Named characters

Major entities (proper, common)

FAC

63 home/Home
60 the room/The room
43 the garden/The garden
41 the house/The house
38 here/Here
21 the park/The park
18 there
18 the dormitory
17 stairs
17 the Rue Fossette

GPE

17 the city/The city/the City
13 town
7 the town
6 the country
4 this country
3 there
2 a town
2 The place/the place
2 this faubourg
1 the clean and ancient town of Bretton

LOC

36 the world/The world
11 this world
7 earth
6 the sea
5 the country
5 Heaven/heaven
3 the whole world
3 the land
2 land
2 the Channel

PER

79 papa
46 one/One
40 his mother/His mother
35 her father/Her father
33 Monsieur/monsieur
31 nobody/Nobody
30 others
29 the pupils
28 my godmother/My godmother
28 the child/The child

ORG

5 the school
2 Holy Church
2 the Church
1 an English school
1 That school
1 the true Church
1 Cheerful society
1 the Catholic religion
1 the principal musical society
1 all the best provincial choral societies

VEH

18 the carriage/The carriage
6 the ship
3 the vehicle
3 carriages
3 a carriage
2 the coach
2 the vessel
2 my carriage
1 vessels
1 a coach

Text

VILLETTE . BY [CHARLOTTE BRONTE]_{127-charlotte bronte} . CONTENTS CHAPTER I. [BRETTON]_135-graham II . [PAULINA III]_{128-paulina iii} . THE PLAYMATES IV . [MISS MARCHMONT V. TURNING A NEW LEAF VI]_{500-miss marchmont v. turning a new leaf vi} . [LONDON]_2-london VII . [VILLETTE]_3-villette VIII . [MADAME BECK IX . ISIDORE X. DR . JOHN XI]_{501-madame beck ix . isidore x. dr . john xi} . [THE PORTRESS 'S CABINET XII]_{4-the portress 's cabinet xii} . [THE CASKET XIII . A SNEEZE OUT OF SEASON XIV]_{502-the casket xiii . a sneeze out of season xiv} . [THE FETE XV]_{5-the fete xv} . [THE LONG VACATION XVI]_{6-the long vacation xvi} . [AULD LANG SYNE XVII]_{7-auld lang syne xvii} . [LA TERRASSE XVIII]_{8-la terrasse xviii} . [WE]_503-we QUARREL XIX . THE CLEOPATRA XX . [THE CONCERT XXI]_{9-the concert xxi} . REACTION XXII . THE LETTER XXIII . VASHTI XXIV . M. DE BASSOMPIERRE XXV . [THE LITTLE COUNTESS XXVI]_{504-the little countess xxvi} . A BURIAL XXVII . [THE HOTEL CRECY XXVIII]_{505-the hotel crecy xxviii} . THE WATCHGUARD XXIX . [MONSIEUR 'S FETE]_{10-monsieur 's fete} XXX . M. [PAUL XXXI]_{129-paul xxxi} . THE DRYAD XXXII . THE FIRST LETTER XXXIII . M. [PAUL]_{129-paul xxxi} KEEPS [HIS]_{129-paul xxxi} PROMISE XXXIV . MALEVOLA XXXV . FRATERNITY XXXVI . [THE APPLE OF DISCORD XXXVII]_{11-the apple of discord xxxvii} . SUNSHINE XXXVIII . CLOUD XXXIX . [OLD AND NEW ACQUAINTANCE XL]_{12-old and new acquaintance xl} . [THE HAPPY PAIR XLI . FAUBOURG CLOTILDE XLII . FINIS VILLETTE . CHAPTER I. BRETTON]_{13-the happy pair xli . faubourg clotilde xlii . finis villette . chapter i. bretton} . [[My]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} lived in [a handsome house in [the clean and ancient town of Bretton]_{508-the clean and ancient town of bretton}]_{507-a handsome house in the clean and ancient town of bretton} . [[[Her]_{506-my godmother} husband]_{509-her husband} 's family]_{510-her husband 's family} had been [residents]_{511-residents} [there]_512-there for generations , and bore , indeed , the name of [[their]_{510-her husband 's family} birthplace]_{513-their birthplace} - [Bretton of Bretton]_{14-bretton of bretton} : whether by coincidence , or because [some remote ancestor]_{514-some remote ancestor} had been [a personage]_{515-a personage} of sufficient importance to leave [his]_{514-some remote ancestor} name to [[his]_{514-some remote ancestor} neighbourhood]_{516-his neighbourhood} , [I]_0-i know not . When [I]_0-i was [a girl]_{517-a girl} [I]_0-i went to [Bretton]_135-graham about twice a year , and well [I]_0-i liked the visit . [The house]_{518-the house} and [[its]_{518-the house} inmates]_{519-its inmates} specially suited [me]_0-i . [The large peaceful rooms]_{520-the large peaceful rooms} , the well - arranged furniture , the clear wide windows , [the balcony]_{521-the balcony} outside , looking down on [a fine antique street]_{522-a fine antique street} , where Sundays and holidays seemed always to abide - so quiet was [its]_{518-the house} atmosphere , so clean [its]_{518-the house} pavement - these things pleased [me]_0-i well . [One child in a household of [grown people]_{524-grown people}]_{523-one child in a household of grown people} is usually made very much of , and in a quiet way [I]_0-i was a good deal taken notice of by [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , who had been left [a widow]_{525-a widow} , with [one son]_{526-one son} , before [I]_0-i knew [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} ; [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} husband]_{509-her husband} , [a physician]_{528-a physician} , having died while [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} was yet [a young and handsome woman]_{529-a young and handsome woman} . [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} was not young , as [I]_0-i remember [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} , but [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} was still handsome , tall , well - made , and though dark for [an Englishwoman]_{530-an englishwoman} , yet wearing always the clearness of health in [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} brunette cheek , and its vivacity in a pair of fine , cheerful black eyes . [People]_531-people esteemed it a grievous pity that [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had not conferred [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} complexion on [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} , whose eyes were blue - though , even in boyhood , very piercing - and the colour of [his]_{532-her son} long hair such as [friends]_533-friends did not venture to specify , except as the sun shone on it , when [they]_533-friends called it golden . [He]_{532-her son} inherited the lines of [[his]_{532-her son} mother]_{534-his mother} 's features , however ; also [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} good teeth , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} stature or the promise of [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} stature , for [he]_{532-her son} was not yet full- grown , and , what was better , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} health without flaw , and [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} spirits of that tone and equality which are better than a fortune to [the possessor]_{535-the possessor} . In the autumn of the year - - [I]_0-i was staying at [Bretton]_135-graham ; [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} having come in person to claim [me]_0-i of the kinsfolk with whom was at that time fixed [[my]_0-i permanent residence]_{537-my permanent residence} . [I]_0-i believe [she]_{506-my godmother} then plainly saw events coming , whose very shadow [I]_0-i scarce guessed ; yet of which the faint suspicion sufficed to impart unsettled sadness , and made [me]_0-i glad to change scene and society . Time always flowed smoothly for [me]_0-i at [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} 's side ; not with tumultuous swiftness , but blandly , like the gliding of a full river through [a plain]_{539-a plain} . [My]_0-i visits to [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} resembled the sojourn of [Christian]_{131-christian} and [Hopeful]_132-hopeful beside [a certain pleasant stream]_{540-a certain pleasant stream} , with " green trees on each bank , and [meadows beautified with lilies]_{4203-meadows beautified with lilies} all the year round . "_{[132-hopeful]} The charm of variety there was not , nor the excitement of incident ; but [I]_0-i liked peace so well , and sought stimulus so little , that when [the latter]_{541-the latter} came [I]_0-i almost felt it a disturbance , and wished rather it had still held aloof . One day a letter was received of which the contents evidently caused [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} surprise and some concern . [I]_0-i thought at first it was from [home]_542-home , and trembled , expecting [I]_0-i know not what disastrous communication : to [me]_0-i , however , no reference was made , and the cloud seemed to pass . The next day , on [my]_0-i return from a long walk , [I]_0-i found , as [I]_0-i entered [[my]_0-i bedroom]_{543-my bedroom} , an unexpected change . In , addition to [my]_0-i own French bed in [its]_544-its shady recess , appeared in a corner a small crib , draped with white ; and in addition to [my]_0-i mahogany chest of drawers , [I]_0-i saw a tiny rosewood chest . [I]_0-i stood still , gazed , and considered . " Of what are these things the signs and tokens ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . The answer was obvious . " [A second guest]_{4204-a second guest} is coming : [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} expects [other visitors]_{4205-other visitors} . "_[0-i] On descending to dinner , explanations ensued . [A little girl]_{545-a little girl} , [I]_0-i was told , would shortly be [[my]_0-i companion]_{546-my companion} : [the daughter of [a friend and distant relation of [the late Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's]_{548-a friend and distant relation of the late dr. bretton 's}]_{547-the daughter of a friend and distant relation of the late dr. bretton 's} . [This little girl]_{549-this little girl} , it was added , had recently lost [[her]_{549-this little girl} mother]_{550-her mother} ; though , indeed , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ere long subjoined , the loss was not so great as might at first appear . [Mrs. Home]_{133-mrs. home} Home it seems was the name had been a very pretty , but [a giddy , careless woman , who had neglected [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} child]_{552-her child} , and disappointed and disheartened [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} husband]_{509-her husband}]_{551-a giddy , careless woman , who had neglected her child , and disappointed and disheartened her husband} . So far from congenial had the union proved , that separation at last ensued - separation by mutual consent , not after any legal process . Soon after this event , [the lady]_{554-the lady} having over - exerted [herself]_{554-the lady} at a ball , caught cold , took a fever , and died after a very brief illness . [[Her]_{130-mrs. bretton} husband]_{509-her husband} , naturally [a man of very sensitive feelings]_{556-a man of very sensitive feelings} , and shocked inexpressibly by too sudden communication of the news , could hardly , it seems , now be persuaded but that some over - severity on [his]_{509-her husband} part - some deficiency in patience and indulgence - had contributed to hasten [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} end . [He]_{509-her husband} had brooded over this idea till [his]_{509-her husband} spirits were seriously affected ; [the medical men]_{557-the medical men} insisted on travelling being tried as a remedy , and meanwhile [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} had offered to take charge of [[his]_{509-her husband} little girl]_{558-his little girl} . " And [I]_{506-my godmother} hope , "_{[506-my godmother]} added [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} in conclusion , " [the child]_{4206-the child} will not be like [[her]_{4206-the child} mamma]_{4207-her mamma} ; as silly and frivolous a little flirt as [ever sensible man]_{4208-ever sensible man} was weak enough to marry . For , "_{[506-my godmother]} said [she]_{506-my godmother} , " [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} is [a sensible man]_{4209-a sensible man} in [his]_{134-mr. home} way , though not very practical : [he]_{134-mr. home} is fond of science , and lives half [his]_{134-mr. home} life in a laboratory trying experiments - a thing [[his]_{134-mr. home} butterfly wife]_{4210-his butterfly wife} could neither comprehend nor endure ; and indeed "_{[506-my godmother]} confessed [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} , " [I]_{506-my godmother} should not have liked it [myself]_{506-my godmother} . "_{[506-my godmother]} In answer to a question of [mine]_0-i , [she]_{506-my godmother} further informed [me]_0-i that [[her]_{506-my godmother} late husband]_{561-her late husband} used to say , [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} had derived this scientific turn from [a maternal uncle]_{562-a maternal uncle} , [a French savant]_{563-a french savant} ; for [he]_{562-a maternal uncle} came , it seems ; of mixed French and Scottish origin , and had connections now living in [France]_15-france , of whom more than one wrote de before [his]_{562-a maternal uncle} name , and called [himself]_{562-a maternal uncle} noble . That same evening at nine o'clock , [a servant]_{564-a servant} was despatched to meet [the coach]_{565-the coach} by which [[our]_566-our little visitor]_{567-our little visitor} was expected . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} and [I]_0-i sat alone in [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} waiting [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} coming ; [John Graham Bretton]_135-graham being absent on a visit to [one of [[his]_135-graham schoolfellows who lived in [the country]_{571-the country}]_{570-his schoolfellows who lived in the country}]_{569-one of his schoolfellows who lived in the country} . [[My]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} read the evening paper while [she]_{506-my godmother} waited ; [I]_0-i sewed . It was a wet night ; the rain lashed the panes , and the wind sounded angry and restless . " [Poor child]_{4211-poor child} ! "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} from time to time . " What weather for [her]_{4211-poor child} journey ! [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} wish [she]_{4211-poor child} were safe [here]_4212-here . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} A little before ten the door - bell announced [Warren]_136-warren 's return . No sooner was the door opened than [I]_0-i ran down into [the hall]_{573-the hall} ; there lay a trunk and some band - boxes , beside them stood [a person like [a nurse - girl]_{575-a nurse - girl}]_{574-a person like a nurse - girl} , and at the foot of the staircase was [Warren]_136-warren with a shawled bundle in [his]_136-warren arms . " Is that [the child]_{4206-the child} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " Yes , [miss]_4214-miss . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i would have opened the shawl , and tried to get a peep at the face , but it was hastily turned from [me]_0-i to [Warren]_136-warren 's shoulder . " Put [me]_136-warren down , [please]_4215-please , "_[136-warren] said a small voice when [Warren]_136-warren opened the drawing - room door , " and take off this shawl , "_{[576-the speaker]} continued [the speaker]_{576-the speaker} , extracting with its minute hand the pin , and with a sort of fastidious haste doffing the clumsy wrapping . The creature which now appeared made a deft attempt to fold the shawl ; but the drapery was much too heavy and large to be sustained or wielded by those hands and arms . " Give it to [Harriet]_137-harriet , please , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} was then the direction , " and [she]_137-harriet can put it away . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} This said , it turned and fixed its eyes on [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . " Come here , [little dear]_{4216-little dear} , "_{[577-that lady]} said [that lady]_{577-that lady} . " Come and let [me]_{577-that lady} see if [you]_{4216-little dear} are cold and damp : come and let [me]_{577-that lady} warm [you]_{4216-little dear} at the fire . "_{[577-that lady]} [The child]_{4206-the child} advanced promptly . Relieved of [her]_{4206-the child} wrapping , [she]_{4206-the child} appeared exceedingly tiny ; but was a neat , completely - fashioned little figure , light , slight , and straight . Seated on [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} 's ample lap , [she]_{4206-the child} looked [a mere doll]_{580-a mere doll} ; [her]_{4206-the child} neck , delicate as wax , [her]_{4206-the child} head of silky curls , increased , [I]_0-i thought , the resemblance . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} talked in little fond phrases as [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} chafed [the child]_{4206-the child} 's hands , arms , and feet ; first [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} was considered with a wistful gaze , but soon a smile answered [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} was not generally [a caressing woman]_{582-a caressing woman} : even with [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} deeply - cherished son]_{583-her deeply - cherished son} , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} manner was rarely sentimental , often the reverse ; but when [the small stranger]_{584-the small stranger} smiled at [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} , [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} kissed it , asking , " What is [[my]_{130-mrs. bretton} little one]_{4217-my little one} 's name ? "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " [Missy]_138-missy . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " But besides [Missy]_138-missy ? "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " [Polly]_139-polly , [papa]_4218-papa calls [her]_139-polly . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " Will [Polly]_139-polly be content to live with [me]_{130-mrs. bretton} ? "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " Not always ; but till [papa]_4218-papa comes [home]_542-home . [Papa]_140-papa is gone away . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} shook [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} head expressively . " [He]_140-papa will return to [Polly]_139-polly , or send for [her]_139-polly . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " Will [he]_140-papa , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am ? Do [you]_4221-ma'am know [he]_140-papa will ? "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} think so . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " But [Harriet]_137-harriet thinks not : at least not for a long while . [He]_140-papa is ill . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [Her]_{130-mrs. bretton} eyes filled . [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} drew [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} hand from [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's and made a movement to leave [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} lap ; it was at first resisted , but [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} said - " Please , [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} wish to go : [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} can sit on a stool . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} was allowed to slip down from the knee , and taking a footstool , [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} carried it to a corner where the shade was deep , and there seated [herself]_{130-mrs. bretton} . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , though a commanding , and in grave matters even [a peremptory woman]_{585-a peremptory woman} , was often passive in trifles : [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} allowed [the child]_{4206-the child} [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} way . [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} said to [me]_0-i , " Take no notice at present . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} But [I]_0-i did take notice : [I]_0-i watched [Polly]_139-polly rest [her]_139-polly small elbow on [her]_139-polly small knee , [her]_139-polly head on [her]_139-polly hand ; [I]_0-i observed [her]_139-polly draw a square inch or two of pocket - handkerchief from the doll - pocket of [her]_139-polly doll - skirt , and then [I]_0-i heard [her]_139-polly weep . [Other children in grief or pain]_{587-other children in grief or pain} cry aloud , without shame or restraint ; but this being wept : the tiniest occasional sniff testified to [her]_139-polly emotion . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} did not hear it : which was quite as well . Ere long , a voice , issuing from the corner , demanded - " May the bell be rung for [Harriet]_137-harriet ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i rang ; [the nurse]_{588-the nurse} was summoned and came . " [Harriet]_137-harriet , [I]_{589-her little mistress} must be put to bed , "_{[589-her little mistress]} said [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} little mistress]_{589-her little mistress} . " [You]_137-harriet must ask where [my]_{589-her little mistress} bed is . "_{[589-her little mistress]} [Harriet]_137-harriet signified that [she]_{589-her little mistress} had already made that inquiry . " Ask if [you]_137-harriet sleep with [me]_137-harriet , [Harriet]_137-harriet . "_{[137-harriet]} " No , [Missy]_138-missy , "_{[588-the nurse]} said [the nurse]_{588-the nurse} : " [you]_138-missy are to share [[this young lady]_{4222-this young lady} 's room]_{4223-this young lady 's room} , "_{[588-the nurse]} designating [me]_0-i . [Missy]_138-missy did not leave [her]_138-missy seat , but [I]_0-i saw [her]_138-missy eyes seek [me]_0-i . After some minutes ' silent scrutiny , [she]_138-missy emerged from [her]_138-missy corner . " [I]_138-missy wish [you]_0-i , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am , good night , "_[138-missy] said [she]_138-missy to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ; but [she]_138-missy passed [me]_0-i mute . " Good - night , [Polly]_139-polly , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . " No need to say good - night , since [we]_592-we sleep in [the same chamber]_{4225-the same chamber} , "_[138-missy] was the reply , with which [she]_138-missy vanished from [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} . [We]_592-we heard [Harriet]_137-harriet propose to carry [her]_138-missy up - [stairs]_593-stairs . " No need , "_[138-missy] was again [her]_138-missy answer - " no need , no need : "_[138-missy] and [her]_138-missy small step toiled wearily up the staircase . On going to bed an hour afterwards , [I]_0-i found [her]_138-missy still wide awake . [She]_138-missy had arranged [her]_138-missy pillows so as to support [[her]_138-missy little person]_{594-her little person} in a sitting posture : [her]_138-missy hands , placed one within the other , rested quietly on the sheet , with an old - fashioned calm most unchildlike . [I]_0-i abstained from speaking to [her]_138-missy for some time , but just before extinguishing the light , [I]_0-i recommended [her]_138-missy to lie down . " By and by , "_[0-i] was the answer . " But [you]_138-missy will take cold , [Missy]_138-missy . "_[138-missy] [She]_138-missy took some tiny article of raiment from the chair at [her]_138-missy crib side , and with it covered [her]_138-missy shoulders . [I]_0-i suffered [her]_138-missy to do as [she]_138-missy pleased . Listening awhile in the darkness , [I]_0-i was aware that [she]_138-missy still wept , - wept under restraint , quietly and cautiously . On awaking with daylight , a trickling of water caught [my]_0-i ear . Behold ! there [she]_138-missy was risen and mounted on a stool near [the washstand]_{595-the washstand} , with pains and difficulty inclining the ewer which [she]_138-missy could not lift so as to pour its contents into the basin . It was curious to watch [her]_138-missy as [she]_138-missy washed and dressed , so small , busy , and noiseless . Evidently [she]_138-missy was little accustomed to perform [her]_138-missy own toilet ; and the buttons , strings , hooks and eyes , offered difficulties which [she]_138-missy encountered with a perseverance good to witness . [She]_138-missy folded [her]_138-missy night - dress , [she]_138-missy smoothed the drapery of [her]_138-missy couch quite neatly ; withdrawing into a corner , where the sweep of the white curtain concealed [her]_138-missy , [she]_138-missy became still . [I]_0-i half rose , and advanced [my]_0-i , head to see how [she]_138-missy was occupied . On [her]_138-missy knees , with [her]_138-missy forehead bent on [her]_138-missy hands , [I]_0-i perceived that [she]_138-missy was praying . [[Her]_138-missy nurse]_{596-her nurse} tapped at the door . [She]_138-missy started up . " [I]_{596-her nurse} am dressed , [Harriet]_137-harriet , "_{[596-her nurse]} said [she]_{596-her nurse} ; " [I]_{596-her nurse} have dressed [myself]_{596-her nurse} , but [I]_{596-her nurse} do not feel neat . Make [me]_{596-her nurse} neat ! "_{[596-her nurse]} " Why did [you]_137-harriet dress [yourself]_137-harriet , [Missy]_138-missy ? "_{[596-her nurse]} " Hush ! speak low , [Harriet]_137-harriet , for fear of waking [the girl]_{4226-the girl} "_[0-i] meaning [me]_0-i , who now lay with [my]_0-i eyes shut . " [I]_0-i dressed [myself]_0-i to learn , against the time [you]_137-harriet leave [me]_0-i . "_[0-i] " Do [you]_137-harriet want [me]_{596-her nurse} to go ? "_{[596-her nurse]} " When [you]_137-harriet are cross , [I]_{596-her nurse} have many a time wanted [you]_137-harriet to go , but not now . Tie [my]_{596-her nurse} sash straight ; make [my]_{596-her nurse} hair smooth , please . "_{[596-her nurse]} " [Your]_137-harriet sash is straight enough . What a particular little body [you]_137-harriet are ! "_{[596-her nurse]} " It must be tied again . Please to tie it . "_{[596-her nurse]} " There , then . When [I]_{596-her nurse} am gone [you]_137-harriet must get [that young lady]_{4227-that young lady} to dress [you]_137-harriet . "_{[596-her nurse]} " On no account . "_{[596-her nurse]} " Why ? [She]_{4227-that young lady} is [a very nice young lady]_{4228-a very nice young lady} . [I]_{596-her nurse} hope [you]_137-harriet mean to behave prettily to [her]_{4227-that young lady} , [Missy]_138-missy , and not show [your]_137-harriet airs . "_{[596-her nurse]} " [She]_{4227-that young lady} shall dress [me]_{596-her nurse} on no account . "_{[596-her nurse]} " Comical little thing ! "_{[596-her nurse]} " [You]_598-i are not passing the comb straight through [my]_{596-her nurse} hair , [Harriet]_137-harriet ; the line will be crooked . "_{[596-her nurse]} " Ay , [you]_598-i are ill to please . Does that suit ? "_{[596-her nurse]} " Pretty well . Where should [I]_{596-her nurse} go now that [I]_{596-her nurse} am dressed ? "_{[596-her nurse]} " [I]_{596-her nurse} will take [you]_137-harriet into [the breakfast - room]_{4229-the breakfast - room} . "_{[596-her nurse]} " Come , then . "_[597-they] [They]_597-they proceeded to the door . [She]_598-i stopped . " Oh ! [Harriet]_137-harriet , [I]_598-i wish this was [[papa]_4218-papa 's house]_{4231-papa 's house} ! [I]_598-i do n't know [these people]_{4232-these people} . "_[598-i] " Be [a good child]_{4233-a good child} , [Missy]_138-missy . "_{[596-her nurse]} " [I]_598-i am good , but [I]_598-i ache [here]_4212-here ; "_[598-i] putting [her]_598-i hand to [her]_598-i heart , and moaning while [she]_598-i reiterated , " [Papa]_140-papa ! [papa]_4218-papa ! "_[598-i] [I]_0-i roused [myself]_0-i and started up , to check this scene while it was yet within bounds . " Say good - morning to [the young lady]_{4236-the young lady} , "_{[137-harriet]} dictated [Harriet]_137-harriet . [She]_598-i said , " Good - morning , "_[598-i] and then followed [[her]_598-i nurse]_{596-her nurse} from [the room]_{600-the room} . [Harriet]_137-harriet temporarily left that same day , to go to [[her]_137-harriet own friends , who lived in [the neighbourhood]_{602-the neighbourhood}]_{601-her own friends , who lived in the neighbourhood} . On descending , [I]_0-i found [Paulina]_{128-paulina iii} [the child]_{4206-the child} called [herself]_{4206-the child} [Polly]_139-polly , but [her]_{4206-the child} full name was [Paulina Mary]_141-paulina seated at the breakfast - table , by [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's side ; a mug of milk stood before [her]_{4206-the child} , a morsel of bread filled [her]_{4206-the child} hand , which lay passive on the table - cloth : [she]_{4206-the child} was not eating . " How [we]_4237-we shall conciliate [this little creature]_{4238-this little creature} , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} to [me]_0-i , " [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} do n't know : [she]_{4238-this little creature} tastes nothing , and by [her]_{4238-this little creature} looks , [she]_{4238-this little creature} has not slept . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [I]_0-i expressed [my]_0-i confidence in the effects of time and kindness . " If [she]_{4238-this little creature} were to take a fancy to [anybody]_4239-anybody in [the house]_{518-the house} , [she]_{4238-this little creature} would soon settle ; but not till then , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} replied [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . CHAPTER II . [PAULINA]_141-paulina . Some days elapsed , and it appeared [she]_141-paulina was not likely to take much of a fancy to [[anybody]_4239-anybody in [the house]_{518-the house}]_{605-anybody in the house} . [She]_141-paulina was not exactly naughty or wilful : [she]_141-paulina was far from disobedient ; but an object less conducive to comfort - to tranquillity even - than [she]_141-paulina presented , it was scarcely possible to have before [one]_607-one 's eyes . [She]_141-paulina moped : [no grown person]_{608-no grown person} could have performed that uncheering business better ; [no furrowed face of adult exile]_{609-no furrowed face of adult exile} , longing for [Europe]_17-europe at [[Europe]_17-europe 's antipodes]_{610-europe 's antipodes} , ever bore more legibly the signs of [home]_542-home sickness than did [her]_141-paulina infant visage . [She]_141-paulina seemed growing old and unearthly . [I]_0-i , [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy , plead guiltless of that curse , an overheated and discursive imagination ; but whenever , opening [a room]_{612-a room} - door , [I]_0-i found [her]_141-paulina seated in a corner alone , [her]_141-paulina head in [her]_141-paulina pigmy hand , [that room]_{613-that room} seemed to [me]_0-i not inhabited , but haunted . And again , when of moonlight nights , on waking , [I]_0-i beheld [her]_141-paulina figure , white and conspicuous in [its]_141-paulina night - dress , kneeling upright in bed , and praying like [some Catholic or Methodist enthusiast]_{614-some catholic or methodist enthusiast} - [some precocious fanatic or untimely saint]_{615-some precocious fanatic or untimely saint} - [I]_0-i scarcely know what thoughts [I]_0-i had ; but [they]_616-they ran risk of being hardly more rational and healthy than [that child]_{617-that child} 's mind must have been . [I]_0-i seldom caught a word of [her]_141-paulina prayers , for they were whispered low : sometimes , indeed , they were not whispered at all , but put up unuttered ; such rare sentences as reached [my]_0-i ear still bore the burden , " [Papa]_140-papa ; [[my]_0-i dear papa]_{4241-my dear papa} ! "_[0-i] This , [I]_0-i perceived , was a one - idea'd nature ; betraying that monomaniac tendency [I]_0-i have ever thought the most unfortunate with which [man]_618-man or [woman]_619-woman can be cursed . What might have been the end of this fretting , had it continued unchecked , can only be conjectured : it received , however , a sudden turn . One afternoon , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , coaxing [her]_141-paulina from [[her]_141-paulina usual station]_{620-her usual station} in a corner , had lifted [her]_141-paulina into the window - seat , and , by way of occupying [her]_141-paulina attention , told [her]_141-paulina to watch [the passengers]_{621-the passengers} and count how many [ladies]_622-ladies should go down [the street]_{623-the street} in a given time . [She]_141-paulina had sat listlessly , hardly looking , and not counting , when - [my]_0-i eye being fixed on [hers]_141-paulina - [I]_0-i witnessed in its iris and pupil a startling transfiguration . These sudden , dangerous natures - sensitive as they are called - offer many a curious spectacle to [those whom a cooler temperament has secured from participation in [their]_{624-those whom a cooler temperament has secured from participation in their angular vagaries} angular vagaries]_{624-those whom a cooler temperament has secured from participation in their angular vagaries} . The fixed and heavy gaze swum , trembled , then glittered in fire ; the small , overcast brow cleared ; the trivial and dejected features lit up ; the sad countenance vanished , and in its place appeared a sudden eagerness , an intense expectancy . " It is ! "_{[141-paulina]} were [her]_141-paulina words . Like a bird or a shaft , or any other swift thing , [she]_141-paulina was gone from [the room]_{600-the room} , How [she]_141-paulina got the house - door open [I]_0-i can not tell ; probably it might be ajar ; perhaps [Warren]_136-warren was in the way and obeyed [her]_141-paulina behest , which would be impetuous enough . [I]_0-i - watching calmly from the window - saw [her]_141-paulina , in [her]_141-paulina black frock and tiny braided apron to pinafores [she]_141-paulina had an antipathy , dart half the length of [the street]_{623-the street} ; and , as [I]_0-i was on the point of turning , and quietly announcing to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} that [the child]_{4206-the child} was run out mad , and ought instantly to be pursued , [I]_0-i saw [her]_141-paulina caught up , and rapt at once from [my]_0-i cool observation , and from the wondering stare of [the passengers]_{621-the passengers} . [A gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} had done this good turn , and now , covering [her]_141-paulina with [his]_{629-a gentleman} cloak , advanced to restore [her]_141-paulina to [the house]_{518-the house} whence [he]_{629-a gentleman} had seen [her]_141-paulina issue . [I]_0-i concluded [he]_{629-a gentleman} would leave [her]_141-paulina in [a servant]_{564-a servant} 's charge and withdraw ; but [he]_{629-a gentleman} entered : having tarried a little while below , [he]_{629-a gentleman} came up - [stairs]_593-stairs . [His]_{629-a gentleman} reception immediately explained that [he]_{629-a gentleman} was known to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} recognised [him]_{629-a gentleman} ; [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} greeted [him]_{629-a gentleman} , and yet [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} was fluttered , surprised , taken unawares . [Her]_{130-mrs. bretton} look and manner were even expostulatory ; and in reply to these , rather than [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} words , [he]_{629-a gentleman} said , - " [I]_{629-a gentleman} could not help it , [madam]_4242-madam : [I]_{629-a gentleman} found it impossible to leave [the country]_{571-the country} without seeing with [my]_{629-a gentleman} own eyes how [she]_141-paulina settled . "_{[629-a gentleman]} " But [you]_{629-a gentleman} will unsettle [her]_141-paulina . "_{[629-a gentleman]} " [I]_{629-a gentleman} hope not . And how is [[papa]_4218-papa 's little [Polly]_141-paulina]_{4245-papa 's little polly} ? "_{[629-a gentleman]} This question [he]_{629-a gentleman} addressed to [Paulina]_141-paulina , as [he]_{629-a gentleman} sat down and placed [her]_141-paulina gently on the ground before [him]_{629-a gentleman} . " How is [[Polly]_141-paulina 's papa]_{4246-polly 's papa} ? "_{[141-paulina]} was the reply , as [she]_141-paulina leaned on [his]_{629-a gentleman} knee , and gazed up into [his]_{629-a gentleman} face . It was not a noisy , not a wordy scene : for that [I]_0-i was thankful ; but it was a scene of feeling too brimful , and which , because the cup did not foam up high or furiously overflow , only oppressed one the more . On all occasions of vehement , unrestrained expansion , a sense of disdain or ridicule comes to [the weary spectator]_{633-the weary spectator} 's relief ; whereas [I]_0-i have ever felt most burdensome that sort of sensibility which bends of its own will , [a giant slave under the sway of good sense]_{634-a giant slave under the sway of good sense} . [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} was a stern - featured - perhaps [I]_0-i should rather say , [a hard- featured man]_{635-a hard- featured man} : [his]_{629-a gentleman} forehead was knotty , and [his]_{629-a gentleman} cheekbones were marked and prominent . The character of [his]_{629-a gentleman} face was quite Scotch ; but there was feeling in [his]_{629-a gentleman} eye , and emotion in [his]_{629-a gentleman} now agitated countenance . [His]_{629-a gentleman} northern accent in speaking harmonised with [his]_{629-a gentleman} physiognomy . [He]_{629-a gentleman} was at once proud - looking and homely - looking . [He]_{629-a gentleman} laid [his]_{629-a gentleman} hand on [the child]_{4206-the child} 's uplifted head . [She]_{4206-the child} said - " Kiss [Polly]_141-paulina . "_{[4206-the child]} [He]_{629-a gentleman} kissed [her]_{4206-the child} . [I]_0-i wished [she]_{4206-the child} would utter some hysterical cry , so that [I]_0-i might get relief and be at ease . [She]_{4206-the child} made wonderfully little noise : [she]_{4206-the child} seemed to have got what [she]_{4206-the child} wanted - all [she]_{4206-the child} wanted , and to be in a trance of content . Neither in [mien]_637-mien nor in features was [this creature like [[her]_{4206-the child} sire]_{639-her sire}]_{638-this creature like her sire} , and yet [she]_{4206-the child} was of [his]_{629-a gentleman} strain : [her]_{4206-the child} mind had been filled from [his]_{629-a gentleman} , as the cup from the flagon . Indisputably , [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} owned manly self - control , however [he]_{629-a gentleman} might secretly feel on some matters . " [Polly]_141-paulina , "_{[629-a gentleman]} [he]_{629-a gentleman} said , looking down on [[his]_{629-a gentleman} little girl]_{558-his little girl} , " go into [the hall]_{573-the hall} ; [you]_141-paulina will see [papa]_4218-papa 's great - coat lying on a chair ; put [your]_141-paulina hand into the pockets , [you]_141-paulina will find a pocket- handkerchief there ; bring it to [me]_{629-a gentleman} . "_{[629-a gentleman]} [She]_{558-his little girl} obeyed ; went and returned deftly and nimbly . [He]_{629-a gentleman} was talking to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} when [she]_{558-his little girl} came back , and [she]_{558-his little girl} waited with the handkerchief in [her]_{558-his little girl} hand . It was a picture , in its way , to see [her]_{558-his little girl} , with [her]_{558-his little girl} tiny stature , and trim , neat shape , standing at [his]_{629-a gentleman} knee . Seeing that [he]_{629-a gentleman} continued to talk , apparently unconscious of [her]_{558-his little girl} return , [she]_{558-his little girl} took [his]_{629-a gentleman} hand , opened the unresisting fingers , insinuated into them the handkerchief , and closed them upon it one by one . [He]_{629-a gentleman} still seemed not to see or to feel [her]_{558-his little girl} ; but by - and - by , [he]_{629-a gentleman} lifted [her]_{558-his little girl} to [his]_{629-a gentleman} knee ; [she]_{558-his little girl} nestled against [him]_{629-a gentleman} , and though neither looked at nor spoke to [the other]_{641-the other} for an hour following , [I]_0-i suppose [both]_642-both were satisfied . During tea , the minute thing 's movements and behaviour gave , as usual , full occupation to the eye . First [she]_{558-his little girl} directed [Warren]_136-warren , as [he]_{629-a gentleman} placed the chairs . " Put [papa]_4218-papa 's chair here , and [mine]_{558-his little girl} near it , between [papa]_4218-papa and [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} : [I]_{558-his little girl} must hand [his]_4218-papa tea . "_{[558-his little girl]} [She]_{558-his little girl} took [her]_{558-his little girl} own seat , and beckoned with [her]_{558-his little girl} hand to [[her]_{558-his little girl} father]_{643-her father} . " Be near [me]_{558-his little girl} , as if [we]_4251-we were at [home]_542-home , [papa]_4218-papa . "_{[558-his little girl]} And again , as [she]_{558-his little girl} intercepted [his]_{629-a gentleman} cup in passing , and would stir the sugar , and put in the cream [herself]_{558-his little girl} , " [I]_{558-his little girl} always did it for [you]_{629-a gentleman} at [home]_542-home ; [papa]_4218-papa : [nobody]_4256-nobody could do it as well , not even [[your]_{629-a gentleman} own self]_{4257-your own self} . "_{[558-his little girl]} Throughout the meal [she]_{558-his little girl} continued [her]_{558-his little girl} attentions : rather absurd they were . The sugar - tongs were too wide for one of [her]_{558-his little girl} hands , and [she]_{558-his little girl} had to use both in wielding them ; the weight of the silver cream - ewer , the bread - and - butter plates , the very cup and saucer , tasked [her]_{558-his little girl} insufficient strength and dexterity ; but [she]_{558-his little girl} would lift this , hand that , and luckily contrived through it all to break nothing . Candidly speaking , [I]_0-i thought [her]_{558-his little girl} a little busy - body ; but [[her]_{558-his little girl} father]_{643-her father} , blind like [other parents]_{645-other parents} , seemed perfectly content to let [her]_{558-his little girl} wait on [him]_{643-her father} , and even wonderfully soothed by [her]_{558-his little girl} offices . " [She]_{577-that lady} is [my]_{643-her father} comfort ! "_{[643-her father]} [he]_{643-her father} could not help saying to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . [That lady]_{577-that lady} had [her]_{577-that lady} own " comfort "_{[643-her father]} and nonpareil on a much larger scale , and , for the moment , absent ; so [she]_{577-that lady} sympathised with [his]_{643-her father} foible . This second " comfort "_{[577-that lady]} came on the stage in the course of the evening . [I]_0-i knew this day had been fixed for [his]_{643-her father} return , and was aware that [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} had been expecting [him]_{643-her father} through all [its]_647-its hours . [We]_648-we were seated round the fire , after tea , when [Graham]_135-graham joined [[our]_648-we circle]_{649-our circle} : [I]_0-i should rather say , broke it up - for , of course , [his]_135-graham arrival made a bustle ; and then , as [Mr. Graham]_135-graham was fasting , there was refreshment to be provided . [He]_135-graham and [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} met as [old acquaintance]_{650-old acquaintance} ; of [the little girl]_{651-the little girl} [he]_135-graham took no notice for a time . [His]_135-graham meal over , and numerous questions from [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} answered , [he]_135-graham turned from the table to the hearth . Opposite where [he]_135-graham had placed [himself]_135-graham was seated [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , and at [his]_135-graham elbow , [the child]_{4206-the child} . When [I]_0-i say [child]_654-child [I]_0-i use an inappropriate and undescriptive term - a term suggesting any picture rather than that of [the demure little person in a mourning frock and white chemisette , that might just have fitted a good - sized doll]_{655-the demure little person in a mourning frock and white chemisette , that might just have fitted a good - sized doll} - perched now on a high chair beside a stand , whereon was [her]_{651-the little girl} toy work - box of white varnished wood , and holding in [her]_{651-the little girl} hands a shred of a handkerchief , which [she]_{651-the little girl} was professing to hem , and at which [she]_{651-the little girl} bored perseveringly with a needle , that in [her]_{651-the little girl} fingers seemed almost a skewer , pricking [herself]_{651-the little girl} ever and anon , marking the cambric with a track of minute red dots ; occasionally starting when the perverse weapon - swerving from [her]_{651-the little girl} control - inflicted a deeper stab than usual ; but still silent , diligent , absorbed , womanly . [Graham]_135-graham was at that time [a handsome , faithless - looking youth of sixteen]_{656-a handsome , faithless - looking youth of sixteen} . [I]_0-i say faithless - looking , not because [he]_135-graham was really of a very perfidious disposition , but because the epithet strikes [me]_0-i as proper to describe [the fair , Celtic not Saxon character of [his]_135-graham good looks]_{657-the fair , celtic not saxon character of his good looks} ; [his]_135-graham waved light auburn hair , [his]_135-graham supple symmetry , [his]_135-graham smile frequent , and destitute neither of fascination nor of subtlety in no bad sense . [A spoiled , whimsical boy]_{658-a spoiled , whimsical boy} [he]_135-graham was in those days . " [Mother]_4258-mother , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham said , after eyeing [the little figure before [him]_135-graham]_{659-the little figure before him} in silence for some time , and when the temporary absence of [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} from [the room]_{600-the room} relieved [him]_135-graham from the half - laughing bashfulness , which was all [he]_135-graham knew of timidity - -"Mother , [I]_{534-his mother} see [a young lady in the present society to whom [I]_{534-his mother} have not been introduced]_{4259-a young lady in the present society to whom i have not been introduced} . "_{[534-his mother]} " [[Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} 's little girl]_{4260-mr. home 's little girl} , [I]_{534-his mother} suppose [you]_135-graham mean , "_{[534-his mother]} said [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} . " Indeed , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am , "_{[532-her son]} replied [[her]_{534-his mother} son]_{532-her son} , " [I]_{532-her son} consider [your]_4221-ma'am expression of the least ceremonious : [Miss Home]_{144-miss home} [I]_{532-her son} should certainly have said , in venturing to speak of the gentlewoman to whom [I]_{532-her son} allude . "_{[532-her son]} " Now , [Graham]_135-graham , [I]_{534-his mother} will not have [that child]_{617-that child} teased . Do n't flatter [yourself]_4221-ma'am that [I]_{534-his mother} shall suffer [you]_4221-ma'am to make [her]_{617-that child} [your]_4221-ma'am butt . "_{[534-his mother]} " [Miss Home]_{144-miss home} , "_[135-graham] pursued [Graham]_135-graham , undeterred by [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's remonstrance , " might [I]_{534-his mother} have the honour to introduce [myself]_{534-his mother} , since [no one else]_{4263-no one else} seems willing to render [you]_{534-his mother} and [me]_{534-his mother} that service ? [[Your]_{534-his mother} slave]_{4264-your slave} , [John Graham Bretton]_135-graham . "_{[534-his mother]} [She]_{534-his mother} looked at [him]_135-graham ; [he]_135-graham rose and bowed quite gravely . [She]_{534-his mother} deliberately put down thimble , scissors , work ; descended with precaution from [her]_{534-his mother} perch , and curtsying with unspeakable seriousness , said , " How do [you]_135-graham do ? "_{[534-his mother]} " [I]_{534-his mother} have the honour to be in fair health , only in some measure fatigued with a hurried journey . [I]_{534-his mother} hope , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am , [I]_{534-his mother} see [you]_4221-ma'am well ? "_{[534-his mother]} " Tor - rer - ably well , "_{[534-his mother]} was the ambitious reply of [the little woman]_{664-the little woman} and [she]_{534-his mother} now essayed to regain [her]_{534-his mother} former elevation , but finding this could not be done without some climbing and straining - a sacrifice of decorum not to be thought of - and being utterly disdainful of aid in the presence of [a strange young gentleman]_{665-a strange young gentleman} , [she]_{534-his mother} relinquished the high chair for a low stool : towards that low stool [Graham]_135-graham drew in [his]_135-graham chair . " [I]_135-graham hope , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am , [the present residence]_{4267-the present residence} , [[[my]_135-graham mother]_{4268-my mother} 's house]_{4269-my mother 's house} , appears to [you]_4221-ma'am a convenient place of abode ? "_[135-graham] " Not par - tic - er - er - ly ; [I]_{534-his mother} want to go [home]_542-home . "_{[534-his mother]} " A natural and laudable desire , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am ; but one which , notwithstanding , [I]_{534-his mother} shall do [my]_{534-his mother} best to oppose . [I]_{534-his mother} reckon on being able to get out of [you]_4221-ma'am a little of that precious commodity called amusement , which [mamma]_4272-mamma and [Mistress Snowe]_142-lucy there fail to yield [me]_{534-his mother} . "_{[534-his mother]} " [I]_{534-his mother} shall have to go with [papa]_4218-papa soon : [I]_{534-his mother} shall not stay long at [[your]_4221-ma'am mother]_{4274-your mother} 's . "_{[534-his mother]} " Yes , yes ; [you]_4221-ma'am will stay with [me]_135-graham , [I]_135-graham am sure . [I]_135-graham have a pony on which [you]_4221-ma'am shall ride , and no end of books with pictures to show [you]_4221-ma'am . "_[135-graham] " Are [you]_4221-ma'am going to live [here]_4212-here now ? "_{[534-his mother]} " [I]_{534-his mother} am . Does that please [you]_4221-ma'am ? Do [you]_4221-ma'am like [me]_{534-his mother} ? "_{[534-his mother]} " No . "_{[534-his mother]} " Why ? "_{[534-his mother]} " [I]_{534-his mother} think [you]_4221-ma'am queer . "_{[534-his mother]} " [My]_{534-his mother} face , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am ? "_{[534-his mother]} " [Your]_{534-his mother} face and all about [you]_4221-ma'am : [You]_4221-ma'am have long red hair . "_{[534-his mother]} " Auburn hair , if [you]_4221-ma'am please : [mamma]_4272-mamma , calls it auburn , or golden , and so do [all [her]_4272-mamma friends]_{4278-all her friends} . But even with [my]_666-i ' long red hair ' "_[666-i] and [he]_666-i waved [his]_666-i mane with a sort of triumph - tawny [he]_666-i [himself]_666-i well knew that it was , and [he]_666-i was proud of the leonine hue , " [I]_666-i can not possibly be queerer than is [[your]_4221-ma'am ladyship]_{4279-your ladyship} . "_[666-i] " [You]_4221-ma'am call [me]_{534-his mother} queer ? "_{[534-his mother]} " Certainly . "_[666-i] After a pause , " [I]_666-i think [I]_666-i shall go to bed . "_[666-i] " A little thing like [you]_4221-ma'am ought to have been in bed many hours since ; but [you]_4221-ma'am probably sat up in the expectation of seeing [me]_{534-his mother} ? "_{[534-his mother]} " No , indeed . "_{[534-his mother]} " [You]_4221-ma'am certainly wished to enjoy the pleasure of [my]_666-i society . [You]_4221-ma'am knew [I]_666-i was coming [home]_542-home , and would wait to have a look at [me]_666-i . "_[666-i] " [I]_{534-his mother} sat up for [papa]_4218-papa , and not for [you]_4221-ma'am . "_{[534-his mother]} " Very good , [Miss Home]_{144-miss home} . [I]_667-she am going to be [a favourite]_{4282-a favourite} : preferred before [papa]_4218-papa soon , [I]_667-she daresay . "_[667-she] [She]_667-she wished [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} and [myself]_0-i good - night ; [she]_667-she seemed hesitating whether [Graham]_135-graham 's deserts entitled [him]_135-graham to the same attention , when [he]_135-graham caught [her]_667-she up with one hand , and with that one hand held [her]_667-she poised aloft above [his]_135-graham head . [She]_667-she saw [herself]_667-she thus lifted up on high , in the glass over the fireplace . The suddenness , the freedom , the disrespect of the action were too much . " For shame , [Mr. Graham]_135-graham ! "_[667-she] was [her]_667-she indignant cry , " put [me]_667-she down ! "_[667-she] - and when again on [her]_667-she feet , " [I]_667-she wonder what [you]_135-graham would think of [me]_667-she if [I]_667-she were to treat [you]_135-graham in that way , lifting [you]_135-graham with [my]_667-she hand "_[667-she] raising [that mighty member]_{668-that mighty member} " as [Warren]_136-warren lifts the little cat . "_{[668-that mighty member]} So saying , [she]_667-she departed . CHAPTER III . [THE PLAYMATES]_{669-the playmates} . [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} stayed two days . During [his]_135-graham visit [he]_135-graham could not be prevailed on to go out : [he]_135-graham sat all day long by the fireside , sometimes silent , sometimes receiving and answering [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's chat , which was just of the proper sort for [a man in [his]_135-graham morbid mood]_{670-a man in his morbid mood} - not over - sympathetic , yet not too uncongenial , sensible ; and even with a touch of [the motherly]_{671-the motherly} - [she]_667-she was sufficiently [his]_135-graham senior to be permitted this touch . As to [Paulina]_141-paulina , [the child]_{4206-the child} was at once happy and mute , busy and watchful . [[Her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} frequently lifted [her]_141-paulina to [his]_{643-her father} knee ; [she]_141-paulina would sit there till [she]_141-paulina felt or fancied [he]_{643-her father} grew restless ; then it was - " [Papa]_140-papa , put [me]_141-paulina down ; [I]_141-paulina shall tire [you]_{643-her father} with [my]_141-paulina weight . "_{[141-paulina]} And the mighty burden slid to the rug , and establishing itself on carpet or stool just at " [papa]_4218-papa 's "_{[141-paulina]} feet , the white work - box and the scarlet - speckled handkerchief came into play . This handkerchief , it seems , was intended as a keepsake for " [papa]_4218-papa , "_{[141-paulina]} and must be finished before [his]_{643-her father} departure ; consequently the demand on [the sempstress]_{674-the sempstress} 's industry [she]_667-she accomplished about a score of stitches in half - an - hour was stringent . The evening , by restoring [Graham]_135-graham to the maternal roof [his]_135-graham days were passed at [school]_675-school , brought [us]_676-us an accession of animation - a quality not diminished by the nature of the scenes pretty sure to be enacted between [him]_135-graham and [Miss Paulina]_{145-miss paulina} . A distant and haughty demeanour had been the result of the indignity put upon [her]_{145-miss paulina} the first evening of [his]_135-graham arrival : [her]_{145-miss paulina} usual answer , when [he]_135-graham addressed [her]_{145-miss paulina} , was - " [I]_{145-miss paulina} ca n't attend to [you]_{145-miss paulina} ; [I]_{145-miss paulina} have other things to think about . "_{[145-miss paulina]} Being implored to state what things : " Business . "_[135-graham] [Graham]_135-graham would endeavour to seduce [her]_{145-miss paulina} attention by opening [his]_135-graham desk and displaying its multifarious contents : seals , bright sticks of wax , pen - knives , with a miscellany of engravings - some of them gaily coloured - which [he]_135-graham had amassed from time to time . Nor was this powerful temptation wholly unavailing : [her]_{145-miss paulina} eyes , furtively raised from [her]_{145-miss paulina} work , cast many a peep towards the writing - table , rich in scattered pictures . An etching of [a child playing with a Blenheim spaniel]_{677-a child playing with a blenheim spaniel} happened to flutter to the floor . " Pretty little dog ! "_{[145-miss paulina]} said [she]_{145-miss paulina} , delighted . [Graham]_135-graham prudently took no notice . Ere long , stealing from [her]_{145-miss paulina} corner , [she]_{145-miss paulina} approached to examine the treasure more closely . The dog 's great eyes and long ears , and [the child]_{4206-the child} 's hat and feathers , were irresistible . " Nice picture ! "_{[145-miss paulina]} was [her]_{145-miss paulina} favourable criticism . " Well - [you]_{145-miss paulina} may have it , "_[135-graham] said [Graham]_135-graham . [She]_{145-miss paulina} seemed to hesitate . The wish to possess was strong , but to accept would be a compromise of dignity . No . [She]_{145-miss paulina} put it down and turned away . " [You]_135-graham wo n't have it , then , [Polly]_141-paulina ? "_{[145-miss paulina]} " [I]_{145-miss paulina} would rather not , thank [you]_{145-miss paulina} . "_{[145-miss paulina]} " Shall [I]_{145-miss paulina} tell [you]_{145-miss paulina} what [I]_{145-miss paulina} will do with the picture if [you]_{145-miss paulina} refuse it ? "_{[145-miss paulina]} [She]_{145-miss paulina} half turned to listen . " Cut it into strips for lighting the taper . "_{[145-miss paulina]} " No ! "_{[145-miss paulina]} " But [I]_{145-miss paulina} shall . "_{[145-miss paulina]} " Please - do n't . "_[135-graham] [Graham]_135-graham waxed inexorable on hearing the pleading tone ; [he]_135-graham took the scissors from [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's work - basket . " Here goes ! "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham , making a menacing flourish . " Right through [Fido]_146-fido 's head , and splitting little [Harry]_147-harry 's nose . "_[135-graham] " No ! No ! NO ! "_[135-graham] " Then come to [me]_{145-miss paulina} . Come quickly , or it is done . "_{[145-miss paulina]} [She]_{145-miss paulina} hesitated , lingered , but complied . " Now , will [you]_{145-miss paulina} have it ? "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham asked , as [she]_{145-miss paulina} stood before [him]_135-graham . " Please . "_[135-graham] " But [I]_{145-miss paulina} shall want payment . "_{[145-miss paulina]} " How much ? "_[135-graham] " A kiss . "_[135-graham] " Give the picture first into [my]_{145-miss paulina} hand . "_{[145-miss paulina]} [Polly]_141-paulina , as [she]_141-paulina said this , looked rather faithless in [her]_141-paulina turn . [Graham]_135-graham gave it . [She]_{145-miss paulina} absconded [a debtor]_{680-a debtor} , darted to [[her]_{145-miss paulina} father]_{643-her father} , and took refuge on [his]_{643-her father} knee . [Graham]_135-graham rose in mimic wrath and followed . [She]_{145-miss paulina} buried [her]_{145-miss paulina} face in [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} 's waistcoat . " [Papa]_140-papa - [papa]_4218-papa - send [him]_135-graham away ! "_{[145-miss paulina]} " [I]_135-graham 'll not be sent away , "_[135-graham] said [Graham]_135-graham . With face still averted , [she]_{145-miss paulina} held out [her]_{145-miss paulina} hand to keep [him]_135-graham off " Then , [I]_135-graham shall kiss the hand , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham ; but that moment it became a miniature fist , and dealt [him]_135-graham payment in a small coin that was not kisses . [Graham]_135-graham - not failing in [his]_135-graham way to be as wily as [[his]_135-graham little playmate]_{682-his little playmate} - retreated apparently quite discomfited ; [he]_135-graham flung [himself]_135-graham on a sofa , and resting [his]_135-graham head against the cushion , lay like [one in pain]_{683-one in pain} . [Polly]_141-paulina , finding [him]_135-graham silent , presently peeped at [him]_135-graham . [His]_135-graham eyes and face were covered with [his]_135-graham hands . [She]_141-paulina turned on [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} 's knee , and gazed at [her]_141-paulina foe anxiously and long . [Graham]_135-graham groaned . " [Papa]_140-papa , what is the matter ? "_{[141-paulina]} [she]_141-paulina whispered . " [You]_140-papa had better ask [him]_135-graham , [Polly]_141-paulina . "_{[141-paulina]} " Is [he]_135-graham hurt ? "_{[141-paulina]} groan second . " [He]_135-graham makes a noise as if [he]_135-graham were , "_{[134-mr. home]} said [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} . " [Mother]_4258-mother , "_[135-graham] suggested [Graham]_135-graham , feebly , " [I]_135-graham think [you]_4258-mother had better send for [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} . Oh [my]_135-graham eye ! "_[135-graham] renewed silence , broken only by sighs from [Graham]_135-graham . " If [I]_135-graham were to become blind - - ? "_[135-graham] suggested this last . [[His]_135-graham chastiser]_{685-his chastiser} could not bear the suggestion . [She]_141-paulina was beside [him]_135-graham directly . " Let [me]_141-paulina see [your]_135-graham eye : [I]_141-paulina did not mean to touch it , only [your]_135-graham mouth ; and [I]_141-paulina did not think [I]_141-paulina hit so very hard . "_{[141-paulina]} Silence answered [her]_141-paulina . [Her]_141-paulina features worked , - " [I]_141-paulina am sorry ; [I]_141-paulina am sorry ! "_{[141-paulina]} Then succeeded emotion , faltering ; weeping . " Have done trying [that child]_{617-that child} , [Graham]_135-graham , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . " It is all nonsense , [[my]_{134-mr. home} pet]_{4290-my pet} , "_{[134-mr. home]} cried [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} . And [Graham]_135-graham once more snatched [her]_141-paulina aloft , and [she]_141-paulina again punished [him]_135-graham ; and while [she]_141-paulina pulled [his]_135-graham lion 's locks , termed [him]_135-graham - " [The naughtiest , rudest , worst , untruest person that ever]_{4291-the naughtiest , rudest , worst , untruest person that ever} was . "_{[141-paulina]} On the morning of [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} 's departure , [he]_{134-mr. home} and [[his]_{134-mr. home} daughter]_{686-his daughter} had some conversation in a window - recess by [themselves]_{687-themselves} ; [I]_0-i heard part of it . " Could n't [I]_141-paulina pack [my]_141-paulina box and go with [you]_{134-mr. home} , [papa]_4218-papa ? "_{[141-paulina]} [she]_141-paulina whispered earnestly . [He]_{134-mr. home} shook [his]_{134-mr. home} head . " Should [I]_{134-mr. home} be a trouble to [you]_141-paulina ? "_{[134-mr. home]} " Yes , [Polly]_141-paulina . "_{[134-mr. home]} " Because [I]_{134-mr. home} am little ? "_{[134-mr. home]} " Because [you]_{134-mr. home} are little and tender . It is only great , [strong people that should travel]_{4293-strong people that should travel} . But do n't look sad , [[my]_{134-mr. home} little girl]_{4294-my little girl} ; it breaks [my]_{134-mr. home} heart . [Papa]_140-papa , will soon come back to [[his]_140-papa Polly]_{4295-his polly} . "_{[134-mr. home]} " Indeed , indeed , [I]_{134-mr. home} am not sad , scarcely at all . "_{[134-mr. home]} " [Polly]_141-paulina would be sorry to give [papa]_4218-papa pain ; would [she]_141-paulina not ? "_{[134-mr. home]} " Sorrier than sorry . "_{[134-mr. home]} " Then [Polly]_141-paulina must be cheerful : not cry at parting ; not fret afterwards . [She]_141-paulina must look forward to meeting again , and try to be happy meanwhile . Can [she]_141-paulina do this ? "_{[134-mr. home]} " [She]_141-paulina will try . "_{[134-mr. home]} " [I]_{134-mr. home} see [she]_141-paulina will . Farewell , then . It is time to go . "_{[134-mr. home]} " Now ? - just now ? "_{[134-mr. home]} Just now . " [She]_141-paulina held up quivering lips . [[Her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} sobbed , but [she]_141-paulina , [I]_140-papa remarked , did not . Having put [her]_141-paulina down , [he]_{643-her father} shook hands with [the rest present]_{4298-the rest present} , and departed . When [the street]_{623-the street} - door closed , [she]_141-paulina dropped on [her]_141-paulina knees at a chair with a cry - "_[140-papa] [Papa]_140-papa ! " It was low and long ; a sort of "_[140-papa] Why hast [thou]_688-i forsaken [me]_0-i ? " During an ensuing space of some minutes , [I]_688-i perceived [she]_141-paulina endured agony . [She]_141-paulina went through , in that brief interval of [her]_141-paulina infant life , emotions such as some never feel ; it was in [her]_141-paulina constitution : [she]_141-paulina would have more of such instants if [she]_141-paulina lived . [Nobody]_4256-nobody spoke . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , being [a mother]_{4301-a mother} , shed a tear or two . [Graham]_135-graham , who was writing , lifted up [his]_135-graham eyes and gazed at [her]_141-paulina . [I]_688-i , [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy , was calm . [The little creature]_{4302-the little creature} , thus left unharassed , did for [herself]_141-paulina what [none other]_{4303-none other} could do - contended with an intolerable feeling ; and , ere long , in some degree , repressed it . That day [she]_141-paulina would accept solace from none ; nor the next day : [she]_141-paulina grew more passive afterwards . On the third evening , as [she]_141-paulina sat on the floor , worn and quiet , [Graham]_135-graham , coming in , took [her]_141-paulina up gently , without a word . [She]_141-paulina did not resist : [she]_141-paulina rather nestled in [his]_135-graham arms , as if weary . When [he]_135-graham sat down , [she]_141-paulina laid [her]_141-paulina head against [him]_135-graham ; in a few minutes [she]_141-paulina slept ; [he]_135-graham carried [her]_141-paulina [upstairs]_{4304-upstairs} to bed . [I]_688-i was not surprised that , the next morning , the first thing [she]_141-paulina demanded was , "_[688-i] Where is [Mr. Graham]_135-graham ? " It happened that [Graham]_135-graham was not coming to the breakfast - table ; [he]_135-graham had some exercises to write for that morning 's class , and had requested [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} to send a cup of tea into [the study]_{4306-the study} . [Polly]_141-paulina volunteered to carry it : [she]_141-paulina must be busy about something , look after [somebody]_{4307-somebody} . The cup was entrusted to [her]_141-paulina ; for , if restless , [she]_141-paulina was also careful . As [the study]_{4306-the study} was opposite [the breakfast - room]_{4229-the breakfast - room} , the doors facing across [the passage]_{4310-the passage} , [my]_135-graham eye followed [her]_141-paulina . "_[135-graham] What are [you]_135-graham doing ? " [she]_141-paulina asked , pausing on the threshold . "_[135-graham] Writing , " said [Graham]_135-graham . "_[135-graham] Why do n't [you]_135-graham come to take breakfast with [[your]_135-graham mamma]_{689-your mamma} ? " "_[135-graham] Too busy . " "_[135-graham] Do [you]_135-graham want any breakfast ? " "_[135-graham] Of course . " "_[135-graham] There , then . " And [she]_141-paulina deposited the cup on the carpet , like [a jailor]_{4311-a jailor} putting [a prisoner]_{4312-a prisoner} 's pitcher of water through [his]_{4312-a prisoner} cell - door , and retreated . Presently [she]_141-paulina returned . "_[135-graham] What will [you]_135-graham have besides tea - what to eat ? " "_[135-graham] Anything good . Bring [me]_0-i something particularly nice ; that 's [a kind little woman]_{690-a kind little woman} . " [She]_141-paulina came back to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . "_{[690-a kind little woman]} Please , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am , send [[your]_4221-ma'am boy]_{692-your boy} something good . " "_[135-graham] [You]_135-graham shall choose for [him]_{692-your boy} , [Polly]_141-paulina ; what shall [[my]_0-i boy]_{693-my boy} have ? " [She]_141-paulina selected a portion of whatever was best on the table ; and , ere long , came back with a whispered request for some marmalade , which was not there . Having got it , however , for [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} refused [the pair]_{4313-the pair} nothing , [Graham]_135-graham was shortly after heard lauding [her]_141-paulina to the skies ; promising that , when [he]_135-graham had [a house of [his]_135-graham own]_{4314-a house of his own} , [she]_141-paulina should be [[his]_135-graham housekeeper]_{4315-his housekeeper} , and perhaps - if [she]_141-paulina showed any culinary genius - [[his]_135-graham cook]_{4316-his cook} ; and , as [she]_141-paulina did not return , and [I]_694-you went to look after [her]_141-paulina , [I]_694-you found [Graham]_135-graham and [her]_141-paulina breakfasting tete - a - tete - [she]_141-paulina standing at [his]_135-graham elbow , and sharing [his]_135-graham fare : excepting the marmalade , which [she]_141-paulina delicately refused to touch , lest , [I]_694-you suppose , it should appear that [she]_141-paulina had procured it as much on [her]_141-paulina own account as [his]_135-graham . [She]_141-paulina constantly evinced these nice perceptions and delicate instincts . The league of acquaintanceship thus struck up was not hastily dissolved ; on the contrary , it appeared that time and circumstances served rather to cement than loosen it . Ill - assimilated as [the two]_{4317-the two} were in age , sex , pursuits , c. , [they]_{4317-the two} somehow found a great deal to say to [each other]_{4318-each other} . As to [Paulina]_141-paulina , [I]_694-you observed that [her]_141-paulina little character never properly came out , except with [young Bretton]_135-graham . As [she]_141-paulina got settled , and accustomed to [the house]_{518-the house} , [she]_141-paulina proved tractable enough with [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ; but [she]_141-paulina would sit on a stool at [that lady]_{577-that lady} 's feet all day long , learning [her]_141-paulina task , or sewing , or drawing figures with a pencil on a slate , and never kindling once to originality , or showing a single gleam of the peculiarities of [her]_141-paulina nature . [I]_694-you ceased to watch [her]_141-paulina under such circumstances : [she]_141-paulina was not interesting . But the moment [Graham]_135-graham 's knock sounded of an evening , a change occurred ; [she]_141-paulina was instantly at the head of the staircase . Usually [her]_141-paulina welcome was a reprimand or a threat . "_[694-you] [You]_694-you have not wiped [your]_694-you shoes properly on the mat . [I]_0-i shall tell [[your]_694-you mamma]_{689-your mamma} . " "_[0-i] [Little busybody]_{696-little busybody} ! Are [you]_694-you there ? " "_[694-you] Yes - and [you]_694-you ca n't reach [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i am higher up than [you]_694-you " peeping between the rails of the banister ; [she]_141-paulina could not look over them . "_{[141-paulina]} [Polly]_141-paulina ! " "_{[141-paulina]} [[My]_0-i dear boy]_{697-my dear boy} ! " such was one of [her]_141-paulina terms for [him]_{697-my dear boy} , adopted in imitation of [[his]_{697-my dear boy} mother]_{534-his mother} . "_{[141-paulina]} [I]_0-i am fit to faint with fatigue , " declared [Graham]_135-graham , leaning against the passage - wall in seeming exhaustion . "_{[148-dr. digby]} [Dr. Digby]_{148-dr. digby} " [the headmaster]_{4322-the headmaster} "_{[148-dr. digby]} has quite knocked [me]_0-i up with overwork . Just come down and help [me]_0-i to carry up [my]_0-i books . " "_{[148-dr. digby]} Ah ! [you]_694-you 're cunning ! " "_{[141-paulina]} Not at all , [Polly]_141-paulina - it is positive fact . [I]_0-i 'm as weak as a rush . Come down . " "_[694-you] [Your]_694-you eyes are quiet like the cat 's , but [you]_694-you 'll spring . " "_[694-you] Spring ? Nothing of the kind : it is n't in [me]_0-i . Come down . " "_[0-i] Perhaps [I]_0-i may - if [you]_694-you 'll promise not to touch - not to snatch [me]_0-i up , and not to whirl [me]_0-i round . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i ? [I]_0-i could n't do it ! " sinking into a chair . "_[0-i] Then put the books down on the first step , and go three yards off " This being done , [she]_141-paulina descended warily , and not taking [her]_141-paulina eyes from [the feeble Graham]_135-graham . Of course [her]_141-paulina approach always galvanized [him]_{697-my dear boy} to new and spasmodic life : the game of romps was sure to be exacted . Sometimes [she]_141-paulina would be angry ; sometimes the matter was allowed to pass smoothly , and [we]_4323-we could hear [her]_141-paulina say as [she]_141-paulina led [him]_{697-my dear boy} up - [stairs]_593-stairs : "_[0-i] Now , [[my]_0-i dear boy]_{697-my dear boy} , come and take [your]_{697-my dear boy} tea - [I]_0-i am sure [you]_{697-my dear boy} must want something . " It was sufficiently comical to observe [her]_141-paulina as [she]_141-paulina sat beside [Graham]_135-graham , while [he]_{697-my dear boy} took that meal . In [his]_{697-my dear boy} absence [she]_141-paulina was [a still personage]_{4325-a still personage} , but with [him]_{697-my dear boy} the most officious , fidgety little body possible . [I]_{697-my dear boy} often wished [she]_141-paulina would mind [herself]_141-paulina and be tranquil ; but no - [herself]_141-paulina was forgotten in [him]_{697-my dear boy} : [he]_{697-my dear boy} could not be sufficiently well waited on , nor carefully enough looked after ; [he]_{697-my dear boy} was more than [the Grand Turk]_{4326-the grand turk} in [her]_141-paulina estimation . [She]_141-paulina would gradually assemble the various plates before [him]_{697-my dear boy} , and , when one would suppose all [he]_{697-my dear boy} could possibly desire was within [his]_{697-my dear boy} reach , [she]_141-paulina would find out something else : "_{[697-my dear boy]} [Ma'am]_4221-ma'am , " [she]_141-paulina would whisper to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , - "_{[697-my dear boy]} perhaps [[your]_4221-ma'am son]_{700-your son} would like a little cake - sweet cake , [you]_4221-ma'am know - there is some in there " pointing to the sideboard cupboard . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , as a rule , disapproved of sweet cake at tea , but still the request was urged , - "_[4221-ma'am] One little piece - only for [him]_{700-your son} - as [he]_{700-your son} goes to [school]_675-school : [girls]_702-girls - such as [me]_0-i and [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy - do n't need treats , but [he]_{700-your son} would like it . " [Graham]_135-graham did like it very well , and almost always got it . To do [him]_135-graham justice , [he]_135-graham would have shared [his]_135-graham prize with [her]_141-paulina to whom [he]_135-graham owed it ; but that was never allowed : to insist , was to ruffle [her]_141-paulina for the evening . To stand by [his]_135-graham knee , and monopolize [his]_135-graham talk and notice , was the reward [she]_141-paulina wanted - not a share of the cake . With curious readiness did [she]_141-paulina adapt [herself]_141-paulina to such themes as interested [him]_135-graham . [One]_607-one would have thought [the child]_{4206-the child} had no mind or life of [her]_{4206-the child} own , but must necessarily live , move , and have [her]_{4206-the child} being in another : now that [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} was taken from [her]_141-paulina , [she]_141-paulina nestled to [Graham]_135-graham , and seemed to feel by [his]_135-graham feelings : to exist in [his]_135-graham existence . [She]_141-paulina learned the names of all [[his]_135-graham schoolfellows]_{4330-his schoolfellows} in a trice : [she]_141-paulina got by heart [their]_{4330-his schoolfellows} characters as given from [his]_135-graham lips : a single description of [an individual]_{4331-an individual} seemed to suffice . [She]_141-paulina never forgot , or confused identities : [she]_141-paulina would talk with [him]_135-graham the whole evening about people [she]_141-paulina had never seen , and appear completely to realise [their]_{4330-his schoolfellows} aspect , manners , and dispositions . Some [she]_141-paulina learned to mimic : [an under - master]_{4332-an under - master} , who was an aversion of [young Bretton]_135-graham 's , had , it seems , some peculiarities , which [she]_141-paulina caught up in a moment from [Graham]_135-graham 's representation , and rehearsed for [his]_135-graham amusement ; this , however , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} disapproved and forbade . [The pair]_{4313-the pair} seldom quarrelled ; yet once a rupture occurred , in which [her]_141-paulina feelings received a severe shock . One day [Graham]_135-graham , on the occasion of [his]_135-graham birthday , had [some friends]_{4334-some friends} - [lads of [his]_135-graham own age]_{4335-lads of his own age} - to dine with [him]_135-graham . [Paulina]_141-paulina took much interest in the coming of [these friends]_{4336-these friends} ; [she]_141-paulina had frequently heard of [them]_{4336-these friends} ; [they]_{4336-these friends} were amongst those of whom [Graham]_135-graham oftenest spoke . After dinner , [the young gentlemen]_{4337-the young gentlemen} were left by [themselves]_{4337-the young gentlemen} in [the dining - room]_{4338-the dining - room} , where [they]_{4337-the young gentlemen} soon became very merry and made a good deal of noise . Chancing to pass through [the hall]_{573-the hall} , [I]_703-her found [Paulina]_141-paulina sitting alone on the lowest step of the staircase , [her]_141-paulina eyes fixed on the glossy panels of the dining - room door , where the reflection of the hall - lamp was shining ; [her]_141-paulina little brow knit in anxious , meditation . "_[703-her] What are [you]_703-her thinking about , [Polly]_141-paulina ? " "_[703-her] Nothing particular ; only [I]_0-i wish that door was clear glass - that [I]_0-i might see through [it]_704-it . [The boys]_{705-the boys} seem very cheerful , and [I]_0-i want to go to [them]_{705-the boys} : [I]_0-i want to be with [Graham]_135-graham , and watch [[his]_135-graham friends]_{706-his friends} . " "_[703-her] What hinders [you]_703-her from going ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i feel afraid : but may [I]_0-i try , do [you]_703-her think ? May [I]_0-i knock at the door , and ask to be let in ? " [I]_0-i thought perhaps [they]_{705-the boys} might not object to have [her]_703-her as [a playmate]_{4340-a playmate} , and therefore encouraged the attempt . [She]_703-her knocked - too faintly at first to be heard , but on a second essay the door unclosed ; [Graham]_135-graham 's head appeared ; [he]_135-graham looked in high spirits , but impatient . "_[0-i] What do [you]_703-her want , [[you]_703-her little monkey]_{707-you little monkey} ? " "_[703-her] To come to [you]_703-her . " "_[703-her] Do [you]_703-her indeed ? As if [I]_0-i would be troubled with [you]_703-her ! Away to [mamma]_4272-mamma and [Mistress Snowe]_142-lucy , and tell [them]_709-them to put [you]_703-her to bed . " The auburn head and bright flushed face vanished , - the door shut peremptorily . [She]_703-her was stunned . "_[710-he] Why does [he]_710-he speak so ? [He]_710-he never spoke so before , " [she]_703-her said in consternation . "_[710-he] What have [I]_0-i done ? " "_[0-i] Nothing , [Polly]_141-paulina ; but [Graham]_135-graham is busy with [[his]_135-graham school - friends]_{711-his school - friends} . " "_[710-he] And [he]_710-he likes [them]_{711-his school - friends} better than [me]_0-i ! [He]_710-he turns [me]_0-i away now [they]_{711-his school - friends} are here ! " [I]_710-he had some thoughts of consoling [her]_703-her , and of improving the occasion by inculcating some of those maxims of philosophy whereof [I]_710-he had ever a tolerable stock ready for application . [She]_703-her stopped [me]_710-he , however , by putting [her]_703-her fingers in [her]_703-her ears at the first words [I]_710-he uttered , and then lying down on the mat with [her]_703-her face against the flags ; nor could either [Warren]_136-warren or [the cook]_{4341-the cook} root [her]_703-her from that position : [she]_703-her was allowed to lie , therefore , till [she]_703-her chose to rise of [her]_703-her own accord . [Graham]_135-graham forgot [his]_135-graham impatience the same evening , and would have accosted [her]_703-her as usual when [[his]_135-graham friends]_{706-his friends} were gone , but [she]_703-her wrenched [herself]_703-her from [his]_135-graham hand ; [her]_703-her eye quite flashed ; [she]_703-her would not bid [him]_135-graham good - night ; [she]_703-her would not look in [his]_135-graham face . The next day [he]_135-graham treated [her]_703-her with indifference , and [she]_703-her grew like a bit of marble . The day after , [he]_135-graham teased [her]_703-her to know what was the matter ; [her]_703-her lips would not unclose . Of course [he]_135-graham could not feel real anger on [his]_135-graham side : the match was too unequal in every way ; [he]_135-graham tried soothing and coaxing . "_[710-he] Why was [she]_712-he so angry ? What had [he]_712-he done ? " By - and - by tears answered [him]_135-graham ; [he]_135-graham petted [her]_703-her , and [they]_4343-they were [friends]_533-friends . But [she]_703-her was [one on whom such incidents were not lost]_{4345-one on whom such incidents were not lost} : [I]_712-he remarked that never after this rebuff did [she]_703-her seek [him]_135-graham , or follow [him]_135-graham , or in any way solicit [his]_135-graham notice . [I]_712-he told [her]_703-her once to carry a book or some other article to [Graham]_135-graham when [he]_135-graham was shut up in [[his]_135-graham study]_{4346-his study} . "_[712-he] [I]_0-i shall wait till [he]_712-he comes out , " said [she]_703-her , proudly ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n't choose to give [him]_712-he the trouble of rising to open the door . " [Young Bretton]_{149-young bretton} had a favourite pony on which [he]_135-graham often rode out ; from the window [she]_703-her always watched [his]_135-graham departure and return . It was [her]_703-her ambition to be permitted to have a ride round [the courtyard]_{4347-the courtyard} on this pony ; but far be it from [her]_703-her to ask such a favour . One day [she]_703-her descended to [the yard]_{4348-the yard} to watch [him]_135-graham dismount ; as [she]_703-her leaned against the gate , the longing wish for the indulgence of a ride glittered in [her]_703-her eye . "_[0-i] Come , [Polly]_141-paulina , will [you]_141-paulina have a canter ? " asked [Graham]_135-graham , half carelessly . [I]_141-paulina suppose [she]_141-paulina thought [he]_135-graham was too careless . "_{[141-paulina]} No , thank [you]_712-he , " said [she]_141-paulina , turning away with the utmost coolness . "_[712-he] [You]_141-paulina 'd better , " pursued [he]_135-graham . "_{[141-paulina]} [You]_141-paulina will like it , [I]_0-i am sure . " "_[0-i] Do n't think [I]_0-i should care a fig about it , " was the response . "_[0-i] That is not true . [You]_141-paulina told [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy [you]_141-paulina longed to have a ride . " "_{[141-paulina]} [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy is a tatter -box , " [I]_150-mamma heard [her]_141-paulina say [her]_141-paulina imperfect articulation was the least precocious thing [she]_141-paulina had about [her]_141-paulina ; and with this ; [she]_141-paulina walked into [the house]_{518-the house} . [Graham]_135-graham , coming in soon after , observed to [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} , - "_[150-mamma] [Mamma]_150-mamma , [I]_0-i believe that creature is [a changeling]_{713-a changeling} : [she]_142-lucy is a perfect cabinet of oddities ; but [I]_0-i should be dull without [her]_142-lucy : [she]_142-lucy amuses [me]_0-i a great deal more than [you]_141-paulina or [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy . " "_[142-lucy] [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , " said [Paulina]_141-paulina to [me]_142-lucy [she]_141-paulina had now got into the habit of occasionally chatting with [me]_142-lucy when [we]_4351-we were alone in [[our]_4351-we room]_{4352-our room} at night , "_[142-lucy] do [you]_142-lucy know on what day in the week [I]_0-i like [Graham]_135-graham best ? " "_[0-i] How can [I]_0-i possibly know anything so strange ? Is there one day out of the seven when [he]_135-graham is otherwise than on the other six ? " "_[142-lucy] To be sure ! Ca n't [you]_142-lucy see ? Do n't [you]_142-lucy know ? [I]_0-i find [him]_135-graham the most excellent on a Sunday ; then [we]_714-we have [him]_135-graham the whole day , and [he]_135-graham is quiet , and , in the evening , so kind . " This observation was not altogether groundless : going to [church]_4353-church , c. , kept [Graham]_135-graham quiet on the Sunday , and the evening [he]_135-graham generally dedicated to a serene , though rather indolent sort of enjoyment by the parlour fireside . [He]_135-graham would take possession of the couch , and then [he]_135-graham would call [Polly]_141-paulina . [Graham]_135-graham was [a boy not quite as [other boys]_{4355-other boys}]_{4354-a boy not quite as other boys} are ; all [his]_135-graham delight did not lie in action : [he]_135-graham was capable of some intervals of contemplation ; [he]_135-graham could take a pleasure too in reading , nor was [his]_135-graham selection of books wholly indiscriminate : there were glimmerings of characteristic preference , and even of instinctive taste in the choice . [He]_135-graham rarely , it is true , remarked on what [he]_135-graham read , but [I]_135-graham have seen [him]_135-graham sit and think of it . [Polly]_141-paulina , being near [him]_135-graham , kneeling on a little cushion or the carpet , a conversation would begin in murmurs , not inaudible , though subdued . [I]_135-graham caught a snatch of [their]_4356-their tenor now and then ; and , in truth , some influence better and finer than that of every day , seemed to soothe [Graham]_135-graham at such times into no ungentle mood . "_[135-graham] Have [you]_715-you learned any hymns this week , [Polly]_141-paulina ? " "_{[141-paulina]} [I]_0-i have learned a very pretty one , four verses long . Shall [I]_0-i say it ? " "_[0-i] Speak nicely , then : do n't be in a hurry . " The hymn being rehearsed , or rather half - chanted , in a little singing voice , [Graham]_135-graham would take exceptions at the manner , and proceed to give a lesson in recitation . [She]_141-paulina was quick in learning , apt in imitating ; and , besides , [her]_141-paulina pleasure was to please [Graham]_135-graham : [she]_141-paulina proved [a ready scholar]_{4357-a ready scholar} . To the hymn would succeed some reading - perhaps a chapter in the Bible ; correction was seldom required here , for [the child]_{4206-the child} could read any simple narrative chapter very well ; and , when the subject was such as [she]_141-paulina could understand and take an interest in , [her]_141-paulina expression and emphasis were something remarkable . [Joseph]_151-joseph cast into the pit ; the calling of [Samuel]_152-samuel ; [Daniel]_153-daniel in [the lions ' den]_{4359-the lions ' den} ; - these were favourite passages : of the first especially [she]_141-paulina seemed perfectly to feel the pathos . "_[0-i] [Poor [Jacob]_154-jacob]_{716-poor jacob} ! " [she]_141-paulina would sometimes say , with quivering lips . "_{[716-poor jacob]} How [he]_154-jacob loved [[his]_154-jacob son]_{717-his son} [Joseph]_151-joseph ! As much , " [she]_141-paulina once added - "_[0-i] as much , [Graham]_135-graham , as [I]_0-i love [you]_135-graham : if [you]_135-graham were to die " and [she]_141-paulina re - opened the book , sought the verse , and read , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should refuse to be comforted , and go down into the grave to [you]_135-graham mourning . " With these words [she]_141-paulina gathered [Graham]_135-graham in [her]_141-paulina little arms , drawing [his]_135-graham long - tressed head towards [her]_141-paulina . The action , [I]_0-i remember , struck [me]_0-i as strangely rash ; exciting the feeling one might experience on seeing an animal dangerous by nature , and but half - tamed by art , too heedlessly fondled . Not that [I]_0-i feared [Graham]_135-graham would hurt , or very roughly check [her]_141-paulina ; but [I]_0-i thought [she]_141-paulina ran risk of incurring such a careless , impatient repulse , as would be worse almost to [her]_141-paulina than a blow . On : the whole , however , these demonstrations were borne passively : sometimes even a sort of complacent wonder at [her]_141-paulina earnest partiality would smile not unkindly in [his]_135-graham eyes . Once [he]_135-graham said : - "_[0-i] [You]_718-you like [me]_0-i almost as well as if [you]_718-you were [[my]_0-i little sister]_{719-my little sister} , [Polly]_141-paulina . " "_{[141-paulina]} Oh ! [I]_0-i do like [you]_0-i , " said [she]_141-paulina ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do like [you]_0-i very much . " [I]_0-i was not long allowed the amusement of this study of character . [She]_141-paulina had scarcely been at [Bretton]_135-graham two months , when a letter came from [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , signifying that [he]_135-graham was now settled amongst [his]_135-graham maternal kinsfolk on [the Continent]_{18-the continent} ; that , as [England]_19-england was become wholly distasteful to [him]_135-graham , [he]_135-graham had no thoughts of returning hither , perhaps , for years ; and that [he]_135-graham wished [[his]_135-graham little girl]_{558-his little girl} to join [him]_135-graham immediately . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder how [she]_720-she will take this news ? " said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , when [she]_141-paulina had read the letter . [I]_720-she wondered , too , and [I]_720-she took upon [myself]_720-she to communicate it . Repairing to [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} - in which [calm and decorated apartment]_{4362-calm and decorated apartment} [she]_720-she was fond of being alone , and where [she]_720-she could be implicitly trusted , for [she]_720-she fingered nothing , or rather soiled nothing [she]_720-she fingered - [I]_720-she found [her]_720-she seated , like a little Odalisque , on a couch , half shaded by the drooping draperies of the window near . [She]_720-she seemed happy ; all [her]_720-she appliances for occupation were about [her]_720-she ; the white wood workbox , a shred or two of muslin , an end or two of ribbon collected for conversion into doll - millinery . The doll , duly night- capped and night - gowned , lay in its cradle ; [she]_720-she was rocking [it]_155-candace to sleep , with an air of the most perfect faith in its possession of sentient and somnolent faculties ; [her]_720-she eyes , at the same time , being engaged with a picture - book , which lay open on [her]_720-she lap . "_[720-she] [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , " said [she]_720-she in a whisper , "_[142-lucy] this is a wonderful book . [Candace]_155-candace " the doll , christened by [Graham]_135-graham ; for , indeed , its begrimed complexion gave [it]_155-candace much of an Ethiopian aspect - "_{[155-candace]} [Candace]_155-candace is asleep now , and [I]_0-i may tell [you]_721-you about it ; only [we]_722-we must both speak low , lest [she]_155-candace should waken . This book was given [me]_0-i by [Graham]_135-graham ; it tells about [distant countries]_{723-distant countries} , a long , long way from [England]_19-england , which [no traveller]_{724-no traveller} can reach without sailing thousands of miles over [the sea]_{725-the sea} . [Wild men]_{726-wild men} live in [these countries]_{727-these countries} , [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , who wear clothes different from [ours]_722-we : indeed , some of [them]_{726-wild men} wear scarcely any clothes , for the sake of being cool , [you]_721-you know ; for [they]_{726-wild men} have very hot weather . Here is a picture of thousands gathered in a desolate place - [a plain , spread with sand]_{728-a plain , spread with sand} - round [a man in black]_{729-a man in black} , - [a good , good Englishman]_{730-a good , good englishman} - [a missionary]_{731-a missionary} , who is preaching to [them]_{726-wild men} under a palm - tree . " [She]_142-lucy showed a little coloured cut to that effect . "_{[731-a missionary]} And here are pictures " [she]_142-lucy went on "_{[731-a missionary]} more stranger " grammar was occasionally forgotten "_{[731-a missionary]} than that . There is [the wonderful Great Wall of [China]_20-china]_{732-the wonderful great wall of china} ; here is [a Chinese lady]_{733-a chinese lady} , with a foot littler than [mine]_734-mine . There is a wild horse of [Tartary]_21-tartary ; and here , most strange of all - is [a land of ice and snow]_{735-a land of ice and snow} , without [green fields , woods]_{736-green fields , woods} , or [gardens]_737-gardens . In [this land]_{738-this land} , [they]_739-they found some mammoth bones : there are no mammoths now . [You]_721-you do n't know what it was ; but [I]_0-i can tell [you]_721-you , because [Graham]_135-graham told [me]_0-i . A mighty , goblin creature , as high as [this room]_{740-this room} , and as long as [the hall]_{573-the hall} ; but not a fierce , flesh- eating thing , [Graham]_135-graham thinks . [He]_135-graham believes , if [I]_0-i met one in [a forest]_{742-a forest} , it would not kill [me]_0-i , unless [I]_0-i came quite in its way ; when it would trample [me]_0-i down amongst the bushes , as [I]_0-i might tread on a grasshopper in a hayfield without knowing it . " Thus [she]_141-paulina rambled on . "_{[141-paulina]} [Polly]_141-paulina , " [I]_141-paulina interrupted , ' should [you]_141-paulina like to travel ? "_{[141-paulina]} " Not just yet , "_{[141-paulina]} was the prudent answer ; " but perhaps in twenty years , when [I]_141-paulina am grown [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , as tall as [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , [I]_141-paulina may travel with [Graham]_135-graham . [We]_4364-we intend going to [Switzerland]_{22-switzerland} , and climbing [Mount Blanck]_{23-mount blanck} ; and some day [we]_4364-we shall sail over to [South America]_{24-south america} , and walk to [the top of [Kim - kim - borazo]_{156-kim - kim - borazo}]_{4365-the top of kim - kim - borazo} . "_{[141-paulina]} " But how would [you]_141-paulina like to travel now , if [[your]_141-paulina papa]_{4366-your papa} was with [you]_141-paulina ? "_{[141-paulina]} [Her]_141-paulina reply - not given till after a pause - evinced one of those unexpected turns of temper peculiar to [her]_141-paulina . " Where is the good of talking in that silly way ? "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina . " Why do [you]_141-paulina mention [papa]_4218-papa ? What is [papa]_4218-papa to [you]_141-paulina ? [I]_141-paulina was just beginning to be happy , and not think about [him]_4218-papa so much ; and there it will be all to do over again ! "_{[141-paulina]} [Her]_141-paulina lip trembled . [I]_0-i hastened to disclose the fact of a letter having been received , and to mention the directions given that [she]_141-paulina and [Harriet]_137-harriet should immediately rejoin [this dear papa]_{743-this dear papa} . " Now , [Polly]_141-paulina , are [you]_141-paulina not glad ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i added . [She]_141-paulina made no answer . [She]_141-paulina dropped [her]_141-paulina book and ceased to rock [her]_141-paulina doll ; [she]_141-paulina gazed at [me]_0-i with gravity and earnestness . " Shall not [you]_0-i like to go to [papa]_4218-papa ? "_{[141-paulina]} " Of course , "_{[141-paulina]} [she]_141-paulina said at last in that trenchant manner [she]_141-paulina usually employed in speaking to [me]_0-i ; and which was quite different from that [she]_141-paulina used with [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , and different again from the one dedicated to [Graham]_135-graham . [I]_0-i wished to ascertain more of what [she]_141-paulina thought but no : [she]_141-paulina would converse no more . Hastening to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , [she]_141-paulina questioned [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} , and received the confirmation of [my]_0-i news . The weight and importance of these tidings kept [her]_141-paulina perfectly serious the whole day . In the evening , at the moment [Graham]_135-graham 's entrance was heard below , [I]_0-i found [her]_141-paulina at [my]_0-i side . [She]_141-paulina began to arrange a locket - ribbon about [my]_0-i neck , [she]_141-paulina displaced and replaced the comb in [my]_0-i hair ; while thus busied , [Graham]_135-graham entered . " Tell [him]_135-graham by - and - by , "_{[141-paulina]} [she]_141-paulina whispered ; " tell [him]_135-graham [I]_141-paulina am going . "_{[141-paulina]} In the course of tea - time [I]_0-i made the desired communication . [Graham]_135-graham , it chanced , was at that time greatly preoccupied about some school - prize , for which [he]_135-graham was competing . The news had to be told twice before it took proper hold of [his]_135-graham attention , and even then [he]_135-graham dwelt on it but momently . " [Polly]_141-paulina going ? What a pity ! [Dear little Mousie]_{157-dear little mousie} , [I]_135-graham shall be sorry to lose [her]_141-paulina : [she]_141-paulina must come to [us]_4370-us again , [mamma]_4272-mamma . "_[135-graham] And hastily swallowing [his]_135-graham tea , [he]_135-graham took a candle and a small table to [himself]_135-graham and [his]_135-graham books , and was soon buried in study . " [Little Mousie]_{157-dear little mousie} "_[744-her] crept to [his]_135-graham side , and lay down on the carpet at [his]_135-graham feet , [her]_744-her face to the floor ; mute and motionless [she]_744-her kept that post and position till bed - time . Once [I]_0-i saw [Graham]_135-graham - wholly unconscious of [her]_744-her proximity - push [her]_744-her with [his]_135-graham restless foot . [She]_744-her receded an inch or two . A minute after one little hand stole out from beneath [her]_744-her face , to which it had been pressed , and softly caressed the heedless foot . When summoned by [[her]_744-her nurse]_{596-her nurse} [she]_744-her rose and departed very obediently , having bid [us]_746-us all a subdued good - night . [I]_0-i will not say that [I]_0-i dreaded going to bed , an hour later ; yet [I]_0-i certainly went with an unquiet anticipation that [I]_0-i should find [that child]_{617-that child} in no peaceful sleep . The forewarning of [my]_0-i instinct was but fulfilled , when [I]_0-i discovered [her]_744-her , all cold and vigilant , perched like a white bird on the outside of the bed . [I]_0-i scarcely knew how to accost [her]_744-her ; [she]_744-her was not to be managed like [another child]_{748-another child} . [She]_744-her , however , accosted [me]_0-i . As [I]_0-i closed the door , and put the light on the dressing- table , [she]_744-her turned tome with these words : - " [I]_744-her can not - can not sleep ; and in this way [I]_744-her can not - can not live ! "_[744-her] [I]_0-i asked what ailed [her]_744-her . " Dedful miz - er - y ! "_[744-her] said [she]_744-her , with [her]_744-her piteous lisp . " Shall [I]_744-her call [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ? "_[744-her] " That is downright silly , "_[744-her] was [her]_744-her impatient reply ; and , indeed , [I]_0-i well knew that if [she]_744-her had heard [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's foot approach , [she]_744-her would have nestled quiet as a mouse under the bedclothes . Whilst lavishing [her]_744-her eccentricities regardlessly before [me]_0-i - for whom [she]_744-her professed scarcely the semblance of affection - [she]_744-her never showed [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} one glimpse of [her]_744-her inner self : for [her]_744-her , [she]_744-her was nothing but [a docile , somewhat quaint little maiden]_{750-a docile , somewhat quaint little maiden} . [I]_0-i examined [her]_744-her ; [her]_744-her cheek was crimson ; [her]_744-her dilated eye was both troubled and glowing , and painfully restless : in this state it was obvious [she]_744-her must not be left till morning . [I]_0-i guessed how the case stood . " Would [you]_744-her like to bid [Graham]_135-graham good - night again ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " [He]_135-graham is not gone to [[his]_135-graham room]_{4372-his room} yet . "_[744-her] [She]_744-her at once stretched out [her]_744-her little arms to be lifted . Folding a shawl round [her]_744-her , [I]_0-i carried [her]_744-her back to [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} . [Graham]_135-graham was just coming out . " [She]_744-her can not sleep without seeing and speaking to [you]_744-her once more , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said . " [She]_744-her does not like the thought of leaving [you]_744-her . "_[0-i] " [I]_135-graham 've spoilt [her]_744-her , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham , taking [her]_744-her from [me]_0-i with good humour , and kissing [her]_744-her little hot face and burning lips . " [Polly]_141-paulina , [you]_141-paulina care for [me]_135-graham more than for [papa]_4218-papa , now - "_[135-graham] " [I]_744-her do care for [you]_744-her , but [you]_744-her care nothing for [me]_744-her , "_[744-her] was [her]_744-her whisper . [She]_744-her was assured to the contrary , again kissed , restored to [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i carried [her]_744-her away ; but , alas ! not soothed . When [I]_0-i thought [she]_744-her could listen to [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i said - " [Paulina]_141-paulina , [you]_141-paulina should not grieve that [Graham]_135-graham does not care for [you]_141-paulina so much as [you]_141-paulina care for [him]_135-graham . It must be so . "_[0-i] [Her]_744-her lifted and questioning eyes asked why . " Because [he]_135-graham is [a boy]_{4374-a boy} and [you]_141-paulina are [a girl]_{517-a girl} ; [he]_135-graham is sixteen and [you]_141-paulina are only six ; [his]_135-graham nature is strong and gay , and [yours]_141-paulina is otherwise . "_[744-her] " But [I]_0-i love [him]_135-graham so much ; [he]_135-graham should love [me]_0-i a little . "_[0-i] " [He]_135-graham does . [He]_135-graham is fond of [you]_141-paulina . [You]_141-paulina are [his]_135-graham favourite . "_[0-i] " Am [I]_744-her [Graham]_135-graham 's favourite ? "_[744-her] " Yes , more than [any little child]_{4376-any little child} [I]_0-i know . "_[0-i] The assurance soothed [her]_752-i ; [she]_752-i smiled in [her]_752-i anguish . " But , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i continued , " do n't fret , and do n't expect too much of [him]_135-graham , or else [he]_135-graham will feel [you]_752-i to be troublesome , and then it is all over . "_[0-i] " All over ! "_[752-i] [she]_752-i echoed softly ; " then [I]_752-i 'll be good . [I]_752-i 'll try to be good , [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy . "_[752-i] [I]_0-i put [her]_752-i to bed . " Will [he]_135-graham forgive [me]_752-i this one time ? "_[752-i] [she]_752-i asked , as [I]_0-i undressed [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i assured [her]_752-i that [he]_753-he would ; that as yet [he]_753-he was by no means alienated ; that [she]_752-i had only to be careful for the future . " There is no future , "_[752-i] said [she]_752-i : " [I]_752-i am going . Shall [I]_752-i ever - ever - see [him]_753-he again , after [I]_752-i leave [England]_19-england ? "_[752-i] [I]_0-i returned an encouraging response . The candle being extinguished , a still half - hour elapsed . [I]_0-i thought [her]_752-i asleep , when the little white shape once more lifted itself in the crib , and the small voice asked - " Do [you]_0-i like [Graham]_135-graham , [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy ? "_[752-i] " Like [him]_135-graham ! Yes , a little . "_[752-i] " Only a little ! Do [you]_0-i like [him]_135-graham as [I]_752-i do ? "_[752-i] " [I]_752-i think not . No : not as [you]_0-i do . "_[752-i] " Do [you]_0-i like [him]_135-graham much ? "_[752-i] " [I]_752-i told [you]_0-i [I]_752-i liked [him]_135-graham a little . Where is the use of caring for [him]_135-graham so very much : [he]_135-graham is full of faults . "_[752-i] " Is [he]_135-graham ? "_[752-i] " [All boys]_{4377-all boys} are . "_[752-i] " More than [girls]_702-girls ? "_[752-i] " Very likely . [Wise people]_{4379-wise people} say it is folly to think [anybody perfect]_{4380-anybody perfect} ; and as to likes and dislikes , [we]_4381-we should be friendly to [all]_4382-all , and worship [none]_4383-none . "_[752-i] " Are [you]_0-i [a wise person]_{4384-a wise person} ? "_[752-i] " [I]_752-i mean to try to be so . Go to sleep . "_[752-i] " [I]_752-i can not go to sleep . Have [you]_0-i no pain just here "_[752-i] laying [her]_754-she elfish hand on [her]_754-she elfish breast , " when [you]_0-i think [you]_0-i shall have to leave [Graham]_135-graham ; for [[your]_0-i home]_{4385-your home} is not here ? "_[752-i] " Surely , [Polly]_141-paulina , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , " [you]_141-paulina should not feel so much pain when [you]_141-paulina are very soon going to rejoin [[your]_141-paulina father]_{4386-your father} . Have [you]_141-paulina forgotten [him]_{4386-your father} ? Do [you]_141-paulina no longer wish to be [[his]_{4386-your father} little companion]_{4387-his little companion} ? "_[0-i] Dead silence succeeded this question . " [Child]_654-child , lie down and sleep , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i urged . " [My]_754-she bed is cold , "_[754-she] said [she]_754-she . " [I]_754-she ca n't warm it . "_[754-she] [I]_0-i saw the little thing shiver . " Come to [me]_0-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , wishing , yet scarcely hoping , that [she]_754-she would comply : for [she]_754-she was [a most strange , capricious , little creature]_{755-a most strange , capricious , little creature} , and especially whimsical with [me]_0-i . [She]_754-she came , however , instantly , like a small ghost gliding over the carpet . [I]_0-i took [her]_754-she in . [She]_754-she was chill : [I]_0-i warmed [her]_754-she in [my]_0-i arms . [She]_754-she trembled nervously ; [I]_0-i soothed [her]_754-she . Thus tranquillized and cherished [she]_754-she at last slumbered . " [A very unique child]_{4389-a very unique child} , "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i , as [I]_0-i viewed [her]_754-she sleeping countenance by the fitful moonlight , and cautiously and softly wiped [her]_754-she glittering eyelids and [her]_754-she wet cheeks with [my]_0-i handkerchief . " How will [she]_754-she get through [this world]_{4390-this world} , or battle with this life ? How will [she]_754-she bear the shocks and repulses , the humiliations and desolations , which books , and [my]_754-she own reason , tell [me]_754-she are prepared for all flesh ? "_[754-she] [She]_754-she departed the next day ; trembling like a leaf when [she]_754-she took leave , but exercising self - command . CHAPTER IV . [MISS MARCHMONT]_{158-miss marchmont} . On quitting [Bretton]_135-graham , which [I]_0-i did a few weeks after [Paulina]_141-paulina 's departure - little thinking then [I]_0-i was never again to visit [it]_135-graham ; never more to tread [[its]_135-graham calm old streets]_{756-its calm old streets} - [I]_0-i betook [myself]_0-i [home]_542-home , having been absent six months . It will be conjectured that [I]_0-i was of course glad to return to the bosom of [[my]_0-i kindred]_{758-my kindred} . Well ! the amiable conjecture does no harm , and may therefore be safely left uncontradicted . Far from saying nay , indeed , [I]_0-i will permit [the reader]_{759-the reader} to picture [me]_0-i , for the next eight years , as a bark slumbering through [halcyon]_25-halcyon weather , in a harbour still as glass - [the steersman]_{760-the steersman} stretched on [the little deck]_{761-the little deck} , [his]_{760-the steersman} face up to heaven , [his]_{760-the steersman} eyes closed : buried , if [you]_762-you will , in a long prayer . [A great many women]_{763-a great many women} and [girls]_702-girls are supposed to pass [their]_{763-a great many women} lives something in that fashion ; why not [I]_0-i with the rest ? Picture [me]_0-i then idle , basking , plump , and happy , stretched on a cushioned deck , warmed with constant sunshine , rocked by breezes indolently soft . However , it can not be concealed that , in that case , [I]_0-i must somehow have fallen overboard , or that there must have been wreck at last . [I]_0-i too well remember a time - a long time - of cold , of danger , of contention . To this hour , when [I]_0-i have the nightmare , it repeats the rush and saltness of briny waves in [my]_0-i throat , and their icy pressure on [my]_0-i lungs . [I]_0-i even know there was a storm , and that not of one hour nor one day . For many days and nights neither sun nor stars appeared ; [we]_765-our cast with [our]_765-our own hands the tackling out of [the ship]_{766-the ship} ; a heavy tempest lay on [us]_765-our ; all hope that [we]_765-our should be saved was taken away . In fine , [the ship]_{766-the ship} was lost , [the crew]_{768-the crew} perished . As far as [I]_0-i recollect , [I]_0-i complained to [no one about these troubles]_{769-no one about these troubles} . Indeed , to whom could [I]_0-i complain ? Of [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} [I]_0-i had long lost sight . Impediments , raised by [others]_770-others , had , years ago , come in the way of [our]_765-our intercourse , and cut it off . Besides , time had brought changes for [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} , too : the handsome property of which [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} was left guardian for [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} , and which had been chiefly invested in some joint - stock undertaking , had melted , it was said , to a fraction of its original amount . [Graham]_135-graham , [I]_0-i learned from incidental rumours , had adopted a profession ; both [he]_135-graham and [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} were gone from [Bretton]_135-graham , and were understood to be now in [London]_2-london . Thus , there remained no possibility of dependence on [others]_770-others ; to [myself]_0-i alone could [I]_0-i look . [I]_0-i know not that [I]_0-i was of a self - reliant or active nature ; but self - reliance and exertion were forced upon [me]_0-i by circumstances , as they are upon thousands besides ; and when [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} , [a maiden lady of [[our]_765-our neighbourhood]_{775-our neighbourhood}]_{774-a maiden lady of our neighbourhood} , sent for [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i obeyed [her]_{158-miss marchmont} behest , in the hope that [she]_{158-miss marchmont} might assign [me]_0-i some task [I]_0-i could undertake . [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} was [a woman of fortune]_{776-a woman of fortune} , and lived in [a handsome residence]_{777-a handsome residence} ; but [she]_{158-miss marchmont} was [a rheumatic cripple , impotent , foot and hand]_{778-a rheumatic cripple , impotent , foot and hand} , and had been so for twenty years . [She]_{158-miss marchmont} always sat [upstairs]_{4304-upstairs} : [[her]_{158-miss marchmont} drawing - room]_{780-her drawing - room} adjoined [[her]_{158-miss marchmont} bed - room]_{781-her bed - room} . [I]_0-i had often heard of [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} , and of [her]_{158-miss marchmont} peculiarities [she]_{158-miss marchmont} had the character of being very eccentric , but till now had never seen [her]_{158-miss marchmont} . [I]_0-i found [her]_{158-miss marchmont} [a furrowed , grey - haired woman , grave with solitude , stern with long affliction , irritable also , and perhaps exacting]_{782-a furrowed , grey - haired woman , grave with solitude , stern with long affliction , irritable also , and perhaps exacting} . It seemed that [a maid]_{783-a maid} , or rather companion , who had waited on [her]_{158-miss marchmont} for some years , was about to be married ; and [she]_{158-miss marchmont} , hearing of [my]_0-i bereaved lot , had sent for [me]_0-i , with the idea that [I]_0-i might supply [[this person]_{784-this person} 's place]_{785-this person 's place} . [She]_{158-miss marchmont} made the proposal to [me]_0-i after tea , as [she]_{158-miss marchmont} and [I]_0-i sat alone by [her]_{158-miss marchmont} fireside . " It will not be an easy life ; "_{[158-miss marchmont]} said [she]_{158-miss marchmont} candidly , " for [I]_{158-miss marchmont} require a good deal of attention , and [you]_0-i will be much confined ; yet , perhaps , contrasted with the existence [you]_0-i have lately led , it may appear tolerable . "_{[158-miss marchmont]} [I]_0-i reflected . Of course it ought to appear tolerable , [I]_0-i argued inwardly ; but somehow , by some strange fatality , it would not . To live [here]_4212-here , in [this close room]_{787-this close room} , [the watcher of suffering]_{788-the watcher of suffering} - sometimes , perhaps , the butt of temper - through all that was to come of [my]_0-i youth ; while all that was gone had passed , to say the least , not blissfully ! [My]_0-i heart sunk one moment , then it revived ; for though [I]_0-i forced [myself]_0-i to realise evils , [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i was too prosaic to idealise , and consequently to exaggerate them . " [My]_0-i doubt is whether [I]_0-i should have strength for the undertaking , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i observed . " That is [my]_{158-miss marchmont} own scruple , "_{[158-miss marchmont]} said [she]_{158-miss marchmont} ; " for [you]_0-i look [a worn - out creature]_{4391-a worn - out creature} . "_{[158-miss marchmont]} So [I]_0-i did . [I]_0-i saw [myself]_0-i in the glass , in [my]_0-i mourning - dress , a faded , hollow - eyed vision . Yet [I]_0-i thought little of the wan spectacle . The blight , [I]_0-i believed , was chiefly external : [I]_0-i still felt life at life 's sources . " What else have [you]_0-i in view - anything ? "_[0-i] " Nothing clear as yet : but [I]_{158-miss marchmont} may find something . "_{[158-miss marchmont]} " So [you]_0-i imagine : perhaps [you]_0-i are right . Try [your]_0-i own method , then ; and if it does not succeed , test [mine]_{158-miss marchmont} . The chance [I]_0-i have offered shall be left open to [you]_0-i for three months . "_[0-i] This was kind . [I]_0-i told [her]_{158-miss marchmont} so , and expressed [my]_0-i gratitude . While [I]_0-i was speaking , a paroxysm of pain came on . [I]_0-i ministered to [her]_{158-miss marchmont} ; made the necessary applications , according to [her]_{158-miss marchmont} directions , and , by the time [she]_{158-miss marchmont} was relieved , a sort of intimacy was already formed between [us]_789-us . [I]_0-i , for [my]_0-i part , had learned from the manner in which [she]_{158-miss marchmont} bore this attack , that [she]_{158-miss marchmont} was [a firm , patient woman patient under physical pain , though sometimes perhaps excitable under long mental canker]_{790-a firm , patient woman patient under physical pain , though sometimes perhaps excitable under long mental canker} ; and [she]_{158-miss marchmont} , from the good - will with which [I]_0-i succoured [her]_{158-miss marchmont} , discovered that [she]_{158-miss marchmont} could influence [my]_0-i sympathies such as they were . [She]_{158-miss marchmont} sent for [me]_0-i the next day ; for five or six successive days [she]_{158-miss marchmont} claimed [my]_0-i company . Closer acquaintance , while it developed both faults and eccentricities , opened , at the same time , a view of a character [I]_0-i could respect . Stern and even morose as [she]_{158-miss marchmont} sometimes was , [I]_0-i could wait on [her]_{158-miss marchmont} and sit beside [her]_{158-miss marchmont} with that calm which always blesses [us]_789-us when [we]_789-us are sensible that [our]_789-us manners , presence , contact , please and soothe [the persons [we]_789-us serve]_{791-the persons we serve} . Even when [she]_{158-miss marchmont} scolded [me]_0-i - which [she]_{158-miss marchmont} did , now and then , very tartly - it was in such a way as did not humiliate , and left no sting ; it was rather like [an irascible mother]_{792-an irascible mother} rating [[her]_{792-an irascible mother} daughter]_{793-her daughter} , than [a harsh mistress lecturing [a dependant]_{795-a dependant}]_{794-a harsh mistress lecturing a dependant} : lecture , indeed , [she]_{158-miss marchmont} could not , though [she]_{158-miss marchmont} could occasionally storm . Moreover , a vein of reason ever ran through [her]_{158-miss marchmont} passion : [she]_{158-miss marchmont} was logical even when fierce . Ere long a growing sense of attachment began to present the thought of staying with [her]_{158-miss marchmont} as [companion]_{796-companion} in quite a new light ; in another week [I]_0-i had agreed to remain . [Two hot , close rooms]_{797-two hot , close rooms} thus became [[my]_0-i world]_{798-my world} ; and [a crippled old woman]_{799-a crippled old woman} , [[my]_0-i mistress]_{800-my mistress} , [[my]_0-i friend]_{801-my friend} , [my]_0-i all . [Her]_{158-miss marchmont} service was [my]_0-i duty - [her]_{158-miss marchmont} pain , [my]_0-i suffering - [her]_{158-miss marchmont} relief , [my]_0-i hope - [her]_{158-miss marchmont} anger , [my]_0-i punishment - [her]_{158-miss marchmont} regard , [my]_0-i reward . [I]_0-i forgot that there were [fields]_802-fields , [woods]_803-woods , [rivers , seas]_{804-rivers , seas} , an ever - changing sky outside the steam - dimmed lattice of [this sick chamber]_{805-this sick chamber} ; [I]_0-i was almost content to forget it . All within [me]_0-i became narrowed to [my]_0-i lot . Tame and still by habit , disciplined by destiny , [I]_0-i demanded no walks in the fresh air ; [my]_0-i appetite needed no more than the tiny messes served for the invalid . In addition , [she]_{158-miss marchmont} gave [me]_0-i the originality of [her]_{158-miss marchmont} character to study : the steadiness of [her]_{158-miss marchmont} virtues , [I]_0-i will add , the power of [her]_{158-miss marchmont} passions , to admire ; the truth of [her]_{158-miss marchmont} feelings to trust . All these things [she]_{158-miss marchmont} had , and for these things [I]_0-i clung to [her]_{158-miss marchmont} . For these things [I]_0-i would have crawled on with [her]_{158-miss marchmont} for twenty years , if for twenty years longer [her]_{158-miss marchmont} life of endurance had been protracted . But another decree was written . It seemed [I]_0-i must be stimulated into action . [I]_0-i must be goaded , driven , stung , forced to energy . [My]_0-i little morsel of human affection , which [I]_0-i prized as if it were a solid pearl , must melt in [my]_0-i fingers and slip thence like a dissolving hailstone . [My]_0-i small adopted duty must be snatched from [my]_0-i easily contented conscience . [I]_0-i had wanted to compromise with [Fate]_159-fate : to escape occasional great agonies by submitting to a whole life of privation and small pains . [Fate]_159-fate would not so be pacified ; nor would [Providence]_{160-providence} sanction this shrinking sloth and cowardly indolence . One February night - [I]_0-i remember it well - there came a voice near [[Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} 's house]_{806-miss marchmont 's house} , heard by [every inmate]_{807-every inmate} , but translated , perhaps , only by one . After a calm winter , storms were ushering in the spring . [I]_0-i had put [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} to bed ; [I]_0-i sat at the fireside sewing . The wind was wailing at the windows ; it had wailed all day ; but , as night deepened , it took a new tone - an accent keen , piercing , almost articulate to the ear ; a plaint , piteous and disconsolate to the nerves , trilled in every gust . " Oh , hush ! hush ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said in [my]_0-i disturbed mind , dropping [my]_0-i work , and making a vain effort to stop [my]_0-i ears against that subtle , searching cry . [I]_0-i had heard that very voice ere this , and compulsory observation had forced on [me]_0-i a theory as to what it boded . Three times in the course of [my]_0-i life , events had taught [me]_0-i that these strange accents in the storm - this restless , hopeless cry - denote a coming state of the atmosphere unpropitious to life . Epidemic diseases , [I]_0-i believed , were often heralded by [a gasping , sobbing , tormented , long - lamenting east wind]_{808-a gasping , sobbing , tormented , long - lamenting east wind} . Hence , [I]_0-i inferred , arose the legend of [the Banshee]_{161-the banshee} . [I]_0-i fancied , too , [I]_0-i had noticed - but was not philosopher enough to know whether there was any connection between the circumstances - that [we]_809-we often at the same time hear of disturbed volcanic action in [distant parts of [the world]_{811-the world}]_{810-distant parts of the world} ; of rivers suddenly rushing above [their]_812-their banks ; and of strange high tides flowing furiously in on [low sea - coasts]_{813-low sea - coasts} . " [[Our]_809-we globe]_{4392-our globe} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had said to [myself]_0-i , ' seems at such periods torn and disordered ; the feeble amongst [us]_809-we wither in [her]_814-i distempered breath , rushing hot from steaming volcanoes . " [I]_814-i listened and trembled ; [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} slept . About midnight , the storm in one half - hour fell to a dead calm . The fire , which had been burning dead , glowed up vividly . [I]_814-i felt the air change , and become keen . Raising blind and curtain , [I]_814-i looked out , and saw in the stars the keen sparkle of a sharp frost . Turning away , the object that met [my]_814-i eyes was [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} awake , lifting [her]_{158-miss marchmont} head from the pillow , and regarding [me]_814-i with unusual earnestness . "_[814-i] Is it a fine night ? " [she]_{158-miss marchmont} asked . [I]_0-i replied in the affirmative . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought so , " [she]_{158-miss marchmont} said ; "_[0-i] for [I]_0-i feel so strong , so well . Raise [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i feel young to - night , " [she]_{158-miss marchmont} continued : "_[0-i] young , light - hearted , and happy . What if [my]_0-i complaint be about to take a turn , and [I]_0-i am yet destined to enjoy health ? It would be a miracle ! " "_[815-i] And these are not the days of miracles , " [I]_815-i thought to [myself]_815-i , and wondered to hear [her]_{158-miss marchmont} talk so . [She]_{158-miss marchmont} went on directing [her]_{158-miss marchmont} conversation to the past , and seeming to recall its incidents , scenes , and personages , with singular vividness . "_[815-i] " [I]_815-i love [Memory]_162-memory to - night , "_[815-i] [she]_815-i said : " [I]_815-i prize [her]_{158-miss marchmont} as [[my]_815-i best friend]_{4393-my best friend} . [She]_{158-miss marchmont} is just now giving [me]_815-i a deep delight : [she]_{158-miss marchmont} is bringing back to [my]_815-i heart , in warm and beautiful life , realities - not mere empty ideas , but what were once realities , and that [I]_815-i long have thought decayed , dissolved , mixed in with grave - mould . [I]_815-i possess just now the hours , the thoughts , the hopes of [my]_815-i youth . [I]_815-i renew the love of [my]_815-i life - its only love - almost its only affection ; for [I]_815-i am not [a particularly good woman]_{4394-a particularly good woman} : [I]_815-i am not amiable . Yet [I]_815-i have had [my]_815-i feelings , strong and concentrated ; and these feelings had [their]_4395-their object ; which , in its single self , was dear to [me]_815-i , as to [the majority of [men]_4397-men and [women]_4398-women]_{4396-the majority of men and women} , are all the unnumbered points on which [they]_{4396-the majority of men and women} dissipate [their]_{4396-the majority of men and women} regard . While [I]_815-i loved , and while [I]_815-i was loved , what an existence [I]_815-i enjoyed ! What a glorious year [I]_815-i can recall - how bright it comes back to [me]_815-i ! What a living spring - what a warm , glad summer - what soft moonlight , silvering the autumn evenings - what strength of hope under the ice- bound waters and frost - hoar fields of that year 's winter ! Through that year [my]_815-i heart lived with [Frank]_163-frank 's heart . O [[my]_815-i noble [Frank]_163-frank]_{4399-my noble frank} - [my]_815-i faithful [Frank]_163-frank - [my]_815-i good [Frank]_163-frank ! so much better than [myself]_815-i - [his]_163-frank standard in all things so much higher ! This [I]_815-i can now see and say : if [few women]_{4400-few women} have suffered as [I]_815-i did in [his]_163-frank loss , [few]_4401-few have enjoyed what [I]_815-i did in [his]_163-frank love . It was a far better kind of love than common ; [I]_815-i had no doubts about it or [him]_163-frank : it was such a love as honoured , protected , and elevated , no less than it gladdened [her]_4402-her to whom it was given . Let [me]_815-i now ask , just at this moment , when [my]_815-i mind is so strangely clear , - let [me]_815-i reflect why it was taken from [me]_815-i ? For what crime was [I]_815-i condemned , after twelve months of bliss , to undergo thirty years of sorrow ? "_[815-i] [I]_0-i do not know , " [she]_4402-her continued after a pause : "_[815-i] [I]_0-i can not - can not see the reason ; yet at this hour [I]_0-i can say with sincerity , what [I]_0-i never tried to say before , Inscrutable [God]_164-god , [Thy]_816-thy will be done ! And at this moment [I]_0-i can believe that death will restore [me]_0-i to [Frank]_163-frank . [I]_0-i never believed it till now . " "_[163-frank] [He]_163-frank is dead , then ? " [I]_163-frank inquired in a low voice . "_[163-frank] [[My]_0-i dear girl]_{817-my dear girl} , " [she]_4403-she said , "_[163-frank] one happy Christmas Eve [I]_0-i dressed and decorated [myself]_0-i , expecting [[my]_0-i lover]_{818-my lover} , very soon to be [[my]_0-i husband]_{819-my husband} , would come that night to visit [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i sat down to wait . Once more [I]_0-i see that moment - [I]_0-i see the snow twilight stealing through the window over which the curtain was not dropped , for [I]_0-i designed to watch [him]_163-frank ride up [the white walk]_{820-the white walk} ; [I]_0-i see and feel the soft firelight warming [me]_0-i , playing on [my]_0-i silk dress , and fitfully showing [me]_0-i [my]_0-i own young figure in a glass . [I]_0-i see the moon of a calm winter night , float full , clear , and cold , over the inky mass of shrubbery , and the silvered turf of [[my]_0-i grounds]_{821-my grounds} . [I]_0-i wait , with some impatience in [my]_0-i pulse , but no doubt in [my]_0-i breast . The flames had died in the fire , but it was a bright mass yet ; the moon was mounting high , but [she]_822-she was still visible from the lattice ; the clock neared ten ; [he]_163-frank rarely tarried later than this , but once or twice [he]_163-frank had been delayed so long . " Would [he]_163-frank for once fail [me]_0-i ? No - not even for once ; and now [he]_163-frank was coming - and coming fast - to atone for lost time . ' [Frank]_163-frank ! [you]_163-frank furious rider , ' [I]_0-i said inwardly , listening gladly , yet anxiously , to [his]_163-frank approaching gallop , ' [you]_163-frank shall be rebuked for this : [I]_0-i will tell [you]_163-frank it is [my]_0-i neck [you]_163-frank are putting in peril ; for whatever is [yours]_163-frank is , in a dearer and tenderer sense , [mine]_0-i . ' There [he]_163-frank was : [I]_0-i saw [him]_163-frank ; but [I]_0-i think tears were in [my]_0-i eyes , [my]_0-i sight was so confused . [I]_0-i saw the horse ; [I]_0-i heard it stamp - [I]_0-i saw at least a mass ; [I]_0-i heard a clamour . Was it a horse ? or what heavy , dragging thing was it , crossing , strangely dark , [the lawn]_{4404-the lawn} . How could [I]_0-i name that thing in the moonlight before [me]_0-i ? or how could [I]_0-i utter the feeling which rose in [my]_0-i soul ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could only run out . A great animal - truly , [Frank]_163-frank 's black horse - stood trembling , panting , snorting before the door ; [a man]_{823-a man} held it [Frank]_163-frank , as [I]_0-i thought . " ' What is the matter ? ' [I]_{823-a man} demanded . [Thomas]_165-thomas , [[my]_{823-a man} own servant]_{4405-my own servant} , answered by saying sharply , ' Go into [the house]_{518-the house} , [madam]_4242-madam . ' And then calling to [another servant]_{4408-another servant} , who came hurrying from [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen} as if summoned by some instinct , ' [Ruth]_166-ruth , take [missis]_4410-missis into [the house]_{518-the house} directly . ' But [I]_{823-a man} was kneeling down in the snow , beside something that lay there - something that [I]_{823-a man} had seen dragged along the ground - something that sighed , that groaned on [my]_{823-a man} breast , as [I]_{823-a man} lifted and drew it to ms . [He]_163-frank was not dead ; [he]_163-frank was not quite unconscious . [I]_{823-a man} had [him]_163-frank carried in ; [I]_{823-a man} refused to be ordered about and thrust from [him]_163-frank . [I]_{823-a man} was quite collected enough , not only to be [[my]_{823-a man} own mistress]_{4412-my own mistress} but [the mistress of [others]_770-others]_{4413-the mistress of others} . [They]_770-others had begun by trying to treat [me]_{823-a man} like [a child]_{4415-a child} , as [they]_770-others always do with people struck by [God]_164-god 's hand ; but [I]_{823-a man} gave place to none except [the surgeon]_{4416-the surgeon} ; and when [he]_{4416-the surgeon} had done what [he]_{4416-the surgeon} could , [I]_{823-a man} took [my]_{823-a man} dying [Frank]_163-frank to [myself]_{823-a man} . [He]_163-frank had strength to fold [me]_{823-a man} in [his]_163-frank arms ; [he]_163-frank had power to speak [my]_{823-a man} name ; [he]_163-frank heard [me]_{823-a man} as [I]_{823-a man} prayed over [him]_163-frank very softly ; [he]_163-frank felt [me]_{823-a man} as [I]_{823-a man} tenderly and fondly comforted [him]_163-frank . "_{[823-a man]} ' [Maria]_139-polly , ' [he]_824-he said , ' [I]_0-i am dying in [Paradise]_26-paradise . ' [He]_824-he spent [his]_824-he last breath in faithful words for [me]_0-i . When the dawn of Christmas morning broke , [[my]_0-i [Frank]_163-frank]_{825-my frank} was with [God]_164-god . " And that , "_[826-i] [she]_826-i went on , " happened thirty years ago . [I]_826-i have suffered since . [I]_826-i doubt if [I]_826-i have made the best use of all [my]_826-i calamities . Soft , amiable natures [they]_4417-they would have refined to saintliness ; of [strong , evil spirits]_{4418-strong , evil spirits} [they]_4417-they would have made demons ; as for [me]_826-i , [I]_826-i have only been [a woe - struck and selfish woman]_{4419-a woe - struck and selfish woman} . "_[826-i] " [You]_826-i have done much good , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said ; for [she]_826-i was noted for [her]_826-i liberal almsgiving . " [I]_826-i have not withheld money , [you]_0-i mean , where it could assuage affliction . What of that ? It cost [me]_826-i no effort or pang to give . But [I]_826-i think from this day [I]_826-i am about to enter a better frame of mind , to prepare [myself]_826-i for reunion with [Frank]_163-frank . [You]_0-i see [I]_826-i still think of [Frank]_163-frank more than of [God]_164-god ; and unless it be counted that in thus loving the creature so much , so long , and so exclusively , [I]_826-i have not at least blasphemed [the Creator]_{4420-the creator} , small is [my]_826-i chance of salvation . What do [you]_0-i think , [Lucy]_142-lucy , of these things ? Be [[my]_826-i chaplain]_{4421-my chaplain} , and tell [me]_826-i . "_[826-i] This question [I]_0-i could not answer : [I]_0-i had no words . It seemed as if [she]_827-she thought [I]_0-i had answered it . " Very right , [[my]_828-i child]_{4422-my child} . [We]_4423-we should acknowledge [God]_164-god merciful , but not always for [us]_4423-we comprehensible . [We]_4423-we should accept [our]_4423-we own lot , whatever it be , and try to render happy that of [others]_770-others . Should [we]_4423-we not ? Well , to - morrow [I]_828-i will begin by trying to make [you]_0-i happy . [I]_828-i will endeavour to do something for [you]_0-i , [Lucy]_142-lucy : something that will benefit [you]_0-i when [I]_828-i am dead . [My]_828-i head aches now with talking too much ; still [I]_828-i am happy . Go to bed . The clock strikes two . How late [you]_0-i sit up ; or rather how late [I]_828-i , in [my]_828-i selfishness , keep [you]_0-i up . But go now ; have no more anxiety for [me]_828-i ; [I]_828-i feel [I]_828-i shall rest well . "_[828-i] [She]_828-i composed [herself]_828-i as if to slumber . [I]_0-i , too , retired to [[my]_0-i crib]_{829-my crib} in [a closet within [[her]_828-i room]_{831-her room}]_{830-a closet within her room} . The night passed in quietness ; quietly [her]_828-i doom must at last have come : peacefully and painlessly : in the morning [she]_828-i was found without life , nearly cold , but all calm and undisturbed . [Her]_828-i previous excitement of spirits and change of mood had been the prelude of a fit ; one stroke sufficed to sever the thread of an existence so long fretted by affliction . CHAPTER V. TURNING A NEW LEAF . [[My]_0-i mistress]_{800-my mistress} being dead , and [I]_0-i once more alone , [I]_0-i had to look out for [a new place]_{833-a new place} . About this time [I]_0-i might be a little - a very little - shaken in nerves . [I]_0-i grant [I]_0-i was not looking well , but , on the contrary , thin , haggard , and hollow - eyed ; like [a sitter - up at night]_{834-a sitter - up at night} , like [an overwrought servant]_{835-an overwrought servant} , or [a placeless person in debt]_{836-a placeless person in debt} . In debt , however , [I]_0-i was not ; nor quite poor ; for though [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} had not had time to benefit [me]_0-i , as , on that last night , [she]_{158-miss marchmont} said [she]_{158-miss marchmont} intended , yet , after the funeral , [my]_0-i wages were duly paid by [[her]_{158-miss marchmont} second cousin]_{837-her second cousin} , [the heir]_{838-the heir} , [an avaricious - looking man , with pinched nose and narrow temples]_{839-an avaricious - looking man , with pinched nose and narrow temples} , who , indeed , [I]_0-i heard long afterwards , turned out a thorough miser : a direct contrast to [[his]_{839-an avaricious - looking man , with pinched nose and narrow temples} generous kinswoman]_{840-his generous kinswoman} , and a foil to [her]_{158-miss marchmont} memory , blessed to this day by [the poor and needy]_{841-the poor and needy} . [The possessor , then , of fifteen pounds]_{842-the possessor , then , of fifteen pounds} ; of health , though worn , not broken , and of [a spirit in similar condition]_{843-a spirit in similar condition} ; [I]_0-i might still ; in comparison with [many people]_{844-many people} , be regarded as occupying an enviable position . An embarrassing one it was , however , at the same time ; as [I]_0-i felt with some acuteness on a certain day , of which the corresponding one in the next week was to see [my]_0-i departure from [[my]_0-i present abode]_{845-my present abode} , while with another [I]_0-i was not provided . In this dilemma [I]_0-i went , as [a last and sole resource]_{846-a last and sole resource} , to see and consult [an old servant of [[our]_848-our family]_{849-our family}]_{847-an old servant of our family} ; once [[my]_0-i nurse]_{850-my nurse} , now housekeeper at [a grand mansion not far from [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} 's]_{851-a grand mansion not far from miss marchmont 's} . [I]_0-i spent some hours with [her]_{850-my nurse} ; [she]_{850-my nurse} comforted , but knew not how to advise [me]_0-i . Still all inward darkness , [I]_0-i left [her]_{850-my nurse} about twilight ; a walk of two miles lay before [me]_0-i ; it was a clear , frosty night . In spite of [my]_0-i solitude , [my]_0-i poverty , and [my]_0-i perplexity , [my]_0-i heart , nourished and nerved with the vigour of a youth that had not yet counted twenty - three summers , beat light and not feebly . Not feebly , [I]_0-i am sure , or [I]_0-i should have trembled in that lonely walk , which lay through [still fields]_{852-still fields} , and passed [neither village]_{853-neither village} nor [farmhouse]_{854-farmhouse} , nor [cottage]_855-cottage : [I]_0-i should have quailed in the absence of moonlight , for it was by the leading of stars only [I]_0-i traced the dim path ; [I]_0-i should have quailed still more in the unwonted presence of that which to - night shone in the north , a moving mystery - the Aurora Borealis . But [this solemn stranger]_{856-this solemn stranger} influenced [me]_0-i otherwise than through [my]_0-i fears . Some new power it seemed to bring . [I]_0-i drew in energy with the keen , low breeze that blew on its path . A bold thought was sent to [my]_0-i mind ; [my]_0-i mind was made strong to receive it . " Leave [this wilderness]_{4425-this wilderness} , "_[0-i] it was said to [me]_0-i , " and go out hence . "_[0-i] " Where ? "_[0-i] was the query . [I]_0-i had not very far to look ; gazing from [this country parish]_{857-this country parish} in [that flat , rich middle of [England]_19-england]_{858-that flat , rich middle of england} - [I]_0-i mentally saw within reach what [I]_0-i had never yet beheld with [my]_0-i bodily eyes : [I]_0-i saw [London]_2-london . The next day [I]_0-i returned to [the hall]_{573-the hall} , and asking once more to see [the housekeeper]_{860-the housekeeper} , [I]_0-i communicated to [her]_{860-the housekeeper} [my]_0-i plan . [Mrs. Barrett]_{167-mrs. barrett} was [a grave , judicious woman]_{861-a grave , judicious woman} , though [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} knew little more of [the world]_{811-the world} than [myself]_0-i ; but grave and judicious as [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} was , [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} did not charge [me]_0-i with being out of [my]_0-i senses ; and , indeed , [I]_0-i had a staid manner of [my]_0-i own which ere now had been as good to [me]_0-i as cloak and hood of hodden grey , since under [its]_863-its favour [I]_0-i had been enabled to achieve with impunity , and even approbation , deeds that , if attempted with an excited and unsettled air , would in some minds have stamped [me]_0-i as [a dreamer and zealot]_{864-a dreamer and zealot} . [The housekeeper]_{860-the housekeeper} was slowly propounding some difficulties , while [she]_{860-the housekeeper} prepared orange - rind for marmalade , when [a child]_{4415-a child} ran past the window and came bounding into [the room]_{600-the room} . [It]_{4415-a child} was [a pretty child]_{868-a pretty child} , and as it danced , laughing , up to [me]_0-i - for [we]_869-we were not [strangers]_{870-strangers} nor , indeed , was [[its]_{4415-a child} mother]_{871-its mother} - [a young married daughter of [the house]_{518-the house}]_{872-a young married daughter of the house} - [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} - [I]_0-i took it on [my]_0-i knee . Different as were [our]_869-we social positions now , [[this child]_{875-this child} 's mother]_{876-this child 's mother} and [I]_0-i had been [schoolfellows]_{877-schoolfellows} , when [I]_0-i was [a girl of ten]_{878-a girl of ten} and [she]_{876-this child 's mother} [a young lady of sixteen]_{879-a young lady of sixteen} ; and [I]_0-i remembered [her]_{876-this child 's mother} , good - looking , but dull , in a lower class than [mine]_0-i . [I]_0-i was admiring [the boy]_{880-the boy} 's handsome dark eyes , when [the mother]_{881-the mother} , [young Mrs. Leigh]_{168-young mrs. leigh} , entered . What [a beautiful and kind - looking woman]_{882-a beautiful and kind - looking woman} was [the good - natured and comely , but unintellectual , girl]_{883-the good - natured and comely , but unintellectual , girl} become ! Wifehood and maternity had changed [her]_{876-this child 's mother} thus , as [I]_0-i have since seen [them]_884-them change others even less promising than [she]_{876-this child 's mother} . [Me]_0-i [she]_{876-this child 's mother} had forgotten . [I]_0-i was changed too , though not , [I]_0-i fear , for the better . [I]_0-i made no attempt to recall [myself]_0-i to [her]_{876-this child 's mother} memory ; why should [I]_0-i ? [She]_{876-this child 's mother} came for [[her]_{876-this child 's mother} son]_{532-her son} to accompany [her]_{876-this child 's mother} in a walk , and behind [her]_{876-this child 's mother} followed [a nurse]_{886-a nurse} , carrying [an infant]_{887-an infant} . [I]_0-i only mention the incident because , in addressing [the nurse]_{588-the nurse} , [Mrs. Leigh]_{168-young mrs. leigh} spoke French very bad French , by the way , and with an incorrigibly bad accent , again forcibly reminding [me]_0-i of [our]_889-our school- days : and [I]_0-i found [the woman]_{890-the woman} was [a foreigner]_{891-a foreigner} . [The little boy]_{892-the little boy} chattered volubly in French too . When [the whole party]_{893-the whole party} were withdrawn , [Mrs. Barrett]_{167-mrs. barrett} remarked that [[her]_{167-mrs. barrett} young lady]_{894-her young lady} had brought [that foreign nurse]_{895-that foreign nurse} [home]_542-home with [her]_{167-mrs. barrett} two years ago , on [her]_{167-mrs. barrett} return from a Continental excursion ; that [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} was treated almost as well as [a governess]_{897-a governess} , and had nothing to do but walk out with [the baby]_{898-the baby} and chatter French with [Master Charles]_169-charles ; " and , "_{[167-mrs. barrett]} added [Mrs. Barrett]_{167-mrs. barrett} , ' [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} says there are many Englishwomen in [foreign families]_{899-foreign families} as well placed as [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} . " [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} stored up this piece of casual information , as [careful housewives]_{4426-careful housewives} store seemingly worthless shreds and fragments for which [their]_{4426-careful housewives} prescient minds anticipate a possible use some day . Before [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} left [[my]_{167-mrs. barrett} old friend]_{4427-my old friend} , [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} gave [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} the address of [a respectable old - fashioned inn in [the City]_{4429-the city}]_{4428-a respectable old - fashioned inn in the city} , which , [she]_{167-mrs. barrett} said , [[my]_{167-mrs. barrett} uncles]_{4430-my uncles} used to frequent in former days . In going to [London]_2-london , [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} ran less risk and evinced less enterprise than [the reader]_{759-the reader} may think . In fact , the distance was only fifty miles . [My]_{167-mrs. barrett} means would suffice both to take [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} [there]_512-there , to keep [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} a few days , and also to bring [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} back if [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} found no inducement to stay . [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} regarded it as a brief holiday , permitted for once to work - weary faculties , rather than as an adventure of life and death . There is nothing like taking all [you]_4433-you do at a moderate estimate : it keeps mind and body tranquil ; whereas grandiloquent notions are apt to hurry both into fever . Fifty miles were then a day 's journey for [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} speak of a time gone by : [my]_{167-mrs. barrett} hair , which , till a late period , withstood the frosts of time , lies now , at last white , under a white cap , like snow beneath snow . About nine o'clock of a wet February night [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} reached [London]_2-london . [[My]_{167-mrs. barrett} reader]_{4434-my reader} , [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} know , is one who would not thank [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} for an elaborate reproduction of poetic first impressions ; and it is well , inasmuch as [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} had neither time nor mood to cherish such ; arriving as [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} did late , on a dark , raw , and rainy evening , in [a Babylon]_{4435-a babylon} and [a wilderness]_{4436-a wilderness} , of which the vastness and the strangeness tried to the utmost any powers of clear thought and steady self - possession with which , in the absence of more brilliant faculties , Nature might have gifted [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} . When [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} left [the coach]_{565-the coach} , the strange speech of [the cabmen]_{4438-the cabmen} and others waiting round , seemed to [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} odd as a foreign tongue . [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} had never before heard the English language chopped up in that way . However , [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} managed to understand and to be understood , so far as to get [myself]_{167-mrs. barrett} and trunk safely conveyed to [the old inn]_{4439-the old inn} whereof [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} had the address . How difficult , how oppressive , how puzzling seemed [my]_{167-mrs. barrett} flight ! In [London]_2-london for the first time ; at [an inn]_{4440-an inn} for the first time ; tired with travelling ; confused with darkness ; palsied with cold ; unfurnished with either experience or advice to tell [me]_{167-mrs. barrett} how to act , and yet - to act obliged . Into the hands of common sense [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} confided the matter . Common sense , however , was as chilled and bewildered as all [my]_{167-mrs. barrett} other faculties , and it was only under the spur of an inexorable necessity that [she]_4441-she spasmodically executed [her]_4441-she trust . Thus urged , [she]_4441-she paid [the porter]_{4442-the porter} : considering the crisis , [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} did not blame [her]_4441-she too much that [she]_4441-she was hugely cheated ; [she]_4441-she asked [the waiter]_{4443-the waiter} for [a room]_{612-a room} ; [she]_4441-she timorously called for [the chambermaid]_{4445-the chambermaid} ; what is far more , [she]_4441-she bore , without being wholly overcome , a highly supercilious style of demeanour from [that young lady]_{4227-that young lady} , when [she]_4441-she appeared . [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} recollect [this same chambermaid]_{4447-this same chambermaid} was a pattern of town prettiness and smartness . So trim [her]_4441-she waist , [her]_4441-she cap , [her]_4441-she dress - [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} wondered how they had all been manufactured . [Her]_4441-she speech had an accent which in its mincing glibness seemed to rebuke [mine]_{167-mrs. barrett} as by authority ; [her]_4441-she spruce attire flaunted an easy scorn to [my]_{167-mrs. barrett} plain country garb . "_{[167-mrs. barrett]} Well , it ca n't be helped , " [I]_{167-mrs. barrett} thought , "_{[167-mrs. barrett]} and then the scene is new , and the circumstances ; [I]_0-i shall gain good . " Maintaining a very quiet manner towards [this arrogant little maid]_{4448-this arrogant little maid} , and subsequently observing the same towards [the parsonic - looking , black- coated , white - neckclothed waiter]_{4449-the parsonic - looking , black- coated , white - neckclothed waiter} , [I]_0-i got civility from [them]_4450-they ere long . [I]_0-i believe at first [they]_4450-they thought [I]_0-i was [a servant]_{564-a servant} ; but in a little while [they]_4450-they changed [their]_4450-they minds , and hovered in a doubtful state between patronage and politeness . [I]_0-i kept up well till [I]_0-i had partaken of some refreshment , warmed [myself]_0-i by a fire , and was fairly shut into [[my]_0-i own room]_{4452-my own room} ; but , as [I]_0-i sat down by the bed and rested [my]_0-i head and arms on the pillow , a terrible oppression overcame [me]_0-i . All at once [my]_0-i position rose on [me]_0-i like a ghost . Anomalous , desolate , almost blank of hope it stood . What was [I]_0-i doing here alone in great [London]_2-london ? What should [I]_0-i do on the morrow ? What prospects had [I]_0-i in life ? What [friends]_533-friends had [I]_0-i on , [earth]_4454-earth ? Whence did [I]_0-i come ? Whither should [I]_0-i go ? What should [I]_0-i do ? [I]_0-i wet the pillow , [my]_0-i arms , and [my]_0-i hair , with rushing tears . A dark interval of most bitter thought followed this burst ; but [I]_0-i did not regret the step taken , nor wish to retract it A strong , vague persuasion that it was better to go forward than backward , and that [I]_0-i could go forward - that a way , however narrow and difficult , would in time open - predominated over other feelings : its influence hushed them so far , that at last [I]_0-i became sufficiently tranquil to be able to say [my]_0-i prayers and seek [my]_0-i couch . [I]_0-i had just extinguished [my]_0-i candle and lain down , when a deep , low , mighty tone swung through the night . At first [I]_0-i knew it not ; but it was uttered twelve times , and at the twelfth colossal hum and trembling knell , [I]_0-i said : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i lie in the shadow of [St. Paul]_{170-st. paul} 's . " CHAPTER VI . [LONDON]_2-london . The next day was the first of March , and when [I]_0-i awoke , rose , and opened [my]_0-i curtain , [I]_0-i saw the risen sun struggling through fog . Above [my]_0-i head , above [the house]_{518-the house} - tops , co - elevate almost with the clouds , [I]_0-i saw a solemn , orbed mass , dark blue and dim - THE DOME . While [I]_0-i looked , [my]_0-i inner self moved ; [my]_0-i spirit shook its always - fettered wings half loose ; [I]_0-i had a sudden feeling as if [I]_0-i , who never yet truly lived , were at last about to taste life . In that morning [my]_0-i soul grew as fast as [Jonah]_171-jonah 's gourd . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did well to come , " [I]_0-i said , proceeding to dress with speed and care . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i like the spirit of [this great [London]_2-london]_{900-this great london} which [I]_0-i feel around [me]_0-i . Who but [a coward]_{901-a coward} would pass [his]_{901-a coward} whole life in hamlets ; and for ever abandon [his]_{901-a coward} faculties to the eating rust of obscurity ? " Being dressed , [I]_4221-ma'am went down ; not travel - worn and exhausted , but tidy and refreshed . When [the waiter]_{4443-the waiter} came in with [my]_4221-ma'am breakfast , [I]_4221-ma'am managed to accost [him]_{4443-the waiter} sedately , yet cheerfully ; [we]_4457-we had ten minutes ' discourse , in the course of which [we]_4457-we became usefully known to [each other]_{4318-each other} . [He]_{4443-the waiter} was [a grey - haired , elderly man]_{4459-a grey - haired , elderly man} ; and , it seemed , had lived in [his]_{4443-the waiter} present place twenty years . Having ascertained this , [I]_4221-ma'am was sure [he]_{4443-the waiter} must remember [[my]_4221-ma'am two uncles]_{4460-my two uncles} , [Charles]_169-charles and [Wilmot]_172-wilmot , who , fifteen , years ago , were frequent visitors [here]_4212-here . [I]_4221-ma'am mentioned [their]_{4460-my two uncles} names ; [he]_{4443-the waiter} recalled them perfectly , and with respect . Having intimated [my]_4221-ma'am connection , [my]_4221-ma'am position in [his]_{4443-the waiter} eyes was henceforth clear , and on a right footing . [He]_{4443-the waiter} said [I]_4221-ma'am was like [[my]_4221-ma'am uncle]_{4462-my uncle} [Charles]_169-charles : [I]_4221-ma'am suppose [he]_{4443-the waiter} spoke truth , because [Mrs. Barrett]_{167-mrs. barrett} was accustomed to say the same thing . A ready and obliging courtesy now replaced [his]_{4443-the waiter} former uncomfortably doubtful manner ; henceforth [I]_4221-ma'am need no longer be at a loss for a civil answer to a sensible question . [The street on which [my]_4221-ma'am little sitting - room window looked]_{4463-the street on which my little sitting - room window looked} was narrow , perfectly quiet , and not dirty : [the few passengers]_{4464-the few passengers} were just such as one sees in [provincial towns]_{4465-provincial towns} : here was nothing formidable ; [I]_4221-ma'am felt sure [I]_4221-ma'am might venture out alone . Having breakfasted , out [I]_4221-ma'am went . Elation and pleasure were in [my]_4221-ma'am heart : to walk alone in [London]_2-london seemed of itself an adventure . Presently [I]_4221-ma'am found [myself]_4221-ma'am in [Paternoster Row]_{27-paternoster row} - classic ground this . [I]_4221-ma'am entered [[a bookseller]_{4466-a bookseller} 's shop]_{4467-a bookseller 's shop} , kept by [one Jones]_{173-one jones} : [I]_4221-ma'am bought a little book - a piece of extravagance [I]_4221-ma'am could ill afford ; but [I]_4221-ma'am thought [I]_4221-ma'am would one day give or send it to [Mrs. Barrett]_{167-mrs. barrett} . [Mr. Jones]_{173-one jones} , [a dried - in man of business]_{4468-a dried - in man of business} , stood behind [his]_{173-one jones} desk : [he]_{173-one jones} seemed one of the greatest , and [I]_4221-ma'am one of [the happiest of beings]_{4469-the happiest of beings} . Prodigious was the amount of life [I]_4221-ma'am lived that morning . Finding [myself]_4221-ma'am before [St. Paul 's]_{170-st. paul} , [I]_4221-ma'am went in ; [I]_4221-ma'am mounted to the dome : [I]_4221-ma'am saw thence [London]_2-london , with [[its]_2-london river]_{4470-its river} , and [its]_2-london bridges , and [[its]_2-london churches]_{4471-its churches} ; [I]_4221-ma'am saw [antique Westminster]_{29-antique westminster} , and [the green Temple Gardens]_{4472-the green temple gardens} , with sun upon [them]_{4472-the green temple gardens} , and a glad , blue sky , of early spring above ; and between them and it , not too dense , a cloud of haze . Descending , [I]_4221-ma'am went wandering whither chance might lead , in a still ecstasy of freedom and enjoyment ; and [I]_4221-ma'am got - [I]_4221-ma'am know not how - [I]_4221-ma'am got into the heart of city life . [I]_4221-ma'am saw and felt [London]_2-london at last : [I]_4221-ma'am got into [the Strand]_{30-the strand} ; [I]_4221-ma'am went up [Cornhill]_31-cornhill ; [I]_4221-ma'am mixed with the life passing along ; [I]_4221-ma'am dared the perils of crossings . To do this , and to do it utterly alone , gave [me]_4221-ma'am , perhaps an irrational , but a real pleasure . Since those days , [I]_4221-ma'am have seen [the West End]_{4473-the west end} , [the parks]_{4474-the parks} , [the fine squares]_{4475-the fine squares} ; but [I]_4221-ma'am love [the city]_{4429-the city} far better . [The city]_{4429-the city} seems so much more in earnest : [its]_{4429-the city} business , its rush , its roar , are such serious things , sights , and sounds . [The city]_{4429-the city} is getting [its]_{4429-the city} living - [the West End]_{32-the west end} but enjoying [its]_{4429-the city} pleasure . At [the West End]_{32-the west end} [you]_4479-you may be amused , but in [the city]_{4429-the city} [you]_4479-you are deeply excited . Faint , at last , and hungry it was years since [I]_4221-ma'am had felt such healthy hunger , [I]_4221-ma'am returned , about two o'clock , to [[my]_4221-ma'am dark , old , and quiet inn]_{4481-my dark , old , and quiet inn} . [I]_4221-ma'am dined on two dishes - a plain joint and vegetables ; both seemed excellent : how much better than the small , dainty messes [[Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} 's cook]_{4482-miss marchmont 's cook} used to send up to [[my]_4221-ma'am kind]_{4483-my kind} , [dead mistress]_{4484-dead mistress} and [me]_4221-ma'am , and to the discussion of which [we]_4485-we could not bring half an appetite between [us]_4485-we ! Delightfully tired , [I]_4221-ma'am lay down , on three chairs for an hour [the room]_{600-the room} did not boast a sofa . [I]_4221-ma'am slept , then [I]_4221-ma'am woke and thought for two hours . [My]_4221-ma'am state of mind , and all accompanying circumstances , were just now such as most to favour the adoption of a new , resolute , and daring - perhaps desperate - line of action . [I]_4221-ma'am had nothing to lose . Unutterable loathing of a desolate existence past , forbade return . If [I]_4221-ma'am failed in what [I]_4221-ma'am now designed to undertake , who , save [myself]_4221-ma'am , would suffer ? If [I]_4221-ma'am died far away from - [home]_542-home , [I]_4221-ma'am was going to say , but [I]_4221-ma'am had no [home]_542-home - from [England]_19-england , then , who would weep ? [I]_4221-ma'am might suffer ; [I]_4221-ma'am was inured to suffering : death itself had not , [I]_4221-ma'am thought , those terrors for [me]_4221-ma'am which it has for the softly reared . [I]_4221-ma'am had , ere this , looked on the thought of death with a quiet eye . Prepared , then , for any consequences , [I]_4221-ma'am formed a project . That same evening [I]_4221-ma'am obtained from [[my]_4221-ma'am friend]_{801-my friend} , [the waiter]_{4443-the waiter} , information respecting , the sailing of [vessels]_4491-vessels for [a certain continental port]_{4492-a certain continental port} , [Boue - Marine]_{33-boue - marine} . No time , [I]_4221-ma'am found , was to be lost : that very night [I]_4221-ma'am must take [my]_4221-ma'am berth . [I]_4221-ma'am might , indeed , have waited till the morning before going on board , but would not run the risk of being too late . "_[4221-ma'am] Better take [your]_902-me berth at once , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am , " counselled [the waiter]_{4443-the waiter} . [I]_902-me agreed with [him]_{4443-the waiter} , and having discharged [my]_902-me bill , and acknowledged [[my]_902-me friend]_{801-my friend} 's services at a rate which [I]_902-me now know was princely , and which in [his]_{4443-the waiter} eyes must have seemed absurd - and indeed , while pocketing the cash , [he]_{4443-the waiter} smiled a faint smile which intimated [his]_{4443-the waiter} opinion of [the donor]_{4495-the donor} 's savoir - faire - [he]_{4443-the waiter} proceeded to call [a coach]_{4496-a coach} . To [the driver]_{4497-the driver} [he]_{4443-the waiter} also recommended [me]_902-me , giving at the same time an injunction about taking [me]_902-me , [I]_902-me think , to [the wharf]_{4498-the wharf} , and not leaving [me]_902-me to [the watermen]_{4499-the watermen} ; which [that functionary]_{4500-that functionary} promised to observe , but failed in keeping [his]_{4443-the waiter} promise : on the contrary , [he]_{4443-the waiter} offered [me]_902-me up as an oblation , served [me]_902-me as a dripping roast , making [me]_902-me alight in the midst of [a throng of [watermen]_{4502-watermen}]_{4501-a throng of watermen} . This was an uncomfortable crisis . It was a dark night . [The coachman]_{4503-the coachman} instantly drove off as soon as [he]_{4503-the coachman} had got [his]_{4503-the coachman} fare : [the watermen]_{4499-the watermen} commenced a struggle for [me]_902-me and [my]_902-me trunk . [Their]_{4499-the watermen} oaths [I]_902-me hear at this moment : [they]_{4499-the watermen} shook [my]_902-me philosophy more than did the night , or the isolation , or the strangeness of the scene . [One]_607-one laid hands on [my]_902-me trunk . [I]_902-me looked on and waited quietly ; but when [another laid hands]_{4506-another laid hands} on [me]_902-me , [I]_902-me spoke up , shook off [his]_{4506-another laid hands} touch , stepped at once into [a boat]_{4507-a boat} , desired austerely that the trunk should be placed beside [me]_902-me - "_[902-me] Just there , " - which was instantly done ; for [the owner of [the boat]_{4509-the boat} [I]_902-me had chosen]_{4508-the owner of the boat i had chosen} became now [an ally]_{4510-an ally} : [I]_902-me was rowed off . Black was [the river]_{4511-the river} as a torrent of ink ; lights glanced on [it]_{4511-the river} from the piles of building round , [ships]_4512-ships rocked on its bosom . [They]_4512-ships rowed [me]_902-me up to [several vessels]_{4513-several vessels} ; [I]_902-me read by lantern - light [their]_4512-ships names painted in great white letters on a dark ground . "_[902-me] [The Ocean]_{34-the ocean} , " "_[902-me] The Phoenix , " "_{[904-the consort]} [The Consort]_{904-the consort} , " "_{[904-the consort]} [The Dolphin]_{905-the dolphin} , " were passed in turns ; but "_{[174-the vivid "]} [The Vivid "]_{174-the vivid "} was [[my]_{174-the vivid "} ship]_{4514-my ship} , and it seemed [she]_{174-the vivid "} lay further down . Down the sable flood [we]_4515-we glided , [I]_{174-the vivid "} thought of [the Styx]_{175-the styx} , and of [Charon]_176-charon rowing [some solitary soul]_{4516-some solitary soul} to [the Land of Shades]_{35-the land of shades} . Amidst the strange scene , with a chilly wind blowing in [my]_{174-the vivid "} face and midnight clouds dropping rain above [my]_{174-the vivid "} head ; with [two rude rowers]_{4517-two rude rowers} for [companions]_{4518-companions} , whose insane oaths still tortured [my]_{174-the vivid "} ear , [I]_{174-the vivid "} asked [myself]_{174-the vivid "} if [I]_{174-the vivid "} was wretched or terrified . [I]_{174-the vivid "} was neither . Often in [my]_{174-the vivid "} life have [I]_{174-the vivid "} been far more so under comparatively safe circumstances . "_{[174-the vivid "]} How is this ? " said [I.]_{174-the vivid "} "_{[174-the vivid "]} Methinks [I]_0-i am animated and alert , instead of being depressed and apprehensive ? " [I]_{174-the vivid "} could not tell how it was . "_{[174-the vivid "]} THE VIVID " started out , white and glaring , from the black night at last . - "_{[174-the vivid "]} Here [you]_0-i are ! " said [the waterman]_{4519-the waterman} , and instantly demanded six shillings . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i ask too much , " [I]_{174-the vivid "} said . [He]_{4519-the waterman} drew off from [the vessel]_{4520-the vessel} and swore [he]_{4519-the waterman} would not embark [me]_{174-the vivid "} till [I]_{174-the vivid "} paid it . [A young man]_{4521-a young man} , [the steward as [I]_{174-the vivid "} found afterwards]_{4522-the steward as i found afterwards} , was looking over [the ship]_{766-the ship} 's side ; [he]_{4521-a young man} grinned a smile in anticipation of the coming contest ; to disappoint [him]_{4521-a young man} , [I]_{174-the vivid "} paid the money . Three times that afternoon [I]_{174-the vivid "} had given crowns where [I]_{174-the vivid "} should have given shillings ; but [I]_{174-the vivid "} consoled [myself]_{174-the vivid "} with the reflection , "_{[174-the vivid "]} It is the price of experience . " "_[906-i] [They]_906-i 've cheated [you]_0-i ! " said [the steward]_{4524-the steward} exultingly when [I]_906-i got on board . [I]_906-i answered phlegmatically that "_[906-i] [I]_0-i knew it , " and went below . [A stout , handsome , and showy woman]_{4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman} was in [[the ladies]_{4526-the ladies} ' cabin]_{4527-the ladies ' cabin} . [I]_906-i asked to be shown [[my]_906-i berth]_{4528-my berth} ; [she]_{4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman} looked hard at [me]_906-i , muttered something about its being unusual for [passengers]_{4529-passengers} to come on board at that hour , and seemed disposed to be less than civil . What a face [she]_{4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman} had - so comely - so insolent and so selfish ! "_[906-i] Now that [I]_0-i am on board , [I]_0-i shall certainly stay here , " was [my]_0-i answer . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will trouble [you]_907-you to show [me]_0-i [my]_0-i berth . " [She]_{4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman} complied , but sullenly . [I]_0-i took off [my]_0-i bonnet , arranged [my]_0-i things , and lay down . Some difficulties had been passed through ; a sort of victory was won : [my]_0-i homeless , anchorless , unsupported mind had again leisure for a brief repose . Till [the "_[0-i] Vivid "]_{4530-the " vivid "} arrived in [harbour]_4531-harbour , no further action would be required of [me]_{127-charlotte bronte} ; but then .... Oh ! [I]_{127-charlotte bronte} could not look forward . Harassed , exhausted , [I]_{127-charlotte bronte} lay in a half - trance . [The stewardess]_{4532-the stewardess} talked all night ; not to [me]_{127-charlotte bronte} but to [the young steward]_{4533-the young steward} , [[her]_{4532-the stewardess} son]_{532-her son} and [her]_{4532-the stewardess} very picture . [He]_{532-her son} passed in and out of [the cabin]_{4535-the cabin} continually : [they]_4536-they disputed , [they]_4536-they quarrelled , [they]_4536-they made it up again twenty times in the course of the night . [She]_{4532-the stewardess} professed to be writing a letter [home]_542-home - [she]_{4532-the stewardess} said to [[her]_{4532-the stewardess} father]_{643-her father} ; [she]_{4532-the stewardess} read passages of it aloud , heeding [me]_{127-charlotte bronte} no more than a stock - perhaps [she]_{4532-the stewardess} believed [me]_{127-charlotte bronte} asleep . Several of these passages appeared to comprise family secrets , and bore special reference to one "_{[127-charlotte bronte]} [Charlotte]_{127-charlotte bronte} , " [a younger sister who , from the bearing of the epistle , seemed to be on the brink of perpetrating a romantic and imprudent match]_{4539-a younger sister who , from the bearing of the epistle , seemed to be on the brink of perpetrating a romantic and imprudent match} ; loud was the protest of [this elder lady]_{4540-this elder lady} against the distasteful union . [The dutiful son]_{4541-the dutiful son} laughed [[his]_{4541-the dutiful son} mother]_{534-his mother} 's correspondence to scorn . [She]_{4532-the stewardess} defended it , and raved at [him]_{4541-the dutiful son} . [They]_4536-they were [a strange pair]_{4543-a strange pair} . [She]_{4532-the stewardess} might be thirty - nine or forty , and was buxom and blooming as [a girl of twenty]_{4544-a girl of twenty} . Hard , loud , vain and vulgar , [her]_{4532-the stewardess} mind and body alike seemed brazen and imperishable . [I]_{177-the watsons} should think , from [her]_{4532-the stewardess} childhood , [she]_{4532-the stewardess} must have lived in [public stations]_{4545-public stations} ; and in [her]_{4532-the stewardess} youth might very likely have been [a barmaid]_{4546-a barmaid} . Towards morning [her]_{4532-the stewardess} discourse ran on a new theme : "_{[177-the watsons]} [the Watsons]_{177-the watsons} , " a certain expected family - party of [passengers]_{4529-passengers} , known to [her]_{4532-the stewardess} , it appeared , and by [her]_{4532-the stewardess} much esteemed on account of the handsome profit realized in [their]_{4529-passengers} fees . [She]_{4532-the stewardess} said , "_{[177-the watsons]} It was as good as a little fortune to [her]_908-her whenever [this family]_{909-this family} crossed . " At dawn all were astir , and by sunrise [the passengers]_{621-the passengers} came on board . Boisterous was the welcome given by [the stewardess]_{4532-the stewardess} to [the "_{[177-the watsons]} Watsons]_{177-the watsons} , " and great was the bustle made in [their]_{177-the watsons} honour . [They]_{177-the watsons} were four in number , [two males]_{4550-two males} and [two females]_{4551-two females} . Besides [them]_{177-the watsons} , there was but [one other passenger]_{4552-one other passenger} - [a young lady , whom [a gentlemanly , though languid- looking man]_{4554-a gentlemanly , though languid- looking man} escorted]_{4553-a young lady , whom a gentlemanly , though languid- looking man escorted} . [The two groups]_{4555-the two groups} offered a marked contrast . [The Watsons]_{4556-the watsons} were [doubtless rich people]_{4557-doubtless rich people} , for [they]_{4556-the watsons} had the confidence of conscious wealth in [their]_{4556-the watsons} bearing ; [the women]_{4558-the women} - youthful both of [them]_{177-the watsons} , and [one perfectly handsome , as far as physical beauty]_{4559-one perfectly handsome , as far as physical beauty} went - were dressed richly , gaily , and absurdly out of character for the circumstances . [Their]_{4556-the watsons} bonnets with bright flowers , [their]_{4556-the watsons} velvet cloaks and silk dresses , seemed better suited for [park]_4560-park or promenade than for [a damp packet deck]_{4561-a damp packet deck} . [The men]_{4562-the men} were of low stature , plain , fat , and vulgar ; the oldest , plainest , greasiest , broadest , [I]_910-her soon found was [the husband]_{4563-the husband} - [the bridegroom]_{4564-the bridegroom} [I]_910-her suppose , for [she]_910-her was very young - of [the beautiful girl]_{4565-the beautiful girl} . Deep was [my]_910-her amazement at this discovery ; and deeper still when [I]_910-her perceived that , instead of being desperately wretched in such a union , [she]_910-her was gay even to giddiness . "_[910-her] [Her]_910-her laughter , " [I]_910-her reflected , "_[910-her] must be the mere frenzy of despair . " And even while this thought was crossing [my]_910-her mind , as [I]_910-her stood leaning quiet and solitary against [the ship]_{766-the ship} 's side , [she]_910-her came tripping up to [me]_910-her , [an utter stranger]_{4567-an utter stranger} , with a camp - stool in [her]_910-her hand , and smiling a smile of which the levity puzzled and startled [me]_910-her , though it showed a perfect set of perfect teeth , [she]_910-her offered [me]_910-her the accommodation of this piece of furniture . [I]_910-her declined it of course , with all the courtesy [I]_910-her could put into [my]_910-her manner ; [she]_910-her danced off heedless and lightsome . [She]_910-her must have been good - natured ; but what had made [her]_910-her marry [that individual]_{4568-that individual} , who was at least as much like [an oil - barrel]_{4569-an oil - barrel} as [a man]_{823-a man} ? [The other lady passenger]_{4571-the other lady passenger} , with [the gentleman - companion]_{4572-the gentleman - companion} , was quite [a girl]_{517-a girl} , pretty and fair : [her]_910-her simple print dress , untrimmed straw - bonnet and large shawl , gracefully worn , formed a costume plain to quakerism : yet , for [her]_910-her , becoming enough . Before [the gentleman]_{4574-the gentleman} quitted [her]_910-her , [I]_910-her observed [him]_{4574-the gentleman} throwing a glance of scrutiny over [all the passengers]_{4575-all the passengers} , as if to ascertain in what company [his]_{4574-the gentleman} charge would be left . With a most dissatisfied air did [his]_{4574-the gentleman} eye turn from [the ladies with the gay flowers]_{4576-the ladies with the gay flowers} ; [he]_{4574-the gentleman} looked at [me]_910-her , and then [he]_{4574-the gentleman} spoke to [[his]_{4574-the gentleman} daughter]_{686-his daughter} , [niece]_4578-niece , or whatever [she]_910-her was : [she]_910-her also glanced in [my]_910-her direction , and slightly curled [her]_910-her short , pretty lip . It might be [myself]_910-her , or it might be [my]_910-her homely mourning habit , that elicited this mark of contempt ; more likely , both . A bell rang ; [[her]_910-her father]_{643-her father} [I]_910-her afterwards knew that it was [[her]_910-her father]_{643-her father} kissed [her]_910-her , and returned to [land]_4581-land . [The packet]_{4582-the packet} sailed . [Foreigners]_{4583-foreigners} say that it is only [English girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is [their]_{4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians} wonder at the daring confidence of [English parents]_{4585-english parents} and [guardians]_{4586-guardians}]_{4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians} . As for the "_[910-her] jeunes Meess , " by some [their]_{4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians} intrepidity is pronounced masculine and "_[910-her] inconvenant , " others regard [them]_{4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians} as the passive victims of an educational and theological system which wantonly dispenses with proper ' surveillance . "_[910-her] Whether [this particular young lady]_{911-this particular young lady} was of the sort that can the most safely be left unwatched , [I]_0-i do not know : or , rather did not then know ; but it soon appeared that the dignity of solitude was not to [her]_{911-this particular young lady} taste . [She]_{911-this particular young lady} paced [the deck]_{912-the deck} once or twice backwards and forwards ; [she]_{911-this particular young lady} looked with a little sour air of disdain at the flaunting silks and velvets , and the bears which thereon danced attendance , and eventually [she]_{911-this particular young lady} approached [me]_0-i and spoke . " Are [you]_0-i fond of a sea - voyage ? "_{[911-this particular young lady]} was [her]_{911-this particular young lady} question . [I]_0-i explained that [my]_0-i fondness for a sea - voyage had yet to undergo the test of experience ; [I]_0-i had never made one . " Oh , how charming ! "_{[911-this particular young lady]} cried [she]_{911-this particular young lady} . " [I]_{911-this particular young lady} quite envy [you]_0-i the novelty : first impressions , [you]_0-i know , are so pleasant . Now [I]_{911-this particular young lady} have made so many , [I]_{911-this particular young lady} quite forget the first : [I]_{911-this particular young lady} am quite blasee about [the sea]_{725-the sea} and all that . "_{[911-this particular young lady]} [I]_0-i could not help smiling . " Why do [you]_0-i laugh at [me]_{911-this particular young lady} ? "_{[911-this particular young lady]} [she]_{911-this particular young lady} inquired , with a frank testiness that pleased [me]_0-i better than [her]_{911-this particular young lady} other talk . " Because [you]_0-i are so young to be blasee about anything . "_{[911-this particular young lady]} " [I]_{911-this particular young lady} am seventeen "_{[911-this particular young lady]} a little piqued . " [You]_0-i hardly look sixteen . Do [you]_0-i like travelling alone ? "_{[911-this particular young lady]} " Bah ! [I]_{911-this particular young lady} care nothing about it . [I]_{911-this particular young lady} have crossed [the Channel]_{4588-the channel} ten times , alone ; but then [I]_{911-this particular young lady} take care never to be long alone : [I]_{911-this particular young lady} always make [friends]_533-friends . "_{[911-this particular young lady]} " [You]_0-i will scarcely make [many friends]_{4590-many friends} this voyage , [I]_{911-this particular young lady} think "_{[911-this particular young lady]} glancing at [the Watson - group]_{913-the watson - group} , who were now laughing and making a great deal of noise on [deck]_914-deck . " Not of [those odious men]_{4591-those odious men} and [women]_4398-women , "_{[911-this particular young lady]} said [she]_{911-this particular young lady} : ' [such people]_{915-such people} should be [steerage passengers]_{916-steerage passengers} . Are [you]_917-you going to [school]_675-school ? " "_{[911-this particular young lady]} No . " "_{[911-this particular young lady]} Where are [you]_917-you going ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have not the least idea - beyond , at least , [the port of [Boue- Marine]_{36-boue- marine}]_{919-the port of boue- marine} . " [She]_{911-this particular young lady} stared , then carelessly ran on : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am going to [school]_675-school . Oh , the number of [foreign schools [I]_0-i have been at in [my]_0-i life]_{921-foreign schools i have been at in my life} ! And yet [I]_0-i am quite [an ignoramus]_{922-an ignoramus} . [I]_0-i know nothing - nothing in [the world]_{811-the world} - [I]_0-i assure [you]_924-you ; except that [I]_0-i play and dance beautifully , - and French and German of course [I]_0-i know , to speak ; but [I]_0-i ca n't read or write them very well . Do [you]_924-you know [they]_925-they wanted [me]_0-i to translate a page of an easy German book into English the other day , and [I]_0-i could n't do it . [Papa]_140-papa was so mortified : [he]_140-papa says it looks as if [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} - [[my]_0-i godpapa]_{926-my godpapa} , who pays all [my]_0-i school - bills - had thrown away all [his]_140-papa money . And then , in matters of information - in history , geography , arithmetic , and so on , [I]_0-i am quite [a baby]_{927-a baby} ; and [I]_0-i write English so badly - such spelling and grammar , [they]_925-they tell [me]_0-i . Into the bargain [I]_0-i have quite forgotten [my]_0-i religion ; [they]_925-they call [me]_0-i [a Protestant]_{928-a protestant} , [you]_929-you know , but really [I]_0-i am not sure whether [I]_0-i am [one]_607-one or not : [I]_0-i do n't well know the difference between Romanism and Protestantism . However , [I]_0-i do n't in the least care for that . [I]_0-i was [a Lutheran]_{931-a lutheran} once at [Bonn]_37-bonn - dear [Bonn]_37-bonn ! - charming [Bonn]_37-bonn ! - where there were [so many handsome students]_{932-so many handsome students} . [Every nice girl in [our]_934-our school]_{933-every nice girl in our school} had [an admirer]_{935-an admirer} ; [they]_{935-an admirer} knew [our]_934-our hours for walking out , and almost always passed [us]_934-our on [the promenade]_{936-the promenade} : ' [Schoenes Maedchen]_{38-schoenes maedchen} , ' [we]_934-our used to hear [them]_{935-an admirer} say . [I]_0-i was excessively happy at [Bonn]_37-bonn ! " "_[0-i] And where are [you]_0-i now ? " [I]_0-i inquired . "_[0-i] Oh ! at - chose , " said [she]_{933-every nice girl in our school} . Now , [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra such was [this young person]_{4593-this young person} 's name only substituted this word "_[0-i] chose " in temporary oblivion of the real name . It was a habit [she]_{933-every nice girl in our school} had : "_{[935-an admirer]} chose " came in at every turn in [her]_{933-every nice girl in our school} conversation - the convenient substitute for any missing word in any language [she]_{933-every nice girl in our school} might chance at the time to be speaking . [French girls]_{4594-french girls} often do the like ; from [them]_{4594-french girls} [she]_{933-every nice girl in our school} had caught the custom . "_[0-i] Chose , " however , [I]_0-i found in this instance , stood for [Villette]_3-villette - [the great capital of [the great kingdom of Labassecour]_{4596-the great kingdom of labassecour}]_{4595-the great capital of the great kingdom of labassecour} . "_[0-i] Do [you]_0-i like [Villette]_3-villette ? " [I]_0-i asked . "_[0-i] Pretty well . [The natives]_{937-the natives} , [you]_0-i know , are intensely stupid and vulgar ; but there are [some nice English families]_{938-some nice english families} . " "_{[938-some nice english families]} Are [you]_0-i in [a school]_{939-a school} ? " "_[0-i] Yes . " "_{[940-a good one]} [A good one]_{940-a good one} ? " "_{[940-a good one]} Oh , no ! horrid : but [I]_0-i go out every Sunday , and care nothing about [the maitresses]_{941-the maitresses} or [the professeurs]_{942-the professeurs} , or [the eleves]_{943-the eleves} , and send lessons au diable one dare n't say that in English , [you]_0-i know , but it sounds quite right in French ; and thus [I]_0-i get on charmingly .... [You]_0-i are laughing at [me]_0-i again ? " "_[0-i] No - [I]_0-i am only smiling at [my]_0-i own thoughts . " "_[0-i] What are [they]_944-they ? " Without waiting for an answer - "_[0-i] Now , do tell [me]_0-i where [you]_0-i are going . " "_[0-i] Where [Fate]_159-fate may lead [me]_0-i . [My]_0-i business is to earn a living where [I]_0-i can find it . " "_[0-i] To earn ! " in consternation "_[0-i] are [you]_0-i poor , then ? " "_[0-i] As poor as [Job]_180-job . " After a pause - "_[0-i] Bah ! how unpleasant ! But [I]_0-i know what it is to be poor : [they]_945-they are poor enough at [home]_542-home - [papa]_4218-papa and [mamma]_4272-mamma , and all of [them]_945-they . [Papa]_140-papa is called [Captain Fanshawe]_{181-captain fanshawe} ; [he]_140-papa is [an officer on half - pay]_{949-an officer on half - pay} , but well - descended , and some of [our]_950-us connections are great enough ; but [[my]_0-i uncle]_{4462-my uncle} and [godpapa De Bassompierre]_{182-godpapa de bassompierre} , who lives in [France]_15-france , is the only one that helps [us]_950-us : [he]_{182-godpapa de bassompierre} educates [[us]_950-us [girls]_702-girls]_{952-us girls} . [I]_0-i have [five sisters]_{954-five sisters} and [three brothers]_{955-three brothers} . By - and - by [we]_950-us are to marry - [rather elderly gentlemen]_{956-rather elderly gentlemen} , [I]_0-i suppose , with cash : [papa]_4218-papa and [mamma]_4272-mamma manage that . [[My]_0-i sister]_{959-my sister} [Augusta]_183-augusta is married now to [a man much older - looking than [papa]_4218-papa]_{960-a man much older - looking than papa} . [Augusta]_183-augusta is very beautiful - not in [my]_0-i style - but dark ; [[her]_183-augusta husband]_{509-her husband} , [Mr. Davies]_{184-mr. davies} , had the yellow fever in [India]_39-india , and [he]_{184-mr. davies} is still the colour of a guinea ; but then [he]_{184-mr. davies} is rich , and [Augusta]_183-augusta has [[her]_183-augusta carriage]_{963-her carriage} and establishment , and [we]_964-we all think [she]_183-augusta has done perfectly well . Now , this is better than ' earning a living , ' as [you]_0-i say . By the way , are [you]_0-i clever ? " "_[0-i] No - not at all . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i can play , sing , speak three or four languages ? " "_[0-i] By no means . " "_[0-i] Still [I]_0-i think [you]_0-i are clever " a pause and a yawn . "_[0-i] Shall [you]_0-i be sea - sick ? " "_[0-i] Shall [you]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] Oh , immensely ! as soon as ever [we]_964-we get in sight of [the sea]_{725-the sea} : [I]_0-i begin , indeed , to feel it already . [I]_0-i shall go below ; and wo n't [I]_0-i order about [that fat odious stewardess]_{966-that fat odious stewardess} ! Heureusement je sais faire aller mon monde . " Down [she]_{966-that fat odious stewardess} went . It was not long before [the other passengers]_{4597-the other passengers} followed [her]_{966-that fat odious stewardess} : throughout the afternoon [I]_967-i remained on [deck]_914-deck alone . When [I]_967-i recall the tranquil , and even happy mood in which [I]_967-i passed those hours , and remember , at the same time , the position in which [I]_967-i was placed ; [its]_{725-the sea} hazardous - some would have said its hopeless - character ; [I]_967-i feel that , as - Stone walls do not a prison make , Nor iron bars - a cage , so peril , loneliness , an uncertain future , are not oppressive evils , so long as the frame is healthy and the faculties are employed ; so long , especially , as [Liberty]_185-liberty lends [us]_964-we [her]_185-liberty wings , and [Hope]_186-hope guides [us]_964-we by [her]_185-liberty star . [I]_967-i was not sick till long after [we]_964-we passed [Margate]_40-margate , and deep was the pleasure [I]_967-i drank in with the sea - breeze ; divine the delight [I]_967-i drew from the heaving Channel waves , from the sea - birds on their ridges , from the white sails on [their]_{4597-the other passengers} dark distance , from the quiet yet beclouded sky , overhanging all . In [my]_967-i reverie , methought [I]_967-i saw [the continent of [Europe]_17-europe]_{4599-the continent of europe} , like [a wide dream - land , far away]_{4600-a wide dream - land , far away} . [Sunshine]_41-sunshine lay on [it]_{4599-the continent of europe} , making [the long coast]_{4601-the long coast} one line of gold ; tiniest tracery of [clustered town]_{4602-clustered town} and snow - gleaming tower , of woods deep massed , of heights serrated , of smooth pasturage and veiny stream , embossed the metal - bright prospect . For background , spread a sky , solemn and dark blue , and - grand with imperial promise , soft with tints of enchantment - strode from north to south a God - bent bow , an arch of hope . Cancel the whole of that , if [you]_4603-you please , [reader]_4604-reader - or rather let it stand , and draw thence a moral - an alliterative , text - hand copy - Day - dreams are delusions of the demon . Becoming excessively sick , [I]_967-i faltered down into [the cabin]_{4535-the cabin} . [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's berth chanced to be next [mine]_967-i ; and , [I]_967-i am sorry to say , [she]_179-ginevra tormented [me]_967-i with an unsparing selfishness during the whole time of [our]_4606-our mutual distress . Nothing could exceed [her]_179-ginevra impatience and fretfulness . [The Watsons]_{177-the watsons} , who were very sick too , and on whom [the stewardess]_{4532-the stewardess} attended with shameless partiality , were stoics compared with [her]_179-ginevra . Many a time since have [I]_967-i noticed , in [persons of [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra]_{4608-persons of ginevra fanshawe} 's light , careless temperament , and fair , fragile style of beauty , an entire incapacity to endure : [they]_{4608-persons of ginevra fanshawe} seem to sour in adversity , like small beer in thunder . [The man who takes such [a woman]_{4363-a woman} for [[his]_{4609-the man who takes such a woman for his wife} wife]_{4611-his wife}]_{4609-the man who takes such a woman for his wife} , ought to be prepared to guarantee [her]_{4363-a woman} an existence all sunshine . Indignant at last with [her]_179-ginevra teasing peevishness , [I]_967-i curtly requested [her]_179-ginevra "_[967-i] to hold [her]_967-i tongue . " The rebuff did [her]_179-ginevra good , and it was observable that [she]_179-ginevra liked [me]_967-i no worse for it . As dark night drew on , [the sea]_{725-the sea} roughened : larger waves swayed strong against [the vessel]_{4520-the vessel} 's side . It was strange to reflect that blackness and water were round [us]_969-us , and to feel [the ship]_{766-the ship} ploughing straight on [her]_179-ginevra pathless way , despite noise , billow , and rising gale . Articles of furniture began to fall about , and it became needful to lash [them]_4615-them to [their]_4615-them places ; [the passengers]_{621-the passengers} grew sicker than ever ; [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra declared , with groans , that [she]_179-ginevra must die . "_[967-i] Not just yet , [honey]_968-honey , " said [the stewardess]_{4532-the stewardess} . "_[968-honey] [We]_969-us 're just in port . " Accordingly , in another quarter of an hour , a calm fell upon [us]_969-us all ; and about midnight the voyage ended . [I]_968-honey was sorry : yes , [I]_968-honey was sorry . [My]_968-honey resting - time was past ; [my]_968-honey difficulties - [my]_968-honey stringent difficulties - recommenced . When [I]_968-honey went on [deck]_914-deck , the cold air and black scowl of the night seemed to rebuke [me]_968-honey for [my]_968-honey presumption in being where [I]_968-honey was : the lights of [the foreign sea]_{4619-the foreign sea} - [port town]_{4620-port town} , glimmering round [the foreign harbour]_{4621-the foreign harbour} , met [me]_968-honey like unnumbered threatening eyes . [Friends]_533-friends came on board to welcome [the Watsons]_{177-the watsons} ; [a whole family of]_{4623-a whole family of} [friends]_533-friends surrounded and bore away [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ; [I]_968-honey - but [I]_968-honey dared not for one moment dwell on a comparison of positions . Yet where should [I]_968-honey go ? [I]_968-honey must go somewhere . Necessity dare not be nice . As [I]_968-honey gave [the stewardess]_{4532-the stewardess} [her]_{4532-the stewardess} fee - and [she]_{4532-the stewardess} seemed surprised at receiving a coin of more value than , from such a quarter , [her]_{4532-the stewardess} coarse calculations had probably reckoned on - [I]_968-honey said , "_[968-honey] Be kind enough to direct [me]_0-i to [some quiet , respectable inn]_{970-some quiet , respectable inn} , where [I]_0-i can go for the night . " [She]_{4532-the stewardess} not only gave [me]_968-honey the required direction , but called [a commissionaire]_{4626-a commissionaire} , and bid [him]_{4626-a commissionaire} take charge of [me]_968-honey , and - not [my]_968-honey trunk , for that was gone to [the custom - house]_{4627-the custom - house} . [I]_968-honey followed [this man]_{4628-this man} along [a rudely - paved street , lit now by a fitful gleam of moonlight]_{4629-a rudely - paved street , lit now by a fitful gleam of moonlight} ; [he]_{4628-this man} brought [me]_968-honey to [the inn]_{4630-the inn} . [I]_968-honey offered [him]_{4628-this man} sixpence , which [he]_{4628-this man} refused to take ; supposing it not enough , [I]_968-honey changed it for a shilling ; but this also [he]_{4628-this man} declined , speaking rather sharply , in a language to [me]_968-honey unknown . [A waiter]_{4631-a waiter} , coming forward into [the lamp - lit inn - passage]_{4632-the lamp - lit inn - passage} , reminded [me]_968-honey , in broken English , that [my]_968-honey money was foreign money , not current here . [I]_968-honey gave [him]_{4628-this man} a sovereign to change . This little matter settled , [I]_968-honey asked for [a bedroom]_{4633-a bedroom} ; supper [I]_968-honey could not take : [I]_968-honey was still sea - sick and unnerved , and trembling all over . How deeply glad [I]_968-honey was when the door of [a very small chamber]_{4634-a very small chamber} at length closed on [me]_968-honey and [my]_968-honey exhaustion . Again [I]_968-honey might rest : though the cloud of doubt would be as thick to - morrow as ever ; the necessity for exertion more urgent , the peril of destitution nearer , the conflict for existence more severe . CHAPTER VII . VILLETTE . [I]_968-honey awoke next morning with courage revived and spirits refreshed : physical debility no longer enervated [my]_968-honey judgment ; [my]_968-honey mind felt prompt and clear . Just as [I]_968-honey finished dressing , a tap came to the door : [I]_968-honey said , "_[968-honey] Come in , " expecting [the chambermaid]_{4445-the chambermaid} , whereas [a rough man]_{4636-a rough man} walked in and said , - "_[968-honey] Gif [me]_0-i [your]_0-i keys , [Meess]_{187-meess lucie} . " "_{[187-meess lucie]} Why ? " [I]_{187-meess lucie} asked . "_{[187-meess lucie]} Gif ! " said [he]_{4636-a rough man} impatiently ; and as [he]_{4636-a rough man} half - snatched them from [my]_{187-meess lucie} hand , [he]_{4636-a rough man} added , "_{[187-meess lucie]} All right ! haf [your]_0-i tronc soon . " Fortunately it did turn out all right : [he]_{4636-a rough man} was from [the custom - house]_{4627-the custom - house} . Where to go to get some breakfast [I]_189-anglaise could not tell ; but [I]_189-anglaise proceeded , not without hesitation , to descend . [I]_189-anglaise now observed , what [I]_189-anglaise had not noticed in [my]_189-anglaise extreme weariness last night , viz . that [this inn]_{4638-this inn} was , in fact , [a large hotel]_{4639-a large hotel} ; and as [I]_189-anglaise slowly descended the broad staircase , halting on each step for [I]_189-anglaise was in wonderfully little haste to get down , [I]_189-anglaise gazed at the high ceiling above [me]_189-anglaise , at the painted walls around , at the wide windows which filled [the house with light]_{4640-the house with light} , at the veined marble [I]_189-anglaise trod for the steps were all of marble , though uncarpeted and not very clean , and contrasting all this with the dimensions of [the closet assigned to [me]_189-anglaise as [a chamber]_{4642-a chamber}]_{4641-the closet assigned to me as a chamber} , with the extreme modesty of [its]_{4642-a chamber} appointments , [I]_189-anglaise fell into a philosophizing mood . Much [I]_189-anglaise marvelled at the sagacity evinced by [waiters]_4643-waiters and [chamber - maids]_{4644-chamber - maids} in proportioning the accommodation to [the guest]_{4645-the guest} . How could [inn- servants]_{4646-inn- servants} and [ship - stewardesses]_{4647-ship - stewardesses} everywhere tell at a glance that [I]_189-anglaise , for instance , was [an individual of no social significance , and little burdened by cash]_{4648-an individual of no social significance , and little burdened by cash} ? [They]_4649-they did know it evidently : [I]_189-anglaise saw quite well that [they]_4649-they all , in a moment 's calculation , estimated [me]_189-anglaise at about the same fractional value . The fact seemed to [me]_189-anglaise curious and pregnant : [I]_189-anglaise would not disguise from [myself]_189-anglaise what it indicated , yet managed to keep up [my]_189-anglaise spirits pretty well under its pressure . Having at last landed in [a great hall]_{4650-a great hall} , full of skylight glare , [I]_189-anglaise made [my]_189-anglaise way somehow to what proved to be [the coffee - room]_{4651-the coffee - room} . It can not be denied that on entering [this room]_{740-this room} [I]_189-anglaise trembled somewhat ; felt uncertain , solitary , wretched ; wished to [Heaven]_188-heaven [I]_189-anglaise knew whether [I]_189-anglaise was doing right or wrong ; felt convinced that it was the last , but could not help [myself]_189-anglaise . Acting in the spirit and with the calm of [a fatalist]_{4653-a fatalist} , [I]_189-anglaise sat down at a small table , to which [a waiter]_{4631-a waiter} presently brought [me]_189-anglaise some breakfast ; and [I]_189-anglaise partook of that meal in a frame of mind not greatly calculated to favour digestion . There were [many other people]_{4655-many other people} breakfasting at other tables in [the room]_{600-the room} ; [I]_189-anglaise should have felt rather more happy if amongst [them]_{4655-many other people} all [I]_189-anglaise could have seen [any women]_{4657-any women} ; however , there was [not one]_{4658-not one} - [all present]_{4659-all present} were [men]_4397-men . But [nobody]_4256-nobody seemed to think [I]_189-anglaise was doing anything strange ; [one or two gentlemen]_{4662-one or two gentlemen} glanced at [me]_189-anglaise occasionally , but [none]_4383-none stared obtrusively : [I]_189-anglaise suppose if there was anything eccentric in the business , [they]_{4662-one or two gentlemen} accounted for it by this word "_{[189-anglaise]} [Anglaise]_189-anglaise ! " Breakfast over , [I]_189-anglaise must again move - in what direction ? "_{[189-anglaise]} Go to [Villette]_3-villette , " said an inward voice ; prompted doubtless by the recollection of this slight sentence uttered carelessly and at random by [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , as [she]_179-ginevra bid [me]_0-i good - by : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [you]_971-you would come to [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's]_{972-madame beck 's} ; [she]_190-madame has [some marmots whom [you]_971-you might look after]_{973-some marmots whom you might look after} ; [she]_190-madame wants [an English gouvernante]_{974-an english gouvernante} , or was wanting one two months ago . " Who [Madame Beck]_190-madame was , where [she]_190-madame lived , [I]_190-madame knew not ; [I]_190-madame had asked , but the question passed unheard : [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , hurried away by [[her]_179-ginevra friends]_{4664-her friends} , left it unanswered . [I]_190-madame presumed [Villette]_3-villette to be [[her]_179-ginevra residence]_{4665-her residence} - to [Villette]_3-villette [I]_190-madame would go . The distance was forty miles . [I]_190-madame knew [I]_190-madame was catching at straws ; but in [the wide and weltering deep where [I]_190-madame found [myself]_190-madame]_{4666-the wide and weltering deep where i found myself} , [I]_190-madame would have caught at cobwebs . Having inquired about the means of travelling to [Villette]_3-villette , and secured a seat in the diligence , [I]_190-madame departed on the strength of this outline - this shadow of a project . Before [you]_4667-you pronounce on the rashness of the proceeding , [reader]_4604-reader , look back to the point whence [I]_190-madame started ; consider the desert [I]_190-madame had left , note how little [I]_190-madame perilled : [mine]_190-madame was the game where [the player]_{4669-the player} can not lose and may win . Of an artistic temperament , [I]_190-madame deny that [I]_190-madame am ; yet [I]_190-madame must possess something of [the artist]_{4670-the artist} 's faculty of making the most of present pleasure : that is to say , when it is of the kind to [my]_190-madame taste . [I]_190-madame enjoyed that day , though [we]_4671-we travelled slowly , though it was cold , though it rained . Somewhat bare , flat , and treeless was the route along which [our]_4671-we journey lay ; and [slimy canals]_{4672-slimy canals} crept , like half - torpid green snakes , beside [the road]_{4673-the road} ; and formal pollard willows edged [level fields]_{4674-level fields} , tilled like [kitchen - garden beds]_{4675-kitchen - garden beds} . The sky , too , was monotonously gray ; the atmosphere was stagnant and humid ; yet amidst all these deadening influences , [my]_190-madame fancy budded fresh and [my]_190-madame heart basked in sunshine . These feelings , however , were well kept in check by the secret but ceaseless consciousness of anxiety lying in wait on enjoyment , like a tiger crouched in a jungle . The breathing of that beast of prey was in [my]_190-madame ear always ; [his]_{4670-the artist} fierce heart panted close against [mine]_190-madame ; [he]_{4670-the artist} never stirred in [[his]_{4670-the artist} lair]_{4676-his lair} but [I]_190-madame felt [him]_{4670-the artist} : [I]_190-madame knew [he]_{4670-the artist} waited only for sun - down to bound ravenous from [his]_{4670-the artist} ambush . [I]_190-madame had hoped [we]_4671-we might reach [Villette]_3-villette ere night set in , and that thus [I]_190-madame might escape the deeper embarrassment which obscurity seems to throw round a first arrival at [an unknown bourne]_{4677-an unknown bourne} ; but , what with [our]_4671-we slow progress and long stoppages - what with a thick fog and small , dense rain - darkness , that might almost be felt , had settled on [the city]_{4429-the city} by the time [we]_4671-we gained [[its]_{4429-the city} suburbs]_{4679-its suburbs} . [I]_190-madame know [we]_4671-we passed through a gate where [soldiers]_{4680-soldiers} were stationed - so much [I]_190-madame could see by lamplight ; then , having left behind [us]_4671-we the miry Chaussee , [we]_4671-we rattled over a pavement of strangely rough and flinty surface . At [a bureau]_{4681-a bureau} , the diligence stopped , and [the passengers]_{621-the passengers} alighted . [My]_190-madame first business was to get [my]_190-madame trunk ; a small matter enough , but important to [me]_190-madame . Understanding that it was best not to be importunate or over - eager about luggage , but to wait and watch quietly the delivery of other boxes till [I]_190-madame saw [my]_190-madame own , and then promptly claim and secure it , [I]_190-madame stood apart ; [my]_190-madame eye fixed on that part of [the vehicle]_{4683-the vehicle} in which [I]_190-madame had seen [my]_190-madame little portmanteau safely stowed , and upon which piles of additional bags and boxes were now heaped . One by one , [I]_190-madame saw these removed , lowered , and seized on . [I]_190-madame was sure [mine]_190-madame ought to be by this time visible : it was not . [I]_190-madame had tied on the direction - card with a piece of green ribbon , that [I]_190-madame might know it at a glance : not a fringe or fragment of green was perceptible . Every package was removed ; every tin - case and brown - paper parcel ; the oilcloth cover was lifted ; [I]_190-madame saw with distinct vision that not an umbrella , cloak , cane , hat - box or band - box remained . And [my]_190-madame portmanteau , with [my]_190-madame few clothes and little pocket - book enclasping the remnant of [my]_190-madame fifteen pounds , where were [they]_{621-the passengers} ? [I]_190-madame ask this question now , but [I]_190-madame could not ask it then . [I]_190-madame could say nothing whatever ; not possessing a phrase of speaking French : and it was French , and French only , [the whole world]_{4684-the whole world} seemed now gabbling around [me]_190-madame . What should [I]_190-madame do ? Approaching [the conductor]_{4685-the conductor} , [I]_190-madame just laid [my]_190-madame hand on [his]_{4685-the conductor} arm , pointed to a trunk , thence to the diligence - roof , and tried to express a question with [my]_190-madame eyes . [He]_{4685-the conductor} misunderstood [me]_190-madame , seized the trunk indicated , and was about to hoist it on [the vehicle]_{4683-the vehicle} . "_[190-madame] Let that alone - will [you]_975-you ? " said a voice in good English ; then , in correction , "_[975-you] Qu'est - ce que vous faites donc ? Cette malle est a moi . " But [I]_976-sir had heard the Fatherland accents ; [they]_4687-they rejoiced [my]_976-sir heart ; [I]_976-sir turned : "_[976-sir] [Sir]_976-sir , " said [I]_976-sir , appealing to [the stranger]_{4688-the stranger} , without , in [my]_976-sir distress , noticing what [he]_{4688-the stranger} was like , "_[976-sir] [I]_0-i can not speak French . May [I]_0-i entreat [you]_976-sir to ask [this man]_{4628-this man} what [he]_{4628-this man} has done with [my]_0-i trunk ? " Without discriminating , for the moment , what sort of face it was to which [my]_{4628-this man} eyes were raised and on which they were fixed , [I]_{4628-this man} felt in [its]_{4688-the stranger} expression half - surprise at [my]_{4628-this man} appeal and half - doubt of the wisdom of interference . "_{[4628-this man]} Do ask [him]_{4628-this man} ; [I]_0-i would do as much for [you]_976-sir , " said I. [I]_0-i do n't know whether [he]_{4688-the stranger} smiled , but [he]_{4688-the stranger} said in a gentlemanly tone - that is to say , a tone not hard nor terrifying , - "_[0-i] What sort of trunk was [yours]_0-i ? " [I]_{4628-this man} described it , including in [my]_{4628-this man} description the green ribbon . And forthwith [he]_{4688-the stranger} took [the conductor]_{4685-the conductor} under hand , and [I]_{4628-this man} felt , through all the storm of French which followed , that [he]_{4688-the stranger} raked [him]_{4688-the stranger} fore and aft . Presently [he]_{4688-the stranger} returned to [me]_{4628-this man} . "_{[4628-this man]} [The fellow avers]_{978-the fellow avers} [he]_{4628-this man} was overloaded , and confesses that [he]_{4628-this man} removed [your]_0-i trunk after [you]_0-i saw it put on , and has left it behind at [Boue- Marine]_{36-boue- marine} with other parcels ; [he]_{4628-this man} has promised , however , to forward it to - morrow ; the day after , therefore , [you]_0-i will find it safe at [this bureau]_{979-this bureau} . " "_{[4628-this man]} Thank [you]_{4628-this man} , " said [I]_{4628-this man} : but [my]_{4628-this man} heart sank . Meantime what should [I]_{4628-this man} do ? Perhaps [this English gentleman]_{4690-this english gentleman} saw the failure of courage in [my]_{4628-this man} face ; [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} inquired kindly , "_{[4628-this man]} Have [you]_0-i any friends in [this city]_{980-this city} ? " "_{[4628-this man]} No , and [I]_0-i do n't know where to go . " There was a little pause , in the course of which , as [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} turned more fully to the light of a lamp above [him]_{4690-this english gentleman} , [I]_0-i saw that [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} was [a young , distinguished , and handsome man]_{4691-a young , distinguished , and handsome man} ; [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} might be [a lord]_{4692-a lord} , for anything [I]_0-i knew : nature had made [him]_{4690-this english gentleman} good enough for [a prince]_{4693-a prince} , [I]_0-i thought . [His]_{4690-this english gentleman} face was very pleasant ; [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} looked high but not arrogant , manly but not overbearing . [I]_0-i was turning away , in the deep consciousness of all absence of claim to look for further help from [such a one as [he]_{4690-this english gentleman}]_{4694-such a one as he} . "_[0-i] Was all [your]_0-i money in [your]_0-i trunk ? " [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} asked , stopping [me]_0-i . How thankful was [I]_0-i to be able to answer with truth - "_[0-i] No . [I]_0-i have enough in [my]_0-i purse " for [I]_0-i had near twenty francs "_[0-i] to keep [me]_0-i at [a quiet inn]_{981-a quiet inn} till the day after to - morrow ; but [I]_0-i am quite [a stranger in [Villette]_3-villette]_{982-a stranger in villette} , and do n't know [the streets]_{983-the streets} and [the inns]_{984-the inns} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can give [you]_0-i the address of such [an inn]_{4440-an inn} as [you]_0-i want , " said [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} ; "_[0-i] and it is not far off : with [my]_0-i direction [you]_0-i will easily find it . " [He]_{4690-this english gentleman} tore a leaf from [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} pocket - book , wrote a few words and gave it to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i did think [him]_{4690-this english gentleman} kind ; and as to distrusting [him]_{4690-this english gentleman} , or [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} advice , or [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} address , [I]_0-i should almost as soon have thought of distrusting [the Bible]_{191-the bible} . There was goodness in [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} countenance , and honour in [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} bright eyes . "_[0-i] [Your]_0-i shortest way will be to follow [the Boulevard]_{986-the boulevard} and cross [the park]_{987-the park} , " [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} continued ; "_[0-i] but it is too late and too dark for [a woman]_{4363-a woman} to go through [the park]_{987-the park} alone ; [I]_0-i will step with [you]_0-i thus far . " [He]_{4690-this english gentleman} moved on , and [I]_0-i followed [him]_{4690-this english gentleman} , through the darkness and the small soaking rain . [The Boulevard]_{986-the boulevard} was all deserted , [its]_{986-the boulevard} path miry , the water dripping from [its]_{986-the boulevard} trees ; [the park]_{987-the park} was black as midnight . In the double gloom of trees and fog , [I]_0-i could not see [[my]_0-i guide]_{4697-my guide} ; [I]_0-i could only follow [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} tread . Not the least fear had [I]_0-i : [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i would have followed that frank tread , through continual night , to [the world]_{811-the world} 's end . "_[0-i] Now , " said [he]_{4690-this english gentleman} , when [the park]_{987-the park} was traversed , "_[0-i] [you]_0-i will go along [this broad street]_{990-this broad street} till [you]_0-i come to steps ; two lamps will show [you]_0-i where they are : these steps [you]_0-i will descend : [a narrower street]_{991-a narrower street} lies below ; following that , at the bottom [you]_0-i will find [[your]_0-i inn]_{992-your inn} . [They]_993-they speak English [there]_512-there , so [your]_0-i difficulties are now pretty well over . Good - night . " "_{[193-pensionnat de demoiselles]} Good - night , [sir]_976-sir , " said [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} : "_{[193-pensionnat de demoiselles]} accept [my]_0-i sincerest thanks . " And [we]_4700-we parted . The remembrance of [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} countenance , which [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} am sure wore a light not unbenignant to [the friendless]_{4701-the friendless} - the sound in [my]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} ear of [his]_{4690-this english gentleman} voice , which spoke a nature chivalric to the needy and feeble , as well as the youthful and fair - were a sort of cordial to [me]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} long after . [He]_{4690-this english gentleman} was [a true young English gentleman]_{4702-a true young english gentleman} . On [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} went , hurrying fast through [a magnificent street]_{4703-a magnificent street} and square , with [the grandest houses]_{4704-the grandest houses} round , and amidst [them]_{4704-the grandest houses} the huge outline of more than one overbearing pile ; which might be [palace]_4705-palace or [church]_4353-church - [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} could not tell . Just as [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} passed [a portico]_{4707-a portico} , [two mustachioed men]_{4708-two mustachioed men} came suddenly from behind the pillars ; [they]_{4708-two mustachioed men} were smoking cigars : [their]_{4708-two mustachioed men} dress implied pretensions to the rank of [gentlemen]_{4709-gentlemen} , but , poor things ! [they]_{4708-two mustachioed men} were very plebeian in soul . [They]_{4708-two mustachioed men} spoke with insolence , and , fast as [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} walked , [they]_{4708-two mustachioed men} kept pace with [me]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} a long way . At last [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} met [a sort of patrol]_{4710-a sort of patrol} , and [[my]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} dreaded hunters]_{4711-my dreaded hunters} were turned from the pursuit ; but [they]_{4708-two mustachioed men} had driven [me]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} beyond [my]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} reckoning : when [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} could collect [my]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} faculties , [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} no longer knew where [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} was ; the staircase [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} must long since have passed . [Puzzled]_192-puzzled , out of breath , all [my]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} pulses throbbing in inevitable agitation , [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} knew not where to turn . It was terrible to think of again encountering [those bearded , sneering simpletons]_{4712-those bearded , sneering simpletons} ; yet the ground must be retraced , and the steps sought out . [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} came at last to an old and worn flight , and , taking it for granted that this must be the one indicated , [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} descended [them]_{4708-two mustachioed men} . [The street]_{623-the street} into which [they]_{4708-two mustachioed men} led was indeed narrow , but [it]_{623-the street} contained [no inn]_{4714-no inn} . On [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} wandered . In [a very quiet and comparatively clean and well - paved street]_{4715-a very quiet and comparatively clean and well - paved street} , [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} saw a light burning over the door of [a rather large house , loftier by a story]_{4716-a rather large house , loftier by a story} than those round [it]_{4716-a rather large house , loftier by a story} . This might be [the inn]_{4630-the inn} at last . [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} hastened on : [my]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} knees now trembled under [me]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} : [I]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} was getting quite exhausted . [No inn]_{4714-no inn} was this . A brass - plate embellished [the great porte - cochere]_{4719-the great porte - cochere} : "_{[193-pensionnat de demoiselles]} [Pensionnat de Demoiselles]_{193-pensionnat de demoiselles} " was the inscription ; and beneath , a name , "_[190-madame] [Madame Beck]_190-madame . " [I]_190-madame started . About a hundred thoughts volleyed through [my]_190-madame mind in a moment . Yet [I]_190-madame planned nothing , and considered nothing : [I]_190-madame had not time . [Providence]_{160-providence} said , "_[190-madame] Stop here ; this is [[your]_996-your inn]_{992-your inn} . " [Fate]_159-fate took [me]_190-madame in [her]_159-fate strong hand ; mastered [my]_190-madame will ; directed [my]_190-madame actions : [I]_190-madame rang the door - bell . While [I]_190-madame waited , [I]_190-madame would not reflect . [I]_190-madame fixedly looked at [the street- stones]_{4720-the street- stones} , where the door - lamp shone , and counted them and noted their shapes , and the glitter of wet on their angles . [I]_190-madame rang again . [They]_{4720-the street- stones} opened at last . [A bonne in a smart cap]_{4721-a bonne in a smart cap} stood before [me]_190-madame . "_[190-madame] May [I]_0-i see [Madame Beck]_190-madame ? " [I]_998-i inquired . [I]_998-i believe if [I]_998-i had spoken French [she]_190-madame would not have admitted [me]_998-i ; but , as [I]_998-i spoke English , [she]_190-madame concluded [I]_998-i was [a foreign teacher]_{4722-a foreign teacher} come on business connected with [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat} , and , even at that late hour , [she]_190-madame let [me]_998-i in , without a word of reluctance , or a moment of hesitation . The next moment [I]_998-i sat in [a cold , glittering salon]_{4724-a cold , glittering salon} , with porcelain stove , unlit , and gilded ornaments , and polished floor . A pendule on the mantel - piece struck nine o'clock . A quarter of an hour passed . How fast beat every pulse in [my]_998-i frame ! How [I]_998-i turned cold and hot by turns ! [I]_998-i sat with [my]_998-i eyes fixed on the door - a great white folding - door , with gilt mouldings : [I]_998-i watched to see a leaf move and open . All had been quiet : not a mouse had stirred ; the white doors were closed and motionless . "_[998-i] [You]_998-i ayre [Engliss]_194-engliss ? " said a voice at [my]_998-i elbow . [I]_998-i almost bounded , so unexpected was the sound ; so certain had [I]_998-i been of solitude . [No ghost]_{4725-no ghost} stood beside [me]_998-i , nor anything of spectral aspect ; merely [a motherly , dumpy little woman]_{4726-a motherly , dumpy little woman} , in a large shawl , a wrapping - gown , and a clean , trim nightcap . [I]_998-i said [I]_998-i was English , and immediately , without further prelude , [we]_4727-we fell to a most remarkable conversation . [Madame Beck]_190-madame for [Madame Beck]_190-madame it was - [she]_190-madame had entered by a little door behind [me]_998-i , and , being shod with the shoes of silence , [I]_998-i had heard neither [her]_190-madame entrance nor approach - [Madame Beck]_190-madame had exhausted [her]_190-madame command of insular speech when [she]_190-madame said , "_[998-i] [You]_998-i ayre Engliss , " and [she]_190-madame now proceeded to work away volubly in [her]_190-madame own tongue . [I]_998-i answered in [mine]_998-i . [She]_190-madame partly understood [me]_998-i , but as [I]_998-i did not at all understand [her]_190-madame - though [we]_4727-we made together an awful clamour anything like [Madame]_190-madame 's gift of utterance [I]_998-i had not hitherto heard or imagined - [we]_4727-we achieved little progress . [She]_190-madame rang , ere long , for aid ; which arrived in the shape of [a "_[998-i] maitresse , " who had been partly educated in [an Irish convent]_{4729-an irish convent}]_{4728-a " maitresse , " who had been partly educated in an irish convent} , and was esteemed [a perfect adept in the English language]_{4730-a perfect adept in the english language} . [A bluff little personage]_{4731-a bluff little personage} [this maitresse]_{4732-this maitresse} was - Labassecourienne from top to toe : and how [she]_190-madame did slaughter the speech of [Albion]_195-albion ! However , [I]_998-i told [her]_190-madame a plain tale , which [she]_190-madame translated . [I]_998-i told [her]_190-madame how [I]_998-i had left [[my]_998-i own country]_{4733-my own country} , intent on extending [my]_998-i knowledge , and gaining [my]_998-i bread ; how [I]_998-i was ready to turn [my]_998-i hand to any useful thing , provided it was not wrong or degrading ; how [I]_998-i would be [a child's - nurse]_{4734-a child's - nurse} , or [a lady's - maid]_{4735-a lady's - maid} , and would not refuse even housework adapted to [my]_998-i strength . [Madame]_190-madame heard this ; and , questioning [her]_999-she countenance , [I]_998-i almost thought the tale won [her]_999-she ear : "_[998-i] Il n'y a que les Anglaises pour ces sortes d'entreprises , " said [she]_999-she : ' sont - elles donc intrepides ces femmes la ! "_[999-she] [She]_999-she asked [my]_0-i name , [my]_0-i age ; [she]_999-she sat and looked at [me]_0-i - not pityingly , not with interest : never a gleam of sympathy , or a shade of compassion , crossed [her]_999-she countenance during the interview . [I]_0-i felt [she]_999-she was not one to be led an inch by [her]_999-she feelings : grave and considerate , [she]_999-she gazed , consulting [her]_999-she judgment and studying [my]_0-i narrative . A bell rang . " Voila pour la priere du soir ! "_[999-she] said [she]_999-she , and rose . Through [[her]_999-she interpreter]_{1000-her interpreter} , [she]_999-she desired [me]_0-i to depart now , and come back on the morrow ; but this did not suit [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i could not bear to return to the perils of darkness and [the street]_{623-the street} . With energy , yet with a collected and controlled manner , [I]_0-i said , addressing [herself]_999-she personally , and not [the maitresse]_{1002-the maitresse} : " Be assured , [madame]_4736-madame , that by instantly securing [my]_999-she services , [your]_999-she interests will be served and not injured : [you]_999-she will find [me]_999-she one who will wish to give , in [her]_{1002-the maitresse} labour , a full equivalent for [her]_{1002-the maitresse} wages ; and if [you]_999-she hire [me]_999-she , it will be better that [I]_999-she should stay [here]_4212-here this night : having no acquaintance in [Villette]_3-villette , and not possessing the language of [the country]_{571-the country} , how can [I]_999-she secure a lodging ? "_[999-she] " It is true , "_[999-she] said [she]_999-she ; " but at least [you]_999-she can give a reference ? "_[999-she] " None . "_[999-she] [She]_999-she inquired after [my]_0-i luggage : [I]_0-i told [her]_999-she when it would arrive . [She]_999-she mused . At that moment [a man]_{823-a man} 's step was heard in [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} , hastily proceeding to the outer door . [I]_0-i shall go on with this part of [my]_0-i tale as if [I]_0-i had understood all that passed ; for though it was then scarce intelligible to [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i heard it translated afterwards . " Who goes out now ? "_[190-madame] demanded [Madame Beck]_190-madame , listening to the tread . " [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , "_{[1005-the teacher]} replied [the teacher]_{1005-the teacher} . " [He]_{823-a man} came this evening to give a reading to [the first class]_{4739-the first class} . "_{[1005-the teacher]} " [The very man]_{4740-the very man} [I]_{1005-the teacher} should at this moment most wish to see . Call [him]_{823-a man} . "_{[1005-the teacher]} [The teacher]_{1005-the teacher} ran to the salon door . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was summoned . [He]_{196-m. paul} entered : [a small , dark and spare man]_{1007-a small , dark and spare man} , in spectacles . " [Mon cousin]_{4741-mon cousin} , "_[190-madame] began [Madame]_190-madame , " [I]_190-madame want [your]_{4741-mon cousin} opinion . [We]_4742-we know [your]_{4741-mon cousin} skill in physiognomy ; use it now . Read that countenance . "_[190-madame] [The little man]_{1008-the little man} fixed on [me]_0-i [his]_{1008-the little man} spectacles : A resolute compression of the lips , and gathering of the brow , seemed to say that [he]_{1008-the little man} meant to see through [me]_0-i , and that a veil would be no veil for [him]_{1008-the little man} . " [I]_{1008-the little man} read it , "_{[1008-the little man]} [he]_{1008-the little man} pronounced . " Et qu'en dites vous ? "_{[1008-the little man]} " Mais - bien des choses , "_{[1008-the little man]} was the oracular answer . " Bad or good ? "_{[1008-the little man]} " Of each kind , without doubt , "_{[1009-the diviner]} pursued [the diviner]_{1009-the diviner} . " May one trust [her]_4743-her word ? "_{[1009-the diviner]} " Are [you]_{1008-the little man} negotiating a matter of importance ? "_{[1008-the little man]} " [She]_4743-her wishes [me]_{1008-the little man} to engage [her]_4743-her as [bonne or gouvernante]_{4744-bonne or gouvernante} ; tells a tale full of integrity , but gives no reference . "_{[1008-the little man]} " [She]_4743-her is [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} ? "_{[1009-the diviner]} " [An Englishwoman]_{530-an englishwoman} , as one may see . "_{[1008-the little man]} " [She]_4743-her speaks French ? "_{[1008-the little man]} " Not a word . "_{[1009-the diviner]} " [She]_4743-her understands it ? "_{[1008-the little man]} " No . "_{[1008-the little man]} " [One]_607-one may then speak plainly in [her]_4743-her presence ? "_{[1009-the diviner]} " Doubtless . "_{[1008-the little man]} [He]_{1008-the little man} gazed steadily . " Do [you]_{1008-the little man} need [her]_4743-her services ? "_{[1008-the little man]} " [I]_{1008-the little man} could do with [them]_4748-them . [You]_{1008-the little man} know [I]_{1008-the little man} am disgusted with [Madame Svini]_{197-madame svini} . "_{[1008-the little man]} Still [he]_{1008-the little man} scrutinized . The judgment , when it at last came , was as indefinite as what had gone before it . " Engage [her]_4743-her . If good predominates in that nature , the action will bring its own reward ; if evil - eh bien ! [ma cousine]_{4749-ma cousine} , ce sera toujours une bonne oeuvre . "_{[1008-the little man]} And with a bow and a " bon soir , "_{[1008-the little man]} this vague arbiter of [my]_0-i destiny vanished . And [Madame]_{197-madame svini} did engage [me]_0-i that very night - by [God]_164-god 's blessing [I]_0-i was spared the necessity of passing forth again into [the lonesome , dreary , hostile street]_{1010-the lonesome , dreary , hostile street} . CHAPTER VIII . [MADAME BECK]_190-madame . Being delivered into the charge of [the maitresse]_{1002-the maitresse} , [I]_0-i was led through a long narrow passage into [a foreign kitchen]_{1012-a foreign kitchen} , very clean but very strange . [It]_{1012-a foreign kitchen} seemed to contain no means of cooking - neither fireplace nor oven ; [I]_0-i did not understand that the great black furnace which filled one corner , was an efficient substitute for these . Surely pride was not already beginning its whispers in [my]_0-i heart ; yet [I]_0-i felt a sense of relief when , instead of being left in [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen} , as [I]_0-i half anticipated , [I]_0-i was led forward to [a small inner room]_{1014-a small inner room} termed a " cabinet . "_{[1015-a cook in a jacket , a short petticoat and sabots]} [A cook in a jacket , a short petticoat and sabots]_{1015-a cook in a jacket , a short petticoat and sabots} , brought [my]_0-i supper : to wit - some meat , nature unknown , served in an odd and acid , but pleasant sauce ; some chopped potatoes , made savoury with , [I]_0-i know not what : vinegar and sugar , [I]_0-i think : a tartine , or slice of bread and butter , and a baked pear . Being hungry , [I]_0-i ate and was grateful . After the " priere du soir , "_[190-madame] [Madame]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame came to have another look at [me]_0-i . [She]_190-madame desired [me]_0-i to follow [her]_190-madame up - [stairs]_593-stairs . Through a series of [the queerest little dormitories]_{1017-the queerest little dormitories} - which , [I]_0-i heard afterwards , had once been [[nuns]_1018-nuns ' cells]_{1019-nuns ' cells} : for [the premises]_{1020-the premises} were in part of ancient date - and through [the oratory]_{1021-the oratory} - [a long , low , gloomy room , where a crucifix hung , pale , against the wall]_{1022-a long , low , gloomy room , where a crucifix hung , pale , against the wall} , and two tapers kept dim vigils - [she]_190-madame conducted [me]_0-i to [an apartment where [three children]_{1024-three children} were asleep in three tiny beds]_{1023-an apartment where three children were asleep in three tiny beds} . A heated stove made the air of [this room]_{740-this room} oppressive ; and , to mend matters , it was scented with an odour rather strong than delicate : a perfume , indeed , altogether surprising and unexpected under the circumstances , being like the combination of smoke with some spirituous essence - a smell , in short , of whisky . Beside a table , on which flared the remnant of a candle guttering to waste in the socket , [a coarse woman , heterogeneously clad in a broad striped showy silk dress , and a stuff apron]_{1026-a coarse woman , heterogeneously clad in a broad striped showy silk dress , and a stuff apron} , sat in a chair fast asleep . To complete the picture , and leave no doubt as to the state of matters , a bottle and an empty glass stood at [the sleeping beauty]_{1027-the sleeping beauty} 's elbow . [Madame]_190-madame contemplated this remarkable tableau with great calm ; [she]_190-madame neither smiled nor scowled ; no impress of anger , disgust , or surprise , ruffled the equality of [her]_190-madame grave aspect ; [she]_190-madame did not even wake [the woman]_{890-the woman} ! Serenely pointing to a fourth bed , [she]_190-madame intimated that it was to be [mine]_0-i ; then , having extinguished the candle and substituted for it a night - lamp , [she]_190-madame glided through an inner door , which [she]_190-madame left ajar - the entrance to [[her]_190-madame own chamber]_{1029-her own chamber} , [a large , well - furnished apartment]_{1030-a large , well - furnished apartment} ; as was discernible through the aperture . [My]_0-i devotions that night were all thanksgiving . Strangely had [I]_0-i been led since morning - unexpectedly had [I]_0-i been provided for . Scarcely could [I]_0-i believe that not forty - eight hours had elapsed since [I]_0-i left [London]_2-london , under no other guardianship than that which protects the passenger - bird - with no prospect but the dubious cloud - tracery of hope . [I]_0-i was a light sleeper ; in the dead of night [I]_0-i suddenly awoke . All was hushed , but a white figure stood in [the room]_{600-the room} - [Madame]_4736-madame in [her]_4736-madame night- dress . Moving without perceptible sound , [she]_4736-madame visited [the three children in the three beds]_{1033-the three children in the three beds} ; [she]_4736-madame approached [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i feigned sleep , and [she]_4736-madame studied [me]_0-i long . A small pantomime ensued , curious enough . [I]_0-i daresay [she]_4736-madame sat a quarter of an hour on the edge of [my]_0-i bed , gazing at [my]_0-i face . [She]_4736-madame then drew nearer , bent close over [me]_0-i ; slightly raised [my]_0-i cap , and turned back the border so as to expose [my]_0-i hair ; [she]_4736-madame looked at [my]_0-i hand lying on the bedclothes . This done , [she]_4736-madame turned to the chair where [my]_0-i clothes lay : it was at the foot of the bed . Hearing [her]_4736-madame touch and lift them , [I]_0-i opened [my]_0-i eyes with precaution , for [I]_0-i own [I]_0-i felt curious to see how far [her]_4736-madame taste for research would lead [her]_4736-madame . It led [her]_4736-madame a good way : every article did [she]_4736-madame inspect . [I]_0-i divined [her]_4736-madame motive for this proceeding , viz . the wish to form from the garments a judgment respecting [the wearer]_{1034-the wearer} , [her]_4736-madame station , means , neatness , c. The end was not bad , but the means were hardly fair or justifiable . In [my]_0-i dress was a pocket ; [she]_4736-madame fairly turned it inside out : [she]_4736-madame counted the money in [my]_0-i purse ; [she]_4736-madame opened a little memorandum - book , coolly perused its contents , and took from between the leaves a small plaited lock of [Miss Marchmont]_{158-miss marchmont} 's grey hair . To a bunch of three keys , being those of [my]_0-i trunk , desk , and work - box , [she]_4736-madame accorded special attention : with these , indeed , [she]_4736-madame withdrew a moment to [[her]_4736-madame own room]_{1035-her own room} . [I]_0-i softly rose in [my]_0-i bed and followed [her]_4736-madame with [my]_0-i eye : these keys , [reader]_4604-reader , were not brought back till [they]_1037-they had left on the toilet of [the adjoining room]_{1038-the adjoining room} the impress of [their]_1037-they wards in wax . All being thus done decently and in order , [[my]_0-i property]_{1039-my property} was returned to [its]_{1039-my property} place , [my]_0-i clothes were carefully refolded . Of what nature were the conclusions deduced from this scrutiny ? Were they favourable or otherwise ? Vain question . [Madame]_190-madame 's face of stone for of stone in its present night aspect it looked : it had been human , and , as [I]_0-i said before , motherly , in [the salon]_{1040-the salon} betrayed no response . [Her]_190-madame duty done - [I]_0-i felt that in [her]_190-madame eyes this business was a duty - [she]_190-madame rose , noiseless as a shadow : [she]_190-madame moved towards [[her]_190-madame own chamber]_{1029-her own chamber} ; at the door , [she]_190-madame turned , fixing [her]_190-madame eye on [the heroine of the bottle , who still slept and loudly snored]_{1042-the heroine of the bottle , who still slept and loudly snored} . [Mrs. Svini]_{198-mrs. svini} [I]_0-i presume this was [Mrs. Svini]_{198-mrs. svini} , [Anglice]_199-anglice or [Hibernice]_{200-hibernice} , [Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} - [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} 's doom was in [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's eye - an immutable purpose that eye spoke : [Madame]_190-madame 's visitations for shortcomings might be slow , but [they]_1043-they were sure . All this was very un - English : truly [I]_0-i was in [a foreign land]_{1044-a foreign land} . [The morrow]_{1045-the morrow} made [me]_0-i further acquainted with [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} . It seems [she]_190-madame had introduced [herself]_190-madame to [[her]_190-madame present employer]_{1046-her present employer} as [an English lady]_{1047-an english lady} in reduced circumstances : [a native , indeed , of [Middlesex]_42-middlesex]_{1048-a native , indeed , of middlesex} [, professing to speak the English tongue with the purest metropolitan accent]_{1049-, professing to speak the english tongue with the purest metropolitan accent} . [Madame]_190-madame - reliant on [her]_190-madame own infallible expedients for finding out the truth in time - had a singular intrepidity in hiring service off - hand as indeed seemed abundantly proved in [my]_0-i own case . [She]_190-madame received [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} as [nursery - governess to [[her]_190-madame three children]_{1051-her three children}]_{1050-nursery - governess to her three children} . [I]_0-i need hardly explain to [the reader]_{759-the reader} that [this lady]_{1053-this lady} was in effect [a native of [Ireland]_43-ireland]_{1054-a native of ireland} ; [her]_{1053-this lady} station [I]_0-i do not pretend to fix : [she]_{1053-this lady} boldly declared that [she]_{1053-this lady} had " had the bringing - up of [the son and daughter of [a marquis]_{4751-a marquis}]_{4750-the son and daughter of a marquis} . "_{[1053-this lady]} [I]_0-i think [myself]_0-i , [she]_{1053-this lady} might possibly have been [a hanger - on]_{1055-a hanger - on} , [nurse]_1056-nurse , [fosterer]_{1057-fosterer} , or washerwoman , in [some Irish family]_{1058-some irish family} : [she]_{1053-this lady} spoke a smothered tongue , curiously overlaid with mincing cockney inflections . By some means or other [she]_{1053-this lady} had acquired , and now held in possession , a wardrobe of rather suspicious splendour - gowns of stiff and costly silk , fitting [her]_{1053-this lady} indifferently , and apparently made for other proportions than those [they]_1059-they now adorned ; caps with real lace borders , and - the chief item in the inventory , the spell by which [she]_{1053-this lady} struck a certain awe through [the household]_{1060-the household} , quelling [the otherwise scornfully disposed teachers]_{1061-the otherwise scornfully disposed teachers} and [servants]_{1062-servants} , and , so long as [her]_{1053-this lady} broad shoulders wore the folds of that majestic drapery , even influencing [Madame]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame - a real Indian shawl - " un veritable cachemire , "_[190-madame] as [Madame Beck]_190-madame said , with unmixed reverence and amaze . [I]_0-i feel quite sure that without this " cachemire "_[190-madame] [she]_{1053-this lady} would not have kept [her]_{1053-this lady} footing in [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat} for two days : by virtue of it , and it only , [she]_{1053-this lady} maintained the same a month . But when [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} knew that [I]_0-i was come to fill [her]_{1053-this lady} shoes , then it was that [she]_{1053-this lady} declared [herself]_{1053-this lady} - then did [she]_{1053-this lady} rise on [Madame Beck]_190-madame in [her]_{1053-this lady} full power - then come down on [me]_0-i with [her]_{1053-this lady} concentrated weight . [Madame]_190-madame bore this revelation and visitation so well , so stoically , that [I]_0-i for very shame could not support it otherwise than with composure . For one little moment [Madame Beck]_190-madame absented [herself]_190-madame from [the room]_{600-the room} ; ten minutes after , [an agent of [the police]_{1066-the police}]_{1065-an agent of the police} stood in the midst of [us]_1067-us . [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} and [her]_{201-mrs. sweeny} effects were removed . [Madame]_190-madame 's brow had not been ruffled during the scene - [her]_190-madame lips had not dropped one sharply - accented word . This brisk little affair of the dismissal was all settled before breakfast : order to march given , [policeman]_{1068-policeman} called , [mutineer]_{1069-mutineer} expelled ; " chambre d'enfans "_{[1068-policeman]} fumigated and cleansed , windows thrown open , and every trace of the accomplished [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} - even to the fine essence and spiritual fragrance which gave token so subtle and so fatal of the head and front of [her]_190-madame offending - was annihilated from [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} : all this , [I]_0-i say , was done between the moment of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's issuing like [Aurora]_202-aurora from [[her]_190-madame chamber]_{1070-her chamber} , and that in which [she]_190-madame coolly sat down to pour out [her]_190-madame first cup of coffee . About noon , [I]_0-i was summoned to dress [Madame]_190-madame . It appeared [[my]_0-i place]_{1071-my place} was to be a hybrid between [gouvernante]_{1072-gouvernante} and [lady's - maid]_{1073-lady's - maid} . Till noon , [she]_190-madame haunted [the house]_{518-the house} in [her]_190-madame wrapping - gown , shawl , and soundless slippers . How would [the lady - chief of [an English school]_{1076-an english school}]_{1075-the lady - chief of an english school} approve this custom ? The dressing of [her]_190-madame hair puzzled [me]_0-i ; [she]_190-madame had plenty of it : auburn , unmixed with grey : though [she]_190-madame was forty years old . Seeing [my]_0-i embarrassment , [she]_190-madame said , " [You]_0-i have not been [a femme - de - chambre in [[your]_0-i own country]_{4753-your own country}]_{4752-a femme - de - chambre in your own country} ? "_[190-madame] And taking the brush from [my]_0-i hand , and setting [me]_0-i aside , not ungently or disrespectfully , [she]_190-madame arranged it [herself]_190-madame . In [performing other offices of [the toilet]_{1078-the toilet}]_{1077-performing other offices of the toilet} , [she]_190-madame half - directed , half - aided [me]_0-i , without the least display of temper or impatience . N.B. - That was the first and last time [I]_0-i was required to dress [her]_190-madame . Henceforth , on [Rosine]_203-rosine , [the portress]_{1079-the portress} , devolved that duty . When attired , [Madame Beck]_190-madame appeared [a personage of a figure rather short and stout]_{1080-a personage of a figure rather short and stout} , yet still graceful in its own peculiar way ; that is , with the grace resulting from proportion of parts . [Her]_190-madame complexion was fresh and sanguine , not too rubicund ; [her]_190-madame eye , blue and serene ; [her]_190-madame dark silk dress fitted [her]_190-madame as [a French sempstress]_{1081-a french sempstress} alone can make a dress fit ; [she]_190-madame looked well , though a little bourgeoise ; as bourgeoise , indeed , [she]_190-madame was . [I]_0-i know not what of harmony pervaded [[her]_190-madame whole person]_{1082-her whole person} ; and yet [her]_190-madame face offered contrast , too : its features were by no means such as are usually seen in conjunction with a complexion of such blended freshness and repose : their outline was stern : [her]_190-madame forehead was high but narrow ; it expressed capacity and some benevolence , but no expanse ; nor did [her]_190-madame peaceful yet watchful eye ever know the fire which is kindled in the heart or the softness which flows thence . [Her]_190-madame mouth was hard : it could be a little grim ; [her]_190-madame lips were thin . For sensibility and genius , with all their tenderness and temerity , [I]_0-i felt somehow that [Madame]_190-madame would be the right sort of Minos in petticoats . In the long run , [I]_0-i found [she]_190-madame was something else in petticoats too . [Her]_190-madame name was [Modeste Maria Beck]_{204-modeste maria beck} , [nee Kint]_{1083-nee kint} : it ought to have been [Ignacia]_205-ignacia . [She]_190-madame was [a charitable woman]_{1084-a charitable woman} , and did a great deal of good . There never was [a mistress whose rule was milder]_{1085-a mistress whose rule was milder} . [I]_0-i was told that [she]_190-madame never once remonstrated with [the intolerable Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} , despite [her]_190-madame tipsiness , disorder , and general neglect ; yet [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} had to go the moment [her]_190-madame departure became convenient . [I]_0-i was told , too , that neither [masters]_1086-masters nor [teachers]_{1087-teachers} were found fault with in [that establishment]_{1088-that establishment} ; yet [both masters]_{1089-both masters} and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} were often changed : [they]_{1089-both masters} vanished and [others]_770-others filled [their]_770-others places , none could well explain how . [The establishment]_{1092-the establishment} was both [a pensionnat]_{1093-a pensionnat} and [an externat]_{1094-an externat} : [the externes]_{1095-the externes} or [day - pupils]_{1096-day - pupils} exceeded one hundred in number ; [the boarders]_{1097-the boarders} were about a score . [Madame]_190-madame must have possessed high administrative powers : [she]_190-madame ruled all these , together with [four teachers]_{1098-four teachers} , [eight masters]_{1099-eight masters} , [six servants]_{1100-six servants} , and [three children]_{1024-three children} , managing at the same time to perfection [[the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} ' parents]_{1103-the pupils ' parents} and [friends]_533-friends ; and that without apparent effort ; without bustle , fatigue , fever , or any symptom of undue , excitement : occupied [she]_190-madame always was - busy , rarely . It is true that [Madame]_190-madame had [her]_190-madame own system for managing and regulating this mass of machinery ; and a very pretty system it was : [the reader]_{759-the reader} has seen a specimen of it , in that small affair of turning [my]_0-i pocket inside out , and reading [my]_0-i private memoranda . " Surveillance , "_[190-madame] " espionage , "_[190-madame] - these were [her]_190-madame watchwords . Still , [Madame]_190-madame knew what honesty was , and liked it - that is , when it did not obtrude its clumsy scruples in the way of [her]_190-madame will and interest . [She]_190-madame had a respect for " [Angleterre]_{206-angleterre} ; "_[190-madame] and as to " les Anglaises , "_[190-madame] [she]_190-madame would have [the women of [no other country]_{1107-no other country} about [[her]_190-madame own children]_{1108-her own children}]_{1106-the women of no other country about her own children} , if [she]_190-madame could help it . Often in the evening , after [she]_190-madame had been plotting and counter- plotting , spying and receiving the reports of [spies]_1109-spies all day , [she]_190-madame would come up to [[my]_0-i room]_{1110-my room} - a trace of real weariness on [her]_190-madame brow - and [she]_190-madame would sit down and listen while [the children]_{1111-the children} said [their]_{1111-the children} little prayers to [me]_0-i in English : [the Lord]_{1112-the lord} 's Prayer , and the hymn beginning " Gentle Jesus , "_[190-madame] [these little Catholics]_{1113-these little catholics} were permitted to repeat at [my]_0-i knee ; and , when [I]_0-i had put [them]_{1111-the children} to bed , [she]_190-madame would talk to [me]_0-i [I]_0-i soon gained enough French to be able to understand , and even answer [her]_190-madame about [England]_19-england and [Englishwomen]_{1114-englishwomen} , and the reasons for what [she]_190-madame was pleased to term [their]_{1111-the children} superior intelligence , and more real and reliable probity . Very good sense [she]_190-madame often showed ; very sound opinions [she]_190-madame often broached : [she]_190-madame seemed to know that keeping [girls]_702-girls in distrustful restraint , in blind ignorance , and under a surveillance that left [them]_702-girls no moment and no corner for retirement , was not the best way to make [them]_702-girls grow up honest and [modest women]_{1116-modest women} ; but [she]_190-madame averred that ruinous consequences would ensue if any other method were tried with [continental children]_{1117-continental children} : [they]_{1117-continental children} were so accustomed to restraint , that relaxation , however guarded , would be misunderstood and fatally presumed on . [She]_190-madame was sick , [she]_190-madame would declare , of the means [she]_190-madame had to use , but use them [she]_190-madame must ; and after discoursing , often with dignity and delicacy , to [me]_0-i , [she]_190-madame would move away on [her]_190-madame ' souliers de silence , " and glide ghost - like through [the house]_{518-the house} , watching and spying everywhere , peering through every keyhole , listening behind every door . After all , [Madame]_190-madame 's system was not bad - let [me]_190-madame do [her]_190-madame justice . Nothing could be better than all [her]_190-madame arrangements for the physical well - being of [[her]_190-madame scholars]_{4755-her scholars} . No minds were overtasked : the lessons were well distributed and made incomparably easy to [the learner]_{4756-the learner} ; there was a liberty of amusement , and a provision for exercise which kept [the girls]_{4757-the girls} healthy ; the food was abundant and good : neither pale nor puny faces were anywhere to be seen in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} . [She]_190-madame never grudged a holiday ; [she]_190-madame allowed plenty of time for sleeping , dressing , washing , eating ; [her]_190-madame method in all these matters was easy , liberal , salutary , and rational : [many an austere English school - mistress]_{4758-many an austere english school - mistress} would do vastly well to imitate [her]_190-madame - and [I]_190-madame believe [many]_4759-many would be glad to do so , if [exacting English parents]_{4760-exacting english parents} would let [them]_4759-many . As [Madame Beck]_190-madame ruled by espionage , [she]_190-madame of course had [[her]_190-madame staff of [spies]_1109-spies]_{4761-her staff of spies} : [she]_190-madame perfectly knew the quality of the tools [she]_190-madame used , and while [she]_190-madame would not scruple to handle the dirtiest for a dirty occasion - flinging this sort from [her]_190-madame like refuse rind , after the orange has been duly squeezed - [I]_190-madame have known [her]_190-madame fastidious in seeking pure metal for clean uses ; and when once a bloodless and rustless instrument was found , [she]_190-madame was careful of the prize , keeping it in silk and cotton- wool . Yet , woe be to [that man or woman who relied on [her]_190-madame one inch beyond the point where it was [her]_190-madame interest to be trustworthy]_{4763-that man or woman who relied on her one inch beyond the point where it was her interest to be trustworthy} : interest was the master - key of [Madame]_190-madame 's nature - the mainspring of [her]_190-madame motives - the alpha and omega of [her]_190-madame life . [I]_190-madame have seen [her]_190-madame feelings appealed to , and [I]_190-madame have smiled in half - pity , half - scorn at [the appellants]_{4764-the appellants} . None ever gained [her]_190-madame ear through that channel , or swayed [her]_190-madame purpose by that means . On the contrary , to attempt to touch [her]_190-madame heart was the surest way to rouse [her]_190-madame antipathy , and to make of [her]_190-madame [a secret foe]_{4765-a secret foe} . It proved to [her]_190-madame that [she]_190-madame had no heart to be touched : it reminded [her]_190-madame where [she]_190-madame was impotent and dead . Never was the distinction between charity and mercy better exemplified than in [her]_190-madame . While devoid of sympathy , [she]_190-madame had a sufficiency of rational benevolence : [she]_190-madame would give in the readiest manner to [people [she]_190-madame had never seen]_{4766-people she had never seen} - rather , however , to [classes]_4767-classes than to [individuals]_{4768-individuals} . "_[190-madame] Pour les pauvres , " [she]_190-madame opened [her]_190-madame purse freely - against [the poor man]_{4769-the poor man} , as a rule , [she]_190-madame kept it closed . In philanthropic schemes for the benefit of society at large [she]_190-madame took a cheerful part ; no private sorrow touched [her]_190-madame : no force or mass of suffering concentrated in one heart had power to pierce [hers]_190-madame . Not the agony in [Gethsemane]_{45-gethsemane} , not the death on [Calvary]_46-calvary , could have wrung from [her]_190-madame eyes one tear . [I]_190-madame say again , [Madame]_190-madame was [a very great and a very capable woman]_{4770-a very great and a very capable woman} . [That school]_{4771-that school} offered [her]_190-madame for [her]_190-madame powers too limited a sphere ; [she]_190-madame ought to have swayed [a nation]_{4772-a nation} : [she]_190-madame should have been [the leader of [a turbulent legislative assembly]_{4774-a turbulent legislative assembly}]_{4773-the leader of a turbulent legislative assembly} . [Nobody]_4256-nobody could have browbeaten [her]_190-madame , none irritated [her]_190-madame nerves , exhausted [her]_190-madame patience , or over - reached [her]_190-madame astuteness . In [[her]_190-madame own single person]_{4776-her own single person} , [she]_190-madame could have comprised the duties of [a first minister]_{4777-a first minister} and [a superintendent of police]_{4778-a superintendent of police} . Wise , firm , faithless ; secret , crafty , passionless ; watchful and inscrutable ; acute and insensate - withal perfectly decorous - what more could be desired ? [The sensible reader]_{4779-the sensible reader} will not suppose that [I]_190-madame gained all the knowledge here condensed for [his]_{4779-the sensible reader} benefit in one month , or in one half - year . No ! what [I]_190-madame saw at first was [the thriving outside of [a large and flourishing educational establishment]_{4781-a large and flourishing educational establishment}]_{4780-the thriving outside of a large and flourishing educational establishment} . [Here]_4212-here was [a great house]_{4783-a great house} , full of [healthy , lively girls]_{4784-healthy , lively girls} , all well - dressed and many of [them]_{4784-healthy , lively girls} handsome , gaining knowledge by a marvellously easy method , without painful exertion or useless waste of spirits ; not , perhaps , making very rapid progress in anything ; taking it easy , but still always employed , and never oppressed . [Here]_4212-here was a corps of [teachers]_{1087-teachers} and [masters , more stringently tasked]_{4787-masters , more stringently tasked} , as all the real head - labour was to be done by [them]_{4787-masters , more stringently tasked} , in order to save [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} , yet having [their]_{1102-the pupils} duties so arranged that [they]_{1102-the pupils} relieved [each other]_{4318-each other} in quick succession whenever the work was severe : here , in short , was [a foreign school]_{4790-a foreign school} ; of which the life , movement , and variety made it a complete and most charming contrast to [many English institutions of the same kind]_{4791-many english institutions of the same kind} . Behind [the house]_{518-the house} was [a large garden]_{4793-a large garden} , and , in summer , [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} almost lived out of doors amongst the rose - bushes and the fruit - trees . Under the vast and vine - draped berceau , [Madame]_190-madame would take [her]_190-madame seat on summer afternoons , and send for the classes , in turns , to sit round [her]_190-madame and sew and read . Meantime , [masters]_1086-masters came and went , delivering short and lively lectures , rather than lessons , and [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} made notes of [their]_{1102-the pupils} instructions , or did not make [them]_{1102-the pupils} - just as inclination prompted ; secure that , in case of neglect , [they]_{1102-the pupils} could copy the notes of [[their]_{1102-the pupils} companions]_{4797-their companions} . Besides the regular monthly jours de sortie , the Catholic fete - days brought a succession of holidays all the year round ; and sometimes on a bright summer morning , or soft summer evening ; [the boarders]_{1097-the boarders} were taken out for a long walk into [the country]_{571-the country} , regaled with gaufres and vin blanc , or new milk and pain bis , or pistolets au beurre rolls and coffee . All this seemed very pleasant , and [Madame]_190-madame appeared goodness itself ; and [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers} not so bad but [they]_{4800-the teachers} might be worse ; and [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} , perhaps , a little noisy and rough , but types of health and glee . Thus did the view appear , seen through the enchantment of distance ; but there came a time when distance was to melt for [me]_190-madame - when [I]_190-madame was to be called down from [my]_190-madame watch - tower of [the nursery]_{4802-the nursery} , whence [I]_190-madame had hitherto made [my]_190-madame observations , and was to be compelled into closer intercourse with [this little world of [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette}]_{4803-this little world of the rue fossette} . [I]_190-madame was one day sitting up - [stairs]_593-stairs , as usual , hearing [the children]_{1111-the children} [their]_{1111-the children} English lessons , and at the same time turning a silk dress for [Madame]_190-madame , when [she]_190-madame came sauntering into [the room]_{600-the room} with that absorbed air and brow of hard thought [she]_190-madame sometimes wore , and which made [her]_190-madame look so little genial . Dropping into a seat opposite [mine]_190-madame , [she]_190-madame remained some minutes silent . [Desiree]_208-desiree , [the eldest girl]_{4807-the eldest girl} , was reading to [me]_190-madame some little essay of [Mrs. Barbauld]_{209-mrs. barbauld} 's , and [I]_190-madame was making [her]_208-desiree translate currently from English to French as [she]_208-desiree proceeded , by way of ascertaining that [she]_208-desiree comprehended what [she]_208-desiree read : [Madame]_190-madame listened . Presently , without preface or prelude , [she]_190-madame said , almost in the tone of one making an accusation , "_[190-madame] [Meess]_{187-meess lucie} , in [England]_19-england [you]_{187-meess lucie} were [a governess]_{897-a governess} ? " "_{[897-a governess]} No , [Madame]_190-madame , " said [I]_190-madame smiling , "_[190-madame] [you]_190-madame are mistaken . " "_[190-madame] Is this [your]_190-madame first essay at teaching - this attempt with [[my]_0-i children]_{1119-my children} ? " [I]_190-madame assured [her]_190-madame it was . Again [she]_190-madame became silent ; but looking up , as [I]_190-madame took a pin from the cushion , [I]_190-madame found [myself]_190-madame an object of study : [she]_190-madame held [me]_190-madame under [her]_190-madame eye ; [she]_190-madame seemed turning [me]_190-madame round in [her]_190-madame thoughts - measuring [my]_190-madame fitness for a purpose , weighing [my]_190-madame value in a plan . [Madame]_190-madame had , ere this , scrutinized all [I]_190-madame had , and [I]_190-madame believe [she]_190-madame esteemed [herself]_190-madame cognizant of much that [I]_190-madame was ; but from that day , for the space of about a fortnight , [she]_190-madame tried [me]_190-madame by new tests . [She]_190-madame listened at the nursery door when [I]_190-madame was shut in with [the children]_{1111-the children} ; [she]_190-madame followed [me]_190-madame at a cautious distance when [I]_190-madame walked out with [them]_{1111-the children} , stealing within ear - shot whenever the trees of [park]_4560-park or [boulevard]_{4810-boulevard} afforded a sufficient screen : a strict preliminary process having thus been observed , [she]_190-madame made a move forward . One morning , coming on [me]_190-madame abruptly , and with the semblance of hurry , [she]_190-madame said [she]_190-madame found [herself]_190-madame placed in a little dilemma . [Mr. Wilson]_{210-mr. wilson} , [the English master]_{4811-the english master} , had failed to come at [his]_{210-mr. wilson} hour , [she]_190-madame feared [he]_{210-mr. wilson} was ill ; [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} were waiting in classe ; there was [no one to give a lesson]_{4813-no one to give a lesson} ; should [I]_190-madame , for once , object to giving a short dictation exercise , just that [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} might not have it to say [they]_{1102-the pupils} had missed [their]_{1102-the pupils} English lesson ? "_[190-madame] In classe , [Madame]_4736-madame ? " [I]_4736-madame asked . "_{[4736-madame]} Yes , in classe : in [the second division]_{1121-the second division} . " "_{[4736-madame]} Where there are [sixty pupils]_{1122-sixty pupils} , " said [I]_4736-madame ; for [I]_4736-madame knew the number , and with [my]_4736-madame usual base habit of cowardice , [I]_4736-madame shrank into [my]_4736-madame sloth like a snail into its shell , and alleged incapacity and impracticability as a pretext to escape action . If left to [myself]_4736-madame , [I]_4736-madame should infallibly have let this chance slip . Inadventurous , unstirred by impulses of practical ambition , [I]_4736-madame was capable of sitting twenty years teaching infants the hornbook , turning silk dresses and making [children]_{4815-children} 's frocks . Not that true contentment dignified this infatuated resignation : [my]_4736-madame work had neither charm for [my]_4736-madame taste , nor hold on [my]_4736-madame interest ; but it seemed to [me]_4736-madame a great thing to be without heavy anxiety , and relieved from intimate trial : the negation of severe suffering was the nearest approach to happiness [I]_4736-madame expected to know . Besides , [I]_4736-madame seemed to hold two lives - the life of thought , and that of reality ; and , provided the former was nourished with a sufficiency of the strange necromantic joys of fancy , the privileges of the latter might remain limited to daily bread , hourly work , and a roof of shelter . "_{[4736-madame]} Come , " said [Madame]_190-madame , as [I]_4736-madame stooped more busily than ever over the cutting - out of [a child]_{4415-a child} 's pinafore , "_{[4736-madame]} leave that work . " "_{[4736-madame]} But [Fifine]_211-fifine wants it , [Madame]_4736-madame . " "_{[4736-madame]} [Fifine]_211-fifine must want it , then , for [I]_0-i want [you]_1124-you . " And as [Madame Beck]_190-madame did really want and was resolved to have [me]_0-i - as [she]_190-madame had long been dissatisfied with [the English master]_{4811-the english master} , with [his]_{4811-the english master} shortcomings in punctuality , and [his]_{4811-the english master} careless method of tuition - as , too , [she]_190-madame did not lack resolution and practical activity , whether [I]_0-i lacked them or not - [she]_190-madame , without more ado , made [me]_0-i relinquish thimble and needle ; [my]_0-i hand was taken into [hers]_190-madame , and [I]_0-i was conducted down - [stairs]_593-stairs . When [we]_4819-we reached [the carre]_{4820-the carre} , [a large square hall between [the dwelling - house]_{4822-the dwelling - house} and [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat}]_{4821-a large square hall between the dwelling - house and the pensionnat} , [she]_190-madame paused , dropped [my]_0-i hand , faced , and scrutinized [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i was flushed , and tremulous from head to foot : tell it not in [Gath]_47-gath , [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i was crying . In fact , the difficulties before [me]_0-i were far from being wholly imaginary ; some of them were real enough ; and not the least substantial lay in [my]_0-i want of mastery over the medium through which [I]_0-i should be obliged to teach . [I]_0-i had , indeed , studied French closely since [my]_0-i arrival in [Villette]_3-villette ; learning its practice by day , and its theory in every leisure moment at night , to as late an hour as the rule of [the house]_{518-the house} would allow candle - light ; but [I]_0-i was far from yet being able to trust [my]_0-i powers of correct oral expression . "_[0-i] Dites donc , " said [Madame]_190-madame sternly , "_[0-i] vous sentez vous reellement trop faible ? " [I]_0-i might have said "_[0-i] Yes , " and gone back to nursery obscurity , and there , perhaps , mouldered for the rest of [my]_0-i life ; but looking up at [Madame]_190-madame , [I]_0-i saw in [her]_190-madame countenance a something that made [me]_0-i think twice ere [I]_0-i decided . At that instant [she]_190-madame did not wear [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's aspect , but rather [a man]_{823-a man} 's . Power of a particular kind strongly limned itself in all [her]_190-madame traits , and that power was not [my]_0-i kind of power : neither sympathy , nor congeniality , nor submission , were the emotions it awakened . [I]_0-i stood - not soothed , nor won , nor overwhelmed . It seemed as if a challenge of strength between opposing gifts was given , and [I]_0-i suddenly felt all the dishonour of [my]_0-i diffidence - all the pusillanimity of [my]_0-i slackness to aspire . "_[0-i] Will [you]_1125-you , " [she]_190-madame said , "_[1125-you] go backward or forward ? " indicating with [her]_190-madame hand , first , the small door of communication with [the dwelling - house]_{4822-the dwelling - house} , and then the great double portals of [the classes]_{4828-the classes} or [schoolrooms]_{4829-schoolrooms} . "_[0-i] En avant , " [I]_0-i said . "_[0-i] But , " pursued [she]_190-madame , cooling as [I]_0-i warmed , and continuing the hard look , from very antipathy to which [I]_0-i drew strength and determination , "_[0-i] can [you]_1125-you face the classes , or are [you]_1125-you over - excited ? " [She]_190-madame sneered slightly in saying this : nervous excitability was not much to [Madame]_190-madame 's taste . "_[1125-you] [I]_0-i am no more excited than this stone , " [I]_1125-you said , tapping the flag with [my]_1125-you toe : "_[1125-you] or than [you]_1125-you , " [I]_1125-you added , returning [her]_190-madame look . "_[1125-you] Bon ! But let [me]_0-i tell [you]_1125-you these are [not quiet , decorous , English girls [you]_1125-you are going to encounter]_{1126-not quiet , decorous , english girls you are going to encounter} . Ce sont des Labassecouriennes , rondes , franches , brusques , et tant soit peu rebelles . " [I]_0-i said : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know ; and [I]_0-i know , too , that though [I]_0-i have studied French hard since [I]_0-i came [here]_4212-here , yet [I]_0-i still speak it with far too much hesitation - too little accuracy to be able to command [their]_1128-they respect [I]_0-i shall make blunders that will lay [me]_0-i open to the scorn of [the most ignorant]_{1129-the most ignorant} . Still [I]_0-i mean to give the lesson . " "_[1128-they] [They]_1128-they always throw over [timid teachers]_{1130-timid teachers} , " said [she]_190-madame . "_[1128-they] [I]_0-i know that too , [Madame]_190-madame ; [I]_0-i have heard how [they]_1128-they rebelled against and persecuted [Miss Turner]_{212-miss turner} " - [a poor friendless English teacher , whom [Madame]_190-madame had employed , and lightly discarded]_{4830-a poor friendless english teacher , whom madame had employed , and lightly discarded} ; and to whose piteous history [I]_{212-miss turner} was [no stranger]_{4831-no stranger} . "_{[212-miss turner]} C'est vrai , " said [she]_190-madame , coolly . "_{[212-miss turner]} [Miss Turner]_{212-miss turner} had no more command over [them]_1128-they than [a servant from [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen}]_{1131-a servant from the kitchen} would have had . [She]_{212-miss turner} was weak and wavering ; [she]_{212-miss turner} had neither tact nor intelligence , decision nor dignity . [Miss Turner]_{212-miss turner} would not do for [these girls]_{1133-these girls} at all . " [I]_{212-miss turner} made no reply , but advanced to the closed schoolroom door . "_{[212-miss turner]} [You]_1134-you will not expect aid from [me]_0-i , or from [any one]_{1135-any one} , " said [Madame]_190-madame . "_{[212-miss turner]} That would at once set [you]_1134-you down as incompetent for [[your]_1134-you office]_{1136-your office} . " [I]_{212-miss turner} opened the door , let [her]_190-madame pass with courtesy , and followed [her]_190-madame . There were [three schoolrooms]_{4832-three schoolrooms} , all large . That dedicated to the second division , where [I]_{212-miss turner} was to figure , was considerably the largest , and accommodated an assemblage more numerous , more turbulent , and infinitely more unmanageable than the other two . In after days , when [I]_{212-miss turner} knew the ground better , [I]_{212-miss turner} used to think sometimes if such a comparison may be permitted , that [the quiet , polished , tame first division]_{4833-the quiet , polished , tame first division} was to [the robust , riotous , demonstrative second division]_{4834-the robust , riotous , demonstrative second division} , what [the English House of Lords]_{4835-the english house of lords} is to [the House of Commons]_{4836-the house of commons} . The first glance informed [me]_{212-miss turner} that [many of [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils}]_{4837-many of the pupils} were more than [girls]_702-girls - quite [young women]_{4840-young women} ; [I]_{212-miss turner} knew that [some of [them]_{1102-the pupils}]_{4841-some of them} were of [noble family]_{4842-noble family} as [nobility]_{4843-nobility} goes in [Labassecour]_{48-labassecour} , and [I]_{212-miss turner} was well convinced that [not one amongst [them]_{1102-the pupils}]_{4844-not one amongst them} was ignorant of [my]_{212-miss turner} position in [[Madame]_190-madame 's household]_{4845-madame 's household} . As [I]_{212-miss turner} mounted the estrade a low platform , raised a step above the flooring , where stood [the teacher]_{1005-the teacher} 's chair and desk , [I]_{212-miss turner} beheld opposite to [me]_{212-miss turner} a row of eyes and brows that threatened stormy weather - eyes full of an insolent light , and brows hard and unblushing as marble . [The continental "_{[212-miss turner]} female "]_{4847-the continental " female "} is quite a different being to [the insular "_{[212-miss turner]} female " of the same age and class]_{4848-the insular " female " of the same age and class} : [I]_{212-miss turner} never saw such eyes and brows in [England]_19-england . [Madame Beck]_190-madame introduced [me]_{212-miss turner} in one cool phrase , sailed from [the room]_{600-the room} , and left [me]_{212-miss turner} alone in [my]_{212-miss turner} glory . [I]_{212-miss turner} shall never forget that first lesson , nor all the under - current of life and character it opened up to [me]_{212-miss turner} . Then first did [I]_{212-miss turner} begin rightly to see the wide difference that lies between [the novelist]_{4850-the novelist} 's and [poet]_4851-poet 's ideal "_{[212-miss turner]} jeune fille " and the said "_{[212-miss turner]} jeune fille " as [she]_190-madame really is . It seems that [three titled belles in the first row]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} had sat down predetermined that [a bonne d'enfants]_{4853-a bonne d'enfants} should not give [them]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} lessons in English . [They]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} knew [they]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} had succeeded in expelling [obnoxious teachers]_{4854-obnoxious teachers} before now ; [they]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} knew that [Madame]_190-madame would at any time throw overboard [a professeur]_{4855-a professeur} or maitresse who became unpopular with [the school]_{4856-the school} - that [she]_190-madame never assisted [a weak official]_{4857-a weak official} to retain [his]_{4857-a weak official} place - that if [he]_{4857-a weak official} had not strength to fight , or tact to win [his]_{4857-a weak official} way , down [he]_{4857-a weak official} went : looking at "_{[212-miss turner]} [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , " [they]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} promised [themselves]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} an easy victory . Mesdemoiselles [Blanche]_213-blanche , [Virginie]_214-virginie , and [Angelique]_{215-angelique} opened the campaign by a series of titterings and whisperings ; these soon swelled into murmurs and short laughs , which the remoter benches caught up and echoed more loudly . This growing revolt of sixty against one , soon became oppressive enough ; [my]_{212-miss turner} command of French being so limited , and exercised under such cruel constraint . Could [I]_{212-miss turner} but have spoken in [my]_{212-miss turner} own tongue , [I]_{212-miss turner} felt as if [I]_{212-miss turner} might have gained a hearing ; for , in the first place , though [I]_{212-miss turner} knew [I]_{212-miss turner} looked [a poor creature]_{4858-a poor creature} , and in many respects actually was so , yet nature had given [me]_{212-miss turner} a voice that could make itself heard , if lifted in excitement or deepened by emotion . In the second place , while [I]_{212-miss turner} had no flow , only a hesitating trickle of language , in ordinary circumstances , yet - under stimulus such as was now rife through the mutinous mass - [I]_{212-miss turner} could , in English , have rolled out readily phrases stigmatizing [their]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} proceedings as such proceedings deserved to be stigmatized ; and then with some sarcasm , flavoured with contemptuous bitterness for [the ringleaders]_{4859-the ringleaders} , and relieved with easy banter for [the weaker but less knavish followers]_{4860-the weaker but less knavish followers} , it seemed to [me]_{212-miss turner} that [one]_607-one might possibly get command over this wild herd , and bring [them]_{4852-three titled belles in the first row} into training , at least . All [I]_{212-miss turner} could now do was to walk up to [Blanche]_213-blanche - [Mademoiselle de Melcy]_{216-mademoiselle} , [a young baronne]_{4862-a young baronne} - [the eldest , tallest , handsomest , and most vicious]_{4863-the eldest , tallest , handsomest , and most vicious} - stand before [her]_213-blanche desk , take from under [her]_213-blanche hand [her]_213-blanche exercise - book , remount the estrade , deliberately read the composition , which [I]_{212-miss turner} found very stupid , and , as deliberately , and in the face of [the whole school]_{4864-the whole school} , tear the blotted page in two . This action availed to draw attention and check noise . [One girl alone , quite in the background]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} , persevered in the riot with undiminished energy . [I]_{212-miss turner} looked at [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} attentively . [She]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} had a pale face , hair like night , broad strong eyebrows , decided features , and a dark , mutinous , sinister eye : [I]_{212-miss turner} noted that [she]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} sat close by a little door , which door , [I]_{212-miss turner} was well aware , opened into [a small closet where books were kept]_{4866-a small closet where books were kept} . [She]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} was standing up for the purpose of conducting [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} clamour with freer energies . [I]_{212-miss turner} measured [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} stature and calculated [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} strength [She]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} seemed both tall and wiry ; but , so the conflict were brief and the attack unexpected , [I]_{212-miss turner} thought [I]_{212-miss turner} might manage [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} . Advancing up [the room]_{600-the room} , looking as cool and careless as [I]_{212-miss turner} possibly could , in short , ayant l'air [de rien]_{217-de rien} , [I]_{212-miss turner} slightly pushed the door and found it was ajar . In an instant , and with sharpness , [I]_{212-miss turner} had turned on [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} . In another instant [she]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} occupied [the closet]_{4868-the closet} , the door was shut , and the key in [my]_{212-miss turner} pocket . It so happened that [this girl]_{4869-this girl} , [Dolores]_218-dolores by name , and [a Catalonian by race]_{4870-a catalonian by race} , was the sort of character at once dreaded and hated by [all [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} associates]_{4871-all her associates} ; the act of summary justice above noted proved popular : there was not one present but , in [her]_{4865-one girl alone , quite in the background} heart , liked to see it done . [They]_4872-they were stilled for a moment ; then a smile - not a laugh - passed from desk to desk : then - when [I]_{212-miss turner} had gravely and tranquilly returned to the estrade , courteously requested silence , and commenced a dictation as if nothing at all had happened - the pens travelled peacefully over the pages , and the remainder of the lesson passed in order and industry . "_{[212-miss turner]} C'est bien , " said [Madame Beck]_190-madame , when [I]_{1137-ca ira} came out of class , hot and a little exhausted . "_{[1137-ca ira]} [Ca ira]_{1137-ca ira} . " [She]_190-madame had been listening and peeping through a spy - hole the whole time . From that day [I]_{1137-ca ira} ceased to be [nursery governess]_{4873-nursery governess} , and became [English teacher]_{4874-english teacher} . [Madame]_190-madame raised [my]_{1137-ca ira} salary ; but [she]_190-madame got thrice the work out of [me]_{1137-ca ira} [she]_190-madame had extracted from [Mr. Wilson]_{210-mr. wilson} , at half the expense . [CHAPTER IX . ISIDORE]_{219-chapter ix . isidore} . [My]_{1137-ca ira} time was now well and profitably filled up . What with teaching [others]_770-others and studying closely [myself]_{1137-ca ira} , [I]_{1137-ca ira} had hardly a spare moment . It was pleasant . [I]_{1137-ca ira} felt [I]_{1137-ca ira} was getting , on ; not lying the stagnant prey of mould and rust , but polishing [my]_{1137-ca ira} faculties and whetting them to a keen edge with constant use . Experience of a certain kind lay before [me]_{1137-ca ira} , on no narrow scale . [Villette]_3-villette is [a cosmopolitan city]_{4876-a cosmopolitan city} , and in [this school]_{4877-this school} were [girls of almost every European nation , and likewise of very varied rank in life]_{4878-girls of almost every european nation , and likewise of very varied rank in life} . Equality is much practised in [Labassecour]_{48-labassecour} ; though not republican in form , it is nearly so in substance , and at the desks of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's establishment [the young countess]_{4879-the young countess} and [the young bourgeoise]_{4880-the young bourgeoise} sat side by side . Nor could [you]_4881-you always by outward indications decide which was noble and which plebeian ; except that , indeed , [the latter]_{541-the latter} had often franker and more courteous manners , while [the former]_{4883-the former} bore away the bell for a delicately - balanced combination of insolence and deceit . In the former there was often quick French blood mixed with the marsh - phlegm : [I]_{1137-ca ira} regret to say that the effect of this vivacious fluid chiefly appeared in the oilier glibness with which flattery and fiction ran from the tongue , and in a manner lighter and livelier , but quite heartless and insincere . To do all parties justice , [the honest aboriginal Labassecouriennes]_{4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes} had an hypocrisy of [their]_{4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes} own , too ; but it was of a coarse order , such as could deceive [few]_4401-few . Whenever a lie was necessary for [their]_{4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes} occasions , [they]_{4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes} brought it out with a careless ease and breadth altogether untroubled by the rebuke of conscience . Not a soul in [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's house]_{4886-madame beck 's house} , from the scullion to [the directress]_{4887-the directress} [herself]_{4887-the directress} , but was above being ashamed of a lie ; [they]_{4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes} thought nothing of it : to invent might not be precisely a virtue , but it was the most venial of faults . "_{[1137-ca ira]} J'ai menti plusieurs fois , " formed an item of [every girl]_{4888-every girl} 's and [woman]_619-woman 's monthly confession : [the priest]_{4890-the priest} heard unshocked , and absolved unreluctant . If [they]_{4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes} had missed going to mass , or read a chapter of a novel , that was another thing : these were crimes whereof rebuke and penance were the unfailing weed . While yet but half - conscious of this state of things , and unlearned in its results , [I]_{1137-ca ira} got on in [my]_{1137-ca ira} new sphere very well . After the first few difficult lessons , given amidst peril and on the edge of a moral volcano that rumbled under [my]_{1137-ca ira} feet and sent sparks and hot fumes into [my]_{1137-ca ira} eyes , the eruptive spirit seemed to subside , as far as [I]_{1137-ca ira} was concerned . [My]_{1137-ca ira} mind was a good deal bent on success : [I]_{1137-ca ira} could not bear the thought of being baffled by mere undisciplined disaffection and wanton indocility , in this first attempt to get on in life . Many hours of the night [I]_{1137-ca ira} used to lie awake , thinking what plan [I]_{1137-ca ira} had best adopt to get a reliable hold on [these mutineers]_{4891-these mutineers} , to bring [this stiff - necked tribe]_{4892-this stiff - necked tribe} under permanent influence . In , the first place , [I]_{1137-ca ira} saw plainly that aid in no shape was to be expected from [Madame]_190-madame : [her]_190-madame righteous plan was to maintain an unbroken popularity with [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} , at any and every cost of justice or comfort to [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers} . For [a teacher]_{4895-a teacher} to seek [her]_{4895-a teacher} alliance in any crisis of insubordination was equivalent to securing [her]_{4895-a teacher} own expulsion . In intercourse with [[her]_190-madame pupils]_{4896-her pupils} , [Madame]_190-madame only took to [herself]_190-madame what was pleasant , amiable , and recommendatory ; rigidly requiring of [her]_190-madame lieutenants sufficiency for every annoying crisis , where to act with adequate promptitude was to be unpopular . Thus , [I]_{1137-ca ira} must look only to [myself]_{1137-ca ira} . Imprimis - it was clear as the day that [this swinish multitude]_{4897-this swinish multitude} were not to be driven by force . [They]_{4897-this swinish multitude} were to be humoured , borne with very patiently : a courteous though sedate manner impressed [them]_{4897-this swinish multitude} ; a very rare flash of raillery did good . Severe or continuous mental application [they]_{4897-this swinish multitude} could not , or would not , bear : heavy demand on the memory , the reason , the attention , [they]_{4897-this swinish multitude} rejected point - blank . Where [an English girl of not more than average capacity and docility]_{4898-an english girl of not more than average capacity and docility} would quietly take a theme and bind [herself]_{4898-an english girl of not more than average capacity and docility} to the task of comprehension and mastery , [a Labassecourienne]_{220-a labassecourienne} would laugh in [your]_4899-your face , and throw it back to [you]_4899-your with the phrase , - "_{[1137-ca ira]} Dieu , que c'est difficile ! Je n'en veux pas . Cela m'ennuie trop . " [A teacher who understood [her]_{4900-a teacher who understood her business} business]_{4900-a teacher who understood her business} would take it back at once , without hesitation , contest , or expostulation - proceed with even exaggerated care to smoothe every difficulty , to reduce it to the level of [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} understandings , return it to [them]_{4897-this swinish multitude} thus modified , and lay on the lash of sarcasm with unsparing hand . [They]_{4897-this swinish multitude} would feel the sting , perhaps wince a little under it ; but [they]_{4897-this swinish multitude} bore no malice against this sort of attack , provided the sneer was not sour , but hearty , and that it held well up to [them]_{4897-this swinish multitude} , in a clear , light , and bold type , so that [she]_{4900-a teacher who understood her business} who ran might read , [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} incapacity , ignorance , and sloth . [They]_{4897-this swinish multitude} would riot for three additional lines to a lesson ; but [I]_{216-mademoiselle} never knew [them]_{4897-this swinish multitude} rebel against a wound given to [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} self - respect : the little [they]_{4897-this swinish multitude} had of that quality was trained to be crushed , and it rather liked the pressure of a firm heel than otherwise . By degrees , as [I]_{216-mademoiselle} acquired fluency and freedom in [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} language , and could make such application of its more nervous idioms as suited [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} case , [the elder and more intelligent girls]_{4901-the elder and more intelligent girls} began rather to like [me]_{216-mademoiselle} in [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} way : [I]_{216-mademoiselle} noticed that whenever [a pupil]_{4902-a pupil} had been roused to feel in [her]_{4902-a pupil} soul the stirring of worthy emulation , or the quickening of honest shame , from that date [she]_{4902-a pupil} was won . If [I]_{216-mademoiselle} could but once make [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} usually large ears burn under [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} thick glossy hair , all was comparatively well . By - and - by bouquets began to be laid on [my]_{216-mademoiselle} desk in the morning ; by way of acknowledgment for this little foreign attention , [I]_{216-mademoiselle} used sometimes to walk with [a select few]_{4903-a select few} during recreation . In the course of conversation it befel once or twice that [I]_{216-mademoiselle} made an unpremeditated attempt to rectify some of [their]_{4897-this swinish multitude} singularly distorted notions of principle ; especially [I]_{216-mademoiselle} expressed [my]_{216-mademoiselle} ideas of the evil and baseness of a lie . In an unguarded moment , [I]_{216-mademoiselle} chanced to say that , of the two errors ; [I]_{216-mademoiselle} considered falsehood worse than an occasional lapse in church - attendance . [The poor girls]_{4904-the poor girls} were tutored to report in Catholic ears whatever [the Protestant teacher]_{4905-the protestant teacher} said . An edifying consequence ensued . Something - an unseen , an indefinite , a nameless - something stole between [myself]_{216-mademoiselle} and [these [my]_{216-mademoiselle} best pupils]_{4906-these my best pupils} : the bouquets continued to be offered , but conversation thenceforth became impracticable . As [I]_{216-mademoiselle} paced [the alleys]_{4907-the alleys} or sat in [the berceau]_{4908-the berceau} , [a girl]_{517-a girl} never came to [my]_{216-mademoiselle} right hand but [a teacher , as if by magic]_{4910-a teacher , as if by magic} , appeared at [my]_{216-mademoiselle} left . Also , wonderful to relate , [Madame]_190-madame 's shoes of silence brought [her]_190-madame continually to [my]_{216-mademoiselle} back , as quick , as noiseless and unexpected , as [some wandering zephyr]_{4911-some wandering zephyr} . The opinion of [[my]_{216-mademoiselle} Catholic acquaintance]_{4912-my catholic acquaintance} concerning [my]_{216-mademoiselle} spiritual prospects was somewhat naively expressed to [me]_{216-mademoiselle} on one occasion . A pensionnaire , to whom [I]_{216-mademoiselle} had rendered some little service , exclaimed one day as [she]_190-madame sat beside [me]_{216-mademoiselle} : "_{[216-mademoiselle]} [Mademoiselle]_{216-mademoiselle} , what a pity [you]_{216-mademoiselle} are [a Protestant]_{928-a protestant} ! " "_{[216-mademoiselle]} Why , [Isabelle]_221-isabelle ? " "_{[1137-ca ira]} Parceque , quand vous serez morte - vous brulerez tout de suite dans l'Enfer . " "_{[216-mademoiselle]} Croyez - vous ? " "_{[1137-ca ira]} Certainement que j'y crois : tout le monde le sait ; et d'ailleurs le pretre [me]_0-i l'a dit . " [Isabelle]_221-isabelle was [an odd , blunt little creature]_{4913-an odd , blunt little creature} . [She]_221-isabelle added , sotto voce : "_{[1137-ca ira]} Pour assurer votre salut la - haut , on ferait bien de vous bruler toute vive ici - bas . " [I]_190-madame laughed , as , indeed , it was impossible to do otherwise . Has [the reader]_{759-the reader} forgotten [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ? If so , [I]_190-madame must be allowed to re - introduce [that young lady]_{4227-that young lady} as [a thriving pupil of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's]_{4916-a thriving pupil of madame beck 's} ; for such [she]_{4227-that young lady} was . On [her]_{4227-that young lady} arrival in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} , two or three days after [my]_190-madame sudden settlement [there]_512-there , [she]_{4227-that young lady} encountered [me]_190-madame with very little surprise . [She]_{4227-that young lady} must have had good blood in [her]_{4227-that young lady} veins , for never was [any duchess]_{4919-any duchess} more perfectly , radically , unaffectedly nonchalante than [she]_{4227-that young lady} : [a weak , transient amaze]_{4920-a weak , transient amaze} was all [she]_{4227-that young lady} knew of the sensation of wonder . Most of [her]_{4227-that young lady} other faculties seemed to be in the same flimsy condition : [her]_{4227-that young lady} liking and disliking , [her]_{4227-that young lady} love and hate , were mere cobweb and gossamer ; but [she]_{4227-that young lady} had one thing about [her]_{4227-that young lady} that seemed strong and durable enough , and that was - [her]_{4227-that young lady} selfishness . [She]_{4227-that young lady} was not proud ; and - [bonne d'enfants]_{222-bonne d'enfants} as [I]_190-madame was - [she]_{4227-that young lady} would forthwith have made of [me]_190-madame a sort of [friend and confidant]_{4921-friend and confidant} . [She]_{4227-that young lady} teased [me]_190-madame with a thousand vapid complaints about school - quarrels and household economy : the cookery was not to [her]_{4227-that young lady} taste ; [the people about [her]_{4227-that young lady}]_{4922-the people about her} , [teachers]_{1087-teachers} and [pupils]_4924-pupils , [she]_{4227-that young lady} held to be despicable , because [they]_{4922-the people about her} were [foreigners]_{4583-foreigners} . [I]_190-madame bore with [her]_{4227-that young lady} abuse of the Friday 's salt fish and hard eggs - with [her]_{4227-that young lady} invective against the soup , the bread , the coffee - with some patience for a time ; but at last , wearied by iteration , [I]_190-madame turned crusty , and put [her]_{4227-that young lady} to rights : a thing [I]_190-madame ought to have done in the very beginning , for a salutary setting down always agreed with [her]_{4227-that young lady} . Much longer had [I]_190-madame to endure [her]_{4227-that young lady} demands on [me]_190-madame in the way of work . [Her]_{4227-that young lady} wardrobe , so far as concerned articles of external wear , was well and elegantly supplied ; but there were other habiliments not so carefully provided : what [she]_{4227-that young lady} had , needed frequent repair . [She]_{4227-that young lady} hated needle- drudgery [herself]_{4227-that young lady} , and [she]_{4227-that young lady} would bring [her]_{4227-that young lady} hose , c. to [me]_190-madame in heaps , to be mended . A compliance of some weeks threatening to result in the establishment of [an intolerable bore]_{4926-an intolerable bore} - [I]_190-madame at last distinctly told [her]_{4227-that young lady} [she]_{4227-that young lady} must make up [her]_{4227-that young lady} mind to mend [her]_{4227-that young lady} own garments . [She]_{4227-that young lady} cried on receiving this information , and accused [me]_190-madame of having ceased to be [[her]_{4227-that young lady} friend]_{4927-her friend} ; but [I]_190-madame held by [my]_190-madame decision , and let the hysterics pass as they could . Notwithstanding these foibles , and various others needless to mention - but by no means of a refined or elevating character - how pretty [she]_{4227-that young lady} was ! How charming [she]_{4227-that young lady} looked , when [she]_{4227-that young lady} came down on a sunny Sunday morning , well - dressed and well - humoured , robed in pale lilac silk , and with [her]_{4227-that young lady} fair long curls reposing on [her]_{4227-that young lady} white shoulders . Sunday was a holiday which [she]_{4227-that young lady} always passed with [[friends]_533-friends resident in [town]_4930-town]_{4929-friends resident in town} ; and amongst these friends [she]_{4227-that young lady} speedily gave [me]_190-madame to understand was one who would fain become something more . By glimpses and hints it was shown [me]_190-madame , and by the general buoyancy of [her]_{4227-that young lady} look and manner it was ere long proved , that ardent admiration - perhaps genuine love - was at [her]_{4227-that young lady} command . [She]_{4227-that young lady} called [[her]_{4227-that young lady} suitor]_{4931-her suitor} "_[190-madame] [Isidore]_190-madame : " this , however , [she]_{4227-that young lady} intimated was not [his]_{4931-her suitor} real name , but one by which it pleased [her]_{4227-that young lady} to baptize [him]_{4931-her suitor} - [his]_{4931-her suitor} own , [she]_{4227-that young lady} hinted , not being "_[190-madame] very pretty . " Once , when [she]_{4227-that young lady} had been bragging about the vehemence of "_[190-madame] [Isidore]_190-madame 's " attachment , [I]_190-madame asked if [she]_{4227-that young lady} loved [him]_{4931-her suitor} in return . "_[190-madame] Comme cela , " said [she]_{4227-that young lady} : "_[190-madame] [he]_1139-he is handsome , and [he]_1139-he loves [me]_0-i to distraction , so that [I]_0-i am well amused . Ca suffit . " Finding that [she]_{4227-that young lady} carried the thing on longer than , from [her]_{4227-that young lady} very fickle tastes , [I]_190-madame had anticipated , [I]_190-madame one day took it upon [me]_190-madame to make serious inquiries as to whether [the gentleman]_{4574-the gentleman} was such as [[her]_{4227-that young lady} parents]_{4933-her parents} , and especially [[her]_{4227-that young lady} uncle]_{4934-her uncle} - on whom , it appeared , [she]_{4227-that young lady} was dependent - would be likely to approve . [She]_{4227-that young lady} allowed that this was very doubtful , as [she]_{4227-that young lady} did not believe "_[190-madame] [Isidore]_190-madame " had much money . "_[0-i] Do [you]_0-i encourage [him]_1139-he ? " [I]_0-i asked . "_[0-i] Furieusement sometimes , " said [she]_{4227-that young lady} . "_[0-i] Without being certain that [you]_0-i will be permitted to marry [him]_1139-he ? " "_[0-i] Oh , how dowdyish [you]_0-i are ! [I]_0-i do n't want to be married . [I]_0-i am too young . " "_[0-i] But if [he]_1139-he loves [you]_0-i as much as [you]_0-i say , and yet it comes to nothing in the end , [he]_1139-he will be made miserable . " "_[1139-he] Of course [he]_1139-he will break [his]_1139-he heart . [I]_0-i should be shocked and , disappointed if [he]_1139-he did n't . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder whether this M. [Isidore]_190-madame is [a fool]_{1140-a fool} ? " said [I.]_0-i "_[1139-he] [He]_1139-he is , about [me]_0-i ; but [he]_1139-he is wise in other things , a ce qu'on dit . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} considers [him]_1139-he extremely clever : [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} says [he]_1139-he will push [his]_1139-he way by [his]_1139-he talents ; all [I]_0-i know is , that [he]_1139-he does little more than sigh in [my]_0-i presence , and that [I]_0-i can wind [him]_1139-he round [my]_0-i little finger . " Wishing to get a more definite idea of this love - stricken [M. Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} ; whose position seemed to [me]_{1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon} of the least secure , [I]_{1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon} requested [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} to favour [me]_{1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon} with a personal description ; but [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} could not describe : [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} had neither words nor the power of putting them together so as to make graphic phrases . [She]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} even seemed not properly to have noticed [him]_1139-he : nothing of [his]_1139-he looks , of the changes in [his]_1139-he countenance , had touched [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} heart or dwelt in [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} memory - that [he]_1139-he was "_{[1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon]} beau , [mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon]_{1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon} , " was all [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} could assert . [My]_0-i patience would often have failed , and [my]_0-i interest flagged , in listening to [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , but for one thing . All the hints [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} dropped , all the details [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} gave , went unconsciously to prove , to [my]_0-i thinking , that [M. Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} 's homage was offered with great delicacy and respect . [I]_0-i informed [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} very plainly that [I]_0-i believed [him]_1139-he much too good for [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , and intimated with equal plainness [my]_0-i impression that [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} was but [a vain coquette]_{4935-a vain coquette} . [She]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} laughed , shook [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} curls from [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} eyes , and danced away as if [I]_0-i had paid [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} a compliment . [[Miss Ginevra]_179-ginevra 's school]_{4936-miss ginevra 's school} - studies were little better than nominal ; there were but three things [she]_179-ginevra practised in earnest , viz . music , singing , and dancing ; also embroidering the fine cambric handkerchiefs which [she]_179-ginevra could not afford to buy ready worked : such mere trifles as lessons in history , geography , grammar , and arithmetic , [she]_179-ginevra left undone , or got [others]_770-others to do for [her]_179-ginevra . Very much of [her]_179-ginevra time was spent in visiting . [Madame]_190-madame , aware that [her]_179-ginevra stay at [school]_675-school was now limited to a certain period , which would not be extended whether [she]_179-ginevra made progress or not , allowed [her]_179-ginevra great licence in this particular . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} - [[her]_179-ginevra chaperon]_{4939-her chaperon} - [a gay , fashionable lady]_{4940-a gay , fashionable lady} , invited [her]_179-ginevra whenever [she]_179-ginevra had company at [[her]_179-ginevra own house]_{4941-her own house} , and sometimes took [her]_179-ginevra to evening - parties at [the houses of [her]_179-ginevra acquaintance]_{4942-the houses of her acquaintance} . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra perfectly approved this mode of procedure : it had but one inconvenience ; [she]_179-ginevra was obliged to be well dressed , and [she]_179-ginevra had not money to buy variety of dresses . All [her]_179-ginevra thoughts turned on this difficulty ; [her]_179-ginevra whole soul was occupied with expedients for effecting its solution . It was wonderful to witness the activity of [her]_179-ginevra otherwise indolent mind on this point , and to see the much - daring intrepidity to which [she]_179-ginevra was spurred by a sense of necessity , and the wish to shine . [She]_179-ginevra begged boldly of [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} - boldly , [I]_0-i say : not with an air of reluctant shame , but in this strain : - "_[0-i] [My]_0-i darling [Mrs. C.]_{225-mrs. c.} , [I]_0-i have nothing in [the world]_{811-the world} fit to wear for [your]_{225-mrs. c.} party next week ; [you]_{225-mrs. c.} must give [me]_0-i a book - muslin dress , and then a ceinture bleu celeste : do - there 's [an angel]_{1143-an angel} ! will [you]_{225-mrs. c.} ? " The "_{[225-mrs. c.]} darling Mrs. C. " yielded at first ; but finding that applications increased as they were complied with , [she]_179-ginevra was soon obliged , like [all [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's friends]_{4943-all miss fanshawe 's friends} , to oppose resistance to encroachment . After a while [I]_{225-mrs. c.} heard no more of [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} 's presents ; but still , visiting went on , and the absolutely necessary dresses continued to be supplied : also many little expensive etcetera - gloves , bouquets , even trinkets . These things , contrary to [her]_179-ginevra custom , and even nature - for [she]_179-ginevra was not secretive - were most sedulously kept out of sight for a time ; but one evening , when [she]_179-ginevra was going to a large party for which particular care and elegance of costume were demanded , [she]_179-ginevra could not resist coming to [[my]_{225-mrs. c.} chamber]_{4944-my chamber} to show [herself]_179-ginevra in all [her]_179-ginevra splendour . Beautiful [she]_179-ginevra looked : so young , so fresh , and with a delicacy of skin and flexibility of shape altogether English , and not found in the list of continental female charms . [Her]_179-ginevra dress was new , costly , and perfect . [I]_{225-mrs. c.} saw at a glance that it lacked none of those finishing details which cost so much , and give to the general effect such an air of tasteful completeness . [I]_{225-mrs. c.} viewed [her]_179-ginevra from top to toe . [She]_179-ginevra turned airily round that [I]_{225-mrs. c.} might survey [her]_179-ginevra on all sides . Conscious of [her]_179-ginevra charms , [she]_179-ginevra was in [her]_179-ginevra best humour : [her]_179-ginevra rather small blue eyes sparkled gleefully . [She]_179-ginevra was going to bestow on [me]_{225-mrs. c.} a kiss , in [her]_179-ginevra school - girl fashion of showing [her]_179-ginevra delights but [I]_{225-mrs. c.} said , "_{[225-mrs. c.]} Steady ! Let [us]_1144-us be [Steady]_226-steady , and know what [we]_1144-us are about , and find out the meaning of [our]_1144-us magnificence " - and so put [her]_179-ginevra off at arm 's length , to undergo cooler inspection . "_[0-i] Shall [I]_0-i do ? " was [her]_179-ginevra question . "_[0-i] Do ? " said [I.]_{225-mrs. c.} "_[0-i] There are different ways of doing ; and , by [my]_0-i word , [I]_0-i do n't understand [yours]_1145-yours . " "_[0-i] But how do [I]_0-i look ? " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i look well dressed . " [She]_179-ginevra thought the praise not warm enough , and proceeded to direct attention to the various decorative points of [her]_179-ginevra attire . "_[0-i] Look at this parure , " said [she]_179-ginevra . "_[0-i] The brooch , the ear - rings , the bracelets : [no one in the school]_{1146-no one in the school} has such a set - not [Madame]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i see them all . " Pause . "_[0-i] Did [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} give [you]_0-i those jewels ? " "_{[4462-my uncle]} [[My]_0-i uncle]_{4462-my uncle} knows nothing about them . " "_{[4462-my uncle]} Were they presents from [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} ? " "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} Not they , indeed . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} is [a mean , stingy creature]_{1148-a mean , stingy creature} ; [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} never gives [me]_0-i anything now . " [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} did not choose to ask any further questions , but turned abruptly away . "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} Now , [old Crusty - old Diogenes]_{227-old crusty - old diogenes} " these were [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} familiar terms for [me]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} when [we]_4945-we disagreed , "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} what is the matter now ? " "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} Take [yourself]_0-i away . [I]_0-i have no pleasure in looking at [you]_0-i or [your]_0-i parure . " For an instant , [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} seemed taken by surprise . "_[0-i] What now , [Mother Wisdom]_{228-mother wisdom} ? [I]_0-i have not got into debt for it - that is , not for the jewels , nor the gloves , nor the bouquet . [My]_0-i dress is certainly not paid for , but uncle [de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} will pay it in the bill : [he]_{4462-my uncle} never notices items , but just looks at the total ; and [he]_{4462-my uncle} is so rich , [one]_607-one need not care about a few guineas more or less . " "_[0-i] Will [you]_0-i go ? [I]_0-i want to shut the door .... [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , [people]_531-people may tell [you]_0-i [you]_0-i are very handsome in that ball - attire ; but , in [my]_0-i eyes , [you]_0-i will never look so pretty as [you]_0-i did in the gingham gown and plain straw bonnet [you]_0-i wore when [I]_0-i first saw [you]_0-i . " "_{[1151-other people]} [Other people]_{1151-other people} have not [your]_0-i puritanical tastes , " was [her]_179-ginevra angry reply . "_{[1151-other people]} And , besides , [I]_0-i see no right [you]_0-i have to sermonize [me]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Certainly ! [I]_0-i have little right ; and [you]_0-i , perhaps , have still less to come flourishing and fluttering into [[my]_0-i chamber]_{4944-my chamber} - a mere jay in borrowed plumes . [I]_0-i have not the least respect for [your]_0-i feathers , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ; and especially the peacock 's eyes [you]_0-i call a parure : very pretty things , if [you]_0-i had bought them with money which was [your]_0-i own , and which [you]_0-i could well spare , but not at all pretty under present circumstances . " "_{[179-ginevra]} On est la pour Mademoiselle [Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ! " was announced by [the portress]_{1079-the portress} , and away [she]_179-ginevra tripped . This semi - mystery of the parure was not solved till two or three days afterwards , when [she]_179-ginevra came to make a voluntary confession . "_{[179-ginevra]} [You]_0-i need not be sulky with [me]_0-i , " [she]_179-ginevra began , "_[0-i] in the idea that [I]_0-i am running [somebody]_{4307-somebody} , [papa]_4218-papa or [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , deeply into debt . [I]_0-i assure [you]_0-i nothing remains unpaid for , but the few dresses [I]_0-i have lately had : all the rest is settled . " "_[0-i] There , " [I]_0-i thought , "_[0-i] lies the mystery ; considering that they were not given [you]_0-i by [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , and that [your]_0-i own means are limited to a few shillings , of which [I]_0-i know [you]_0-i to be excessively careful . " "_[0-i] [Ecoutez]_229-ecoutez ! " [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} went on , drawing near and speaking in [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} most confidential and coaxing tone ; for [my]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} ' sulkiness "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} was inconvenient to [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} : [she]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} liked [me]_0-i to be in a talking and listening mood , even if [I]_0-i only talked to chide and listened to rail . " Ecoutez , chere grogneuse ! [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} will tell [you]_0-i all how and about it ; and [you]_0-i will then see , not only how right the whole thing is , but how cleverly managed . In the first place , [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} must go out . [Papa]_140-papa [himself]_140-papa said that [he]_140-papa wished [me]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} to see something of [the world]_{811-the world} ; [he]_140-papa particularly remarked to [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , that , though [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} was [a sweet creature enough]_{4948-a sweet creature enough} , [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} had rather a bread - and - butter - eating , school - girl air ; of which it was [his]_140-papa special desire that [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} should get rid , by an introduction to society here , before [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} make [my]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} regular debut in [England]_19-england . Well , then , if [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} go out , [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} must dress . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} is turned shabby , and will give nothing more ; it would be too hard upon [uncle]_4949-uncle to make [him]_4949-uncle pay for all the things [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} need : that [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} ca n't deny - that agrees with [your]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} own preachments . Well , but SOMEBODY who heard [me]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} quite by chance , [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} assure [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} complaining to [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} of [my]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} distressed circumstances , and what straits [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} was put to for an ornament or two - [somebody]_{4307-somebody} , far from grudging one a present , was quite delighted at the idea of being permitted to offer some trifle . [You]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} should have seen what a blanc - bec [he]_4949-uncle looked when [he]_4949-uncle first spoke of it : how [he]_4949-uncle hesitated and blushed , and positively trembled from fear of a repulse . "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} " That will do , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra . [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} suppose [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} am to understand that [M. Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} is [the benefactor]_{4951-the benefactor} : that it is from [him]_{224-m. isidore} [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} have accepted that costly parure ; that [he]_{224-m. isidore} supplies [your]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} bouquets and [your]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} gloves ? "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} " [You]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} express [yourself]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} so disagreeably , "_[1155-she] said [she]_1155-she , " [one]_607-one hardly knows how to answer ; what [I]_1155-she mean to say is , that [I]_1155-she occasionally allow [Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} the pleasure and honour of expressing [his]_{224-m. isidore} homage by the offer of a trifle . "_[1155-she] " It comes to the same thing .... Now , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , to speak the plain truth , [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} do n't very well understand these matters ; but [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} believe [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} are doing very wrong - seriously wrong . Perhaps , however , [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} now feel certain that [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} will be able to marry [M. Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} ; [[your]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} parents]_{4953-your parents} and [uncle]_4949-uncle have given [their]_{4953-your parents} consent , and , for [your]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} part , [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} love [him]_{224-m. isidore} entirely ? "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} " Mais pas du tout ! "_[1155-she] [she]_1155-she always had recourse to French when about to say something specially heartless and perverse . " Je suis sa reine , mais il n'est pas mon roi . "_[1155-she] " Excuse [me]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , [I]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} must believe this language is mere nonsense and coquetry . There is nothing great about [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , yet [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} are above profiting by the good nature and purse of [a man to whom [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} feel absolute indifference]_{4955-a man to whom you feel absolute indifference} . [You]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} love [M. Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} far more than [you]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} think , or will avow . "_{[223-mrs. cholmondeley]} " No . [I]_1156-i danced with [a young officer]_{4956-a young officer} the other night , whom [I]_1156-i love a thousand times more than [he]_{224-m. isidore} . [I]_1156-i often wonder why [I]_1156-i feel so very cold to [Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} , for [everybody]_{4957-everybody} says [he]_{224-m. isidore} is handsome , and [other ladies]_{4958-other ladies} admire [him]_{224-m. isidore} ; but , somehow , [he]_{224-m. isidore} bores [me]_1156-i : let [me]_1156-i see now how it is .... "_[1156-i] And [she]_1156-i seemed to make an effort to reflect . In this [I]_0-i encouraged [her]_1156-i . " Yes ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , " try to get a clear idea of the state of [your]_1156-i mind . To [me]_0-i it seems in a great mess - chaotic as a rag - bag . "_[0-i] " It is something in this fashion , "_[1156-i] [she]_1156-i cried out ere long : " [the man]_{4959-the man} is too romantic and devoted , and [he]_{4959-the man} expects something more of [me]_1156-i than [I]_1156-i find it convenient to be . [He]_{4959-the man} thinks [I]_1156-i am perfect : furnished with all sorts of sterling qualities and solid virtues , such as [I]_1156-i never had , nor intend to have . Now , one ca n't help , in [his]_{4959-the man} presence , rather trying to justify [his]_{4959-the man} good opinion ; and it does so tire [one]_607-one to be goody , and to talk sense , - for [he]_{4959-the man} really thinks [I]_1156-i am sensible . [I]_1156-i am far more at [my]_1156-i ease with [you]_1156-i , [old lady]_{4961-old lady} - [you]_1156-i , [[you]_1156-i dear crosspatch]_{4962-you dear crosspatch} - who take [me]_1156-i at [my]_1156-i lowest , and know [me]_1156-i to be coquettish , and ignorant , and flirting , and fickle , and silly , and selfish , and all the other sweet things [you]_1156-i and [I]_1156-i have agreed to be a part of [my]_1156-i character . "_[1156-i] " This is all very well , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , making a strenuous effort to preserve that gravity and severity which ran risk of being shaken by this whimsical candour , " but it does not alter that wretched business of the presents . Pack them up , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , like [a good , honest girl]_{4963-a good , honest girl} , and send them back . "_[0-i] " Indeed , [I]_1157-i wo n't , "_[1157-i] said [she]_1157-i , stoutly . " Then [you]_1156-i are deceiving [M. Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} . It stands to reason that by accepting [his]_{224-m. isidore} presents [you]_1156-i give [him]_{224-m. isidore} to understand [he]_{224-m. isidore} will one day receive an equivalent , in [your]_1156-i regard ... "_[1157-i] " But [he]_{224-m. isidore} wo n't , "_[1157-i] [she]_1157-i interrupted : " [he]_{224-m. isidore} has [his]_{224-m. isidore} equivalent now , in the pleasure of seeing [me]_1157-i wear them - quite enough for [him]_{224-m. isidore} : [he]_{224-m. isidore} is only bourgeois . "_[1157-i] This phrase , in its senseless arrogance , quite cured [me]_0-i of the temporary weakness which had made [me]_0-i relax [my]_0-i tone and aspect . [She]_1157-i rattled on : " [My]_1157-i present business is to enjoy youth , and not to think of fettering [myself]_1157-i , by promise or vow , to [this man]_{4628-this man} or that . When first [I]_1157-i saw [Isidore]_{224-m. isidore} , [I]_1157-i believed [he]_{224-m. isidore} would help [me]_1157-i to enjoy it [I]_1157-i believed [he]_{224-m. isidore} would be content with [my]_1157-i being [a pretty girl]_{4965-a pretty girl} ; and that [we]_4966-we should meet and part and flutter about like two butterflies , and be happy . Lo , and behold ! [I]_1157-i find [him]_{224-m. isidore} at times as grave as [a judge]_{4967-a judge} , and deep - feeling and thoughtful . Bah ! [Les penseurs]_{4968-les penseurs} , [les hommes profonds et passionnes]_{4969-les hommes profonds et passionnes} ne sont pas a mon gout . [Le Colonel Alfred de Hamal]_230-alfred suits [me]_1157-i far better . Va pour les beaux fats et les jolis fripons ! Vive les joies et les plaisirs ! A bas les grandes passions et les severes vertus ! "_[1157-i] [She]_1158-she looked for an answer to this tirade . [I]_0-i gave none . " J'aime mon beau Colonel , "_[1158-she] [she]_1158-she went on : " je n'aimerai jamais [son rival]_{4970-son rival} . Je ne serai jamais femme de bourgeois , moi ! "_[1158-she] [I]_0-i now signified that it was imperatively necessary [[my]_0-i apartment]_{1159-my apartment} should be relieved of the honour of [her]_1158-she presence : [she]_1158-she went away laughing . [CHAPTER X. DR JOHN]_{231-chapter x. dr john} . [Madame Beck]_190-madame was [a most consistent character]_{1160-a most consistent character} ; forbearing with all [the world]_{811-the world} , and tender to no part of it . [[Her]_190-madame own children]_{1108-her own children} drew [her]_190-madame into no deviation from the even tenor of [her]_190-madame stoic calm . [She]_190-madame was solicitous about [[her]_190-madame family]_{1163-her family} , vigilant for [their]_{1163-her family} interests and physical well- being ; but [she]_190-madame never seemed to know the wish to take [[her]_190-madame little children]_{1164-her little children} upon [her]_190-madame lap , to press [their]_{1164-her little children} rosy lips with [her]_190-madame own , to gather [them]_{1164-her little children} in a genial embrace , to shower on [them]_{1164-her little children} softly the benignant caress , the loving word . [I]_0-i have watched [her]_190-madame sometimes sitting in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , viewing the little bees afar off , as [they]_{1164-her little children} walked in [a distant alley]_{1166-a distant alley} with [Trinette]_232-trinette , [[their]_{1164-her little children} bonne]_{1167-their bonne} ; in [her]_190-madame mien spoke care and prudence . [I]_0-i know [she]_190-madame often pondered anxiously what [she]_190-madame called " leur avenir ; "_[190-madame] but if [the youngest]_{1168-the youngest} , [a puny and delicate but engaging child]_{1169-a puny and delicate but engaging child} , chancing to spy [her]_190-madame , broke from [[its]_{1168-the youngest} nurse]_{1170-its nurse} , and toddling down [the walk]_{1171-the walk} , came all eager and laughing and panting to clasp [her]_190-madame knee , [Madame]_190-madame would just calmly put out one hand , so as to prevent inconvenient concussion from [the child]_{4206-the child} 's sudden onset : " Prends garde , mon enfant ! "_[190-madame] [she]_190-madame would say unmoved , patiently permit [it]_{4206-the child} to stand near [her]_190-madame a few moments , and then , without smile or kiss , or endearing syllable , rise and lead it back to [Trinette]_232-trinette . [Her]_190-madame demeanour to [the eldest girl]_{4807-the eldest girl} was equally characteristic in another way . This was [a vicious child]_{1174-a vicious child} . " Quelle peste que cette Desiree ! Quel poison que cet enfant la ! "_[190-madame] were the expressions dedicated to [her]_190-madame , alike in [kitchen]_1175-kitchen and in [schoolroom]_{1176-schoolroom} . Amongst [her]_190-madame other endowments [she]_190-madame boasted an exquisite skill in the art , of provocation , sometimes driving [her]_190-madame bonne and [the servants]_{1177-the servants} almost wild . [She]_190-madame would steal to [[their]_{1177-the servants} attics]_{1178-their attics} , open [their]_{1177-the servants} drawers and boxes , wantonly tear [their]_{1177-the servants} best caps and soil [their]_{1177-the servants} best shawls ; [she]_190-madame would watch [her]_190-madame opportunity to get at the buffet of [the salle]_{1179-the salle} - a - manger , where [she]_190-madame would smash articles of porcelain or glass - or to the cupboard of [the storeroom]_{1180-the storeroom} , where [she]_190-madame would plunder the preserves , drink the sweet wine , break jars and bottles , and so contrive as to throw the onus of suspicion on [the cook]_{4341-the cook} and [the kitchen - maid]_{1182-the kitchen - maid} . All this when [Madame]_190-madame saw , and of which when [she]_190-madame received report , [her]_190-madame sole observation , uttered with matchless serenity , was : " [Desiree]_208-desiree [a besoin d'une surveillance toute particuliere]_{4971-a besoin d'une surveillance toute particuliere} . "_[190-madame] Accordingly [she]_190-madame kept this promising olive - branch a good deal at [her]_190-madame side . Never once , [I]_0-i believe , did [she]_190-madame tell [her]_190-madame faithfully of [her]_190-madame faults , explain the evil of such habits , and show the results which must thence ensue . [Surveillance]_{233-surveillance} must work the whole cure . It failed of course . [Desiree]_208-desiree was kept in some measure from [the servants]_{1177-the servants} , but [she]_208-desiree teased and pillaged [[her]_208-desiree mamma]_{4207-her mamma} instead . Whatever belonging to [Madame]_190-madame 's work - table or toilet [she]_208-desiree could lay [her]_208-desiree hands on , [she]_208-desiree stole and hid . [Madame]_190-madame saw all this , but [she]_190-madame still pretended not to see : [she]_190-madame had not rectitude of soul to confront [the child]_{4206-the child} with [her]_208-desiree vices . When an article disappeared whose value rendered restitution necessary , [she]_190-madame would profess to think that [Desiree]_208-desiree had taken it away in play , and beg [her]_190-madame to restore it . [Desiree]_208-desiree was not to be so cheated : [she]_208-desiree had learned to bring falsehood to the aid of theft , and would deny having touched the brooch , ring , or scissors . Carrying on the hollow system , [the mother]_{881-the mother} would calmly assume an air of belief , and afterwards ceaselessly watch and dog [the child]_{4206-the child} till [she]_{881-the mother} tracked [her]_{4206-the child} : to [her]_208-desiree hiding - places - some hole in [the garden - wall]_{1188-the garden - wall} - some chink or cranny in garret or [out - house]_{1189-out - house} . This done , [Madame]_190-madame would send [Desiree]_208-desiree out for a walk with [[her]_190-madame bonne]_{1190-her bonne} , and profit by [her]_208-desiree absence to rob [the robber]_{1191-the robber} . [Desiree]_208-desiree proved [herself]_208-desiree [the true daughter of [[her]_208-desiree astute parent]_{1193-her astute parent}]_{1192-the true daughter of her astute parent} , by never suffering either [her]_208-desiree countenance or manner to betray the least sign of mortification on discovering the loss . [The second child]_{1194-the second child} , [Fifine]_211-fifine , was said to be like [its dead father]_{1195-its dead father} . Certainly , though [the mother]_{881-the mother} had given [it]_211-fifine [her]_{881-the mother} healthy frame , [her]_{881-the mother} blue eye and ruddy cheek , not from [her]_{881-the mother} was derived [its]_211-fifine moral being . [It]_211-fifine was [an honest , gleeful little soul]_{1197-an honest , gleeful little soul} : [a passionate , warm - tempered , bustling creature it was too , and of the sort likely to blunder often into perils and difficulties]_{1198-a passionate , warm - tempered , bustling creature it was too , and of the sort likely to blunder often into perils and difficulties} . One day it bethought itself to fall from top to bottom of [a steep flight of stone steps]_{1199-a steep flight of stone steps} ; and when [Madame]_190-madame , hearing the noise [she]_190-madame always heard every noise , issued from [the salle -]_{1200-the salle -} [a- manger]_{1201-a- manger} and picked it up , [she]_190-madame said quietly , - " Cet enfant a un os casse . "_[190-madame] At first [we]_1202-we hoped this was not the case . It was , however , but too true : one little plump arm hung powerless . " Let [Meess]_0-i "_[0-i] meaning [me]_0-i " take [her]_190-madame , "_[190-madame] said [Madame]_190-madame ; " et qu'on aille tout de suite chercher un fiacre . "_[190-madame] In a fiacre [she]_190-madame promptly , but with admirable coolness and self- possession , departed to fetch [a surgeon]_{1203-a surgeon} . It appeared [she]_190-madame did not find [the family - surgeon]_{1204-the family - surgeon} at [home]_542-home ; but that mattered not : [she]_190-madame sought until [she]_190-madame laid [her]_190-madame hand on a substitute to [her]_190-madame mind , and brought [him]_{1204-the family - surgeon} back with [her]_190-madame . Meantime [I]_0-i had cut [the child]_{4206-the child} 's sleeve from [its]_{4206-the child} arm , undressed and put [it]_{4206-the child} to bed . [We]_1202-we none of [us]_1202-we , [I]_0-i suppose by [we]_1202-we [I]_0-i mean [the bonne]_{1207-the bonne} , [the cook]_{4341-the cook} , [the portress]_{1079-the portress} , and [myself]_0-i , all which [personages]_{1210-personages} were now gathered in [the small and heated chamber]_{1211-the small and heated chamber} , looked very scrutinizingly at [the new doctor]_{1212-the new doctor} when [he]_{1212-the new doctor} came into [the room]_{600-the room} . [I]_0-i , at least , was taken up with endeavouring to soothe [Fifine]_211-fifine ; whose cries for [she]_211-fifine had good lungs were appalling to hear . These cries redoubled in intensity as [the stranger]_{4688-the stranger} approached [her]_211-fifine bed ; when [he]_{4688-the stranger} took [her]_211-fifine up , " Let alone ! "_[211-fifine] [she]_211-fifine cried passionately , in [her]_211-fifine broken English for [she]_211-fifine spoke English as did [the other children]_{1215-the other children} . " [I]_211-fifine will not [you]_211-fifine : [I]_211-fifine will [Dr. Pillule]_{234-dr. pillule} ! "_[211-fifine] " And [Dr. Pillule]_{234-dr. pillule} is [[my]_{4688-the stranger} very good friend]_{4972-my very good friend} , "_{[4688-the stranger]} was the answer , in perfect English ; " but [he]_{234-dr. pillule} is busy at a place three leagues off , and [I]_{4688-the stranger} am come in [his]_{234-dr. pillule} stead . So now , when [we]_4973-we get a little calmer , [we]_4973-we must commence business ; and [we]_4973-we will soon have that unlucky little arm bandaged and in right order . "_{[4688-the stranger]} Hereupon [he]_{4688-the stranger} called for a glass of eau sucree , fed [her]_211-fifine with some teaspoonfuls of the sweet liquid [Fifine]_211-fifine was [a frank gourmande]_{1216-a frank gourmande} ; [anybody]_4239-anybody could win [her]_211-fifine heart through [her]_211-fifine palate , promised [her]_211-fifine more when the operation should be over , and promptly went to work . Some assistance being needed , [he]_{4688-the stranger} demanded it of [the cook]_{4341-the cook} , [a robust , strong- armed woman]_{1219-a robust , strong- armed woman} ; but [she]_{4341-the cook} , [the portress]_{1079-the portress} , and [the nurse]_{588-the nurse} instantly fled . [I]_0-i did not like to touch that small , tortured limb , but thinking there was no alternative , [my]_0-i hand was already extended to do what was requisite . [I]_0-i was anticipated ; [Madame Beck]_190-madame had put out [her]_190-madame own hand : hers was steady while mine trembled . " Ca vaudra mieux , "_{[4288-the doctor]} said [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} , turning from [me]_0-i to [her]_211-fifine . [He]_{4288-the doctor} showed wisdom in [his]_{4288-the doctor} choice . [Mine]_0-i would have been feigned stoicism , forced fortitude . [Hers]_211-fifine was neither forced nor feigned . " Merci , [Madame]_4736-madame ; tres bien , fort bien ! "_{[1223-the operator]} said [the operator]_{1223-the operator} when [he]_{4688-the stranger} had finished . " Voila un sang - froid bien opportun , et qui vaut mille elans de sensibilite deplacee . "_{[1223-the operator]} [He]_{4288-the doctor} was pleased with [her]_211-fifine firmness , [she]_211-fifine with [his]_{4288-the doctor} compliment . It was likely , too , that [his]_{4288-the doctor} whole general appearance , [his]_{4288-the doctor} voice , mien , and manner , wrought impressions in [his]_{4288-the doctor} favour . Indeed , when [you]_1224-you looked well at [him]_{4288-the doctor} , and when a lamp was brought in - for it was evening and now waxing dusk - [you]_1224-you saw that , unless [Madame Beck]_190-madame had been less than [woman]_619-woman , it could not well be otherwise . [This young doctor]_{1226-this young doctor} [he]_{4288-the doctor} was young had no common aspect . [His]_{4288-the doctor} stature looked imposingly tall in [that little chamber]_{1227-that little chamber} , and amidst [that group of [Dutch - made women]_{1229-dutch - made women}]_{1228-that group of dutch - made women} ; [his]_{4288-the doctor} profile was clear , fine and expressive : perhaps [his]_{4288-the doctor} eye glanced from face to face rather too vividly , too quickly , and too often ; but it had a most pleasant character , and so had [his]_{4288-the doctor} mouth ; [his]_{4288-the doctor} chin was full , cleft , Grecian , and perfect . As to [his]_{4288-the doctor} smile , one could not in a hurry make up [one]_607-one 's mind as to the descriptive epithet it merited ; there was something in it that pleased , but something too that brought surging up into the mind all [one]_607-one 's foibles and weak points : all that could lay one open to a laugh . Yet [Fifine]_211-fifine liked this doubtful smile , and thought [the owner genial]_{1232-the owner genial} : much as [he]_{4288-the doctor} had hurt [her]_190-madame , [she]_190-madame held out [her]_190-madame hand to bid [him]_{4288-the doctor} a friendly good - night . [He]_{4288-the doctor} patted the little hand kindly , and then [he]_{4288-the doctor} and [Madame]_190-madame went down - stairs together ; [she]_190-madame talking in [her]_190-madame highest tide of spirits and volubility , [he]_{4288-the doctor} listening with an air of good - natured amenity , dashed with that unconscious roguish archness [I]_0-i find it difficult to describe . [I]_0-i noticed that though [he]_{4288-the doctor} spoke French well , [he]_{4288-the doctor} spoke English better ; [he]_{4288-the doctor} had , too , an English complexion , eyes , and form . [I]_0-i noticed more . As [he]_{4288-the doctor} passed [me]_0-i in leaving [the room]_{600-the room} , turning [his]_{4288-the doctor} face in [my]_0-i direction one moment - not to address [me]_0-i , but to speak to [Madame]_190-madame , yet so standing , that [I]_0-i almost necessarily looked up at [him]_{4288-the doctor} - a recollection which had been struggling to form in [my]_0-i memory , since the first moment [I]_0-i heard [his]_{4288-the doctor} voice , started up perfected . This was [the very gentleman to whom [I]_0-i had spoken at [the bureau]_{1235-the bureau}]_{1234-the very gentleman to whom i had spoken at the bureau} ; who had helped [me]_0-i in the matter of the trunk ; who had been [[my]_0-i guide]_{4697-my guide} through [the dark , wet park]_{1237-the dark , wet park} . Listening , as [he]_{4288-the doctor} passed down [the long vestibule out into [the street]_{623-the street}]_{1238-the long vestibule out into the street} , [I]_0-i recognised [his]_{4288-the doctor} very tread : it was the same firm and equal stride [I]_0-i had followed under the dripping trees . It was , to be concluded that [this young surgeon - physician]_{1240-this young surgeon - physician} 's first visit to [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} would be the last . The respectable [Dr. Pillule]_{234-dr. pillule} being expected [home]_542-home the next day , there appeared no reason why [[his]_{234-dr. pillule} temporary substitute]_{1243-his temporary substitute} should again represent [him]_{234-dr. pillule} ; but [the Fates]_{1244-the fates} had written [their]_{1244-the fates} decree to the contrary . [Dr. Pillule]_{234-dr. pillule} had been summoned to see [a rich old hypochondriac at [the antique university town of [Bouquin - Moisi]_{49-bouquin - moisi}]_{1246-the antique university town of bouquin - moisi}]_{1245-a rich old hypochondriac at the antique university town of bouquin - moisi} , and upon [his]_{234-dr. pillule} prescribing change of air and travel as remedies , [he]_{234-dr. pillule} was retained to accompany [the timid patient]_{1247-the timid patient} on a tour of some weeks ; it but remained , therefore , for [the new doctor]_{1212-the new doctor} to continue [his]_{4288-the doctor} attendance at [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} . [I]_0-i often saw [him]_{4288-the doctor} when [he]_{4288-the doctor} came ; for [Madame]_190-madame would not trust [the little invalid]_{1249-the little invalid} to [Trinette]_232-trinette , but required [me]_0-i to spend much of [my]_0-i time in [the nursery]_{4802-the nursery} . [I]_0-i think [he]_{4288-the doctor} was skilful . [Fifine]_211-fifine recovered rapidly under [his]_{4288-the doctor} care , yet even [her]_211-fifine convalescence did not hasten [his]_{4288-the doctor} dismissal . [Destiny]_235-destiny and [Madame Beck]_190-madame seemed in league , and both had ruled that [he]_{4288-the doctor} should make deliberate acquaintance with [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} , [the private staircase and upper chambers of [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette}]_{1252-the private staircase and upper chambers of the rue fossette} . No sooner did [Fifine]_211-fifine emerge from [his]_{4288-the doctor} hands than [Desiree]_208-desiree declared [herself]_208-desiree ill . [That possessed child]_{1254-that possessed child} had a genius for simulation , and captivated by the attentions and indulgences of [a sick - room]_{1255-a sick - room} , [she]_208-desiree came to the conclusion that an illness would perfectly accommodate [her]_208-desiree tastes , and took [her]_208-desiree bed accordingly . [She]_208-desiree acted well , and [[her]_208-desiree mother]_{550-her mother} still better ; for while the whole case was transparent to [Madame Beck]_190-madame as the day , [she]_{550-her mother} treated [it]_1257-it with an astonishingly well - assured air of gravity and good faith . What surprised [me]_0-i was , that [Dr. John]_135-graham so [the young Englishman]_{1258-the young englishman} had taught [Fifine]_211-fifine to call [him]_{4288-the doctor} , and [we]_1259-we all took from [her]_190-madame the habit of addressing [him]_{4288-the doctor} by this name , till it became an established custom , and [he]_{4288-the doctor} was known by no other in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} - that [Dr. John]_135-graham consented tacitly to adopt [Madame]_190-madame 's tactics , and to fall in with [her]_190-madame manoeuvres . [He]_{4288-the doctor} betrayed , indeed , a period of comic doubt , cast one or two rapid glances from [the child]_{4206-the child} to [the mother]_{881-the mother} , indulged in an interval of self- consultation , but finally resigned [himself]_{4288-the doctor} with a good grace to play [his]_{4288-the doctor} part in the farce . [Desiree]_208-desiree eat like a raven , gambolled day and night in [her]_208-desiree bed , pitched tents with the sheets and blankets , lounged like [a Turk amidst pillows and bolsters]_{1262-a turk amidst pillows and bolsters} , diverted [herself]_208-desiree with throwing [her]_208-desiree shoes at [her]_208-desiree bonne and grimacing at [[her]_208-desiree sisters]_{1263-her sisters} - over- flowed , in short , with unmerited health and evil spirits ; only languishing when [[her]_208-desiree mamma]_{4207-her mamma} and [the physician]_{1265-the physician} paid [their]_1266-their diurnal visit . [Madame Beck]_190-madame , [I]_0-i knew , was glad , at any price , to have [[her]_190-madame daughter]_{793-her daughter} in bed out of the way of mischief ; but [I]_0-i wondered that [Dr. John]_135-graham did not tire of the business . Every day , on this mere pretext of a motive , [he]_135-graham gave punctual attendance ; [Madame]_190-madame always received [him]_135-graham with the same empressement , the same sunshine for [himself]_135-graham , the same admirably counterfeited air of concern for [[her]_190-madame child]_{552-her child} . [Dr. John]_135-graham wrote harmless prescriptions for [the patient]_{1269-the patient} , and viewed [[her]_{1269-the patient} mother]_{550-her mother} with a shrewdly sparkling eye . [Madame]_190-madame caught [his]_135-graham rallying looks without resenting them - [she]_190-madame had too much good sense for that . Supple as [the young doctor]_{1271-the young doctor} seemed , one could not despise [him]_135-graham - this pliant part was evidently not adopted in the design to curry favour with [[his]_135-graham employer]_{1272-his employer} : while [he]_135-graham liked [[his]_135-graham office at [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat}]_{1273-his office at the pensionnat} , and lingered strangely about [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} , [he]_135-graham was independent , almost careless in [his]_135-graham carriage [there]_512-there ; and yet , too , [he]_135-graham was often thoughtful and preoccupied . It was not perhaps [my]_0-i business to observe the mystery of [his]_135-graham bearing , or search out its origin or aim ; but , placed as [I]_0-i was , [I]_0-i could hardly help it . [He]_135-graham laid [himself]_135-graham open to [my]_0-i observation , according to [my]_0-i presence in [the room]_{600-the room} just that degree of notice and consequence [a person of [my]_0-i exterior]_{1277-a person of my exterior} habitually expects : that is to say , about what is given to unobtrusive articles of furniture , chairs of [ordinary joiner]_{1278-ordinary joiner} 's work , and carpets of no striking pattern . Often , while waiting for [Madame]_190-madame , [he]_135-graham would muse , smile , watch , or listen like [a man who thinks [himself]_135-graham alone]_{1279-a man who thinks himself alone} . [I]_0-i , meantime , was free to puzzle over [his]_135-graham countenance and movements , and wonder what could be the meaning of that peculiar interest and attachment - all mixed up with doubt and strangeness , and inexplicably ruled by some presiding spell - which wedded [him]_135-graham to [this demi - convent]_{1280-this demi - convent} , secluded in [the built - up core of [a capital]_{1282-a capital}]_{1281-the built - up core of a capital} . [He]_135-graham , [I]_0-i believe , never remembered that [I]_0-i had eyes in [my]_0-i head , much less a brain behind them . Nor would [he]_135-graham ever have found this out , but that one day , while [he]_135-graham sat in the sunshine and [I]_0-i was observing the colouring of [his]_135-graham hair , whiskers , and complexion - the whole being of such a tone as a strong light brings out with somewhat perilous force indeed [I]_0-i recollect [I]_0-i was driven to compare [his]_135-graham beamy head in [my]_0-i thoughts to that of the " golden image "_{[236-nebuchadnezzar]} which [Nebuchadnezzar]_{236-nebuchadnezzar} [the king]_{1283-the king} had set up , an idea new , sudden , and startling , riveted [my]_0-i attention with an over - mastering strength and power of attraction . [I]_0-i know not to this day how [I]_0-i looked at [him]_135-graham : the force of surprise , and also of conviction , made [me]_0-i forget [myself]_0-i ; and [I]_0-i only recovered wonted consciousness when [I]_0-i saw that [his]_135-graham notice was arrested , and that it had caught [my]_0-i movement in a clear little oval mirror fixed in the side of the window recess - by the aid of which reflector [Madame]_190-madame often secretly spied [persons]_1284-persons walking in [the garden below]_{1285-the garden below} . Though of so gay and sanguine a temperament , [he]_135-graham was not without a certain nervous sensitiveness which made [him]_135-graham ill at ease under a direct , inquiring gaze . On surprising [me]_0-i thus , [he]_135-graham turned and said , in a tone which , though courteous , had just so much dryness in it as to mark a shade of annoyance , as well as to give to what was said the character of rebuke , " [Mademoiselle]_{216-mademoiselle} does not spare [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i am not vain enough to fancy that it is [my]_0-i merits which attract [her]_{216-mademoiselle} attention ; it must then be some defect . Dare [I]_0-i ask - what ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was confounded , as [the reader]_{759-the reader} may suppose , yet not with an irrecoverable confusion ; being conscious that it was from no emotion of incautious admiration , nor yet in a spirit of unjustifiable inquisitiveness , that [I]_0-i had incurred this reproof . [I]_0-i might have cleared [myself]_0-i on the spot , but would not . [I]_0-i did not speak . [I]_0-i was not in the habit of speaking to [him]_135-graham . Suffering [him]_135-graham , then , to think what [he]_135-graham chose and accuse [me]_0-i of what [he]_135-graham would , [I]_0-i resumed some work [I]_0-i had dropped , and kept [my]_0-i head bent over it during the remainder of [his]_135-graham stay . There is a perverse mood of the mind which is rather soothed than irritated by misconstruction ; and in quarters where [we]_1287-we can never be rightly known , [we]_1287-we take pleasure , [I]_0-i think , in being consummately ignored . What [honest man]_{1288-honest man} , on being casually taken for [a housebreaker]_{1289-a housebreaker} , does not feel rather tickled than vexed at the mistake ? CHAPTER XI . [THE PORTRESS]_{237-the portress} 'S [CABINET]_238-cabinet . It was summer and very hot . [Georgette]_{239-georgette} , [the youngest of [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's children]_{1291-madame beck 's children}]_{1290-the youngest of madame beck 's children} , took a fever . [Desiree]_208-desiree , suddenly cured of [her]_208-desiree ailments , was , together with [Fifine]_211-fifine , packed off to [Bonne - Maman]_{50-bonne - maman} , in [the country]_{571-the country} , by way of precaution against infection . Medical aid was now really needed , and [Madame]_190-madame , choosing to ignore the return of [Dr. Pillule]_{234-dr. pillule} , who had been at [home]_542-home a week , conjured [[his]_{234-dr. pillule} English rival]_{1294-his english rival} to continue [his]_{234-dr. pillule} visits . [One or two of [the pensionnaires]_{1296-the pensionnaires}]_{1295-one or two of the pensionnaires} complained of headache , and in other respects seemed slightly to participate in [Georgette]_{239-georgette} 's ailment . " Now , at last , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought , " [Dr. Pillule]_{234-dr. pillule} must be recalled : [the prudent directress]_{4975-the prudent directress} will never venture to permit the attendance of [so young a man on [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils}]_{4976-so young a man on the pupils} . "_[0-i] [The directress]_{4887-the directress} was very prudent , but [she]_{4887-the directress} could also be intrepidly venturous . [She]_{4887-the directress} actually introduced [Dr. John]_135-graham to [the school - division of [the premises]_{1020-the premises}]_{1298-the school - division of the premises} , and established [him]_135-graham in attendance on the proud and handsome [Blanche de Melcy]_213-blanche , and the vain , flirting [Angelique]_{215-angelique} , [[her]_{4887-the directress} friend]_{4927-her friend} . [Dr. John]_135-graham , [I]_0-i thought , testified a certain gratification at this mark of confidence ; and if discretion of bearing could have justified the step , it would by [him]_135-graham have been amply justified . Here , however , in [this land of [convents]_{1302-convents} and [confessionals]_{1303-confessionals}]_{1301-this land of convents and confessionals} , such a presence as [his]_135-graham was not to be suffered with impunity in a " [pensionnat de demoiselles]_{4978-pensionnat de demoiselles} . "_[135-graham] [The school]_{4856-the school} gossiped , [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen} whispered , [the town]_{1306-the town} caught the rumour , [parents]_1307-parents wrote letters and paid visits of remonstrance . [Madame]_190-madame , had [she]_190-madame been weak , would now have been lost : [a dozen rival educational houses]_{1308-a dozen rival educational houses} were ready to improve this false step - if false step it were - to [her]_190-madame ruin ; but [Madame]_190-madame was not weak , and little Jesuit though [she]_190-madame might be , yet [I]_0-i clapped the hands of [my]_0-i heart , and with its voice cried " brava ! "_[0-i] as [I]_0-i watched [her]_190-madame able bearing , [her]_190-madame skilled management , [her]_190-madame temper and [her]_190-madame firmness on this occasion . [She]_190-madame met [the alarmed parents]_{1309-the alarmed parents} with a good - humoured , easy grace for [nobody]_4256-nobody matched [her]_190-madame in , [I]_0-i know not whether to say the possession or the assumption of a certain " rondeur et franchise de bonne femme ; "_[190-madame] which on various occasions gained the point aimed at with instant and complete success , where severe gravity and serious reasoning would probably have failed . " Ce pauvre Docteur [Jean]_{240-jean baptiste} ! "_[190-madame] [she]_190-madame would say , chuckling and rubbing joyously [her]_190-madame fat little white hands ; " ce cher jeune homme ! [le meilleur creature du monde]_{4979-le meilleur creature du monde} ! "_[190-madame] and go on to explain how [she]_190-madame happened to be employing [him]_1311-him for [[her]_190-madame own children]_{1108-her own children} , who were so fond of [him]_1311-him [they]_{1108-her own children} would scream [themselves]_{1108-her own children} into fits at the thought of [another doctor]_{1313-another doctor} ; how , where [she]_190-madame had confidence for [her]_190-madame own , [she]_190-madame thought it natural to repose trust for [others]_770-others , and au reste , it was only the most temporary expedient in [the world]_{811-the world} ; [Blanche]_213-blanche and [Angelique]_{215-angelique} had the migraine ; [Dr. John]_135-graham had written a prescription ; voila tout ! [The parents]_{1316-the parents} ' mouths were closed . [Blanche]_213-blanche and [Angelique]_{215-angelique} saved [her]_190-madame all remaining trouble by chanting loud duets in [[their]_{1316-the parents} physician]_{1317-their physician} 's praise ; [the other pupils]_{1318-the other pupils} echoed [them]_{1316-the parents} , unanimously declaring that when [they]_{1318-the other pupils} were ill [they]_{1318-the other pupils} would have [Dr. John]_135-graham and [nobody else]_{1319-nobody else} ; and [Madame]_190-madame laughed , and [the parents]_{1316-the parents} laughed too . [The Labassecouriens]_{1321-the labassecouriens} must have a large organ of philoprogenitiveness : at least the indulgence of [offspring]_{1322-offspring} is carried by [them]_{1321-the labassecouriens} to excessive lengths ; the law of most households being [the children]_{1111-the children} 's will . [Madame]_190-madame now got credit for having acted on this occasion in a spirit of motherly partiality : [she]_190-madame came off with flying colours ; [people]_531-people liked [her]_190-madame as [a directress]_{1325-a directress} better than ever . To this day [I]_0-i never fully understood why [she]_190-madame thus risked [her]_190-madame interest for the sake of [Dr. John]_135-graham . What [people]_531-people said , of course [I]_0-i know well : [the whole house]_{1327-the whole house} - [pupils]_4924-pupils , [teachers]_{1087-teachers} , [servants]_{1062-servants} included - affirmed that [she]_190-madame was going to marry [him]_135-graham . So [they]_{1327-the whole house} had settled it ; difference of age seemed to make no obstacle in [their]_{1327-the whole house} eyes : it was to be so . It must be admitted that appearances did not wholly discountenance this idea ; [Madame]_190-madame seemed so bent on retaining [his]_135-graham services , so oblivious of [[her]_190-madame former protege]_{1331-her former protege} , [Pillule]_{234-dr. pillule} . [She]_190-madame made , too , such a point of personally receiving [his]_135-graham visits , and was so unfailingly cheerful , blithe , and benignant in [her]_190-madame manner to [him]_135-graham . Moreover , [she]_190-madame paid , about this time , marked attention to dress : the morning dishabille , the nightcap and shawl , were discarded ; [Dr. John]_135-graham 's early visits always found [her]_190-madame with auburn braids all nicely arranged , silk dress trimly fitted on , neat laced brodequins in lieu of slippers : in short the whole toilette complete as a model , and fresh as a flower . [I]_0-i scarcely think , however , that [her]_190-madame intention in this went further than just to show [a very handsome man]_{1332-a very handsome man} that [she]_190-madame was not quite [a plain woman]_{1333-a plain woman} ; and plain [she]_190-madame was not . Without beauty of feature or elegance of form , [she]_190-madame pleased . Without youth and its gay graces , [she]_190-madame cheered . [One]_607-one never tired of seeing [her]_190-madame : [she]_190-madame was never monotonous , or insipid , or colourless , or flat . [Her]_190-madame unfaded hair , [her]_190-madame eye with its temperate blue light , [her]_190-madame cheek with its wholesome fruit - like bloom - these things pleased in moderation , but with constancy . Had [she]_190-madame , indeed , floating visions of adopting [Dr. John]_135-graham as [a husband]_{1335-a husband} , taking [him]_135-graham to [[her]_190-madame well - furnished home]_{1336-her well - furnished home} , endowing [him]_135-graham with [her]_190-madame savings , which were said to amount to a moderate competency , and making [him]_135-graham comfortable for the rest of [his]_135-graham life ? Did [Dr. John]_135-graham suspect [her]_190-madame of such visions ? [I]_0-i have met [him]_135-graham coming out of [her]_190-madame presence with a mischievous half - smile about [his]_135-graham lips , and in [his]_135-graham eyes a look as of masculine vanity elate and tickled . With all [his]_135-graham good looks and good - nature , [he]_135-graham was not perfect ; [he]_135-graham must have been very imperfect if [he]_135-graham roguishly encouraged aims [he]_135-graham never intended to be successful . But did [he]_135-graham not intend [them]_1337-them to be successful ? [People]_531-people said [he]_135-graham had no money , that [he]_135-graham was wholly dependent upon [his]_135-graham profession . [Madame]_190-madame - though perhaps some fourteen years [his]_135-graham senior - was yet [the sort of woman never to grow old , never to wither , never to break down]_{1339-the sort of woman never to grow old , never to wither , never to break down} . [They]_1340-they certainly were on good terms . [He]_135-graham perhaps was not in love ; but how many [people]_531-people ever do love , or at least marry for love , in [this world]_{4390-this world} . [We]_1343-we waited the end . For what [he]_135-graham waited , [I]_0-i do not know , nor for what [he]_135-graham watched ; but the peculiarity of [his]_135-graham manner , [his]_135-graham expectant , vigilant , absorbed , eager look , never wore off : it rather intensified . [He]_135-graham had never been quite within the compass of [my]_0-i penetration , and [I]_0-i think [he]_135-graham ranged farther and farther beyond it . One morning [little Georgette]_{239-georgette} had been more feverish and consequently more peevish ; [she]_{239-georgette} was crying , and would not be pacified . [I]_0-i thought a particular draught ordered , disagreed with [her]_{239-georgette} , and [I]_0-i doubted whether it ought to be continued ; [I]_0-i waited impatiently for [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} 's coming in order to consult [him]_135-graham . The door - bell rang , [he]_135-graham was admitted ; [I]_0-i felt sure of this , for [I]_0-i heard [his]_135-graham voice addressing [the portress]_{1079-the portress} . It was [his]_135-graham custom to mount straight to [the nursery]_{4802-the nursery} , taking about three degrees of the staircase at once , and coming upon [us]_1347-us like a cheerful surprise . Five minutes elapsed - ten - and [I]_0-i saw and heard nothing of [him]_135-graham . What could [he]_135-graham be doing ? Possibly waiting in [the corridor below]_{1348-the corridor below} . [Little Georgette]_{239-georgette} still piped [her]_{239-georgette} plaintive wail , appealing to [me]_0-i by [her]_{239-georgette} familiar term , " [Minnie]_{204-modeste maria beck} , [Minnie]_{204-modeste maria beck} , [me]_{239-georgette} very poorly ! "_{[239-georgette]} till [my]_0-i heart ached . [I]_0-i descended to ascertain why [he]_135-graham did not come . [The corridor]_{1349-the corridor} was empty . Whither was [he]_135-graham vanished ? Was [he]_135-graham with [Madame]_190-madame in [the salle - a - manger]_{1350-the salle - a - manger} ? Impossible : [I]_0-i had left [her]_190-madame but a short time since , dressing in [[her]_190-madame own chamber]_{1029-her own chamber} . [I]_0-i listened . [Three pupils]_{1352-three pupils} were just then hard at work practising in [three proximate rooms]_{1353-three proximate rooms} - [the dining - room]_{4338-the dining - room} and [the greater and lesser drawing- rooms]_{1355-the greater and lesser drawing- rooms} , between which and [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} there was but [the portress]_{1079-the portress} 's cabinet communicating with [the salons]_{1358-the salons} , and intended originally for a boudoir . Farther off , at a fourth instrument in [the oratory]_{1021-the oratory} , [a whole class of a dozen or more]_{1360-a whole class of a dozen or more} were taking a singing lesson , and just then joining in a " barcarole "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [they]_{1360-a whole class of a dozen or more} called it , whereof [I]_0-i yet remember these words " fraiche , "_[0-i] " brise , "_[0-i] and " Venise . "_[0-i] Under these circumstances , what could [I]_0-i hear ? A great deal , certainly ; had it only been to the purpose . Yes ; [I]_0-i heard a giddy treble laugh in the above - mentioned little cabinet , close by the door of which [I]_0-i stood - that door half - unclosed ; [a man]_{823-a man} 's voice in a soft , deep , pleading tone , uttered some , words , whereof [I]_0-i only caught the adjuration , " For God 's sake ! "_{[823-a man]} Then , after a second 's pause , forth issued [Dr. John]_135-graham , [his]_135-graham eye full shining , but not with either joy or triumph ; [his]_135-graham fair English cheek high - coloured ; a baffled , tortured , anxious , and yet a tender meaning on [his]_135-graham brow . The open door served [me]_0-i as a screen ; but had [I]_0-i been full in [his]_135-graham way , [I]_0-i believe [he]_135-graham would have passed without seeing [me]_0-i . Some mortification , some strong vexation had hold of [his]_135-graham soul : or rather , to write [my]_0-i impressions now as [I]_0-i received them at the time [I]_0-i should say some sorrow , some sense of injustice . [I]_0-i did not so much think [his]_135-graham pride was hurt , as that [his]_135-graham affections had been wounded - cruelly wounded , it seemed to [me]_0-i . But who was [the torturer]_{1362-the torturer} ? What being in [that house]_{1363-that house} had [him]_135-graham so much in [her]_1364-her power ? [Madame]_190-madame [I]_0-i believed to be in [[her]_190-madame chamber]_{1070-her chamber} ; [the room whence [he]_135-graham had stepped]_{1366-the room whence he had stepped} was dedicated to [[the portress]_{1079-the portress} 's sole use]_{1368-the portress 's sole use} ; and [she]_190-madame , [Rosine Matou]_203-rosine , [an unprincipled though pretty little French grisette , airy , fickle , dressy , vain , and mercenary]_{1369-an unprincipled though pretty little french grisette , airy , fickle , dressy , vain , and mercenary} - it was not , surely , to [her]_190-madame hand [he]_135-graham owed the ordeal through which [he]_135-graham seemed to have passed ? But while [I]_0-i pondered , [her]_190-madame voice , clear , though somewhat sharp , broke out in a lightsome French song , trilling through the door still ajar : [I]_0-i glanced in , doubting [my]_0-i senses . There at the table [she]_190-madame sat in a smart dress of " jaconas rose , "_[190-madame] trimming a tiny blond cap : not a living thing save [herself]_190-madame was in [the room]_{600-the room} , except indeed some gold fish in a glass globe , some flowers in pots , and a broad July sunbeam . Here was a problem : but [I]_0-i must go up - [stairs]_593-stairs to ask about the medicine . [Dr. John]_135-graham sat in a chair at [Georgette]_{239-georgette} 's bedside ; [Madame]_190-madame stood before [him]_135-graham ; [the little patient]_{1372-the little patient} had been examined and soothed , and now lay composed in [[her]_{1372-the little patient} crib]_{1373-her crib} . [Madame Beck]_190-madame , as [I]_0-i entered , was discussing [the physician]_{1265-the physician} 's own health , remarking on some real or fancied change in [his]_{1265-the physician} looks , charging [him]_{1265-the physician} with over - work , and recommending rest and change of air . [He]_{1265-the physician} listened good - naturedly , but with laughing indifference , telling [her]_190-madame that [she]_190-madame was " trop bonne , "_[190-madame] and that [he]_{1265-the physician} felt perfectly well . [Madame]_190-madame appealed to [me]_0-i - [Dr. John]_135-graham following [her]_190-madame movement with a slow glance which seemed to express languid surprise at reference being made to a quarter so insignificant . " What do [you]_0-i think , [Miss Lucie]_{241-miss lucie} ? "_[190-madame] asked [Madame]_190-madame . " Is [he]_{1265-the physician} not paler and thinner ? "_[190-madame] It was very seldom that [I]_0-i uttered more than monosyllables in [Dr. John]_135-graham 's presence ; [he]_{1265-the physician} was [the kind of person with whom [I]_0-i was likely ever to remain the neutral , passive thing [he]_{1265-the physician} thought [me]_0-i]_{1375-the kind of person with whom i was likely ever to remain the neutral , passive thing he thought me} . Now , however , [I]_0-i took licence to answer in a phrase : and a phrase [I]_0-i purposely made quite significant . " [He]_{1265-the physician} looks ill at this moment ; but perhaps it is owing to some temporary cause : [Dr. John]_135-graham may have been vexed or harassed . "_{[1265-the physician]} [I]_0-i can not tell how [he]_{1265-the physician} took this speech , as [I]_0-i never sought [his]_{1265-the physician} face for information . [Georgette]_{239-georgette} here began to ask [me]_0-i in [her]_{239-georgette} broken English if [she]_{239-georgette} might have a glass of eau sucree . [I]_0-i answered [her]_{239-georgette} in English . For the first time , [I]_0-i fancy , [he]_{1265-the physician} noticed that [I]_0-i spoke [his]_{1265-the physician} language ; hitherto [he]_{1265-the physician} had always taken [me]_0-i for [a foreigner]_{891-a foreigner} , addressing [me]_0-i as " [Mademoiselle]_{216-mademoiselle} , "_{[1265-the physician]} and giving in French the requisite directions about [the children]_{1111-the children} 's treatment . [He]_{1265-the physician} seemed on the point of making a remark ; but thinking better of it , held [his]_{1265-the physician} tongue . [Madame]_190-madame recommenced advising [him]_{1265-the physician} ; [he]_{1265-the physician} shook [his]_{1265-the physician} head , laughing , rose and bid [her]_190-madame good - morning , with courtesy , but still with the regardless air of one whom too much unsolicited attention was surfeiting and spoiling . When [he]_{1265-the physician} was gone , [Madame]_190-madame dropped into the chair [he]_{1265-the physician} had just left ; [she]_190-madame rested [her]_190-madame chin in [her]_190-madame hand ; all that was animated and amiable vanished from [her]_190-madame face : [she]_190-madame looked stony and stern , almost mortified and morose . [She]_190-madame sighed ; a single , but a deep sigh . A loud bell rang for morning - school . [She]_190-madame got up ; as [she]_190-madame passed a dressing - table with a glass upon it , [she]_190-madame looked at [her]_190-madame reflected image . One single white hair streaked [her]_190-madame nut - brown tresses ; [she]_190-madame plucked it out with a shudder . In the full summer daylight , [her]_190-madame face , though it still had the colour , could plainly be seen to have lost the texture of youth ; and then , where were [youth]_1378-youth 's contours ? Ah , [Madame]_190-madame ! wise as [you]_1379-you were , even [you]_1379-you knew weakness . Never had [I]_0-i pitied [Madame]_190-madame before , but [my]_0-i heart softened towards [her]_190-madame , when [she]_190-madame turned darkly from the glass . A calamity had come upon [her]_190-madame . [That hag Disappointment]_{242-disappointment} was greeting [her]_190-madame with a grisly " All - hail , "_{[242-disappointment]} and [her]_190-madame soul rejected the intimacy . But [Rosine]_203-rosine ! [My]_0-i bewilderment there surpasses description . [I]_0-i embraced five opportunities of passing [her]_190-madame cabinet that day , with a view to contemplating [her]_190-madame charms , and finding out the secret of [their]_1380-their influence . [She]_190-madame was pretty , young , and wore a well - made dress . All very good points , and , [I]_0-i suppose , amply sufficient to account , in any philosophic mind , for any amount of agony and distraction in [a young man]_{4521-a young man} , like [Dr. John]_135-graham . Still , [I]_0-i could not help forming half a wish that [the said doctor]_{1382-the said doctor} were [[my]_0-i brother]_{1383-my brother} ; or at least that [he]_{1382-the said doctor} had [a sister]_{1384-a sister} or [a mother]_{4301-a mother} who would kindly sermonize [him]_{1382-the said doctor} . [I]_0-i say half a wish ; [I]_0-i broke it , and flung it away before it became a whole one , discovering in good time its exquisite folly . " [Somebody]_{4307-somebody} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i argued , " might as well sermonize [Madame]_190-madame about [[her]_190-madame young physician]_{4981-her young physician} : and what good would that do ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe [Madame]_190-madame sermonized [herself]_190-madame . [She]_190-madame did not behave weakly , or make [herself]_190-madame in any shape ridiculous . It is true [she]_190-madame had neither strong feelings to overcome , nor tender feelings by which to be miserably pained . It is true likewise that [she]_190-madame had an important avocation , a real business to fill [her]_190-madame time , divert [her]_190-madame thoughts , and divide [her]_190-madame interest . It is especially true that [she]_190-madame possessed a genuine good sense which is not given to [all women]_{1386-all women} nor to [all men]_{1387-all men} ; and by dint of these combined advantages [she]_190-madame behaved wisely - [she]_190-madame behaved well . [Brava]_243-brava ! once more , [Madame Beck]_190-madame . [I]_0-i saw [you]_190-madame matched against [an Apollyon of a predilection]_{1388-an apollyon of a predilection} ; [you]_190-madame fought a good fight , and [you]_190-madame overcame ! CHAPTER XII . [THE CASKET]_{1389-the casket} . Behind [the house]_{518-the house} at [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} there was [a garden]_{1391-a garden} - large , considering that [it]_{1391-a garden} lay in [the heart of [a city]_{1393-a city}]_{1392-the heart of a city} , and to [my]_0-i recollection at this day it seems pleasant : but time , like distance , lends to certain scenes an influence so softening ; and where all is stone around , blank wall and hot pavement , how precious seems one shrub , how lovely [an enclosed and planted spot of ground]_{1394-an enclosed and planted spot of ground} ! There went a tradition that [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's house]_{4886-madame beck 's house} had in old days been [a convent]_{1396-a convent} . That in years gone by - how long gone by [I]_0-i can not tell , but [I]_0-i think some centuries - before [the city]_{4429-the city} had over - spread [this quarter]_{1398-this quarter} , and when [it]_1399-it was tilled ground and [avenue]_1400-avenue , and such deep and leafy seclusion as ought to embosom [a religious house]_{1401-a religious house} - that something had happened on [this site]_{1402-this site} which , rousing fear and inflicting horror , had left to the place the inheritance of a ghost - story . A vague tale went of [a black and white nun]_{1403-a black and white nun} , sometimes , on some night or nights of the year , seen in [some part of [this vicinage]_{1405-this vicinage}]_{1404-some part of this vicinage} . The ghost must have been built out some ages ago , for there were houses all round now ; but [certain convent]_{1406-certain convent} - relics , in the shape of old and huge fruit - trees , yet consecrated the spot ; and , at the foot of one - a Methuselah of a pear- tree , dead , all but a few boughs which still faithfully renewed [their]_1407-their perfumed snow in spring , and [their]_1407-their honey - sweet pendants in autumn - [you]_1408-you saw , in scraping away the mossy earth between the half - bared roots , a glimpse of slab , smooth , hard , and black . The legend went , unconfirmed and unaccredited , but still propagated , that this was the portal of [a vault]_{1409-a vault} , imprisoning deep beneath that ground , on whose surface grass grew and flowers bloomed , the bones of [a girl whom [a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages]_{1411-a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages} had here buried alive for some sin against [her]_{1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow} vow]_{1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow} . [Her]_{1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow} shadow it was that [tremblers]_{1412-tremblers} had feared , through long generations after [her]_{1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow} poor frame was dust ; [her]_{1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow} black robe and white veil that , for timid eyes , moonlight and shade had mocked , as they fluctuated in the night - wind through the garden - thicket . Independently of romantic rubbish , however , [that old garden]_{1413-that old garden} had its charms . On summer mornings [I]_0-i used to rise early , to enjoy them alone ; on summer evenings , to linger solitary , to keep tryste with the rising moon , or taste one kiss of the evening breeze , or fancy rather than feel the freshness of dew descending . The turf was verdant , the gravelled walks were white ; sun - bright nasturtiums clustered beautiful about the roots of the doddered orchard giants . There was [a large berceau , above which spread the shade of an acacia]_{1414-a large berceau , above which spread the shade of an acacia} ; there was a smaller , more sequestered bower , nestled in the vines which ran all along a high and grey wall , and gathered their tendrils in a knot of beauty , and hung their clusters in loving profusion about the favoured spot where jasmine and ivy met and married [them]_1415-them . Doubtless at high noon , in the broad , vulgar middle of the day , when [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's large school]_{1416-madame beck 's large school} turned out rampant , and [externes]_{1417-externes} and [pensionnaires]_{1418-pensionnaires} were spread abroad , vying with [the denizens of [[the boys]_{705-the boys} ' college]_{1421-the boys ' college}]_{1419-the denizens of the boys ' college} close at hand , in the brazen exercise of [their]_{1419-the denizens of the boys ' college} lungs and limbs - doubtless then [the garden]_{1165-the garden} was a trite , trodden - down place enough . But at sunset or the hour of salut , when [the externes]_{1095-the externes} were gone [home]_542-home , and [the boarders]_{1097-the boarders} quiet at [their]_{1097-the boarders} studies ; pleasant was it then to stray down [the peaceful alleys]_{1426-the peaceful alleys} , and hear the bells of [St. Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste} peal out with [their]_1427-their sweet , soft , exalted sound . [I]_0-i was walking thus one evening , and had been detained farther within the verge of twilight than usual , by the still - deepening calm , the mellow coolness , the fragrant breathing with which flowers no sunshine could win now answered the persuasion of the dew . [I]_0-i saw by a light in the oratory window that [the Catholic household]_{1428-the catholic household} were then gathered to evening prayer - a rite , from attendance on which , [I]_0-i now and then , as [a Protestant]_{928-a protestant} , exempted [myself]_0-i . " One moment longer , "_{[928-a protestant]} whispered solitude and the summer moon , ' stay with [us]_1430-us : all is truly quiet now ; for another quarter of an hour [your]_1431-your presence will not be missed : the day 's heat and bustle have tired [you]_1431-your ; enjoy these precious minutes . " The windowless backs of [houses built in [this garden]_{4983-this garden}]_{4982-houses built in this garden} , and in particular the whole of one side , was skirted by the rear of a long line of [premises]_{4984-premises} - being [the boarding - houses of [the neighbouring college]_{4986-the neighbouring college}]_{4985-the boarding - houses of the neighbouring college} . [This rear]_{4987-this rear} , however , was all blank stone , with the exception of certain attic loopholes high up , opening from [the sleeping - rooms of [the women- servants]_{4989-the women- servants}]_{4988-the sleeping - rooms of the women- servants} , and also one casement in a lower story said to mark [the chamber or study of [a master]_{4991-a master}]_{4990-the chamber or study of a master} . But , though thus secure , [an alley , which ran parallel with the very high wall on that side [the garden]_{1165-the garden}]_{4992-an alley , which ran parallel with the very high wall on that side the garden} , was forbidden to be entered by [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} . It was called indeed "_[1432-i] l'allee defendue , " and [any girl setting foot there]_{4995-any girl setting foot there} would have rendered [herself]_{4995-any girl setting foot there} liable to as severe a penalty as the mild rules of [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's establishment]_{4996-madame beck 's establishment} permitted . [Teachers]_{1087-teachers} might indeed go [there]_512-there with impunity ; but as the walk was narrow , and the neglected shrubs were grown very thick and close on each side , weaving overhead a roof of branch and leaf which the sun 's rays penetrated but in rare chequers , [this alley]_{4999-this alley} was seldom entered even during day , and after dusk was carefully shunned . From the first [I]_1432-i was tempted to make an exception to this rule of avoidance : the seclusion , the very gloom of the walk attracted [me]_1432-i . For a long time the fear of seeming singular scared [me]_1432-i away ; but by degrees , as [people]_531-people became accustomed to [me]_1432-i and [my]_1432-i habits , and to such shades of peculiarity as were engrained in [my]_1432-i nature - shades , certainly not striking enough to interest , and perhaps not prominent enough to offend , but born in and with [me]_1432-i , and no more to be parted with than [my]_1432-i identity - by slow degrees [I]_1432-i became a frequenter of this strait and narrow path . [I]_1432-i made [myself]_1432-i gardener of some tintless flowers that grew between its closely - ranked shrubs ; [I]_1432-i cleared away the relics of past autumns , choking up a rustic seat at the far end . Borrowing of [Goton]_276-goton , the cuisiniere , a pail of water and a scrubbing- brush , [I]_1432-i made this seat clean . [Madame]_190-madame saw [me]_1432-i at work and smiled approbation : whether sincerely or not [I]_1432-i do n't know ; but [she]_190-madame seemed sincere . "_[1432-i] Voyez - vous , " cried [she]_190-madame , "_[1432-i] comme elle est propre , cette demoiselle Lucie ? Vous aimez done cette allee , [Meess]_1432-i ? " "_[1432-i] Yes , " [I]_1432-i said , "_[1432-i] it is quiet and shady . " "_[1432-i] C'est juste , " cried [she]_190-madame with an air of bonte ; and [she]_190-madame kindly recommended [me]_1432-i to confine [myself]_1432-i to it as much as [I]_1432-i chose , saying , that as [I]_1432-i was not charged with the surveillance , [I]_1432-i need not trouble [myself]_1432-i to walk with [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} : only [I]_1432-i might permit [[her]_190-madame children]_{5002-her children} to come [there]_512-there , to talk English with [me]_1432-i . On the night in question , [I]_1432-i was sitting on the hidden seat reclaimed from fungi and mould , listening to what seemed the far - off sounds of [the city]_{4429-the city} . Far off , in truth , they were not : [this school]_{4877-this school} was in [[the city]_{4429-the city} 's centre]_{5007-the city 's centre} ; hence , it was but five minutes ' walk to [the park]_{987-the park} , scarce ten to [buildings of palatial splendour]_{5009-buildings of palatial splendour} . Quite near were [wide streets]_{5010-wide streets} brightly lit , teeming at this moment with life : [carriages]_{5011-carriages} were rolling through [them]_{5010-wide streets} to balls or to the opera . The same hour which tolled curfew for [[our]_5012-our convent]_{5013-our convent} , which extinguished each lamp , and dropped the curtain round each couch , rang for [the gay city]_{5014-the gay city} about [us]_5012-our the summons to festal enjoyment . Of this contrast [I]_1432-i thought not , however : gay instincts [my]_1432-i nature had few ; ball or opera [I]_1432-i had never seen ; and though often [I]_1432-i had heard [them]_5015-them described , and even wished to see [them]_5015-them , it was not the wish of one who hopes to partake a pleasure if [she]_5016-she could only reach it - [who feels fitted to shine in some bright distant sphere]_{5017-who feels fitted to shine in some bright distant sphere} , could [she]_5016-she but thither win [her]_5016-she way ; it was no yearning to attain , no hunger to taste ; only the calm desire to look on a new thing . A moon was in the sky , not a full moon , but a young crescent . [I]_1432-i saw [her]_5016-she through a space in the boughs overhead . [She]_5016-she and the stars , visible beside [her]_5016-she , were [no strangers]_{5018-no strangers} where all else was strange : [my]_1432-i childhood knew [them]_5015-them . [I]_1432-i had seen that golden sign with the dark globe in its curve leaning back on azure , beside an old thorn at the top of an old field , in [Old England]_{53-old england} , in long past days , just as [it]_5019-it now leaned back beside [a stately spire in [this continental capital]_{5021-this continental capital}]_{5020-a stately spire in this continental capital} . Oh , [my]_1432-i childhood ! [I]_1432-i had feelings : passive as [I]_1432-i lived , little as [I]_1432-i spoke , cold as [I]_1432-i looked , when [I]_1432-i thought of past days , [I]_1432-i could feel . About the present , it was better to be stoical ; about the future - such a future as [mine]_1432-i - to be dead . And in catalepsy and a dead trance , [I]_1432-i studiously held the quick of [my]_1432-i nature . At that time , [I]_1432-i well remember whatever could excite - certain accidents of the weather , for instance , were almost dreaded by [me]_1432-i , because they woke the being [I]_1432-i was always lulling , and stirred up a craving cry [I]_1432-i could not satisfy . One night a thunder - storm broke ; a sort of hurricane shook [us]_5022-us in [our]_5022-us beds : [the Catholics]_{5023-the catholics} rose in panic and prayed to [[their]_{5023-the catholics} saints]_{5024-their saints} . As for [me]_1432-i , the tempest took hold of [me]_1432-i with tyranny : [I]_1432-i was roughly roused and obliged to live . [I]_1432-i got up and dressed [myself]_1432-i , and creeping outside the casement close by [my]_1432-i bed , sat on [its]_5025-its ledge , with [my]_1432-i feet on the roof of [a lower adjoining building]_{5026-a lower adjoining building} . It was wet , it was wild , it was pitch - dark . Within [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} [they]_5028-they gathered round the night - lamp in consternation , praying loud . [I]_1432-i could not go in : too resistless was the delight of staying with the wild hour , black and full of thunder , pealing out such an ode as language never delivered to [man]_618-man - too terribly glorious , the spectacle of clouds , split and pierced by white and blinding bolts . [I]_1432-i did long , achingly , then and for four and twenty hours afterwards , for something to fetch [me]_1432-i out of [my]_1432-i present existence , and lead [me]_1432-i upwards and onwards . This longing , and all of a similar kind , it was necessary to knock on the head ; which [I]_1432-i did , figuratively , after the manner of [Jael]_244-jael to [Sisera]_245-sisera , driving a nail through [their]_5028-they temples . Unlike [Sisera]_245-sisera , [they]_5028-they did not die : [they]_5028-they were but transiently stunned , and at intervals would turn on the nail with a rebellious wrench : then did the temples bleed , and the brain thrill to its core . To - night , [I]_1432-i was not so mutinous , nor so miserable . [[My]_1432-i [Sisera]_245-sisera]_{5030-my sisera} lay quiet in [the tent]_{5031-the tent} , slumbering ; and if [his]_{5030-my sisera} pain ached through [his]_{5030-my sisera} slumbers , something like [an angel]_{1143-an angel} - the ideal - knelt near , dropping balm on the soothed temples , holding before the sealed eyes a magic glass , [of which the sweet , solemn visions were repeated in dreams]_{5033-of which the sweet , solemn visions were repeated in dreams} , and shedding a reflex from [her]_{5030-my sisera} moonlight wings and robe over [the transfixed sleeper]_{5034-the transfixed sleeper} , over [the tent]_{5031-the tent} threshold , over all the landscape lying without . [Jael]_244-jael , [the stern woman]_{5036-the stern woman} ; sat apart , relenting somewhat over [[her]_{5036-the stern woman} captive]_{5037-her captive} ; but more prone to dwell on the faithful expectation of [Heber]_246-heber coming [home]_542-home . By which words [I]_1432-i mean that the cool peace and dewy sweetness of the night filled [me]_1432-i with a mood of hope : not hope on any definite point , but a general sense of encouragement and heart - ease . Should not such a mood , so sweet , so tranquil , so unwonted , have been the harbinger of good ? Alas , no good came of it ! [I]_1432-i Presently the rude Real burst coarsely in - all evil grovelling and repellent as [she]_{5030-my sisera} too often is . Amid the intense stillness of that pile of stone overlooking [the walk]_{1171-the walk} , the trees , the high wall , [I]_1432-i heard a sound ; a casement all the windows here are casements , opening on hinges creaked . Ere [I]_1432-i had time to look up and mark where , in which story , or by whom unclosed , a tree overhead shook , as if struck by a missile ; some object dropped prone at [my]_1432-i feet . [Nine]_247-nine was striking by [St. Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste} 's clock ; day was fading , but it was not dark : the crescent moon aided little , but the deep gilding of that point in [heaven where the sun beamed last]_{5040-heaven where the sun beamed last} , and the crystalline clearness of a wide space above , sustained the summer twilight ; even in [my]_1432-i dark walk [I]_1432-i could , by approaching an opening , have managed to read print of a small type . Easy was it to see then that the missile was a box , a small box of white and coloured ivory ; its loose lid opened in [my]_1432-i hand ; violets lay within , violets smothering a closely folded bit of pink paper , a note , superscribed , "_[1432-i] Pour la robe grise . " [I]_1432-i wore indeed a dress of French grey . Good . Was this a billet - doux ? A thing [I]_1432-i had heard of , but hitherto had not had the honour of seeing or handling . Was it this sort of commodity [I]_1432-i held between [my]_1432-i finger and thumb at this moment ? Scarcely : [I]_1432-i did not dream it for a moment . [Suitor]_5041-suitor or admirer [my]_1432-i very thoughts had not conceived . [All the teachers]_{5042-all the teachers} had dreams of [some lover]_{5043-some lover} ; one but [she]_{5043-some lover} was naturally of a credulous turn believed in [a future husband]_{5044-a future husband} . [All the pupils above fourteen]_{5045-all the pupils above fourteen} knew of [some prospective bridegroom]_{5046-some prospective bridegroom} ; [two or three]_{5047-two or three} were already affianced by [[their]_{5047-two or three} parents]_{5048-their parents} , and had been so from childhood : but into the realm of feelings and hopes which such prospects open , [my]_1432-i speculations , far less [my]_1432-i presumptions , had never once had warrant to intrude . If [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} went into [town]_4930-town , or took a walk on [the boulevards]_{5051-the boulevards} , or only attended mass , [they]_{5049-the other teachers} were very certain according to the accounts brought back to meet with [some individual of the "_[1432-i] opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze]_{5052-some individual of the " opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze} assured [them]_{5052-some individual of the " opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze} of [their]_{5052-some individual of the " opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze} power to strike and to attract . [I]_1432-i ca n't say that [my]_1432-i experience tallied with [theirs]_{5049-the other teachers} , in this respect . [I]_1432-i went to [church]_4353-church and [I]_1432-i took walks , and am very well convinced that [nobody]_4256-nobody minded [me]_1432-i . There was [not a girl or woman in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} who could not , and did not testify to having received an admiring beam from [[our]_5056-our young doctor]_{5057-our young doctor} 's blue eyes at one time or other]_{5055-not a girl or woman in the rue fossette who could not , and did not testify to having received an admiring beam from our young doctor 's blue eyes at one time or other} . [I]_1432-i am obliged , however humbling it may sound , to except [myself]_1432-i : as far as [I]_1432-i was concerned , those blue eyes were guiltless , and calm as the sky , to whose tint theirs seemed akin . So it came to pass that [I]_1432-i heard [the others]_{5058-the others} talk , wondered often at [their]_{5058-the others} gaiety , security , and self - satisfaction , but did not trouble [myself]_1432-i to look up and gaze along the path [they]_{5058-the others} seemed so certain of treading . This then was [no billet - doux]_{5059-no billet - doux} ; and it was in settled conviction to the contrary that [I]_1432-i quietly opened it . Thus it ran - [I]_1432-i translate : - "_[1432-i] Angel of [my]_0-i dreams ! A thousand , thousand thanks for the promise kept : scarcely did [I]_0-i venture to hope its fulfilment . [I]_0-i believed [you]_1433-you , indeed , to be half in jest ; and then [you]_1433-you seemed to think the enterprise beset with such danger - the hour so untimely , [the alley so strictly secluded]_{1434-the alley so strictly secluded} - often , [you]_1433-you said , haunted by that dragon , [the English teacher]_{1435-the english teacher} - une veritable begueule Britannique a ce que vous dites - espece [de monstre , brusque et rude comme un vieux caporal de grenadiers , et reveche comme une religieuse]_{1436-de monstre , brusque et rude comme un vieux caporal de grenadiers , et reveche comme une religieuse} " [the reader]_{759-the reader} will excuse [my]_1433-you modesty in allowing this flattering sketch of [my]_1433-you amiable self to retain the slight veil of the original tongue . "_[1433-you] [You]_1433-you are aware , " went on this precious effusion , "_{[1436-de monstre , brusque et rude comme un vieux caporal de grenadiers , et reveche comme une religieuse]} that little Gustave , on account of [his]_1437-his illness , has been removed to [[a master]_{4991-a master} 's chamber]_{1439-a master 's chamber} - [that favoured chamber , whose lattice overlooks [[your]_1433-you prison - ground]_{1441-your prison - ground}]_{1440-that favoured chamber , whose lattice overlooks your prison - ground} . There , [I]_0-i , [the best uncle in [the world]_{811-the world}]_{1442-the best uncle in the world} , am admitted to visit [him]_1437-his . How tremblingly [I]_0-i approached the window and glanced into [[your]_1433-you Eden]_{1444-your eden} - an Eden for [me]_0-i , though [a desert for [you]_1433-you]_{1445-a desert for you} ! - how [I]_0-i feared to behold [vacancy]_1446-vacancy , or the dragon aforesaid ! How [my]_0-i heart palpitated with delight when , through apertures in the envious boughs , [I]_0-i at once caught the gleam of [your]_1433-you graceful straw - hat , and the waving of [your]_1433-you grey dress - dress that [I]_0-i should recognise amongst a thousand . But why , [[my]_0-i angel]_{1447-my angel} , will [you]_1433-you not look up ? Cruel , to deny [me]_0-i one ray of those adorable eyes ! - how a single glance would have revived [me]_0-i ! [I]_0-i write this in fiery haste ; while [the physician]_{1265-the physician} examines [Gustave]_248-gustave , [I]_0-i snatch an opportunity to enclose it in a small casket , together with a bouquet of flowers , the sweetest that blow - yet less sweet than [thee]_1449-thee , [my]_0-i Peri - [my]_0-i all - charming ! ever thine - [thou]_1449-thee well knowest whom ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i did know whom , " was [my]_0-i comment ; and the wish bore even closer reference to [the person addressed in this choice document]_{5061-the person addressed in this choice document} , than to [the writer thereof]_{5062-the writer thereof} . Perhaps it was from the fiance of [one of [the engaged pupils]_{5064-the engaged pupils}]_{5063-one of the engaged pupils} ; and , in that case , there was no great harm done or intended - only a small irregularity . [Several of [the girls]_{4757-the girls}]_{5065-several of the girls} , [the majority]_{5067-the majority} , indeed , had [brothers]_{5068-brothers} or [cousins]_5069-cousins at [the neighbouring college]_{4986-the neighbouring college} . But "_[0-i] la robe grise , le chapeau de paille , " here surely was a clue - a very confusing one . The straw - hat was an ordinary garden head - screen , common to [a score besides [myself]_0-i]_{5071-a score besides myself} . The grey dress hardly gave more definite indication . [Madame Beck]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame ordinarily wore a grey dress just now ; [another teacher]_{5072-another teacher} , and [three of [the pensionnaires]_{1296-the pensionnaires}]_{5073-three of the pensionnaires} , had had grey dresses purchased of the same shade and fabric as [mine]_0-i : it was a sort of every - day wear which happened at that time to be in vogue . Meanwhile , as [I]_0-i pondered , [I]_0-i knew [I]_0-i must go in . Lights , moving in [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} , announced that prayers were over , and [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} going to bed . Another half - hour and all doors would be locked - all lights extinguished . The front door yet stood open , to admit into [the heated house]_{5077-the heated house} the coolness of the summer night ; from [the portress]_{1079-the portress} 's cabinet close by shone a lamp , showing [the long vestibule with the two - leaved drawing - room doors on one side]_{5079-the long vestibule with the two - leaved drawing - room doors on one side} , the great street - door closing the vista . All at once , quick rang the bell - quick , but not loud - a cautious tinkle - a sort of warning metal whisper . [Rosine]_203-rosine darted from [her]_203-rosine cabinet and ran to open . [The person [she]_203-rosine admitted]_{5080-the person she admitted} stood with [her]_203-rosine two minutes in [parley]_5081-parley : there seemed a demur , a delay . [Rosine]_203-rosine came to the garden door , lamp in hand ; [she]_203-rosine stood on the steps , lifting [her]_203-rosine lamp , looking round vaguely . "_[0-i] Quel conte ! " [she]_203-rosine cried , with a coquettish laugh . "_[0-i] Personne n'y a ete . " "_[0-i] Let [me]_0-i pass , " pleaded a voice [I]_0-i knew : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i ask but five minutes ; " and a familiar shape , tall and grand as [we]_5082-we of [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} all thought it , issued from [the house]_{518-the house} , and strode down amongst the beds and walks . It was sacrilege - the intrusion of [a man]_{823-a man} into that spot , at that hour ; but [he]_{823-a man} knew [himself]_{823-a man} privileged , and perhaps [he]_{823-a man} trusted to the friendly night . [He]_{823-a man} wandered down [the alleys]_{4907-the alleys} , looking on this side and on that - [he]_{823-a man} was lost in the shrubs , trampling flowers and breaking branches in [his]_{823-a man} search - [he]_{823-a man} penetrated at last the "_[0-i] forbidden walk . " There [I]_135-graham met [him]_{823-a man} , like some ghost , [I]_135-graham suppose . "_[135-graham] [Dr. John]_135-graham ! it is found . " [He]_{823-a man} did not ask by whom , for with [his]_{823-a man} quick eye [he]_{823-a man} perceived that [I]_135-graham held it in [my]_135-graham hand . "_[135-graham] Do not betray [her]_1450-her , " [he]_{823-a man} said , looking at [me]_135-graham as if [I]_135-graham were indeed a dragon . "_[135-graham] Were [I]_0-i ever so disposed to treachery , [I]_0-i can not betray what [I]_0-i do not know , " was [my]_135-graham answer . "_[135-graham] Read the note , and [you]_135-graham will see how little it reveals . " "_[135-graham] Perhaps [you]_135-graham have read it , " [I]_135-graham thought to [myself]_135-graham ; and yet [I]_135-graham could not believe [he]_{823-a man} wrote it : that could hardly be [his]_{823-a man} style : besides , [I]_135-graham was fool enough to think there would be a degree of hardship in [his]_{823-a man} calling [me]_135-graham such names . [His]_{823-a man} own look vindicated [him]_{823-a man} ; [he]_{823-a man} grew hot , and coloured as [he]_{823-a man} read . "_[135-graham] This is indeed too much : this is cruel , this is humiliating , " were the words that fell from [him]_{823-a man} . [I]_135-graham thought it was cruel , when [I]_135-graham saw [his]_{823-a man} countenance so moved . No matter whether [he]_{823-a man} was to blame or not ; [somebody]_{4307-somebody} , it seemed to [me]_135-graham , must be more to blame . "_[135-graham] What shall [you]_1451-i do about it ? " [he]_{823-a man} inquired of [me]_1451-i . "_[1451-i] Shall [you]_1451-i tell [Madame Beck]_190-madame what [you]_1451-i have found , and cause a stir - an esclandre ? " [I]_1451-i thought [I]_1451-i ought to tell , and said so ; adding that [I]_1451-i did not believe there would be either stir or esclandre : [Madame]_190-madame was much too prudent to make a noise about an affair of that sort connected with [[her]_190-madame establishment]_{5087-her establishment} . [He]_{823-a man} stood looking down and meditating . [He]_{823-a man} was both too proud and too honourable to entreat [my]_1451-i secresy on a point which duty evidently commanded [me]_1451-i to communicate . [I]_1451-i wished to do right , yet loathed to grieve or injure [him]_{823-a man} . Just then [Rosine]_203-rosine glanced out through the open door ; [she]_203-rosine could not see [us]_5088-us , though between the trees [I]_1451-i could plainly see [her]_203-rosine : [her]_203-rosine dress was grey , like [mine]_1451-i . This circumstance , taken in connection with prior transactions , suggested to [me]_1451-i that perhaps the case , however deplorable , was one in which [I]_1451-i was under no obligation whatever to concern [myself]_1451-i . Accordingly , [I]_1451-i said , - "_[1451-i] If [you]_1452-you can assure [me]_0-i that none of [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's pupils]_{1453-madame beck 's pupils} are implicated in this business , [I]_0-i shall be very happy to stand aloof from all interference . Take the casket , the bouquet , and the billet ; for [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i gladly forget the whole affair . " "_[0-i] Look there ! " [he]_{823-a man} whispered suddenly , as [his]_{823-a man} hand closed on what [I]_0-i offered , and at the same time [he]_{823-a man} pointed through the boughs . [I]_0-i looked . Behold [Madame]_190-madame , in shawl , wrapping - gown , and slippers , softly descending the steps , and stealing like a cat round [the garden]_{1165-the garden} : in two minutes [she]_190-madame would have been upon [Dr. John]_135-graham . If [she]_190-madame were like a cat , however , [he]_{823-a man} , quite as much , resembled a leopard : nothing could be lighter than [his]_{823-a man} tread when [he]_{823-a man} chose . [He]_{823-a man} watched , and as [she]_190-madame turned a corner , [he]_{823-a man} took [the garden]_{1165-the garden} at two noiseless bounds . [She]_190-madame reappeared , and [he]_{823-a man} was gone . [Rosine]_203-rosine helped [him]_{823-a man} , instantly interposing the door between [him]_{823-a man} and [[his]_{823-a man} huntress]_{5091-his huntress} . [I]_0-i , too , might have got , away , but [I]_0-i preferred to meet [Madame]_190-madame openly . Though it was [my]_0-i frequent and well - known custom to spend twilight in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , yet , never till now , had [I]_0-i remained so late . [Full]_249-full sure was [I]_0-i that [Madame]_190-madame had missed - was come in search of [me]_0-i , and designed now to pounce on [the defaulter unawares]_{5093-the defaulter unawares} . [I]_0-i expected a reprimand . No . [Madame]_190-madame was all goodness . [She]_190-madame tendered not even a remonstrance ; [she]_190-madame testified no shade of surprise . With that consummate tact of [hers]_190-madame , in which [I]_0-i believe [she]_190-madame was never surpassed by living thing , [she]_190-madame even professed merely to have issued forth to taste "_[0-i] la brise du soir . " "_[0-i] Quelle belle nuit ! " cried [she]_190-madame , looking up at the stars - the moon was now gone down behind [the broad tower of [Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste}]_{5094-the broad tower of jean baptiste} . "_[0-i] Qu'il fait bon ? que l'air est frais ! " And , instead of sending [me]_0-i in , [she]_190-madame detained [me]_0-i to take a few turns with [her]_190-madame down [the principal alley]_{5095-the principal alley} . When at last [we]_5096-we both re - entered , [she]_190-madame leaned affably on [my]_0-i shoulder by way of support in mounting the front- door steps ; at parting , [her]_190-madame cheek was presented to [my]_0-i lips , and "_[0-i] Bon soir , [my]_0-i bonne amie ; dormez bien ! " was [her]_190-madame kindly adieu for the night . [I]_0-i caught [myself]_0-i smiling as [I]_0-i lay awake and thoughtful on [my]_0-i couch - smiling at [Madame]_190-madame . The unction , the suavity of [her]_190-madame behaviour offered , for one who knew [her]_190-madame , a sure token that suspicion of some kind was busy in [her]_190-madame brain . From some aperture or summit of observation , through parted bough or open window , [she]_190-madame had doubtless caught a glimpse , remote or near , deceptive or instructive , of that night 's transactions . Finely accomplished as [she]_190-madame was in the art of surveillance , it was next to impossible that a casket could be thrown into [[her]_190-madame garden]_{5097-her garden} , or [an interloper]_{5098-an interloper} could cross [her]_190-madame walks to seek it , without that [she]_190-madame , in shaken branch , passing shade , unwonted footfall , or stilly murmur and though [Dr. John]_135-graham had spoken very low in the few words [he]_135-graham dropped [me]_0-i , yet the hum of [[his]_135-graham man]_{5099-his man} 's voice pervaded , [I]_0-i thought , the whole conventual ground - without , [I]_0-i say , that [she]_190-madame should have caught intimation of things extraordinary transpiring on [[her]_190-madame premises]_{5100-her premises} . What things , [she]_190-madame might by no means see , or at that time be able to discover ; but a delicious little ravelled plot lay tempting [her]_190-madame to disentanglement ; and in the midst , folded round and round in cobwebs , had [she]_190-madame not secured "_[0-i] Meess Lucie " clumsily involved , like the foolish fly [she]_190-madame was ? CHAPTER XIII . A SNEEZE OUT OF SEASON . [I]_0-i had occasion to smile - nay , to laugh , at [Madame]_190-madame again , within the space of four and twenty hours after the little scene treated of in the last chapter . [Villette]_3-villette owns a climate as variable , though not so humid , as that of [any English town]_{5101-any english town} . A night of high wind followed upon that soft sunset , and all the next day was one of dry storm - dark , beclouded , yet rainless , - [the streets]_{983-the streets} were dim with sand and dust , whirled from [the boulevards]_{5051-the boulevards} . [I]_0-i know not that even lovely weather would have tempted [me]_0-i to spend the evening - time of study and recreation where [I]_0-i had spent it yesterday . [[My]_0-i alley]_{5104-my alley} , and , indeed , all the walks and shrubs in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , had acquired a new , but not a pleasant interest ; [their]_5106-their seclusion was now become precarious ; [their]_5106-their calm - insecure . That casement which rained billets , had vulgarized [the once dear nook it overlooked]_{5107-the once dear nook it overlooked} ; and elsewhere , the eyes of the flowers had gained vision , and the knots in the tree - boles listened like secret ears . Some plants there were , indeed , trodden down by [Dr. John]_135-graham in [his]_135-graham search , and [his]_135-graham hasty and heedless progress , which [I]_0-i wished to prop up , water , and revive ; some footmarks , too , [he]_135-graham had left on the beds : but these , in spite of the strong wind , [I]_0-i found a moment 's leisure to efface very early in the morning , ere common eyes had discovered them . With a pensive sort of content , [I]_0-i sat down to [my]_0-i desk and [my]_0-i German , while [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} settled to [their]_{1102-the pupils} evening lessons ; and [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} took up [their]_{5049-the other teachers} needlework . The scene of the "_[0-i] etude du soir " was always [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory} , [a much smaller apartment than [any of the three classes or [schoolrooms]_{4829-schoolrooms}]_{5112-any of the three classes or schoolrooms}]_{5111-a much smaller apartment than any of the three classes or schoolrooms} ; for [here]_4212-here [none]_4383-none , save [the boarders]_{1097-the boarders} , were ever admitted , and these numbered only a score . Two lamps hung from the ceiling over the two tables ; these were lit at dusk , and their kindling was the signal for school- books being set aside , a grave demeanour assumed , general silence enforced , and then commenced "_[0-i] la lecture pieuse . " This said "_[0-i] lecture pieuse " was , [I]_0-i soon found , mainly designed as a wholesome mortification of the Intellect , a useful humiliation of the Reason ; and such a dose for Common Sense as [she]_5117-she might digest at [her]_5117-she leisure , and thrive on as [she]_5117-she best could . The book brought out it was never changed , but when finished , recommenced was a venerable volume , old as the hills - grey as [the Hotel de Ville]_{5118-the hotel de ville} . [I]_0-i would have given two francs for the chance of getting that book once into [my]_0-i bands , turning over the sacred yellow leaves , ascertaining the title , and perusing with [my]_0-i own eyes the enormous figments which , as [an unworthy heretic]_{5119-an unworthy heretic} , it was only permitted [me]_0-i to drink in with [my]_0-i bewildered ears . This book contained legends of [the saints]_{5120-the saints} . [Good God]_164-god ! [I]_0-i speak the words reverently what legends they were . What [gasconading rascals those saints]_{5121-gasconading rascals those saints} must have been , if [they]_{5120-the saints} first boasted these exploits or invented these miracles . These legends , however , were no more than monkish extravagances , over which [one]_607-one laughed inwardly ; there were , besides , priestly matters , and the priestcraft of the book was far worse than its monkery . The ears burned on each side of [my]_0-i head as [I]_0-i listened , perforce , to tales of moral martyrdom inflicted by [Rome]_54-rome ; the dread boasts of [confessors]_{5123-confessors} , who had wickedly abused [[their]_{5123-confessors} office]_{5124-their office} , trampling to [deep degradation high - born ladies]_{5125-deep degradation high - born ladies} , making of [countesses]_{5126-countesses} and [princesses the most tormented slaves under the sun]_{5127-princesses the most tormented slaves under the sun} . Stories like that of [Conrad]_250-conrad and [Elizabeth of Hungary]_{251-elizabeth of hungary} , recurred again and again , with all its dreadful viciousness , sickening tyranny and black impiety : tales that were nightmares of oppression , privation , and agony . [I]_0-i sat out this "_[0-i] lecture pieuse " for some nights as well as [I]_0-i could , and as quietly too ; only once breaking off the points of [my]_0-i scissors by involuntarily sticking them somewhat deep in the worm - eaten board of the table before [me]_0-i . But , at last , it made [me]_0-i so burning hot , and [my]_0-i temples , and [my]_0-i heart , and [my]_0-i wrist throbbed so fast , and [my]_0-i sleep afterwards was so broken with excitement , that [I]_0-i could sit no longer . [Prudence]_252-prudence recommended henceforward a swift clearance of [[my]_0-i person]_{5128-my person} from [the place]_{5129-the place} , the moment that guilty old book was brought out . [No Mause Headrigg]_{253-no mause headrigg} ever felt a stronger call to take up [her]_{253-no mause headrigg} testimony against [Sergeant Bothwell]_{254-sergeant bothwell} , than [I]_0-i - to speak [my]_0-i mind in this matter of the popish "_[0-i] lecture pieuse . " However , [I]_0-i did manage somehow to curb and rein in ; and though always , as soon as [Rosine]_203-rosine came to light the lamps , [I]_0-i shot from [the room]_{600-the room} quickly , yet also [I]_0-i did it quietly ; seizing that vantage moment given by the little bustle before the dead silence , and vanishing whilst [the boarders]_{1097-the boarders} put [their]_{1097-the boarders} books away . When [I]_0-i vanished - it was into darkness ; candles were not allowed to be carried about , and [the teacher who forsook [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory}]_{5132-the teacher who forsook the refectory} , had only [the unlit hall]_{5134-the unlit hall} , [schoolroom]_{1176-schoolroom} , or [bedroom]_5136-bedroom , as a refuge . In winter [I]_0-i sought the long classes , and paced them fast to keep [myself]_0-i warm - fortunate if the moon shone , and if there were only stars , soon reconciled to their dim gleam , or even to the total eclipse of their absence . In summer it was never quite dark , and then [I]_0-i went up - stairs to [[my]_0-i own quarter of [the long dormitory]_{5138-the long dormitory}]_{5137-my own quarter of the long dormitory} , opened [my]_0-i own casement that chamber was lit by five casements large as great doors , and leaning out , looked forth upon [the city]_{4429-the city} beyond [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , and listened to band- music from [the park]_{987-the park} or [the palace - square]_{5142-the palace - square} , thinking meantime [my]_0-i own thoughts , living [my]_0-i own life , in [my]_0-i own still , shadow - world . This evening , fugitive as usual before [the Pope]_{5143-the pope} and [his]_{5143-the pope} works , [I]_0-i mounted the staircase , approached [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} , and quietly opened the door , which was always kept carefully shut , and which , like every other door in [this house]_{5145-this house} , revolved noiselessly on well - oiled hinges . Before [I]_0-i saw , [I]_0-i felt that life was in [the great room]_{5146-the great room} , usually void : not that there was either stir or breath , or rustle of sound , but [Vacuum]_255-vacuum lacked , Solitude was not at [home]_542-home . All the white beds - the "_[0-i] lits d'ange , " as they were poetically termed - lay visible at a glance ; all were empty : [no sleeper]_{5148-no sleeper} reposed therein . The sound of a drawer cautiously slid out struck [my]_0-i ear ; stepping a little to one side , [my]_0-i vision took a free range , unimpeded by falling curtains . [I]_0-i now commanded [my]_0-i own bed and [[my]_0-i own toilet]_{5149-my own toilet} , with a locked work - box upon it , and locked drawers underneath . Very good . [A dumpy , motherly little body]_{5150-a dumpy , motherly little body} , in decent shawl and the cleanest of possible nightcaps , stood before this toilet , hard at work apparently doing [me]_0-i the kindness of "_[0-i] tidying out " the "_[0-i] meuble . " Open stood the lid of the work - box , open the top drawer ; duly and impartially was each succeeding drawer opened in turn : not an article of [their]_5151-their contents but was lifted and unfolded , not a paper but was glanced over , not a little box but was unlidded ; and beautiful was the adroitness , exemplary the care with which the search was accomplished . [Madame]_190-madame wrought at it like a true star , "_[0-i] unhasting yet unresting . " [I]_0-i will not deny that it was with a secret glee [I]_0-i watched [her]_190-madame . Had [I]_0-i been [a gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} [I]_0-i believe [Madame]_190-madame would have found favour in [my]_0-i eyes , [she]_190-madame was so handy , neat , thorough in all [she]_190-madame did : [some people]_{5153-some people} 's movements provoke the soul by [their]_{5153-some people} loose awkwardness , [hers]_190-madame - satisfied by [their]_{5153-some people} trim compactness . [I]_0-i stood , in short , fascinated ; but it was necessary to make an effort to break this spell a retreat must be beaten . [The searcher]_{5154-the searcher} might have turned and caught [me]_0-i ; there would have been nothing for it then but a scene , and [she]_190-madame and [I]_0-i would have had to come all at once , with a sudden clash , to a thorough knowledge of [each other]_{4318-each other} : down would have gone conventionalities , away swept disguises , and [I]_0-i should have looked into [her]_190-madame eyes , and [she]_190-madame into [mine]_0-i - [we]_5156-we should have known that [we]_5156-we could work together no more , and parted in this life for ever . Where was the use of tempting such a catastrophe ? [I]_0-i was not angry , and had no wish in [the world]_{811-the world} to leave [her]_190-madame . [I]_0-i could hardly get [another employer whose yoke would be so light and so , easy of carriage]_{5158-another employer whose yoke would be so light and so , easy of carriage} ; and truly [I]_0-i liked [Madame]_190-madame for [her]_190-madame capital sense , whatever [I]_0-i might think of [her]_190-madame principles : as to [her]_190-madame system , it did [me]_0-i no harm ; [she]_190-madame might work [me]_0-i with it to [her]_190-madame heart 's content : nothing would come of the operation . Loverless and inexpectant of love , [I]_0-i was as safe from spies in [my]_0-i heart - poverty , as [the beggar from [thieves]_5160-thieves in [his]_{5159-the beggar from thieves in his destitution of purse} destitution of purse]_{5159-the beggar from thieves in his destitution of purse} . [I]_0-i turned , then , and fled ; descending the stairs with progress as swift and soundless as that of the spider , which at the same instant ran down [the bannister]_{5161-the bannister} . How [I]_0-i laughed when [I]_0-i reached [the schoolroom]_{5162-the schoolroom} . [I]_0-i knew now [she]_190-madame had certainly seen [Dr. John]_135-graham in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} ; [I]_0-i knew what [her]_190-madame thoughts were . The spectacle of a suspicious nature so far misled by its own inventions , tickled [me]_0-i much . Yet as the laugh died , a kind of wrath smote [me]_0-i , and then bitterness followed : it was the rock struck , and [Meribah]_256-meribah 's waters gushing out . [I]_0-i never had felt so strange and contradictory an inward tumult as [I]_0-i felt for an hour that evening : soreness and laughter , and fire , and grief , shared [my]_0-i heart between [them]_5164-them . [I]_0-i cried hot tears : not because [Madame]_190-madame mistrusted [me]_0-i - [I]_0-i did not care twopence for [her]_190-madame mistrust - but for other reasons . Complicated , disquieting thoughts broke up the whole repose of [my]_0-i nature . However , that turmoil subsided : next day [I]_0-i was again [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy . On revisiting [my]_0-i drawers , [I]_0-i found them all securely locked ; the closest subsequent examination could not discover change or apparent disturbance in the position of one object . [My]_0-i few dresses were folded as [I]_0-i had left them ; a certain little bunch of white violets that had once been silently presented to [me]_0-i by [a stranger a stranger to [me]_0-i]_{5165-a stranger a stranger to me} , for [we]_5166-we had never exchanged words , and which [I]_0-i had dried and kept for its sweet perfume between the folds of [my]_0-i best dress , lay there unstirred ; [my]_0-i black silk scarf , [my]_0-i lace chemisette and collars , were unrumpled . Had [she]_190-madame creased one solitary article , [I]_0-i own [I]_0-i should have felt much greater difficulty in forgiving [her]_190-madame ; but finding all straight and orderly , [I]_0-i said , "_[0-i] Let bygones be bygones . [I]_0-i am unharmed : why should [I]_0-i bear malice ? " A thing there was which puzzled [myself]_0-i , and [I]_0-i sought in [my]_0-i brain a key to that riddle almost as sedulously as [Madame]_190-madame had sought a guide to useful knowledge in [my]_0-i toilet drawers . How was it that [Dr. John]_135-graham , if [he]_135-graham had not been accessory to the dropping of that casket into [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , should have known that it was dropped , and appeared so promptly on the spot to seek it ? So strong was the wish to clear up this point that [I]_0-i began to entertain this daring suggestion : "_[0-i] Why may [I]_0-i not , in case [I]_0-i should ever have the opportunity , ask [Dr. John]_135-graham [himself]_135-graham to explain this coincidence ? " And so long as [Dr. John]_135-graham was absent , [I]_135-graham really believed [I]_135-graham had courage to test [him]_135-graham with such a question . [Little Georgette]_{239-georgette} was now convalescent ; and [[her]_{239-georgette} physician]_{5168-her physician} accordingly made [his]_135-graham visits very rare : indeed , [he]_135-graham would have ceased them altogether , had not [Madame]_190-madame insisted on [his]_135-graham giving an occasional call till [the child]_{4206-the child} should be quite well . [She]_190-madame came into [the nursery]_{4802-the nursery} one evening just after [I]_135-graham had listened to [Georgette]_{239-georgette} 's lisped and broken prayer , and had put [her]_{239-georgette} to bed . Taking [the little one]_{5171-the little one} 's hand , [she]_190-madame said , "_[135-graham] Cette enfant a toujours un peu de fievre . " And presently afterwards , looking at [me]_135-graham with a quicker glance than was habitual to [her]_190-madame quiet eye , "_[135-graham] [Le Docteur [John]_190-madame l'a - t - il vue dernierement]_{1454-le docteur john l'a - t - il vue dernierement} ? Non , n'est - ce pas ? " Of course [she]_190-madame knew this better than [any other person in [the house]_{518-the house}]_{5172-any other person in the house} . "_[135-graham] Well , " [she]_190-madame continued , "_[135-graham] [I]_0-i am going out , pour faire quelques courses en fiacre . [I]_0-i shall call on [Dr. John]_135-graham , and send [him]_135-graham to [the child]_{4206-the child} . [I]_0-i will that [he]_135-graham sees [her]_{4206-the child} this evening ; [her]_{4206-the child} cheeks are flushed , [her]_{4206-the child} pulse is quick ; [you]_1456-you will receive [him]_135-graham - for [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i shall be from [home]_542-home . " Now [the child]_{4206-the child} was well enough , only warm with the warmth of [July]_257-july ; it was scarcely less needful to send for [a priest to administer extreme unction]_{5175-a priest to administer extreme unction} than for [a doctor to prescribe a dose]_{5176-a doctor to prescribe a dose} ; also [Madame]_190-madame rarely made "_[0-i] courses , " as [she]_190-madame called [them]_5177-them , in the evening : moreover , this was the first time [she]_190-madame had chosen to absent [herself]_190-madame on the occasion of a visit from [Dr. John]_135-graham . The whole arrangement indicated some plan ; this [I]_0-i saw , but without the least anxiety . "_[0-i] Ha ! ha ! [Madame]_190-madame , " laughed [Light - heart]_{258-light - heart} [the Beggar]_{5178-the beggar} , "_[190-madame] [your]_190-madame crafty wits are on the wrong tack . " [She]_190-madame departed , attired very smartly , in a shawl of price , and a certain chapeau vert tendre - hazardous , as to its tint , for any complexion less fresh than [her]_190-madame own , but , to [her]_190-madame , not unbecoming . [I]_190-madame wondered what [she]_190-madame intended : whether [she]_190-madame really would send [Dr. John]_135-graham or not ; or whether indeed [he]_135-graham would come : [he]_135-graham might be engaged . [Madame]_190-madame had charged [me]_190-madame not to let [Georgette]_{239-georgette} sleep till [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} came ; [I]_190-madame had therefore sufficient occupation in telling [her]_{239-georgette} nursery tales and palavering the little language for [her]_{239-georgette} benefit . [I]_190-madame affected [Georgette]_{239-georgette} ; [she]_{239-georgette} was [a sensitive and a loving child]_{5180-a sensitive and a loving child} : to hold [her]_{239-georgette} in [my]_190-madame lap , or carry [her]_{239-georgette} in [my]_190-madame arms , was to [me]_190-madame a treat . To - night [she]_{239-georgette} would have [me]_190-madame lay [my]_190-madame head on the pillow of [[her]_{239-georgette} crib]_{1373-her crib} ; [she]_{239-georgette} even put [her]_{239-georgette} little arms round [my]_190-madame neck . [Her]_{239-georgette} clasp , and the nestling action with which [she]_{239-georgette} pressed [her]_{239-georgette} cheek to [mine]_190-madame , made [me]_190-madame almost cry with a tender pain . Feeling of no kind abounded in [that house]_{1363-that house} ; this pure little drop from a pure little source was too sweet : it penetrated deep , and subdued the heart , and sent a gush to the eyes . Half an hour or an hour passed ; [Georgette]_{239-georgette} murmured in [her]_{239-georgette} soft lisp that [she]_{239-georgette} was growing sleepy . "_[190-madame] And [you]_1458-you shall sleep , " thought [I]_1458-you , "_[1458-you] [malgre maman]_{1459-malgre maman} and [medecin]_1460-medecin , if [they]_1461-they are not [here]_4212-here in ten minutes . " Hark ! There was the ring , and there the tread , astonishing the staircase by the fleetness with which it left the steps behind . [Rosine]_203-rosine introduced [Dr. John]_135-graham , and , with a freedom of manner not altogether peculiar to [herself]_203-rosine , but characteristic of [the domestics of [Villette]_3-villette]_{5183-the domestics of villette} generally , [she]_203-rosine stayed to hear what [he]_135-graham had to say . [Madame]_190-madame 's presence would have awed [her]_203-rosine back to [her]_203-rosine own realm of [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} and [the cabinet]_{5185-the cabinet} - for [mine]_1458-you , or that of [any other teacher or pupil]_{5186-any other teacher or pupil} , [she]_203-rosine cared not a jot . Smart , trim and pert , [she]_203-rosine stood , a hand in each pocket of [her]_203-rosine gay grisette apron , eyeing [Dr. John]_135-graham with no more fear or shyness than if [he]_135-graham had been a picture instead of [a living gentleman]_{5187-a living gentleman} . "_{[1460-medecin]} [Le marmot n'a rien]_230-alfred , nest - ce pas ? " said [she]_203-rosine , indicating [Georgette]_{239-georgette} with a jerk of [her]_203-rosine chin . "_[230-alfred] Pas beaucoup , " was the answer , as [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} hastily scribbled with [his]_{4288-the doctor} pencil some harmless prescription . "_[230-alfred] Eh bien ! " pursued [Rosine]_203-rosine , approaching [him]_135-graham quite near , while [he]_135-graham put up [his]_135-graham pencil . "_[230-alfred] And the box - did [you]_1463-you get it ? [Monsieur]_{1464-monsieur} went off like a coup - de - vent the other night ; [I]_0-i had not time to ask [him]_{1464-monsieur} . " "_{[1464-monsieur]} [I]_0-i found it : yes . " "_[0-i] And who threw it , then ? " continued [Rosine]_203-rosine , speaking quite freely the very words [I]_0-i should so much have wished to say , but had no address or courage to bring it out : how short [some people]_{5153-some people} make the road to a point which , for [others]_770-others , seems unattainable ! "_[0-i] That may be [my]_0-i secret , " rejoined [Dr. John]_135-graham briefly , but with no , sort of hauteur : [he]_135-graham seemed quite to understand the [Rosine]_203-rosine or grisette character . "_[0-i] Mais enfin , " continued [she]_203-rosine , nothing abashed , "_{[1465-monsieur]} [monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} knew it was thrown , since be came to seek it - how did [he]_{1465-monsieur} know ? " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [I]_0-i was attending [a little patient in [the college near]_{1467-the college near}]_{1466-a little patient in the college near} , " said [he]_0-i , "_[0-i] and saw it dropped out of [his]_{1466-a little patient in the college near} chamber window , and so came to pick it up . " How simple the whole explanation ! The note had alluded to [a physician]_{528-a physician} as then examining "_{[248-gustave]} [Gustave]_248-gustave . " "_{[248-gustave]} Ah ca ! " pursued [Rosine]_203-rosine ; "_{[248-gustave]} il n'y a donc rien la - dessous : pas de mystere , pas d'amourette , par exemple ? " "_{[248-gustave]} Pas plus que sur ma main , " responded [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} , showing [his]_{4288-the doctor} palm . "_{[248-gustave]} Quel dommage ! " responded [the grisette]_{5193-the grisette} : "_{[248-gustave]} et moi - a qui tout cela commencait a donner des idees . " "_{[248-gustave]} Vraiment ! vous en etes pour vos frais , " was [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} 's cool rejoinder . [She]_203-rosine pouted . [The doctor]_{4288-the doctor} could not help laughing at the sort of "_{[248-gustave]} moue " [she]_203-rosine made : when [he]_{4288-the doctor} laughed , [he]_{4288-the doctor} had something peculiarly good - natured and genial in [his]_{4288-the doctor} look . [I]_248-gustave saw [his]_{4288-the doctor} hand incline to [his]_{4288-the doctor} pocket . "_{[248-gustave]} How many times have [you]_1468-you opened the door for [me]_0-i within this last month ? " [he]_{4288-the doctor} asked . "_[1468-you] [Monsieur]_{1469-monsieur} ought to have kept count of that , " said [Rosine]_203-rosine , quite readily . "_{[1469-monsieur]} As if [I]_0-i had not something better to do ! " rejoined [he]_{4288-the doctor} ; but [I]_{1469-monsieur} saw [him]_{4288-the doctor} give [her]_203-rosine a piece of gold , which [she]_203-rosine took unscrupulously , and then danced off to answer the door - bell , ringing just now every five minutes , as [the various servants]_{5196-the various servants} came to fetch [the half - boarders]_{5197-the half - boarders} . [The reader]_{759-the reader} must not think too hardly of [Rosine]_203-rosine ; on the whole , [she]_203-rosine was not [a bad sort of person]_{5199-a bad sort of person} , and had no idea there could be any disgrace in grasping at whatever [she]_203-rosine could get , or any effrontery in chattering like a pie to [the best gentleman in [Christendom]_{55-christendom}]_{5200-the best gentleman in christendom} . [I]_{1469-monsieur} had learnt something from the above scene besides what concerned the ivory box : viz . , that not on the robe de jaconas , pink or grey , nor yet on the frilled and pocketed apron , lay the blame of breaking [Dr. John]_135-graham 's heart : these items of array were obviously guiltless as [Georgette]_{239-georgette} 's little blue tunic . So much the better . But who then was [the culprit]_{5201-the culprit} ? What was the ground - what the origin - what the perfect explanation of the whole business ? Some points had been cleared , but how many yet remained obscure as night ! "_{[1469-monsieur]} However , " [I]_{1469-monsieur} said to [myself]_{1469-monsieur} , "_{[1469-monsieur]} it is no affair of [yours]_1470-yours ; " and turning from the face on which [I]_{1469-monsieur} had been unconsciously dwelling with a questioning gaze , [I]_{1469-monsieur} looked through the window which commanded [the garden below]_{1285-the garden below} . [Dr. John]_135-graham , meantime , standing by the bed - side , was slowly drawing on [his]_135-graham gloves and watching [[his]_135-graham little patient]_{5203-his little patient} , as [her]_{5203-his little patient} eyes closed and [her]_{5203-his little patient} rosy lips parted in coming sleep . [I]_{1469-monsieur} waited till [he]_135-graham should depart as usual , with a quick bow and scarce articulate "_{[1469-monsieur]} good- night . " . Just as [he]_135-graham took [his]_135-graham hat , [my]_{1469-monsieur} eyes , fixed on [the tall houses bounding [the garden]_{1165-the garden}]_{5204-the tall houses bounding the garden} , saw the one lattice , already commemorated , cautiously open ; forth from the aperture projected a hand and a white handkerchief ; both waved . [I]_{1469-monsieur} know not whether the signal was answered from [some viewless quarter of [[our]_5207-our own dwelling]_{5208-our own dwelling}]_{5206-some viewless quarter of our own dwelling} ; but immediately after there fluttered from , the lattice a falling object , white and light - billet the second , of course . "_{[1469-monsieur]} There ! " [I]_{1469-monsieur} ejaculated involuntarily . "_{[1469-monsieur]} Where ? " , asked [Dr. John]_135-graham with energy , making direct for the window . "_{[1469-monsieur]} What , is it ? " "_{[1469-monsieur]} [They]_1471-they have gone and done it again , " was [my]_1471-they reply . "_[1471-they] A handkerchief waved and something fell : " and [I]_1471-they pointed to the lattice , now closed and looking hypocritically blank . "_[1471-they] Go , at once ; pick it up and bring it here , " was [his]_135-graham prompt direction ; adding , "_{[4256-nobody]} [Nobody]_4256-nobody will take notice of [you]_1473-you : [I]_0-i should be seen . " Straight [I]_0-i went . After some little search , [I]_0-i found a folded paper , lodged on the lower branch of a shrub ; [I]_0-i seized and brought it direct to [Dr. John]_135-graham . This time , [I]_0-i believe not even [Rosine]_203-rosine saw [me]_0-i . [He]_135-graham instantly tore the billet into small pieces , without reading it . "_[0-i] It is not in the least [her]_1474-her fault , [you]_1473-you must remember , " [he]_135-graham said , looking at [me]_1474-her . "_[1474-her] Whose fault ? " [I]_1474-her asked . "_[1474-her] Who is it ? " "_[1473-you] [You]_1473-you do n't yet know , then ? " "_[1473-you] Not in the least . " "_[1473-you] Have [you]_1473-you no guess ? " "_[1473-you] None . " "_[1473-you] If [I]_0-i knew [you]_1473-you better , [I]_0-i might be tempted to risk some confidence , and thus secure [you]_1473-you as guardian over [a most innocent and excellent , but somewhat inexperienced being]_{1475-a most innocent and excellent , but somewhat inexperienced being} . " "_{[1476-a duenna]} As [a duenna]_{1476-a duenna} ? " [I]_{1476-a duenna} asked . "_{[1476-a duenna]} Yes , " said [he]_135-graham abstractedly . "_{[1476-a duenna]} What snares are round [her]_1474-her ! " [he]_135-graham added , musingly : and now , certainly for the first time , [he]_135-graham examined [my]_0-i face , anxious , doubtless , to see if any kindly expression there , would warrant [him]_135-graham in recommending to [my]_0-i care and indulgence [some ethereal creature , against whom powers of darkness were plotting]_{5209-some ethereal creature , against whom powers of darkness were plotting} . [I]_0-i felt no particular vocation to undertake the surveillance of [ethereal creatures]_{5210-ethereal creatures} ; but recalling the scene at [the bureau]_{1235-the bureau} , it seemed to [me]_0-i that [I]_0-i owed [him]_135-graham a good turn : if [I]_0-i could help [him]_135-graham then [I]_0-i would , and it lay not with [me]_0-i to decide how . With as little reluctance as might be , [I]_0-i intimated that "_[0-i] [I]_0-i was willing to do what [I]_0-i could towards taking care of any person in whom [he]_1477-he might be interested . " . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am no farther interested than as [a spectator]_{1478-a spectator} , " said [he]_135-graham , with a modesty , admirable , as [I]_0-i thought , to witness . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i happen to be acquainted with [the rather worthless character of [the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of [this place]_{1481-this place}]_{1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place}]_{1479-the rather worthless character of the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place} ; [I]_0-i have also met in [society the object at whom these vulgar attempts are aimed]_{1482-society the object at whom these vulgar attempts are aimed} . [Her]_{1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place} exquisite superiority and innate refinement ought , one would think , to scare impertinence from [her]_{1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place} very idea . It is not so , however ; and innocent , unsuspicious as [she]_{1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place} is , [I]_0-i would guard [her]_{1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place} from evil if [I]_0-i could . In person , however , [I]_0-i can do nothing [I]_0-i can not come near [her]_{1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place} " - [he]_0-i paused . "_[0-i] Well , [I]_0-i am willing to help [you]_0-i , " said [I]_0-i , "_[0-i] only tell [me]_0-i how . " And busily , in [my]_0-i own mind , [I]_0-i ran over the list of [[our]_1483-our inmates]_{5212-our inmates} , seeking this paragon , this pearl of great price , this gem without flaw . "_[0-i] It must be [Madame]_190-madame , " [I]_190-madame concluded . "_[190-madame] [She]_{1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place} only , amongst [us]_1483-our all , has the art even to seem superior : but as to being unsuspicious , inexperienced , c. , [Dr. John]_135-graham need not distract [himself]_135-graham about that . However , this is just [his]_135-graham whim , and [I]_0-i will not contradict [him]_135-graham ; [he]_135-graham shall be humoured : [[his]_135-graham angel]_{1484-his angel} shall be [an angel]_{1143-an angel} . " Just notify the quarter to which [my]_0-i care is to be directed , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i continued gravely : chuckling , however , to [myself]_0-i over the thought of being set to chaperon [Madame Beck]_190-madame or [any of [her]_190-madame pupils]_{1486-any of her pupils} . Now [Dr. John]_135-graham had a fine set of nerves , and [he]_135-graham at once felt by instinct , what [no more coarsely constituted mind]_{1487-no more coarsely constituted mind} would have detected ; namely , that [I]_0-i was a little amused at [him]_135-graham . The colour rose to [his]_135-graham cheek ; with half a smile [he]_135-graham turned and took [his]_135-graham hat - [he]_135-graham was going . [My]_0-i heart smote [me]_0-i . " [I]_0-i will - [I]_0-i will help [you]_135-graham , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i eagerly . " [I]_0-i will do what [you]_135-graham wish . [I]_0-i will watch over [[your]_135-graham angel]_{5213-your angel} ; [I]_0-i will take care of [her]_{5213-your angel} , only tell [me]_0-i who [she]_{5213-your angel} is . "_[0-i] " But [you]_0-i must know , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham then with earnestness , yet speaking very low . " So spotless , so good , so unspeakably beautiful ! impossible that [one house]_{5214-one house} should contain two like [her]_{5213-your angel} . [I]_135-graham allude , of course - "_[135-graham] Here the latch of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's chamber - door opening into [the nursery]_{4802-the nursery} gave a sudden click , as if the hand holding it had been slightly convulsed ; there was the suppressed explosion of an irrepressible sneeze . These little accidents will happen to the best of [us]_1489-us . [Madame]_190-madame - [excellent woman]_{1490-excellent woman} ! was then on duty . [She]_190-madame had come [home]_542-home quietly , stolen up - stairs on tip - toe ; [she]_190-madame was in [[her]_190-madame chamber]_{1070-her chamber} . If [she]_190-madame had not sneezed , [she]_190-madame would have heard all , and so should [I]_0-i ; but [that unlucky sternutation]_{1493-that unlucky sternutation} routed [Dr. John]_135-graham . While [he]_135-graham stood aghast , [she]_190-madame came forward alert , composed , in the best yet most tranquil spirits : no novice to [her]_190-madame habits but would have thought [she]_190-madame had just come in , and scouted the idea of [her]_190-madame ear having been glued to the key - hole for at least ten minutes . [She]_190-madame affected to sneeze again , declared [she]_190-madame was " enrhumee , "_[190-madame] and then proceeded volubly to recount [her]_190-madame " courses en fiacre . "_[190-madame] The prayer - bell rang , and [I]_0-i left [her]_190-madame with [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} . CHAPTER XIV . THE FETE . As soon as [Georgette]_{239-georgette} was well , [Madame]_190-madame sent [her]_{239-georgette} away into [the country]_{571-the country} . [I]_0-i was sorry ; [I]_0-i loved [the child]_{4206-the child} , and [her]_{4206-the child} loss made [me]_0-i poorer than before . But [I]_0-i must not complain . [I]_0-i lived in [a house full of robust life]_{1497-a house full of robust life} ; [I]_0-i might have had [companions]_{4518-companions} , and [I]_0-i chose solitude . [Each of [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers}]_{1499-each of the teachers} in turn made [me]_0-i overtures of special intimacy ; [I]_0-i tried them all . One [I]_0-i found to be [an honest woman]_{1501-an honest woman} , but [a narrow thinker]_{1502-a narrow thinker} , [a coarse feeler]_{1503-a coarse feeler} , and [an egotist]_{1504-an egotist} . [The second]_{1505-the second} was [a Parisienne]_{1506-a parisienne} , externally refined - at heart , [corrupt - without a creed]_{1507-corrupt - without a creed} , without a principle , without an affection : having penetrated the outward crust of decorum in this character , [you]_1508-you found a slough beneath . [She]_{1506-a parisienne} had a wonderful passion for presents ; and , in this point , [the third teacher]_{1509-the third teacher} - [a person otherwise characterless and insignificant]_{1510-a person otherwise characterless and insignificant} - closely resembled [her]_{1506-a parisienne} . [This last - named]_{1511-this last - named} had also one other distinctive property - that of avarice . In [her]_{1506-a parisienne} reigned the love of money for its own sake . The sight of a piece of gold would bring into [her]_{1506-a parisienne} eyes a green glisten , singular to witness . [She]_{1506-a parisienne} once , as a mark of high favour , took [me]_0-i up - stairs , and , opening a secret door , showed [me]_0-i a hoard - a mass of coarse , large coin - about fifteen guineas , in five - franc pieces . [She]_{1506-a parisienne} loved this hoard as a bird loves its eggs . These were [her]_{1506-a parisienne} savings . [She]_{1506-a parisienne} would come and talk to [me]_0-i about them with [an infatuated and persevering dotage]_{1512-an infatuated and persevering dotage} , strange to behold in [a person not yet twenty - five]_{1513-a person not yet twenty - five} . [The Parisienne]_{260-the parisienne} , on the other hand , was prodigal and profligate in disposition , that is : as to action , [I]_0-i do not know . That latter quality showed its snake - head to [me]_0-i but once , peeping out very cautiously . A curious kind of reptile it seemed , judging from the glimpse [I]_0-i got ; its novelty whetted [my]_0-i curiosity : if it would have come out boldly , perhaps [I]_0-i might philosophically have stood [my]_0-i ground , and coolly surveyed the long thing from forked tongue to scaly tail - tip ; but it merely rustled in the leaves of a bad novel ; and , on encountering a hasty and ill - advised demonstration of wrath , recoiled and vanished , hissing . [She]_{1506-a parisienne} hated [me]_0-i from that day . [This Parisienne]_{260-the parisienne} was always in debt ; [her]_{1506-a parisienne} salary being anticipated , not only in dress , but in perfumes , cosmetics , confectionery , and condiments . What a cold , callous epicure [she]_{1506-a parisienne} was in all things ! [I]_0-i see [her]_{1506-a parisienne} now . Thin in face and figure , sallow in complexion , regular in features , with perfect teeth , lips like a thread , a large , prominent chin , a well - opened , but frozen eye , of light at once craving and ingrate . [She]_{1506-a parisienne} mortally hated work , and loved what [she]_{1506-a parisienne} called pleasure ; being an insipid , heartless , brainless dissipation of time . [Madame Beck]_190-madame knew [this woman]_{1514-this woman} 's character perfectly well . [She]_190-madame once talked to [me]_0-i about [her]_{1506-a parisienne} , with an odd mixture of discrimination , indifference , and antipathy . [I]_0-i asked why [she]_190-madame kept [her]_{1506-a parisienne} in [the establishment]_{1092-the establishment} . [She]_190-madame answered plainly , " because it suited [her]_190-madame interest to do so ; "_[190-madame] and pointed out a fact [I]_0-i had already noticed , namely , that [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} possessed , in an almost unique degree , the power of keeping order amongst [[her]_{261-mademoiselle} undisciplined ranks of [scholars]_{1517-scholars}]_{1516-her undisciplined ranks of scholars} . A certain petrifying influence accompanied and surrounded [her]_{1506-a parisienne} : without passion , noise , or violence , [she]_{1506-a parisienne} held them in check as a breezeless frost - air might still a brawling stream . [She]_{1506-a parisienne} was of little use as far as communication of knowledge went , but for strict surveillance and maintenance of rules [she]_{1506-a parisienne} was invaluable . " Je sais bien qu'elle n'a pas de principes , ni , peut - etre , de moeurs , "_[190-madame] admitted [Madame]_190-madame frankly ; but added with philosophy , ' son maintien en classe est toujours convenable et rempli meme d'une certaine dignite : c'est tout ce qu'il faut . Ni les eleves ni les parents ne regardent plus loin ; ni , par consequent , moi non plus . " [A strange , frolicsome , noisy little world]_{5215-a strange , frolicsome , noisy little world} was [this school]_{4877-this school} : great pains were taken to hide chains with flowers : a subtle essence of Romanism pervaded every arrangement : large sensual indulgence so to speak was permitted by way of counterpoise to jealous spiritual restraint . Each mind was being reared in slavery ; but , to prevent reflection from dwelling on this fact , every pretext for physical recreation was seized and made the most of . There , as elsewhere , [the CHURCH]_{5217-the church} strove to bring up [[her]_{1506-a parisienne} children]_{5002-her children} robust in body , feeble in soul , fat , ruddy , hale , joyous , ignorant , unthinking , unquestioning . "_[190-madame] Eat , drink , and live ! " [she]_{1506-a parisienne} says . "_[190-madame] Look after [your]_1518-their bodies ; leave [your]_1518-their souls to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i hold [their]_1518-their cure - guide [their]_1518-their course : [I]_0-i guarantee [their]_1518-their final fate . " A bargain , in which [every true Catholic]_{5219-every true catholic} deems [himself]_{5219-every true catholic} a gainer . [Lucifer]_262-lucifer just offers the same terms : "_[0-i] All this power will [I]_0-i give [thee]_1518-their , and the glory of it ; for that is delivered unto [me]_0-i , and to whomsoever [I]_0-i will [I]_0-i give it . If [thou]_1519-thou , therefore , wilt worship [me]_0-i , all shall be thine ! " About this time - in the ripest glow of summer - [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's house]_{4886-madame beck 's house} became as merry a place as [a school]_{939-a school} could well be . All day long the broad folding - doors and the two - leaved casements stood wide open : settled sunshine seemed naturalized in the atmosphere ; clouds were far off , sailing away beyond [sea]_5222-sea , resting , no doubt , [round islands such as [England]_19-england]_{5223-round islands such as england} - [that dear land of mists]_{5224-that dear land of mists} - but withdrawn wholly from [the drier continent]_{5225-the drier continent} . [We]_5226-we lived far more in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} than under a roof : classes were held , and meals partaken of , in [the "_[1519-thou] grand berceau]_{5228-the " grand berceau} . " Moreover , there was a note of holiday preparation , which almost turned freedom into licence . The autumnal long vacation was but two months distant ; but before that , a great day - an important ceremony - none other than the fete of [Madame]_190-madame - awaited celebration . The conduct of this fete devolved chiefly on [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} : [Madame]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame being supposed to stand aloof , disinterestedly unconscious of what might be going forward in [her]_190-madame honour . Especially , [she]_190-madame never knew , never in the least suspected , that a subscription was annually levied on [the whole school]_{4864-the whole school} for the purchase of a handsome present . The polite tact of [the reader]_{759-the reader} will please to leave out of the account a brief , secret consultation on this point in [[Madame]_190-madame 's own chamber]_{5231-madame 's own chamber} . "_[1519-thou] What will [you]_1520-you have this year ? " was asked by [[her]_190-madame Parisian lieutenant]_{5232-her parisian lieutenant} . "_[1520-you] Oh , no matter ! Let it alone . Let [the poor children]_{1521-the poor children} keep [their]_{1521-the poor children} francs , " And [Madame]_190-madame looked benign and modest . [The St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} would here protrude [her]_{261-mademoiselle} chin ; [she]_{261-mademoiselle} knew [Madame]_190-madame by heart ; [she]_{261-mademoiselle} always called [her]_{261-mademoiselle} airs of "_{[1521-the poor children]} bonte " - "_{[1521-the poor children]} des grimaces . " [She]_{261-mademoiselle} never even professed to respect [them]_5233-them one instant . "_{[1521-the poor children]} Vite ! " [she]_{261-mademoiselle} would say coldly . "_{[1521-the poor children]} Name the article . Shall it be jewellery or porcelain , haberdashery or silver ? " "_{[1521-the poor children]} Eh bien ! Deux ou trois cuillers , et autant de fourchettes en argent . " And the result was a handsome case , containing 300 francs worth of plate . The programme of the fete - day 's proceedings comprised : Presentation of plate , collation in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , dramatic performance with [pupils]_4924-pupils and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} for [actors]_5237-actors , a dance and supper . Very gorgeous seemed the effect of the whole to [me]_{1521-the poor children} , as [I]_{1521-the poor children} well remember . [Zelie St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} understood these things and managed them ably . The play was the main point ; a month 's previous drilling being there required . The choice , too , of [the actors]_{5238-the actors} required knowledge and care ; then came lessons in elocution , in attitude , and then the fatigue of countless rehearsals . For all this , as may well be supposed , [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} did not suffice : other management , other accomplishments than [hers]_{261-mademoiselle} were requisite here . [They]_{5238-the actors} were supplied in the person of [a master]_{4991-a master} - [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , [professor of literature]_{5240-professor of literature} . It was never [my]_{1521-the poor children} lot to be present at the histrionic lessons of [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , but [I]_{1521-the poor children} often saw [him]_{196-m. paul} as [he]_{196-m. paul} crossed the carre [a square hall between [the dwelling - house]_{4822-the dwelling - house} and [school - house]_{5243-school - house}]_{5241-a square hall between the dwelling - house and school - house} . [I]_{1521-the poor children} heard [him]_{196-m. paul} , too , in the warm evenings , lecturing with open doors , and [his]_{196-m. paul} name , with anecdotes of [him]_{196-m. paul} , resounded in ones ears from all sides . Especially [[our]_5244-our former acquaintance]_{5245-our former acquaintance} , [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , - who had been selected to take a prominent part in the play - used , in bestowing upon [me]_{1521-the poor children} a large portion of [her]_179-ginevra leisure , to lard [her]_179-ginevra discourse with frequent allusions to [his]_{196-m. paul} sayings and doings . [She]_179-ginevra esteemed [him]_{196-m. paul} hideously plain , and used to profess [herself]_179-ginevra frightened almost into hysterics at the sound of [his]_{196-m. paul} step or voice . [A dark little man]_{5246-a dark little man} [he]_{196-m. paul} certainly was ; pungent and austere . Even to [me]_{1521-the poor children} [he]_{196-m. paul} seemed [a harsh apparition]_{5247-a harsh apparition} , with [his]_{196-m. paul} close- shorn , black head , [his]_{196-m. paul} broad , sallow brow , [his]_{196-m. paul} thin cheek , [his]_{196-m. paul} wide and quivering nostril , [his]_{196-m. paul} thorough glance , and hurried bearing . Irritable [he]_{196-m. paul} was ; [one]_607-one heard that , as [he]_{196-m. paul} apostrophized with vehemence the awkward squad under [his]_{196-m. paul} orders . Sometimes [he]_{196-m. paul} would break out on [these raw amateur actresses]_{5249-these raw amateur actresses} with a passion of impatience at [their]_{5249-these raw amateur actresses} falseness of conception , [their]_{5249-these raw amateur actresses} coldness of emotion , [their]_{5249-these raw amateur actresses} feebleness of delivery . "_{[1521-the poor children]} Ecoutez ! " [he]_{196-m. paul} would cry ; and then [his]_{196-m. paul} voice rang through [the premises]_{1020-the premises} like a trumpet ; and when , mimicking it , came the small pipe of [a Ginevra]_179-ginevra , [a Mathilde]_{5251-a mathilde} , or [a Blanche]_{5252-a blanche} , [one]_607-one understood why a hollow groan of scorn , or a fierce hiss of rage , rewarded the tame echo . "_{[1521-the poor children]} Vous n'etes donc que des poupees , " [I]_{1521-the poor children} heard [him]_{196-m. paul} thunder . "_{[1521-the poor children]} Vous n'avez pas de passions - vous autres . Vous ne sentez donc rien ? Votre chair est de neige , votre sang de glace ! Moi , je veux que tout cela s'allume , qu'il ait une vie , une ame ! " Vain resolve ! And when [he]_{196-m. paul} at last found it was vain , [he]_{196-m. paul} suddenly broke the whole business down . Hitherto [he]_{196-m. paul} had been teaching [them]_{5249-these raw amateur actresses} a grand tragedy ; [he]_{196-m. paul} tore the tragedy in morsels , and came next day with a compact little comic trifle . To this [they]_{5249-these raw amateur actresses} took more kindly ; [he]_{196-m. paul} presently knocked it all into [their]_{5249-these raw amateur actresses} smooth round pates . [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} always presided at [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's lessons , and [I]_1522-i was told that the polish of [her]_{261-mademoiselle} manner , [her]_{261-mademoiselle} seeming attention , [her]_{261-mademoiselle} tact and grace , impressed [that gentleman]_{5254-that gentleman} very favourably . [She]_{261-mademoiselle} had , indeed , the art of pleasing , for a given time , whom [she]_{261-mademoiselle} would ; but the feeling would not last : in an hour it was dried like dew , vanished like gossamer . The day preceding [Madame]_190-madame 's fete was as much a holiday as the fete itself . It was devoted to clearing out , cleaning , arranging and decorating [the three schoolrooms]_{5255-the three schoolrooms} . All within - doors was the gayest bustle ; neither up - stairs nor down could [a quiet , isolated person]_{5256-a quiet , isolated person} find rest for the sole of [her]_{5256-a quiet , isolated person} foot ; accordingly , for [my]_1522-i part , [I]_1522-i took refuge in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} . The whole day did [I]_1522-i wander or sit there alone , finding warmth in the sun , shelter among the trees , and a sort of companionship in [my]_1522-i own thoughts . [I]_1522-i well remember that [I]_1522-i exchanged but two sentences that day with [any living being]_{5258-any living being} : not that [I]_1522-i felt solitary ; [I]_1522-i was glad to be quiet . For [a looker - on]_{5259-a looker - on} , it sufficed to pass through [the rooms]_{5260-the rooms} once or twice , observe what changes were being wrought , how [a green - room]_{5261-a green - room} and [a dressing - room]_{5262-a dressing - room} were being contrived , a little stage with scenery erected , how [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , in conjunction with [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , was directing all , and how [an eager band of [pupils]_4924-pupils]_{5263-an eager band of pupils} , amongst them [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , were working gaily under [his]_{196-m. paul} control . The great day arrived . The sun rose hot and unclouded , and hot and unclouded it burned on till evening . All the doors and all the windows were set open , which gave a pleasant sense of summer freedom - and freedom the most complete seemed indeed the order of the day . [Teachers]_{1087-teachers} and [pupils]_4924-pupils descended to breakfast in dressing - gowns and curl - papers : anticipating "_[1522-i] avec delices " the toilette of the evening , [they]_4924-pupils seemed to take a pleasure in indulging that forenoon in a luxury of slovenliness ; like [aldermen]_{5267-aldermen} fasting in preparation for a feast . About nine o'clock A.M. , [an important functionary]_{5268-an important functionary} , [the "_[1522-i] coiffeur]_{5269-the " coiffeur} , " arrived . Sacrilegious to state , [he]_{5269-the " coiffeur} fixed [his]_{5269-the " coiffeur} head - quarters in [the oratory]_{1021-the oratory} , and there , in presence of benitier , candle , and crucifix , solemnised the mysteries of [his]_{5269-the " coiffeur} art . [Each girl]_{5271-each girl} was summoned in turn to pass through [his]_{5269-the " coiffeur} hands ; emerging from them with head as smooth as a shell , intersected by faultless white lines , and wreathed about with Grecian plaits that shone as if lacquered . [I]_1522-i took [my]_1522-i turn with the rest , and could hardly believe what the glass said when [I]_1522-i applied to it for information afterwards ; the lavished garlandry of woven brown hair amazed [me]_1522-i - [I]_1522-i feared it was not all [my]_1522-i own , and it required several convincing pulls to give assurance to the contrary . [I]_1522-i then acknowledged in [the coiffeur]_{5272-the coiffeur} [a first - rate artist]_{5273-a first - rate artist} - [one who certainly made the most of indifferent materials]_{5274-one who certainly made the most of indifferent materials} . [The oratory]_{1021-the oratory} closed , [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} became the scene of ablutions , arrayings and bedizenings curiously elaborate . To [me]_1522-i it was , and ever must be an enigma , how [they]_5277-they contrived to spend so much time in doing so little . The operation seemed close , intricate , prolonged : the result simple . A clear white muslin dress , a blue sash the Virgin 's colours , a pair of white , or straw - colour kid gloves - such was the gala uniform , to the assumption whereof [that houseful of [teachers]_{1087-teachers} and [pupils]_4924-pupils]_{5278-that houseful of teachers and pupils} devoted three mortal hours . But though simple , it must be allowed the array was perfect - perfect in fashion , fit , and freshness ; [every head being also dressed with exquisite nicety , and a certain compact taste]_{5281-every head being also dressed with exquisite nicety , and a certain compact taste} - suiting the full , firm comeliness of Labassecourien contours , though too stiff for any more flowing and flexible style of beauty - the general effect was , on the whole , commendable . In beholding this diaphanous and snowy mass , [I]_1522-i well remember feeling [myself]_1522-i to be a mere shadowy spot on a field of light ; the courage was not in [me]_1522-i to put on a transparent white dress : something thin [I]_1522-i must wear - the weather and [rooms]_5282-rooms being too hot to give substantial fabrics sufferance , so [I]_1522-i had sought through [a dozen shops]_{5283-a dozen shops} till [I]_1522-i lit upon a crape - like material of purple - gray - the colour , in short , of dun mist , lying on [a moor]_{5284-a moor} in bloom . [[My]_1522-i tailleuse]_{5285-my tailleuse} had kindly made it as well as [she]_1522-i could : because , as [she]_1522-i judiciously observed , it was ' si triste - si pen voyant , "_[1522-i] care in the fashion was the more imperative : it was well [she]_1522-i took this view of the matter , for [I]_0-i , had no flower , no jewel to relieve it : and , what was more , [I]_0-i had no natural rose of complexion . [We]_1523-we become oblivious of these deficiencies in the uniform routine of daily drudgery , but [they]_1524-they will force upon [us]_1523-we [their]_1524-they unwelcome blank on those bright occasions when beauty should shine . However , in this same gown of shadow , [I]_0-i felt at [home]_542-home and at ease ; an advantage [I]_0-i should not have enjoyed in anything more brilliant or striking . [Madame Beck]_190-madame , too , kept [me]_0-i in countenance ; [her]_190-madame dress was almost as quiet as [mine]_0-i , except that [she]_190-madame wore a bracelet , and a large brooch bright with gold and fine stones . [We]_1523-we chanced to meet on [the stairs]_{1526-the stairs} , and [she]_190-madame gave [me]_0-i a nod and smile of approbation . Not that [she]_190-madame thought [I]_0-i was looking well - a point unlikely to engage [her]_190-madame interest - but [she]_190-madame considered [me]_0-i dressed " convenablement , "_[190-madame] " decemment , "_[190-madame] and la Convenance et la Decence were [the two calm deities of [Madame]_190-madame 's worship]_{1527-the two calm deities of madame 's worship} . [She]_190-madame even paused , laid on [my]_0-i shoulder [her]_190-madame gloved hand , holding an embroidered and perfumed handkerchief , and confided to [my]_0-i ear a sarcasm on [the other teachers whom [she]_190-madame had just been complimenting to [their]_{1528-the other teachers whom she had just been complimenting to their faces} faces]_{1528-the other teachers whom she had just been complimenting to their faces} . " Nothing so absurd , "_[190-madame] [she]_190-madame said , " as for [des femmes mures]_{5286-des femmes mures} ' to dress [themselves]_{5286-des femmes mures} like [girls of fifteen]_{5287-girls of fifteen} ' - quant a la . [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , elle a l'air d'une vieille coquette qui fait l'ingenue . "_[190-madame] Being dressed at least a couple of hours before [anybody else]_{1529-anybody else} , [I]_0-i felt a pleasure in betaking [myself]_0-i - not to [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , where [servants]_{1062-servants} were busy propping up long tables , placing seats , and spreading cloths in readiness for the collation but to [the schoolrooms]_{1532-the schoolrooms} , now empty , quiet , cool , and clean ; [their]_{1532-the schoolrooms} walls fresh stained , [their]_{1532-the schoolrooms} planked floors fresh scoured and scarce dry ; flowers fresh gathered adorning the recesses in pots , and draperies , fresh hung , beautifying the great windows . Withdrawing to [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} , [a smaller and neater room than [the others]_{5058-the others}]_{1534-a smaller and neater room than the others} , and taking from the glazed bookcase , of which [I]_0-i kept the key , a volume whose title promised some interest , [I]_0-i sat down to read . The glass - door of [this " classe , "_[0-i] or [schoolroom]_{1176-schoolroom}]_{1536-this " classe , " or schoolroom} , opened into the large berceau ; acacia - boughs caressed [its]_1538-its panes , as they stretched across to meet a rose - bush blooming by the opposite lintel : in this rose - bush bees murmured busy and happy . [I]_0-i commenced reading . Just as the stilly hum , the embowering shade , the warm , lonely calm of [my]_0-i retreat were beginning to steal meaning from the page , vision from [my]_0-i eyes , and to lure [me]_0-i along the track of reverie , down into some deep dell of dreamland - just then , the sharpest ring of the street - door bell to which that much - tried instrument had ever thrilled , snatched [me]_0-i back to consciousness . Now the bell had been ringing all the morning , as [workmen]_1539-workmen , or [servants]_{1062-servants} , or [coiffeurs]_{1541-coiffeurs} , or [tailleuses]_{1542-tailleuses} , went and came on [their]_{1532-the schoolrooms} several errands . Moreover , there was good reason to expect it would ring all the afternoon , since [about one hundred externes]_{1543-about one hundred externes} were yet to arrive in [carriages]_{5011-carriages} or fiacres : nor could it be expected to rest during the evening , when [parents]_1307-parents and [friends]_533-friends would gather thronging to the play . Under these circumstances , a ring - even a sharp ring - was a matter of course : yet this particular peal had an accent of its own , which chased [my]_0-i dream , and startled [my]_0-i book from [my]_0-i knee . [I]_0-i was stooping to pick up this last , when - firm , fast , straight - right on through vestibule - along [corridor]_{1547-corridor} , across carre , through [first division]_{1548-first division} , second division , [grand salle]_{1549-grand salle} - strode a step , quick , regular , intent . The closed door of [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} - [[my]_0-i sanctuary]_{1551-my sanctuary} - offered no obstacle ; it burst open , and a paletot and [a bonnet grec]_{1552-a bonnet grec} filled the void ; also two eyes first vaguely struck upon , and then hungrily dived into [me]_0-i . " C'est cela ! "_[1553-he] said a voice . " Je la connais : c'est l'Anglaise . Tant pis . Toute Anglaise , et , par consequent , toute begueule qu'elle soit - elle fera mon affaire , ou je saurai pourquoi . "_[1553-he] Then , with a certain stern politeness [I]_0-i suppose [he]_1553-he thought [I]_0-i had not caught the drift of [his]_1553-he previous uncivil mutterings , and in a jargon the most execrable that ever was heard , " Meess - - , play [you]_0-i must : [I]_1553-he am planted there . "_[1553-he] " What can [I]_0-i do for [you]_0-i , [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i inquired : for [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} it was , and in a state of no little excitement . " Play [you]_0-i must . [I]_{196-m. paul} will not have [you]_0-i shrink , or frown , or make the prude . [I]_{196-m. paul} read [your]_0-i skull that night [you]_0-i came ; [I]_{196-m. paul} see [[your]_0-i moyens]_{5288-your moyens} : play [you]_0-i can ; play [you]_0-i must . "_{[196-m. paul]} " But how , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ? What do [you]_{196-m. paul} mean ? "_[1553-he] " There is no time to be lost , "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} went on , now speaking in French ; " and let [us]_5289-us thrust to the wall all reluctance , all excuses , all minauderies . [You]_0-i must take a part . "_{[196-m. paul]} " In the vaudeville ? "_[1553-he] " In the vaudeville . [You]_{196-m. paul} have said it . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i gasped , horror - struck . What did [the little man]_{1008-the little man} mean ? " Listen ! "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} said . " The case shall be stated , and [you]_0-i shall then answer [me]_{196-m. paul} Yes , or No ; and according to [your]_0-i answer shall [I]_{196-m. paul} ever after estimate [you]_0-i . "_{[196-m. paul]} The scarce - suppressed impetus of a most irritable nature glowed in [his]_{196-m. paul} cheek , fed with sharp shafts [his]_{196-m. paul} glances , a nature - the injudicious , [the mawkish]_{1555-the mawkish} , the hesitating , [the sullen]_{1556-the sullen} , [the affected]_{1557-the affected} , above all , the unyielding , might quickly render violent and implacable . Silence and attention was the best balm to apply : [I]_0-i listened . " The whole matter is going to fail , "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} began . " [Louise Vanderkelkov]_{263-louise vanderkelkov} has fallen ill - at least so [[her]_{263-louise vanderkelkov} ridiculous mother]_{5290-her ridiculous mother} asserts ; for [my]_{196-m. paul} part , [I]_{196-m. paul} feel sure [she]_{263-louise vanderkelkov} might play if [she]_{263-louise vanderkelkov} would : it is only good - will that lacks . [She]_{263-louise vanderkelkov} was charged with a role , as [you]_0-i know , or do not know - it is equal : without that role the play is stopped . There are now but a few hours in which to learn it : [not a girl in [this school]_{4877-this school}]_{5291-not a girl in this school} would hear reason , and accept the task . [Forsooth]_264-forsooth , it is not an interesting , not an amiable , part ; [their]_264-forsooth vile amour - propre - that base quality of which [women]_4398-women have so much - would revolt from it . [Englishwomen]_{1114-englishwomen} are either the best or the worst of [their]_{1114-englishwomen} sex . Dieu sait que je les deteste comme la peste , ordinairement "_{[196-m. paul]} this between [his]_{196-m. paul} recreant teeth . " [I]_{196-m. paul} apply to [an Englishwoman]_{530-an englishwoman} to rescue [me]_{196-m. paul} . What is [her]_{530-an englishwoman} answer - Yes , or No ? "_{[196-m. paul]} A thousand objections rushed into [my]_0-i mind . The foreign language , the limited time , the public display ... Inclination recoiled , [Ability]_265-ability faltered , Self - respect that " vile quality "_{[265-ability]} trembled . " Non , non , non ! "_{[196-m. paul]} said all these ; but looking up at [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , and seeing in [his]_{196-m. paul} vexed , fiery , and searching eye , a sort of appeal behind all its menace , [my]_0-i lips dropped the word " oui "_{[196-m. paul]} . For a moment [his]_{196-m. paul} rigid countenance relaxed with a quiver of content : quickly bent up again , however , [he]_{196-m. paul} went on , - " Vite a l'ouvrage ! Here is the book ; here is [your]_0-i role : read . "_{[196-m. paul]} And [I]_0-i read . [He]_{196-m. paul} did not commend ; at some passages [he]_{196-m. paul} scowled and stamped . [He]_{196-m. paul} gave [me]_0-i a lesson : [I]_0-i diligently imitated . It was a disagreeable part - [a man]_{823-a man} 's - [an empty - headed fop 's]_{1559-an empty - headed fop 's} . [One]_607-one could put into it neither heart nor soul : [I]_0-i hated it . The play - a mere trifle - ran chiefly on the efforts of [a brace of [rivals]_1562-rivals]_{1561-a brace of rivals} to gain the hand of [a fair coquette]_{1563-a fair coquette} . [One lover]_{1564-one lover} was called the " [Ours]_5296-ours , "_{[1564-one lover]} [a good and gallant but unpolished man , a sort of diamond in the rough]_{1565-a good and gallant but unpolished man , a sort of diamond in the rough} ; the other was a butterfly , [a talker]_{1566-a talker} , and [a traitor]_{1567-a traitor} : and [I]_0-i was to be the butterfly , [talker]_1568-talker , and [traitor]_1569-traitor . [I]_0-i did [my]_0-i best - which was bad , [I]_0-i know : it provoked [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; [he]_{196-m. paul} fumed . Putting both - hands to the work , [I]_0-i endeavoured to do better than [my]_0-i best ; [I]_0-i presume [he]_{196-m. paul} gave [me]_0-i credit for good intentions ; [he]_{196-m. paul} professed to be partially content . " Ca ira ! "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} cried ; and as voices began sounding from [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , and white dresses fluttering among the trees , [he]_{196-m. paul} added : " [You]_0-i must withdraw : [you]_0-i must be alone to learn this . Come with [me]_{196-m. paul} . "_{[196-m. paul]} Without being allowed time or power to deliberate , [I]_0-i found [myself]_0-i in the same breath convoyed along as in a species of whirlwind , [up- stairs]_{1571-up- stairs} , up [two pair of stairs]_{1572-two pair of stairs} , nay , actually up three for [this fiery little man]_{1573-this fiery little man} seemed as by instinct to know [his]_{1573-this fiery little man} way everywhere ; to [the solitary and lofty attic]_{1574-the solitary and lofty attic} was [I]_0-i borne , put in and locked in , the key being , in the door , and that key [he]_{1573-this fiery little man} took with [him]_{1573-this fiery little man} and vanished . [The attic]_{1575-the attic} was [no pleasant place]_{1576-no pleasant place} : [I]_0-i believe [he]_{1573-this fiery little man} did not know how unpleasant it was , or [he]_{1573-this fiery little man} never would have locked [me]_0-i in with so little ceremony . In this summer weather , it was hot as [Africa]_56-africa ; as in winter , it was always cold as [Greenland]_57-greenland . Boxes and lumber filled [it]_{1575-the attic} ; old dresses draped [its]_{1575-the attic} unstained wall - cobwebs [its]_{1575-the attic} unswept ceiling . Well was [it]_{1575-the attic} known to be tenanted by rats , by black beetles , and by cockroaches - nay , rumour affirmed that [the ghostly Nun of [the garden]_{1165-the garden}]_{1577-the ghostly nun of the garden} had once been seen [here]_4212-here . A partial darkness obscured one end , across which , as for deeper mystery , an old russet curtain was drawn , by way of screen to a sombre band of winter cloaks , pendent each from its pin , like [a malefactor from [his]_{1573-this fiery little man} gibbet]_{1580-a malefactor from his gibbet} . From amongst these cloaks , and behind that curtain , [the Nun]_{1581-the nun} was said to issue . [I]_0-i did not believe this , nor was [I]_0-i troubled by apprehension thereof ; but [I]_0-i saw a very dark and large rat , with a long tail , come gliding out from that squalid alcove ; and , moreover , [my]_0-i eye fell on many a black - beetle , dotting the floor . These objects discomposed [me]_0-i more , perhaps , than it would be wise to say , as also did the dust , lumber , and stifling heat of [the place]_{5129-the place} . The last inconvenience would soon have become intolerable , had [I]_0-i not found means to open and prop up the skylight , thus admitting some freshness . Underneath this aperture [I]_0-i pushed a large empty chest , and having mounted upon it a smaller box , and wiped from both the dust , [I]_0-i gathered [my]_0-i dress [my]_0-i best , [the reader]_{759-the reader} must remember , and therefore a legitimate object of care fastidiously around [me]_0-i , ascended this species of extempore throne , and being seated , commenced the acquisition of [my]_0-i task ; while [I]_0-i learned , not forgetting to keep a sharp look - out on the black - beetles and cockroaches , of which , more even , [I]_0-i believe , than of the rats , [I]_0-i sat in mortal dread . [My]_0-i impression at first was that [I]_0-i had undertaken what it really was impossible to perform , and [I]_0-i simply resolved to do [my]_0-i best and be resigned to fail . [I]_0-i soon found , however , that one part in so short a piece was not more than memory could master at a few hours ' notice . [I]_0-i learned and learned on , first in a whisper , and then aloud . Perfectly secure from [human audience]_{1584-human audience} , [I]_0-i acted [my]_0-i part before the garret - vermin . Entering into its emptiness , frivolity , and falsehood , with a spirit inspired by scorn and impatience , [I]_0-i took [my]_0-i revenge on this " fat , "_{[1584-human audience]} by making [him]_1585-him as fatuitous as [I]_0-i possibly could . In this exercise the afternoon passed : day began to glide into evening ; and [I]_0-i , who had eaten nothing since breakfast , grew excessively hungry . Now [I]_0-i thought of the collation , which doubtless [they]_1586-they were just then devouring in [the garden far below]_{1587-the garden far below} . [I]_0-i had seen in [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} a basketful of small pates a la creme , than which nothing in the whole range of cookery seemed to [me]_0-i better . A pate , or a square of cake , it seemed to [me]_0-i would come very apropos ; and as [my]_0-i relish for those dainties increased , it began to appear somewhat hard that [I]_0-i should pass [my]_0-i holiday , fasting and in [prison]_1589-prison . Remote as was [the attic from [the street]_{623-the street} - door and [vestibule]_{1592-vestibule}]_{1590-the attic from the street - door and vestibule} , yet the ever - tinkling bell was faintly audible here ; and also the ceaseless roll of wheels , on the tormented pavement . [I]_0-i knew that [the house]_{518-the house} and [garden]_1594-garden were thronged , and that all was gay and glad below ; here it began to grow dusk : the beetles were fading from [my]_0-i sight ; [I]_0-i trembled lest [they]_1586-they should steal on [me]_0-i a march , mount [my]_0-i throne unseen , and , unsuspected , invade [my]_0-i skirts . Impatient and apprehensive , [I]_0-i recommenced the rehearsal of [my]_0-i part merely to kill time . Just as [I]_0-i was concluding , the long - delayed rattle of the key in the lock came to [my]_0-i ear - no unwelcome sound . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} [I]_0-i could just see through the dusk that it was [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , for light enough still lingered to show the velvet blackness of [his]_{196-m. paul} close - shorn head , and the sallow ivory of [his]_{196-m. paul} brow looked in . " [Brava]_243-brava ! "_{[196-m. paul]} cried [he]_{196-m. paul} , holding the door open and remaining at the threshold . " J'ai tout entendu . C'est assez bien . Encore ! "_{[196-m. paul]} A moment [I]_0-i hesitated . " Encore ! "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} sternly . " Et point de grimaces ! A bas la timidite ! "_{[196-m. paul]} Again [I]_0-i went through the part , but not half so well as [I]_0-i had spoken it alone . " Enfin , elle sait , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} , half dissatisfied , " and [one]_607-one can not be fastidious or exacting under the circumstances . "_{[196-m. paul]} Then [he]_{196-m. paul} added , " [You]_0-i may yet have twenty minutes for preparation : au revoir ! "_{[196-m. paul]} And [he]_{196-m. paul} was going . " [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i called out , taking courage . " Eh bien ! Qu'est - ce que c'est , Mademoiselle ? "_[0-i] " J'ai bien faim . "_{[196-m. paul]} " Comment , vous avez faim ! Et la collation ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i know nothing about it . [I]_0-i have not seen it , shut up here . "_[0-i] " Ah ! C'est vrai , "_{[196-m. paul]} cried [he]_{196-m. paul} . In a moment [my]_0-i throne was abdicated , [the attic]_{1575-the attic} evacuated ; an inverse repetition of the impetus which had brought [me]_0-i up into [the attic]_{1575-the attic} , instantly took [me]_0-i down - down - down to [the very kitchen]_{1597-the very kitchen} . [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i should have gone to [the cellar]_{1598-the cellar} . [The cook]_{4341-the cook} was imperatively ordered to produce food , and [I]_0-i , as imperatively , was commanded to eat . To [my]_0-i great joy this food was limited to coffee and cake : [I]_0-i had feared wine and sweets , which [I]_0-i did not like . How [he]_{196-m. paul} guessed that [I]_0-i should like a petit pate a la creme [I]_0-i can not tell ; but [he]_{196-m. paul} went out and procured [me]_0-i one from some quarter . With considerable willingness [I]_0-i ate and drank , keeping the petit pate till the last , as a bonne bouche . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} superintended [my]_0-i repast , and almost forced upon [me]_0-i more than [I]_0-i could swallow . " A la bonne heure , "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} cried , when [I]_0-i signified that [I]_0-i really could take no more , and , with uplifted hands , implored to be spared the additional roll on which [he]_{196-m. paul} had just spread butter . " [You]_0-i will set [me]_0-i down as [a species of tyrant]_{5299-a species of tyrant} and [Bluebeard]_{266-bluebeard} , starving women in a garret ; whereas , after all , [I]_0-i am no such thing . Now , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , do [you]_{261-mademoiselle} feel courage and strength to appear ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i did ; though , in truth , [I]_0-i was perfectly confused , and could hardly tell how [I]_0-i felt : but [this little man]_{1600-this little man} was of the order of [beings who must not be opposed]_{1601-beings who must not be opposed} , unless [you]_1602-you possessed an all - dominant force sufficient to crush [him]_{1600-this little man} at once . " Come then , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} , offering [his]_{196-m. paul} hand . [I]_0-i gave [him]_{196-m. paul} [mine]_0-i , and [he]_{196-m. paul} set off with a rapid walk , which obliged [me]_0-i to run at [his]_{196-m. paul} side in order to keep pace . In [the carre]_{4820-the carre} [he]_{196-m. paul} stopped a moment : [it]_{4820-the carre} was lit with large lamps ; the wide doors of [the classes]_{4828-the classes} were open , and so were [the equally wide garden]_{1605-the equally wide garden} - doors ; orange - trees in tubs , and tall flowers in pots , ornamented these portals on each side ; groups of [ladies]_622-ladies and [gentlemen in evening - dress]_{1607-gentlemen in evening - dress} stood and walked amongst the flowers . Within , the long vista of [the school - rooms]_{1608-the school - rooms} presented a thronging , undulating , murmuring , waving , streaming multitude , all rose , and blue , and half translucent white . There were lustres burning overhead ; far off there was [a stage]_{1609-a stage} , a solemn green curtain , a row of footlights . " Nest - ce pas que c'est beau ? "_{[546-my companion]} demanded [[my]_0-i companion]_{546-my companion} . [I]_0-i should have said it was , but [my]_0-i heart got up into [my]_0-i throat . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} discovered this , and gave [me]_0-i a side - scowl and a little shake for [my]_0-i pains . " [I]_0-i will do [my]_0-i best , but [I]_0-i wish it was over , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i ; then [I]_0-i asked : " Are [we]_1611-we to walk through [that crowd]_{5300-that crowd} ? "_[0-i] " By no means : [I]_{196-m. paul} manage matters better : [we]_1611-we pass through [the garden]_{1165-the garden} - here . "_{[196-m. paul]} In an instant [we]_1611-we were out of doors : the cool , calm night revived [me]_0-i somewhat . It was moonless , but the reflex from the many glowing windows lit [the court]_{1612-the court} brightly , and even [the alleys]_{4907-the alleys} - dimly . [Heaven]_1614-heaven was cloudless , and grand with the quiver of [its]_1614-heaven living fires . How soft are the nights of [the Continent]_{18-the continent} ! How bland , balmy , safe ! No sea - fog ; no chilling damp : mistless as noon , and fresh as morning . Having crossed [court]_1615-court and [garden]_1594-garden , [we]_1611-we reached the glass door of [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} . [It]_1618-it stood open , like all other doors that night ; [we]_1611-we passed , and then [I]_0-i was ushered into a small cabinet , dividing [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} from [the grand salle]_{1620-the grand salle} . This cabinet dazzled [me]_0-i , it was so full of light : it deafened [me]_0-i , it was clamorous with voices : it stifled [me]_0-i , it was so hot , choking , thronged . " De l'ordre ! Du silence ! "_{[196-m. paul]} cried [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . " Is this chaos ? "_{[196-m. paul]} , [he]_{196-m. paul} demanded ; and there was a hush . With a dozen words , and as many gestures , [he]_{196-m. paul} turned out half [the persons present]_{1621-the persons present} , and obliged [the remnant]_{1622-the remnant} to fall into rank . [Those left]_{1623-those left} were all in costume : [they]_{1623-those left} were [the performers]_{1624-the performers} , and this was [the green - room]_{1625-the green - room} . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} introduced [me]_0-i . [All]_4382-all stared and some tittered . It was a surprise : [they]_4382-all had not expected [the Englishwoman]_{1627-the englishwoman} would play in a vaudeville . [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , beautifully dressed for [her]_179-ginevra part , and looking fascinatingly pretty , turned on [me]_0-i a pair of eyes as round as beads . In the highest spirit , unperturbed by fear or bashfulness , delighted indeed at the thought of shining off before [hundreds]_{1628-hundreds} - [my]_0-i entrance seemed to transfix [her]_179-ginevra with amazement in the midst of [her]_179-ginevra joy . [She]_179-ginevra would have exclaimed , but [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} held [her]_179-ginevra and all the rest in check . Having surveyed and criticized [the whole troop]_{1629-the whole troop} , [he]_{196-m. paul} turned to [me]_0-i . " [You]_0-i , too , must be dressed for [your]_0-i part . "_{[196-m. paul]} " Dressed - dressed like [a man]_{823-a man} ! "_{[261-mademoiselle]} exclaimed [Zelie St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , darting forwards ; adding with officiousness , " [I]_{261-mademoiselle} will dress [her]_179-ginevra [myself]_{261-mademoiselle} . "_{[261-mademoiselle]} To be dressed like [a man]_{823-a man} did not please , and would not suit [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had consented to take [a man]_{823-a man} 's name and part ; as to [his]_{823-a man} dress - halte la ! No . [I]_0-i would keep [my]_0-i own dress , come what might . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} might storm , might rage : [I]_0-i would keep [my]_0-i own dress . [I]_0-i said so , with a voice as resolute in intent , as it was low , and perhaps unsteady in utterance . [He]_{823-a man} did not immediately storm or rage , as [I]_0-i fully thought [he]_{823-a man} would [he]_{823-a man} stood silent . But [Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} again interposed . " [She]_{261-mademoiselle} will make a capital petit - maitre . Here are the garments , all - all complete : somewhat too large , but - [I]_{261-mademoiselle} will arrange all that . Come , chere amie - [belle Anglaise]_189-anglaise ! "_{[261-mademoiselle]} And [she]_{261-mademoiselle} sneered , for [I]_0-i was not " belle . "_{[261-mademoiselle]} [She]_{261-mademoiselle} seized [my]_0-i hand , [she]_{261-mademoiselle} was drawing [me]_0-i away . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} stood impassable - neutral . " [You]_0-i must not resist , "_{[196-m. paul]} pursued [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} - for resist [I]_0-i did . " [You]_0-i will spoil all , destroy the mirth of the piece , the enjoyment of [the company]_{5303-the company} , sacrifice everything to [your]_0-i amour - propre . This would be too bad - [monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} will never permit this ? "_{[261-mademoiselle]} [She]_{261-mademoiselle} sought [his]_{823-a man} eye . [I]_0-i watched , likewise , for a glance . [He]_{823-a man} gave [her]_{261-mademoiselle} one , and then [he]_{823-a man} gave [me]_0-i one . " Stop ! "_{[823-a man]} [he]_{823-a man} said slowly , arresting [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , who continued [her]_{261-mademoiselle} efforts to drag [me]_0-i after [her]_{261-mademoiselle} . [Everybody]_{4957-everybody} awaited the decision . [He]_{823-a man} was not angry , not irritated ; [I]_0-i perceived that , and took heart . " [You]_0-i do not like these clothes ? "_{[823-a man]} [he]_{823-a man} asked , pointing to the masculine vestments . " [I]_{823-a man} do n't object to some of them , but [I]_{823-a man} wo n't have them all . "_{[823-a man]} " How must it be , then ? How accept [a man]_{823-a man} 's part , and go on the stage dressed as [a woman]_{4363-a woman} ? This is an amateur affair , it is true - a vaudeville de pensionnat ; certain modifications [I]_{1633-monsieur} might sanction , yet something [you]_0-i must have to announce [you]_0-i as of the nobler sex . "_{[1633-monsieur]} " And [I]_{1633-monsieur} will , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} ; but it must be arranged in [my]_{1633-monsieur} own way : [nobody]_4256-nobody must meddle ; the things must not be forced upon [me]_{1633-monsieur} . Just let [me]_{1633-monsieur} dress [myself]_{1633-monsieur} . "_{[1633-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{1633-monsieur} , without another word , took the costume from [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , gave it to [me]_0-i , and permitted [me]_0-i to pass into [the dressing - room]_{1634-the dressing - room} . Once alone , [I]_0-i grew calm , and collectedly went to work . Retaining [[my]_0-i woman]_{1635-my woman} 's garb without the slightest retrenchment , [I]_0-i merely assumed , in addition , a little vest , a collar , and cravat , and a paletot of small dimensions ; the whole being the costume of [a brother of one of [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils}]_{1636-a brother of one of the pupils} . Having loosened [my]_0-i hair out of its braids , made up the long back - hair close , and brushed the front hair to one side , [I]_0-i took [my]_0-i hat and gloves in [my]_0-i hand and came out . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was waiting , and so were [the others]_{5058-the others} . [He]_{196-m. paul} looked at [me]_0-i . " That may pass in a pensionnat , "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} pronounced . Then added , not unkindly , " Courage , [mon ami]_{5309-mon ami} ! Un peu de sangfroid - un peu d'aplomb , [M. Lucien]_{267-m. lucien} , et tout ira bien . "_{[261-mademoiselle]} [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} sneered again , in [her]_{261-mademoiselle} cold snaky manner . [I]_0-i was irritable , because excited , and [I]_0-i could not help turning upon [her]_{261-mademoiselle} and saying , that if [she]_{261-mademoiselle} were not [a lady]_{1639-a lady} and [I]_0-i [a gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} , [I]_0-i should feel disposed to call [her]_{261-mademoiselle} out . " After the play , after the play , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . " [I]_{196-m. paul} will then divide [my]_{196-m. paul} pair of pistols between [you]_0-i , and [we]_1641-us will settle the dispute according to form : it will only be the old quarrel of [France]_15-france and [England]_19-england . "_{[196-m. paul]} But now the moment approached for the performance to commence . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , setting [us]_1641-us before [him]_{196-m. paul} , harangued [us]_1641-us briefly , like a general addressing [soldiers about to charge]_{1642-soldiers about to charge} . [I]_0-i do n't know what [he]_{196-m. paul} said , except that [he]_{196-m. paul} recommended each to penetrate [herself]_{261-mademoiselle} with a sense of [her]_{261-mademoiselle} personal insignificance . God knows [I]_0-i thought this advice superfluous for [some of [us]_1641-us]_{1643-some of us} . A bell tinkled . [I]_0-i and [two more]_{1644-two more} were ushered on to [the stage]_{1645-the stage} . The bell tinkled again . [I]_0-i had to speak the very first words . " Do not look at [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} , nor think of it , "_{[196-m. paul]} whispered [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} in [my]_0-i ear . " Imagine [yourself]_0-i in [the garret]_{5311-the garret} , acting to the rats . "_{[196-m. paul]} [He]_{196-m. paul} vanished . The curtain drew up - shrivelled to the ceiling : the bright lights , [the long room]_{1646-the long room} , [the gay throng]_{1647-the gay throng} , burst upon [us]_1641-us . [I]_0-i thought of the black - beetles , the old boxes , the worm - eaten bureau . [I]_0-i said [my]_0-i say badly ; but [I]_0-i said it . That first speech was the difficulty ; it revealed to [me]_0-i this fact , that it was not the crowd [I]_0-i feared so much as [my]_0-i own voice . [Foreigners]_{4583-foreigners} and [strangers]_{870-strangers} , [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} were nothing to [me]_0-i . Nor did [I]_0-i think of [them]_{5310-the crowd} . When [my]_0-i tongue once got free , and [my]_0-i voice took its true pitch , and found its natural tone , [I]_0-i thought of nothing but the personage [I]_0-i represented - and of [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , who was listening , watching , prompting in the side - scenes . By - and - by , feeling the right power come - the spring demanded gush and rise inwardly - [I]_0-i became sufficiently composed to notice [[my]_0-i fellow- actors]_{1651-my fellow- actors} . [Some of [them]_{1651-my fellow- actors}]_{4841-some of them} played very well ; especially [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , who had to coquette between [two suitors]_{1653-two suitors} , and managed admirably : in fact [she]_179-ginevra was in [her]_179-ginevra element . [I]_0-i observed that [she]_179-ginevra once or twice threw a certain marked fondness and pointed partiality into [her]_179-ginevra manner towards [me]_0-i - the fop . With such emphasis and animation did [she]_179-ginevra favour [me]_0-i , such glances did [she]_179-ginevra dart out into the listening and applauding crowd , that to [me]_0-i - who knew [her]_179-ginevra - it presently became evident [she]_179-ginevra was acting at [some one]_{1654-some one} ; and [I]_0-i followed [her]_179-ginevra eye , [her]_179-ginevra smile , [her]_179-ginevra gesture , and ere long discovered that [she]_179-ginevra had at least singled out a handsome and distinguished aim for [her]_179-ginevra shafts ; full in the path of those arrows - taller than [other spectators]_{1655-other spectators} , and therefore more sure to receive [them]_1656-them - stood , in attitude quiet but intent , a well - known form - that of [Dr. John]_135-graham . The spectacle seemed somehow suggestive . There was language in [Dr. John]_135-graham 's look , though [I]_0-i can not tell what [he]_135-graham said ; it animated [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i drew out of it a history ; [I]_0-i put [my]_0-i idea into the part [I]_0-i per formed ; [I]_0-i threw it into [my]_0-i wooing of [Ginevra]_179-ginevra . In the " [Ours]_5312-ours , "_{[1657-sincere lover]} or [sincere lover]_{1657-sincere lover} , [I]_0-i saw [Dr. John]_135-graham . Did [I]_0-i pity [him]_135-graham , as erst ? No , [I]_0-i hardened [my]_0-i heart , rivalled and out - rivalled [him]_135-graham . [I]_0-i knew [myself]_0-i but a fop , but where [he]_135-graham was outcast [I]_0-i could please . Now [I]_0-i know acted as if wishful and resolute to win and conquer . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra seconded [me]_0-i ; between [us]_1658-us [we]_1658-us half- changed the nature of the role , gilding it from top to toe . Between the acts [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , told [us]_1658-us [he]_{196-m. paul} knew not what possessed [us]_1658-us , and half expostulated . " C'est peut - etre plus beau que votre modele , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} , " mais ce n'est pas juste . "_{[196-m. paul]} [I]_0-i know not what possessed [me]_0-i either ; but somehow , [my]_0-i longing was to eclipse the " Ours , "_[0-i] [i.e.]_0-i , [Dr. John]_135-graham . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra was tender ; how could [I]_0-i be otherwise than chivalric ? Retaining the letter , [I]_0-i recklessly altered the spirit of the role . Without heart , without interest , [I]_0-i could not play it at all . It must be played - in went the yearned - for seasoning - thus favoured , [I]_0-i played it with relish . What [I]_0-i felt that night , and what [I]_0-i did , [I]_0-i no more expected to feel and do , than to be lifted in a trance to the seventh heaven . Cold , reluctant , apprehensive , [I]_0-i had accepted a part to please another : ere long , warming , becoming interested , taking courage , [I]_0-i acted to please [myself]_0-i . Yet the next day , when [I]_0-i thought it over , [I]_0-i quite disapproved of these amateur performances ; and though glad that [I]_0-i had obliged [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , and tried [my]_0-i own strength for once , [I]_0-i took a firm resolution , never to be drawn into a similar affair . A keen relish for dramatic expression had revealed itself as part of [my]_0-i nature ; to cherish and exercise this new - found faculty might gift [me]_0-i with a world of delight , but it would not do for [a mere looker - on at life]_{1659-a mere looker - on at life} : the strength and longing must be put by ; and [I]_0-i put them by , and fastened them in with the lock of a resolution which neither Time nor Temptation has since picked . No sooner was the play over , and well over , than the choleric and [arbitrary M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} underwent a metamorphosis . [His]_1660-his hour of managerial responsibility past , [he]_1660-his at once laid aside [his]_1660-his magisterial austerity ; in a moment [he]_1660-his stood amongst [us]_1661-us , vivacious , kind , and social , shook hands with [us]_1661-us all round , thanked [us]_1661-us separately , and announced [his]_1660-his determination that each of [us]_1661-us should in turn be [[his]_1660-his partner]_{1662-his partner} in the coming ball . On [his]_1660-his claiming [my]_0-i promise , [I]_0-i told [him]_1660-his [I]_0-i did not dance . " For once [I]_0-i must , "_[0-i] was the answer ; and if [I]_0-i had not slipped aside and kept out of [his]_1660-his way , [he]_1660-his would have compelled [me]_0-i to this second performance . But [I]_0-i had acted enough for one evening ; it was time [I]_0-i retired into [myself]_0-i and [my]_0-i ordinary life . [My]_0-i dun - coloured dress did well enough under a paletot on the stage , but would not suit a waltz or a quadrille . Withdrawing to a quiet nook , whence unobserved [I]_0-i could observe - the ball , its splendours and its pleasures , passed before [me]_0-i as a spectacle . Again [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra was [the belle]_{1663-the belle} , the fairest and the gayest present ; [she]_179-ginevra was selected to open the ball : very lovely [she]_179-ginevra looked , very gracefully [she]_179-ginevra danced , very joyously [she]_179-ginevra smiled . Such scenes were [her]_179-ginevra triumphs - [she]_179-ginevra was [the child of pleasure]_{1664-the child of pleasure} . Work or suffering found [her]_179-ginevra listless and dejected , powerless and repining ; but gaiety expanded [her]_179-ginevra butterfly 's wings , lit up their gold - dust and bright spots , made [her]_179-ginevra flash like a gem , and flush like a flower . At all ordinary diet and plain beverage [she]_179-ginevra would pout ; but [she]_179-ginevra fed on creams and ices like a humming - bird on honey - paste : sweet wine was [her]_179-ginevra element , and sweet cake [her]_179-ginevra daily bread . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra lived [her]_179-ginevra full life in [a ball - room]_{1665-a ball - room} ; elsewhere [she]_179-ginevra drooped dispirited . Think not , [reader]_4604-reader , that [she]_179-ginevra thus bloomed and sparkled for the mere sake of [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , [[her]_179-ginevra partner]_{1667-her partner} , or that [she]_179-ginevra lavished [her]_179-ginevra best graces that night for the edification of [[her]_179-ginevra companions]_{1668-her companions} only , or for that of [the parents]_{1316-the parents} and grand - parents , who filled the carre , and lined [the ball - room]_{1670-the ball - room} ; under circumstances so insipid and limited , with motives so chilly and vapid , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra would scarce have deigned to walk one quadrille , and weariness and fretfulness would have replaced animation and good - humour , but [she]_179-ginevra knew of a leaven in the otherwise heavy festal mass which lighted the whole ; [she]_179-ginevra tasted a condiment which gave it zest ; [she]_179-ginevra perceived reasons justifying the display of [her]_179-ginevra choicest attractions . In [the ball - room]_{1670-the ball - room} , indeed , [not a single male spectator]_{1672-not a single male spectator} was to be seen who was not married and [a father]_{1673-a father} - M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} excepted - [that gentleman]_{5254-that gentleman} , too , being the sole creature of [his]_{5254-that gentleman} sex permitted to lead out [a pupil to the dance]_{1675-a pupil to the dance} ; and this exceptional part was allowed [him]_{5254-that gentleman} , partly as a matter of old - established custom for [he]_{5254-that gentleman} was [a kinsman of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's]_{1676-a kinsman of madame beck 's} , and high in [her]_190-madame confidence , partly because [he]_{5254-that gentleman} would always have [his]_{5254-that gentleman} own way and do as [he]_{5254-that gentleman} pleased , and partly because - wilful , passionate , partial , as [he]_{5254-that gentleman} might be - [he]_{5254-that gentleman} was the soul of honour , and might be trusted with [a regiment of the fairest and purest]_{1677-a regiment of the fairest and purest} ; in perfect security that under [his]_{5254-that gentleman} leadership [they]_{1677-a regiment of the fairest and purest} would come to no harm . [Many of [the girls]_{4757-the girls}]_{1678-many of the girls} - it may be noted in parenthesis - were not pure - minded at all , very much otherwise ; but [they]_{1678-many of the girls} no more dare betray [their]_{1678-many of the girls} natural coarseness in [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's presence , than [they]_{1678-many of the girls} dare tread purposely on [his]_{5254-that gentleman} corns , laugh in [his]_{5254-that gentleman} face during a stormy apostrophe , or speak above [their]_{1678-many of the girls} breath while some crisis of irritability was covering [his]_{5254-that gentleman} human visage with the mask of an intelligent tiger . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , then , might dance with whom [he]_{5254-that gentleman} would - and woe be to the interference which put [him]_{5254-that gentleman} out of step . [Others there]_{1680-others there} were admitted as [spectators]_{1681-spectators} - with seeming reluctance , through prayers , by influence , under restriction , by special and difficult exercise of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's gracious good - nature , and whom [she]_190-madame all the evening - with [her]_190-madame own personal surveillance - kept far aloof at the remotest , drearest , coldest , darkest side of [the carre]_{4820-the carre} - [a small , forlorn band of " jeunes gens]_{5313-a small , forlorn band of " jeunes gens} ; "_[190-madame] these being [all of [the best families]_{1684-the best families} , [grown - up sons of [mothers present]_{1686-mothers present} , and whose sisters were pupils in [the school]_{4856-the school}]_{1685-grown - up sons of mothers present , and whose sisters were pupils in the school}]_{1683-all of the best families , grown - up sons of mothers present , and whose sisters were pupils in the school} . That whole evening was [Madame]_190-madame on duty beside [these " jeunes gens]_{5314-these " jeunes gens} "_[190-madame] - attentive to [them]_1688-them as [a mother]_{4301-a mother} , but strict with [them]_1688-them as a dragon . There was a sort of cordon stretched before [them]_1688-them , which [they]_1688-them wearied [her]_190-madame with prayers to be permitted to pass , and just to revive [themselves]_1688-them by one dance with [that " belle blonde , "_{[5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune]} or that " jolie brune]_{5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune} , "_{[5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune]} or " cette jeune fille magnifique aux cheveux noirs comme le jais . "_{[5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune]} " Taisez - vous ! "_[190-madame] [Madame]_190-madame would reply , heroically and inexorably . " Vous ne passerez pas a moins que ce ne soit sur mon cadavre , et vous ne danserez qu'avec la nonnette du jardin "_[190-madame] alluding to the legend . And [she]_190-madame majestically walked to and fro along [their]_1688-them disconsolate and impatient line , like [a little Bonaparte]_{1690-a little bonaparte} in a mouse - coloured silk gown . [Madame]_190-madame knew something of [the world]_{811-the world} ; [Madame]_190-madame knew much of human nature . [I]_0-i do n't think that [another directress in [Villette]_3-villette]_{1692-another directress in villette} would have dared to admit a " jeune homme "_{[1692-another directress in villette]} within [her]_{1692-another directress in villette} walls ; but [Madame]_190-madame knew that by granting such admission , on an occasion like the present , a bold stroke might be struck , and a great point gained . In the first place , [the parents]_{1316-the parents} were made [accomplices to the deed]_{1694-accomplices to the deed} , for it was only through [their]_{1316-the parents} mediation it was brought about . Secondly : the admission of these rattlesnakes , so fascinating and so dangerous , served to draw out [Madame]_190-madame precisely in [her]_190-madame strongest character - that of [a first - rate surveillante]_{1695-a first - rate surveillante} . Thirdly : [their]_1688-them presence furnished a most piquant ingredient to the entertainment : [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} knew it , and saw it , and the view of such golden apples shining afar off , animated [them]_{1102-the pupils} with a spirit no other circumstance could have kindled . [The children]_{1111-the children} 's pleasure spread to [the parents]_{1316-the parents} ; life and mirth circulated quickly round [the ball - room]_{1670-the ball - room} ; [the " jeunes gens]_{5316-the " jeunes gens} "_[1688-them] [themselves]_1688-them , though restrained , were amused : for [Madame]_190-madame never permitted [them]_1688-them to feel dull - and thus [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's fete annually ensured a success unknown to the fete of [any other directress in [the land]_{1701-the land}]_{1700-any other directress in the land} . [I]_0-i observed that [Dr. John]_135-graham was at first permitted to walk at large through the classes : there was about [him]_135-graham a manly , responsible look , that redeemed [his]_135-graham youth , and half - expiated [his]_135-graham beauty ; but as soon as the ball began , [Madame]_190-madame ran up to [him]_135-graham . " Come , [Wolf]_268-wolf ; come , "_[190-madame] said [she]_190-madame , laughing : " [you]_268-wolf wear sheep 's clothing , but [you]_268-wolf must quit the fold notwithstanding . Come ; [I]_190-madame have a fine menagerie of twenty here in [the carre]_{4820-the carre} : let [me]_190-madame place [you]_268-wolf amongst [my]_190-madame collection . "_[190-madame] " But first suffer [me]_190-madame to have one dance with [one pupil of [my]_190-madame choice]_{5318-one pupil of my choice} . "_[190-madame] " Have [you]_268-wolf the face to ask such a thing ? It is madness : it is impiety . Sortez , sortez , au plus vite . "_[190-madame] [She]_190-madame drove [him]_135-graham before [her]_190-madame , and soon had [him]_135-graham enclosed within the cordon . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra being , [I]_0-i suppose , tired with dancing , sought [me]_0-i out in [my]_0-i retreat . [She]_179-ginevra threw [herself]_179-ginevra on the bench beside [me]_0-i , and a demonstration [I]_0-i could very well have dispensed with cast [her]_179-ginevra arms round [my]_0-i neck . " [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy ! [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy ! "_{[179-ginevra]} [she]_179-ginevra cried in a somewhat sobbing voice , half hysterical . " What in [the world]_{811-the world} is the matter ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i drily said . " How do [I]_179-ginevra look - how do [I]_179-ginevra look to - night ? "_{[179-ginevra]} [she]_179-ginevra demanded . " As usual , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i ; " preposterously vain . "_[0-i] " [Caustic creature]_{5320-caustic creature} ! [You]_0-i never have a kind word for [me]_1704-i ; but in spite of [you]_0-i , and [all other envious detractors]_{5321-all other envious detractors} , [I]_1704-i know [I]_1704-i am beautiful ; [I]_1704-i feel it , [I]_1704-i see it - for there is a great looking - glass in [the dressing - room]_{1634-the dressing - room} , where [I]_1704-i can view [my]_1704-i shape from head to foot . Will [you]_0-i go with [me]_1704-i now , and let [us]_1703-us two stand before it ? "_[1704-i] " [I]_0-i will , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra : [you]_0-i shall be humoured even to the top of [your]_0-i bent . "_[0-i] [The dressing - room]_{1634-the dressing - room} was very near , and [we]_1703-us stepped in . Putting [her]_1704-i arm through [mine]_1705-mine , [she]_1704-i drew [me]_0-i to the mirror . Without resistance remonstrance , or remark , [I]_0-i stood and let [her]_1704-i self - love have its feast and triumph : curious to see how much it could swallow - whether it was possible it could feed to satiety - whether any whisper of consideration for [others]_770-others could penetrate [her]_1704-i heart , and moderate its vainglorious exultation . Not at all . [She]_1704-i turned [me]_0-i and [herself]_1704-i round ; [she]_1704-i viewed [us]_1703-us both on all sides ; [she]_1704-i smiled , [she]_1704-i waved [her]_1704-i curls , [she]_1704-i retouched [her]_1704-i sash , [she]_1704-i spread [her]_1704-i dress , and finally , letting go [my]_0-i arm , and curtseying with mock respect , [she]_1704-i said : " [I]_1704-i would not be [you]_0-i for a kingdom . "_[1704-i] The remark was too naive to rouse anger ; [I]_0-i merely said : " Very good . "_[0-i] " And what would [you]_0-i give to be [ME]_1704-i ? "_[1704-i] [she]_1704-i inquired . " Not a bad sixpence - strange as it may sound , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i replied . " [You]_1704-i are but [a poor creature]_{4858-a poor creature} . "_[0-i] " [You]_1704-i do n't think so in [your]_1704-i heart . "_[1704-i] " No ; for in [my]_0-i heart [you]_1704-i have not the outline of a place : [I]_0-i only occasionally turn [you]_1704-i over in [my]_0-i brain . "_[0-i] " Well , but , "_[1704-i] said [she]_1704-i , in an expostulatory tone , " just listen to the difference of [our]_5324-our positions , and then see how happy am [I]_1704-i , and how miserable are [you]_0-i . "_[1704-i] " Go on ; [I]_0-i listen . "_[0-i] " In the first place : [I]_1704-i am [the daughter of [a gentleman of family]_{5326-a gentleman of family}]_{5325-the daughter of a gentleman of family} , and though [[my]_1704-i father]_{5327-my father} is not rich , [I]_1704-i have expectations from [an uncle]_{5328-an uncle} . Then , [I]_1704-i am just eighteen , the finest age possible . [I]_1704-i have had a continental education , and though [I]_1704-i ca n't spell , [I]_1704-i have abundant accomplishments . [I]_1704-i am pretty ; [you]_0-i ca n't deny that ; [I]_1704-i may have as many [admirers]_{5329-admirers} as [I]_1704-i choose . This very night [I]_1704-i have been breaking the hearts of [two gentlemen]_{5330-two gentlemen} , and it is the dying look [I]_1704-i had from one of [them]_{5330-two gentlemen} just now , which puts [me]_1704-i in such spirits . [I]_1704-i do so like to watch [them]_{5330-two gentlemen} turn red and pale , and scowl and dart fiery glances at [each other]_{4318-each other} , and languishing ones at [me]_1704-i . There is [me]_1704-i - happy [ME]_1704-i ; now for [you]_1707-you , [poor soul]_{5332-poor soul} ! "_[1704-i] [I]_0-i suppose [you]_1707-you are [[nobody]_4256-nobody 's daughter]_{1709-nobody 's daughter} , since [you]_1707-you took care of [little children]_{1710-little children} when [you]_1707-you first came to [Villette]_3-villette : [you]_1707-you have [no relations]_{1711-no relations} ; [you]_1707-you ca n't call [yourself]_1707-you young at twenty - three ; [you]_1707-you have no attractive accomplishments - no beauty . As to [admirers]_{5329-admirers} , [you]_1707-you hardly know what [they]_{5329-admirers} are ; [you]_1707-you ca n't even talk on the subject : [you]_1707-you sit dumb when [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} quote [their]_{5049-the other teachers} conquests . [I]_0-i believe [you]_1707-you never were in love , and never will be : [you]_1707-you do n't know the feeling , and so much the better , for though [you]_1707-you might have [your]_1707-you own heart broken , no living heart will [you]_1707-you ever break . Is n't it all true ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} A good deal of it is true as gospel , and shrewd besides . There must be good in [you]_1707-you , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , to speak so honestly ; that snake , [Zelie St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , could not utter what [you]_1707-you have uttered . Still , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , hapless as [I]_0-i am , according to [your]_1707-you showing , sixpence [I]_0-i would not give to purchase [you]_1707-you , body and soul . " "_[0-i] Just because [I]_0-i am not clever , and that is all [you]_1707-you think of . Nobody in [the world]_{811-the world} but [you]_1707-you cares for cleverness . " "_[1707-you] On the contrary , [I]_0-i consider [you]_1707-you are clever , in [your]_1707-you way - very smart indeed . But [you]_1707-you were talking of breaking hearts - that edifying amusement into the merits of which [I]_0-i do n't quite enter ; pray on whom does [your]_1707-you vanity lead [you]_1707-you to think [you]_1707-you have done execution to - night ? " [She]_1707-you approached [her]_1707-you lips to [my]_190-madame ear - "_[190-madame] [Isidore]_190-madame and [Alfred de Hamal]_230-alfred are both here ? " [she]_1707-you whispered . "_[1715-them] Oh ! [they]_1715-them are ? [I]_0-i should like to see [them]_1715-them . " "_[0-i] There 's [a dear creature]_{1716-a dear creature} ! [your]_1707-you curiosity is roused at last . Follow [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i will point [them]_1715-them out . " [She]_1707-you proudly led the way - "_[0-i] But [you]_1707-you can not see [them]_1715-them well from the classes , " said [she]_1707-you , turning , "_[1707-you] [Madame]_190-madame keeps [them]_1715-them too far off . Let [us]_1717-we cross [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , enter by [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} , and get close to [them]_1715-them behind : [we]_1717-we shall be scolded if [we]_1717-we are seen , but never mind . " For once , [I]_0-i did not mind . Through [the garden]_{1165-the garden} [we]_1717-we went - penetrated into [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} by [a quiet private entrance]_{5335-a quiet private entrance} , and approaching [the carre]_{4820-the carre} , yet keeping in [the corridor shade]_{5337-the corridor shade} , commanded a near view of [the band of "_[0-i] jeunes gens]_{5338-the band of " jeunes gens} . " [I]_0-i believe [I]_0-i could have picked out the conquering [de Hamal]_230-alfred even undirected . [He]_230-alfred was [a straight - nosed , very correct - featured little dandy]_{5339-a straight - nosed , very correct - featured little dandy} . [I]_0-i say [little dandy]_{5340-little dandy} , though [he]_230-alfred was not beneath the middle standard in stature ; but [his]_230-alfred lineaments were small , and so were [his]_230-alfred hands and feet ; and [he]_230-alfred was pretty and smooth , and as trim as [a doll]_{5341-a doll} : so nicely dressed , so nicely curled , so booted and gloved and cravated - [he]_230-alfred was charming indeed . [I]_0-i said so . "_[0-i] What , [a dear personage]_{1720-a dear personage} ! " cried [I]_0-i , and commended [Ginevra]_179-ginevra 's taste warmly ; and asked [her]_179-ginevra what [she]_179-ginevra thought [de Hamal]_230-alfred might have done with the precious fragments of that heart [she]_179-ginevra had broken - whether [he]_230-alfred kept them in a scent - vial , and conserved them in otto of roses ? [I]_0-i observed , too , with deep rapture of approbation , that [the colonel]_{5342-the colonel} 's hands were scarce larger than [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's own , and suggested that this circumstance might be convenient , as [he]_230-alfred could wear [her]_179-ginevra gloves at a pinch . On [his]_230-alfred dear curls , [I]_0-i told [her]_179-ginevra [I]_0-i doated : and as to [his]_230-alfred low , Grecian brow , and exquisite classic headpiece , [I]_0-i confessed [I]_0-i had no language to do such perfections justice . "_[0-i] And if [he]_1721-he were [[your]_1722-your lover]_{1723-your lover} ? " suggested [the cruelly exultant Ginevra]_179-ginevra . "_[0-i] Oh ! heavens , what bliss ! " said [I]_0-i ; "_[0-i] but do not be inhuman , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra : to put such thoughts into [my]_0-i head is like showing [poor outcast Cain a far , glimpse of Paradise]_{1724-poor outcast cain a far , glimpse of paradise} . " "_[1722-your] [You]_1722-your like [him]_1721-he , then ? " "_[1722-your] As [I]_0-i like sweets , and jams , and comfits , and conservatory flowers . " [Ginevra]_179-ginevra admired [my]_0-i taste , for all these things were [her]_179-ginevra adoration ; [she]_179-ginevra could then readily credit that they were mine too . "_[0-i] Now for [Isidore]_190-madame , " [I]_190-madame went on . [I]_190-madame own [I]_190-madame felt still more curious to see [him]_230-alfred than [[his]_230-alfred rival]_{5343-his rival} ; but [Ginevra]_179-ginevra was absorbed in the latter . "_[190-madame] [Alfred]_230-alfred was admitted [here]_4212-here to - night , " said [she]_179-ginevra , "_[0-i] through the influence of [[his]_230-alfred aunt]_{1726-his aunt} , [Madame la Baronne de Dorlodot]_{269-madame la baronne de dorlodot} ; and now , having seen [him]_230-alfred , can [you]_1727-you not understand why [I]_0-i have been in such spirits all the evening , and acted so well , and danced with such life , and why [I]_0-i am now happy as [a queen]_{1728-a queen} ? [Dieu]_270-dieu ! [Dieu]_270-dieu ! It was such good fun to glance first at [him]_230-alfred and then at the other , and madden [them]_1729-them both . " "_[1729-them] But that other - where is [he]_230-alfred ? Show [me]_0-i [Isidore]_190-madame . " "_[190-madame] [I]_0-i do n't like . " "_[0-i] Why not ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am ashamed of [him]_230-alfred . " "_[0-i] For what reason ? " "_[0-i] Because - because " in a whisper "_[230-alfred] [he]_230-alfred has such - such whiskers , orange - red - there now ! " "_[0-i] The murder is out , " [I]_0-i subjoined . "_[0-i] Never mind , show [him]_230-alfred all the same ; [I]_0-i engage not to faint . " [She]_1732-she looked round . Just then an English voice spoke behind [her]_1732-she and [me]_1730-you . "_[1730-you] [You]_1730-you are both standing in a draught ; [you]_1730-you must leave [this corridor]_{1731-this corridor} . " "_[1730-you] There is no draught , [Dr. John]_135-graham , " said [I]_135-graham , turning . "_[135-graham] [She]_1732-she takes cold so easily , " [he]_135-graham pursued , looking at [Ginevra]_179-ginevra with extreme kindness . "_[1732-she] [She]_1732-she is delicate ; [she]_1732-she must be cared for : fetch [her]_1732-she a shawl . " "_[1732-she] Permit [me]_0-i to judge for [myself]_0-i , " said [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , with hauteur . "_[1732-she] [I]_0-i want no shawl . " "_[0-i] [Your]_0-i dress is thin , [you]_0-i have been dancing , [you]_0-i are heated . " "_[0-i] Always preaching , " retorted [she]_179-ginevra ; "_[0-i] always coddling and admonishing . " The answer [Dr. John]_135-graham would have given did not come ; that [his]_135-graham heart was hurt became evident in [his]_135-graham eye ; darkened , and saddened , and pained , [he]_135-graham turned a little aside , but was patient . [I]_1732-she knew where there were plenty of shawls near at hand ; [I]_1732-she ran and fetched one . "_[1732-she] [She]_1732-she shall wear this , if [I]_0-i have strength to make [her]_1732-she , " said [I]_1732-she , folding it well round [her]_179-ginevra muslin dress , covering carefully [her]_179-ginevra neck and [her]_179-ginevra arms . "_[1732-she] Is that [Isidore]_190-madame ? " [I]_190-madame asked , in a somewhat fierce whisper . [She]_179-ginevra pushed up [her]_179-ginevra lip , smiled , and nodded . "_[190-madame] Is that [Isidore]_190-madame ? " [I]_190-madame repeated , giving [her]_179-ginevra a shake : [I]_190-madame could have given [her]_179-ginevra a dozen . "_[190-madame] C'est lui - meme , " said [she]_179-ginevra . "_[1733-he] How coarse [he]_1733-he is , compared with [the Colonel - Count]_{1734-the colonel - count} ! And then - oh ciel ! - the whiskers ! " [Dr. John]_135-graham now passed on . "_{[1734-the colonel - count]} [The Colonel - Count]_{1734-the colonel - count} ! " [I]_{1734-the colonel - count} echoed . "_{[1734-the colonel - count]} [The doll]_{1736-the doll} - the puppet - [the manikin]_{1737-the manikin} - [the poor inferior creature]_{1738-the poor inferior creature} ! [A mere lackey for [Dr. John]_135-graham [[his]_135-graham valet]_{1740-his valet} , [[his]_135-graham foot - boy]_{1741-his foot - boy}]_{1739-a mere lackey for dr. john his valet , his foot - boy} ! Is it possible [that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} - offers [you]_1743-you [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} honourable hand and gallant heart , and promises to protect [[your]_1743-you flimsy person]_{1744-your flimsy person} and feckless mind through the storms and struggles of life - and [you]_1743-you hang back - [you]_1743-you scorn , [you]_1743-you sting , [you]_1743-you torture [him]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} ! Have [you]_1743-you power to do this ? Who gave [you]_1743-you that power ? Where is it ? Does it lie all in [your]_1743-you beauty - [your]_1743-you pink and white complexion , and [your]_1743-you yellow hair ? Does this bind [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} soul at [your]_1743-you feet , and bend [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} neck under [your]_1743-you yoke ? Does this purchase for [you]_1743-you [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} affection , [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} tenderness , [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} thoughts , [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} hopes , [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} interest , [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} noble , cordial love - and will [you]_1743-you not have it ? Do [you]_1743-you scorn it ? [You]_1743-you are only dissembling : [you]_1743-you are not in earnest : [you]_1743-you love [him]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} ; [you]_1743-you long for [him]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} ; but [you]_1743-you trifle with [his]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} heart to make [him]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} more surely [yours]_1745-yours ? " "_[1743-you] Bah ! How [you]_1743-you run on ! [I]_0-i do n't understand half [you]_1743-you have said . " [I]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} had got [her]_1743-you out into [the garden ere this]_{5344-the garden ere this} . [I]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} now set [her]_1743-you down on a seat and told [her]_1743-you [she]_1743-you should not stir till [she]_1743-you had avowed which [she]_1743-you meant in the end to accept - [the man]_{4959-the man} or the monkey . "_{[1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision]} [Him]_{1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision} [you]_1743-you call [the man]_{4959-the man} , " said [she]_1743-you , "_[1743-you] is bourgeois , sandy - haired , and answers to the name of [John]_135-graham ! - cela suffit : je n'en veux pas . [Colonel de Hamal]_230-alfred is [a gentleman of excellent connections , perfect manners , sweet appearance , with pale interesting face , and hair and eyes like an Italian]_{1747-a gentleman of excellent connections , perfect manners , sweet appearance , with pale interesting face , and hair and eyes like an italian} . Then too [he]_230-alfred is the most delightful company possible - [a man quite in [my]_0-i way]_{1748-a man quite in my way} ; not sensible and serious like the other ; but one with whom [I]_0-i can talk on equal terms - who does not plague and bore , and harass [me]_0-i with depths , and heights , and passions , and talents for which [I]_0-i have no taste . There now . Do n't hold [me]_0-i so fast . " [I]_1749-you slackened [my]_1749-you grasp , and [she]_1743-you darted off . [I]_1749-you did not care to pursue [her]_1743-you . Somehow [I]_1749-you could not avoid returning once more in the direction of [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} to get another glimpse of [Dr. John]_135-graham ; but [I]_1749-you met [him]_230-alfred on [the garden - steps]_{5347-the garden - steps} , standing where the light from a window fell broad . [His]_230-alfred well - proportioned figure was not to be mistaken , for [I]_1749-you doubt whether there was another in that assemblage [his]_230-alfred equal . [He]_230-alfred carried [his]_230-alfred hat in [his]_230-alfred hand ; [his]_230-alfred uncovered head , [his]_230-alfred face and fine brow were most handsome and manly . [His]_230-alfred features were not delicate , not slight like those of [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , nor were they cold , frivolous , and feeble ; though well cut , they were not so chiselled , so frittered away , as to lose in expression or significance what [they]_5349-they gained in unmeaning symmetry . Much feeling spoke in them at times , and more sat silent in [his]_230-alfred eye . Such at least were [my]_1749-you thoughts of [him]_230-alfred : to [me]_1749-you [he]_230-alfred seemed all this . An inexpressible sense of wonder occupied [me]_1749-you , as [I]_1749-you looked at [this man]_{4628-this man} , and reflected that [he]_230-alfred could not be slighted . It was , not [my]_1749-you intention to approach or address [him]_230-alfred in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , [our]_5352-our terms of acquaintance not warranting such a step ; [I]_1749-you had only meant to view [him]_230-alfred in [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} - [myself]_1749-you unseen : coming upon [him]_230-alfred thus alone , [I]_1749-you withdrew . But [he]_230-alfred was looking out for [me]_1749-you , or rather for [her]_179-ginevra who had been with [me]_1749-you : therefore [he]_230-alfred descended the steps , and followed [me]_1749-you down [the alley]_{5354-the alley} . "_[1749-you] [You]_1749-you know [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ? [I]_0-i have often wished to ask whether [you]_1749-you knew [her]_179-ginevra , " said [he]_230-alfred . "_[0-i] Yes : [I]_0-i know [her]_179-ginevra . " "_{[179-ginevra]} Intimately ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} Quite as intimately as [I]_0-i wish . " "_[0-i] What have [you]_1749-you done with [her]_179-ginevra now ? " "_[1749-you] Am [I]_0-i [[her]_179-ginevra keeper]_{1750-her keeper} ? " [I]_0-i felt inclined to ask ; but [I]_0-i simply answered , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have shaken [her]_179-ginevra well , and would have shaken [her]_179-ginevra better , but [she]_179-ginevra escaped out of [my]_0-i hands and ran away . " "_{[179-ginevra]} Would [you]_1749-you favour [me]_0-i , " [he]_0-i asked , "_[1749-you] by watching over [her]_179-ginevra this one evening , and observing that [she]_179-ginevra does nothing imprudent - does not , for instance , run out into the night - air immediately after dancing ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i may , perhaps , look after [her]_179-ginevra a little ; since [you]_1749-you wish it ; but [she]_179-ginevra likes [her]_179-ginevra own way too well to submit readily to control . " "_{[179-ginevra]} [She]_179-ginevra is so young , so thoroughly artless , " said [he]_0-i . "_{[179-ginevra]} To [me]_0-i [she]_179-ginevra is [an enigma]_{1751-an enigma} , " [I]_179-ginevra responded . "_{[179-ginevra]} Is [she]_179-ginevra ? " [he]_0-i asked - much interested . "_{[179-ginevra]} How ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} It would be difficult to say how - difficult , at least , to tell [you]_1749-you how . " "_{[179-ginevra]} And why [me]_0-i ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} [I]_0-i wonder [she]_179-ginevra is not better pleased that [you]_0-i are so much [[her]_179-ginevra friend]_{4927-her friend} . " "_{[179-ginevra]} But [she]_179-ginevra has not the slightest idea how much [I]_0-i am [[her]_179-ginevra friend]_{4927-her friend} . That is precisely the point [I]_0-i can not teach [her]_179-ginevra . May [I]_0-i inquire did [she]_179-ginevra ever speak of [me]_0-i to [you]_1749-you ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} Under the name of ' [Isidore]_190-madame ' [she]_179-ginevra has talked about [you]_1749-you often ; but [I]_0-i must add that it is only within the last ten minutes [I]_0-i have discovered that [you]_1749-you and ' [Isidore]_190-madame ' are identical . It is only , [Dr. John]_135-graham , within that brief space of time [I]_0-i have learned that [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra is [the person , under this roof]_{1754-the person , under this roof} , in whom [you]_1749-you have long been interested - that [she]_179-ginevra is the magnet which attracts [you]_1749-you to [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} , that for [her]_179-ginevra sake [you]_1749-you venture into [this garden]_{4983-this garden} , and seek out caskets dropped by [rivals]_1562-rivals . " "_[1749-you] [You]_1749-you know all ? " "_[1749-you] [I]_0-i know so much . " "_[1749-you] For more than a year [I]_0-i have been accustomed to meet [her]_179-ginevra in society . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , [[her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} friend]_{4927-her friend} , is [an acquaintance of [mine]_0-i]_{1758-an acquaintance of mine} ; thus [I]_0-i see [her]_179-ginevra every Sunday . But [you]_1749-you observed that under the name of ' [Isidore]_190-madame ' [she]_179-ginevra often spoke of [me]_0-i : may [I]_0-i - without inviting [you]_1749-you to a breach of confidence - inquire what was the tone , what the feeling of [her]_179-ginevra remarks ? [I]_0-i feel somewhat anxious to know , being a little tormented with uncertainty as to how [I]_0-i stand with [her]_179-ginevra . " "_{[179-ginevra]} Oh , [she]_179-ginevra varies : [she]_179-ginevra shifts and changes like the wind . " "_{[179-ginevra]} Still , [you]_0-i can gather some general idea - ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can , " thought [I]_0-i , "_[0-i] but it would not do to communicate that general idea to [you]_1749-you . Besides , if [I]_0-i said [she]_179-ginevra did not love [you]_1749-you , [I]_0-i know [you]_1749-you would not believe [me]_0-i . " "_[1749-you] [You]_0-i are silent , " [he]_1749-you pursued . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suppose [you]_0-i have no good news to impart . No matter . If [she]_179-ginevra feels for [me]_0-i positive coldness and aversion , it is a sign [I]_0-i do not deserve [her]_179-ginevra . " "_{[179-ginevra]} Do [you]_0-i doubt [yourself]_0-i ? Do [you]_0-i consider [yourself]_0-i [the inferior of [Colonel de Hamal]_230-alfred]_{1759-the inferior of colonel de hamal} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i love [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra far more than [de Hamal]_230-alfred loves [any human being]_{1760-any human being} , and would care for and guard [her]_179-ginevra better than [he]_230-alfred . Respecting [de Hamal]_230-alfred , [I]_0-i fear [she]_179-ginevra is under an illusion ; [the man]_{4959-the man} 's character is known to [me]_0-i , all [his]_{4959-the man} antecedents , all [his]_{4959-the man} scrapes . [He]_{4959-the man} is not worthy of [[your]_0-i beautiful young friend]_{1762-your beautiful young friend} . " "_{[4959-the man]} [[My]_0-i ' beautiful young friend]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} ' ought to know that , and to know or feel who is worthy of [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} , " said [I.]_0-i "_{[1763-my ' beautiful young friend]} If [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} beauty or [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} brains will not serve [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} so far , [she]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} merits the sharp lesson of experience . " "_[0-i] Are [you]_0-i not a little severe ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am excessively severe - more severe than [I]_0-i choose to show [you]_0-i . [You]_0-i should hear the strictures with which [I]_0-i favour [[my]_0-i ' beautiful young friend]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} , ' only that [you]_0-i would be unutterably shocked at [my]_0-i want of tender considerateness for [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} delicate nature . " "_[0-i] [She]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} is so lovely , [one]_607-one can not but be loving towards [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} . [You]_0-i - [every woman older than [herself]_{1766-every woman older than herself}]_{1766-every woman older than herself} , must feel for such [a simple , innocent , girlish fairy a sort of motherly or elder - sisterly fondness]_{1767-a simple , innocent , girlish fairy a sort of motherly or elder - sisterly fondness} . [Graceful angel]_{1768-graceful angel} ! Does not [your]_0-i heart yearn towards [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} when [she]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} pours into [your]_0-i ear [her]_{1763-my ' beautiful young friend} pure , childlike confidences ? How [you]_0-i are privileged ! " And [he]_135-graham sighed . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i cut short these confidences somewhat abruptly now and then , " said [I.]_0-i "_[0-i] But excuse [me]_0-i , [Dr. John]_135-graham , may [I]_0-i change the theme for one instant ? What [a god - like person]_{1769-a god - like person} is that [de Hamal]_230-alfred ! What a nose on [his]_230-alfred face - perfect ! Model one in putty or clay , [you]_0-i could not make a better or straighter , or neater ; and then , such classic lips and chin - and [his]_230-alfred bearing - sublime . " "_{[271-de hamal]} [De Hamal]_{271-de hamal} is [an unutterable puppy]_{1770-an unutterable puppy} , besides being [a very white - livered hero]_{1771-a very white - livered hero} . " "_[135-graham] [You]_135-graham , [Dr. John]_135-graham , and [every man of a less - refined mould than [he]_230-alfred]_{1772-every man of a less - refined mould than he} , must feel for [him]_230-alfred a sort of admiring affection , such as [Mars]_272-mars and [the coarser deities]_{1773-the coarser deities} may be supposed to have borne [the young , graceful Apollo]_{1774-the young , graceful apollo} . " "_{[1774-the young , graceful apollo]} [An unprincipled , gambling little jackanapes]_{1775-an unprincipled , gambling little jackanapes} ! " said [Dr. John]_135-graham curtly , "_{[1774-the young , graceful apollo]} whom , with one hand , [I]_0-i could lift up by the waistband any day , and lay low in the kennel if [I]_0-i liked . " "_{[1776-the sweet seraph]} [The sweet seraph]_{1776-the sweet seraph} ! " said [I.]_135-graham "_{[1776-the sweet seraph]} What a cruel idea ! Are [you]_135-graham not a little severe , [Dr. John]_135-graham ? " And now [I]_135-graham paused . For the second time that night [I]_135-graham was going beyond [myself]_135-graham - venturing out of what [I]_135-graham looked on as [my]_135-graham natural habits - speaking in an unpremeditated , impulsive strain , which startled [me]_135-graham strangely when [I]_135-graham halted to reflect . On rising that morning , had [I]_135-graham anticipated that before night [I]_135-graham should have acted the part of [a gay lover]_{5355-a gay lover} in a vaudeville ; and an hour after , frankly discussed with [Dr. John]_135-graham the question of [his]_135-graham hapless suit , and rallied [him]_135-graham on [his]_135-graham illusions ? [I]_135-graham had no more presaged such feats than [I]_135-graham had looked forward to an ascent in a balloon , or a voyage to [Cape Horn]_{58-cape horn} . [The Doctor]_{4288-the doctor} and [I]_135-graham , having paced down the walk , were now returning ; the reflex from the window again lit [his]_135-graham face : [he]_135-graham smiled , but [his]_135-graham eye was melancholy . How [I]_135-graham wished that [he]_135-graham could feel heart's - ease ! How [I]_135-graham grieved that [he]_135-graham brooded over pain , and pain from such a cause ! [He]_135-graham , with [his]_135-graham great advantages , [he]_135-graham to love in vain ! [I]_135-graham did not then know that the pensiveness of reverse is the best phase for some minds ; nor did [I]_135-graham reflect that some herbs , "_[135-graham] though scentless when entire , yield fragrance when they 're bruised . " "_[135-graham] Do not be sorrowful , do not grieve , " [I]_135-graham broke out . "_[135-graham] If there is in [Ginevra]_{271-de hamal} one spark of worthiness of [your]_1777-your affection , [she]_{271-de hamal} will - [she]_{271-de hamal} must feel devotion in return . Be cheerful , be hopeful , [Dr. John]_135-graham . Who should hope , if not [you]_1777-your ? " In return for this speech [I]_135-graham got - what , it must be supposed , [I]_135-graham deserved - a look of surprise : [I]_135-graham thought also of some disapprobation . [We]_5357-we parted , and [I]_135-graham went into [the house]_{518-the house} very chill . The clocks struck and the bells tolled midnight ; [people]_531-people were leaving fast : the fete was over ; the lamps were fading . In another hour all [the dwelling - house]_{4822-the dwelling - house} , and [all the pensionnat]_{5361-all the pensionnat} , were dark and hushed . [I]_135-graham too was in bed , but not asleep . To [me]_135-graham it was not easy to sleep after a day of such excitement . CHAPTER XV . THE LONG VACATION . Following [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's fete , with its three preceding weeks of relaxation , its brief twelve hours ' burst of hilarity and dissipation , and its one subsequent day of utter languor , came a period of reaction ; two months of real application , of close , hard study . These two months , being the last of the "_[135-graham] annee scolaire , " were indeed the only genuine working months in the year . To [them]_531-people was procrastinated - into [them]_531-people concentrated , alike by [professors]_{5362-professors} , [mistresses]_{5363-mistresses} , and [pupils]_4924-pupils - the main burden of preparation for the examinations preceding the distribution of prizes . [Candidates for rewards]_{5365-candidates for rewards} had then to work in good earnest ; [masters]_1086-masters and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} had to set [their]_531-people shoulders to the wheel , to urge on the backward , and diligently aid and train [the more promising]_{5368-the more promising} . A showy demonstration - a telling exhibition - must be got up for public view , and all means were fair to this end . [I]_135-graham scarcely noted how [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} went to work ; [I]_135-graham had [my]_135-graham own business to mind ; and [my]_135-graham task was not the least onerous , being to imbue some ninety sets of brains with a due tincture of what [they]_531-people considered a most complicated and difficult science , that of the English language ; and to drill ninety tongues in what , for [them]_531-people , was an almost impossible pronunciation - the lisping and hissing dentals of [the Isles]_{273-the isles} . The examination - day arrived . Awful day ! Prepared for with anxious care , dressed for with silent despatch - nothing vaporous or fluttering now - no white gauze or azure streamers ; the grave , close , compact was the order of the toilette . It seemed to [me]_135-graham that [I]_135-graham was this day , especially doomed - the main burden and trial falling on [me]_135-graham alone of all [the female teachers]_{5370-the female teachers} . [The others]_{5058-the others} were not expected to examine in the studies [they]_{5058-the others} taught ; [the professor of literature]_{5372-the professor of literature} , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , taking upon [himself]_{196-m. paul} this duty . [He]_{196-m. paul} , [this school autocrat]_{5373-this school autocrat} , gathered all and sundry reins into the hollow of [his]_{196-m. paul} one hand ; [he]_{196-m. paul} irefully rejected [any colleague]_{5374-any colleague} ; [he]_{196-m. paul} would not have help . [Madame]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame , who evidently rather wished to undertake the examination in geography - [her]_190-madame favourite study , which [she]_190-madame taught well - was forced to succumb , and be subordinate to [[her]_190-madame despotic kinsman]_{5375-her despotic kinsman} 's direction . [The whole staff of [instructors]_{5377-instructors}]_{5376-the whole staff of instructors} , male and female , [he]_{196-m. paul} set aside , and stood on [the examiner]_{5378-the examiner} 's estrade alone . It irked [him]_{196-m. paul} that [he]_{196-m. paul} was forced to make one exception to this rule . [He]_{196-m. paul} could not manage English : [he]_{196-m. paul} was obliged to leave that branch of education in [the English teacher]_{1435-the english teacher} 's hands ; which [he]_{196-m. paul} did , not without a flash of naive jealousy . A constant crusade against the "_[135-graham] amour - propre " of [every human being]_{5380-every human being} but [himself]_{196-m. paul} , was the crotchet of [this able , but fiery and grasping little man]_{5381-this able , but fiery and grasping little man} . [He]_{196-m. paul} had a strong relish for public representation in [[his]_{196-m. paul} own person]_{5382-his own person} , but an extreme abhorrence of the like display in any other . [He]_{196-m. paul} quelled , [he]_{196-m. paul} kept down when [he]_{196-m. paul} could ; and when [he]_{196-m. paul} could not , [he]_{196-m. paul} fumed like a bottled storm . On the evening preceding the examination - day , [I]_135-graham was walking in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , as were [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} and [all the boarders]_{5385-all the boarders} . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} joined [me]_135-graham in the "_[135-graham] allee defendue ; " [his]_{196-m. paul} cigar was at [his]_{196-m. paul} lips ; [his]_{196-m. paul} paletot - a most characteristic garment of no particular shape - hung dark and menacing ; the tassel of [his]_{196-m. paul} bonnet grec sternly shadowed [his]_{196-m. paul} left temple ; [his]_{196-m. paul} black whiskers curled like those of a wrathful cat ; [his]_{196-m. paul} blue eye had a cloud in its glitter . "_[135-graham] [Ainsi]_274-ainsi , " [he]_{196-m. paul} began , abruptly fronting and arresting [me]_274-ainsi , "_[274-ainsi] vous allez troner comme une reine ; demain - troner a mes cotes ? Sans doute vous savourez d'avance les delices de l'autorite . Je crois voir en je ne sais quoi de rayonnante , petite ambitieuse ! " Now the fact was , [he]_{196-m. paul} happened to be entirely mistaken . [I]_135-graham did not - could not - estimate the admiration or the good opinion of [[tomorrow]_{5386-tomorrow} 's audience]_{5387-tomorrow 's audience} at the same rate [he]_{196-m. paul} did . Had [that audience]_{5388-that audience} numbered as many [personal friends]_{5389-personal friends} and acquaintance for [me]_135-graham as for [him]_{196-m. paul} , [I]_135-graham know not how it might have been : [I]_135-graham speak of the case as it stood . On [me]_135-graham school- triumphs shed but a cold lustre . [I]_135-graham had wondered - and [I]_135-graham wondered now - how it was that for [him]_{196-m. paul} they seemed to shine as with hearth - warmth and hearth - glow . [He]_{196-m. paul} cared for [them]_{5387-tomorrow 's audience} perhaps too much ; [I]_135-graham , probably , too little . However , [I]_135-graham had [my]_135-graham own fancies as well as [he]_{196-m. paul} . [I]_135-graham liked , for instance , to see [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} jealous ; it lit up [his]_{196-m. paul} nature , and woke [his]_{196-m. paul} spirit ; it threw all sorts of queer lights and shadows over [his]_{196-m. paul} dun face , and into [his]_{196-m. paul} violet - azure eyes [he]_{196-m. paul} used to say that [his]_{196-m. paul} black hair and blue eyes were "_[135-graham] une de ses beautes " . There was a relish in [his]_{196-m. paul} anger ; it was artless , earnest , quite unreasonable , but never hypocritical . [I]_0-i uttered no disclaimer then of the complacency [he]_{196-m. paul} attributed to [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i merely asked where the English examination came in - whether at the commencement or close of the day ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i hesitate , " said [he]_{196-m. paul} , "_[274-ainsi] whether at the very beginning , before [many persons]_{1778-many persons} are come , and when [your]_1779-your aspiring nature will not be gratified by [a large audience]_{1780-a large audience} , or quite at the close , when [everybody]_{4957-everybody} is tired , and only a jaded and worn - out attention will be at [your]_1779-your service . " "_{[1782-monsieur]} Que vous etes dur , [Monsieur]_{1782-monsieur} ! " [I]_607-one said , affecting dejection . "_[607-one] [One]_607-one ought to be ' dur ' with [you]_{1782-monsieur} . [You]_{1782-monsieur} are one of [those beings who must be kept down]_{1784-those beings who must be kept down} . [I]_0-i know [you]_{1782-monsieur} ! [I]_0-i know [you]_{1782-monsieur} ! [Other people in [this house]_{5145-this house}]_{1785-other people in this house} see [you]_{1782-monsieur} pass , and think that a colourless shadow has gone by . As for [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i scrutinized [your]_{1782-monsieur} face once , and it sufficed . " "_[0-i] [You]_{1782-monsieur} are satisfied that [you]_{1782-monsieur} understand [me]_0-i ? " Without answering directly , [he]_0-i went on , "_{[1782-monsieur]} Were [you]_{1782-monsieur} not gratified when [you]_{1782-monsieur} succeeded in that vaudeville ? [I]_0-i watched [you]_{1782-monsieur} and saw a passionate ardour for triumph in [your]_{1782-monsieur} physiognomy . What fire shot into the glance ! Not mere light , but flame : je [me]_0-i tiens pour averti . " "_[0-i] What feeling [I]_0-i had on that occasion , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} - and pardon [me]_0-i , if [I]_0-i say , [you]_{1465-monsieur} immensely exaggerate both its quality and quantity - was quite abstract . [I]_0-i did not care for the vaudeville . [I]_0-i hated the part [you]_{1465-monsieur} assigned [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had not the slightest sympathy with [the audience]_{1788-the audience} below the stage . [They]_{1788-the audience} are [good people]_{1789-good people} , doubtless , but do [I]_0-i know [them]_{1788-the audience} ? Are [they]_{1788-the audience} anything to [me]_0-i ? Can [I]_0-i care for being brought before [their]_{1788-the audience} view again to - morrow ? Will the examination be anything but a task to [me]_0-i - a task [I]_0-i wish well over ? " "_[0-i] Shall [I]_0-i take it out of [your]_{1465-monsieur} hands ? " "_[0-i] With all [my]_0-i heart ; if [you]_{1465-monsieur} do not fear failure . " "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i should fail . [I]_0-i only know three phrases of English , and a few words : par exemple , de sonn , de mone , de stares - est - ce bien dit ? [My]_0-i opinion is that it would be better to give up the thing altogether : to have no English examination , eh ? " "_[190-madame] If [Madame]_190-madame consents , [I]_0-i consent . " "_[190-madame] Heartily ? " "_[190-madame] Very heartily . " [He]_0-i smoked [his]_0-i cigar in silence . [He]_0-i turned suddenly . "_[190-madame] Donnez - moi la main , " said [he]_0-i , and the spite and jealousy melted out of [his]_0-i face , and a generous kindliness shone there instead . "_[190-madame] Come , [we]_1790-we will not be [rivals]_1562-rivals , [we]_1790-we will be [friends]_533-friends , " [he]_0-i pursued . "_{[533-friends]} The examination shall take place , and [I]_0-i will choose a good moment ; and instead of vexing and hindering , as [I]_0-i felt half - inclined ten minutes ago - for [I]_0-i have [my]_0-i malevolent moods : [I]_0-i always had from childhood - [I]_0-i will aid [you]_1793-you sincerely . After all , [you]_1793-you are solitary and [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} , and have [your]_1793-you way to make and [your]_1793-you bread to earn ; it may be well that [you]_1793-you should become known . [We]_1790-we will be [friends]_533-friends : do [you]_0-i agree ? " "_[0-i] Out of [my]_0-i heart , [Monsieur]_{1796-monsieur} . [I]_0-i am glad of [a friend]_{1797-a friend} . [I]_0-i like that better than a triumph . " "_[0-i] Pauvrette ? " said [he]_{1796-monsieur} , and turned away and left [the alley]_{5354-the alley} . The examination passed over well ; [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was as good as [his]_{196-m. paul} word , and did [his]_{196-m. paul} best to make [my]_0-i part easy . The next day came the distribution of prizes ; that also passed ; [the school]_{4856-the school} broke up ; [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} went [home]_542-home , and now began the long vacation . That vacation ! Shall [I]_0-i ever forget it ? [I]_0-i think not . [Madame Beck]_190-madame went , the first day of the holidays , to join [[her]_190-madame children]_{5002-her children} at [the sea - side]_{5395-the sea - side} ; [all the three teachers]_{5396-all the three teachers} had [parents]_1307-parents or friends with whom [they]_{5396-all the three teachers} took refuge ; [every professor]_{5398-every professor} quitted [the city]_{4429-the city} ; [some]_5400-some went to [Paris]_59-paris , [some]_5400-some to [Boue - Marine]_{33-boue - marine} ; [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} set forth on a pilgrimage to [Rome]_54-rome ; [the house]_{518-the house} was left quite empty , but for [me]_0-i , [a servant]_{564-a servant} , and [a poor deformed and imbecile pupil]_{5404-a poor deformed and imbecile pupil} , [a sort of cretin , whom [[her]_{5404-a poor deformed and imbecile pupil} stepmother]_{5406-her stepmother} in [a distant province]_{5407-a distant province} would not allow to return [home]_542-home]_{5405-a sort of cretin , whom her stepmother in a distant province would not allow to return home} . [My]_0-i heart almost died within [me]_0-i ; miserable longings strained its chords . How long were the September days ! How silent , how lifeless ! How vast and void seemed [the desolate premises]_{5409-the desolate premises} ! How gloomy [the forsaken garden]_{5410-the forsaken garden} - grey now with the dust of [a town]_{5411-a town} summer departed . Looking forward at the commencement of those eight weeks , [I]_0-i hardly knew how [I]_0-i was to live to the end . [My]_0-i spirits had long been gradually sinking ; now that the prop of employment was withdrawn , [they]_5412-they went down fast . Even to look forward was not to hope : the dumb future spoke no comfort , offered no promise , gave no inducement to bear present evil in reliance on future good . A sorrowful indifference to existence often pressed on [me]_0-i - a despairing resignation to reach betimes the end of all things earthly . Alas ! When [I]_0-i had full leisure to look on life as life must be looked on by such as [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i found it but [a hopeless desert]_{5413-a hopeless desert} : tawny sands , with [no green fields]_{5414-no green fields} , no palm - tree , no well in view . The hopes which are dear to youth , which bear it up and lead it on , [I]_0-i knew not and dared not know . If [they]_5412-they knocked at [my]_0-i heart sometimes , an inhospitable bar to admission must be inwardly drawn . When [they]_5412-they turned away thus rejected , tears sad enough sometimes flowed : but it could not be helped : [I]_0-i dared not give [such guests lodging]_{5415-such guests lodging} . So mortally did [I]_0-i fear the sin and weakness of presumption . [Religious reader]_{5416-religious reader} , [you]_{5416-religious reader} will preach to [me]_0-i a long sermon about what [I]_0-i have just written , and so will [you]_{5416-religious reader} , [moralist]_{5417-moralist} : and [you]_{5416-religious reader} , [stern sage]_{5418-stern sage} : [you]_{5416-religious reader} , stoic , will frown ; [you]_{5416-religious reader} , [cynic]_5419-cynic , sneer ; [you]_{5416-religious reader} , epicure , laugh . Well , each and all , take it [your]_{5416-religious reader} own way . [I]_0-i accept the sermon , frown , sneer , and laugh ; perhaps [you]_{5416-religious reader} are all right : and perhaps , circumstanced like [me]_0-i , [you]_{5416-religious reader} would have been , like [me]_0-i , wrong . The first month was , indeed , a long , black , heavy month to [me]_0-i . [The cretin]_{5420-the cretin} did not seem unhappy . [I]_0-i did [my]_0-i best to feed [her]_{5420-the cretin} well and keep [her]_{5420-the cretin} warm , and [she]_{5420-the cretin} only asked food and sunshine , or when that lacked , fire . [Her]_{5420-the cretin} weak faculties approved of inertion : [her]_{5420-the cretin} brain , [her]_{5420-the cretin} eyes , [her]_{5420-the cretin} ears , [her]_{5420-the cretin} heart slept content ; [they]_{5420-the cretin} could not wake to work , so lethargy was [their]_{5420-the cretin} Paradise . Three weeks of that vacation were hot , fair , and dry , but the fourth and fifth were tempestuous and wet . [I]_0-i do not know why that change in the atmosphere made a cruel impression on [me]_0-i , why the raging storm and beating rain crushed [me]_0-i with a deadlier paralysis than [I]_0-i had experienced while the air had remained serene ; but so it was ; and [my]_0-i nervous system could hardly support what it had for many days and nights to undergo in [that huge empty house]_{5421-that huge empty house} . How [I]_0-i used to pray to [Heaven]_1614-heaven for consolation and support ! With what dread force the conviction would grasp [me]_0-i that [Fate]_159-fate was [[my]_0-i permanent foe]_{5423-my permanent foe} , never to be conciliated . [I]_0-i did not , in [my]_0-i heart , arraign the mercy or justice of [God]_164-god for this ; [I]_0-i concluded it to be a part of [his]_164-god great plan that [some]_5400-some must deeply suffer while [they]_5400-some live , and [I]_0-i thrilled in the certainty that of this number , [I]_0-i was one . It was some relief when [an aunt of [the cretin]_{5420-the cretin}]_{5425-an aunt of the cretin} , [a kind old woman]_{5427-a kind old woman} , came one day , and took away [[my]_0-i strange , deformed companion]_{5428-my strange , deformed companion} . [The hapless creature]_{5429-the hapless creature} had been at times a heavy charge ; [I]_0-i could not take [her]_{5429-the hapless creature} out beyond [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , and [I]_0-i could not leave [her]_{5429-the hapless creature} a minute alone : for [her]_{5429-the hapless creature} poor mind , like [her]_{5429-the hapless creature} body , was warped : its propensity was to evil . A vague bent to mischief , an aimless malevolence , made constant vigilance indispensable . As [she]_{5429-the hapless creature} very rarely spoke , and would sit for hours together moping and mowing , and distorting [her]_{5429-the hapless creature} features with indescribable grimaces , it was more like being prisoned with some strange tameless animal , than associating with [a human being]_{5431-a human being} . Then there were personal attentions to be rendered which required the nerve of [a hospital nurse]_{5432-a hospital nurse} ; [my]_0-i resolution was so tried , it sometimes fell dead - sick . These duties should not have fallen on [me]_0-i ; [a servant , now absent]_{5433-a servant , now absent} , had rendered them hitherto , and in the hurry of holiday departure , no substitute to fill [this office]_{5434-this office} had been provided . This tax and trial were by no means the least [I]_0-i have known in life . Still , menial and distasteful as they were , [my]_0-i mental pain was far more wasting and wearing . Attendance on the cretin deprived [me]_0-i often of the power and inclination to swallow a meal , and sent [me]_0-i faint to the fresh air , and the well or fountain in [the court]_{1612-the court} ; but this duty never wrung [my]_0-i heart , or brimmed [my]_0-i eyes , or scalded [my]_0-i cheek with tears hot as molten metal . [The cretin]_{5420-the cretin} being gone , [I]_0-i was free to walk out . At first [I]_0-i lacked courage to venture very far from [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} , but by degrees [I]_0-i sought the city gates , and passed them , and then went wandering away far along chaussees , through [fields]_802-fields , beyond [cemeteries]_{5438-cemeteries} , [Catholic and Protestant]_{60-catholic and protestant} , beyond [farmsteads]_{5439-farmsteads} , to [lanes]_5440-lanes and [little woods]_{5441-little woods} , and [I]_0-i know not where . [A goad]_{5442-a goad} thrust [me]_0-i on , a fever forbade [me]_0-i to rest ; a want of companionship maintained in [my]_0-i soul the cravings of a most deadly famine . [I]_0-i often walked all day , through the burning noon and the arid afternoon , and the dusk evening , and came back with moonrise . While wandering in solitude , [I]_0-i would sometimes picture the present probable position of [others]_770-others , [my]_0-i acquaintance . There was [Madame Beck]_190-madame at [a cheerful watering - place with [[her]_190-madame children]_{5002-her children} , [[her]_190-madame mother]_{550-her mother}]_{5444-a cheerful watering - place with her children , her mother} , and [a whole troop of [friends who had sought the same scene of relaxation]_{5448-friends who had sought the same scene of relaxation}]_{5447-a whole troop of friends who had sought the same scene of relaxation} . [Zelie St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} was at [Paris]_59-paris , with [[her]_{261-mademoiselle} relatives]_{5449-her relatives} ; [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} were at [[their]_{5049-the other teachers} homes]_{5451-their homes} . There was [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , whom certain of [her]_179-ginevra connections had carried on a pleasant tour southward . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra seemed to [me]_0-i the happiest . [She]_179-ginevra was on the route of beautiful scenery ; these September suns shone for [her]_179-ginevra on [fertile plains]_{5452-fertile plains} , where harvest and vintage matured under their mellow beam . These gold and crystal moons rose on [her]_179-ginevra vision over blue horizons waved in mounted lines . But all this was nothing ; [I]_0-i too felt those autumn suns and saw those harvest moons , and [I]_0-i almost wished to be covered in with earth and turf , deep out of [their]_{5049-the other teachers} influence ; for [I]_0-i could not live in [their]_{5049-the other teachers} light , nor make [them]_{5049-the other teachers} comrades , nor yield [them]_{5049-the other teachers} affection . But [Ginevra]_179-ginevra had a kind of spirit with [her]_179-ginevra , empowered to give constant strength and comfort , to gladden daylight and embalm darkness ; the best of [the good genii that guard humanity]_{5453-the good genii that guard humanity} curtained [her]_179-ginevra with [his]_{5453-the good genii that guard humanity} wings , and canopied [her]_179-ginevra head with [his]_{5453-the good genii that guard humanity} bending form . By True Love was [Ginevra]_179-ginevra followed : never could [she]_179-ginevra be alone . Was [she]_179-ginevra insensible to this presence ? It seemed to [me]_0-i impossible : [I]_0-i could not realize such deadness . [I]_0-i imagined [her]_179-ginevra grateful in secret , loving now with reserve ; but purposing one day to show how much [she]_179-ginevra loved : [I]_0-i pictured [[her]_179-ginevra faithful hero]_{5454-her faithful hero} half conscious of [her]_179-ginevra coy fondness , and comforted by that consciousness : [I]_0-i conceived an electric chord of sympathy between [them]_5455-them , a fine chain of mutual understanding , sustaining union through a separation of a hundred leagues - carrying , across mound and hollow , communication by prayer and wish . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra gradually became with [me]_0-i [a sort of heroine]_{5456-a sort of heroine} . One day , perceiving this growing illusion , [I]_0-i said , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i really believe [my]_0-i nerves are getting overstretched : [my]_0-i mind has suffered somewhat too much a malady is growing upon it - what shall [I]_0-i do ? How shall [I]_0-i keep well ? " Indeed there was no way to keep well under the circumstances . At last a day and night of peculiarly agonizing depression were succeeded by physical illness , [I]_0-i took perforce to [my]_0-i bed . About this time the Indian summer closed and the equinoctial storms began ; and for nine dark and wet days , of which the hours rushed on all turbulent , deaf , dishevelled - bewildered with sounding hurricane - [I]_0-i lay in a strange fever of the nerves and blood . Sleep went quite away . [I]_0-i used to rise in the night , look round for [her]_179-ginevra , beseech [her]_179-ginevra earnestly to return . A rattle of the window , a cry of the blast only replied - -Sleep never came ! [I]_0-i err . [She]_179-ginevra came once , but in anger . Impatient of [my]_0-i importunity [she]_179-ginevra brought with [her]_179-ginevra an avenging dream . By the clock of [St. Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste} , that dream remained scarce fifteen minutes - a brief space , but sufficing to wring [my]_0-i whole frame with unknown anguish ; to confer a nameless experience that had the hue , the mien , the terror , the very tone of a visitation from eternity . Between twelve and one that night a cup was forced to [my]_0-i lips , black , strong , strange , drawn from no well , but filled up seething from [a bottomless and boundless sea]_{5457-a bottomless and boundless sea} . Suffering , brewed in temporal or calculable measure , and mixed for mortal lips , tastes not as this suffering tasted . Having drank and woke , [I]_0-i thought all was over : the end come and past by . Trembling fearfully - as consciousness returned - ready to cry out on [some fellow- creature]_{5458-some fellow- creature} to help [me]_0-i , only that [I]_0-i knew [no fellow - creature]_{5459-no fellow - creature} was near enough to catch the wild summons - [Goton]_276-goton in [[her]_276-goton far distant attic]_{5460-her far distant attic} could not hear - [I]_0-i rose on [my]_0-i knees in bed . Some fearful hours went over [me]_0-i : indescribably was [I]_0-i torn , racked and oppressed in mind . Amidst the horrors of that dream [I]_0-i think the worst lay here . [Methought the well- loved dead , who had loved [me]_0-i well in life]_{5461-methought the well- loved dead , who had loved me well in life} , met [me]_0-i elsewhere , alienated : galled was [my]_0-i inmost spirit with an unutterable sense of despair about the future . Motive there was none why [I]_0-i should try to recover or wish to live ; and yet quite unendurable was the pitiless and haughty voice in which [Death]_277-death challenged [me]_0-i to engage [his]_277-death unknown terrors . When [I]_0-i tried to pray [I]_0-i could only utter these words : "_[0-i] From [my]_0-i youth up [Thy]_1798-thy terrors have [I]_0-i suffered with a troubled mind . " Most true was it . On bringing [me]_0-i [my]_0-i tea next morning [Goton]_276-goton urged [me]_0-i to call in [a doctor]_{5462-a doctor} . [I]_0-i would not : [I]_0-i thought [no doctor]_{5463-no doctor} could cure [me]_0-i . One evening - and [I]_0-i was not delirious : [I]_0-i was in [my]_0-i sane mind , [I]_0-i got up - [I]_0-i dressed [myself]_0-i , weak and shaking . The solitude and the stillness of [the long dormitory]_{5138-the long dormitory} could not be borne any longer ; the ghastly white beds were turning into spectres - the coronal of each became a death's- head , huge and sun - bleached - dead dreams of an elder world and [mightier race]_{5465-mightier race} lay frozen in their wide gaping eyeholes . That evening more firmly than ever fastened into [my]_0-i soul the conviction that Fate was of stone , and Hope a false idol - blind , bloodless , and of granite core . [I]_0-i felt , too , that the trial [God]_164-god had appointed [me]_0-i was gaining its climax , and must now be turned by [my]_0-i own hands , hot , feeble , trembling as they were . It rained still , and blew ; but with more clemency , [I]_0-i thought , than it had poured and raged all day . Twilight was falling , and [I]_0-i deemed its influence pitiful ; from the lattice [I]_0-i saw coming night - clouds trailing low like banners drooping . It seemed to [me]_0-i that at this hour there was affection and sorrow in [Heaven]_188-heaven above for all pain suffered on [earth beneath]_{5466-earth beneath} ; the weight of [my]_0-i dreadful dream became alleviated - that insufferable thought of being [no more loved]_{5467-no more loved} - no more owned , half - yielded to hope of the contrary - [I]_0-i was sure this hope would shine clearer if [I]_0-i got out from under [this house]_{5145-this house} - roof , which was crushing as the slab of [a tomb]_{5469-a tomb} , and went outside [the city]_{4429-the city} to [a certain quiet hill]_{5471-a certain quiet hill} , a long way distant in [the fields]_{5472-the fields} . Covered with a cloak [I]_0-i could not be delirious , for [I]_0-i had sense and recollection to put on warm clothing , forth [I]_0-i set . The bells of [a church]_{5473-a church} arrested [me]_0-i in passing ; [they]_5474-they seemed to call [me]_0-i in to the salut , and [I]_0-i went in . Any solemn rite , any spectacle of sincere worship , any opening for appeal to [God]_164-god was as welcome to [me]_0-i then as bread to one in extremity of want . [I]_0-i knelt down with [others]_770-others on [the stone pavement]_{5476-the stone pavement} . It was [an old solemn church]_{5477-an old solemn church} , [its]_{5477-an old solemn church} pervading gloom not gilded but purpled by light shed through stained glass . [Few worshippers]_{5478-few worshippers} were assembled , and , the salut over , [half of [them]_{5478-few worshippers}]_{5479-half of them} departed . [I]_0-i discovered soon that [those left remained to confess]_{5480-those left remained to confess} . [I]_0-i did not stir . Carefully every door of [the church]_{5217-the church} was shut ; a holy quiet sank upon , and a solemn shade gathered about [us]_5482-us . After a space , breathless and spent in prayer , [a penitent]_{5483-a penitent} approached the confessional . [I]_0-i watched . [She]_{5483-a penitent} whispered [her]_{5483-a penitent} avowal ; [her]_{5483-a penitent} shrift was whispered back ; [she]_{5483-a penitent} returned consoled . [Another]_5484-another went , and another . [A pale lady]_{5485-a pale lady} , kneeling near [me]_0-i , said in a low , kind voice : - "_[0-i] Go [you]_1799-i now , [I]_0-i am not quite prepared . " Mechanically obedient , [I]_1799-i rose and went . [I]_1799-i knew what [I]_1799-i was about ; [my]_1799-i mind had run over the intent with lightning - speed . To take this step could not make [me]_1799-i more wretched than [I]_1799-i was ; it might soothe [me]_1799-i . [The priest within the confessional]_{5486-the priest within the confessional} never turned [his]_{5486-the priest within the confessional} eyes to regard [me]_1799-i ; [he]_{5486-the priest within the confessional} only quietly inclined [his]_{5486-the priest within the confessional} ear to [my]_1799-i lips . [He]_{5486-the priest within the confessional} might be [a good man]_{5487-a good man} , but this duty had become to [him]_{5486-the priest within the confessional} a sort of form : [he]_{5486-the priest within the confessional} went through it with the phlegm of custom . [I]_1799-i hesitated ; of the formula of confession [I]_1799-i was ignorant : instead of commencing , then , with the prelude usual , [I]_1799-i said : - "_[1799-i] [Mon pere]_{1800-mon pere} , je suis Protestante . " [He]_{1800-mon pere} directly turned . [He]_{1800-mon pere} was not [a native priest]_{5488-a native priest} : of that class , the cast of physiognomy is , almost invariably , grovelling : [I]_{1800-mon pere} saw by [his]_{1800-mon pere} profile and brow [he]_{1800-mon pere} was [a Frenchman]_{5489-a frenchman} ; though grey and advanced in years , [he]_{1800-mon pere} did not , [I]_{1800-mon pere} think , lack feeling or intelligence . [He]_{1800-mon pere} inquired , not unkindly , why , being [a Protestant]_{928-a protestant} , [I]_{1800-mon pere} came to [him]_{1800-mon pere} ? [I]_{1800-mon pere} said [I]_{1800-mon pere} was perishing for a word of advice or an accent of comfort . [I]_{1800-mon pere} had been living for some weeks quite alone ; [I]_{1800-mon pere} had been ill ; [I]_{1800-mon pere} had a pressure of affliction on [my]_{1800-mon pere} mind of which it would hardly any longer endure the weight . "_{[1800-mon pere]} Was it a sin , a crime ? " [he]_{1800-mon pere} inquired , somewhat startled . [I]_1801-i reassured [him]_{1800-mon pere} on this point , and , as well as [I]_1801-i could , [I]_1801-i showed [him]_{1800-mon pere} the mere outline of [my]_1801-i experience . [He]_{1800-mon pere} looked thoughtful , surprised , puzzled . "_[1801-i] [You]_1801-i take [me]_0-i unawares , " said [he]_{1800-mon pere} . "_[1801-i] [I]_0-i have not had such a case as [yours]_1801-i before : ordinarily [we]_1802-we know [our]_1802-we routine , and are prepared ; but this makes a great break in the common course of confession . [I]_0-i am hardly furnished with counsel fitting the circumstances . " Of course , [I]_0-i had not expected [he]_{1800-mon pere} would be ; but the mere relief of communication in an ear which was human and sentient , yet consecrated - the mere pouring out of some portion of long accumulating , long pent - up pain into a vessel whence it could not be again diffused - had done [me]_0-i good . [I]_0-i was already solaced . "_[0-i] Must [I]_0-i go , [father]_1803-father ? " [I]_1803-father asked of [him]_{1800-mon pere} as [he]_{1800-mon pere} sat silent . "_{[1803-father]} [[My]_0-i daughter]_{1804-my daughter} , " [he]_{1800-mon pere} said kindly - and [I]_1803-father am sure [he]_{1800-mon pere} was [a kind man]_{5491-a kind man} : [he]_{1800-mon pere} had a compassionate eye - "_{[1803-father]} for the present [you]_{1804-my daughter} had better go : but [I]_0-i assure [you]_{1804-my daughter} [your]_{1804-my daughter} words have struck [me]_0-i . Confession , like other things , is apt to become formal and trivial with habit . [You]_{1804-my daughter} have come and poured [your]_{1804-my daughter} heart out ; a thing seldom done . [I]_0-i would fain think [your]_{1804-my daughter} case over , and take it with [me]_0-i to [[my]_0-i oratory]_{1805-my oratory} . Were [you]_{1804-my daughter} of [our]_1806-our faith [I]_0-i should know what to say - a mind so tossed can find repose but in the bosom of retreat , and the punctual practice of piety . [The world]_{811-the world} , it is well known , has no satisfaction for that class of natures . [Holy men]_{1808-holy men} have bidden penitents like [you]_{1804-my daughter} to hasten [their]_{1808-holy men} path upward by penance , self - denial , and difficult good works . Tears are given [them]_{1808-holy men} here for meat and drink - bread of affliction and waters of affliction - [their]_{1808-holy men} recompence comes hereafter . It is [my]_0-i own conviction that these impressions under which [you]_{1804-my daughter} are smarting are messengers from [God]_164-god to bring [you]_{1804-my daughter} back to [the true Church]_{1809-the true church} . [You]_{1804-my daughter} were made for [our]_1806-our faith : depend upon it [our]_1806-our faith alone could heal and help [you]_{1804-my daughter} - Protestantism is altogether too dry , cold , prosaic for [you]_{1804-my daughter} . The further [I]_0-i look into this matter , the more plainly [I]_0-i see it is entirely out of the common order of things . On no account would [I]_0-i lose sight of [you]_{1804-my daughter} . Go , [[my]_0-i daughter]_{1804-my daughter} , for the present ; but return to [me]_0-i again . " [I]_{1804-my daughter} rose and thanked [him]_0-i . [I]_{1804-my daughter} was withdrawing when [he]_0-i signed [me]_{1804-my daughter} to return . "_{[1804-my daughter]} [You]_{1804-my daughter} must not come to [this church]_{1811-this church} , " said [he]_0-i : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i see [you]_{1804-my daughter} are ill , and [this church]_{1811-this church} is too cold ; [you]_{1804-my daughter} must come to [[my]_0-i house]_{1813-my house} : [I]_0-i live - - " and [he]_0-i gave [me]_{1804-my daughter} [his]_0-i address . "_{[1804-my daughter]} Be there to - morrow morning at ten . " In reply to this appointment , [I]_{1804-my daughter} only bowed ; and pulling down [my]_{1804-my daughter} veil , and gathering round [me]_{1804-my daughter} [my]_{1804-my daughter} cloak , [I]_{1804-my daughter} glided away . Did [I]_{1804-my daughter} , do [you]_5492-you suppose , [reader]_4604-reader , contemplate venturing again within [that worthy priest]_{5494-that worthy priest} 's reach ? As soon should [I]_{1804-my daughter} have thought of walking into [a Babylonish furnace]_{5495-a babylonish furnace} . [That priest]_{5496-that priest} had arms which could influence [me]_{1804-my daughter} : [he]_{5496-that priest} was naturally kind , with a sentimental French kindness , to whose softness [I]_{1804-my daughter} knew [myself]_{1804-my daughter} not wholly impervious . Without respecting some sorts of affection , there was hardly any sort having a fibre of root in reality , which [I]_{1804-my daughter} could rely on [my]_{1804-my daughter} force wholly to withstand . Had [I]_{1804-my daughter} gone to [him]_{5496-that priest} , [he]_{5496-that priest} would have shown [me]_{1804-my daughter} all that was tender , and comforting , and gentle , in the honest Popish superstition . Then [he]_{5496-that priest} would have tried to kindle , blow and stir up in [me]_{1804-my daughter} the zeal of good works . [I]_{1804-my daughter} know not how it would all have ended . [We]_5497-we all think [ourselves]_5497-we strong in some points ; [we]_5497-we all know [ourselves]_5497-we weak in many ; the probabilities are that had [I]_{1804-my daughter} visited [Numero 10]_{62-numero 10} , [Rue des Mages]_{63-rue des mages} , at the hour and day appointed , [I]_{1804-my daughter} might just now , instead of writing this heretic narrative , be counting [my]_{1804-my daughter} beads in [the cell of [a certain Carmelite convent]_{5499-a certain carmelite convent} on [the Boulevard of Crecy]_{5500-the boulevard of crecy}]_{5498-the cell of a certain carmelite convent on the boulevard of crecy} , in [Villette]_3-villette . There was something of [Fenelon]_278-fenelon about [that benign old priest]_{5501-that benign old priest} ; and whatever most of [[his]_{5496-that priest} brethren]_{5502-his brethren} may be , and whatever [I]_{1804-my daughter} may think of [his]_{5496-that priest} Church and creed and [I]_{1804-my daughter} like neither , of [himself]_{5496-that priest} [I]_{1804-my daughter} must ever retain a grateful recollection . [He]_{5496-that priest} was kind when [I]_{1804-my daughter} needed kindness ; [he]_{5496-that priest} did [me]_{1804-my daughter} good . May Heaven bless [him]_{5496-that priest} ! Twilight had passed into night , and the lamps were lit in [the streets]_{983-the streets} ere [I]_{1804-my daughter} issued from [that sombre church]_{5504-that sombre church} . To turn back was now become possible to [me]_{1804-my daughter} ; the wild longing to breathe this October wind on [the little hill far without [the city]_{4429-the city} walls]_{5505-the little hill far without the city walls} had ceased to be an imperative impulse , and was softened into a wish with which Reason could cope : [she]_5507-she put it down , and [I]_{1804-my daughter} turned , as [I]_{1804-my daughter} thought , to [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} . But [I]_{1804-my daughter} had become involved in [a part of [the city]_{4429-the city} with which [I]_{1804-my daughter} was not familiar]_{5508-a part of the city with which i was not familiar} ; it was the old part , and full of [narrow streets of [picturesque , ancient , and mouldering houses]_{5511-picturesque , ancient , and mouldering houses}]_{5510-narrow streets of picturesque , ancient , and mouldering houses} . [I]_{1804-my daughter} was much too weak to be very collected , and [I]_{1804-my daughter} was still too careless of [my]_{1804-my daughter} own welfare and safety to be cautious ; [I]_{1804-my daughter} grew embarrassed ; [I]_{1804-my daughter} got immeshed in a network of turns unknown . [I]_{1804-my daughter} was lost and had no resolution to ask guidance of [any passenger]_{5512-any passenger} . If the storm had lulled a little at sunset , it made up now for lost time . Strong and horizontal thundered the current of the wind from [north - west]_{5513-north - west} to [south - east]_{5514-south - east} ; it brought rain like spray , and sometimes a sharp hail , like shot : it was cold and pierced [me]_{1804-my daughter} to the vitals . [I]_{1804-my daughter} bent [my]_{1804-my daughter} head to meet it , but it beat [me]_{1804-my daughter} back . [My]_{1804-my daughter} heart did not fail at all in this conflict ; [I]_{1804-my daughter} only wished that [I]_{1804-my daughter} had wings and could ascend the gale , spread and repose [my]_{1804-my daughter} pinions on its strength , career in its course , sweep where it swept . While wishing this , [I]_{1804-my daughter} suddenly felt colder where before [I]_{1804-my daughter} was cold , and more powerless where before [I]_{1804-my daughter} was weak . [I]_{1804-my daughter} tried to reach [the porch of [a great building near]_{5516-a great building near}]_{5515-the porch of a great building near} , but the mass of frontage and the giant spire turned black and vanished from [my]_{1804-my daughter} eyes . Instead of sinking on the steps as [I]_{1804-my daughter} intended , [I]_{1804-my daughter} seemed to pitch headlong down an abyss . [I]_{1804-my daughter} remember no more . CHAPTER XVI . AULD LANG SYNE . Where [my]_{1804-my daughter} soul went during that swoon [I]_{1804-my daughter} can not tell . Whatever [she]_5517-her saw , or wherever [she]_5517-her travelled in [her]_5517-her trance on that strange night [she]_5517-her kept [her]_5517-her own secret ; never whispering a word to Memory , and baffling imagination by an indissoluble silence . [She]_5517-her may have gone upward , and come in sight of [[her]_5517-her eternal home]_{5518-her eternal home} , hoping for leave to rest now , and deeming that [her]_5517-her painful union with matter was at last dissolved . While [she]_5517-her so deemed , [an angel]_{1143-an angel} may have warned [her]_5517-her away from heaven 's threshold , and , guiding [her]_5517-her weeping down , have bound [her]_5517-her , once more , all shuddering and unwilling , to that poor frame , cold and wasted , of whose companionship [she]_5517-her was grown more than weary . [I]_{1804-my daughter} know [she]_5517-her re - entered [[her]_5517-her prison]_{5520-her prison} with pain , with reluctance , with a moan and a long shiver . [The divorced mates]_{5521-the divorced mates} , Spirit and [Substance]_{279-substance} , were hard to re - unite : [they]_{5521-the divorced mates} greeted [each other]_{4318-each other} , not in an embrace , but a racking sort of struggle . The returning sense of sight came upon [me]_{1804-my daughter} , red , as if it swam in blood ; suspended hearing rushed back loud , like thunder ; consciousness revived in fear : [I]_{1804-my daughter} sat up appalled , wondering into what region , amongst what strange beings [I]_{1804-my daughter} was waking . At first [I]_{1804-my daughter} knew nothing [I]_{1804-my daughter} looked on : a wall was not a wall - a lamp not a lamp . [I]_{1804-my daughter} should have understood what [we]_5523-we call [a ghost]_{5524-a ghost} , as well as [I]_{1804-my daughter} did the commonest object : which is another way of intimating that all [my]_{1804-my daughter} eye rested on struck it as spectral . But [the faculties]_{5525-the faculties} soon settled each in [[his]_5526-his place]_{5527-his place} ; the life - machine presently resumed its wonted and regular working . Still , [I]_{1804-my daughter} knew not where [I]_{1804-my daughter} was ; only in time [I]_{1804-my daughter} saw [I]_{1804-my daughter} had been removed from the spot where [I]_{1804-my daughter} fell : [I]_{1804-my daughter} lay on [no portico - step]_{5528-no portico - step} ; night and tempest were excluded by walls , windows , and ceiling . Into [some house]_{5529-some house} [I]_{1804-my daughter} had been carried - but what [house]_5530-house ? [I]_{1804-my daughter} could only think of [the pensionnat in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette}]_{5531-the pensionnat in the rue fossette} . Still half- dreaming , [I]_{1804-my daughter} tried hard to discover in [what room [they]_{5531-the pensionnat in the rue fossette} had put [me]_{1804-my daughter}]_{5532-what room they had put me} ; whether [the great dormitory]_{5533-the great dormitory} , or [one of [the little dormitories]_{5535-the little dormitories}]_{5534-one of the little dormitories} . [I]_{1804-my daughter} was puzzled , because [I]_{1804-my daughter} could not make the glimpses of furniture [I]_{1804-my daughter} saw accord with [my]_{1804-my daughter} knowledge of [any of [these apartments]_{5537-these apartments}]_{5536-any of these apartments} . The empty white beds were wanting , and the long line of large windows . "_{[1804-my daughter]} Surely , " thought [I]_{1804-my daughter} , "_{[1804-my daughter]} it is not to [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's own chamber]_{1814-madame beck 's own chamber} [they]_1815-i have carried [me]_0-i ! " And here [my]_1815-i eye fell on an easy - chair covered with blue damask . Other seats , cushioned to match , dawned on [me]_1815-i by degrees ; and at last [I]_1815-i took in the complete fact of [a pleasant parlour]_{5538-a pleasant parlour} , with a wood fire on a clear - shining hearth , a carpet where arabesques of bright blue relieved a ground of shaded fawn ; pale walls over which a slight but endless garland of azure forget - [me]_1815-i - nots ran mazed and bewildered amongst myriad gold leaves and tendrils . A gilded mirror filled up the space between two windows , curtained amply with blue damask . In this mirror [I]_1815-i saw [myself]_1815-i laid , not in bed , but on a sofa . [I]_1815-i looked spectral ; [my]_1815-i eyes larger and more hollow , [my]_1815-i hair darker than was natural , by contrast with [my]_1815-i thin and ashen face . It was obvious , not only from the furniture , but from the position of windows , doors , and fireplace , that this was [an unknown room in [an unknown house]_{5540-an unknown house}]_{5539-an unknown room in an unknown house} . Hardly less plain was it that [my]_1815-i brain was not yet settled ; for , as [I]_1815-i gazed at the blue arm - chair , it appeared to grow familiar ; so did a certain scroll - couch , and not less so the round centre - table , with a blue - covering , bordered with autumn - tinted foliage ; and , above all , two little footstools with worked covers , and a small ebony - framed chair , of which the seat and back were also worked with groups of brilliant flowers on a dark ground . Struck with these things , [I]_1815-i explored further . Strange to say , [old acquaintance]_{650-old acquaintance} were all about [me]_1815-i , and "_[1815-i] auld lang syne " smiled out of [every nook]_{5542-every nook} . There were two oval miniatures over the mantel - piece , of which [I]_1815-i knew by heart the pearls about the high and powdered "_[1815-i] heads ; " the velvets circling the white throats ; the swell of the full muslin kerchiefs : the pattern of the lace sleeve - ruffles . Upon the mantel- shelf there were two china vases , some relics of a diminutive tea- service , as smooth as enamel and as thin as egg - shell , and a white centre ornament , a classic group in alabaster , preserved under glass . Of all these things [I]_1815-i could have told the peculiarities , numbered the flaws or cracks , like any clairvoyante . Above all , there was a pair of handscreens , with elaborate pencil - drawings finished like line engravings ; these , [my]_1815-i very eyes ached at beholding again , recalling hours when [they]_{650-old acquaintance} had followed , stroke by stroke and touch by touch , a tedious , feeble , finical , school - girl pencil held in these fingers , now so skeleton - like . Where was [I]_1815-i ? Not only in [what spot of [the world]_{811-the world}]_{5543-what spot of the world} , but in what year of [[our]_5545-our Lord]_{5546-our lord} ? For all these objects were of past days , and of [a distant country]_{5547-a distant country} . Ten years ago [I]_1815-i bade [them]_{650-old acquaintance} good - by ; since [my]_1815-i fourteenth year [they]_{650-old acquaintance} and [I]_1815-i had never met . [I]_1815-i gasped audibly , "_[1815-i] Where am [I]_0-i ? " A shape hitherto unnoticed , stirred , rose , came forward : a shape inharmonious with the environment , serving only to complicate the riddle further . This was no more than a sort of native bonne , in [a common - place bonne]_{5548-a common - place bonne} 's cap and print - dress . [She]_5549-she spoke neither French nor English , and [I]_0-i could get no intelligence from [her]_5549-she , not understanding [her]_5549-she phrases of dialect . But [she]_5549-she bathed [my]_0-i temples and forehead with some cool and perfumed water , and then [she]_5549-she heightened the cushion on which [I]_0-i reclined , made signs that [I]_0-i was not to speak , and resumed [her]_5549-she post at the foot of the sofa . [She]_5549-she was busy knitting ; [her]_5549-she eyes thus drawn from [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i could gaze on [her]_5549-she without interruption . [I]_0-i did mightily wonder how [she]_5549-she came [there]_512-there , or what [she]_5549-she could have to do among the scenes , or with the days of [my]_0-i girlhood . Still more [I]_0-i marvelled what those scenes and days could now have to do with [me]_0-i . Too weak to scrutinize thoroughly the mystery , [I]_0-i tried to settle it by saying it was a mistake , a dream , a fever - fit ; and yet [I]_0-i knew there could be no mistake , and that [I]_0-i was not sleeping , and [I]_0-i believed [I]_0-i was sane . [I]_0-i wished [the room]_{600-the room} had not been so well lighted , that [I]_0-i might not so clearly have seen the little pictures , the ornaments , the screens , the worked chair . All these objects , as well as the blue - damask furniture , were , in fact , precisely the same , in every minutest detail , with those [I]_0-i so well remembered , and with which [I]_0-i had been so thoroughly intimate , in the drawing - room of [[[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} 's house at [Bretton]_135-graham]_{5553-my godmother 's house at bretton} . Methought [the apartment]_{5554-the apartment} only was changed , being of different proportions and dimensions . [I]_0-i thought of [Bedreddin Hassan]_{280-bedreddin hassan} , transported in [his]_{280-bedreddin hassan} sleep from [Cairo]_64-cairo to [the gates of [Damascus]_65-damascus]_{5555-the gates of damascus} . Had [a Genius]_{5556-a genius} stooped [his]_{280-bedreddin hassan} dark wing down the storm to whose stress [I]_0-i had succumbed , and gathering [me]_0-i from the church - steps , and "_[0-i] rising high into the air , " as the eastern tale said , had [he]_{280-bedreddin hassan} borne [me]_0-i over [land]_4581-land and [ocean]_5558-ocean , and laid [me]_0-i quietly down beside [a hearth of [Old England]_{53-old england}]_{5559-a hearth of old england} ? But no ; [I]_0-i knew the fire of that hearth burned before [its Lares]_{67-its lares} no more - it went out long ago , and the household gods had been carried elsewhere . [The bonne]_{1207-the bonne} turned again to survey [me]_0-i , and seeing [my]_0-i eyes wide open , and , [I]_0-i suppose , deeming [their]_5561-their expression perturbed and excited , [she]_{1207-the bonne} put down [her]_{1207-the bonne} knitting . [I]_0-i saw [her]_{1207-the bonne} busied for a moment at a little stand ; [she]_{1207-the bonne} poured out water , and measured drops from a phial : glass in hand , [she]_{1207-the bonne} approached [me]_0-i . What dark - tinged draught might [she]_{1207-the bonne} now be offering ? what Genii - elixir or Magi - distillation ? It was too late to inquire - [I]_0-i had swallowed it passively , and at once . A tide of quiet thought now came gently caressing [my]_0-i brain ; softer and softer rose the flow , with tepid undulations smoother than balm . The pain of weakness left [my]_0-i limbs , [my]_0-i muscles slept . [I]_0-i lost power to move ; but , losing at the same time wish , it was no privation . [That kind bonne]_{5562-that kind bonne} placed a screen between [me]_0-i and the lamp ; [I]_0-i saw [her]_{1207-the bonne} rise to do this , but do not remember seeing [her]_{1207-the bonne} resume [her]_{1207-the bonne} place : in the interval between the two acts , [I]_0-i "_[0-i] fell on sleep . " At waking , [lo]_5563-lo ! all was again changed . The light of high day surrounded [me]_0-i ; not , indeed , a warm , summer light , but the leaden gloom of raw and blustering autumn . [I]_0-i felt sure now that [I]_0-i was in [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat} - sure by the beating rain on the casement ; sure by the "_[0-i] wuther " of wind amongst trees , denoting [a garden outside]_{5565-a garden outside} ; sure by the chill , the whiteness , the solitude , amidst which [I]_0-i lay . [I]_0-i say whiteness - for the dimity curtains , dropped before a French bed , bounded [my]_0-i view . [I]_0-i lifted them ; [I]_0-i looked out . [My]_0-i eye , prepared to take in the range of [a long , large , and whitewashed chamber]_{5566-a long , large , and whitewashed chamber} , blinked baffled , on encountering the limited area of a small cabinet - a cabinet with seagreen walls ; also , instead of five wide and naked windows , there was one high lattice , shaded with muslin festoons : instead of two dozen little stands of painted wood , each holding a basin and an ewer , there was a toilette - table dressed , like [a lady for a ball]_{5567-a lady for a ball} , in a white robe over a pink skirt ; a polished and large glass crowned , and a pretty pin - cushion frilled with lace , adorned it . This toilette , together with a small , low , green and white chintz arm - chair , a washstand topped with a marble slab , and supplied with utensils of pale greenware , sufficiently furnished [the tiny chamber]_{5568-the tiny chamber} . [Reader]_281-reader ; [I]_0-i felt alarmed ! Why ? [you]_281-reader will ask . What was there in [this simple and somewhat pretty sleeping - closet]_{5569-this simple and somewhat pretty sleeping - closet} to startle the most timid ? Merely this - These articles of furniture could not be real , solid arm- chairs , looking - glasses , and washstands - they must be the ghosts of such articles ; or , if this were denied as too wild an hypothesis - and , confounded as [I]_0-i was , [I]_0-i did deny it - there remained but to conclude that [I]_0-i had [myself]_0-i passed into an abnormal state of mind ; in short , that [I]_0-i was very ill and delirious : and even then , [mine]_0-i was the strangest figment with which delirium had ever harassed [a victim]_{5570-a victim} . [I]_0-i knew - [I]_0-i was obliged to know - the green chintz of that little chair ; the little snug chair itself , the carved , shining - black , foliated frame of that glass ; the smooth , milky - green of the china vessels on the stand ; the very stand too , with [its]_5571-its top of grey marble , splintered at one corner ; - all these [I]_0-i was compelled to recognise and to hail , as last night [I]_0-i had , perforce , recognised and hailed the rosewood , the drapery , the porcelain , of [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} . [Bretton]_135-graham ! [Bretton]_135-graham ! and ten years ago shone reflected in that mirror . And why did [Bretton]_135-graham and [my]_0-i fourteenth year haunt [me]_0-i thus ? Why , if [they]_5573-they came at all , did [they]_5573-they not return complete ? Why hovered before [my]_0-i distempered vision the mere furniture , while [the rooms]_{5260-the rooms} and [the locality]_{5575-the locality} were gone ? As to that pincushion made of crimson satin , ornamented with gold beads and frilled with thread - lace , [I]_0-i had the same right to know it as to know the screens - [I]_0-i had made it [myself]_0-i . Rising with a start from the bed , [I]_0-i took the cushion in [my]_0-i hand and examined it . There was the cipher "_[0-i] L. L. B. " formed in gold beds , and surrounded with an oval wreath embroidered in white silk . These were the initials of [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} 's name - [Lonisa Lucy Bretton]_{282-lonisa lucy bretton} . "_[0-i] Am [I]_0-i in [England]_19-england ? Am [I]_0-i at [Bretton]_135-graham ? " [I]_0-i muttered ; and hastily pulling up the blind with which the lattice was shrouded , [I]_0-i looked out to try and discover where [I]_0-i was ; half - prepared to meet [the calm , old , handsome buildings and clean grey pavement of [St. Ann 's Street]_{68-st. ann 's street}]_{5577-the calm , old , handsome buildings and clean grey pavement of st. ann 's street} , and to see at the end [the towers of [the minster]_{5579-the minster}]_{5578-the towers of the minster} : or , if otherwise , fully expectant of [a town]_{5411-a town} view somewhere , [a rue in [Villette]_3-villette]_{5581-a rue in villette} , if not [a street in [a pleasant and ancient English city]_{5583-a pleasant and ancient english city}]_{5582-a street in a pleasant and ancient english city} . [I]_0-i looked , on the contrary , through a frame of leafage , clustering round the high lattice , and forth thence to a grassy mead - like level , [a lawn - terrace with trees rising from the lower ground beyond - high forest - trees , such as [I]_0-i had not seen for many a day]_{5584-a lawn - terrace with trees rising from the lower ground beyond - high forest - trees , such as i had not seen for many a day} . [They]_5585-they were now groaning under the gale of October , and between [their]_5585-they trunks [I]_0-i traced the line of [an avenue]_{5586-an avenue} , where yellow leaves lay in heaps and drifts , or were whirled singly before the sweeping west wind . [Whatever landscape]_{5587-whatever landscape} might lie further must have been flat , and these tall beeches shut it out . [The place]_{5129-the place} seemed secluded , and was to [me]_0-i quite strange : [I]_0-i did not know it at all . Once more [I]_0-i lay down . [My]_0-i bed stood in a little alcove ; on turning [my]_0-i face to the wall , [the room]_{600-the room} with [its]_{600-the room} bewildering accompaniments became excluded . Excluded ? No ! For as [I]_0-i arranged [my]_0-i position in this hope , behold , on the green space between the divided and looped - up curtains , hung a broad , gilded picture - frame enclosing a portrait . It was drawn - well drawn , though but a sketch - in water - colours ; a head , [a boy]_{4374-a boy} 's head , fresh , life - like , speaking , and animated . [It]_5591-it seemed [a youth of sixteen]_{5592-a youth of sixteen} , fair - complexioned , with sanguine health in [his]_{5592-a youth of sixteen} cheek ; hair long , not dark , and with a sunny sheen ; penetrating eyes , an arch mouth , and a gay smile . On the whole a most pleasant face to look at , especially for , [those claiming a right to that youth]_{5593-those claiming a right to that youth} 's affections - [parents]_1307-parents , for instance , or [sisters]_5595-sisters . [Any romantic little school - girl]_{5596-any romantic little school - girl} might almost have loved it in its frame . Those eyes looked as if when somewhat older [they]_5597-they would flash a lightning - response to love : [I]_0-i can not tell whether [they]_5597-they kept in store the steady - beaming shine of faith . For whatever sentiment met [him]_{5592-a youth of sixteen} in form too facile , [his]_{5592-a youth of sixteen} lips menaced , beautifully but surely , caprice and light esteem . Striving to take each new discovery as quietly as [I]_0-i could , [I]_0-i whispered to [myself]_0-i - "_[0-i] Ah ! that portrait used to hang in [the breakfast - room]_{4229-the breakfast - room} , over the mantel - piece : somewhat too high , as [I]_0-i thought . [I]_0-i well remember how [I]_0-i used to mount a music - stool for the purpose of unhooking it , holding it in [my]_0-i hand , and searching into those bonny wells of eyes , whose glance under [their]_1817-their hazel lashes seemed like a pencilled laugh ; and well [I]_0-i liked to note the colouring of the cheek , and the expression of the mouth . " [I]_0-i hardly believed [fancy]_5598-fancy could improve on the curve of that mouth , or of the chin ; even [my]_0-i ignorance knew that both were beautiful , and pondered perplexed over this doubt : "_[0-i] How it was that what charmed so much , could at the same time so keenly pain ? " Once , by way of test , [I]_0-i took [little Missy Home]_138-missy , and , lifting [her]_138-missy in [my]_0-i arms , told [her]_138-missy to look at the picture . "_[0-i] Do [you]_1818-i like it , [Polly]_{204-modeste maria beck} ? " [I]_0-i asked . [She]_138-missy never answered , but gazed long , and at last a darkness went trembling through [her]_138-missy sensitive eye , as [she]_138-missy said , "_[0-i] Put [me]_0-i down . " So [I]_0-i put [her]_138-missy down , saying to [myself]_0-i : "_[0-i] [The child]_{4206-the child} feels it too . " All these things do [I]_{4206-the child} now think over , adding , "_{[4206-the child]} [He]_{4206-the child} had [his]_{4206-the child} faults , yet scarce ever was a finer nature ; liberal , suave , impressible . " [My]_135-graham reflections closed in an audibly pronounced word , "_[135-graham] [Graham]_135-graham ! " "_[135-graham] [Graham]_135-graham ! " echoed a sudden voice at the bedside . "_[135-graham] Do [you]_1818-i want [Graham]_135-graham ? " [I]_1818-i looked . The plot was but thickening ; the wonder but culminating . If it was strange to see that well - remembered pictured form on the wall , still stranger was it to turn and behold [the equally well - remembered living form opposite]_{5599-the equally well - remembered living form opposite} - [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , [a lady , most real and substantial]_{5601-a lady , most real and substantial} , tall , well - attired , wearing [widow]_5602-widow 's silk , and such a cap as best became [[her]_138-missy matron]_{5603-her matron} and motherly braids of hair . [Hers]_138-missy , too , was a good face ; too marked , perhaps , now for beauty , but not for sense or character . [She]_138-missy was little changed ; something sterner , something more robust - but [she]_138-missy was [[my]_1818-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} : still the distinct vision of [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . [I]_1818-i kept quiet , yet internally [I]_1818-i was much agitated : [my]_1818-i pulse fluttered , and the blood left [my]_1818-i cheek , which turned cold . "_[1818-i] [Madam]_4242-madam , where am [I]_0-i ? " [I]_1818-i inquired . "_[1818-i] In [a very safe asylum]_{1821-a very safe asylum} ; well protected for the present ; make [your]_4242-madam mind quite easy till [you]_4242-madam get a little better ; [you]_4242-madam look ill this morning . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am so entirely bewildered , [I]_0-i do not know whether [I]_0-i can trust [my]_0-i senses at all , or whether [they]_1822-they are misleading [me]_0-i in every particular : but [you]_4242-madam speak English , do [you]_4242-madam not , [madam]_4242-madam ? " "_[4242-madam] [I]_0-i should think [you]_4242-madam might hear that : it would puzzle [me]_0-i to hold a long discourse in French . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i do not come from [England]_19-england ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am lately arrived thence . Have [you]_0-i been long in [this country]_{1824-this country} ? [You]_0-i seem to know [[my]_0-i son]_{1825-my son} ? " "_[0-i] Do , [I]_0-i , [madam]_4242-madam ? Perhaps [I]_0-i do . [[Your]_0-i son]_{700-your son} - the picture there ? " "_{[700-your son]} That is [his]_{700-your son} portrait as [a youth]_{1828-a youth} . While looking at it , [you]_4242-madam pronounced [his]_{700-your son} name . " "_[4242-madam] [Graham Bretton]_135-graham ? " [She]_4242-madam nodded . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i speak to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , formerly of [Bretton]_135-graham , - - shire ? " "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} Quite right ; and [you]_0-i , [I]_0-i am told , are [an English teacher in [a foreign school]_{4790-a foreign school} [here]_4212-here]_{1829-an english teacher in a foreign school here} : [[my]_0-i son]_{1825-my son} recognised [you]_0-i as such . " "_{[1825-my son]} How was [I]_0-i found , [madam]_4242-madam , and by whom ? " "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i son]_{1825-my son} shall tell [you]_0-i that by - and - by , " said [she]_4242-madam ; "_{[1825-my son]} but at present [you]_0-i are too confused and weak for conversation : try to eat some breakfast , and then sleep . " Notwithstanding all [I]_{1825-my son} had undergone - the bodily fatigue , the perturbation of spirits , the exposure to weather - it seemed that [I]_{1825-my son} was better : the fever , the real malady which had oppressed [my]_{1825-my son} frame , was abating ; for , whereas during the last nine days [I]_{1825-my son} had taken no solid food , and suffered from continual thirst , this morning , on breakfast being offered , [I]_{1825-my son} experienced a craving for nourishment : an inward faintness which caused [me]_{1825-my son} eagerly to taste the tea [this lady]_{1053-this lady} offered , and to eat the morsel of dry toast [she]_{1053-this lady} allowed in accompaniment . It was only a morsel , but it sufficed ; keeping up [my]_{1825-my son} strength till some two or three hours afterwards , when [the bonne]_{1207-the bonne} brought [me]_{1825-my son} a little cup of broth and a biscuit . As evening began to darken , and the ceaseless blast still blew wild and cold , and the rain streamed on , deluge - like , [I]_{1825-my son} grew weary - very weary of [my]_{1825-my son} bed . [The room]_{600-the room} , though pretty , was small : [I]_{1825-my son} felt it confining : [I]_{1825-my son} longed for a change . The increasing chill and gathering gloom , too , depressed [me]_{1825-my son} ; [I]_{1825-my son} wanted to see - to feel firelight . Besides , [I]_{1825-my son} kept thinking of [the son of [that tall matron]_{5609-that tall matron}]_{5608-the son of that tall matron} : when should [I]_{1825-my son} see [him]_{5608-the son of that tall matron} ? Certainly not till [I]_{1825-my son} left [[my]_{1825-my son} room]_{1110-my room} . At last [the bonne]_{1207-the bonne} came to make [my]_{1825-my son} bed for the night . [She]_{1207-the bonne} prepared to wrap [me]_{1825-my son} in a blanket and place [me]_{1825-my son} in the little chintz chair ; but , declining these attentions , [I]_{1825-my son} proceeded to dress [myself]_{1825-my son} : The business was just achieved , and [I]_{1825-my son} was sitting down to take breath , when [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} once more appeared . "_{[1825-my son]} Dressed ! " [she]_{1207-the bonne} exclaimed , smiling with that smile [I]_{1825-my son} so well knew - a pleasant smile , though not soft . "_{[1825-my son]} [You]_1835-i are quite better then ? Quite strong - eh ? " [She]_{1207-the bonne} spoke to [me]_1835-i so much as of old [she]_{1207-the bonne} used to speak that [I]_1835-i almost fancied [she]_{1207-the bonne} was beginning to know [me]_1835-i . There was the same sort of patronage in [her]_{1207-the bonne} voice and manner that , as [a girl]_{517-a girl} , [I]_1835-i had always experienced from [her]_{1207-the bonne} - a patronage [I]_1835-i yielded to and even liked ; it was not founded on conventional grounds of superior wealth or station in the last particular there had never been any inequality ; [her]_{1207-the bonne} degree was mine ; but on natural reasons of physical advantage : it was the shelter the tree gives the herb . [I]_1835-i put a request without further ceremony . "_[1835-i] Do let [me]_0-i go down - [stairs]_593-stairs , [madam]_4242-madam ; [I]_0-i am so cold and dull here . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i desire nothing better , if [you]_1835-i are strong enough to bear the change , " was [her]_{1207-the bonne} reply . "_[1835-i] Come then ; here is an arm . " And [she]_{1207-the bonne} offered [me]_1835-i [hers]_{1207-the bonne} : [I]_1835-i took it , and [we]_5613-we descended one flight of carpeted steps to a landing where a tall door , standing open , gave admission into [the blue - damask room]_{5614-the blue - damask room} . How pleasant [it]_{5614-the blue - damask room} was in [its]_{5614-the blue - damask room} air of perfect domestic comfort ! How warm in [its]_{5614-the blue - damask room} amber lamp - light and vermilion fire - flush ! To render the picture perfect , tea stood ready on the table - an English tea , whereof the whole shining service glanced at [me]_1835-i familiarly ; from the solid silver urn , of antique pattern , and the massive pot of the same metal , to the thin porcelain cups , dark with purple and gilding . [I]_1835-i knew the very seed - cake of peculiar form , baked in a peculiar mould , which always had a place on the tea - table at [Bretton]_135-graham . [Graham]_135-graham liked it , and there it was as of yore - set before [Graham]_135-graham 's plate with the silver knife and fork beside it . [Graham]_135-graham was then expected to tea : [Graham]_135-graham was now , perhaps , in [the house]_{518-the house} ; ere many minutes [I]_1835-i might see [him]_135-graham . "_[1835-i] Sit down - sit down , " said [[my]_1838-i conductress]_{5616-my conductress} , as [my]_1838-i step faltered a little in passing to the hearth . [She]_{5616-my conductress} seated [me]_1838-i on the sofa , but [I]_1838-i soon passed behind [it]_{5614-the blue - damask room} , saying the fire was too hot ; in its shade [I]_1838-i found another seat which suited [me]_1838-i better . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} was never wo nt to make a fuss about [any person]_{5617-any person} or anything ; without remonstrance [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} suffered [me]_1838-i to have [my]_1838-i own way . [She]_{5616-my conductress} made the tea , and [she]_{5616-my conductress} took up the newspaper . [I]_1838-i liked to watch every action of [[my]_1838-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} ; all [her]_{5616-my conductress} movements were so young : [she]_{5616-my conductress} must have been now above fifty , yet neither [her]_{5616-my conductress} sinews nor [her]_{5616-my conductress} spirit seemed yet touched by the rust of age . Though portly , [she]_{5616-my conductress} was alert , and though serene , [she]_{5616-my conductress} was at times impetuous - good health and an excellent temperament kept [her]_{5616-my conductress} green as in [her]_{5616-my conductress} spring . While [she]_{5616-my conductress} read , [I]_1838-i perceived [she]_{5616-my conductress} listened - listened for [[her]_{5616-my conductress} son]_{532-her son} . [She]_{5616-my conductress} was not the woman ever to confess [herself]_{5616-my conductress} uneasy , but there was yet no lull in the weather , and if [Graham]_135-graham were out in that hoarse wind - roaring still unsatisfied - [I]_1838-i well knew [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's heart would be out with [him]_135-graham . "_[1838-i] Ten minutes behind [his]_1838-i time , " said [she]_{5616-my conductress} , looking at [her]_{5616-my conductress} watch ; then , in another minute , a lifting of [her]_{5616-my conductress} eyes from the page , and a slight inclination of [her]_{5616-my conductress} head towards the door , denoted that [she]_{5616-my conductress} heard some sound . Presently [her]_{5616-my conductress} brow cleared ; and then even [my]_1838-i ear , less practised , caught the iron clash of a gate swung to , steps on gravel , lastly the door - bell . [He]_135-graham was come . [[His]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} filled the teapot from the urn , [she]_{5616-my conductress} drew nearer the hearth the stuffed and cushioned blue chair - [her]_{5616-my conductress} own chair by right , but [I]_1838-i saw there was one who might with impunity usurp it . And when [that one]_{5622-that one} came up the stairs - which [he]_135-graham soon did , after , [I]_1838-i suppose , some such attention to the toilet as the wild and wet night rendered necessary , and strode straight in - "_[1838-i] Is it [you]_1838-i , [Graham]_135-graham ? " said [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} , hiding a glad smile and speaking curtly . "_[1838-i] Who else should it be , [mamma]_4272-mamma ? " demanded the Unpunctual , possessing [himself]_135-graham irreverently of the abdicated throne . "_[4272-mamma] Do n't [you]_1838-i deserve cold tea , for being late ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall not get [my]_0-i deserts , for [the urn]_{1840-the urn} sings cheerily . " "_{[1840-the urn]} Wheel [yourself]_1838-i to the table , [lazy boy]_{1841-lazy boy} : no seat will serve [you]_1838-i but [mine]_0-i ; if [you]_1838-i had one spark of a sense of propriety , [you]_1838-i would always leave that chair for [the Old Lady]_{1842-the old lady} . " "_{[1842-the old lady]} So [I]_0-i should ; only [the dear Old Lady]_{1843-the dear old lady} persists in leaving it for [me]_0-i . How is [[your]_1838-i patient]_{1844-your patient} , [mamma]_4272-mamma ? " "_[4272-mamma] Will [she]_{1844-your patient} come forward and speak for [herself]_{1844-your patient} ? " said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , turning to [my]_{1844-your patient} corner ; and at this invitation , forward [I]_{1844-your patient} came . [Graham]_135-graham courteously rose up to greet [me]_{1844-your patient} . [He]_135-graham stood tall on the hearth , a figure justifying [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's unconcealed pride . "_{[1844-your patient]} So [you]_4272-mamma are come down , " said [he]_0-i ; "_[4272-mamma] [you]_4272-mamma must be better then - much better . [I]_0-i scarcely expected [we]_1846-we should meet thus , or here . [I]_0-i was alarmed last night , and if [I]_0-i had not been forced to hurry away to [a dying patient]_{1847-a dying patient} , [I]_0-i certainly would not have left [you]_4272-mamma ; but [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} [herself]_{4268-my mother} is something of [a doctress]_{1849-a doctress} , and [Martha an excellent nurse]_{1850-martha an excellent nurse} . [I]_0-i saw the case was a fainting - fit , not necessarily dangerous . What brought it on , [I]_0-i have yet to learn , and all particulars ; meantime , [I]_0-i trust [you]_4272-mamma really do feel better ? " "_[4272-mamma] Much better , " [I]_4272-mamma said calmly . "_[4272-mamma] Much better , [I]_0-i thank [you]_4272-mamma , [Dr. John]_135-graham . " For , [reader]_4604-reader , [this tall young man]_{5626-this tall young man} - [this darling son]_{5627-this darling son} - [this host of [mine]_4272-mamma]_{5628-this host of mine} - this [Graham Bretton]_135-graham , was [Dr. John]_135-graham : [he]_135-graham , and [no other]_{5629-no other} ; and , what is more , [I]_135-graham ascertained this identity scarcely with surprise . What is more , when [I]_135-graham heard [Graham]_135-graham 's step on the stairs , [I]_135-graham knew what manner of figure would enter , and for whose aspect to prepare [my]_135-graham eyes . The discovery was not of to - day , its dawn had penetrated [my]_135-graham perceptions long since . Of course [I]_135-graham remembered [young Bretton]_135-graham well ; and though ten years from sixteen to twenty - six may greatly change [the boy]_{880-the boy} as [they]_5631-they mature [him]_{880-the boy} to [the man]_{4959-the man} , yet [they]_5631-they could bring no such utter difference as would suffice wholly to blind [my]_135-graham eyes , or baffle [my]_135-graham memory . [Dr. John Graham Bretton]_135-graham retained still an affinity to [the youth of sixteen]_{5633-the youth of sixteen} : [he]_135-graham had [his]_135-graham eyes ; [he]_135-graham had some of [his]_135-graham features ; to wit , all the excellently - moulded lower half of the face ; [I]_135-graham found [him]_135-graham out soon . [I]_135-graham first recognised [him]_135-graham on that occasion , noted several chapters back , when [my]_135-graham unguardedly - fixed attention had drawn on [me]_135-graham the mortification of an implied rebuke . Subsequent observation confirmed , in every point , that early surmise . [I]_135-graham traced in the gesture , the port , and the habits of [his]_135-graham manhood , all [[his]_135-graham boy]_{5634-his boy} 's promise . [I]_135-graham heard in [his]_135-graham now deep tones the accent of former days . Certain turns of phrase , peculiar to [him]_135-graham of old , were peculiar to [him]_135-graham still ; and so was many a trick of eye and lip , many a smile , many a sudden ray levelled from the irid , under [his]_135-graham well - charactered brow . To say anything on the subject , to hint at [my]_135-graham discovery , had not suited [my]_135-graham habits of thought , or assimilated with [my]_135-graham system of feeling . On the contrary , [I]_135-graham had preferred to keep the matter to [myself]_135-graham . [I]_135-graham liked entering [his]_135-graham presence covered with a cloud [he]_135-graham had not seen through , while [he]_135-graham stood before [me]_135-graham under a ray of special illumination which shone all partial over [his]_135-graham head , trembled about [his]_135-graham feet , and cast light no farther . Well [I]_135-graham knew that to [him]_135-graham it could make little difference , were [I]_135-graham to come forward and announce , "_[135-graham] This is [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy ! " So [I]_1851-miss kept back in [[[my]_1851-miss teacher]_{5635-my teacher} 's place]_{5636-my teacher 's place} ; and as [he]_135-graham never asked [my]_1851-miss name , so [I]_1851-miss never gave it . [He]_135-graham heard [me]_1851-miss called "_[1851-miss] [Miss]_1851-miss , " and "_[142-lucy] [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy ; " [he]_135-graham never heard the surname , "_[142-lucy] [Snowe]_142-lucy . " As to spontaneous recognition - though [I]_142-lucy , perhaps , was still less changed than [he]_135-graham - the idea never approached [his]_135-graham mind , and why should [I]_142-lucy suggest it ? During tea , [Dr. John]_135-graham was kind , as it was [his]_135-graham nature to be ; that meal over , and the tray carried out , [he]_135-graham made a cosy arrangement of the cushions in a corner of the sofa , and obliged [me]_142-lucy to settle amongst them . [He]_135-graham and [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} also drew to the fire , and ere [we]_5638-we had sat ten minutes , [I]_142-lucy caught the eye of the latter fastened steadily upon [me]_142-lucy . [Women]_4398-women are certainly quicker in some things than [men]_4397-men . "_[142-lucy] Well , " [she]_{534-his mother} exclaimed , presently , "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i have seldom seen a stronger likeness ! [Graham]_135-graham , have [you]_135-graham observed it ? " "_[135-graham] Observed what ? What ails [the Old Lady]_{283-the old lady} now ? How [you]_135-graham stare , [mamma]_4272-mamma ! [One]_607-one would think [you]_135-graham had an attack of second sight . " "_[607-one] Tell [me]_0-i , [Graham]_135-graham , of whom does [that young lady]_{4227-that young lady} remind [you]_135-graham ? " pointing to [me]_135-graham . "_[135-graham] [Mamma]_150-mamma , [you]_135-graham put [her]_{4227-that young lady} out of countenance . [I]_0-i often tell [you]_135-graham abruptness is [your]_135-graham fault ; remember , too , that to [you]_135-graham [she]_{4227-that young lady} is [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} , and does not know [your]_135-graham ways . " "_{[4227-that young lady]} Now , when [she]_{4227-that young lady} looks down ; now , when [she]_{4227-that young lady} turns sideways , who is [she]_{4227-that young lady} like , [Graham]_135-graham ? " "_{[4227-that young lady]} Indeed , [mamma]_4272-mamma , since [you]_135-graham propound the riddle , [I]_0-i think [you]_135-graham ought to solve it ! " "_[135-graham] And [you]_135-graham have known [her]_{4227-that young lady} some time , [you]_135-graham say - ever since [you]_135-graham first began to attend [the school in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette}]_{1857-the school in the rue fossette} : - yet [you]_135-graham never mentioned to [me]_0-i that singular resemblance ! " "_[135-graham] [I]_0-i could not mention a thing of which [I]_0-i never thought , and which [I]_0-i do not now acknowledge . What can [you]_135-graham mean ? " "_[135-graham] [Stupid boy]_{1858-stupid boy} ! look at [her]_{4227-that young lady} . " [Graham]_135-graham did look : but this was not to be endured ; [I]_{4227-that young lady} saw how it must end , so [I]_{4227-that young lady} thought it best to anticipate . "_{[4227-that young lady]} [Dr. John]_135-graham , " [I]_135-graham said , "_[135-graham] has had so much to do and think of , since [he]_135-graham and [I]_0-i shook hands at [our]_1859-our last parting in [St. Ann 's Street]_{68-st. ann 's street} , that , while [I]_0-i readily found out [Mr. Graham Bretton]_135-graham , some months ago , it never occurred to [me]_0-i as possible that [he]_135-graham should recognise [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy . " "_[142-lucy] [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy ! [I]_0-i thought so ! [I]_0-i knew it ! " cried [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . And [she]_{4227-that young lady} at once stepped across the hearth and kissed [me]_150-mamma . [Some ladies]_{5641-some ladies} would , perhaps , have made a great bustle upon such a discovery without being particularly glad of it ; but it was not [[my]_150-mamma godmother]_{506-my godmother} 's habit to make a bustle , and [she]_{4227-that young lady} preferred all sentimental demonstrations in bas- relief . So [she]_{4227-that young lady} and [I]_150-mamma got over the surprise with few words and a single salute ; yet [I]_150-mamma daresay [she]_{4227-that young lady} was pleased , and [I]_150-mamma know [I]_150-mamma was . While [we]_5643-we renewed old acquaintance , [Graham]_135-graham , sitting opposite , silently disposed of [his]_0-i paroxysm of astonishment . "_[150-mamma] [Mamma]_150-mamma calls [me]_0-i [a stupid boy]_{1860-a stupid boy} , and [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i am so , " at length [he]_0-i said ; "_[0-i] for , upon [my]_0-i honour , often as [I]_0-i have seen [you]_1861-you , [I]_0-i never once suspected this fact : and yet [I]_0-i perceive it all now . [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy ! To be sure ! [I]_0-i recollect [her]_142-lucy perfectly , and there [she]_142-lucy sits ; not a doubt of it . But , " [he]_0-i added , "_[1861-you] [you]_1861-you surely have not known [me]_0-i as [an old acquaintance]_{1862-an old acquaintance} all this time , and never mentioned it . " "_[1861-you] That [I]_0-i have , " was [my]_0-i answer . [Dr. John]_135-graham commented not . [I]_0-i supposed [he]_135-graham regarded [my]_0-i silence as eccentric , but [he]_135-graham was indulgent in refraining from censure . [I]_0-i daresay , too , [he]_135-graham would have deemed it impertinent to have interrogated [me]_0-i very closely , to have asked [me]_0-i the why and wherefore of [my]_0-i reserve ; and , though [he]_135-graham might feel a little curious , the importance of the case was by no means such as to tempt curiosity to infringe on discretion . For [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i just ventured to inquire whether [he]_135-graham remembered the circumstance of [my]_0-i once looking at [him]_135-graham very fixedly ; for the slight annoyance [he]_135-graham had betrayed on that occasion still lingered sore on [my]_0-i mind . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i do ! " said [he]_135-graham : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i was even cross with [you]_1863-you . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i considered [me]_0-i a little bold ; perhaps ? " [I]_0-i inquired . "_[0-i] Not at all . Only , shy and retiring as [your]_1863-you general manner was , [I]_0-i wondered what personal or facial enormity in [me]_0-i proved so magnetic to [your]_1863-you usually averted eyes . " "_[1863-you] [You]_1863-you see how it was now ? " "_[1863-you] Perfectly . " And here [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} broke in with many , many questions about past times ; and for [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} satisfaction [I]_1863-you had to recur to gone - by troubles , to explain causes of seeming estrangement , to touch on single - handed conflict with Life , with Death , with Grief , with Fate . [Dr. John]_135-graham listened , saying little . [He]_135-graham and [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} then told [me]_1863-you of changes [they]_5644-they had known : even with [them]_5644-they all had not gone smoothly , and fortune had retrenched [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} once abundant gifts . But so courageous [a mother]_{4301-a mother} , with such a champion in [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} , was well fitted to fight a good fight with [the world]_{811-the world} , and to prevail ultimately . [Dr. John]_135-graham [himself]_135-graham was one of [those on whose birth benign planets]_{5648-those on whose birth benign planets} have certainly smiled . Adversity might set against [him]_135-graham [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} most sullen front : [he]_135-graham was the man to beat [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} down with smiles . Strong and cheerful , and firm and courteous ; not rash , yet valiant ; [he]_135-graham was the aspirant to woo [Destiny]_235-destiny [herself]_235-destiny , and to win from [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} stone eyeballs a beam almost loving . In the profession [he]_135-graham had adopted , [his]_135-graham success was now quite decided . Within the last three months [he]_135-graham had taken [this house]_{5145-this house} [a small chateau]_{5650-a small chateau} , [they]_5651-they told [me]_1863-you , about half a league without [the Porte de Crecy]_{5652-the porte de crecy} ; [this country site]_{5653-this country site} being chosen for the sake of [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's health , with which [town]_4930-town air did not now agree . Hither [he]_135-graham had invited [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , and [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} , on leaving [England]_19-england , had brought with [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} such residue furniture of [the former St. Ann 's Street mansion]_{5656-the former st. ann 's street mansion} as [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had thought fit to keep unsold . Hence [my]_1863-you bewilderment at the phantoms of chairs , and the wraiths of looking - glasses , tea - urns , and teacups . As the clock struck eleven , [Dr. John]_135-graham stopped [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} . "_[1863-you] [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy must retire now , " [he]_135-graham said ; ' [she]_142-lucy is beginning to look very pale . To - morrow [I]_1864-i will venture to put some questions respecting the cause of [her]_142-lucy loss of health . [She]_142-lucy is much changed , indeed , since last July , when [I]_1864-i saw [her]_142-lucy enact with no little spirit the part of [a very killing fine gentleman]_{5658-a very killing fine gentleman} . As to last night 's catastrophe , [I]_1864-i am sure thereby hangs a tale , but [we]_5659-we will inquire no further this evening . Good - night , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy . "_[1864-i] And so [he]_1864-i kindly led [me]_0-i to the door , and holding a wax - candle , lighted [me]_0-i up [the one flight of stairs]_{1865-the one flight of stairs} . When [I]_0-i had said [my]_0-i prayers , and when [I]_0-i was undressed and laid down , [I]_0-i felt that [I]_0-i still had [friends]_533-friends . [Friends]_533-friends , not professing vehement attachment , not offering the tender solace of well - matched and congenial relationship ; on [whom , therefore , but moderate demand of affection was to be made , of whom but moderate expectation formed]_{1868-whom , therefore , but moderate demand of affection was to be made , of whom but moderate expectation formed} ; but towards whom [my]_0-i heart softened instinctively , and yearned with an importunate gratitude , which [I]_0-i entreated Reason betimes to check . " Do not let [me]_0-i think of them too often , too much , too fondly , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i implored : " let [me]_0-i be content with a temperate draught of [this living stream]_{5660-this living stream} : let [me]_0-i not run athirst , and apply passionately to its welcome waters : let [me]_0-i not imagine in them a sweeter taste than earth 's fountains know . Oh ! would to [God]_164-god [I]_0-i may be enabled to feel enough sustained by an occasional , amicable intercourse , rare , brief , unengrossing and tranquil : quite tranquil ! "_[0-i] Still repeating this word , [I]_0-i turned to [my]_0-i pillow ; and still repeating it , [I]_0-i steeped that pillow with tears . CHAPTER XVII . LA TERRASSE . These struggles with the natural character , the strong native bent of the heart , may seem futile and fruitless , but in the end they do good . [They]_1869-they tend , however slightly , to give the actions , the conduct , that turn which Reason approves , and which Feeling , perhaps , too often opposes : [they]_1869-they certainly make a difference in the general tenour of a life , and enable it to be better regulated , more equable , quieter on the surface ; and it is on the surface only the common gaze will fall . As to what lies below , leave that with [God]_164-god . [Man]_618-man , [your]_1871-your equal , weak as [you]_1871-your , and not fit to be [[your]_1871-your judge]_{1872-your judge} , may be shut out thence : take it to [[your]_1871-your Maker]_{1873-your maker} - show [Him]_{1873-your maker} the secrets of the spirit [He]_{1873-your maker} gave - ask [Him]_{1873-your maker} how [you]_1871-your are to bear the pains [He]_{1873-your maker} has appointed - kneel in [His]_{1873-your maker} presence , and pray with faith for light in darkness , for strength in piteous weakness , for patience in extreme need . Certainly , at some hour , though perhaps not [your]_1871-your hour , the waiting waters will stir ; in some shape , though perhaps not the shape [you]_1871-your dreamed , which [your]_1871-your heart loved , and for which it bled , [the healing herald]_{1874-the healing herald} will descend , [the cripple and the blind]_{1875-the cripple and the blind} , and the dumb , and the possessed will be led to bathe . [Herald]_284-herald , come quickly ! [Thousands]_{1876-thousands} lie round [the pool]_{1877-the pool} , weeping and despairing , to see it , through slow years , stagnant . Long are the " times "_{[1878-angel messengers]} of Heaven : the orbits of [angel messengers]_{1878-angel messengers} seem wide to mortal vision ; [they]_{1878-angel messengers} may enring ages : the cycle of one departure and return may clasp unnumbered generations ; and dust , kindling to brief suffering life , and through pain , passing back to dust , may meanwhile perish out of memory again , and yet again . To how [many maimed and mourning millions]_{1879-many maimed and mourning millions} is [the first and sole angel visitant]_{1880-the first and sole angel visitant} , [him]_1881-him easterns call [Azrael]_285-azrael ! [I]_0-i tried to get up next morning , but while [I]_0-i was dressing , and at intervals drinking cold water from the carafe on [my]_0-i washstand , with design to brace up that trembling weakness which made dressing so difficult , in came [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . " Here is an absurdity ! "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} was [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} morning accost . " Not so , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} added , and dealing with [me]_0-i at once in [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} own brusque , energetic fashion - that fashion which [I]_0-i used formerly to enjoy seeing applied to [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} , and by [him]_{532-her son} vigorously resisted - in two minutes [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} consigned [me]_0-i captive to the French bed . " There [you]_0-i lie till afternoon , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} said [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} . " [[My]_{130-mrs. bretton} boy]_{693-my boy} left orders before [he]_{532-her son} went out that such should be the case , and [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} can assure [you]_0-i [[my]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{1825-my son} is [master]_5663-master and must be obeyed . Presently [you]_0-i shall have breakfast . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} Presently [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} brought that meal - brought it with [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} own active hands - not leaving [me]_0-i to [servants]_{1062-servants} . [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} seated [herself]_{130-mrs. bretton} on the bed while [I]_0-i ate . Now it is not [everybody]_{4957-everybody} , even amongst [[our]_1885-we respected friends and esteemed acquaintance , whom [we]_1885-we like to have near [us]_1885-we , whom [we]_1885-we like to watch [us]_1885-we , to wait on [us]_1885-we , to approach [us]_1885-we with the proximity of [a nurse]_{886-a nurse} to [a patient]_{1888-a patient}]_{1886-our respected friends and esteemed acquaintance , whom we like to have near us , whom we like to watch us , to wait on us , to approach us with the proximity of a nurse to a patient} . It is not [every friend whose eye is a light in a sick room]_{1889-every friend whose eye is a light in a sick room} , whose presence is there a solace : but all this was [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} to [me]_0-i ; all this [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had ever been . Food or drink never pleased [me]_0-i so well as when it came through [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} hands . [I]_0-i do not remember the occasion when [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} entrance into [a room]_{612-a room} had not made [that room]_{613-that room} cheerier . [Our]_1885-we natures own predilections and antipathies alike strange . There are people from whom [we]_1885-we secretly shrink , whom [we]_1885-we would personally avoid , though reason confesses that [they]_1892-they are [good people]_{1789-good people} : there are [others with faults of temper]_{1894-others with faults of temper} , c. , evident enough , beside whom [we]_1885-we live content , as if the air about [them]_{1894-others with faults of temper} did [us]_1885-we good . [[My]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} 's lively black eye and clear brunette cheek , [her]_{506-my godmother} warm , prompt hand , [her]_{506-my godmother} self- reliant mood , [her]_{506-my godmother} decided bearing , were all beneficial to [me]_0-i as the atmosphere of some salubrious climate . [[Her]_{506-my godmother} son]_{532-her son} used to call [her]_{506-my godmother} " [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} ; "_{[532-her son]} it filled [me]_0-i with pleasant wonder to note how the alacrity and power of five - and - twenty still breathed from [her]_{506-my godmother} and around [her]_{506-my godmother} . " [I]_{506-my godmother} would bring [my]_{506-my godmother} work [here]_4212-here , "_{[506-my godmother]} [she]_{506-my godmother} said , as [she]_{506-my godmother} took from [me]_0-i the emptied teacup , " and sit with [you]_0-i the whole day , if that overbearing [John Graham]_135-graham had not put [his]_135-graham veto upon such a proceeding . ' Now , [mamma]_4272-mamma , ' [he]_135-graham said , when [he]_135-graham went out , ' take notice , [you]_4272-mamma are not to knock up [[your]_4272-mamma god - daughter]_{5667-your god - daughter} with gossip , ' and [he]_135-graham particularly desired [me]_{506-my godmother} to keep close to [[my]_{506-my godmother} own quarters]_{5668-my own quarters} , and spare [you]_4272-mamma [my]_{506-my godmother} fine company . [He]_135-graham says , [Lucy]_142-lucy , [he]_135-graham thinks [you]_4272-mamma have had a nervous fever , judging from [your]_4272-mamma look , - is that so ? "_{[506-my godmother]} [I]_0-i replied that [I]_0-i did not quite know what [my]_0-i ailment had been , but that [I]_0-i had certainly suffered a good deal especially in mind . Further , on this subject , [I]_0-i did not consider it advisable to dwell , for the details of what [I]_0-i had undergone belonged to a portion of [my]_0-i existence in which [I]_0-i never expected [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} to take a share . Into what [a new region]_{1898-a new region} would such a confidence have led that hale , serene nature ! The difference between [her]_{506-my godmother} and [me]_0-i might be figured by that between the stately ship cruising safe on [smooth seas]_{1899-smooth seas} , with [[its]_1900-its full complement of [crew]_1902-crew]_{1901-its full complement of crew} , [a captain gay and brave , and venturous and provident]_{1903-a captain gay and brave , and venturous and provident} ; and [the life - boat]_{1904-the life - boat} , which most days of the year lies dry and solitary in [an old , dark boat - house]_{1905-an old , dark boat - house} , only putting to [sea]_5222-sea when the billows run high in rough weather , when cloud encounters water , when danger and death divide between [them]_1907-them the rule of [the great deep]_{1908-the great deep} . No , [the " Louisa Bretton]_{5669-the " louisa bretton} "_{[5669-the " louisa bretton]} never was out of harbour on such a night , and in such a scene : [[her]_{506-my godmother} crew]_{1909-her crew} could not conceive it ; so [the half - drowned life - boat man]_{1910-the half - drowned life - boat man} keeps [his]_{1910-the half - drowned life - boat man} own counsel , and spins no yarns . [She]_{506-my godmother} left [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i lay in bed content : it was good of [Graham]_135-graham to remember [me]_0-i before [he]_135-graham went out . [My]_0-i day was lonely , but the prospect of coming evening abridged and cheered it . Then , too , [I]_0-i felt weak , and rest seemed welcome ; and after the morning hours were gone by , - those hours which always bring , even to the necessarily unoccupied , a sense of business to be done , of tasks waiting fulfilment , a vague impression of obligation to be employed - when this stirring time was past , and the silent descent of afternoon hushed housemaid steps on the stairs and in [the chambers]_{1911-the chambers} , [I]_0-i then passed into a dreamy mood , not unpleasant . [[My]_0-i calm little room]_{1912-my calm little room} seemed somehow like [a cave in [the sea]_{725-the sea}]_{1913-a cave in the sea} . There was no colour about [it]_{1912-my calm little room} , except that white and pale green , suggestive of foam and [deep water]_{1915-deep water} ; the blanched cornice was adorned with shell- shaped ornaments , and there were white mouldings like dolphins in the ceiling - angles . Even that one touch of colour visible in the red satin pincushion bore affinity to coral ; even that dark , shining glass might have mirrored [a mermaid]_{1916-a mermaid} . When [I]_0-i closed [my]_0-i eyes , [I]_0-i heard a gale , subsiding at last , bearing upon [the house]_{518-the house} - front like a settling swell upon a rock - base . [I]_0-i heard it drawn and withdrawn far , far off , like a tide retiring from [a shore of [the upper world]_{1919-the upper world}]_{1918-a shore of the upper world} - [a world so high above that the rush of its largest waves , the dash of its fiercest breakers]_{1920-a world so high above that the rush of its largest waves , the dash of its fiercest breakers} , could sound down in [this submarine home]_{1921-this submarine home} , only like murmurs and a lullaby . Amidst these dreams came evening , and then [Martha]_286-martha brought a light ; with [her]_286-martha aid [I]_0-i was quickly dressed , and stronger now than in the morning , [I]_0-i made [my]_0-i way down to [the blue saloon unassisted]_{1922-the blue saloon unassisted} . [Dr. John]_135-graham , it appears , had concluded [his]_135-graham round of professional calls earlier than usual ; [his]_135-graham form was the first object that met [my]_0-i eyes as [I]_0-i entered [the parlour]_{1923-the parlour} ; [he]_135-graham stood in that window - recess opposite the door , reading the close type of a newspaper by such dull light as closing day yet gave . The fire shone clear , but the lamp stood on the table unlit , and tea was not yet brought up . As to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , [[my]_0-i active godmother]_{1924-my active godmother} - who , [I]_0-i afterwards found , had been out in the open air all day - lay half - reclined in [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} deep- cushioned chair , actually lost in a nap . [[Her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} seeing [me]_0-i , came forward . [I]_0-i noticed that [he]_{532-her son} trod carefully , not to wake [the sleeper]_{1926-the sleeper} ; [he]_{532-her son} also spoke low : [his]_{532-her son} mellow voice never had any sharpness in it ; modulated as at present , it was calculated rather to soothe than startle slumber . " This is [a quiet little chateau]_{5670-a quiet little chateau} , "_{[532-her son]} [he]_{532-her son} observed , after inviting [me]_0-i to sit near [the casement]_{1927-the casement} . " [I]_{532-her son} do n't know whether [you]_0-i may have noticed it in [your]_0-i walks : though , indeed , from [the chaussee]_{5671-the chaussee} [it]_{5670-a quiet little chateau} is not visible ; just a mile beyond [the Porte de Crecy]_{69-the porte de crecy} , [you]_0-i turn down [a lane which soon becomes an avenue]_{5672-a lane which soon becomes an avenue} , and that leads [you]_0-i on , through [meadow and shade]_{5673-meadow and shade} , to the very door of [this house]_{5145-this house} . [It]_{5145-this house} is not [a modern place , but built somewhat in the old style of [the Basse - Ville]_{5676-the basse - ville}]_{5675-a modern place , but built somewhat in the old style of the basse - ville} . It is rather [a manoir]_{5677-a manoir} than [a chateau]_{5678-a chateau} ; [they]_5679-they call [it]_{5145-this house} ' [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} , ' because [its]_{5145-this house} front rises from [a broad turfed walk]_{5680-a broad turfed walk} , whence steps lead down a grassy slope to [the avenue]_{5681-the avenue} . See yonder ! The moon rises : [she]_1928-she looks well through the tree- boles . "_{[532-her son]} Where , indeed , does the moon not look well ? What is the scene , confined or expansive , which [her]_1928-she orb does not hallow ? Rosy or fiery , [she]_1928-she mounted now above [a not distant bank]_{1929-a not distant bank} ; even while [we]_1930-we watched [her]_1928-she flushed ascent , [she]_1928-she cleared to gold , and in very brief space , floated up stainless into a now calm sky . Did moonlight soften or sadden [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ? Did it touch [him]_1931-he with romance ? [I]_0-i think it did . [Albeit]_287-albeit of no sighing mood , [he]_1931-he sighed in watching it : sighed to [himself]_1931-he quietly . No need to ponder the cause or the course of that sigh ; [I]_0-i knew it was wakened by beauty ; [I]_0-i knew it pursued [Ginevra]_179-ginevra . Knowing this , the idea pressed upon [me]_0-i that it was in some sort [my]_0-i duty to speak the name [he]_1931-he meditated . Of course [he]_1931-he was ready for the subject : [I]_0-i saw in [his]_1931-he countenance a teeming plenitude of comment , question and interest ; a pressure of language and sentiment , only checked , [I]_0-i thought , by sense of embarrassment how to begin . To spare [him]_1931-he this embarrassment was [my]_0-i best , indeed [my]_0-i sole use . [I]_0-i had but to utter [the idol]_{1932-the idol} 's name , and love 's tender litany would flow out . [I]_0-i had just found a fitting phrase , " [You]_5682-you know that [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra is gone on a tour with [the Cholmondeleys]_{288-the cholmondeleys} , "_[0-i] and was opening [my]_0-i lips to speak to it , when [he]_1931-he scattered [my]_0-i plans by introducing another theme . " The first thing this morning , "_[1931-he] said [he]_1931-he , putting [his]_1931-he sentiment in [his]_1931-he pocket , turning from the moon , and sitting down , " [I]_1931-he went to [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} , and told [the cuisiniere]_{5684-the cuisiniere} that [you]_5682-you were safe and in good hands . Do [you]_5682-you know that [I]_1931-he actually found that [she]_{5684-the cuisiniere} had not yet discovered [your]_5682-you absence from [the house]_{518-the house} : [she]_{5684-the cuisiniere} thought [you]_5682-you safe in [the great dormitory]_{5533-the great dormitory} . With what care [you]_5682-you must have been waited on ! "_[1931-he] " Oh ! all that is very conceivable , "_[0-i] said [I.]_0-i " [Goton]_276-goton could do nothing for [me]_0-i but bring [me]_0-i a little tisane and a crust of bread , and [I]_0-i had rejected both so often during the past week , that [the good woman]_{5687-the good woman} got tired of useless journeys from [the dwelling - house kitchen]_{5688-the dwelling - house kitchen} to [the school - dormitory]_{5689-the school - dormitory} , and only came once a day at noon to make [my]_0-i bed . [I]_0-i believe , however , that [she]_{5687-the good woman} is a good - natured creature , and would have been delighted to cook [me]_0-i cotelettes de mouton , if [I]_0-i could have eaten them . "_[0-i] " What did [Madame Beck]_190-madame mean by leaving [you]_5682-you alone ? "_[1931-he] " [Madame Beck]_190-madame could not foresee that [I]_1931-he should fall ill . "_[1931-he] " [Your]_5682-you nervous system bore a good share of the suffering ? "_[1931-he] " [I]_1931-he am not quite sure what [my]_1931-he nervous system is , but [I]_1931-he was dreadfully low - spirited . "_[1931-he] " Which disables [me]_1931-he from helping [you]_5682-you by pill or potion . Medicine can give [nobody]_4256-nobody good spirits . [My]_1931-he art halts at the threshold of Hypochondria : [she]_{5687-the good woman} just looks in and sees a chamber of torture , but can neither say nor do much . [Cheerful society]_{5691-cheerful society} would be of use ; [you]_5682-you should be as little alone as possible ; [you]_5682-you should take plenty of exercise . "_[1931-he] Acquiescence and a pause followed these remarks . They sounded all right , [I]_0-i thought , and bore the safe sanction of custom , and the well- worn stamp of use . " [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , "_[1931-he] recommenced [Dr. John]_135-graham - [my]_0-i health , nervous system included , being now , somewhat to [my]_0-i relief , discussed and done with - " is it permitted [me]_0-i to ask what [your]_142-lucy religion is ? Are [you]_142-lucy [a Catholic]_{5692-a catholic} ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i looked up in some surprise - " [A Catholic]_{5692-a catholic} ? No ! Why suggest such an idea ? "_[0-i] " The manner in which [you]_142-lucy were consigned to [me]_0-i last night made [me]_0-i doubt . "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i consigned to [you]_142-lucy ? But , indeed , [I]_0-i forget . It yet remains for [me]_0-i to learn how [I]_0-i fell into [your]_142-lucy hands . "_[0-i] " Why , under circumstances that puzzled [me]_1937-i . [I]_1937-i had been in attendance all day yesterday on a case of singularly interesting and critical character ; the disease being rare , and its treatment doubtful : [I]_1937-i saw a similar and still finer case in [a hospital in [Paris]_59-paris]_{5694-a hospital in paris} ; but that will not interest [you]_142-lucy . At last a mitigation of [the patient]_{1269-the patient} 's most urgent symptoms acute pain is one of its accompaniments liberated [me]_1937-i , and [I]_1937-i set out homeward . [My]_1937-i shortest way lay through [the Basse - Ville]_{5676-the basse - ville} , and as the night was excessively dark , wild , and wet , [I]_1937-i took it . In riding past [an old church]_{5697-an old church} belonging to [a community of [Beguines]_71-beguines]_{5698-a community of beguines} , [I]_1937-i saw by a lamp burning over [the porch]_{5699-the porch} or deep arch of the entrance , [a priest]_{5700-a priest} lifting some object in [his]_{5700-a priest} arms . The lamp was bright enough to reveal [the priest]_{4890-the priest} 's features clearly , and [I]_1937-i recognised [him]_{5700-a priest} ; [he]_{5700-a priest} was [a man [I]_1937-i have often met by [the sick beds of [both rich and poor]_{5704-both rich and poor}]_{5703-the sick beds of both rich and poor}]_{5702-a man i have often met by the sick beds of both rich and poor} : and chiefly the latter . [He]_{5700-a priest} is , [I]_1937-i think , [a good old man]_{5705-a good old man} , far better than [most of [his]_{5700-a priest} class]_{5706-most of his class} in [this country]_{1824-this country} ; superior , indeed , in every way , better informed , as well as more devoted to duty . [Our]_5708-our eyes met ; [he]_1937-i called on [me]_1937-i to stop : what [he]_1937-i supported was [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , fainting or dying . [I]_1937-i alighted . "_[1937-i] ' [This person]_{784-this person} is [one of [[your]_1935-you countrywomen]_{1936-your countrywomen}]_{1934-one of your countrywomen} , ' [he]_1937-i said : ' save [her]_{784-this person} , if [she]_{784-this person} is not dead . ' " [[My]_1937-i countrywoman]_{5710-my countrywoman} , on examination , turned out to be [the English teacher at [Madame Beck 's pensionnat]_190-madame]_{5711-the english teacher at madame beck 's pensionnat} . [She]_{784-this person} was perfectly unconscious , perfectly bloodless , and nearly cold . "_[1937-i] ' What does it all mean ? ' was [my]_0-i inquiry . " [He]_1937-i communicated a curious account ; that [you]_1935-you had been to [him]_1937-i that evening at confessional ; that [your]_1935-you exhausted and suffering appearance , coupled with some things [you]_1935-you had said - "_[1937-i] " Things [I]_1937-i had said ? [I]_1937-i wonder what things ! "_[1937-i] " Awful crimes , no doubt ; but [he]_1937-i did not tell [me]_1937-i what : there , [you]_1935-you know , the seal of [the confessional]_{5712-the confessional} checked [his]_1937-i garrulity , and [my]_1937-i curiosity . [Your]_1935-you confidences , however , had not made [an enemy of [the good father]_{5714-the good father}]_{5713-an enemy of the good father} ; it seems [he]_1937-i was so struck , and felt so sorry that [you]_1935-you should [he]_1937-i out on such a night alone , that [he]_1937-i had esteemed it a Christian duty to watch [you]_1935-you when [you]_1935-you quitted [the church]_{5217-the church} , and so to manage as not to lose sight of [you]_1935-you , till [you]_1935-you should have reached [home]_542-home . Perhaps [the worthy man]_{5717-the worthy man} might , half unconsciously , have blent in this proceeding some little of the subtlety of [his]_{5717-the worthy man} class : it might have been [his]_{5717-the worthy man} resolve to learn the locality of [[your]_1935-you home]_{4385-your home} - did [you]_1935-you impart that in [your]_1935-you confession ? "_[1937-i] " [I]_1937-i did not : on the contrary , [I]_1937-i carefully avoided the shadow of any indication : and as to [my]_1937-i confession , [Dr. John]_135-graham , [I]_1937-i suppose [you]_135-graham will think [me]_1937-i mad for taking such a step , but [I]_1937-i could not help it : [I]_1937-i suppose it was all the fault of what [you]_135-graham call [my]_1937-i ' nervous system . ' [I]_1937-i can not put the case into words , but [my]_1937-i days and nights were grown intolerable : a cruel sense of desolation pained [my]_1937-i mind : a feeling that would make its way , rush out , or kill [me]_1937-i - like and this [you]_135-graham will understand , [Dr. John]_135-graham the current which passes through the heart , and which , if aneurism or any other morbid cause obstructs its natural channels , seeks abnormal outlet . [I]_1937-i wanted companionship , [I]_1937-i wanted friendship , [I]_1937-i wanted counsel . [I]_1937-i could find none of these in [closet]_5719-closet or [chamber]_5720-chamber , so [I]_1937-i went and sought them in [church]_4353-church and [confessional]_{5722-confessional} . As to what [I]_1937-i said , it was no confidence , no narrative . [I]_1937-i have done nothing wrong : [my]_1937-i life has not been active enough for any dark deed , either of romance or reality : all [I]_1937-i poured out was a dreary , desperate complaint . "_[1937-i] " [Lucy]_142-lucy , [you]_142-lucy ought to travel for about six months : why , [your]_142-lucy calm nature is growing quite excitable ! Confound [Madame Beck]_190-madame ! Has [the little buxom widow]_{5723-the little buxom widow} no bowels , to condemn [[her]_{5723-the little buxom widow} best teacher]_{5724-her best teacher} to solitary confinement ? "_[1937-i] " It was not [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's fault , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i ; " it is no living being 's fault , and [I]_0-i wo n't hear [any one]_{1135-any one} blamed . "_[0-i] " Who is in the wrong , then , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? "_[1937-i] " [Me]_1937-i - [Dr. John]_135-graham - [me]_1937-i ; and a great abstraction on whose wide shoulders [I]_1937-i like to lay the mountains of blame [they]_5726-they were sculptured to bear : [me]_1937-i and [Fate]_159-fate . "_[1937-i] " ' [Me]_135-graham ' must take better care in future , "_[135-graham] said [Dr. John]_135-graham - smiling , [I]_0-i suppose , at [my]_0-i bad grammar . " Change of air - change of scene ; those are [my]_{1938-the practical young doctor} prescriptions , "_{[1938-the practical young doctor]} pursued [the practical young doctor]_{1938-the practical young doctor} . " But to return to [our]_5727-our muttons , [Lucy]_142-lucy . As yet , [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} , with all [his]_{289-pere silas} tact [they]_5726-they say [he]_{289-pere silas} is [a Jesuit]_{5728-a jesuit} , is no wiser than [you]_142-lucy choose [him]_{289-pere silas} to be ; for , instead of returning to [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} , [your]_142-lucy fevered wanderings - there must have been high fever - "_{[1938-the practical young doctor]} " No , [Dr. John]_135-graham : the fever took its turn that night - now , do n't make out that [I]_1937-i was delirious , for [I]_1937-i know differently . "_[1937-i] " Good ! [you]_142-lucy were as collected as [myself]_{1938-the practical young doctor} at this moment , no doubt . [Your]_142-lucy wanderings had taken an opposite direction to [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat} . Near [the Beguinage]_{5730-the beguinage} , amidst the stress of flood and gust , and in the perplexity of darkness , [you]_142-lucy had swooned and fallen . [The priest]_{4890-the priest} came to [your]_142-lucy succour , and [the physician]_{1265-the physician} , as [we]_5733-we have seen , supervened . Between [us]_5733-we [we]_5733-we procured a fiacre and brought [you]_142-lucy [here]_4212-here . [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} , old as [he]_{289-pere silas} is , would carry [you]_142-lucy up [- stairs]_{5735-- stairs} , and lay [you]_142-lucy on that couch [himself]_{289-pere silas} . [He]_{289-pere silas} would certainly have remained with [you]_142-lucy till suspended animation had been restored : and so should [I]_{1938-the practical young doctor} , but , at that juncture , [a hurried messenger]_{5736-a hurried messenger} arrived from [the dying patient]_{5737-the dying patient} [I]_{1938-the practical young doctor} had scarcely left - the last duties were called for - [the physician]_{1265-the physician} 's last visit and [the priest]_{4890-the priest} 's last rite ; extreme unction could not be deferred . [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} and [myself]_{1938-the practical young doctor} departed together , [[my]_{1938-the practical young doctor} mother]_{4268-my mother} was spending the evening abroad ; [we]_5741-we gave [you]_142-lucy in charge to [Martha]_286-martha , leaving directions , which it seems [she]_286-martha followed successfully . Now , are [you]_142-lucy [a Catholic]_{5692-a catholic} ? "_{[1938-the practical young doctor]} " Not yet , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , with a smile . " And never let [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} know where [I]_0-i live , or [he]_{289-pere silas} will try to convert [me]_0-i ; but give [him]_{289-pere silas} [my]_0-i best and truest thanks when [you]_142-lucy see [him]_{289-pere silas} , and if ever [I]_0-i get rich [I]_0-i will send [him]_{289-pere silas} money for [his]_{289-pere silas} charities . See , [Dr. John]_135-graham , [[your]_135-graham mother]_{4274-your mother} wakes ; [you]_135-graham ought to ring for tea . "_[0-i] Which [he]_1939-he did ; and , as [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} sat up - astonished and indignant at [herself]_{130-mrs. bretton} for the indulgence to which [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had succumbed , and fully prepared to deny that [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had slept at all - [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} came gaily to the attack . " [Hushaby]_290-hushaby , [mamma]_4272-mamma ! Sleep again . [You]_4272-mamma look the picture of innocence in [your]_4272-mamma slumbers . "_{[532-her son]} " [My]_{130-mrs. bretton} slumbers , [John Graham]_135-graham ! What are [you]_135-graham talking about ? [You]_135-graham know [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} never do sleep by day : it was the slightest doze possible . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " Exactly ! [a seraph]_{5745-a seraph} 's gentle lapse - a fairy 's dream . [Mamma]_150-mamma , under such circumstances , [you]_4272-mamma always remind [me]_{130-mrs. bretton} of [Titania]_291-titania . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " That is because [you]_4272-mamma , [yourself]_4272-mamma , are so like [Bottom]_292-bottom . "_{[532-her son]} " [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy - did [you]_135-graham ever hear anything like [mamma]_150-mamma 's wit ? [She]_150-mamma is [a most sprightly woman of [her]_150-mamma size and age]_{5746-a most sprightly woman of her size and age} . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " Keep [your]_135-graham compliments to [yourself]_135-graham , [sir]_976-sir , and do not neglect [your]_135-graham own size : which seems to [me]_{130-mrs. bretton} a good deal on the increase . [Lucy]_142-lucy , has [he]_976-sir not rather the air of [an incipient John Bull]_{5748-an incipient john bull} ? [He]_976-sir used to be slender as an eel , and now [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} fancy in [him]_976-sir [a sort of heavy dragoon bent - a beef - eater tendency]_{5749-a sort of heavy dragoon bent - a beef - eater tendency} . [Graham]_135-graham , take notice ! If [you]_135-graham grow fat [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} disown [you]_135-graham . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} " As if [you]_135-graham could not sooner disown [your]_135-graham own personality ! [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} am indispensable to [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} 's happiness , [Lucy]_142-lucy . [She]_{1842-the old lady} would pine away in green and yellow melancholy if [she]_{1842-the old lady} had not [my]_{130-mrs. bretton} six feet of iniquity to scold . It keeps [her]_{1842-the old lady} lively - it maintains the wholesome ferment of [her]_{1842-the old lady} spirits . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [The two]_{4317-the two} were now standing opposite to [each other]_{4318-each other} , one on each side [the fire - place]_{1943-the fire - place} ; [their]_{4317-the two} words were not very fond , but [their]_{4317-the two} mutual looks atoned for verbal deficiencies . At least , the best treasure of [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's life was certainly casketed in [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} 's bosom ; [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} dearest pulse throbbed in [his]_{532-her son} heart . As to [him]_{532-her son} , of course another love shared [his]_{532-her son} feelings with filial love , and , no doubt , as the new passion was the latest born , so [he]_{532-her son} assigned it in [his]_{532-her son} emotions [Benjamin]_293-benjamin 's portion . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ! [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ! Did [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} yet know at whose feet [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} own young idol]_{1945-her own young idol} had laid [his]_{532-her son} homage ? Would [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} approve that choice ? [I]_0-i could not tell ; but [I]_0-i could well guess that if [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} knew [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's conduct towards [Graham]_135-graham : [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} alternations between coldness and coaxing , and repulse and allurement ; if [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} could at all suspect the pain with which [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had tried [him]_135-graham ; if [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} could have seen , as [I]_0-i had seen , [his]_135-graham fine spirits subdued and harassed , [[his]_135-graham inferior]_{1946-his inferior} preferred before [him]_135-graham , [[his]_135-graham subordinate]_{1947-his subordinate} made the instrument of [his]_135-graham humiliation - then [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} would have pronounced [Ginevra]_179-ginevra imbecile , or perverted , or both . Well - [I]_0-i thought so too . That second evening passed as sweetly as the first - more sweetly indeed : [we]_1948-we enjoyed a smoother interchange of thought ; old troubles were not reverted to , acquaintance was better cemented ; [I]_0-i felt happier , easier , more at [home]_542-home . That night - instead of crying [myself]_0-i asleep - [I]_0-i went down to dreamland by [a pathway bordered with pleasant thoughts]_{1950-a pathway bordered with pleasant thoughts} . CHAPTER XVIII . [WE]_1948-we QUARREL . During the first days of [my]_0-i stay at [the Terrace]_{1951-the terrace} , [Graham]_135-graham never took a seat near [me]_0-i , or in [his]_135-graham frequent pacing of [the room]_{600-the room} approached the quarter where [I]_0-i sat , or looked pre - occupied , or more grave than usual , but [I]_0-i thought of [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra and expected [her]_179-ginevra name to leap from [his]_135-graham lips . [I]_0-i kept [my]_0-i ear and mind in perpetual readiness for the tender theme ; [my]_0-i patience was ordered to be permanently under arms , and [my]_0-i sympathy desired to keep its cornucopia replenished and ready for outpouring . At last , and after a little inward struggle , which [I]_0-i saw and respected , [he]_135-graham one day launched into the topic . It was introduced delicately ; anonymously as it were . " [[Your]_0-i friend]_{5751-your friend} is spending [her]_{5751-your friend} vacation in travelling , [I]_135-graham hear ? "_[135-graham] " [Friend]_5752-friend , forsooth ! "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i to [myself]_0-i : but it would not do to contradict ; [he]_135-graham must have [his]_135-graham own way ; [I]_0-i must own the soft impeachment : [friend]_5752-friend let it be . Still , by way of experiment , [I]_0-i could not help asking whom [he]_135-graham meant ? [He]_135-graham had taken a seat at [my]_0-i work - table ; [he]_135-graham now laid hands on a reel of thread which [he]_135-graham proceeded recklessly to unwind . " [Ginevra]_179-ginevra - [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , has accompanied [the Cholmondeleys]_{288-the cholmondeleys} on a tour through [the south of [France]_15-france]_{5753-the south of france} ? "_[135-graham] " [She]_179-ginevra has . "_[135-graham] " Do [you]_135-graham and [she]_179-ginevra correspond ? "_[135-graham] " It will astonish [you]_135-graham to hear that [I]_135-graham never once thought of making application for that privilege . "_[135-graham] " [You]_135-graham have seen letters of [her]_179-ginevra writing ? "_[135-graham] " Yes ; several to [[her]_179-ginevra uncle]_{4934-her uncle} . "_[135-graham] " [They]_5755-they will not be deficient in wit and naivete ; there is so much sparkle , and so little art in [her]_179-ginevra soul ? "_[135-graham] " [She]_179-ginevra writes comprehensively enough when [she]_179-ginevra writes to [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} : [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} who runs may read . "_[135-graham] In fact , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra 's epistles to [[her]_179-ginevra wealthy kinsman]_{1954-her wealthy kinsman} were commonly business documents , unequivocal applications for cash . " And [her]_179-ginevra handwriting ? It must be pretty , light , ladylike , [I]_135-graham should think ? "_[135-graham] It was , and [I]_0-i said so . " [I]_135-graham verily believe that all [she]_179-ginevra does is well done , "_[135-graham] said [Dr. John]_135-graham ; and as [I]_0-i seemed in no hurry to chime in with this remark , [he]_135-graham added " [You]_0-i , who know [her]_179-ginevra , could [you]_0-i name a point in which [she]_179-ginevra is deficient ? "_[135-graham] " [She]_179-ginevra does several things very well . "_[135-graham] " Flirtation amongst the rest , "_[0-i] subjoined [I]_0-i , in thought . " When do [you]_0-i suppose [she]_179-ginevra will return to [town]_4930-town ? "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham soon inquired . " Pardon [me]_135-graham , [Dr. John]_135-graham , [I]_135-graham must explain . [You]_135-graham honour [me]_135-graham too much in ascribing to [me]_135-graham a degree of intimacy with [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra [I]_135-graham have not the felicity to enjoy . [I]_135-graham have never been [the depositary of [her]_179-ginevra plans and secrets]_{5757-the depositary of her plans and secrets} . [You]_135-graham will find [[her]_179-ginevra particular friends]_{5758-her particular friends} in another sphere than [mine]_135-graham : amongst [the Cholmondeleys]_{288-the cholmondeleys} , for instance . "_[135-graham] [He]_135-graham actually thought [I]_0-i was stung with a kind of jealous pain similar to [his]_135-graham own ! " Excuse [her]_179-ginevra , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham said ; " judge [her]_179-ginevra indulgently ; the glitter of fashion misleads [her]_179-ginevra , but [she]_179-ginevra will soon find out that [these people]_{4232-these people} are hollow , and will return to [you]_135-graham with augmented attachment and confirmed trust . [I]_135-graham know something of [the Cholmondeleys]_{288-the cholmondeleys} : [superficial , showy , selfish people]_{5760-superficial , showy , selfish people} ; depend on it , at heart [Ginevra]_179-ginevra values [you]_135-graham beyond a score of such . "_[135-graham] " [You]_135-graham are very kind , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said briefly . A disclaimer of the sentiments attributed to [me]_0-i burned on [my]_0-i lips , but [I]_0-i extinguished the flame . [I]_0-i submitted to be looked upon as [the humiliated , cast - off , and now pining confidante of [the distinguished Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra]_{1955-the humiliated , cast - off , and now pining confidante of the distinguished miss fanshawe} : but , [reader]_4604-reader , it was a hard submission . " Yet , [you]_135-graham see , "_[135-graham] continued [Graham]_135-graham , " while [I]_135-graham comfort [you]_135-graham , [I]_135-graham can not take the same consolation to [myself]_135-graham ; [I]_135-graham can not hope [she]_179-ginevra will do [me]_135-graham justice . [De Hamal]_{271-de hamal} is most worthless , yet [I]_135-graham fear [he]_5761-he pleases [her]_179-ginevra : wretched delusion ! "_[135-graham] [My]_0-i patience really gave way , and without notice : all at once . [I]_0-i suppose illness and weakness had worn it and made it brittle . " [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i broke out , " there is no delusion like [your]_135-graham own . On all points but one [you]_135-graham are [a man]_{823-a man} , frank , healthful , right - thinking , clear - sighted : on this exceptional point [you]_135-graham are but [a slave]_{5763-a slave} . [I]_0-i declare , where [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra is concerned , [you]_135-graham merit no respect ; nor have [you]_135-graham mine . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i got up , and left [the room]_{600-the room} very much excited . This little scene took place in the morning ; [I]_0-i had to meet [him]_1958-his again in the evening , and then [I]_0-i saw [I]_0-i had done mischief . [He]_1958-his was not made of common clay , not put together out of vulgar materials ; while the outlines of [his]_1958-his nature had been shaped with breadth and vigour , the details embraced workmanship of almost feminine delicacy : finer , much finer , than [you]_1959-you could be prepared to meet with ; than [you]_1959-you could believe inherent in [him]_1958-his , even after years of acquaintance . Indeed , till some over - sharp contact with [his]_1958-his nerves had betrayed , by its effects , [their]_1960-their acute sensibility , this elaborate construction must be ignored ; and the more especially because the sympathetic faculty was not prominent in [him]_1958-his : to feel , and to seize quickly another 's feelings , are separate properties ; a few constructions possess both , some neither . [Dr. John]_135-graham had [the one in exquisite perfection]_{1961-the one in exquisite perfection} ; and because [I]_0-i have admitted that [he]_1958-his was not endowed with the other in equal degree , [the reader]_{759-the reader} will considerately refrain from passing to an extreme , and pronouncing [him]_1958-his un sympathizing , unfeeling : on the contrary , [he]_1958-his was [a kind , generous man]_{1963-a kind , generous man} . Make [your]_1959-you need known , [his]_1958-his hand was open . Put [your]_1959-you grief into words , [he]_1958-his turned no deaf ear . Expect refinements of perception , miracles of intuition , and realize disappointment . This night , when [Dr. John]_135-graham entered [the room]_{600-the room} , and met the evening lamp , [I]_0-i saw well and at one glance [his]_1958-his whole mechanism . To one who had named [him]_1958-his ' [slave]_1965-slave , " and , on any point , banned [him]_1958-his from respect , [he]_1958-his must now have peculiar feelings . That the epithet was well applied , and the ban just , might be ; [he]_1958-his put forth no denial that it was so : [his]_1958-his mind even candidly revolved that unmanning possibility . [He]_1958-his sought in this accusation the cause of that ill - success which had got so galling a hold on [his]_1958-his mental peace : Amid the worry of a self- condemnatory soliloquy , [his]_1958-his demeanour seemed grave , perhaps cold , both to [me]_142-lucy and [[his]_1958-his mother]_{534-his mother} . And yet there was no bad feeling , no malice , no rancour , no littleness in [his]_1958-his countenance , beautiful with [a man]_{823-a man} 's best beauty , even in its depression . When [I]_142-lucy placed [his]_1958-his chair at the table , which [I]_142-lucy hastened to do , anticipating [the servant]_{5766-the servant} , and when [I]_142-lucy handed [him]_1958-his [his]_1958-his tea , which [I]_142-lucy did with trembling care , [he]_1958-his said : "_[142-lucy] Thank [you]_1966-i , [Lucy]_142-lucy , " in as kindly a tone of [his]_1958-his full pleasant voice as ever [my]_1966-i ear welcomed . For [my]_1966-i part , there was only one plan to be pursued ; [I]_1966-i must expiate [my]_1966-i culpable vehemence , or [I]_1966-i must not sleep that night . This would not do at all ; [I]_1966-i could not stand it : [I]_1966-i made no pretence of capacity to wage war on this footing . School solitude , conventual silence and stagnation , anything seemed preferable to living embroiled with [Dr. John]_135-graham . As to [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , [she]_179-ginevra might take the silver wings of a dove , or any other fowl that flies , and mount straight up to the highest place , among the highest stars , where [[her]_179-ginevra lover]_{5767-her lover} 's highest flight of fancy chose to fix the constellation of [her]_179-ginevra charms : never more be it [mine]_142-lucy to dispute the arrangement . Long [I]_1966-i tried to catch [his]_1958-his eye . Again and again that eye just met [mine]_1966-i ; but , having nothing to say , it withdrew , and [I]_1966-i was baffled . After tea , [he]_1958-his sat , sad and quiet , reading a book . [I]_1966-i wished [I]_1966-i could have dared to go and sit near [him]_1958-his , but it seemed that if [I]_1966-i ventured to take that step , [he]_1958-his would infallibly evince hostility and indignation . [I]_1966-i longed to speak out , and [I]_1966-i dared not whisper . [[His]_1958-his mother]_{534-his mother} left [the room]_{600-the room} ; then , moved by insupportable regret , [I]_1966-i just murmured the words "_[1966-i] [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham . " [He]_1958-his looked up from [his]_1958-his book ; [his]_1958-his eyes were not cold or malevolent , [his]_1958-his mouth was not cynical ; [he]_1958-his was ready and willing to hear what [I]_135-graham might have to say : [his]_1958-his spirit was of vintage too mellow and generous to sour in one thunder - clap . "_[135-graham] [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , forgive [my]_0-i hasty words : do , do forgive them . " [He]_1958-his smiled that moment [I]_135-graham spoke . "_[135-graham] Perhaps [I]_0-i deserved [them]_1967-them , [Lucy]_142-lucy . If [you]_142-lucy do n't respect [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i am sure it is because [I]_0-i am not respectable . [I]_0-i fear , [I]_0-i am [an awkward fool]_{1968-an awkward fool} : [I]_0-i must manage badly in some way , for where [I]_0-i wish to please , it seems [I]_0-i do n't please . " "_[0-i] Of that [you]_142-lucy can not be sure ; and even if such be the case , is it the fault of [your]_142-lucy character , or of [another]_5484-another 's perceptions ? But now , let [me]_0-i unsay what [I]_0-i said in anger . In one thing , and in all things , [I]_0-i deeply respect [you]_142-lucy . If [you]_142-lucy think scarcely enough of [yourself]_142-lucy , and too much of [others]_770-others , what is that but an excellence ? " "_[142-lucy] Can [I]_0-i think too much of [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ? " "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i believe [you]_142-lucy may ; [you]_142-lucy believe [you]_142-lucy ca n't . Let [us]_1971-us agree to differ . Let [me]_0-i be pardoned ; that is what [I]_0-i ask . " "_[0-i] Do [you]_142-lucy think [I]_0-i cherish ill - will for one warm word ? " "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i see [you]_142-lucy do not and can not ; but just say , ' [Lucy]_142-lucy , [I]_0-i forgive [you]_142-lucy ! ' Say that , to ease [me]_0-i of the heart - ache . " "_[0-i] Put away [your]_142-lucy heart - ache , as [I]_0-i will put away [mine]_0-i ; for [you]_142-lucy wounded [me]_0-i a little , [Lucy]_142-lucy . Now , when the pain is gone , [I]_0-i more than forgive : [I]_0-i feel grateful , as to [a sincere well - wisher]_{1972-a sincere well - wisher} . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am [[your]_142-lucy sincere well - wisher]_{1973-your sincere well - wisher} : [you]_142-lucy are right . " Thus [our]_5770-our quarrel ended . [Reader]_281-reader , if in the course of this work , [you]_281-reader find that [my]_179-ginevra opinion of [Dr. John]_135-graham undergoes modification , excuse the seeming inconsistency . [I]_179-ginevra give the feeling as at the time [I]_179-ginevra felt it ; [I]_179-ginevra describe the view of character as it appeared when discovered . [He]_135-graham showed the fineness of [his]_135-graham nature by being kinder to [me]_179-ginevra after that misunderstanding than before . Nay , the very incident which , by [my]_179-ginevra theory , must in some degree estrange [me]_179-ginevra and [him]_135-graham , changed , indeed , somewhat [our]_5770-our relations ; but not in the sense [I]_179-ginevra painfully anticipated . An invisible , but a cold something , very slight , very transparent , but very chill : a sort of screen of ice had hitherto , all through [our]_5770-our two lives , glazed the medium through which [we]_5770-our exchanged intercourse . Those few warm words , though only warm with anger , breathed on that frail frost - work of reserve ; about this time , it gave note of dissolution . [I]_179-ginevra think from that day , so long as [we]_5770-our continued [friends]_533-friends , [he]_135-graham never in discourse stood on topics of ceremony with [me]_179-ginevra . [He]_135-graham seemed to know that if [he]_135-graham would but talk about [himself]_135-graham , and about that in which [he]_135-graham was most interested , [my]_179-ginevra expectation would always be answered , [my]_179-ginevra wish always satisfied . It follows , as a matter of course , that [I]_179-ginevra continued to hear much of "_{[179-ginevra]} [Ginevra]_179-ginevra . " "_{[179-ginevra]} [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ! " [He]_135-graham thought [her]_179-ginevra so fair , so good ; [he]_135-graham spoke so lovingly of [her]_179-ginevra charms , [her]_179-ginevra sweetness , [her]_179-ginevra innocence , that , in spite of [my]_179-ginevra plain prose knowledge of the reality , a kind of reflected glow began to settle on [her]_179-ginevra idea , even for [me]_179-ginevra . Still , [reader]_4604-reader , [I]_179-ginevra am free to confess , that [he]_135-graham often talked nonsense ; but [I]_179-ginevra strove to be unfailingly patient with [him]_135-graham . [I]_179-ginevra had had [my]_179-ginevra lesson : [I]_179-ginevra had learned how severe for [me]_179-ginevra was the pain of crossing , or grieving , or disappointing [him]_135-graham . In a strange and new sense , [I]_179-ginevra grew most selfish , and quite powerless to deny [myself]_179-ginevra the delight of indulging [his]_135-graham mood , and being pliant to [his]_135-graham will . [He]_135-graham still seemed to [me]_179-ginevra most absurd when [he]_135-graham obstinately doubted , and desponded about [his]_135-graham power to win in the end [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's preference . The fancy became rooted in [my]_179-ginevra own mind more stubbornly than ever , that [she]_179-ginevra was only coquetting to goad [him]_135-graham , and that , at heart , [she]_179-ginevra coveted everyone of [his]_135-graham words and looks . Sometimes [he]_135-graham harassed [me]_179-ginevra , in spite of [my]_179-ginevra resolution to bear and hear ; in the midst of the indescribable gall - honey pleasure of thus bearing and hearing , [he]_135-graham struck so on the flint of what firmness [I]_179-ginevra owned , that it emitted fire once and again . [I]_179-ginevra chanced to assert one day , with a view to stilling [his]_135-graham impatience , that in [my]_179-ginevra own mind , [I]_179-ginevra felt positive [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra must intend eventually to accept [him]_135-graham . "_{[179-ginevra]} Positive ! It was easy to say so , but had [I]_0-i any grounds for such assurance ? " "_[0-i] The best grounds . " "_[0-i] Now , [Lucy]_142-lucy , do tell [me]_0-i what ! " "_[142-lucy] [You]_142-lucy know [them]_1974-them as well as [I]_0-i ; and , knowing [them]_1974-them , [Dr. John]_135-graham , it really amazes [me]_0-i that [you]_135-graham should not repose the frankest confidence in [her]_1975-her fidelity . To doubt , under the circumstances , is almost to insult . " "_[135-graham] Now [you]_135-graham are beginning to speak fast and to breathe short ; but speak a little faster and breathe a little shorter , till [you]_135-graham have given an explanation - a full explanation : [I]_0-i must have it . " "_[135-graham] [You]_135-graham shall , [Dr. John]_135-graham . In some cases , [you]_135-graham are [a lavish , generous man]_{1976-a lavish , generous man} : [you]_135-graham are [a worshipper]_{1977-a worshipper} ever ready with the votive offering should [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} ever convert [you]_135-graham , [you]_135-graham will give [him]_{289-pere silas} abundance of alms for [[his]_{289-pere silas} poor]_{1978-his poor} , [you]_135-graham will supply [his]_{289-pere silas} altar with tapers , and the shrine of [[your]_135-graham favourite saint]_{1979-your favourite saint} [you]_135-graham will do [your]_135-graham best to enrich : [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , [Dr. John]_135-graham - " "_[135-graham] Hush ! " said [he]_0-i , "_[135-graham] do n't go on . " "_[135-graham] Hush , [I]_0-i will not : and go on [I]_0-i will : [Ginevra]_179-ginevra has had [her]_179-ginevra hands filled from [your]_135-graham hands more times than [I]_0-i can count . [You]_135-graham have sought for [her]_179-ginevra the costliest flowers ; [you]_135-graham have busied [your]_135-graham brain in devising gifts the most delicate : such , [one]_607-one would have thought , as [only a woman]_{1981-only a woman} could have imagined ; and in addition , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra owns a set of ornaments , to purchase which [your]_135-graham generosity must have verged on extravagance . " The modesty [Ginevra]_179-ginevra [herself]_179-ginevra had never evinced in this matter , now flushed all over the face of [[her]_179-ginevra admirer]_{5773-her admirer} . "_{[179-ginevra]} Nonsense ! " [he]_0-i said , destructively snipping a skein of silk with [my]_179-ginevra scissors . "_{[179-ginevra]} [I]_0-i offered them to please [myself]_0-i : [I]_0-i felt [she]_179-ginevra did [me]_0-i a favour in accepting them . " "_{[179-ginevra]} [She]_179-ginevra did more than a favour , [Dr. John]_135-graham : [she]_179-ginevra pledged [her]_179-ginevra very honour that [she]_179-ginevra would make [you]_135-graham some return ; and if [she]_179-ginevra can not pay [you]_135-graham in affection , [she]_179-ginevra ought to hand out a business - like equivalent , in the shape of some rouleaux of gold pieces . " "_{[179-ginevra]} But [you]_135-graham do n't understand [her]_179-ginevra ; [she]_179-ginevra is far too disinterested to care for [my]_0-i gifts , and too simple - minded to know their value . " [I]_179-ginevra laughed out : [I]_179-ginevra had heard [her]_179-ginevra adjudge to every jewel its price ; and well [I]_179-ginevra knew money - embarrassment , money - schemes ; money 's worth , and endeavours to realise supplies , had , young as [she]_179-ginevra was , furnished the most frequent , and the favourite stimulus of [her]_179-ginevra thoughts for years . [He]_0-i pursued . "_{[179-ginevra]} [You]_135-graham should have seen [her]_179-ginevra whenever [I]_0-i have laid on [her]_179-ginevra lap some trifle ; so cool , so unmoved : no eagerness to take , not even pleasure in contemplating . Just from amiable reluctance to grieve [me]_0-i , [she]_179-ginevra would permit the bouquet to lie beside [her]_179-ginevra , and perhaps consent to bear it away . Or , if [I]_0-i achieved the fastening of a bracelet on [her]_179-ginevra ivory arm , however pretty the trinket might be and [I]_0-i always carefully chose what seemed to [me]_0-i pretty , and what of course was not valueless , the glitter never dazzled [her]_179-ginevra bright eyes : [she]_179-ginevra would hardly cast one look on [my]_0-i gift " "_{[179-ginevra]} Then , of course , not valuing it , [she]_179-ginevra would unloose , and return it to [you]_0-i ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} No ; for such a repulse [she]_179-ginevra was too good - natured . [She]_179-ginevra would consent to seem to forget what [I]_0-i had done , and retain the offering with [lady - like quiet and easy oblivion]_{1982-lady - like quiet and easy oblivion} . Under such circumstances , how can [a man]_{823-a man} build on acceptance of [his]_{823-a man} presents as a favourable symptom ? For [my]_0-i part , were [I]_0-i to offer [her]_179-ginevra all [I]_0-i have , and [she]_179-ginevra to take it , such is [her]_179-ginevra incapacity to be swayed by sordid considerations , [I]_0-i should not venture to believe the transaction advanced [me]_0-i one step . " "_[135-graham] [Dr. John]_135-graham , " [I]_135-graham began , "_[135-graham] Love is blind ; " but just then a blue subtle ray sped sideways from [Dr. John]_135-graham 's eye : it reminded [me]_142-lucy of old days , it reminded [me]_142-lucy of [his]_135-graham picture : it half led [me]_142-lucy to think that part , at least , of [his]_135-graham professed persuasion of [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's naivete was assumed ; it led [me]_142-lucy dubiously to conjecture that perhaps , in spite of [his]_135-graham passion for [her]_179-ginevra beauty , [his]_135-graham appreciation of [her]_179-ginevra foibles might possibly be less mistaken , more clear - sighted , than from [his]_135-graham general language was presumable . After all it might be only a chance look , or at best the token of a merely momentary impression . Chance or intentional real or imaginary , it closed the conversation . CHAPTER XIX . [THE CLEOPATRA]_{294-the cleopatra} . [My]_142-lucy stay at [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} was prolonged a fortnight beyond the close of the vacation . [[Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's kind management]_{5774-mrs. bretton 's kind management} procured [me]_142-lucy this respite . [[Her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} having one day delivered the dictum that "_[142-lucy] [Lucy]_142-lucy was not yet strong enough to go back to [that den of [a pensionnat]_{1093-a pensionnat}]_{1984-that den of a pensionnat} , " [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} at once drove over to [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} , had an interview with [the directress]_{4887-the directress} , and procured the indulgence , on the plea of prolonged rest and change being necessary to perfect recovery . Hereupon , however , followed an attention [I]_142-lucy could very well have dispensed with , viz - a polite call from [Madame Beck]_190-madame . [That lady]_{577-that lady} - one fine day - actually came out in a fiacre as far as [the chateau]_{5779-the chateau} . [I]_142-lucy suppose [she]_{577-that lady} had resolved within [herself]_{577-that lady} to see what manner of place [Dr. John]_135-graham inhabited . Apparently , [the pleasant site and neat interior]_{5780-the pleasant site and neat interior} surpassed [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} expectations ; [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} eulogized all [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} saw , pronounced [the blue salon]_{5781-the blue salon} "_[142-lucy] une piece magnifique , " profusely congratulated [me]_142-lucy on the acquisition of [friends]_533-friends , "_[142-lucy] tellement dignes , aimables , et respectables , " turned also a neat compliment in [my]_142-lucy favour , and , upon [Dr. John]_135-graham coming in , ran up to [him]_135-graham with the utmost buoyancy , opening at the same time such a fire of rapid language , all sparkling with felicitations and protestations about [his]_135-graham "_[142-lucy] [chateau]_1986-chateau , " - "_[142-lucy] [madame sa mere]_{1987-madame sa mere} , la digne chatelaine : " also [his]_135-graham looks ; which , indeed , were very flourishing , and at the moment additionally embellished by the good - natured but amused smile with which [he]_135-graham always listened to [Madame]_190-madame 's fluent and florid French . In short , [Madame]_190-madame shone in [her]_190-madame very best phase that day , and came in and went out quite a living catherine - wheel of compliments , delight , and affability . Half purposely , and half to ask some question about school - business , [I]_142-lucy followed [her]_190-madame to [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} , and looked in after [she]_190-madame was seated and the door closed . In that brief fraction of time what a change had been wrought ! An instant ago , all sparkles and jests , [she]_190-madame now sat sterner than [a judge]_{4967-a judge} and graver than [a sage]_{5785-a sage} . [Strange little woman]_{5786-strange little woman} ! [I]_142-lucy went back and teased [Dr. John]_135-graham about [Madame]_190-madame 's devotion to [him]_135-graham . How [he]_135-graham laughed ! What fun shone in [his]_135-graham eyes as [he]_135-graham recalled some of [her]_190-madame fine speeches , and repeated them , imitating [her]_190-madame voluble delivery ! [He]_135-graham had an acute sense of humour , and was [the finest company in [the world]_{811-the world}]_{5787-the finest company in the world} - when [he]_135-graham could forget [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra . To ' sit in sunshine calm and sweet "_[142-lucy] is said to be excellent for [weak people]_{1988-weak people} ; it gives [them]_{1988-weak people} vital force . When [little Georgette Beck]_{295-little georgette beck} was recovering from [her]_{295-little georgette beck} illness , [I]_0-i used to take [her]_{295-little georgette beck} in [my]_0-i arms and walk with [her]_{295-little georgette beck} in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} by the hour together , beneath a certain wall hung with grapes , which the Southern sun was ripening : that sun cherished [her]_{295-little georgette beck} little pale frame quite as effectually as it mellowed and swelled the clustering fruit . There are human tempers , bland , glowing , and genial , within whose influence it is as good for [the poor in spirit to live]_{1990-the poor in spirit to live} , as it is for [the feeble in frame to bask in the glow of noon]_{1991-the feeble in frame to bask in the glow of noon} . Of the number of these choice natures were certainly both [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham 's and [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's . [They]_1993-they liked to communicate happiness , as some like to occasion misery : [they]_1993-they did it instinctively ; without fuss , and apparently with little consciousness ; the means to give pleasure rose spontaneously in [their]_1993-they minds . Every day while [I]_0-i stayed with [them]_1993-they , some little plan was proposed which resulted in beneficial enjoyment . Fully occupied as was [Dr. John]_135-graham 's time , [he]_135-graham still made it in [his]_135-graham way to accompany [us]_1994-us in each brief excursion . [I]_0-i can hardly tell how [he]_135-graham managed [his]_135-graham engagements ; they were numerous , yet by dint of system , [he]_135-graham classed them in an order which left [him]_135-graham a daily period of liberty . [I]_0-i often saw [him]_135-graham hard - worked , yet seldom over - driven , and never irritated , confused , or oppressed . What [he]_135-graham did was accomplished with the ease and grace of all - sufficing strength ; with the bountiful cheerfulness of high and unbroken energies . Under [his]_135-graham guidance [I]_0-i saw , in that one happy fortnight , more of [Villette]_3-villette , [its]_3-villette environs , and [[its]_3-villette inhabitants]_{1995-its inhabitants} , than [I]_0-i had seen in the whole eight months of [[my]_0-i previous residence]_{1996-my previous residence} . [He]_135-graham took [me]_0-i to places of interest in [the town]_{1306-the town} , of whose names [I]_0-i had not before so much as heard ; with willingness and spirit [he]_135-graham communicates . much noteworthy information . [He]_135-graham never seemed to think it a trouble to talk to [me]_0-i , and , [I]_0-i am sure , it was never a task to [me]_0-i to listen . It was not [his]_135-graham way to treat [subjects]_{1998-subjects} coldly and vaguely ; [he]_135-graham rarely generalized , never prosed . [He]_135-graham seemed to like nice details almost as much as [I]_0-i liked them [myself]_0-i : [he]_135-graham seemed observant of character : and not superficially observant , either . These points gave the quality of interest to [his]_135-graham discourse ; and the fact of [his]_135-graham speaking direct from [his]_135-graham own resources , and not borrowing or stealing from books - here a dry fact , and there a trite phrase , and elsewhere a hackneyed opinion - ensured a freshness , as welcome as it was rare . Before [my]_0-i eyes , too , [his]_135-graham disposition seemed to unfold another phase ; to pass to a fresh day : to rise in new and nobler dawn . [[His]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} possessed a good development of benevolence , but [he]_135-graham owned a better and larger . [I]_0-i found , on accompanying [him]_135-graham to [the Basse - Ville]_{74-the basse - ville} - [the poor and crowded quarter of [the city]_{4429-the city}]_{2000-the poor and crowded quarter of the city} - that [his]_135-graham errands there were as much those of [the philanthropist]_{2002-the philanthropist} as [the physician]_{1265-the physician} . [I]_0-i understood presently that cheerfully , habitually , and in single - minded unconsciousness of any special merit distinguishing [his]_135-graham deeds - [he]_135-graham was achieving , amongst [a very wretched population , a world of active good]_{2004-a very wretched population , a world of active good} . [The lower orders]_{2005-the lower orders} liked [him]_135-graham well ; [[his]_135-graham poor , patients in [the hospitals]_{2007-the hospitals}]_{2006-his poor , patients in the hospitals} welcomed [him]_135-graham with a sort of enthusiasm . But stop - [I]_0-i must not , from [the faithful narrator]_{2008-the faithful narrator} , degenerate into [the partial eulogist]_{2009-the partial eulogist} . Well , full well , do [I]_0-i know that [Dr. John]_135-graham was not perfect , anymore than [I]_0-i am perfect . Human fallibility leavened [him]_135-graham throughout : there was no hour , and scarcely a moment of the time [I]_0-i spent with [him]_135-graham that in act or speech , or look , [he]_135-graham did not betray something that was not of [a god]_{2010-a god} . [A god]_{2010-a god} could not have the cruel vanity of [Dr. John]_135-graham , nor [his]_135-graham sometime levity . , [No immortal]_{2012-no immortal} could have resembled [him]_135-graham in [his]_135-graham occasional temporary oblivion of all but the present - in [his]_135-graham passing passion for that present ; shown not coarsely , by devoting it to material indulgence , but selfishly , by extracting from it whatever it could yield of nutriment to [his]_135-graham masculine self- love : [his]_135-graham delight was to feed that ravenous sentiment , without thought of the price of provender , or care for the cost of keeping it sleek and high - pampered . [The reader]_{759-the reader} is requested to note a seeming contradiction in the two views which have been given of [Graham Bretton]_135-graham - [the public and private]_{2014-the public and private} - the out - door and the in - door view . In the first , [the public]_{2015-the public} , [he]_135-graham is shown oblivious of self ; as modest in the display of [his]_135-graham energies , as earnest in [their]_2016-their exercise . In the second , the fireside picture , there is expressed consciousness of what [he]_135-graham has and what [he]_135-graham is ; pleasure in homage , some recklessness in exciting , some vanity in receiving the same . Both portraits are correct . It was hardly possible to oblige [Dr. John]_135-graham quietly and in secret . When [you]_2017-you thought that the fabrication of some trifle dedicated to [his]_135-graham use had been achieved unnoticed , and that , like [other men]_{2018-other men} , [he]_135-graham would use it when placed ready for [his]_135-graham use , and never ask whence it came , [he]_135-graham amazed [you]_2017-you by a smilingly - uttered observation or two , proving that [his]_135-graham eye had been on the work from commencement to close : that [he]_135-graham had noted the design , traced its progress , and marked its completion . It pleased [him]_135-graham to be thus served , and [he]_135-graham let [his]_135-graham pleasure beam in [his]_135-graham eye and play about [his]_135-graham mouth . This would have been all very well , if [he]_135-graham had not added to such kindly and unobtrusive evidence a certain wilfulness in discharging what [he]_135-graham called debts . When [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} worked for [him]_135-graham , [he]_135-graham paid [her]_{534-his mother} by showering about [her]_{534-his mother} [his]_135-graham bright animal spirits , with even more affluence than [his]_135-graham gay , taunting , teasing , loving wo nt . If [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy were discovered to have put [her]_142-lucy hand to such work , [he]_135-graham planned , in recompence , some pleasant recreation . [I]_0-i often felt amazed at [his]_135-graham perfect knowledge of [Villette]_3-villette ; a knowledge not merely confined to [[its]_3-villette open streets]_{2020-its open streets} , but penetrating to all [its]_3-villette galleries , [salles]_2021-salles , and cabinets : of every door which shut in an object worth seeing , of [every museum]_{2022-every museum} , of [every hall]_{2023-every hall} , sacred to art or science , [he]_135-graham seemed to possess the " Open ! Sesame . "_[135-graham] [I]_0-i never had a head for science , but [an ignorant , blind , fond instinct]_{2024-an ignorant , blind , fond instinct} inclined [me]_0-i to art . [I]_0-i liked to visit [the picture - galleries]_{2025-the picture - galleries} , and [I]_0-i dearly liked to be left there alone . In company , a wretched idiosyncracy forbade [me]_0-i to see much or to feel anything . In [unfamiliar company]_{2026-unfamiliar company} , where it was necessary to maintain a flow of talk on the subjects in presence , half an hour would knock [me]_0-i up , with a combined pressure of physical lassitude and entire mental incapacity . [I]_0-i never yet saw [the well- reared child]_{2027-the well- reared child} , much less [the educated adult , who could not put [me]_0-i to shame , by the sustained intelligence of its demeanour under the ordeal of a conversable , sociable visitation of pictures , historical sights or [buildings]_{2029-buildings} , or any lions of public interest]_{2028-the educated adult , who could not put me to shame , by the sustained intelligence of its demeanour under the ordeal of a conversable , sociable visitation of pictures , historical sights or buildings , or any lions of public interest} . [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham was [a cicerone]_{2030-a cicerone} after [my]_0-i own heart ; [he]_135-graham would take [me]_0-i betimes , ere [the galleries]_{2031-the galleries} were filled , leave [me]_0-i [there]_512-there for two or three hours , and call for [me]_0-i when [his]_135-graham own engagements were discharged . Meantime , [I]_0-i was happy ; happy , not always in admiring , but in examining , questioning , and forming conclusions . In the commencement of these visits , there was some misunderstanding and consequent struggle between Will and Power . [The former faculty]_{2033-the former faculty} exacted approbation of that which it was considered orthodox to admire ; [the latter]_{541-the latter} groaned forth [its]_{541-the latter} utter inability to pay the tax ; it was then self - sneered at , spurred up , goaded on to refine [its]_{541-the latter} taste , and whet [its]_{541-the latter} zest . The more it was chidden , however , the more it would n't praise . Discovering gradually that a wonderful sense of fatigue resulted from these conscientious efforts , [I]_0-i began to reflect whether [I]_0-i might not dispense with that great labour , and concluded eventually that [I]_0-i might , and so sank supine into a luxury of calm before ninety - nine out of a hundred of the exhibited frames . It seemed to [me]_0-i that an original and good picture was just as scarce as an original and good book ; nor did [I]_0-i , in the end , tremble to say to [myself]_0-i , standing before certain chef - d'oeuvres bearing great names , " These are not a whit like nature . [Nature]_296-nature 's daylight never had that colour : never was made so turbid , either by storm or cloud , as it is laid out there , under a sky of indigo : and that indigo is not ether ; and those dark weeds plastered upon it are not trees . "_[0-i] [Several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women]_{2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women} struck [me]_0-i as by no means [the goddesses [they]_{2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women} appeared to consider [themselves]_{2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women}]_{2036-the goddesses they appeared to consider themselves} . Many scores of marvellously - finished little Flemish pictures , and also of sketches , excellent for fashion - books displaying varied costumes in the handsomest materials , gave evidence of laudable industry whimsically applied . And yet there were fragments of truth here and there which satisfied the conscience , and gleams of light that cheered the vision . [Nature]_296-nature 's power here broke through in a mountain snow- storm ; and there [her]_296-nature glory in a sunny southern day . An expression in this portrait proved clear insight into character ; a face in that historical painting , by its vivid filial likeness , startlingly reminded [you]_2037-you that [genius]_2038-genius gave it birth . These exceptions [I]_0-i loved : [they]_{2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women} grew dear as [friends]_533-friends . One day , at a quiet early hour , [I]_0-i found [myself]_0-i nearly alone in [a certain gallery]_{2040-a certain gallery} , wherein one particular picture of portentous size , set up in the best light , having a cordon of protection stretched before it , and a cushioned bench duly set in front for the accommodation of [worshipping connoisseurs]_{2041-worshipping connoisseurs} , who , having gazed [themselves]_{2041-worshipping connoisseurs} off [their]_{2041-worshipping connoisseurs} feet , might be fain to complete the business sitting : this picture , [I]_0-i say , seemed to consider [itself]_2042-itself [the queen of the collection]_{2043-the queen of the collection} . It represented [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , considerably larger , [I]_0-i thought , than the life . [I]_0-i calculated that [this lady , put into a scale of magnitude , suitable for the reception of a commodity of bulk]_{2045-this lady , put into a scale of magnitude , suitable for the reception of a commodity of bulk} , would infallibly turn from fourteen to sixteen stone . [She]_{4363-a woman} was , indeed , extremely well fed : very much [butcher]_2046-butcher 's meat - to say nothing of bread , vegetables , and liquids - must [she]_{4363-a woman} have consumed to attain that breadth and height , that wealth of muscle , that affluence of flesh . [She]_{4363-a woman} lay half - reclined on a couch : why , it would be difficult to say ; broad daylight blazed round [her]_{4363-a woman} ; [she]_{4363-a woman} appeared in hearty health , strong enough to do the work of [two plain cooks]_{2047-two plain cooks} ; [she]_{4363-a woman} could not plead a weak spine ; [she]_{4363-a woman} ought to have been standing , or at least sitting bolt upright . [She]_{4363-a woman} , had no business to lounge away the noon on a sofa . [She]_{4363-a woman} ought likewise to have worn decent garments ; a gown covering [her]_{4363-a woman} properly , which was not the case : out of abundance of material - seven - and - twenty yards , [I]_0-i should say , of drapery - [she]_{4363-a woman} managed to make inefficient raiment . Then , for the wretched untidiness surrounding [her]_{4363-a woman} , there could be no excuse . Pots and pans - perhaps [I]_0-i ought to say vases and goblets - were rolled here and there on the foreground ; a perfect rubbish of flowers was mixed amongst them , and an absurd and disorderly mass of curtain upholstery smothered the couch and cumbered the floor . On referring to the catalogue , [I]_0-i found that this notable production bore the name " [Cleopatra]_{294-the cleopatra} . "_[0-i] Well , [I]_0-i was sitting wondering at [it]_2048-it as the bench was there , [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i might as well take advantage of [its]_2048-it accommodation , and thinking that while some of the details - as roses , gold cups , jewels , c. , were very prettily painted , it was on the whole an enormous piece of claptrap ; [the room]_{600-the room} , almost vacant when [I]_0-i entered , began to fill . Scarcely noticing this circumstance as , indeed , it did not matter to [me]_0-i [I]_0-i retained [my]_0-i seat ; rather to rest [myself]_0-i than with a view to studying [this huge , dark - complexioned gipsy - queen]_{2050-this huge , dark - complexioned gipsy - queen} ; of whom , indeed , [I]_0-i soon tired , and betook [myself]_0-i for refreshment to the contemplation of some exquisite little pictures of still life : wild - flowers , wild- fruit , mossy woodnests , casketing eggs that looked like pearls seen through [clear green sea - water]_{2051-clear green sea - water} ; all hung modestly beneath that coarse and preposterous canvas . Suddenly a light tap visited [my]_0-i shoulder . Starting , turning , [I]_0-i met a face bent to encounter [mine]_0-i ; a frowning , almost a shocked face it was . " Que faites - vous ici ? "_{[196-m. paul]} said a voice . " Mais , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , je m'amuse . "_{[196-m. paul]} " Vous vous amusez ! et a quoi , s'il vous plait ? Mais d'abord , faites- moi le plaisir de vous lever ; prenez mon bras , et allons de l'autre cote . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did precisely as [I]_0-i was bid . [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} it was [he]_{196-m. paul} returned from [Rome]_54-rome , and now [a travelled man]_{2052-a travelled man} , was not likely to be less tolerant of insubordination now , than before this added distinction laurelled [his]_{196-m. paul} temples . " Permit [me]_{196-m. paul} to conduct [you]_0-i to [your]_0-i party , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} , as [we]_2053-we crossed [the room]_{600-the room} . " [I]_{196-m. paul} have [no party]_{5790-no party} . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [You]_{196-m. paul} are not alone ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " Yes , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} . "_{[196-m. paul]} " Did [you]_{196-m. paul} come [here]_4212-here unaccompanied ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " No , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} . [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham brought [me]_{196-m. paul} [here]_4212-here . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham and [Madame]_190-madame [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} , of course ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " No ; only [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham . "_{[196-m. paul]} " And [he]_135-graham told [you]_{196-m. paul} to look at that picture ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " By no means ; [I]_{196-m. paul} found it out for [myself]_{196-m. paul} . "_{[196-m. paul]} [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's hair was shorn close as raven down , or [I]_0-i think it would have bristled on [his]_{196-m. paul} head . Beginning now to perceive [his]_{196-m. paul} drift , [I]_0-i had a certain pleasure in keeping cool , and working [him]_{196-m. paul} up . " Astounding insular audacity ! "_{[2055-the professor]} cried [the Professor]_{2055-the professor} . " Singulieres femmes que ces Anglaises ! "_{[2055-the professor]} " What is the matter , [Monsieur]_{5796-monsieur} ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " Matter ! How dare [you]_{5796-monsieur} , [a young person]_{5797-a young person} , sit coolly down , with the self- possession of [a garcon]_{5798-a garcon} , and look at that picture ? "_{[2055-the professor]} " It is a very ugly picture , but [I]_{2055-the professor} can not at all see why [I]_{2055-the professor} should not look at it "_{[2055-the professor]} " Bon ! bon ! Speak no more of it . But [you]_{5796-monsieur} ought not to be here alone . "_{[196-m. paul]} ' If , however , [I]_0-i have [no society]_{2056-no society} - no party , as [you]_{2055-the professor} say ? And then , what does it signify whether [I]_0-i am alone , or accompanied ? [nobody]_4256-nobody meddles with [me]_0-i . " "_{[4256-nobody]} Taisez - vous , et asseyez - vous la - la ! " - setting down a chair with emphasis in a particularly dull corner , before [a series of most specially dreary "_{[4256-nobody]} cadres]_{5799-a series of most specially dreary " cadres} . " "_{[4256-nobody]} Mais , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} ? " "_[297-mais] [Mais]_297-mais , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , asseyez - vous , et ne bougez pas - entendez - vous ? - jusqu'a ce qu'on vienne vous chercher , ou que je vous donne la permission . " "_[298-mariee] Quel triste coin ! " cried [I]_298-mariee , "_[298-mariee] et quelles laids tableaux ! " And "_[298-mariee] laids , " indeed , they were ; being a set of four , denominated in the catalogue "_[298-mariee] La vie d'une femme . " They were painted rather in a remarkable style - flat , dead , pale , and formal . The first represented a "_[298-mariee] Jeune Fille , " coming out of [a church]_{5473-a church} - door , a missal in [her]_298-mariee hand , [her]_298-mariee dress very prim , [her]_298-mariee eyes cast down , [her]_298-mariee mouth pursed up - the image of [a most villanous little precocious [she]_{5801-a most villanous little precocious she - hypocrite} - hypocrite]_{5801-a most villanous little precocious she - hypocrite} . [The second]_{1505-the second} , a "_[298-mariee] [Mariee]_298-mariee , " with a long white veil , kneeling at a prie - dieu in [[her]_298-mariee chamber]_{1070-her chamber} , holding [her]_298-mariee hands plastered together , finger to finger , and showing the whites of [her]_298-mariee eyes in a most exasperating manner . The third , a "_[298-mariee] [Jeune Mere]_{299-jeune mere} , " hanging disconsolate over [a clayey and puffy baby with a face like an unwholesome full moon]_{5804-a clayey and puffy baby with a face like an unwholesome full moon} . The fourth , a "_{[299-jeune mere]} Veuve , " being [a black woman]_{5805-a black woman} , holding by the hand [a black little girl]_{5806-a black little girl} , and [the twain]_{5807-the twain} studiously surveying [an elegant French monument , set up in a corner of [some Pere la Chaise]_{5809-some pere la chaise}]_{5808-an elegant french monument , set up in a corner of some pere la chaise} . All these four "_{[299-jeune mere]} Anges " were grim and grey as [burglars]_{5810-burglars} , and cold and vapid as ghosts . What [women]_4398-women to live with ! insincere , ill - humoured , bloodless , brainless nonentities ! As bad in [their]_4398-women way as the indolent gipsy - giantess , [the Cleopatra]_{5812-the cleopatra} , in [hers]_{5812-the cleopatra} . It was impossible to keep [one]_607-one 's attention long confined to these master - pieces , and so , by degrees , [I]_2060-i veered round , and surveyed [the gallery]_{5814-the gallery} . [A perfect crowd of spectators]_{5815-a perfect crowd of spectators} was by this time gathered round [the Lioness]_{5816-the lioness} , from whose vicinage [I]_2060-i had been banished ; nearly half [this crowd]_{5817-this crowd} were [ladies]_622-ladies , but [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} afterwards told [me]_2060-i , these were "_[2060-i] [des dames]_{2059-des dames} , " and it was quite proper for [them]_{5815-a perfect crowd of spectators} to contemplate what [no "_[2060-i] demoiselle "]_{5819-no " demoiselle "} ought to glance at . [I]_2060-i assured [him]_{196-m. paul} plainly [I]_2060-i could not agree in this doctrine , and did not see the sense of it ; whereupon , with [his]_{196-m. paul} usual absolutism , [he]_{196-m. paul} merely requested [my]_2060-i silence , and also , in the same breath , denounced [my]_2060-i mingled rashness and ignorance . [A more despotic little man]_{5820-a more despotic little man} than [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} never filled [a professor]_{5821-a professor} 's chair . [I]_2060-i noticed , by the way , that [he]_{196-m. paul} looked at the picture [himself]_{196-m. paul} quite at [his]_{196-m. paul} ease , and for a very long while : [he]_{196-m. paul} did not , however , neglect to glance from time to time [my]_2060-i way , in order , [I]_2060-i suppose , to make sure that [I]_2060-i was obeying orders , and not breaking bounds . By - and- by , [he]_{196-m. paul} again accosted [me]_2060-i . "_[2060-i] Had [I]_0-i not been ill ? " [he]_{196-m. paul} wished to know : "_[2060-i] [he]_2060-i understood [I]_0-i had . " "_[2060-i] Yes , but [I]_0-i was now quite well . " "_[2060-i] Where had [I]_0-i spent the vacation ? " "_[2060-i] Chiefly in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} ; partly with [Madame Bretton]_{300-madame bretton} . " "_[2060-i] [He]_2060-i had heard that [I]_0-i was left alone in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} ; was that so ? " "_[2060-i] Not quite alone : [Marie Broc]_139-polly " [the cretin]_{5420-the cretin} "_[0-i] was with [me]_0-i . " [He]_{196-m. paul} shrugged [his]_{196-m. paul} shoulders ; varied and contradictory expressions played rapidly over [his]_{196-m. paul} countenance . [Marie Broc]_139-polly was well known to [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; [he]_{196-m. paul} never gave a lesson in the third division containing [the least advanced pupils]_{5823-the least advanced pupils} , that [she]_139-polly did not occasion in [him]_{196-m. paul} a sharp conflict between antagonistic impressions . [Her]_139-polly personal appearance , [her]_139-polly repulsive manners , [her]_139-polly often unmanageable disposition , irritated [his]_{196-m. paul} temper , and inspired [him]_{196-m. paul} with strong antipathy ; a feeling [he]_{196-m. paul} was too apt to conceive when [his]_{196-m. paul} taste was offended or [his]_{196-m. paul} will thwarted . On the other hand , [her]_139-polly misfortunes , constituted a strong claim on [his]_{196-m. paul} forbearance and compassion - such a claim as it was not in [his]_{196-m. paul} nature to deny ; hence resulted almost daily drawn battles between impatience and disgust on the one hand , pity and a sense of justice on the other ; in which , to [his]_{196-m. paul} credit be it said , it was very seldom that the former feelings prevailed : when they did , however , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} showed a phase of character which had its terrors . [His]_{196-m. paul} passions were strong , [his]_{196-m. paul} aversions and attachments alike vivid ; the force [he]_{196-m. paul} exerted in holding both in check by no means mitigated [an observer]_{5824-an observer} 's sense of [their]_5825-their vehemence . With such tendencies , it may well be supposed [he]_{196-m. paul} often excited in ordinary minds fear and dislike ; yet it was an error to fear [him]_{196-m. paul} : nothing drove [him]_{196-m. paul} so nearly frantic as the tremor of an apprehensive and distrustful spirit ; nothing soothed [him]_{196-m. paul} like confidence tempered with gentleness . To evince these sentiments , however , required a thorough comprehension of [his]_{196-m. paul} nature ; and [his]_{196-m. paul} nature was of an order rarely comprehended . "_[0-i] How did [you]_2063-you get on with [Marie Broc]_139-polly ? " [he]_{196-m. paul} asked , after some minutes ' silence . "_{[2064-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{2064-monsieur} , [I]_0-i did [my]_0-i best ; but it was terrible to be alone with [her]_139-polly ! " "_[2063-you] [You]_2063-you have , then , a weak heart ! [You]_2063-you lack courage ; and , perhaps , charity . [Yours]_2063-you are not the qualities which might constitute [a Sister of Mercy]_{2065-a sister of mercy} . " [He]_{196-m. paul} was [a religious little man]_{5826-a religious little man} , in [his]_{196-m. paul} way : the self - denying and self- sacrificing part of [the Catholic religion]_{5827-the catholic religion} commanded the homage of [his]_{196-m. paul} soul . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i do n't know , indeed : [I]_0-i took as good care of [her]_139-polly as [I]_0-i could ; but when [[her]_139-polly aunt]_{2066-her aunt} came to fetch [her]_139-polly away , it was a great relief . " "_{[2066-her aunt]} Ah ! [you]_2063-you are [an egotist]_{1504-an egotist} . There are women who have nursed [hospitals]_{2068-hospitals} - full of [similar unfortunates]_{2069-similar unfortunates} . [You]_2063-you could not do that ? " "_[2063-you] Could [Monsieur]_{2070-monsieur} do it [himself]_{2070-monsieur} ? " "_{[2070-monsieur]} [Women who are worthy the name]_{2071-women who are worthy the name} ought infinitely to surpass ; [our]_2072-our coarse , fallible , self - indulgent sex , in the power to perform such duties . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i washed [her]_139-polly , [I]_0-i kept [her]_139-polly clean , [I]_0-i fed [her]_139-polly , [I]_0-i tried to amuse [her]_139-polly ; but [she]_139-polly made mouths at [me]_0-i instead of speaking . " "_[139-polly] [You]_2063-you think [you]_2063-you did great things ? " "_[2063-you] No ; but as great as [I]_0-i could do . " "_[0-i] Then limited are [your]_2063-you powers , for in [tending one idiot]_{2073-tending one idiot} [you]_2063-you fell sick . " "_{[2074-monsieur]} Not with that , [Monsieur]_{2074-monsieur} ; [I]_0-i had a nervous fever : [my]_0-i mind was ill . " "_[0-i] Vraiment ! Vous valez peu de chose . [You]_2063-you are not cast in an heroic mould ; [your]_2063-you courage will not avail to sustain [you]_2063-you in solitude ; it merely gives [you]_2063-you the temerity to gaze with sang - froid at pictures of [Cleopatra]_{294-the cleopatra} . " It would have been easy to show anger at the teasing , hostile tone of [the little man]_{1008-the little man} . [I]_{294-the cleopatra} had never been angry with [him]_{1008-the little man} yet , however , and had no present disposition to begin . "_{[294-the cleopatra]} [Cleopatra]_{294-the cleopatra} ! " [I]_{294-the cleopatra} repeated , quietly . "_{[294-the cleopatra]} [Monsieur]_{2075-monsieur} , too , has been looking at [Cleopatra]_{294-the cleopatra} ; what does [he]_{2075-monsieur} think of [her]_{294-the cleopatra} ? " "_{[2075-monsieur]} Cela ne vaut rien , " [he]_{1008-the little man} responded . "_{[2075-monsieur]} Une femme superbe - une taille d'imperatrice , des formes de [Junon]_301-junon , mais [une personne]_{2076-une personne} do nt je ne voudrais ni pour femme , ni pour fille , [ni pour soeur]_{2077-ni pour soeur} . Aussi vous ne jeterez plus un seul coup d'oeil de sa cote . " "_{[2077-ni pour soeur]} But [I]_0-i have looked at [her]_{294-the cleopatra} a great many times while [Monsieur]_{2078-monsieur} has been talking : [I]_0-i can see [her]_{294-the cleopatra} quite well from this corner . " "_{[2078-monsieur]} Turn to the wall and study [your]_2063-you four pictures of [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's life . " "_{[2078-monsieur]} Excuse [me]_0-i , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; they are too hideous : but if [you]_{196-m. paul} admire them , allow [me]_0-i to vacate [my]_0-i seat and leave [you]_{196-m. paul} to [their]_2080-their contemplation . " "_[0-i] [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , " [he]_0-i said , grimacing a half - smile , or what [he]_0-i intended for a smile , though it was but a grim and hurried manifestation . "_{[196-m. paul]} [[You]_{196-m. paul} nurslings of Protestantism]_{2081-you nurslings of protestantism} astonish [me]_0-i . [[You]_{196-m. paul} unguarded Englishwomen]_{2082-you unguarded englishwomen} walk calmly amidst red - hot ploughshares and escape burning . [I]_0-i believe , if some of [you]_{196-m. paul} were thrown into [Nebuchadnezzar]_{236-nebuchadnezzar} 's hottest furnace [you]_{196-m. paul} would issue forth untraversed by the smell of fire . " "_{[196-m. paul]} Will [Monsieur]_{2083-monsieur} have the goodness to move an inch to one side ? " "_{[2083-monsieur]} How ! At what are [you]_0-i gazing now ? [You]_0-i are not recognising an acquaintance amongst [that group of jeunes gens]_{2084-that group of jeunes gens} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think so - Yes , [I]_0-i see there a person [I]_0-i know . " In fact , [I]_2085-i had caught a glimpse of a head too pretty to belong to any other than the redoubted [Colonel de Hamal]_230-alfred . What a very finished , highly polished little pate it was ! What [a figure , so trim and natty]_{5829-a figure , so trim and natty} ! What womanish feet and hands ! How daintily [he]_0-i held a glass to one of [his]_0-i optics ! with what admiration [he]_0-i gazed upon [the Cleopatra]_{294-the cleopatra} ! and then , how engagingly [he]_0-i tittered and whispered [a friend]_{1797-a friend} at [his]_0-i elbow ! Oh , [the man of sense]_{5831-the man of sense} ! Oh , [the refined gentleman of superior taste and tact]_{5832-the refined gentleman of superior taste and tact} ! [I]_2085-i observed [him]_0-i for about ten minutes , and perceived that [he]_0-i was exceedingly taken with [this dusk and portly Venus of [the Nile]_{75-the nile}]_{5833-this dusk and portly venus of the nile} . So much was [I]_2085-i interested in [his]_0-i bearing , so absorbed in divining [his]_0-i character by [his]_0-i looks and movements , [I]_2085-i temporarily forgot [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; in the interim [a group]_{5834-a group} came between [that gentleman]_{5254-that gentleman} and [me]_2085-i ; or possibly [his]_0-i scruples might have received another and worse shock from [my]_2085-i present abstraction , causing [him]_0-i to withdraw voluntarily : at any rate , when [I]_2085-i again looked round , [he]_0-i was gone . [My]_2085-i eye , pursuant of the search , met not [him]_0-i , but another and dissimilar figure , well seen amidst [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} , for the height as well as the port lent each its distinction . This way came [Dr. John]_135-graham , in visage , in shape , in hue , as unlike [the dark , acerb , and caustic little professor]_{5837-the dark , acerb , and caustic little professor} , as the fruit of the Hesperides might be unlike the sloe in the wild thicket ; as [the high - couraged but tractable [Arabian]_302-arabian]_{5838-the high - couraged but tractable arabian} is unlike [the rude and stubborn ' sheltie]_{5839-the rude and stubborn ' sheltie} . "_[2085-i] [He]_2085-i was looking for [me]_0-i , but had not yet explored the corner where [the schoolmaster]_{2086-the schoolmaster} had just put [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i remained quiet ; yet another minute [I]_0-i would watch . [He]_2085-i approached [de Hamal]_230-alfred ; [he]_2085-i paused near [him]_230-alfred ; [I]_0-i thought [he]_2085-i had a pleasure in looking over [his]_2085-i head ; [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , too , gazed on [the Cleopatra]_{294-the cleopatra} . [I]_0-i doubt if it were to [his]_135-graham taste : [he]_135-graham did not simper like [the little Count]_{2087-the little count} ; [his]_135-graham mouth looked fastidious , [his]_135-graham eye cool ; without demonstration [he]_135-graham stepped aside , leaving room for [others]_770-others to approach . [I]_0-i saw now that [he]_135-graham was waiting , and , rising , [I]_0-i joined [him]_135-graham . [We]_2089-we took one turn round [the gallery]_{5814-the gallery} ; with [Graham]_135-graham it was very pleasant to take such a turn . [I]_0-i always liked dearly to hear what [he]_135-graham had to say about either pictures or books ; because without pretending to be [a connoisseur]_{2091-a connoisseur} , [he]_135-graham always spoke [his]_135-graham thought , and that was sure to be fresh : very often it was also just and pithy . It was pleasant also to tell [him]_135-graham some things [he]_135-graham did not know - [he]_135-graham listened so kindly , so teachably ; unformalized by scruples lest so to bend [his]_135-graham bright handsome head , to gather [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's rather obscure and stammering explanation , should imperil the dignity of [his]_135-graham manhood . And when [he]_135-graham communicated information in return , it was with a lucid intelligence that left all [his]_135-graham words clear graven on the memory ; no explanation of [his]_135-graham giving , no fact of [his]_135-graham narrating , did [I]_0-i ever forget . As [we]_2089-we left [the gallery]_{5814-the gallery} , [I]_0-i asked [him]_135-graham what [he]_135-graham thought of [the Cleopatra]_{294-the cleopatra} after making [him]_135-graham laugh by telling [him]_135-graham how [Professor Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} had sent [me]_0-i to the right about , and taking [him]_135-graham to see the sweet series of pictures recommended to [my]_0-i attention . " Pooh ! "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham . " [[My]_135-graham mother]_{4268-my mother} is [a better - looking woman]_{5841-a better - looking woman} . [I]_135-graham heard some French fops , yonder , designating [her]_{4268-my mother} as ' le type du voluptueux ; ' if so , [I]_135-graham can only say , ' le voluptueux ' is little to [my]_135-graham liking . Compare [that mulatto]_{5842-that mulatto} with [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ! "_[135-graham] CHAPTER XX . THE CONCERT . One morning , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , coming promptly into [[my]_0-i room]_{1110-my room} , desired [me]_0-i to open [my]_0-i drawers and show [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} [my]_0-i dresses ; which [I]_0-i did , without a word . " That will do , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} said [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} , when [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had turned them over . " [You]_0-i must have a new one . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} went out . [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} returned presently with [a dressmaker]_{2095-a dressmaker} . [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} had [me]_0-i measured . " [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} mean , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} said [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} , " to follow [my]_{130-mrs. bretton} own taste , and to have [my]_{130-mrs. bretton} own way in this little matter . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} Two days after came [home]_542-home - a pink dress ! " That is not for [me]_0-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , hurriedly , feeling that [I]_0-i would almost as soon clothe [myself]_0-i in the costume of [a Chinese lady of rank]_{2097-a chinese lady of rank} . " [We]_5843-we shall see whether it is for [you]_0-i or not , "_[0-i] rejoined [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} , adding with [her]_{506-my godmother} resistless decision : " Mark [my]_0-i words . [You]_0-i will wear it this very evening . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i should not ; [I]_0-i thought [no human force]_{2099-no human force} should avail to put [me]_0-i into it . A pink dress ! [I]_0-i knew it not . [It]_2100-it knew not [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had not proved it . [[My]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} went on to decree that [I]_0-i was to go with [her]_{506-my godmother} and [Graham]_135-graham to a concert that same night : which concert , [she]_{506-my godmother} explained , was a grand affair to be held in [the large salle , or hall , of [the principal musical society]_{2103-the principal musical society}]_{2102-the large salle , or hall , of the principal musical society} . [The most advanced of [the pupils of the Conservatoire]_{2105-the pupils of the conservatoire}]_{2104-the most advanced of the pupils of the conservatoire} were to perform : it was to be followed by a lottery " au benefice des pauvres ; "_{[506-my godmother]} and to crown all , [the King]_{1283-the king} , [Queen]_2107-queen , and [Prince of Labassecour]_{304-prince of labassecour} were to be present . [Graham]_135-graham , in sending tickets , had enjoined attention to costume as a compliment due to [royalty]_2108-royalty : [he]_135-graham also recommended punctual readiness by [seven o'clock]_{2109-seven o'clock} . About six , [I]_0-i was ushered [upstairs]_{4304-upstairs} . Without any force at all , [I]_0-i found [myself]_0-i led and influenced by another 's will , unconsulted , unpersuaded , quietly overruled . In short , the pink dress went on , softened by some drapery of black lace . [I]_0-i was pronounced to be en grande tenue , and requested to look in the glass . [I]_0-i did so with some fear and trembling ; with more fear and trembling , [I]_0-i turned away . Seven o'clock struck ; [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham was come ; [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} and [I]_0-i went down . [She]_{506-my godmother} was clad in brown velvet ; as [I]_0-i walked in [her]_{506-my godmother} shadow , how [I]_0-i envied [her]_{506-my godmother} those folds of grave , dark majesty ! [Graham]_135-graham stood in the drawing - room doorway . " [I]_135-graham do hope [he]_135-graham will not think [I]_135-graham have been decking [myself]_135-graham out to draw attention , "_[135-graham] was [my]_0-i uneasy aspiration . " Here , [Lucy]_142-lucy , are some flowers , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham , giving [me]_0-i a bouquet . [He]_135-graham took no further notice of [my]_0-i dress than was conveyed in a kind smile and satisfied nod , which calmed at once [my]_0-i sense of shame and fear of ridicule . For the rest ; the dress was made with extreme simplicity , guiltless of flounce or furbelow ; it was but the light fabric and bright tint which scared [me]_0-i , and since [Graham]_135-graham found in it nothing absurd , [my]_0-i own eye consented soon to become reconciled . [I]_0-i suppose [people who go every night to places of public amusement]_{2112-people who go every night to places of public amusement} , can hardly enter into the fresh gala feeling with which an opera or a concert is enjoyed by [those for whom it is a rarity]_{2113-those for whom it is a rarity} : [I]_0-i am not sure that [I]_0-i expected great pleasure from the concert , having but a very vague notion of its nature , but [I]_0-i liked [the drive there]_{2114-the drive there} well . The snug comfort of [the close carriage]_{2115-the close carriage} on a cold though fine night , the pleasure of setting out with [companions so cheerful and friendly]_{2116-companions so cheerful and friendly} , the sight of the stars glinting fitfully through the trees as [we]_2117-we rolled along [the avenue]_{5681-the avenue} ; then the freer burst of the night - sky when [we]_2117-we issued forth to [the open chaussee]_{2119-the open chaussee} , the passage through the city gates , the lights there burning , [the guards]_{2120-the guards} [there]_512-there posted , the pretence of inspection , to which [we]_2117-we there submitted , and which amused [us]_2117-we so much - all these small matters had for [me]_0-i , in [their]_2122-their novelty , a peculiarly exhilarating charm . How much of it lay in the atmosphere of friendship diffused about [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i know not : [Dr. John]_135-graham and [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} were both in [their]_2122-their finest mood , contending animatedly with each other the whole way , and as frankly kind to [me]_0-i as if [I]_0-i had been of [[their]_2122-their kin]_{2124-their kin} . [Our]_2117-we way lay through [some of [the best streets of [Villette]_3-villette]_{2126-the best streets of villette}]_{2125-some of the best streets of villette} , [streets]_2127-streets brightly lit , and far more lively now than at high noon . How brilliant seemed [the shops]_{2128-the shops} ! How glad , gay , and abundant flowed the tide of life along [the broad pavement]_{2129-the broad pavement} ! While [I]_0-i looked , the thought of [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} came across [me]_0-i - of [the walled - in garden]_{2130-the walled - in garden} and [school - house]_{5243-school - house} , and of the dark , vast " classes , "_[0-i] where , as at this very hour , it was [my]_0-i wo nt to wander all solitary , gazing at the stars through the high , blindless windows , and listening to the distant voice of [the reader in the refectory]_{2132-the reader in the refectory} , monotonously exercised upon the " lecture pieuse . "_[0-i] Thus must [I]_0-i soon again listen and wander ; and this shadow of the future stole with timely sobriety across the radiant present . By this time [we]_2117-we had got into a current of carriages all tending in one direction , and soon the front of [a great illuminated building]_{2133-a great illuminated building} blazed before [us]_2117-we . Of what [I]_0-i should see within [this building]_{2134-this building} , [I]_0-i had , as before intimated , but an imperfect idea ; for no place of public entertainment had it ever been [my]_0-i lot to enter yet . [We]_2117-we alighted under [a portico]_{4707-a portico} where there was a great bustle and [a great crowd]_{2136-a great crowd} , but [I]_0-i do not distinctly remember further details , until [I]_0-i found [myself]_0-i mounting [a majestic staircase wide and easy of ascent]_{2137-a majestic staircase wide and easy of ascent} , deeply and softly carpeted with crimson , leading up to great doors closed solemnly , and whose panels were also crimson - clothed . [I]_0-i hardly noticed by what magic these doors were made to roll back - [Dr. John]_135-graham managed these points ; roll back they did , however , and within was disclosed [a hall]_{2138-a hall} - grand , wide , and high , whose sweeping circular walls , and domed hollow ceiling , seemed to [me]_0-i all dead gold thus with nice art was it stained , relieved by cornicing , fluting , and garlandry , either bright , like gold burnished , or snow - white , like alabaster , or white and gold mingled in wreaths of gilded leaves and spotless lilies : wherever drapery hung , wherever carpets were spread , or cushions placed , the sole colour employed was deep crimson . Pendent from the dome , flamed a mass that dazzled [me]_0-i - a mass , [I]_0-i thought , of rock - crystal , sparkling with facets , streaming with drops , ablaze with stars , and gorgeously tinged with dews of gems dissolved , or fragments of rainbows shivered . It was only the chandelier , reader , but for [me]_0-i it seemed the work of [eastern genii]_{2139-eastern genii} : [I]_0-i almost looked to see if a huge , dark , cloudy hand - that of [the Slave of the Lamp]_{2140-the slave of the lamp} - were not hovering in the lustrous and perfumed atmosphere of the cupola , guarding [its]_{2134-this building} wondrous treasure . [We]_2117-we moved on - [I]_0-i was not at all conscious whither - but at some turn [we]_2117-we suddenly encountered [another party]_{2141-another party} approaching from the opposite direction . [I]_0-i just now see that group , as it flashed - upon [me]_0-i for one moment . [A handsome middle - aged lady in dark velvet]_{2142-a handsome middle - aged lady in dark velvet} ; [a gentleman who might be [[her]_{2142-a handsome middle - aged lady in dark velvet} son]_{532-her son}]_{2143-a gentleman who might be her son} - the best face , the finest figure , [I]_0-i thought , [I]_0-i had ever seen ; [a third person in a pink dress and black lace mantle]_{2145-a third person in a pink dress and black lace mantle} . [I]_0-i noted [them]_2146-them all - [the third person]_{2147-the third person} as well as [the other two]_{2148-the other two} - and for the fraction of a moment believed [them]_2146-them [all strangers]_{2149-all strangers} , thus receiving an impartial impression of [their]_2146-them appearance . But the impression was hardly felt and not fixed , before the consciousness that [I]_0-i faced a great mirror , filling a compartment between two pillars , dispelled it : the party was [[our]_2117-we own party]_{2150-our own party} . Thus for the first , and perhaps only time in [my]_0-i life , [I]_0-i enjoyed the " giftie "_[770-others] of seeing [myself]_0-i as [others]_770-others see [me]_0-i . No need to dwell on the result . It brought a jar of discord , a pang of regret ; it was not flattering , yet , after all , [I]_0-i ought to be thankful ; it might have been worse . At last , [we]_2117-we were seated in places commanding a good general view of [that vast and dazzling , but warm and cheerful hall]_{2152-that vast and dazzling , but warm and cheerful hall} . Already [it]_{2152-that vast and dazzling , but warm and cheerful hall} was filled , and filled with a splendid assemblage . [I]_0-i do not know that [the women]_{4558-the women} were very beautiful , but [their]_{4558-the women} dresses were so perfect ; and [foreigners]_{4583-foreigners} , even such as are ungraceful in domestic privacy , seem to posses the art of appearing graceful in public : however blunt and boisterous those every - day and [home]_542-home movements connected with peignoir and papillotes , there is a slide , a bend , a carriage of the head and arms , a mien of the mouth and eyes , kept nicely in reserve for gala use - always brought out with the grande toilette , and duly put on with the " parure . "_[0-i] Some fine forms there were here and there , models of a peculiar style of beauty ; a style , [I]_0-i think , never seen in [England]_19-england ; a solid , firm - set , sculptural style . These shapes have no angles : a caryatid in marble is almost as flexible ; [a Phidian goddess]_{2156-a phidian goddess} is not more perfect in a certain still and stately sort . [They]_{4558-the women} have such features as [the Dutch painters]_{2157-the dutch painters} give to [[their]_{2157-the dutch painters} madonnas]_{2158-their madonnas} : low - country classic features , regular but round , straight but stolid ; and for [their]_{4558-the women} depth of expressionless calm , of passionless peace , a polar snow - field could alone offer a type . [Women of this order]_{2159-women of this order} need no ornament , and [they]_{2159-women of this order} seldom wear any ; the smooth hair , closely braided , supplies a sufficient contrast to the smoother cheek and brow ; the dress can not be too simple ; the rounded arm and perfect neck require neither bracelet nor chain . With one of these beauties [I]_0-i once had the honour and rapture to be perfectly acquainted : the inert force of the deep , settled love [she]_2160-her bore [herself]_2160-her , was wonderful ; it could only be surpassed by [her]_2160-her proud impotency to care for any other living thing . Of blood , [her]_2160-her cool veins conducted no flow ; placid lymph filled and almost obstructed [her]_2160-her arteries . Such a Juno as [I]_0-i have described sat full in [our]_2161-our view - a sort of mark for all eyes , and quite conscious that so [she]_2160-her was , but proof to the magnetic influence of gaze or glance : cold , rounded , blonde , and beauteous as the white column , capitalled with gilding , which rose at [her]_2160-her side . Observing that [Dr. John]_135-graham 's attention was much drawn towards [her]_2160-her , [I]_0-i entreated [him]_135-graham in a low voice " for the love of heaven to shield well [his]_135-graham heart . [You]_135-graham need not fall in love with [that lady]_{577-that lady} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , " because , [I]_0-i tell [you]_135-graham beforehand , [you]_135-graham might die at [her]_{577-that lady} feet , and [she]_{577-that lady} would not love [you]_135-graham again . "_[0-i] " Very well , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham , " and how do [you]_0-i know that the spectacle of [her]_{577-that lady} grand insensibility might not with [me]_135-graham be the strongest stimulus to homage ? The sting of desperation is , [I]_135-graham think , a wonderful irritant to [my]_135-graham emotions : but "_[135-graham] shrugging [his]_135-graham shoulders " [you]_0-i know nothing about these things ; [I]_0-i 'll address [myself]_0-i to [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} . [Mamma]_150-mamma , [I]_0-i 'm in a dangerous way . "_[0-i] " As if that interested [me]_{130-mrs. bretton} ! "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . " Alas ! the cruelty of [[my]_{532-her son} lot]_{5846-my lot} ! "_{[532-her son]} responded [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} . " [Never man]_{5847-never man} had [a more unsentimental mother]_{5848-a more unsentimental mother} than [mine]_135-graham : [she]_{4268-my mother} never seems to think that such a calamity can befall [her]_{4268-my mother} as [a daughter - in - law]_{5849-a daughter - in - law} . "_{[532-her son]} " If [I]_0-i do n't , it is not for want of having that same calamity held over [my]_0-i head : [you]_150-mamma have threatened [me]_0-i with it for the last ten years . ' [Mamma]_150-mamma , [I]_0-i am going to be married soon ! ' was the cry before [you]_150-mamma were well out of jackets . "_[0-i] " But , [mother]_4258-mother , one of these days it will be realized . All of a sudden , when [you]_150-mamma think [you]_150-mamma are most secure , [I]_0-i shall go forth like [Jacob]_154-jacob or [Esau]_305-esau , or [any other patriarch]_{5851-any other patriarch} , and take [me]_0-i [a wife]_{5852-a wife} : perhaps of these which are of [the daughters of [the land]_{1701-the land}]_{5853-the daughters of the land} . "_[0-i] " At [your]_150-mamma peril , [John Graham]_135-graham ! that is all . "_{[532-her son]} " [This mother of mine]_{5855-this mother of mine} means [me]_0-i to be [an old bachelor]_{5856-an old bachelor} . What [a jealous old lady it]_{5857-a jealous old lady it} is ! But now just look at that splendid creature in the pale blue satin dress , and hair of paler brown , with ' reflets satines ' as those of [her]_{5855-this mother of mine} robe . Would [you]_150-mamma not feel proud , [mamma]_4272-mamma , if [I]_0-i were to bring [that goddess]_{5859-that goddess} [home]_542-home some day , and introduce [her]_{5859-that goddess} to [you]_150-mamma as [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , [junior]_5861-junior ? "_[0-i] " [You]_150-mamma will bring [no goddess]_{5862-no goddess} to [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} : [that little chateau]_{5863-that little chateau} will not contain [two mistresses]_{5864-two mistresses} ; especially if [the second]_{1505-the second} be of the height , bulk , and circumference of that mighty doll in wood and wax , and kid and satin . "_[0-i] " [Mamma]_150-mamma , [she]_{5859-that goddess} would fill [your]_150-mamma blue chair so admirably ! "_{[532-her son]} " Fill [my]_0-i chair ? [I]_0-i defy [the foreign usurper]_{5866-the foreign usurper} ! a rueful chair should it be for [her]_{5859-that goddess} : but hush , [John Graham]_135-graham ! Hold [your]_150-mamma tongue , and use [your]_150-mamma eyes . "_[0-i] During the above skirmish , [the hall]_{573-the hall} , which , [I]_0-i had thought , seemed full at the entrance , continued to admit party after party , until the semicircle before the stage presented one dense mass of heads , sloping from floor to ceiling . [The stage]_{1645-the stage} , too , or rather the wide temporary platform , larger than any stage , desert half an hour since , was now overflowing with life ; round two grand pianos , placed about the centre , a white flock of [young girls]_{2165-young girls} , [the pupils of the Conservatoire]_{2105-the pupils of the conservatoire} , had noiselessly poured . [I]_0-i had noticed [their]_2167-their gathering , while [Graham]_135-graham and [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} were engaged in discussing [the belle]_{1663-the belle} in blue satin , and had watched with interest the process of arraying and marshalling [them]_{1663-the belle} . [Two gentlemen]_{5330-two gentlemen} , in each of whom [I]_0-i recognised [an acquaintance]_{2171-an acquaintance} , officered [this virgin troop]_{2172-this virgin troop} . [One]_607-one , [an artistic - looking man , bearded , and with long hair]_{2174-an artistic - looking man , bearded , and with long hair} , was [a noted pianiste]_{2175-a noted pianiste} , and also [the first music- teacher in [Villette]_3-villette]_{2176-the first music- teacher in villette} ; [he]_607-one attended twice a week at [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's pensionnat]_{2177-madame beck 's pensionnat} , to give lessons to [the few pupils whose parents were rich enough to allow [[their]_{2178-the few pupils whose parents were rich enough to allow their daughters the privilege of his instructions} daughters]_{2179-their daughters} the privilege of [his]_607-one instructions]_{2178-the few pupils whose parents were rich enough to allow their daughters the privilege of his instructions} ; [his]_607-one name was [M. Josef Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} , and [he]_607-one was [half - brother to [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul}]_{2180-half - brother to m. paul} : which [potent personage]_{2181-potent personage} was now visible in the person of [the second gentleman]_{2182-the second gentleman} . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} amused [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i smiled to [myself]_0-i as [I]_0-i watched [him]_607-one , [he]_607-one seemed so thoroughly in [his]_607-one element - standing conspicuous in presence of a wide and grand assemblage , arranging , restraining , over - aweing about [one hundred young ladies]_{2183-one hundred young ladies} . [He]_607-one was , too , so perfectly in earnest - so energetic , so intent , and , above all , so of [the foreigners then resident in [Villette]_3-villette]_{2184-the foreigners then resident in villette} . [These]_2185-these took possession of the crimson benches ; [the ladies]_{4526-the ladies} were seated ; [most of [the men]_{4562-the men}]_{2187-most of the men} remained standing : [their]_{2187-most of the men} sable rank , lining the background , looked like a dark foil to the splendour displayed in front . Nor was this splendour without varying light and shade and gradation : the middle distance was filled with [matrons in velvets and satins , in plumes and gems]_{2189-matrons in velvets and satins , in plumes and gems} ; the benches in the foreground , to [the Queen]_{2190-the queen} 's right hand , seemed devoted exclusively to [young girls]_{2165-young girls} , the flower - perhaps , [I]_0-i should rather say , the bud - of [[Villette]_3-villette aristocracy]_{2192-villette aristocracy} . Here were no jewels , no head - dresses , no velvet pile or silken sheen purity , simplicity , and aerial grace reigned in that virgin band . Young heads simply braided , and fair forms [I]_0-i was going to write sylph forms , but that would have been quite untrue : several of [these " jeunes filles , "_{[2193-these " jeunes filles , " who had not numbered more than sixteen or seventeen years]} who had not numbered more than sixteen or seventeen years]_{2193-these " jeunes filles , " who had not numbered more than sixteen or seventeen years} , boasted contours as robust and solid as those of [a stout Englishwoman of five - and - twenty - fair forms robed in white , or pale rose , or placid blue , suggested thoughts of heaven and angels]_{2194-a stout englishwoman of five - and - twenty - fair forms robed in white , or pale rose , or placid blue , suggested thoughts of heaven and angels} . [I]_0-i knew [a couple , at least , of these " rose et blanche "_{[2195-a couple , at least , of these " rose et blanche " specimens of humanity]} specimens of humanity]_{2195-a couple , at least , of these " rose et blanche " specimens of humanity} . Here was [a pair of [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's late pupils]_{2197-madame beck 's late pupils}]_{2196-a pair of madame beck 's late pupils} - [Mesdemoiselles Mathilde]_{307-mesdemoiselles mathilde} and [Angelique]_{215-angelique} : [pupils who , during [their]_{2198-pupils who , during their last year at school} last year at [school]_675-school]_{2198-pupils who , during their last year at school} , ought to have been in the first class , but whose brains never got [them]_{2198-pupils who , during their last year at school} beyond the second division . In English , [they]_{2198-pupils who , during their last year at school} had been under [my]_0-i own charge , and hard work it was to get [them]_{2198-pupils who , during their last year at school} to translate rationally a page of [The Vicar of [Wakefield]_76-wakefield]_{2200-the vicar of wakefield} . Also during three months [I]_0-i had one of them for [my]_0-i vis - a - vis at table , and the quantity of household bread , butter , and stewed fruit , [she]_190-madame would habitually consume at ' second dejeuner " was a real world 's wonder - to be exceeded only by the fact of [her]_190-madame actually pocketing slices [she]_190-madame could not eat . Here be truths - wholesome truths , too . [I]_190-madame knew [another of [these seraphs]_{5868-these seraphs}]_{5867-another of these seraphs} - the prettiest , or , at any rate , [the least demure and hypocritical looking of the lot]_{5869-the least demure and hypocritical looking of the lot} : [she]_190-madame was seated by [the daughter of [an English peer]_{5871-an english peer}]_{5870-the daughter of an english peer} , also [an honest , though haughty- looking girl]_{5872-an honest , though haughty- looking girl} : both had entered in [the suite of [the British embassy]_{5874-the british embassy}]_{5873-the suite of the british embassy} . [She]_190-madame i.e. [my]_190-madame acquaintance had a slight , pliant figure , not at all like the forms of [the foreign damsels]_{5875-the foreign damsels} : [her]_190-madame hair , too , was not close - braided , like a shell or a skull - cap of satin ; it looked like hair , and waved from [her]_190-madame head , long , curled , and flowing . [She]_190-madame chatted away volubly , and seemed full of a light - headed sort of satisfaction with [herself]_190-madame and [her]_190-madame position . [I]_190-madame did not look at [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham ; but [I]_190-madame knew that [he]_135-graham , too , saw [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra : [he]_135-graham had become so quiet , [he]_135-graham answered so briefly [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's remarks , [he]_135-graham so often suppressed a sigh . Why should [he]_135-graham sigh ? [He]_135-graham had confessed a taste for the pursuit of love under difficulties ; here was full gratification for that taste . [[His]_135-graham lady]_{5877-his lady} - love beamed upon [him]_135-graham from a sphere above [his]_135-graham own : [he]_135-graham could not come near [her]_190-madame ; [he]_135-graham was not certain that [he]_135-graham could win from [her]_190-madame a look . [I]_190-madame watched to see if [she]_190-madame would so far favour [him]_135-graham . [Our]_5878-our seat was not far from the crimson benches ; [we]_5878-our must inevitably be seen thence , by eyes so quick and roving as [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's , and very soon those optics of [hers]_190-madame were upon [us]_5878-our : at least , upon [Dr.]_135-graham and [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . [I]_190-madame kept rather in the shade and out of sight , not wishing to be immediately recognised : [she]_190-madame looked quite steadily at [Dr. John]_135-graham , and then [she]_190-madame raised a glass to examine [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} ; a minute or two afterwards [she]_190-madame laughingly whispered [[her]_190-madame neighbour]_{5880-her neighbour} ; upon the performance commencing , [her]_190-madame rambling attention was attracted to the platform . On the concert [I]_190-madame need not dwell ; [the reader]_{759-the reader} would not care to have [my]_190-madame impressions thereanent : and , indeed , it would not be worth while to record them , as they were the impressions of [an ignorance crasse]_{5882-an ignorance crasse} . [The young ladies of the Conservatoire]_{5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire} , being very much frightened , made rather a tremulous exhibition on the two grand pianos . [M. Josef Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} stood by [them]_{5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire} while [they]_{5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire} played ; but [he]_{306-m. emanuel} had not the tact or influence of [[his]_{306-m. emanuel} kinsman]_{5884-his kinsman} , who , under similar circumstances , would certainly have compelled [pupils of [his]_{306-m. emanuel}]_{5885-pupils of his} to demean [themselves]_{5885-pupils of his} with heroism and self - possession . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} would have placed [the hysteric debutantes]_{5886-the hysteric debutantes} between two fires - terror of [the audience]_{1788-the audience} , and terror of [himself]_{306-m. emanuel} - and would have inspired [them]_{5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire} with the courage of desperation , by making the latter terror incomparably the greater : [M. Josef]_{306-m. emanuel} could not do this . Following [the white muslin pianistes]_{5888-the white muslin pianistes} , came [a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin]_{5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin} . [She]_{5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin} sang . [Her]_{5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin} singing just affected [me]_190-madame like the tricks of [a conjuror]_{5890-a conjuror} : [I]_190-madame wondered how [she]_{5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin} did it - how [she]_{5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin} made [her]_{5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin} voice run up and down , and cut such marvellous capers ; but a simple Scotch melody , played by [a rude street minstrel]_{5891-a rude street minstrel} , has often moved [me]_190-madame more deeply . Afterwards stepped forth [a gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} , who , bending [his]_{629-a gentleman} body a good deal in the direction of [the King]_{1283-the king} and [Queen]_2107-queen , and frequently approaching [his]_{629-a gentleman} white - gloved hand to the region of [his]_{629-a gentleman} heart , vented a bitter outcry against a certain "_[190-madame] fausse [Isabelle]_221-isabelle . " [I]_221-isabelle thought [he]_{629-a gentleman} seemed especially to solicit [the Queen]_{2190-the queen} 's sympathy ; but , unless [I]_221-isabelle am egregiously mistaken , [[her]_{2190-the queen} Majesty]_{5896-her majesty} lent [her]_{2190-the queen} attention rather with the calm of courtesy than the earnestness of interest . [This gentleman]_{5897-this gentleman} 's state of mind was very harrowing , and [I]_221-isabelle was glad when [he]_{5897-this gentleman} wound up [his]_{5897-this gentleman} musical exposition of the same . Some rousing choruses struck [me]_221-isabelle as the best part of the evening 's entertainment . There were [present deputies from [all the best provincial choral societies]_{5899-all the best provincial choral societies}]_{5898-present deputies from all the best provincial choral societies} ; genuine , barrel - shaped , native Labassecouriens . [These worthies]_{5900-these worthies} gave voice without mincing the matter [their]_{5900-these worthies} hearty exertions had at least this good result - the ear drank thence a satisfying sense of power . Through the whole performance - timid instrumental duets , conceited vocal solos , sonorous , brass - lunged choruses - [my]_221-isabelle attention gave but one eye and one ear to the stage , the other being permanently retained in the service of [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham : [I]_221-isabelle could not forget [him]_{5897-this gentleman} , nor cease to question how [he]_{5897-this gentleman} was feeling , what [he]_{5897-this gentleman} was thinking , whether [he]_{5897-this gentleman} was amused or the contrary . At last [he]_{5897-this gentleman} spoke . "_{[221-isabelle]} And how do [you]_2201-you like it all , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? [You]_2201-you are very quiet , " [he]_{5897-this gentleman} said , in [his]_{5897-this gentleman} own cheerful tone . "_[2201-you] [I]_0-i am quiet , " [I]_0-i said , "_[0-i] because [I]_0-i am so very , very much interested : not merely with the music , but with everything about [me]_0-i . " [He]_{5897-this gentleman} then proceeded to make some further remarks , with so much equanimity and composure that [I]_179-ginevra began to think [he]_{5897-this gentleman} had really not seen what [I]_179-ginevra had seen , and [I]_179-ginevra whispered - "_{[179-ginevra]} [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra is here : have [you]_2202-you noticed [her]_179-ginevra ? " "_[2202-you] Oh , yes ! and [I]_0-i observed that [you]_2202-you noticed [her]_179-ginevra too ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} Is [she]_179-ginevra come with [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , do [you]_2202-you think ? " "_[2202-you] [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} is there with [a very grand party]_{2203-a very grand party} . Yes ; [Ginevra]_179-ginevra was in [[her]_179-ginevra train]_{2204-her train} ; and [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} was in [Lady]_2205-lady - - 's train , who was in [[the Queen]_{2190-the queen} 's train]_{2207-the queen 's train} . If this were not one of the compact little minor [European courts , whose very formalities are little more imposing than familiarities]_{2208-european courts , whose very formalities are little more imposing than familiarities} , and whose gala grandeur is but homeliness in [Sunday array]_{2209-sunday array} , it would sound all very fine . " "_{[179-ginevra]} [Ginevra]_179-ginevra saw [you]_2202-you , [I]_0-i think ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} So do [I]_0-i think so . [I]_0-i have had [my]_0-i eye on [her]_179-ginevra several times since [you]_2202-you withdrew [yours]_2202-you ; and [I]_0-i have had the honour of witnessing a little spectacle which [you]_2202-you were spared . " [I]_179-ginevra did not ask what ; [I]_179-ginevra waited voluntary information , which was presently given . "_{[179-ginevra]} [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , " [he]_0-i said , "_{[179-ginevra]} has [a companion with [her]_179-ginevra]_{2210-a companion with her} - [a lady of rank]_{2211-a lady of rank} . [I]_0-i happen to know [Lady Sara]_{308-lady sara} by sight ; [[her]_{308-lady sara} noble mother]_{2212-her noble mother} has called [me]_0-i in professionally . [She]_{308-lady sara} is [a proud girl]_{2213-a proud girl} , but not in the least insolent , and [I]_0-i doubt whether [Ginevra]_179-ginevra will have gained ground in [her]_179-ginevra estimation by making a butt of [[her]_179-ginevra neighbours]_{2214-her neighbours} . " "_{[2214-her neighbours]} What neighbours ? " "_[0-i] Merely [myself]_0-i and [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} . As to [me]_0-i it is all very natural : nothing , [I]_0-i suppose , can be fairer game than [the young bourgeois doctor]_{2216-the young bourgeois doctor} ; but [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} ! [I]_0-i never saw [her]_{4268-my mother} ridiculed before . Do [you]_2218-you know , the curling lip , and sarcastically levelled glass thus directed , gave [me]_0-i a most curious sensation ? " "_[135-graham] Think nothing of it , [Dr. John]_135-graham : it is not worth while . If [Ginevra]_179-ginevra were in a giddy mood , as [she]_179-ginevra is eminently to - night , [she]_179-ginevra would make no scruple of laughing at [that mild , pensive Queen]_{2219-that mild , pensive queen} , or [that melancholy King]_{2220-that melancholy king} . [She]_179-ginevra is not actuated by malevolence , but sheer , heedless folly . To [a feather - brained school - girl]_{2221-a feather - brained school - girl} nothing is sacred . " "_{[2221-a feather - brained school - girl]} But [you]_2218-you forget : [I]_0-i have not been accustomed to look on [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra in the light of [a feather - brained school - girl]_{2221-a feather - brained school - girl} . Was [she]_179-ginevra not [my]_0-i divinity - [the angel of [my]_0-i career]_{2223-the angel of my career} ? " "_[309-hem] [Hem]_309-hem ! There was [your]_309-hem mistake . " "_[309-hem] To speak the honest truth , without any false rant or assumed romance , there actually was a moment , six months ago , when [I]_0-i thought [her]_179-ginevra divine . Do [you]_2218-you remember [our]_2224-our conversation about the presents ? [I]_0-i was not quite open with [you]_2218-you in discussing that subject : the warmth with which [you]_2218-you took it up amused [me]_0-i . By way of having the full benefit of [your]_2218-you lights , [I]_0-i allowed [you]_2218-you to think [me]_0-i more in the dark than [I]_0-i really was . It was that test of the presents which first proved [Ginevra]_179-ginevra mortal . Still [her]_179-ginevra beauty retained its fascination : three days - three hours ago , [I]_0-i was very much [[her]_179-ginevra slave]_{2225-her slave} . As [she]_179-ginevra passed [me]_0-i to - night , triumphant in beauty , [my]_0-i emotions did [her]_179-ginevra homage ; but for one luckless sneer , [I]_0-i should yet be [the humblest of [[her]_179-ginevra servants]_{2227-her servants}]_{2226-the humblest of her servants} . [She]_179-ginevra might have scoffed at [me]_0-i , and , while wounding , [she]_179-ginevra would not soon have alienated [me]_0-i : through [myself]_0-i , [she]_179-ginevra could not in ten years have done what , in a moment , [she]_179-ginevra has done through [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} . " [He]_0-i held [his]_0-i peace awhile . Never before had [I]_142-lucy seen so much fire , and so little sunshine in [Dr. John]_135-graham 's blue eye as just now . "_[142-lucy] [Lucy]_142-lucy , " [he]_0-i recommenced , "_[142-lucy] look well at [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} , and say , without fear or favour , in what light [she]_179-ginevra now appears to [you]_142-lucy . " "_{[179-ginevra]} As [she]_179-ginevra always does - an English , middle - class gentlewoman ; well , though gravely dressed , habitually independent of pretence , constitutionally composed and cheerful . " "_{[179-ginevra]} So [she]_179-ginevra seems to [me]_0-i - bless [her]_179-ginevra ! [The merry]_{2230-the merry} may laugh with [mamma]_4272-mamma , but [the weak]_{2232-the weak} only will laugh at [her]_179-ginevra . [She]_179-ginevra shall not be ridiculed , with [my]_0-i consent , at least ; nor without [my]_0-i - [my]_0-i scorn - [my]_0-i antipathy - [my]_0-i - " [He]_0-i stopped : and it was time - for [he]_0-i was getting excited - more it seemed than the occasion warranted . [I]_0-i did not then know that [he]_0-i had witnessed double cause for dissatisfaction with [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra . The glow of [his]_0-i complexion , the expansion of [his]_0-i nostril , the bold curve which disdain gave [his]_0-i well - cut under lip , showed [him]_0-i in a new and striking phase . Yet the rare passion of [the constitutionally suave and serene]_{5901-the constitutionally suave and serene} , is not a pleasant spectacle ; nor did [I]_0-i like the sort of vindictive thrill which passed through [his]_0-i strong young frame . "_[0-i] Do [I]_0-i frighten [you]_2233-you , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? " [he]_0-i asked . "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i can not tell why [you]_2233-you are so very angry . " "_[2233-you] For this reason , " [he]_0-i muttered in [my]_2233-you ear . "_[2233-you] [Ginevra]_179-ginevra is neither [a pure angel]_{2234-a pure angel} , nor [a pure - minded woman]_{2235-a pure - minded woman} . " "_{[2235-a pure - minded woman]} Nonsense ! [you]_0-i exaggerate : [she]_179-ginevra has no great harm in [her]_179-ginevra . " "_[0-i] Too much for [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i can see where [you]_2233-you are blind . Now dismiss the subject . Let [me]_0-i amuse [myself]_0-i by teasing [mamma]_4272-mamma : [I]_0-i will assert that [she]_179-ginevra is flagging . [Mamma]_150-mamma , pray rouse [yourself]_150-mamma . " "_[135-graham] [John]_135-graham , [I]_0-i will certainly rouse [you]_2233-you if [you]_2233-you are not better conducted . Will [you]_2233-you and [Lucy]_142-lucy be silent , that [I]_0-i may hear the singing ? " [They]_5902-they were then thundering in a chorus , under cover of which all the previous dialogue had taken place . "_[150-mamma] [You]_150-mamma hear the singing , [mamma]_4272-mamma ! Now , [I]_0-i will wager [my]_0-i studs , which are genuine , against [your]_150-mamma paste brooch - " "_[0-i] [My]_0-i paste brooch , [Graham]_135-graham ? [Profane boy]_{2238-profane boy} ! [you]_2233-you know that it is a stone of value . " "_[0-i] Oh ! that is one of [your]_2233-you superstitions : [you]_2233-you were cheated in the business . " "_[2233-you] [I]_0-i am cheated in fewer things than [you]_2233-you imagine . How do [you]_2233-you happen to be acquainted with [young ladies of the court]_{2239-young ladies of the court} , [John]_135-graham ? [I]_0-i have observed two of [them]_{2239-young ladies of the court} pay [you]_2233-you no small attention during the last half - hour . " "_{[2239-young ladies of the court]} [I]_0-i wish [you]_2233-you would not observe [them]_{2239-young ladies of the court} . " "_[2233-you] Why not ? Because one of [them]_{2239-young ladies of the court} satirically levels [her]_2240-her eyeglass at [me]_0-i ? [She]_2240-her is [a pretty , silly girl]_{2241-a pretty , silly girl} : but are [you]_2233-you apprehensive that [her]_2240-her titter will discomfit [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} ? " "_[2233-you] [The sensible , admirable old lady]_{2243-the sensible , admirable old lady} ! [Mother]_{228-mother wisdom} , [you]_2233-you are better to [me]_0-i than [ten wives]_{2244-ten wives} yet . " "_{[228-mother wisdom]} Do n't be demonstrative , [John]_135-graham , or [I]_0-i shall faint , and [you]_2233-you will have to carry [me]_0-i out ; and if that burden were laid upon [you]_2233-you , [you]_2233-you would reverse [your]_2233-you last speech , and exclaim , ' [Mother]_4258-mother , [ten wives]_{2244-ten wives} could hardly be worse to [me]_0-i than [you]_2233-you are ! ' " The concert over , the Lottery "_[2233-you] au benefice des pauvres " came next : the interval between was one of general relaxation , and the pleasantest imaginable stir and commotion . [The white flock]_{5903-the white flock} was cleared from [the platform]_{5904-the platform} ; a busy throng of [gentlemen]_{4709-gentlemen} crowded it instead , making arrangements for the drawing ; and amongst these - the busiest of all - re - appeared that certain well - known form , [not tall but active , alive with the energy and movement of three tall men]_{5906-not tall but active , alive with the energy and movement of three tall men} . How [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} did work ! How [he]_{196-m. paul} issued directions , and , at the same time , set [his]_{196-m. paul} own shoulder to the wheel ! [Half - a - dozen assistants]_{5907-half - a - dozen assistants} were at [his]_{196-m. paul} beck to remove the pianos , c. ; no matter , [he]_{196-m. paul} must add to [their]_{5907-half - a - dozen assistants} strength [his]_{196-m. paul} own . The redundancy of [his]_{196-m. paul} alertness was half - vexing , half - ludicrous : in [my]_2233-you mind [I]_2233-you both disapproved and derided most of this fuss . Yet , in the midst of prejudice and annoyance , [I]_2233-you could not , while watching , avoid perceiving a certain not disagreeable naivete in all [he]_{196-m. paul} did and said ; nor could [I]_2233-you be blind to certain vigorous characteristics of [his]_{196-m. paul} physiognomy , rendered conspicuous now by the contrast with [a throng of tamer faces]_{5908-a throng of tamer faces} : the deep , intent keenness of [his]_{196-m. paul} eye , the power of [his]_{196-m. paul} forehead , pale , broad , and full - the mobility of [his]_{196-m. paul} most flexible mouth . [He]_{196-m. paul} lacked the calm of force , but its movement and its fire [he]_{196-m. paul} signally possessed . Meantime [the whole hall]_{5909-the whole hall} was in a stir ; [most people]_{5910-most people} rose and remained standing , for a change ; [some]_5400-some walked about , all talked and laughed . [The crimson compartment]_{5912-the crimson compartment} presented a peculiarly animated scene . The long cloud of [gentlemen , breaking into fragments]_{5913-gentlemen , breaking into fragments} , mixed with the rainbow line of [ladies]_622-ladies ; [two or three officer - like men]_{5915-two or three officer - like men} approached [the King]_{1283-the king} and conversed with [him]_{1283-the king} . [The Queen]_{2190-the queen} , leaving [her]_{2190-the queen} chair , glided along the rank of [young ladies]_{5918-young ladies} , who all stood up as [she]_{2190-the queen} passed ; and to each in turn [I]_2233-you saw [her]_{2190-the queen} vouchsafe some token of kindness - a gracious word , look or smile . To [the two pretty English girls]_{5919-the two pretty english girls} , [Lady Sara]_{308-lady sara} and [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , [she]_{2190-the queen} addressed several sentences ; as [she]_{2190-the queen} left [them]_{5919-the two pretty english girls} , both , and especially [the latter]_{541-the latter} , seemed to glow all over with gratification . [They]_{5919-the two pretty english girls} were afterwards accosted by [several ladies]_{5921-several ladies} , and [a little circle of [gentlemen]_{4709-gentlemen}]_{5922-a little circle of gentlemen} gathered round [them]_{5919-the two pretty english girls} ; amongst these - the nearest to [Ginevra]_179-ginevra - stood [the Count de Hamal]_{310-the count de hamal} . "_[2233-you] [This room]_{740-this room} is stiflingly hot , " said [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , rising with sudden impatience . "_[2233-you] [Lucy]_142-lucy - [mother]_4258-mother - will [you]_142-lucy come a moment to the fresh air ? " "_{[4258-mother]} Go with [him]_2249-him , [Lucy]_142-lucy , " said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i would rather keep [my]_0-i seat . " [Willingly]_{311-willingly} would [I]_142-lucy have kept [mine]_142-lucy also , but [Graham]_135-graham 's desire must take precedence of [my]_142-lucy own ; [I]_142-lucy accompanied [him]_135-graham . [We]_5924-we found the night - air keen ; or at least [I]_142-lucy did : [he]_135-graham did not seem to feel it ; but it was very still , and the star - sown sky spread cloudless . [I]_142-lucy was wrapped in a fur shawl . [We]_5924-we took some turns on [the pavement]_{5925-the pavement} ; in passing under a lamp , [Graham]_135-graham encountered [my]_142-lucy eye . "_[142-lucy] [You]_142-lucy look pensive , [Lucy]_142-lucy : is it on [my]_0-i account ? " "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i was only fearing that [you]_0-i were grieved . " "_[142-lucy] Not at all : so be of good cheer - as [I]_0-i am . Whenever [I]_0-i die , [Lucy]_142-lucy , [my]_0-i persuasion is that it will not be of heart - complaint . [I]_0-i may be stung , [I]_0-i may seem to droop for a time , but no pain or malady of sentiment has yet gone through [my]_0-i whole system . [You]_0-i have always seen [me]_0-i cheerful at [home]_542-home ? " "_[0-i] Generally . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am glad [she]_2251-she laughed at [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} . [I]_0-i would not give [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} for a dozen beauties . That sneer did [me]_0-i all the good in [the world]_{811-the world} . Thank [you]_0-i , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ! " And [he]_0-i lifted [his]_0-i hat from [his]_0-i waved locks , and made a mock reverence . "_{[179-ginevra]} Yes , " [he]_0-i said , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thank [her]_2251-she . [She]_2251-she has made [me]_0-i feel that nine parts in ten of [my]_0-i heart have always been sound as a bell , and the tenth bled from a mere puncture : a lancet - prick that will heal in a trice . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i are angry just now , heated and indignant ; [you]_0-i will think and feel differently to - morrow . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i heated and indignant ! [You]_0-i do n't know [me]_0-i . On the contrary , the heat is gone : [I]_0-i am as cool as the night - which , by the way , may be too cool for [you]_0-i . [We]_2255-we will go back . " "_[135-graham] [Dr. John]_135-graham , this is a sudden change . " "_[135-graham] Not it : or if it be , there are good reasons for it - two good reasons : [I]_0-i have told [you]_0-i one . But now let [us]_2255-we re - enter . " [We]_2255-we did not easily regain [our]_2255-we seats ; the lottery was begun , and all was excited confusion ; [crowds]_5926-crowds blocked the sort of corridor along which [we]_2255-we had to pass : it was necessary to pause for a time . [Happening]_{312-happening} to glance round - indeed [I]_142-lucy half fancied [I]_142-lucy heard [my]_142-lucy name pronounced - [I]_142-lucy saw quite near , the ubiquitous , [the inevitable M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . [He]_135-graham was looking at [me]_142-lucy gravely and intently : at [me]_142-lucy , or rather at [my]_142-lucy pink dress - sardonic comment on which gleamed in [his]_135-graham eye . Now it was [his]_135-graham habit to indulge in strictures on the dress , both of [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers} and [pupils]_4924-pupils , at [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's - a habit which [the former]_{4883-the former} , at least , held to be an offensive impertinence : as yet [I]_142-lucy had not suffered from it - [my]_142-lucy sombre daily attire not being calculated to attract notice . [I]_142-lucy was in no mood to permit any new encroachment to - night : rather than accept [his]_135-graham banter , [I]_142-lucy would ignore [his]_135-graham presence , and accordingly steadily turned [my]_142-lucy face to the sleeve of [Dr. John]_135-graham 's coat ; finding in that same black sleeve a prospect more redolent of pleasure and comfort , more genial , more friendly , [I]_142-lucy thought , than was offered by [the dark little Professor]_{5930-the dark little professor} 's unlovely visage . [Dr. John]_135-graham seemed unconsciously to sanction the preference by looking down and saying in [his]_0-i kind voice , "_[142-lucy] Ay , keep close to [my]_0-i side , [Lucy]_142-lucy : [these crowding burghers]_{2256-these crowding burghers} are [no respecters of [persons]_1284-persons]_{2257-no respecters of persons} . " [I]_142-lucy could not , however , be true to [myself]_142-lucy . Yielding to some influence , mesmeric or otherwise - an influence unwelcome , displeasing , but effective - [I]_142-lucy again glanced round to see if [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was gone . No , there [he]_135-graham stood on the same spot , looking still , but with a changed eye ; [he]_135-graham had penetrated [my]_142-lucy thought , and read [my]_142-lucy wish to shun [him]_135-graham . The mocking but not ill - humoured gaze was turned to a swarthy frown , and when [I]_142-lucy bowed , with a view to conciliation , [I]_142-lucy got only the stiffest and sternest of nods in return . "_[142-lucy] Whom have [you]_142-lucy made angry , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? " whispered [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , smiling . "_[142-lucy] Who is [that savage - looking friend of [yours]_142-lucy]_{2259-that savage - looking friend of yours} ? " "_{[2260-one of the professors at madame beck 's]} [One of [the professors at [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's]_{2261-the professors at madame beck 's}]_{2260-one of the professors at madame beck 's} : [a very cross little man]_{2262-a very cross little man} . " "_{[2262-a very cross little man]} [He]_{2262-a very cross little man} looks mighty cross just now : what have [you]_142-lucy done to [him]_{2262-a very cross little man} ? What is it all about ? Ah , [Lucy]_142-lucy , [Lucy]_142-lucy ! tell [me]_0-i the meaning of this . " "_[142-lucy] No mystery , [I]_0-i assure [you]_142-lucy . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} is very exigeant , and because [I]_0-i looked at [your]_142-lucy coat - sleeve , instead of curtseying and dipping to [him]_{2262-a very cross little man} , [he]_{2262-a very cross little man} thinks [I]_0-i have failed in respect . " "_{[2263-the little]} [The little]_{2263-the little} - " began [Dr. John]_135-graham : [I]_{2263-the little} know not what more [he]_{2263-the little} would have added , for at that moment [I]_{2263-the little} was nearly thrown down amongst the feet of [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} had rudely pushed past , and was elbowing [his]_{2263-the little} way with such utter disregard to the convenience and security of all around , that a very uncomfortable pressure was the consequence . "_{[2263-the little]} [I]_0-i think [he]_{2263-the little} is what [he]_{2263-the little} [himself]_{2263-the little} would call ' mechant , ' " said [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham . [I]_{2263-the little} thought so , too . Slowly and with difficulty [we]_5932-we made [our]_5932-we way along [the passage]_{4310-the passage} , and at last regained [our]_5932-we seats . The drawing of the lottery lasted nearly an hour ; it was an animating and amusing scene ; and as [we]_5932-we each held tickets , [we]_5932-we shared in the alternations of hope and fear raised by each turn of the wheel . [Two little girls , of five and six years old]_{5934-two little girls , of five and six years old} , drew the numbers : and the prizes were duly proclaimed from the platform . These prizes were numerous , though of small value . It so fell out that [Dr. John]_135-graham and [I]_{2263-the little} each gained one : [mine]_{2263-the little} was a cigar - case , [his]_{2263-the little} [a lady]_{1639-a lady} 's head - dress - a most airy sort of blue and silver turban , with a streamer of plumage on one side , like a snowy cloud . [He]_{2263-the little} was excessively anxious to make an exchange ; but [I]_{2263-the little} could not be brought to hear reason , and to this day [I]_{2263-the little} keep [my]_{2263-the little} cigar - case : it serves , when [I]_{2263-the little} look at it , to remind [me]_{2263-the little} of old times , and one happy evening . [Dr. John]_135-graham , for [his]_135-graham part , held [his]_135-graham turban at arm 's length between [his]_135-graham finger and thumb , and looked at it with a mixture of reverence and embarrassment highly provocative of laughter . The contemplation over , [he]_135-graham was about coolly to deposit the delicate fabric on the ground between [his]_135-graham feet ; [he]_135-graham seemed to have no shadow of an idea of the treatment or stowage it ought to receive : if [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} had not come to the rescue , [I]_{2263-the little} think [he]_135-graham would finally have crushed it under [his]_135-graham arm like an opera - hat ; [she]_{534-his mother} restored it to the band - box whence it had issued . [Graham]_135-graham was quite cheerful all the evening , and [his]_135-graham cheerfulness seemed natural and unforced . [His]_135-graham demeanour , [his]_135-graham look , is not easily described ; there was something in it peculiar , and , in its way , original . [I]_{2263-the little} read in it no common mastery of the passions , and a fund of deep and healthy strength which , without any exhausting effort , bore down [Disappointment]_{242-disappointment} and extracted [her]_{534-his mother} fang . [His]_135-graham manner , now , reminded [me]_{2263-the little} of qualities [I]_{2263-the little} had noticed in [him]_135-graham when professionally engaged amongst [the poor]_{5937-the poor} , [the guilty]_{5938-the guilty} , and the suffering , in [the Basse- Ville]_{5939-the basse- ville} : [he]_135-graham looked at once determined , enduring , and sweet - tempered . Who could help liking [him]_135-graham ? [He]_135-graham betrayed no weakness which harassed all [your]_5940-your feelings with considerations as to how its faltering must be propped ; from [him]_135-graham broke no irritability which startled calm and quenched mirth ; [his]_135-graham lips let fall no caustic that burned to the bone ; [his]_135-graham eye shot no morose shafts that went cold , and rusty , and venomed through [your]_5940-your heart : beside [him]_135-graham was rest and refuge - around [him]_135-graham , fostering sunshine . And yet [he]_135-graham had neither forgiven nor forgotten [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra . Once angered , [I]_{2263-the little} doubt if [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham were to be soon propitiated - once alienated , whether [he]_135-graham were ever to be reclaimed . [He]_135-graham looked at [her]_179-ginevra more than once ; not stealthily or humbly , but with a movement of hardy , open observation . [De Hamal]_{271-de hamal} was now a fixture beside [her]_179-ginevra ; [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} sat near , and [they]_5941-they and [she]_179-ginevra were wholly absorbed in the discourse , mirth , and excitement , with which the crimson seats were as much astir as any plebeian part of [the hall]_{573-the hall} . In the course of some apparently animated discussion , [Ginevra]_{271-de hamal} once or twice lifted [her]_{271-de hamal} hand and arm ; a handsome bracelet gleamed upon the latter . [I]_{2263-the little} saw that its gleam flickered in [Dr. John]_135-graham 's eye - quickening therein a derisive , ireful sparkle ; [he]_0-i laughed : - - "_{[2263-the little]} [I]_0-i think , " [he]_0-i said , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will lay [my]_0-i turban on [my]_0-i wonted altar of offerings ; there , at any rate , it would be certain to find favour : [no grisette]_{2264-no grisette} has a more facile faculty of acceptance . Strange ! for after all , [I]_0-i know [she]_2265-she is [a girl of family]_{2266-a girl of family} . " "_[0-i] But [you]_0-i do n't know [her]_2265-she education , [Dr. John]_135-graham , " said [I.]_0-i "_[135-graham] Tossed about all [her]_2265-she life from [one foreign school]_{2267-one foreign school} to another , [she]_2265-she may justly proffer the plea of ignorance in extenuation of most of [her]_2265-she faults . And then , from what [she]_2265-she says , [I]_0-i believe [[her]_2265-she father]_{643-her father} and [mother]_4258-mother were brought up much as [she]_2265-she has been brought up . " "_{[4258-mother]} [I]_0-i always understood [she]_2265-she had no fortune ; and once [I]_0-i had pleasure in the thought , " said [he]_0-i . "_[2265-she] [She]_2265-she tells [me]_0-i , " [I]_2265-she answered , "_[2265-she] that [they]_2270-they are poor at [home]_542-home ; [she]_2265-she always speaks quite candidly on such points : [you]_2272-you never find [her]_2265-she lying , as [these foreigners]_{2273-these foreigners} will often lie . [[Her]_2265-she parents]_{4933-her parents} have [a large family]_{2275-a large family} : [they]_{4933-her parents} occupy such a station and possess such connections as , in [their]_{4933-her parents} opinion , demand display ; stringent necessity of circumstances and inherent thoughtlessness of disposition combined , have engendered reckless unscrupulousness as to how [they]_{4933-her parents} obtain the means of sustaining a good appearance . This is the state of things , and the only state of things , [she]_2265-she has seen from childhood upwards . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i believe it - and [I]_0-i thought to mould [her]_2265-she to something better : but , [Lucy]_142-lucy , to speak the plain truth , [I]_0-i have felt a new thing to - night , in looking at [her]_2265-she and [de Hamal]_{271-de hamal} . [I]_0-i felt it before noticing the impertinence directed at [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} . [I]_0-i saw a look interchanged between [them]_{4933-her parents} immediately after [their]_{4933-her parents} entrance , which threw a most unwelcome light on [my]_0-i mind . " "_[0-i] How do [you]_0-i mean ? [You]_0-i have been long aware of the flirtation [they]_{4933-her parents} keep up ? " "_[0-i] Ay , flirtation ! That might be [an innocent girlish wile]_{2277-an innocent girlish wile} to lure on [the true lover]_{2278-the true lover} ; but what [I]_0-i refer to was not flirtation : it was a look marking mutual and secret understanding - it was neither girlish nor innocent . [No woman]_{2279-no woman} , were [she]_2265-she as beautiful as [Aphrodite]_{313-aphrodite} , who could give or receive such a glance , shall ever be sought in marriage by [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i would rather [we]_2280-we d a paysanne in a short petticoat and high cap - and be sure that [she]_2265-she was honest . " [I]_2265-she could not help smiling . [I]_2265-she felt sure [he]_0-i now exaggerated the case : [Ginevra]_{271-de hamal} , [I]_2265-she was certain , was honest enough , with all [her]_{271-de hamal} giddiness . [I]_2265-she told [him]_0-i so . [He]_0-i shook [his]_0-i head , and said [he]_0-i would not be [the man]_{4959-the man} to trust [her]_2265-she with [his]_0-i honour . "_[2265-she] The only thing , " said [I]_2265-she , "_[2265-she] with which [you]_2281-you may safely trust [her]_2265-she . [She]_2265-she would unscrupulously damage [a husband]_{1335-a husband} 's purse and property , recklessly try [his]_{1335-a husband} patience and temper : [I]_0-i do n't think [she]_2265-she would breathe , or let another breathe , on [his]_{1335-a husband} honour . " "_[2265-she] [You]_0-i are becoming [[her]_2265-she advocate]_{2283-her advocate} , " said [he]_{1335-a husband} . "_[0-i] Do [you]_0-i wish [me]_0-i to resume [my]_0-i old chains ? " "_[0-i] No : [I]_0-i am glad to see [you]_2281-you free , and trust that free [you]_2281-you will long remain . Yet be , at the same time , just . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am so : just as [Rhadamanthus]_{314-rhadamanthus} , [Lucy]_142-lucy . When once [I]_0-i am thoroughly estranged , [I]_0-i can not help being severe . But look ! [the King]_{1283-the king} and [Queen]_2107-queen are rising . [I]_0-i like [that Queen]_{2286-that queen} : [she]_{2286-that queen} has a sweet countenance . [Mamma]_150-mamma , too , is excessively tired ; [we]_2287-we shall never get [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} [home]_542-home if [we]_2287-we stay longer . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i tired , [John]_135-graham ? " cried [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , looking at least as animated and as wide - awake as [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} . "_[135-graham] [I]_0-i would undertake to sit [you]_135-graham out yet : leave [us]_2287-we both here till morning , and [we]_2287-we should see which would look the most jaded by sunrise . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i should not like to try the experiment ; for , in truth , [mamma]_4272-mamma , [you]_4272-mamma are the most unfading of evergreens and the freshest of [matrons]_2291-matrons . It must then be on the plea of [[your]_0-i son]_{700-your son} 's delicate nerves and fragile constitution that [I]_0-i found a petition for [our]_2287-we speedy adjournment . " "_{[2293-indolent young man]} [Indolent young man]_{2293-indolent young man} ! [You]_4272-mamma wish [you]_4272-mamma were in bed , no doubt ; and [I]_0-i suppose [you]_4272-mamma must be humoured . There is [Lucy]_142-lucy , too , looking quite done up . For shame , [Lucy]_142-lucy ! At [your]_142-lucy age , a week of evenings - out would not have made [me]_0-i a shade paler . Come away , both of [you]_142-lucy ; and [you]_142-lucy may laugh at [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} as much as [you]_142-lucy please , but , for [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i shall take charge of the bandbox and turban . " Which [she]_142-lucy did accordingly . [I]_0-i offered to relieve [her]_142-lucy , but was shaken off with kindly contempt : [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} opined that [I]_0-i had enough to do to take care of [myself]_0-i . Not standing on ceremony now , in the midst of the gay "_[0-i] confusion worse confounded " succeeding to [the King and Queen]_{5946-the king and queen} 's departure , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} preceded [us]_5947-we , and promptly made [us]_5947-we a lane through [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} . [Graham]_135-graham followed , apostrophizing [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} as the most flourishing grisette it had ever been [his]_135-graham good fortune to see charged with [carriage of a bandbox]_{5950-carriage of a bandbox} ; [he]_135-graham also desired [me]_142-lucy to mark [her]_{534-his mother} affection for the sky - blue turban , and announced [his]_135-graham conviction that [she]_{534-his mother} intended one day to wear it . The night was now very cold and very dark , but with little delay [we]_5947-we found [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} . Soon [we]_5947-we were packed in [it]_{5783-the carriage} , as warm and as snug as at a fire - side ; and [the drive]_{5952-the drive} [home]_542-home was , [I]_142-lucy think , still pleasanter than the drive to the concert . Pleasant it was , even though [the coachman]_{4503-the coachman} - having spent in [the shop of a "_[142-lucy] marchand de vin]_{5955-the shop of a " marchand de vin} " a portion of the time [we]_5947-we passed at the concert - drove [us]_5947-we along [the dark and solitary chaussee]_{5956-the dark and solitary chaussee} far past the turn leading down to [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} ; [we]_5947-we , who were occupied in talking and laughing , not noticing the aberration till , at last , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} intimated that , though [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} had always thought [the chateau]_{5779-the chateau} [a retired spot]_{5958-a retired spot} , [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} did not know [it]_{5779-the chateau} was situated at [the world]_{811-the world} 's end , as [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} declared seemed now to be the case , for [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} believed [we]_5947-we had been an hour and a half en route , and had not yet taken the turn down [the avenue]_{5681-the avenue} . Then [Graham]_135-graham looked out , and perceiving only dim - spread fields , with unfamiliar rows of pollards and limes ranged along [their]_5961-their else invisible sunk - fences , began to conjecture how matters were , and calling a halt and descending , [he]_135-graham mounted the box and took the reins [himself]_135-graham . Thanks to [him]_135-graham , [we]_5947-we arrived safe at [home]_542-home about an hour and a half beyond [our]_5947-we time . [Martha]_286-martha had not forgotten [us]_5947-we ; a cheerful fire was burning , and a neat supper spread in [the dining - room]_{4338-the dining - room} : [we]_5947-we were glad of both . The winter dawn was actually breaking before [we]_5947-we gained [[our]_5947-we chambers]_{5964-our chambers} . [I]_142-lucy took off [my]_142-lucy pink dress and lace mantle with happier feelings than [I]_142-lucy had experienced in putting them on . [Not all , perhaps , who had shone brightly arrayed at that concert]_{5965-not all , perhaps , who had shone brightly arrayed at that concert} could say the same ; for [not all]_{5966-not all} had been satisfied with friendship - with its calm comfort and modest hope . CHAPTER XXI . REACTION . Yet three days , and then [I]_142-lucy must go back to [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat} . [I]_142-lucy almost numbered the moments of these days upon the clock ; [fain]_5968-fain would [I]_142-lucy have retarded [their]_5969-their flight ; but [they]_5969-their glided by while [I]_142-lucy watched [them]_5969-their : [they]_5969-their were already gone while [I]_142-lucy yet feared [their]_5969-their departure . "_[142-lucy] [Lucy]_142-lucy will not leave [us]_2295-us to - day , " said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , coaxingly at breakfast ; ' [she]_142-lucy knows [we]_2295-us can procure a second respite . "_[142-lucy] " [I]_2296-i would not ask for one if [I]_2296-i might have it for a word , "_[2296-i] said [I.]_2296-i " [I]_2296-i long to get the good - by over , and to be settled in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} again . [I]_2296-i must go this morning : [I]_2296-i must go directly ; [my]_2296-i trunk is packed and corded . "_[2296-i] It appeared ; however , that [my]_0-i going depended upon [Graham]_135-graham ; [he]_135-graham had said [he]_135-graham would accompany , [me]_0-i , and it so fell out that [he]_135-graham was engaged all day , and only returned [home]_542-home at dusk . Then ensued a little combat of words . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} and [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} pressed [me]_0-i to remain one night more . [I]_0-i could have cried , so irritated and eager was [I]_0-i to be gone . [I]_0-i longed to leave [them]_2299-them as [the criminal on the scaffold]_{2300-the criminal on the scaffold} longs for the axe to descend : that is , [I]_0-i wished the pang over . How much [I]_0-i wished it , [they]_2299-them could not tell . On these points , mine was a state of mind out of [their]_2299-them experience . It was dark when [Dr. John]_135-graham handed [me]_0-i from [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} at [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's door . The lamp above was lit ; it rained a November drizzle , as it had rained all day : the lamplight gleamed on the wet pavement . Just such a night was it as that on which , not a year ago , [I]_0-i had first stopped at this very threshold ; just similar was the scene . [I]_0-i remembered the very shapes of the paving - stones which [I]_0-i had noted with idle eye , while , with a thick - beating heart , [I]_0-i waited the unclosing of that door at which [I]_0-i stood - [a solitary and a suppliant]_{2302-a solitary and a suppliant} . On that night , too , [I]_0-i had briefly met [him]_2303-he who now stood with [me]_0-i . Had [I]_0-i ever reminded [him]_2303-he of [that rencontre]_{2304-that rencontre} , or explained it ? [I]_0-i had not , nor ever felt the inclination to do so : it was a pleasant thought , laid by in [my]_0-i own mind , and best kept there . [Graham]_135-graham rung the bell . The door was instantly opened , for it was just that period of the evening when [the half - boarders]_{5197-the half - boarders} took [their]_{5197-the half - boarders} departure - consequently , [Rosine]_203-rosine was on the alert . " Do n't come in , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i to [him]_2303-he ; but [he]_2303-he stepped a moment into [the well- lighted vestibule]_{2306-the well- lighted vestibule} . [I]_0-i had not wished [him]_2303-he to see that " the water stood in [my]_2303-he eyes , "_[2303-he] for [his]_2303-he was too kind a nature ever to be needlessly shown such signs of sorrow . [He]_2303-he always wished to heal - to relieve - when , physician as [he]_2303-he was , neither cure nor alleviation were , perhaps , in [his]_2303-he power . " Keep up [your]_0-i courage , [Lucy]_142-lucy . Think of [[my]_2303-he mother]_{4268-my mother} and [myself]_2303-he as [true friends]_{5972-true friends} . [We]_2307-we will not forget [you]_0-i . "_[2303-he] " Nor will [I]_0-i forget [you]_2303-he , [Dr. John]_135-graham . "_[0-i] [My]_0-i trunk was now brought in . [We]_2307-we had shaken hands ; [he]_2303-he had turned to go , but [he]_2303-he was not satisfied : [he]_2303-he had not done or said enough to content [his]_2303-he generous impulses . " [Lucy]_142-lucy , "_[2303-he] - stepping after [me]_0-i - ' shall [you]_0-i feel very solitary here ? " "_[2303-he] At first [I]_0-i shall . " "_[2303-he] Well , [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} will soon call to see [you]_0-i ; and , meantime , [I]_0-i 'll tell [you]_0-i what [I]_0-i 'll do . [I]_0-i 'll write - just any cheerful nonsense that comes into [my]_0-i head - shall [I]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] Good , gallant heart ! " thought [I]_0-i to [myself]_0-i ; but [I]_0-i shook [my]_0-i head , smiling , and said , "_[0-i] Never think of it : impose on [yourself]_0-i no such task . [You]_0-i write to [me]_0-i ! - [you]_0-i 'll not have time . " "_[0-i] Oh ! [I]_0-i will find or make time . Good - by ! " [He]_0-i was gone . The heavy door crashed to : the axe had fallen - the pang was experienced . Allowing [myself]_135-graham no time to think or feel - swallowing tears as if they had been wine - [I]_135-graham passed to [[Madame]_190-madame 's sitting - room]_{5973-madame 's sitting - room} to pay the necessary visit of ceremony and respect . [She]_190-madame received [me]_135-graham with perfectly well- acted cordiality - was even demonstrative , though brief , in [her]_190-madame welcome . In ten minutes [I]_135-graham was dismissed . From [the salle - a - manger]_{1350-the salle - a - manger} [I]_135-graham proceeded to [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory} , where [pupils]_4924-pupils and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} were now assembled for evening study : again [I]_135-graham had a welcome , and one not , [I]_135-graham think , quite hollow . That over , [I]_135-graham was free to repair to [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} . "_[135-graham] And will [Graham]_135-graham really write ? " [I]_135-graham questioned , as [I]_135-graham sank tired on the edge of the bed . [Reason]_315-reason , coming stealthily up to [me]_135-graham through the twilight of [that long , dim chamber]_{5979-that long , dim chamber} , whispered sedately - "_[135-graham] [He]_135-graham may write once . So kind is [his]_135-graham nature , it may stimulate [him]_135-graham for once to make the effort . But it can not be continued - it may not be repeated . Great were that folly which should build on such a promise - insane that credulity which should mistake the transitory rain - pool , holding in its hollow one draught , for the perennial spring yielding the supply of seasons . " [I]_2310-fool bent [my]_2310-fool head : [I]_2310-fool sat thinking an hour longer . [Reason]_315-reason still whispered [me]_2310-fool , laying on [my]_2310-fool shoulder a withered hand , and frostily touching [my]_2310-fool ear with the chill blue lips of eld . "_[2310-fool] If , " muttered [she]_315-reason , "_[2310-fool] if [he]_135-graham should write , what then ? Do [you]_2309-you meditate pleasure in replying ? Ah , [fool]_2310-fool ! [I]_0-i warn [you]_2309-you ! Brief be [your]_2309-you answer . Hope no delight of heart - no indulgence of intellect : grant no expansion to feeling - give holiday to [no single faculty]_{2311-no single faculty} : dally with no friendly exchange : foster no genial intercommunion .... " "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i have talked to [Graham]_135-graham and [you]_0-i did not chide , " [I]_0-i pleaded . "_[0-i] No , " said [she]_315-reason , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i needed not . Talk for [you]_2309-you is good discipline . [You]_2309-you converse imperfectly . While [you]_2309-you speak , there can be no oblivion of inferiority - no encouragement to delusion : pain , privation , penury stamp [your]_2309-you language .... " "_[2309-you] But , " [I]_2309-you again broke in , "_[2309-you] where the bodily presence is weak and the speech contemptible , surely there can not be error in making written language the medium of better utterance than faltering lips can achieve ? " [Reason]_315-reason only answered , "_[2309-you] At [your]_2309-you peril [you]_2309-you cherish that idea , or suffer its influence to animate any writing of [yours]_2309-you ! " "_[2309-you] But if [I]_0-i feel , may [I]_0-i never express ? " "_[0-i] Never ! " declared [Reason]_315-reason . [I]_0-i groaned under [her]_315-reason bitter sternness . Never - never - oh , hard word ! [This hag]_{5980-this hag} , [this Reason]_{5981-this reason} , would not let [me]_0-i look up , or smile , or hope : [she]_315-reason could not rest unless [I]_0-i were altogether crushed , cowed , broken - in , and broken - down . According to [her]_315-reason , [I]_0-i was born only to work for a piece of bread , to await the pains of death , and steadily through all life to despond . [Reason]_315-reason might be right ; yet no wonder [we]_5982-our are glad at times to defy [her]_315-reason , to rush from under [her]_315-reason rod and give a truant hour to [Imagination]_{316-imagination} - [her]_315-reason soft , bright foe , [our]_5982-our sweet Help , [our]_5982-our divine Hope . [We]_5982-our shall and must break bounds at intervals , despite the terrible revenge that awaits [our]_5982-our return . [Reason]_315-reason is vindictive as [a devil]_{5983-a devil} : for [me]_0-i [she]_315-reason was always envenomed as [a step - mother]_{5984-a step - mother} . If [I]_0-i have obeyed [her]_315-reason it has chiefly been with the obedience of fear , not of love . Long ago [I]_0-i should have died of [her]_315-reason ill - usage [her]_315-reason stint , [her]_315-reason chill , [her]_315-reason barren board , [her]_315-reason icy bed , [her]_315-reason savage , ceaseless blows ; but for that kinder Power who holds [my]_0-i secret and sworn allegiance . Often has [Reason]_315-reason turned [me]_0-i out by night , in mid - winter , on cold snow , flinging for sustenance the gnawed bone dogs had forsaken : sternly has [she]_315-reason vowed [her]_315-reason stores held nothing more for [me]_0-i - harshly denied [my]_0-i right to ask better things .... Then , looking up , have [I]_0-i seen in the sky a head amidst circling stars , of which the midmost and the brightest lent a ray sympathetic and attent . A spirit , softer and better than [Human Reason]_315-reason , has descended with quiet flight to [the waste]_{5985-the waste} - bringing all round [her]_315-reason a sphere of air borrowed of eternal summer ; bringing perfume of flowers which can not fade - fragrance of trees whose fruit is life ; bringing breezes pure from [a world whose day needs no sun to lighten it]_{5986-a world whose day needs no sun to lighten it} . [My]_0-i hunger has [this good angel]_{5987-this good angel} appeased with food , sweet and strange , gathered amongst gleaning angels , garnering [their]_{5987-this good angel} dew- white harvest in the first fresh hour of a heavenly day ; tenderly has [she]_315-reason assuaged the insufferable fears which weep away life itself - kindly given rest to deadly weariness - generously lent hope and impulse to paralyzed despair . Divine , compassionate , succourable influence ! When [I]_0-i bend the knee to other than [God]_164-god , it shall be at [thy]_315-reason white and winged feet , beautiful on mountain or on plain . [Temples]_5988-temples have been reared to the Sun - altars dedicated to the Moon . Oh , greater glory ! To [thee]_315-reason neither hands build , nor lips consecrate : but hearts , through ages , are faithful to [thy]_315-reason worship . [A dwelling [thou]_315-reason hast , too wide for walls , too high for dome]_{5989-a dwelling thou hast , too wide for walls , too high for dome} - [a temple whose floors are space - rites whose mysteries transpire in presence , to the kindling , the harmony of worlds]_{5990-a temple whose floors are space - rites whose mysteries transpire in presence , to the kindling , the harmony of worlds} ! Sovereign complete ! [thou]_315-reason hadst , for endurance , [[thy]_315-reason great army of [martyrs]_5992-martyrs]_{5991-thy great army of martyrs} ; for achievement , [[thy]_315-reason chosen band of worthies]_{5993-thy chosen band of worthies} . [Deity]_317-deity unquestioned , thine essence foils decay ! [This daughter of Heaven]_{5994-this daughter of heaven} remembered [me]_0-i to - night ; [she]_{5994-this daughter of heaven} saw [me]_0-i weep , and [she]_{5994-this daughter of heaven} came with comfort : "_[0-i] Sleep , " [she]_{5994-this daughter of heaven} said . "_[0-i] Sleep , sweetly - [I]_0-i gild [thy]_0-i dreams ! " [She]_{5994-this daughter of heaven} kept [her]_{5994-this daughter of heaven} word , and watched [me]_0-i through a night 's rest ; but at dawn [Reason]_315-reason relieved [the guard]_{5995-the guard} . [I]_0-i awoke with a sort of start ; the rain was dashing against the panes , and the wind uttering a peevish cry at intervals ; the night - lamp was dying on the black circular stand in the middle of [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} : day had already broken . How [I]_0-i pity [those whom mental pain stuns instead of rousing]_{5997-those whom mental pain stuns instead of rousing} ! This morning the pang of waking snatched [me]_0-i out of bed like a hand with a giant 's gripe . How quickly [I]_0-i dressed in the cold of the raw dawn ! How deeply [I]_0-i drank of the ice- cold water in [my]_0-i carafe ! This was always [my]_0-i cordial , to which , like [other dram - drinkers]_{5998-other dram - drinkers} , [I]_0-i had eager recourse when unsettled by chagrin . Ere long the bell rang its reveillee to [the whole school]_{4864-the whole school} . Being dressed , [I]_0-i descended alone to [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory} , where the stove was lit and the air was warm ; through [the rest of [the house]_{518-the house}]_{6001-the rest of the house} it was cold , with the nipping severity of a continental winter : though now but the beginning of November , a north wind had thus early brought a wintry blight over [Europe]_17-europe : [I]_0-i remember the black stoves pleased [me]_0-i little when [I]_0-i first came ; but now [I]_0-i began to associate with [them]_6003-they a sense of comfort , and liked them , as in [England]_19-england [we]_6004-we like a fireside . Sitting down before this dark comforter , [I]_0-i presently fell into a deep argument with [myself]_0-i on life and its chances , on destiny and [her]_6005-her decrees . [My]_0-i mind , calmer and stronger now than last night , made for itself some imperious rules , prohibiting under deadly penalties all weak retrospect of happiness past ; commanding [a patient journeying through the wilderness of the present]_{6006-a patient journeying through the wilderness of the present} , enjoining a reliance on faith - a watching of the cloud and pillar which subdue while [they]_6003-they guide , and awe while [they]_6003-they illumine - hushing the impulse to fond idolatry , checking the longing out - look for [a far - off promised land whose rivers]_{6007-a far - off promised land whose rivers} are , perhaps , never to be , reached save in dying dreams , whose sweet [pastures are to be]_{6008-pastures are to be} viewed but from [the desolate and sepulchral summit of [a Nebo]_{79-a nebo}]_{6009-the desolate and sepulchral summit of a nebo} . By degrees , a composite feeling of blended strength and pain wound itself wirily round [my]_0-i heart , sustained , or at least restrained , its throbbings , and made [me]_0-i fit for the day 's work . [I]_0-i lifted [my]_0-i head . As [I]_0-i said before , [I]_0-i was sitting near the stove , let into the wall beneath [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory} and the carre , and thus sufficing to heat [both apartments]_{6011-both apartments} . Piercing the same wall , and close beside the stove , was a window , looking also into the carre ; as [I]_0-i looked up a cap - tassel , a brow , two eyes , filled a pane of that window ; the fixed gaze of those two eyes hit right against [my]_0-i own glance : [they]_6012-they were watching [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had not till that moment known that tears were on [my]_0-i cheek , but [I]_0-i felt them now . This was [a strange house , where no corner was sacred from intrusion , where not a tear could be shed]_{6013-a strange house , where no corner was sacred from intrusion , where not a tear could be shed} , nor a thought pondered , but [a spy]_{6014-a spy} was at hand to note and to divine . And this new , this out - door , [this male spy]_{6015-this male spy} , what business had brought [him]_{6015-this male spy} to [the premises]_{1020-the premises} at this unwonted hour ? What possible right had [he]_{6015-this male spy} to intrude on [me]_0-i thus ? [No other professor]_{6017-no other professor} would have dared to cross [the carre]_{4820-the carre} before the class - bell rang . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} took no account of hours nor of claims : there was some book of reference in [the first - class library]_{6019-the first - class library} which [he]_{196-m. paul} had occasion to consult ; [he]_{196-m. paul} had come to seek it : on [his]_{196-m. paul} way [he]_{196-m. paul} passed [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory} . It was very much [his]_{196-m. paul} habit to wear eyes before , behind , and on each side of [him]_{196-m. paul} : [he]_{196-m. paul} had seen [me]_0-i through the little window - [he]_{196-m. paul} now opened the refectory door , and there [he]_{196-m. paul} stood . "_[0-i] Mademoiselle , vous etes triste . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , j'en ai bien le droit . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} Vous etes malade de coeur et d'humeur , " [he]_{196-m. paul} pursued . "_{[1465-monsieur]} [You]_{1465-monsieur} are at once mournful and mutinous . [I]_0-i see on [your]_{1465-monsieur} cheek two tears which [I]_0-i know are hot as two sparks , and salt as two crystals of [the sea]_{725-the sea} . While [I]_0-i speak [you]_{1465-monsieur} eye [me]_0-i strangely . Shall [I]_0-i tell [you]_{1465-monsieur} of what [I]_0-i am reminded while watching [you]_{1465-monsieur} ? " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [I]_0-i shall be called away to prayers shortly ; [my]_0-i time for conversation is very scant and brief at this hour - excuse - - " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i excuse everything , " [he]_0-i interrupted ; "_[0-i] [my]_0-i mood is so meek , neither rebuff nor , perhaps , insult could ruffle it . [You]_{1465-monsieur} remind [me]_0-i , then , of [a young she wild creature]_{2315-a young she wild creature} , new caught , untamed , viewing with a mixture of fire and fear the first entrance of the breaker - in . " Unwarrantable accost ! - rash and rude if addressed to [a pupil]_{4902-a pupil} ; to [a teacher]_{4895-a teacher} inadmissible . [He]_0-i thought to provoke a warm reply ; [I]_{1465-monsieur} had seen [him]_0-i vex the passionate to explosion before now . In [me]_{1465-monsieur} [his]_0-i malice should find no gratification ; [I]_{1465-monsieur} sat silent . "_{[1465-monsieur]} [You]_{1465-monsieur} look , " said [he]_0-i , "_{[1465-monsieur]} like one who would snatch at a draught of sweet poison , and spurn wholesome bitters with disgust . " Indeed , [I]_0-i never liked bitters ; nor do [I]_0-i believe them wholesome . And to whatever is sweet , be it poison or food , [you]_{1465-monsieur} can not , at least , deny its own delicious quality - sweetness . Better , perhaps , to die quickly a pleasant death , than drag on long a charmless life . "_[0-i] " Yet , "_[0-i] said [he]_0-i , " [you]_{1465-monsieur} should take [your]_{1465-monsieur} bitter dose duly and daily , if [I]_0-i had the power to administer it ; and , as to the well - beloved poison , [I]_0-i would , perhaps , break the very cup which held it . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i sharply turned [my]_0-i head away , partly because [his]_0-i presence utterly displeased [me]_0-i , and partly because [I]_0-i wished to shun questions : lest , in [my]_0-i present mood , the effort of answering should overmaster self- command . " Come , "_[0-i] said [he]_0-i , more softly , " tell [me]_0-i the truth - [you]_{1465-monsieur} grieve at being parted from [friends]_533-friends - is it not so ? "_[0-i] The insinuating softness was not more acceptable than the inquisitorial curiosity . [I]_0-i was silent . [He]_0-i came into [the room]_{600-the room} , sat down on the bench about two yards from [me]_0-i , and persevered long , and , for [him]_0-i , patiently , in attempts to draw [me]_0-i into conversation - attempts necessarily unavailing , because [I]_0-i could not talk . At last [I]_0-i entreated to be let alone . In uttering the request , [my]_0-i voice faltered , [my]_0-i head sank on [my]_0-i arms and the table . [I]_0-i wept bitterly , though quietly . [He]_0-i sat a while longer . [I]_0-i did not look up nor speak , till the closing door and [his]_0-i retreating step told [me]_0-i that [he]_0-i was gone . These tears proved a relief . [I]_0-i had time to bathe [my]_0-i eyes before breakfast , and [I]_0-i suppose [I]_0-i appeared at that meal as serene as [any other person]_{2317-any other person} : not , however , quite as jocund - looking as [the young lady who placed [herself]_{2318-the young lady who placed herself in the seat opposite mine} in the seat opposite [mine]_0-i]_{2318-the young lady who placed herself in the seat opposite mine} , fixed on [me]_0-i a pair of somewhat small eyes twinkling gleefully , and frankly stretched across the table a white hand to be shaken . [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's travels , gaieties , and flirtations agreed with [her]_179-ginevra mightily ; [she]_179-ginevra had become quite plump , [her]_179-ginevra cheeks looked as round as apples . [I]_0-i had seen [her]_179-ginevra last in elegant evening attire . [I]_0-i do n't know that [she]_179-ginevra looked less charming now in [her]_179-ginevra school - dress , a kind of careless peignoir of a dark - blue material , dimly and dingily plaided with black . [I]_0-i even think this dusky wrapper gave [her]_179-ginevra charms a triumph ; enhancing by contrast the fairness of [her]_179-ginevra skin , the freshness of [her]_179-ginevra bloom , the golden beauty of [her]_179-ginevra tresses . " [I]_179-ginevra am glad [you]_0-i are come back , [Timon]_318-timon , "_{[179-ginevra]} said [she]_179-ginevra . [Timon]_318-timon was one of [her]_179-ginevra dozen names for [me]_0-i . " [You]_0-i do n't know how often [I]_179-ginevra have wanted [you]_0-i in this dismal hole . "_{[179-ginevra]} " Oh , have [you]_0-i ? Then , of course , if [you]_0-i wanted [me]_0-i , [you]_0-i have something for [me]_0-i to do : stockings to mend , perhaps . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i never gave [Ginevra]_179-ginevra a minute 's or a farthing 's credit for disinterestedness . " Crabbed and crusty as ever ! "_{[179-ginevra]} said [she]_179-ginevra . " [I]_179-ginevra expected as much : it would not be [you]_0-i if [you]_0-i did not snub one . But now , come , [grand - mother]_{6024-grand - mother} , [I]_179-ginevra hope [you]_0-i like coffee as much , and pistolets as little as ever : are [you]_0-i disposed to barter ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " Take [your]_0-i own way . "_{[179-ginevra]} This way consisted in a habit [she]_179-ginevra had of making [me]_0-i convenient . [She]_179-ginevra did not like the morning cup of coffee ; [its]_2319-its school brewage not being strong or sweet enough to suit [her]_179-ginevra palate ; and [she]_179-ginevra had an excellent appetite , like [any other healthy school - girl]_{2320-any other healthy school - girl} , for the morning pistolets or rolls , which were new - baked and very good , and of which a certain allowance was served to each . This allowance being more than [I]_0-i needed , [I]_0-i gave half to [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ; never varying in [my]_0-i preference , though many others used to covet the superfluity ; and [she]_179-ginevra in return would sometimes give [me]_0-i a portion of [her]_179-ginevra coffee . This morning [I]_0-i was glad of the draught ; hunger [I]_0-i had none , and with thirst [I]_0-i was parched . [I]_0-i do n't know why [I]_0-i chose to give [my]_0-i bread rather to [Ginevra]_179-ginevra than to another ; nor why , if [two]_2321-two had to share the convenience of one drinking - vessel , as sometimes happened - for instance , when [we]_2322-we took a long walk into [the country]_{571-the country} , and halted for refreshment at [a farm]_{2324-a farm} - [I]_0-i always contrived that [she]_179-ginevra should be [[my]_0-i convive]_{2325-my convive} , and rather liked to let [her]_179-ginevra take the lion 's share , whether of the white beer , the sweet wine , or the new milk : so it was , however , and [she]_179-ginevra knew it ; and , therefore , while [we]_2322-we wrangled daily , [we]_2322-we were never alienated . After breakfast [my]_0-i custom was to withdraw to the first classe , and sit and read , or think oftenest [the latter there]_{2326-the latter there} alone , till the nine- o'clock bell threw open all doors , admitted the gathered rush of [externes]_{1417-externes} and [demi - pensionnaires]_{2328-demi - pensionnaires} , and gave the signal for entrance on that bustle and business to which , till five P.M. , there was no relax . [I]_0-i was just seated this morning , when a tap came to the door . " Pardon , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , "_{[2329-a pensionnaire]} said [a pensionnaire]_{2329-a pensionnaire} , entering gently ; and having taken from [her]_{2329-a pensionnaire} desk some necessary book or paper , [she]_{2329-a pensionnaire} withdrew on tip - toe , murmuring as [she]_{2329-a pensionnaire} passed [me]_0-i , " Que mademoiselle est appliquee ! "_{[2329-a pensionnaire]} Appliquee , indeed ! The means of application were spread before [me]_0-i , but [I]_0-i was doing nothing ; and had done nothing , and meant to do nothing . Thus does [the world]_{811-the world} give [us]_2322-we credit for merits [we]_2322-we have not . [Madame Beck]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame deemed [me]_0-i [a regular bas - bleu]_{2331-a regular bas - bleu} , and often and solemnly used to warn [me]_0-i not to study too much , lest " the blood should all go to [my]_190-madame head . "_[190-madame] Indeed , [everybody in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette}]_{2332-everybody in the rue fossette} held a superstition that " [Meess Lucie]_{187-meess lucie} "_[190-madame] was learned ; with the notable exception of [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , who , by means peculiar to [himself]_{196-m. paul} , and quite inscrutable to [me]_0-i , had obtained a not inaccurate inkling of [my]_0-i real qualifications , and used to take quiet opportunities of chuckling in [my]_0-i ear [his]_{196-m. paul} malign glee over [their]_2333-their scant measure . For [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i never troubled [myself]_0-i about this penury . [I]_0-i dearly like to think [my]_0-i own thoughts ; [I]_0-i had great pleasure in reading a few books , but not many : preferring always those on whose style or sentiment [the writer]_{2334-the writer} 's individual nature was plainly stamped ; flagging inevitably over characterless books , however clever and meritorious : perceiving well that , as far as [my]_0-i own mind was concerned , [God]_164-god had limited [its]_164-god powers and , its action - thankful , [I]_0-i trust , for the gift bestowed , but unambitious of higher endowments , not restlessly eager after higher culture . [The polite pupil]_{2335-the polite pupil} was scarcely gone , when , unceremoniously , without tap , in burst a second intruder . Had [I]_0-i been blind [I]_0-i should have known who this was . [A constitutional reserve of manner]_{2336-a constitutional reserve of manner} had by this time told with wholesome and , for [me]_0-i , commodious effect , on the manners of [[my]_0-i co - inmates]_{2337-my co - inmates} ; rarely did [I]_0-i now suffer from rude or intrusive treatment . When [I]_0-i first came , it would happen once and again that [a blunt German]_{2338-a blunt german} would clap [me]_0-i on the shoulder , and ask [me]_0-i to run a race ; or [a riotous Labassecourienne]_{2339-a riotous labassecourienne} seize [me]_0-i by the arm and drag [me]_0-i towards [the playground]_{2340-the playground} : urgent proposals to take a swing at the " Pas de Geant , "_{[2339-a riotous labassecourienne]} or to join in a certain romping hide - and - seek game called " Un , deux , trois , "_{[2339-a riotous labassecourienne]} were formerly also of hourly occurrence ; but all these little attentions had ceased some time ago - ceased , too , without [my]_0-i finding it necessary to be at the trouble of point - blank cutting them short . [I]_0-i had now no familiar demonstration to dread or endure , save from one quarter ; and as that was English [I]_0-i could bear it . [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra made no scruple of - at times - catching [me]_0-i as [I]_0-i was crossing the carre , whirling [me]_0-i round in a compulsory waltz , and heartily enjoying the mental and physical discomfiture [her]_179-ginevra proceeding induced . [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra it was who now broke in upon " [my]_179-ginevra learned leisure . "_{[179-ginevra]} [She]_179-ginevra carried a huge music - book under [her]_179-ginevra arm . " Go to [your]_179-ginevra practising , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i to [her]_179-ginevra at once : " away with [you]_179-ginevra to [the little salon]_{6025-the little salon} ! "_[0-i] " Not till [I]_179-ginevra have had a talk with [you]_179-ginevra , [chere amie]_{6026-chere amie} . [I]_179-ginevra know where [you]_179-ginevra have been spending [your]_179-ginevra vacation , and how [you]_179-ginevra have commenced sacrificing to the graces , and enjoying life like [any other belle]_{6027-any other belle} . [I]_179-ginevra saw [you]_179-ginevra at the concert the other night , dressed , actually , like [anybody else]_{1529-anybody else} . Who is [your]_179-ginevra tailleuse ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " Tittle - tattle : how prettily it begins ! [My]_179-ginevra tailleuse ! - a fiddlestick ! Come , sheer off , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra . [I]_179-ginevra really do n't want [your]_179-ginevra company . "_{[179-ginevra]} " But when [I]_0-i want [yours]_179-ginevra so much , ange farouche , what does a little reluctance on [your]_179-ginevra part signify ? [Dieu merci]_270-dieu ! [we]_6029-our know how to manoeuvre with [[our]_6029-our gifted compatriote]_{6030-our gifted compatriote} - [the learned ' ourse Britannique]_{6031-the learned ' ourse britannique} . ' And so , [Ourson]_319-ourson , [you]_319-ourson know [Isidore]_190-madame ? "_[0-i] " [I]_179-ginevra know [John Bretton]_135-graham . "_{[179-ginevra]} " Oh , hush ! "_{[179-ginevra]} putting [her]_2341-her fingers in [her]_2341-her ears " [you]_179-ginevra crack [my]_179-ginevra tympanums with [your]_179-ginevra rude Anglicisms . But , how is [[our]_6029-our well - beloved [John]_135-graham]_{6032-our well - beloved john} ? Do tell [me]_179-ginevra about [him]_135-graham . [The poor man]_{4769-the poor man} must be in a sad way . What did [he]_135-graham say to [my]_179-ginevra behaviour the other night ? Was n't [I]_179-ginevra cruel ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " Do [you]_319-ourson think [I]_179-ginevra noticed [you]_319-ourson ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " It was a delightful evening . Oh , that divine [de Hamal]_{271-de hamal} ! And then to watch the other sulking and dying in the distance ; and [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} - [[my]_179-ginevra future mamma - in - law]_{6035-my future mamma - in - law} ! But [I]_179-ginevra am afraid [I]_179-ginevra and [Lady Sara]_{308-lady sara} were a little rude in quizzing [her]_{1842-the old lady} . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [Lady Sara]_{308-lady sara} never quizzed [her]_{308-lady sara} at all ; and for what [you]_319-ourson did , do n't make [yourself]_319-ourson in the least uneasy : [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} will survive [your]_319-ourson sneer . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [She]_{1842-the old lady} may : [old ladies]_{6036-old ladies} are tough ; but [that poor son of hers]_{6037-that poor son of hers} ! Do tell [me]_179-ginevra what [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} said : [I]_179-ginevra saw [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} was terribly cut up . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [He]_{6037-that poor son of hers} said [you]_319-ourson looked as if at heart [you]_319-ourson were already [Madame de Hamal]_320-madame . "_{[179-ginevra]} " Did [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} ? "_[2342-she] [she]_2342-she cried with delight . " [He]_{6037-that poor son of hers} noticed that ? How charming ! [I]_2342-she thought [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} would be mad with jealousy ? "_[2342-she] " [Ginevra]_{271-de hamal} , have [you]_319-ourson seriously done with [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ? Do [you]_319-ourson want [him]_{6037-that poor son of hers} to give [you]_319-ourson up ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " Oh ! [you]_319-ourson know [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} ca n't do that : but was n't [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} mad ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " Quite mad , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i assented ; " as mad as a March hare . "_[0-i] " Well , and how ever did [you]_319-ourson get [him]_{6037-that poor son of hers} [home]_542-home ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " How ever , indeed ! Have [you]_319-ourson no pity on [[his]_{6037-that poor son of hers} poor mother]_{6039-his poor mother} and [me]_179-ginevra ? Fancy [us]_6040-us holding [him]_{6037-that poor son of hers} tight down in [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} , and [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} raving between [us]_6040-us , fit to drive [everybody]_{4957-everybody} delirious . [The very coachman]_{6043-the very coachman} went wrong , somehow , and [we]_6040-us lost [our]_6040-us way . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [You]_319-ourson do n't say so ? [You]_319-ourson are laughing at [me]_0-i . Now , [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy - "_[0-i] " [I]_179-ginevra assure [you]_2343-you it is fact - and fact , also , that [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} would not stay in [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} : [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} broke from [us]_6040-us , and would ride outside . "_{[179-ginevra]} " And afterwards ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " Afterwards - when [he]_{6037-that poor son of hers} did reach [home]_542-home - the scene transcends description . "_[0-i] " Oh , but describe it - [you]_2343-you know it is such fun ! "_[0-i] " Fun for [you]_2343-you , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ? but "_{[179-ginevra]} with stern gravity [you]_2343-you know the proverb - ' What is sport to one may be death to another . ' " "_[0-i] Go on , there 's a darling [Timon]_318-timon . " "_[318-timon] Conscientiously , [I]_0-i can not , unless [you]_2343-you assure [me]_0-i [you]_2343-you have some heart . " "_[2343-you] [I]_0-i have - such an immensity , [you]_2343-you do n't know ! " "_[2343-you] Good ! In that case , [you]_2343-you will be able to conceive [Dr. Graham Bretton]_135-graham rejecting [his]_135-graham supper in the first instance - the chicken , the sweetbread prepared for [his]_135-graham refreshment , left on the table untouched . Then - - but it is of no use dwelling at length on the harrowing details . Suffice it to say , that never , in the most stormy fits and moments of [his]_135-graham infancy , had [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} such work to tuck the sheets about [him]_135-graham as [she]_{534-his mother} had that night . " "_{[534-his mother]} [He]_135-graham would n't lie still ? " "_[135-graham] [He]_135-graham would n't lie still : there it was . The sheets might be tucked in , but the thing was to keep them tucked in . " "_[135-graham] And what did [he]_135-graham say ? " "_[135-graham] Say ! Ca n't [you]_2343-you imagine [him]_135-graham demanding [his]_135-graham divine [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , anathematizing [that demon]_{2345-that demon} , [de Hamal]_{271-de hamal} - raving about golden locks , blue eyes , white arms , glittering bracelets ? " "_[135-graham] No , did [he]_135-graham ? [He]_135-graham saw the bracelet ? " "_[135-graham] Saw the bracelet ? Yes , as plain as [I]_0-i saw it : and , perhaps , for the first time , [he]_135-graham saw also the brand - mark with which its pressure has encircled [your]_2346-your arm . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra " rising , and changing [my]_135-graham tone , "_[135-graham] come , [we]_2347-we will have an end of this . Go away to [your]_2343-you practising . " And [I]_135-graham opened the door . "_[135-graham] But [you]_2343-you have not told [me]_0-i all . " "_[2343-you] [You]_2343-you had better not wait until [I]_0-i do tell [you]_2343-you all . Such extra communicativeness could give [you]_2343-you no pleasure . [March]_321-march ! " "_[321-march] Cross thing ! " said [she]_179-ginevra ; but [she]_179-ginevra obeyed : and , indeed , the first classe was [[my]_0-i territory]_{6046-my territory} , and [she]_179-ginevra could not there legally resist a notice of quittance from [me]_0-i . Yet , to speak the truth , never had [I]_0-i been less dissatisfied with [her]_179-ginevra than [I]_0-i was then . There was pleasure in thinking of the contrast between the reality and [my]_0-i description - to remember [Dr. John]_135-graham enjoying the drive [home]_542-home , eating [his]_135-graham supper with relish , and retiring to rest with [Christian]_{131-christian} composure . It was only when [I]_0-i saw [him]_135-graham really unhappy that [I]_0-i felt really vexed with the fair , frail cause of [his]_135-graham suffering . A fortnight passed ; [I]_0-i was getting once more inured to the harness of [school]_675-school , and lapsing from the passionate pain of change to the palsy of custom . One afternoon , in crossing the carre , on [my]_0-i way to [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} , where [I]_0-i was expected to assist at a lesson of ' style and literature , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i saw , standing by one of the long and large windows , [Rosine]_203-rosine , [the portress]_{1079-the portress} . [Her]_203-rosine attitude , as usual , was quite nonchalante . [She]_203-rosine always ' stood at ease ; " one of [her]_203-rosine hands rested in [her]_203-rosine apron- pocket , the other at this moment held to [her]_203-rosine eyes a letter , whereof [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} coolly perused the address , and deliberately studied the seal . A letter ! The shape of a letter similar to that had haunted [my]_203-rosine brain in its very core for seven days past . [I]_203-rosine had dreamed of a letter last night . Strong magnetism drew [me]_203-rosine to that letter now ; yet , whether [I]_203-rosine should have ventured to demand of [Rosine]_203-rosine so much as a glance at that white envelope , with the spot of red wax in the middle , [I]_203-rosine know not . No ; [I]_203-rosine think [I]_203-rosine should have sneaked past in terror of a rebuff from [Disappointment]_{242-disappointment} : [my]_203-rosine heart throbbed now as if [I]_203-rosine already heard the tramp of [her]_203-rosine approach . Nervous mistake ! It was the rapid step of [the Professor of Literature]_{5372-the professor of literature} measuring [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} . [I]_203-rosine fled before [him]_{5372-the professor of literature} . Could [I]_203-rosine but be seated quietly at [my]_203-rosine desk before [his]_{5372-the professor of literature} arrival , with the class under [my]_203-rosine orders all in disciplined readiness , [he]_{5372-the professor of literature} would , perhaps , exempt [me]_203-rosine from notice ; but , if caught lingering in the carre , [I]_203-rosine should be sure to come in for a special harangue . [I]_203-rosine had time to get seated , to enforce perfect silence , to take out [my]_203-rosine work , and to commence it amidst the profoundest and best trained hush , ere [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} entered with [his]_{196-m. paul} vehement burst of latch and panel , and [his]_{196-m. paul} deep , redundant bow , prophetic of choler . As usual [he]_{196-m. paul} broke upon [us]_6052-us like a clap of thunder ; but instead of flashing lightning - wise from the door to [the estrade]_{6053-the estrade} , [his]_{196-m. paul} career halted midway at [my]_203-rosine desk . Setting [his]_{196-m. paul} face towards [me]_203-rosine and the window , [his]_{196-m. paul} back to [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} and [the room]_{600-the room} , [he]_{196-m. paul} gave [me]_203-rosine a look - such a look as might have licensed [me]_203-rosine to stand straight up and demand what [he]_{196-m. paul} meant - a look of scowling distrust . "_[203-rosine] Voila ! pour vous , " said [he]_{196-m. paul} , drawing [his]_{196-m. paul} hand from [his]_{196-m. paul} waist - coat , and placing on [my]_203-rosine desk a letter - the very letter [I]_203-rosine had seen in [Rosine]_203-rosine 's hand - the letter whose face of enamelled white and single Cyclop's - eye of vermilion - red had printed themselves so clear and perfect on the retina of an inward vision . [I]_203-rosine knew it , [I]_203-rosine felt it to be the letter of [my]_203-rosine hope , the fruition of [my]_203-rosine wish , the release from [my]_203-rosine doubt , the ransom from [my]_203-rosine terror . This letter [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , with [his]_{196-m. paul} unwarrantably interfering habits , had taken from [the portress]_{1079-the portress} , and now delivered it [himself]_{196-m. paul} . [I]_203-rosine might have been angry , but had not a second for the sensation . Yes : [I]_203-rosine held in [my]_203-rosine hand not a slight note , but an envelope , which must , at least , contain a sheet : it felt not flimsy , but firm , substantial , satisfying . And here was the direction , "_[203-rosine] [Miss Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy , " in a clean , clear , equal , decided hand ; and here was the seal , round , full , deftly dropped by untremulous fingers , stamped with the well - cut impress of initials , "_[142-lucy] J. G. B. " [I]_2349-i experienced a happy feeling - a glad emotion which went warm to [my]_2349-i heart , and ran lively through all [my]_2349-i veins . For once a hope was realized . [I]_2349-i held in [my]_2349-i hand a morsel of real solid joy : not a dream , not an image of the brain , not one of those shadowy chances imagination pictures , and on which humanity starves but can not live ; not a mess of that manna [I]_2349-i drearily eulogized awhile ago - which , indeed , at first melts on the lips with an unspeakable and preternatural sweetness , but which , in the end , [our]_6057-our souls full surely loathe ; longing deliriously for natural and earth - grown food , wildly praying [Heaven]_188-heaven 's Spirits to reclaim [their]_6058-their own spirit - dew and essence - an aliment divine , but for [mortals deadly]_{6059-mortals deadly} . It was neither sweet hail nor small coriander - seed - neither slight wafer , nor luscious honey , [I]_2349-i had lighted on ; it was the wild , savoury mess of [the hunter]_{6060-the hunter} , nourishing and salubrious meat , forest - fed or desert - reared , fresh , healthful , and life - sustaining . It was what [the old dying patriarch]_{6061-the old dying patriarch} demanded of [[his]_{6061-the old dying patriarch} son]_{717-his son} [Esau]_305-esau , promising in requital the blessing of [his]_{6061-the old dying patriarch} last breath . It was [a godsend]_{6063-a godsend} ; and [I]_2349-i inwardly thanked [the God who had vouchsafed it]_{6064-the god who had vouchsafed it} . Outwardly [I]_2349-i only thanked [man]_618-man , crying , "_[2349-i] Thank [you]_2349-i , thank [you]_2349-i , [Monsieur]_{2350-monsieur} ! " [Monsieur]_{6066-monsieur} curled [his]_{6066-monsieur} lip , gave [me]_{2350-monsieur} a vicious glance of the eye , and strode to [his]_{6066-monsieur} estrade . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was not at all [a good little man]_{6067-a good little man} , though [he]_{196-m. paul} had good points . Did [I]_{2350-monsieur} read [my]_{2350-monsieur} letter [there]_512-there and then ? Did [I]_{2350-monsieur} consume the venison at once and with haste , as if [Esau]_305-esau 's shaft flew every day ? [I]_{2350-monsieur} knew better . The cover with its address - the seal , with its three clear letters - was bounty and abundance for the present . [I]_{2350-monsieur} stole from [the room]_{600-the room} , [I]_{2350-monsieur} procured the key of [the great dormitory]_{5533-the great dormitory} , which was kept locked by day . [I]_{2350-monsieur} went to [[my]_{2350-monsieur} bureau]_{6071-my bureau} ; with a sort of haste and trembling lest [Madame]_320-madame should creep up - stairs and spy [me]_{2350-monsieur} , [I]_{2350-monsieur} opened a drawer , unlocked a box , and took out a case , and - having feasted [my]_{2350-monsieur} eyes with one more look , and approached the seal with a mixture of awe and shame and delight , to [my]_{2350-monsieur} lips - [I]_{2350-monsieur} folded the untasted treasure , yet all fair and inviolate , in silver paper , committed it to the case , shut up box and drawer , reclosed , relocked [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} , and returned to [class]_6073-class , feeling as if fairy tales were true , and fairy gifts no dream . Strange , sweet insanity ! And this letter , the source of [my]_{2350-monsieur} joy , [I]_{2350-monsieur} had not yet read : did not yet know the number of its lines . When [I]_{2350-monsieur} re - entered [the schoolroom]_{5162-the schoolroom} , behold [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} raging like [a pestilence]_{6075-a pestilence} ! [Some pupil]_{6076-some pupil} had not spoken audibly or distinctly enough to suit [his]_{6076-some pupil} ear and taste , and now [she]_{6076-some pupil} and [others]_770-others were weeping , and [he]_{6076-some pupil} was raving from [his]_{6076-some pupil} estrade , almost livid . Curious to mention , as [I]_{2350-monsieur} appeared , [he]_{6076-some pupil} fell on [me]_{2350-monsieur} . "_{[2350-monsieur]} Was [I]_0-i [the mistress of [these girls]_{1133-these girls}]_{2351-the mistress of these girls} ? Did [I]_0-i profess to teach [them]_{1133-these girls} the conduct befitting [ladies]_622-ladies ? - and did [I]_0-i permit and , [he]_2354-he doubted not , encourage [them]_{1133-these girls} to strangle [[their]_{1133-these girls} mother]_{2355-their mother} - tongue in [their]_{1133-these girls} throats , to mince and mash it between [their]_{1133-these girls} teeth , as if [they]_{1133-these girls} had some base cause to be ashamed of the words [they]_{1133-these girls} uttered ? Was this modesty ? [He]_2354-he knew better . It was a vile pseudo sentiment - the offspring or the forerunner of evil . Rather than submit to this mopping and mowing , this mincing and grimacing , this , grinding of a noble tongue , this general affectation and sickening stubbornness of [the pupils of the first class]_{2356-the pupils of the first class} , [he]_2354-he would throw [them]_{2356-the pupils of the first class} up for a set of [insupportable petites maitresses]_{2357-insupportable petites maitresses} , and confine [himself]_2354-he to teaching [the ABC]_{2358-the abc} to [the babies of the third division]_{2359-the babies of the third division} . " What could [I]_2354-he say to all this ? Really nothing ; and [I]_2354-he hoped [he]_2354-he would allow [me]_2354-he to be silent . The storm recommenced . "_[2354-he] Every answer to [his]_2354-he queries was then refused ? It seemed to be considered in [that place]_{2360-that place} - that conceited boudoir of [a first classe]_{2361-a first classe} , with [its]_{2360-that place} pretentious book - cases , [its]_{2360-that place} green - baized desks , [its]_{2360-that place} rubbish of flower - stands , [its]_{2360-that place} trash of framed pictures and maps , and its foreign surveillante , forsooth ! - it seemed to be the fashion to think there that [the Professor of Literature]_{5372-the professor of literature} was not worthy of a reply ! These were new ideas ; imported , [he]_2354-he did not doubt , straight from ' la Grande [Bretagne]_80-bretagne : ' [they]_2363-my savoured of island insolence and arrogance . " Lull [the second]_{1505-the second} - [the girls]_{4757-the girls} , [not one of whom was ever known to weep a tear for the rebukes of any other master]_{6080-not one of whom was ever known to weep a tear for the rebukes of any other master} , now all melting like snow- statues before the intemperate heat of [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} : [I]_2363-my not yet much shaken , sitting down , and venturing to resume [my]_2363-my work . Something - either in [my]_2363-my continued silence or in the movement of [my]_2363-my hand , stitching - transported [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} beyond the last boundary of patience ; [he]_{196-m. paul} actually sprang from [his]_{196-m. paul} estrade . The stove stood near [my]_2363-my desk , [he]_{196-m. paul} attacked [it]_6081-it ; the little iron door was nearly dashed from its hinges , the fuel was made to fly . "_[2363-my] Est - ce que vous avez l'intention de m'insulter ? " said [he]_{196-m. paul} to [me]_2363-my , in a low , furious voice , as [he]_{196-m. paul} thus outraged , under pretence of arranging the fire . It was time to soothe [him]_{196-m. paul} a little if possible . "_[2363-my] Mais , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , " said [I]_{1465-monsieur} , "_{[1465-monsieur]} [I]_0-i would not insult [you]_{1465-monsieur} for [the world]_{811-the world} . [I]_0-i remember too well that [you]_{1465-monsieur} once said [we]_2366-we should be [friends]_533-friends . " [I]_{1465-monsieur} did not intend [my]_{1465-monsieur} voice to falter , but it did : more , [I]_{1465-monsieur} think , through the agitation of late delight than in any spasm of present fear . Still there certainly was something in [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's anger - a kind of passion of emotion - that specially tended to draw tears . [I]_{1465-monsieur} was not unhappy , nor much afraid , yet [I]_{1465-monsieur} wept . "_{[1465-monsieur]} [Allons]_322-allons , [allons]_2368-allons ! " said [he]_0-i presently , looking round and seeing the deluge universal . "_[322-allons] Decidedly [I]_0-i am [a monster]_{2369-a monster} and [a ruffian]_{2370-a ruffian} . [I]_0-i have only one pocket - handkerchief , " [he]_0-i added , "_[0-i] but if [I]_0-i had twenty , [I]_0-i would offer [you]_2371-your each one . [[Your]_2371-your teacher]_{2372-your teacher} shall be [[your]_2371-your representative]_{2373-your representative} . Here , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy . " And [he]_0-i took forth and held out to [me]_142-lucy a clean silk handkerchief . Now [a person who did not know [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , who was unused to [him]_0-i and [his]_0-i impulses]_{6082-a person who did not know m. paul , who was unused to him and his impulses} , would naturally have bungled at this offer - declined accepting the same - et cetera . But [I]_142-lucy too plainly felt this would never do : the slightest hesitation would have been fatal to the incipient treaty of peace . [I]_142-lucy rose and met the handkerchief half - way , received it with decorum , wiped therewith [my]_142-lucy eyes , and , resuming [my]_142-lucy seat , and retaining the flag of truce in [my]_142-lucy hand and on [my]_142-lucy lap , took especial care during the remainder of the lesson to touch neither needle nor thimble , scissors nor muslin . Many a jealous glance did [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} cast at these implements ; [he]_0-i hated them mortally , considering sewing a source of distraction from the attention due to [himself]_0-i . A very eloquent lesson [he]_0-i gave , and very kind and friendly was [he]_0-i to the close . Ere [he]_0-i had done , the clouds were dispersed and the sun shining out - tears were exchanged for smiles . In quitting [the room]_{600-the room} [he]_0-i paused once more at [my]_142-lucy desk . "_[142-lucy] And [your]_2374-you letter ? " said [he]_0-i , this time not quite fiercely . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have not yet read it , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} Ah ! it is too good to read at once ; [you]_2374-you save it , as , when [I]_0-i was [a boy]_{4374-a boy} , [I]_0-i used to save a peach whose bloom was very ripe ? " The guess came so near the truth , [I]_2374-you could not prevent a suddenly- rising warmth in [my]_2374-you face from revealing as much . "_[2374-you] [You]_2374-you promise [yourself]_2374-you a pleasant moment , " said [he]_0-i , "_[2374-you] in reading that letter ; [you]_2374-you will open it when alone - n'est - ce pas ? Ah ! a smile answers . Well , well ! one should not be too harsh ; ' la jeunesse n'a qu'un temps . ' " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [Monsieur]_{2378-monsieur} ! " [I]_{2378-monsieur} cried , or rather whispered after [him]_0-i , as [he]_0-i turned to go , "_{[2378-monsieur]} do not leave [me]_0-i under a mistake . This is merely [a friend]_{1797-a friend} 's letter . Without reading it , [I]_0-i can vouch for that . " "_[0-i] Je concois , je concois : on sait ce que c'est qu'un ami . Bonjour , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} ! " "_{[261-mademoiselle]} But , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , here is [your]_{1465-monsieur} handkerchief . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} Keep it , keep it , till the letter is read , then bring it [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i shall read the billet 's tenor in [your]_{1465-monsieur} eyes . " When [he]_0-i was gone , [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} having already poured out of [the schoolroom]_{5162-the schoolroom} into [the berceau]_{4908-the berceau} , and thence into [the garden]_{1165-the garden} and [court]_1615-court to take [their]_{1102-the pupils} customary recreation before the five - o'clock dinner , [I]_0-i stood a moment thinking , and absently twisting the handkerchief round [my]_0-i arm . For some reason - gladdened , [I]_0-i think , by a sudden return of the golden glimmer of childhood , roused by an unwonted renewal of its buoyancy , made merry by the liberty of the closing hour , and , above all , solaced at heart by the joyous consciousness of that treasure in the case , box , drawer up - stairs , - [I]_0-i fell to playing with the handkerchief as if it were a ball , casting it into the air and catching it - as it fell . The game was stopped by another hand than [mine]_0-i - a hand emerging from a paletot - sleeve and stretched over [my]_0-i shoulder ; it caught the extemporised plaything and bore it away with these sullen words : "_[0-i] Je vois bien que vous vous moquez de moi et de mes effets . " Really [that little man]_{6089-that little man} was dreadful : [a mere sprite of caprice and , ubiquity]_{6090-a mere sprite of caprice and , ubiquity} : [one]_607-one never knew either [his]_607-one whim or [his]_607-one whereabout . CHAPTER XXII . THE LETTER . When all was still in [the house]_{518-the house} ; when dinner was over and the noisy recreation - hour past ; when darkness had set in , and the quiet lamp of study was lit in [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory} ; when [the externes]_{1095-the externes} were gone [home]_542-home , the clashing door and clamorous bell hushed for the evening ; when [Madame]_320-madame was safely settled in the salle - a - manger in company with [[her]_320-madame mother]_{550-her mother} and [some friends]_{4334-some friends} ; [I]_0-i then glided to [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen} , begged a bougie for one half - hour for a particular occasion , found acceptance of [my]_0-i petition at the hands of [[my]_0-i friend]_{801-my friend} [Goton]_276-goton , who answered , "_[0-i] Mais certainement , chou - chou , vous en aurez deux , si vous voulez ; " and , light in hand , [I]_0-i mounted noiseless to [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} . Great was [my]_0-i chagrin to find in [that apartment]_{6101-that apartment} [a pupil]_{4902-a pupil} gone to bed indisposed , - greater when [I]_0-i recognised , amid the muslin nightcap borders , the "_[0-i] figure chiffonnee " of [Mistress Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ; supine at this moment , it is true - but certain to wake and overwhelm [me]_318-timon with chatter when the interruption would be least acceptable : indeed , as [I]_318-timon watched [her]_{4902-a pupil} , a slight twinkling of the eyelids warned [me]_318-timon that the present appearance of repose might be but a ruse , assumed to cover sly vigilance over "_[318-timon] [Timon]_318-timon 's " movements ; [she]_{4902-a pupil} was not to be trusted . And [I]_318-timon had so wished to be alone , just to read [my]_318-timon precious letter in peace . Well , [I]_318-timon must go to the classes . Having sought and found [my]_318-timon prize in its casket , [I]_318-timon descended . Ill - luck pursued [me]_318-timon . [The classes]_{4828-the classes} were undergoing sweeping and purification by candle - light , according to hebdomadal custom : benches were piled on desks , the air was dim with dust , damp coffee - grounds used by [Labassecourien housemaids]_{6104-labassecourien housemaids} instead of tea - leaves darkened the floor ; all was hopeless confusion . Baffled , but not beaten , [I]_318-timon withdrew , bent as resolutely as ever on finding solitude somewhere . Taking a key whereof [I]_318-timon knew [the repository]_{6105-the repository} , [I]_318-timon mounted three staircases in succession , reached [a dark , narrow , silent landing]_{6106-a dark , narrow , silent landing} , opened a worm- eaten door , and dived into the deep , black , cold garret . [Here]_4212-here [none]_4383-none would follow [me]_318-timon - none interrupt - not [Madame]_320-madame [herself]_320-madame . [I]_318-timon shut the garret - door ; [I]_318-timon placed [my]_318-timon light on a doddered and mouldy chest of drawers ; [I]_318-timon put on a shawl , for the air was ice - cold ; [I]_318-timon took [my]_318-timon letter ; trembling with sweet impatience , [I]_318-timon broke its seal . "_[318-timon] Will it be long - will it be short ? " thought [I]_318-timon , passing [my]_318-timon hand across [my]_318-timon eyes to dissipate the silvery dimness of a suave , south - wind shower . It was long . "_[318-timon] Will it be cool ? - will it be kind ? " It was kind . To [my]_318-timon checked , bridled , disciplined expectation , it seemed very kind : to [my]_318-timon longing and famished thought it seemed , perhaps , kinder than it was . So little had [I]_318-timon hoped , so much had [I]_318-timon feared ; there was a fulness of delight in this taste of fruition - such , perhaps , as many [a human being]_{5431-a human being} passes through life without ever knowing . [The poor English teacher in [the frosty garret]_{6111-the frosty garret}]_{6110-the poor english teacher in the frosty garret} , reading by a dim candle guttering in the wintry air , a letter simply good - natured - nothing more ; though that good - nature then seemed to [me]_318-timon godlike - was happier than most queens in [palaces]_6112-palaces . Of course , happiness of such shallow origin could be but brief ; yet , while it lasted it was genuine and exquisite : a bubble - but a sweet bubble - of real honey - dew . [Dr. John]_135-graham had written to [me]_318-timon at length ; [he]_135-graham had written to [me]_318-timon with pleasure ; [he]_135-graham had written with benignant mood , dwelling with sunny satisfaction on scenes that had passed before [his]_135-graham eyes and [mine]_318-timon , - on places [we]_6113-we had visited together - on conversations [we]_6113-we had held - on all the little subject - matter , in short , of the last few halcyon weeks . But the cordial core of the delight was , a conviction the blithe , genial language generously imparted , that it had been poured out not merely to content [me]_318-timon - but to gratify [himself]_135-graham . A gratification [he]_135-graham might never more desire , never more seek - an hypothesis in every point of view approaching the certain ; but that concerned the future . This present moment had no pain , no blot , no want ; full , pure , perfect , it deeply blessed [me]_318-timon . A passing seraph seemed to have rested beside [me]_318-timon , leaned towards [my]_318-timon heart , and reposed on its throb a softening , cooling , healing , hallowing wing . [Dr. John]_135-graham , [you]_135-graham pained [me]_318-timon afterwards : forgiven be every ill - freely forgiven - for the sake of that one dear remembered good ! Are there wicked things , not human , which envy human bliss ? Are there evil influences haunting the air , and poisoning it for [man]_618-man ? What was near [me]_318-timon ? Something in [that vast solitary garret]_{6115-that vast solitary garret} sounded strangely . Most surely and certainly [I]_318-timon heard , as it seemed , a stealthy foot on that floor : a sort of gliding out from the direction of the black recess haunted by the malefactor cloaks . [I]_318-timon turned : [my]_318-timon light was dim ; [the room]_{600-the room} was long - but as [I]_318-timon live ! [I]_318-timon saw in the middle of [that ghostly chamber]_{6117-that ghostly chamber} [a figure all black and white]_{6118-a figure all black and white} ; the skirts straight , narrow , black ; the head bandaged , veiled , white . Say what [you]_135-graham will , [reader]_4604-reader - tell [me]_318-timon [I]_318-timon was nervous or mad ; affirm that [I]_318-timon was unsettled by the excitement of that letter ; declare that [I]_318-timon dreamed ; this [I]_318-timon vow - [I]_318-timon saw there - in [that room]_{613-that room} - on that night - an image like - [a NUN]_{6121-a nun} . [I]_318-timon cried out ; [I]_318-timon sickened . Had the shape approached [me]_318-timon [I]_318-timon might have swooned . It receded : [I]_318-timon made for the door . How [I]_318-timon descended all the stairs [I]_318-timon know not . By instinct [I]_318-timon shunned the refectory , and shaped [my]_318-timon course to [[Madame]_320-madame 's sitting - room]_{5973-madame 's sitting - room} : [I]_318-timon burst in . [I]_318-timon said - "_[318-timon] There is something in [the grenier]_{2381-the grenier} ; [I]_0-i have been [there]_512-there : [I]_0-i saw something . Go and look at it , all of [you]_2383-i ! " [I]_2383-i said , "_[2383-i] All of [you]_2383-i ; " for [the room]_{600-the room} seemed to [me]_2383-i full of [people]_531-people , though in truth there were but four present : [Madame Beck]_190-madame ; [[her]_190-madame mother]_{550-her mother} , [Madame Kint]_{323-madame kint} , who was out of health , and now staying with [her]_{323-madame kint} on a visit ; [[her]_190-madame brother]_{6126-her brother} , [M. Victor Kint]_{324-m. victor kint} , and [another gentleman , who , when [I]_2383-i entered [the room]_{600-the room}]_{6127-another gentleman , who , when i entered the room} , was conversing with [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} , and had [his]_{6127-another gentleman , who , when i entered the room} back towards the door . [My]_2383-i mortal fear and faintness must have made [me]_2383-i deadly pale . [I]_2383-i felt cold and shaking . [They]_2383-i all rose in consternation ; [they]_2383-i surrounded [me]_2383-i . [I]_2383-i urged [them]_2383-i to go to [the grenier]_{2381-the grenier} ; the sight of [the gentlemen]_{6131-the gentlemen} did [me]_2383-i good and gave [me]_2383-i courage : it seemed as if there were some help and hope , with [men at hand]_{6132-men at hand} . [I]_2383-i turned to the door , beckoning [them]_2383-i to follow . [They]_2383-i wanted to stop [me]_2383-i , but [I]_2383-i said [they]_2383-i must come this way : [they]_2383-i must see what [I]_2383-i had seen - -something strange , standing in the middle of [the garret]_{5311-the garret} . And , now , [I]_2383-i remembered [my]_2383-i letter , left on the drawers with the light . This precious letter ! Flesh or spirit must be defied for its sake . [I]_2383-i flew up - [stairs]_593-stairs , hastening the faster as [I]_2383-i knew [I]_2383-i was followed : [they]_2383-i were obliged to come . [Lo]_325-lo ! when [I]_2383-i reached the garret - door , all within was dark as a pit : the light was out . [Happily]_326-happily [some one]_{1654-some one} - [Madame]_{323-madame kint} , [I]_2383-i think , with [her]_{323-madame kint} usual calm sense - had brought a lamp from [the room]_{600-the room} ; speedily , therefore , as [they]_2383-i came up , a ray pierced the opaque blackness . There stood the bougie quenched on the drawers ; but where was the letter ? And [I]_2383-i looked for that now , and not for [the nun]_{1581-the nun} . "_[2383-i] [My]_0-i letter ! [my]_0-i letter ! " [I]_2383-i panted and plained , almost beside [myself]_2383-i . [I]_2383-i groped on the floor , wringing [my]_2383-i hands wildly . Cruel , cruel doom ! To have [my]_2383-i bit of comfort preternaturally snatched from [me]_2383-i , ere [I]_2383-i had well tasted its virtue ! [I]_2383-i do n't know what [the others]_{5058-the others} were doing ; [I]_2383-i could not watch [them]_{5058-the others} : [they]_{5058-the others} asked [me]_2383-i questions [I]_2383-i did not answer ; [they]_{5058-the others} ransacked all corners ; [they]_{5058-the others} prattled about this and that disarrangement of cloaks , a breach or crack in the sky - light - [I]_2383-i know not what . "_[2383-i] Something or [somebody]_{4307-somebody} has been [here]_4212-here , " was sagely averred . "_{[4307-somebody]} Oh ! [they]_2386-they have taken [my]_0-i letter ! " cried [the grovelling , groping , monomaniac]_{6139-the grovelling , groping , monomaniac} . "_[2386-they] What letter , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? [[My]_0-i dear girl]_{817-my dear girl} , what letter ? " asked a known voice in [my]_0-i ear . Could [I]_0-i believe that ear ? No : and [I]_0-i looked up . Could [I]_0-i trust [my]_0-i eyes ? Had [I]_0-i recognised the tone ? Did [I]_0-i now look on the face of [the writer of that very letter]_{6140-the writer of that very letter} ? Was [this gentleman near [me]_0-i in [this dim garret]_{6142-this dim garret}]_{6141-this gentleman near me in this dim garret} , [John Graham]_135-graham - [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham [himself]_135-graham ? Yes : it was . [He]_135-graham had been called in that very evening to prescribe for some access of illness in old [Madame Kint]_{323-madame kint} ; [he]_135-graham was [the second gentleman present in the salle - a - manger]_{6143-the second gentleman present in the salle - a - manger} when [I]_0-i entered . "_[0-i] Was it [my]_0-i letter , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? " "_[142-lucy] [Your]_142-lucy own : [yours]_142-lucy - the letter [you]_142-lucy wrote to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had come here to read it quietly . [I]_0-i could not find another spot where it was possible to have it to [myself]_0-i . [I]_0-i had saved it all day - never opened it till this evening : it was scarcely glanced over : [I]_0-i can not bear to lose it . Oh , [my]_0-i letter ! " "_[0-i] Hush ! do n't cry and distress [yourself]_142-lucy so cruelly . What is it worth ? [Hush]_327-hush ! Come out of [this cold room]_{2388-this cold room} ; [they]_2389-they are going to send for [the police]_{1066-the police} now to examine further : [we]_2391-we need not stay here - come , [we]_2391-we will go down . " A warm hand , taking [my]_0-i cold fingers , led [me]_0-i down to [a room where there was a fire]_{6144-a room where there was a fire} . [Dr. John]_135-graham and [I]_0-i sat before the stove . [He]_135-graham talked to [me]_0-i and soothed [me]_0-i with unutterable goodness , promising [me]_0-i twenty letters for the one lost . If there are words and wrongs like knives , whose deep- inflicted lacerations never heal - cutting injuries and insults of serrated and poison - dripping edge - so , too , there are consolations of tone too fine for the ear not fondly and for ever to retain their echo : caressing kindnesses - loved , lingered over through a whole life , recalled with unfaded tenderness , and answering the call with undimmed shine , out of that raven cloud foreshadowing Death [himself]_135-graham . [I]_0-i have been told since that [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham was not nearly so perfect as [I]_0-i thought [him]_135-graham : that [his]_135-graham actual character lacked the depth , height , compass , and endurance it possessed in [my]_0-i creed . [I]_0-i do n't know : [he]_135-graham was as good to [me]_0-i as the well is to the parched wayfarer - as the sun to [the shivering jailbird]_{6145-the shivering jailbird} . [I]_0-i remember [him]_135-graham heroic . [Heroic]_328-heroic at this moment will [I]_0-i hold [him]_135-graham to be . [He]_135-graham asked [me]_0-i , smiling , why [I]_0-i cared for [his]_135-graham letter so very much . [I]_0-i thought , but did not say , that [I]_0-i prized it like the blood in [my]_0-i veins . [I]_0-i only answered that [I]_0-i had so few letters to care for . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am sure [you]_2392-you did not read it , " said [he]_135-graham ; "_[2392-you] or [you]_2392-you would think nothing of it ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i read it , but only once . [I]_0-i want to read it again . [I]_0-i am sorry it is lost . " And [I]_142-lucy could not help weeping afresh . "_[142-lucy] [Lucy]_142-lucy , [Lucy]_142-lucy , [[my]_0-i poor little god - sister]_{2393-my poor little god - sister} if there be such a relationship , here - here is [your]_2392-you letter . Why is it not better worth such tears , and such tenderly exaggerating faith ? " Curious , characteristic manoeuvre ! [His]_135-graham quick eye had seen the letter on the floor where [I]_2392-you sought it ; [his]_135-graham hand , as quick , had snatched it up . [He]_135-graham had hidden it in [his]_135-graham waistcoat pocket . If [my]_2392-you trouble had wrought with a whit less stress and reality , [I]_2392-you doubt whether [he]_135-graham would ever have acknowledged or restored it . Tears of temperature one degree cooler than those [I]_2392-you shed would only have amused [Dr. John]_135-graham . Pleasure at regaining made [me]_2392-you forget merited reproach for the teasing torment ; [my]_2392-you joy was great ; it could not be concealed : yet [I]_2392-you think it broke out more in countenance than language . [I]_2392-you said little . "_[2392-you] Are [you]_2392-you satisfied now ? " asked [Dr. John]_135-graham . [I]_2392-you replied that [I]_2392-you was - satisfied and happy . "_[2392-you] Well then , " [he]_135-graham proceeded , "_[2392-you] how do [you]_2392-you feel physically ? Are [you]_2392-you growing calmer ? Not much : for [you]_2392-you tremble like a leaf still . " It seemed to [me]_2392-you , however , that [I]_2392-you was sufficiently calm : at least [I]_2392-you felt no longer terrified . [I]_2392-you expressed [myself]_2392-you composed . "_[2392-you] [You]_2392-you are able , consequently , to tell [me]_0-i what [you]_2392-you saw ? [Your]_2392-you account was quite vague , do [you]_2392-you know ? [You]_2392-you looked white as the wall ; but [you]_2392-you only spoke of ' something , ' not defining what . Was it [a man]_{823-a man} ? Was it an animal ? What was it ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i never will tell exactly what [I]_0-i saw , " said [I]_0-i , "_[0-i] unless [some one else]_{2395-some one else} sees it too , and then [I]_0-i will give corroborative testimony ; but otherwise , [I]_0-i shall be discredited and accused of dreaming . " "_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i , " said [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will hear it in [my]_0-i professional character : [I]_0-i look on [you]_2392-you now from a professional point of view , and [I]_0-i read , perhaps , all [you]_2392-you would conceal - in [your]_2392-you eye , which is curiously vivid and restless : in [your]_2392-you cheek , which the blood has forsaken ; in [your]_2392-you hand , which [you]_2392-you can not steady . Come , [Lucy]_142-lucy , speak and tell [me]_0-i . " "_[142-lucy] [You]_0-i would laugh - ? " "_[0-i] If [you]_0-i do n't tell [me]_0-i [you]_0-i shall have no more letters . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i are laughing now . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will again take away that single epistle : being [mine]_0-i , [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i have a right to reclaim it . " [I]_0-i felt raillery in [his]_0-i words : it made [me]_0-i grave and quiet ; but [I]_0-i folded up the letter and covered it from sight . "_[0-i] [You]_2392-you may hide it , but [I]_0-i can possess it any moment [I]_0-i choose . [You]_2392-you do n't know [my]_0-i skill in sleight of hand ; [I]_0-i might practise as [a conjuror]_{5890-a conjuror} if [I]_0-i liked . [Mamma]_150-mamma says sometimes , too , that [I]_0-i have a harmonizing property of tongue and eye ; but [you]_2392-you never saw that in [me]_0-i - did [you]_2392-you , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? " "_[2392-you] Indeed - indeed - when [you]_2392-you were [a mere boy]_{2397-a mere boy} [I]_0-i used to see both : far more then than now - for now [you]_2392-you are strong , and strength dispenses with subtlety . But still , - [Dr. John]_135-graham , [you]_2392-you have what [they]_2398-they call in [this country]_{1824-this country} ' un air fin , ' that [nobody]_4256-nobody can , mistake . [Madame Beck]_190-madame saw it , and - - " "_[190-madame] And liked it , " said [he]_0-i , laughing , "_[190-madame] because [she]_190-madame has it [herself]_190-madame . But , [Lucy]_142-lucy , give [me]_0-i that letter - [you]_142-lucy do n't really care for it " To this provocative speech [I]_142-lucy made no answer . [Graham]_135-graham in mirthful mood must not be humoured too far . Just now there was a new sort of smile playing about [his]_0-i lips - very sweet , but it grieved [me]_142-lucy somehow - a new sort of light sparkling in [his]_0-i eyes : not hostile , but not reassuring . [I]_142-lucy rose to go - [I]_142-lucy bid [him]_0-i good - night a little sadly . [His]_0-i sensitiveness - that peculiar , apprehensive , detective faculty of [his]_0-i - felt in a moment the unspoken complaint - the scarce - thought reproach . [He]_0-i asked quietly if [I]_142-lucy was offended . [I]_142-lucy shook [my]_142-lucy head as implying a negative . "_[142-lucy] Permit [me]_0-i , then , to speak a little seriously to [you]_142-lucy before [you]_142-lucy go . [You]_142-lucy are in a highly nervous state . [I]_0-i feel sure from what is apparent in [your]_142-lucy look and manner , however well controlled , that whilst alone this evening in [that dismal , perishing sepulchral garret]_{2401-that dismal , perishing sepulchral garret} - [that dungeon under the leads , smelling of damp and mould , rank with phthisis and catarrh]_{2402-that dungeon under the leads , smelling of damp and mould , rank with phthisis and catarrh} : [a place [you]_142-lucy never ought to enter]_{2403-a place you never ought to enter} - that [you]_142-lucy saw , or thought [you]_142-lucy saw , some appearance peculiarly calculated to impress the imagination . [I]_0-i know that [you]_142-lucy are not , nor ever were , subject to material terrors , fears of [robbers]_2404-robbers , c. - [I]_0-i am not so sure that [a visitation , bearing a spectral character]_{2405-a visitation , bearing a spectral character} , would not shake [your]_142-lucy very mind . Be calm now . This is all a matter of the nerves , [I]_0-i see : but just specify the vision . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i will tell [nobody]_4256-nobody ? " "_{[4256-nobody]} [Nobody]_4256-nobody - most certainly . [You]_142-lucy may trust [me]_0-i as implicitly as [you]_142-lucy did [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} . Indeed , [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} is perhaps [the safer confessor of [the two]_{4317-the two}]_{2409-the safer confessor of the two} , though [he]_{4288-the doctor} has not grey hair . " "_{[4288-the doctor]} [You]_0-i will not laugh ? " "_[0-i] Perhaps [I]_0-i may , to do [you]_142-lucy good : but not in scorn . [Lucy]_142-lucy , [I]_0-i feel as a friend towards [you]_142-lucy , though [your]_142-lucy timid nature is slow to trust . " [He]_0-i now looked like [a friend]_{1797-a friend} : that indescribable smile and sparkle were gone ; those formidable arched curves of lip , nostril , eyebrow , were depressed ; repose marked [his]_0-i attitude - attention sobered [his]_0-i aspect . Won to confidence , [I]_2411-i told [him]_0-i exactly what [I]_2411-i had seen : ere now [I]_2411-i had narrated to [him]_0-i the legend of [the house]_{518-the house} - whiling away with that narrative an hour of a certain mild October afternoon , when be and [I]_2411-i rode through [Bois l'Etang]_{81-bois l'etang} . [He]_0-i sat and thought , and while [he]_0-i thought , [we]_6148-we heard [them]_2411-i all coming down - [stairs]_593-stairs . "_[2411-i] Are [they]_2411-i going to interrupt ? " said [he]_0-i , glancing at the door with an annoyed expression . "_[2411-i] [They]_2411-i will not come [here]_4212-here , " [I]_2411-i answered ; for [we]_6148-we were in [the little salon where [Madame]_190-madame never sat in the evening , and where it was by mere chance that heat was still lingering in the stove]_{6150-the little salon where madame never sat in the evening , and where it was by mere chance that heat was still lingering in the stove} . [They]_2411-i passed the door and went on to [the salle -]_{1200-the salle -} [a - manger]_{6152-a - manger} . "_[2411-i] Now , " [he]_0-i pursued , "_[2411-i] [they]_2411-i will talk about [thieves]_5160-thieves , [burglars]_{5810-burglars} , and so on : let [them]_2411-i do so - mind [you]_2415-you say nothing , and keep [your]_2415-you resolution of describing [[your]_2415-you nun]_{2416-your nun} to [nobody]_4256-nobody . [She]_{2416-your nun} may appear to [you]_2415-you again : do n't start . " "_{[2416-your nun]} [You]_2418-i think then , " [I]_2418-i said , with secret horror , ' [she]_{2416-your nun} came out of [my]_2418-i brain , and is now gone in [there]_512-there , and may glide out again at an hour and a day when [I]_2418-i look not for [her]_{2416-your nun} ? "_[2418-i] " [I]_{2416-your nun} think it a case of spectral illusion : [I]_{2416-your nun} fear , following on and resulting from long - continued mental conflict . "_{[2416-your nun]} " Oh , [Doctor John]_{329-doctor john} - [I]_2418-i shudder at the thought of being liable to such an illusion ! It seemed so real . Is there no cure ? - no preventive ? "_[2418-i] " [Happiness]_{330-happiness} is the cure - a cheerful mind the preventive : cultivate both . "_{[2416-your nun]} No mockery in [this world]_{4390-this world} ever sounds to [me]_0-i so hollow as that of being told to cultivate happiness . What does such advice mean ? Happiness is not a potato , to be planted in mould , and tilled with manure . Happiness is a glory shining far down upon [us]_2420-us out of [Heaven]_1614-heaven . [She]_2422-she is a divine dew which the soul , on certain of its summer mornings , feels dropping upon [it]_2423-it from the amaranth bloom and golden fruitage of Paradise . " Cultivate happiness ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said briefly to [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} : " do [you]_{4288-the doctor} cultivate happiness ? How do [you]_{4288-the doctor} manage ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i am [a cheerful fellow by nature]_{6154-a cheerful fellow by nature} : and then ill - luck has never dogged [me]_0-i . Adversity gave [me]_0-i and [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} one passing scowl and brush , but [we]_2420-us defied [her]_{4268-my mother} , or rather laughed at [her]_{4268-my mother} , and [she]_{4268-my mother} went by . "_[0-i] . " There is no cultivation in all this . "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i do not give way to melancholy . "_[0-i] " Yes : [I]_0-i have seen [you]_{4288-the doctor} subdued by that feeling . "_[0-i] " About [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra - eh ? "_[0-i] " Did [she]_179-ginevra not sometimes make [you]_2426-you miserable ? "_[0-i] " Pooh ! stuff ! nonsense ! [You]_{4288-the doctor} see [I]_0-i am better now . "_[0-i] If [a laughing eye with a lively light , and a face bright with beaming and healthy energy]_{2425-a laughing eye with a lively light , and a face bright with beaming and healthy energy} , could attest that [he]_2426-you was better , better [he]_2426-you certainly was . " [You]_2426-you do not look much amiss , or greatly out of condition , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i allowed . " And why , [Lucy]_142-lucy , ca n't [you]_142-lucy look and feel as [I]_0-i do - buoyant , courageous , and fit to defy all the nuns and flirts in [Christendom]_{55-christendom} ? [I]_0-i would give gold on the spot just to see [you]_142-lucy snap [your]_142-lucy fingers . Try the manoeuvre . "_[0-i] " If [I]_0-i were to bring [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra into [your]_{4288-the doctor} presence just now ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i vow , [Lucy]_142-lucy , [she]_179-ginevra should not move [me]_0-i : or , [she]_179-ginevra should move [me]_0-i but by one thing - true , yes , and passionate love . [I]_0-i would accord forgiveness at no less a price . "_[0-i] " Indeed ! a smile of hers would have been a fortune to [you]_2427-his a while since . "_[0-i] " Transformed , [Lucy]_142-lucy : transformed ! Remember , [you]_{4288-the doctor} once called [me]_2427-his [a slave]_{5763-a slave} ! but [I]_2427-his am [a free man]_{6157-a free man} now ! "_[2427-his] [He]_2427-his stood up : in the port of [his]_2427-his head , the carriage of [his]_2427-his figure , in [his]_2427-his beaming eye and mien , there revealed itself a liberty which was more than ease - a mood which was disdain of [his]_2427-his past bondage . " [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , "_[2427-his] [he]_2427-his pursued , " has led [me]_2427-his through a phase of feeling which is over : [I]_2427-his have entered another condition , and am now much disposed to exact love for love - passion for passion - and good measure of it , too . "_[2427-his] " Ah , [Doctor]_6158-doctor ! [Doctor]_6158-doctor ! [you]_6158-doctor said it was [your]_6158-doctor nature to pursue Love under difficulties - to be charmed by a proud insensibility ! "_[2427-his] . [He]_2427-his laughed , and answered , " [My]_2427-his nature varies : the mood of one hour is sometimes the mockery of the next . Well , [Lucy]_142-lucy "_[2427-his] drawing on [his]_2427-his gloves , " will [the Nun]_{1581-the nun} come again to - night , think [you]_6158-doctor ? "_[2427-his] " [I]_2427-his do n't think [she]_{1581-the nun} will . "_[2427-his] " Give [her]_{1581-the nun} [my]_2427-his compliments , if [she]_{1581-the nun} does - [Dr. John]_135-graham 's compliments - and entreat [her]_{1581-the nun} to have the goodness to wait a visit from [him]_135-graham . [Lucy]_142-lucy , was [she]_{1581-the nun} [a pretty nun]_{6161-a pretty nun} ? Had [she]_{1581-the nun} a pretty face ? [You]_142-lucy have not told [me]_2427-his that yet ; and that is the really important point . "_[2427-his] " [She]_{1581-the nun} had a white cloth over [her]_{1581-the nun} face , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , " but [her]_{1581-the nun} eyes glittered . "_[0-i] " Confusion to [her]_{1581-the nun} goblin trappings ! "_[2428-he] cried [he]_2428-he , irreverently : " but at least [she]_{1581-the nun} had handsome eyes - bright and soft . "_[2428-he] " Cold and fixed , "_[2427-his] was the reply . " No , no , [we]_6162-we 'll none of [her]_{1581-the nun} : [she]_{1581-the nun} shall not haunt [you]_0-i , [Lucy]_142-lucy . Give [her]_{1581-the nun} that shake of the hand , if [she]_{1581-the nun} comes again . Will [she]_{1581-the nun} stand that , do [you]_0-i think ? "_[2427-his] [I]_0-i thought it too kind and cordial for [a ghost]_{5524-a ghost} to stand : and so was the smile which matched it , and accompanied [his]_2428-he " Good - night . "_[2428-he] And had there been anything in [the garret]_{5311-the garret} ? What did [they]_2431-they discover ? [I]_0-i believe , on the closest examination , [their]_2431-they discoveries amounted to very little . [They]_2431-they talked , at first , of the cloaks being disturbed ; but [Madame Beck]_190-madame told [me]_0-i afterwards [she]_190-madame thought they hung much as usual : and as for the broken pane in the skylight , [she]_190-madame affirmed that aperture was rarely without one or more panes broken or cracked : and besides , a heavy hail - storm had fallen a few days ago . [Madame]_190-madame questioned [me]_0-i very closely as to what [I]_0-i had seen , but [I]_0-i only described [an obscure figure clothed in black]_{2432-an obscure figure clothed in black} : [I]_0-i took care not to breathe the word " [nun]_6163-nun , "_[0-i] certain that this word would at once suggest to [her]_190-madame mind an idea of romance and unreality . [She]_190-madame charged [me]_0-i to say nothing on the subject to [any servant]_{2433-any servant} , [pupil]_2434-pupil , or [teacher]_2435-teacher , and highly commended [my]_0-i discretion in coming to [[her]_190-madame private salle - [a - manger]_{6152-a - manger}]_{2436-her private salle - a - manger} , instead of carrying the tale of horror to [the school refectory]_{2438-the school refectory} . Thus the subject dropped . [I]_0-i was left secretly and sadly to wonder , in [my]_0-i own mind , whether that strange thing was of [this world]_{4390-this world} , or of [a realm beyond the grave]_{2440-a realm beyond the grave} ; or whether indeed it was only [the child of malady]_{2441-the child of malady} , and [I]_0-i of [that malady]_{2442-that malady} [the prey]_{2443-the prey} . CHAPTER XXIII . [VASHTI]_331-vashti . To wonder sadly , did [I]_0-i say ? No : a new influence began to act upon [my]_0-i life , and sadness , for a certain space , was held at bay . Conceive [a dell , deep - hollowed in [forest secresy]_{2445-forest secresy}]_{2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy} ; [it]_{2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy} lies in dimness and mist : [its]_{2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy} turf is dank , [its]_{2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy} herbage pale and humid . A storm or an axe makes a wide gap amongst the oak - trees ; the breeze sweeps in ; the sun looks down ; [the sad , cold dell]_{2446-the sad , cold dell} becomes a deep cup of lustre ; high summer pours [her]_{2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy} blue glory and [her]_{2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy} golden light out of that beauteous sky , which till now [the starved hollow]_{2447-the starved hollow} never saw . A new creed became [mine]_0-i - a belief in happiness . It was three weeks since the adventure of the garret , and [I]_0-i possessed in that case , box , [drawer up - stairs]_{2448-drawer up - stairs} , casketed with that first letter , four companions like to it , traced by the same firm pen , sealed with the same clear seal , full of the same vital comfort . Vital comfort it seemed to [me]_0-i then : [I]_0-i read them in after years ; they were kind letters enough - pleasing letters , because composed by one well pleased ; in the two last there were three or four closing lines half - gay , half - tender , " by feeling touched , but not subdued . "_{[2449-dear reader]} Time , [dear reader]_{2449-dear reader} , mellowed them to a beverage of this mild quality ; but when [I]_0-i first tasted [their]_2450-their elixir , fresh from the fount so honoured , it seemed juice of a divine vintage : a draught which [Hebe]_332-hebe might fill , and [the very gods]_{2451-the very gods} approve . Does [the reader]_{759-the reader} , remembering what was said some pages back , care to ask how [I]_0-i answered these letters : whether under the dry , stinting check of Reason , or according to the full , liberal impulse of Feeling ? To speak truth , [I]_0-i compromised matters ; [I]_0-i served [two masters]_{2453-two masters} : [I]_0-i bowed down in [the houses of [Rimmon]_82-rimmon]_{2454-the houses of rimmon} , and lifted the heart at [another shrine]_{2455-another shrine} . [I]_0-i wrote to these letters two answers - one for [my]_0-i own relief , the other for [Graham]_135-graham 's perusal . To begin with : Feeling and [I]_0-i turned [Reason]_315-reason out of doors , drew against [her]_315-reason bar and bolt , then [we]_2456-we sat down , spread [our]_2456-we paper , dipped in the ink an eager pen , and , with deep enjoyment , poured out [our]_2456-we sincere heart . When [we]_2456-we had done - when two sheets were covered with the language of a strongly - adherent affection , a rooted and active gratitude - once , for all , in this parenthesis , [I]_0-i disclaim , with the utmost scorn , every sneaking suspicion of what are called " warmer feelings : "_[4398-women] [women]_4398-women do not entertain these " warmer feelings "_[4398-women] where , from the commencement , through the whole progress of [an acquaintance]_{2171-an acquaintance} , [they]_4398-women have never once been cheated of the conviction that , to do so would be to commit a mortal absurdity : [nobody]_4256-nobody ever launches into Love unless [he]_4256-nobody has seen or dreamed the rising of [Hope]_186-hope 's star over Love 's troubled waters - when , then , [I]_0-i had given expression to a closely - clinging and deeply - honouring attachment - an attachment that wanted to attract to itself and take to its own lot all that was painful in the destiny of its object ; that would , if it could , have absorbed and conducted away all storms and lightnings from an existence viewed with a passion of solicitude - then , just at that moment , the doors of [my]_0-i heart would shake , bolt and bar would yield , [Reason]_315-reason would leap in vigorous and revengeful , snatch the full sheets , read , sneer , erase , tear up , re - write , fold , seal , direct , and send a terse , curt missive of a page . [She]_315-reason did right . [I]_0-i did not live on letters only : [I]_0-i was visited , [I]_0-i was looked after ; once a week [I]_0-i was taken out to [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} ; always [I]_0-i was made much of . [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham failed not to tell [me]_0-i why [he]_135-graham was so kind : " To keep away [the nun]_{1581-the nun} , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham said ; " [he]_135-graham was determined to dispute with [her]_{1581-the nun} [her]_{1581-the nun} prey . [He]_135-graham had taken , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham declared , " a thorough dislike to [her]_{1581-the nun} , chiefly on account of that white face - cloth , and those cold grey eyes : the moment [he]_135-graham heard of those odious particulars , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham affirmed , " consummate disgust had incited [him]_135-graham to oppose [her]_{1581-the nun} ; [he]_135-graham was determined to try whether [he]_6165-he or [she]_6166-she was the cleverest , and [he]_135-graham only wished [she]_{1581-the nun} would once more look in upon [me]_135-graham when [he]_135-graham was present : "_[135-graham] but that [she]_2460-she never did . In short , [he]_135-graham regarded [me]_0-i scientifically in the light of [a patient]_{1888-a patient} , and at once exercised [his]_135-graham professional skill , and gratified [his]_135-graham natural benevolence , by a course of cordial and attentive treatment . One evening , the first in December , [I]_0-i was walking by [myself]_0-i in [the carre]_{4820-the carre} ; it was six o'clock ; the classe - doors were closed ; but within , [the pupils , rampant in the licence of evening recreation]_{2463-the pupils , rampant in the licence of evening recreation} , were counterfeiting a miniature chaos . [The carre]_{4820-the carre} was quite dark , except a red light shining under and about the stove ; the wide glass - doors and the long windows were frosted over ; a crystal sparkle of starlight , here and there spangling this blanched winter veil , and breaking with scattered brilliance the paleness of [its]_{4820-the carre} embroidery , proved it a clear night , though moonless . That [I]_0-i should dare to remain thus alone in darkness , showed that [my]_0-i nerves were regaining a healthy tone : [I]_0-i thought of [the nun]_{1581-the nun} , but hardly feared [her]_{1581-the nun} ; though [the staircase]_{2466-the staircase} was behind [me]_0-i , leading up , through blind , black night , from landing to landing , to [the haunted grenier]_{2467-the haunted grenier} . Yet [I]_0-i own [my]_0-i heart quaked , [my]_0-i pulse leaped , when [I]_0-i suddenly heard breathing and rustling , and turning , saw in the deep shadow of the steps a deeper shadow still - a shape that moved and descended . It paused a while at the classe - door , and then it glided before [me]_0-i . Simultaneously came a clangor of the distant door- bell . Life - like sounds bring life - like feelings : this shape was too round and low for [[my]_0-i gaunt nun]_{2468-my gaunt nun} : it was only [Madame Beck]_190-madame on duty . " [Mademoiselle Lucy]_333-lucy ! "_[203-rosine] cried [Rosine]_203-rosine , bursting in , lamp in hand , from [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} , " on est la pour vous au salon . "_[190-madame] [Madame]_190-madame saw [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i saw [Madame]_190-madame , [Rosine]_203-rosine saw [us]_2470-us both : there was no mutual recognition . [I]_0-i made straight for [the salon]_{1040-the salon} . There [I]_0-i found what [I]_0-i own [I]_0-i anticipated [I]_0-i should find - [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham ; but [he]_135-graham was in evening - dress . " [The carriage]_{5783-the carriage} is at the door , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham ; " [[my]_135-graham mother]_{4268-my mother} has sent it to take [you]_0-i to [the theatre]_{6169-the theatre} ; [she]_{4268-my mother} was going [herself]_{4268-my mother} , but an arrival has prevented [her]_{4268-my mother} : [she]_{4268-my mother} immediately said , ' Take [Lucy]_333-lucy in [my]_135-graham place . ' Will [you]_0-i go ? "_[135-graham] " Just now ? [I]_0-i am not dressed , "_[0-i] cried [I]_0-i , glancing despairingly at [my]_0-i dark merino . " [You]_0-i have half an hour to dress . [I]_0-i should have given [you]_0-i notice , but [I]_0-i only determined on going since five o'clock , when [I]_0-i heard there was to be a genuine regale in the presence of [a great actress]_{6170-a great actress} . "_[0-i] And [he]_2472-he mentioned a name that thrilled [me]_0-i - a name that , in those days , could thrill [Europe]_17-europe . [It]_2473-it is hushed now : its once restless echoes are all still ; [she]_2474-her who bore it went years ago to [her]_2474-her rest : night and oblivion long since closed above [her]_2474-her ; but then [her]_2474-her day - a day of Sirius - stood at its full height , light and fervour . " [I]_0-i 'll go ; [I]_0-i will be ready in ten minutes , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i vowed . And away [I]_0-i flew , never once checked , [reader]_4604-reader , by the thought which perhaps at this moment checks [you]_4604-reader : namely , that to go anywhere with [Graham]_135-graham and without [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} could be objectionable . [I]_0-i could not have conceived , much less have expressed to [Graham]_135-graham , such thought - such scruple - without risk of exciting a tyrannous self - contempt : of kindling an inward fire of shame so quenchless , and so devouring , that [I]_0-i think it would soon have licked up the very life in [my]_0-i veins . Besides , [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} , knowing [[her]_{506-my godmother} son]_{532-her son} , and knowing [me]_0-i , would as soon have thought of chaperoning [a sister]_{1384-a sister} with [a brother]_{2479-a brother} , as of keeping anxious guard over [our]_2480-our incomings and outgoings . The present was no occasion for showy array ; [my]_0-i dun mist crape would suffice , and [I]_0-i sought the same in the great oak - wardrobe in [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} , where hung no less than forty dresses . But there had been changes and reforms , and [some innovating hand]_{2482-some innovating hand} had pruned [this same crowded wardrobe]_{2483-this same crowded wardrobe} , and carried divers garments to the grenier - [my]_0-i crape amongst the rest . [I]_0-i must fetch it . [I]_0-i got the key , and went aloft fearless , almost thoughtless . [I]_0-i unlocked the door , [I]_0-i plunged in . [The reader]_{759-the reader} may believe it or not , but when [I]_0-i thus suddenly entered , [that garret]_{2485-that garret} was not wholly dark as it should have been : from one point there shone a solemn light , like a star , but broader . So plainly it shone , that it revealed the deep alcove with a portion of the tarnished scarlet curtain drawn over it . Instantly , silently , before [my]_0-i eyes , it vanished ; so did the curtain and alcove : all that end of [the garret]_{5311-the garret} became black as night . [I]_0-i ventured no research ; [I]_0-i had not time nor will ; snatching [my]_0-i dress , which hung on the wall , happily near the door , [I]_0-i rushed out , relocked the door with convulsed haste , and darted downwards to [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} . But [I]_0-i trembled too much to dress [myself]_0-i : impossible to arrange hair or fasten hooks - and - eyes with such fingers , so [I]_0-i called [Rosine]_203-rosine and bribed [her]_203-rosine to help [me]_0-i . [Rosine]_203-rosine liked a bribe , so [she]_203-rosine did [her]_203-rosine best , smoothed and plaited [my]_0-i hair as well as a coiffeur would have done , placed the lace collar mathematically straight , tied the neck - ribbon accurately - in short , did [her]_203-rosine work like the neat - handed [Phillis]_334-phillis [she]_203-rosine could be when [she]_203-rosine those . Having given [me]_0-i [my]_0-i handkerchief and gloves , [she]_203-rosine took the candle and lighted [me]_0-i down - [stairs]_593-stairs . After all , [I]_0-i had forgotten [my]_0-i shawl ; [she]_203-rosine ran back to fetch it ; and [I]_0-i stood with [Dr. John]_135-graham in [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} , waiting . " What is this , [Lucy]_333-lucy ? "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham , looking down at [me]_0-i narrowly . " Here is the old excitement . Ha ! [the nun]_{1581-the nun} again ? "_[135-graham] But [I]_0-i utterly denied the charge : [I]_0-i was vexed to be suspected of a second illusion . [He]_135-graham was sceptical . " [She]_203-rosine has been , as sure as [I]_135-graham live , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham ; " [her]_203-rosine figure crossing [your]_0-i eyes leaves on them a peculiar gleam and expression not to be mistaken . "_[135-graham] " [She]_203-rosine has not been , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i persisted : for , indeed , [I]_0-i could deny [her]_203-rosine apparition with truth . " The old symptoms are there , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham affirmed : " a particular pale , and what [the Scotch]_{6172-the scotch} call a ' raised ' look . "_[135-graham] [He]_135-graham was so obstinate , [I]_0-i thought it better to tell [him]_135-graham what [I]_0-i really had seen . Of course with [him]_135-graham it was held to be another effect of the same cause : it was all optical illusion - nervous malady , and so on . Not one bit did [I]_0-i believe [him]_135-graham ; but [I]_0-i dared not contradict : [doctors]_2490-doctors are so self - opinionated , so immovable in [their]_2490-doctors dry , materialist views . [Rosine]_203-rosine brought the shawl , and [I]_0-i was bundled into [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} . [The theatre]_{6169-the theatre} was full - crammed to [its]_{6169-the theatre} roof : royal and [noble]_2493-noble were [there]_512-there : [palace]_4705-palace and [hotel]_2496-hotel had emptied [[their]_2497-their inmates]_{2498-their inmates} into those tiers so thronged and so hushed . Deeply did [I]_0-i feel [myself]_0-i privileged in having [a place before that stage]_{2499-a place before that stage} ; [I]_0-i longed to see a being of whose powers [I]_0-i had heard reports which made [me]_0-i conceive peculiar anticipations . [I]_0-i wondered if [she]_2500-her would justify [her]_2500-her renown : with strange curiosity , with feelings severe and austere , yet of riveted interest , [I]_0-i waited . [She]_2500-her was a study of such nature as had not encountered [my]_0-i eyes yet : [a great and new planet]_{2501-a great and new planet} [she]_2500-her was : but in what shape ? [I]_0-i waited [her]_2500-her rising . [She]_2500-her rose at nine that December night : above the horizon [I]_0-i saw [her]_2500-her come . [She]_2500-her could shine yet with pale grandeur and steady might ; but that star verged already on its judgment - day . Seen near , [it]_2502-it was a chaos - hollow , half - consumed : an orb perished or perishing - half lava , half glow . [I]_0-i had heard [this woman]_{1514-this woman} termed " plain , "_{[1514-this woman]} and [I]_0-i expected bony harshness and grimness - something large , angular , sallow . What [I]_0-i saw was the shadow of [a royal Vashti]_{2504-a royal vashti} : [a queen , fair as the day once , turned pale now like twilight , and wasted like wax in flame]_{2505-a queen , fair as the day once , turned pale now like twilight , and wasted like wax in flame} . For awhile - a long while - [I]_0-i thought it was only [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , though [an unique woman , Who moved in might and grace before this multitude]_{2507-an unique woman , who moved in might and grace before this multitude} . By- and - by [I]_0-i recognised [my]_0-i mistake . Behold ! [I]_0-i found upon [her]_2500-her something neither of [woman]_619-woman nor of [man]_618-man : in each of [her]_2500-her eyes sat [a devil]_{5983-a devil} . [These evil forces]_{2511-these evil forces} bore [her]_2500-her through the tragedy , kept up [her]_2500-her feeble strength - for [she]_2500-her was but [a frail creature]_{2512-a frail creature} ; and as the action rose and the stir deepened , how wildly [they]_{2511-these evil forces} shook [her]_2500-her with [their]_{2511-these evil forces} passions of the pit ! [They]_{2511-these evil forces} wrote HELL on [her]_2500-her straight , haughty brow . [They]_{2511-these evil forces} tuned [her]_2500-her voice to the note of torment . [They]_{2511-these evil forces} writhed [her]_2500-her regal face to a demoniac mask . Hate and Murder and Madness incarnate [she]_2500-her stood . It was a marvellous sight : a mighty revelation . It was a spectacle low , horrible , immoral . [Swordsmen]_{2513-swordsmen} thrust through , and dying in [their]_{2513-swordsmen} blood on the arena sand ; bulls goring horses disembowelled , made a meeker vision for [the public]_{2015-the public} - a milder condiment for [[a people]_{2515-a people} 's palate]_{2516-a people 's palate} - than [Vashti]_331-vashti torn by [seven devils]_{2517-seven devils} : devils which cried sore and rent [the tenement [they]_{2517-seven devils} haunted]_{2518-the tenement they haunted} , but still refused to be exorcised . Suffering had struck [that stage empress]_{2519-that stage empress} ; and [she]_2500-her stood before [[her]_2500-her audience]_{2520-her audience} neither yielding to , nor enduring , nor , in finite measure , resenting it : [she]_2500-her stood locked in struggle , rigid in resistance . [She]_2500-her stood , not dressed , but draped in pale antique folds , long and regular like sculpture . A background and entourage and flooring of deepest crimson threw [her]_2500-her out , white like alabaster - like silver : rather , be it said , like Death . Where was [the artist of the Cleopatra]_{2521-the artist of the cleopatra} ? Let [him]_{2521-the artist of the cleopatra} come and sit down and study this different vision . Let [him]_{2521-the artist of the cleopatra} seek here the mighty brawn , the muscle , the abounding blood , the full - fed flesh [he]_{2521-the artist of the cleopatra} worshipped : let [all materialists]_{2522-all materialists} draw nigh and look on . [I]_0-i have said that [she]_2500-her does not resent [her]_2500-her grief . No ; the weakness of that word would make it a lie . To [her]_2500-her , what hurts becomes immediately embodied : [she]_2500-her looks on it as a thing that can be attacked , worried down , torn in shreds . Scarcely a substance [herself]_2500-her , [she]_2500-her grapples to conflict with abstractions . Before calamity [she]_2500-her is [a tigress]_{2523-a tigress} ; [she]_2500-her rends [her]_2500-her woes , shivers them in convulsed abhorrence . Pain , for [her]_2500-her , has no result in good : tears water no harvest of wisdom : on sickness , on death itself , [she]_2500-her looks with the eye of [a rebel]_{2524-a rebel} . Wicked , perhaps , [she]_2500-her is , but also [she]_2500-her is strong ; and [her]_2500-her strength has conquered Beauty , has overcome Grace , and bound both at [her]_2500-her side , [captives]_{2525-captives} peerlessly fair , and docile as fair . Even in the uttermost frenzy of energy is [each maenad]_{2526-each maenad} movement royally , imperially , incedingly upborne . [Her]_2500-her hair , flying loose in revel or war , is still [an angel]_{1143-an angel} 's hair , and glorious under a halo . Fallen , insurgent , banished , [she]_2500-her remembers [the heaven where [she]_2500-her rebelled]_{2528-the heaven where she rebelled} . Heaven 's light , following [her]_2500-her exile , pierces its confines , and discloses their forlorn remoteness . Place now [the Cleopatra]_{5812-the cleopatra} , or any other slug , before [her]_{5812-the cleopatra} as an obstacle , and see [her]_{5812-the cleopatra} cut through the pulpy mass as the scimitar of [Saladin]_335-saladin clove the down cushion . Let [Paul Peter Rubens]_{336-paul peter rubens} wake from the dead , let [him]_{336-paul peter rubens} rise out of [his]_{336-paul peter rubens} cerements , and bring into this presence [all the army of [[his]_{336-paul peter rubens} fat women]_{2531-his fat women}]_{2530-all the army of his fat women} ; the magian power or prophet - virtue gifting that slight rod of [Moses]_337-moses , could , at one waft , release and re - mingle a sea spell - parted , whelming [the heavy host with the down - rush of overthrown sea - ramparts]_{2532-the heavy host with the down - rush of overthrown sea - ramparts} . [Vashti]_331-vashti was not good , [I]_0-i was told ; and [I]_0-i have said [she]_331-vashti did not look good : though [a spirit]_{2533-a spirit} , [she]_331-vashti was a spirit out of [Tophet]_84-tophet . Well , if so much of unholy force can arise from below , may not an equal efflux of sacred essence descend one day from above ? What thought [Dr. Graham]_135-graham of [this being]_{2534-this being} ? For long intervals [I]_0-i forgot to look how [he]_135-graham demeaned [himself]_135-graham , or to question what [he]_135-graham thought . The strong magnetism of genius drew [my]_0-i heart out of its wonted orbit ; the sunflower turned from the south to a fierce light , not solar - a rushing , red , cometary light - hot on vision and to sensation . [I]_0-i had seen acting before , but never anything like this : never anything which astonished Hope and hushed Desire ; which outstripped Impulse and paled Conception ; which , instead of merely irritating imagination with the thought of what might be done , at the same time fevering the nerves because it was not done , disclosed power like [a deep , swollen winter river]_{2535-a deep , swollen winter river} , thundering in cataract , and bearing the soul , like a leaf , on the steep and steelly sweep of its descent . [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , with [her]_179-ginevra usual ripeness of judgment , pronounced [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham [a serious , impassioned man , too grave and too impressible]_{2536-a serious , impassioned man , too grave and too impressible} . Not in such light did [I]_0-i ever see [him]_135-graham : no such faults could [I]_0-i lay to [his]_135-graham charge . [His]_135-graham natural attitude was not the meditative , nor [his]_135-graham natural mood the sentimental ; impressionable [he]_135-graham was as dimpling water , but , almost as water , unimpressible : the breeze , the sun , moved [him]_135-graham - metal could not grave , nor fire brand . [Dr. John]_135-graham could think and think well , but [he]_135-graham was rather [a man of action than of thought]_{2537-a man of action than of thought} ; [he]_135-graham could feel , and feel vividly in [his]_135-graham way , but [his]_135-graham heart had no chord for enthusiasm : to bright , soft , sweet influences [his]_135-graham eyes and lips gave bright , soft , sweet welcome , beautiful to see as dyes of rose and silver , pearl and purple , imbuing summer clouds ; for what belonged to storm , what was wild and intense , dangerous , sudden , and flaming , [he]_135-graham had no sympathy , and held with it no communion . When [I]_0-i took time and regained inclination to glance at [him]_135-graham , it amused and enlightened [me]_0-i to discover that [he]_135-graham was watching [that sinister and sovereign Vashti]_{2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti} , not with wonder , nor worship , nor yet dismay , but simply with intense curiosity . [Her]_{2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti} agony did not pain [him]_135-graham , [her]_{2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti} wild moan - worse than a shriek - did not much move [him]_135-graham ; [her]_{2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti} fury revolted [him]_135-graham somewhat , but not to the point of horror . [Cool young Briton]_{338-cool young briton} ! [The pale cliffs of [his]_135-graham own England]_{2539-the pale cliffs of his own england} do not look down on the tides of [the Channel]_{85-the channel} more calmly than [he]_135-graham watched the Pythian inspiration of that night . Looking at [his]_135-graham face , [I]_0-i longed to know [his]_135-graham exact opinions , and at last [I]_0-i put a question tending to elicit them . At the sound of [my]_0-i voice [he]_135-graham awoke as if out of a dream ; for [he]_135-graham had been thinking , and very intently thinking , [his]_135-graham own thoughts , after [his]_135-graham own manner . " How did [he]_135-graham like [Vashti]_331-vashti ? "_[135-graham] [I]_0-i wished to know . " Hm - m - m , "_[135-graham] was the first scarce articulate but expressive answer ; and then such a strange smile went wandering round [his]_135-graham lips , a smile so critical , so almost callous ! [I]_0-i suppose that for natures of that order [his]_135-graham sympathies were callous . In a few terse phrases [he]_135-graham told [me]_0-i [his]_135-graham opinion of , and feeling towards , [the actress]_{2540-the actress} : [he]_135-graham judged [her]_{2540-the actress} as [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , not [an artist]_{2542-an artist} : it was a branding judgment . That night was already marked in [my]_0-i book of life , not with white , but with a deep - red cross . But [I]_0-i had not done with it yet ; and other memoranda were destined to be set down in characters of tint indelible . Towards midnight , when the deepening tragedy blackened to the death- scene , and [all]_4382-all held [their]_4382-all breath , and even [Graham]_135-graham bit [his]_135-graham under - lip , and knit [his]_135-graham brow , and sat still and struck - when [the whole theatre]_{2544-the whole theatre} was hushed , when the vision of all eyes centred in one point , when all ears listened towards one quarter - nothing being seen but the white form sunk on a seat , quivering in conflict with [her]_{2540-the actress} last , [her]_{2540-the actress} worst- hated , [[her]_{2540-the actress} visibly - conquering foe]_{2545-her visibly - conquering foe} - nothing heard but [her]_{2540-the actress} throes , [her]_{2540-the actress} gaspings , breathing yet of mutiny , panting still defiance ; when , as it seemed , an inordinate will , convulsing a perishing mortal frame , bent it to battle with doom and death , fought every inch of ground , sold every drop of blood , resisted to the latest the rape of [every faculty]_{2546-every faculty} , would see , would hear , would breathe , would live , up to , within , well - nigh beyond the moment when death says to all sense and all being - " Thus far and no farther ! "_{[2546-every faculty]} - Just then a stir , pregnant with omen , rustled behind the scenes - feet ran , voices spoke . What was it ? demanded [the whole house]_{1327-the whole house} . A flame , a smell of smoke replied . " Fire ! "_[0-i] rang through [the gallery]_{5814-the gallery} . " Fire ! "_[0-i] was repeated , re - echoed , yelled forth : and then , and faster than pen can set it down , came panic , rushing , crushing - a blind , selfish , cruel chaos . And [Dr. John]_135-graham ? [Reader]_281-reader , [I]_0-i see [him]_135-graham yet , with [his]_135-graham look of comely courage and cordial calm . " [Lucy]_333-lucy will sit still , [I]_135-graham know , "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham , glancing down at [me]_0-i with the same serene goodness , the same repose of firmness that [I]_0-i have seen in [him]_135-graham when sitting at [his]_135-graham side amid the secure peace of [[[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's hearth]_{2550-his mother 's hearth} . Yes , thus adjured , [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i would have sat still under a rocking crag : but , indeed , to sit still in actual circumstances was [my]_0-i instinct ; and at the price of [my]_0-i very life , [I]_0-i would not have moved to give [him]_135-graham trouble , thwart [his]_135-graham will , or make demands on [his]_135-graham attention . [We]_2551-us were in [the stalls]_{2552-the stalls} , and for a few minutes there was a most terrible , ruthless pressure about [us]_2551-us . " How terrified are [the women]_{4558-the women} ! "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham ; " but if [the men]_{4562-the men} were not almost equally so , order might be maintained . This is a sorry scene : [I]_135-graham see [fifty selfish brutes]_{6175-fifty selfish brutes} at this moment , each of whom , if [I]_135-graham were near , [I]_135-graham could conscientiously knock down . [I]_135-graham see [some women braver than some men]_{6176-some women braver than some men} . There is one yonder - Good God ! "_[135-graham] While [Graham]_135-graham was speaking , [a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to [a gentleman before [us]_2551-us]_{2554-a gentleman before us}]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} , was suddenly struck from [[her]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} protector]_{2555-her protector} 's arms by [a big , butcherly intruder]_{2556-a big , butcherly intruder} , and hurled under the feet of [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} . Scarce two seconds lasted [her]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} disappearance . [Graham]_135-graham rushed forwards ; [he]_135-graham and [the gentleman]_{4574-the gentleman} , [a powerful man though grey - haired]_{2559-a powerful man though grey - haired} , united [their]_2560-their strength to thrust back [the throng]_{2561-the throng} ; [her]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} head and long hair fell back over [his]_{4574-the gentleman} shoulder : [she]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} seemed unconscious . " Trust [her]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} with [me]_135-graham ; [I]_135-graham am [a medical man]_{6177-a medical man} , "_[135-graham] said [Dr. John]_135-graham . " If [you]_135-graham have [no lady]_{6178-no lady} with [you]_135-graham , be it so , "_[135-graham] was the answer . " Hold [her]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} , and [I]_135-graham will force a passage : [we]_2562-we must get [her]_{2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us} to the air . "_[135-graham] " [I]_135-graham have [a lady]_{1639-a lady} , "_[135-graham] said [Graham]_135-graham ; " but [she]_{1639-a lady} will be neither hindrance nor incumbrance . "_[135-graham] [He]_135-graham summoned [me]_0-i with [his]_135-graham eye : [we]_2562-we were separated . Resolute , however , to rejoin [him]_135-graham , [I]_0-i penetrated the living barrier , creeping under where [I]_0-i could not get between or over . " Fasten on [me]_135-graham , and do n't leave go , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham said ; and [I]_0-i obeyed [him]_135-graham . [[Our]_2562-we pioneer]_{2563-our pioneer} proved strong and adroit ; [he]_135-graham opened the dense mass like a wedge ; with patience and toil [he]_135-graham at last bored through the flesh - and- blood rock - so solid , hot , and suffocating - and brought [us]_2562-we to the fresh , freezing night . " [You]_0-i are [an Englishman]_{6180-an englishman} ! "_[135-graham] said [he]_135-graham , turning shortly on [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , when [we]_2562-we got into [the street]_{623-the street} . " [An Englishman]_{6180-an englishman} . And [I]_135-graham speak to [a countryman]_{6182-a countryman} ? "_[135-graham] was the reply . " Right . Be good enough to stand here two minutes , whilst [I]_135-graham find [[my]_135-graham carriage]_{6183-my carriage} . "_[135-graham] " [Papa]_140-papa , [I]_135-graham am not hurt , "_[135-graham] said a girlish voice ; " am [I]_135-graham with [papa]_4218-papa ? "_[135-graham] " [You]_0-i are with [a friend]_{1797-a friend} , and [[your]_0-i father]_{4386-your father} is close at hand . "_[135-graham] " Tell [him]_4218-papa [I]_135-graham am not hurt , except just in [my]_135-graham shoulder . Oh , [my]_135-graham shoulder ! [They]_6187-they trod just here . "_[135-graham] " Dislocation , perhaps ! "_{[4288-the doctor]} muttered [the Doctor]_{4288-the doctor} : " let [us]_6188-us hope there is no worse injury done . [Lucy]_333-lucy , lend a hand one instant . "_{[4288-the doctor]} And [I]_0-i assisted while [he]_{4288-the doctor} made some arrangement of drapery and position for the ease of [his]_{4288-the doctor} suffering burden . [She]_2566-she suppressed a moan , and lay in [his]_{4288-the doctor} arms quietly and patiently . " [She]_2566-she is very light , "_[135-graham] said [Graham]_135-graham , " like [a child]_{4415-a child} ! "_{[4288-the doctor]} and [he]_{4288-the doctor} asked in [my]_0-i ear , " Is [she]_2566-she [a child]_{4415-a child} , [Lucy]_333-lucy ? Did [you]_333-lucy notice [her]_2566-she age ? "_{[4288-the doctor]} " [I]_{1269-the patient} am not [a child]_{4415-a child} - [I]_{1269-the patient} am [a person of seventeen]_{6192-a person of seventeen} , "_{[1269-the patient]} responded [the patient]_{1269-the patient} , demurely and with dignity . Then , directly after : " Tell [papa]_4218-papa to come ; [I]_{1269-the patient} get anxious . "_{[1269-the patient]} [The carriage]_{5783-the carriage} drove up ; [[her]_2566-she father]_{643-her father} relieved [Graham]_135-graham ; but in the exchange from [one bearer]_{2570-one bearer} to another [she]_2566-she was hurt , and moaned again . " [[My]_{2571-the father} darling]_{6194-my darling} ! "_{[2571-the father]} said [the father]_{2571-the father} , tenderly ; then turning to [Graham]_135-graham , " [You]_135-graham said , [sir]_976-sir , [you]_135-graham are [a medical man]_{6177-a medical man} ? "_{[2571-the father]} " [I]_{2571-the father} am : [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , of [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} . "_{[2571-the father]} " Good . Will [you]_135-graham step into [[my]_{2571-the father} carriage]_{6183-my carriage} ? "_{[2571-the father]} " [[My]_{2571-the father} own carriage]_{6198-my own carriage} is here : [I]_{2571-the father} will seek it , and accompany [you]_135-graham . "_{[2571-the father]} " Be pleased , then , to follow [us]_2572-we . "_{[2571-the father]} And [he]_{2571-the father} named [his]_{2571-the father} address : " [The Hotel Crecy]_{86-the hotel crecy} , in [the Rue Crecy]_{6199-the rue crecy} . "_{[2571-the father]} [We]_2572-we followed ; [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} drove fast ; [myself]_0-i and [Graham]_135-graham were silent . This seemed like an adventure . Some little time being lost in seeking [our]_2572-we own equipage , [we]_2572-we reached [the hotel]_{2574-the hotel} perhaps about ten minutes after [these strangers]_{2575-these strangers} . [It]_{2574-the hotel} was [an hotel]_{2576-an hotel} in the foreign sense : [a collection of [dwelling - houses]_{2578-dwelling - houses}]_{2577-a collection of dwelling - houses} , not [an inn]_{4440-an inn} - [a vast , lofty pile , with a huge arch to [its]_{2580-a vast , lofty pile , with a huge arch to its street} street]_{2580-a vast , lofty pile , with a huge arch to its street} - door , leading through a vaulted covered way , into [a square all built round]_{2581-a square all built round} . [We]_2572-we alighted , passed up a wide , handsome public staircase , and stopped at [Numero 2]_{62-numero 10} on [the second landing]_{2582-the second landing} ; the first floor comprising [the abode of [I]_0-i know not what " [prince Russe]_{339-prince russe}]_{6200-the abode of i know not what " prince russe} , "_[135-graham] as [Graham]_135-graham informed [me]_0-i . On ringing the bell at a second great door , [we]_2572-we were admitted to [a suite of very handsome apartments]_{2583-a suite of very handsome apartments} . Announced by [a servant in livery]_{2584-a servant in livery} , [we]_2572-we entered [a drawing - room whose hearth glowed with an English fire]_{2585-a drawing - room whose hearth glowed with an english fire} , and whose walls gleamed with foreign mirrors . Near the hearth appeared a little group : a slight form sunk in a deep arm - chair , one or two women busy about it , [the iron - grey gentleman]_{2586-the iron - grey gentleman} anxiously looking on . " Where is [Harriet]_137-harriet ? [I]_{2587-the girlish voice} wish [Harriet]_137-harriet would come to [me]_{2587-the girlish voice} , "_{[2587-the girlish voice]} said [the girlish voice]_{2587-the girlish voice} , faintly . " Where is [Mrs. Hurst]_{340-mrs. hurst} ? "_{[4574-the gentleman]} demanded [the gentleman]_{4574-the gentleman} impatiently and somewhat sternly of [the man - servant who had admitted [us]_2572-we]_{2589-the man - servant who had admitted us} . " [I]_{4574-the gentleman} am sorry to say [she]_{340-mrs. hurst} is gone out of [town]_4930-town , [sir]_976-sir ; [[my]_{4574-the gentleman} young lady]_{6203-my young lady} gave [her]_{340-mrs. hurst} leave till to - morrow . "_{[4574-the gentleman]} " Yes - [I]_{4236-the young lady} did - [I]_{4236-the young lady} did . [She]_{340-mrs. hurst} is gone to see [[her]_{340-mrs. hurst} sister]_{6204-her sister} ; [I]_{4236-the young lady} said [she]_{340-mrs. hurst} might go : [I]_{4236-the young lady} remember now , "_{[4236-the young lady]} interposed [the young lady]_{4236-the young lady} ; " but [I]_{4236-the young lady} am so sorry , for [Manon]_341-manon and [Louison]_342-louison can not understand a word [I]_{4236-the young lady} say , and [they]_2592-they hurt [me]_{4236-the young lady} without meaning to do so . "_{[4236-the young lady]} [Dr. John]_135-graham and [the gentleman]_{4574-the gentleman} now interchanged greetings ; and while [they]_2592-they passed a few minutes in consultation , [I]_0-i approached the easy - chair , and seeing what [the faint and sinking girl]_{2593-the faint and sinking girl} wished to have done , [I]_0-i did it for [her]_{2593-the faint and sinking girl} . [I]_0-i was still occupied in the arrangement , when [Graham]_135-graham drew near ; [he]_135-graham was no less skilled in surgery than medicine , and , on examination , found that no further advice than [his]_135-graham own was necessary to the treatment of the present case . [He]_135-graham ordered [her]_{2593-the faint and sinking girl} to be carried to [[her]_{2593-the faint and sinking girl} chamber]_{1070-her chamber} , and whispered to [me]_0-i : - " Go with [the women]_{4558-the women} , [Lucy]_333-lucy ; [they]_{4558-the women} seem but dull ; [you]_0-i can at least direct [their]_{4558-the women} movements , and thus spare [her]_{2593-the faint and sinking girl} some pain . [She]_{2593-the faint and sinking girl} must be touched very tenderly . "_[135-graham] [The chamber]_{2595-the chamber} was [a room shadowy with pale - blue hangings , vaporous with curtainings and veilings of muslin]_{2596-a room shadowy with pale - blue hangings , vaporous with curtainings and veilings of muslin} ; the bed seemed to [me]_0-i like snow- drift and mist - spotless , soft , and gauzy . Making [the women]_{4558-the women} stand apart , [I]_0-i undressed [[their]_{4558-the women} mistress]_{2598-their mistress} , without [their]_{4558-the women} well - meaning but clumsy aid . [I]_0-i was not in a sufficiently collected mood to note with separate distinctness every detail of the attire [I]_0-i removed , but [I]_0-i received a general impression of refinement , delicacy , and perfect personal cultivation ; which , in a period of after - thought , offered in [my]_0-i reflections a singular contrast to notes retained of [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's appointments . [The girl]_{4226-the girl} was [herself]_{4226-the girl} [a small , delicate creature , but made like a model]_{2600-a small , delicate creature , but made like a model} . As [I]_0-i folded back [her]_{4226-the girl} plentiful yet fine hair , so shining and soft , and so exquisitely tended , [I]_0-i had under [my]_0-i observation a young , pale , weary , but high - bred face . The brow was smooth and clear ; the eyebrows were distinct , but soft , and melting to a mere trace at the temples ; the eyes were a rich gift of nature - fine and full , large , deep , seeming to hold dominion over the slighter subordinate features - capable , probably , of much significance at another hour and under other circumstances than the present , but now languid and suffering . [Her]_{4226-the girl} skin was perfectly fair , the neck and hands veined finely like the petals of a flower ; a thin glazing of the ice of pride polished this delicate exterior , and [her]_{4226-the girl} lip wore a curl - [I]_0-i doubt not inherent and unconscious , but which , if [I]_0-i had seen it first with the accompaniments of health and state , would have struck [me]_0-i as unwarranted , and proving in [the little lady]_{2601-the little lady} a quite mistaken view of life and [her]_{4226-the girl} own consequence . [Her]_{4226-the girl} demeanour under [the Doctor]_{4288-the doctor} 's hands at first excited a smile ; it was not puerile - rather , on the whole , patient and firm - but yet , once or twice [she]_{4226-the girl} addressed [him]_{4288-the doctor} with suddenness and sharpness , saying that [he]_{4288-the doctor} hurt [her]_{4226-the girl} , and must contrive to give [her]_{4226-the girl} less pain ; [I]_0-i saw [her]_{4226-the girl} large eyes , too , settle on [his]_{4288-the doctor} face like the solemn eyes of [some pretty , wondering child]_{2603-some pretty , wondering child} . [I]_0-i know not whether [Graham]_135-graham felt this examination : if be did , [he]_135-graham was cautious not to check or discomfort it by any retaliatory look . [I]_0-i think [he]_135-graham performed [his]_135-graham work with extreme care and gentleness , sparing [her]_{4226-the girl} what pain [he]_135-graham could ; and [she]_{4226-the girl} acknowledged as much , when [he]_135-graham had done , by the words : - " Thank [you]_{643-her father} , [Doctor]_6158-doctor , and good- night , "_{[4226-the girl]} very gratefully pronounced as [she]_{4226-the girl} uttered them , however , it was with a repetition of the serious , direct gaze , [I]_0-i thought , peculiar in its gravity and intentness . The injuries , it seems , were not dangerous : an assurance which [[her]_{4226-the girl} father]_{643-her father} received with a smile that almost made [one]_607-one [[his]_{643-her father} friend]_{2606-his friend} - it was so glad and gratified . [He]_{643-her father} now expressed [his]_{643-her father} obligations to [Graham]_135-graham with as much earnestness as was befitting [an Englishman]_{6180-an englishman} addressing one who has served [him]_{643-her father} , but is yet [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} ; [he]_{643-her father} also begged [him]_{643-her father} to call the next day . " [Papa]_140-papa , "_{[643-her father]} said a voice from the veiled couch , " thank [the lady]_{554-the lady} , too ; is [she]_{554-the lady} there ? "_{[643-her father]} [I]_0-i opened the curtain with a smile , and looked in at [her]_{4226-the girl} . [She]_{4226-the girl} lay now at comparative ease ; [she]_{4226-the girl} looked pretty , though pale ; [her]_{4226-the girl} face was delicately designed , and if at first sight it appeared proud , [I]_0-i believe custom might prove it to be soft . " [I]_{643-her father} thank [the lady]_{554-the lady} very sincerely , "_{[643-her father]} said [[her]_{4226-the girl} father]_{643-her father} : " [I]_{643-her father} fancy [she]_{554-the lady} has been very good to [[my]_{643-her father} child]_{4422-my child} . [I]_{643-her father} think [we]_2610-we scarcely dare tell [Mrs. Hurst]_{340-mrs. hurst} who has been [her]_{554-the lady} substitute and done [her]_{554-the lady} work ; [she]_{554-the lady} will feel at once ashamed and jealous . "_{[643-her father]} And thus , in the most friendly spirit , parting greetings were interchanged ; and refreshment having been hospitably offered , but by [us]_2610-we , as it was late , refused , [we]_2610-we withdrew from [the Hotel Crecy]_{86-the hotel crecy} . On [our]_2610-we way back [we]_2610-we repassed [the theatre]_{6169-the theatre} . All was silence and darkness : [the roaring , rushing crowd]_{2612-the roaring , rushing crowd} all vanished and gone - the damps , as well as the incipient fire , extinct and forgotten . Next morning 's papers explained that it was but some loose drapery on which a spark had fallen , and which had blazed up and been quenched in a moment . CHAPTER XXIV . M. DE BASSOMPIERRE . [Those who live in retirement , whose lives have fallen amid the seclusion of schools]_{2613-those who live in retirement , whose lives have fallen amid the seclusion of schools} or of [other walled - in and guarded dwellings]_{2614-other walled - in and guarded dwellings} , are liable to be suddenly and for a long while dropped out of the memory of [[their]_{2613-those who live in retirement , whose lives have fallen amid the seclusion of schools} friends]_{2615-their friends} , [the denizens of [a freer world]_{2617-a freer world}]_{2616-the denizens of a freer world} . Unaccountably , perhaps , and close upon some space of unusually frequent intercourse - some congeries of rather exciting little circumstances , whose natural sequel would rather seem to be the quickening than the suspension of communication - there falls a stilly pause , a wordless silence , a long blank of oblivion . Unbroken always is this blank ; alike entire and unexplained . The letter , the message once frequent , are cut off ; the visit , formerly periodical , ceases to occur ; the book , paper , or other token that indicated remembrance , comes no more . Always there are excellent reasons for these lapses , if [the hermit]_{2618-the hermit} but knew them . Though [he]_{2618-the hermit} is stagnant in [[his]_{2618-the hermit} cell]_{2619-his cell} , [his]_{2618-the hermit} connections without are whirling in the very vortex of life . That void interval which passes for [him]_{2618-the hermit} so slowly that the very clocks seem at a stand , and the wingless hours plod by in the likeness of [tired tramps prone to rest at milestones]_{2620-tired tramps prone to rest at milestones} - that same interval , perhaps , teems with events , and pants with hurry for [[his]_{2618-the hermit} friends]_{706-his friends} . [The hermit]_{2618-the hermit} - if [he]_{2618-the hermit} be [a sensible hermit]_{2623-a sensible hermit} - will swallow [his]_{2618-the hermit} own thoughts , and lock up [his]_{2618-the hermit} own emotions during these weeks of inward winter . [He]_{2618-the hermit} will know that [Destiny]_235-destiny designed [him]_{2618-the hermit} to imitate , on occasion , the dormouse , and [he]_{2618-the hermit} will be conformable : make a tidy ball of [himself]_{2618-the hermit} , creep into a hole of life 's wall , and submit decently to the drift which blows in and soon blocks [him]_{2618-the hermit} up , preserving [him]_{2618-the hermit} in ice for the season . Let [him]_{2618-the hermit} say , " It is quite right : it ought to be so , since so it is . "_{[2618-the hermit]} And , perhaps , one day [his]_{2618-the hermit} snow - sepulchre will open , spring 's softness will return , the sun and south - wind will reach [him]_{2618-the hermit} ; the budding of hedges , and carolling of birds , and singing of [liberated streams]_{2624-liberated streams} , will call [him]_{2618-the hermit} to kindly resurrection . Perhaps this may be the case , perhaps not : the frost may get into [his]_{2618-the hermit} heart and never thaw more ; when spring comes , a crow or a pie may pick out of the wall only [his]_{2618-the hermit} dormouse - bones . Well , even in that case , all will be right : it is to be supposed [he]_{2618-the hermit} knew from the first [he]_{2618-the hermit} was mortal , and must one day go the way of all flesh , " As well soon as syne . "_{[2618-the hermit]} Following that eventful evening at [the theatre]_{6169-the theatre} , came for [me]_0-i seven weeks as bare as seven sheets of blank paper : no word was written on one of them ; not a visit , not a token . About the middle of that time [I]_0-i entertained fancies that something had happened to [[my]_0-i friends]_{2626-my friends} at [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} . The mid - blank is always a beclouded point for [the solitary]_{2627-the solitary} : [his]_{2618-the hermit} nerves ache with the strain of long expectancy ; the doubts hitherto repelled gather now to a mass and - strong in accumulation - roll back upon [him]_{2618-the hermit} with a force which savours of vindictiveness . Night , too , becomes an unkindly time , and sleep and [his]_{2618-the hermit} nature can not agree : strange starts and struggles harass [[his]_{2618-the hermit} couch]_{2628-his couch} : [the sinister band of bad dreams]_{2629-the sinister band of bad dreams} , with horror of calamity , and sick dread of entire desertion at [their]_{2629-the sinister band of bad dreams} head , join the league against [him]_{2618-the hermit} . [Poor wretch]_{343-poor wretch} ! [He]_{2618-the hermit} does [his]_{2618-the hermit} best to bear up , but [he]_{2618-the hermit} is [a poor , pallid , wasting wretch]_{2630-a poor , pallid , wasting wretch} , despite that best . Towards the last of these long seven weeks [I]_0-i admitted , what through the other six [I]_0-i had jealously excluded - the conviction that these blanks were inevitable : the result of circumstances , the fiat of fate , a part of [my]_0-i life 's lot and - above all - a matter about whose origin no question must ever be asked , for whose painful sequence [no murmur]_{2631-no murmur} ever uttered . Of course [I]_0-i did not blame [myself]_0-i for suffering : [I]_0-i thank [God]_164-god [I]_0-i had a truer sense of justice than to fall into any imbecile extravagance of self - accusation ; and as to blaming [others]_770-others for silence , in [my]_0-i reason [I]_0-i well knew [them]_770-others blameless , and in [my]_0-i heart acknowledged [them]_770-others so : but it was a rough and heavy road to travel , and [I]_0-i longed for better days . [I]_0-i tried different expedients to sustain and fill existence : [I]_0-i commenced an elaborate piece of lace - work , [I]_0-i studied [German]_344-german pretty hard , [I]_0-i undertook a course of regular reading of the driest and thickest books in [the library]_{2633-the library} ; in all [my]_0-i efforts [I]_0-i was as orthodox as [I]_0-i knew how to be . Was there error somewhere ? Very likely . [I]_0-i only know the result was as if [I]_0-i had gnawed a file to satisfy hunger , or drank brine to quench thirst . [My]_0-i hour of torment was the post - hour . Unfortunately , [I]_0-i knew it too well , and tried as vainly as assiduously to cheat [myself]_0-i of that knowledge ; dreading the rack of expectation , and the sick collapse of disappointment which daily preceded and followed upon that well- recognised ring . [I]_0-i suppose animals kept in [cages]_2634-cages , and so scantily fed as to be always upon the verge of famine , await [their]_770-others food as [I]_0-i awaited a letter . Oh ! - to speak truth , and drop that tone of a false calm which long to sustain , outwears nature 's endurance - [I]_0-i underwent in those seven weeks bitter fears and pains , strange inward trials , miserable defections of hope , intolerable encroachments of despair . This last came so near [me]_0-i sometimes that [her]_2635-her breath went right through [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i used to feel it like a baleful air or sigh , penetrate deep , and make motion pause at [my]_0-i heart , or proceed only under unspeakable oppression . The letter - the well - beloved letter - would not come ; and it was all of sweetness in life [I]_0-i had to look for . In the very extremity of want , [I]_0-i had recourse again , and yet again , to the little packet in the case - the five letters . How splendid that month seemed whose skies had beheld the rising of these five stars ! It was always at night [I]_0-i visited [them]_2636-them , and not daring to ask every evening for a candle in [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen} , [I]_0-i bought a wax taper and matches to light it , and at the study - hour stole up to [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} and feasted on [my]_0-i crust from the Barmecide 's loaf . It did not nourish [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i pined on it , and got as thin as a shadow : otherwise [I]_0-i was not ill . Reading there somewhat late one evening , and feeling that the power to read was leaving [me]_0-i - for the letters from incessant perusal were losing all sap and significance : [my]_0-i gold was withering to leaves before [my]_0-i eyes , and [I]_0-i was sorrowing over the disillusion - suddenly a quick tripping foot ran up the stairs . [I]_0-i knew [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's step : [she]_179-ginevra had dined in [town]_4930-town that afternoon ; [she]_179-ginevra was now returned , and would come here to replace [her]_179-ginevra shawl , c. in the wardrobe . Yes : in [she]_179-ginevra came , dressed in bright silk , with [her]_179-ginevra shawl falling from [her]_179-ginevra shoulders , and [her]_179-ginevra curls , half - uncurled in the damp of night , drooping careless and heavy upon [her]_179-ginevra neck . [I]_0-i had hardly time to recasket [my]_0-i treasures and lock them up when [she]_179-ginevra was at [my]_0-i side [her]_179-ginevra humour seemed none of the best . " It has been a stupid evening : [they]_6210-they are [stupid people]_{6211-stupid people} , "_{[179-ginevra]} [she]_179-ginevra began . " Who ? [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} ? [I]_179-ginevra thought [you]_0-i always found [[her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} house]_{6212-her house} charming ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " [I]_179-ginevra have not been to [[Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} 's]_{6213-mrs. cholmondeley 's} . "_{[179-ginevra]} " Indeed ! Have [you]_0-i made new acquaintance ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " [[My]_179-ginevra uncle]_{4462-my uncle} [de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} is come . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [[Your]_179-ginevra uncle]_{6215-your uncle} [de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} ! Are [you]_179-ginevra not glad ? - [I]_179-ginevra thought [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was a favourite . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [You]_179-ginevra thought wrong : [the man]_{4959-the man} is odious ; [I]_179-ginevra hate [him]_{4959-the man} . "_{[179-ginevra]} " Because [he]_{4959-the man} is [a foreigner]_{891-a foreigner} ? or for what other reason of equal weight ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " [He]_{4959-the man} is not [a foreigner]_{891-a foreigner} . [The man]_{4959-the man} is English enough , goodness knows ; and had an English name till three or four years ago ; but [[his]_{4959-the man} mother]_{534-his mother} was [a foreigner]_{891-a foreigner} , a [de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , and [some of [[her]_{534-his mother} family]_{1163-her family}]_{6222-some of her family} are dead and have left [him]_{4959-the man} estates , a title , and this name : [he]_{4959-the man} is quite [a great man]_{6224-a great man} now . "_{[179-ginevra]} " Do [you]_179-ginevra hate [him]_{4959-the man} for that reason ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " Do n't [I]_2640-i know what [mamma]_4272-mamma says about [him]_{4959-the man} ? [He]_{4959-the man} is not [[my]_2640-i own uncle]_{6226-my own uncle} , but [married [mamma]_4272-mamma 's sister]_{6227-married mamma 's sister} . [Mamma]_150-mamma detests [him]_{4959-the man} ; [she]_150-mamma says [he]_{4959-the man} killed [aunt Ginevra]_179-ginevra with unkindness : [he]_{4959-the man} looks like a bear . Such a dismal evening ! "_[2640-i] [she]_2640-i went on . " [I]_2640-i 'll go no more to [[his]_{4959-the man} big hotel]_{6229-his big hotel} . Fancy [me]_2640-i walking into [a room]_{612-a room} alone , and [a great man fifty years old]_{6231-a great man fifty years old} coming forwards , and after a few minutes ' conversation actually turning [his]_{4959-the man} back upon [me]_2640-i , and then abruptly going out of [the room]_{600-the room} . Such odd ways ! [I]_2640-i daresay [his]_{4959-the man} conscience smote [him]_{4959-the man} , for [they]_6233-they all say at [home]_542-home [I]_2640-i am the picture of [aunt Ginevra]_179-ginevra . [Mamma]_150-mamma often declares the likeness is quite ridiculous . "_[2640-i] " Were [you]_2640-i [the only visitor]_{6235-the only visitor} ? "_{[179-ginevra]} " [The only visitor]_{6235-the only visitor} ? Yes ; then there was [missy]_6237-missy , [[my]_179-ginevra cousin]_{6238-my cousin} : [little spoiled , pampered thing]_{6239-little spoiled , pampered thing} . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} has [a daughter]_{6240-a daughter} ? "_[2640-i] " Yes , yes : do n't tease [one]_607-one with questions . Oh , [dear]_6242-dear ! [I]_2641-you am so tired . "_[2641-you] [She]_2641-you yawned . Throwing [herself]_2641-you without ceremony on [my]_0-i bed [she]_2641-you added , " It seems [Mademoiselle]_333-lucy was nearly crushed to a jelly in a hubbub at [the theatre]_{6169-the theatre} some weeks ago . "_[2641-you] " Ah ! indeed . And [they]_6244-they live at [a large hotel in [the Rue Crecy]_{88-the rue crecy}]_{6245-a large hotel in the rue crecy} ? "_[2640-i] " [Justement]_{345-justement} . How do [you]_2641-you know ? "_[2640-i] " [I]_2640-i have been [there]_512-there . "_[2640-i] " Oh , [you]_2641-you have ? Really ! [You]_2641-you go everywhere in these days . [I]_2640-i suppose [Mother Bretton]_{346-mother bretton} took [you]_2641-you . [She]_{346-mother bretton} and [Esculapius]_{347-esculapius} have the entree of [the de Bassompierre apartments]_{6247-the de bassompierre apartments} : it seems ' [[my]_2640-i son]_{1825-my son} [John]_135-graham ' attended [missy]_138-missy on the occasion of [her]_138-missy accident - Accident ? Bah ! All affectation ! [I]_2640-i do n't think [she]_138-missy was squeezed more than [she]_138-missy richly deserves for [her]_138-missy airs . And now there is quite an intimacy struck up : [I]_2640-i heard something about ' auld lang syne , ' and what not . Oh , how stupid [they]_6249-they all were ! "_[2640-i] " All ! [You]_2641-you said [you]_2641-you were [the only visitor]_{6235-the only visitor} . "_[2640-i] " Did [I]_2640-i ? [You]_2641-you see [one]_607-one forgets to particularize [an old woman]_{6252-an old woman} and [[her]_{6252-an old woman} boy]_{6253-her boy} . "_[2640-i] " [Dr.]_135-graham and [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} were at [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} 's this evening ? "_[2640-i] " Ay , ay ! as large as life ; and [missy]_138-missy played [the hostess]_{6254-the hostess} . What [a conceited doll]_{6255-a conceited doll} it is ! "_[2640-i] Soured and listless , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra was beginning to disclose the causes of [her]_179-ginevra prostrate condition . There had been a retrenchment of incense , a diversion or a total withholding of homage and attention coquetry had failed of effect , vanity had undergone mortification . [She]_179-ginevra lay fuming in the vapours . " Is [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} quite well now ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked . " As well as [you]_0-i or [I]_0-i , no doubt ; but [she]_179-ginevra is [an affected little thing]_{6256-an affected little thing} , and gave [herself]_179-ginevra invalid airs to attract medical notice . And to see [the old dowager]_{6257-the old dowager} making [her]_179-ginevra recline on a couch , and ' [[my]_0-i son]_{1825-my son} [John]_135-graham ' prohibiting excitement , etcetera - faugh ! the scene was quite sickening . "_[0-i] " It would not have been so if the object of attention had been changed : if [you]_0-i had taken [[Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} 's place]_{6259-miss de bassompierre 's place} . "_[2643-she] " Indeed ! [I]_0-i hate ' [[my]_0-i son]_{1825-my son} [John]_135-graham ! ' "_[0-i] " ' [[My]_0-i son]_{1825-my son} [John]_135-graham ! ' - whom do [you]_0-i indicate by that name ? [[Dr. Bretton]_135-graham 's mother]_{6262-dr. bretton 's mother} never calls [him]_{1825-my son} so . "_[0-i] " Then [she]_{6262-dr. bretton 's mother} ought . [A clownish , bearish John]_{6263-a clownish , bearish john} [he]_{1825-my son} is . "_[2643-she] " [You]_0-i violate the truth in saying so ; and as the whole of [my]_0-i patience is now spun off the distaff , [I]_0-i peremptorily desire [you]_0-i to rise from that bed , and vacate [this room]_{740-this room} . "_[0-i] " Passionate thing ! [Your]_0-i face is the colour of a coquelicot . [I]_0-i wonder what always makes [you]_0-i so mighty testy a l'endroit du gros Jean ? ' [John Anderson]_{349-john anderson} , [[my]_0-i Joe]_{6265-my joe} , [John]_{349-john anderson} ! ' Oh , the distinguished name ! "_[0-i] Thrilling with exasperation , to which it would have been sheer folly to have given vent - for there was no contending with that unsubstantial feather , that mealy - winged moth - [I]_0-i extinguished [my]_0-i taper , locked [[my]_0-i bureau]_{6071-my bureau} , and left [her]_2643-she , since [she]_2643-she would not leave [me]_0-i . Small - beer as [she]_2643-she was , [she]_2643-she had turned insufferably acid . The morrow was Thursday and a half - holiday . Breakfast was over ; [I]_0-i had withdrawn to the first classe . The dreaded hour , the post - hour , was nearing , and [I]_0-i sat waiting it , much as [a ghost - seer]_{2644-a ghost - seer} might wait [his]_{2644-a ghost - seer} spectre . Less than ever was a letter probable ; still , strive as [I]_0-i would , [I]_0-i could not forget that it was possible . As the moments lessened , a restlessness and fear almost beyond the average assailed [me]_0-i . It was a day of winter east wind , and [I]_0-i had now for some time entered into that dreary fellowship with the winds and their changes , so little known , so incomprehensible to [the healthy]_{2645-the healthy} . [The north and east]_{2646-the north and east} owned a terrific influence , making all pain more poignant , all sorrow sadder . [The south]_{2647-the south} could calm , the west sometimes cheer : unless , indeed , [they]_{2646-the north and east} brought on [their]_{2646-the north and east} wings the burden of thunder - clouds , under the weight and warmth of which all energy died . Bitter and dark as was this January day , [I]_0-i remember leaving [the classe]_{2648-the classe} , and running down without bonnet to the bottom of [the long garden]_{2649-the long garden} , and then lingering amongst the stripped shrubs , in the forlorn hope that [the postman]_{2650-the postman} 's ring might occur while [I]_0-i was out of hearing , and [I]_0-i might thus be spared the thrill which some particular nerve or nerves , almost gnawed through with the unremitting tooth of a fixed idea , were becoming wholly unfit to support . [I]_0-i lingered as long as [I]_0-i dared without fear of attracting attention by [my]_0-i absence . [I]_0-i muffled [my]_0-i head in [my]_0-i apron , and stopped [my]_0-i ears in terror of the torturing clang , sure to be followed by such blank silence , such barren vacuum for [me]_0-i . At last [I]_0-i ventured to re - enter [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} , where , as it was not yet nine o'clock , [no pupils]_{2652-no pupils} had been admitted . The first thing seen was a white object on [my]_0-i black desk , a white , flat object . The post had , indeed , arrived ; by [me]_0-i unheard . [Rosine]_203-rosine had visited [[my]_0-i cell]_{2653-my cell} , and , like [some angel]_{2654-some angel} , had left behind [her]_203-rosine a bright token of [her]_203-rosine presence . That shining thing on the desk was indeed a letter , a real letter ; [I]_0-i saw so much at the distance of three yards , and as [I]_0-i had but one correspondent on [earth]_4454-earth , from that one it must come . [He]_2656-he remembered [me]_0-i yet . How deep a pulse of gratitude sent new life through [my]_0-i heart . Drawing near , bending and looking on the letter , in trembling but almost certain hope of seeing a known hand , it was [my]_0-i lot to find , on the contrary , an autograph for the moment deemed unknown - a pale female scrawl , instead of a firm , masculine character . [I]_0-i then thought fate was too hard for [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i said , audibly , " This is cruel . "_[0-i] But [I]_0-i got over that pain also . Life is still life , whatever its pangs : [our]_2657-our eyes and ears and their use remain with [us]_2657-our , though the prospect of what pleases be wholly withdrawn , and the sound of what consoles be quite silenced . [I]_0-i opened the billet : by this time [I]_0-i had recognised its handwriting as perfectly familiar . It was dated " La Terrasse , "_[0-i] and it ran thus : - " DEAR [LUCY]_333-lucy , - It occurs to [me]_0-i to inquire what [you]_333-lucy have been doing with [yourself]_333-lucy for the last month or two ? Not that [I]_0-i suspect [you]_333-lucy would have the least difficulty in giving an account of [your]_333-lucy proceedings . [I]_0-i daresay [you]_333-lucy have been just as busy and as happy as [ourselves]_2657-our at [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} . As to [Graham]_135-graham , [his]_135-graham professional connection extends daily : [he]_135-graham is so much sought after , so much engaged , that [I]_0-i tell [him]_135-graham [he]_135-graham will grow quite conceited . Like [a right good mother]_{6266-a right good mother} , as [I]_0-i am , [I]_0-i do [my]_0-i best to keep [him]_135-graham down : no flattery does [he]_135-graham get from [me]_0-i , as [you]_333-lucy know . And yet , [Lucy]_333-lucy , [he]_135-graham is [a fine fellow]_{6267-a fine fellow} : [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's heart dances at the sight of [him]_135-graham . After being hurried here and there the whole day , and passing the ordeal of fifty sorts of tempers , and combating a hundred caprices , and sometimes witnessing cruel sufferings - perhaps , occasionally , as [I]_0-i tell [him]_2658-him , inflicting them - at night [he]_2658-him still comes [home]_542-home to [me]_0-i in such kindly , pleasant mood , that really , [I]_0-i seem to live in a sort of moral antipodes , and on these January evenings [my]_0-i day rises when [other people]_{1151-other people} 's night sets in . "_[0-i] Still [he]_2658-him needs keeping in order , and correcting , and repressing , and [I]_0-i do [him]_2658-him that good service ; but [the boy]_{880-the boy} is so elastic there is no such thing as vexing [him]_2658-him thoroughly . When [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i have at last driven [him]_2658-him to the sullens , [he]_2658-him turns on [me]_0-i with jokes for retaliation : but [you]_2660-you know [him]_2658-him and all [his]_2658-him iniquities , and [I]_0-i am but [an elderly simpleton]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} to make [him]_2658-him the subject of this epistle . " As for [me]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} , [I]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} have had [[my]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} old Bretton agent]_{6271-my old bretton agent} here on a visit , and have been plunged overhead and ears in business matters . [I]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} do so wish to regain for [Graham]_135-graham at least some part of what [[his]_135-graham father]_{6272-his father} left [him]_135-graham . [He]_2658-him laughs to scorn [my]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} anxiety on this point , bidding [me]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} look and see how [he]_2658-him can provide for [himself]_2658-him and [me]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} too , and asking what [the old lady]_{1842-the old lady} can possibly want that [she]_{1842-the old lady} has not ; hinting about sky - blue turbans ; accusing [me]_{2661-an elderly simpleton} of an ambition to wear diamonds , keep [livery servants]_{6274-livery servants} , have [an hotel]_{2576-an hotel} , and lead the fashion amongst [the English clan]_{6276-the english clan} in [Villette]_3-villette . "_{[2661-an elderly simpleton]} Talking of sky - blue turbans , [I]_0-i wish [you]_2662-you had been with [us]_2663-us the other evening . [He]_2664-he had come in really tired , and after [I]_0-i had given [him]_2664-he [his]_2664-he tea , [he]_2664-he threw [himself]_2664-he into [my]_0-i chair with [his]_2664-he customary presumption . To [my]_0-i great delight , [he]_2664-he dropped asleep . [You]_2662-you know how [he]_2664-he teases [me]_0-i about being drowsy ; [I]_0-i , who never , by any chance , close an eye by daylight . While [he]_2664-he slept , [I]_0-i thought [he]_2664-he looked very bonny , [Lucy]_333-lucy : fool as [I]_0-i am to be so proud of [him]_2664-he ; but who can help it ? Show [me]_0-i [[his]_2664-he peer]_{2665-his peer} . Look where [I]_0-i will , [I]_0-i see nothing like [him]_2664-he in [Villette]_3-villette . Well , [I]_0-i took it into [my]_0-i head to play [him]_2664-he a trick : so [I]_0-i brought out the sky - blue turban , and handling it with gingerly precaution , [I]_0-i managed to invest [his]_2664-he brows with this grand adornment . [I]_0-i assure [you]_2666-you it did not at all misbecome [him]_2664-he ; [he]_2664-he looked quite Eastern , except that [he]_2664-he is so fair . [Nobody]_4256-nobody , however , can accuse [him]_2664-he of having red hair now - it is genuine chestnut - a dark , glossy chestnut ; and when [I]_0-i put [my]_0-i large cashmere about [him]_2664-he , there was as fine [a young bey]_{2668-a young bey} , dey , or pacha improvised as [you]_2666-you would wish to see . " It was good entertainment ; but only half - enjoyed , since [I]_{2668-a young bey} was alone : [you]_2666-you should have been [there]_512-there . "_{[2668-a young bey]} In due time [[my]_0-i lord]_{2669-my lord} awoke : the looking - glass above the fireplace soon intimated to [him]_2664-he [his]_2664-he plight : as [you]_2666-you may imagine , [I]_0-i now live under threat and dread of vengeance . " But to come to the gist of [my]_{350-louisa bretton} letter . [I]_{350-louisa bretton} know Thursday is a half- holiday in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} : be ready , then , by five in the afternoon , at which hour [I]_{350-louisa bretton} will send [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} to take [you]_2666-you out to [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} . Be sure to come : [you]_2666-you may meet [some old acquaintance]_{6280-some old acquaintance} . Good - by , [[my]_{350-louisa bretton} wise , dear , grave little god - daughter]_{6281-my wise , dear , grave little god - daughter} . - Very truly [yours]_2666-you , "_{[350-louisa bretton]} [LOUISA BRETTON]_{350-louisa bretton} . " . Now , a letter like that sets one to rights ! [I]_{350-louisa bretton} might still be sad after reading that letter , but [I]_{350-louisa bretton} was more composed ; not exactly cheered , perhaps , but relieved . [[My]_{350-louisa bretton} friends]_{2626-my friends} , at least , were well and happy : no accident had occurred to [Graham]_135-graham ; no illness had seized [his]_135-graham mother- calamities that had so long been [my]_{350-louisa bretton} dream and thought . [Their]_{2626-my friends} feelings for [me]_{350-louisa bretton} too were - as they had been . Yet , how strange it was to look on [Mrs]_6283-mrs : [Bretton]_135-graham 's seven weeks and contrast them with [my]_{350-louisa bretton} seven weeks ! Also , how very wise it is in [people placed in an exceptional position]_{6284-people placed in an exceptional position} to hold [their]_{6284-people placed in an exceptional position} tongues and not rashly declare how such position galls [them]_{6284-people placed in an exceptional position} ! [The world]_{811-the world} can understand well enough the process of perishing for want of food : perhaps [few persons]_{6286-few persons} can enter into or follow out that of going mad from solitary confinement . [They]_{6286-few persons} see [the long - buried prisoner]_{6287-the long - buried prisoner} disinterred , [a maniac]_{6288-a maniac} or [an idiot]_{6289-an idiot} ! - how [his]_{6287-the long - buried prisoner} senses left [him]_{6287-the long - buried prisoner} - how [his]_{6287-the long - buried prisoner} nerves , first inflamed , underwent nameless agony , and then sunk to palsy - is a subject too intricate for examination , too abstract for popular comprehension . Speak of it ! [you]_6290-you might almost as well stand up in [an European market - place]_{6291-an european market - place} , and propound dark sayings in that language and mood wherein [Nebuchadnezzar]_{236-nebuchadnezzar} , [the imperial hypochondriac]_{6292-the imperial hypochondriac} , communed with [his]_{236-nebuchadnezzar} baffled Chaldeans . And long , long may [the minds to whom such themes are no mystery]_{6293-the minds to whom such themes are no mystery} - by whom [their]_{6293-the minds to whom such themes are no mystery} bearings are sympathetically seized - be few in number , and rare of rencounter . Long may it be generally thought that physical privations alone merit compassion , and that the rest is a figment . When [the world]_{811-the world} was younger and haler than now , moral trials were a deeper mystery still : perhaps in [all the land of [Israel]_89-israel]_{6295-all the land of israel} there was but [one Saul]_{6296-one saul} - certainly but one [David]_351-david to soothe or comprehend [him]_{6287-the long - buried prisoner} . The keen , still cold of the morning was succeeded , later in the day , by a sharp breathing from [Russian]_90-russian wastes : [the cold zone]_{6297-the cold zone} sighed over [the temperate zone]_{6298-the temperate zone} , and froze it fast . A heavy firmament , dull , and thick with snow , sailed up from [the north]_{6299-the north} , and settled over expectant [Europe]_17-europe . Towards afternoon began the descent . [I]_{350-louisa bretton} feared [no carriage]_{6300-no carriage} would come , the white tempest raged so dense and wild . But trust [[my]_{350-louisa bretton} godmother]_{506-my godmother} ! Once having asked , [she]_{506-my godmother} would have [[her]_{506-my godmother} guest]_{6302-her guest} . About six o'clock [I]_{350-louisa bretton} was lifted from [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} over [the already blocked - up front steps of [the chateau]_{5779-the chateau}]_{6304-the already blocked - up front steps of the chateau} , and put in at the door of [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} . Running through [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} , and up - stairs to [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} , there [I]_{350-louisa bretton} found [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} - a summer - day in [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} own person . Had [I]_{350-louisa bretton} been twice as cold as [I]_{350-louisa bretton} was , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} kind kiss and cordial clasp would have warmed [me]_{350-louisa bretton} . Inured now for so long a time to rooms with bare boards , black benches , desks , and stoves , [the blue saloon]_{6308-the blue saloon} seemed to [me]_{350-louisa bretton} gorgeous . In [its]_{6308-the blue saloon} Christmas - like fire alone there was a clear and crimson splendour which quite dazzled [me]_{350-louisa bretton} . When [[my]_{350-louisa bretton} godmother]_{506-my godmother} had held [my]_{350-louisa bretton} hand for a little while , and chatted with [me]_{350-louisa bretton} , and scolded [me]_{350-louisa bretton} for having become thinner than when [she]_{506-my godmother} last saw [me]_{350-louisa bretton} , [she]_{506-my godmother} professed to discover that the snow - wind had disordered [my]_{350-louisa bretton} hair , and sent [me]_{350-louisa bretton} up - [stairs]_593-stairs to make it neat and remove [my]_{350-louisa bretton} shawl . Repairing to [[my]_{350-louisa bretton} own little sea - green room]_{6311-my own little sea - green room} , there also [I]_{350-louisa bretton} found a bright fire , and candles too were lit : a tall waxlight stood on each side the great looking glass ; but between the candles , and before the glass , appeared something dressing itself - [an airy , fairy thing - small , slight , white - a winter spirit]_{6312-an airy , fairy thing - small , slight , white - a winter spirit} . [I]_{350-louisa bretton} declare , for one moment [I]_{350-louisa bretton} thought of [Graham]_135-graham and [his]_135-graham spectral illusions . With distrustful eye [I]_{350-louisa bretton} noted the details of this new vision . It wore white , sprinkled slightly with drops of scarlet ; its girdle was red ; it had something in its hair leafy , yet shining - a little wreath with an evergreen gloss . Spectral or not , here truly was nothing frightful , and [I]_{350-louisa bretton} advanced . Turning quick upon [me]_{350-louisa bretton} , a large eye , under long lashes , flashed over [me]_{350-louisa bretton} , [the intruder]_{6313-the intruder} : the lashes were as dark as long , and they softened with their pencilling the orb [they]_6314-they guarded . "_{[350-louisa bretton]} Ah ! [you]_2670-you are come ! " [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} breathed out , in a soft , quiet voice , and [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} smiled slowly , and gazed intently . [I]_2670-you knew [her]_{348-miss de bassompierre} now . Having only once seen that sort of face , with that cast of fine and delicate featuring , [I]_2670-you could not but know [her]_{348-miss de bassompierre} . "_[2670-you] [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} , " [I]_2670-you pronounced . "_[2670-you] No , " was the reply , "_{[348-miss de bassompierre]} not [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} for [you]_2670-you ! " [I]_{348-miss de bassompierre} did not inquire who then [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} might be , but waited voluntary information . "_{[348-miss de bassompierre]} [You]_2670-you are changed , but still [you]_2670-you are [yourself]_2670-you , " [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} said , approaching nearer . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i remember [you]_2670-you well - [your]_2670-you countenance , the colour of [your]_2670-you hair , the outline of [your]_2670-you face .... " [I]_2670-you had moved to the fire , and [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} stood opposite , and gazed into [me]_2670-you ; and as [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} gazed , [her]_{348-miss de bassompierre} face became gradually more and more expressive of thought and feeling , till at last a dimness quenched [her]_{348-miss de bassompierre} clear vision . "_[2670-you] It makes [me]_0-i almost cry to look so far back , " said [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} : "_[0-i] but as to being sorry , or sentimental , do n't think it : on the contrary , [I]_0-i am quite pleased and glad . " Interested , yet altogether at fault , [I]_0-i knew not what to say . At last [I]_0-i stammered , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i never met [you]_0-i till that night , some weeks ago , when [you]_0-i were hurt ... ? " [She]_{348-miss de bassompierre} smiled . "_[2670-you] [You]_2670-you have forgotten then that [I]_0-i have sat on [your]_2670-you knee , been lifted in [your]_2670-you arms , even shared [your]_2670-you pillow ? [You]_2670-you no longer remember the night when [I]_0-i came crying , like [a naughty little child]_{2671-a naughty little child} as [I]_0-i was , to [your]_2670-you bedside , and [you]_2670-you took [me]_0-i in . [You]_2670-you have no memory for the comfort and protection by which [you]_2670-you soothed an acute distress ? Go back to [Bretton]_135-graham . Remember [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} . " At last [I]_{134-mr. home} saw it all . "_{[134-mr. home]} And [you]_0-i are [little Polly]_139-polly ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am [Paulina Mary Home de Bassompierre]_141-paulina . " How time can change ! [Little Polly]_139-polly wore in [her]_139-polly pale , small features , [her]_139-polly fairy symmetry , [her]_139-polly varying expression , a certain promise of interest and grace ; but [Paulina Mary]_141-paulina was become beautiful - not with the beauty that strikes the eye like a rose - orbed , ruddy , and replete ; not with the plump , and pink , and flaxen attributes of [[her]_139-polly blond cousin]_{6315-her blond cousin} [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ; but [her]_139-polly seventeen years had brought [her]_139-polly a refined and tender charm which did not lie in complexion , though [hers]_139-polly was fair and clear ; nor in outline , though [her]_139-polly features were sweet , and [her]_139-polly limbs perfectly turned ; but , [I]_141-paulina think , rather in a subdued glow from the soul outward . This was not an opaque vase , of material however costly , but a lamp chastely lucent , guarding from extinction , yet not hiding from worship , a flame vital and vestal . In speaking of [her]_139-polly attractions , [I]_141-paulina would not exaggerate language ; but , indeed , they seemed to [me]_141-paulina very real and engaging . What though all was on a small scale , it was the perfume which gave this white violet distinction , and made it superior to the broadest camelia - the fullest dahlia that ever bloomed . "_{[141-paulina]} Ah ! and [you]_0-i remember the old time at [Bretton]_135-graham ? " "_[0-i] Better , " said [she]_139-polly , "_[0-i] better , perhaps , than [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i remember it with minute distinctness : not only the time , but the days of the time , and the hours of the days . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i must have forgotten some things ? " "_[0-i] Very little , [I]_0-i imagine . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i were then [a little creature of quick feelings]_{2672-a little creature of quick feelings} : [you]_0-i must , long ere this , have outgrown the impressions with which joy and grief , affection and bereavement , stamped [your]_0-i mind ten years ago . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i think [I]_0-i have forgotten whom [I]_0-i liked , and in what degree [I]_0-i liked them when [a child]_{4415-a child} ? " "_[0-i] The sharpness must be gone - the point , the poignancy - the deep imprint must be softened away and effaced ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have a good memory for those days . " [She]_139-polly looked as if [she]_139-polly had . [Her]_139-polly eyes were the eyes of [one who can remember]_{6316-one who can remember} ; [one whose childhood does not fade like a dream , nor whose youth vanish like a sunbeam]_{6317-one whose childhood does not fade like a dream , nor whose youth vanish like a sunbeam} . [She]_139-polly would not take life , loosely and incoherently , in parts , and let one season slip as [she]_139-polly entered on another : [she]_139-polly would retain and add ; often review from the commencement , and so grow in harmony and consistency as [she]_139-polly grew in years . Still [I]_0-i could not quite admit the conviction that all the pictures which now crowded upon [me]_0-i were vivid and visible to [her]_139-polly . [Her]_139-polly fond attachments , [her]_139-polly sports and contests with [a well - loved playmate]_{6318-a well - loved playmate} , the patient , true devotion of [[her]_139-polly child]_{552-her child} 's heart , [her]_139-polly fears , [her]_139-polly delicate reserves , [her]_139-polly little trials , the last piercing pain of separation .... [I]_0-i retraced these things , and shook [my]_0-i head incredulous . [She]_139-polly persisted . "_[0-i] [The child of seven years]_{2674-the child of seven years} lives yet in [the girl of seventeen]_{2675-the girl of seventeen} , " said [she]_139-polly . "_[0-i] [You]_2676-you used to be excessively fond of [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , " [I]_2676-you remarked , intending to test [her]_139-polly . [She]_139-polly set [me]_2676-you right at once . "_[2676-you] Not excessively fond , " said [she]_139-polly ; "_[2676-you] [I]_0-i liked [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} : [I]_0-i respected [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} as [I]_0-i should do now : [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} seems to [me]_0-i very little altered . " "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [She]_{130-mrs. bretton} is not much changed , " [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} assented . [We]_6320-we were silent a few minutes . Glancing round [the room]_{600-the room} [she]_139-polly said , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} There are several things here that used to be at [Bretton]_135-graham ! [I]_0-i remember that pincushion and that looking - glass . " Evidently [she]_139-polly was not deceived in [her]_139-polly estimate of [her]_139-polly own memory ; not , at least , so far . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i think , then , [you]_0-i would have known [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ? " [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} went on . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [I]_0-i perfectly remembered [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} ; the turn of [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} features , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} olive complexion , and black hair , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} height , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} walk , [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} voice . " "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , of course , " [I]_{130-mrs. bretton} pursued , "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} would be out of the question : and , indeed , as [I]_0-i saw [your]_0-i first interview with [him]_135-graham , [I]_0-i am aware that [he]_135-graham appeared to [you]_0-i as [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} . " "_[135-graham] That first night [I]_0-i was puzzled , " [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} answered . "_[0-i] How did the recognition between [him]_135-graham and [[your]_0-i father]_{4386-your father} come about ? " "_[2679-they] [They]_2679-they exchanged cards . The names [Graham Bretton]_135-graham and [Home de Bassompierre]_141-paulina gave rise to questions and explanations . That was on the second day ; but before then [I]_0-i was beginning to know something . " "_[0-i] How - know something ? " "_[0-i] Why , " [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} said , "_[0-i] how strange it is that [most people]_{5910-most people} seem so slow to feel the truth - not to see , but feel ! When [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham had visited [me]_0-i a few times , and sat near and talked to [me]_0-i ; when [I]_0-i had observed the look in [his]_135-graham eyes , the expression about [his]_135-graham mouth , the form of [his]_135-graham chin , the carriage of [his]_135-graham head , and all that [we]_2681-we do observe in [persons who approach [us]_2681-we]_{2682-persons who approach us} - how could [I]_0-i avoid being led by [association]_{2683-association} to think of [Graham Bretton]_135-graham ? [Graham]_135-graham was slighter than [he]_135-graham , and not grown so tall , and had a smoother face , and longer and lighter hair , and spoke - not so deeply - more like [a girl]_{517-a girl} ; but yet [he]_135-graham is [Graham]_135-graham , just as [I]_0-i am little [Polly]_141-paulina , or [you]_2685-you are [Lucy Snowe]_333-lucy . " [I]_333-lucy thought the same , but [I]_333-lucy wondered to find [my]_333-lucy thoughts [hers]_2685-you : there are certain things in which [we]_6322-we so rarely meet with [[our]_6322-we double]_{6323-our double} that it seems a miracle when that chance befalls . "_[333-lucy] [You]_2685-you and [Graham]_135-graham were once [playmates]_{2686-playmates} . " "_[2685-you] And do [you]_2685-you remember that ? " [she]_2685-you questioned in [her]_2685-you turn . "_[2685-you] No doubt [he]_135-graham will remember it also , " said [I.]_0-i "_[135-graham] [I]_0-i have not asked [him]_135-graham : few things would surprise [me]_0-i so much as to find that [he]_135-graham did . [I]_0-i suppose [his]_135-graham disposition is still gay and careless ? " "_[135-graham] Was it so formerly ? Did it so strike [you]_2685-you ? Do [you]_2685-you thus remember [him]_135-graham ? " "_[2685-you] [I]_0-i scarcely remember [him]_135-graham in any other light . Sometimes [he]_135-graham was studious ; sometimes [he]_135-graham was merry : but whether busy with [his]_135-graham books or disposed for play , it was chiefly the books or game [he]_135-graham thought of ; not much heeding those with whom [he]_135-graham read or amused [himself]_135-graham . " "_[135-graham] Yet to [you]_2685-you [he]_135-graham was partial . " "_[135-graham] Partial to [me]_0-i ? Oh , no ! [he]_135-graham had [other playmates]_{2687-other playmates} - [[his]_135-graham school - fellows]_{2688-his school - fellows} ; [I]_0-i was of little consequence to [him]_135-graham , except on Sundays : yes , [he]_135-graham was kind on Sundays . [I]_0-i remember walking with [him]_135-graham hand - in - hand to [[St. Mary]_{352-st. mary} 's]_{2689-st. mary 's} , and [his]_135-graham finding the places in [my]_0-i prayer - book ; and how good and still [he]_135-graham was on Sunday evenings ! So mild for [such a proud , lively boy]_{2690-such a proud , lively boy} ; so patient with all [my]_0-i blunders in reading ; and so wonderfully to be depended on , for [he]_135-graham never spent those evenings from [home]_542-home : [I]_0-i had a constant fear that [he]_135-graham would accept some invitation and forsake [us]_2692-our ; but [he]_135-graham never did , nor seemed ever to wish to do it . Thus , of course , it can be no more . [I]_0-i suppose Sunday will now be [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham 's dining - out day .... ? " "_[135-graham] [Children]_{4815-children} , come down ! " here called [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} from below . [Paulina]_141-paulina would still have lingered , but [I]_{4815-children} inclined to descend : [we]_2692-our went down . CHAPTER XXV . [THE LITTLE COUNTESS]_{6324-the little countess} . Cheerful as [[my]_{4815-children} godmother]_{506-my godmother} naturally was , and entertaining as , for [our]_2692-our sakes , [she]_{506-my godmother} made a point of being , there was no true enjoyment that evening at [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} , till , through the wild howl of the winter- night , were heard the signal sounds of arrival . How often , while [women]_4398-women and [girls]_702-girls sit warm at snug fire - sides , [their]_6328-their hearts and imaginations are doomed to divorce from the comfort surrounding [[their]_6328-their persons]_{6329-their persons} , forced out by night to wander through dark ways , to dare stress of weather , to contend with the snow - blast , to wait at lonely gates and stiles in wildest storms , watching and listening to see and hear [the father]_{2571-the father} , [the son]_{6331-the son} , [the husband]_{4563-the husband} coming [home]_542-home . [Father]_1803-father and [son]_6335-son came at last to [the chateau]_{5779-the chateau} : for [the Count de Bassompierre]_{353-the count de bassompierre} that night accompanied [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . [I]_{4815-children} know not which of [[our]_2692-our trio]_{6337-our trio} heard the horses first ; the asperity , the violence of the weather warranted [our]_2692-our running down into [the hall]_{573-the hall} to meet and greet [the two riders]_{6339-the two riders} as [they]_{6339-the two riders} came in ; but [they]_{6339-the two riders} warned [us]_2692-our to keep [our]_2692-our distance : both were white - two mountains of snow ; and indeed [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , seeing [their]_{6339-the two riders} condition , ordered [them]_{6339-the two riders} instantly to [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen} ; prohibiting [them]_{6339-the two riders} , at [their]_{6339-the two riders} peril , from setting foot on [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} carpeted staircase till [they]_{6339-the two riders} had severally put off that mask of Old Christmas [they]_{6339-the two riders} now affected . Into [the kitchen]_{4409-the kitchen} , however , [we]_2692-our could not help following [them]_{6339-the two riders} : it was [a large old Dutch kitchen]_{6342-a large old dutch kitchen} , picturesque and pleasant . [The little white Countess]_{6343-the little white countess} danced in a circle about [[her]_{6343-the little white countess} equally white sire]_{6344-her equally white sire} , clapping [her]_{6343-the little white countess} hands and crying , "_{[4815-children]} [Papa]_140-papa , [papa]_4218-papa , [you]_4218-papa look like an enormous Polar bear . " [The bear]_{6345-the bear} shook [himself]_{6345-the bear} , and [the little sprite]_{6346-the little sprite} fled far from the frozen shower . Back [she]_{6343-the little white countess} came , however , laughing , and eager to aid in removing the arctic disguise . [The Count]_{6347-the count} , at last issuing from [his]_{6347-the count} dreadnought , threatened to overwhelm [her]_{6343-the little white countess} with it as with an avalanche . "_[4218-papa] Come , then , " said [she]_{6343-the little white countess} , bending to invite the fall , and when it was playfully advanced above [her]_{6343-the little white countess} head , bounding out of reach like some little chamois . [Her]_{6343-the little white countess} movements had the supple softness , the velvet grace of a kitten ; [her]_{6343-the little white countess} laugh was clearer than the ring of silver and crystal ; as [she]_{6343-the little white countess} took [[her]_{6343-the little white countess} sire]_{639-her sire} 's cold hands and rubbed them , and stood on tiptoe to reach [his]_{639-her sire} lips for a kiss , there seemed to shine round [her]_{6343-the little white countess} a halo of loving delight . [The grave and reverend seignor]_{6349-the grave and reverend seignor} looked down on [her]_{6343-the little white countess} as [men]_4397-men do look on what is the apple of [their]_4397-men eye . "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , " said [he]_0-i : "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} what am [I]_0-i to do with [this daughter]_{2695-this daughter} or daughterling of [mine]_0-i ? [She]_{2695-this daughter} neither grows in wisdom nor in stature . Do n't [you]_0-i find [her]_{2695-this daughter} pretty nearly as much [the child]_{4206-the child} as [she]_{2695-this daughter} was ten years ago ? " "_[0-i] [She]_{2695-this daughter} can not be more [the child]_{4206-the child} than [this great boy of mine]_{2698-this great boy of mine} , " said [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , who was in conflict with [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} son]_{532-her son} about some change of dress [she]_{130-mrs. bretton} deemed advisable , and which [he]_{532-her son} resisted . [He]_{532-her son} stood leaning against [the Dutch dresser]_{6352-the dutch dresser} , laughing and keeping [her]_4272-mamma at arm 's length . "_{[2695-this daughter]} Come , [mamma]_4272-mamma , " said [he]_{532-her son} , "_[4272-mamma] by way of compromise , and to secure for [us]_2700-us inward as well as outward warmth , let [us]_2700-us have a Christmas wassail - cup , and toast Old [England]_19-england here , on the hearth . " So , while [the Count]_{6347-the count} stood by the fire , and [Paulina Mary]_141-paulina still danced to and fro - happy in [the liberty of [the wide hall - like kitchen]_{6355-the wide hall - like kitchen}]_{6354-the liberty of the wide hall - like kitchen} - [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} [herself]_{130-mrs. bretton} instructed [Martha]_286-martha to spice and heat the wassail - bowl , and , pouring the draught into a Bretton flagon , it was served round , reaming hot , by means of a small silver vessel , which [I]_{2695-this daughter} recognised as [Graham]_135-graham 's christening - cup . "_{[2695-this daughter]} Here 's to [Auld Lang Syne]_{354-auld lang syne} ! " said [the Count]_{6347-the count} ; holding the glancing cup on high . Then , looking at [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . - "_[2700-us] [We]_2700-us twa [ha]_2701-ha ' paidlet [i]_0-i ' the burn Fra morning sun till dine , But seas between [us]_2700-us braid ha ' roared [Sin ' auld lane syne]_{2702-sin ' auld lane syne} . " And surely ye'll be [your]_141-paulina pint - stoup , And surely [I]_2700-us 'll be [mine]_2700-us ; And [we]_2700-us 'll taste a cup o ' kindness yet For auld lang syne . "_[2700-us] " Scotch ! Scotch ! "_{[141-paulina]} cried [Paulina]_141-paulina ; " [papa]_4218-papa is talking [Scotch]_355-scotch ; and Scotch [he]_4218-papa is , partly . [We]_2700-us are [Home]_542-home and [de Bassompierre]_141-paulina , [Caledonian and Gallic]_{356-caledonian and gallic} . "_{[141-paulina]} " And is that a Scotch reel [you]_141-paulina are dancing , [[you]_141-paulina Highland fairy]_{6359-you highland fairy} ? "_{[643-her father]} asked [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} . " [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , there will be a green ring growing up in the middle of [[your]_{130-mrs. bretton} kitchen]_{6360-your kitchen} shortly . [I]_{643-her father} would not answer for [her]_6361-her being quite cannie : [she]_6361-her is [a strange little mortal]_{6362-a strange little mortal} . "_{[643-her father]} " Tell [Lucy]_333-lucy to dance with [me]_{134-mr. home} , [papa]_4218-papa ; there is [Lucy Snowe]_333-lucy . "_{[134-mr. home]} [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} there was still quite as much about [him]_{134-mr. home} of plain Mr. Home as of [proud Count de Bassompierre]_{353-the count de bassompierre} held [his]_{353-the count de bassompierre} hand out to [me]_0-i , saying kindly , " [he]_{353-the count de bassompierre} remembered [me]_{353-the count de bassompierre} well ; and , even had [his]_{353-the count de bassompierre} own memory been less trustworthy , [my]_{353-the count de bassompierre} name was so often on [[his]_{353-the count de bassompierre} daughter]_{686-his daughter} 's lips , and [he]_{353-the count de bassompierre} had listened to so many long tales about [me]_{353-the count de bassompierre} , [I]_{353-the count de bassompierre} should seem like [an old acquaintance]_{1862-an old acquaintance} . "_{[353-the count de bassompierre]} [Every one now]_{2704-every one now} had tasted the wassail - cup except [Paulina]_141-paulina , whose pas de fee , ou de fantaisie , [nobody]_4256-nobody thought of interrupting to offer so profanatory a draught ; but [she]_141-paulina was not to be overlooked , nor baulked of [her]_141-paulina mortal privileges . " Let [me]_141-paulina taste , "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina to [Graham]_135-graham , as [he]_135-graham was putting the cup on the shelf of the dresser out of [her]_141-paulina reach . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} and [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} were now engaged in conversation . [Dr. John]_135-graham had not been unobservant of the fairy 's dance ; [he]_135-graham had watched it , and [he]_135-graham had liked it . To say nothing of the softness and beauty of the movements , eminently grateful to [his]_135-graham grace - loving eye , that ease in [[[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} 's house]_{2707-his mother 's house} charmed [him]_135-graham , for it set [him]_135-graham at ease : again [she]_141-paulina seemed [a child]_{4415-a child} for [him]_135-graham - again , almost [[his]_135-graham playmate]_{2709-his playmate} . [I]_0-i wondered how [he]_135-graham would speak to [her]_141-paulina ; [I]_0-i had not yet seen [him]_135-graham address [her]_141-paulina ; [his]_135-graham first words proved that the old days of " little [Polly]_141-paulina "_[135-graham] had been recalled to [his]_135-graham mind by this evening 's child - like light - heartedness . " [[Your]_135-graham ladyship]_{4279-your ladyship} wishes for the tankard ? "_[135-graham] " [I]_135-graham think [I]_135-graham said so . [I]_135-graham think [I]_135-graham intimated as much . "_[135-graham] " Could n't consent to a step of the kind on any account . Sorry for it , but could n't do it . "_[135-graham] " Why ? [I]_135-graham am quite well now : it ca n't break [my]_135-graham collar - bone again , or dislocate [my]_135-graham shoulder . Is it wine ? "_[135-graham] " No ; nor dew . "_[135-graham] " [I]_135-graham do n't want dew ; [I]_135-graham do n't like dew : but what is it ? "_[135-graham] " Ale - strong ale - old October ; brewed , perhaps , when [I]_135-graham was born . "_[135-graham] " [It]_6367-it must be curious : is it good ? "_[135-graham] " Excessively good . "_[135-graham] And [he]_135-graham took it down , administered to [himself]_135-graham a second dose of this mighty elixir , expressed in [his]_135-graham mischievous eyes extreme contentment with the same , and solemnly replaced the cup on the shelf . " [I]_141-paulina should like a little , "_{[141-paulina]} said [Paulina]_141-paulina , looking up ; " [I]_141-paulina never had any ' old October : ' is it sweet ? "_{[141-paulina]} " Perilously sweet , "_[135-graham] said [Graham]_135-graham . [She]_141-paulina continued to look up exactly with the countenance of [a child that longs for some prohibited dainty]_{2710-a child that longs for some prohibited dainty} . At last [the Doctor]_{4288-the doctor} relented , took it down , and indulged [himself]_135-graham in the gratification of letting [her]_141-paulina taste from [his]_135-graham hand ; [his]_135-graham eyes , always expressive in the revelation of pleasurable feelings , luminously and smilingly avowed that it was a gratification ; and [he]_135-graham prolonged it by so regulating the position of the cup that only a drop at a time could reach the rosy , sipping lips by which its brim was courted . " A little more - a little more , "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina , petulantly touching [his]_135-graham hand with the forefinger , to make [him]_135-graham incline the cup more generously and yieldingly . " It smells of spice and sugar , but [I]_135-graham ca n't taste it ; [your]_135-graham wrist is so stiff , and [you]_135-graham are so stingy . "_[135-graham] [He]_135-graham indulged [her]_141-paulina , whispering , however , with gravity : " Do n't tell [[my]_135-graham mother]_{4268-my mother} or [Lucy]_333-lucy ; [they]_6369-they would n't approve . "_[135-graham] " Nor do [I]_141-paulina , "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina , passing into another tone and manner as soon as [she]_141-paulina had fairly assayed the beverage , just as if it had acted upon [her]_141-paulina like some disenchanting draught , undoing the work of [a wizard]_{2712-a wizard} : " [I]_141-paulina find it anything but sweet ; it is bitter and hot , and takes away [my]_141-paulina breath . [Your]_135-graham old October was only desirable while forbidden . Thank [you]_135-graham , no more . "_{[141-paulina]} And , with a slight bend - careless , but as graceful as [her]_141-paulina dance - [she]_141-paulina glided from [him]_135-graham and rejoined [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} . [I]_0-i think [she]_141-paulina had spoken truth : [the child of seven]_{2714-the child of seven} was in [the girl of seventeen]_{2675-the girl of seventeen} . [Graham]_135-graham looked after [her]_141-paulina a little baffled , a little puzzled ; [his]_135-graham eye was on [her]_141-paulina a good deal during the rest of the evening , but [she]_141-paulina did not seem to notice [him]_135-graham . As [we]_2716-we ascended to [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} for tea , [she]_141-paulina took [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} 's arm : [her]_141-paulina natural place seemed to be at [his]_{643-her father} side ; [her]_141-paulina eyes and [her]_141-paulina ears were dedicated to [him]_{643-her father} . [He]_{643-her father} and [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} were [the chief talkers of [our]_2716-we little party]_{2719-the chief talkers of our little party} , and [Paulina]_141-paulina was [[their]_{2719-the chief talkers of our little party} best listener]_{2720-their best listener} , attending closely to all that was said , prompting the repetition of this or that trait or adventure . " And where were [you]_{643-her father} at such a time , [papa]_4218-papa ? And what did [you]_{643-her father} say then ? And tell [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} what happened on that occasion . "_{[141-paulina]} Thus [she]_141-paulina drew [him]_{643-her father} out . [She]_141-paulina did not again yield to any effervescence of glee ; the infantine sparkle was exhaled for the night : [she]_141-paulina was soft , thoughtful , and docile . It was pretty to see [her]_141-paulina bid good - night ; [her]_141-paulina manner to [Graham]_135-graham was touched with dignity : in [her]_141-paulina very slight smile and quiet bow spoke [the Countess]_{2721-the countess} , and [Graham]_135-graham could not but look grave , and bend responsive . [I]_0-i saw [he]_135-graham hardly knew how to blend together in [his]_135-graham ideas [the dancing fairy and delicate dame]_{2722-the dancing fairy and delicate dame} . Next day , when [we]_2723-we were all assembled round the breakfast - table , shivering and fresh from the morning 's chill ablutions , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} pronounced a decree that [nobody , who was not forced by dire necessity]_{2724-nobody , who was not forced by dire necessity} , should quit [[her]_{130-mrs. bretton} house]_{6212-her house} that day . Indeed , egress seemed next to impossible ; the drift darkened the lower panes of the casement , and , on looking out , [one]_607-one saw the sky and air vexed and dim , the wind and snow in angry conflict . There was no fall now , but what had already descended was torn up from the earth , whirled round by brief shrieking gusts , and cast into a hundred fantastic forms . [The Countess]_{2721-the countess} seconded [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . " [Papa]_140-papa shall not go out , "_{[2721-the countess]} said [she]_{2721-the countess} , placing a seat for [herself]_{2721-the countess} beside [[her]_{2721-the countess} father]_{643-her father} 's arm - chair . " [I]_{2721-the countess} will look after [him]_140-papa . [You]_140-papa wo n't go into [town]_4930-town , will [you]_140-papa , [papa]_4218-papa ? "_{[2721-the countess]} " Ay , and No , "_{[2721-the countess]} was the answer . " If [you]_140-papa and [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} are very good to [me]_{2721-the countess} , [Polly]_141-paulina - kind , [you]_140-papa know , and attentive ; if [you]_140-papa pet [me]_{2721-the countess} in a very nice manner , and make much of [me]_{2721-the countess} , [I]_{2721-the countess} may possibly be induced to wait an hour after breakfast and see whether this razor - edged wind settles . But , [you]_140-papa see , [you]_140-papa give [me]_{2721-the countess} no breakfast ; [you]_140-papa offer [me]_{2721-the countess} nothing : [you]_140-papa let [me]_{2721-the countess} starve . "_{[2721-the countess]} " Quick ! please , [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , and pour out the coffee , "_{[141-paulina]} entreated [Paulina]_141-paulina , " whilst [I]_141-paulina take care of [the Count de Bassompierre]_{353-the count de bassompierre} in other respects : since [he]_{353-the count de bassompierre} grew into [a Count]_{6373-a count} , [he]_{353-the count de bassompierre} has needed so much attention . "_{[141-paulina]} [She]_141-paulina separated and prepared a roll . " There , [papa]_4218-papa , are [your]_4218-papa ' pistolets ' charged , "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina . " And there is some marmalade , just the same sort of marmalade [we]_6375-we used to have at [Bretton]_135-graham , and which [you]_4218-papa said was as good as if it had been conserved in [Scotland]_91-scotland - "_{[141-paulina]} " And which [[your]_4218-papa little ladyship]_{6376-your little ladyship} used to beg for [[my]_{130-mrs. bretton} boy]_{693-my boy} - do [you]_4218-papa remember that ? "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} interposed [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . " Have [you]_4218-papa forgotten how [you]_4218-papa would come to [my]_{130-mrs. bretton} elbow and touch [my]_{130-mrs. bretton} sleeve with the whisper , ' Please , [ma'am]_4221-ma'am , something good for [Graham]_135-graham - a little marmalade , or honey , or jam ? "_{[130-mrs. bretton]} ' " No , [mamma]_4272-mamma , "_[135-graham] broke in [Dr. John]_135-graham , laughing , yet reddening ; " it surely was not so : [I]_135-graham could not have cared for these things . "_[135-graham] " Did [he]_135-graham or did [he]_135-graham not , [Paulina]_141-paulina ? "_{[141-paulina]} " [He]_135-graham liked them , "_{[141-paulina]} asserted [Paulina]_141-paulina . " Never blush for it , [John]_135-graham , "_{[134-mr. home]} said [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , encouragingly . " [I]_{134-mr. home} like [them]_6380-them [myself]_{134-mr. home} yet , and always did . And [Polly]_141-paulina showed [her]_141-paulina sense in catering for [a friend]_{1797-a friend} 's material comforts : it was [I]_{134-mr. home} who put [her]_141-paulina into the way of such good manners - nor do [I]_{134-mr. home} let [her]_141-paulina forget them . [Polly]_141-paulina , offer [me]_{134-mr. home} a small slice of that tongue . "_{[134-mr. home]} " There , [papa]_4218-papa : but remember [you]_4218-papa are only waited upon with this assiduity ; on condition of being persuadable , and reconciling [yourself]_4218-papa to [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} for the day . "_{[141-paulina]} " [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , "_{[6347-the count]} said [the Count]_{6347-the count} , " [I]_{6347-the count} want to get rid of [[my]_{6347-the count} daughter]_{1804-my daughter} - to send [her]_{1804-my daughter} to [school]_675-school . Do [you]_{130-mrs. bretton} know of [any good school]_{6385-any good school} ? "_{[6347-the count]} " There is [[Lucy]_333-lucy 's place]_{6386-lucy 's place} - [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's . "_{[141-paulina]} " [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy is in [a school]_{939-a school} ? "_{[141-paulina]} " [I]_0-i am [a teacher]_{4895-a teacher} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , and was rather glad of the opportunity of saying this . For a little while [I]_0-i had been feeling as if placed in a false position . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} and [son]_6335-son knew [my]_0-i circumstances ; but [the Count]_{6347-the count} and [[his]_{6347-the count} daughter]_{686-his daughter} did not . [They]_2733-they might choose to vary by some shades [their]_2733-they hitherto cordial manner towards [me]_0-i , when aware of [my]_0-i grade in society . [I]_0-i spoke then readily : but a swarm of thoughts [I]_0-i had not anticipated nor invoked , rose dim at the words , making [me]_0-i sigh involuntarily . [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} did not lift [his]_{134-mr. home} eyes from [his]_{134-mr. home} breakfast - plate for about two minutes , nor did [he]_{134-mr. home} speak ; perhaps [he]_{134-mr. home} had not caught the words - perhaps [he]_{134-mr. home} thought that on a confession of that nature , politeness would interdict comment : [the Scotch]_{6172-the scotch} are proverbially proud ; and homely as was [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} in look , simple in habits and tastes , [I]_0-i have all along intimated that [he]_{134-mr. home} was not without [his]_{134-mr. home} share of the national quality . Was [his]_{134-mr. home} a pseudo pride ? was it real dignity ? [I]_0-i leave the question undecided in its wide sense . Where it concerned [me]_0-i individually [I]_0-i can only answer : then , and always , [he]_{134-mr. home} showed [himself]_{134-mr. home} [a true - hearted gentleman]_{2735-a true - hearted gentleman} . By nature [he]_{134-mr. home} was [a feeler]_{2736-a feeler} and [a thinker]_{2737-a thinker} ; over [his]_{134-mr. home} emotions and [his]_{134-mr. home} reflections spread a mellowing of melancholy ; more than a mellowing : in trouble and bereavement it became a cloud . [He]_{134-mr. home} did not know much about [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy ; what [he]_{134-mr. home} knew , [he]_{134-mr. home} did not very accurately comprehend : indeed [his]_{134-mr. home} misconceptions of [my]_0-i character often made [me]_0-i smile ; but [he]_{134-mr. home} saw [my]_0-i walk in life lay rather on the shady side of [the hill]_{2738-the hill} : [he]_{134-mr. home} gave [me]_0-i credit for doing [my]_0-i endeavour to keep the course honestly straight ; [he]_{134-mr. home} would have helped [me]_0-i if [he]_{134-mr. home} could : having no opportunity of helping , [he]_{134-mr. home} still wished [me]_0-i well . When [he]_{134-mr. home} did look at [me]_0-i , [his]_{134-mr. home} eye was kind ; when [he]_{134-mr. home} did speak , [his]_{134-mr. home} voice was benevolent . " [Yours]_0-i , "_{[134-mr. home]} said [he]_{134-mr. home} , " is an arduous calling . [I]_{134-mr. home} wish [you]_0-i health and strength to win in it - success . "_{[134-mr. home]} [[His]_{134-mr. home} fair little daughter]_{2739-his fair little daughter} did not take the information quite so composedly : [she]_{2739-his fair little daughter} fixed on [me]_0-i a pair of eyes wide with wonder - almost with dismay . " Are [you]_{134-mr. home} [a teacher]_{4895-a teacher} ? "_{[2739-his fair little daughter]} cried [she]_{2739-his fair little daughter} . Then , having paused on the unpalatable idea , " Well , [I]_{2739-his fair little daughter} never knew what [you]_{134-mr. home} were , nor ever thought of asking : for [me]_{2739-his fair little daughter} , [you]_{134-mr. home} were always [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy . "_{[2739-his fair little daughter]} " And what am [I]_0-i now ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could not forbear inquiring . " [Yourself]_{134-mr. home} , of course . But do [you]_{134-mr. home} really teach [here]_4212-here , in [Villette]_3-villette ? "_[0-i] " [I]_{643-her father} really do . "_{[643-her father]} " And do [you]_{134-mr. home} like it ? "_{[643-her father]} " Not always . "_[0-i] " And why do [you]_{134-mr. home} go on with it ? "_{[643-her father]} [[Her]_{2739-his fair little daughter} father]_{643-her father} looked at , and , [I]_0-i feared , was going to check [her]_{2739-his fair little daughter} ; but [he]_{643-her father} only said , " Proceed , [Polly]_141-paulina , proceed with that catechism - prove [yourself]_141-paulina [the little wiseacre [you]_141-paulina are]_{6391-the little wiseacre you are} . If [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy were to blush and look confused , [I]_{643-her father} should have to bid [you]_141-paulina hold [your]_141-paulina tongue ; and [you]_141-paulina and [I]_{643-her father} would sit out the present meal in some disgrace ; but [she]_142-lucy only smiles , so push [her]_142-lucy hard , multiply the cross - questions . Well , [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , why do [you]_{134-mr. home} go on with it ? "_{[643-her father]} " Chiefly , [I]_0-i fear , for the sake of the money [I]_0-i get . "_[0-i] " Not then from motives of pure philanthropy ? [Polly]_141-paulina and [I]_0-i were clinging to that hypothesis as the most lenient way of accounting for [your]_141-paulina eccentricity . "_[0-i] " No - no , [sir]_976-sir . Rather for the roof of [shelter]_6393-shelter [I]_{643-her father} am thus enabled to keep over [my]_{643-her father} head ; and for the comfort of mind it gives [me]_{643-her father} to think that while [I]_{643-her father} can work for [myself]_{643-her father} , [I]_{643-her father} am spared the pain of being a burden to [anybody]_4239-anybody . "_{[643-her father]} " [Papa]_140-papa , say what [you]_140-papa will , [I]_0-i pity [Lucy]_142-lucy . "_[0-i] " Take up that pity , [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} ; take it up in both hands , as [you]_141-paulina might [a little callow gosling squattering out of bounds without leave]_{6395-a little callow gosling squattering out of bounds without leave} ; put it back in the warm nest of a heart whence it issued , and receive in [your]_141-paulina ear this whisper . If [[my]_0-i [Polly]_141-paulina]_{6396-my polly} ever came to know by experience the uncertain nature of [this world]_{4390-this world} 's goods , [I]_0-i should like [her]_141-paulina to act as [Lucy]_142-lucy acts : to work for [herself]_141-paulina , that [she]_141-paulina might burden neither [kith]_6398-kith nor [kin]_6399-kin . "_[0-i] " Yes , [papa]_4218-papa , "_[2741-she] said [she]_2741-she , pensively and tractably . " But poor [Lucy]_142-lucy ! [I]_2741-she thought [she]_142-lucy was [a rich lady]_{6401-a rich lady} , and had [rich friends]_{6402-rich friends} . "_[2741-she] " [You]_4218-papa thought like [a little simpleton]_{6403-a little simpleton} . [I]_2742-i never thought so . When [I]_2742-i had time to consider [Lucy]_142-lucy 's manner and aspect , which was not often , [I]_2742-i saw [she]_142-lucy was [one who had to guard and not be guarded]_{6404-one who had to guard and not be guarded} ; to act and not be served : and this lot has , [I]_2742-i imagine , helped [her]_142-lucy to an experience for which , if [she]_142-lucy live long enough to realize its full benefit , [she]_142-lucy may yet bless [Providence]_{160-providence} . But [this school]_{4877-this school} , "_[2742-i] [he]_2742-i pursued , changing [his]_2742-i tone from grave to gay : " would [Madame Beck]_190-madame admit [[my]_0-i Polly]_{6396-my polly} , do [you]_0-i think , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , there needed but to try [Madame]_190-madame ; it would soon be seen : [she]_190-madame was fond of [English pupils]_{2743-english pupils} . " If [you]_2742-i , [sir]_976-sir , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i added , " will but take [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} in [[your]_2742-i carriage]_{6408-your carriage} this very afternoon , [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i can answer for it that [Rosine]_203-rosine , [the portress]_{1079-the portress} , will not be very slow in answering [your]_2742-i ring ; and [Madame]_190-madame , [I]_0-i am sure , will put on [her]_190-madame best pair of gloves to come into [the salon]_{1040-the salon} to receive [you]_2742-i . "_[0-i] " In that case , "_{[134-mr. home]} responded [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , " [I]_{134-mr. home} see no sort of necessity there is for delay . [Mrs. Hurst]_{340-mrs. hurst} can send what [she]_{340-mrs. hurst} calls [[her]_{340-mrs. hurst} young lady]_{894-her young lady} 's ' things ' after [her]_{340-mrs. hurst} ; [Polly]_141-paulina can settle down to [her]_141-paulina horn - book before night ; and [you]_2742-i , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy , [I]_{134-mr. home} trust , will not disdain to cast an occasional eye upon [her]_141-paulina , and let [me]_{134-mr. home} know , from time to time , how [she]_141-paulina gets on . [I]_{134-mr. home} hope [you]_2742-i approve of the arrangement , [Countess de Bassompierre]_{357-countess de bassompierre} ? "_{[134-mr. home]} [The Countess]_{2721-the countess} hemmed and hesitated . " [I]_{2721-the countess} thought , "_{[2721-the countess]} said [she]_{2721-the countess} , " [I]_{2721-the countess} thought [I]_{2721-the countess} had finished [my]_{2721-the countess} education - "_{[2721-the countess]} " That only proves how much [we]_6412-we may be mistaken in [our]_6412-we thoughts [I]_0-i hold a far different opinion , as most of these will who have been auditors of [your]_2742-i profound knowledge of life this morning . Ah , [[my]_0-i little girl]_{4294-my little girl} , [thou]_6414-thou hast much to learn ; and [papa]_4218-papa ought to have taught [thee]_{4294-my little girl} more than [he]_4218-papa has done ! Come , there is nothing for it but to try [Madame Beck]_190-madame ; and the weather seems settling , and [I]_0-i have finished [my]_0-i breakfast - "_[0-i] " But , [papa]_4218-papa ! "_{[2721-the countess]} " Well ? "_{[2721-the countess]} " [I]_0-i see an obstacle . "_[0-i] " [I]_{2721-the countess} do n't at all . "_{[2721-the countess]} " It is enormous , [papa]_4218-papa ; it can never be got over ; it is as large as [you]_4218-papa in [your]_4218-papa greatcoat , and the snowdrift on the top . "_{[2721-the countess]} " And , like that snowdrift , capable of melting ? "_[0-i] " No ! it is of too - too solid flesh : it is just [your]_4218-papa own self . [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy , warn [Madame Beck]_190-madame not to listen to any overtures about taking [me]_{2721-the countess} , because , in the end , it would turn out that [she]_190-madame would have to take [papa]_4218-papa too : as [he]_4218-papa is so teasing , [I]_{2721-the countess} will just tell tales about [him]_4218-papa . [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} and all of [you]_4218-papa listen : About five years ago , when [I]_{2721-the countess} was twelve years old , [he]_4218-papa took it into [his]_4218-papa head that [he]_4218-papa was spoiling [me]_{2721-the countess} ; that [I]_{2721-the countess} was growing unfitted for [the world]_{811-the world} , and [I]_{2721-the countess} do n't know what , and nothing would serve or satisfy [him]_4218-papa , but [I]_{2721-the countess} must go to [school]_675-school . [I]_{2721-the countess} cried , and so on ; but [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} proved hard - hearted , quite firm and flinty , and to [school]_675-school [I]_{2721-the countess} went . What was the result ? In the most admirable manner , [papa]_4218-papa came to [school]_675-school likewise : every other day [he]_4218-papa called to see [me]_{2721-the countess} . [Madame Aigredoux]_{358-madame aigredoux} grumbled , but it was of no use ; and so , at last , [papa]_4218-papa and [I]_{2721-the countess} were both , in a manner , expelled . [Lucy]_142-lucy can just tell [Madame Beck]_190-madame this little trait : it is only fair to let [her]_190-madame know what [she]_190-madame has to expect . "_{[2721-the countess]} [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} asked [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} what [he]_{134-mr. home} had to say in answer to this statement . As [he]_{134-mr. home} made no defence , judgment was given against [him]_{134-mr. home} , and [Paulina]_141-paulina triumphed . But [she]_141-paulina had other moods besides [the arch and naive]_{2745-the arch and naive} . After breakfast ; when [the two elders]_{2746-the two elders} withdrew - [I]_0-i suppose to talk over certain of [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's business matters - and [the Countess]_{2721-the countess} , [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , and [I]_0-i , were for a short time alone together - all [the child]_{4206-the child} left [her]_141-paulina ; with [us]_2749-us , more nearly [[her]_141-paulina companions]_{1668-her companions} in age , [she]_141-paulina rose at once to [the little lady]_{2601-the little lady} : [her]_141-paulina very face seemed to alter ; that play of feature , and candour of look , which , when [she]_141-paulina spoke to [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} , made it quite dimpled and round , yielded to an aspect more thoughtful , and lines distincter and less mobile . No doubt [Graham]_135-graham noted the change as well as I. [He]_135-graham stood for some minutes near the window , looking out at the snow ; presently [he]_135-graham , approached the hearth , and entered into conversation , but not quite with [his]_135-graham usual ease : fit topics did not seem to rise to [his]_135-graham lips ; [he]_135-graham chose them fastidiously , hesitatingly , and consequently infelicitously : [he]_135-graham spoke vaguely of [Villette]_3-villette - [its]_3-villette inhabitants , [its]_3-villette notable sights and [buildings]_{2029-buildings} . [He]_135-graham was answered by [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} in quite womanly sort ; with intelligence , with a manner not indeed wholly disindividualized : a tone , a glance , a gesture , here and there , rather animated and quick than measured and stately , still recalled [little Polly]_141-paulina ; but yet there was so fine and even a polish , so calm and courteous a grace , gilding and sustaining these peculiarities , that [a less sensitive man]_{2754-a less sensitive man} than [Graham]_135-graham would not have ventured to seize upon [them]_2755-them as vantage points , leading to franker intimacy . Yet while [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham continued subdued , and , for [him]_135-graham , sedate , [he]_135-graham was still observant . Not one of those petty impulses and natural breaks escaped [him]_135-graham . [He]_135-graham did not miss one characteristic movement , one hesitation in language , or one lisp in utterance . At times , in speaking fast , [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} still lisped ; but coloured whenever such lapse occurred , and in a painstaking , conscientious manner , quite as amusing as the slight error , repeated the word more distinctly . Whenever [she]_{348-miss de bassompierre} did this , [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham smiled . Gradually , as [they]_2756-they conversed , the restraint on each side slackened : might the conference have but been prolonged , [I]_0-i believe it would soon have become genial : already to [Paulina]_141-paulina 's lip and cheek returned the wreathing , dimpling smile ; [she]_141-paulina lisped once , and forgot to correct [herself]_141-paulina . And [Dr. John]_135-graham , [I]_0-i know not how [he]_135-graham changed , but change [he]_135-graham did . [He]_135-graham did not grow gayer - no raillery , no levity sparkled across [his]_135-graham aspect - but [his]_135-graham position seemed to become one of more pleasure to [himself]_135-graham , and [he]_135-graham spoke [his]_135-graham augmented comfort in readier language , in tones more suave . Ten years ago [this pair]_{2757-this pair} had always found abundance to say to [each other]_{4318-each other} ; the intervening decade had not narrowed the experience or impoverished the intelligence of either : besides , there are certain natures of which the mutual influence is such , that the more [they]_{2757-this pair} say , the more [they]_{2757-this pair} have to say . For these out of association grows adhesion , and out of adhesion , amalgamation . [Graham]_135-graham , however , must go : [his]_2759-his was a profession whose claims are neither to be ignored nor deferred . [He]_135-graham left [the room]_{600-the room} ; but before [he]_135-graham could leave [the house]_{518-the house} there was a return . [I]_0-i am sure [he]_135-graham came back - not for the paper , or card in [his]_135-graham desk , which formed [his]_135-graham ostensible errand - but to assure [himself]_135-graham , by one more glance , that [Paulina]_141-paulina 's aspect was really such as memory was bearing away : that [he]_135-graham had not been viewing [her]_141-paulina somehow by a partial , artificial light , and making a fond mistake . No ! [he]_135-graham found the impression true - rather , indeed , [he]_135-graham gained than lost by this return : [he]_135-graham took away with [him]_135-graham a parting look - shy , but very soft - as beautiful , as innocent , as any little fawn could lift out of its cover of fern , or any lamb from its meadow - bed . Being left alone , [Paulina]_141-paulina and [I]_0-i kept silence for some time : [we]_2762-we both took out some work , and plied a mute and diligent task . The white - wood workbox of old days was now replaced by one inlaid with precious mosaic , and furnished with implements of gold ; the tiny and trembling fingers that could scarce guide the needle , though tiny still , were now swift and skilful : but there was the same busy knitting of the brow , the same little dainty mannerisms , the same quick turns and movements - now to replace a stray tress , and anon to shake from the silken skirt some imaginary atom of dust - some clinging fibre of thread . That morning [I]_0-i was disposed for silence : the austere fury of the winter - day had on [me]_0-i an awing , hushing influence . That passion of [January]_359-january , so white and so bloodless , was not yet spent : the storm had raved itself hoarse , but seemed no nearer exhaustion . Had [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra been [[my]_0-i companion]_{546-my companion} in [that drawing - room]_{2764-that drawing - room} , [she]_179-ginevra would not have suffered [me]_0-i to muse and listen undisturbed . The presence just gone from [us]_2762-we would have been [her]_179-ginevra theme ; and how [she]_179-ginevra would have rung the changes on one topic ! how [she]_179-ginevra would have pursued and pestered [me]_0-i with questions and surmises - worried and oppressed [me]_0-i with comments and confidences [I]_0-i did not want , and longed to avoid . [Paulina Mary]_141-paulina cast once or twice towards [me]_0-i a quiet but penetrating glance of [her]_141-paulina dark , full eye ; [her]_141-paulina lips half opened , as if to the impulse of coming utterance : but [she]_141-paulina saw and delicately respected [my]_0-i inclination for silence . " This will not hold long , "_{[141-paulina]} [I]_0-i thought to [myself]_0-i ; for [I]_0-i was not accustomed to find in [women]_4398-women or [girls]_702-girls any power of self - control , or strength of self - denial . As far as [I]_0-i knew [them]_2767-their , the chance of a gossip about [their]_2767-their usually trivial secrets , [their]_2767-their often very washy and paltry feelings , was a treat not to be readily foregone . [The little Countess]_{6324-the little countess} promised an exception : [she]_{6324-the little countess} sewed till [she]_{6324-the little countess} was tired of sewing , and then [she]_{6324-the little countess} took a book . As chance would have it , [she]_{6324-the little countess} had sought it in [[Dr. Bretton]_135-graham 's own compartment]_{2769-dr. bretton 's own compartment} of the bookcase ; and it proved to be an old Bretton book - some illustrated work of natural history . Often had [I]_0-i seen [her]_{6324-the little countess} standing at [Graham]_135-graham 's side , resting that volume on [his]_135-graham knee , and reading to [his]_135-graham tuition ; and , when the lesson was over , begging , as a treat , that [he]_135-graham would tell [her]_{6324-the little countess} all about the pictures . [I]_0-i watched [her]_{6324-the little countess} keenly : here was a true test of that memory [she]_{6324-the little countess} had boasted would [her]_{6324-the little countess} recollections now be faithful ? Faithful ? It could not be doubted . As [she]_{6324-the little countess} turned the leaves , over [her]_{6324-the little countess} face passed gleam after gleam of expression , the least intelligent of which was a full greeting to [the Past]_{2770-the past} . And then [she]_{6324-the little countess} turned to the title - page , and looked at the name written in the schoolboy hand . [She]_{6324-the little countess} looked at it long ; nor was [she]_{6324-the little countess} satisfied with merely looking : [she]_{6324-the little countess} gently passed over the characters the tips of [her]_{6324-the little countess} fingers , accompanying the action with an unconscious but tender smile , which converted the touch into a caress . [Paulina]_141-paulina loved the Past ; but the peculiarity of this little scene was , that [she]_141-paulina said nothing : [she]_141-paulina could feel without pouring out [her]_141-paulina feelings in a flux of words . [She]_141-paulina now occupied [herself]_141-paulina at the bookcase for nearly an hour ; taking down volume after volume , and renewing [her]_141-paulina acquaintance with each . This done , [she]_141-paulina seated [herself]_141-paulina on a low stool , rested [her]_141-paulina cheek on [her]_141-paulina hand , and thought , and still was mute . The sound of the front door opened below , a rush of cold wind , and [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} 's voice speaking to [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} in [the hall]_{573-the hall} , startled [her]_141-paulina at last . [She]_141-paulina sprang up : [she]_141-paulina was down - stairs in one second . " [Papa]_140-papa ! [papa]_4218-papa ! [you]_4218-papa are not going out ? "_{[141-paulina]} " [[My]_141-paulina pet]_{4290-my pet} , [I]_141-paulina must go into [town]_4930-town . "_{[141-paulina]} " But it is too - too cold , [papa]_4218-papa . "_{[141-paulina]} And then [I]_0-i heard [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} showing to [her]_141-paulina how [he]_{643-her father} was well provided against the weather ; and how [he]_{643-her father} was going to have [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} , and to be quite snugly sheltered ; and , in short , proving that [she]_141-paulina need not fear for [his]_{643-her father} comfort . " But [you]_4218-papa will promise to come back here this evening , before it is quite dark ; - [you]_4218-papa and [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , both , in [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} ? It is not fit to ride . "_{[141-paulina]} " Well , if [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} see [the Doctor]_{4288-the doctor} , [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} will tell [him]_{4288-the doctor} [a lady]_{1639-a lady} has laid on [him]_{4288-the doctor} [her]_{1639-a lady} commands to take care of [his]_{4288-the doctor} precious health and come [home]_542-home early under [my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} escort . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Yes , [you]_4218-papa must say [a lady]_{1639-a lady} ; and [he]_{4288-the doctor} will think it is [[his]_{4288-the doctor} mother]_{534-his mother} , and be obedient And , papa , mind to come soon , for [I]_141-paulina shall watch and listen . "_{[141-paulina]} The door closed , and [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} rolled softly through the snow ; and back returned [the Countess]_{2721-the countess} , pensive and anxious . [She]_{2721-the countess} did listen , and watch , when evening closed ; but it was in stillest sort : walking [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} with quite noiseless step . [She]_{2721-the countess} checked at intervals [her]_{2721-the countess} velvet march ; inclined [her]_{2721-the countess} ear , and consulted the night sounds : [I]_0-i should rather say , the night silence ; for now , at last , the wind was fallen . The sky , relieved of its avalanche , lay naked and pale : through the barren boughs of [the avenue]_{5681-the avenue} [we]_2778-we could see it well , and note also the polar splendour of the new - year moon - an orb white as a world of ice . Nor was it late when [we]_2778-we saw also the return of [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} . [Paulina]_141-paulina had no dance of welcome for this evening . It was with a sort of gravity that [she]_141-paulina took immediate possession of [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} , as [he]_{643-her father} entered [the room]_{600-the room} ; but [she]_141-paulina at once made [him]_{643-her father} [[her]_141-paulina entire property]_{2782-her entire property} , led [him]_{643-her father} to [the seat of [her]_141-paulina choice]_{2783-the seat of her choice} , and , while softly showering round [him]_{643-her father} honeyed words of commendation for being so good and coming [home]_542-home so soon , [you]_2785-you would have thought it was entirely by the power of [her]_141-paulina little hands [he]_{643-her father} was put into [his]_{643-her father} chair , and settled and arranged ; for [the strong man]_{2786-the strong man} seemed to take pleasure in wholly yielding [himself]_{2786-the strong man} to this dominion - potent only by love . [Graham]_135-graham did not appear till some minutes after the Count . [Paulina]_141-paulina half turned when [his]_135-graham step was heard : [they]_2787-they spoke , but only a word or two ; [their]_2787-they fingers met a moment , but obviously with slight contact . [Paulina]_141-paulina remained beside [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} ; [Graham]_135-graham threw [himself]_135-graham into a seat on the other side of [the room]_{600-the room} . It was well that [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} and [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} had a great deal to say to [each other]_{4318-each other} - almost an inexhaustible fund of discourse in old recollections ; otherwise , [I]_0-i think , [our]_2791-our party would have been but a still one that evening . After tea , [Paulina]_141-paulina 's quick needle and pretty golden thimble were busily plied by the lamp - light , but [her]_141-paulina tongue rested , and [her]_141-paulina eyes seemed reluctant to raise often their lids , so smooth and so full- fringed . [Graham]_135-graham , too , must have been tired with [his]_135-graham day 's work : [he]_135-graham listened dutifully to [[his]_135-graham elders]_{2792-his elders} and betters , said very little [himself]_135-graham , and followed with [his]_135-graham eye the gilded glance of [Paulina]_141-paulina 's thimble ; as if it had been some bright moth on the wing , or the golden head of some darting little yellow serpent . CHAPTER XXVI . A BURIAL . From this date [my]_0-i life did not want variety ; [I]_0-i went out a good deal , with the entire consent of [Madame Beck]_190-madame , who perfectly approved the grade of [my]_0-i acquaintance . That [worthy directress]_{2793-worthy directress} had never from the first treated [me]_0-i otherwise than with respect ; and when [she]_190-madame found that [I]_0-i was liable to frequent invitations from [a chateau]_{5678-a chateau} and [a great hotel]_{2795-a great hotel} , respect improved into distinction . Not that [she]_190-madame was fulsome about it : [Madame]_190-madame , in all things worldly , was in nothing weak ; there was measure and sense in [her]_190-madame hottest pursuit of self - interest , calm and considerateness in [her]_190-madame closest clutch of gain ; without , then , laying [herself]_190-madame open to [my]_0-i contempt as [a time - server]_{2796-a time - server} and [a toadie]_{2797-a toadie} , [she]_190-madame marked with tact that [she]_190-madame was pleased [people connected with [[her]_190-madame establishment]_{5087-her establishment}]_{2798-people connected with her establishment} should frequent [such associates as must cultivate and elevate]_{2800-such associates as must cultivate and elevate} , rather than [those who might deteriorate and depress]_{2801-those who might deteriorate and depress} . [She]_190-madame never praised either [me]_0-i or [[my]_0-i friends]_{2626-my friends} ; only once when [she]_190-madame was sitting in the sun in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , a cup of coffee at [her]_190-madame elbow and the Gazette in [her]_190-madame hand , looking very comfortable , and [I]_0-i came up and asked leave of absence for the evening , [she]_190-madame delivered [herself]_190-madame in this gracious sort : - " Oui , oui , ma bonne amie : je vous donne la permission de coeur et de gre . Votre travail dans ma maison a toujours ete admirable , rempli de zele et de discretion : vous avez bien le droit de vous amuser . Sortez donc tant que vous voudrez . Quant a votre choix de connaissances , j'en suis contente ; c'est sage , digne , laudable . "_[190-madame] [She]_190-madame closed [her]_190-madame lips and resumed the Gazette . [The reader]_{759-the reader} will not too gravely regard the little circumstance that about this time the triply - enclosed packet of five letters temporarily disappeared from [my]_0-i bureau . Blank dismay was naturally [my]_0-i first sensation on making the discovery ; but in a moment [I]_0-i took heart of grace . " [Patience]_360-patience ! "_[0-i] whispered [I]_0-i to [myself]_0-i . " Let [me]_0-i say nothing , but wait peaceably ; [they]_2805-they will come back again . "_[0-i] And [they]_2805-they did come back : [they]_2805-they had only been on a short visit to [[Madame]_190-madame 's chamber]_{2806-madame 's chamber} ; having passed [their]_2805-they examination , [they]_2805-they came back duly and truly : [I]_0-i found [them]_2805-they all right the next day . [I]_0-i wonder what [she]_190-madame thought of [my]_0-i correspondence ? What estimate did [she]_190-madame form of [Dr. John Bretton]_135-graham 's epistolary powers ? In what light did the often very pithy thoughts , the generally sound , and sometimes original opinions , set , without pretension , in an easily - flowing , spirited style , appear to [her]_190-madame ? How did [she]_190-madame like that genial , half humorous vein , which to [me]_0-i gave such delight ? What did [she]_190-madame think of the few kind words scattered here and there - not thickly , as the diamonds were scattered in [the valley of [Sindbad]_92-sindbad]_{2807-the valley of sindbad} , but sparely , as those gems lie in unfabled beds ? Oh , [Madame Beck]_190-madame ! how seemed these things to [you]_2808-you ? [I]_0-i think in [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's eyes the five letters found a certain favour . One day after [she]_190-madame had borrowed them of [me]_0-i in speaking of so suave [a little woman]_{2809-a little woman} , [one]_607-one ought to use suave terms , [I]_0-i caught [her]_190-madame examining [me]_0-i with a steady contemplative gaze , a little puzzled , but not at all malevolent . It was during that brief space between lessons , when [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} turned out into [the court]_{1612-the court} for a quarter of an hour 's recreation ; [she]_190-madame and [I]_0-i remained in the first classe alone : when [I]_0-i met [her]_190-madame eye , [her]_190-madame thoughts forced themselves partially through [her]_190-madame lips . " Il y a , "_[190-madame] said [she]_190-madame , " quelquechose de bien remarquable dans le caractere Anglais . "_[190-madame] " How , [Madame]_4736-madame ? "_[190-madame] [She]_190-madame gave a little laugh , repeating the word " how "_[190-madame] in English . " Je ne saurais vous dire ' how ; ' mais , enfin , les Anglais ont des idees a eux , en amitie , en amour , en tout . Mais au moins il n'est pas besoin de les surveiller , "_[190-madame] [she]_190-madame added , getting up and trotting away like the compact little pony [she]_190-madame was . " Then [I]_190-madame hope , "_[190-madame] murmured [I]_0-i to [myself]_0-i , " [you]_190-madame will graciously let alone [my]_190-madame letters for the future . "_[190-madame] Alas ! something came rushing into [my]_0-i eyes , dimming utterly [their]_2813-their vision , blotting from sight [the schoolroom]_{5162-the schoolroom} , [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , the bright winter sun , as [I]_0-i remembered that never more would letters , such as [she]_190-madame had read , come to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i had seen the last of them . [That goodly river on whose banks [I]_0-i had sojourned , of whose waves a few reviving drops had trickled to [my]_0-i lips]_{2816-that goodly river on whose banks i had sojourned , of whose waves a few reviving drops had trickled to my lips} , was bending to another course : it was leaving [[my]_0-i little hut]_{2817-my little hut} and field forlorn and sand - dry , pouring [its]_{2816-that goodly river on whose banks i had sojourned , of whose waves a few reviving drops had trickled to my lips} wealth of waters far away . The change was right , just , natural ; not a word could be said : but [I]_0-i loved [my]_0-i Rhine , [my]_0-i Nile ; [I]_0-i had almost worshipped [[my]_0-i Ganges]_{2818-my ganges} , and [I]_0-i grieved that the grand tide should roll estranged , should vanish like a false mirage . Though stoical , [I]_0-i was not quite a stoic ; drops streamed fast on [my]_0-i hands , on [my]_0-i desk : [I]_0-i wept one sultry shower , heavy and brief . But soon [I]_0-i said to [myself]_0-i , " The Hope [I]_0-i am bemoaning suffered and made [me]_0-i suffer much : it did not die till it was full time : following an agony so lingering , death ought to be welcome . "_[0-i] Welcome [I]_0-i endeavoured to make it . Indeed , long pain had made patience a habit . In the end [I]_0-i closed the eyes of [my]_0-i dead , covered its face , and composed its limbs with great calm . The letters , however , must be put away , out of sight : [people who have undergone bereavement]_{2819-people who have undergone bereavement} always jealously gather together and lock away mementos : it is not supportable to be stabbed to the heart each moment by sharp revival of regret . One vacant holiday afternoon the Thursday going to [my]_0-i treasure , with intent to consider its final disposal , [I]_0-i perceived - and this time with a strong impulse of displeasure - that it had been again tampered with : the packet was there , indeed , but the ribbon which secured it had been untied and retied ; and by other symptoms [I]_0-i knew that [my]_0-i drawer had been visited . This was a little too much . [Madame Beck]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame was the soul of discretion , besides having as strong a brain and sound a judgment as ever furnished a human head ; that [she]_190-madame should know the contents of [my]_0-i casket , was not pleasant , but might be borne . [Little Jesuit]_{361-little jesuit} inquisitress as [she]_190-madame was , [she]_190-madame could see things in a true light , and understand them in an unperverted sense ; but the idea that [she]_190-madame had ventured to communicate information , thus gained , to [others]_770-others ; that [she]_190-madame had , perhaps , amused [herself]_190-madame with [a companion]_{2821-a companion} over documents , in [my]_0-i eyes most sacred , shocked [me]_0-i cruelly . Yet , that such was the case [I]_0-i now saw reason to fear ; [I]_0-i even guessed [[her]_190-madame confidant]_{2822-her confidant} . [[Her]_190-madame kinsman]_{2823-her kinsman} , [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , had spent yesterday evening with [her]_190-madame : [she]_190-madame was much in the habit of consulting [him]_{2823-her kinsman} , and of discussing with [him]_{2823-her kinsman} matters [she]_190-madame broached to [no one else]_{4263-no one else} . This very morning , in class , [that gentleman]_{5254-that gentleman} had favoured [me]_0-i with a glance which [he]_{5254-that gentleman} seemed to have borrowed from [Vashti]_331-vashti , [the actress]_{2540-the actress} ; [I]_0-i had not at the moment comprehended that blue , yet lurid , flash out of [his]_{5254-that gentleman} angry eye ; but [I]_0-i read its meaning now . [He]_{5254-that gentleman} , [I]_0-i believed , was not apt to regard what concerned [me]_0-i from a fair point of view , nor to judge [me]_0-i with tolerance and candour : [I]_0-i had always found [him]_{5254-that gentleman} severe and suspicious : the thought that these letters , mere friendly letters as they were , had fallen once , and might fall again , into [his]_{5254-that gentleman} hands , jarred [my]_0-i very soul . What should [I]_0-i do to prevent this ? In what corner of [this strange house]_{2827-this strange house} was it possible to find security or secresy ? Where could a key be a safeguard , or a padlock a barrier ? In the grenier ? No , [I]_0-i did not like [the grenier]_{2381-the grenier} . Besides , most of the boxes and drawers there were mouldering , and did not lock . [Rats]_2829-rats , too , gnawed their way through the decayed wood ; and mice made nests amongst the litter of their contents : [my]_0-i dear letters most dear still , though Ichabod was written on their covers might be consumed by vermin ; certainly the writing would soon become obliterated by damp . No ; [the grenier]_{2381-the grenier} would not do - but where then ? While pondering this problem , [I]_0-i sat in the dormitory window - seat . It was a fine frosty afternoon ; the winter sun , already setting , gleamed pale on the tops of the garden - shrubs in the " allee defendue . "_{[1581-the nun]} One great old pear - tree - [the nun]_{1581-the nun} 's pear - tree - stood up a tall dryad skeleton , grey , gaunt , and stripped . A thought struck [me]_0-i - one of those queer fantastic thoughts that will sometimes strike [solitary people]_{2832-solitary people} . [I]_0-i put on [my]_0-i bonnet , cloak , and furs , and went out into [the city]_{4429-the city} . Bending [my]_0-i steps to [the old historical quarter of [the town]_{1306-the town} , whose hoax and overshadowed precincts [I]_0-i always sought by instinct in melancholy moods , [I]_0-i wandered on from [street]_2836-street to [street]_2836-street]_{2834-the old historical quarter of the town , whose hoax and overshadowed precincts i always sought by instinct in melancholy moods , i wandered on from street to street} , till , having crossed [a half deserted " place]_{6436-a half deserted " place} "_{[2839-broker]} or square , [I]_0-i found [myself]_0-i before [a sort of [broker]_2839-broker 's shop]_{2838-a sort of broker 's shop} ; [an ancient place , full of ancient things]_{2840-an ancient place , full of ancient things} . What [I]_0-i wanted was a metal box which might be soldered , or a thick glass jar or bottle which might be stoppered or sealed hermetically . Amongst miscellaneous heaps , [I]_0-i found and purchased the latter article . [I]_0-i then made a little roll of [my]_0-i letters , wrapped them in oiled silk , bound them with twine , and , having put them in the bottle , got the old Jew broker to stopper , seal , and make it air - tight . While obeying [my]_0-i directions , [he]_2841-he glanced at [me]_0-i now and then suspiciously from under [his]_2841-he frost - white eyelashes . [I]_0-i believe [he]_2841-he thought there was some evil deed on hand . In all this [I]_0-i had a dreary something - not pleasure - but a sad , lonely satisfaction . The impulse under which [I]_0-i acted , the mood controlling [me]_0-i , were similar to the impulse and the mood which had induced [me]_0-i to visit the confessional . With quick walking [I]_0-i regained [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat} just at dark , and in time for dinner . At seven o'clock the moon rose . At half - past seven , when [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} were at study , and [Madame Beck]_190-madame was with [[her]_190-madame mother]_{550-her mother} and [children]_{4815-children} in [the salle - a - manger]_{1350-the salle - a - manger} , when [the half - boarders]_{5197-the half - boarders} were all gone [home]_542-home , and [Rosine]_203-rosine had left [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} , and all was still - [I]_0-i shawled [myself]_0-i , and , taking the sealed jar , stole out through the first - classe door , into the berceau and thence into [the " allee defendue]_{6437-the " allee defendue} . "_{[362-methusaleh]} [Methusaleh]_{362-methusaleh} , the pear - tree , stood at the further end of this walk , near [my]_0-i seat : [he]_{362-methusaleh} rose up , dim and gray , above the lower shrubs round [him]_{362-methusaleh} . Now [Methusaleh]_{362-methusaleh} , though so very old , was of sound timber still ; only there was a hole , or rather a deep hollow , near [his]_{362-methusaleh} root . [I]_0-i knew there was such a hollow , hidden partly by ivy and creepers growing thick round ; and there [I]_0-i meditated hiding [my]_0-i treasure . But [I]_0-i was not only going to hide a treasure - [I]_0-i meant also to bury a grief . That grief over which [I]_0-i had lately been weeping , as [I]_0-i wrapped it in its winding- sheet , must be interred . Well , [I]_0-i cleared away the ivy , and found the hole ; it was large enough to receive the jar , and [I]_0-i thrust it deep in . In [a tool - shed at the bottom of [the garden]_{1165-the garden}]_{2851-a tool - shed at the bottom of the garden} , lay the relics of building - materials , left by masons lately employed to repair [a part of [the premises]_{1020-the premises}]_{2853-a part of the premises} . [I]_0-i fetched thence a slate and some mortar , put the slate on the hollow , secured it with cement , covered the hole with black mould , and , finally , replaced the ivy . This done , [I]_0-i rested , leaning against the tree ; lingering , like [any other mourner]_{2855-any other mourner} , beside a newly - sodded grave . The air of the night was very still , but dim with a peculiar mist , which changed the moonlight into a luminous haze . In this air , or this mist , there was some quality - electrical , perhaps - which acted in strange sort upon [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i felt then as [I]_0-i had felt a year ago in [England]_19-england - on a night when the aurora borealis was streaming and sweeping round [heaven]_1614-heaven , when , belated in [lonely fields]_{2857-lonely fields} , [I]_0-i had paused to watch that mustering of [an army with banners]_{2858-an army with banners} - that quivering of serried lances - that swift ascent of [messengers]_{2859-messengers} from below the north star to [the dark , high keystone of heaven 's arch]_{2860-the dark , high keystone of heaven 's arch} . [I]_0-i felt , not happy , far otherwise , but strong with reinforced strength . If life be a war , it seemed [my]_0-i destiny to conduct it single - handed . [I]_0-i pondered now how to break up [my]_0-i winter - quarters - to leave [an encampment where food and forage]_{2861-an encampment where food and forage} failed . Perhaps , to effect this change , another pitched battle must be fought with fortune ; if so , [I]_0-i had a mind to the encounter : too poor to lose , [God]_164-god might destine [me]_0-i to gain . But what [road]_2862-road was open ? - what plan available ? On this question [I]_0-i was still pausing , when the moon , so dim hitherto , seemed to shine out somewhat brighter : a ray gleamed even white before [me]_0-i , and a shadow became distinct and marked . [I]_0-i looked more narrowly , to make out the cause of this well - defined contrast appearing a little suddenly in [the obscure alley]_{2863-the obscure alley} : whiter and blacker it grew on [my]_0-i eye : it took shape with instantaneous transformation . [I]_0-i stood about three yards from [a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} . Five minutes passed . [I]_0-i neither fled nor shrieked . [She]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} was there still . [I]_0-i spoke . " Who are [you]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} ? and why do [you]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} come to [me]_0-i ? "_[0-i] [She]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} stood mute . [She]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} had no face - no features : all below [her]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} brow was masked with a white cloth ; but [she]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} had eyes , and [they]_2865-they viewed [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i felt , if not brave , yet a little desperate ; and desperation will often suffice to fill the post and do the work of courage . [I]_0-i advanced one step . [I]_0-i stretched out [my]_0-i hand , for [I]_0-i meant to touch [her]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} . [She]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} seemed to recede . [I]_0-i drew nearer : [her]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} recession , still silent , became swift . A mass of shrubs , full - leaved evergreens , laurel and dense yew , intervened between [me]_0-i and what [I]_0-i followed . Having passed that obstacle , [I]_0-i looked and saw nothing . [I]_0-i waited . [I]_0-i said , - " If [you]_{2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman} have any errand to [men]_4397-men , come back and deliver it . "_[0-i] [Nothing]_363-nothing spoke or re - appeared . This time there was no Dr. [John to whom to have recourse]_{2866-john to whom to have recourse} : there was [no one]_{2867-no one} to whom [I]_0-i dared whisper the words , " [I]_0-i have again seen [the nun]_{1581-the nun} . "_[0-i] [Paulina Mary]_141-paulina sought [my]_0-i frequent presence in [the Rue Crecy]_{6199-the rue crecy} . In the old Bretton days , though [she]_141-paulina had never professed [herself]_141-paulina fond of [me]_0-i , [[my]_0-i society]_{2869-my society} had soon become to [her]_141-paulina a sort of unconscious necessary . [I]_0-i used to notice that if [I]_0-i withdrew to [[my]_0-i room]_{1110-my room} , [she]_141-paulina would speedily come trotting after [me]_0-i , and opening the door and peeping in , say , with [her]_141-paulina little peremptory accent , - " Come down . Why do [you]_0-i sit here by [yourself]_0-i ? [You]_0-i must come into [the parlour]_{1923-the parlour} . "_{[141-paulina]} In the same spirit [she]_141-paulina urged [me]_0-i now - " Leave [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} , "_{[141-paulina]} [she]_141-paulina said , " and come and live with [us]_6441-us . [Papa]_140-papa would give [you]_0-i far more than [Madame Beck]_190-madame gives [you]_0-i . "_{[141-paulina]} [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} [himself]_{134-mr. home} offered [me]_0-i a handsome sum - thrice [my]_0-i present salary - if [I]_0-i would accept the office of companion to [[his]_{134-mr. home} daughter]_{686-his daughter} . [I]_0-i declined . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i should have declined had [I]_0-i been poorer than [I]_0-i was , and with scantier fund of resource , more stinted narrowness of future prospect . [I]_0-i had not that vocation . [I]_0-i could teach ; [I]_0-i could give lessons ; but to be either [a private governess]_{2872-a private governess} or [a companion]_{2821-a companion} was unnatural to [me]_0-i . Rather than fill [the former post in [any great house]_{2875-any great house}]_{2874-the former post in any great house} , [I]_0-i would deliberately have taken [[a housemaid]_{2876-a housemaid} 's place]_{2877-a housemaid 's place} , bought a strong pair of gloves , swept [bedrooms]_{2878-bedrooms} and staircases , and cleaned stoves and locks , in peace and independence . Rather than be [a companion]_{2821-a companion} , [I]_0-i would have made shirts and starved . [I]_0-i was [no bright lady]_{2880-no bright lady} 's shadow - not [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} 's . Overcast enough it was [my]_0-i nature often to be ; of a subdued habit [I]_0-i was : but the dimness and depression must both be voluntary - such as kept [me]_0-i docile at [my]_0-i desk , in the midst of [[my]_0-i now well - accustomed pupils in [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's fist classe]_{2882-madame beck 's fist classe}]_{2881-my now well - accustomed pupils in madame beck 's fist classe} ; or alone , at [my]_0-i own bedside , in [[her]_190-madame dormitory]_{2883-her dormitory} , or in [the alley]_{5354-the alley} and seat which were called [mine]_0-i , in [[her]_190-madame garden]_{5097-her garden} : [my]_0-i qualifications were not convertible , nor adaptable ; they could not be made the foil of any gem , the adjunct of any beauty , the appendage of any greatness in [Christendom]_{55-christendom} . [Madame Beck]_190-madame and [I]_0-i , without assimilating , understood [each other]_{4318-each other} well . [I]_0-i was not [[her]_190-madame companion]_{2887-her companion} , nor [[her]_190-madame children 's governess]_{2888-her children 's governess} ; [she]_190-madame left [me]_0-i free : [she]_190-madame tied [me]_0-i to nothing - not to [herself]_190-madame - not even to [her]_190-madame interests : once , when [she]_190-madame had for a fortnight been called from [home]_542-home by [a near relation]_{2890-a near relation} 's illness , and on [her]_190-madame return , all anxious and full of care about [her]_190-madame establishment , lest something in [her]_190-madame absence should have gone wrong finding that matters had proceeded much as usual , and that there was no evidence of glaring neglect - [she]_190-madame made [each of [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers}]_{1499-each of the teachers} a present , in acknowledgment of steadiness . To [my]_0-i bedside [she]_190-madame came at twelve o'clock at night , and told [me]_0-i [she]_190-madame had no present for [me]_0-i : " [I]_190-madame must make fidelity advantageous to [the St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , "_[190-madame] said [she]_190-madame ; " if [I]_190-madame attempt to make it advantageous to [you]_0-i , there will arise misunderstanding between [us]_6442-us - perhaps separation . One thing , however , [I]_190-madame can do to please [you]_0-i - leave [you]_0-i alone with [your]_0-i liberty : c'est - ce que je ferai . "_[190-madame] [She]_190-madame kept [her]_190-madame word . Every slight shackle [she]_190-madame had ever laid on [me]_0-i , [she]_190-madame , from that time , with quiet hand removed . Thus [I]_0-i had pleasure in voluntarily respecting [her]_190-madame rules : gratification in devoting double time , in taking double pains with [the pupils [she]_190-madame committed to [my]_0-i charge]_{2893-the pupils she committed to my charge} . As to [Mary de Bassompierre]_141-paulina , [I]_0-i visited [her]_141-paulina with pleasure , though [I]_0-i would not live with [her]_141-paulina . [My]_0-i visits soon taught [me]_0-i that it was unlikely even [my]_0-i occasional and voluntary society would long be indispensable to [her]_141-paulina . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , for [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} part , seemed impervious to this conjecture , blind to this possibility ; unconscious as [any child]_{2894-any child} to the signs , the likelihoods , the fitful beginnings of what , when it drew to an end , [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} might not approve . Whether or not [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} would cordially approve , [I]_0-i used to speculate . Difficult to say . [He]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was much taken up with scientific interests ; keen , intent , and somewhat oppugnant in what concerned [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} favourite pursuits , but unsuspicious and trustful in the ordinary affairs of life . From all [I]_0-i could gather , [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} seemed to regard [[his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} " daughterling]_{6443-his " daughterling} "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} as still but [a child]_{4415-a child} , and probably had not yet admitted the notion that [others]_770-others might look on [her]_141-paulina in a different light : [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} would speak of what should be done when " [Polly]_141-paulina "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} was [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , when [she]_141-paulina should be grown up ; and " [Polly]_141-paulina , "_{[141-paulina]} standing beside [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} chair , would sometimes smile and take [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} honoured head between [her]_141-paulina little hands , and kiss [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} iron- grey locks ; and , at other times , [she]_141-paulina would pout and toss [her]_141-paulina curls : but [she]_141-paulina never said , " [Papa]_140-papa , [I]_141-paulina am grown up . "_{[141-paulina]} [She]_141-paulina had different moods for [different people]_{2898-different people} . With [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} [she]_141-paulina really was still [a child]_{4415-a child} , or child - like , affectionate , merry , and playful . With [me]_0-i [she]_141-paulina was serious , and as womanly as thought and feeling could make [her]_141-paulina . With [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} [she]_141-paulina was docile and reliant , but not expansive . With [Graham]_135-graham [she]_141-paulina was shy , at present very shy ; at moments [she]_141-paulina tried to be cold ; on occasion [she]_141-paulina endeavoured to shun [him]_135-graham . [His]_135-graham step made [her]_141-paulina start ; [his]_135-graham entrance hushed [her]_141-paulina ; when [he]_135-graham spoke , [her]_141-paulina answers failed of fluency ; when [he]_135-graham took leave , [she]_141-paulina remained self - vexed and disconcerted . Even [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} noticed this demeanour in [her]_141-paulina . " [My]_{643-her father} little [Polly]_141-paulina , "_{[643-her father]} [he]_{643-her father} said once , " [you]_141-paulina live too retired a life ; if [you]_141-paulina grow to be [a woman with these shy manners]_{6444-a woman with these shy manners} , [you]_141-paulina will hardly be fitted for society . [You]_141-paulina really make quite [a stranger of [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham]_{6445-a stranger of dr. bretton} : how is this ? Do n't [you]_141-paulina remember that , as [a little girl]_{545-a little girl} , [you]_141-paulina used to be rather partial to [him]_135-graham ? "_{[643-her father]} " Rather , [papa]_4218-papa , "_{[141-paulina]} echoed [she]_141-paulina , with [her]_141-paulina slightly dry , yet gentle and simple tone . " And [you]_4218-papa do n't like [him]_135-graham now ? What has [he]_135-graham done ? "_{[141-paulina]} " Nothing . [Y]_6448-y - e - s , [I]_{643-her father} like [him]_135-graham a little ; but [we]_6449-we are grown strange to each other . "_{[643-her father]} " Then rub it off , [Polly]_141-paulina ; rub the rust and the strangeness off . Talk away when [he]_135-graham is here , and have no fear of [him]_135-graham ? "_{[643-her father]} " [He]_135-graham does not talk much . Is [he]_135-graham afraid of [me]_141-paulina , do [you]_4218-papa think , [papa]_4218-papa ? "_{[141-paulina]} " Oh , to be sure , [what man]_{6451-what man} would not be afraid of [such a little silent lady]_{6452-such a little silent lady} ? "_{[643-her father]} " Then tell [him]_135-graham some day not to mind [my]_{643-her father} being silent . Say that it is [my]_{643-her father} way , and that [I]_{643-her father} have no unfriendly intention . "_{[643-her father]} " [Your]_{643-her father} way , [you]_{643-her father} little chatter - box ? So far from being [your]_{643-her father} way , it is only [your]_{643-her father} whim ! "_{[141-paulina]} " Well , [I]_{643-her father} 'll improve , [papa]_4218-papa . "_{[643-her father]} And very pretty was the grace with which , the next day , [she]_2902-her tried to keep [her]_2902-her word . [I]_0-i saw [her]_2902-her make the effort to converse affably with [Dr. John]_135-graham on general topics . The attention called into [[her]_2902-her guest]_{6302-her guest} 's face a pleasurable glow ; [he]_135-graham met [her]_2902-her with caution , and replied to [her]_2902-her in [his]_135-graham softest tones , as if there was a kind of gossamer happiness hanging in the air which [he]_135-graham feared to disturb by drawing too deep a breath . Certainly , in [her]_2902-her timid yet earnest advance to friendship , it could not be denied that there was a most exquisite and fairy charm . When [the Doctor]_{4288-the doctor} was gone , [she]_2902-her approached [[her]_2902-her father]_{643-her father} 's chair . " Did [I]_2902-her keep [my]_2902-her word , [papa]_4218-papa ? Did [I]_2902-her behave better ? "_[2902-her] " [[My]_{178-m. de bassompierre} Polly]_{6396-my polly} behaved like [a queen]_{1728-a queen} . [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} shall become quite proud of [her]_{6396-my polly} if this improvement continues . By - and - by [we]_6457-we shall see [her]_{6396-my polly} receiving [[my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} guests]_{6458-my guests} with quite a calm , grand manner . [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy and [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} will have to look about [us]_6457-we , and polish up all [our]_6457-we best airs and graces lest [we]_6457-we should be thrown into the shade . Still , [Polly]_141-paulina , there is a little flutter , a little tendency to stammer now and then , and even , to lisp as [you]_141-paulina lisped when [you]_141-paulina were six years old . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " No , [papa]_4218-papa , "_[2906-she] interrupted [she]_2906-she indignantly , " that ca n't be true . "_[2906-she] " [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} appeal to [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy . Did [she]_142-lucy not , in answering [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham 's question as to whether [she]_142-lucy had ever seen [the palace of [the Prince of Bois l'Etang]_{6461-the prince of bois l'etang}]_{6460-the palace of the prince of bois l'etang} , say , ' yeth , ' [she]_142-lucy had been there ' theveral ' times ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [Papa]_140-papa , [you]_140-papa are satirical , [you]_140-papa are mechant ! [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} can pronounce all the letters of the alphabet as clearly as [you]_140-papa can . But tell [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} this [you]_140-papa are very particular in making [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} be civil to [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , do [you]_140-papa like [him]_135-graham [yourself]_140-papa ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " To be sure : for old acquaintance sake [I]_2906-she like [him]_135-graham : then [he]_135-graham is [a very good son]_{6462-a very good son} to [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} ; besides being [a kind - hearted fellow]_{6464-a kind - hearted fellow} and clever in [his]_135-graham profession : yes , [the callant]_{6465-the callant} is well enough . "_[2906-she] " [Callant]_364-callant ! Ah , [Scotchman]_{365-scotchman} ! [Papa]_140-papa , is it the [Edinburgh]_93-edinburgh or the Aberdeen accent [you]_140-papa have ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Both , [[my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} pet]_{4290-my pet} , both : and doubtless [the Glaswegian]_{366-the glaswegian} into the bargain . It is that which enables [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} to speak French so well : a gude Scots tongue always succeeds well at the French . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " The French ! Scotch again : incorrigible [papa]_4218-papa . [You]_4218-papa , too , need schooling . "_[2906-she] " Well , [Polly]_141-paulina , [you]_141-paulina must persuade [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy to undertake both [you]_141-paulina and [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} ; to make [you]_141-paulina steady and womanly , and [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} refined and classical . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} The light in which [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} evidently regarded " [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , "_[2906-she] used to occasion [me]_0-i much inward edification . What contradictory attributes of character [we]_2907-we sometimes find ascribed to [us]_2907-we , according to the eye with which [we]_2907-we are viewed ! [Madame Beck]_190-madame esteemed [me]_0-i learned and blue ; [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , caustic , ironic , and cynical ; [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , [a model teacher]_{2908-a model teacher} , the essence of the sedate and discreet : somewhat conventional , perhaps , too strict , limited , and scrupulous , but still the pink and pattern of governess - correctness ; whilst [another person]_{2909-another person} , [Professor Paul Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} , to wit , never lost an opportunity of intimating [his]_{303-professor emanuel} opinion that [mine]_0-i was rather a fiery and rash nature - adventurous , indocile , and audacious . [I]_0-i smiled at [them]_2910-them all . If [any one]_{1135-any one} knew [me]_0-i it was [little Paulina Mary]_141-paulina . As [I]_0-i would not be [[Paulina]_141-paulina 's nominal and paid companion]_{2912-paulina 's nominal and paid companion} , genial and harmonious as [I]_0-i began to find [her]_141-paulina intercourse , [she]_141-paulina persuaded [me]_0-i to join [her]_141-paulina in some study , as a regular and settled means of sustaining communication : [she]_141-paulina proposed the German language , which , like [myself]_0-i , [she]_141-paulina found difficult of mastery . [We]_2913-we agreed to take [our]_2913-we lessons in [the Rue Crecy of]_{2914-the rue crecy of} [the same mistress]_{2915-the same mistress} ; this arrangement threw [us]_2913-we together for some hours of every week . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} seemed quite pleased : it perfectly met [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} approbation , that [Madame Minerva Gravity]_{367-madame minerva gravity} should associate a portion of [her]_{367-madame minerva gravity} leisure with that of [[his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} fair and dear child]_{2916-his fair and dear child} . [That other self - elected judge of [mine]_0-i]_{2917-that other self - elected judge of mine} , [the professor in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette}]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} , discovering by some surreptitious spying means , that [I]_0-i was no longer so stationary as hitherto , but went out regularly at certain hours of certain days , took it upon [himself]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} to place [me]_0-i under surveillance . [People]_531-people said [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} had been brought up amongst [Jesuits]_368-jesuits . [I]_0-i should more readily have accredited this report had [his]_{196-m. paul} manoeuvres been better masked . As it was , [I]_0-i doubted it . Never was [a more undisguised schemer]_{2921-a more undisguised schemer} , [a franker , looser intriguer]_{2922-a franker , looser intriguer} . [He]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} would analyze [his]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} own machinations : elaborately contrive plots , and forthwith indulge in explanatory boasts of [their]_531-people skill . [I]_0-i know not whether [I]_0-i was more amused or provoked , by [his]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} stepping up to [me]_0-i one morning and whispering solemnly that [he]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} " had [his]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} eye on [me]_0-i : [he]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} at least would discharge the duty of [a friend]_{1797-a friend} , and not leave [me]_0-i entirely to [my]_0-i own devices . [My]_0-i , proceedings seemed at present very unsettled : [he]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} did not know what to make of them : [he]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} thought [[his]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} cousin]_{6469-his cousin} [Beck]_190-madame very much to blame in suffering this sort of fluttering inconsistency in [a teacher attached to [[her]_{6469-his cousin} house]_{6212-her house}]_{6470-a teacher attached to her house} . What had [a person devoted to a serious calling , that of education]_{6472-a person devoted to a serious calling , that of education} , to do with Counts and [Countesses]_{369-countesses} , [hotels and chateaux]_{6473-hotels and chateaux} ? To [him]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} , [I]_0-i seemed altogether ' en l'air . ' On [his]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} faith , [he]_{2918-the professor in the rue fossette} believed [I]_0-i went out six days in the seven . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , " [Monsieur]_{6474-monsieur} exaggerated . [I]_0-i certainly had enjoyed the advantage of a little change lately , but not before it had become necessary ; and the privilege was by no means exercised in excess . "_[0-i] " Necessary ! How was it necessary ? [I]_0-i was well enough , [he]_2923-he supposed ? Change necessary ! [He]_2923-he would recommend [me]_0-i to look at the Catholic ' religieuses , ' and study [their]_6475-their lives . [They]_6475-their asked no change . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am no judge of what expression crossed [my]_0-i face when [he]_2923-he thus spoke , but it was one which provoked [him]_2923-he : [he]_2923-he accused [me]_0-i of being reckless , worldly , and epicurean ; ambitious of greatness , and feverishly athirst for the pomps and vanities of life . It seems [I]_0-i had no " devouement , "_[2923-he] no " recueillement "_[2923-he] in [my]_0-i character ; no spirit of grace , faith , sacrifice , or self - abasement . Feeling the inutility of answering these charges , [I]_0-i mutely continued the correction of a pile of English exercises . " [He]_2923-he could see in [me]_0-i nothing Christian : like [many other Protestants]_{6476-many other protestants} , [I]_0-i revelled in the pride and self - will of paganism . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i slightly turned from [him]_2923-he , nestling still closer under the wing of silence . A vague sound grumbled between [his]_2923-he teeth ; it could not surely be a " juron : "_[2923-he] [he]_2923-he was too religious for that ; but [I]_0-i am certain [I]_0-i heard the word sacre . Grievous to relate , the same word was repeated , with the unequivocal addition of mille something , when [I]_0-i passed [him]_2923-he about two hours afterwards in [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} , prepared to go and take [my]_0-i German lesson in [the Rue Crecy]_{6199-the rue crecy} . Never was [a better little man]_{2926-a better little man} , in some points , than [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} : never , in others , [a more waspish little despot]_{2927-a more waspish little despot} . [[Our]_2928-we German mistress]_{2929-our german mistress} , [Fraeulein Anna Braun]_{370-fraeulein anna braun} , was [a worthy , hearty woman , of about forty - five]_{2930-a worthy , hearty woman , of about forty - five} ; [she]_{2929-our german mistress} ought , perhaps , to have lived in the days of [Queen Elizabeth]_{371-queen elizabeth} , as [she]_{2929-our german mistress} habitually consumed , for [her]_{2929-our german mistress} first and second breakfasts , beer and beef : also , [her]_{2929-our german mistress} direct and downright Deutsch nature seemed to suffer a sensation of cruel restraint from what [she]_{2929-our german mistress} called [[our]_2928-we English reserve]_{2931-our english reserve} ; though [we]_2928-we thought [we]_2928-we were very cordial with [her]_{2929-our german mistress} : but [we]_2928-we did not slap [her]_{2929-our german mistress} on the shoulder , and if [we]_2928-we consented to kiss [her]_{2929-our german mistress} cheek , it was done quietly , and without any explosive smack . These omissions oppressed and depressed [her]_{2929-our german mistress} considerably ; still , on the whole , [we]_2928-we got on very well . Accustomed to instruct [foreign girls , who hardly ever will think and study for [themselves]_{2932-foreign girls , who hardly ever will think and study for themselves}]_{2932-foreign girls , who hardly ever will think and study for themselves} - who have [no idea of grappling with a difficulty , and overcoming it by dint of reflection or application]_{2933-no idea of grappling with a difficulty , and overcoming it by dint of reflection or application} - [our]_2928-we progress , which in truth was very leisurely , seemed to astound [her]_{2929-our german mistress} . In [her]_{2929-our german mistress} eyes , [we]_2928-we were [a pair of glacial prodigies]_{2934-a pair of glacial prodigies} , cold , proud , and preternatural . [The young Countess]_{4879-the young countess} was a little proud , a little fastidious : and perhaps , with [her]_{2929-our german mistress} native delicacy and beauty , [she]_{2929-our german mistress} had a right to these feelings ; but [I]_0-i think it was a total mistake to ascribe them to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i never evaded the morning salute , which [Paulina]_141-paulina would slip when [she]_141-paulina could ; nor was a certain little manner of still disdain a weapon known in [my]_0-i armoury of defence ; whereas , [Paulina]_141-paulina always kept it clear , fine , and bright , and any rough German sally called forth at once its steelly glisten . Honest [Anna Braun]_{370-fraeulein anna braun} , in some measure , felt this difference ; and while [she]_{370-fraeulein anna braun} half - feared , half - worshipped [Paulina]_141-paulina , as [a sort of dainty nymph]_{2936-a sort of dainty nymph} - an Undine - [she]_{370-fraeulein anna braun} took refuge with [me]_0-i , as [a being all mortal , and of easier mood]_{2937-a being all mortal , and of easier mood} . A book [we]_2928-we liked well to read and translate was [Schiller]_372-schiller 's Ballads ; [Paulina]_141-paulina soon learned to read them beautifully ; [the Fraeulein]_{370-fraeulein anna braun} would listen to [her]_141-paulina with a broad smile of pleasure , and say [her]_141-paulina voice sounded like music . [She]_141-paulina translated them , too , with a facile flow of language , and in a strain of kindred and poetic fervour : [her]_141-paulina cheek would flush , [her]_141-paulina lips tremblingly smile , [her]_141-paulina beauteous eyes kindle or melt as [she]_141-paulina went on . [She]_141-paulina learnt the best by heart , and would often recite them when [we]_2928-we were alone together . One [she]_141-paulina liked well was " Des Maedchens Klage : "_{[141-paulina]} that is , [she]_141-paulina liked well to repeat the words , [she]_141-paulina found plaintive melody in the sound ; the sense [she]_141-paulina would criticise . [She]_141-paulina murmured , as [we]_2928-we sat over the fire one evening : - Du Heilige , rufe dein Kind zurueck , Ich habe genossen das irdische Glueck , Ich habe gelebt und geliebet ! " Lived and loved ! "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina , " is that the summit of earthly happiness , the end of life - to love ? [I]_141-paulina do n't think it is . It may be the extreme of mortal misery , it may be sheer waste of time , and fruitless torture of feeling . If [Schiller]_372-schiller had said to be loved , [he]_372-schiller might have come nearer the truth . Is not that another thing , [Lucy]_142-lucy , to be loved ? "_{[141-paulina]} " [I]_141-paulina suppose it may be : but why consider the subject ? What is love to [you]_142-lucy ? What do [you]_142-lucy know about it ? "_{[141-paulina]} [She]_141-paulina crimsoned , half in irritation , half in shame . " Now , [Lucy]_142-lucy , "_{[141-paulina]} [she]_141-paulina said , " [I]_141-paulina wo n't take that from [you]_142-lucy . It may be well for [papa]_4218-papa to look on [me]_141-paulina as [a baby]_{927-a baby} : [I]_141-paulina rather prefer that [he]_4218-papa should thus view [me]_141-paulina ; but [you]_142-lucy know and shall learn to acknowledge that [I]_141-paulina am verging on [my]_141-paulina nineteenth year . "_{[141-paulina]} " No matter if it were [your]_142-lucy twenty - ninth ; [we]_6479-we will anticipate no feelings by discussion and conversation ; [we]_6479-we will not talk about love . "_{[141-paulina]} " Indeed , indeed ! "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina - all in hurry and heat - " [you]_142-lucy may think to check and hold [me]_141-paulina in , as much as [you]_142-lucy please ; but [I]_141-paulina have talked about it , and heard about it too ; and a great deal and lately , and disagreeably and detrimentally : and in a way [you]_142-lucy would n't approve . "_{[141-paulina]} And [the vexed , triumphant , pretty , naughty being laughed]_{2938-the vexed , triumphant , pretty , naughty being laughed} . [I]_0-i could not discern what [she]_141-paulina meant , and [I]_0-i would not ask [her]_141-paulina : [I]_0-i was nonplussed . Seeing , however , the utmost innocence in [her]_141-paulina countenance - combined with some transient perverseness and petulance - [I]_0-i said at last , - " Who talks to [you]_141-paulina disagreeably and detrimentally on such matters ? Who that has near access to [you]_141-paulina would dare to do it ? "_[0-i] " [Lucy]_142-lucy , "_{[141-paulina]} replied [she]_141-paulina more softly , " it is [a person who makes [me]_141-paulina miserable sometimes]_{6480-a person who makes me miserable sometimes} ; and [I]_141-paulina wish [she]_{6480-a person who makes me miserable sometimes} would keep away - [I]_141-paulina do n't want [her]_{6480-a person who makes me miserable sometimes} . "_{[141-paulina]} " But who , [Paulina]_141-paulina , can it be ? [You]_141-paulina puzzle [me]_0-i much . "_[0-i] " It is - it is [[my]_141-paulina cousin]_{6238-my cousin} [Ginevra]_179-ginevra . Every time [she]_179-ginevra has leave to visit [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} [she]_179-ginevra calls [here]_4212-here , and whenever [she]_179-ginevra finds [me]_141-paulina alone [she]_179-ginevra begins to talk about [[her]_179-ginevra admirers]_{6483-her admirers} . Love , indeed ! [You]_0-i should hear all [she]_179-ginevra has to say about love . "_{[141-paulina]} " Oh , [I]_0-i have heard it , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , quite coolly ; " and on the whole , perhaps it is as well [you]_0-i should have heard it too : it is not to be regretted , it is all right . Yet , surely , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra 's mind can not influence [yours]_0-i . [You]_0-i can look over both [her]_179-ginevra head and [her]_179-ginevra heart . "_[0-i] " [She]_179-ginevra does influence [me]_141-paulina very much . [She]_179-ginevra has the art of disturbing [my]_141-paulina happiness and unsettling [my]_141-paulina opinions . [She]_179-ginevra hurts [me]_141-paulina through the feelings and [people]_531-people dearest to [me]_141-paulina . "_{[141-paulina]} " What does [she]_179-ginevra say , [Paulina]_141-paulina ? Give [me]_141-paulina some idea . There may be counteraction of the damage done . "_{[141-paulina]} " [The people [I]_0-i have longest and most esteemed]_{6485-the people i have longest and most esteemed} are degraded by [her]_179-ginevra . [She]_179-ginevra does not spare [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} - [she]_179-ginevra does not spare [.... Graham]_135-graham . "_[0-i] " No , [I]_141-paulina daresay : and how does [she]_179-ginevra mix up these with [her]_179-ginevra sentiment and [her]_179-ginevra .... love ? [She]_179-ginevra does mix them , [I]_141-paulina suppose ? "_{[141-paulina]} " [Lucy]_142-lucy , [she]_179-ginevra is insolent ; and , [I]_141-paulina believe , false . [You]_142-lucy know [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham . [We]_6486-we both know [him]_135-graham . [He]_135-graham may be careless and proud ; but when was [he]_135-graham ever mean or slavish ? Day after day [she]_179-ginevra shows [him]_135-graham to [me]_141-paulina kneeling at [her]_179-ginevra feet , pursuing [her]_179-ginevra like [her]_179-ginevra shadow . [She]_179-ginevra - repulsing [him]_135-graham with insult , and [he]_135-graham imploring [her]_179-ginevra with infatuation . [Lucy]_142-lucy , is it true ? Is any of it true ? "_{[141-paulina]} " It may be true that [he]_135-graham once thought [her]_179-ginevra handsome : does [she]_179-ginevra give [him]_135-graham out as still [[her]_179-ginevra suitor]_{4931-her suitor} ? "_[0-i] " [She]_179-ginevra says [she]_179-ginevra might marry [him]_135-graham any day : [he]_135-graham only waits [her]_179-ginevra consent . "_{[141-paulina]} " It is these tales which have caused that reserve in [your]_142-lucy manner towards [Graham]_135-graham which [[your]_142-lucy father]_{4386-your father} noticed . "_{[141-paulina]} " [They]_6489-they have certainly made [me]_0-i all doubtful about [his]_135-graham character . As [Ginevra]_179-ginevra speaks , [they]_6489-they do not carry with [them]_6489-they the sound of unmixed truth : [I]_0-i believe [she]_179-ginevra exaggerates - perhaps invents - but [I]_0-i want to know how far . "_[0-i] " Suppose [we]_6490-we bring [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra to some proof . Give [her]_179-ginevra an opportunity of displaying the power [she]_179-ginevra boasts . "_{[141-paulina]} " [I]_141-paulina could do that to - morrow . [Papa]_140-papa has asked [some gentlemen]_{6491-some gentlemen} to dinner , [all savants]_{6492-all savants} . [Graham]_135-graham , who , [papa]_4218-papa is beginning to discover , is [a savant]_{6494-a savant} , too - skilled , [they]_6489-they say , in more than one branch of science - is among the number . Now [I]_141-paulina should be miserable to sit at table unsupported , amidst such a party . [I]_141-paulina could not talk to Messieurs A - - and Z - - , [the Parisian Academicians]_{6495-the parisian academicians} : all [my]_141-paulina new credit for manner would be put in peril . [You]_141-paulina and [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} must come for [my]_141-paulina sake ; [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , at a word , will join [you]_141-paulina . "_{[141-paulina]} " Yes ; then [I]_141-paulina will carry a message of invitation , and [she]_179-ginevra shall have the chance of justifying [her]_179-ginevra character for veracity . "_{[141-paulina]} CHAPTER XXVII . [THE HOTEL CRECY]_{86-the hotel crecy} . The morrow turned out a more lively and busy day than [we]_2939-we - or than [I]_0-i , at least - had anticipated . It seems it was the birthday of [one of [the young princes of [Labassecour]_{48-labassecour}]_{2941-the young princes of labassecour}]_{2940-one of the young princes of labassecour} - the eldest , [I]_0-i think , [the Duc de Dindonneau]_{373-the duc de dindonneau} , and a general holiday was given in [his]_{2940-one of the young princes of labassecour} honour at [the schools]_{2942-the schools} , and especially at [the principal " [Athenee]_{95-the athenee} , "_{[373-the duc de dindonneau]} or [college]_2944-college]_{2943-the principal " athenee , " or college} . [The youth of [that institution]_{2946-that institution}]_{2945-the youth of that institution} had also concocted , and were to present a loyal address ; for which purpose [they]_{2945-the youth of that institution} were to be assembled in [the public building where the yearly examinations were conducted]_{2947-the public building where the yearly examinations were conducted} , and the prizes distributed . After the ceremony of presentation , an oration , or " discours , "_{[2948-one of the professors]} was to follow from [one of [the professors]_{2949-the professors}]_{2948-one of the professors} . [Several of [[M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} 's friends]_{2951-m. de bassompierre 's friends}]_{2950-several of m. de bassompierre 's friends} - [the savants]_{2952-the savants} - being more or less connected with [the Athenee]_{95-the athenee} , [they]_{2950-several of m. de bassompierre 's friends} were expected to attend on this occasion ; together with [the worshipful municipality of [Villette]_3-villette]_{2953-the worshipful municipality of villette} , [M. le Chevalier Staas]_{375-m. le chevalier staas} , [the burgomaster]_{2954-the burgomaster} , and [the parents and kinsfolk of [the Athenians]_{2956-the athenians}]_{2955-the parents and kinsfolk of the athenians} in general . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was engaged by [[his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} friends]_{706-his friends} to accompany [them]_{706-his friends} ; [[his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} fair daughter]_{2958-his fair daughter} would , of course , be of the party , and [she]_{2958-his fair daughter} wrote a little note to [Ginevra]_179-ginevra and [myself]_0-i , bidding [us]_2959-us come early that [we]_2959-us might join [her]_{2958-his fair daughter} . As [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra and [I]_0-i were dressing in [the dormitory of [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette}]_{2960-the dormitory of the rue fossette} , [she]_179-ginevra [Miss F.]_{376-miss f.} suddenly burst into a laugh . " What now ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked ; for [she]_{2958-his fair daughter} had suspended the operation of arranging [her]_{2958-his fair daughter} attire , and was gazing at [me]_0-i . " It seems so odd , "_{[2958-his fair daughter]} [she]_{2958-his fair daughter} replied , with [her]_{2958-his fair daughter} usual half - honest half- insolent unreserve , " that [you]_0-i and [I]_{2958-his fair daughter} should now be so much on a level , visiting in the same sphere ; having the same connections . "_{[2958-his fair daughter]} " Why , yes , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i ; " [I]_0-i had not much respect for the connections [you]_{2958-his fair daughter} chiefly frequented awhile ago : [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} and [Co.]_377-co. would never have suited [me]_0-i at all . "_[0-i] " Who are [you]_0-i , [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy ? "_{[2958-his fair daughter]} [she]_{2958-his fair daughter} inquired , in a tone of such undisguised and unsophisticated curiosity , as made [me]_0-i laugh in [my]_0-i turn . " [You]_0-i used to call [yourself]_0-i [a nursery governess]_{6496-a nursery governess} ; when [you]_0-i first came [here]_4212-here [you]_0-i really had the care of [[the children]_{1111-the children} in [this house]_{5145-this house}]_{6499-the children in this house} : [I]_{2958-his fair daughter} have seen [you]_0-i carry [little Georgette]_{295-little georgette beck} in [your]_0-i arms , like a bonne - [few governesses]_{6501-few governesses} would have condescended so far - and now [Madame Beck]_190-madame treats [you]_0-i with more courtesy than [she]_190-madame treats [the Parisienne]_{6502-the parisienne} , [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} ; and [that proud chit]_{6503-that proud chit} , [[my]_{2958-his fair daughter} cousin]_{6238-my cousin} , makes [you]_0-i [[her]_190-madame bosom friend]_{6505-her bosom friend} ! "_{[2958-his fair daughter]} " Wonderful ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i agreed , much amused at [her]_2961-she mystification . " Who am [I]_0-i indeed ? Perhaps [a personage in disguise]_{6506-a personage in disguise} . Pity [I]_0-i do n't look [the character]_{6507-the character} . "_[0-i] " [I]_2961-she wonder [you]_0-i are not more flattered by all this , "_[2961-she] [she]_2961-she went on ; " [you]_0-i take it with strange composure . If [you]_0-i really are the nobody [I]_2961-she once thought [you]_0-i , [you]_0-i must be [a cool hand]_{6508-a cool hand} . "_[2961-she] " The nobody [you]_2961-she once thought [me]_0-i ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i repeated , and [my]_0-i face grew a little hot ; but [I]_0-i would not be angry : of what importance was [a school- girl]_{2962-a school- girl} 's crude use of the terms [nobody]_4256-nobody and [somebody]_{4307-somebody} ? [I]_0-i confined [myself]_0-i , therefore , to the remark that [I]_0-i had merely met with civility ; and asked " what [she]_2961-she saw in civility to throw [the recipient]_{6509-the recipient} into a fever of confusion ? "_[2961-she] " One ca n't help wondering at some things , "_[2961-she] [she]_2961-she persisted . " Wondering at marvels of [your]_0-i own manufacture . Are [you]_0-i ready at last ? "_[2961-she] " Yes ; let [me]_2961-she take [your]_0-i arm . "_[2961-she] " [I]_2961-she would rather not : [we]_6510-we will walk side by side . "_[2961-she] When [she]_2961-she took [my]_0-i arm , [she]_2961-she always leaned upon [me]_0-i [her]_2961-she whole weight ; and , as [I]_0-i was not [a gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} , or [[her]_2961-she lover]_{5767-her lover} , [I]_0-i did not like it . " There , again ! "_[2961-she] [she]_2961-she cried . " [I]_2961-she thought , by offering to take [your]_0-i arm , to intimate approbation of [your]_0-i dress and general appearance : [I]_2961-she meant it as a compliment . "_[2961-she] " [You]_0-i did ? [You]_0-i meant , in short , to express that [you]_0-i are not ashamed to be seen in [the street]_{623-the street} with [me]_2961-she ? That if [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} should be fondling [her]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} lapdog at some window , or [Colonel de Hamal]_230-alfred picking [his]_230-alfred teeth in [a balcony]_{6512-a balcony} , and should catch a glimpse of [us]_6513-us , [you]_0-i would not quite blush for [[your]_0-i companion]_{6514-your companion} ? "_[2961-she] " Yes , "_[2961-she] said [she]_2961-she , with that directness which was [her]_2961-she best point - which gave an honest plainness to [her]_2961-she very fibs when [she]_2961-she told [them]_2967-them - which was , in short , the salt , the sole preservative ingredient of a character otherwise not formed to keep . [I]_0-i delegated the trouble of commenting on this " yes "_[0-i] to [my]_0-i countenance ; or rather , [my]_0-i under - lip voluntarily anticipated [my]_0-i tongue of course , reverence and solemnity were not the feelings expressed in the look [I]_0-i gave [her]_2961-she . " [Scornful , sneering creature]_{6515-scornful , sneering creature} ! "_[2961-she] [she]_2961-she went on , as [we]_2968-we crossed [a great square]_{2969-a great square} , and entered [the quiet , pleasant park]_{2970-the quiet , pleasant park} , [our]_2968-we nearest way to [the Rue Crecy]_{88-the rue crecy} . " [Nobody]_4256-nobody in [this world]_{4390-this world} was ever such a Turk to [me]_2961-she as [you]_0-i are ! "_[2961-she] " [You]_0-i bring it on [yourself]_0-i : let [me]_2961-she alone : have the sense to be quiet : [I]_2961-she will let [you]_0-i alone . "_[2961-she] " As if [one]_607-one could let [you]_0-i alone , when [you]_0-i are so peculiar and so mysterious ! "_[2961-she] " The mystery and peculiarity being entirely the conception of [your]_0-i own brain - maggots - neither more nor less , be so good as to keep [them]_{6313-the intruder} out of [my]_2961-she sight . "_[2961-she] " But are [you]_0-i [anybody]_4239-anybody ? "_[2971-she] persevered [she]_2971-she , pushing [her]_2971-she hand , in spite of [me]_0-i , under [my]_0-i arm ; and that arm pressed itself with inhospitable closeness against [my]_0-i side , by way of keeping out [the intruder]_{6313-the intruder} . " Yes , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , " [I]_0-i am [a rising character]_{6520-a rising character} : once [[an old lady]_{6521-an old lady} 's companion]_{6522-an old lady 's companion} , then [a nursery - governess]_{6523-a nursery - governess} , now [a school - teacher]_{6524-a school - teacher} . "_[0-i] " Do - do tell [me]_2971-she who [you]_0-i are ? [I]_2971-she 'll not repeat it , "_[2971-she] [she]_2971-she urged , adhering with ludicrous tenacity to the wise notion of an incognito [she]_2971-she had got hold of ; and [she]_2971-she squeezed the arm of which [she]_2971-she had now obtained full possession , and coaxed and conjured till [I]_0-i was obliged to pause in [the park]_{987-the park} to laugh . Throughout [our]_2974-our walk [she]_2971-she rang the most fanciful changes on this theme ; proving , by [her]_2971-she obstinate credulity , or incredulity , [her]_2971-she incapacity to conceive how [any person not bolstered up by birth or wealth , not supported by some consciousness of name or connection]_{2975-any person not bolstered up by birth or wealth , not supported by some consciousness of name or connection} , could maintain an attitude of reasonable integrity . As for [me]_0-i , it quite sufficed to [my]_0-i mental tranquillity that [I]_0-i was known where it imported that known [I]_0-i should be ; the rest sat on [me]_0-i easily : pedigree , social position , and recondite intellectual acquisition , occupied about the same space and place in [my]_0-i interests and thoughts ; [they]_2976-they were [[my]_0-i third - class lodgers]_{2977-my third - class lodgers} - to whom could be assigned only [the small sitting - room]_{2978-the small sitting - room} and [the little back bedroom]_{2979-the little back bedroom} : even if [the dining and drawing - rooms]_{2980-the dining and drawing - rooms} stood empty , [I]_0-i never confessed it to [them]_2976-they , as thinking [minor accommodations better suited to [their]_2976-they circumstances]_{2981-minor accommodations better suited to their circumstances} . [The world]_{811-the world} , [I]_0-i soon learned , held a different estimate : and [I]_0-i make no doubt , [the world]_{811-the world} is very right in [its]_{811-the world} view , yet believe also that [I]_0-i am not quite wrong in [mine]_0-i . There are [people whom a lowered position degrades morally , to whom loss of connection costs loss of self - respect]_{2984-people whom a lowered position degrades morally , to whom loss of connection costs loss of self - respect} : are not these justified in placing the highest value on [that station]_{2985-that station} and association which is [their]_{2984-people whom a lowered position degrades morally , to whom loss of connection costs loss of self - respect} safeguard from debasement ? If [a man]_{823-a man} feels that [he]_{823-a man} would become contemptible in [his]_{823-a man} own eyes were it generally known that [his]_{823-a man} ancestry were simple and not gentle , poor and not rich , [workers]_2987-workers and not [capitalists]_{2988-capitalists} , would it be right severely to blame [him]_{823-a man} for keeping these fatal facts out of sight - for starting , trembling , quailing at the chance which threatens exposure ? The longer [we]_2989-we live , the more out experience widens ; the less prone are [we]_2989-we to judge [[our]_2989-we neighbour]_{2990-our neighbour} 's conduct , to question [the world]_{811-the world} 's wisdom : wherever an accumulation of small defences is found , whether surrounding the prude 's virtue or [the man of the world]_{2992-the man of the world} 's respectability , there , be sure , it is needed . [We]_2989-we reached [the Hotel Crecy]_{2993-the hotel crecy} ; [Paulina]_141-paulina was ready ; [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} was with [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} ; and , under [her]_{130-mrs. bretton} escort and that of [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , [we]_2989-we were soon conducted to the place of assembly , and seated in good seats , at a convenient distance from [the Tribune]_{2994-the tribune} . [The youth of [the Athenee]_{95-the athenee}]_{2995-the youth of the athenee} were marshalled before [us]_2989-we , [the municipality]_{2996-the municipality} and [[their]_{2996-the municipality} bourgmestre]_{2997-their bourgmestre} were in [places of honour]_{2998-places of honour} , [the young princes]_{2999-the young princes} , with [[their]_{2999-the young princes} tutors]_{3000-their tutors} , occupied a conspicuous position , and the body of [the building]_{3001-the building} was crowded with [the aristocracy]_{3002-the aristocracy} and [first burghers of [the town]_{1306-the town}]_{3003-first burghers of the town} . Concerning the identity of [the professor by whom the " discours "_{[3005-the professor by whom the " discours " was to be delivered]} was to be delivered]_{3005-the professor by whom the " discours " was to be delivered} , [I]_0-i had as yet entertained neither care nor question . Some vague expectation [I]_0-i had that [a savant]_{6494-a savant} would stand up and deliver a formal speech , half dogmatism to [the Athenians]_{2956-the athenians} , half flattery to [the princes]_{3008-the princes} . [The Tribune]_{2994-the tribune} was yet empty when [we]_2989-we entered , but in ten minutes after [it]_{2994-the tribune} was filled ; suddenly , in a second of time , a head , chest , and arms grew above the crimson desk . This head [I]_0-i knew : its colour , shape , port , expression , were familiar both to [me]_0-i and [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ; the blackness and closeness of cranium , the amplitude and paleness of brow , the blueness and fire of glance , were details so domesticated in the memory , and so knit with many a whimsical association , as almost by this [their]_3010-their sudden apparition , to tickle fancy to a laugh . Indeed , [I]_0-i confess , for [my]_0-i part , [I]_0-i did laugh till [I]_0-i was warm ; but then [I]_0-i bent [my]_0-i head , and made [my]_0-i handkerchief and a lowered veil the sole confidants of [my]_0-i mirth . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i was glad to see [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; [I]_0-i think it was rather pleasant than otherwise , to behold [him]_{196-m. paul} set up there , fierce and frank , dark and candid , testy and fearless , as when regnant on [his]_{196-m. paul} estrade in class . [His]_{196-m. paul} presence was such a surprise : [I]_0-i had not once thought of expecting [him]_{196-m. paul} , though [I]_0-i knew [he]_{196-m. paul} filled the chair of [Belles Lettres in [the college]_{3012-the college}]_{3011-belles lettres in the college} . With [him]_{196-m. paul} in that Tribune , [I]_0-i felt sure that neither formalism nor flattery would be [our]_3013-our doom ; but for what was vouchsafed [us]_3013-our , for what was poured suddenly , rapidly , continuously , on [our]_3013-our heads - [I]_0-i own [I]_0-i was not prepared . [He]_{196-m. paul} spoke to [the princes]_{3008-the princes} , [the nobles]_{3015-the nobles} , [the magistrates]_{3016-the magistrates} , and [the burghers]_{3017-the burghers} , with just the same ease , with almost the same pointed , choleric earnestness , with which [he]_{196-m. paul} was wo nt to harangue the three divisions of [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} . [The collegians [he]_{196-m. paul} addressed]_{3018-the collegians he addressed} , not as [schoolboys]_{3019-schoolboys} , but as [future citizens]_{3020-future citizens} and [embryo patriots]_{3021-embryo patriots} . The times which have since come on [Europe]_17-europe had not been foretold yet , and [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's spirit seemed new to [me]_0-i . Who would have thought [the flat and fat soil of [Labassecour]_{48-labassecour}]_{3022-the flat and fat soil of labassecour} could yield political convictions and national feelings , such as were now strongly expressed ? Of the bearing of [his]_{196-m. paul} opinions [I]_0-i need here give no special indication ; yet it may be permitted [me]_0-i to say that [I]_0-i believed [the little man]_{1008-the little man} not more earnest than right in what [he]_{196-m. paul} said : with all [his]_{196-m. paul} fire [he]_{196-m. paul} was severe and sensible ; [he]_{196-m. paul} trampled Utopian theories under [his]_{196-m. paul} heel ; [he]_{196-m. paul} rejected wild dreams with scorn ; - but when [he]_{196-m. paul} looked in the face of tyranny - oh , then there opened a light in [his]_{196-m. paul} eye worth seeing ; and when [he]_{196-m. paul} spoke of injustice , [his]_{196-m. paul} voice gave no uncertain sound , but reminded [me]_0-i rather of the band - trumpet , ringing at twilight from [the park]_{987-the park} . [I]_0-i do not think [[his]_{196-m. paul} audience]_{3025-his audience} were generally susceptible of sharing [his]_{196-m. paul} flame in its purity ; but [some of [the college youth]_{3027-the college youth}]_{3026-some of the college youth} caught fire as [he]_{196-m. paul} eloquently told [them]_{3026-some of the college youth} what should be [their]_{3026-some of the college youth} path and endeavour in [[their]_{3026-some of the college youth} country]_{3028-their country} 's and in [Europe]_17-europe 's future . [They]_{3026-some of the college youth} gave [him]_{196-m. paul} a long , loud , ringing cheer , as [he]_{196-m. paul} concluded : with all [his]_{196-m. paul} fierceness , [he]_{196-m. paul} was [[their]_{3026-some of the college youth} favourite professor]_{3029-their favourite professor} . As [[our]_3030-our party]_{3031-our party} left [the Hall]_{573-the hall} , [he]_{196-m. paul} stood at the entrance ; [he]_{196-m. paul} saw and knew [me]_0-i , and lifted [his]_{196-m. paul} hat ; [he]_{196-m. paul} offered [his]_{196-m. paul} hand in passing , and uttered the words " Qu'en dites vous ? "_{[196-m. paul]} - question eminently characteristic , and reminding [me]_0-i , even in this [his]_{196-m. paul} moment of triumph , of that inquisitive restlessness , that absence of what [I]_0-i considered desirable self- control , which were amongst [his]_{196-m. paul} faults . [He]_{196-m. paul} should not have cared just then to ask what [I]_0-i thought , or what [anybody]_4239-anybody thought , but [he]_{196-m. paul} did care , and [he]_{196-m. paul} was too natural to conceal , too impulsive to repress [his]_{196-m. paul} wish . Well ! if [I]_0-i blamed [his]_{196-m. paul} over - eagerness , [I]_0-i liked [his]_{196-m. paul} naivete . [I]_0-i would have praised [him]_{196-m. paul} : [I]_0-i had plenty of praise in [my]_0-i heart ; but , alas ! no words on [my]_0-i lips . Who has words at the right moment ? [I]_0-i stammered some lame expressions ; but was truly glad when [other people]_{1151-other people} , coming up with profuse congratulations , covered [my]_0-i deficiency by [their]_{1151-other people} redundancy . [A gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} introduced [him]_{196-m. paul} to [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} ; and [the Count]_{6347-the count} , who had likewise been highly gratified , asked [him]_{196-m. paul} to join [[his]_{6347-the count} friends]_{706-his friends} for the most part M. [Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's likewise , and to dine with [them]_{706-his friends} at [the Hotel Crecy]_{2993-the hotel crecy} . [He]_{196-m. paul} declined dinner , for [he]_{196-m. paul} was [a man always somewhat shy at meeting the advances of [the wealthy]_{3040-the wealthy}]_{3039-a man always somewhat shy at meeting the advances of the wealthy} : there was a strength of sturdy independence in the stringing of [his]_{196-m. paul} sinews - not obtrusive , but pleasant enough to discover as one advanced in knowledge of [his]_{196-m. paul} character ; [he]_{196-m. paul} promised , however , to step in with [[his]_{196-m. paul} friend]_{2606-his friend} , [M. A]_{378-m. a} - - , [a French Academician]_{3042-a french academician} , in the course of the evening . At dinner that day , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra and [Paulina]_141-paulina each looked , in [her]_179-ginevra own way , very beautiful ; [the former]_{4883-the former} , perhaps , boasted the advantage in material charms , but the latter shone pre - eminent for attractions more subtle and spiritual : for light and eloquence of eye , for grace of [mien]_637-mien , for winning variety of expression . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra 's dress of deep crimson relieved well [her]_179-ginevra light curls , and harmonized with [her]_179-ginevra rose - like bloom . [Paulina]_141-paulina 's attire - in fashion close , though faultlessly neat , but in texture clear and white - made the eye grateful for the delicate life of [her]_179-ginevra complexion , for the soft animation of [her]_179-ginevra countenance , for the tender depth of [her]_179-ginevra eyes , for the brown shadow and bounteous flow of [her]_179-ginevra hair - darker than that of [[her]_179-ginevra Saxon cousin]_{3045-her saxon cousin} , as were also [her]_179-ginevra eyebrows , [her]_179-ginevra eyelashes , [her]_179-ginevra full irids , and large mobile pupils . [Nature]_296-nature having traced all these details slightly , and with a careless hand , in [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's case ; and in [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} 's , wrought them to a high and delicate finish . [Paulina]_141-paulina was awed by [the savants , but not quite to mutism]_{3046-the savants , but not quite to mutism} : [she]_141-paulina conversed modestly , diffidently ; not without effort , but with so true a sweetness , so fine and penetrating a sense , that [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} more than once suspended [his]_{643-her father} own discourse to listen , and fixed on [her]_141-paulina an eye of proud delight . [It]_3048-it was [a polite Frenchman]_{3049-a polite frenchman} , [M. Z]_{379-m. z} - - , a very learned , but quite [a courtly man]_{3050-a courtly man} , who had drawn [her]_141-paulina into discourse . [I]_0-i was charmed with [her]_141-paulina French ; it was faultless - the structure correct , the idioms true , the accent pure ; [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , who had lived half [her]_179-ginevra life on [the Continent]_{18-the continent} , could do nothing like it not that words ever failed [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , but real accuracy and purity [she]_141-paulina neither possessed , nor in any number of years would acquire . Here , too , [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was gratified ; for , on the point of language , [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was critical . [Another listener and observer there]_{3051-another listener and observer there} was ; [one who , detained by some exigency of [his]_{3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession} profession]_{3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession} , had come in late to dinner . [Both ladies]_{3053-both ladies} were quietly scanned by [Dr. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , at the moment of taking [his]_{3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession} seat at the table ; and that guarded survey was more than once renewed . [His]_{3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession} arrival roused [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , who had hitherto appeared listless : [she]_141-paulina now became smiling and complacent , talked - though what [she]_141-paulina said was rarely to the purpose - or rather , was of a purpose somewhat mortifyingly below the standard of the occasion . [Her]_141-paulina light , disconnected prattle might have gratified [Graham]_135-graham once ; perhaps it pleased [him]_135-graham still : perhaps it was only fancy which suggested the thought that , while [his]_135-graham eye was filled and [his]_135-graham ear fed , [his]_135-graham taste , [his]_135-graham keen zest , [his]_135-graham lively intelligence , were not equally consulted and regaled . It is certain that , restless and exacting as seemed the demand on [his]_135-graham attention , [he]_135-graham yielded courteously all that was required : [his]_135-graham manner showed neither pique nor coolness : [Ginevra]_179-ginevra was [[his]_135-graham neighbour]_{3054-his neighbour} , and to [her]_179-ginevra , during dinner , [he]_135-graham almost exclusively confined [his]_135-graham notice . [She]_179-ginevra appeared satisfied , and passed to [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} in very good spirits . Yet , no sooner had [we]_3056-we reached [that place of refuge]_{3057-that place of refuge} , than [she]_179-ginevra again became flat and listless : throwing [herself]_179-ginevra on a couch , [she]_179-ginevra denounced both the " discours "_{[179-ginevra]} and the dinner as stupid affairs , and inquired of [[her]_179-ginevra cousin]_{3058-her cousin} how [she]_179-ginevra could hear such a set of prosaic " gros - bonnets "_{[179-ginevra]} as [[her]_179-ginevra father]_{643-her father} gathered about [him]_{3058-her cousin} . The moment [the gentlemen]_{6131-the gentlemen} were heard to move , [her]_179-ginevra railings ceased : [she]_179-ginevra started up , flew to the piano , and dashed at it with spirit . [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham entering , one of the first , took up [his]_135-graham station beside [her]_179-ginevra . [I]_0-i thought [he]_135-graham would not long maintain that post : there was a position near the hearth to which [I]_0-i expected to see [him]_135-graham attracted : this position [he]_135-graham only scanned with [his]_135-graham eye ; while [he]_135-graham looked , [others]_770-others drew in . The grace and mind of [Paulina]_141-paulina charmed [these thoughtful Frenchmen]_{3062-these thoughtful frenchmen} : the fineness of [her]_141-paulina beauty , the soft courtesy of [her]_141-paulina manner , [her]_141-paulina immature , but real and inbred tact , pleased [their]_{3062-these thoughtful frenchmen} national taste ; [they]_{3062-these thoughtful frenchmen} clustered about [her]_141-paulina , not indeed to talk science ; which would have rendered [her]_141-paulina dumb , but to touch on many subjects in letters , in arts , in actual life , on which it soon appeared that [she]_141-paulina had both read and reflected . [I]_0-i listened . [I]_0-i am sure that though [Graham]_135-graham stood aloof , [he]_135-graham listened too : [his]_135-graham hearing as well as [his]_135-graham vision was very fine , quick , discriminating . [I]_0-i knew [he]_135-graham gathered the conversation ; [I]_0-i felt that the mode in which it was sustained suited [him]_135-graham exquisitely - pleased [him]_135-graham almost to pain . In [Paulina]_141-paulina there was more force , both of feeling and character ; than [most people]_{5910-most people} thought - than [Graham]_135-graham [himself]_135-graham imagined - than [she]_141-paulina would ever show to [those who did not wish to see it]_{3064-those who did not wish to see it} . To speak truth , [reader]_4604-reader , there is no excellent beauty , no accomplished grace , no reliable refinement , without strength as excellent , as complete , as trustworthy . As well might [you]_3066-you look for good fruit and blossom on a rootless and sapless tree , as for charms that will endure in a feeble and relaxed nature . For a little while , the blooming semblance of beauty may flourish round weakness ; but it can not bear a blast : it soon fades , even in serenest sunshine . [Graham]_135-graham would have started had any suggestive spirit whispered of the sinew and the stamina sustaining that delicate nature ; but [I]_0-i who had known [her]_141-paulina as [a child]_{4415-a child} , knew or guessed by what a good and strong root [her]_141-paulina graces held to the firm soil of reality . While [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham listened , and waited an opening in the magic circle , [his]_135-graham glance restlessly sweeping [the room]_{600-the room} at intervals , lighted by chance on [me]_0-i , where [I]_0-i sat in [a quiet nook not far from [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother}]_{3069-a quiet nook not far from my godmother} and [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , who , as usual , were engaged in what [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} called " a two - handed crack : "_{[134-mr. home]} what [the Count]_{6347-the count} would have interpreted as a tete - a - tete . [Graham]_135-graham smiled recognition , crossed [the room]_{600-the room} , asked [me]_0-i how [I]_0-i was , told [me]_0-i [I]_0-i looked pale . [I]_0-i also had [my]_0-i own smile at [my]_0-i own thought : it was now about three months since [Dr. John]_135-graham had spoken to [me]_0-i - a lapse of which [he]_135-graham was not even conscious . [He]_135-graham sat down , and became silent . [His]_135-graham wish was rather to look than converse . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra and [Paulina]_141-paulina were now opposite to [him]_135-graham : [he]_135-graham could gaze [his]_135-graham fill : [he]_135-graham surveyed both forms - studied both faces . [Several new guests]_{3073-several new guests} , [ladies]_622-ladies as well as [gentlemen]_{4709-gentlemen} , had entered [the room]_{600-the room} since dinner , dropping in for the evening conversation ; and amongst [the gentlemen]_{6131-the gentlemen} , [I]_0-i may incidentally observe , [I]_0-i had already noticed by glimpses , a severe , dark , professorial outline , hovering aloof in [an inner saloon]_{3078-an inner saloon} , seen only in vista . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} knew [many of [the gentlemen present]_{3080-the gentlemen present}]_{3079-many of the gentlemen present} , but [I]_0-i think was [a stranger to most of [the ladies]_{4526-the ladies}]_{3081-a stranger to most of the ladies} , excepting [myself]_0-i ; in looking towards the hearth , [he]_{196-m. paul} could not but see [me]_0-i , and naturally made a movement to approach ; seeing , however , [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham also , [he]_{196-m. paul} changed [his]_{196-m. paul} mind and held back . If that had been all , there would have been no cause for quarrel ; but not satisfied with holding back , [he]_{196-m. paul} puckered up [his]_{196-m. paul} eyebrows , protruded [his]_{196-m. paul} lip , and looked so ugly that [I]_0-i averted [my]_0-i eyes from the displeasing spectacle . M. [Joseph Emanuel]_151-joseph had arrived , as well as [[his]_151-joseph austere brother]_{3083-his austere brother} , and at this very moment was relieving [Ginevra]_179-ginevra at the piano . What a master- touch succeeded [her]_179-ginevra school - girl jingle ! In what grand , grateful tones the instrument acknowledged the hand of [the true artist]_{3084-the true artist} ! " [Lucy]_142-lucy , "_[135-graham] began [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , breaking silence and smiling , as [Ginevra]_179-ginevra glided before [him]_135-graham , casting a glance as [she]_179-ginevra passed by , " [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra is certainly [a fine girl]_{6525-a fine girl} . "_{[179-ginevra]} Of course [I]_0-i assented . " Is there , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham pursued , " another in [the room]_{600-the room} as lovely ? "_[135-graham] " [I]_179-ginevra think there is [not another as handsome]_{6527-not another as handsome} . "_{[179-ginevra]} " [I]_135-graham agree with [you]_142-lucy , [Lucy]_142-lucy : [you]_142-lucy and [I]_135-graham do often agree in opinion , in taste , [I]_135-graham think ; or at least in judgment . "_[135-graham] " Do [we]_6528-we ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , somewhat doubtfully . " [I]_0-i believe if [you]_142-lucy had been [a boy]_{4374-a boy} , [Lucy]_142-lucy , instead of [a girl]_{517-a girl} - [[[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} 's god - son instead of [[her]_{4268-my mother} god - daughter]_{6533-her god - daughter}]_{6532-my mother 's god - son instead of her god - daughter} , [we]_6528-we should have been [good friends]_{6534-good friends} : [our]_6528-we opinions would have melted into each other . "_[0-i] [He]_3085-he had assumed a bantering air : a light , half - caressing , half - ironic , shone aslant in [his]_3085-he eye . Ah , [Graham]_135-graham ! [I]_0-i have given more than one solitary moment to thoughts and calculations of [your]_3086-you estimate of [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy : was it always kind or just ? Had [Lucy]_142-lucy been intrinsically the same but possessing the additional advantages of wealth and station , would [your]_3086-you manner to [her]_142-lucy , [your]_3086-you value for [her]_142-lucy , have been quite what they actually were ? And yet by these questions [I]_0-i would not seriously infer blame . No ; [you]_3086-you might sadden and trouble [me]_0-i sometimes ; but then [mine]_0-i was [a soon - depressed , an easily - deranged temperament]_{3087-a soon - depressed , an easily - deranged temperament} - it fell if a cloud crossed the sun . Perhaps before the eye of [severe equity]_{380-severe equity} [I]_0-i should stand more at fault than [you]_3086-you . Trying , then , to keep down the unreasonable pain which thrilled [my]_0-i heart , on thus being made to feel that while [Graham]_135-graham could devote to [others the most grave and earnest , the manliest interest]_{3088-others the most grave and earnest , the manliest interest} , [he]_135-graham had no more than light raillery for [Lucy]_142-lucy , [the friend of lang syne]_{3089-the friend of lang syne} , [I]_0-i inquired calmly , - " On what points are [we]_6535-we so closely in accordance ? "_[0-i] " [We]_6535-we each have [an observant faculty]_{6536-an observant faculty} . [You]_3086-you , perhaps , do n't give [me]_0-i credit for the possession ; yet [I]_0-i have it . "_[0-i] " But [you]_0-i were speaking of tastes : [we]_6535-we may see the same objects , yet estimate them differently ? "_[0-i] " Let [us]_6535-we bring it to the test . Of course , [you]_3086-you can not but render homage to the merits of [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra : now , what do [you]_3086-you think of others in [the room]_{600-the room} ? - [[my]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} , for instance ; or the lions yonder , Messieurs A - - and Z - - ; or , let [us]_6535-we say , [that pale little lady]_{6539-that pale little lady} , [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} ? "_[0-i] " [You]_3086-you know what [I]_0-i think of [[your]_3086-you mother]_{4274-your mother} . [I]_0-i have not thought of [Messieurs A]_{381-messieurs a} - - and Z - - . "_[0-i] " And the other ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i think [she]_{6539-that pale little lady} is , as [you]_3086-you say , [a pale little lady]_{6541-a pale little lady} - pale , certainly , just now , when [she]_{6539-that pale little lady} is fatigued with over - excitement . "_[0-i] " [You]_3086-you do n't remember [her]_{6539-that pale little lady} as [a child]_{4415-a child} ? "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i wonder , sometimes , whether [you]_3086-you do . "_[0-i] " [I]_0-i had forgotten [her]_{6539-that pale little lady} ; but it is noticeable , that circumstances , [persons]_1284-persons , even words and looks , that had slipped [your]_3086-you memory , may , under certain conditions , certain aspects of [your]_3086-you own or another 's mind , revive . "_[0-i] " That is possible enough . "_[0-i] " Yet , "_[3090-he] [he]_3090-he continued , " the revival is imperfect - needs confirmation , partakes so much of the dim character of a dream , or of the airy one of a fancy , that the testimony of [a witness]_{6544-a witness} becomes necessary for corroboration . Were [you]_3086-you not [a guest at [Bretton]_135-graham]_{6545-a guest at bretton} ten years ago , when [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} brought [[his]_{134-mr. home} little girl , whom [we]_6547-we then called ' little [Polly]_141-paulina]_{6546-his little girl , whom we then called ' little polly} , ' to stay with [mamma]_4272-mamma ? "_[3090-he] " [I]_0-i was [there]_512-there the night [she]_{6539-that pale little lady} came , and also the morning [she]_{6539-that pale little lady} went away . "_[0-i] " Rather [a peculiar child]_{6550-a peculiar child} , was [she]_{6539-that pale little lady} not ? [I]_0-i wonder how [I]_0-i treated [her]_{6539-that pale little lady} . Was [I]_0-i fond of [children]_{4815-children} in those days ? Was there anything gracious or kindly about [me]_0-i - [great , reckless , schoolboy]_{6552-great , reckless , schoolboy} as [I]_0-i was ? But [you]_0-i do n't recollect [me]_0-i , of course ? "_[0-i] " [You]_0-i have seen [your]_0-i own picture at [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse} . It is like [you]_0-i personally . In manner , [you]_0-i were almost the same yesterday as to - day . "_[0-i] " But , [Lucy]_142-lucy , how is that ? Such an oracle really whets [my]_0-i curiosity . What am [I]_0-i to - day ? What was [I]_0-i the yesterday of ten years back ? "_[0-i] " Gracious to whatever pleased [you]_0-i - unkindly or cruel to nothing . "_[0-i] " There [you]_0-i are wrong ; [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i was almost a brute to [you]_0-i , for instance . "_[0-i] " [A brute]_{6553-a brute} ! No , [Graham]_135-graham : [I]_0-i should never have patiently endured brutality . "_[0-i] " This , however , [I]_0-i do remember : quiet [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy tasted nothing of [my]_0-i grace . "_[0-i] " As little of [your]_0-i cruelty . "_[0-i] " Why , had [I]_0-i been [Nero]_382-nero [himself]_382-nero , [I]_0-i could not have tormented [a being inoffensive as a shadow]_{6554-a being inoffensive as a shadow} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i smiled ; but [I]_0-i also hushed a groan . Oh ! - [I]_0-i just wished [he]_3091-i would let [me]_0-i alone - cease allusion to [me]_0-i . These epithets - these attributes [I]_0-i put from [me]_0-i . [His]_3091-i " quiet [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy , "_[3091-i] [his]_3091-i " inoffensive shadow , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i gave [him]_3091-i back ; not with scorn , but with extreme weariness : theirs was the coldness and the pressure of lead ; let [him]_3091-i whelm [me]_0-i with no such weight . Happily , [he]_3091-i was soon on another theme . " On what terms were ' [little Polly]_141-paulina ' and [I]_3091-i ? Unless [my]_3091-i recollections deceive [me]_3091-i , [we]_6555-we were [not foes]_{6556-not foes} - "_[3091-i] " [You]_0-i speak very vaguely . Do [you]_0-i think little [Polly]_141-paulina 's memory , not more definite ? "_[3091-i] " Oh ! [we]_6555-we do n't talk of ' [little Polly]_141-paulina ' now . [Pray]_6557-pray say , [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} ; and , of course , [such a stately personage]_{6558-such a stately personage} remembers nothing of [Bretton]_135-graham . Look at [her]_141-paulina large eyes , [Lucy]_142-lucy ; can [they]_6559-they read a word in the page of memory ? Are [they]_6559-they the same which [I]_3091-i used to direct to a horn - book ? [She]_141-paulina does not know that [I]_3091-i partly taught [her]_141-paulina to read . "_[3091-i] " In the Bible on Sunday nights ? "_[3091-i] " [She]_141-paulina has a calm , delicate , rather fine profile now : once what a little restless , anxious countenance was [hers]_141-paulina ! What a thing is [a child]_{4415-a child} 's preference - what a bubble ! Would [you]_0-i believe it ? [that lady]_{577-that lady} was fond of [me]_3091-i ! "_[3091-i] " [I]_0-i think [she]_{577-that lady} was in some measure fond of [you]_0-i , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , moderately . " [You]_0-i do n't remember then ? [I]_0-i had forgotten ; but [I]_0-i remember now . [She]_{577-that lady} liked [me]_0-i the best of whatever there was at [Bretton]_135-graham . "_[0-i] " [You]_0-i thought so . "_[3091-i] " [I]_0-i quite well recall it . [I]_0-i wish [I]_0-i could tell [her]_141-paulina all [I]_0-i recall ; or rather , [I]_0-i wish [some one]_{1654-some one} , [you]_0-i for instance , would go behind and whisper it all in [her]_141-paulina ear , and [I]_0-i could have the delight - here , as [I]_0-i sit - of watching [her]_141-paulina look under the intelligence . Could [you]_0-i manage that , think [you]_0-i , [Lucy]_142-lucy , and make [me]_0-i ever grateful ? "_[0-i] " Could [I]_3092-i manage to make [you]_0-i ever grateful ? "_[3092-i] said [I.]_3092-i " No , [I]_3092-i could not . "_[3092-i] And [I]_0-i felt [my]_0-i fingers work and [my]_0-i hands interlock : [I]_0-i felt , too , an inward courage , warm and resistant . In this matter [I]_0-i was not disposed to gratify [Dr. John]_135-graham : not at all . With now welcome force , [I]_0-i realized [his]_135-graham entire misapprehension of [my]_0-i character and nature . [He]_135-graham wanted always to give [me]_0-i a role not [mine]_0-i . Nature and [I]_0-i opposed [him]_135-graham . [He]_135-graham did not at all guess what [I]_0-i felt : [he]_135-graham did not read [my]_0-i eyes , or face , or gestures ; though , [I]_0-i doubt not , all spoke . Leaning towards [me]_0-i coaxingly , [he]_135-graham said , softly , " Do content [me]_135-graham , [Lucy]_142-lucy . "_[135-graham] And [I]_0-i would have contented , or , at least , [I]_0-i would clearly have enlightened [him]_135-graham , and taught [him]_135-graham well never again to expect of [me]_0-i the part of officious soubrette in a love drama ; when , following [his]_135-graham , soft , eager , murmur , meeting almost [his]_135-graham pleading , mellow - " Do content [me]_{3093-the sudden boa- constrictor} , [Lucy]_142-lucy ! "_{[3093-the sudden boa- constrictor]} a sharp hiss pierced [my]_0-i ear on the other side . " Petite chatte , doucerette , coquette ! "_{[3093-the sudden boa- constrictor]} sibillated [the sudden boa- constrictor]_{3093-the sudden boa- constrictor} ; " vous avez l'air bien triste , soumis , [reveur]_6563-reveur , mais vous ne l'etes pas : c'est moi qui vous le dis : Sauvage ! la flamme a l'ame , l'eclair aux yeux ! "_{[3093-the sudden boa- constrictor]} " Oui ; j'ai la flamme a l'ame , et je dois l'avoir ! "_[0-i] retorted [I]_0-i , turning in just wrath : but [Professor Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} had hissed [his]_{303-professor emanuel} insult and was gone . The worst of the matter was , that [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , whose ears , as [I]_0-i have said , were quick and fine , caught every word of this apostrophe ; [he]_135-graham put [his]_135-graham handkerchief to [his]_135-graham face , and laughed till [he]_135-graham shook . " Well done , [Lucy]_142-lucy , "_[135-graham] cried [he]_135-graham ; " capital ! petite chatte , petite coquette ! Oh , [I]_135-graham must tell [[my]_135-graham mother]_{4268-my mother} ! Is it true , [Lucy]_142-lucy , or half - true ? [I]_135-graham believe it is : [you]_0-i redden to the colour of [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's gown . And really , by [my]_135-graham word , now [I]_135-graham examine [him]_135-graham , that is [the same little man who was so savage with [you]_0-i at the concert]_{6565-the same little man who was so savage with you at the concert} : the very same , and in [his]_135-graham soul [he]_135-graham is frantic at this moment because [he]_135-graham sees [me]_135-graham laughing . Oh ! [I]_135-graham must tease [him]_135-graham . "_[135-graham] And [Graham]_135-graham , yielding to [his]_135-graham bent for mischief , laughed , jested , and whispered on till [I]_0-i could bear no more , and [my]_0-i eyes filled . Suddenly [he]_135-graham was sobered : a vacant space appeared near [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} ; the circle surrounding [her]_{348-miss de bassompierre} seemed about to dissolve . This movement was instantly caught by [Graham]_135-graham 's eye - ever - vigilant , even while laughing ; [he]_135-graham rose , took [his]_135-graham courage in both hands , crossed [the room]_{600-the room} , and made the advantage [his]_135-graham own . [Dr. John]_135-graham , throughout [his]_135-graham whole life , was [a man of luck]_{3095-a man of luck} - [a man of success]_{3096-a man of success} . And why ? Because [he]_135-graham had the eye to see [his]_135-graham opportunity , the heart to prompt to well - timed action , the nerve to consummate a perfect work . And no tyrant - passion dragged [him]_135-graham back ; no enthusiasms , no foibles encumbered [his]_135-graham way . How well [he]_135-graham looked at this very moment ! When [Paulina]_141-paulina looked up as [he]_135-graham reached [her]_141-paulina side , [her]_141-paulina glance mingled at once with an encountering glance , animated , yet modest ; [his]_135-graham colour , as [he]_135-graham spoke to [her]_141-paulina , became half a blush , half a glow . [He]_135-graham stood in [her]_141-paulina presence brave and bashful : subdued and unobtrusive , yet decided in [his]_135-graham purpose and devoted in [his]_135-graham ardour . [I]_0-i gathered all this by one view . [I]_0-i did not prolong [my]_0-i observation - time failed [me]_0-i , had inclination served : the night wore late ; [Ginevra]_179-ginevra and [I]_0-i ought already to have been in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} . [I]_0-i rose , and bade good - night to [[my]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} and [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} . [I]_0-i know not whether [Professor Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} had noticed [my]_0-i reluctant acceptance of [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham 's badinage , or whether [he]_{303-professor emanuel} perceived that [I]_0-i was pained , and that , on the whole , the evening had not been one flow of exultant enjoyment for the volatile , pleasure - loving [Mademoiselle Lucie]_{383-mademoiselle} ; but , as [I]_0-i was leaving [the room]_{600-the room} , [he]_{303-professor emanuel} stepped up and inquired whether [I]_0-i had any one to attend [me]_0-i to [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} . [The professor]_{2055-the professor} now spoke politely , and even deferentially , and [he]_{2055-the professor} looked apologetic and repentant ; but [I]_0-i could not recognise [his]_{2055-the professor} civility at a word , nor meet [his]_{2055-the professor} contrition with crude , premature oblivion . Never hitherto had [I]_0-i felt seriously disposed to resent [his]_{2055-the professor} brusqueries , or freeze before [his]_{2055-the professor} fierceness ; what [he]_{2055-the professor} had said to - night , however , [I]_0-i considered unwarranted : [my]_0-i extreme disapprobation of the proceeding must be marked , however slightly . [I]_0-i merely said : - " [I]_0-i am provided with attendance . "_[0-i] Which was true , as [Ginevra]_179-ginevra and [I]_0-i were to be sent [home]_542-home in [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} ; and [I]_0-i passed [him]_{2055-the professor} with the sliding obeisance with which [he]_{2055-the professor} was wo nt to be saluted in classe by pupils crossing [his]_{2055-the professor} estrade . Having sought [my]_0-i shawl , [I]_0-i returned to [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} stood there as if waiting . [He]_{196-m. paul} observed that the night was fine . " Is it ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said , with a tone and manner whose consummate chariness and frostiness [I]_0-i could not but applaud . It was so seldom [I]_0-i could properly act out [my]_0-i own resolution to be reserved and cool where [I]_0-i had been grieved or hurt , that [I]_0-i felt almost proud of this one successful effort . That " Is it ? "_{[1151-other people]} sounded just like the manner of [other people]_{1151-other people} . [I]_0-i had heard hundreds of such little minced , docked , dry phrases , from the pursed - up coral lips of a score of [self - possessed , self - sufficing misses and mesdemoiselles]_{3104-self - possessed , self - sufficing misses and mesdemoiselles} . That [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} would not stand any prolonged experience of this sort of dialogue [I]_0-i knew ; but [he]_{196-m. paul} certainly merited a sample of [the curt and arid]_{3105-the curt and arid} . [I]_0-i believe [he]_{196-m. paul} thought so [himself]_{196-m. paul} , for [he]_{196-m. paul} took the dose quietly . [He]_{196-m. paul} looked at [my]_0-i shawl and objected to its lightness . [I]_0-i decidedly told [him]_{196-m. paul} it was as heavy as [I]_0-i wished . Receding aloof , and standing apart , [I]_0-i leaned on the banister of [the stairs]_{1526-the stairs} , folded [my]_0-i shawl about [me]_0-i , and fixed [my]_0-i eyes on a dreary religious painting darkening the wall . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra was long in coming : tedious seemed [her]_179-ginevra loitering . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was still there ; [my]_0-i ear expected from [his]_{196-m. paul} lips an angry tone . [He]_{196-m. paul} came nearer . " Now for another hiss ! "_[0-i] thought [I]_0-i : had not the action been too uncivil [I]_0-i could have , stopped [my]_0-i ears with [my]_0-i fingers in terror of the thrill . Nothing happens as [we]_3107-we expect : listen for a coo or a murmur ; it is then [you]_3108-you will hear a cry of prey or pain . Await a piercing shriek , an angry threat , and welcome an amicable greeting , a low kind whisper . M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} spoke gently : - " [Friends]_533-friends , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} , " do not quarrel for a word . Tell [me]_{196-m. paul} , was it [I]_{196-m. paul} or [ce grand fat]_{6567-ce grand fat} d'Anglais "_{[196-m. paul]} so [he]_{196-m. paul} profanely denominated [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , " who made [your]_0-i eyes so humid , and [your]_0-i cheeks so hot as they are even now ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " [I]_0-i am not conscious of [you]_{196-m. paul} , [monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , or of any other having excited such emotion as [you]_{196-m. paul} indicate , "_[0-i] was [my]_0-i answer ; and in giving it , [I]_0-i again surpassed [my]_0-i usual self , and achieved a neat , frosty falsehood . " But what did [I]_{196-m. paul} say ? "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} pursued ; " tell [me]_{196-m. paul} : [I]_{196-m. paul} was angry : [I]_{196-m. paul} have forgotten [my]_{196-m. paul} words ; what were they ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " Such as it is best to forget ! "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i , still quite calm and chill . " Then it was [my]_0-i words which wounded [you]_{196-m. paul} ? Consider them unsaid : permit [my]_0-i retractation ; accord [my]_0-i pardon . "_[0-i] " [I]_{196-m. paul} am not angry , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} . "_{[196-m. paul]} " Then [you]_{196-m. paul} are worse than angry - grieved . Forgive [me]_{196-m. paul} , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , [I]_0-i do forgive [you]_{196-m. paul} . "_[0-i] " Let [me]_3109-his hear [you]_{196-m. paul} say , in the voice natural to [you]_{196-m. paul} , and not in that alien tone , ' Mon ami , je vous pardonne . ' "_[3109-his] [He]_3109-his made [me]_0-i smile . Who could help smiling at [his]_3109-his wistfulness , [his]_3109-his simplicity , [his]_3109-his earnestness ? " Bon ! "_[3109-his] [he]_3109-his cried . " Voila que le jour va poindre ! Dites donc , [mon ami]_{5309-mon ami} . "_[3109-his] " [Monsieur Paul]_{384-monsieur paul} , je vous pardonne . "_[3109-his] " [I]_3109-his will have [no monsieur]_{6571-no monsieur} : speak the other word , or [I]_3109-his shall not believe [you]_{196-m. paul} sincere : another effort - [mon ami]_{5309-mon ami} , or else in English , - [[my]_3109-his friend]_{801-my friend} ! "_[3109-his] Now , " [[my]_3109-his friend]_{801-my friend} "_[3109-his] had rather another sound and significancy than " mon ami ; "_[3109-his] it did not breathe the same sense of domestic and intimate affection ; " mon ami "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could not say to [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; " [[my]_0-i friend]_{801-my friend} , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i could , and did say without difficulty . This distinction existed not for [him]_3109-his , however , and [he]_3109-his was quite satisfied with the English phrase . [He]_3109-his smiled . [You]_3110-you should have seen [him]_3109-his smile , [reader]_4604-reader ; and [you]_3110-you should have marked the difference between [his]_3109-his countenance now , and that [he]_3109-his wore half an hour ago . [I]_0-i can not affirm that [I]_0-i had ever witnessed the smile of pleasure , or content , or kindness round [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's lips , or in [his]_3109-his eyes before . The ironic , the sarcastic , the disdainful , the passionately exultant , [I]_0-i had hundreds of times seen [him]_3109-his express by what [he]_3109-his called a smile , but any illuminated sign of milder or warmer feelings struck [me]_0-i as wholly new in [his]_3109-his visage . It changed it as from a mask to a face : the deep lines left [his]_3109-his features ; the very complexion seemed clearer and fresher ; that swart , sallow , southern darkness which spoke [his]_3109-his Spanish blood , became displaced by a lighter hue . [I]_0-i know not that [I]_0-i have ever seen in [any other human face]_{3112-any other human face} an equal metamorphosis from a similar cause . [He]_3109-his now took [me]_0-i to [the carriage]_{5783-the carriage} : at the same moment [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} came out with [[his]_3109-his niece]_{3114-his niece} . In a pretty humour was [Mistress Fanshawe]_179-ginevra ; [she]_179-ginevra had found the evening a grand failure : completely upset as to temper , [she]_179-ginevra gave way to the most uncontrolled moroseness as soon as [we]_3115-we were seated , and the carriage- door closed . [Her]_179-ginevra invectives against [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham had something venomous in them . Having found [herself]_179-ginevra impotent either to charm or sting [him]_135-graham , hatred was [her]_179-ginevra only resource ; and this hatred [she]_179-ginevra expressed in terms so unmeasured and proportion so monstrous , that , after listening for a while with assumed stoicism , [my]_0-i outraged sense of justice at last and suddenly caught fire . An explosion ensued : for [I]_0-i could be passionate , too ; especially with [[my]_0-i present fair but faulty associate , who never failed to stir the worst dregs of [me]_0-i]_{3116-my present fair but faulty associate , who never failed to stir the worst dregs of me} . It was well that the carriage- wheels made a tremendous rattle over [the flinty Choseville pavement]_{3117-the flinty choseville pavement} , for [I]_0-i can assure [the reader]_{759-the reader} there was neither dead silence nor calm discussion within [the vehicle]_{4683-the vehicle} . Half in earnest , half in seeming , [I]_0-i made it [my]_0-i business to storm down [Ginevra]_179-ginevra . [She]_179-ginevra had set out rampant from [the Rue Crecy]_{6199-the rue crecy} ; it was necessary to tame [her]_179-ginevra before [we]_3121-we reached [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} : to this end it was indispensable to show up [her]_179-ginevra sterling value and high deserts ; and this must be done in language of which the fidelity and homeliness might challenge comparison with the compliments of [a John Knox]_{385-a john knox} to [a Mary Stuart]_{386-a mary stuart} . This was the right discipline for [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ; it suited [her]_179-ginevra . [I]_0-i am quite sure [she]_179-ginevra went to bed that night all the better and more settled in mind and mood , and slept all the more sweetly for having undergone a sound moral drubbing . CHAPTER XXVIII . [THE WATCHGUARD]_{3123-the watchguard} . [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} owned an acute sensitiveness to the annoyance of interruption , from whatsoever cause occurring , during [his]_{196-m. paul} lessons : to pass through the classe under such circumstances was considered by [the teachers and pupils of [the school]_{4856-the school}]_{3124-the teachers and pupils of the school} , individually and collectively , to be as much as [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's or [girl]_3127-girl 's life was worth . [Madame Beck]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame , if forced to the enterprise , would ' skurry " through , retrenching [her]_190-madame skirts , and carefully coasting the formidable estrade , like [a ship dreading breakers]_{6576-a ship dreading breakers} . As to [Rosine]_203-rosine , [the portress - on whom , every half - hour]_{6577-the portress - on whom , every half - hour} , devolved the fearful duty of fetching [pupils]_4924-pupils out of the very heart of one or [other of the divisions]_{6579-other of the divisions} to take [their]_4924-pupils music - lessons in [the oratory]_{1021-the oratory} , [the great or little saloon]_{6581-the great or little saloon} , [the salle - a- manger]_{6582-the salle - a- manger} , or [some other piano - station]_{6583-some other piano - station} - [she]_203-rosine would , upon [her]_203-rosine second or third attempt , frequently become almost tongue - tied from excess of consternation - a sentiment inspired by the unspeakable looks levelled at [her]_203-rosine through a pair of dart - dealing spectacles . One morning [I]_190-madame was sitting in [the carre]_{4820-the carre} , at work upon a piece of embroidery which one of [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} had commenced but delayed to finish , and while [my]_190-madame fingers wrought at the frame , [my]_190-madame ears regaled themselves with listening to the crescendos and cadences of a voice haranguing in [the neighbouring classe]_{6586-the neighbouring classe} , in tones that waxed momentarily more unquiet , more ominously varied . There was a good strong partition - wall between [me]_190-madame and the gathering storm , as well as a facile means of flight through the glass - door to [the court]_{1612-the court} , in case it swept this way ; so [I]_190-madame am afraid [I]_190-madame derived more amusement than alarm from these thickening symptoms . [Poor Rosine]_203-rosine was not safe : four times that blessed morning had [she]_203-rosine made the passage of peril ; and now , for the fifth time , it became [her]_203-rosine dangerous duty to snatch , as it were , a brand from the burning - a pupil from under [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's nose . "_[190-madame] Mon Dieu ! Mon Dieu ! " cried [she]_203-rosine . "_[190-madame] Que vais - je devenir ? [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} va [me]_0-i tuer , je suis sure ; car il est d'une colere ! " Nerved by the courage of desperation , [she]_203-rosine opened the door . "_[190-madame] Mademoiselle La Malle au piano ! " was [her]_203-rosine cry . Ere [she]_203-rosine could make good [her]_203-rosine retreat , or quite close the door , this voice uttered itself : - "_[190-madame] Des ce moment ! - la classe est defendue . La premiere qui ouvrira cette porte , ou passera par cette division , sera pendue - fut - ce [Madame Beck elle - meme]_190-madame ! " Ten minutes had not succeeded the promulgation of this decree when [Rosine]_203-rosine 's French pantoufles were again heard shuffling along [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} . "_{[383-mademoiselle]} [Mademoiselle]_{383-mademoiselle} , " said [she]_203-rosine , "_{[383-mademoiselle]} [I]_0-i would not for a five - franc piece go into that classe again just now : [Monsieur]_{3129-monsieur} 's lunettes are really terrible ; and here is a commissionaire come with a message from [the Athenee]_{95-the athenee} . [I]_0-i have told [Madame Beck]_190-madame [I]_0-i dare not deliver it , and [she]_190-madame says [I]_0-i am to charge [you]_{383-mademoiselle} with it . " "_[190-madame] [Me]_0-i ? No , that is rather too bad ! It is not in [my]_0-i line of duty . Come , come , [Rosine]_203-rosine ! bear [your]_203-rosine own burden . Be brave - charge once more ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i , [Mademoiselle]_{383-mademoiselle} ? - impossible ! Five times [I]_0-i have crossed [him]_{3129-monsieur} this day . [Madame]_190-madame must really hire [a gendarme]_{3130-a gendarme} for this service . Ouf ! Je n'en puis plus ! " "_[190-madame] Bah ! [you]_{383-mademoiselle} are only [a coward]_{901-a coward} . What is the message ? " "_[190-madame] Precisely of the kind with which [Monsieur]_{3132-monsieur} least likes to be pestered : an urgent summons to go directly to [the Athenee]_{95-the athenee} , as there is [an official visitor]_{3133-an official visitor} - [inspector]_{3134-inspector} - [I]_0-i know not what - arrived , and [Monsieur]_{3135-monsieur} must meet [him]_{3132-monsieur} : [you]_{383-mademoiselle} know how [he]_{3132-monsieur} hates a must . " Yes , [I]_{3132-monsieur} knew well enough . [The restive little man]_{6589-the restive little man} detested spur or curb : against whatever was urgent or obligatory , [he]_{6589-the restive little man} was sure to revolt . However , [I]_{3132-monsieur} accepted the responsibility - not , certainly , without fear , but fear blent with other sentiments , curiosity , amongst them . [I]_{3132-monsieur} opened the door , [I]_{3132-monsieur} entered , [I]_{3132-monsieur} closed it behind [me]_{3132-monsieur} as quickly and quietly as a rather unsteady hand would permit ; for to be slow or bustling , to rattle a latch , or leave a door gaping wide , were aggravations of crime often more disastrous in result than the main crime itself . There [I]_{3132-monsieur} stood then , and there [he]_{6589-the restive little man} sat ; [his]_{6589-the restive little man} humour was visibly bad - almost at its worst ; [he]_{6589-the restive little man} had been giving a lesson in arithmetic - for [he]_{6589-the restive little man} gave lessons on any and every subject that struck [his]_{6589-the restive little man} fancy - and arithmetic being a dry subject , invariably disagreed with [him]_{6589-the restive little man} : not [a pupil]_{4902-a pupil} but trembled when [he]_{6589-the restive little man} spoke of figures . [He]_{6589-the restive little man} sat , bent above [his]_{6589-the restive little man} desk : to look up at the sound of an entrance , at the occurrence of a direct breach of [his]_{6589-the restive little man} will and law , was an effort [he]_{6589-the restive little man} could not for the moment bring [himself]_{6589-the restive little man} to make . It was quite as well : [I]_{3132-monsieur} thus gained time to walk up the long classe ; and it suited [my]_{3132-monsieur} idiosyncracy far better to encounter the near burst of anger like [his]_{6589-the restive little man} , than to bear its menace at a distance . At [his]_{6589-the restive little man} estrade [I]_{3132-monsieur} paused , just in front ; of course [I]_{3132-monsieur} was not worthy of immediate attention : [he]_{6589-the restive little man} proceeded with [his]_{6589-the restive little man} lesson . [Disdain]_387-disdain would not do : [he]_{6589-the restive little man} must hear and [he]_{6589-the restive little man} must answer [my]_{3132-monsieur} message . Not being quite tall enough to lift [my]_{3132-monsieur} head over [his]_{6589-the restive little man} desk , elevated upon the estrade , and thus suffering eclipse in [my]_{3132-monsieur} present position , [I]_{3132-monsieur} ventured to peep round , with the design , at first , of merely getting a better view of [his]_{6589-the restive little man} face , which had struck [me]_{3132-monsieur} when [I]_{3132-monsieur} entered as bearing a close and picturesque resemblance to that of a black and sallow tiger . Twice did [I]_{3132-monsieur} enjoy this side - view with impunity , advancing and receding unseen ; the third time [my]_{3132-monsieur} eye had scarce dawned beyond the obscuration of the desk , when it was caught and transfixed through its very pupil - transfixed by the "_{[3132-monsieur]} lunettes . " [Rosine]_203-rosine was right ; these utensils had in them a blank and immutable terror , beyond the mobile wrath of [the wearer]_{1034-the wearer} 's own unglazed eyes . [I]_{3132-monsieur} now found the advantage of proximity : these short - sighted "_{[3132-monsieur]} lunettes " were useless for the inspection of [a criminal]_{6592-a criminal} under [Monsieur]_{6593-monsieur} 's nose ; accordingly , [he]_{6589-the restive little man} doffed them , and [he]_{6589-the restive little man} and [I]_0-i stood on more equal terms . [I]_0-i am glad [I]_0-i was not really much afraid of [him]_{6589-the restive little man} - that , indeed , close in [his]_{6589-the restive little man} presence , [I]_0-i felt no terror at all ; for upon [his]_{6589-the restive little man} demanding cord and gibbet to execute the sentence recently pronounced , [I]_0-i was able to furnish [him]_{6589-the restive little man} with a needleful of embroidering thread with such accommodating civility as could not but allay some portion at least of [his]_{6589-the restive little man} surplus irritation . Of course [I]_0-i did not parade this courtesy before public view : [I]_0-i merely handed the thread round the angle of the desk , and attached it , ready noosed , to the barred back of [the Professor]_{2055-the professor} 's chair . "_[0-i] Que [me]_0-i voulez - vous ? " said [he]_{6589-the restive little man} in a growl of which the music was wholly confined to [his]_{6589-the restive little man} chest and throat , for [he]_{6589-the restive little man} kept [his]_{6589-the restive little man} teeth clenched ; and seemed registering to [himself]_{6589-the restive little man} an inward vow that nothing earthly should wring from [him]_{6589-the restive little man} a smile . [My]_{3136-monsieur} answer commenced uncompromisingly : "_{[3136-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{3136-monsieur} , " [I]_{3136-monsieur} said , "_{[3136-monsieur]} je veux l'impossible , des choses inouies ; " and thinking it best not to mince matters , but to administer the "_{[3136-monsieur]} douche " with decision , in a low but quick voice , [I]_{3136-monsieur} delivered the Athenian message , floridly exaggerating its urgency . Of course , [he]_{6589-the restive little man} would not hear a word of it . "_{[3136-monsieur]} [He]_{3136-monsieur} would not go ; [he]_{3136-monsieur} would not leave [[his]_{3136-monsieur} present class]_{3137-his present class} , let [all the officials of [Villette]_3-villette]_{3138-all the officials of villette} send for [him]_{3136-monsieur} . [He]_{3136-monsieur} would not put [himself]_{3136-monsieur} an inch out of [his]_{3136-monsieur} way at the bidding of [king]_3139-king , [cabinet]_3140-cabinet , and [chambers]_{3141-chambers} together . " [I]_{3136-monsieur} knew , however , that [he]_{3136-monsieur} must go ; that , talk as [he]_{3136-monsieur} would , both [his]_{3136-monsieur} duty and interest commanded an immediate and literal compliance with the summons : [I]_{3136-monsieur} stood , therefore , waiting in silence , as if [he]_{3136-monsieur} had not yet spoken . [He]_{3136-monsieur} asked what more [I]_{3136-monsieur} wanted . "_{[3136-monsieur]} Only [Monsieur]_{3142-monsieur} 's answer to deliver to [the commissionaire]_{3143-the commissionaire} . " [He]_{3136-monsieur} waved an impatient negative . [I]_{3136-monsieur} ventured to stretch [my]_{3136-monsieur} hand to the bonnet - grec which lay in grim repose on the window - sill . [He]_{3136-monsieur} followed this daring movement with [his]_{3136-monsieur} eye , no doubt in mixed pity and amazement at its presumption . "_{[3136-monsieur]} Ah ! " [he]_{3136-monsieur} muttered , "_{[3136-monsieur]} if it came to that - if [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy meddled with [his]_{3142-monsieur} bonnet - grec - [she]_142-lucy might just put it on [herself]_142-lucy , turn garcon for the occasion , and benevolently go to [the Athenee]_{95-the athenee} in [his]_{3142-monsieur} stead . " With great respect , [I]_142-lucy laid the bonnet on the desk , where its tassel seemed to give [me]_142-lucy an awful nod . "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i 'll write a note of apology - that will do ! " said [he]_{3136-monsieur} , still bent on evasion . Knowing well it would not do , [I]_142-lucy gently pushed the bonnet towards [his]_{3136-monsieur} hand . Thus impelled , it slid down the polished slope of the varnished and unbaized desk , carried before it the light steel- framed "_[142-lucy] lunettes , " and , fearful to relate , they fell to the estrade . A score of times ere now had [I]_142-lucy seen them fall and receive no damage - this time , as [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy 's hapless luck would have it , they so fell that each clear pebble became a shivered and shapeless star . Now , indeed , dismay seized [me]_142-lucy - dismay and regret . [I]_142-lucy knew the value of these "_[142-lucy] lunettes " : [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's sight was peculiar , not easily fitted , and these glasses suited [him]_{196-m. paul} . [I]_{3144-traitress} had heard [him]_{196-m. paul} call them [his]_{196-m. paul} treasures : as [I]_{3144-traitress} picked them up , cracked and worthless , [my]_{3144-traitress} hand trembled . Frightened through all [my]_{3144-traitress} nerves [I]_{3144-traitress} was to see the mischief [I]_{3144-traitress} had done , but [I]_{3144-traitress} think [I]_{3144-traitress} was even more sorry than afraid . For some seconds [I]_{3144-traitress} dared not look [the bereaved Professor]_{6595-the bereaved professor} in the face ; [he]_0-i was the first to speak . "_{[3144-traitress]} La ! " said [he]_0-i : "_{[3144-traitress]} [me]_0-i voila veuf de mes lunettes ! [I]_0-i think [Mademoiselle Lucy]_333-lucy will now confess that the cord and gallows are amply earned ; [she]_333-lucy trembles in anticipation of [her]_333-lucy doom . Ah , [traitress]_{3144-traitress} ! [traitress]_{3144-traitress} ! [You]_{3144-traitress} are resolved to have [me]_0-i quite blind and helpless in [your]_{3144-traitress} hands ! " [I]_{3144-traitress} lifted [my]_{3144-traitress} eyes : [his]_0-i face , instead of being irate , lowering , and furrowed , was overflowing with the smile , coloured with the bloom [I]_{3144-traitress} had seen brightening it that evening at [the Hotel Crecy]_{2993-the hotel crecy} . [He]_0-i was not angry - not even grieved . For the real injury [he]_0-i showed [himself]_0-i full of clemency ; under the real provocation , patient as [a saint]_{6597-a saint} . This event , which seemed so untoward - which [I]_{3144-traitress} thought had ruined at once [my]_{3144-traitress} chance of successful persuasion - proved [my]_{3144-traitress} best help . Difficult of management so long as [I]_{3144-traitress} had done [him]_0-i no harm , [he]_0-i became graciously pliant as soon as [I]_{3144-traitress} stood in [his]_0-i presence [a conscious and contrite offender]_{6598-a conscious and contrite offender} . Still gently railing at [me]_{3144-traitress} as "_{[3144-traitress]} une forte femme - une Anglaise terrible - une petite casse - tout " - [he]_0-i declared that [he]_0-i dared not but obey [one who had given such an instance of [her]_{6599-one who had given such an instance of her dangerous prowess} dangerous prowess]_{6599-one who had given such an instance of her dangerous prowess} ; it was absolutely like [the "_{[3144-traitress]} grand Empereur smashing the vase]_{6600-the " grand empereur smashing the vase} to inspire dismay . " So , at last , crowning [himself]_0-i with [his]_0-i bonnet - grec , and taking [his]_0-i ruined "_{[3144-traitress]} lunettes " from [my]_{3144-traitress} hand with a clasp of kind pardon and encouragement , [he]_0-i made [his]_0-i bow , and went off to [the Athenee]_{95-the athenee} in first - rate humour and spirits . After all this amiability , [the reader]_{759-the reader} will be sorry for [my]_{3144-traitress} sake to hear that [I]_{3144-traitress} was quarrelling with [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} again before night ; yet so it was , and [I]_{3144-traitress} could not help it . It was [his]_0-i occasional custom - and a very laudable , acceptable custom , too - to arrive of an evening , always [a l'improviste]_{6602-a l'improviste} , unannounced , burst in on the silent hour of study , establish a sudden despotism over [us]_6603-us and [our]_6603-us occupations , cause books to be put away , work - bags to be brought out , and , drawing forth a single thick volume , or a handful of pamphlets , substitute for the besotted "_{[3144-traitress]} lecture pieuse , " drawled by [a sleepy pupil]_{6604-a sleepy pupil} , some tragedy made grand by grand reading , ardent by fiery action - some drama , whereof , for [my]_{3144-traitress} part , [I]_{3144-traitress} rarely studied the intrinsic merit ; for [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} made it a vessel for an outpouring , and filled it with [his]_0-i native verve and passion like a cup with a vital brewage . Or else [he]_0-i would flash through [our]_6603-us conventual darkness a reflex of a brighter world , show [us]_6603-us a glimpse of the current literature of the day , read [us]_6603-us passages from some enchanting tale , or the last witty feuilleton which had awakened laughter in [the saloons of [Paris]_59-paris]_{6605-the saloons of paris} ; taking care always to expunge , with the severest hand , whether from tragedy , melodrama , tale , or essay , whatever passage , phrase , or word , could be deemed unsuited to [an audience of "_{[3144-traitress]} jeunes filles]_{6606-an audience of " jeunes filles} . " [I]_{3144-traitress} noticed more than once , that where retrenchment without substitute would have left unmeaning vacancy , or introduced weakness , [he]_0-i could , and did , improvise whole paragraphs , no less vigorous than irreproachable ; the dialogue - the description - [he]_0-i engrafted was often far better than that [he]_0-i pruned away . Well , on the evening in question , [we]_6603-us were sitting silent as [nuns]_1018-nuns in a "_{[3144-traitress]} retreat , " [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} studying , [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers} working . [I]_{3144-traitress} remember [my]_{3144-traitress} work ; it was a slight matter of fancy , and it rather interested [me]_{3144-traitress} ; it had a purpose ; [I]_{3144-traitress} was not doing it merely to kill time ; [I]_{3144-traitress} meant it when finished as a gift ; and the occasion of presentation being near , haste was requisite , and [my]_{3144-traitress} fingers were busy . [We]_6603-us heard the sharp bell - peal which [we]_6603-us all knew ; then the rapid step familiar to each ear : the words "_{[3144-traitress]} Voila Monsieur ! " had scarcely broken simultaneously from every lip , when the two - leaved door split as split it always did for [his]_0-i admission - such a slow word as "_{[3144-traitress]} open " is inefficient to describe [his]_0-i movements , and [he]_0-i stood in the midst of [us]_6603-us . There were two study tables , both long and flanked with benches ; over the centre of each hung a lamp ; beneath this lamp , on either side the table , sat [a teacher]_{4895-a teacher} ; [the girls]_{4757-the girls} were arranged to the right hand and the left ; [the eldest and most studious]_{6612-the eldest and most studious} nearest the lamps or tropics ; [the idlers]_{6613-the idlers} and [little ones towards the north and south poles]_{6614-little ones towards the north and south poles} . [Monsieur]_{6615-monsieur} 's habit was politely to hand a chair to [some teacher]_{6616-some teacher} , generally [Zelie St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , [the senior mistress]_{6617-the senior mistress} ; then to take [her]_{261-mademoiselle} vacated seat ; and thus avail [himself]_{6615-monsieur} of the full beam of [Cancer]_388-cancer or Capricorn , which , owing to [his]_{6615-monsieur} near sight , [he]_{6615-monsieur} needed . As usual , [Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} rose with alacrity , smiling to the whole extent of [her]_{261-mademoiselle} mouth , and the full display of [her]_{261-mademoiselle} upper and under rows of teeth - that strange smile which passes from ear to ear , and is marked only by a sharp thin curve , which fails to spread over the countenance , and neither dimples the cheek nor lights the eye . [I]_{3146-ne bougez pas} suppose [Monsieur]_{6618-monsieur} did not see [her]_{261-mademoiselle} , or [he]_{6618-monsieur} had taken a whim that [he]_{6618-monsieur} would not notice [her]_{261-mademoiselle} , for [he]_{6618-monsieur} was as capricious as [women]_4398-women are said to be ; then [his]_{6618-monsieur} "_{[3146-ne bougez pas]} lunettes " [he]_{6618-monsieur} had got [another pair]_{6620-another pair} served [him]_{6618-monsieur} as an excuse for all sorts of little oversights and shortcomings . Whatever might be [his]_{6618-monsieur} reason , [he]_{6618-monsieur} passed by [Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} , came to the other side of the table , and before [I]_{3144-traitress} could start up to clear the way , whispered , "_{[3144-traitress]} [Ne bougez pas]_{3146-ne bougez pas} , " and established [himself]_{6618-monsieur} between [me]_179-ginevra and [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , who always would be [[my]_179-ginevra neighbour]_{6621-my neighbour} , and have [her]_179-ginevra elbow in [my]_179-ginevra side , however often [I]_179-ginevra declared to [her]_179-ginevra , "_{[179-ginevra]} [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , [I]_0-i wish [you]_179-ginevra were at [Jericho]_99-jericho . " It was easy to say , "_{[179-ginevra]} Ne bougez pas ; " but how could [I]_179-ginevra help it ? [I]_179-ginevra must make [him]_{6618-monsieur} room , and [I]_179-ginevra must request [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} to recede that [I]_179-ginevra might recede . It was very well for [Ginevra]_179-ginevra to be gummed to [me]_179-ginevra , "_{[179-ginevra]} keeping [herself]_179-ginevra warm , " as [she]_179-ginevra said , on the winter evenings , and harassing [my]_179-ginevra very heart with [her]_179-ginevra fidgetings and pokings , obliging [me]_179-ginevra , indeed , sometimes to put an artful pin in [my]_179-ginevra girdle by way of protection against [her]_179-ginevra elbow ; but [I]_179-ginevra suppose [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} was not to be subjected to the same kind of treatment , so [I]_179-ginevra swept away [my]_179-ginevra working materials , to clear space for [his]_{196-m. paul} book , and withdrew [myself]_179-ginevra to make room for [[his]_{196-m. paul} person]_{6623-his person} ; not , however , leaving more than a yard of interval , just what [any reasonable man]_{6624-any reasonable man} would have regarded as a convenient , respectful allowance of bench . But [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} never was reasonable ; flint and tinder that [he]_{196-m. paul} was ! [he]_{196-m. paul} struck and took fire directly . "_{[179-ginevra]} Vous ne voulez pas de moi pour voisin , " [he]_{196-m. paul} growled : "_{[179-ginevra]} vous vous donnez des airs de caste ; vous [me]_0-i traitez en paria ; " [he]_{196-m. paul} scowled . "_[0-i] Soit ! je vais arranger la chose ! " And [he]_{196-m. paul} set to work . "_{[179-ginevra]} Levez vous toutes , Mesdemoiselles ! " cried [he]_{196-m. paul} . [The girls]_{4757-the girls} rose . [He]_{196-m. paul} made [them]_{4757-the girls} all file off to the other table . [He]_{196-m. paul} then placed [me]_{3149-le faux dieu} at one extremity of the long bench , and having duly and carefully brought [me]_{3149-le faux dieu} [my]_{3149-le faux dieu} work - basket , silk , scissors , all [my]_{3149-le faux dieu} implements , [he]_{196-m. paul} fixed [himself]_{196-m. paul} quite at the other end . At this arrangement , highly absurd as it was , not [a soul in [the room]_{600-the room}]_{6626-a soul in the room} dared to laugh ; luckless for [the giggler]_{6628-the giggler} would have been the giggle . As for [me]_{3149-le faux dieu} , [I]_{3149-le faux dieu} took it with entire coolness . There [I]_{3149-le faux dieu} sat , isolated and cut off from human intercourse ; [I]_{3149-le faux dieu} sat and minded [my]_{3149-le faux dieu} work , and was quiet , and not at all unhappy . "_{[3149-le faux dieu]} Est ce assez de distance ? " [he]_{196-m. paul} demanded . "_{[3149-le faux dieu]} Monsieur en est l'arbitre , " said [I.]_{3149-le faux dieu} "_{[3149-le faux dieu]} Vous savez bien que non . C'est vous qui avez cree ce vide immense : [moi]_3147-moi je n'y ai pas mis la main . " And with this assertion [he]_{196-m. paul} commenced the reading . For [his]_{196-m. paul} misfortune [he]_{196-m. paul} had chosen a French translation of what [he]_{196-m. paul} called "_[3147-moi] [un drame de Williams Shackspire]_{3148-un drame de williams shackspire} ; [le faux dieu]_{3149-le faux dieu} , " [he]_{196-m. paul} further announced , "_{[3149-le faux dieu]} de ces sots paiens , les Anglais . " How far otherwise [he]_{196-m. paul} would have characterized [him]_{196-m. paul} had [his]_{196-m. paul} temper not been upset , [I]_{3149-le faux dieu} scarcely need intimate . Of course , the translation being French , was very inefficient ; nor did [I]_{3149-le faux dieu} make any particular effort to conceal the contempt which some of its forlorn lapses were calculated to excite . Not that it behoved or beseemed [me]_{3149-le faux dieu} to say anything : but [one]_607-one can occasionally look the opinion it is forbidden to embody in words . [Monsieur]_{6630-monsieur} 's lunettes being on the alert , [he]_{196-m. paul} gleaned up every stray look ; [I]_{3149-le faux dieu} do n't think [he]_{196-m. paul} lost one : the consequence was , [his]_{196-m. paul} eyes soon discarded a screen , that their blaze might sparkle free , and [he]_{196-m. paul} waxed hotter at the north pole to which [he]_{196-m. paul} had voluntarily exiled [himself]_{196-m. paul} , than , considering the general temperature of [the room]_{600-the room} , it would have been reasonable to become under the vertical ray of Cancer itself . The reading over , it appeared problematic whether [he]_{196-m. paul} would depart with [his]_{196-m. paul} anger unexpressed , or whether [he]_{196-m. paul} would give it vent . Suppression was not much in [his]_{196-m. paul} habits ; but still , what had been done to [him]_{196-m. paul} definite enough to afford matter for overt reproof ? [I]_{3149-le faux dieu} had not uttered a sound , and could not justly be deemed amenable to reprimand or penalty for having permitted a slightly freer action than usual to the muscles about [my]_{3149-le faux dieu} eyes and mouth . The supper , consisting of bread , and milk diluted with tepid water , was brought in . In respectful consideration of [the Professor]_{2055-the professor} 's presence , the rolls and glasses were allowed to stand instead of being immediately handed round . "_{[3149-le faux dieu]} Take [your]_3150-your supper , [ladies]_622-ladies , " said [he]_{196-m. paul} , seeming to be occupied in making marginal notes to [his]_{196-m. paul} "_[622-ladies] Williams Shackspire . " [They]_622-ladies took it . [I]_3152-i also accepted a roll and glass , but being now more than ever interested in [my]_3152-i work , [I]_3152-i kept [my]_3152-i seat of punishment , and wrought while [I]_3152-i munched [my]_3152-i bread and sipped [my]_3152-i beverage , the whole with easy sang - froid ; with a certain snugness of composure , indeed , scarcely in [my]_3152-i habits , and pleasantly novel to [my]_3152-i feelings . It seemed as if the presence of a nature so restless , chafing , thorny as that of [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} absorbed all feverish and unsettling influences like a magnet , and left [me]_3152-i none but such as were placid and harmonious . [He]_{196-m. paul} rose . "_[3152-i] Will [he]_3152-i go away without saying another word ? " Yes ; [he]_{196-m. paul} turned to the door . No : [he]_{196-m. paul} re -turned on [his]_{196-m. paul} steps ; but only , perhaps , to take [his]_{196-m. paul} pencil - case , which had been left on the table . [He]_{196-m. paul} took it - shut the pencil in and out , broke its point against the wood , re - cut and pocketed it , and . . . walked promptly up to [me]_3152-i . [The girls]_{4757-the girls} and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} , gathered round the other table , were talking pretty freely : [they]_{4757-the girls} always talked at meals ; and , from the constant habit of speaking fast and loud at such times , did not now subdue [their]_{4757-the girls} voices much . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} came and stood behind [me]_3152-i . [He]_{196-m. paul} asked at what [I]_3152-i was working ; and [I]_3152-i said [I]_3152-i was making [a watchguard]_{6635-a watchguard} . [He]_{196-m. paul} asked , "_[3152-i] For whom ? " And [I]_3152-i answered , "_[3152-i] For [a gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} - [one of [[my]_0-i friends]_{2626-my friends}]_{3154-one of my friends} . " [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} stooped down and proceeded - as [novel - writers]_{6636-novel - writers} say , and , as was literally true in [his]_{196-m. paul} case - to "_{[629-a gentleman]} hiss " into [my]_389-fougue ear some poignant words . [He]_{196-m. paul} said that , of [all the women [he]_{196-m. paul} knew]_{6637-all the women he knew} , [I]_389-fougue was the one who could make [herself]_389-fougue the most consummately unpleasant : [I]_389-fougue was [she]_6638-she with whom it was least possible to live on friendly terms . [I]_389-fougue had a "_[389-fougue] caractere intraitable , " and perverse to a miracle . How [I]_389-fougue managed it , or what possessed [me]_389-fougue , [he]_{196-m. paul} , for [his]_{196-m. paul} part , did not know ; but with whatever pacific and amicable intentions [a person]_{6639-a person} accosted [me]_389-fougue - crac ! [I]_389-fougue turned concord to discord , good - will to enmity . [He]_{196-m. paul} was sure , [he]_{196-m. paul} - [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} - wished [me]_389-fougue well enough ; [he]_{196-m. paul} had never done [me]_389-fougue any harm that [he]_{196-m. paul} knew of ; [he]_{196-m. paul} might , at least , [he]_{196-m. paul} supposed , claim a right to be regarded as [a neutral acquaintance]_{6640-a neutral acquaintance} , guiltless of hostile sentiments : yet , how [I]_389-fougue behaved to [him]_{196-m. paul} ! With what pungent vivacities - what an impetus of mutiny - what a "_[389-fougue] fougue " of injustice ! Here [I]_389-fougue could not avoid opening [my]_389-fougue eyes somewhat wide , and even slipping in a slight interjectional observation : "_[389-fougue] Vivacities ? Impetus ? [Fougue]_389-fougue ? [I]_0-i did n't know .... " "_[0-i] Chut ! a l'instant ! There ! there [I]_0-i went - vive comme la poudre ! " [He]_{196-m. paul} was sorry - [he]_{196-m. paul} was very sorry : for [my]_0-i sake [he]_{196-m. paul} grieved over the hapless peculiarity . This "_[0-i] emportement , " [this "_[389-fougue] chaleur "]_{6641-this " chaleur "} - generous , perhaps , but excessive - would yet , [he]_{196-m. paul} feared , do [me]_389-fougue a mischief . It was a pity : [I]_389-fougue was not - [he]_{196-m. paul} believed , in [his]_{196-m. paul} soul - wholly without good qualities : and would [I]_389-fougue but hear reason , and be more sedate , more sober , less "_[389-fougue] en l'air , " less "_[389-fougue] coquette , " less taken by show , less prone to set an undue value on outside excellence - to make much of the attentions of [people]_531-people remarkable chiefly for so many feet of stature , "_[389-fougue] des couleurs de poupee , " "_[3156-he] un nez plus ou moins bien fait , " and an enormous amount of fatuity - [I]_3156-he might yet prove an useful , perhaps an exemplary character . But , as it was - And here , [the little man]_{1008-the little man} 's voice was for a minute choked . [I]_3156-he would have looked up at [him]_{1008-the little man} , or held out [my]_3156-he hand , or said a soothing word ; but [I]_3156-he was afraid , if [I]_3156-he stirred , [I]_3156-he should either laugh or cry ; so odd , in all this , was the mixture of the touching and the absurd . [I]_3156-he thought [he]_{1008-the little man} had nearly done : but no ; [he]_{1008-the little man} sat down that [he]_{1008-the little man} might go on at [his]_{1008-the little man} ease . "_[3156-he] While [he]_3156-he , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , was on these painful topics , [he]_3156-he would dare [my]_0-i anger for the sake of [my]_0-i good , and would venture to refer to a change [he]_3156-he had noticed in [my]_0-i dress . [He]_3156-he was free to confess that when [he]_3156-he first knew [me]_0-i - or , rather , was in the habit of catching a passing glimpse of [me]_0-i from time to time - [I]_0-i satisfied [him]_3156-he on this point : the gravity , the austere simplicity , obvious in this particular , were such as to inspire the highest hopes for [my]_0-i best interests . What fatal influence had impelled [me]_0-i lately to introduce flowers under the brim of [my]_0-i bonnet , to wear ' des cols brodes , ' and even to appear on one occasion in a scarlet gown - [he]_3156-he might indeed conjecture , but , for the present , would not openly declare . " Again [I]_390-scarlet interrupted , and this time not without an accent at once indignant and horror - struck . "_{[390-scarlet]} [Scarlet]_390-scarlet , [Monsieur Paul]_{384-monsieur paul} ? It was not scarlet ! It was pink , and pale pink to : and further subdued by black lace . " "_[3156-he] Pink or scarlet , yellow or crimson , pea - green or sky - blue , it was all one : these were all flaunting , giddy colours ; and as to the lace [I]_0-i talked of , that was but a ' colifichet de plus . ' " And [he]_3156-he sighed over [my]_3156-he degeneracy . "_[3156-he] [He]_3156-he could not , [he]_3156-he was sorry to say , be so particular on this theme as [he]_3156-he could wish : not possessing the exact names of these ' babioles , ' [he]_3156-he might run into small verbal errors which would not fail to lay [him]_3156-he open to [my]_0-i sarcasm , and excite [my]_0-i unhappily sudden and passionate disposition . [He]_3156-he would merely say , in general terms - and in these general terms [he]_3156-he knew [he]_3156-he was correct - that [my]_0-i costume had of late assumed ' des facons mondaines , ' which it wounded [him]_3156-he to see . " What "_[3156-he] facons mondaines " [he]_3156-he discovered in [my]_0-i present winter merino and plain white collar , [I]_0-i own it puzzled [me]_0-i to guess : and when [I]_0-i asked [him]_3156-he , [he]_3156-he said it was all made with too much attention to effect - and besides , "_[0-i] had [I]_0-i not a bow of ribbon at [my]_0-i neck ? " "_[0-i] And if [you]_3156-he condemn a bow of ribbon for [a lady]_{1639-a lady} , [Monsieur]_{3158-monsieur} , [you]_3156-he would necessarily disapprove of a thing like this for [a gentleman]_{629-a gentleman} ? " - holding up [my]_3156-he bright little chainlet of silk and gold . [His]_3156-he sole reply was a groan - [I]_3156-he suppose over [my]_3156-he levity . After sitting some minutes in silence , and watching the progress of the chain , at which [I]_3156-he now wrought more assiduously than ever , [he]_3156-he inquired : "_[3156-he] Whether what [he]_{629-a gentleman} had just said would have the effect of making [me]_0-i entirely detest [him]_{629-a gentleman} ? " [I]_{629-a gentleman} hardly remember what answer [I]_{629-a gentleman} made , or how it came about ; [I]_{629-a gentleman} do n't think [I]_{629-a gentleman} spoke at all , but [I]_{629-a gentleman} know [we]_6644-we managed to bid good - night on friendly terms : and , even after [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} had reached the door , [he]_3156-he turned back just to explain , "_{[629-a gentleman]} that [he]_{629-a gentleman} would not be understood to speak in entire condemnation of the scarlet dress " "_{[629-a gentleman]} Pink ! pink ! " [I]_{629-a gentleman} threw in ; "_{[629-a gentleman]} that [he]_{629-a gentleman} had no intention to deny it the merit of looking rather well " the fact was , [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's taste in colours decidedly leaned to the brilliant ; "_{[629-a gentleman]} only [he]_{629-a gentleman} wished to counsel [me]_0-i , whenever , [I]_0-i wore it , to do so in the same spirit as if its material were ' bure , ' and its hue ' gris de poussiere . ' " "_{[629-a gentleman]} And the flowers under [my]_0-i bonnet , [Monsieur]_{3160-monsieur} ? " [I]_{3160-monsieur} asked . "_{[3160-monsieur]} They are very little ones - ? " "_{[3160-monsieur]} Keep them little , then , " said [he]_{3160-monsieur} . "_{[3160-monsieur]} Permit them not to become full- blown . " "_{[3160-monsieur]} And the bow , [Monsieur]_{3161-monsieur} - the bit of ribbon ? " "_{[3161-monsieur]} Va pour le ruban ! " was the propitious answer . And so [we]_6645-we settled it . "_{[3161-monsieur]} Well done , [Lucy Snowe]_333-lucy ! " cried [I]_333-lucy to [myself]_333-lucy ; "_[333-lucy] [you]_333-lucy have come in for a pretty lecture - brought on [yourself]_333-lucy [a ' rude savant]_{3162-a ' rude savant} , ' and all through [your]_333-lucy wicked fondness for worldly vanities ! Who would have thought it ? [You]_333-lucy deemed [yourself]_333-lucy [a melancholy sober]_{3163-a melancholy sober} - sides enough ! [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra there regards [you]_333-lucy as [a second Diogenes]_{3164-a second diogenes} . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , the other day , politely turned the conversation when it ran on the wild gifts of [the actress Vashti]_{3165-the actress vashti} , because , as [he]_{3160-monsieur} kindly said , ' [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy looked uncomfortable . ' [Dr. John Bretton]_135-graham knows [you]_333-lucy only as ' quiet [Lucy]_142-lucy ' - ' [a creature inoffensive as a shadow]_{3166-a creature inoffensive as a shadow} ; ' [he]_135-graham has said , and [you]_333-lucy have heard [him]_135-graham say it : ' [Lucy]_142-lucy 's disadvantages spring from over - gravity in tastes and manner - want of colour in character and costume . ' Such are [your]_333-lucy own and [[your]_333-lucy friends]_{3167-your friends} ' impressions ; and behold ! there starts up [a little man]_{3168-a little man} , differing diametrically from all these , roundly charging [you]_333-lucy with being too airy and cheery - too volatile and versatile - too flowery and coloury . [This harsh little man]_{3169-this harsh little man} - [this pitiless censor]_{3170-this pitiless censor} - gathers up all [your]_333-lucy poor scattered sins of vanity , [your]_333-lucy luckless chiffon of rose- colour , [your]_333-lucy small fringe of a wreath , [your]_333-lucy small scrap of ribbon , [your]_333-lucy silly bit of lace , and calls [you]_333-lucy to account for the lot , and for each item . [You]_333-lucy are well habituated to be passed by as a shadow in [Life]_391-life 's sunshine : it its a new thing to see one testily lifting [his]_3171-his hand to screen [his]_3171-his eyes , because [you]_333-lucy tease [him]_3171-his with an obtrusive ray . " CHAPTER XXIX . MONSIEUR 'S FETE . [I]_333-lucy was up the next morning an hour before daybreak , and finished [my]_333-lucy guard , kneeling on the dormitory floor beside the centre stand , for the benefit of such expiring glimmer as the night - lamp afforded in its last watch . All [my]_333-lucy materials - [my]_333-lucy whole stock of beads and silk - were used up before the chain assumed the length and richness [I]_333-lucy wished ; [I]_333-lucy had wrought it double , as [I]_333-lucy knew , by the rule of contraries , that to , suit the particular taste whose gratification was in view , an effective appearance was quite indispensable . As a finish to the ornament , a little gold clasp was needed ; fortunately [I]_333-lucy possessed it in the fastening of [my]_333-lucy sole necklace ; [I]_333-lucy duly detached and re - attached it , then coiled compactly the completed guard ; and enclosed it in a small box [I]_333-lucy had bought for its brilliancy , made of some tropic shell of the colour called "_[333-lucy] nacarat , " and decked with a little coronal of sparkling blue stones . Within the lid of the box , [I]_333-lucy carefully graved with [my]_333-lucy scissors ' point certain initials . [The reader]_{759-the reader} will , perhaps , remember the description of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's fete ; nor will [he]_{759-the reader} have forgotten that at each anniversary , a handsome present was subscribed for and offered by [the school]_{4856-the school} . The observance of this day was a distinction accorded to none but [Madame]_190-madame , and , in a modified form , to [[her]_190-madame kinsman]_{2823-her kinsman} and [counsellor]_{6649-counsellor} , [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} . In the latter case it was an honour spontaneously awarded , not plotted and contrived beforehand , and offered an additional proof , amongst many others , of the estimation in which - despite [his]_{196-m. paul} partialities , prejudices , and irritabilities - [the professor of literature]_{5372-the professor of literature} was held by [[his]_{196-m. paul} pupils]_{6651-his pupils} . No article of value was offered to [him]_{196-m. paul} : [he]_{196-m. paul} distinctly gave it to be understood , that [he]_{196-m. paul} would accept neither plate nor jewellery . Yet [he]_{196-m. paul} liked a slight tribute ; the cost , the money - value , did not touch [him]_{196-m. paul} : a diamond ring , a gold snuff - box , presented , with pomp , would have pleased [him]_{196-m. paul} less than a flower , or a drawing , offered simply and with sincere feelings . Such was [his]_{196-m. paul} nature . [He]_{196-m. paul} was [a man]_{823-a man} , not wise in [[his]_{196-m. paul} generation]_{6653-his generation} , yet could [he]_{196-m. paul} claim a filial sympathy with "_[333-lucy] the dayspring on high . " [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's fete fell on the first of March and a Thursday . It proved a fine sunny day ; and being likewise the morning on which it was customary to attend mass ; being also otherwise distinguished by the half - holiday which permitted the privilege of walking out , shopping , or paying visits in the afternoon : these combined considerations induced a general smartness and freshness of dress . Clean collars were in vogue ; the ordinary dingy woollen classe - dress was exchanged for something lighter and clearer . [Mademoiselle Zelie St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , on this particular Thursday , even assumed a "_[333-lucy] robe de soie , " deemed in economical Labassecour an article of hazardous splendour and luxury ; nay , it was remarked that [she]_{261-mademoiselle} sent for a "_[333-lucy] coiffeur " to dress [her]_{261-mademoiselle} hair that morning ; there were pupils acute enough to discover that [she]_{261-mademoiselle} had bedewed [her]_{261-mademoiselle} handkerchief and [her]_{261-mademoiselle} hands with a new and fashionable perfume . [Poor Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} ! It was much [her]_{261-mademoiselle} wo nt to declare about this time , that [she]_{261-mademoiselle} was tired to death of a life of seclusion and labour ; that [she]_{261-mademoiselle} longed to have the means and leisure for relaxation ; to have some one to work for [her]_{261-mademoiselle} - [a husband who would pay [her]_{261-mademoiselle} debts [she]_{261-mademoiselle} was woefully encumbered with debt , supply [her]_{261-mademoiselle} wardrobe]_{6654-a husband who would pay her debts she was woefully encumbered with debt , supply her wardrobe} , and leave [her]_{261-mademoiselle} at liberty , as [she]_{261-mademoiselle} said , to "_[333-lucy] gouter un peu les plaisirs . " It had long been rumoured , that [her]_{261-mademoiselle} eye was upon [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} . [Monsieur Emanuel]_{384-monsieur paul} 's eye was certainly often upon [her]_{261-mademoiselle} . [He]_{384-monsieur paul} would sit and watch [her]_{261-mademoiselle} perseveringly for minutes together . [I]_333-lucy have seen [him]_{384-monsieur paul} give [her]_{261-mademoiselle} a quarter - of - an - hour 's gaze , while [the class]_{6655-the class} was silently composing , and [he]_{384-monsieur paul} sat throned on [his]_{384-monsieur paul} estrade , unoccupied . Conscious always of this basilisk attention , [she]_{261-mademoiselle} would writhe under it , half - flattered , half - puzzled , and [Monsieur]_{6656-monsieur} would follow [her]_{261-mademoiselle} sensations , sometimes looking appallingly acute ; for in some cases , [he]_{6656-monsieur} had the terrible unerring penetration of instinct , and pierced in its hiding - place the last lurking thought of the heart , and discerned under florid veilings the bare ; barren places of the spirit : yes , and its perverted tendencies , and its hidden false curves - all that [men]_4397-men and [women]_4398-women would not have known - the twisted spine , the malformed limb that was born with [them]_6659-them , and far worse , the stain or disfigurement [they]_6659-them have perhaps brought on [themselves]_6659-them . No calamity so accursed but [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} could pity and forgive , if it were acknowledged candidly ; but where [his]_{384-monsieur paul} questioning eyes met dishonest denial - where [his]_{384-monsieur paul} ruthless researches found deceitful concealment - oh , then , [he]_{384-monsieur paul} could be cruel , and [I]_333-lucy thought wicked ! [he]_{384-monsieur paul} would exultantly snatch the screen from [poor shrinking wretches]_{6660-poor shrinking wretches} , passionately hurry [them]_{6660-poor shrinking wretches} to [the summit of [the mount of exposure]_{6662-the mount of exposure}]_{6661-the summit of the mount of exposure} , and there show [them]_{6660-poor shrinking wretches} all naked , all false - poor living lies - the spawn of that horrid Truth which can not be looked on unveiled . [He]_{384-monsieur paul} thought [he]_{384-monsieur paul} did justice ; for [my]_333-lucy part [I]_333-lucy doubt whether [man]_618-man has a right to do such justice on [man]_618-man : more than once in these [his]_{384-monsieur paul} visitations , [I]_333-lucy have felt compelled to give tears to [[his]_{384-monsieur paul} victims]_{6665-his victims} , and not spared ire and keen reproach to [himself]_{384-monsieur paul} . [He]_{384-monsieur paul} deserved it ; but it was difficult to shake [him]_{384-monsieur paul} in [his]_{384-monsieur paul} firm conviction that the work was righteous and needed . Breakfast being over and mass attended , the school - bell rang and [the rooms]_{5260-the rooms} filled : a very pretty spectacle was presented in classe . [Pupils]_4924-pupils and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} sat neatly arrayed , orderly and expectant , each bearing in [her]_6669-her hand the bouquet of felicitation - the prettiest spring - flowers all fresh , and filling the air with their fragrance : [I]_333-lucy only had no bouquet . [I]_333-lucy like to see flowers growing , but when they are gathered , they cease to please . [I]_333-lucy look on [them]_6670-them as things rootless and perishable ; their likeness to life makes [me]_333-lucy sad . [I]_333-lucy never offer flowers to those [I]_333-lucy love ; [I]_333-lucy never wish to receive them from hands dear to [me]_333-lucy . [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} marked [my]_333-lucy empty hands - [she]_{261-mademoiselle} could not believe [I]_333-lucy had been so remiss ; with avidity [her]_{261-mademoiselle} eye roved over and round [me]_333-lucy : surely [I]_333-lucy must have some solitary symbolic flower somewhere : some small knot of violets , something to win [myself]_333-lucy praise for taste , commendation for ingenuity . The unimaginative "_[333-lucy] Anglaise " proved better than [the Parisienne]_{260-the parisienne} 's fears : [she]_3173-she sat literally unprovided , as bare of bloom or leaf as the winter tree . This ascertained , [Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} smiled , well pleased . "_[3172-you] How wisely [you]_3172-you have acted to keep [your]_3172-you money , [Miss Lucie]_{241-miss lucie} , " [she]_3173-she said : ' silly [I]_3173-she have gone and thrown away two francs on a bouquet of hot- house flowers ! "_[3173-she] And [she]_3173-she showed with pride [her]_3173-she splendid nosegay . But hush ! a step : the step . It came prompt , as usual , but with a promptitude , [we]_3174-our felt disposed to flatter [ourselves]_3174-our , inspired by other feelings than mere excitability of nerve and vehemence of intent . [We]_3174-our thought [[our]_3174-our Professor]_{3175-our professor} 's " foot - fall "_[3174-our] to speak romantically had in it a friendly promise this morning ; and so it had . [He]_{3175-our professor} entered in a mood which made [him]_{3175-our professor} as good as a new sunbeam to [the already well - lit first classe]_{3176-the already well - lit first classe} . The morning light playing amongst [our]_3174-our plants and laughing on [our]_3174-our walls , caught an added lustre from [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's all - benignant salute . Like [a true Frenchman]_{3177-a true frenchman} though [I]_0-i do n't know why [I]_0-i should say so , for [he]_{3175-our professor} was of strain neither French nor [Labassecourien]_{100-labassecourien} , [he]_{3175-our professor} had dressed for the ' situation " and the occasion . Not by the vague folds , sinister and conspirator - like , of [his]_{3175-our professor} soot- dark paletot were the outlines of [[his]_{3175-our professor} person]_{6623-his person} obscured ; on the contrary , [his]_{3175-our professor} figure such as it was , [I]_{3175-our professor} do n't boast of it was well set off by a civilized coat and a silken vest quite pretty to behold . [The defiant and pagan bonnet - grec]_{6672-the defiant and pagan bonnet - grec} had vanished : bare - headed , [he]_{3175-our professor} came upon [us]_3174-our , carrying a Christian hat in [his]_{3175-our professor} gloved hand . [The little man]_{1008-the little man} looked well , very well ; there was a clearness of amity in [his]_{3175-our professor} blue eye , and a glow of good feeling on [his]_{3175-our professor} dark complexion , which passed perfectly in the place of beauty : [one]_607-one really did not care to observe that [his]_{3175-our professor} nose , though far from small , was of no particular shape , [his]_{3175-our professor} cheek thin , [his]_{3175-our professor} brow marked and square , [his]_{3175-our professor} mouth no rose - bud : [one]_607-one accepted [him]_{3175-our professor} as [he]_{3175-our professor} was , and felt [his]_{3175-our professor} presence the reverse of damping or insignificant . [He]_{3175-our professor} passed to [his]_{3175-our professor} desk ; [he]_{3175-our professor} placed on the same [his]_{3175-our professor} hat and gloves . "_{[3175-our professor]} Bon jour , mes amies , " said [he]_{3175-our professor} , in a tone that somehow made amends to some amongst [us]_3174-our for many a sharp snap and savage snarl : not a jocund , good- fellow tone , still less an unctuous priestly , accent , but a voice [he]_{3175-our professor} had belonging to [himself]_{3175-our professor} - a voice used when [his]_{3175-our professor} heart passed the words to [his]_{3175-our professor} lips . That same heart did speak sometimes ; though an irritable , it was not an ossified organ : in its core was a place , tender beyond [a man]_{823-a man} 's tenderness ; a place that humbled [him]_{3175-our professor} to [little children]_{1710-little children} , that bound [him]_{3175-our professor} to [girls]_702-girls and [women]_4398-women to whom , rebel as [he]_{3175-our professor} would , [he]_{3175-our professor} could not disown [his]_{3175-our professor} affinity , nor quite deny that , on the whole , [he]_{3175-our professor} was better with [them]_6680-them than with [his]_{3175-our professor} own sex . "_[3178-we] [We]_3178-we all wish [Monsieur]_{3179-monsieur} a good day , and present to [him]_{3179-monsieur} [our]_3178-we congratulations on the anniversary of [his]_{3179-monsieur} fete , " said [Mademoiselle Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} , constituting [[herself]_{261-mademoiselle} spokeswoman of [the assembly]_{6682-the assembly}]_{6681-herself spokeswoman of the assembly} ; and advancing with no more twists of affectation than were with [her]_{261-mademoiselle} indispensable to the achievement of motion , [she]_{261-mademoiselle} laid [her]_{261-mademoiselle} costly bouquet before [him]_{3179-monsieur} . [He]_{3179-monsieur} bowed over it . The long train of offerings followed : [all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise]_{6683-all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise} , left [their]_{6683-all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise} tributes as [they]_{6683-all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise} went by . [Each girl]_{5271-each girl} so dexterously adjusted [her]_{5271-each girl} separate gift , that when the last bouquet was laid on the desk , it formed the apex to a blooming pyramid - a pyramid blooming , spreading , and towering with such exuberance as , in the end , to eclipse [the hero behind it]_{6685-the hero behind it} . This ceremony over , seats were resumed , and [we]_3178-we sat in dead silence , expectant of a speech . [I]_3178-we suppose five minutes might have elapsed , and the hush remained unbroken ; ten - and there was no sound . [Many present]_{6686-many present} began , doubtless , to wonder for what [Monsieur]_{6687-monsieur} waited ; as well [they]_{6686-many present} might . Voiceless and viewless , stirless and wordless , [he]_{3179-monsieur} kept [his]_{3179-monsieur} station behind the pile of flowers . At last there issued forth a voice , rather deep , as if it spoke out of a hollow : - "_[3178-we] Est - ce la tout ? " [Mademoiselle Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} looked round . "_[3180-you] [You]_3180-you have all presented [your]_3180-you bouquets ? " inquired [[she]_{261-mademoiselle} of [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils}]_{6688-she of the pupils} . Yes ; [they]_{1102-the pupils} had all given [their]_{1102-the pupils} nosegays , from [the eldest]_{6690-the eldest} to [the youngest]_{1168-the youngest} , from the tallest to the most diminutive . [The senior mistress]_{6617-the senior mistress} signified as much . "_[3180-you] Est - ce la tout ? " was reiterated in an intonation which , deep before , had now descended some notes lower . "_{[3181-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{3181-monsieur} , " said [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , rising , and this time speaking with [her]_{261-mademoiselle} own sweet smile , "_{[3181-monsieur]} [I]_0-i have the honour to tell [you]_{3181-monsieur} that , with a single exception , [every person in classe]_{3182-every person in classe} has offered [her]_{3182-every person in classe} bouquet . For [Meess Lucie]_{187-meess lucie} , [Monsieur]_{3183-monsieur} will kindly make allowance ; as [a foreigner]_{891-a foreigner} [she]_{187-meess lucie} probably did not know [our]_3185-our customs , or did not appreciate their significance . [Meess Lucie]_{187-meess lucie} has regarded this ceremony as too frivolous to be honoured by [her]_{187-meess lucie} observance . " "_{[187-meess lucie]} Famous ! " [I]_{3181-monsieur} muttered between [my]_{3181-monsieur} teeth : "_{[3181-monsieur]} [you]_{3181-monsieur} are [no bad speaker]_{3186-no bad speaker} , [Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} , when [you]_{3181-monsieur} begin . " The answer vouchsafed to [Mademoiselle St Pierre]_{392-mademoiselle st pierre} from the estrade was given in the gesticulation of a hand from behind the pyramid . This manual action seemed to deprecate words , to enjoin silence . A form , ere long , followed the hand . [Monsieur]_{6693-monsieur} emerged from [his]_{6693-monsieur} eclipse ; and producing [himself]_{6693-monsieur} on the front of [his]_{6693-monsieur} estrade , and gazing straight and fixedly before [him]_{6693-monsieur} at a vast "_{[3181-monsieur]} mappe - monde " covering the wall opposite , [he]_{6693-monsieur} demanded a third time , and now in really tragic tones - "_{[3181-monsieur]} Est - ce la tout ? " [I]_{3181-monsieur} might yet have made all right , by stepping forwards and slipping into [his]_{6693-monsieur} hand the ruddy little shell - box [I]_{3181-monsieur} at that moment held tight in [my]_{3181-monsieur} own . It was what [I]_{3181-monsieur} had fully purposed to do ; but , first , the comic side of [Monsieur]_{6694-monsieur} 's behaviour had tempted [me]_{3181-monsieur} to delay , and now , [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} 's affected interference provoked contumacity . [The reader]_{759-the reader} not having hitherto had any cause to ascribe to [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy 's character the most distant pretensions to perfection , will be scarcely surprised to learn that [she]_142-lucy felt too perverse to defend [herself]_142-lucy from any imputation [the Parisienne]_{6502-the parisienne} might choose to insinuate and besides , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was so tragic , and took [my]_{3181-monsieur} defection so seriously , [he]_{196-m. paul} deserved to be vexed . [I]_{3181-monsieur} kept , then , both [my]_{3181-monsieur} box and [my]_{3181-monsieur} countenance , and sat insensate as any stone . "_{[3181-monsieur]} It is well ! " dropped at length from the lips of [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; and having uttered this phrase , the shadow of some great paroxysm - the swell of wrath , scorn , resolve - passed over [his]_{196-m. paul} brow , rippled [his]_{196-m. paul} lips , and lined [his]_{196-m. paul} cheeks . Gulping down all further comment , [he]_{196-m. paul} launched into [his]_{196-m. paul} customary "_{[3181-monsieur]} discours . " [I]_{3181-monsieur} ca n't at all remember what this "_{[3181-monsieur]} discours " was ; [I]_{3181-monsieur} did not listen to it : the gulping - down process , the abrupt dismissal of [his]_{196-m. paul} mortification or vexation , had given [me]_{3181-monsieur} a sensation which half- counteracted the ludicrous effect of the reiterated "_{[3181-monsieur]} Est - ce la tout ? " Towards the close of the speech there came a pleasing diversion [my]_{3181-monsieur} attention was again amusingly arrested . Owing to some little accidental movement - [I]_{3181-monsieur} think [I]_{3181-monsieur} dropped [my]_{3181-monsieur} thimble on the floor , and in stooping to regain it , hit the crown of [my]_{3181-monsieur} head against the sharp corner of [my]_{3181-monsieur} desk ; which casualties exasperating to [me]_{3181-monsieur} , by rights , if to [anybody]_4239-anybody naturally made a slight bustle - [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} became irritated , and dismissing [his]_{196-m. paul} forced equanimity , and casting to the winds that dignity and self - control with which [he]_{196-m. paul} never cared long to encumber [himself]_{196-m. paul} , [he]_{196-m. paul} broke forth into the strain best calculated to give [him]_{196-m. paul} ease . [I]_{3181-monsieur} do n't know how , in the progress of [his]_{196-m. paul} "_{[3181-monsieur]} discours , " [he]_{196-m. paul} had contrived to cross [the Channel]_{4588-the channel} and land on [British ground]_{6699-british ground} ; but there [I]_{3181-monsieur} found [him]_{196-m. paul} when [I]_{3181-monsieur} began to listen . Casting a quick , cynical glance round [the room]_{600-the room} - a glance which scathed , or was intended to scathe , as it crossed [me]_{3181-monsieur} - [he]_{196-m. paul} fell with fury upon "_{[3181-monsieur]} les Anglaises . " Never have [I]_{3187-little wicked venomous man} heard [English women]_{6701-english women} handled as [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} that morning handled [them]_{6701-english women} : [he]_{196-m. paul} spared nothing - neither [their]_{6701-english women} minds , morals , manners , nor personal appearance . [I]_{3187-little wicked venomous man} specially remember [his]_{196-m. paul} abuse of [their]_{6701-english women} tall stature , [their]_{6701-english women} long necks , [their]_{6701-english women} thin arms , [their]_{6701-english women} slovenly dress , [their]_{6701-english women} pedantic education , [their]_{6701-english women} impious scepticism ! , [their]_{6701-english women} insufferable pride , [their]_{6701-english women} pretentious virtue : over which [he]_{196-m. paul} ground [his]_{196-m. paul} teeth malignantly , and looked as if , had [he]_{196-m. paul} dared , [he]_{196-m. paul} would have said singular things . Oh ! [he]_{196-m. paul} was spiteful , acrid , savage ; and , as a natural consequence , detestably ugly . "_{[3187-little wicked venomous man]} [Little wicked venomous man]_{3187-little wicked venomous man} ! " thought [I]_{3181-monsieur} ; "_{[3181-monsieur]} am [I]_0-i going to harass [myself]_0-i with fears of displeasing [you]_3188-i , or hurting [your]_3188-i feelings ? No , indeed ; [you]_3188-i shall be indifferent to [me]_0-i , as the shabbiest bouquet in [your]_3188-i pyramid " [I]_3188-i grieve to say [I]_3188-i could not quite carry out this resolution . For some time the abuse of [England]_19-england and [the English]_{393-the english} found and left [me]_3188-i stolid : [I]_3188-i bore it some fifteen minutes stoically enough ; but this hissing cockatrice was determined to sting , and [he]_{196-m. paul} said such things at last - fastening not only upon [[our]_6702-our women]_{6703-our women} , but upon [our]_6702-our greatest names and [best men]_{6704-best men} ; sullying , the shield of [Britannia]_{394-britannia} , and dabbling [the union jack]_{6705-the union jack} in mud - that [I]_3188-i was stung . With vicious relish [he]_{196-m. paul} brought up the most spicy current continental historical falsehoods - than which nothing can be conceived more offensive . [Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} , and [the whole class]_{6706-the whole class} , became one grin of vindictive delight ; for it is curious to discover how [these clowns of Labassecour]_{6707-these clowns of labassecour} secretly hate [England]_19-england . At last , [I]_3188-i struck a sharp stroke on [my]_3188-i desk , opened [my]_3188-i lips , and let loose this cry : - "_[3188-i] Vive l'Angleterre , l'Histoire et [les Heros]_{3189-les heros} ! A bas la [France]_15-france , la Fiction et les Faquins ! " [The class]_{6655-the class} was struck of a heap . [I]_{6655-the class} suppose [they]_{6655-the class} thought [me]_{6655-the class} mad . [The Professor]_{2055-the professor} put up [his]_{2055-the professor} handkerchief , and fiendishly smiled into its folds . [Little monster of malice]_{6710-little monster of malice} ! [He]_{196-m. paul} now thought [he]_{196-m. paul} had got the victory , since [he]_{196-m. paul} had made [me]_{6655-the class} angry . In a second [he]_{196-m. paul} became good- humoured . With great blandness [he]_{196-m. paul} resumed the subject of [his]_{196-m. paul} flowers ; talked poetically and symbolically of their sweetness , perfume , purity , etcetera ; made Frenchified comparisons between the "_{[6655-the class]} jeunes filles " and the sweet blossoms before [him]_{196-m. paul} ; paid [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} a very full - blown compliment on the superiority of [her]_{261-mademoiselle} bouquet ; and ended by announcing that the first really fine , mild , and balmy morning in spring , [he]_{196-m. paul} intended to take [the whole class]_{6706-the whole class} out to breakfast in [the country]_{571-the country} . "_{[3190-such of the class]} [Such of [the class]_{6655-the class}]_{3190-such of the class} , at least , " [he]_{196-m. paul} added , with emphasis , "_{[6655-the class]} as [he]_3192-i could count amongst the number of [[his]_3192-i friends]_{706-his friends} . " "_[3192-i] Donc je n'y serai pas , " declared [I]_3192-i , involuntarily . "_[3192-i] Soit ! " was [his]_{196-m. paul} response ; and , gathering [his]_{196-m. paul} flowers in [his]_{196-m. paul} arms , [he]_{196-m. paul} flashed out of classe ; while [I]_3192-i , consigning [my]_3192-i work , scissors , thimble , and the neglected little box , to [my]_3192-i desk , swept up - [stairs]_593-stairs . [I]_3192-i do n't know whether [he]_{196-m. paul} felt hot and angry , but [I]_3192-i am free to confess that [I]_3192-i did . Yet with a strange evanescent anger , [I]_3192-i had not sat an hour on the edge of [my]_3192-i bed , picturing and repicturing [his]_{196-m. paul} look , manner , words ere [I]_3192-i smiled at the whole scene . A little pang of regret [I]_3192-i underwent that the box had not been offered . [I]_3192-i had meant to gratify [him]_{196-m. paul} . [Fate]_159-fate would not have it so . In the course of the afternoon , remembering that desks in classe were by no means inviolate repositories , and thinking that it was as well to secure the box , on account of the initials in the lid , P. C. D. E. , for [Paul Carl]_{395-paul carl} or [Carlos David Emanuel]_351-david - such was [his]_{196-m. paul} full name - [these foreigners]_{2273-these foreigners} must always have a string of baptismals - [I]_3192-i descended to [the schoolroom]_{5162-the schoolroom} . [It]_{5162-the schoolroom} slept in holiday repose . The day [pupils]_4924-pupils were all gone [home]_542-home , [the boarders]_{1097-the boarders} were out walking , [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers} , except [the surveillante of the week]_{6720-the surveillante of the week} , were in [town]_4930-town , visiting or shopping ; [the suite of divisions]_{6722-the suite of divisions} was vacant ; so was [the grande salle]_{6723-the grande salle} , with [its]_{6723-the grande salle} huge solemn globe hanging in the midst , [its]_{6723-the grande salle} pair of many - branched chandeliers , and [its]_{6723-the grande salle} horizontal grand piano closed , silent , enjoying its mid - week Sabbath . [I]_3192-i rather wondered to find the first classe door ajar ; [this room]_{740-this room} being usually locked when empty , and being then inaccessible to any save [Madame Beck]_190-madame and [myself]_3192-i , who possessed a duplicate key . [I]_3192-i wondered still more , on approaching , to hear a vague movement as of life - a step , a chair stirred , a sound like the opening of a desk . "_[3192-i] It is only [Madame Beck]_190-madame doing inspection duty , " was the conclusion following a moment 's reflection . The partially - opened door gave opportunity for assurance on this point . [I]_190-madame looked . Behold ! not the inspecting garb of [Madame Beck]_190-madame - the shawl and the clean cap - but the coat , and the close - shorn , dark head of [a man]_{823-a man} . [This person]_{784-this person} occupied [my]_190-madame chair ; [his]_{784-this person} olive hand held [my]_190-madame desk open , [his]_{784-this person} nose was lost to view amongst [my]_190-madame papers . [His]_{784-this person} back was towards [me]_190-madame , but there could not be a moment 's question about identity . Already was the attire of ceremony discarded : the cherished and ink - stained paletot was resumed ; [the perverse bonnet - grec]_{6727-the perverse bonnet - grec} lay on the floor , as if just dropped from the hand , culpably busy . Now [I]_190-madame knew , and [I]_190-madame had long known , that that hand of [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's was on the most intimate terms with [my]_190-madame desk ; that it raised and lowered the lid , ransacked and arranged the contents , almost as familiarly as [my]_190-madame own . The fact was not dubious , nor did [he]_{784-this person} wish it to be so : [he]_{784-this person} left signs of each visit palpable and unmistakable ; hitherto , however , [I]_190-madame had never caught [him]_{784-this person} in the act : watch as [I]_190-madame would , [I]_190-madame could not detect the hours and moments of [his]_{784-this person} coming . [I]_190-madame saw [the brownie]_{6728-the brownie} 's work in exercises left overnight full of faults , and found next morning carefully corrected : [I]_190-madame profited by [his]_{784-this person} capricious good - will in loans full welcome and refreshing . Between a sallow dictionary and worn - out grammar would magically grow a fresh interesting new work , or a classic , mellow and sweet in its ripe age . Out of [my]_190-madame work - basket would laughingly peep a romance , under it would lurk the pamphlet , the magazine , whence last evening 's reading had been extracted . Impossible to doubt the source whence these treasures flowed : had there been no other indication , one condemning and traitor peculiarity , common to [them]_6729-them all , settled the question - [they]_6729-them smelt of cigars . This was very shocking , of course : [I]_190-madame thought so at first , and used to open the window with some bustle , to air [my]_190-madame desk , and with fastidious finger and thumb , to hold the peccant brochures forth to the purifying breeze . [I]_190-madame was cured of that formality suddenly . [Monsieur]_{6730-monsieur} caught [me]_190-madame at it one day , understood the inference , instantly relieved [my]_190-madame hand of its burden , and , in another moment , would have thrust the same into the glowing stove . It chanced to be a book , on the perusal of which [I]_190-madame was bent ; so for once [I]_190-madame proved as decided and quicker than [himself]_{784-this person} ; recaptured the spoil , and - having saved this volume - never hazarded a second . With all this , [I]_190-madame had never yet been able to arrest in [his]_{784-this person} visits [the freakish , friendly , cigar - loving phantom]_{6731-the freakish , friendly , cigar - loving phantom} . But now at last [I]_190-madame had [him]_{784-this person} : there [he]_{784-this person} was - [the very brownie]_{6732-the very brownie} [himself]_{784-this person} ; and there , curling from [his]_{784-this person} lips , was the pale blue breath of [[his]_{784-this person} Indian darling]_{6733-his indian darling} : [he]_{784-this person} was smoking into [my]_190-madame desk : it might well betray [him]_{784-this person} . Provoked at this particular , and yet pleased to surprise [him]_{784-this person} - pleased , that is , with the mixed feeling of [the housewife who discovers at last [her]_{6734-the housewife who discovers at last her strange elfin} strange elfin]_{6734-the housewife who discovers at last her strange elfin} ally busy in the dairy at the untimely churn - [I]_190-madame softly stole forward , stood behind [him]_{784-this person} , bent with precaution over [his]_{784-this person} shoulder . [My]_190-madame heart smote [me]_190-madame to see that - after this morning 's hostility , after [my]_190-madame seeming remissness , after the puncture experienced by [his]_{784-this person} feelings , and the ruffling undergone by [his]_{784-this person} temper - [he]_{784-this person} , all willing to forget and forgive , had brought [me]_190-madame a couple of handsome volumes , of which the title and authorship were guarantees for interest . Now , as [he]_{784-this person} sat bending above the desk , [he]_{784-this person} was stirring up its contents ; but with gentle and careful hand ; disarranging indeed , but not harming . [My]_190-madame heart smote [me]_190-madame : as [I]_190-madame bent over [him]_{784-this person} , as [he]_{784-this person} sat unconscious , doing [me]_190-madame what good [he]_{784-this person} could , and [I]_190-madame daresay not feeling towards [me]_190-madame unkindly , [my]_190-madame morning 's anger quite melted : [I]_190-madame did not dislike [Professor Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} . [I]_190-madame think [he]_{784-this person} heard [me]_190-madame breathe . [He]_{784-this person} turned suddenly : [his]_{784-this person} temperament was nervous , yet [he]_{784-this person} never started , and seldom changed colour : there was something hardy about [him]_{784-this person} . "_[190-madame] [I]_0-i thought [you]_3194-you were gone into [town]_4930-town with [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} , " said [he]_{784-this person} , taking a grim gripe of [his]_{784-this person} self - possession , which half - escaped [him]_{784-this person} - "_[0-i] It is as well [you]_3194-you are not . Do [you]_3194-you think [I]_0-i care for being caught ? Not I. [I]_0-i often visit [your]_3194-you desk . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [I]_0-i know it . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [You]_{1465-monsieur} find a brochure or tome now and then ; but [you]_{1465-monsieur} do n't read them , because they have passed under this ? " - touching [his]_{1465-monsieur} cigar . "_[3198-they] [They]_3198-they have , and are no better for the process ; but [I]_0-i read them . " "_[0-i] Without pleasure ? " "_{[3199-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{3199-monsieur} must not be contradicted . " "_{[3199-monsieur]} Do [you]_{1465-monsieur} like them , or any of them ? - are they acceptable ? " "_{[3200-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{3200-monsieur} has seen [me]_0-i reading them a hundred times , and knows [I]_0-i have not so many recreations as to undervalue those [he]_{3200-monsieur} provides . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i mean well ; and , if [you]_{1465-monsieur} see that [I]_0-i mean well , and derive some little amusement from [my]_0-i efforts , why can [we]_3201-we not be [friends]_533-friends ? " "_{[4653-a fatalist]} [A fatalist]_{4653-a fatalist} would say - because [we]_3201-we can not . " "_{[4653-a fatalist]} This morning , " [he]_0-i continued , "_{[4653-a fatalist]} [I]_0-i awoke in a bright mood , and came into classe happy ; [you]_{1465-monsieur} spoiled [my]_0-i day . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} No , [Monsieur]_{3204-monsieur} , only an hour or two of it , and that unintentionally . " "_{[3204-monsieur]} Unintentionally ! No . It was [my]_0-i fete - day ; [everybody]_{4957-everybody} wished [me]_0-i happiness but [you]_{1465-monsieur} . [The little children of the third division]_{3206-the little children of the third division} gave [each]_3207-each [her]_3207-each knot of violets , lisped each [her]_3207-each congratulation : - [you]_{1465-monsieur} - nothing . Not a bud , leaf , whisper - not a glance . Was this unintentional ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i meant no harm . " "_[0-i] Then [you]_{1465-monsieur} really did not know [our]_3201-we custom ? [You]_{1465-monsieur} were unprepared ? [You]_{1465-monsieur} would willingly have laid out a few centimes on a flower to give [me]_0-i pleasure , had [you]_{1465-monsieur} been aware that it was expected ? Say so , and all is forgotten , and the pain soothed . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did know that it was expected : [I]_0-i was prepared ; yet [I]_0-i laid out no centimes on flowers . " "_[0-i] It is well - [you]_{1465-monsieur} do right to be honest . [I]_0-i should almost have hated [you]_{1465-monsieur} had [you]_{1465-monsieur} flattered and lied . Better declare at once ' [Paul Carl Emanuel]_{395-paul carl} - je te deteste , mon garcon ! ' - than smile an interest , look an affection , and be false and cold at heart . False and cold [I]_0-i do n't think [you]_{1465-monsieur} are ; but [you]_{1465-monsieur} have made a great mistake in life , that [I]_0-i believe ; [I]_0-i think [your]_{1465-monsieur} judgment is warped - that [you]_{1465-monsieur} are indifferent where [you]_{1465-monsieur} ought to be grateful - and perhaps devoted and infatuated , where [you]_{1465-monsieur} ought to be cool as [your]_{1465-monsieur} name . Do n't suppose that [I]_0-i wish [you]_{1465-monsieur} to have a passion for [me]_0-i , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} ; [Dieu vous en garde]_{3208-dieu vous en garde} ! What do [you]_{1465-monsieur} start for ? Because [I]_0-i said passion ? Well , [I]_0-i say it again . There is such a word , and there is such a thing - though not within these walls , thank heaven ! [You]_{1465-monsieur} are [no child]_{3209-no child} that [one]_607-one should not speak of what exists ; but [I]_0-i only uttered the word - the thing , [I]_0-i assure [you]_{1465-monsieur} , is alien to [my]_0-i whole life and views . [It]_3211-it died in the past - in the present it lies buried - [its]_3211-it grave is deep - dug , well - heaped , and many winters old : in the future there will be a resurrection , as [I]_0-i believe to [my]_0-i souls consolation ; but all will then be changed - form and feeling : [the mortal]_{3212-the mortal} will have put on immortality - it will rise , not for earth , but heaven . All [I]_0-i say to [you]_{1465-monsieur} , [Miss Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy , is - that [you]_{1465-monsieur} ought to treat [Professor Paul Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} decently . " [I]_0-i could not , and did not contradict such a sentiment . "_[0-i] Tell [me]_0-i , " [he]_0-i pursued , "_[0-i] when it is [your]_{1465-monsieur} fete - day , and [I]_0-i will not grudge a few centimes for a small offering . " "_[0-i] [You]_{1465-monsieur} will be like [me]_0-i , [Monsieur]_{3213-monsieur} : this cost more than a few centimes , and [I]_0-i did not grudge its price . " And taking from the open desk the little box , [I]_0-i put it into [his]_0-i hand . "_[0-i] It lay ready in [my]_0-i lap this morning , " [I]_0-i continued ; "_[0-i] and if [Monsieur]_{3214-monsieur} had been rather more patient , and [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} less interfering - perhaps [I]_0-i should say , too , if [I]_0-i had been calmer and wiser - [I]_0-i should have given it then . " [He]_0-i looked at the box : [I]_0-i saw its clear warm tint and bright azure circlet , pleased [his]_0-i eyes . [I]_0-i told [him]_0-i to open it . "_[0-i] [My]_0-i initials ! " said [he]_0-i , indicating the letters in the lid . "_[0-i] Who told [you]_{1465-monsieur} [I]_0-i was called [Carl David]_{395-paul carl} ? " "_{[395-paul carl]} A little bird , [Monsieur]_{3215-monsieur} . " "_{[3215-monsieur]} Does it fly from [me]_0-i to [you]_{3215-monsieur} ? Then [one]_607-one can tie a message under its wing when needful . " , [He]_0-i took out the chain - a trifle indeed as to value , but glossy with silk and sparkling with beads . [He]_0-i liked that too - admired it artlessly , like [a child]_{4415-a child} . "_{[3215-monsieur]} For [me]_0-i ? " "_{[3215-monsieur]} Yes , for [you]_{3215-monsieur} . " "_{[3215-monsieur]} This is the thing [you]_0-i were working at last night ? " "_[0-i] The same . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i finished it this morning ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i commenced it with the intention that it should be [mine]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] Undoubtedly . " "_[0-i] And offered on [my]_0-i fete - day ? " "_[0-i] Yes . " "_[0-i] This purpose continued as [you]_0-i wove it ? " Again [I]_0-i assented . "_[0-i] Then it is not necessary that [I]_0-i should cut out any portion - saying , this part is not mine : it was plaited under the idea and for the adornment of another ? " "_[0-i] By no means . It is neither necessary , nor would it be just . " "_[0-i] This object is all mine ? " "_[0-i] That object is [yours]_3217-yours entirely . " [Straightway Monsieur]_{396-straightway monsieur} opened [his]_0-i paletot , arranged the guard splendidly across [his]_0-i chest , displaying as much and suppressing as little as [he]_0-i could : for [he]_0-i had no notion of concealing what [he]_0-i admired and thought decorative . As to the box , [he]_0-i pronounced it a superb bonbonniere - [he]_0-i was fond of [bonbons]_6736-bonbons , by the way - and as [he]_0-i always liked to share with [others]_770-others what pleased [himself]_0-i , [he]_0-i would give [his]_0-i "_[0-i] dragees " as freely as [he]_0-i lent [his]_0-i books . Amongst [the kind brownie]_{6738-the kind brownie} 's gifts left in [my]_0-i desk , [I]_0-i forgot to enumerate many a paper of chocolate comfits . [His]_0-i tastes in these matters were southern , and what [we]_6739-we think infantine . [His]_0-i simple lunch consisted frequently of a "_[0-i] brioche , " which , as often as not , to shared with [some child of the third division]_{6740-some child of the third division} . "_[0-i] A present c'est un fait accompli , " said [he]_0-i , re - adjusting [his]_0-i paletot ; and [we]_6739-we had no more words on the subject . After looking over the two volumes [he]_0-i had brought , and cutting away some pages with [his]_0-i penknife [he]_0-i generally pruned before lending [his]_0-i books , especially if they were novels , and sometimes [I]_3218-i was a little provoked at the severity of [his]_0-i censorship , the retrenchments interrupting the narrative , [he]_0-i rose , politely touched [his]_0-i bonnet - grec , and bade [me]_3218-i a civil good - day . "_[3218-i] [We]_3218-i are [friends]_533-friends now , " thought [I]_533-friends , "_{[533-friends]} till the next time [we]_3218-i quarrel . " [We]_3218-i might have quarrelled again that very same evening , but , wonderful to relate , failed , for once , to make the most of [our]_3218-i opportunity . Contrary to all expectation , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} arrived at the study - hour . Having seen so much of [him]_0-i in the morning , [we]_6739-we did not look for [his]_0-i presence at night . No sooner were [we]_6739-we seated at lessons , however , than [he]_0-i appeared . [I]_533-friends own [I]_533-friends was glad to see [him]_0-i , so glad that [I]_533-friends could not help greeting [his]_0-i arrival with a smile ; and when [he]_0-i made [his]_0-i way to the same seat about which so serious a misunderstanding had formerly arisen , [I]_533-friends took good care not to make too much room for [him]_0-i ; [he]_0-i watched with a jealous , side - long look , to see whether [I]_533-friends shrank away , but [I]_533-friends did not , though the bench was a little crowded . [I]_533-friends was losing the early impulse to recoil from [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . Habituated to the paletot and bonnet- grec , the neighbourhood of these garments seemed no longer uncomfortable or very formidable . [I]_533-friends did not now sit restrained , "_{[533-friends]} asphyxiee " as [he]_0-i used to say at [his]_0-i side ; [I]_3218-i stirred when [I]_3218-i wished to stir , coughed when it was necessary , even yawned when [I]_3218-i was tired - did , in short , what [I]_3218-i pleased , blindly reliant upon [his]_0-i indulgence . Nor did [my]_3218-i temerity , this evening at least , meet the punishment it perhaps merited ; [he]_0-i was both indulgent and good - natured ; not a cross glance shot from [his]_0-i eyes , not a hasty word left [his]_0-i lips . Till the very close of the evening , [he]_0-i did not indeed address [me]_3218-i at all , yet [I]_3218-i felt , somehow , that [he]_0-i was full of friendliness . Silence is of different kinds , and breathes different meanings ; no words could inspire a pleasanter content than did [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's worldless presence . When the tray came in , and the bustle of supper commenced , [he]_0-i just said , as [he]_0-i retired , that [he]_0-i wished [me]_3218-i a good night and sweet dreams ; and a good night and sweet dreams [I]_3218-i had . CHAPTER XXX . [M. PAUL]_{196-m. paul} . Yet [the reader]_{759-the reader} is advised not to be in any hurry with [his]_0-i kindly conclusions , or to suppose , with an over - hasty charity , that from that day [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} became a changed character - easy to live with , and no longer apt to flash danger and discomfort round [him]_0-i . No ; [he]_0-i was naturally [a little man of unreasonable moods]_{6742-a little man of unreasonable moods} . When over- wrought , which [he]_0-i often was , [he]_0-i became acutely irritable ; and , besides , [his]_0-i veins were dark with a livid belladonna tincture , the essence of jealousy . [I]_3218-i do not mean merely the tender jealousy of the heart , but that sterner , narrower sentiment whose seat is in the head . [I]_3218-i used to think , as [I]_3218-i Sat looking at [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , while [he]_0-i was knitting [his]_0-i brow or protruding [his]_0-i lip over some exercise of [mine]_3218-i , which had not as many faults as [he]_0-i wished for [he]_0-i liked [me]_3218-i to commit faults : a knot of blunders was sweet to [him]_0-i as a cluster of nuts , that [he]_0-i had points of resemblance to [Napoleon Bonaparte]_{397-napoleon bonaparte} . [I]_3218-i think so still . In a shameless disregard of magnanimity , [he]_0-i resembled [the great Emperor]_{6743-the great emperor} . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} would have quarrelled with [twenty learned women]_{6744-twenty learned women} , would have unblushingly carried on a system of petty bickering and recrimination with [a whole capital of [coteries]_{6746-coteries}]_{6745-a whole capital of coteries} , never troubling [himself]_0-i about loss or lack of dignity . [He]_0-i would have exiled fifty [Madame de Staels]_{398-madame de staels} , if , [they]_{6744-twenty learned women} had annoyed , offended , outrivalled , or opposed [him]_0-i . [I]_3218-i well remember a hot episode of [his]_0-i with [a certain [Madame Panache]_{399-madame panache}]_{6747-a certain madame panache} - [a lady temporarily employed by [Madame Beck]_190-madame]_{6748-a lady temporarily employed by madame beck} to give lessons in history . [She]_{399-madame panache} was clever - that is , [she]_{399-madame panache} knew a good deal ; and , besides , thoroughly possessed the art of making the most of what [she]_{399-madame panache} knew ; of words and confidence [she]_{399-madame panache} held unlimited command . [Her]_{399-madame panache} personal appearance was far from destitute of advantages ; [I]_3218-i believe [many people]_{844-many people} would have pronounced [her]_{399-madame panache} "_[3218-i] [a fine woman]_{3220-a fine woman} ; " and yet there were points in [her]_{399-madame panache} robust and ample attractions , as well as in [her]_{399-madame panache} bustling and demonstrative presence , which , it appeared , the nice and capricious tastes of [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} could not away with . The sound of [her]_{399-madame panache} voice , echoing through [the carre]_{4820-the carre} , would put [him]_0-i into a strange taking ; [her]_{399-madame panache} long free step - almost stride - along [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} , would often make [him]_0-i snatch up [his]_0-i papers and decamp on the instant . With malicious intent [he]_0-i bethought [himself]_0-i , one day , to intrude on [her]_{399-madame panache} class ; as quick as lightning [he]_0-i gathered [her]_{399-madame panache} method of instruction ; it differed from a pet plan of [his]_0-i own . With little ceremony , and less courtesy , [he]_0-i pointed out what [he]_0-i termed [her]_{399-madame panache} errors . Whether [he]_0-i expected submission and attention , [I]_3218-i know not ; [he]_0-i met an acrid opposition , accompanied by a round reprimand for [his]_0-i certainly unjustifiable interference . Instead of withdrawing with dignity , as [he]_0-i might still have done , [he]_0-i threw down the gauntlet of defiance . [Madame Panache]_{399-madame panache} , bellicose as a Penthesilea , picked it up in a minute . [She]_{399-madame panache} snapped [her]_{399-madame panache} fingers in [the intermeddler]_{6752-the intermeddler} 's face ; [she]_{399-madame panache} rushed upon [him]_0-i with a storm of words . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} was eloquent ; but [Madame Panache]_{399-madame panache} was voluble . A system of fierce antagonism ensued . Instead of laughing in [his]_0-i sleeve at [[his]_0-i fair foe]_{6753-his fair foe} , with all [her]_{399-madame panache} sore amour - propre and loud self - assertion , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} detested [her]_{399-madame panache} with intense seriousness ; [he]_0-i honoured [her]_{399-madame panache} with [his]_0-i earnest fury ; [he]_0-i pursued [her]_{399-madame panache} vindictively and implacably , refusing to rest peaceably in [his]_0-i bed , to derive due benefit from [his]_0-i meals , or even serenely to relish [his]_0-i cigar , till [she]_{399-madame panache} was fairly rooted out of the establishment . [The Professor]_{2055-the professor} conquered , but [I]_3218-i can not say that the laurels of this victory shadowed gracefully [his]_0-i temples . Once [I]_3218-i ventured to hint as much . To [my]_3218-i great surprise [he]_0-i allowed that [I]_3218-i might be right , but averred that when brought into contact with either [men]_4397-men or [women of the coarse , self - complacent quality]_{6756-women of the coarse , self - complacent quality} , whereof [Madame Panache]_{399-madame panache} was [a specimen]_{6757-a specimen} , [he]_0-i had no control over [his]_0-i own passions ; an unspeakable and active aversion impelled [him]_0-i to a war of extermination . Three months afterwards , hearing that [[his]_0-i vanquished foe]_{6758-his vanquished foe} had met with reverses , and was likely to be really distressed for want of employment , [he]_0-i forgot [his]_0-i hatred , and alike active in good and evil , [he]_0-i moved [heaven]_1614-heaven and [earth]_4454-earth till [he]_0-i found [her]_{6758-his vanquished foe} a place . Upon [her]_{6758-his vanquished foe} coming to make up former differences , and thank [him]_0-i for [his]_0-i recent kindness , the old voice - a little loud - the old manner - a little forward - so acted upon [him]_0-i that in ten minutes [he]_0-i started up and bowed [her]_{6758-his vanquished foe} , or rather [himself]_0-i , out of [the room]_{600-the room} , in a transport of nervous irritation . To pursue a somewhat audacious parallel , in a love of power , in an eager grasp after supremacy , [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} was like [Bonaparte]_{397-napoleon bonaparte} . [He]_0-i was [a man not always to be submitted to]_{6762-a man not always to be submitted to} . Sometimes it was needful to resist ; it was right to stand still , to look up into [his]_0-i eyes and tell [him]_0-i that [his]_0-i requirements went beyond reason - that [his]_0-i absolutism verged on tyranny . The dawnings , the first developments of peculiar talent appearing within [his]_0-i range , and under [his]_0-i rule , curiously excited , even disturbed [him]_0-i . [He]_0-i watched its struggle into life with a scowl ; [he]_0-i held back [his]_0-i hand - perhaps said , "_[3218-i] Come on if [you]_3221-you have strength , " but would not aid the birth . When the pang and peril of the first conflict were over , when the breath of life was drawn , when [he]_0-i saw the lungs expand and contract , when [he]_0-i felt the heart beat and discovered life in the eye , [he]_0-i did not yet offer to foster . "_[3221-you] Prove [yourself]_3221-you true ere [I]_0-i cherish [you]_3221-you , " was [his]_0-i ordinance ; and how difficult [he]_0-i made that proof ! What thorns and briers , what flints , [he]_0-i strewed in the path of feet not inured to rough travel ! [He]_0-i watched tearlessly - ordeals that [he]_0-i exacted should be passed through - fearlessly . [He]_0-i followed footprints that , as they approached the bourne , were sometimes marked in blood - followed [them]_6763-them grimly , holding [the austerest police - watch over the pain - pressed pilgrim]_{6764-the austerest police - watch over the pain - pressed pilgrim} . And when at last [he]_0-i allowed a rest , before slumber might close the eyelids , [he]_0-i opened those same lids wide , with pitiless finger and thumb , and gazed deep through the pupil and the irids into the brain , into the heart , to search if Vanity , or Pride , or Falsehood , in any of its subtlest forms , was discoverable in the furthest recess of existence . If , at last , [he]_0-i let the neophyte sleep , it was but a moment ; [he]_0-i woke [him]_0-i suddenly up to apply new tests : [he]_0-i sent [him]_0-i on irksome errands when [he]_0-i was staggering with weariness ; [he]_0-i tried the temper , the sense , and the health ; and it was only when every severest test had been applied and endured , when the most corrosive aquafortis had been used , and failed to tarnish the ore , that [he]_0-i admitted it genuine , and , still in clouded silence , stamped it with [his]_0-i deep brand of approval . [I]_0-i speak not ignorant of these evils . Till the date at which the last chapter closes , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} had not been [[my]_0-i professor]_{6765-my professor} - [he]_0-i had not given [me]_0-i lessons , but about that time , accidentally hearing [me]_0-i one day acknowledge an ignorance of some branch of education [I]_0-i think it was arithmetic , which would have disgraced [a charity - school boy]_{6766-a charity - school boy} , as [he]_0-i very truly remarked , [he]_0-i took [me]_0-i in hand , examined [me]_0-i first , found [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i need not say , abundantly deficient , gave [me]_0-i some books and appointed [me]_0-i some tasks . [He]_0-i did this at first with pleasure , indeed with unconcealed exultation , condescending to say that [he]_0-i believed [I]_0-i was "_[0-i] bonne et pas trop faible " [i.e.]_0-i well enough disposed , and not wholly destitute of parts , but , owing [he]_0-i supposed to adverse circumstances , "_[0-i] as yet in a state of wretchedly imperfect mental development . " The beginning of all effort has indeed with [me]_0-i been marked by a preternatural imbecility . [I]_0-i never could , even in forming a common acquaintance , assert or prove a claim to average quickness . A depressing and difficult passage has prefaced every new page [I]_0-i have turned in life . So long as this passage lasted , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was very kind , very good , very forbearing ; [he]_0-i saw the sharp pain inflicted , and felt the weighty humiliation imposed by [my]_0-i own sense of incapacity ; and words can hardly do justice to [his]_0-i tenderness and helpfulness . [His]_0-i own eyes would moisten , when tears of shame and effort clouded [mine]_0-i ; burdened as [he]_0-i was with work , [he]_0-i would steal half [his]_0-i brief space of recreation to give to [me]_0-i . But , strange grief ! when that heavy and overcast dawn began at last to yield to day ; when [my]_0-i faculties began to struggle themselves , free , and [my]_0-i time of energy and fulfilment came ; when [I]_0-i voluntarily doubled , trebled , quadrupled the tasks [he]_0-i set , to please [him]_0-i as [I]_0-i thought , [his]_0-i kindness became sternness ; the light changed in [his]_0-i eyes from a beam to a spark ; [he]_0-i fretted , [he]_0-i opposed , [he]_0-i curbed [me]_0-i imperiously ; the more [I]_0-i did , the harder [I]_0-i worked , the less [he]_0-i seemed content . Sarcasms of which the severity amazed and puzzled [me]_0-i , harassed [my]_0-i ears ; then flowed out the bitterest inuendoes against the "_[0-i] pride of intellect . " [I]_0-i was vaguely threatened with [I]_0-i know not what doom , if [I]_0-i ever trespassed the limits proper to [my]_0-i sex , and conceived a contraband appetite for unfeminine knowledge . Alas ! [I]_0-i had no such appetite . What [I]_0-i loved , it joyed [me]_0-i by any effort to content ; but the noble hunger for science in the abstract - the godlike thirst after discovery - these feelings were known to [me]_0-i but by briefest flashes . Yet , when [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} sneered at [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i wanted to possess them more fully ; [his]_0-i injustice stirred in [me]_0-i ambitious wishes - it imparted a strong stimulus - it gave wings to aspiration . In the beginning , before [I]_0-i had penetrated to motives , that uncomprehended sneer of [his]_0-i made [my]_0-i heart ache , but by - and - by it only warmed the blood in [my]_0-i veins , and sent added action to [my]_0-i pulses . Whatever [my]_0-i powers - feminine or the contrary - [God]_164-god had given them , and [I]_0-i felt resolute to be ashamed of no faculty of [his]_0-i bestowal . The combat was very sharp for a time . [I]_0-i seemed to have lost [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's affection ; [he]_0-i treated [me]_0-i strangely . In [his]_0-i most unjust moments [he]_0-i would insinuate that [I]_0-i had deceived [him]_0-i when [I]_0-i appeared , what [he]_0-i called "_[0-i] faible " - that is incompetent ; [he]_0-i said [I]_0-i had feigned a false incapacity . Again , [he]_0-i would turn suddenly round and accuse [me]_0-i of the most far - fetched imitations and impossible plagiarisms , asserting that [I]_0-i had extracted the pith out of books [I]_0-i had not so much as heard of - and over the perusal of which [I]_0-i should infallibly have fallen down in a sleep as deep as that of [Eutychus]_400-eutychus . Once , upon [his]_0-i preferring such an accusation , [I]_0-i turned upon [him]_0-i - [I]_0-i rose against [him]_0-i . Gathering an armful of [his]_0-i books out of [my]_0-i desk , [I]_0-i filled [my]_0-i apron and poured them in a heap upon [his]_0-i estrade , at [his]_0-i feet . "_[0-i] Take them away , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , " [I]_{196-m. paul} said , "_{[196-m. paul]} and teach [me]_0-i no more . [I]_0-i never asked to be made learned , and [you]_{196-m. paul} compel [me]_0-i to feel very profoundly that learning is not happiness . " And returning to [my]_{196-m. paul} desk , [I]_{196-m. paul} laid [my]_{196-m. paul} head on [my]_{196-m. paul} arms , nor would [I]_{196-m. paul} speak to [him]_0-i for two days afterwards . [He]_0-i pained and chagrined [me]_{196-m. paul} . [His]_0-i affection had been very sweet and dear - a pleasure new and incomparable : now that this seemed withdrawn , [I]_{196-m. paul} cared not for [his]_0-i lessons . The books , however , were not taken away ; they were all restored with careful hand to their places , and [he]_0-i came as usual to teach [me]_{196-m. paul} . [He]_0-i made [his]_0-i peace somehow - too readily , perhaps : [I]_{196-m. paul} ought to have stood out longer , but when [he]_0-i looked kind and good , and held out [his]_0-i hand with amity , memory refused to reproduce with due force [his]_0-i oppressive moments . And then , reconcilement is always sweet ! On a certain morning a message came from [[my]_{196-m. paul} godmother]_{506-my godmother} , inviting [me]_{196-m. paul} to attend some notable lecture to be delivered in [the same public rooms]_{6768-the same public rooms} before described . [Dr. John]_135-graham had brought the message [himself]_135-graham , and delivered it verbally to [Rosine]_203-rosine , who had not scrupled to follow the steps of [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , then passing to [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} , and , in [his]_0-i presence , stand "_{[196-m. paul]} carrement " before [my]_{196-m. paul} desk , hand in apron - pocket , and rehearse the same , saucily and aloud , concluding with the words , "_{[196-m. paul]} Qu'il est vraiment beau , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , ce jeune docteur ! Quels yeux - quel regard ! Tenez ! J'en ai le coeur tout emu ! " When [she]_{506-my godmother} was gone , [[my]_0-i professor]_{6765-my professor} demanded of [me]_0-i why [I]_0-i suffered "_[0-i] cette fille effrontee , cette creature sans pudeur , " to address [me]_0-i in such terms . [I]_0-i had no pacifying answer to give . The terms were precisely such as [Rosine]_203-rosine - [a young lady in whose skull the organs of reverence and reserve were not largely developed]_{6771-a young lady in whose skull the organs of reverence and reserve were not largely developed} - was in the constant habit of using . Besides , what [she]_203-rosine said about [the young doctor]_{1271-the young doctor} was true enough . [Graham]_135-graham was handsome ; [he]_135-graham had fine eyes and a thrilling : glance . An observation to that effect actually formed itself into sound on [my]_0-i lips . "_[0-i] Elle ne dit que la verite , " [I]_0-i said . "_[0-i] Ah ! vous trouvez ? " "_{[196-m. paul]} Mais , sans doute . " The lesson to which [we]_6773-we had that day to submit was such as to make [us]_6773-we very glad when it terminated . At its close , [the released , pupils]_{6774-the released , pupils} rushed out , half - trembling , half - exultant . [I]_0-i , too , was going . A mandate to remain arrested [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i muttered that [I]_0-i wanted some fresh air sadly - the stove was in a glow , the classe over - heated . An inexorable voice merely recommended silence ; and [this salamander]_{6775-this salamander} - for whom no room ever seemed too hot - sitting down between [my]_0-i desk and the stove - a situation in which [he]_{1271-the young doctor} ought to have felt broiled , but did not - proceeded to confront [me]_0-i with - a Greek quotation ! In [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's soul rankled a chronic suspicion that [I]_0-i knew both Greek and Latin . As [monkeys]_6776-monkeys are said to have the power of speech if [they]_6776-monkeys would but use it , and are reported to conceal [this faculty]_{6777-this faculty} in fear of its being turned to [their]_6776-monkeys detriment , so to [me]_0-i was ascribed a fund of knowledge which [I]_0-i was supposed criminally and craftily to conceal . The privileges of a "_[0-i] classical education , " it was insinuated , had been [mine]_0-i ; on flowers of Hymettus [I]_0-i had revelled ; [a golden store]_{6778-a golden store} , hived in memory , now silently sustained [my]_0-i efforts , and privily nurtured [my]_0-i wits . A hundred expedients did [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} employ to surprise [my]_0-i secret - to wheedle , to threaten , to startle it out of [me]_0-i . Sometimes [he]_{1271-the young doctor} placed Greek and Latin books in [my]_0-i way , and then watched [me]_0-i , as [[Joan of Arc]_{401-joan of arc} 's jailors]_{6779-joan of arc 's jailors} tempted [her]_{401-joan of arc} with [the warrior]_{6780-the warrior} 's accoutrements , and lay in wait for the issue . Again [he]_{1271-the young doctor} quoted [I]_0-i know not what authors and passages , and while rolling out their sweet and sounding lines the classic tones fell musically from [his]_{1271-the young doctor} lips - for [he]_{1271-the young doctor} had a good voice - remarkable for compass , modulation , and matchless expression , [he]_{1271-the young doctor} would fix on [me]_0-i a vigilant , piercing , and often malicious eye . It was evident [he]_{1271-the young doctor} sometimes expected great demonstrations ; they never occurred , however ; not comprehending , of course [I]_0-i could neither be charmed nor annoyed . [Baffled]_402-baffled - almost angry - [he]_{1271-the young doctor} still clung to [his]_{1271-the young doctor} fixed idea ; [my]_0-i susceptibilities were pronounced marble - [my]_0-i face a mask . It appeared as if [he]_{1271-the young doctor} could not be brought to accept the homely truth , and take [me]_0-i for what [I]_0-i was : [men]_4397-men , and [women]_4398-women too , must have delusion of some sort ; if not made ready to [their]_4397-men hand , [they]_4397-men will invent exaggeration for [themselves]_4397-men . At moments [I]_0-i did wish that [his]_{1271-the young doctor} suspicions had been better founded . There were times when [I]_0-i would have given [my]_0-i right hand to possess the treasures [he]_{1271-the young doctor} ascribed to [me]_0-i . [He]_{1271-the young doctor} deserved condign punishment for [his]_{1271-the young doctor} testy crotchets . [I]_0-i could have gloried in bringing [home]_542-home to [him]_{1271-the young doctor} [his]_{1271-the young doctor} worst apprehensions astoundingly realized . [I]_0-i could have exulted to burst on [his]_{1271-the young doctor} vision , confront and confound [his]_{1271-the young doctor} "_[0-i] lunettes , " one blaze of acquirements . Oh ! why did [nobody]_4256-nobody undertake to make [me]_{3222-women of intellect} clever while [I]_{3222-women of intellect} was young enough to learn , that [I]_{3222-women of intellect} might , by one grand , sudden , inhuman revelation - one cold , cruel , overwhelming triumph - have for ever crushed the mocking spirit out of [Paul Carl David Emanuel]_{395-paul carl} ! Alas ! no such feat was in [my]_{3222-women of intellect} power . To - day , as usual , [his]_{1271-the young doctor} quotations fell ineffectual : [he]_{1271-the young doctor} soon shifted [his]_{1271-the young doctor} ground . "_{[3222-women of intellect]} [Women of intellect]_{3222-women of intellect} " was [his]_{1271-the young doctor} next theme : here [he]_{1271-the young doctor} was at [home]_542-home . [A "_[0-i] woman of intellect]_{6786-a " woman of intellect} , " it appeared , was a sort of "_[0-i] lusus naturae , " a luckless accident , a thing for which there was neither place nor use in creation , wanted neither as [wife]_6787-wife nor [worker]_6788-worker . [Beauty]_403-beauty anticipated [her]_{6786-a " woman of intellect} in the first office . [He]_{1271-the young doctor} believed in [his]_{1271-the young doctor} soul that lovely , placid , and passive feminine mediocrity was the only pillow on which manly thought and sense could find rest for its aching temples ; and as to work , [male mind]_{6789-male mind} alone could work to any good practical result - hein ? This "_[0-i] hein ? " was a note of interrogation intended to draw from [me]_0-i contradiction or objection . However , [I]_0-i only said - "_[0-i] Cela ne [me]_0-i regarde pas : [je]_0-i ne m'en soucie pas ; " and presently added - "_[0-i] May [I]_0-i go , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} ? [They]_3224-they have rung the bell for the second dejeuner " i.e. luncheon . "_[0-i] What of that ? [You]_{1465-monsieur} are not hungry ? " "_{[1465-monsieur]} Indeed [I]_0-i was , " [I]_0-i said ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had had nothing since breakfast , at seven , and should have nothing till dinner , at five , if [I]_0-i missed this bell . " "_[3225-he] Well , [he]_3225-he was in the same plight , but [I]_0-i might share with [him]_3225-he . " And [he]_{1271-the young doctor} broke in two the "_[3225-he] brioche " intended for [his]_{1271-the young doctor} own refreshment , and gave [me]_{922-an ignoramus} half . Truly [his]_{1271-the young doctor} bark was worse than [his]_{1271-the young doctor} bite ; but the really formidable attack was yet to come . While eating [his]_{1271-the young doctor} cake , [I]_{922-an ignoramus} could not forbear expressing [my]_{922-an ignoramus} secret wish that [I]_{922-an ignoramus} really knew all of which [he]_{1271-the young doctor} accused [me]_{922-an ignoramus} . "_{[922-an ignoramus]} Did [I]_0-i sincerely feel [myself]_0-i to be [an ignoramus]_{922-an ignoramus} ? " [he]_{1271-the young doctor} asked , in a softened tone . If [I]_{922-an ignoramus} had replied meekly by an unqualified affirmative , [I]_{922-an ignoramus} believe [he]_{1271-the young doctor} would have stretched out [his]_{1271-the young doctor} hand , and [we]_6790-we should have been [friends on the spot]_{6791-friends on the spot} , but [I]_{922-an ignoramus} answered - "_{[922-an ignoramus]} Not exactly . [I]_0-i am ignorant , [Monsieur]_{3227-monsieur} , in the knowledge [you]_{3227-monsieur} ascribe to [me]_0-i , but [I]_0-i sometimes , not always , feel a knowledge of [my]_0-i own . " "_[0-i] What did [I]_0-i mean ? " [he]_{1271-the young doctor} inquired , sharply . Unable to answer this question in a breath , [I]_0-i evaded it by change of subject . [He]_{1271-the young doctor} had now finished [his]_{1271-the young doctor} half of the brioche feeling sure that on so trifling a fragment [he]_{1271-the young doctor} could not have satisfied [his]_{1271-the young doctor} appetite , as indeed [I]_0-i had not appeased mine , and inhaling the fragrance of baked apples afar from [the refectory]_{5110-the refectory} , [I]_0-i ventured to inquire whether [he]_{1271-the young doctor} did not also perceive that agreeable odour . [He]_{1271-the young doctor} confessed that [he]_{1271-the young doctor} did . [I]_0-i said if [he]_{1271-the young doctor} would let [me]_0-i out by [the garden]_{1165-the garden} - door , and permit [me]_0-i just to run across [the court]_{1612-the court} , [I]_0-i would fetch [him]_{1271-the young doctor} a plateful ; and added that [I]_0-i believed they were excellent , as [Goton]_276-goton had a very good method of baking , or rather stewing fruit , putting in a little spice , sugar , and a glass or two of vin blanc - might [I]_0-i go ? "_[0-i] Petite gourmande ! " said [he]_{1271-the young doctor} , smiling , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have not forgotten how pleased [you]_3228-you were with the pate a la creme [I]_0-i once gave [you]_3228-you , and [you]_3228-you know very well , at this moment , that to fetch the apples for [me]_0-i will be the same as getting them for [yourself]_3228-you . Go , then , but come back quickly . " And at last [he]_{1271-the young doctor} liberated [me]_0-i on parole . [My]_0-i own plan was to go and return with speed and good faith , to put the plate in at the door , and then to vanish incontinent , leaving all consequences for future settlement . That intolerably keen instinct of [his]_{1271-the young doctor} seemed to have anticipated [my]_0-i scheme : [he]_{1271-the young doctor} met [me]_0-i at the threshold , hurried [me]_0-i into [the room]_{600-the room} , and fixed [me]_0-i in a minute in [my]_0-i former seat . Taking the plate of fruit from [my]_0-i hand , [he]_{1271-the young doctor} divided the portion intended only for [himself]_{1271-the young doctor} , and ordered [me]_0-i to eat [my]_0-i share . [I]_0-i complied with no good grace , and vexed , [I]_0-i suppose , by [my]_0-i reluctance , [he]_{1271-the young doctor} opened a masked and dangerous battery . All [he]_{1271-the young doctor} had yet said , [I]_0-i could count as mere sound and fury , signifying nothing : not so of the present attack . It consisted in an unreasonable proposition with which [he]_{1271-the young doctor} had before afflicted [me]_0-i : namely , that on the next public examination - day [I]_0-i should engage - foreigner as [I]_0-i was - to take [my]_0-i place on the first form of [first - class pupils]_{6796-first - class pupils} , and with [them]_{6796-first - class pupils} improvise a composition in French , on any subject [any spectator]_{6797-any spectator} might dictate , without benefit of grammar or lexicon . [I]_0-i knew what the result of such an experiment would be . [I]_0-i , to whom nature had denied the impromptu faculty ; who , in public , was by nature [a cypher ; whose time of mental activity , even when alone , was not under the meridian sun]_{6798-a cypher ; whose time of mental activity , even when alone , was not under the meridian sun} ; who needed the fresh silence of morning , or the recluse peace of evening , to win from the Creative Impulse one evidence of [his]_{1271-the young doctor} presence , one proof of [his]_{1271-the young doctor} force ; [I]_0-i , with whom that Impulse was the most intractable , the most capricious , the most maddening of masters [him]_{1271-the young doctor} before [me]_0-i always excepted - [a deity which sometimes , under circumstances - apparently propitious , would not speak when questioned , would not hear when appealed to , would not , when sought , be found]_{6799-a deity which sometimes , under circumstances - apparently propitious , would not speak when questioned , would not hear when appealed to , would not , when sought , be found} ; but would stand , all cold , all indurated , all granite , [a dark Baal with carven lips and blank eye - balls , and breast like the stone face of a tomb]_{6800-a dark baal with carven lips and blank eye - balls , and breast like the stone face of a tomb} ; and again , suddenly , at some turn , some sound , some long - trembling sob of the wind , at some rushing past of an unseen stream of electricity , [the irrational demon]_{6801-the irrational demon} would wake unsolicited , would stir strangely alive , would rush from its pedestal like a perturbed Dagon , calling to its votary for a sacrifice , whatever the hour - to [its]_{6801-the irrational demon} victim for some blood , or some breath , whatever the circumstance or scene - rousing [its]_{6801-the irrational demon} priest , treacherously promising vaticination , perhaps filling [its]_{6801-the irrational demon} temple with a strange hum of oracles , but sure to give half the significance to fateful winds , and grudging to the desperate listener even a miserable remnant - yielding it sordidly , as though each word had been a drop of the deathless ichor of its own dark veins . And this tyrant [I]_0-i was to compel into bondage , and make [it]_6802-it improvise a theme , on a school estrade , between [a Mathilde]_{5251-a mathilde} and [a Coralie]_{6804-a coralie} , under the eye of [a Madame Beck]_190-madame , for the pleasure , and to the inspiration of [a bourgeois of [Labassecour]_{48-labassecour}]_{6805-a bourgeois of labassecour} ! Upon this argument [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} and [I]_0-i did battle more than once - strong battle , with confused noise of demand and rejection , exaction and repulse . On this particular day [I]_0-i was soundly rated . "_[0-i] The obstinacy of [my]_0-i whole sex , " it seems , was concentrated in [me]_0-i ; [I]_0-i had an "_[0-i] orgueil de diable . " [I]_0-i feared to fail , forsooth ! What did it matter whether [I]_0-i failed or not ? Who was [I]_0-i that [I]_0-i should not fail , like [my]_0-i betters ? It would do [me]_0-i good to fail . [He]_0-i wanted to see [me]_0-i worsted [I]_0-i knew [he]_0-i did , and one minute [he]_0-i paused to take breath . "_[0-i] Would [I]_0-i speak now , and be tractable ? " "_[0-i] Never would [I]_0-i be tractable in this matter . Law itself should not compel [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i would pay a fine , or undergo an imprisonment , rather than write for a show and to order , perched up on [a platform]_{3229-a platform} . " "_[0-i] Could softer motives influence [me]_0-i ? Would [I]_0-i yield for friendship 's sake ? " "_[0-i] Not a whit , not a hair - breadth . No form of friendship under the sun had a right to exact such a concession . No true friendship would harass [me]_0-i thus . " [He]_0-i supposed then with a sneer - [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} could sneer supremely , curling [his]_0-i lip , opening [his]_0-i nostrils , contracting [his]_0-i eyelids - [he]_0-i supposed there was but one form of appeal to which [I]_0-i would listen , and of that form it was not for [him]_0-i to make use . "_[0-i] Under certain persuasions , from certain quarters , je vous vois d'ici , " said [he]_0-i , "_[0-i] eagerly subscribing to the sacrifice , passionately arming for the effort . " "_[0-i] Making [a simpleton]_{3230-a simpleton} , a warning , and an example of [myself]_0-i , before a hundred and fifty of [the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of Villette]_{3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette} . " And here , losing patience , [I]_{3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette} broke out afresh with a cry that [I]_{3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette} wanted to be liberated - to get out into the air - [I]_{3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette} was almost in a fever . "_{[3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette]} Chut ! " said the inexorable , "_{[3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette]} this was a mere pretext to run away ; [he]_3232-i was not hot , with the stove close at [his]_3232-i back ; how could [I]_0-i suffer , thoroughly screened by [[his]_3232-i person]_{6623-his person} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did not understand [his]_3232-i constitution . [I]_0-i knew nothing of the natural history of [salamanders]_{3234-salamanders} . For [my]_0-i own part , [I]_0-i was [a phlegmatic islander]_{3235-a phlegmatic islander} , and sitting in [an oven]_{3236-an oven} did not agree with [me]_0-i ; at least , might [I]_0-i step to the well , and get a glass of water - the sweet apples had made [me]_0-i thirsty ? " "_[3232-i] If that was all , [he]_3232-i would do [my]_0-i errand . " [He]_3232-i went to fetch the water . Of course , with a door only on the latch behind [me]_3232-i , [I]_3232-i lost not [my]_3232-i opportunity . Ere [his]_3232-i return , [his]_3232-i half - worried prey had escaped . CHAPTER XXXI . [THE DRYAD]_{6806-the dryad} . The spring was advancing , and the weather had turned suddenly warm . This change of temperature brought with it for [me]_3232-i , as probably for many others , temporary decrease of strength . Slight exertion at this time left [me]_3232-i overcome with fatigue - sleepless nights entailed languid days . One Sunday afternoon , having walked the distance of half a league to [the Protestant church]_{6807-the protestant church} , [I]_3232-i came back weary and exhausted ; and taking refuge in [[my]_3232-i solitary sanctuary]_{6808-my solitary sanctuary} , the first classe , [I]_3232-i was glad to sit down , and to make of [my]_3232-i desk a pillow for [my]_3232-i arms and head . Awhile [I]_3232-i listened to the lullaby of bees humming in the berceau , and watched , through the glass door and the tender , lightly - strewn spring foliage , [Madame Beck]_190-madame and [a gay party of [friends]_533-friends]_{6809-a gay party of friends} , whom [she]_190-madame had entertained that day at dinner after morning mass , walking in the centre - alley under orchard boughs dressed at this season in blossom , and wearing a colouring as pure and warm as mountain - snow at sun - rise . [My]_3232-i principal attraction towards [this group of guests]_{6811-this group of guests} lay , [I]_3232-i remember , in one figure - that of [a handsome young girl whom [I]_3232-i had seen before as a visitor at [Madame Beck 's]_190-madame]_{6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's} , and of whom [I]_3232-i had been vaguely told that [she]_{6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's} was a "_[3232-i] filleule , " or [god - daughter , of [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's , and that between [[her]_{6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's} mother]_{550-her mother} , or aunt , or [some other female relation of [hers]_{6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's}]_{6815-some other female relation of hers} , and [the Professor]_{2055-the professor}]_{6813-god - daughter , of m. emanuel 's , and that between her mother , or aunt , or some other female relation of hers , and the professor} , had existed of old a special friendship . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was not of [the holiday band]_{6817-the holiday band} to - day , but [I]_3232-i had seen [this young girl]_{6818-this young girl} with [him]_{196-m. paul} ere now , and as far as distant observation could enable [me]_3232-i to judge , [she]_{6818-this young girl} seemed to enjoy [him]_{196-m. paul} with the frank ease of [a ward with [an indulgent guardian]_{6820-an indulgent guardian}]_{6819-a ward with an indulgent guardian} . [I]_3232-i had seen [her]_{6818-this young girl} run up to [him]_{196-m. paul} , put [her]_{6818-this young girl} arm through [his]_{196-m. paul} , and hang upon [him]_{196-m. paul} . Once , when [she]_{6818-this young girl} did so , a curious sensation had struck through [me]_3232-i - a disagreeable anticipatory sensation - one of the family of presentiments , [I]_3232-i suppose - but [I]_3232-i refused to analyze or dwell upon it . While watching [this girl]_{4869-this girl} , [Mademoiselle Sauveur]_{404-mademoiselle sauveur} by name , and following the gleam of [her]_{4869-this girl} bright silk robe [she]_{4869-this girl} was always richly dressed , for [she]_{4869-this girl} was said to be wealthy through the flowers and the glancing leaves of tender emerald , [my]_3232-i eyes became dazzled - they closed ; [my]_3232-i lassitude , the warmth of the day , the hum of bees and birds , all lulled [me]_3232-i , and at last [I]_3232-i slept . Two hours stole over [me]_3232-i . Ere [I]_3232-i woke , the sun had declined out of sight behind [the towering houses]_{6822-the towering houses} , [the garden]_{1165-the garden} and [the room]_{600-the room} were grey , bees had gone homeward , and the flowers were closing ; [the party of [guests]_6826-guests]_{6825-the party of guests} , too , had vanished ; [each alley]_{6827-each alley} was void . On waking , [I]_3232-i felt much at ease - not chill , as [I]_3232-i ought to have been after sitting so still for at least two hours ; [my]_3232-i cheek and arms were not benumbed by pressure against the hard desk . No wonder . Instead of the bare wood on which [I]_3232-i had laid them , [I]_3232-i found a thick shawl , carefully folded , substituted for support , and another shawl both taken from [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} where such things hung wrapped warmly round [me]_3232-i . Who had done this ? Who was [[my]_3232-i friend]_{801-my friend} ? Which of [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers} ? Which of [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} ? None , except [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , was inimical to [me]_3232-i ; but which of [them]_{1102-the pupils} had the art , the thought , the habit , of benefiting thus tenderly ? Which of [them]_{1102-the pupils} had a step so quiet , a hand so gentle , but [I]_3232-i should have heard or felt [her]_{801-my friend} , if [she]_{801-my friend} had approached or touched [me]_3232-i in a day - sleep ? As to [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , [that bright young creature]_{6832-that bright young creature} was not gentle at all , and would certainly have pulled [me]_3232-i out of [my]_3232-i chair , if [she]_{801-my friend} had meddled in the matter . [I]_3232-i said at last : "_[3232-i] It is [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's doing ; [she]_190-madame has come in , seen [me]_0-i asleep , and thought [I]_0-i might take cold . [She]_190-madame considers [me]_0-i a useful machine , answering well the purpose for which it was hired ; so would not have [me]_0-i needlessly injured . And now , " methought , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i 'll take a walk ; the evening is fresh , and not very chill . " So [I]_190-madame opened the glass door and stepped into [the berceau]_{4908-the berceau} . [I]_190-madame went to [[my]_190-madame own alley]_{6834-my own alley} : had it been dark , or even dusk , [I]_190-madame should have hardly ventured [there]_512-there , for [I]_190-madame had not yet forgotten the curious illusion of vision if illusion it were experienced in [that place]_{2360-that place} some months ago . But a ray of the setting sun burnished still the grey crown of [Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste} ; nor had all the birds of [the garden]_{1165-the garden} yet vanished into their nests amongst the tufted shrubs and thick wall- ivy . [I]_190-madame paced up and down , thinking almost the same thoughts [I]_190-madame had pondered that night when [I]_190-madame buried [my]_190-madame glass jar - how [I]_190-madame should make some advance in life , take another step towards an independent position ; for this train of reflection , though not lately pursued , had never by [me]_190-madame been wholly abandoned ; and whenever a certain eye was averted from [me]_190-madame , and a certain countenance grew dark with unkindness and injustice , into that track of speculation did [I]_190-madame at once strike ; so that , little by little , [I]_190-madame had laid half a plan . "_[190-madame] Living costs little , " said [I]_190-madame to [myself]_190-madame , "_[190-madame] in [this economical town of Villette]_{3237-this economical town of villette} , where [people]_531-people are more sensible than [I]_0-i understand [they]_531-people are in [dear old [England]_19-england]_{3239-dear old england} - infinitely less worried about appearance , and less emulous of display - where [nobody]_4256-nobody is in the least ashamed to be quite as homely and saving as [he]_4256-nobody finds convenient . [House]_5530-house - rent , in a prudently chosen situation , need not be high . When [I]_0-i shall have saved one thousand francs , [I]_0-i will take [a tenement]_{3242-a tenement} with [one large room]_{3243-one large room} , and [two or three smaller ones]_{3244-two or three smaller ones} , furnish the first with a few benches and desks , a black tableau , an estrade for [myself]_0-i ; upon it a chair and table , with a sponge and some white chalks ; begin with taking [day- pupils]_{3245-day- pupils} , and so work [my]_0-i way upwards . [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's commencement]_{3246-madame beck 's commencement} was - as [I]_0-i have often heard [her]_190-madame say - from no higher starting - point , and where is [she]_190-madame now ? All [these premises]_{3247-these premises} and [this garden]_{4983-this garden} are [hers]_190-madame , bought with [her]_190-madame money ; [she]_190-madame has a competency already secured for old age , and a flourishing establishment under [her]_190-madame direction , which will furnish a career for [[her]_190-madame children]_{5002-her children} . " [Courage]_405-courage , [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy ! With self - denial and economy now , and steady exertion by - and - by , [an object in life]_{6838-an object in life} need not fail [you]_6839-you . Venture not to complain that such an object is too selfish , too limited , and lacks interest ; be content to labour for independence until [you]_6839-you have proved , by winning that prize , [your]_6839-you right to look higher . But afterwards , is there nothing more for [me]_3251-i in life - no true home - nothing to be dearer to [me]_3251-i than [myself]_3251-i , and by its paramount preciousness , to draw from [me]_3251-i better things than [I]_3251-i care to culture for [myself]_3251-i only ? Nothing , at whose feet [I]_3251-i can willingly lay down the whole burden of human egotism , and gloriously take up the nobler charge of labouring and living for [others]_770-others ? [I]_3251-i suppose , [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy , the orb of [your]_6839-you life is not to be so rounded : for [you]_6839-you , the crescent - phase must suffice . Very good . [I]_3251-i see a huge mass of [my]_3251-i fellow - creatures in no better circumstances . [I]_3251-i see that [a great many men]_{6841-a great many men} , and [more women]_{6842-more women} , hold [their]_{6841-a great many men} span of life on conditions of denial and privation . [I]_3251-i find no reason why [I]_3251-i should be of the few favoured . [I]_3251-i believe in some blending of hope and sunshine sweetening the worst lots . [I]_3251-i believe that this life is not all ; neither the beginning nor the end . [I]_3251-i believe while [I]_3251-i tremble ; [I]_3251-i trust while [I]_3251-i weep . "_[3251-i] So this subject is done with . It is right to look [our]_3250-our life - accounts bravely in the face now and then , and settle them honestly . And [he]_3251-i is [a poor self - swindler who lies to [himself]_3251-i while [he]_3251-i reckons the items , and sets down under the head - happiness that which is misery]_{3252-a poor self - swindler who lies to himself while he reckons the items , and sets down under the head - happiness that which is misery} . Call anguish - anguish , and despair - despair ; write both down in strong characters with a resolute pen : [you]_3253-you will the better pay [your]_3253-you debt to [Doom]_406-doom . Falsify : insert " privilege "_[3253-you] where [you]_3253-you should have written " pain ; "_[3253-you] and see if [[your]_3253-you mighty creditor]_{3254-your mighty creditor} will allow the fraud to pass , or accept the coin with which [you]_3253-you would cheat [him]_{3254-your mighty creditor} . Offer to [the strongest]_{3255-the strongest} - if [the darkest angel of [God]_164-god 's host]_{3256-the darkest angel of god 's host} - water , when [he]_{3256-the darkest angel of god 's host} has asked blood - will [he]_{3256-the darkest angel of god 's host} take it ? Not a whole pale sea for one red drop . [I]_0-i settled another account . Pausing before [Methusaleh]_{362-methusaleh} - [the giant and patriarch of [the garden]_{1165-the garden}]_{3257-the giant and patriarch of the garden} - and leaning [my]_0-i brow against [his]_{362-methusaleh} knotty trunk , [my]_0-i foot rested on the stone sealing the small sepulchre at [his]_{362-methusaleh} root ; and [I]_0-i recalled the passage of feeling therein buried ; [I]_0-i recalled [Dr. John]_135-graham ; [my]_0-i warm affection for [him]_135-graham ; [my]_0-i faith in [his]_135-graham excellence ; [my]_0-i delight in [his]_135-graham grace . What was become of that curious one - sided friendship which was half marble and half life ; only on one hand truth , and on the other perhaps a jest ? Was this feeling dead ? [I]_0-i do not know , but it was buried . Sometimes [I]_0-i thought [the tomb]_{3259-the tomb} unquiet , and dreamed strangely of disturbed earth , and of hair , still golden , and living , obtruded through coffin - chinks . Had [I]_0-i been too hasty ? [I]_0-i used to ask [myself]_0-i ; and this question would occur with a cruel sharpness after some brief chance interview with [Dr. John]_135-graham . [He]_135-graham had still such kind looks , such a warm hand ; [his]_135-graham voice still kept so pleasant a tone for [my]_0-i name ; [I]_0-i never liked " [Lucy]_142-lucy "_[135-graham] so well as when [he]_135-graham uttered it . But [I]_0-i learned in time that this benignity , this cordiality , this music , belonged in no shape to [me]_0-i : it was a part of [himself]_135-graham ; it was the honey of [his]_135-graham temper ; it was the balm of [his]_135-graham mellow mood ; [he]_135-graham imparted it , as the ripe fruit rewards with sweetness the rifling bee ; [he]_135-graham diffused it about [him]_135-graham , as sweet plants shed [their]_3260-their perfume . Does the nectarine love either the bee or bird it feeds ? Is [the sweetbriar enamoured of the air]_{3261-the sweetbriar enamoured of the air} ? " Good - night , [Dr. John]_135-graham ; [you]_135-graham are good , [you]_135-graham are beautiful ; but [you]_135-graham are not mine . Good - night , and God bless [you]_135-graham ! "_{[3261-the sweetbriar enamoured of the air]} Thus [I]_0-i closed [my]_0-i musings . " Good - night "_[0-i] left [my]_0-i lips in sound ; [I]_0-i heard the words spoken , and then [I]_0-i heard an echo - quite close . " Good - night , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} ; or , rather , good - evening - the sun is scarce set ; [I]_0-i hope [you]_135-graham slept well ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i started , but was only discomposed a moment ; [I]_0-i knew the voice and speaker . " Slept , [Monsieur]_{6843-monsieur} ! When ? where ? "_[0-i] " [You]_135-graham may well inquire when - where . It seems [you]_135-graham turn day into night , and choose a desk for a pillow ; rather hard lodging - ? "_[0-i] " It was softened for [me]_0-i , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , while [I]_0-i slept . That unseen , gift- bringing thing which haunts [my]_0-i desk , remembered [me]_0-i . No matter how [I]_0-i fell asleep ; [I]_0-i awoke pillowed and covered . "_[0-i] " Did the shawls keep [you]_135-graham warm ? "_[0-i] " Very warm . Do [you]_135-graham ask thanks for [them]_6845-them ? "_[0-i] " No . [You]_135-graham looked pale in [your]_135-graham slumbers : are [you]_135-graham [home]_542-home - sick ? "_[0-i] " To be [home]_542-home - sick , [one]_607-one must have [a home]_{6849-a home} ; which [I]_0-i have not . "_[0-i] " Then [you]_135-graham have more need of [a careful friend]_{6850-a careful friend} . [I]_0-i scarcely know [any one]_{1135-any one} , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy , who needs [a friend]_{1797-a friend} more absolutely than [you]_135-graham ; [your]_135-graham very faults imperatively require it . [You]_135-graham want so much checking , regulating , and keeping down . "_[0-i] This idea of " keeping down "_[0-i] never left [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's head ; the most habitual subjugation would , in [my]_0-i case , have failed to relieve [him]_{196-m. paul} of it . No matter ; what did it signify ? [I]_0-i listened to [him]_{196-m. paul} , and did not trouble [myself]_0-i to be too submissive ; [his]_{196-m. paul} occupation would have been gone had [I]_0-i left [him]_{196-m. paul} nothing to " keep down . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [You]_135-graham need watching , and watching over , "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} pursued ; " and it is well for [you]_135-graham that [I]_{196-m. paul} see this , and do [my]_{196-m. paul} best to discharge both duties . [I]_{196-m. paul} watch [you]_135-graham and [others]_770-others pretty closely , pretty constantly , nearer and oftener than [you]_135-graham or [they]_770-others think . Do [you]_135-graham see that window with a light in it ? "_{[196-m. paul]} [He]_{196-m. paul} pointed to a lattice in [one of [the college boarding - houses]_{3263-the college boarding - houses}]_{3262-one of the college boarding - houses} . " That , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} , " is [a room [I]_{196-m. paul} have hired]_{6854-a room i have hired} , nominally for a study - virtually for a post of observation . There [I]_{196-m. paul} sit and read for hours together : it is [my]_{196-m. paul} way - [my]_{196-m. paul} taste . [My]_{196-m. paul} book is [this garden]_{4983-this garden} ; its contents are human nature - female human nature . [I]_{196-m. paul} know [you]_135-graham all by heart . Ah ! [I]_{196-m. paul} know [you]_135-graham well - [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , [the Parisienne]_{6502-the parisienne} - cette maitresse - femme , [[my]_{196-m. paul} cousin]_{6238-my cousin} Beck [herself]_{6238-my cousin} . "_{[196-m. paul]} " It is not right , [Monsieur]_{6858-monsieur} . "_{[196-m. paul]} " Comment ? it is not right ? By whose creed ? Does some dogma of [Calvin]_407-calvin or [Luther]_408-luther condemn it ? What is that to [me]_{196-m. paul} ? [I]_{196-m. paul} am [no Protestant]_{6859-no protestant} . [[My]_{196-m. paul} rich father]_{6860-my rich father} for , though [I]_{196-m. paul} have known poverty , and once starved for a year in [a garret in [Rome]_54-rome]_{6861-a garret in rome} - starved wretchedly , often on a meal a day , and sometimes not that - yet [I]_{196-m. paul} was born to wealth - [[my]_{196-m. paul} rich father]_{6860-my rich father} was [a good Catholic]_{6863-a good catholic} ; and [he]_{6860-my rich father} gave [me]_{196-m. paul} [a priest]_{5700-a priest} and [a Jesuit]_{5728-a jesuit} for [a tutor]_{6866-a tutor} . [I]_{196-m. paul} retain [his]_{6860-my rich father} lessons ; and to what discoveries , [grand Dieu]_270-dieu ! have [they]_6867-they not aided [me]_{196-m. paul} ! "_{[196-m. paul]} " Discoveries made by [stealth]_6868-stealth seem to [me]_{196-m. paul} dishonourable discoveries . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [Puritaine]_{409-puritaine} ! [I]_{196-m. paul} doubt it not . Yet see how [my]_{196-m. paul} Jesuit 's system works . [You]_3264-i know [the St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} ? "_{[196-m. paul]} " Partially . "_[3264-i] [He]_3264-i laughed . " [You]_3264-i say right - ' partially ' ; whereas [I]_3264-i know [her]_{261-mademoiselle} thoroughly ; there is the difference . [She]_{261-mademoiselle} played before [me]_3264-i the amiable ; offered [me]_3264-i patte de velours ; caressed , flattered , fawned on [me]_3264-i . Now , [I]_3264-i am accessible to [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's flattery - accessible against [my]_3264-i reason . Though never pretty , [she]_{261-mademoiselle} was - when [I]_3264-i first knew [her]_{261-mademoiselle} - young , or knew how to look young . Like all [[her]_{261-mademoiselle} countrywomen]_{6870-her countrywomen} , [she]_{261-mademoiselle} had the art of dressing - [she]_{261-mademoiselle} had a certain cool , easy , social assurance , which spared [me]_3264-i the pain of embarrassment - "_[3264-i] " [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , that must have been unnecessary . [I]_{196-m. paul} never saw [you]_{1465-monsieur} embarrassed in [my]_{196-m. paul} life . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , [you]_{1465-monsieur} know little of [me]_{196-m. paul} ; [I]_{196-m. paul} can be embarrassed as [a petite pensionnaire]_{6872-a petite pensionnaire} ; there is a fund of modesty and diffidence in [my]_{196-m. paul} nature - "_{[196-m. paul]} " [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [I]_3264-i never saw it . "_[3264-i] " [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , it is there . [You]_{1465-monsieur} ought to have seen it . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [I]_{196-m. paul} have observed [you]_{1465-monsieur} in public - on platforms , in tribunes , before titles and crowned heads - and [you]_{1465-monsieur} were as easy as [you]_{1465-monsieur} are in the third division . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , neither titles nor crowned heads excite [my]_{196-m. paul} modesty ; and publicity is very much [my]_{196-m. paul} element . [I]_{196-m. paul} like it well , and breathe in it quite freely ; - but - but , in short , here is the sentiment brought into action , at this very moment ; however , [I]_{196-m. paul} disdain to be worsted by it . If , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , [I]_{196-m. paul} were [a marrying man]_{6875-a marrying man} which [I]_{196-m. paul} am not ; and [you]_{261-mademoiselle} may spare [yourself]_{261-mademoiselle} the trouble of any sneer [you]_{261-mademoiselle} may be contemplating at the thought , and found it necessary to ask [a lady]_{1639-a lady} whether [she]_{1639-a lady} could look upon [me]_{196-m. paul} in the light of [a future husband]_{5044-a future husband} , then would it be proved that [I]_{196-m. paul} am as [I]_{196-m. paul} say - modest "_{[196-m. paul]} [I]_0-i quite believed [him]_3265-him now ; and , in believing , [I]_0-i honoured [him]_3265-him with a sincerity of esteem which made [my]_0-i heart ache . " As to the [St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} , "_[3265-him] [he]_3265-him went on , recovering [himself]_3265-him , for [his]_3265-him voice had altered a little , ' [she]_3266-her once intended to be [Madame Emanuel]_{410-madame emanuel} ; and [I]_0-i do n't know whither [I]_0-i might have been led , but for yonder little lattice with the light . Ah , magic lattice ! what miracles of discovery hast [thou]_3267-thou wrought ! Yes , " [he]_3265-him pursued , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have seen [her]_3266-her rancours , [her]_3266-her vanities , [her]_3266-her levities - not only here , but elsewhere : [I]_0-i have witnessed what bucklers [me]_0-i against all [her]_3266-her arts : [I]_0-i am safe from [poor Zelie]_{261-mademoiselle} . " "_{[261-mademoiselle]} And [[my]_0-i pupils]_{3268-my pupils} , " [he]_0-i presently recommenced , "_{[3268-my pupils]} [those blondes jeunes filles]_{3269-those blondes jeunes filles} - so mild and meek - [I]_0-i have seen [the most reserved]_{3270-the most reserved} - romp like [boys]_3271-boys , [the demurest]_{3272-the demurest} - snatch grapes from the walls , shake pears from the trees . When [the English teacher]_{1435-the english teacher} came , [I]_0-i saw [her]_3266-her , marked [her]_3266-her early preference for [this alley]_{4999-this alley} , noticed [her]_3266-her taste for seclusion , watched [her]_3266-her well , long before [she]_3266-her and [I]_0-i came to speaking terms ; do [you]_3275-you recollect [my]_0-i once coming silently and offering [you]_3275-you a little knot of white violets when [we]_3276-we were [strangers]_{870-strangers} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i recollect it . [I]_0-i dried the violets , kept them , and have them still . " "_[0-i] It pleased [me]_0-i when [you]_3275-you took them peacefully and promptly , without prudery - that sentiment which [I]_0-i ever dread to excite , and which , when it is revealed in eye or gesture , [I]_0-i vindictively detest . To return . Not only did [I]_0-i watch [you]_3275-you ; but often - especially at eventide - [another guardian angel]_{3278-another guardian angel} was noiselessly hovering near : night after night [[my]_0-i cousin]_{6238-my cousin} [Beck]_190-madame has stolen down yonder steps , and glidingly pursued [your]_3275-you movements when [you]_3275-you did not see [her]_190-madame . " "_[190-madame] But , [Monsieur]_{3280-monsieur} , [you]_3275-you could not from the distance of that window see what passed in [this garden]_{4983-this garden} at night ? " "_[0-i] By moonlight [I]_0-i possibly might with a glass - [I]_0-i use a glass - but [the garden]_{1165-the garden} itself is open to [me]_0-i . In [the shed]_{3283-the shed} , at the bottom , there is a door leading into [a court]_{3284-a court} , which communicates with [the college]_{3012-the college} ; of that door [I]_0-i possess the key , and thus come and go at pleasure . This afternoon [I]_0-i came through [it]_3286-it , and found [you]_3275-you asleep in classe ; again this evening [I]_0-i have availed [myself]_0-i of the same entrance . " [I]_0-i could not help saying , "_[0-i] If [you]_3275-you were [a wicked , designing man]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} , how terrible would all this be ! " [His]_3275-you attention seemed incapable of being arrested by this view of the subject : [he]_3275-you lit [his]_3275-you cigar , and while [he]_3275-you puffed it , leaning against a tree , and looking at [me]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} in a cool , amused way [he]_3275-you had when [his]_3275-you humour was tranquil , [I]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} thought proper to go on sermonizing [him]_3275-you : [he]_3275-you often lectured [me]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} by the hour together - [I]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} did not see why [I]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} should not speak [my]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} mind for once . So [I]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} told [him]_3275-you [my]_{3287-a wicked , designing man} impressions concerning [his]_3275-you Jesuit- system . "_{[3287-a wicked , designing man]} The knowledge it brings [you]_3275-you is bought too dear , [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} ; this coming and going by stealth degrades [your]_3275-you own dignity . " "_[0-i] [My]_0-i dignity ! " [he]_3275-you cried , laughing ; "_[0-i] when did [you]_3289-you ever see [me]_0-i trouble [my]_0-i head about [my]_0-i dignity ? It is [you]_3289-you , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy , who are ' digne . ' How often , in [your]_3289-you high insular presence , have [I]_0-i taken a pleasure in trampling upon , what [you]_3289-you are pleased to call , [my]_0-i dignity ; tearing it , scattering it to the winds , in those mad transports [you]_3289-you witness with such hauteur , and which [I]_0-i know [you]_3289-you think very like the ravings of [a third - rate London actor]_{3290-a third - rate london actor} . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [I]_0-i tell [you]_{1465-monsieur} every glance [you]_{1465-monsieur} cast from [that lattice]_{3292-that lattice} is a wrong done to the best part of [your]_{1465-monsieur} own nature . To study the human heart thus , is to banquet secretly and sacrilegiously on [Eve]_411-eve 's apples . [I]_0-i wish [you]_{1465-monsieur} were [a Protestant]_{928-a protestant} . " Indifferent to the wish , [he]_{1465-monsieur} smoked on . After a space of smiling yet thoughtful silence , [he]_{1465-monsieur} said , rather suddenly - "_{[1465-monsieur]} [I]_0-i have seen other things . " "_[0-i] What other things ? " Taking the weed from [his]_{1465-monsieur} lips , [he]_{1465-monsieur} threw the remnant amongst the shrubs , where , for a moment , it lay glowing in the gloom . "_[0-i] Look , at it , " said [he]_{1465-monsieur} : "_[0-i] is not that spark like an eye watching [you]_3289-you and [me]_0-i ? " [He]_{1465-monsieur} took a turn down [the walk]_{1171-the walk} ; presently returning , [he]_{1465-monsieur} went on : - "_[0-i] [I]_0-i have seen , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy , things to [me]_0-i unaccountable , that have made [me]_0-i watch all night for a solution , and [I]_0-i have not yet found it . " The tone was peculiar ; [my]_0-i veins thrilled ; [he]_{1465-monsieur} saw [me]_0-i shiver . "_[0-i] Are [you]_0-i afraid ? Whether is it of [my]_0-i words or that red jealous eye just winking itself out ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am cold ; the night grows dark and late , and the air is changed ; it is time to go in . " "_{[261-mademoiselle]} It is little past eight , but [you]_0-i shall go in soon . Answer [me]_0-i only this question . " Yet [he]_{1465-monsieur} paused ere [he]_{1465-monsieur} put it . [The garden]_{1165-the garden} was truly growing dark ; dusk had come on with clouds , and drops of rain began to patter through the trees . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} hoped [he]_{1465-monsieur} would feel this , but , for the moment , [he]_{1465-monsieur} seemed too much absorbed to be sensible of the change . "_{[261-mademoiselle]} [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , do [you]_3294-you [Protestants]_{412-protestants} believe in the supernatural ? " "_{[261-mademoiselle]} There is a difference of theory and belief on this point amongst [Protestants]_{412-protestants} as amongst other sects , " [I]_{261-mademoiselle} answered . "_{[261-mademoiselle]} Why , [Monsieur]_{3295-monsieur} , do [you]_{3295-monsieur} ask such a question ? " "_{[3295-monsieur]} Why do [you]_{3295-monsieur} shrink and speak so faintly ? Are [you]_{3295-monsieur} superstitious ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am constitutionally nervous . [I]_0-i dislike the discussion of such subjects . [I]_0-i dislike it the more because - " "_{[3295-monsieur]} [You]_{3295-monsieur} believe ? " "_{[3295-monsieur]} No : but it has happened to [me]_0-i to experience impressions - " "_[413-bon] Since [you]_{3295-monsieur} came [here]_4212-here ? " "_{[3295-monsieur]} Yes ; not many months ago . " "_{[3295-monsieur]} Here ? - in [this house]_{5145-this house} ? " "_{[3295-monsieur]} Yes . " "_[413-bon] [Bon]_413-bon ! [I]_0-i am glad of it . [I]_0-i knew it , somehow ; before [you]_{3295-monsieur} told [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i was conscious of rapport between [you]_{3295-monsieur} and [myself]_0-i . [You]_{3295-monsieur} are patient , and [I]_0-i am choleric ; [you]_{3295-monsieur} are quiet and pale , and [I]_0-i am tanned and fiery ; [you]_{3295-monsieur} are a strict Protestant , and [I]_0-i am [a sort of lay Jesuit]_{3298-a sort of lay jesuit} : but [we]_3299-we are alike - there is affinity between [us]_3299-we . Do [you]_{3295-monsieur} see it , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , when [you]_{3295-monsieur} look in the glass ? Do [you]_{3295-monsieur} observe that [your]_{3295-monsieur} forehead is shaped like [mine]_0-i - that [your]_{3295-monsieur} eyes are cut like [mine]_0-i ? Do [you]_{3295-monsieur} hear that [you]_{3295-monsieur} have some of [my]_0-i tones of voice ? Do [you]_{3295-monsieur} know that [you]_{3295-monsieur} have many of [my]_0-i looks ? [I]_0-i perceive all this , and believe that [you]_{3295-monsieur} were born under [my]_0-i star . Yes , [you]_{3295-monsieur} were born under [my]_0-i star ! [Tremble]_414-tremble ! for where that is the case with [mortals]_3300-mortals , the threads of [their]_3300-mortals destinies are difficult to disentangle ; knottings and catchings occur - sudden breaks leave damage in the web . But these ' impressions , ' as [you]_{3295-monsieur} say , with English caution . [I]_0-i , too , have had [my]_0-i ' impressions . ' " "_[0-i] [Monsieur]_{3301-monsieur} , tell [me]_0-i them . " "_{[3301-monsieur]} [I]_0-i desire no better , and intend no less . [You]_{3301-monsieur} know the legend of [this house]_{5145-this house} and [garden]_1594-garden ? " "_{[3301-monsieur]} [I]_0-i know it . Yes . [They]_3304-they say that hundreds of years ago [a nun]_{6121-a nun} was buried here alive at the foot of this very tree , beneath [the ground which now bears [us]_3307-us]_{3306-the ground which now bears us} . " "_{[6121-a nun]} And that in former days [a nun]_{6121-a nun} 's ghost used to come and go [here]_4212-here . " "_{[1465-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , what if it comes and goes here still ? " "_{[1465-monsieur]} Something comes and goes here : there is a shape frequenting [this house]_{5145-this house} by night , different to any forms that show [themselves]_3304-they by day . [I]_0-i have indisputably seen a something , more than once ; and to [me]_0-i [its]_{5145-this house} conventual weeds were a strange sight , saying more than they can do to any other living being . [A nun]_{6121-a nun} ! " "_{[3313-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{3313-monsieur} , [I]_0-i , too , have seen it . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i anticipated that . Whether [this nun]_{3314-this nun} be flesh and blood , or something that remains when blood is dried , and flesh is wasted , [her]_{3314-this nun} business is as much with [you]_{3313-monsieur} as with [me]_0-i , probably . Well , [I]_0-i mean to make it out ; it has baffled [me]_0-i so far , but [I]_0-i mean to follow up the mystery . [I]_0-i mean - " Instead of telling what [he]_{3313-monsieur} meant , [he]_{3313-monsieur} raised [his]_{3313-monsieur} head suddenly ; [I]_0-i made the same movement in the same instant ; [we]_6880-we both looked to one point - the high tree shadowing the great berceau , and resting some of its boughs on the roof of [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} . There had been a strange and inexplicable sound from that quarter , as if the arms of that tree had swayed of their own motion , and its weight of foliage had rushed and crushed against the massive trunk . Yes ; there scarce stirred a breeze , and that heavy tree was convulsed , whilst the feathery shrubs stood still . For some minutes amongst the wood and leafage a rending and heaving went on . Dark as it was , it seemed to [me]_0-i that something more solid than either night - shadow , or branch - shadow , blackened out of the boles . At last the struggle ceased . What birth succeeded this travail ? What [Dryad]_415-dryad was born of these throes ? [We]_6880-we watched fixedly . A sudden bell rang in [the house]_{518-the house} - the prayer - bell . Instantly into [[our]_6880-we alley]_{6883-our alley} there came , out of the berceau , [an apparition , all black and white]_{6884-an apparition , all black and white} . With a sort of angry rush - close , close past [our]_6880-we faces - swept swiftly [the very NUN]_{6885-the very nun} [herself]_{6885-the very nun} ! Never had [I]_0-i seen [her]_{6885-the very nun} so clearly . [She]_{6885-the very nun} looked tall of stature , and fierce of gesture . As [she]_{6885-the very nun} went , the wind rose sobbing ; the rain poured wild and cold ; the whole night seemed to feel [her]_{6885-the very nun} . CHAPTER XXXII . THE FIRST LETTER . Where , it becomes time to inquire , was [Paulina Mary]_141-paulina ? How fared [my]_0-i intercourse with [the sumptuous Hotel Crecy]_{6886-the sumptuous hotel crecy} ? That intercourse had , for an interval , been suspended by absence ; [M.]_{196-m. paul} and [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} had been travelling , dividing some weeks between [[the provinces]_{6887-the provinces} and capital of [France]_15-france]_{6888-the provinces and capital of france} . [Chance]_416-chance apprised [me]_0-i of [their]_6889-they return very shortly after it took place . [I]_0-i was walking one mild afternoon on [a quiet boulevard]_{6890-a quiet boulevard} , wandering slowly on , enjoying the benign April sun , and some thoughts not unpleasing , when [I]_0-i saw before [me]_0-i a group of [riders]_6891-riders , stopping as if [they]_6889-they had just encountered , and exchanging greetings in the midst of [the broad , smooth , linden - bordered path]_{6892-the broad , smooth , linden - bordered path} ; on one side a [middle - aged gentleman]_{6893-middle - aged gentleman} and [young lady]_{6894-young lady} , on the other - [a young and handsome man]_{6895-a young and handsome man} . Very graceful was [[the lady]_{554-the lady} 's mien]_{6897-the lady 's mien} , choice [her]_{554-the lady} appointments , delicate and stately [her]_{554-the lady} whole aspect . Still , as [I]_0-i looked , [I]_0-i felt [they]_6889-they were known to [me]_0-i , and , drawing a little nearer , [I]_0-i fully recognised [them]_6889-they all : the Count Home [de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} , [[his]_{6895-a young and handsome man} daughter]_{686-his daughter} , and [Dr. Graham Bretton]_135-graham . How animated was [Graham]_135-graham 's face ! How true , how warm , yet how retiring the joy it expressed ! This was the state of things , this the combination of circumstances , at once to attract and enchain , to subdue and excite [Dr. John]_135-graham . The pearl [he]_135-graham admired was in itself of great price and truest purity , but [he]_135-graham was not [the man who , in appreciating the gem , could forget its setting]_{6899-the man who , in appreciating the gem , could forget its setting} . Had [he]_135-graham seen [Paulina]_141-paulina with the same youth , beauty , and grace , but on foot , alone , unguarded , and in simple attire , [a dependent worker]_{6900-a dependent worker} , [a demi - grisette]_{6901-a demi - grisette} , [he]_135-graham would have thought [her]_141-paulina a pretty little creature , and would have loved with [his]_135-graham eye [her]_141-paulina movements and [her]_141-paulina mien , but it required other than this to conquer [him]_135-graham as [he]_135-graham was now vanquished , to bring [him]_135-graham safe under dominion as now , without loss , and even with gain to [his]_135-graham manly honour , [one]_607-one saw that [he]_135-graham was reduced ; there was about [Dr. John]_135-graham all [the man of [the world]_{811-the world}]_{2992-the man of the world} ; to satisfy [himself]_135-graham did not suffice ; [society]_6905-society must approve - [the world]_{811-the world} must admire what [he]_135-graham did , or [he]_135-graham counted [his]_135-graham measures false and futile . In [his]_135-graham victrix [he]_135-graham required all that was here visible - the imprint of high cultivation , the consecration of a careful and authoritative protection , the adjuncts that Fashion decrees , Wealth purchases , and Taste adjusts ; for these conditions [his]_135-graham spirit stipulated ere it surrendered : they were here to the utmost fulfilled ; and now , proud , impassioned , yet fearing , [he]_135-graham did homage to [Paulina]_141-paulina as [[his]_135-graham sovereign]_{6907-his sovereign} . As for [her]_141-paulina , the smile of feeling , rather than of conscious power , slept soft in [her]_141-paulina eyes . [They]_6908-they parted . [He]_135-graham passed [me]_0-i at speed , hardly feeling the earth [he]_135-graham skimmed , and seeing nothing on either hand . [He]_135-graham looked very handsome ; mettle and purpose were roused in [him]_135-graham fully . "_[0-i] [Papa]_140-papa , there is [Lucy]_142-lucy ! " cried a musical , friendly voice . "_[142-lucy] [Lucy]_142-lucy , dear [Lucy]_142-lucy - do come here ! " [I]_142-lucy hastened to [her]_141-paulina . [She]_141-paulina threw back [her]_141-paulina veil , and stooped from [her]_141-paulina saddle to kiss [me]_142-lucy . "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i was coming to see [you]_140-papa to - morrow , " said [she]_141-paulina ; "_[0-i] but now to - morrow [you]_140-papa will come and see [me]_0-i . " [She]_141-paulina named the hour , and [I]_142-lucy promised [compliance]_{417-compliance} . The morrow 's evening found [me]_142-lucy with [her]_141-paulina - [she]_141-paulina and [I]_142-lucy shut into [[her]_141-paulina own room]_{1035-her own room} . [I]_142-lucy had not seen [her]_141-paulina since that occasion when [her]_141-paulina claims were brought into comparison with those of [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , and had so signally prevailed ; [she]_141-paulina had much to tell [me]_142-lucy of [her]_141-paulina travels in the interval . [A most animated , rapid speaker]_{6910-a most animated , rapid speaker} was [she]_141-paulina in such a tete - a- tete , [a most lively describer]_{6911-a most lively describer} ; yet with [her]_141-paulina artless diction and clear soft voice , [she]_141-paulina never seemed to speak too fast or to say too much . [My]_142-lucy own attention [I]_142-lucy think would not soon have flagged , but by - and - by , [she]_141-paulina [herself]_141-paulina seemed to need some change of subject ; [she]_141-paulina hastened to wind up [her]_141-paulina narrative briefly . Yet why [she]_141-paulina terminated with so concise an abridgment did not immediately appear ; silence followed - a restless silence , not without symptoms of abstraction . Then , turning to [me]_142-lucy , in a diffident , half - appealing voice - "_[142-lucy] [Lucy]_142-lucy - " "_[142-lucy] Well , [I]_0-i am at [your]_142-lucy side . " "_[0-i] Is [[my]_0-i cousin]_{6238-my cousin} [Ginevra]_179-ginevra still at [[Madame Beck]_190-madame 's]_{972-madame beck 's} ? " "_{[179-ginevra]} [[Your]_0-i cousin]_{3317-your cousin} is still there ; [you]_0-i must be longing to see [her]_{3317-your cousin} . " "_{[179-ginevra]} No - not much . " "_{[179-ginevra]} [You]_0-i want to invite [her]_{3317-your cousin} to spend another evening ? " "_[0-i] No ... [I]_0-i suppose [she]_{3317-your cousin} still talks about being married ? " "_{[3317-your cousin]} Not to [any one [you]_0-i care for]_{3318-any one you care for} . " "_{[3317-your cousin]} But of course [she]_{3317-your cousin} still thinks of [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham ? [She]_{3317-your cousin} can not have changed [her]_{3317-your cousin} mind on that point , because it was so fixed two months ago . " "_{[3317-your cousin]} Why , [you]_0-i know , it does not matter . [You]_0-i saw the terms on which [they]_3319-they stood . " "_[0-i] There was a little misunderstanding that evening , certainly ; does [she]_{3317-your cousin} seem unhappy ? " "_{[3317-your cousin]} Not [she]_{3317-your cousin} . To change the subject . Have [you]_0-i heard or seen nothing of , or from . [Graham]_135-graham during [your]_0-i absence ? " "_[135-graham] [Papa]_140-papa had letters from [him]_140-papa once or twice about business , [I]_0-i think . [He]_140-papa undertook the management of some affair which required attention while [we]_3320-we were [away]_3321-away . [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham seems to respect [papa]_4218-papa , and to have pleasure in obliging [him]_140-papa . " "_[135-graham] Yes : [you]_0-i met [him]_140-papa yesterday on [the boulevard]_{986-the boulevard} ; [you]_0-i would be able to judge from [his]_140-papa aspect that [[his]_140-papa friends]_{706-his friends} need not be painfully anxious about [his]_140-papa health ? " "_[140-papa] [Papa]_140-papa seems to have thought with [you]_0-i . [I]_0-i could not help smiling . [He]_140-papa is not particularly observant , [you]_0-i know , because [he]_140-papa is often thinking of other things than what pass before [his]_140-papa eyes ; but [he]_140-papa said , as [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham rode away , ` Really it does [a man]<sub>823-a man</sub> good to see the spirit and energy of [that boy]<sub>3326-that boy</sub> . ' [He]<sub>140-papa</sub> called [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> [a boy]<sub>4374-a boy</sub> ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> believe [he]<sub>140-papa</sub> almost thinks [him]<sub>140-papa</sub> so , just as [he]<sub>140-papa</sub> thinks [me]<sub>0-i</sub> [a little girl]<sub>545-a little girl</sub> ; [he]<sub>140-papa</sub> was not speaking to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , but dropped that remark to [himself]<sub>140-papa</sub> . [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> .... " Again fell the appealing accent , and at the same instant [she]<sub>142-lucy</sub> left [her]<sub>142-lucy</sub> chair , and came and sat on the stool at [my]<sub>142-lucy</sub> feet . [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> liked [her]<sub>142-lucy</sub> . It is not a declaration [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> have often made concerning [my]<sub>142-lucy</sub> acquaintance , in the course of this book : [the reader]<sub>759-the reader</sub> will bear with it for once . Intimate intercourse , close inspection , disclosed in [Paulina]<sub>141-paulina</sub> only what was delicate , intelligent , and sincere ; therefore [my]<sub>142-lucy</sub> regard for [her]<sub>142-lucy</sub> lay deep . An admiration more superficial might have been more demonstrative ; [mine]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , however , was quiet . "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> What have [you]<sub>142-lucy</sub> to ask of [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> ? " said [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> ; "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> be brave , and speak out " But there was no courage in [her]<sub>142-lucy</sub> eye ; as it met [mine]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , it fell ; and there was no coolness on [her]<sub>142-lucy</sub> cheek - not a transient surface - blush , but a gathering inward excitement raised its tint and its temperature . "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> do wish to know [your]<sub>142-lucy</sub> thoughts of [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> . Do , do give [me]<sub>0-i</sub> [your]<sub>142-lucy</sub> real opinion of [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> character , [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> disposition . " "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [His]<sub>135-graham</sub> character stands high , and deservedly high . " "<sub>[135-graham]</sub> And [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> disposition ? Tell [me]<sub>0-i</sub> about [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> disposition , " [she]<sub>534-his mother</sub> urged ; "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [you]<sub>142-lucy</sub> know [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> well . " "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> know [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> pretty well . " "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [You]<sub>142-lucy</sub> know [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> home - side . [You]<sub>142-lucy</sub> have seen [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> with [[his]<sub>135-graham</sub> mother]<sub>534-his mother</sub> ; speak of [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> as [a son]<sub>3330-a son</sub> . " "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [He]<sub>135-graham</sub> is [a fine - hearted son]<sub>3331-a fine - hearted son</sub> ; [[his]<sub>135-graham</sub> mother]<sub>534-his mother</sub> 's comfort and hope , [her]<sub>534-his mother</sub> pride and pleasure . " [She]<sub>534-his mother</sub> held [my]<sub>3331-a fine - hearted son</sub> hand between [hers]<sub>534-his mother</sub> , and at each favourable word gave it a little caressing stroke . "<sub>[3331-a fine - hearted son]</sub> In what other way is [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> good , [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> ? " "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> is benevolent - humanely disposed towards [all [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> race]<sub>3333-all his race</sub> , [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> would have benignity for [the lowest savage]<sub>3334-the lowest savage</sub> , or [the worst criminal]<sub>3335-the worst criminal</sub> . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> heard [some gentlemen]<sub>6491-some gentlemen</sub> , [some of [[papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> 's friends]<sub>3339-papa 's friends</sub> , who were talking about [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> , say the same . [They]<sub>6491-some gentlemen</sub> say many of [the poor patients at [the hospitals]<sub>2007-the hospitals</sub> , who tremble before [some pitiless and selfish surgeons]<sub>3342-some pitiless and selfish surgeons</sub>]<sub>3340-the poor patients at the hospitals , who tremble before some pitiless and selfish surgeons</sub>]<sub>3337-some of papa 's friends , who were talking about him , say the same . they say many of the poor patients at the hospitals , who tremble before some pitiless and selfish surgeons</sub> , welcome [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> . " "<sub>[6491-some gentlemen]</sub> [They]<sub>6491-some gentlemen</sub> are right ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have witnessed as much . [He]<sub>135-graham</sub> once took [me]<sub>0-i</sub> over [a hospital]<sub>3343-a hospital</sub> ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> saw how [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> was received : [[[your]<sub>3344-she</sub> father]<sub>4386-your father</sub> 's friends]<sub>3346-your father 's friends</sub> are right . " The softest gratitude animated [her]<sub>3344-she</sub> eye as [she]<sub>3344-she</sub> lifted it a moment . [She]<sub>3344-she</sub> had yet more to say , but seemed hesitating about time and place . Dusk was beginning to reign ; [her]<sub>3344-she</sub> parlour fire already glowed with twilight ruddiness ; but [I]<sub>3346-your father 's friends</sub> thought [she]<sub>3344-she</sub> wished [the room]<sub>600-the room</sub> dimmer , the hour later . "<sub>[3346-your father 's friends]</sub> How quiet and secluded [we]<sub>3347-we</sub> feel [here]<sub>4212-here</sub> ! " [I]<sub>3347-we</sub> remarked , to reassure [her]<sub>3344-she</sub> . "<sub>[3347-we]</sub> Do [we]<sub>3347-we</sub> ? Yes ; it is a still evening , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> shall not be called down to tea ; [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> is dining out . " Still holding [my]<sub>4218-papa</sub> hand , [she]<sub>3344-she</sub> played with the fingers unconsciously , dressed them , now in [her]<sub>3344-she</sub> own rings , and now circled them with a twine of [her]<sub>3344-she</sub> beautiful hair ; [she]<sub>3344-she</sub> patted the palm against [her]<sub>3344-she</sub> hot cheek , and at last , having cleared a voice that was naturally liquid as a lark 's , [she]<sub>3344-she</sub> said : - "<sub>[4218-papa]</sub> [You]<sub>3350-you</sub> must think it rather strange that [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should talk so much about [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> , ask so many questions , take such an interest , but - " . "<sub>[135-graham]</sub> Not at all strange ; perfectly natural ; [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> like [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> . " "<sub>[3350-you]</sub> And if [I]<sub>0-i</sub> did , " said [she]<sub>3344-she</sub> , with slight quickness , "<sub>[3350-you]</sub> is that a reason why [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should talk ? [I]<sub>0-i</sub> suppose [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> think [me]<sub>0-i</sub> weak , like [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> cousin]<sub>6238-my cousin</sub> [Ginevra]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> ? " "<sub>[3350-you]</sub> If [I]<sub>0-i</sub> thought [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> one whit like [Madame Ginevra]<sub>418-madame ginevra</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> would not sit here waiting for [your]<sub>3350-you</sub> communications . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> would get up , walk at [my]<sub>0-i</sub> ease about [the room]<sub>600-the room</sub> , and anticipate all [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> had to say by a round lecture . Go on . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> mean to go on , " retorted [she]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> ; "<sub>[0-i]</sub> what else do [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> suppose [I]<sub>0-i</sub> mean to do ? " And [she]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> looked and spoke - the little Polly of [Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> - petulant , sensitive . "<sub>[3350-you]</sub> If , " said [she]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> , emphatically , "<sub>[3350-you]</sub> if [I]<sub>0-i</sub> liked [Dr. John]<sub>135-graham</sub> till [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was fit to die for liking [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> , that alone could not license [me]<sub>0-i</sub> to be otherwise than dumb - dumb as the grave - dumb as [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> , [Lucy Snowe]<sub>142-lucy</sub> - [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> know it - and [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> know [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> would despise [me]<sub>0-i</sub> if [I]<sub>0-i</sub> failed in self - control , and whined about some rickety liking that was all on [my]<sub>0-i</sub> side . " "<sub>[3350-you]</sub> It is true [I]<sub>0-i</sub> little respect [women]<sub>4398-women</sub> or [girls who are loquacious either in boasting the triumphs , or bemoaning the mortifications , of feelings]<sub>3354-girls who are loquacious either in boasting the triumphs , or bemoaning the mortifications , of feelings</sub> . But as to [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> , [Paulina]<sub>141-paulina</sub> , speak , for [I]<sub>0-i</sub> earnestly wish to hear [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> . Tell [me]<sub>0-i</sub> all it will give [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> pleasure or relief to tell : [I]<sub>0-i</sub> ask no more . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> Do [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> care for [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> ? " "<sub>[141-paulina]</sub> Yes , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> do , [Paulina]<sub>141-paulina</sub> . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> And [I]<sub>0-i</sub> love [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had an odd content in being with [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> even when [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was [a little , troublesome , disobedient girl]<sub>3355-a little , troublesome , disobedient girl</sub> ; it was charming to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> then to lavish on [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> [my]<sub>0-i</sub> naughtiness and whims . Now [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> are acceptable to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> like to talk with and trust [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> . So listen , [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> . " And [she]<sub>3350-you</sub> settled [herself]<sub>3350-you</sub> , resting against [my]<sub>142-lucy</sub> arm - resting gently , not with [honest Mistress Fanshawe]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> 's fatiguing and selfish weight . "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> A few minutes since [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> asked whether [we]<sub>3356-we</sub> had not heard from [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> during [our]<sub>3356-we</sub> absence , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> said there were two letters for [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> on business ; this was true , but [I]<sub>0-i</sub> did not tell [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> all . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [You]<sub>0-i</sub> evaded ? " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> shuffled and equivocated , [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> know . However , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am going to speak the truth now ; it is getting darker ; [one]<sub>607-one</sub> can talk at [one]<sub>607-one</sub> 's ease . [Papa]<sub>140-papa</sub> often lets [me]<sub>0-i</sub> open the letter - bag and give [him]<sub>140-papa</sub> out the contents . One morning , about three weeks ago , [you]<sub>3350-you</sub> do n't know how surprised [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was to find , amongst a dozen letters for [M. de Bassompierre]<sub>178-m. de bassompierre</sub> , a note addressed to [Miss de Bassompierre]<sub>348-miss de bassompierre</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> spied it at once , amidst all the rest ; the handwriting was not strange ; it attracted [me]<sub>0-i</sub> directly . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was going to say , ' [Papa]<sub>140-papa</sub> , here is another letter from [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> ; ' but the ' Miss ' struck [me]<sub>0-i</sub> mute . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> actually never received a letter from [a gentleman]<sub>629-a gentleman</sub> before . Ought [I]<sub>0-i</sub> to have shown it to [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> , and let [him]<sub>4218-papa</sub> open it and read it first ? [I]<sub>0-i</sub> could not for [my]<sub>0-i</sub> life , [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> know so well [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> 's ideas about [me]<sub>0-i</sub> : [he]<sub>4218-papa</sub> forgets [my]<sub>0-i</sub> age ; [he]<sub>4218-papa</sub> thinks [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am [a mere school - girl]<sub>3363-a mere school - girl</sub> ; [he]<sub>4218-papa</sub> is not aware that [other people]<sub>1151-other people</sub> see [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am grown up as tall as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> shall be ; so , with a curious mixture of feelings , some of them self - reproachful , and some so fluttering and strong , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> can not describe them , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> gave [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> [his]<sub>4218-papa</sub> twelve letters - [his]<sub>4218-papa</sub> herd of possessions - and kept back [my]<sub>0-i</sub> one , [my]<sub>0-i</sub> ewe - lamb . It lay in [my]<sub>0-i</sub> lap during breakfast , looking up at [me]<sub>0-i</sub> with an inexplicable meaning , making [me]<sub>0-i</sub> feel [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> a thing double - existent - [a child to [that dear papa]<sub>3367-that dear papa</sub>]<sub>3366-a child to that dear papa</sub> , but no more [a child to [myself]<sub>0-i</sub>]<sub>3368-a child to myself</sub> . After breakfast [I]<sub>0-i</sub> carried [my]<sub>0-i</sub> letter up - [stairs]<sub>593-stairs</sub> , and having secured [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> by turning the key in the door , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> began to study the outside of [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> treasure]<sub>3370-my treasure</sub> : it was some minutes before [I]<sub>0-i</sub> could get over the direction and penetrate the seal ; one does not take a strong place of this kind by instant storm - [one]<sub>607-one</sub> sits down awhile before it , as beleaguers say . [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> 's hand is like [himself]<sub>135-graham</sub> , [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , and so is [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> seal - all clear , firm , and rounded - no slovenly splash of wax - a full , solid , steady drop - a distinct impress ; no pointed turns harshly pricking the optic nerve , but a clean , mellow , pleasant manuscript , that soothes [you]<sub>142-lucy</sub> as [you]<sub>142-lucy</sub> read . It is like [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> face - just like the chiselling of [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> features : do [you]<sub>142-lucy</sub> know [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> autograph ? " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have seen it : go on . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> The seal was too beautiful to be broken , so [I]<sub>0-i</sub> cut it round with [my]<sub>0-i</sub> scissors . On the point of reading the letter at last , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> once more drew back voluntarily ; it was too soon yet to drink that draught - the sparkle in the cup was so beautiful - [I]<sub>0-i</sub> would watch it yet a minute . Then [I]<sub>0-i</sub> remembered all at once that [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had not said [my]<sub>0-i</sub> prayers that morning . Having heard [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> go down to breakfast a little earlier than usual , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had been afraid of keeping [him]<sub>4218-papa</sub> waiting , and had hastened to join [him]<sub>4218-papa</sub> as soon as dressed , thinking no harm to put off prayers till afterwards . [Some people]<sub>5153-some people</sub> would say [I]<sub>0-i</sub> ought to have served [God]<sub>164-god</sub> first and then [man]<sub>618-man</sub> ; but [I]<sub>0-i</sub> do n't think heaven could be jealous of anything [I]<sub>0-i</sub> might do for [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> believe [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am superstitious . A voice seemed now to say that another feeling than filial affection was in question - to urge [me]<sub>0-i</sub> to pray before [I]<sub>0-i</sub> dared to read what [I]<sub>0-i</sub> so longed to read - to deny [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> yet a moment , and remember first a great duty . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have had these impulses ever since [I]<sub>0-i</sub> can remember . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> put the letter down and said [my]<sub>0-i</sub> prayers , adding , at the end , a strong entreaty that whatever happened , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> might not be tempted or led to cause [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> any sorrow , and might never , in caring for [others]<sub>770-others</sub> , neglect [him]<sub>4218-papa</sub> . The very thought of such a possibility , so pierced [my]<sub>0-i</sub> heart that it made [me]<sub>0-i</sub> cry . But still , [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> felt that in time [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> would have to be taught the truth , managed , and induced to hear reason . " [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> read the letter . [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , life is said to be all disappointment . [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> was not disappointed . Ere [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> read , and while [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> read , [my]<sub>142-lucy</sub> heart did more than throb - it trembled fast - every quiver seemed like the pant of an animal athirst , laid down at a well and drinking ; and the well proved quite full , gloriously clear ; it rose up munificently of its own impulse ; [I]<sub>142-lucy</sub> saw the sun through its gush , and not a mote , [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , no moss , no insect , no atom in the thrice - refined golden gurgle . "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> Life , " [she]<sub>142-lucy</sub> went on , "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> is said to be full of pain to some . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have read biographies where [the wayfarer]<sub>3379-the wayfarer</sub> seemed to journey on from suffering to suffering ; where [Hope]<sub>186-hope</sub> flew before [him]<sub>3379-the wayfarer</sub> fast , never alighting so near , or lingering so long , as to give [his]<sub>3379-the wayfarer</sub> hand a chance of one realizing grasp . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have read of [those who sowed in tears , and whose harvest , so far from being reaped in joy , perished by untimely blight , or was borne off by sudden whirlwind]<sub>3380-those who sowed in tears , and whose harvest , so far from being reaped in joy , perished by untimely blight , or was borne off by sudden whirlwind</sub> ; and , alas ! some of these met the winter with empty garners , and died of utter want in the darkest and coldest of the year . " "<sub>[3381-their]</sub> Was it [their]<sub>3381-their</sub> fault , [Paulina]<sub>141-paulina</sub> , that [they]<sub>3381-their</sub> of whom [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> speak thus died ? " "<sub>[3381-their]</sub> Not always [their]<sub>3381-their</sub> fault . [Some of [them]<sub>3381-their</sub>]<sub>4841-some of them</sub> were [good endeavouring people]<sub>3383-good endeavouring people</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am not endeavouring , nor actively good , yet [God]<sub>164-god</sub> has caused [me]<sub>0-i</sub> to grow in sun , due moisture , and safe protection , sheltered , fostered , taught , by [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> dear father]<sub>3384-my dear father</sub> ; and now - now - another comes . [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> loves [me]<sub>0-i</sub> . " For some minutes [we]<sub>6914-we</sub> both paused on this climax . "<sub>[135-graham]</sub> Does [[your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> father]<sub>4386-your father</sub> know ? " [I]<sub>135-graham</sub> inquired , in a low voice . "<sub>[135-graham]</sub> [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> spoke with deep respect of [papa]<sub>4218-papa</sub> , but implied that [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> dared not approach that quarter as yet ; [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> must first prove [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> worth : [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> added that [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> must have some light respecting [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> and [my]<sub>0-i</sub> own feelings ere [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> ventured to risk a step in the matter elsewhere . " "<sub>[135-graham]</sub> How did [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> reply ? " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> replied briefly , but [I]<sub>0-i</sub> did not repulse [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> . Yet [I]<sub>0-i</sub> almost trembled for fear of making the answer too cordial : [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> 's tastes are so fastidious . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> wrote it three times - chastening and subduing the phrases at every rescript ; at last , having confected it till it seemed to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> to resemble a morsel of ice flavoured with ever so slight a zest of fruit or sugar , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> ventured to seal and despatch it . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> Excellent , [Paulina]<sub>141-paulina</sub> ! [Your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> instinct is fine ; [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> understand [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> . " "<sub>[135-graham]</sub> But how must [I]<sub>0-i</sub> manage about [papa]<sub>140-papa</sub> ? There [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am still in pain . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> Do not manage at all . Wait now . Only maintain no further correspondence till [[your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> father]<sub>4386-your father</sub> knows all , and gives [his]<sub>4386-your father</sub> sanction . " "<sub>[4386-your father]</sub> Will [he]<sub>4386-your father</sub> ever give it ? " "<sub>[4386-your father]</sub> Time will show . Wait . " "<sub>[135-graham]</sub> [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> wrote one other letter , deeply grateful for [my]<sub>0-i</sub> calm , brief note ; but [I]<sub>0-i</sub> anticipated [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> advice , by saying , that while [my]<sub>0-i</sub> sentiments continued the same , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> could not , without [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> fathers]<sub>3388-my fathers</sub> knowledge , write again . " "<sub>[141-paulina]</sub> [You]<sub>141-paulina</sub> acted as [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> ought to have done ; so [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> will feel : it will increase [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> pride in [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> , [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> love for [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> , if either be capable of increase . [Paulina]<sub>141-paulina</sub> , that gentle hoar - frost of [yours]<sub>141-paulina</sub> , surrounding so much pure , fine flame , is a priceless privilege of nature . " "<sub>[141-paulina]</sub> [You]<sub>141-paulina</sub> see [I]<sub>0-i</sub> feel [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> 's disposition , " said [she]<sub>141-paulina</sub> . "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> feel that no delicacy can be too exquisite for [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> treatment . " "<sub>[0-i]</sub> It is perfectly proved that [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> comprehend [him]<sub>135-graham</sub> , and then - whatever [Dr. Bretton]<sub>135-graham</sub> 's disposition , were [he]<sub>135-graham</sub> one who expected to be more nearly met - [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> would still act truthfully , openly , tenderly , with [[your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> father]<sub>4386-your father</sub> . " "<sub>[142-lucy]</sub> [Lucy]<sub>142-lucy</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> trust [I]<sub>0-i</sub> shall thus act always . Oh , it will be pain to wake [papa]<sub>140-papa</sub> from [his]<sub>140-papa</sub> dream , and tell [him]<sub>140-papa</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am no more [a little girl]<sub>545-a little girl</sub> ! " "<sub>[3391-her]</sub> Be in no hurry to do so , [Paulina]<sub>141-paulina</sub> . Leave the revelation to Time and [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> kind Fate . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> also have noticed the gentleness of [her]<sub>3391-her</sub> cares for [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> : doubt not [she]<sub>3391-her</sub> will benignantly order the circumstances , and fitly appoint the hour . Yes : [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have thought over [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> life just as [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> have [yourself]<sub>141-paulina</sub> thought it over ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have made comparisons like those to which [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> adverted . [We]<sub>3392-we</sub> know not the future , but the past has been propitious . " As [a child]<sub>4415-a child</sub> [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> feared for [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> ; nothing that has life was ever more susceptible than [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> nature in infancy : under harshness or neglect , neither [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> outward nor [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> inward self would have ripened to what they now are . Much pain , much fear , much struggle , would have troubled the very lines of [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> features , broken their regularity , would have harassed [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> nerves into the fever of habitual irritation [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> would have lost in health and cheerfulness , in grace and sweetness . [Providence]<sub>160-providence</sub> has protected and cultured [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> , not only for [your]<sub>141-paulina</sub> own sake , but [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> believe for [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> 's . [[His]<sub>135-graham</sub> star]<sub>6916-his star</sub> , too , was fortunate : to develop fully the best of [his]<sub>135-graham</sub> nature , [a companion like [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub>]<sub>6917-a companion like you</sub> was needed : there [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> are , ready . [You]<sub>141-paulina</sub> must be united . [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> knew it the first day [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> saw [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> together at [La Terrasse]<sub>73-la terrasse</sub> . In all that mutually concerns [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> and [Graham]<sub>135-graham</sub> there seems to [me]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> promise , plan , harmony . [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> do not think [the sunny youth of either]<sub>6918-the sunny youth of either</sub> will prove the forerunner of stormy age . [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> think it is deemed good that [you]<sub>141-paulina</sub> two should live in peace and be happy - not as [angels]<sub>6919-angels</sub> , but as [few]<sub>4401-few</sub> are happy amongst [mortals]<sub>3300-mortals</sub> . Some lives are thus blessed : it is [God]<sub>164-god</sub> 's will : it is the attesting trace and lingering evidence of [Eden]<sub>419-eden</sub> . Other lives run from the first another course . [Other travellers]<sub>6922-other travellers</sub> encounter weather fitful and gusty , wild and variable - breast adverse winds , are belated and overtaken by the early closing winter night . Neither can this happen without the sanction of [God]<sub>164-god</sub> ; and [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> know that , amidst [His]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> boundless works , is somewhere stored the secret of this last fate 's justice : [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> know that [His]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> treasures contain the proof as the promise of its mercy . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> CHAPTER XXXIII . [M. PAUL]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> KEEPS [HIS]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> PROMISE . On the first of May , [we]<sub>3393-we</sub> had all - i.e. [the twenty boarders]<sub>3394-the twenty boarders</sub> and [the four teachers]<sub>3395-the four teachers</sub> - notice to rise at five o'clock of the morning , to be dressed and ready by six , to put [ourselves]<sub>3393-we</sub> under the command of [M. le Professeur Emanuel]<sub>420-m. le professeur emanuel</sub> , who was to head [our]<sub>3393-we</sub> march forth from [Villette]<sub>3-villette</sub> , for it was on this day [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> proposed to fulfil [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> promise of taking [us]<sub>3393-we</sub> to breakfast in [the country]<sub>571-the country</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> , indeed , as [the reader]<sub>759-the reader</sub> may perhaps remember , had not had the honour of an invitation when this excursion was first projected - rather the contrary ; but on [my]<sub>0-i</sub> now making allusion to this fact , and wishing to know how it was to be , [my]<sub>0-i</sub> ear received a pull , of which [I]<sub>0-i</sub> did not venture to challenge the repetition by raising , further difficulties . " Je vous conseille de vous faire prier , "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> said [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , imperially menacing the other ear . One Napoleonic compliment , however , was enough , so [I]<sub>0-i</sub> made up [my]<sub>0-i</sub> mind to be of the party . The morning broke calm as summer , with singing of birds in [the garden]<sub>1165-the garden</sub> , and a light dew - mist that promised heat . [We]<sub>3393-we</sub> all said it would be warm , and [we]<sub>3393-we</sub> all felt pleasure in folding away heavy garments , and in assuming the attire suiting a sunny season . The clean fresh print dress , and the light straw bonnet , each made and trimmed as [the French workwoman]<sub>3399-the french workwoman</sub> alone can make and trim , so as to unite the utterly unpretending with the perfectly becoming , was the rule of costume . [Nobody]<sub>4256-nobody</sub> flaunted in faded silk ; [nobody]<sub>4256-nobody</sub> wore a second - hand best article . At six the bell rang merrily , and [we]<sub>3393-we</sub> poured down [the staircase]<sub>2466-the staircase</sub> , through [the carre]<sub>4820-the carre</sub> , along [the corridor]<sub>1349-the corridor</sub> , into [the vestibule]<sub>1004-the vestibule</sub> . There stood [[our]<sub>3393-we</sub> Professor]<sub>3175-our professor</sub> , wearing , not [his]<sub>3175-our professor</sub> savage - looking paletot and severe bonnet - grec , but a young - looking belted blouse and cheerful straw hat . [He]<sub>3175-our professor</sub> had for [us]<sub>3393-we</sub> all the kindest good - morrow , and most of [us]<sub>3393-we</sub> for [him]<sub>3175-our professor</sub> had a thanksgiving smile . [We]<sub>3393-we</sub> were marshalled in order and soon started . [The streets]<sub>983-the streets</sub> were yet quiet , and [the boulevards]<sub>5051-the boulevards</sub> were fresh and peaceful as [fields]<sub>802-fields</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> believe [we]<sub>3393-we</sub> were very happy as [we]<sub>3393-we</sub> walked along . [This chief of ours]<sub>3410-this chief of ours</sub> had the secret of giving a certain impetus to happiness when [he]<sub>3410-this chief of ours</sub> would ; just as , in an opposite mood , [he]<sub>3410-this chief of ours</sub> could give a thrill to fear . [He]<sub>3410-this chief of ours</sub> did not lead nor follow [us]<sub>3393-we</sub> , but walked along the line , giving a word to [every one]<sub>3411-every one</sub> , talking much to [[his]<sub>3410-this chief of ours</sub> favourites]<sub>3412-his favourites</sub> , and not wholly neglecting even those [he]<sub>3410-this chief of ours</sub> disliked . It was rather [my]<sub>0-i</sub> wish , for a reason [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had , to keep slightly aloof from notice , and being paired with [Ginevra Fanshawe]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> , bearing on [my]<sub>0-i</sub> arm the dear pressure of [that angel]<sub>3413-that angel</sub> 's not unsubstantial limb - [she]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> continued in excellent case , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> can assure [the reader]<sub>759-the reader</sub> it was no trifling business to bear the burden of [her]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> loveliness ; many a time in the course of that warm day [I]<sub>0-i</sub> wished to goodness there had been less of the charming commodity - however , having [her]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> , as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> said , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> tried to make [her]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> useful by interposing [her]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> always between [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> and [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , shifting [my]<sub>0-i</sub> place , according as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> heard [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> coming up to the right hand or the left . [My]<sub>0-i</sub> private motive for this manoeuvre might be traced to the circumstance of the new print dress [I]<sub>0-i</sub> wore , being pink in colour - a fact which , under [our]<sub>3415-our</sub> present convoy , made [me]<sub>0-i</sub> feel something as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have felt , when , clad in a shawl with a red border , necessitated to traverse [a meadow where pastured a bull]<sub>3416-a meadow where pastured a bull</sub> . For awhile , the shifting system , together with some modifications in the arrangement of a black silk scarf , answered [my]<sub>0-i</sub> purpose ; but , by- and - by , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> found out , that whether [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> came to this side or to that , [Miss Fanshawe]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> was still [[his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> neighbour]<sub>3054-his neighbour</sub> . The course of acquaintance between [Ginevra]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> and [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> had never run so smooth that [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> temper did not undergo a certain crisping process whenever [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> heard [her]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> English accent : nothing in [their]<sub>3415-our</sub> dispositions fitted ; they jarred if [they]<sub>3415-our</sub> came in contact ; [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> held [her]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> empty and affected ; [she]<sub>179-ginevra</sub> deemed [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> bearish , meddling , repellent . At last , when [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> had changed [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> place for about the sixth time , finding still the same untoward result to the experiment - [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> thrust [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> head forward , settled [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> eyes on [mine]<sub>3418-mine</sub> , and demanded with impatience , " Qu'est - ce que c'est ? Vous [me]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> jouez des tours ? "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> The words were hardly out of [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> mouth , however , ere , with [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> customary quickness , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> seized the root of this proceeding : in vain [I]<sub>0-i</sub> shook out the long fringe , and spread forth the broad end of [my]<sub>0-i</sub> scarf . " A - h - h ! c'est la robe rose ! "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> broke from [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> lips , affecting [me]<sub>0-i</sub> very much like the sudden and irate low of [some lord of [the meadow]<sub>3420-the meadow</sub>]<sub>3419-some lord of the meadow</sub> . " It is only cotton , "<sub>[0-i]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> alleged , hurriedly ; " and cheaper , and washes better than any other colour . "<sub>[0-i]</sub> " Et Mademoiselle Lucy est coquette comme dix [Parisiennes]<sub>102-parisiennes</sub> , "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> answered . " A - t - on jamais vu une Anglaise pareille . Regardez plutot son chapeau , et ses gants , et ses brodequins ! "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> These articles of dress were just like what [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> companions]<sub>3421-my companions</sub> wore ; certainly not one whit smarter - perhaps rather plainer than most - but [Monsieur]<sub>3422-monsieur</sub> had now got hold of [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> text , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> began to chafe under the expected sermon . It went off , however , as mildly as the menace of a storm sometimes passes on a summer day . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> got but one flash of sheet lightning in the shape of a single bantering smile from [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> eyes ; and then [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> said , " Courage ! - a vrai dire je ne suis pas fache , peut - etre meme suis je content qu'on s'est fait si belle pour ma petite fete . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " Mais ma robe n'est pas belle , [Monsieur]<sub>1465-monsieur</sub> - elle n'est que propre . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " J'aime la proprete , "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> said [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> . In short , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> was not to be dissatisfied ; the sun of good humour was to triumph on this auspicious morning ; it consumed scudding clouds ere they sullied its disk . And now [we]<sub>3423-we</sub> were in [the country]<sub>571-the country</sub> , amongst what [they]<sub>3425-they</sub> called " les bois et [les petits sentiers]<sub>6924-les petits sentiers</sub> . "<sub>[3425-they]</sub> [These woods]<sub>3426-these woods</sub> and lanes a month later would offer but a dusty and doubtful seclusion : now , however , in [their]<sub>3425-they</sub> May greenness and morning repose , they looked very pleasant . [We]<sub>3423-we</sub> reached a certain well , planted round , in [the taste of [Labassecour]<sub>48-labassecour</sub>]<sub>3427-the taste of labassecour</sub> , with an orderly circle of lime - trees : here a halt was called ; on the green swell of ground surrounding [this well]<sub>3428-this well</sub> , [we]<sub>3423-we</sub> were ordered to be seated , [Monsieur]<sub>3429-monsieur</sub> taking [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> place in [our]<sub>3423-we</sub> midst , and suffering [us]<sub>3423-we</sub> to gather in a knot round [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> . [Those who liked [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> more than [they]<sub>3430-those who liked him more than they feared</sub> feared]<sub>3430-those who liked him more than they feared</sub> , came close , and these were chiefly [little ones]<sub>3431-little ones</sub> ; [those who feared more than [they]<sub>3432-those who feared more than they liked</sub> liked]<sub>3432-those who feared more than they liked</sub> , kept somewhat aloof ; [those in whom much affection had given , even to what remained of fear , a pleasurable zest]<sub>3433-those in whom much affection had given , even to what remained of fear , a pleasurable zest</sub> , observed the greatest distance . [He]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> began to tell [us]<sub>3423-we</sub> a story . Well could [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> narrate : in such a diction as [children]<sub>4815-children</sub> love , and [learned men]<sub>3435-learned men</sub> emulate ; a diction simple in its strength , and strong in its simplicity . There were beautiful touches in that little tale ; sweet glimpses of feeling and hues of description that , while [I]<sub>0-i</sub> listened , sunk into [my]<sub>0-i</sub> mind , and since have never faded . [He]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> tinted a twilight scene - [I]<sub>0-i</sub> hold it in memory still - such a picture [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have never looked on from [artist]<sub>3436-artist</sub> 's pencil . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have said , that , for [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had [no impromptu faculty]<sub>3437-no impromptu faculty</sub> ; and perhaps that very deficiency made [me]<sub>0-i</sub> marvel the more at [one who possessed it in perfection]<sub>3438-one who possessed it in perfection</sub> . [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> was not [a man to write books]<sub>3439-a man to write books</sub> ; but [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have heard [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> lavish , with careless , unconscious prodigality , such mental wealth as books seldom boast ; [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> mind was indeed [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> library]<sub>3440-my library</sub> , and whenever it was opened to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> entered bliss . Intellectually imperfect as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> could read little ; there were few bound and printed volumes that did not weary [me]<sub>0-i</sub> - whose perusal did not fag and blind - but [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> tomes of thought were collyrium to the spirit 's eyes ; over their contents , inward sight grew clear and strong . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> used to think what a delight it would be for one who loved [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> better than [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> loved [himself]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , to gather and store up those handfuls of gold - dust , so recklessly flung to heaven 's reckless winds . [His]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> story done , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> approached [the little knoll where [I]<sub>0-i</sub> and [Ginevra]<sub>179-ginevra</sub>]<sub>3441-the little knoll where i and ginevra</sub> sat apart . In [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> usual mode of demanding an opinion [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> had not reticence to wait till it was voluntarily offered [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> asked , " Were [you]<sub>0-i</sub> interested ? "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> According to [my]<sub>0-i</sub> wonted undemonstrative fashion , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> simply answered - " Yes . "<sub>[0-i]</sub> " Was it good ? "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " Very good . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " Yet [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> could not write that down , "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> said [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> . " Why not , [Monsieur]<sub>6925-monsieur</sub> ? "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> hate the mechanical labour ; [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> hate to stoop and sit still . [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> could dictate it , though , with pleasure , to [an amanuensis who suited [me]<sub>196-m. paul</sub>]<sub>6926-an amanuensis who suited me</sub> . Would [Mademoiselle Lucy]<sub>333-lucy</sub> write for [me]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> if [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> asked [her]<sub>333-lucy</sub> ? "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " [Monsieur]<sub>6927-monsieur</sub> would be too quick ; [he]<sub>6927-monsieur</sub> would urge [me]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , and be angry if [my]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> pen did not keep pace with [his]<sub>6927-monsieur</sub> lips . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " Try some day ; let [us]<sub>6928-us</sub> see the monster [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> can make of [myself]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> under the circumstances . But just now , there is no question of dictation ; [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> mean to make [you]<sub>6925-monsieur</sub> useful in [another office]<sub>6929-another office</sub> . Do [you]<sub>6925-monsieur</sub> see [yonder farm - house]<sub>6930-yonder farm - house</sub> ? "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> " Surrounded with trees ? Yes . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> . " There [we]<sub>3444-we</sub> are to breakfast ; and while [the good fermiere]<sub>6931-the good fermiere</sub> makes [the cafe au lait]<sub>6932-the cafe au lait</sub> in a caldron , [you]<sub>6925-monsieur</sub> and [five others , whom [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> shall select]<sub>6933-five others , whom i shall select</sub> , will spread with butter half a hundred rolls . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> Having formed [[his]<sub>3442-he</sub> troop]<sub>3443-his troop</sub> into line once more , [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> marched [us]<sub>3444-we</sub> straight on [the farm]<sub>3445-the farm</sub> , which , on seeing [our]<sub>3444-we</sub> force , surrendered without capitulation . Clean knives and plates , and fresh butter being provided , half - a - dozen of [us]<sub>3444-we</sub> , chosen by [[our]<sub>3444-we</sub> Professor]<sub>3175-our professor</sub> , set to work under [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> directions , to prepare for breakfast a huge basket of rolls , with which [the baker]<sub>3447-the baker</sub> had been ordered to provision [the farm]<sub>3445-the farm</sub> , in anticipation of [our]<sub>3444-we</sub> coming . Coffee and chocolate were already made hot ; cream and new - laid eggs were added to the treat , and [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , always generous , would have given a large order for " jambon "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> and " confitures "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> in addition , but that [some of [us]<sub>3444-we</sub> , who presumed perhaps upon [our]<sub>3444-we</sub> influence]<sub>3449-some of us , who presumed perhaps upon our influence</sub> , insisted that it would be a most reckless waste of victual . [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> railed at [us]<sub>3444-we</sub> for [our]<sub>3444-we</sub> pains , terming [us]<sub>3444-we</sub> " des menageres avares ; "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> but [we]<sub>3444-we</sub> let [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> talk , and managed the economy of the repast [our]<sub>3444-we</sub> own way . With what a pleasant countenance [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> stood on [the farm]<sub>3445-the farm</sub> - kitchen hearth looking on ! [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> was [a man whom it made happy to see [others]<sub>770-others</sub>]<sub>3451-a man whom it made happy to see others</sub> happy ; [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> liked to have movement , animation , abundance and enjoyment round [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> . [We]<sub>3444-we</sub> asked where [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> would sit . [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> told [us]<sub>3444-we</sub> , [we]<sub>3444-we</sub> knew well [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> was [[our]<sub>3444-we</sub> slave]<sub>3453-our slave</sub> , and [we]<sub>3444-we</sub> [[his]<sub>3442-he</sub> tyrants]<sub>3454-his tyrants</sub> , and that [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> dared not so much as choose a chair without [our]<sub>3444-we</sub> leave ; so [we]<sub>3444-we</sub> set [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> [the farmer]<sub>3455-the farmer</sub> 's great chair at the head of the long table , and put [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> into [it]<sub>3456-it</sub> . Well might [we]<sub>3444-we</sub> like [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> , with all [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> passions and hurricanes , when [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> could be so benignant and docile at times , as [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> was just now . Indeed , at the worst , it was only [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> nerves that were irritable , not [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> temper that was radically bad ; soothe , comprehend , comfort [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> , and [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> was [a lamb]<sub>3457-a lamb</sub> ; [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> would not harm a fly . Only to the very stupid , perverse , or unsympathizing , was [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> in the slightest degree dangerous . Mindful always of [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> religion , [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> made [the youngest of the party]<sub>3458-the youngest of the party</sub> say a little prayer before [we]<sub>3444-we</sub> began breakfast , crossing [himself]<sub>3442-he</sub> as devotedly as [a woman]<sub>4363-a woman</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had never seen [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> pray before , or make that pious sign ; [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> did it so simply , with such child - like faith , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> could not help smiling pleasurably as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> watched ; [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> eyes met [my]<sub>0-i</sub> smile ; [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> just stretched out [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> kind hand , saying , " Donnez - moi la main ! [I]<sub>3442-he</sub> see [we]<sub>6934-we</sub> worship [the same God]<sub>6935-the same god</sub> , in the same spirit , though by different rites . "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> Most of [[M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> 's brother]<sub>3460-m. emanuel 's brother</sub> Professors were [emancipated free- thinkers]<sub>3461-emancipated free- thinkers</sub> , [infidels]<sub>3462-infidels</sub> , [atheists]<sub>3463-atheists</sub> ; and many of [them]<sub>3461-emancipated free- thinkers</sub> [men whose lives would not bear scrutiny]<sub>3464-men whose lives would not bear scrutiny</sub> ; [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> was more like [a knight of old]<sub>3465-a knight of old</sub> , religious in [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> way , and of spotless fame . Innocent childhood , [beautiful youth]<sub>3466-beautiful youth</sub> were safe at [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> side . [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> had vivid passions , keen feelings , but [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> pure honour and [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> artless piety were the strong charm that kept [the lions couchant]<sub>3467-the lions couchant</sub> . That breakfast was a merry meal , and the merriment was not mere vacant clatter : [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> originated , led , controlled and heightened it ; [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> social , lively temper played unfettered and unclouded ; surrounded only by [women]<sub>4398-women</sub> and [children]<sub>4815-children</sub> there was nothing to cross and thwart [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> ; [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> had [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> own way , and a pleasant way it was . The meal over , [the party]<sub>3470-the party</sub> were free to run and play in [the meadows]<sub>3471-the meadows</sub> ; [a few]<sub>3472-a few</sub> stayed to help [[the farmer]<sub>3455-the farmer</sub> 's wife]<sub>3474-the farmer 's wife</sub> to put away [her]<sub>3474-the farmer 's wife</sub> earthenware . M. [Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> called [me]<sub>0-i</sub> from among these to come out and sit near [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> under a tree - whence [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> could view [the troop gambolling]<sub>3475-the troop gambolling</sub> , over [a wide pasture]<sub>3476-a wide pasture</sub> - and read to [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> whilst [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> took [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> cigar . [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> sat on a rustic bench , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> at the tree - root . While [I]<sub>0-i</sub> read a pocket - classic - a [Corneille]<sub>421-corneille</sub> - [I]<sub>0-i</sub> did not like it , but [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> did , finding therein beauties [I]<sub>0-i</sub> never could be brought to perceive , [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> listened with a sweetness of calm the more impressive from the impetuosity of [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> general nature ; the deepest happiness filled [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> blue eye and smoothed [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> broad forehead . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> , too , was happy - happy with the bright day , happier with [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> presence , happiest with [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> kindness . [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> asked , by - and - by , if [I]<sub>0-i</sub> would not rather run to [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> companions]<sub>3421-my companions</sub> than sit there ? [I]<sub>0-i</sub> said , no ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> felt content to be where [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> was . [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> asked whether , if [I]<sub>0-i</sub> were [[his]<sub>3442-he</sub> sister]<sub>3478-his sister</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should always [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> content to stay with [a brother such as [he]<sub>3442-he</sub>]<sub>3479-a brother such as he</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> said , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> believed [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should ; and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> felt it . Again , [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> inquired whether , if [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> were to leave [Villette]<sub>3-villette</sub> , and go far away , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should be sorry ; and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> dropped [Corneille]<sub>421-corneille</sub> , and made no reply . " [Petite soeur]<sub>422-petite soeur</sub> , "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> said [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> ; " how long could [you]<sub>422-petite soeur</sub> remember [me]<sub>3442-he</sub> if [we]<sub>6936-we</sub> were separated ? "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> " That , [Monsieur]<sub>6937-monsieur</sub> , [I]<sub>3442-he</sub> can never tell , because [I]<sub>3442-he</sub> do not know how long it will be before [I]<sub>3442-he</sub> shall cease to remember everything earthly . "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> " If [I]<sub>3442-he</sub> were to go beyond [seas]<sub>6938-seas</sub> for two - three - five years , should [you]<sub>6937-monsieur</sub> welcome [me]<sub>3442-he</sub> on [my]<sub>3442-he</sub> return ? "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> " [Monsieur]<sub>1465-monsieur</sub> , how could [I]<sub>3442-he</sub> live in the interval ? "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> " Pourtant j'ai ete pour vous bien dur , bien exigeant . "<sub>[3442-he]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> hid [my]<sub>0-i</sub> face with the book , for it was covered with tears . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> asked [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> why [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> talked so ; and [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> said [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> would talk so no more , and cheered [me]<sub>0-i</sub> again with the kindest encouragement . Still , the gentleness with which [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> treated [me]<sub>0-i</sub> during the rest of the day , went somehow to [my]<sub>0-i</sub> heart . It was too tender . It was mournful . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> would rather [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> had been abrupt , whimsical , and irate as was [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> wo nt . When hot noon arrived - for the day turned out as [we]<sub>3480-we</sub> had anticipated , glowing as [June]<sub>423-june</sub> - [[our]<sub>3480-we</sub> shepherd]<sub>3481-our shepherd</sub> collected [his]<sub>3481-our shepherd</sub> sheep from [the pasture]<sub>3482-the pasture</sub> , and proceeded to lead [us]<sub>3480-we</sub> all softly [home]<sub>542-home</sub> . But [we]<sub>3480-we</sub> had a whole league to walk , thus far from [Villette]<sub>3-villette</sub> was [the farm where [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> had breakfasted]<sub>3484-the farm where he had breakfasted</sub> ; [the children]<sub>1111-the children</sub> , especially , were tired with [their]<sub>1111-the children</sub> play ; the spirits of most flagged at the prospect of this mid - day walk over chaussees flinty , glaring , and dusty . This state of things had been foreseen and provided for . Just beyond the boundary of [the farm]<sub>3445-the farm</sub> [we]<sub>3480-we</sub> met [two spacious vehicles coming to fetch [us]<sub>3480-we</sub>]<sub>3487-two spacious vehicles coming to fetch us</sub> - such conveyances as are hired out purposely for the accommodation of school - parties ; here , with good management , room was found for all , and in another hour [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> made safe consignment of [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> charge at [the Rue Fossette]<sub>4917-the rue fossette</sub> . It had been a pleasant day : it would have been perfect , but for the breathing of melancholy which had dimmed its sunshine a moment . That tarnish was renewed the same evening . Just about sunset , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> saw [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> come out of the front - door , accompanied by [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> . [They]<sub>3489-they</sub> paced [the centre - alley]<sub>3490-the centre - alley</sub> for nearly an hour , talking earnestly : [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> - looking grave , yet restless ; [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> - wearing an amazed , expostulatory , dissuasive air . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> wondered what was under discussion ; and when [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> re - entered [the house]<sub>518-the house</sub> as [it]<sub>518-the house</sub> darkened , leaving [[her]<sub>190-madame</sub> kinsman]<sub>2823-her kinsman</sub> [Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> yet lingering in [the garden]<sub>1165-the garden</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> said to [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> - " [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> called [me]<sub>0-i</sub> ' petite soeur ' this morning . If [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> were really [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> brother]<sub>1383-my brother</sub> , how [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should like to go to [him]<sub>3442-he</sub> just now , and ask what it is that presses on [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> mind . See how [he]<sub>3442-he</sub> leans against that tree , with [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> arms crossed and [his]<sub>3442-he</sub> brow bent . [He]<sub>3442-he</sub> wants consolation , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> know : [Madame]<sub>190-madame</sub> does not console : [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> only remonstrates . What now - - ? "<sub>[0-i]</sub> Starting from quiescence to action , [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> came striding erect and quick down [the garden]<sub>1165-the garden</sub> . The carre doors were yet open : [I]<sub>0-i</sub> thought [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> was probably going to water the orange - trees in the tubs , after [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> occasional custom ; on reaching [the court]<sub>1612-the court</sub> , however , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> took an abrupt turn and made for the berceau and the first - classe glass door . There , in that first classe [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was , thence [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had been watching [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> ; but there [I]<sub>0-i</sub> could not find courage to await [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> approach . [He]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> had turned so suddenly , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> strode so fast , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> looked so strange ; [the coward within [me]<sub>0-i</sub>]<sub>3496-the coward within me</sub> grew pale , shrank and - not waiting to listen to reason , and hearing the shrubs crush and the gravel crunch to [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> advance - [she]<sub>3496-the coward within me</sub> was gone on the wings of panic . Nor did [I]<sub>0-i</sub> pause till [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had taken sanctuary in [the oratory]<sub>1021-the oratory</sub> , now empty . Listening there with beating pulses , and an unaccountable , undefined apprehension , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> heard [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> pass through all [the schoolrooms]<sub>1532-the schoolrooms</sub> , clashing the doors impatiently as [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> went ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> heard [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> invade [the refectory]<sub>5110-the refectory</sub> which the " lecture pieuse "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> was now holding under hallowed constraint ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> heard [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> pronounce these words - " Ou est Mademoiselle Lucie ? "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> And just as , summoning [my]<sub>0-i</sub> courage , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was preparing to go down and do what , after all , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> most wished to do in [the world]<sub>811-the world</sub> - viz . , meet [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> - the wiry voice of [St. Pierre]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> replied glibly and falsely , " Elle est au lit . "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> And [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> passed , with the stamp of vexation , into [the corridor]<sub>1349-the corridor</sub> . There [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> met , captured , chid , convoyed to [the street]<sub>623-the street</sub> - door , and finally dismissed [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> . As [that street]<sub>3503-that street</sub> - door closed , a sudden amazement at [my]<sub>0-i</sub> own perverse proceeding struck like a blow upon [me]<sub>0-i</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> felt from the first it was [me]<sub>0-i</sub> [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> wanted - [me]<sub>0-i</sub> [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> was seeking - and had not [I]<sub>0-i</sub> wanted [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> too ? What , then , had carried [me]<sub>0-i</sub> away ? What had rapt [me]<sub>0-i</sub> beyond [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> reach ? [He]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> had something to tell : [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> was going to tell [me]<sub>0-i</sub> that something : [my]<sub>0-i</sub> ear strained its nerve to hear it , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had made the confidence impossible . Yearning to listen and console , while [I]<sub>0-i</sub> thought audience and solace beyond hope 's reach - no sooner did opportunity suddenly and fully arrive , than [I]<sub>0-i</sub> evaded it as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> would have evaded the levelled shaft of mortality . Well , [my]<sub>0-i</sub> insane inconsistency had its reward . Instead of the comfort , the certain satisfaction , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> might have won - could [I]<sub>0-i</sub> but have put choking panic down , and stood firm two minutes - here was dead blank , dark doubt , and drear suspense . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> took [my]<sub>0-i</sub> wages to [my]<sub>0-i</sub> pillow , and passed the night counting them . CHAPTER XXXIV . MALEVOLA . [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> called [me]<sub>0-i</sub> on Thursday afternoon , and asked whether [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had any occupation to hinder [me]<sub>0-i</sub> from going into [town]<sub>4930-town</sub> and executing some little commissions for [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> at [the shops]<sub>2128-the shops</sub> . Being disengaged , and placing [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> at [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> service , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was presently furnished with a list of the wools , silks , embroidering thread , etcetera , wanted in [the pupils]<sub>1102-the pupils</sub> ' work , and having equipped [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> in a manner suiting the threatening aspect of a cloudy and sultry day , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was just drawing the spring - bolt of [the street]<sub>623-the street</sub> - door , in act to issue forth , when [Madame]<sub>190-madame</sub> 's voice again summoned [me]<sub>0-i</sub> to [the salle -]<sub>1200-the salle -</sub> [a - manger]<sub>6152-a - manger</sub> . " Pardon , [Meess Lucie]<sub>187-meess lucie</sub> ! "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> cried [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> , in the seeming haste of an impromptu thought , " [I]<sub>190-madame</sub> have just recollected one more errand for [you]<sub>0-i</sub> , if [your]<sub>0-i</sub> good - nature will not deem itself over - burdened ? "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> Of course [I]<sub>0-i</sub> " confounded [myself]<sub>190-madame</sub> "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> in asseverations to the contrary ; and [Madame]<sub>190-madame</sub> , running into [the little salon]<sub>6025-the little salon</sub> , brought thence a pretty basket , filled with fine hothouse fruit , rosy , perfect , and tempting , reposing amongst the dark green , wax - like leaves , and pale yellow stars of , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> know not what , exotic plant . " There , "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> said , " it is not heavy , and will not shame [your]<sub>0-i</sub> neat toilette , as if it were a household , [servant - like detail]<sub>6941-servant - like detail</sub> . Do [me]<sub>190-madame</sub> the favour to leave this little basket at [the house of [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub>]<sub>6942-the house of madame walravens</sub> , with [my]<sub>190-madame</sub> felicitations on [her]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> fete . [She]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> lives down in [the old town]<sub>6943-the old town</sub> , [Numero 3]<sub>62-numero 10</sub> , [Rue des Mages]<sub>6944-rue des mages</sub> . [I]<sub>190-madame</sub> fear [you]<sub>0-i</sub> will find the walk rather long , but [you]<sub>0-i</sub> have the whole afternoon before [you]<sub>0-i</sub> , and do not hurry ; if [you]<sub>0-i</sub> are not back in time for dinner , [I]<sub>190-madame</sub> will order a portion to be saved , or [Goton]<sub>276-goton</sub> , with whom [you]<sub>0-i</sub> are a favourite , will have pleasure in tossing up some trifle , for [your]<sub>0-i</sub> especial benefit . [You]<sub>0-i</sub> shall not be forgotten , ma bonne Meess . And oh ! please ! "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> calling [me]<sub>0-i</sub> back once more " be sure to insist on seeing [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> [herself]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> , and giving the basket into [her]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> own hands , in order that there may be no mistake , for [she]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> is rather [a punctilious personage]<sub>6945-a punctilious personage</sub> . Adieu ! Au revoir ! "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> And at last [I]<sub>0-i</sub> got away . [The shop]<sub>3511-the shop</sub> commissions took some time to execute , that choosing and matching of silks and wools being always a tedious business , but at last [I]<sub>0-i</sub> got through [my]<sub>0-i</sub> list . The patterns for the slippers , the bell - ropes , the cabas were selected - the slides and tassels for the purses chosen - the whole " tripotage , "<sub>[0-i]</sub> in short , was off [my]<sub>0-i</sub> mind ; nothing but the fruit and the felicitations remained to be attended to . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> rather liked the prospect of a long walk , deep into the old and grim [Basse - Ville]<sub>74-the basse - ville</sub> ; and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> liked it no worse because the evening sky , over [the city]<sub>4429-the city</sub> , was settling into a mass of black - blue metal , heated at the rim , and inflaming slowly to a heavy red . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> fear a high wind , because storm demands that exertion of strength and use of action [I]<sub>0-i</sub> always yield with pain ; but the sullen down - fall , the thick snow - descent , or dark rush of rain , ask only resignation - the quiet abandonment of garments and [person]<sub>3513-person</sub> to be , drenched . In return , it sweeps a great capital clean before [you]<sub>3514-you</sub> ; it makes [you]<sub>3514-you</sub> a quiet path through [broad , grand streets]<sub>3515-broad , grand streets</sub> ; it petrifies [a living city]<sub>3516-a living city</sub> as if by eastern enchantment ; it transforms [a Villette]<sub>3517-a villette</sub> into [a Tadmor]<sub>3518-a tadmor</sub> . Let , then , the rains fall , and the floods descend - only [I]<sub>0-i</sub> must first get rid of this basket of fruit . An unknown clock from [an unknown tower]<sub>3519-an unknown tower</sub> [Jean Baptiste]<sub>240-jean baptiste</sub> 's voice was now too distant to be audible was tolling the third quarter past five , when [I]<sub>0-i</sub> reached [that street]<sub>3503-that street</sub> and house whereof [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> had given [me]<sub>0-i</sub> the address . It was [no street]<sub>3521-no street</sub> at all ; [it]<sub>3522-it</sub> seemed rather to be part of [a square]<sub>3523-a square</sub> : [it]<sub>3522-it</sub> was quiet , grass grew between the broad grey flags , [the houses]<sub>3524-the houses</sub> were large and looked very old - behind [them]<sub>3524-the houses</sub> rose the appearance of trees , indicating [gardens at the back]<sub>3525-gardens at the back</sub> . [Antiquity]<sub>425-antiquity</sub> brooded above [this region]<sub>3526-this region</sub> , business was banished thence . [Rich men]<sub>3527-rich men</sub> had once possessed [this quarter]<sub>1398-this quarter</sub> , and once grandeur had made [her]<sub>3529-her</sub> seat [here]<sub>4212-here</sub> . [That church]<sub>3531-that church</sub> , whose dark , half - ruinous turrets overlooked [the square]<sub>3532-the square</sub> , was [the venerable and formerly opulent shrine of [the Magi]<sub>3534-the magi</sub>]<sub>3533-the venerable and formerly opulent shrine of the magi</sub> . But wealth and greatness had long since stretched [their]<sub>3535-their</sub> gilded pinions and fled hence , leaving [these]<sub>2185-these</sub> [[their]<sub>3535-their</sub> ancient nests]<sub>3537-their ancient nests</sub> , perhaps to [house Penury]<sub>3538-house penury</sub> for a time , or perhaps to stand cold and empty , mouldering untenanted in the course of winters . As [I]<sub>0-i</sub> crossed [this deserted " place]<sub>6946-this deserted " place</sub> , "<sub>[0-i]</sub> on whose pavement drops almost as large as a five - franc piece were now slowly darkening , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> saw , in [its]<sub>3539-its</sub> whole expanse , no symptom or evidence of life , except what was given in the figure of [an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay]<sub>3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay</sub> . [He]<sub>3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay</sub> had issued from [the very house to which [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was directed]<sub>3541-the very house to which i was directed</sub> ; and when [I]<sub>0-i</sub> paused before the door just closed after [him]<sub>3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay</sub> , and rang the bell , [he]<sub>3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay</sub> turned to look at [me]<sub>0-i</sub> . Nor did [he]<sub>3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay</sub> soon avert [his]<sub>3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay</sub> gaze ; perhaps [he]<sub>3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay</sub> thought [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , with [my]<sub>0-i</sub> basket of summer fruit , and [my]<sub>0-i</sub> lack of the dignity age confers , [an incongruous figure in such a scene]<sub>3542-an incongruous figure in such a scene</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> know , had [a young ruddy - faced bonne]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> opened the door to admit [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should have thought such a one little in harmony with [[her]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> dwelling]<sub>3544-her dwelling</sub> ; but , when [I]<sub>0-i</sub> found [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> confronted by [a very old woman , wearing a very antique peasant costume , a cap alike hideous and costly , with long flaps of native lace , a petticoat and jacket of cloth , and sabots more like little boats]<sub>3545-a very old woman , wearing a very antique peasant costume , a cap alike hideous and costly , with long flaps of native lace , a petticoat and jacket of cloth , and sabots more like little boats</sub> than shoes , it seemed all right , and soothingly in character . The expression of [her]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> face was not quite so soothing as the cut of [her]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> costume ; anything more cantankerous [I]<sub>0-i</sub> have seldom seen ; [she]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> would scarcely reply to [my]<sub>0-i</sub> inquiry after [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> believe [she]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> would have snatched the basket of fruit from [my]<sub>0-i</sub> hand , had not [the old priest]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> , hobbling up , checked [her]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> , and [himself]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> lent an ear to the message with which [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was charged . [His]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> apparent deafness rendered it a little difficult to make [him]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> fully understand that [I]<sub>0-i</sub> must see [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> , and consign the fruit into [her]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> own hands . At last , however , [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> comprehended the fact that such were [my]<sub>0-i</sub> orders , and that duty enjoined their literal fulfilment . Addressing [the aged bonne]<sub>3547-the aged bonne</sub> , not in French , but in the aboriginal tongue of [Labassecour]<sub>304-prince of labassecour</sub> , [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> persuaded [her]<sub>3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne</sub> , at last , to let [me]<sub>0-i</sub> cross the inhospitable threshold , and [himself]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> escorting [me]<sub>0-i</sub> up - [stairs]<sub>593-stairs</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was ushered into a sort of salon , and there left . [The room]<sub>600-the room</sub> was large , and had a fine old ceiling , and almost church - like windows of coloured - glass ; but [it]<sub>600-the room</sub> was desolate , and in the shadow of a coming storm , looked strangely lowering . Within - opened [a smaller room]<sub>3550-a smaller room</sub> ; there , however , the blind of the single casement was closed ; through the deep gloom few details of furniture were apparent . These few [I]<sub>0-i</sub> amused [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> by puzzling to make out ; and , in particular , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was attracted by the outline of a picture on the wall . By - and - by the picture seemed to give way : to [my]<sub>0-i</sub> bewilderment , it shook , it sunk , it rolled back into nothing ; [its]<sub>600-the room</sub> vanishing left an opening arched , leading into [an arched passage]<sub>3551-an arched passage</sub> , with [a mystic winding stair]<sub>3552-a mystic winding stair</sub> ; [both passage]<sub>3553-both passage</sub> and [stair]<sub>3554-stair</sub> were of cold stone , uncarpeted and unpainted . Down [this donjon stair]<sub>3555-this donjon stair</sub> descended a tap , tap , like a stick ; soon there fell on the steps a shadow , and last of all , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was aware of a substance . Yet , was it actual substance , this appearance approaching [me]<sub>0-i</sub> ? this obstruction , partially darkening the arch ? It drew near , and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> saw it well . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> began to comprehend where [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was . Well might [this old square]<sub>3556-this old square</sub> be named [quarter of [the Magi]<sub>105-the magi</sub>]<sub>3557-quarter of the magi</sub> - well might [the three towers]<sub>3558-the three towers</sub> , overlooking [it]<sub>3556-this old square</sub> , own for [godfathers three mystic sages of a dead and dark art]<sub>3559-godfathers three mystic sages of a dead and dark art</sub> . Hoar enchantment here prevailed ; a spell had opened for [[me]<sub>0-i</sub> elf - land]<sub>3560-me elf - land</sub> - [that cell - like room]<sub>3561-that cell - like room</sub> , that vanishing picture , that arch and passage , and stair of stone , were all parts of a fairy tale . Distincter even than these scenic details stood [the chief figure]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> - [Cunegonde]<sub>426-cunegonde</sub> , [the sorceress]<sub>3563-the sorceress</sub> ! [Malevola]<sub>427-malevola</sub> , [the evil fairy]<sub>3564-the evil fairy</sub> . How was [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> ? [She]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> might be three feet high , but [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> had no shape ; [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> skinny hands rested upon each other , and pressed the gold knob of a wand - like ivory staff . [Her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> face was large , set , not upon [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> shoulders , but before [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> breast ; [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> seemed to have no neck ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> should have said there were a hundred years in [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> features , and more perhaps in [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> eyes - [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> malign , unfriendly eyes , with thick grey brows above , and livid lids all round . How severely [they]<sub>3565-they</sub> viewed [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , with a sort of dull displeasure ! [This being]<sub>2534-this being</sub> wore a gown of brocade , dyed bright blue , full - tinted as the gentianella flower , and covered with satin foliage in a large pattern ; over the gown a costly shawl , gorgeously bordered , and so large for [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> , that its many - coloured fringe swept the floor . But [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> chief points were [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> jewels : [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> had long , clear earrings , blazing with a lustre which could not be borrowed or false ; [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> had rings on [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> skeleton hands , with thick gold hoops , and stones - purple , green , and blood - red . Hunchbacked , dwarfish , and doting , [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> was adorned like [a barbarian queen]<sub>3567-a barbarian queen</sub> . " Que [me]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> voulez - vous ? "<sub>[3562-the chief figure]</sub> said [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> , hoarsely , with the voice rather of male than of female old age ; and , indeed , a silver beard bristled [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> chin . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> delivered [my]<sub>0-i</sub> basket and [my]<sub>0-i</sub> message . " Is that all ? "<sub>[3562-the chief figure]</sub> [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> demanded . " It is all , "<sub>[0-i]</sub> said [I.]<sub>0-i</sub> " Truly , it was well worth while , "<sub>[3562-the chief figure]</sub> [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> answered . " Return to [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> , and tell [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> [I]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> can buy fruit when [I]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> want it , et quant a ses felicitations , je m'en moque ! "<sub>[3562-the chief figure]</sub> And [this courteous dame]<sub>3568-this courteous dame</sub> turned [her]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> back . Just as [she]<sub>3562-the chief figure</sub> turned , a peal of thunder broke , and a flash of lightning blazed broad over salon and boudoir . The tale of magic seemed to proceed with due accompaniment of the elements . [The wanderer]<sub>3569-the wanderer</sub> , decoyed into [the enchanted castle]<sub>3570-the enchanted castle</sub> , heard rising , outside , the spell - wakened tempest . What , in all this , was [I]<sub>0-i</sub> to think of [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> ? [She]<sub>190-madame</sub> owned strange acquaintance ; [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> offered messages and gifts at an unique shrine , and inauspicious seemed the bearing of the uncouth thing [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> worshipped . There went that sullen [Sidonia]<sub>428-sidonia</sub> , tottering and trembling like palsy incarnate , tapping [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> ivory staff on the mosaic parquet , and muttering venomously as [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> vanished . Down washed the rain , deep lowered the welkin ; the clouds , ruddy a while ago , had now , through all their blackness , turned deadly pale , as if in terror . Notwithstanding [my]<sub>0-i</sub> late boast about not fearing a shower , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> hardly liked to go out under this waterspout . Then the gleams of lightning were very fierce , the thunder crashed very near ; this storm had gathered immediately above [Villette]<sub>3-villette</sub> ; it seemed to have burst at the zenith ; it rushed down prone ; the forked , slant bolts pierced athwart vertical torrents ; red zigzags interlaced a descent blanched as white metal : and all broke from a sky heavily black in its swollen abundance . Leaving [[Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> ' inhospitable salon]<sub>3571-madame walravens ' inhospitable salon</sub> , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> betook [myself]<sub>0-i</sub> to [[her]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> cold staircase]<sub>3572-her cold staircase</sub> ; there was a seat on [the landing]<sub>3573-the landing</sub> - there [I]<sub>0-i</sub> waited . [Somebody]<sub>4307-somebody</sub> came gliding along [the gallery just above]<sub>3575-the gallery just above</sub> ; it was [the old priest]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> . " Indeed [Mademoiselle]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> shall not sit [there]<sub>512-there</sub> , "<sub>[3546-the old priest]</sub> said [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> . " It would displeasure [[our]<sub>6948-our</sub> benefactor]<sub>6949-our benefactor</sub> if [he]<sub>6949-our benefactor</sub> knew [a stranger]<sub>874-a stranger</sub> was so treated in [this house]<sub>5145-this house</sub> . "<sub>[3546-the old priest]</sub> And [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> begged [me]<sub>0-i</sub> so earnestly to return to [the salon]<sub>1040-the salon</sub> , that , without discourtesy , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> could not but comply . [The smaller room]<sub>3578-the smaller room</sub> was better furnished and more habitable than the larger ; thither [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> introduced [me]<sub>0-i</sub> . Partially withdrawing the blind , [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> disclosed what seemed more like [an oratory]<sub>3579-an oratory</sub> than [a boudoir]<sub>3580-a boudoir</sub> , [a very solemn little chamber]<sub>3581-a very solemn little chamber</sub> , looking as if [it]<sub>3581-a very solemn little chamber</sub> were [a place rather dedicated to relics and remembrance , than designed for present use and comfort]<sub>3582-a place rather dedicated to relics and remembrance , than designed for present use and comfort</sub> . [The good father]<sub>5714-the good father</sub> sat down , as if to keep [me]<sub>0-i</sub> company ; but instead of conversing , [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> took out a book , fastened on the page [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> eyes , and employed [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> lips in whispering - what sounded like a prayer or litany . A yellow electric light from the sky gilded [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> bald head ; [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> figure remained in shade - deep and purple ; [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> sat still as sculpture ; [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> seemed to forget [me]<sub>0-i</sub> for [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> prayers ; [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> only looked up when a fiercer bolt , or a harsher , closer rattle told of nearing danger ; even then , it was not in fear , but in seeming awe , [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> raised [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> eyes . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> too was awe - struck ; being , however , under no pressure of slavish terror , [my]<sub>0-i</sub> thoughts and observations were free . To speak truth , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> was beginning to fancy that [the old priest]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> resembled that [Pere Silas]<sub>289-pere silas</sub> , before whom [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had kneeled in [the church of the Beguinage]<sub>3585-the church of the beguinage</sub> . The idea was vague , for [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had seen [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> confessor]<sub>3586-my confessor</sub> only in dusk and in profile , yet still [I]<sub>0-i</sub> seemed to trace a likeness : [I]<sub>0-i</sub> thought also [I]<sub>0-i</sub> recognized the voice . While [I]<sub>0-i</sub> watched [him]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> , [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> betrayed , by one lifted look , that [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> felt [my]<sub>0-i</sub> scrutiny ; [I]<sub>0-i</sub> turned to note [the room]<sub>600-the room</sub> ; that too had its half mystic interest . Beside a cross of curiously carved old ivory , yellow with time , and sloped above a dark - red prie - dieu , furnished duly , with rich missal and ebon rosary - hung the picture whose dim outline had drawn [my]<sub>0-i</sub> eyes before - the picture which moved , fell away with the wall and let in phantoms . Imperfectly seen , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had taken it for a Madonna ; revealed by clearer light , it proved to be [a woman]<sub>4363-a woman</sub> 's portrait in [a nun]<sub>6121-a nun</sub> 's dress . The face , though not beautiful , was pleasing ; pale , young , and shaded with the dejection of grief or ill health . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> say again it was not beautiful ; it was not even intellectual ; its very amiability was the amiability of a weak frame , inactive passions , acquiescent habits : yet [I]<sub>0-i</sub> looked long at that picture , and could not choose but look . [The old priest]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> , who at first had seemed to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> so deaf and infirm , must yet have retained [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> faculties in tolerable preservation ; absorbed in [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> book as [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> appeared , without once lifting [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> head , or , as far as [I]<sub>0-i</sub> knew , turning [his]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> eyes , [he]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> perceived the point towards which [my]<sub>0-i</sub> attention was drawn , and , in a slow distinct voice , dropped , concerning it , these four observations : - " [She]<sub>3591-she</sub> was much beloved . "<sub>[3591-she]</sub> [She]<sub>3591-she</sub> gave [herself]<sub>3591-she</sub> to [God]<sub>164-god</sub> . " [She]<sub>3591-she</sub> died young . "<sub>[3591-she]</sub> [She]<sub>3591-she</sub> is still remembered , still wept . " "<sub>[3591-she]</sub> By [that aged lady]<sub>3592-that aged lady</sub> , [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> ? " [I]<sub>3592-that aged lady</sub> inquired , fancying that [I]<sub>3592-that aged lady</sub> had discovered in the incurable grief of bereavement , a key to [that same aged lady]<sub>6952-that same aged lady</sub> 's desperate ill - humour . [The father]<sub>2571-the father</sub> shook [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> head with half a smile . "<sub>[3592-that aged lady]</sub> No , no , " said [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> ; "<sub>[3592-that aged lady]</sub> [a grand - dame]<sub>3593-a grand - dame</sub> 's affection for [[her]<sub>3593-a grand - dame</sub> children 's children]<sub>3594-her children 's children</sub> may be great , and [her]<sub>3593-a grand - dame</sub> sorrow for [their]<sub>3594-her children 's children</sub> loss , lively ; but it is only the affianced lover , to whom Fate , Faith , and [Death]<sub>277-death</sub> have trebly denied the bliss of union , who mourns what [he]<sub>3595-he</sub> has lost , as [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> is still mourned . " [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> thought [the father]<sub>2571-the father</sub> rather wished to be questioned , and therefore [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> inquired who had lost and who still mourned "<sub>[429-justine marie]</sub> [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> . " [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> got , in reply , quite a little romantic narrative , told not unimpressively , with the accompaniment of the now subsiding storm . [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> am bound to say it might have been made much more truly impressive , if there had been less French , [Rousseau]<sub>430-rousseau</sub> - like sentimentalizing and wire - drawing ; and rather more healthful carelessness of effect . But [the worthy father]<sub>6955-the worthy father</sub> was obviously [a Frenchman born and bred]<sub>6956-a frenchman born and bred</sub> [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> became more and more persuaded of [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> resemblance to [[my]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> confessor]<sub>3586-my confessor</sub> - [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> was [a true son of [Rome]<sub>54-rome</sub>]<sub>6958-a true son of rome</sub> ; when [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> did lift [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> eyes , [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> looked at [me]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> out of their corners , with more and sharper subtlety than , one would have thought , could survive the wear and tear of seventy years . Yet , [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> believe , [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> was [a good old man]<sub>5705-a good old man</sub> . [The hero of [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> tale]<sub>6960-the hero of his tale</sub> was [some former pupil of [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> , whom [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> now called [[his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> benefactor]<sub>6962-his benefactor</sub> , and who , it appears , had loved this pale [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> , [the daughter of [rich parents]<sub>6964-rich parents</sub>]<sub>6963-the daughter of rich parents</sub> , at a time when [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> own worldly prospects were such as to justify [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> aspiring to [a well - dowered hand]<sub>6965-a well - dowered hand</sub>]<sub>6961-some former pupil of his , whom he now called his benefactor , and who , it appears , had loved this pale justine marie , the daughter of rich parents , at a time when his own worldly prospects were such as to justify his aspiring to a well - dowered hand</sub> . [[The pupil]<sub>6966-the pupil</sub> 's father]<sub>6967-the pupil 's father</sub> - once [a rich banker]<sub>6968-a rich banker</sub> - had failed , died , and left behind [him]<sub>2571-the father</sub> only debts and destitution . [The son]<sub>6331-the son</sub> was then forbidden to think of [Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> ; especially [that old witch of [a grand - dame [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> had seen]<sub>6971-a grand - dame i had seen</sub>]<sub>6970-that old witch of a grand - dame i had seen</sub> , [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> , opposed the match with all the violence of a temper which deformity made sometimes demoniac . [The mild Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> had neither the treachery to be false , nor the force to be quite staunch to [[her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> lover]<sub>5767-her lover</sub> ; [she]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> gave up [[her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> first suitor]<sub>6973-her first suitor</sub> , but , refusing to accept a second with a heavier purse , withdrew to [a convent]<sub>1396-a convent</sub> , and there died in [[her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> noviciate]<sub>6975-her noviciate</sub> . Lasting anguish , it seems , had taken possession of the faithful heart which worshipped [her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> , and the truth of that love and grief had been shown in a manner which touched even [me]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> , as [I]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> listened . Some years after [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> 's death , ruin had come on [[her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> house]<sub>6212-her house</sub> too : [[her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> father]<sub>643-her father</sub> , by nominal calling [a jeweller]<sub>6978-a jeweller</sub> , but who also dealt a good deal on the Bourse , had been concerned in some financial transactions which entailed exposure and ruinous fines . [He]<sub>643-her father</sub> died of grief for the loss , and shame for the infamy . [[His]<sub>643-her father</sub> old hunchbacked mother]<sub>6979-his old hunchbacked mother</sub> and [[his]<sub>643-her father</sub> bereaved wife]<sub>6980-his bereaved wife</sub> were left penniless , and might have died too of want ; but [[their]<sub>6981-their</sub> lost daughter 's once - despised , yet most true- hearted suitor , hearing of the condition of [these ladies]<sub>6983-these ladies</sub>]<sub>6982-their lost daughter 's once - despised , yet most true- hearted suitor , hearing of the condition of these ladies</sub> , came with singular devotedness to the rescue . [He]<sub>643-her father</sub> took on [their]<sub>6983-these ladies</sub> insolent pride the revenge of the purest charity - housing , caring for , befriending [them]<sub>6983-these ladies</sub> , so as [no son]<sub>6984-no son</sub> could have done it more tenderly and efficiently . [The mother]<sub>881-the mother</sub> - on the whole [a good woman]<sub>6986-a good woman</sub> - died blessing [him]<sub>643-her father</sub> ; [the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother]<sub>6987-the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother</sub> lived still , entirely supported by [this self - sacrificing man]<sub>6988-this self - sacrificing man</sub> . [Her]<sub>6987-the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother</sub> , who had been the bane of [his]<sub>643-her father</sub> life , blighting [his]<sub>643-her father</sub> hope , and awarding [him]<sub>643-her father</sub> , for love and domestic happiness , long mourning and cheerless solitude , [he]<sub>643-her father</sub> treated with the respect [a good son]<sub>6989-a good son</sub> might offer [a kind mother]<sub>6990-a kind mother</sub> . [He]<sub>643-her father</sub> had brought [her]<sub>6987-the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother</sub> to [this house]<sub>5145-this house</sub> , "<sub>[429-justine marie]</sub> and , " continued [the priest]<sub>4890-the priest</sub> , while genuine tears rose to [his]<sub>4890-the priest</sub> eyes , "<sub>[3596-he]</sub> here , too , [he]<sub>3596-he</sub> shelters [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , [[his]<sub>3596-he</sub> old tutor]<sub>3597-his old tutor</sub> , and [Agnes]<sub>432-agnes</sub> , [a superannuated servant of [[his]<sub>3596-he</sub> father 's family]<sub>3599-his father 's family</sub>]<sub>3598-a superannuated servant of his father 's family</sub> . To [our]<sub>3600-our</sub> sustenance , and to other charities , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> know [he]<sub>3596-he</sub> devotes three - parts of [his]<sub>3596-he</sub> income , keeping only the fourth to provide [himself]<sub>3596-he</sub> with bread and the most modest accommodations . By this arrangement [he]<sub>3596-he</sub> has rendered it impossible to [himself]<sub>3596-he</sub> ever to marry : [he]<sub>3596-he</sub> has given [himself]<sub>3596-he</sub> to [God]<sub>164-god</sub> and to [[his]<sub>3596-he</sub> angel - bride]<sub>3601-his angel - bride</sub> as much as if [he]<sub>3596-he</sub> were [a priest]<sub>5700-a priest</sub> , like [me]<sub>0-i</sub> . " [The father]<sub>2571-the father</sub> had wiped away [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> tears before [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> uttered these last words , and in pronouncing them , [he]<sub>2571-the father</sub> for one instant raised [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> eyes to [mine]<sub>0-i</sub> . [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> caught this glance , despite its veiled character ; the momentary gleam shot a meaning which struck [me]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> . [These Romanists]<sub>6994-these romanists</sub> are [strange beings]<sub>6995-strange beings</sub> . [Such a one among [them]<sub>6994-these romanists</sub>]<sub>6996-such a one among them</sub> - whom [you]<sub>6997-you</sub> know no more than [the last Inca of [Peru]<sub>106-peru</sub>]<sub>6998-the last inca of peru</sub> , or [the first Emperor of [China]<sub>20-china</sub>]<sub>6999-the first emperor of china</sub> - knows [you]<sub>6997-you</sub> and all [your]<sub>6997-you</sub> concerns ; and has [his]<sub>6996-such a one among them</sub> reasons for saying to [you]<sub>6997-you</sub> so and so , when [you]<sub>6997-you</sub> simply thought the communication sprang impromptu from the instant 's impulse : [his]<sub>6996-such a one among them</sub> plan in bringing it about that [you]<sub>6997-you</sub> shall come on such a day , to such a place , under such and such circumstances , when the whole arrangement seems to [your]<sub>6997-you</sub> crude apprehension the ordinance of chance , or the sequel of exigency . [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> 's suddenly - recollected message and present , [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> artless embassy to [the Place of [the Magi]<sub>3534-the magi</sub>]<sub>7000-the place of the magi</sub> , [the old priest]<sub>3546-the old priest</sub> accidentally descending the steps and crossing [the square]<sub>3532-the square</sub> , [his]<sub>6996-such a one among them</sub> interposition on [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> behalf with [the bonne who would have sent [me]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> away]<sub>7004-the bonne who would have sent me away</sub> , [his]<sub>6996-such a one among them</sub> reappearance on [the staircase]<sub>2466-the staircase</sub> , [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> introduction to [this room]<sub>740-this room</sub> , the portrait , the narrative so affably volunteered - all these little incidents , taken as they fell out , seemed each independent of its successor ; a handful of loose beads : but threaded through by that quick - shot and crafty glance of [a Jesuit - eye]<sub>7007-a jesuit - eye</sub> , they dropped pendent in a long string , like that rosary on the prie - dieu . Where lay the link of junction , where the little clasp of this monastic necklace ? [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> saw or felt union , but could not yet find the spot , or detect the means of connection . Perhaps the musing - fit into which [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> had by this time fallen , appeared somewhat suspicious in its abstraction ; [he]<sub>0-i</sub> gently interrupted : "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> [Mademoiselle]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> , " said [he]<sub>0-i</sub> , "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> trust [you]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> have not far to go through [these inundated streets]<sub>3603-these inundated streets</sub> ? " "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> More than half a league . " "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> [You]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> live - - ? " "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> In [the Rue Fossette]<sub>4917-the rue fossette</sub> . " "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> Not " with animation , "<sub>[433-donc]</sub> not at [the pensionnat of [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub>]<sub>3605-the pensionnat of madame beck</sub> ? " "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> The same . " "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> [Donc]<sub>433-donc</sub> " clapping [his]<sub>0-i</sub> hands , "<sub>[190-madame]</sub> donc , vous devez connaitre mon noble eleve , [mon Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> ? " "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> [Monsieur Paul Emanuel]<sub>384-monsieur paul</sub> , [Professor of Literature]<sub>5240-professor of literature</sub> ? " "<sub>[384-monsieur paul]</sub> [He]<sub>384-monsieur paul</sub> and [none other]<sub>4303-none other</sub> . " A brief silence fell . The spring of junction seemed suddenly to have become palpable ; [I]<sub>384-monsieur paul</sub> felt it yield to pressure . "<sub>[384-monsieur paul]</sub> Was it of [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> [you]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> have been speaking ? " [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> presently inquired . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> Was [he]<sub>384-monsieur paul</sub> [[your]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> pupil]<sub>3608-your pupil</sub> and [the benefactor of [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub>]<sub>3609-the benefactor of madame walravens</sub> ? " "<sub>[384-monsieur paul]</sub> Yes , and of [Agnes]<sub>432-agnes</sub> , [the old servant]<sub>3610-the old servant</sub> : and moreover , with a certain emphasis , [he]<sub>384-monsieur paul</sub> was and is [the lover , true , constant and eternal , of [that saint in [heaven -]<sub>3613-heaven -</sub> [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub>]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub>]<sub>3611-the lover , true , constant and eternal , of that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> . " "<sub>[429-justine marie]</sub> And who , [father]<sub>1803-father</sub> , are [you]<sub>1803-father</sub> ? " [I]<sub>1803-father</sub> continued ; and though [I]<sub>1803-father</sub> accentuated the question , its utterance was well nigh superfluous ; [I]<sub>1803-father</sub> was ere this quite prepared for the answer which actually came . "<sub>[1803-father]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> , [daughter]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> , am [Pere Silas]<sub>289-pere silas</sub> ; [that unworthy son of [Holy Church]<sub>3617-holy church</sub> whom [you]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> once honoured with a noble and touching confidence , showing [me]<sub>0-i</sub> the core of a heart , and the inner shrine of a mind whereof , in solemn truth , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> coveted the direction , in behalf of the only true faith]<sub>3616-that unworthy son of holy church whom you once honoured with a noble and touching confidence , showing me the core of a heart , and the inner shrine of a mind whereof , in solemn truth , i coveted the direction , in behalf of the only true faith</sub> . Nor have [I]<sub>0-i</sub> for a day lost sight of [you]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> , nor for an hour failed to take in [you]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> a rooted interest . Passed under the discipline of [Rome]<sub>54-rome</sub> , moulded by [her]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> high training , inoculated with [her]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> salutary doctrines , inspired by the zeal [she]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> alone gives - [I]<sub>0-i</sub> realize what then might be [your]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> spiritual rank , [your]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> practical value ; and [I]<sub>0-i</sub> envy [Heresy]<sub>434-heresy</sub> [her]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> prey . " This struck [me]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> as a special state of things - [I]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> half - realized [myself]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> in that condition also ; passed under discipline , moulded , trained , inoculated , and so on . "<sub>[3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie]</sub> Not so , " thought [I]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> , but [I]<sub>3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie</sub> restrained deprecation , and sat quietly enough . "<sub>[3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie]</sub> [I]<sub>0-i</sub> suppose M. [Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> does not live [here]<sub>4212-here</sub> ? " [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> resumed , pursuing a theme which [I]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> thought more to the purpose than any wild renegade dreams . "<sub>[196-m. paul]</sub> No ; [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> only comes occasionally to worship [[his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> beloved saint]<sub>3619-his beloved saint</sub> , to make [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> confession to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> , and to pay [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> respects to [her]<sub>3619-his beloved saint</sub> [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> calls [[his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> mother]<sub>534-his mother</sub> . [[His]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> own lodging]<sub>3621-his own lodging</sub> consists but of [two rooms]<sub>3622-two rooms</sub> : [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> has [no servant]<sub>3623-no servant</sub> , and yet [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> will not suffer [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> to dispose of those splendid jewels with which [you]<sub>3624-you</sub> see [her]<sub>3619-his beloved saint</sub> adorned , and in which [she]<sub>3619-his beloved saint</sub> takes a puerile pride as the ornaments of [her]<sub>3619-his beloved saint</sub> youth , and the last relics of [[her]<sub>3619-his beloved saint</sub> son]<sub>532-her son</sub> [the jeweller]<sub>3626-the jeweller</sub> 's wealth . " "<sub>[3628-this m. emanuel]</sub> How often , " murmured [I]<sub>3628-this m. emanuel</sub> to [myself]<sub>3628-this m. emanuel</sub> , "<sub>[3628-this m. emanuel]</sub> has [this man]<sub>4628-this man</sub> , [this M. Emanuel]<sub>3628-this m. emanuel</sub> , seemed to [me]<sub>0-i</sub> to lack magnanimity in trifles , yet how great [he]<sub>4628-this man</sub> is in great things ! " [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> own [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> did not reckon amongst the proofs of [his]<sub>4628-this man</sub> greatness , either the act of confession , or the saint - worship . "<sub>[4628-this man]</sub> How long is it since [that lady]<sub>577-that lady</sub> died ? " [I]<sub>577-that lady</sub> inquired , looking at [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> . "<sub>[577-that lady]</sub> Twenty years . [She]<sub>577-that lady</sub> was somewhat older than [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> ; [he]<sub>4628-this man</sub> was then very young , for [he]<sub>4628-this man</sub> is not much beyond forty . " "<sub>[4628-this man]</sub> Does [he]<sub>4628-this man</sub> yet weep [her]<sub>577-that lady</sub> ? " "<sub>[4628-this man]</sub> [His]<sub>4628-this man</sub> heart will weep [her]<sub>577-that lady</sub> always : the essence of [Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> 's nature is - constancy . " This was said with marked emphasis . And now the sun broke out pallid and waterish ; the rain yet fell , but there was no more tempest : that hot firmament had cloven and poured out its lightnings . A longer delay would scarce leave daylight for [my]<sub>4628-this man</sub> return , so [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> rose , thanked [the father]<sub>2571-the father</sub> for [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> hospitality and [his]<sub>2571-the father</sub> tale , was benignantly answered by a "<sub>[4628-this man]</sub> pax vobiscum , " which [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> made kindly welcome , because it seemed uttered with a true benevolence ; but [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> liked less the mystic phrase accompanying it . "<sub>[4628-this man]</sub> [Daughter]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> , [you]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> shall be what [you]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> shall be ! " an oracle that made [me]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> shrug [my]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> shoulders as soon as [I]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> had got outside the door . [Few of [us]<sub>7010-us</sub>]<sub>7009-few of us</sub> know what [we]<sub>7010-us</sub> are to come to certainly , but for all that had happened yet , [I]<sub>3615-daughter</sub> had good hopes of living and dying [a sober - minded Protestant]<sub>7011-a sober - minded protestant</sub> : there was a hollowness within , and a flourish around "<sub>[3615-daughter]</sub> [Holy Church]<sub>3617-holy church</sub> " which tempted [me]<sub>4628-this man</sub> but moderately . [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> went on [my]<sub>4628-this man</sub> way pondering many things . Whatever Romanism may be , there are [good Romanists]<sub>7012-good romanists</sub> : [this man]<sub>4628-this man</sub> , [Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , seemed of the best ; touched with superstition , influenced by priestcraft , yet wondrous for fond faith , for pious devotion , for sacrifice of self , for charity unbounded . It remained to see how [Rome]<sub>54-rome</sub> , by [[her]<sub>7014-her</sub> agents]<sub>7015-her agents</sub> , handled such qualities ; whether [she]<sub>7014-her</sub> cherished them for [their]<sub>7015-her agents</sub> own sake and for [God]<sub>164-god</sub> 's , or put them out to [usury]<sub>7016-usury</sub> and made booty of the interest . By the time [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> reached [home]<sub>542-home</sub> , it was sundown . [Goton]<sub>276-goton</sub> had kindly saved [me]<sub>4628-this man</sub> a portion of dinner , which indeed [I]<sub>4628-this man</sub> needed . [She]<sub>276-goton</sub> called [me]<sub>4628-this man</sub> into the little cabinet to partake of it , and there [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> soon made [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> appearance , bringing [me]<sub>4628-this man</sub> a glass of wine . "<sub>[4628-this man]</sub> Well , " began [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> , chuckling , "<sub>[4628-this man]</sub> and what sort of a reception did [Madame Walravens]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> give [you]<sub>3632-you</sub> ? Elle est drole , n'est - ce pas ? " [I]<sub>0-i</sub> told [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> what had passed , delivering verbatim the courteous message with which [I]<sub>0-i</sub> had been charged . "<sub>[0-i]</sub> Oh la singuliere petite bossue ! " laughed [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> . "<sub>[0-i]</sub> Et figurez - vous qu'elle [me]<sub>0-i</sub> deteste , parcequ'elle [me]<sub>0-i</sub> croit amoureuse de [mon cousin Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> ; ce petit devot qui n'ose pas bouger , a moins que [son confesseur]<sub>3633-son confesseur</sub> ne lui donne la permission ! Au reste " [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> went on , "<sub>[3633-son confesseur]</sub> if [he]<sub>3634-he</sub> wanted to marry ever so much - soit moi , soit une autre - [he]<sub>3634-he</sub> could not do it ; [he]<sub>3634-he</sub> has too large [a family]<sub>3635-a family</sub> already on [his]<sub>3634-he</sub> hands : [Mere Walravens]<sub>435-mere walravens</sub> , [Pere Silas]<sub>289-pere silas</sub> , [Dame Agnes]<sub>432-agnes</sub> , and [a whole troop of [nameless paupers]<sub>3637-nameless paupers</sub>]<sub>3636-a whole troop of nameless paupers</sub> . There never was [a man like [him]<sub>3634-he</sub>]<sub>3638-a man like him</sub> for laying on [himself]<sub>3634-he</sub> burdens greater than [he]<sub>3634-he</sub> can bear , voluntarily incurring needless responsibilities . Besides , [he]<sub>3634-he</sub> harbours a romantic idea about some pale - faced Marie Justine - personnage assez niaise a ce que je pense " such was [Madame]<sub>424-madame walravens</sub> 's irreverent remark , "<sub>[3634-he]</sub> who has been [an angel in heaven]<sub>3639-an angel in heaven</sub> , or elsewhere , this score of years , and to whom [he]<sub>3634-he</sub> means to go , free from all earthly ties , pure comme un lis , a ce qu'il dit . Oh , [you]<sub>3640-you</sub> would laugh could [you]<sub>3640-you</sub> but know half M. [Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> 's crotchets and eccentricities ! But [I]<sub>0-i</sub> hinder [you]<sub>3640-you</sub> from taking refreshment , ma bonne Meess , which [you]<sub>3640-you</sub> must need ; eat [your]<sub>3640-you</sub> supper , drink [your]<sub>3640-you</sub> wine , oubliez les anges , les bossues , et surtout , [les Professeurs]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> - et bon soir ! " CHAPTER XXXV FRATERNITY . "<sub>[3641-les professeurs]</sub> Oubliez les Professeurs . " So said [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> . [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> was [a wise woman]<sub>7018-a wise woman</sub> , but [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> should not have uttered those words . To do so was a mistake . That night [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> should have left [me]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> calm - not excited , indifferent , not interested , isolated in [my]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> own estimation and that of [others]<sub>770-others</sub> - not connected , even in idea , with [this second person whom [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> was to forget]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> . Forget [him]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> ? Ah ! [they]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> took a sage plan to make [me]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> forget [him]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> - the wiseheads ! [They]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> showed [me]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> how good [he]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> was ; [they]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> made of [[my]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> dear little man]<sub>7021-my dear little man</sub> [a stainless little hero]<sub>7022-a stainless little hero</sub> . And then [they]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> had prated about [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> manner of loving . What means had [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> , before this day , of being certain whether [he]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> could love at all or not ? [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> had known [him]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> jealous , suspicious ; [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> had seen about [him]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> certain tendernesses , fitfulnesses - a softness which came like a warm air , and a ruth which passed like early dew , dried in the heat of [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> irritabilities : this was all [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> had seen . And [they]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> , [Pere Silas]<sub>289-pere silas</sub> and [Modeste Maria Beck]<sub>204-modeste maria beck</sub> that these two wrought in concert [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> could not doubt opened up the adytum of [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> heart - showed [me]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> one grand love , [the child of this southern nature 's youth , born so strong and perfect]<sub>7023-the child of this southern nature 's youth , born so strong and perfect</sub> , that it had laughed at [Death]<sub>277-death</sub> [himself]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> , despised [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> mean rape of matter , clung to immortal spirit , and in victory and faith , had watched beside [a tomb]<sub>5469-a tomb</sub> twenty years . This had been done - not idly : this was not a mere hollow indulgence of sentiment ; [he]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> had proven [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> fidelity by the consecration of [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> best energies to an unselfish purpose , and attested it by limitless personal sacrifices : for those once dear to [her]<sub>204-modeste maria beck</sub> [he]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> prized - [he]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> had laid down vengeance , and taken up a cross . Now , as for [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> , [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> knew what [she]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> was as well as if [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> had seen [her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> . [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> knew [she]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> was well enough ; there were [girls like [her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> in [[Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> 's school]<sub>7026-madame beck 's school</sub>]<sub>7025-girls like her in madame beck 's school</sub> - phlegmatics - pale , slow , inert , but kind- natured , neutral of evil , undistinguished for good . If [she]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> wore angels ' wings , [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> knew whose poet - fancy conferred them . If [her]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> forehead shone luminous with the reflex of a halo , [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> knew in the fire of whose irids that circlet of holy flame had generation . Was [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> , then , to be frightened by [Justine Marie]<sub>429-justine marie</sub> ? Was the picture of [a pale dead nun to rise , an eternal barrier]<sub>7027-a pale dead nun to rise , an eternal barrier</sub> ? And what of the charities which absorbed [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> worldly goods ? What of [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> heart sworn to virginity ? [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> - [Pere Silas]<sub>289-pere silas</sub> - [you]<sub>7028-you</sub> should not have suggested these questions . They were at once the deepest puzzle , the strongest obstruction , and the keenest stimulus , [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> had ever felt . For a week of nights and days [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> fell asleep - [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> dreamt , and [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> woke upon these two questions . In [the whole world]<sub>4684-the whole world</sub> there was no answer to them , except where [one dark little man]<sub>7030-one dark little man</sub> stood , sat , walked , lectured , under the head - piece of [a bandit bonnet - grec , and within the girth of a sorry paletot , much be - inked , and no little adust]<sub>7031-a bandit bonnet - grec , and within the girth of a sorry paletot , much be - inked , and no little adust</sub> . After that visit to [the Rue des Mages]<sub>7032-the rue des mages</sub> , [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> did want to see [him]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> again . [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> felt as if - knowing what [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> now knew - [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> countenance would offer a page more lucid , more interesting than ever ; [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> felt a longing to trace in it the imprint of that primitive devotedness , the signs of that half - knightly , half - saintly chivalry which [the priest]<sub>4890-the priest</sub> 's narrative imputed to [his]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> nature . [He]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> had become [[my]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> Christian hero]<sub>7034-my christian hero</sub> : under that character [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> wanted to view [him]<sub>7020-this second person whom i was to forget</sub> . Nor was opportunity slow to favour ; [my]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> new impressions underwent [her]<sub>7035-her</sub> test the next day . Yes : [I]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> was granted an interview with [[my]<sub>3641-les professeurs</sub> "<sub>[3641-les professeurs]</sub> Christian hero]<sub>7036-my " christian hero</sub> " - an interview not very heroic , or sentimental , or biblical , but lively enough in its way . About three o'clock of the afternoon , the peace of [the first classe]<sub>1533-the first classe</sub> - safely established , as it seemed , under the serene sway of [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> , who , in propria persona was giving one of [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> orderly and useful lessons - this peace , [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> say , suffered a sudden fracture by the wild inburst of a paletot . [Nobody at the moment]<sub>7038-nobody at the moment</sub> was quieter than [myself]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> . Eased of responsibility by [Madame Beck]<sub>190-madame</sub> 's presence , soothed by [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> uniform tones , pleased and edified with [her]<sub>190-madame</sub> clear exposition of the subject in hand for [she]<sub>190-madame</sub> taught well , [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> sat bent over [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> desk , drawing - that is , copying an elaborate line engraving , tediously working up [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> copy to the finish of the original , for that was [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> practical notion of art ; and , strange to say , [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> took extreme pleasure in the labour , and could even produce curiously finical Chinese facsimiles of steel or mezzotint plates - things about as valuable as so many achievements in worsted - work , but [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> thought pretty well of them in those days . What was the matter ? [My]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> drawing , [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> pencils , [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> precious copy , gathered into one crushed - up handful , perished from before [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> sight ; [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> [myself]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> appeared to be shaken or emptied out of [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> chair , as a solitary and withered nutmeg might be emptied out of a spice - box by [an excited cook]<sub>7039-an excited cook</sub> . That chair and [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> desk , seized by the wild paletot , one under each sleeve , were borne afar ; in a second , [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> followed the furniture ; in two minutes [they]<sub>7040-they</sub> and [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> were fixed in the centre of [the grand salle]<sub>1620-the grand salle</sub> - [a vast adjoining room , seldom used save for dancing and choral singing - lessons - fixed with an emphasis which seemed to prohibit the remotest hope of [our]<sub>7043-our</sub> ever being permitted to stir thence again]<sub>7042-a vast adjoining room , seldom used save for dancing and choral singing - lessons - fixed with an emphasis which seemed to prohibit the remotest hope of our ever being permitted to stir thence again</sub> . Having partially collected [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> scared wits , [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> found [myself]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> in the presence of [two men]<sub>7044-two men</sub> , [gentlemen]<sub>4709-gentlemen</sub> , [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> suppose [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> should say - one dark , the other light - [one having a stiff , half - military air , and wearing a braided surtout]<sub>7046-one having a stiff , half - military air , and wearing a braided surtout</sub> ; [the other]<sub>641-the other</sub> partaking , in garb and bearing , more of the careless aspect of [the student or artist class]<sub>7048-the student or artist class</sub> : both flourishing in full magnificence of moustaches , whiskers , and imperial . [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> stood a little apart from these ; [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> countenance and eyes expressed strong choler ; [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> held forth [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> hand with [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> tribune gesture . "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> [Mademoiselle]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> , " said [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> [your]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> business is to prove to [these gentlemen]<sub>3642-these gentlemen</sub> that [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am [no liar]<sub>3643-no liar</sub> . [You]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> will answer , to the best of [your]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> ability , such questions as [they]<sub>3642-these gentlemen</sub> shall put . [You]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> will also write on such theme as [they]<sub>3642-these gentlemen</sub> shall select . In [their]<sub>3642-these gentlemen</sub> eyes , it appears , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> hold the position of [an unprincipled impostor]<sub>3644-an unprincipled impostor</sub> . [I]<sub>0-i</sub> write essays ; and , with deliberate forgery , sign to [them]<sub>3642-these gentlemen</sub> [[my]<sub>0-i</sub> pupils]<sub>3268-my pupils</sub> ' names , and boast of [them]<sub>3642-these gentlemen</sub> as [their]<sub>3642-these gentlemen</sub> work . [You]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> will disprove this charge . " Grand ciel ! Here was the show - trial , so long evaded , come on [me]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> like a thunder - clap . [These two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages]<sub>7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages</sub> , were [none other than [dandy professors of [the college]<sub>3012-the college</sub>]<sub>7051-dandy professors of the college</sub>]<sub>7050-none other than dandy professors of the college</sub> - [Messieurs Boissec]<sub>436-messieurs boissec</sub> and [Rochemorte]<sub>437-rochemorte</sub> - a pair of [cold - blooded fops]<sub>7053-cold - blooded fops</sub> and [pedants]<sub>7054-pedants</sub> , [sceptics]<sub>7055-sceptics</sub> , and [scoffers]<sub>7056-scoffers</sub> . It seems that [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> had been rashly exhibiting something [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> had written - something , [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> had never once praised , or even mentioned , in [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> hearing , and which [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> deemed forgotten . The essay was not remarkable at all ; it only seemed remarkable , compared with the average productions of [foreign school- girls]<sub>7057-foreign school- girls</sub> ; in an English establishment it would have passed scarce noticed . [Messieurs Boissec]<sub>436-messieurs boissec</sub> and [Rochemorte]<sub>437-rochemorte</sub> had thought proper to question its genuineness , and insinuate a cheat ; [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> was now to bear [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> testimony to the truth , and to be put to the torture of [their]<sub>7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages</sub> examination . A memorable scene ensued . [They]<sub>7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages</sub> began with classics . A dead blank . [They]<sub>7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages</sub> went on to French history . [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> hardly knew [Merovee]<sub>438-merovee</sub> from [Pharamond]<sub>439-pharamond</sub> . [They]<sub>7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages</sub> tried [me]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> in various ' ologies , and still only got a shake of the head , and an unchanging "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> Je n'en sais rien . " After an expressive pause , [they]<sub>7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages</sub> proceeded to matters of general information , broaching one or two subjects which [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> knew pretty well , and on which [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> had often reflected . [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , who had hitherto stood looking on , dark as the winter - solstice , brightened up somewhat ; [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> thought [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> should now show [myself]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> at least [no fool]<sub>7058-no fool</sub> . [He]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> learned [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> error . Though answers to the questions surged up fast , [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> mind filling like a rising well , ideas were there , but not words . [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> either could not , or would not speak - [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> am not sure which : partly , [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> think , [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> nerves had got wrong , and partly [my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> humour was crossed . [I]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> heard [one of [[my]<sub>261-mademoiselle</sub> examiners]<sub>7060-my examiners</sub>]<sub>7059-one of my examiners</sub> - [he]<sub>7059-one of my examiners</sub> of the braided surtout - whisper to [[his]<sub>7059-one of my examiners</sub> co - professor]<sub>7061-his co - professor</sub> , "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> Est - elle donc idiote ? " "<sub>[261-mademoiselle]</sub> Yes , " [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> thought , "<sub>[6289-an idiot]</sub> [an idiot]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> [she]<sub>3647-i</sub> is , and always will be , for such as [you]<sub>3648-you</sub> . " But [I]<sub>3647-i</sub> suffered - suffered cruelly ; [I]<sub>3647-i</sub> saw the damps gather on [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> 's brow , and [his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> eye spoke a passionate yet sad reproach . [He]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> would not believe in [my]<sub>3647-i</sub> total lack of popular cleverness ; [he]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> thought [I]<sub>3647-i</sub> could be prompt if [I]<sub>3647-i</sub> would . At last , to relieve [him]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , [the professors]<sub>2949-the professors</sub> , and [myself]<sub>3647-i</sub> , [I]<sub>3647-i</sub> stammered out : "<sub>[3647-i]</sub> [Gentlemen]<sub>4709-gentlemen</sub> , [you]<sub>4709-gentlemen</sub> had better let [me]<sub>0-i</sub> go ; [you]<sub>4709-gentlemen</sub> will get no good of [me]<sub>0-i</sub> ; as [you]<sub>4709-gentlemen</sub> say , [I]<sub>0-i</sub> am [an idiot]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> . " [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> wish [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> could have spoken with calm and dignity , or [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> wish [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> sense had sufficed to make [me]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> hold [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> tongue ; that traitor tongue tripped , faltered . Beholding [the judges]<sub>7063-the judges</sub> cast on [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> a hard look of triumph , and hearing the distressed tremor of [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> own voice , out [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> burst in a fit of choking tears . The emotion was far more of anger than grief ; had [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> been [a man]<sub>823-a man</sub> and strong , [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> could have challenged [that pair]<sub>7065-that pair</sub> on the spot - but it was emotion , and [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> would rather have been scourged than betrayed it . [The incapables]<sub>7066-the incapables</sub> ! Could [they]<sub>7066-the incapables</sub> not see at once the crude hand of [a novice]<sub>7067-a novice</sub> in that composition [they]<sub>7066-the incapables</sub> called a forgery ? The subject was classical . When [M. Paul]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> dictated the trait on which the essay was to turn , [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> heard it for the first time ; the matter was new to [me]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> , and [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> had no material for its treatment . But [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> got books , read up the facts , laboriously constructed a skeleton out of the dry bones of the real , and then clothed them , and tried to breathe into [them]<sub>7066-the incapables</sub> life , and in this last aim [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> had pleasure . With [me]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> it was a difficult and anxious time till [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> facts were found , selected , and properly jointed ; nor could [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> rest from research and effort till [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> was satisfied of correct anatomy ; the strength of [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> inward repugnance to the idea of flaw or falsity sometimes enabled [me]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> to shun egregious blunders ; but the knowledge was not there in [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> head , ready and mellow ; it had not been sown in Spring , grown in Summer , harvested in Autumn , and garnered through Winter ; whatever [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> wanted [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> must go out and gather fresh ; glean of wild herbs [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> lapful , and shred them green into the pot . [Messieurs Boissec]<sub>436-messieurs boissec</sub> and [Rochemorte]<sub>437-rochemorte</sub> did not perceive this . [They]<sub>7066-the incapables</sub> mistook [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> work for the work of [a ripe scholar]<sub>7068-a ripe scholar</sub> . [They]<sub>7066-the incapables</sub> would not yet let [me]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> go : [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> must sit down and write before [them]<sub>7066-the incapables</sub> . As [I]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> dipped [my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> pen in the ink with a shaking hand , and surveyed the white paper with eyes half - blinded and overflowing , [one of [[my]<sub>6289-an idiot</sub> judges]<sub>7070-my judges</sub>]<sub>7069-one of my judges</sub> began mincingly to apologize for the pain [he]<sub>7069-one of my judges</sub> caused . "<sub>[6289-an idiot]</sub> Nous agissons dans l'interet de la verite . Nous ne voulons pas vous blesser , " said [he]<sub>7069-one of my judges</sub> . Scorn gave [me]<sub>3651-monsieur</sub> nerve . [I]<sub>3651-monsieur</sub> only answered , - "<sub>[3651-monsieur]</sub> Dictate , [Monsieur]<sub>3651-monsieur</sub> . " [Rochemorte]<sub>437-rochemorte</sub> named this theme : "<sub>[3651-monsieur]</sub> [Human Justice]<sub>440-human justice</sub> . " [Human Justice]<sub>440-human justice</sub> ! What was [I]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> to make of it ? Blank , cold abstraction , unsuggestive to [me]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> of one inspiring idea ; and there stood [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> , sad as [Saul]<sub>441-saul</sub> , and stern as [Joab]<sub>442-joab</sub> , and there triumphed [[his]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> accusers]<sub>7071-his accusers</sub> . At these two [I]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> looked . [I]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> was gathering [my]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> courage to tell [them]<sub>7071-his accusers</sub> that [I]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> would neither write nor speak another word for [their]<sub>7071-his accusers</sub> satisfaction , that [their]<sub>7071-his accusers</sub> theme did not suit , nor [their]<sub>7071-his accusers</sub> presence inspire [me]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> , and that , notwithstanding , whoever threw the shadow of a doubt on [M. Emanuel]<sub>196-m. paul</sub> 's honour , outraged that truth of which [they]<sub>7071-his accusers</sub> had announced [themselves]<sub>7071-his accusers</sub> [the - champions]<sub>7072-the - champions</sub> : [I]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> meant to utter all this , [I]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> say , when suddenly , a light darted on memory . [Those two faces looking out of the forest of long hair , moustache , and whisker]<sub>7073-those two faces looking out of the forest of long hair , moustache , and whisker</sub> - [those two cold yet bold , trustless yet presumptuous visages]<sub>7074-those two cold yet bold , trustless yet presumptuous visages</sub> - were the same faces , [the very same that , projected in full gaslight from behind the pillars of a portico]<sub>7075-the very same that , projected in full gaslight from behind the pillars of a portico</sub> , had half frightened [me]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> to death on the night of [my]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> desolate arrival in [Villette]<sub>3-villette</sub> . [These]<sub>7073-those two faces looking out of the forest of long hair , moustache , and whisker</sub> , [I]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> felt morally certain , were [the very heroes who had driven [a friendless foreigner]<sub>7077-a friendless foreigner</sub> beyond [her]<sub>7077-a friendless foreigner</sub> reckoning and [her]<sub>7077-a friendless foreigner</sub> strength]<sub>7076-the very heroes who had driven a friendless foreigner beyond her reckoning and her strength</sub> , chased [her]<sub>7077-a friendless foreigner</sub> breathless over [a whole quarter of [the town]<sub>1306-the town</sub>]<sub>7078-a whole quarter of the town</sub> . "<sub>[3652-pious mentors]</sub> [Pious mentors]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> ! " thought [I.]<sub>3652-pious mentors</sub> "<sub>[3652-pious mentors]</sub> [Pure guides for youth]<sub>3653-pure guides for youth</sub> ! If ` Human Justice ' were what [she]_3654-her ought to be , [you]_3655-your two would scarce hold [your]_3655-your present post , or enjoy [your]_3655-your present credit . " An idea once seized , [I]_{440-human justice} fell to work . "_{[440-human justice]} [Human Justice]_{440-human justice} " rushed before [me]_{440-human justice} in novel guise , a red , random beldame , with arms akimbo . [I]_{440-human justice} saw [her]_3654-her in [[her]_3654-her house]_{6212-her house} , the den of confusion : [servants]_{1062-servants} called to [her]_3654-her for orders or help which [she]_3654-her did not give ; [beggars]_7082-beggars stood at [her]_3654-her door waiting and starving unnoticed ; a swarm of [children]_{4815-children} , sick and quarrelsome , crawled round [her]_3654-her feet , and yelled in [her]_3654-her ears appeals for notice , sympathy , cure , redress . [The honest woman]_{7084-the honest woman} cared for none of these things . [She]_3654-her had a warm seat of [her]_3654-her own by the fire , [she]_3654-her had [her]_3654-her own solace in a short black pipe , and a bottle of [Mrs. Sweeny]_{201-mrs. sweeny} 's soothing syrup ; [she]_3654-her smoked and [she]_3654-her sipped , and [she]_3654-her enjoyed [her]_3654-her paradise ; and whenever a cry of the suffering souls about [her]_3654-her ' pierced [her]_3654-her ears too keenly - [[my]_{440-human justice} jolly dame]_{7085-my jolly dame} seized the poker or the hearth - brush : if [the offender]_{7086-the offender} was weak , wronged , and sickly , [she]_{7085-my jolly dame} effectually settled [him]_{7086-the offender} : if [he]_{7086-the offender} was strong , lively , and violent , [she]_{7085-my jolly dame} only menaced , then plunged [her]_{7085-my jolly dame} hand in [her]_{7085-my jolly dame} deep pouch , and flung a liberal shower of sugar - plums . Such was the sketch of "_{[440-human justice]} Human Justice , " scratched hurriedly on paper , and placed at the service of [Messrs. Boissec]_{443-messrs. boissec} and [Rochemorte]_{437-rochemorte} . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} read it over [my]_{440-human justice} shoulder . Waiting no comment , [I]_{440-human justice} curtsied to [the trio]_{7087-the trio} , and withdrew . After school that day , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} and [I]_{440-human justice} again met . Of course the meeting did not at first run smooth ; there was a crow to pluck with [him]_{7086-the offender} ; that forced examination could not be immediately digested . A crabbed dialogue terminated in [my]_{440-human justice} being called "_{[440-human justice]} [une petite moqueuse et sans- coeur]_{3656-une petite moqueuse et sans- coeur} , " and in [Monsieur]_{7088-monsieur} 's temporary departure . Not wishing [him]_{7088-monsieur} to go quite away , only desiring [he]_{7088-monsieur} should feel that such a transport as [he]_{7088-monsieur} had that day given way to , could not be indulged with perfect impunity , [I]_{440-human justice} was not sorry to see [him]_{7088-monsieur} , soon after , gardening in the berceau . [He]_{7088-monsieur} approached the glass door ; [I]_{440-human justice} drew near also . [We]_7089-we spoke of some flowers growing round it . By - and - by [Monsieur]_{7090-monsieur} laid down [his]_{7090-monsieur} spade ; by - and - by [he]_{7090-monsieur} recommenced conversation , passed to other subjects , and at last touched a point of interest . Conscious that [his]_{7090-monsieur} proceeding of that day was specially open to a charge of extravagance , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} half apologized ; [he]_{196-m. paul} half regretted , too , the fitfulness of [his]_{196-m. paul} moods at all times , yet [he]_{196-m. paul} hinted that some allowance ought to be made for [him]_{7090-monsieur} . "_{[440-human justice]} But , " said [he]_0-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i can hardly expect it at [your]_3657-i hands , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy ; [you]_3657-i know neither [me]_0-i , nor [my]_0-i position , nor [my]_0-i history . " [His]_{3658-monsieur} history . [I]_3657-i took up the word at once ; [I]_3657-i pursued the idea . "_[3657-i] No , [Monsieur]_{3658-monsieur} , " [I]_{3658-monsieur} rejoined . "_{[3658-monsieur]} Of course , as [you]_{3658-monsieur} say , [I]_0-i know neither [your]_{3658-monsieur} history , nor [your]_{3658-monsieur} position , nor [your]_{3658-monsieur} sacrifices , nor any of [your]_{3658-monsieur} sorrows , or trials , or affections , or fidelities . Oh , no ! [I]_0-i know nothing about [you]_{3658-monsieur} ; [you]_{3658-monsieur} are for [me]_0-i altogether [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} . " "_{[3658-monsieur]} Hein ? " [he]_{3658-monsieur} murmured , arching [his]_{3658-monsieur} brows in surprise . "_{[3658-monsieur]} [You]_{3658-monsieur} know , [Monsieur]_{3660-monsieur} , [I]_0-i only see [you]_{3658-monsieur} in classe - stern , dogmatic , hasty , imperious . [I]_0-i only hear of [you]_{3658-monsieur} in [town]_4930-town as active and wilful , quick to originate , hasty to lead , but slow to persuade , and hard to bend . [A man like [you]_{3658-monsieur}]_{3662-a man like you} , without ties , can have no attachments ; without [dependants]_{3663-dependants} , no duties . All [we]_3664-we , with whom [you]_{3658-monsieur} come in contact , are machines , which [you]_{3658-monsieur} thrust here and there , inconsiderate of [their]_3665-their feelings . [You]_{3658-monsieur} seek [your]_{3658-monsieur} recreations in public , by the light of the evening chandelier : [this school]_{4877-this school} and [yonder college]_{3667-yonder college} are [[your]_{3658-monsieur} workshops]_{3668-your workshops} , where [you]_{3658-monsieur} fabricate the ware called [pupils]_4924-pupils . [I]_0-i do n't so much as know where [you]_{3658-monsieur} live ; it is natural to take it for granted that [you]_{3658-monsieur} have [no home]_{3670-no home} , and need none . " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i am judged , " said [he]_0-i . "_[0-i] [Your]_{3658-monsieur} opinion of [me]_0-i is just what [I]_0-i thought it was . For [you]_{3658-monsieur} [I]_0-i am neither [a man]_{823-a man} nor [a Christian]_{3672-a christian} . [You]_{3658-monsieur} see [me]_0-i void of affection and religion , unattached by [friend]_5752-friend or [family]_3674-family , unpiloted by principle or faith . It is well , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} ; such is [our]_3675-our reward in this life . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i are [a philosopher]_{3676-a philosopher} , [Monsieur]_{3677-monsieur} ; [a cynic philosopher]_{3678-a cynic philosopher} " and [I]_{3676-a philosopher} looked at [his]_{3679-monsieur} paletot , of which [he]_{3679-monsieur} straightway brushed the dim sleeve with [his]_{3679-monsieur} hand , "_{[3676-a philosopher]} despising the foibles of humanity - above its luxuries - independent of its comforts . " "_{[261-mademoiselle]} Et vous , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} ? vous etes proprette et douillette , et affreusement insensible , par - dessus le marche . " "_{[261-mademoiselle]} But , in short , [Monsieur]_{3679-monsieur} , now [I]_0-i think of it , [you]_{3679-monsieur} must live somewhere ? Do tell [me]_0-i where ; and what establishment of [servants]_{1062-servants} do [you]_{3679-monsieur} keep ? " With a fearful projection of the under - lip , implying an impetus of scorn the most decided , [he]_{3679-monsieur} broke out - "_{[3679-monsieur]} Je vis dans un trou ! [I]_0-i inhabit [a den]_{3681-a den} , [Miss]_3682-miss - [a cavern , where [you]_3682-miss would not put [your]_3682-miss dainty nose]_{3683-a cavern , where you would not put your dainty nose} . Once , with base shame of speaking the whole truth , [I]_0-i talked about [my]_0-i ' study ' in [that college]_{3684-that college} : know now that [this ' study]_{3685-this ' study} ' is [[my]_0-i whole abode]_{3686-my whole abode} ; [[my]_0-i chamber]_{4944-my chamber} is there and [[my]_0-i drawing - room]_{3688-my drawing - room} . As for [my]_0-i ' establishment of [servants]_{1062-servants} ' " mimicking [my]_3690-my voice "_[3690-my] [they]_3690-my number ten ; les voila . " And [he]_0-i grimly spread , close under [my]_0-i eyes , [his]_0-i ten fingers . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i black [my]_0-i boots , " pursued [he]_0-i savagely . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i brush [my]_0-i paletot . " "_[0-i] No , [Monsieur]_{3691-monsieur} , it is too plain ; [you]_{3691-monsieur} never do that , " was [[my]_{3691-monsieur} parenthesis]_{7091-my parenthesis} . "_{[3691-monsieur]} Je fais mon lit et mon menage ; [I]_0-i seek [my]_0-i dinner in [a restaurant]_{3692-a restaurant} ; [my]_0-i supper takes care , of itself ; [I]_0-i pass days laborious and loveless ; nights long and lonely ; [I]_0-i am ferocious , and bearded and monkish ; and nothing now living in [this world]_{4390-this world} loves [me]_0-i , except some old hearts worn like [my]_0-i own , and [some few beings , impoverished , suffering , poor in purse and in spirit]_{3694-some few beings , impoverished , suffering , poor in purse and in spirit} , whom the kingdoms of [this world]_{4390-this world} own not , but to whom a will and testament not to be disputed has bequeathed [the kingdom of heaven]_{3696-the kingdom of heaven} . " "_{[3697-monsieur]} Ah , [Monsieur]_{3697-monsieur} ; but [I]_0-i know ! " "_{[3697-monsieur]} What do [you]_{3697-monsieur} know ? many things , [I]_0-i verily believe ; yet not [me]_0-i , [Lucy]_142-lucy ! " "_[142-lucy] [I]_0-i know that [you]_{3697-monsieur} have [a pleasant old house]_{3698-a pleasant old house} in [a pleasant old square of the Basse - Ville]_{3699-a pleasant old square of the basse - ville} - why do n't [you]_{3697-monsieur} go and live [there]_512-there ? " "_{[3697-monsieur]} Hein ? " muttered [he]_{3697-monsieur} again . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i liked it much , [Monsieur]_{3701-monsieur} ; with the steps ascending to the door , the grey flags in front , the nodding trees behind - real trees , not shrubs - trees dark , high , and of old growth . And the boudoir - oratoire - [you]_{3697-monsieur} should make [that room]_{613-that room} [[your]_{3697-monsieur} study]_{3703-your study} ; [it]_{613-that room} is so quiet and solemn . " [He]_{3697-monsieur} eyed [me]_{3697-monsieur} closely ; [he]_{3697-monsieur} half - smiled , half - coloured . "_{[3697-monsieur]} Where did [you]_{3697-monsieur} pick up all that ? Who told [you]_{3697-monsieur} ? " [he]_{3697-monsieur} asked . "_{[4256-nobody]} [Nobody]_4256-nobody told [me]_0-i . Did [I]_0-i dream it , [Monsieur]_{3705-monsieur} , do [you]_{3705-monsieur} think ? " "_{[3705-monsieur]} Can [I]_0-i enter into [your]_{3705-monsieur} visions ? Can [I]_0-i guess [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's waking thoughts , much less [her]_{4363-a woman} sleeping fantasies ? " "_[0-i] If [I]_0-i dreamt it , [I]_0-i saw in [my]_0-i dream [human beings]_{3707-human beings} as well as [a house]_{3708-a house} . [I]_0-i saw [a priest , old , bent , and grey]_{3709-a priest , old , bent , and grey} , and [a domestic - old , too , and picturesque]_{3710-a domestic - old , too , and picturesque} ; and [a lady]_{1639-a lady} , splendid but strange ; [her]_{1639-a lady} head would scarce reach to [my]_0-i elbow - [her]_{1639-a lady} magnificence might ransom [a duke]_{3712-a duke} . [She]_{1639-a lady} wore a gown bright as lapis - lazuli - a shawl worth a thousand francs : [she]_{1639-a lady} was decked with ornaments so brilliant , [I]_0-i never saw any with such a beautiful sparkle ; but [her]_{1639-a lady} figure looked as if it had been broken in two and bent double ; [she]_{1639-a lady} seemed also to have outlived the common years of humanity , and to have attained those which are only labour and sorrow . [She]_{1639-a lady} was become morose - almost malevolent ; yet [somebody]_{4307-somebody} , it appears , cared for [her]_{1639-a lady} in [her]_{1639-a lady} infirmities - [somebody]_{4307-somebody} forgave [her]_{1639-a lady} trespasses , hoping to have [his]_{4307-somebody} trespasses forgiven . [They]_3715-they lived together , [these three people]_{3716-these three people} - [the mistress]_{3717-the mistress} , [the chaplain]_{3718-the chaplain} , [the servant]_{5766-the servant} - all old , [all feeble , all sheltered under one kind wing]_{3720-all feeble , all sheltered under one kind wing} . " [He]_0-i covered with [his]_0-i hand the upper part of [his]_0-i face , but did not conceal [his]_0-i mouth , where [I]_0-i saw hovering an expression [I]_0-i liked . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i see [you]_3721-i have entered into [my]_0-i secrets , " said [he]_0-i , "_[3721-i] but how was it done ? " So [I]_3721-i told [him]_0-i how - the commission on which [I]_3721-i had been sent , the storm which had detained [me]_3721-i , the abruptness of [the lady]_{554-the lady} , the kindness of [the priest]_{4890-the priest} . "_[3721-i] As [I]_0-i sat waiting for the rain to cease , [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} whiled away the time with a story , " [I]_{289-pere silas} said . "_{[289-pere silas]} A story ! What story ? [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} is [no romancist]_{3722-no romancist} . " "_{[289-pere silas]} Shall [I]_0-i tell [Monsieur]_{3723-monsieur} the tale ? " "_[0-i] Yes : begin at the beginning . Let [me]_0-i hear some of [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy 's French - [her]_142-lucy best or [her]_142-lucy worst - [I]_0-i do n't much care which : let [us]_3724-us have a good poignee of barbarisms , and a bounteous dose of the insular accent . " "_{[3725-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{3725-monsieur} is not going to be gratified by a tale of ambitious proportions , and the spectacle of [the narrator]_{3726-the narrator} sticking fast in the midst . But [I]_0-i will tell [him]_{3725-monsieur} the title - [the ' Priest 's Pupil]_{3727-the ' priest 's pupil} . ' " "_[0-i] Bah ! " said [he]_{3725-monsieur} , the swarthy flush again dyeing [his]_{3725-monsieur} dark cheek . "_[0-i] [The good old father]_{3728-the good old father} could not have chosen a worse subject ; it is [his]_{3728-the good old father} weak point . But what of [the ' Priest 's Pupil]_{3727-the ' priest 's pupil} ? ' " "_{[3727-the ' priest 's pupil]} Oh ! many things . " [You]_0-i may as well define what things . [I]_{3727-the ' priest 's pupil} mean to know . "_{[3727-the ' priest 's pupil]} " There was [the pupil]_{6966-the pupil} 's youth , [the pupil]_{6966-the pupil} 's manhood ; - [his]_{6966-the pupil} avarice , [his]_{6966-the pupil} ingratitude , [his]_{6966-the pupil} implacability , [his]_{6966-the pupil} inconstancy . Such [a bad pupil]_{7096-a bad pupil} , [Monsieur]_{7097-monsieur} ! - so thankless , cold - hearted , unchivalrous , unforgiving ! "_{[3727-the ' priest 's pupil]} Et puis ? " said [he]_{3725-monsieur} , taking a cigar . "_{[3727-the ' priest 's pupil]} Et puis , " [I]_{3727-the ' priest 's pupil} pursued , "_{[3727-the ' priest 's pupil]} [he]_{3725-monsieur} underwent calamities which [one]_607-one did not pity - bore them in a spirit [one]_607-one did not admire - endured wrongs for which [one]_607-one felt no sympathy ; finally took the unchristian revenge of heaping coals of fire on [[his]_{3725-monsieur} adversary]_{3733-his adversary} 's head . " "_[3734-you] [You]_3734-you have not told [me]_0-i all , " said [he]_{3725-monsieur} . "_[3734-you] Nearly all , [I]_0-i think : [I]_0-i have indicated the heads of [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} 's chapters . " "_[0-i] [You]_3734-you have forgotten one - that which touched on [the pupil]_{6966-the pupil} 's lack of affection - on [his]_{6966-the pupil} hard , cold , monkish heart . " "_[0-i] True ; [I]_0-i remember now . [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} did say that [his]_{289-pere silas} vocation was almost that of [a priest]_{5700-a priest} - that [his]_{289-pere silas} life was considered consecrated . " "_{[289-pere silas]} By what bonds or duties ? " "_{[289-pere silas]} By the ties of the past and the charities of the present . " "_[3734-you] [You]_3734-you have , then , the whole situation ? " "_[3734-you] [I]_0-i have now told [Monsieur]_{3737-monsieur} all that was told [me]_0-i . " Some meditative minutes passed . "_[0-i] Now , [Mademoiselle Lucy]_333-lucy , look at [me]_0-i , and with that truth which [I]_0-i believe [you]_333-lucy never knowingly violate , answer [me]_0-i one question . Raise [your]_333-lucy eyes ; rest them on [mine]_0-i ; have no hesitation ; fear not to trust [me]_0-i - [I]_0-i am [a man to be trusted]_{3738-a man to be trusted} . " [I]_{3738-a man to be trusted} raised [my]_{3738-a man to be trusted} eyes . "_{[3738-a man to be trusted]} Knowing [me]_0-i thoroughly now - all [my]_0-i antecedents , all [my]_0-i responsibilities - having long known [my]_0-i faults , can [you]_333-lucy and [I]_0-i still be [friends]_533-friends ? " "_[333-lucy] If [Monsieur]_{3740-monsieur} wants [a friend]_{1797-a friend} in [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i shall be glad to have [a friend]_{1797-a friend} in [him]_{3740-monsieur} . " "_{[1797-a friend]} But [a close friend]_{3743-a close friend} [I]_0-i mean - intimate and real - kindred in all but blood . Will [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy be [the sister of [a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man]_{3745-a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man}]_{3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man} ? " [I]_{3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man} could not answer [him]_{3740-monsieur} in words , yet [I]_{3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man} suppose [I]_{3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man} did answer [him]_{3740-monsieur} ; [he]_{3740-monsieur} took [my]_{3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man} hand , which found comfort , in the shelter of [his]_{3740-monsieur} . [His]_{3740-monsieur} friendship was not a doubtful , wavering benefit - a cold , distant hope - a sentiment so brittle as not to bear the weight of a finger : [I]_{3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man} at once felt or thought [I]_{3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man} felt its support like that of some rock . "_{[3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man]} When [I]_0-i talk of friendship , [I]_0-i mean true friendship , " [he]_{3740-monsieur} repeated emphatically ; and [I]_0-i could hardly believe that words so earnest had blessed [my]_0-i ear ; [I]_0-i hardly could credit the reality of that kind , anxious look [he]_{3740-monsieur} gave . If [he]_{3740-monsieur} really wished for [my]_0-i confidence and regard , and really would give [me]_0-i [his]_{3740-monsieur} - why , it seemed to [me]_0-i that life could offer nothing more or better . In that case , [I]_0-i was become strong and rich : in a moment [I]_0-i was made substantially happy . To ascertain the fact , to fix and seal it , [I]_0-i asked - "_[0-i] Is [Monsieur]_{3746-monsieur} quite serious ? Does [he]_{3746-monsieur} really think [he]_{3746-monsieur} needs [me]_0-i , and can take an interest in [me]_0-i as [a sister]_{1384-a sister} ? " "_{[3746-monsieur]} Surely , surely , " said [he]_{3752-monsieur} ; "_{[3746-monsieur]} [a lonely man like [me]_0-i , who has [no sister]_{3749-no sister}]_{3748-a lonely man like me , who has no sister} , must be but too glad to find in [some woman]_{3750-some woman} 's heart [a sister]_{1384-a sister} 's pure affection . " "_{[1384-a sister]} And dare [I]_0-i rely on [Monsieur]_{3752-monsieur} 's regard ? Dare [I]_0-i speak to [him]_{3752-monsieur} when [I]_0-i am so inclined ? " "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i little sister]_{719-my little sister} must make [her]_{719-my little sister} own experiments , " said [he]_0-i ; "_{[719-my little sister]} [I]_0-i will give no promises . [She]_{719-my little sister} must tease and try [[her]_{719-my little sister} wayward brother]_{3754-her wayward brother} till [she]_{719-my little sister} has drilled [him]_{3754-her wayward brother} into what [she]_{719-my little sister} wishes . After all , [he]_{3754-her wayward brother} is [no inductile material in some hands]_{3755-no inductile material in some hands} . " While [he]_0-i spoke , the tone of [his]_0-i voice , the light of [his]_0-i now affectionate eye , gave [me]_{3754-her wayward brother} such a pleasure as , certainly , [I]_{3754-her wayward brother} had never felt . [I]_{3754-her wayward brother} envied [no girl]_{7098-no girl} [[her]_{7098-no girl} lover]_{5767-her lover} , [no bride]_{7100-no bride} [[her]_{7098-no girl} bridegroom]_{7101-her bridegroom} , [no wife]_{7102-no wife} [[her]_{7098-no girl} husband]_{509-her husband} ; [I]_{3754-her wayward brother} was content with this [[my]_{3754-her wayward brother} voluntary , self - offering friend]_{7104-my voluntary , self - offering friend} . If [he]_0-i would but prove reliable , and [he]_0-i looked reliable , what , beyond [his]_0-i friendship , could [I]_{3754-her wayward brother} ever covet ? But , if all melted like a dream , as once before had happened - ? "_{[3754-her wayward brother]} Qu'est - ce donc ? What is it ? " said [he]_0-i , as this thought threw its weight on [my]_142-lucy heart , its shadow on [my]_142-lucy countenance . [I]_142-lucy told [him]_0-i ; and after a moment 's pause , and a thoughtful smile , [he]_0-i showed [me]_142-lucy how an equal fear - lest [I]_142-lucy should weary of [him]_0-i , [a man of moods so difficult and fitful]_{7105-a man of moods so difficult and fitful} - had haunted [his]_0-i mind for more than one day , or one month . On hearing this , a quiet courage cheered [me]_142-lucy . [I]_142-lucy ventured a word of re - assurance . That word was not only tolerated ; its repetition was courted . [I]_142-lucy grew quite happy - strangely happy - in making [him]_0-i secure , content , tranquil . Yesterday , [I]_142-lucy could not have believed that [earth]_4454-earth held , or life afforded , moments like the few [I]_142-lucy was now passing . Countless times it had been [my]_142-lucy lot to watch apprehended sorrow close darkly in ; but to see unhoped - for happiness take form , find place , and grow more real as the seconds sped , was indeed a new experience . "_[142-lucy] [Lucy]_142-lucy , " said [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , speaking low , and still holding [my]_142-lucy hand , "_[142-lucy] did [you]_142-lucy see a picture in the boudoir of [the old house]_{3756-the old house} ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did ; a picture painted on a panel . " "_[0-i] The portrait of [a nun]_{6121-a nun} ? " "_{[6121-a nun]} Yes . " "_{[6121-a nun]} [You]_0-i heard [her]_{6121-a nun} history ? " "_[0-i] Yes . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i remember what [we]_3758-we saw that night in the berceau ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i shall never forget it . " "_[0-i] [You]_0-i did not connect the two ideas ; that would be folly ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought of the apparition when [I]_0-i saw the portrait , " said [I]_0-i ; which was true enough . "_[0-i] [You]_0-i did not , nor will [you]_0-i fancy , " pursued [he]_0-i , "_[0-i] that [a saint in heaven]_{3759-a saint in heaven} perturbs [herself]_{3759-a saint in heaven} with rivalries of [earth]_4454-earth ? [Protestants]_{3761-protestants} are rarely superstitious ; these morbid fancies will not beset [you]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i know not what to think of this matter ; but [I]_0-i believe a perfectly natural solution of this seeming mystery will one day be arrived at . " "_[0-i] Doubtless , doubtless . Besides , [no good - living woman]_{3762-no good - living woman} - much less [a pure , happy spirit]_{3763-a pure , happy spirit} - would trouble amity like [ours]_3758-we n'est - il pas vrai ? " Ere [I]_{3762-no good - living woman} could answer , [Fifine Beck]_211-fifine burst in , rosy and abrupt , calling out that [I]_{3762-no good - living woman} was wanted . [[Her]_211-fifine mother]_{550-her mother} was going into [town]_4930-town to call on [some English family]_{7109-some english family} , who had applied for a prospectus : [my]_{3762-no good - living woman} services were needed as [interpreter]_{7110-interpreter} . The interruption was not unseasonable : sufficient for the day is always the evil ; for this hour , its good sufficed . Yet [I]_{3762-no good - living woman} should have liked to ask [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} whether the "_{[3762-no good - living woman]} morbid fancies , " against which [he]_{196-m. paul} warned [me]_{3762-no good - living woman} , wrought in [his]_{196-m. paul} own brain . CHAPTER XXXVI . [THE APPLE OF DISCORD]_{7111-the apple of discord} . Besides [[Fifine Beck]_211-fifine 's mother]_{7112-fifine beck 's mother} , [another power]_{7113-another power} had a word to say to [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} and [me]_{3762-no good - living woman} , before that covenant of friendship could be ratified . [We]_7114-we were under the surveillance of a sleepless eye : [Rome]_54-rome watched jealously [[her]_{7112-fifine beck 's mother} son]_{532-her son} through that mystic lattice at which [I]_{3762-no good - living woman} had knelt once , and to which [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} drew nigh month by month - the sliding panel of the confessional . "_{[3762-no good - living woman]} Why were [you]_3764-you so glad to be friends with [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ? " asks [the reader]_{759-the reader} . "_{[196-m. paul]} Had [he]_3765-he not long been [a friend to [you]_3764-you]_{3766-a friend to you} ? Had [he]_3765-he not given proof on proof of a certain partiality in [his]_3765-he feelings ? " Yes , [he]_3765-he had ; but still [I]_3765-he liked to hear [him]_3765-he say so earnestly - that [he]_3765-he was [[my]_3765-he close , [true friend]_{7118-true friend}]_{7117-my close , true friend} ; [I]_3765-he liked [his]_3765-he modest doubts , [his]_3765-he tender deference - that trust which longed to rest , and was grateful when taught how . [He]_3765-he had called [me]_3765-he ' [sister]_7119-sister . "_[3765-he] It was well . Yes ; [he]_3765-he might call [me]_0-i what [he]_3765-he pleased , so long as [he]_3765-he confided in [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i was willing to be [[his]_3765-he sister]_{3478-his sister} , on condition that [he]_3765-he did not invite [me]_0-i to fill that relation to [some future wife of [his]_3765-he]_{3768-some future wife of his} ; and tacitly vowed as [he]_3765-he was to celibacy , of this dilemma there seemed little danger . Through most of the succeeding night [I]_0-i pondered that evening 's interview . [I]_0-i wanted much the morning to break , and then listened for the bell to ring ; and , after rising and dressing , [I]_0-i deemed prayers and breakfast slow , and all the hours lingering , till that arrived at last which brought [me]_0-i the lesson of literature . [My]_0-i wish was to get a more thorough comprehension of this fraternal alliance : to note with how much of [the brother]_{3769-the brother} [he]_3765-he would demean [himself]_3765-he when [we]_3770-we met again ; to prove how much of [the sister]_{3771-the sister} was in [my]_0-i own feelings ; to discover whether [I]_0-i could summon [a sister]_{1384-a sister} 's courage , and [he]_3765-he [a brother]_{2479-a brother} 's frankness . [He]_3765-he came . Life is so constructed , that the event does not , can not , will not , match the expectation . That whole day [he]_3765-he never accosted [me]_0-i . [His]_3765-he lesson was given rather more quietly than usual , more mildly , and also more gravely . [He]_3765-he was fatherly to [[his]_3765-he pupils]_{6651-his pupils} , but [he]_3765-he was not brotherly to [me]_0-i . Ere [he]_3765-he left the classe , [I]_0-i expected a smile , if not a word ; [I]_0-i got neither : to [my]_0-i portion fell one nod - hurried , shy . This distance , [I]_0-i argued , is accidental - it is involuntary ; patience , and it will vanish . It vanished not ; it continued for days ; it increased . [I]_0-i suppressed [my]_0-i surprise , and swallowed whatever other feelings began to surge . Well might [I]_0-i ask when [he]_3765-he offered fraternity - " Dare [I]_3765-he rely on [you]_0-i ? "_[3765-he] Well might [he]_3765-he , doubtless knowing [himself]_3765-he , withhold all pledge . True , [he]_3765-he had bid [me]_0-i make [my]_0-i own experiments - tease and try [him]_3765-he . Vain injunction ! Privilege nominal and unavailable ! [Some women]_{3775-some women} might use it ! Nothing in [my]_0-i powers or instinct placed [me]_0-i amongst [this brave band]_{3776-this brave band} . Left alone , [I]_0-i was passive ; repulsed , [I]_0-i withdrew ; forgotten - [my]_0-i lips would not utter , nor [my]_0-i eyes dart a reminder . It seemed there had been an error somewhere in [my]_0-i calculations , and [I]_0-i wanted for time to disclose it . But the day came when , as usual , [he]_3765-he was to give [me]_0-i a lesson . One evening in seven [he]_3765-he had long generously bestowed on [me]_0-i , devoting it to the examination of what had been done in various studies during the past week , and to the preparation of work for the week in prospect . On these occasions [[my]_0-i schoolroom]_{3777-my schoolroom} was anywhere , wherever [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} and [the other teachers]_{5049-the other teachers} happened to be , or in [[their]_{3775-some women} close vicinage]_{3780-their close vicinage} , very often in [the large second division]_{3781-the large second division} , where it was easy to choose a quiet nook when [the crowding day pupils]_{3782-the crowding day pupils} were absent , and [the few boarders]_{3783-the few boarders} gathered in a knot about the surveillante 's estrade . On the customary evening , hearing the customary hour strike , [I]_0-i collected [my]_0-i books and papers , [my]_0-i pen and ink , and sought [the large division]_{3784-the large division} . In classe there was [no one]_{2867-no one} , and it lay all in cool deep shadow ; but through the open double doors was seen [the carre]_{4820-the carre} , filled with [pupils and with light]_{3787-pupils and with light} ; over hall and figures blushed the westering sun . It blushed so ruddily and vividly , that the hues of the walls and the variegated tints of the dresses seemed all fused in one warm glow . [The , girls]_{3788-the , girls} were seated , working or studying ; in the midst of [their]_{3788-the , girls} circle stood [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , speaking good - humouredly to [a teacher]_{4895-a teacher} . [His]_{196-m. paul} dark paletot , [his]_{196-m. paul} jetty hair , were tinged with many a reflex of crimson ; [his]_{196-m. paul} Spanish face , when [he]_{196-m. paul} turned it momentarily , answered the sun 's animated kiss with an animated smile . [I]_0-i took [my]_0-i place at a desk . The orange - trees , and several plants , full and bright with bloom , basked also in the sun 's laughing bounty ; [they]_{3788-the , girls} had partaken it the whole day , and now asked water . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} had a taste for gardening ; [he]_{196-m. paul} liked to tend and foster plants . [I]_0-i used to think that working amongst shrubs with a spade or a watering - pot soothed [his]_{196-m. paul} nerves ; it was a recreation to which [he]_{196-m. paul} often had recourse ; and now be looked to the orange - trees , the geraniums , the gorgeous cactuses , and revived them all with the refreshment [their]_{3788-the , girls} drought needed . [His]_{196-m. paul} lips meantime sustained [his]_{196-m. paul} precious cigar , that for [him]_{196-m. paul} first necessary and prime luxury of life ; its blue wreaths curled prettily enough amongst the flowers , and in the evening light . [He]_{196-m. paul} spoke no more to [the pupils]_{1102-the pupils} , nor to [the mistresses]_{3791-the mistresses} , but gave many an endearing word to [a small spanieless]_{3792-a small spanieless} if [one]_607-one may coin a word , that nominally belonged to [the house]_{518-the house} , but virtually owned [him]_{196-m. paul} as [master]_5663-master , being fonder of [him]_{196-m. paul} than [any inmate]_{3796-any inmate} . [A delicate , silky , loving , and lovable little doggie]_{3797-a delicate , silky , loving , and lovable little doggie} [she]_{3797-a delicate , silky , loving , and lovable little doggie} was , trotting at [his]_{196-m. paul} side , looking with expressive , attached eyes into [his]_{196-m. paul} face ; and whenever [he]_{196-m. paul} dropped [his]_{196-m. paul} bonnet - grec or [his]_{196-m. paul} handkerchief , which [he]_{196-m. paul} occasionally did in play , crouching beside it with the air of a miniature lion guarding [a kingdom]_{3798-a kingdom} 's flag . There were many plants , and as [the amateur gardener]_{3799-the amateur gardener} fetched all the water from the well in [the court]_{1612-the court} , with [his]_{3799-the amateur gardener} own active hands , [his]_{3799-the amateur gardener} work spun on to some length . The great school - clock ticked on . Another hour struck . [The carre]_{4820-the carre} and [the youthful group]_{3802-the youthful group} lost the illusion of sunset . Day was drooping . [My]_0-i lesson , [I]_0-i perceived , must to - night be very short ; but the orange - trees , the cacti , the camelias were all served now . Was it [my]_0-i turn ? Alas ! in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} were more plants to be looked after , - favourite rose - bushes , certain choice flowers ; little [Sylvie]_444-sylvie 's glad bark and whine followed the receding paletot down [the alleys]_{4907-the alleys} . [I]_0-i put up some of [my]_0-i books ; [I]_0-i should not want them all ; [I]_0-i sat and thought ; and waited , involuntarily deprecating the creeping invasion of twilight . [Sylvie]_444-sylvie , gaily frisking , emerged into view once more , heralding the returning paletot ; the watering - pot was deposited beside the well ; it had fulfilled [its]_3805-its office ; how glad [I]_0-i was ! [Monsieur]_{3806-monsieur} washed [his]_{3806-monsieur} hands in a little stone bowl . There was no longer time for a lesson now ; ere long the prayer - bell must ring ; but still [we]_3807-we should meet ; [he]_{3806-monsieur} would speak ; a chance would be offered of reading in [his]_{3806-monsieur} eyes the riddle of [his]_{3806-monsieur} shyness . [His]_{3806-monsieur} ablutions over , [he]_{3806-monsieur} stood , slowly re - arranging [his]_{3806-monsieur} cuffs , looking at the horn of a young moon , set pale in the opal sky , and glimmering faint on the oriel of [Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste} . [Sylvie]_444-sylvie watched the mood contemplative ; its stillness irked [her]_444-sylvie ; [she]_444-sylvie whined and jumped to break it . [He]_{3806-monsieur} looked down . " Petite exigeante , "_{[3806-monsieur]} said [he]_{3806-monsieur} ; " [you]_444-sylvie must not be forgotten one moment , it seems . "_{[3806-monsieur]} [He]_{3806-monsieur} stopped , lifted [her]_444-sylvie in [his]_{3806-monsieur} arms , sauntered across [the court]_{1612-the court} , within a yard of the line of windows near one of which [I]_0-i sat : [he]_{3806-monsieur} sauntered lingeringly , fondling the spaniel in [his]_{3806-monsieur} bosom , calling [her]_444-sylvie tender names in a tender voice . On the front - door steps [he]_{3806-monsieur} turned ; once again [he]_{3806-monsieur} looked at the moon , at [the grey cathedral]_{3809-the grey cathedral} , over the remoter spires and [house - roofs]_{3810-house - roofs} fading into a blue sea of night - mist ; [he]_{3806-monsieur} tasted the sweet breath of dusk , and noted the folded bloom of [the garden]_{1165-the garden} ; [he]_{3806-monsieur} suddenly looked round ; a keen beam out of [his]_{3806-monsieur} eye rased the white facade of [the classes]_{4828-the classes} , swept the long line of croisees . [I]_0-i think [he]_{3806-monsieur} bowed ; if [he]_{3806-monsieur} did , [I]_0-i had no time to return the courtesy . In a moment [he]_{3806-monsieur} was gone ; the moonlit threshold lay pale and shadowless before the closed front door . Gathering in [my]_0-i arms all that was spread on the desk before [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i carried back the unused heap to [its]_3813-its place in [the third classe]_{3814-the third classe} . The prayer - bell rang ; [I]_0-i obeyed its summons . The morrow would not restore [him]_{3806-monsieur} to [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} , that day being devoted entirely to [[his]_{3806-monsieur} college]_{3815-his college} . [I]_0-i got through [my]_0-i teaching ; [I]_0-i got over the intermediate hours ; [I]_0-i saw evening approaching , and armed [myself]_0-i for its heavy ennuis . Whether it was worse to stay with [[my]_0-i co - inmates]_{2337-my co - inmates} , or to sit alone , [I]_0-i had not considered ; [I]_0-i naturally took up the latter alternative ; if there was a hope of comfort for any moment , the heart or head of [no human being]_{3817-no human being} in [this house]_{5145-this house} could yield it ; only under the lid of [my]_0-i desk could it harbour , nestling between the leaves of some book , gilding a pencil - point , the nib of a pen , or tinging the black fluid in that ink - glass . With a heavy heart [I]_0-i opened [my]_0-i desk - lid ; with a weary hand [I]_0-i turned up its contents . One by one , well - accustomed books , volumes sewn in familiar covers , were taken out and put back hopeless : they had no charm ; they could not comfort . Is this something new , this pamphlet in lilac ? [I]_0-i had not seen it before , and [I]_0-i re - arranged [my]_0-i desk this very day - this very afternoon ; the tract must have been introduced within the last hour , while [we]_3819-we were at dinner . [I]_0-i opened it . What was it ? What would it say to [me]_0-i ? It was neither tale nor poem , neither essay nor history ; it neither sung , nor related , not discussed . It was a theological work ; it preached and it persuaded . [I]_0-i lent to it [my]_0-i ear very willingly , for , small as it was , it possessed its own spell , and bound [my]_0-i attention at once . It preached Romanism ; it persuaded to conversion . The voice of that sly little book was a honeyed voice ; its accents were all unction and balm . Here roared no utterance of [Rome]_54-rome 's thunders , no blasting of the breath of [her]_3820-her displeasure . [The Protestant]_{3821-the protestant} was to turn [Papist]_3822-papist , not so much in fear of [the heretic]_{3823-the heretic} 's hell , as on account of the comfort , the indulgence , the tenderness [Holy Church]_{107-holy church} offered : far be it from [her]_3820-her to threaten or to coerce ; [her]_3820-her wish was to guide and win . [She]_3820-her persecute ? Oh dear no ! not on any account ! This meek volume was not addressed to [the hardened and worldly]_{3824-the hardened and worldly} ; it was not even strong meat for the strong : it was milk for [babes]_3825-babes : the mild effluence of [a mother]_{4301-a mother} 's love towards [her]_{4301-a mother} tenderest and [[her]_{4301-a mother} youngest]_{3827-her youngest} ; intended wholly and solely for [those whose head is to be reached through the heart]_{3828-those whose head is to be reached through the heart} . Its appeal was not to intellect ; it sought to win the affectionate through [their]_{3828-those whose head is to be reached through the heart} affections , the sympathizing through [their]_{3828-those whose head is to be reached through the heart} sympathies : [St. Vincent de Paul]_{170-st. paul} , gathering [[his]_{170-st. paul} orphans]_{3829-his orphans} about [him]_{170-st. paul} , never spoke more sweetly . [I]_0-i remember one capital inducement to apostacy was held out in the fact that [the Catholic who had lost [dear friends by death]_{3831-dear friends by death}]_{3830-the catholic who had lost dear friends by death} could enjoy the unspeakable solace of praying [them]_{3831-dear friends by death} out of purgatory . [The writer]_{2334-the writer} did not touch on the firmer peace of [those whose belief dispenses with purgatory altogether]_{3833-those whose belief dispenses with purgatory altogether} : but [I]_0-i thought of this ; and , on the whole , preferred the latter doctrine as the most consolatory . The little book amused , and did not painfully displease [me]_0-i . It was a canting , sentimental , shallow little book , yet something about it cheered [my]_0-i gloom and made [me]_0-i smile ; [I]_0-i was amused with the gambols of [this unlicked wolf - cub muffled in the fleece , and mimicking the bleat of a guileless lamb]_{3834-this unlicked wolf - cub muffled in the fleece , and mimicking the bleat of a guileless lamb} . Portions of it reminded [me]_0-i of certain Wesleyan Methodist tracts [I]_0-i had once read when [a child]_{4415-a child} ; they were flavoured with about the same seasoning of excitation to fanaticism . [He]_{2334-the writer} that had written it was [no bad man]_{3836-no bad man} , and while perpetually betraying the trained cunning - the cloven hoof of [his]_{2334-the writer} system - [I]_0-i should pause before accusing [himself]_{2334-the writer} of insincerity . [His]_{2334-the writer} judgment , however , wanted surgical props ; it was rickety . [I]_0-i smiled then over this dose of maternal tenderness , coming from [the ruddy old lady of the Seven Hills]_{3837-the ruddy old lady of the seven hills} ; smiled , too , at [my]_0-i own disinclination , not to say disability , to meet these melting favours . Glancing at the title - page , [I]_0-i found the name of " [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} . "_[0-i] A fly- leaf bore in small , but clear and well - known pencil characters : " From P. C. D. E. to L - y. "_[0-i] And when [I]_0-i saw this [I]_0-i laughed : but not in [my]_0-i former spirit . [I]_0-i was revived . A mortal bewilderment cleared suddenly from [my]_0-i head and vision ; the solution of the Sphinx - riddle was won ; the conjunction of those two names , [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} and [Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , gave the key to all . [The penitent]_{3838-the penitent} had been with [[his]_{3838-the penitent} director]_{3839-his director} ; permitted to withhold nothing ; suffered to keep no corner of [his]_{3838-the penitent} heart sacred to [God]_164-god and to [himself]_{3838-the penitent} ; the whole narrative of [our]_3840-our late interview had been drawn from [him]_{3838-the penitent} ; [he]_{3838-the penitent} had avowed the covenant of fraternity , and spoken of [[his]_{3838-the penitent} adopted sister]_{3841-his adopted sister} . How could such a covenant , such adoption , be sanctioned by [the Church]_{108-the church} ? Fraternal communion with [a heretic]_{3842-a heretic} ! [I]_0-i seemed to hear [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} annulling the unholy pact ; warning [his]_{3838-the penitent} penitent of its perils ; entreating , enjoining reserve , nay , by the authority of [[his]_{3838-the penitent} office]_{3843-his office} , and in the name , and by the memory of all [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} held most dear and sacred , commanding the enforcement of that new system whose frost had pierced to the marrow of [my]_0-i bones . These may not seem pleasant hypotheses ; yet , by comparison , they were welcome . The vision of [a ghostly troubler hovering in the background]_{3844-a ghostly troubler hovering in the background} , was as nothing , matched with the fear of spontaneous change arising in [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} [himself]_{196-m. paul} . At this distance of time , [I]_0-i can not be sure how far the above conjectures were self - suggested : or in what measure [they]_3845-they owed [their]_3845-they origin and confirmation to another quarter . [Help]_445-help was not wanting . This evening there was no bright sunset : [west and east]_{3846-west and east} were one cloud ; no summer night - mist , blue , yet rose - tinged , softened the distance ; a clammy fog from [the marshes]_{3847-the marshes} crept grey round [Villette]_3-villette . To - night the watering - pot might rest in its niche by the well : a small rain had been drizzling all the afternoon , and still it fell fast and quietly . This was no weather for rambling in [the wet alleys]_{3848-the wet alleys} , under the dripping trees ; and [I]_0-i started to hear [Sylvie]_444-sylvie 's sudden bark in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} - [her]_444-sylvie bark of welcome . Surely [she]_444-sylvie was not accompanied and yet this glad , quick bark was never uttered , save in homage to one presence . Through the glass door and the arching berceau , [I]_0-i commanded [the deep vista of [the allee defendue]_{3851-the allee defendue}]_{3850-the deep vista of the allee defendue} : thither rushed [Sylvie]_444-sylvie , glistening through [its]_444-sylvie gloom like a white guelder - rose . [She]_444-sylvie ran to and fro , whining , springing , harassing little birds amongst the bushes . [I]_0-i watched five minutes ; no fulfilment followed the omen . [I]_0-i returned to [my]_0-i books ; [Sylvie]_444-sylvie 's sharp bark suddenly ceased . Again [I]_0-i looked up . [She]_444-sylvie was standing not many yards distant , wagging [her]_444-sylvie white feathery tail as fast as the muscle would work , and intently watching the operations of a spade , plied fast by an indefatigable hand . There was [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , bent over the soil , digging in the wet mould amongst the rain - laden and streaming shrubs , working as hard as if [his]_{196-m. paul} day 's pittance were yet to earn by the literal sweat of [his]_{196-m. paul} brow . In this sign [I]_0-i read a ruffled mood . [He]_{196-m. paul} would dig thus in frozen snow on the coldest winter day , when urged inwardly by painful emotion , whether of nervous excitation , or , sad thoughts of self - reproach . [He]_{196-m. paul} would dig by the hour , with knit brow and set teeth , nor once lift [his]_{196-m. paul} head , or open [his]_{196-m. paul} lips . [Sylvie]_444-sylvie watched till [she]_444-sylvie was tired . Again scampering devious , bounding here , rushing there , snuffing and sniffing everywhere ; [she]_444-sylvie at last discovered [me]_0-i in classe . Instantly [she]_444-sylvie flew barking at the panes , as if to urge [me]_0-i forth to share [her]_444-sylvie pleasure or [[her]_444-sylvie master]_{3852-her master} 's toil ; [she]_444-sylvie had seen [me]_0-i occasionally walking in [that alley]_{3853-that alley} with [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ; and [I]_0-i doubt not , considered it [my]_0-i duty to join [him]_{196-m. paul} now , wet as it was . [She]_444-sylvie made such a bustle that [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} at last looked up , and of course perceived why , and at whom [she]_444-sylvie barked . [He]_{196-m. paul} whistled to call [her]_444-sylvie off ; [she]_444-sylvie only barked the louder . [She]_444-sylvie seemed quite bent upon having the glass door opened . Tired , [I]_0-i suppose , with [her]_444-sylvie importunity , [he]_{196-m. paul} threw down [his]_{196-m. paul} spade , approached , and pushed the door ajar . [Sylvie]_444-sylvie burst in all impetuous , sprang to [my]_0-i lap , and with [her]_444-sylvie paws at [my]_0-i neck , and [her]_444-sylvie little nose and tongue somewhat overpoweringly busy about [my]_0-i face , mouth , and eyes , flourished [her]_444-sylvie bushy tail over the desk , and scattered books and papers far and wide . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} advanced to still the clamour and repair the disarrangement . Having gathered up the books , [he]_{196-m. paul} captured [Sylvie]_444-sylvie , and stowed [her]_444-sylvie away under [his]_{196-m. paul} paletot , where [she]_444-sylvie nestled as quiet as a mouse , [her]_444-sylvie head just peeping forth . [She]_444-sylvie was very tiny , and had the prettiest little innocent face , the silkiest long ears , the finest dark eyes in [the world]_{811-the world} . [I]_0-i never saw [her]_444-sylvie , but [I]_0-i thought of [Paulina de Bassompierre]_141-paulina : forgive the association , [reader]_4604-reader , it would occur . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} petted and patted [her]_444-sylvie ; the endearments [she]_444-sylvie received were not to be wondered at ; [she]_444-sylvie invited affection by [her]_444-sylvie beauty and [her]_444-sylvie vivacious life . While caressing the spaniel , [his]_{196-m. paul} eye roved over the papers and books just replaced ; it settled on the religious tract . [His]_{196-m. paul} lips moved ; [he]_{196-m. paul} half checked the impulse to speak . What ! had [he]_{196-m. paul} promised never to address [me]_0-i more ? If so , [his]_{196-m. paul} better nature pronounced the vow " more honoured in the breach than in the observance , "_{[196-m. paul]} for with a second effort , [he]_{196-m. paul} spoke . - " [You]_0-i have not yet read the brochure , [I]_{196-m. paul} presume ? It is not sufficiently inviting ? "_{[196-m. paul]} [I]_0-i replied that [I]_0-i had read it . [He]_{196-m. paul} waited , as if wishing [me]_0-i to give an opinion upon it unasked . Unasked , however , [I]_0-i was in no mood to do or say anything . If any concessions were to be made - if any advances were demanded - that was the affair of [the very docile pupil of [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas}]_{3856-the very docile pupil of pere silas} , not [mine]_0-i . [His]_{196-m. paul} eye settled upon [me]_0-i gently : there was mildness at the moment in its blue ray - there was solicitude - a shade of pathos ; there were meanings composite and contrasted - reproach melting into remorse . At the moment probably , [he]_{196-m. paul} would have been glad to see something emotional in [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i could not show it . In another minute , however , [I]_0-i should have betrayed confusion , had [I]_0-i not bethought [myself]_0-i to take some quill - pens from [my]_0-i desk , and begin soberly to mend them . [I]_0-i knew that action would give a turn to [his]_{196-m. paul} mood . [He]_{196-m. paul} never liked to see [me]_0-i mend pens ; [my]_0-i knife was always dull - edged - [my]_0-i hand , too , was unskilful ; [I]_0-i hacked and chipped . On this occasion [I]_0-i cut [my]_0-i own finger - half on purpose . [I]_0-i wanted to restore [him]_{196-m. paul} to [his]_{196-m. paul} natural state , to set [him]_{196-m. paul} at [his]_{196-m. paul} ease , to get [him]_{196-m. paul} to chide . " [Maladroit]_{446-maladroit} ! "_{[196-m. paul]} [he]_{196-m. paul} cried at last , ' [she]_3857-she will make mincemeat of [her]_3857-she hands . " [He]_{196-m. paul} put [Sylvie]_444-sylvie down , making [her]_444-sylvie lie quiet beside [his]_{196-m. paul} bonnet - grec , and , depriving [me]_{196-m. paul} of the pens and penknife , proceeded to slice , nib , and point with the accuracy and celerity of a machine . "_{[196-m. paul]} Did [I]_0-i like the little book ? " [he]_{196-m. paul} now inquired . Suppressing a yawn , [I]_0-i said [I]_0-i hardly knew . "_[0-i] Had it moved [me]_0-i ? " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i thought it had made [me]_0-i a little sleepy . " After a pause : "_[0-i] Allons donc ! It was of no use taking that tone with [him]_{196-m. paul} . Bad as [I]_0-i was - and [he]_{196-m. paul} should be sorry to have to name all [my]_0-i faults at a breath - [God]_164-god and nature had given [me]_0-i ' trop de sensibilite et de sympathie ' not to be profoundly affected by an appeal so touching . " "_{[196-m. paul]} Indeed ! " [I]_{196-m. paul} responded , rousing [myself]_{196-m. paul} quickly , "_{[196-m. paul]} [I]_0-i was not affected at all - not a whit . " And in proof , [I]_{196-m. paul} drew from [my]_{196-m. paul} pocket a perfectly dry handkerchief , still clean and in its folds . Hereupon [I]_{196-m. paul} was made the object of a string of strictures rather piquant than polite . [I]_{196-m. paul} listened with zest . After those two days of unnatural silence , it was better than music to hear [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} haranguing again just in [his]_{196-m. paul} old fashion . [I]_{196-m. paul} listened , and meantime solaced [myself]_{196-m. paul} and [Sylvie]_444-sylvie with the contents of a bonbonniere , which [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's gifts kept well supplied with chocolate comfits : It pleased [him]_{196-m. paul} to see even a small matter from [his]_{196-m. paul} hand duly appreciated . [He]_{196-m. paul} looked at [me]_{196-m. paul} and the spaniel while [we]_7120-we shared the spoil ; [he]_{196-m. paul} put up [his]_{196-m. paul} penknife . Touching [my]_{196-m. paul} hand with the bundle of new - cut quills , [he]_{196-m. paul} said : - "_{[196-m. paul]} Dites donc , [petite soeur]_{3858-petite soeur} - speak frankly - what have [you]_{3858-petite soeur} thought of [me]_0-i during the last two days ? " But of this question [I]_{3858-petite soeur} would take no manner of notice ; its purport made [my]_{3858-petite soeur} eyes fill . [I]_{3858-petite soeur} caressed [Sylvie]_444-sylvie assiduously . M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} , leaning - over the desk , bent towards [me]_{3858-petite soeur} : - "_{[3858-petite soeur]} [I]_0-i called [myself]_0-i [[your]_{3858-petite soeur} brother]_{3859-your brother} , " [he]_0-i said : "_[0-i] [I]_0-i hardly know what [I]_0-i am - [brother]_3860-brother - [friend]_5752-friend - [I]_0-i can not tell . [I]_0-i know [I]_0-i think of [you]_{3858-petite soeur} - [I]_0-i feel [I]_0-i wish , [you]_{3858-petite soeur} well - but [I]_0-i must check [myself]_0-i ; [you]_{3858-petite soeur} are to be feared . [[My]_0-i best friends]_{3862-my best friends} point out danger , and whisper caution . " "_{[3862-my best friends]} [You]_{3858-petite soeur} do right to listen to [[your]_{3858-petite soeur} friends]_{3167-your friends} . By all means be cautious . " "_{[3862-my best friends]} It is [your]_{3858-petite soeur} religion - [your]_{3858-petite soeur} strange , self - reliant , invulnerable creed , whose influence seems to clothe [you]_{3858-petite soeur} in , [I]_0-i know not what , unblessed panoply . [You]_{3858-petite soeur} are good - [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} calls [you]_{3858-petite soeur} good , and loves [you]_{3858-petite soeur} - but [your]_{3858-petite soeur} terrible , proud , earnest Protestantism , there is the danger . It expresses itself by [your]_{3858-petite soeur} eye at times ; and again , it gives [you]_{3858-petite soeur} certain tones and certain gestures that make [my]_0-i flesh creep . [You]_{3858-petite soeur} are not demonstrative , and yet , just now - when [you]_{3858-petite soeur} handled that tract - [[my]_0-i God]_{3864-my god} ! [I]_0-i thought [Lucifer]_262-lucifer smiled . " "_{[262-lucifer]} Certainly [I]_0-i do n't respect that tract - what then ? " "_[0-i] Not respect that tract ? But it is the pure essence of faith , love , charity ! [I]_0-i thought it would touch [you]_{3858-petite soeur} : in its gentleness , [I]_0-i trusted that it could not fail . [I]_0-i laid it in [your]_{3858-petite soeur} desk with a prayer : [I]_0-i must indeed be [a sinner]_{3865-a sinner} : [Heaven]_188-heaven will not hear the petitions that come warmest from [my]_0-i heart . [You]_{3858-petite soeur} scorn [my]_0-i little offering . Oh , cela [me]_0-i fait mal ! " "_{[3866-monsieur]} [Monsieur]_{3866-monsieur} , [I]_0-i do n't scorn it - at least , not as [your]_{3866-monsieur} gift . [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , sit down ; listen to [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i am not [a heathen]_{3868-a heathen} , [I]_0-i am not hard - hearted , [I]_0-i am not unchristian , [I]_0-i am not dangerous , as [they]_3869-they tell [you]_{3866-monsieur} ; [I]_0-i would not trouble [your]_{3866-monsieur} faith ; [you]_{3866-monsieur} believe in [God]_164-god and [Christ]_447-christ and the Bible , and so do [I.]_0-i " "_[0-i] But do [you]_{3866-monsieur} believe in the Bible ? Do [you]_{3866-monsieur} receive Revelation ? What limits are there to the wild , careless daring of [[your]_{3866-monsieur} country]_{3870-your country} and sect . [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} dropped dark hints . " By dint of persuasion , [I]_{289-pere silas} made [him]_{289-pere silas} half - define these hints ; they amounted to crafty Jesuit - slanders . That night [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} and [I]_{289-pere silas} talked seriously and closely . [He]_{289-pere silas} pleaded , [he]_{289-pere silas} argued . [I]_{289-pere silas} could not argue - a fortunate incapacity ; it needed but triumphant , logical opposition to effect all [the director]_{7121-the director} wished to be effected ; but [I]_{289-pere silas} could talk in [my]_{289-pere silas} own way - the way [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} was used to - and of which [he]_{289-pere silas} could follow the meanderings and fill the hiatus , and pardon the strange stammerings , strange to [him]_{289-pere silas} no longer . At ease with [him]_{289-pere silas} , [I]_{289-pere silas} could defend [my]_{289-pere silas} creed and faith in [my]_{289-pere silas} own fashion ; in some degree [I]_{289-pere silas} could lull [his]_{289-pere silas} prejudices . [He]_{289-pere silas} was not satisfied when [he]_{289-pere silas} went away , hardly was [he]_{289-pere silas} appeased ; but [he]_{289-pere silas} was made thoroughly to feel that [Protestants]_{412-protestants} were not necessarily [the irreverent Pagans [[his]_{289-pere silas} director]_{3839-his director} had insinuated]_{7122-the irreverent pagans his director had insinuated} ; [he]_{289-pere silas} was made to comprehend something of [their]_{412-protestants} mode of honouring the Light , the Life , the Word ; [he]_{289-pere silas} was enabled partly to perceive that , while [their]_{412-protestants} veneration for things venerable was not quite like that cultivated in [[his]_{289-pere silas} Church]_{7124-his church} , it had [its]_{7124-his church} own , perhaps , deeper power - [its]_{7124-his church} own more solemn awe . [I]_{289-pere silas} found that [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} [himself]_{289-pere silas} , [I]_{289-pere silas} must repeat , not [a bad man]_{7125-a bad man} , though [the advocate of a bad cause]_{7126-the advocate of a bad cause} had darkly stigmatized [Protestants]_{412-protestants} in general , and [myself]_{289-pere silas} by inference , with strange names , had ascribed to [us]_7127-us strange "_{[289-pere silas]} isms ; " [Monsieur Emanuel]_{384-monsieur paul} revealed all this in [his]_{384-monsieur paul} frank fashion , which knew not secretiveness , looking at [me]_{429-justine marie} as [he]_{384-monsieur paul} spoke with a kind , earnest fear , almost trembling lest there should be truth in the charges . [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} , it seems , had closely watched [me]_{429-justine marie} , had ascertained that [I]_{429-justine marie} went by turns , and indiscriminately , to [the three Protestant Chapels of [Villette]_3-villette]_{7128-the three protestant chapels of villette} - the French , German , and English - [i]_{429-justine marie} d est , [the Presbyterian , Lutheran , Episcopalian]_{7129-the presbyterian , lutheran , episcopalian} . Such liberality argued in [the father]_{2571-the father} 's eyes profound indifference - who tolerates all , [he]_{289-pere silas} reasoned , can be attached to none . Now , it happened that [I]_{429-justine marie} had often secretly wondered at the minute and unimportant character of the differences between [these three sects]_{7131-these three sects} - at the unity and identity of [their]_{7131-these three sects} vital doctrines : [I]_{429-justine marie} saw nothing to hinder [them]_{7131-these three sects} from being one day fused into one grand Holy Alliance , and [I]_{429-justine marie} respected [them]_{7131-these three sects} all , though [I]_{429-justine marie} thought that in each there were faults of form , incumbrances , and trivialities . Just what [I]_{429-justine marie} thought , that did [I]_{429-justine marie} tell [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , and explained to [him]_{196-m. paul} that [my]_{429-justine marie} own last appeal , the guide to which [I]_{429-justine marie} looked , and [the teacher which [I]_{429-justine marie} owned]_{7132-the teacher which i owned} , must always be the Bible itself , rather than any sect , of whatever name or [nation]_7133-nation . [He]_{196-m. paul} left [me]_{429-justine marie} soothed , yet full of solicitude , breathing a wish , as strong as a prayer , that if [I]_{429-justine marie} were wrong , [Heaven]_188-heaven would lead [me]_{429-justine marie} right . [I]_{429-justine marie} heard , poured forth on the threshold , some fervid murmurings to "_{[429-justine marie]} [Marie]_{429-justine marie} , [Reine du Ciel]_{448-reine du ciel} , " some deep aspiration that [his]_{196-m. paul} hope might yet be [mine]_{429-justine marie} . Strange ! [I]_{448-reine du ciel} had no such feverish wish to turn [him]_{196-m. paul} from the faith of [[his]_{196-m. paul} fathers]_{7134-his fathers} . [I]_{448-reine du ciel} thought Romanism wrong , a great mixed image of gold and clay ; but it seemed to [me]_{448-reine du ciel} that [this Romanist]_{7135-this romanist} held the purer elements of [his]_{7135-this romanist} creed with an innocency of heart which [God]_164-god must love . The preceding conversation passed between eight and nine o'clock of the evening , in [a schoolroom of the quiet Rue Fossette]_{7136-a schoolroom of the quiet rue fossette} , opening on [a sequestered garden]_{7137-a sequestered garden} . Probably about the same , or a somewhat later hour of the succeeding evening , its echoes , collected by holy obedience , were breathed verbatim in an attent ear , at the panel of a confessional , in [the hoary church of [the Magi]_{3534-the magi}]_{7138-the hoary church of the magi} . It ensued that [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} paid a visit to [Madame Beck]_190-madame , and stirred by [I]_{448-reine du ciel} know not what mixture of motives , persuaded [her]_190-madame to let [him]_{289-pere silas} undertake for a time [the Englishwoman]_{1627-the englishwoman} 's spiritual direction . Hereupon [I]_{448-reine du ciel} was put through a course of reading - that is , [I]_{448-reine du ciel} just glanced at the books lent [me]_{448-reine du ciel} ; they were too little in [my]_{448-reine du ciel} way to be thoroughly read , marked , learned , or inwardly digested . And besides , [I]_{448-reine du ciel} had a book up - stairs , under [my]_{448-reine du ciel} pillow , whereof certain chapters satisfied [my]_{448-reine du ciel} needs in the article of spiritual lore , furnishing such precept and example as , to [my]_{448-reine du ciel} heart 's core , [I]_{448-reine du ciel} was convinced could not be improved on . Then [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} showed [me]_{448-reine du ciel} [the fair side of [Rome]_54-rome]_{7141-the fair side of rome} , [her]_190-madame good works ; and bade [me]_{448-reine du ciel} judge the tree by its fruits . In answer , [I]_{448-reine du ciel} felt and [I]_{448-reine du ciel} avowed that these works were not the fruits of [Rome]_54-rome ; they were but [her]_190-madame abundant blossoming , but the fair promise [she]_190-madame showed [the world]_{811-the world} , That bloom , when set , savoured not of charity ; the apple full formed was ignorance , abasement , and bigotry . Out of [men]_4397-men 's afflictions and affections were forged the rivets of [their]_4397-men servitude . [Poverty]_449-poverty was fed and clothed , and sheltered , to bind it by obligation to "_{[448-reine du ciel]} [the Church]_{5217-the church} ; " orphanage was reared and educated that it might grow up in the fold of "_{[5217-the church]} [the Church]_{5217-the church} ; " sickness was tended that it might die after the formula and in the ordinance of "_{[448-reine du ciel]} [the Church]_{5217-the church} ; " and [men]_4397-men were overwrought , and [women]_4398-women most murderously sacrificed , and all laid down a world [God]_164-god made pleasant for [[his]_164-god creatures]_{7146-his creatures} ' good , and took up a cross , monstrous in its galling weight , that [they]_{7146-his creatures} might serve [Rome]_54-rome , prove [her]_190-madame sanctity , confirm [her]_190-madame power , and spread the reign of [her]_190-madame tyrant "_{[448-reine du ciel]} Church . " For [man]_618-man 's good was little done ; for [God]_164-god 's glory , less . A thousand ways were opened with pain , with blood - sweats , with lavishing of life ; mountains were cloven through [their]_4397-men breasts , and rocks were split to their base ; and all for what ? That [a Priesthood]_{7148-a priesthood} might march straight on and straight upward to an all - dominating eminence , whence [they]_{7148-a priesthood} might at last stretch the sceptre of [[their]_{7148-a priesthood} Moloch "_{[448-reine du ciel]} Church]_{7149-their moloch " church} . " It will not be . [God]_164-god is not with [Rome]_54-rome , and , were human sorrows still for [the Son of God]_{7150-the son of god} , would [he]_{7150-the son of god} not mourn over [her]_190-madame cruelties and ambitions , as once [he]_{7150-the son of god} mourned over the crimes and woes of doomed [Jerusalem]_{109-jerusalem} ! Oh , [[lovers of power !]_{7151-lovers of power !}]_{7151-lovers of power !} Oh , mitred aspirants for [[this world]_{4390-this world} 's kingdoms]_{7154-this world 's kingdoms} ! an hour will come , even to [you]_7155-you , when it will be well for [your]_7155-you hearts - pausing faint at each broken beat - that there is a Mercy beyond human compassions , a Love , stronger than this strong death which even [you]_7155-you must face , and before it , fall ; a Charity more potent than any sin , even [yours]_7155-you ; a Pity which redeems worlds - nay , absolves [Priests]_7156-priests . [My]_0-i third temptation was held out in the pomp of [Rome]_54-rome - the glory of [[her]_190-madame kingdom]_{7157-her kingdom} . [I]_0-i was taken to [the churches]_{7158-the churches} on solemn occasions - days of fete and state ; [I]_0-i was shown the Papal ritual and ceremonial . [I]_0-i looked at it . [Many people]_{844-many people} - [men]_4397-men and [women]_4398-women - no doubt far [[my]_0-i superiors]_{7162-my superiors} in a thousand ways , have felt this display impressive , have declared that though [their]_{844-many people} Reason protested , [their]_{844-many people} Imagination was subjugated . [I]_0-i can not say the same . Neither full procession , nor high mass , nor swarming tapers , nor swinging censers , nor ecclesiastical millinery , nor celestial jewellery , touched [my]_0-i imagination a whit . What [I]_0-i saw struck [me]_0-i as tawdry , not grand ; as grossly material , not poetically spiritual . This [I]_0-i did not tell [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} ; [he]_{289-pere silas} was old , [he]_{289-pere silas} looked venerable : through every abortive experiment , under every repeated disappointment , [he]_{289-pere silas} remained personally kind to [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i felt tender of hurting [his]_{289-pere silas} feelings . But on the evening of a certain day when , from the balcony of [a great house]_{4783-a great house} , [I]_0-i had been made to witness a huge mingled procession of [the church]_{5217-the church} and [the army]_{7165-the army} - [priests]_7156-priests with relics , and [soldiers with weapons]_{7167-soldiers with weapons} , [an obese and aged archbishop , habited in cambric and lace]_{7168-an obese and aged archbishop , habited in cambric and lace} , looking strangely like a grey daw in bird - of- paradise plumage , and a band of [young girls fantastically robed and garlanded]_{7169-young girls fantastically robed and garlanded} - then [I]_0-i spoke [my]_0-i mind to [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did not like it , " [I]_0-i told [him]_{196-m. paul} ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i did not respect such ceremonies ; [I]_0-i wished to see no more . " And having relieved [my]_164-god conscience by this declaration , [I]_164-god was able to go on , and , speaking more currently and clearly than [my]_164-god wo nt , to show [him]_{196-m. paul} that [I]_164-god had a mind to keep to [my]_164-god reformed creed ; the more [I]_164-god saw of [Popery]_450-popery the closer [I]_164-god clung to Protestantism ; doubtless there were errors in [every church]_{7170-every church} , but [I]_164-god now perceived by contrast how severely pure was [my]_164-god own , compared with [her]_7171-her whose painted and meretricious face had been unveiled for [my]_164-god admiration . [I]_164-god told [him]_{196-m. paul} how [we]_7172-we kept fewer forms between [us]_7172-we and [God]_164-god ; retaining , indeed , no more than , perhaps , the nature of [mankind]_7173-mankind in the mass rendered necessary for due observance . [I]_164-god told [him]_{196-m. paul} [I]_164-god could not look on flowers and tinsel , on wax- lights and embroidery , at such times and under such circumstances as should be devoted to lifting the secret vision to [Him]_{196-m. paul} whose home is [Infinity]_110-infinity , and [His]_{196-m. paul} being - Eternity . That when [I]_164-god thought of sin and sorrow , of earthly corruption , mortal depravity , weighty temporal woe - [I]_164-god could not care for chanting [priests]_7156-priests or [mumming officials]_{7175-mumming officials} ; that when the pains of existence and the terrors of dissolution pressed before [me]_164-god - when the mighty hope and measureless doubt of the future arose in view - then , even the scientific strain , or the prayer in a language learned and dead , harassed : with hindrance a heart which only longed to cry - "_[164-god] [God]_164-god be merciful to [me]_0-i , [a sinner]_{3865-a sinner} ! " When [I]_164-god had so spoken , so declared [my]_164-god faith , and so widely severed [myself]_164-god , from [him]_{196-m. paul} [I]_164-god addressed - then , at last , came a tone accordant , an echo responsive , one sweet chord of harmony in two conflicting spirits . "_[164-god] Whatever say [priests]_7156-priests or [controversialists]_{3876-controversialists} , " murmured [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , "_{[7156-priests]} [God]_164-god is good , and loves all the sincere . Believe , then , what [you]_3877-you can ; believe it as [you]_3877-you can ; one prayer , at least , [we]_3878-we have in common ; [I]_0-i also cry - ' O Dieu , sois appaise envers moi qui suis pecheur ! ' " [He]_{196-m. paul} leaned on the back of [my]_0-i chair . After some thought [he]_{196-m. paul} again spoke : "_[0-i] How seem in the eyes of [that God who made all firmaments , from whose nostrils issued whatever of life is here]_{3879-that god who made all firmaments , from whose nostrils issued whatever of life is here} , or in the stars shining yonder - how seem the differences of [man]_618-man ? But as Time is not for [God]_164-god , nor Space , so neither is Measure , nor Comparison . [We]_3878-we abase [ourselves]_3878-we in [our]_3878-we littleness , and [we]_3878-we do right ; yet it may be that the constancy of one heart , the truth and faith of one mind according to the light [He]_164-god has appointed , import as much to [Him]_164-god as the just motion of satellites about [[their]_3881-their planets]_{3882-their planets} , of planets about [their]_3881-their suns , of suns around that mighty unseen centre incomprehensible , irrealizable , with strange mental effort only divined . " [God]_164-god guide [us]_3878-we all ! [God]_164-god bless [you]_141-paulina , [Lucy]_142-lucy ! "_[164-god] CHAPTER XXXVII . SUNSHINE . It was very , well for [Paulina]_141-paulina to decline further correspondence with [Graham]_135-graham till [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} had sanctioned the intercourse . But [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham could not live within [a league of [the Hotel Crecy]_{2993-the hotel crecy}]_{3884-a league of the hotel crecy} , and not contrive to visit [there]_512-there often . [Both lovers]_{3887-both lovers} meant at first , [I]_0-i believe , to be distant ; [they]_{3887-both lovers} kept [their]_{3887-both lovers} intention so far as demonstrative courtship went , but in feeling [they]_{3887-both lovers} soon drew very near . All that was best in [Graham]_135-graham sought [Paulina]_141-paulina ; whatever in [him]_135-graham was noble , awoke , and grew in [her]_141-paulina presence . With [his]_135-graham past admiration of [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , [I]_0-i suppose [his]_135-graham intellect had little to do , but [his]_135-graham whole intellect , and [his]_135-graham highest tastes , came in question now . These , like all [his]_135-graham faculties , were active , eager for nutriment , and alive to gratification when it came . [I]_0-i can not say that [Paulina]_141-paulina designedly led [him]_135-graham to talk of books , or formally proposed to [herself]_141-paulina for a moment the task of winning [him]_135-graham to reflection , or planned the improvement of [his]_135-graham mind , or so much as fancied [his]_135-graham mind could in any one respect be improved . [She]_141-paulina thought [him]_135-graham very perfect ; it was [Graham]_135-graham [himself]_135-graham , who , at first by the merest chance , mentioned some book [he]_135-graham had been reading , and when in [her]_141-paulina response sounded a welcome harmony of sympathies , something , pleasant to [his]_135-graham soul , [he]_135-graham talked on , more and better perhaps than [he]_135-graham had ever talked before on such subjects . [She]_141-paulina listened with delight , and answered with animation . In each successive answer , [Graham]_135-graham heard a music waxing finer and finer to [his]_135-graham sense ; in each [he]_135-graham found a suggestive , persuasive , magic accent that opened a , scarce - known treasure - house within , showed [him]_135-graham unsuspected power in [his]_135-graham own mind , and what was better , latent goodness in [his]_135-graham heart . [Each]_3207-each liked the way in which [the other]_{641-the other} talked ; the voice , the diction , the expression pleased ; each keenly relished the flavour of [the other]_{641-the other} 's wit ; [they]_3891-they met [each other]_{4318-each other} 's meaning with strange quickness , [their]_3891-they thoughts often matched like carefully - chosen pearls . [Graham]_135-graham had wealth of mirth by nature ; [Paulina]_141-paulina possessed no such inherent flow of animal spirits - unstimulated , [she]_141-paulina inclined to be thoughtful and pensive - but now [she]_141-paulina seemed merry as a lark ; in [[her]_141-paulina lover]_{5767-her lover} 's genial presence , [she]_141-paulina glanced like some soft glad light . How beautiful [she]_141-paulina grew in [her]_141-paulina happiness , [I]_0-i can hardly express , but [I]_0-i wondered to see [her]_141-paulina . As to that gentle ice of [hers]_141-paulina - that reserve on which [she]_141-paulina had depended ; where was it now ? Ah ! [Graham]_135-graham would not long bear it ; [he]_135-graham brought with [him]_135-graham a generous influence that soon thawed the timid , self - imposed restriction . Now were the old [Bretton]_135-graham days talked over ; perhaps brokenly at first , with a sort of smiling diffidence , then with opening candour and still growing confidence . [Graham]_135-graham had made for [himself]_135-graham a better opportunity than that [he]_135-graham had wished [me]_0-i to give ; [he]_135-graham had earned independence of the collateral help that disobliging [Lucy]_142-lucy had refused ; all [his]_135-graham reminiscences of " [little Polly]_141-paulina "_[135-graham] found [their]_3894-their proper expression in [his]_135-graham own pleasant tones , by [his]_135-graham own kind and handsome lips ; how much better than if suggested by [me]_0-i . More than once when [we]_3895-we were alone , [Paulina]_141-paulina would tell [me]_0-i how wonderful and curious it was to discover the richness and accuracy of [his]_135-graham memory in this matter . How , while [he]_135-graham was looking at [her]_141-paulina , recollections would seem to be suddenly quickened in [his]_135-graham mind . [He]_135-graham reminded [her]_141-paulina that [she]_141-paulina had once gathered [his]_135-graham head in [her]_141-paulina arms , caressed [his]_135-graham leonine graces , and cried out , " [Graham]_135-graham , [I]_141-paulina do like [you]_135-graham ! "_{[141-paulina]} [He]_135-graham told [her]_141-paulina how [she]_141-paulina would set a footstool beside [him]_135-graham , and climb by its aid to [his]_135-graham knee . At this day [he]_135-graham said [he]_135-graham could recall the sensation of [her]_141-paulina little hands smoothing [his]_135-graham cheek , or burying themselves in [his]_135-graham thick mane . [He]_135-graham remembered the touch of [her]_141-paulina small forefinger , placed half tremblingly , half curiously , in the cleft in [his]_135-graham chin , the lisp , the look with which [she]_141-paulina would name it " a pretty dimple , "_{[141-paulina]} then seek [his]_135-graham eyes and question why they pierced so , telling [him]_135-graham [he]_135-graham had a " nice , strange face ; far nicer , far stranger , than either [[his]_135-graham mamma]_{7176-his mamma} or [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy . "_{[141-paulina]} " Child as [I]_141-paulina was , "_{[141-paulina]} remarked [Paulina]_141-paulina , " [I]_141-paulina wonder how [I]_141-paulina dared be so venturous . To [me]_141-paulina [he]_135-graham seems now all sacred , [his]_135-graham locks are inaccessible , and , [Lucy]_142-lucy , [I]_141-paulina feel a sort of fear , when [I]_141-paulina look at [his]_135-graham firm , marble chin , at [his]_135-graham straight Greek features . [Women]_4398-women are called beautiful , [Lucy]_142-lucy ; [he]_135-graham is not like [a woman]_{4363-a woman} , therefore [I]_141-paulina suppose [he]_135-graham is not beautiful , but what is [he]_135-graham , then ? Do [other people]_{1151-other people} see [him]_135-graham with [my]_141-paulina eyes ? Do [you]_3896-i admire [him]_135-graham ? "_{[141-paulina]} " [I]_0-i 'll tell [you]_3896-i what [I]_0-i do , [Paulina]_141-paulina , "_[0-i] was once [my]_0-i answer to [her]_3896-i many questions . " [I]_3896-i never see [him]_135-graham . [I]_3896-i looked at [him]_135-graham twice or thrice about a year ago , before [he]_135-graham recognised [me]_3896-i , and then [I]_3896-i shut [my]_3896-i eyes ; and if [he]_135-graham were to cross [their]_7180-their balls twelve times between each day 's sunset and sunrise , except from memory , [I]_3896-i should hardly know what shape had gone by . "_[3896-i] " [Lucy]_142-lucy , what do [you]_142-lucy mean ? "_[3896-i] said [she]_3896-i , under [her]_3896-i breath . " [I]_3896-i mean that [I]_3896-i value vision , and dread being struck stone blind . "_[3896-i] It was best to answer [her]_3896-i strongly at once , and to silence for ever the tender , passionate confidences which left [her]_3896-i lips sweet honey , and sometimes dropped in [my]_0-i ear - molten lead . To [me]_0-i , [she]_3896-i commented no more on [[her]_3896-i lover]_{5767-her lover} 's beauty . Yet speak of [him]_{5767-her lover} [she]_3896-i would ; sometimes shyly , in quiet , brief phrases ; sometimes with a tenderness of cadence , and music of voice exquisite in itself ; but which chafed [me]_0-i at times miserably ; and then , [I]_0-i know , [I]_0-i gave [her]_3896-i stern looks and words ; but cloudless happiness had dazzled [her]_3896-i native clear sight , and [she]_3896-i only thought [Lucy]_142-lucy - fitful . " [Spartan girl]_{7181-spartan girl} ! [Proud Lucy]_451-lucy ! "_[3896-i] [she]_3896-i would say , smiling at [me]_0-i . " [Graham]_135-graham says [you]_{7181-spartan girl} are [the most peculiar , capricious little woman [he]_135-graham knows]_{7182-the most peculiar , capricious little woman he knows} ; but yet [you]_{7181-spartan girl} are excellent ; [we]_7183-you both think so . "_[3896-i] " [You]_7183-you both think [you]_7183-you know not what , "_[0-i] said [I.]_0-i " Have the goodness to make [me]_0-i as little the subject of [your]_7183-you mutual talk and thoughts as possible . [I]_0-i have [my]_0-i sort of life apart from [yours]_7183-you . "_[0-i] " But [ours]_7184-ours , [Lucy]_451-lucy , is a beautiful life , or it will be ; and [you]_451-lucy shall share it . "_[3896-i] " [I]_3896-i shall share [no man]_{7185-no man} 's or [woman]_619-woman 's life in [this world]_{4390-this world} , as [you]_7183-you understand sharing . [I]_3896-i think [I]_3896-i have [one friend of [my]_3896-i own]_{7188-one friend of my own} , but am not sure ; and till [I]_3896-i am sure , [I]_3896-i live solitary . "_[3896-i] " But solitude is sadness . "_[0-i] " Yes ; it is sadness . Life , however ; has worse than that . Deeper than melancholy , lies heart - break . "_[3896-i] " [Lucy]_451-lucy , [I]_3896-i wonder if [anybody]_4239-anybody will ever comprehend [you]_451-lucy altogether . "_[3896-i] There is , in [lovers]_3898-lovers , a certain infatuation of egotism ; [they]_3898-lovers will have a witness of [their]_3898-lovers happiness , cost that witness what it may . [Paulina]_141-paulina had forbidden letters , yet [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham wrote ; [she]_141-paulina had resolved against correspondence , yet [she]_141-paulina answered , were it only to chide . [She]_141-paulina showed [me]_0-i these letters ; with something of [the spoiled child]_{3899-the spoiled child} 's wilfulness , and of [the heiress]_{3900-the heiress} 's imperiousness , [she]_141-paulina made [me]_0-i read them . As [I]_0-i read [Graham]_135-graham 's , [I]_0-i scarce wondered at [her]_141-paulina exaction , and understood [her]_141-paulina pride : they were fine letters - manly and fond - modest and gallant . [Hers]_141-paulina must have appeared to [him]_135-graham beautiful . They had not been written to show [her]_141-paulina talents ; still less , [I]_0-i think , to express [her]_141-paulina love . On the contrary , it appeared that [she]_141-paulina had proposed to [herself]_141-paulina the task of hiding that feeling , and bridling [[her]_141-paulina lover]_{5767-her lover} 's ardour . But how could such letters serve such a purpose ? [Graham]_135-graham was become dear as [her]_141-paulina life ; [he]_135-graham drew [her]_141-paulina like a powerful magnet . For [her]_141-paulina there was influence unspeakable in all [he]_135-graham uttered , wrote , thought , or looked . With this unconfessed confession , [her]_141-paulina letters glowed ; it kindled them , from greeting to adieu . " [I]_141-paulina wish [papa]_4218-papa knew ; [I]_141-paulina do wish [papa]_4218-papa knew ! "_{[141-paulina]} began now to be [her]_141-paulina anxious murmur . " [I]_141-paulina wish , and yet [I]_141-paulina fear . [I]_141-paulina can hardly keep [Graham]_135-graham back from telling [him]_4218-papa . There is nothing [I]_141-paulina long for more than to have this affair settled - to speak out candidly ; and yet [I]_141-paulina dread the crisis . [I]_141-paulina know , [I]_141-paulina am certain , [papa]_4218-papa will be angry at the first ; [I]_141-paulina fear [he]_4218-papa will dislike [me]_141-paulina almost ; it will seem to [him]_4218-papa an untoward business ; it will be a surprise , a shock : [I]_141-paulina can hardly foresee its whole effect on [him]_4218-papa . "_{[141-paulina]} The fact was - [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} , long calm , was beginning to be a little stirred : long blind on one point , an importunate light was beginning to trespass on [his]_{643-her father} eye . To [her]_141-paulina , [he]_{643-her father} said nothing ; but when [she]_141-paulina was not looking at , or perhaps thinking of [him]_{643-her father} , [I]_0-i saw [him]_{643-her father} gaze and meditate on [her]_141-paulina . One evening - [Paulina]_141-paulina was in [[her]_141-paulina dressing - room]_{3903-her dressing - room} , writing , [I]_0-i believe , to [Graham]_135-graham ; [she]_141-paulina had left [me]_0-i in [the library]_{2633-the library} , reading - [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} came in ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} sat down : [I]_0-i was about to withdraw ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} requested [me]_0-i to remain - gently , yet in a manner which showed [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} wished compliance . [He]_{178-m. de bassompierre} had taken [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} seat near the window , at a distance from [me]_0-i ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} opened a desk ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} took from it what looked like a memorandum - book ; of this book [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} studied a certain entry for several minutes . " [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} said [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , laying it down , " do [you]_0-i know [[my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} little girl]_{4294-my little girl} 's age ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " About eighteen , is it not , [sir]_976-sir ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " It seems so . This old pocket - book tells [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} [she]_{4294-my little girl} was born on the 5th of May , in the year 18 - , eighteen years ago . It is strange ; [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} had lost the just reckoning of [her]_{4294-my little girl} age . [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} thought of [her]_{4294-my little girl} as twelve - fourteen - an indefinite date ; but [she]_{4294-my little girl} seemed [a child]_{4415-a child} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [She]_{4294-my little girl} is about eighteen , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i repeated . " [She]_{4294-my little girl} is grown up ; [she]_{4294-my little girl} will be no taller . "_[0-i] " [[My]_{178-m. de bassompierre} little jewel]_{7196-my little jewel} ! "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} said [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , in a tone which penetrated like some of [[his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} daughter]_{686-his daughter} 's accents . [He]_{178-m. de bassompierre} sat very thoughtful . " [Sir]_976-sir , do n't grieve , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said ; for [I]_0-i knew [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} feelings , utterly unspoken as they were . " [She]_{4294-my little girl} is the only pearl [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} have , "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} said ; " and now [others]_770-others will find out that [she]_{4294-my little girl} is pure and of price : [they]_770-others will covet [her]_{4294-my little girl} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} [I]_0-i made no answer . [Graham Bretton]_135-graham had dined with [us]_3906-us that day ; [he]_135-graham had shone both in converse and looks : [I]_0-i know not what pride of bloom embellished [his]_135-graham aspect and mellowed [his]_135-graham intercourse . Under the stimulus of a high hope , something had unfolded in [his]_135-graham whole manner which compelled attention . [I]_0-i think [he]_135-graham had purposed on that day to indicate the origin of [his]_135-graham endeavours , and the aim of [his]_135-graham ambition . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} had found [himself]_{178-m. de bassompierre} forced , in a manner , to descry the direction and catch the character of [his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} homage . Slow in remarking , [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was logical in reasoning : having once seized the thread , it had guided [him]_{178-m. de bassompierre} through [a long labyrinth]_{3907-a long labyrinth} . " Where is [she]_{4294-my little girl} ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} asked . " [She]_{4294-my little girl} is up - [stairs]_593-stairs . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " What is [she]_{4294-my little girl} doing ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [She]_{4294-my little girl} is writing . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [She]_{4294-my little girl} writes , does [she]_{4294-my little girl} ? Does [she]_{4294-my little girl} receive letters ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " None but such as [she]_{4294-my little girl} can show [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} . And - [sir]_976-sir - [she]_{4294-my little girl} - [they]_7201-they have long wanted to consult [you]_976-sir . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [Pshaw]_452-pshaw ! [They]_7201-they do n't think of [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} - [an old father]_{7202-an old father} ! [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} am in the way . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Ah , [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} - not so - that ca n't be ! But [Paulina]_141-paulina must speak for [herself]_141-paulina : and [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham , too , must be [[his]_135-graham own advocate]_{7203-his own advocate} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " It is a little late . Matters are advanced , it seems . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [Sir]_976-sir , till [you]_976-sir approve , nothing is done - only [they]_7201-they love [each other]_{4318-each other} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Only ! "_[3908-he] [he]_3908-he echoed . Invested by fate with the part of [confidante and mediator]_{3909-confidante and mediator} , [I]_0-i was obliged to go on : " Hundreds of times has [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham been on the point of appealing to [you]_976-sir , [sir]_976-sir ; but , with all [his]_135-graham high courage , [he]_135-graham fears [you]_976-sir mortally . "_[0-i] " [He]_135-graham may well - [he]_135-graham may well fear [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} . [He]_135-graham has touched the best thing [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} have . Had [he]_135-graham but let [her]_7207-her alone , [she]_7207-her would have remained [a child]_{4415-a child} for years yet . So . Are [they]_7201-they engaged ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [They]_7201-they could not become engaged without [your]_976-sir permission . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " It is well for [you]_976-sir , [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , to talk and think with that propriety which always characterizes [you]_976-sir ; but this matter is a grief to [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} ; [[my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} little girl]_{4294-my little girl} was all [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} had : [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} have [no more daughters]_{7210-no more daughters} and [no son]_{6984-no son} ; [Bretton]_135-graham might as well have looked elsewhere ; there are [scores of rich and pretty women who would not , [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} daresay , dislike [him]_135-graham : [he]_135-graham has looks , and conduct , and connection . Would nothing serve [him]_135-graham but [[my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} Polly]_{6396-my polly}]_{7212-scores of rich and pretty women who would not , i daresay , dislike him : he has looks , and conduct , and connection . would nothing serve him but my polly} ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " If [he]_135-graham had never seen [your]_976-sir ' [Polly]_141-paulina , ' [others]_770-others might and would have pleased [him]_135-graham - [[your]_976-sir niece]_{7215-your niece} , [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra , for instance . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Ah ! [I]_3910-i would have given [him]_135-graham [Ginevra]_179-ginevra with all [my]_3910-i heart ; but [Polly]_141-paulina ! - [I]_3910-i ca n't let [him]_135-graham have [her]_141-paulina . No - [I]_3910-i ca n't . [He]_135-graham is not [her]_141-paulina equal , "_[3910-i] [he]_3910-i affirmed , rather gruffly . " In what particular is [he]_135-graham [[her]_141-paulina match]_{7216-her match} ? [They]_7217-they talk of fortune ! [I]_3910-i am not [an avaricious or interested man]_{7218-an avaricious or interested man} , but [the world]_{811-the world} thinks of these things - and [Polly]_141-paulina will be rich . "_[3910-i] " Yes , that is known , "_[0-i] said [I]_0-i : " all [Villette]_3-villette knows [her]_141-paulina as [an heiress]_{7220-an heiress} . "_[0-i] " Do [they]_7217-they talk of [[my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} little girl]_{4294-my little girl} in that light ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [They]_7217-they do , [sir]_976-sir . "_[3910-i] [He]_3910-i fell into deep thought . [I]_0-i ventured to say , " Would [you]_3910-i , [sir]_976-sir , think [any one]_{1135-any one} [Paulina]_141-paulina 's match ? Would [you]_3910-i prefer any other to [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham ? Do [you]_3910-i think higher rank or more wealth would make much difference in [your]_3910-i feelings towards [a future son - in - law]_{7225-a future son - in - law} ? "_[0-i] " [You]_0-i touch [me]_3910-i there , "_[3910-i] said [he]_3910-i . " Look at [the aristocracy of [Villette]_3-villette]_{7226-the aristocracy of villette} - [you]_3910-i would not like [them]_{7226-the aristocracy of villette} , [sir]_976-sir ? "_[3910-i] " [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} should not - never [a duc]_{7228-a duc} , [baron]_7229-baron , or [vicomte of the lot]_{7230-vicomte of the lot} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [I]_0-i am told [many of [these persons]_{7232-these persons}]_{7231-many of these persons} think about [her]_7233-her , [sir]_976-sir , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i went on , gaining courage on finding that [I]_0-i met attention rather than repulse . " [Other suitors]_{7235-other suitors} will come , therefore , if [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham is refused . Wherever [you]_976-sir go , [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} suppose , [aspirants]_{7236-aspirants} will not be wanting . [Independent of [heiress - ship]_{7238-heiress - ship}]_{7237-independent of heiress - ship} , it appears to [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} that [Paulina]_141-paulina charms [most of those who see [her]_141-paulina]_{7239-most of those who see her} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Does [she]_141-paulina ? How ? [[My]_{178-m. de bassompierre} little girl]_{4294-my little girl} is not thought [a beauty]_{7241-a beauty} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [Sir]_976-sir , [Miss de Bassompierre]_{348-miss de bassompierre} is very beautiful . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Nonsense ! - begging [your]_976-sir pardon , [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , but [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} think [you]_976-sir are too partial . [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} like [Polly]_141-paulina : [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} like all [her]_141-paulina ways and all [her]_141-paulina looks - but then [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} am [[her]_141-paulina father]_{643-her father} ; and even [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} never thought about beauty . [She]_141-paulina is amusing , fairy - like , interesting to [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} ; - [you]_976-sir must be mistaken in supposing [her]_141-paulina handsome ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [She]_141-paulina attracts , [sir]_976-sir : [she]_141-paulina would attract without the advantages of [your]_976-sir wealth and position . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [My]_{178-m. de bassompierre} wealth and position ! Are these any bait to [Graham]_135-graham ? If [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} thought so - - "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham knows these points perfectly , as [you]_976-sir may be sure , [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , and values them as [any gentleman]_{7245-any gentleman} would - as [you]_976-sir would [yourself]_976-sir , under the same circumstances - but they are not [his]_135-graham baits . [He]_135-graham loves [[your]_976-sir daughter]_{7246-your daughter} very much ; [he]_135-graham feels [her]_141-paulina finest qualities , and [they]_7247-they influence [him]_135-graham worthily . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " What ! has [my]_{178-m. de bassompierre} little pet ' fine qualities ? ' "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " Ah , [sir]_976-sir ! did [you]_976-sir observe [her]_141-paulina that evening when [so many men of eminence and learning]_{7249-so many men of eminence and learning} dined [here]_4212-here ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} certainly was rather struck and surprised with [her]_141-paulina manner that day ; its womanliness made [me]_{178-m. de bassompierre} smile . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " And did [you]_976-sir see those accomplished Frenchmen gather round [her]_141-paulina in [the drawing - room]_{568-the drawing - room} ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} did ; but [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} thought it was by way of relaxation - as one might amuse [one]_607-one 's self with [a pretty infant]_{7253-a pretty infant} . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [Sir]_976-sir , [she]_141-paulina demeaned [herself]_141-paulina with distinction ; and [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} heard [the French gentlemen]_{7255-the french gentlemen} say [she]_141-paulina was ' petrie d'esprit et de graces . ' [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham thought the same . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [She]_141-paulina is [a good , dear child]_{7256-a good , dear child} , that is certain ; and [I]_3911-i do believe [she]_141-paulina has some character . When [I]_3911-i think of it , [I]_3911-i was once ill ; [Polly]_141-paulina nursed [me]_3911-i ; [they]_{7255-the french gentlemen} thought [I]_3911-i should die ; [she]_141-paulina , [I]_3911-i recollect , grew at once stronger and tenderer as [I]_3911-i grew worse in health . And as [I]_3911-i recovered , what a sunbeam [she]_141-paulina was in [[my]_3911-i sick - room]_{7257-my sick - room} ! Yes ; [she]_141-paulina played about [my]_3911-i chair as noiselessly and as cheerful as light . And now [she]_141-paulina is sought in marriage ! [I]_3911-i do n't want to part with [her]_141-paulina , "_[3911-i] said [he]_3911-i , and [he]_3911-i groaned . " [You]_3911-i have known [Dr. and Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} so long , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i suggested , " it would be less like separation to give [her]_141-paulina to [him]_3911-i than to another . "_[3911-i] [He]_3911-i reflected rather gloomily . " True . [I]_3911-i have long known [Louisa Bretton]_{350-louisa bretton} , "_[3911-i] [he]_3911-i murmured . " [She]_141-paulina and [I]_3911-i are indeed old , [old friends]_{7258-old friends} ; [a sweet , kind girl [she]_141-paulina was when [she]_141-paulina was young]_{7259-a sweet , kind girl she was when she was young} . [You]_3911-i talk of beauty , [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy ! [she]_141-paulina was handsome , if [you]_3911-i will - tall , straight , and blooming - not [the mere child]_{7260-the mere child} or [elf]_7261-elf [[my]_3911-i Polly]_{6396-my polly} seems to [me]_3911-i : at eighteen , [Louisa]_{350-louisa bretton} had [a carriage]_{7263-a carriage} and stature fit for [a princess]_{7264-a princess} . [She]_141-paulina is [a comely and a good woman]_{7265-a comely and a good woman} now . [The lad]_{7266-the lad} is like [her]_141-paulina ; [I]_3911-i have always thought so , and favoured and wished [him]_{7266-the lad} well . Now [he]_{7266-the lad} repays [me]_3911-i by this robbery ! [My]_3911-i little treasure used to love [[her]_3913-her old father]_{7267-her old father} dearly and truly . It is all over now , doubtless - [I]_3911-i am [an incumbrance]_{7268-an incumbrance} . "_[3911-i] The door opened - [his]_3912-his " little treasure "_[3913-her] came in . [She]_3913-her was dressed , so to speak , in evening beauty ; that animation which sometimes comes with the close of day , warmed [her]_3913-her eye and cheek ; a tinge of summer crimson heightened [her]_3913-her complexion ; [her]_3913-her curls fell full and long on [her]_3913-her lily neck ; [her]_3913-her white dress suited the heat of [June]_423-june . Thinking [me]_0-i alone , [she]_3913-her had brought in [her]_3913-her hand the letter just written - brought it folded but unsealed . [I]_0-i was to read it . When [she]_3913-her saw [[her]_3913-her father]_{643-her father} , [her]_3913-her tripping step faltered a little , paused a moment - the colour in [her]_3913-her cheek flowed rosy over [her]_3913-her whole face . " [Polly]_141-paulina , "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} said [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} , in a low voice , with a grave smile , " do [you]_141-paulina blush at seeing [papa]_140-papa ? That is something new . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [I]_3913-her do n't blush - [I]_3913-her never do blush , "_[3913-her] affirmed [she]_3913-her , while another eddy from the heart sent up its scarlet . " But [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} thought [you]_141-paulina were in [the dining - room]_{4338-the dining - room} , and [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} wanted [Lucy]_142-lucy . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [You]_141-paulina thought [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was with [John Graham Bretton]_135-graham , [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} suppose ? But [he]_135-graham has just been called out : [he]_135-graham will be back soon , [Polly]_141-paulina . [He]_135-graham can post [your]_141-paulina letter for [you]_141-paulina ; it will save [Matthieu]_453-matthieu a ' course , ' as [he]_135-graham calls it . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [I]_3913-her do n't post letters , "_[3913-her] said [she]_3913-her , rather pettishly . " What do [you]_141-paulina do with them , then ? - come here and tell [me]_3913-her . "_[3913-her] Both [her]_3913-her mind and gesture seemed to hesitate a second - to say " Shall [I]_3913-her come ? "_[3913-her] - but [she]_3913-her approached . " How long is it since [you]_141-paulina became [a letter - writer]_{7270-a letter - writer} , [Polly]_141-paulina ? It only seems yesterday when [you]_141-paulina were at [your]_141-paulina pot - hooks , labouring away absolutely with both hands at the pen . "_[3913-her] " [Papa]_140-papa , they are not letters to send to the post in [your]_140-papa letter - bag ; they are only notes , which [I]_{178-m. de bassompierre} give now and then into [the person]_{7271-the person} 's hands , just to satisfy . "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " [The person]_{7271-the person} ! That means [Miss Snowe]_142-lucy , [I]_3913-her suppose ? "_[3913-her] " No , [papa]_4218-papa - not [Lucy]_142-lucy . "_[3913-her] " Who then ? Perhaps [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} ? "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} " No , [papa]_4218-papa - not [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} . "_[3913-her] " Who , then , [[my]_3913-her little daughter]_{7275-my little daughter} ? Tell [papa]_140-papa the truth . "_[3913-her] " Oh , [papa]_4218-papa ! "_[3915-i] [she]_3915-i cried with earnestness , " [I]_3915-i will - [I]_3915-i will tell [you]_4218-papa the truth - all the truth ; [I]_3915-i am glad to tell [you]_4218-papa - glad , though [I]_3915-i tremble . "_[3915-i] [She]_3915-i did tremble : growing excitement , kindling feeling , and also gathering courage , shook [her]_3915-i . " [I]_3915-i hate to hide [my]_3915-i actions from [you]_4218-papa , [papa]_4218-papa . [I]_3915-i fear [you]_4218-papa and love [you]_4218-papa above everything but [God]_164-god . Read the letter ; look at the address . "_[3915-i] [She]_3915-i laid it on [his]_3916-i knee . [He]_3916-i took it up and read it through ; [his]_3916-i hand shaking , [his]_3916-i eyes glistening meantime . [He]_3916-i re - folded it , and viewed [the writer]_{2334-the writer} with a strange , tender , mournful amaze . " Can [she]_{2334-the writer} write so - the little thing that stood at [my]_3916-i knee but yesterday ? Can [she]_{2334-the writer} feel so ? "_[3916-i] " [Papa]_140-papa , is it wrong ? Does it pain [you]_140-papa ? "_[3916-i] " There is nothing wrong in it , [[my]_3916-i innocent little [Mary]_141-paulina]_{7278-my innocent little mary} ; but it pains [me]_3916-i . "_[3916-i] " But , [papa]_4218-papa , listen ! [You]_4218-papa shall not be pained by [me]_3916-i . [I]_3916-i would give up everything - almost "_[3916-i] correcting [herself]_3915-i ; " [I]_3916-i would die rather than make [you]_4218-papa unhappy ; that would be too wicked ! "_[3916-i] [She]_3915-i shuddered . " Does the letter not please [you]_4218-papa ? Must it not go ? Must it be torn ? It shall , for [your]_4218-papa sake , if [you]_4218-papa order it . "_[3915-i] " [I]_3916-i order nothing . "_[3916-i] " Order something , [papa]_4218-papa ; express [your]_4218-papa wish ; only do n't hurt , do n't grieve [Graham]_135-graham . [I]_3916-i can not , can not bear that . [I]_3916-i love [you]_4218-papa , [papa]_4218-papa ; but [I]_3916-i love [Graham]_135-graham too - because - because - it is impossible to help it . "_[3916-i] " This splendid [Graham]_135-graham is [a young scamp]_{7282-a young scamp} , [Polly]_141-paulina - that is [my]_3915-i present notion of [him]_135-graham : it will surprise [you]_4218-papa to hear that , for [my]_3915-i part , [I]_3915-i do not love [him]_135-graham one whit . Ah ! years ago [I]_3915-i saw something in [that lad]_{7283-that lad} 's eye [I]_3915-i never quite fathomed - something [[his]_135-graham mother]_{534-his mother} has not - a depth which warned [a man not to wade into that stream]_{7285-a man not to wade into that stream} too far ; now , suddenly , [I]_3915-i find [myself]_3915-i taken over the crown of the head . "_[3915-i] " [Papa]_140-papa , [you]_140-papa do n't - [you]_140-papa have not fallen in ; [you]_140-papa are safe on [the bank]_{7286-the bank} ; [you]_140-papa can do as [you]_140-papa please ; [your]_140-papa power is despotic ; [you]_140-papa can shut [me]_3916-i up in [a convent]_{1396-a convent} , and break [Graham]_135-graham 's heart to - morrow , if [you]_140-papa choose to be so cruel . Now , [autocrat]_{7288-autocrat} , now [czar]_7289-czar , will [you]_140-papa do this ? "_[3916-i] " Off with [him]_135-graham to [Siberia]_111-siberia , red whiskers and all ; [I]_3916-i say , [I]_3916-i do n't like [him]_135-graham , [Polly]_141-paulina , and [I]_3916-i wonder that [you]_141-paulina should . "_[3916-i] " [Papa]_140-papa , "_[3918-she] said [she]_3918-she , " do [you]_140-papa know [you]_140-papa are very naughty ? [I]_3918-she never saw [you]_140-papa look so disagreeable , so unjust , so almost vindictive before . There is an expression in [your]_140-papa face which does not belong to [you]_140-papa . "_[3918-she] " Off with [him]_135-graham ! "_{[134-mr. home]} pursued [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , who certainly did look sorely crossed and annoyed - even a little bitter ; " but , [I]_{134-mr. home} suppose , if [he]_135-graham went , [Polly]_141-paulina would pack a bundle and run after [him]_135-graham ; [her]_141-paulina heart is fairly won - won , and weaned from [[her]_141-paulina old father]_{7267-her old father} . "_{[134-mr. home]} " [Papa]_140-papa , [I]_3916-i say it is naughty , it is decidedly wrong , to talk in that way . [I]_3916-i am not weaned from [you]_140-papa , and [no human being]_{3817-no human being} and no mortal influence can [wean]_7292-wean [me]_3916-i . "_[3916-i] " Be married , [Polly]_141-paulina ! Espouse the red whiskers . Cease to be [a daughter]_{6240-a daughter} ; go and be [a wife]_{5852-a wife} ! "_{[134-mr. home]} " [Red whiskers]_{7295-red whiskers} ! [I]_3916-i wonder what [you]_140-papa mean , [papa]_4218-papa . [You]_140-papa should take care of prejudice . [You]_140-papa sometimes say to [me]_3916-i that [all the Scotch]_{7297-all the scotch} , [[your]_140-papa countrymen]_{7298-your countrymen} , are [the victims of prejudice]_{7299-the victims of prejudice} . It is proved now , [I]_3916-i think , when no distinction is to be made between red and deep nut - brown . "_[3916-i] " Leave [the prejudiced old Scotchman]_{7300-the prejudiced old scotchman} ; go away . "_[3919-her] [She]_3919-her stood looking at [him]_3920-you a minute . [She]_3919-her wanted to show firmness , superiority to taunts ; knowing [[her]_3919-her father]_{643-her father} 's character , guessing [his]_3920-you few foibles , [she]_3919-her had expected the sort of scene which was now transpiring ; it did not take [her]_3919-her by surprise , and [she]_3919-her desired to let it pass with dignity , reliant upon reaction . [Her]_3919-her dignity stood [her]_3919-her in no stead . Suddenly [her]_3919-her soul melted in [her]_3919-her eyes ; [she]_3919-her fell on [his]_3920-you neck : - " [I]_3919-her wo n't leave [you]_3920-you , [papa]_4218-papa ; [I]_3919-her 'll never leave [you]_3920-you . [I]_3919-her wo n't pain [you]_3920-you ! [I]_3919-her 'll never pain [you]_3920-you ! "_[3919-her] was [her]_3919-her cry . " [[My]_{3922-the loving though rugged sire} lamb]_{7302-my lamb} ! [my]_{3922-the loving though rugged sire} treasure ! "_{[3922-the loving though rugged sire]} murmured [the loving though rugged sire]_{3922-the loving though rugged sire} . [He]_3920-you said no more for the moment ; indeed , those two words were hoarse . [The room]_{600-the room} was now darkening . [I]_0-i heard a movement , a step without . Thinking it might be [a servant coming with candles]_{3924-a servant coming with candles} , [I]_0-i gently opened , to prevent intrusion . In [the ante - room]_{3925-the ante - room} stood [no servant]_{3623-no servant} : [a tall gentleman]_{3927-a tall gentleman} was placing [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} hat on the table , drawing off [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} gloves slowly - lingering , waiting , it seemed to [me]_0-i . [He]_{3927-a tall gentleman} called [me]_0-i neither by sign nor word ; yet [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} eye said : - " [Lucy]_142-lucy , come here . "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} And [I]_0-i went . Over [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} face a smile flowed , while [he]_{3927-a tall gentleman} looked down on [me]_0-i : no temper , save [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} own , would have expressed by a smile the sort of agitation which now fevered [him]_{3927-a tall gentleman} . " M. [de Bassompierre]_141-paulina is there - is [he]_{3927-a tall gentleman} not ? "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} [he]_{3927-a tall gentleman} inquired , pointing to [the library]_{2633-the library} . " Yes . "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} " [He]_{3927-a tall gentleman} noticed [me]_{134-mr. home} at dinner ? [He]_{3927-a tall gentleman} understood [me]_{134-mr. home} ? "_{[134-mr. home]} " Yes , [Graham]_135-graham . "_{[134-mr. home]} " [I]_{3927-a tall gentleman} am brought up for judgment , then , and so is [she]_141-paulina ? "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} " [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} "_{[134-mr. home]} [we]_3929-we now and always continued to term [him]_{3927-a tall gentleman} [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} at times " is talking to [[his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} daughter]_{686-his daughter} . "_{[134-mr. home]} " Ha ! These are sharp moments , [Lucy]_142-lucy ! "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} [He]_{3927-a tall gentleman} was quite stirred up ; [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} young hand trembled ; a vital [I]_0-i was going to write mortal , but such words ill apply to [one all living like [him]_{3927-a tall gentleman}]_{3930-one all living like him} - a vital suspense now held , now hurried , [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} breath : in all this trouble [his]_{3927-a tall gentleman} smile never faded . " Is [he]_{3927-a tall gentleman} very angry , [Lucy]_142-lucy ? "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} " [She]_141-paulina is very faithful , [Graham]_135-graham . "_[0-i] " What will be done unto [me]_{3927-a tall gentleman} ? "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} " [Graham]_135-graham , [your]_135-graham star must be fortunate . "_{[3927-a tall gentleman]} " Must it ? [Kind prophet]_{7304-kind prophet} ! So cheered , [I]_0-i should be a faint heart indeed to quail . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i find [all women]_{1386-all women} faithful , [Lucy]_142-lucy . [I]_0-i ought to love [them]_{1386-all women} , and [I]_0-i do . [[My]_0-i mother]_{4268-my mother} is good ; [she]_{4268-my mother} is divine ; and [you]_135-graham are true as steel . Are [you]_135-graham not ? "_[0-i] " Yes , [Graham]_135-graham . "_[0-i] " Then give [me]_3931-he [thy]_142-lucy hand , [[my]_3931-he little god - sister]_{7307-my little god - sister} : it is a friendly little hand to [me]_3931-he , and always has been . And now for the great venture . [God]_164-god be with the right . [Lucy]_142-lucy , say Amen ! "_[3931-he] [He]_3931-he turned , and waited till [I]_0-i said " Amen ! "_[0-i] - which [I]_0-i did to please [him]_3931-he : the old charm , in doing as [he]_3931-he bid [me]_0-i , came back . [I]_0-i wished [him]_3931-he success ; and successful [I]_0-i knew [he]_3931-he would be . [He]_3931-he was born victor , as [some are born vanquished]_{3932-some are born vanquished} . " Follow [me]_3931-he ! "_[3931-he] [he]_3931-he said ; and [I]_0-i followed [him]_3931-he into [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} 's presence . " [Sir]_976-sir , "_[3931-he] [he]_3931-he asked , " what is [my]_3931-he sentence ? "_[3931-he] [The father]_{2571-the father} looked at [him]_3931-he : [the daughter]_{3934-the daughter} kept [her]_{3934-the daughter} face hid . " Well , [Bretton]_135-graham , "_{[134-mr. home]} said [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , " [you]_135-graham have given [me]_{134-mr. home} the usual reward of hospitality . [I]_{134-mr. home} entertained [you]_135-graham ; [you]_135-graham have taken [my]_{134-mr. home} best . [I]_{134-mr. home} was always glad to see [you]_135-graham ; [you]_135-graham were glad to see the one precious thing [I]_{134-mr. home} had . [You]_{134-mr. home} spoke [me]_{134-mr. home} fair ; and , meantime , [I]_{134-mr. home} will not say [you]_{134-mr. home} robbed [me]_{134-mr. home} , but [I]_{134-mr. home} am bereaved , and what [I]_{134-mr. home} have lost , [you]_135-graham , it seems , have won . "_{[134-mr. home]} " [Sir]_976-sir , [I]_3931-he can not repent . "_[3931-he] " Repent ! Not [you]_{134-mr. home} ! [You]_135-graham triumph , no doubt : [John Graham]_135-graham , [you]_135-graham descended partly from [a Highlander]_{7310-a highlander} and [a chief]_{7311-a chief} , and there is a trace of [the Celt]_{454-the celt} in all [you]_135-graham look , speak , and think . [You]_135-graham have [his]_135-graham cunning and [his]_135-graham charm . The red - Well then , [Polly]_141-paulina , the fair hair , the tongue of guile , and brain of wile , are all come down by inheritance . "_{[134-mr. home]} " [Sir]_976-sir , [I]_135-graham feel honest enough , "_[135-graham] said [Graham]_135-graham ; and a genuine English blush covered [his]_135-graham face with its warm witness of sincerity . " And yet , "_[135-graham] [he]_135-graham added , " [I]_135-graham wo n't deny that in some respects [you]_976-sir accuse [me]_135-graham justly . In [your]_976-sir presence [I]_135-graham have always had a thought which [I]_135-graham dared not show [you]_976-sir . [I]_135-graham did truly regard [you]_976-sir as the possessor of the most valuable thing [the world]_{811-the world} owns for [me]_135-graham . [I]_135-graham wished for it : [I]_135-graham tried for it . [Sir]_976-sir , [I]_135-graham ask for it now . "_[135-graham] " [John]_135-graham , [you]_135-graham ask much . "_[135-graham] " Very much , [sir]_976-sir . It must come from [your]_976-sir generosity , as a gift ; from [your]_976-sir justice , as a reward . [I]_135-graham can never earn it . "_[135-graham] " Ay ! Listen to the Highland tongue ! "_{[134-mr. home]} said [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} . " Look up , [Polly]_141-paulina ! Answer this ' braw wooer ; ' send [him]_{3937-her furrowed sire} away ! "_[3935-i] [She]_3935-i looked up . [She]_3935-i shyly glanced at [[her]_3935-i eager , handsome suitor]_{3936-her eager , handsome suitor} . [She]_3935-i gazed tenderly on [[her]_3935-i furrowed sire]_{3937-her furrowed sire} . " [Papa]_140-papa , [I]_3935-i love [you]_140-papa both , "_[3935-i] said [she]_3935-i ; " [I]_3935-i can take care of [you]_140-papa both . [I]_3935-i need not send [Graham]_135-graham away - [he]_135-graham can live [here]_4212-here ; [he]_135-graham will be no inconvenience , "_[3935-i] [she]_3935-i alleged with that simplicity of phraseology which at times was wo nt to make both [[her]_3935-i father]_{643-her father} and [Graham]_135-graham smile . [They]_3939-i smiled now . " [He]_135-graham will be a prodigious inconvenience to [me]_3939-i , "_[3939-i] still [persisted Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} . " [I]_3939-i do n't want [him]_135-graham , [Polly]_141-paulina , [he]_135-graham is too tall ; [he]_135-graham is in [my]_3939-i way . Tell [him]_135-graham to march . "_[3939-i] " [You]_141-paulina will get used to [him]_135-graham , [papa]_4218-papa . [He]_135-graham seemed exceedingly tall to [me]_3935-i at first - like a tower when [I]_3935-i looked up at [him]_135-graham ; but , on the whole , [I]_3935-i would rather not have [him]_135-graham otherwise . "_[3935-i] " [I]_3935-i object to [him]_135-graham altogether , [Polly]_141-paulina ; [I]_3935-i can do without [a son - in - law]_{7318-a son - in - law} . [I]_3935-i should never have requested [the best man in [the land]_{1701-the land}]_{7319-the best man in the land} to stand to [me]_3935-i in that relation . Dismiss [this gentleman]_{5897-this gentleman} . "_[3935-i] " But [he]_135-graham has known [you]_141-paulina so long , [papa]_4218-papa , and suits [you]_141-paulina so well . "_[3939-i] " Suits [me]_3935-i , forsooth ! Yes ; [he]_135-graham has pretended to make [my]_3935-i opinions and tastes [his]_135-graham own . [He]_135-graham has humoured [me]_3935-i for good reasons . [I]_3935-i think , [Polly]_141-paulina , [you]_141-paulina and [I]_3935-i will bid [him]_135-graham good - by . "_[3935-i] " Till to - morrow only . Shake hands with [Graham]_135-graham , [papa]_4218-papa . "_[3935-i] " No : [I]_3939-i think not : [I]_3939-i am not friends with [him]_135-graham . Do n't think to coax [me]_3939-i between [you]_4218-papa . "_[3939-i] " Indeed , indeed , [you]_4218-papa are [friends]_533-friends . [Graham]_135-graham , stretch out [your]_135-graham right hand . [Papa]_140-papa , put out [yours]_135-graham . Now , let [them]_7325-them touch . [Papa]_140-papa , do n't be stiff ; close [your]_135-graham fingers ; be pliant - there ! But that is not a clasp - it is a grasp ? [Papa]_140-papa , [you]_135-graham grasp like a vice . [You]_135-graham crush [Graham]_135-graham 's hand to the bone ; [you]_135-graham hurt [him]_135-graham ! "_[3935-i] [He]_3940-he must have hurt [him]_3940-he ; for [he]_3940-he wore a massive ring , set round with brilliants , of which the sharp facets cut into [Graham]_135-graham 's flesh and drew blood : but pain only made [Dr. John]_135-graham laugh , as anxiety had made [him]_135-graham smile . " Come with [me]_{134-mr. home} into [[my]_{134-mr. home} study]_{7326-my study} , "_{[134-mr. home]} at last said [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} to [the doctor]_{4288-the doctor} . [They]_3942-they went . [Their]_3942-they intercourse was not long , but [I]_0-i suppose it was conclusive . [The suitor]_{3943-the suitor} had to undergo an interrogatory and a scrutiny on many things . Whether [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham was at times guileful in look and language or not , there was a sound foundation below . [His]_135-graham answers , [I]_0-i understood afterwards , evinced both wisdom and integrity . [He]_135-graham had managed [his]_135-graham affairs well . [He]_135-graham had struggled through entanglements ; [his]_135-graham fortunes were in the way of retrieval ; [he]_135-graham proved [himself]_135-graham in a position to marry . Once more [the father]_{2571-the father} and [lover]_3945-lover appeared in [the library]_{2633-the library} . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} shut the door ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} pointed to [[his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} daughter]_{686-his daughter} . " Take [her]_{686-his daughter} , "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} said . " Take [her]_{686-his daughter} , [John Bretton]_135-graham : and may [God]_164-god deal with [you]_135-graham as [you]_135-graham deal with [her]_{686-his daughter} ! "_{[178-m. de bassompierre]} Not long after , perhaps a fortnight , [I]_0-i saw [three persons]_{3948-three persons} , [Count de Bassompierre]_{353-the count de bassompierre} , [[his]_{178-m. de bassompierre} daughter]_{686-his daughter} , and [Dr. Graham Bretton]_135-graham , sitting on one seat , under a low - spreading and umbrageous tree , in [the grounds of [the palace]_{3951-the palace} at [Bois l'Etang]_{81-bois l'etang}]_{3950-the grounds of the palace at bois l'etang} . [They]_{3948-three persons} had come thither to enjoy a summer evening : outside the magnificent gates [[their]_{3948-three persons} carriage]_{3952-their carriage} waited to take [them]_{3948-three persons} [home]_542-home ; the green sweeps of turf spread round [them]_{3948-three persons} quiet and dim ; [the palace]_{3951-the palace} rose at a distance , white as a crag on Pentelicus ; the evening star shone above it ; a forest of flowering shrubs embalmed the climate of [this spot]_{3955-this spot} ; the hour was still and sweet ; the scene , but for [this group]_{3956-this group} , was solitary . [Paulina]_141-paulina sat between [the two gentlemen]_{3957-the two gentlemen} : while [they]_{3957-the two gentlemen} conversed , [her]_141-paulina little hands were busy at some work ; [I]_0-i thought at first [she]_141-paulina was binding a nosegay . No ; with the tiny pair of scissors , glittering in [her]_141-paulina lap , [she]_141-paulina had severed spoils from each manly head beside [her]_141-paulina , and was now occupied in plaiting together the grey lock and the golden wave . The plait woven - no silk - thread being at hand to bind it - a tress of [her]_141-paulina own hair was made to serve that purpose ; [she]_141-paulina tied it like a knot , prisoned it in a locket , and laid it on [her]_141-paulina heart . " Now , "_{[141-paulina]} said [she]_141-paulina , " there is an amulet made , which has virtue to keep [[you]_0-i two always [friends]_533-friends]_{7327-you two always friends} . [You]_0-i can never quarrel so long as [I]_141-paulina wear this . "_{[141-paulina]} An amulet was indeed made , a spell framed which rendered enmity impossible . [She]_141-paulina was become a bond to both , an influence over each , a mutual concord . From [them]_{3957-the two gentlemen} [she]_141-paulina drew [her]_141-paulina happiness , and what [she]_141-paulina borrowed , [she]_141-paulina , with interest , gave back . " Is there , indeed , such happiness on [earth]_4454-earth ? "_[0-i] [I]_0-i asked , as [I]_0-i watched [the father]_{2571-the father} , [the daughter]_{3934-the daughter} , [the future husband]_{3960-the future husband} , now united - all blessed and blessing . Yes ; it is so . Without any colouring of romance , or any exaggeration of fancy , it is so . Some real lives do - for some certain days or years - actually anticipate the happiness of Heaven ; and , [I]_0-i believe , if such perfect happiness is once felt by [good people]_{1789-good people} to the wicked it never comes , its sweet effect is never wholly lost . Whatever trials follow , whatever pains of sickness or shades of death , the glory precedent still shines through , cheering the keen anguish , and tinging the deep cloud . [I]_0-i will go farther . [I]_0-i do believe there are [some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave]_{3962-some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave} , that no excessive suffering penetrates [their]_{3962-some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave} lot , and no tempestuous blackness overcasts [their]_{3962-some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave} journey . And often , these are not pampered , [selfish beings]_{3963-selfish beings} , but [Nature]_296-nature 's elect , harmonious and benign ; [men]_4397-men and [women]_4398-women mild with charity , [kind agents of [God]_164-god 's kind attributes]_{3966-kind agents of god 's kind attributes} . Let [me]_0-i not delay the happy truth . [Graham Bretton]_135-graham and [Paulina de Bassompierre]_141-paulina were married , and [such an agent]_{3967-such an agent} did [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham prove . [He]_135-graham did not with time degenerate ; [his]_135-graham faults decayed , [his]_135-graham virtues ripened ; [he]_135-graham rose in intellectual refinement , [he]_135-graham won in moral profit : all dregs filtered away , the clear wine settled bright and tranquil . [Bright]_455-bright , too , was the destiny of [[his]_135-graham sweet wife]_{3968-his sweet wife} . [She]_{3968-his sweet wife} kept [[her]_{3968-his sweet wife} husband]_{509-her husband} 's love , [she]_{3968-his sweet wife} aided in [his]_135-graham progress - of [his]_135-graham happiness [she]_{3968-his sweet wife} was the corner stone . [This pair]_{2757-this pair} was blessed indeed , for years brought [them]_{2757-this pair} , with great prosperity , great goodness : [they]_{2757-this pair} imparted with open hand , yet wisely . Doubtless [they]_{2757-this pair} knew crosses , disappointments , difficulties ; but these were well borne . More than once , too , [they]_{2757-this pair} had to look on [Him]_135-graham whose face flesh scarce can see and live : [they]_{2757-this pair} had to pay [their]_{2757-this pair} tribute to [the King of Terrors]_{3971-the king of terrors} . In the fulness of years , [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was taken : in ripe old age departed [Louisa Bretton]_{350-louisa bretton} . Once even there rose a cry in [[their]_{2757-this pair} halls]_{3972-their halls} , of [Rachel]_456-rachel weeping for [[her]_456-rachel children]_{5002-her children} ; but [others]_770-others sprang healthy and blooming to replace the lost : [Dr. Bretton]_135-graham saw [himself]_135-graham live again in [a son who inherited [his]_135-graham looks and [his]_135-graham disposition]_{3975-a son who inherited his looks and his disposition} ; [he]_135-graham had stately daughters , too , like [himself]_135-graham : [these children [he]_135-graham reared with a suave , yet a firm hand]_{3976-these children he reared with a suave , yet a firm hand} ; [they]_{3976-these children he reared with a suave , yet a firm hand} grew up according to inheritance and nurture . In short , [I]_0-i do but speak the truth when [I]_0-i say that these two lives of [Graham]_135-graham and [Paulina]_141-paulina were blessed , like that of [[Jacob]_154-jacob 's favoured son]_{3977-jacob 's favoured son} , with " blessings of Heaven above , blessings of [the deep that lies under]_{7330-the deep that lies under} . "_[154-jacob] It was so , for [God]_164-god saw that it was good . CHAPTER XXXVIII . CLOUD . But it is not so for all . What then ? [His]_135-graham will be done , as done it surely will be , whether [we]_3978-we humble [ourselves]_3978-we to resignation or not . The impulse of creation forwards it ; the strength of powers , seen and unseen , has its fulfilment in charge . Proof of a life to come must be given . In fire and in blood , if needful , must that proof be written . In fire and in blood do [we]_3978-we trace the record throughout nature . In fire and in blood does it cross [our]_3978-we own experience . [Sufferer]_{3979-sufferer} , faint not through terror of this burning evidence . [Tired wayfarer]_{3980-tired wayfarer} , gird up [thy]_{3980-tired wayfarer} loins ; look upward , march onward . [Pilgrims]_{3981-pilgrims} and [brother mourners]_{3982-brother mourners} , join in friendly company . Dark through [the wilderness of [this world]_{4390-this world}]_{3983-the wilderness of this world} stretches the way for most of [us]_3978-we : equal and steady be [our]_3978-we tread ; be [our]_3978-we cross [our]_3978-we banner . For staff [we]_3978-we have [His]_135-graham promise , whose " word is tried , whose way perfect : "_[135-graham] for present hope [His]_135-graham providence , " who gives the shield of salvation , whose gentleness makes great ; "_[135-graham] for final home [His]_135-graham bosom , who " dwells in [the height of Heaven]_{7331-the height of heaven} ; "_[135-graham] for crowning prize a glory , exceeding and eternal . Let [us]_3978-we so run that [we]_3978-we may obtain : let [us]_3978-we endure hardness as [good soldiers]_{3985-good soldiers} ; let [us]_3978-we finish [our]_3978-we course , and keep the faith , reliant in the issue to come off more than [conquerors]_{3986-conquerors} : " Art [thou]_7332-thou not from everlasting mine Holy One ? [WE]_3978-we SHALL NOT DIE ! "_{[3987-the master]} On a Thursday morning [we]_3978-we were all assembled in classe , waiting for the lesson of literature . The hour was come ; [we]_3978-we expected [the master]_{3987-the master} . [The pupils of the first classe]_{3988-the pupils of the first classe} sat very still ; the cleanly - written compositions prepared since the last lesson lay ready before [them]_{3988-the pupils of the first classe} , neatly tied with ribbon , waiting to be gathered by the hand of [the Professor]_{2055-the professor} as [he]_{2055-the professor} made [his]_{2055-the professor} rapid round of the desks . The month was July , the morning fine , the glass - door stood ajar , through it played a fresh breeze , and plants , growing at the lintel , waved , bent , looked in , seeming to whisper tidings . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} was not always quite punctual ; [we]_3978-we scarcely wondered at [his]_{196-m. paul} being a little late , but [we]_3978-we wondered when the door at last opened and , instead of [him]_{196-m. paul} with [his]_{196-m. paul} swiftness and [his]_{196-m. paul} fire , there came quietly upon [us]_3978-we the cautious [Madame Beck]_190-madame . [She]_190-madame approached [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's desk ; [she]_190-madame stood before it ; [she]_190-madame drew round [her]_190-madame the light shawl covering [her]_190-madame shoulders ; beginning to speak in low , yet firm tones , and with a fixed gaze , [she]_190-madame said , " This morning there will be no lesson of literature . "_[190-madame] The second paragraph of [her]_190-madame address followed , after about two minutes ' pause . " It is probable the lessons will be suspended for a week . [I]_190-madame shall require at least that space of time to find an efficient substitute for [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} . Meanwhile , it shall be [[our]_3978-we study]_{7333-our study} to fill the blanks usefully . "_[190-madame] [[Your]_3990-you Professor]_{3991-your professor} , [ladies]_622-ladies , " [she]_190-madame went on , "_[190-madame] intends , if possible , duly to take leave of [you]_3990-you . At the present moment [he]_{3991-your professor} has not leisure for that ceremony . [He]_{3991-your professor} is preparing for a long voyage . A very sudden and urgent summons of duty calls [him]_{3991-your professor} to a great distance . [He]_{3991-your professor} has decided to leave [Europe]_17-europe for an indefinite time . Perhaps [he]_{3991-your professor} may tell [you]_3990-you more [himself]_{3991-your professor} . [Ladies]_622-ladies , instead of the usual lesson with [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , [you]_3990-you will , this morning , read English with [Mademoiselle Lucy]_333-lucy . " [She]_190-madame bent [her]_190-madame head courteously , drew closer the folds of [her]_190-madame shawl , and passed from [the classe]_{2648-the classe} . A great silence fell : then a murmur went round [the room]_{600-the room} : [I]_{196-m. paul} believe [some pupils]_{7336-some pupils} wept . Some time elapsed . The noise , the whispering , the occasional sobbing increased . [I]_{196-m. paul} became conscious of a relaxation of discipline , a sort of growing disorder , as if [[my]_{196-m. paul} girls]_{7337-my girls} felt that vigilance was withdrawn , and that surveillance had virtually left [the classe]_{2648-the classe} . Habit and the sense of duty enabled [me]_{196-m. paul} to rally quickly , to rise in [my]_{196-m. paul} usual way , to speak in [my]_{196-m. paul} usual tone , to enjoin , and finally to establish quiet . [I]_{196-m. paul} made the English reading long and close . [I]_{196-m. paul} kept [them]_{7337-my girls} at it the whole morning . [I]_{196-m. paul} remember feeling a sentiment of impatience towards [the pupils who sobbed]_{7339-the pupils who sobbed} . Indeed , [their]_{7339-the pupils who sobbed} emotion was not of much value : it was only an hysteric agitation . [I]_{196-m. paul} told [them]_{7339-the pupils who sobbed} so unsparingly . [I]_{196-m. paul} half ridiculed [them]_{7339-the pupils who sobbed} . [I]_{196-m. paul} was severe . The truth was , [I]_{196-m. paul} could not do with [their]_{7339-the pupils who sobbed} tears , or that gasping sound ; [I]_{196-m. paul} could not bear it . [A rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} kept it up when [the others]_{5058-the others} had done ; relentless necessity obliged and assisted [me]_{196-m. paul} so to accost [her]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} , that [she]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} dared not carry on the demonstration , that [she]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} was forced to conquer the convulsion . [That girl]_{7342-that girl} would have had a right to hate [me]_{196-m. paul} , except that , when [school]_675-school was over and [[her]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} companions]_{1668-her companions} departing , [I]_{196-m. paul} ordered [her]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} to stay , and when [they]_{1668-her companions} were gone , [I]_{196-m. paul} did what [I]_{196-m. paul} had never done to one among [them]_{1668-her companions} before - pressed [her]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} to [my]_{196-m. paul} heart and kissed [her]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} cheek . But , this impulse yielded to , [I]_{196-m. paul} speedily put [her]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} out of the classe , for , upon that poignant strain , [she]_{7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil} wept more bitterly than ever . [I]_{196-m. paul} filled with occupation every minute of that day , and should have liked to sit up all night if [I]_{196-m. paul} might have kept a candle burning ; the night , however , proved a bad time , and left bad effects , preparing [me]_{196-m. paul} ill for the next day 's ordeal of insufferable gossip . Of course this news fell under general discussion . Some little reserve had accompanied the first surprise : that soon wore off ; every mouth opened ; every tongue wagged ; [teachers]_{1087-teachers} , [pupils]_4924-pupils , [the very servants]_{7347-the very servants} , mouthed the name of "_{[196-m. paul]} [Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} . " [He]_{196-m. paul} , whose connection with [the school]_{4856-the school} was contemporary with its commencement , thus suddenly to withdraw ! [All]_4382-all felt it strange . [They]_{1668-her companions} talked so much , so long , so often , that , out of the very multitude of [their]_{1668-her companions} words and rumours , grew at last some intelligence . About the third day [I]_{196-m. paul} heard it said that [he]_{196-m. paul} was to sail in a week ; then - that [he]_{196-m. paul} was bound for [the West Indies]_{112-the west indies} . [I]_{196-m. paul} looked at [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's face , and into [her]_3994-her eyes , for disproof or confirmation of this report ; [I]_{196-m. paul} perused [her]_3994-her all over for information , but no part of [her]_3994-her disclosed more than what was unperturbed and commonplace . "_{[196-m. paul]} This secession was an immense loss to [her]_3994-her , " [she]_3994-her alleged . "_[3994-her] [She]_3994-her did not know how [she]_3994-her should fill up the vacancy . [She]_3994-her was so used to [[her]_3994-her kinsman]_{2823-her kinsman} , [he]_{2823-her kinsman} had become [her]_3994-her right hand ; what should [she]_3994-her do without [him]_{2823-her kinsman} ? [She]_3994-her had opposed the step , but [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} had convinced [her]_3994-her it was [his]_{2823-her kinsman} duty . " [She]_3994-her said all this in public , in classe , at the dinner - table , speaking audibly to [Zelie St. Pierre]_{261-mademoiselle} . "_{[196-m. paul]} Why was it [his]_{2823-her kinsman} duty ? " [I]_{196-m. paul} could have asked [her]_3994-her that . [I]_{196-m. paul} had impulses to take hold of [her]_3994-her suddenly , as [she]_3994-her calmly passed [me]_{196-m. paul} in classe , to stretch out [my]_{196-m. paul} hand and grasp [her]_3994-her fast , and say , "_{[196-m. paul]} Stop . Let [us]_3996-us hear the conclusion of the whole matter . Why is it [his]_{2823-her kinsman} duty to go into banishment ? " But [Madame]_190-madame always addressed [some other teacher]_{7350-some other teacher} , and never looked at [me]_{457-basseterre} , never seemed conscious [I]_{457-basseterre} could have a care in the question . The week wore on . Nothing more was said about [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} coming to bid [us]_3996-us good - by ; and [none]_4383-none seemed anxious for [his]_{2823-her kinsman} coming ; [none]_4383-none questioned whether or not [he]_{2823-her kinsman} would come ; [none]_4383-none betrayed torment lest [he]_{2823-her kinsman} should depart silent and unseen ; incessantly did [they]_3996-us talk , and never , in all [their]_3996-us talk , touched on this vital point . As to [Madame]_190-madame , [she]_190-madame of course could see [him]_{2823-her kinsman} , and say to [him]_{2823-her kinsman} as much as [she]_190-madame pleased . What should [she]_190-madame care whether or not [he]_{2823-her kinsman} appeared in [the schoolroom]_{5162-the schoolroom} ? The week consumed . [We]_3996-us were told that [he]_{2823-her kinsman} was going on such a day , that [his]_{2823-her kinsman} destination was "_{[457-basseterre]} [Basseterre]_{457-basseterre} in [Guadaloupe]_{113-guadaloupe} : " the business which called [him]_{2823-her kinsman} abroad related to [a friend]_{1797-a friend} 's interests , not [his]_{2823-her kinsman} own : [I]_{457-basseterre} thought as much . "_{[457-basseterre]} Basseterre in [Guadaloupe]_{113-guadaloupe} . " [I]_{457-basseterre} had little sleep about this time , but whenever [I]_{457-basseterre} did slumber , it followed infallibly that [I]_{457-basseterre} was quickly roused with a start , while the words "_{[457-basseterre]} [Basseterre]_{457-basseterre} , " "_{[457-basseterre]} [Guadaloupe]_{113-guadaloupe} , " seemed pronounced over [my]_{457-basseterre} pillow , or ran athwart the darkness round and before [me]_{457-basseterre} , in zigzag characters of red or violet light . For what [I]_{457-basseterre} felt there was no help , and how could [I]_{457-basseterre} help feeling ? [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} had been very kind to [me]_{457-basseterre} of late days ; [he]_{2823-her kinsman} had been growing hourly better and kinder . It was now a month since [we]_7356-we had settled the theological difference , and in all that time there had been no quarrel . Nor had [our]_7356-we peace been the cold daughter of divorce ; [we]_7356-we had not lived aloof ; [he]_{2823-her kinsman} had come oftener , [he]_{2823-her kinsman} had talked with [me]_{457-basseterre} more than before ; [he]_{2823-her kinsman} had spent hours with [me]_{457-basseterre} , with temper soothed , with eye content , with manner home - like and mild . Kind subjects of conversation had grown between [us]_7356-we ; [he]_{2823-her kinsman} had inquired into [my]_{457-basseterre} plans of life , and [I]_{457-basseterre} had communicated them ; the school project pleased [him]_{2823-her kinsman} ; [he]_{2823-her kinsman} made [me]_{457-basseterre} repeat it more than once , though [he]_{2823-her kinsman} called it an Alnaschar dream . The jar was over ; the mutual understanding was settling and fixing ; feelings of union and hope made themselves profoundly felt in the heart ; affection and deep esteem and dawning trust had each fastened its bond . What quiet lessons [I]_{457-basseterre} had about this time ! No more taunts on [my]_{457-basseterre} "_{[457-basseterre]} intellect , " no more menaces of grating public shows ! How sweetly , for [the jealous gibe]_{7357-the jealous gibe} , and the more jealous , half - passionate eulogy , were substituted a mute , indulgent help , a fond guidance , and a tender forbearance which forgave but never praised . There were times when [he]_{2823-her kinsman} would sit for many minutes and not speak at all ; and when dusk or duty brought separation , [he]_{2823-her kinsman} would leave with words like these , "_{[457-basseterre]} Il est doux , le repos ! Il est precieux le calme bonheur ! " One evening , not ten short days since , [he]_{2823-her kinsman} joined [me]_{457-basseterre} whilst walking in [[my]_{457-basseterre} alley]_{5104-my alley} . [He]_{2823-her kinsman} took [my]_{457-basseterre} hand . [I]_{457-basseterre} looked up in [his]_{2823-her kinsman} face . [I]_{457-basseterre} thought [he]_{2823-her kinsman} meant to arrest [my]_{457-basseterre} attention . "_{[457-basseterre]} Bonne petite amie ! " said [he]_{2823-her kinsman} , softly ; "_{[457-basseterre]} douce consolatrice ! " But through [his]_{2823-her kinsman} touch , and with [his]_{2823-her kinsman} words , a new feeling and a strange thought found a course . Could it be that [he]_{2823-her kinsman} was becoming more than [friend]_5752-friend or [brother]_3860-brother ? Did [his]_{2823-her kinsman} look speak a kindness beyond fraternity or amity ? [His]_{2823-her kinsman} eloquent look had more to say , [his]_{2823-her kinsman} hand drew [me]_{457-basseterre} forward , [his]_{2823-her kinsman} interpreting lips stirred . No . Not now . Here into [the twilight alley]_{7361-the twilight alley} broke an interruption : it came dual and ominous : [we]_7362-we faced two bodeful forms - [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's and [a priest]_{5700-a priest} 's - [Madame Beck]_190-madame and [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} . The aspect of the latter [I]_{457-basseterre} shall never forget . On the first impulse it expressed a Jean - Jacques sensibility , stirred by the signs of affection just surprised ; then , immediately , darkened over it the jaundice of ecclesiastical jealousy . [He]_{2823-her kinsman} spoke to [me]_{457-basseterre} with unction . [He]_{2823-her kinsman} looked on [[his]_{2823-her kinsman} pupil]_{7365-his pupil} with sternness . As to [Madame Beck]_190-madame , [she]_190-madame , of course , saw nothing - nothing ; though [[her]_190-madame kinsman]_{2823-her kinsman} retained in [her]_190-madame presence the hand of [the heretic foreigner]_{7367-the heretic foreigner} , not suffering withdrawal , but clasping it close and fast . Following these incidents , that sudden announcement of departure had struck [me]_{457-basseterre} at first as incredible . Indeed , it was only frequent repetition , and the credence of the hundred and fifty minds round [me]_{457-basseterre} , which forced on [me]_{457-basseterre} its full acceptance . As to that week of suspense , with its blank , yet burning days , which brought from [him]_{2823-her kinsman} no word of explanation - [I]_{457-basseterre} remember , but [I]_{457-basseterre} can not describe its passage . The last day broke . Now would [he]_{2823-her kinsman} visit [us]_7368-they . Now [he]_{2823-her kinsman} would come and speak [his]_{2823-her kinsman} farewell , or [he]_{2823-her kinsman} would vanish mute , and be seen by [us]_7368-they nevermore . This alternative seemed to be present in the mind of not a living creature in [that school]_{4771-that school} . All rose at the usual hour ; all breakfasted as usual ; all , without reference to , or apparent thought of [[their]_7368-they late Professor]_{7370-their late professor} , betook [themselves]_7368-they with wonted phlegm to [their]_7368-they ordinary duties . So oblivious was [the house]_{518-the house} , so tame , so trained its proceedings , so inexpectant its aspect - [I]_{457-basseterre} scarce knew how to breathe in an atmosphere thus stagnant , thus smothering . Would [no one]_{2867-no one} lend [me]_{457-basseterre} a voice ? Had [no one]_{2867-no one} a wish , [no one]_{2867-no one} a word , [no one]_{2867-no one} a prayer to which [I]_{457-basseterre} could say - Amen ? [I]_{457-basseterre} had seen [them]_7368-they unanimous in demand for the merest trifle - a treat , a holiday , a lesson 's remission ; [they]_7368-they could not , [they]_7368-they would not now band to besiege [Madame Beck]_190-madame , and insist on a last interview with [a Master who had certainly been loved , at least by some]_{7376-a master who had certainly been loved , at least by some} - loved as [they]_7368-they could love - but , oh ! what is the love of [the multitude]_{7377-the multitude} ? [I]_{457-basseterre} knew where [he]_{7376-a master who had certainly been loved , at least by some} lived : [I]_{457-basseterre} knew where [he]_{7376-a master who had certainly been loved , at least by some} was to be heard of , or communicated with ; the distance was scarce a stone's - throw : had it been in [the next room]_{7378-the next room} - unsummoned , [I]_{457-basseterre} could make no use of [my]_{457-basseterre} knowledge . To follow , to seek out , to remind , to recall - for these things [I]_{457-basseterre} had [no faculty]_{7379-no faculty} . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} might have passed within reach of [my]_{457-basseterre} arm : had [he]_{196-m. paul} passed silent and unnoticing , silent and stirless should [I]_{457-basseterre} have suffered [him]_{196-m. paul} to go by . Morning wasted . Afternoon came , and [I]_{457-basseterre} thought all was over . [My]_{457-basseterre} heart trembled in its place . [My]_{457-basseterre} blood was troubled in its current . [I]_{457-basseterre} was quite sick , and hardly knew how to keep at [my]_{457-basseterre} post - or do [my]_{457-basseterre} work . Yet the little world round [me]_{457-basseterre} plodded on indifferent ; all seemed jocund , free of care , or fear , or thought : [the very pupils who , seven days since , had wept hysterically at a startling piece of news]_{7380-the very pupils who , seven days since , had wept hysterically at a startling piece of news} , appeared quite to have forgotten the news , its import , and [their]_{7380-the very pupils who , seven days since , had wept hysterically at a startling piece of news} emotion . A little before five o'clock , the hour of dismissal , [Madame Beck]_190-madame sent for [me]_{457-basseterre} to [[her]_190-madame chamber]_{1070-her chamber} , to read over and translate some English letter [she]_190-madame had received , and to write for [her]_190-madame the answer . Before settling to this work , [I]_{457-basseterre} observed that [she]_190-madame softly closed the two doors of [[her]_190-madame chamber]_{1070-her chamber} ; [she]_190-madame even shut and fastened the casement , though it was a hot day , and free circulation of air was usually regarded by [her]_190-madame as indispensable . Why this precaution ? A keen suspicion , an almost fierce distrust , suggested such question . Did [she]_190-madame want to exclude sound ? what sound ? [I]_{457-basseterre} listened as [I]_{457-basseterre} had never listened before ; [I]_{457-basseterre} listened like the evening and winter - wolf , snuffing the snow , scenting prey , and hearing far off [the traveller]_{7383-the traveller} 's tramp . Yet [I]_{457-basseterre} could both listen and write . About the middle of the letter [I]_{457-basseterre} heard - what checked [my]_{457-basseterre} pen - a tread in [the vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} . No door - bell had rung ; [Rosine]_203-rosine - acting doubtless by orders - had anticipated such reveillee . [Madame]_190-madame saw [me]_{457-basseterre} halt . [She]_190-madame coughed , made a bustle , spoke louder . The tread had passed on to [the classes]_{4828-the classes} . "_{[457-basseterre]} Proceed , " said [Madame]_190-madame ; but [my]_3997-my hand was fettered , [my]_3997-my ear enchained , [my]_3997-my thoughts were carried off captive . [The classes]_{4828-the classes} formed [another building]_{7387-another building} ; [the hall]_{573-the hall} parted [them]_{4828-the classes} from [the dwelling - house]_{4822-the dwelling - house} : despite distance and partition , [I]_3997-my heard the sudden stir of numbers , a whole division rising at once . "_[3997-my] [They]_3997-my are putting away work , " said [Madame]_190-madame . It was indeed the hour to put away work , but why that sudden hush - that instant quell of the tumult ? "_[3997-my] Wait , [Madame]_190-madame - [I]_0-i will see what it is . " And [I]_0-i put down [my]_0-i pen and left [her]_190-madame . Left [her]_190-madame ? No : [she]_190-madame would not be left : powerless to detain [me]_0-i , [she]_190-madame rose and followed , close as [my]_0-i shadow . [I]_0-i turned on the last step of the stair . "_[0-i] Are [you]_190-madame coming , too ? " [I]_190-madame asked . "_[190-madame] Yes , " said [she]_190-madame ; meeting [my]_190-madame glance with a peculiar aspect - a look , clouded , yet resolute . [We]_7390-we proceeded then , not together , but [she]_190-madame walked in [my]_190-madame steps . [He]_7391-he was come . Entering [the first classe]_{1533-the first classe} , [I]_190-madame saw [him]_7391-he . There , once more appeared the form most familiar . [I]_190-madame doubt not [they]_7393-they had tried to keep [him]_7391-he away , but [he]_7391-he was come . [The girls]_{4757-the girls} stood in a semicircle ; [he]_7391-he was passing round , giving [his]_7391-he farewells , pressing each hand , touching with [his]_7391-he lips each cheek . This last ceremony , foreign custom permitted at such a parting - so solemn , to last so long . [I]_190-madame felt it hard that [Madame Beck]_190-madame should dog [me]_190-madame thus ; following and watching [me]_190-madame close ; [my]_190-madame neck and shoulder shrunk in fever under [her]_190-madame breath ; [I]_190-madame became terribly goaded . [He]_7391-he was approaching ; the semicircle was almost travelled round ; [he]_7391-he came to [the last pupil]_{7395-the last pupil} ; [he]_7391-he turned . But [Madame]_190-madame was before [me]_190-madame ; [she]_190-madame had stepped out suddenly ; [she]_190-madame seemed to magnify [her]_190-madame proportions and amplify [her]_190-madame drapery ; [she]_190-madame eclipsed [me]_190-madame ; [I]_190-madame was hid . [She]_190-madame knew [my]_190-madame weakness and deficiency ; [she]_190-madame could calculate the degree of moral paralysis - the total default of self - assertion - with which , in a crisis , [I]_190-madame could be struck . [She]_190-madame hastened to [[her]_190-madame kinsman]_{2823-her kinsman} , [she]_190-madame broke upon [him]_{2823-her kinsman} volubly , [she]_190-madame mastered [his]_{2823-her kinsman} attention , [she]_190-madame hurried [him]_{2823-her kinsman} to the door - the glass - door opening on [the garden]_{1165-the garden} . [I]_190-madame think [he]_{2823-her kinsman} looked round ; could [I]_190-madame but have caught [his]_{2823-her kinsman} eye , courage , [I]_190-madame think , would have rushed in to aid feeling , and there would have been a charge , and , perhaps , a rescue ; but already [the room]_{600-the room} was all confusion , the semicircle broken into groups , [my]_190-madame figure was lost among thirty more conspicuous . [Madame]_190-madame had [her]_190-madame will ; yes , [she]_190-madame got [him]_{2823-her kinsman} away , and [he]_{2823-her kinsman} had not seen [me]_190-madame ; [he]_{2823-her kinsman} thought [me]_190-madame absent . Five o'clock struck , the loud dismissal - bell rang , [the school]_{4856-the school} separated , [the room]_{600-the room} emptied . There seems , to [my]_190-madame memory , an entire darkness and distraction in some certain minutes [I]_190-madame then passed alone - a grief inexpressible over a loss unendurable . What should [I]_190-madame do ; oh ! what should [I]_190-madame do ; when all [my]_190-madame life 's hope was thus torn by the roots out of [my]_190-madame riven , outraged heart ? What [I]_190-madame should have done , [I]_190-madame know not , when [a little child]_{7401-a little child} - [the least child in [the school]_{4856-the school}]_{7402-the least child in the school} - broke with its simplicity and its unconsciousness into the raging yet silent centre of that inward conflict . "_[190-madame] [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} , " lisped the treble voice , "_[190-madame] [I]_0-i am to give [you]_{261-mademoiselle} that . M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} said [I]_0-i was to seek [you]_{261-mademoiselle} all over [the house]_{518-the house} , from [the grenier]_{2381-the grenier} to [the cellar]_{1598-the cellar} , and when [I]_0-i found [you]_{261-mademoiselle} , to give [you]_{261-mademoiselle} that . " And [the child]_{4206-the child} delivered a note ; the little dove dropped on [my]_0-i knee , its olive leaf plucked off . [I]_0-i found neither address nor name , only these words : - "_[0-i] It was not [my]_0-i intention to take leave of [you]_{261-mademoiselle} when [I]_0-i said good - by to [the rest]_{4001-the rest} , but [I]_0-i hoped to see [you]_{261-mademoiselle} in classe . [I]_0-i was disappointed . The interview is deferred . Be ready for [me]_0-i . Ere [I]_0-i sail , [I]_0-i must see [you]_{261-mademoiselle} at leisure , and speak with [you]_{261-mademoiselle} at length . Be ready ; [my]_0-i moments are numbered , and , just now , monopolized ; besides , [I]_0-i have a private business on hand which [I]_0-i will not share with any , nor communicate - even to [you]_{261-mademoiselle} . - [PAUL]_{196-m. paul} . " "_{[196-m. paul]} Be ready ? " Then it must be this evening : was [he]_{4206-the child} not to go on the morrow ? Yes ; of that point [I]_{196-m. paul} was certain . [I]_{196-m. paul} had seen the date of [[his]_{4206-the child} vessel]_{7405-his vessel} 's departure advertised . Oh ! [I]_{196-m. paul} would be ready , but could that longed - for meeting really be achieved ? the time was so short , [the schemers]_{7406-the schemers} seemed so watchful , so active , so hostile ; the way of access appeared strait as a gully , deep as a chasm - [Apollyon]_458-apollyon straddled across it , breathing flames . Could [[my]_{196-m. paul} Greatheart]_{7407-my greatheart} overcome ? Could [[my]_{196-m. paul} guide]_{4697-my guide} reach [me]_{196-m. paul} ? Who might tell ? Yet [I]_{196-m. paul} began to take some courage , some comfort ; it seemed to [me]_{196-m. paul} that [I]_{196-m. paul} felt a pulse of [his]_{4206-the child} heart beating yet true to the whole throb of [mine]_{196-m. paul} . [I]_{196-m. paul} waited [my]_{196-m. paul} champion . [Apollyon]_458-apollyon came trailing [his]_458-apollyon Hell behind [him]_458-apollyon . [I]_{196-m. paul} think if [Eternity]_459-eternity held torment , its form would not be fiery rack , nor its nature despair . [I]_{196-m. paul} think that on a certain day amongst those days which never dawned , and will not set , [an angel]_{1143-an angel} entered [Hades]_460-hades - stood , shone , smiled , delivered a prophecy of conditional pardon , kindled a doubtful hope of bliss to come , not now , but at a day and hour unlooked for , revealed in [his]_{4206-the child} own glory and grandeur the height and compass of [his]_{4206-the child} promise : spoke thus - then towering , became a star , and vanished into [his]_{4206-the child} own Heaven . [His]_{4206-the child} legacy was suspense - a worse boon than despair . All that evening [I]_{196-m. paul} waited , trusting in the dove - sent olive - leaf , yet in the midst of [my]_{196-m. paul} trust , terribly fearing . [My]_{196-m. paul} fear pressed heavy . Cold and peculiar , [I]_{196-m. paul} knew it for the partner of a rarely - belied presentiment . The first hours seemed long and slow ; in spirit [I]_{196-m. paul} clung to the flying skirts of the last . [They]_7410-they passed like drift cloud - like the wrack scudding before a storm . [They]_7410-they passed . All the long , hot summer day burned away like a Yule - log ; the crimson of its close perished ; [I]_{196-m. paul} was left bent among the cool blue shades , over the pale and ashen gleams of its night . Prayers were over ; it was bed - time ; [[my]_{196-m. paul} co - inmates]_{2337-my co - inmates} were all retired . [I]_{196-m. paul} still remained in the gloomy first classe , forgetting , or at least disregarding , rules [I]_{196-m. paul} had never forgotten or disregarded before . How long [I]_{196-m. paul} paced that classe [I]_{196-m. paul} can not tell ; [I]_{196-m. paul} must have been afoot many hours ; mechanically had [I]_{196-m. paul} moved aside benches and desks , and had made for [myself]_{196-m. paul} a path down [its]_7412-its length . There [I]_{196-m. paul} walked , and there , when certain that [the whole household]_{7413-the whole household} were abed , and quite out of hearing - there , [I]_{196-m. paul} at last wept . Reliant on Night , confiding in Solitude , [I]_{196-m. paul} kept [my]_{196-m. paul} tears sealed , [my]_{196-m. paul} sobs chained , no longer ; they heaved [my]_{196-m. paul} heart ; they tore [their]_7410-they way . In [this house]_{5145-this house} , what grief could be sacred ? Soon after eleven o'clock - a very late hour in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} - the door unclosed , quietly but not stealthily ; a lamp 's flame invaded the moonlight ; [Madame Beck]_190-madame entered , with the same composed air , as if coming on an ordinary occasion , at an ordinary season . Instead of at once addressing [me]_{196-m. paul} , [she]_190-madame went to [her]_190-madame desk , took [her]_190-madame keys , and seemed to seek something : [she]_190-madame loitered over this feigned search long , too long . [She]_190-madame was calm , too calm ; [my]_{196-m. paul} mood scarce endured the pretence ; driven beyond common range , two hours since [I]_{196-m. paul} had left behind [me]_{196-m. paul} wonted respects and fears . Led by a touch , and ruled by a word , under usual circumstances , no yoke could now be borne - [no curb]_{7416-no curb} obeyed . "_{[196-m. paul]} It is more than time for retirement , " said [Madame]_190-madame ; "_[0-i] the rule of [the house]_{518-the house} has already been transgressed too long . " [Madame]_190-madame met no answer : [I]_0-i did not check [my]_0-i walk ; when [she]_190-madame came in [my]_0-i way , [I]_0-i put [her]_190-madame out of it . "_[0-i] Let [me]_0-i persuade [you]_4003-you to calm , [Meess]_4004-meess ; let [me]_0-i lead [you]_4003-you to [[your]_4003-you chamber]_{4005-your chamber} , " said [she]_190-madame , trying to speak softly . "_[0-i] No ! " [I]_0-i said ; "_[0-i] neither [you]_0-i nor [another]_5484-another shall persuade or lead [me]_0-i . " "_[4003-you] [Your]_4003-you bed shall be warmed . [Goton]_276-goton is sitting up still . [She]_276-goton shall make [you]_4003-you comfortable : [she]_276-goton shall give [you]_4003-you a sedative . " "_[276-goton] [Madame]_190-madame , " [I]_190-madame broke out , "_[190-madame] [you]_190-madame are [a sensualist]_{4007-a sensualist} . Under all [your]_190-madame serenity , [your]_190-madame peace , and [your]_190-madame decorum , [you]_190-madame are [an undenied sensualist]_{4008-an undenied sensualist} . Make [your]_190-madame own bed warm and soft ; take sedatives and meats , and drinks spiced and sweet , as much as [you]_190-madame will . If [you]_190-madame have any sorrow or disappointment - and , perhaps , [you]_190-madame have - nay , [I]_0-i know [you]_190-madame have - seek [your]_190-madame own palliatives , in [your]_190-madame own chosen resources . Leave [me]_0-i , however . Leave [me]_0-i , [I]_0-i say ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must send [another]_5484-another to watch [you]_190-madame , [Meess]_{187-meess lucie} : [I]_0-i must send [Goton]_276-goton . " "_[276-goton] [I]_0-i forbid it . Let [me]_0-i alone . Keep [your]_190-madame hand off [me]_0-i , and [my]_0-i life , and [my]_0-i troubles . Oh , [Madame]_190-madame ! in [your]_190-madame hand there is both chill and poison . [You]_190-madame envenom and [you]_190-madame paralyze . " "_[190-madame] What have [I]_0-i done , [Meess]_{187-meess lucie} ? [You]_190-madame must not marry [Paul]_{196-m. paul} . [He]_{196-m. paul} can not marry . " "_{[196-m. paul]} [Dog in the manger]_{4010-dog in the manger} ! " [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} said : for [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} knew [she]_190-madame secretly wanted [him]_{196-m. paul} , and had always wanted [him]_{196-m. paul} . [She]_190-madame called [him]_{196-m. paul} "_{[4010-dog in the manger]} insupportable : " [she]_190-madame railed at [him]_{196-m. paul} for a "_{[4010-dog in the manger]} devot : " [she]_190-madame did not love , but [she]_190-madame wanted to marry , that [she]_190-madame might bind [him]_{196-m. paul} to [her]_190-madame interest . Deep into some of [Madame]_190-madame 's secrets [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} had entered - [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} know not how : by an intuition or an inspiration which came to [me]_{4010-dog in the manger} - [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} know not whence . In the course of living with [her]_190-madame too , [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} had slowly learned , that , unless with [an inferior]_{7417-an inferior} , [she]_190-madame must ever be [a rival]_{7418-a rival} . [She]_190-madame was [[my]_{4010-dog in the manger} rival]_{7419-my rival} , heart and soul , though secretly , under the smoothest bearing , and utterly unknown to all save [her]_190-madame and [myself]_{4010-dog in the manger} . Two minutes [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} stood over [Madame]_190-madame , feeling that [the whole woman]_{7420-the whole woman} was in [my]_{4010-dog in the manger} power , because in some moods , such as the present - in some stimulated states of perception , like that of this instant - [her]_190-madame habitual disguise , [her]_190-madame mask and [her]_190-madame domino , were to [me]_{4010-dog in the manger} a mere network reticulated with holes ; and [I]_{4010-dog in the manger} saw underneath a being heartless , self- indulgent , and ignoble . [She]_190-madame quietly retreated from [me]_{4010-dog in the manger} : meek and self- possessed , though very uneasy , [she]_190-madame said , "_{[4010-dog in the manger]} If [I]_0-i would not be persuaded to take rest , [she]_4011-i must reluctantly leave [me]_0-i . " Which [she]_190-madame did incontinent , perhaps even more glad to get away , than [I]_4011-i was to see [her]_190-madame vanish . This was the sole flash - eliciting , truth - extorting , rencontre which ever occurred between [me]_4011-i and [Madame Beck]_190-madame : this short night - scene was never repeated . It did not one whit change [her]_190-madame manner to [me]_4011-i . [I]_4011-i do not know that [she]_190-madame revenged it . [I]_4011-i do not know that [she]_190-madame hated [me]_4011-i the worse for [my]_4011-i fell candour . [I]_4011-i think [she]_190-madame bucklered [herself]_190-madame with the secret philosophy of [her]_190-madame strong mind , and resolved to forget what it irked [her]_190-madame to remember . [I]_4011-i know that to the end of [our]_7421-our mutual lives there occurred no repetition of , no allusion to , that fiery passage . That night passed : all nights - even the starless night before dissolution - must wear away . About six o'clock , the hour which called up [the household]_{1060-the household} , [I]_4011-i went out to [the court]_{1612-the court} , and washed [my]_4011-i face in [its]_{1612-the court} cold , fresh well - water . Entering by [the carre]_{4820-the carre} , a piece of mirror- glass , set in an oaken cabinet , repeated [my]_4011-i image . It said [I]_4011-i was changed : [my]_4011-i cheeks and lips were sodden white , [my]_4011-i eyes were glassy , and [my]_4011-i eyelids swollen and purple . On rejoining [[my]_4011-i companions]_{3421-my companions} , [I]_4011-i knew [they]_{3421-my companions} all looked at [me]_4011-i - [my]_4011-i heart seemed discovered to [them]_{3421-my companions} : [I]_4011-i believed [myself]_4011-i self - betrayed . Hideously certain did it seem that [the very youngest of [the school]_{4856-the school}]_{7426-the very youngest of the school} must guess why and for whom [I]_4011-i despaired . "_[4011-i] [Isabelle]_221-isabelle , " [the child whom [I]_221-isabelle had once nursed in sickness]_{7428-the child whom i had once nursed in sickness} , approached [me]_221-isabelle . Would [she]_221-isabelle , too , mock [me]_221-isabelle ! "_{[221-isabelle]} Que vous etes pale ! Vous etes donc bien malade , [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} ! " said [she]_221-isabelle , putting [her]_221-isabelle finger in [her]_221-isabelle mouth , and staring with a wistful stupidity which at the moment seemed to [me]_{261-mademoiselle} more beautiful than the keenest intelligence . [Isabelle]_221-isabelle did not long stand alone in the recommendation of ignorance : before the day was over , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} gathered cause of gratitude towards [the whole blind household]_{7429-the whole blind household} . [The multitude]_{7377-the multitude} have something else to do than to read hearts and interpret dark sayings . Who wills , may keep [his]_7431-his own counsel - be [his]_7431-his own secret 's sovereign . In the course of that day , proof met [me]_{261-mademoiselle} on proof , not only that the cause of [my]_{261-mademoiselle} present sorrow was unguessed , but that [my]_{261-mademoiselle} whole inner life for the last six months , was still [mine]_{261-mademoiselle} only . It was not known - it had not been noted - that [I]_{261-mademoiselle} held in peculiar value one life among all lives . [Gossip]_461-gossip had passed [me]_{261-mademoiselle} by ; curiosity had looked [me]_{261-mademoiselle} over ; both subtle influences , hovering always round , had never become centred upon [me]_{261-mademoiselle} . [A given organization]_{7432-a given organization} may live in a full fever - hospital , and escape typhus . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} had come and gone : [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had been taught and sought ; in season and out of season [he]_{196-m. paul} had called [me]_{261-mademoiselle} , and [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had obeyed [him]_{196-m. paul} : "_{[261-mademoiselle]} M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} wants [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy " - "_{[196-m. paul]} [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy is with [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} " - such had been the perpetual bulletin ; and [nobody]_4256-nobody commented , far less condemned . [Nobody]_4256-nobody hinted , [nobody]_4256-nobody jested . [Madame Beck]_190-madame read the riddle : [none else]_{7436-none else} resolved it . What [I]_{196-m. paul} now suffered was called illness - a headache : [I]_{196-m. paul} accepted the baptism . But what bodily illness was ever like this pain ? This certainty that [he]_{196-m. paul} was gone without a farewell - this cruel conviction that fate and pursuing furies - [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's envy and [a priest]_{5700-a priest} 's bigotry - would suffer [me]_{196-m. paul} to see [him]_{196-m. paul} no more ? What wonder that the second evening found [me]_{196-m. paul} like the first - untamed , tortured , again pacing [a solitary room]_{7439-a solitary room} in an unalterable passion of silent desolation ? [Madame Beck]_190-madame did not [herself]_190-madame summon [me]_{196-m. paul} to bed that night - [she]_190-madame did not come near [me]_{196-m. paul} : [she]_190-madame sent [Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra - a more efficient agent for the purpose [she]_190-madame could not have employed . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra 's first words - "_{[196-m. paul]} Is [your]_4012-your headache very bad to - night ? " for [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , like the rest , thought [I]_190-madame had a headache - an intolerable headache which made [me]_190-madame frightfully white in the face , and insanely restless in the foot - [her]_179-ginevra first words , [I]_190-madame say , inspired the impulse to flee anywhere , so that it were only out of reach . And soon , what followed - plaints about [her]_179-ginevra own headaches - completed the business . [I]_190-madame went up - [stairs]_593-stairs . Presently [I]_190-madame was in [my]_190-madame bed - [[my]_190-madame miserable bed]_{7441-my miserable bed} - haunted with quick scorpions . [I]_190-madame had not been laid down five minutes , when [another emissary]_{7442-another emissary} arrived : [Goton]_276-goton came , bringing [me]_190-madame something to drink . [I]_190-madame was consumed with thirst - [I]_190-madame drank eagerly ; the beverage was sweet , but [I]_190-madame tasted a drug . "_[190-madame] [Madame]_190-madame says it will make [you]_4013-you sleep , chou - chou , " said [Goton]_276-goton , as [she]_276-goton received back the emptied cup . Ah ! the sedative had been administered . In fact , [they]_7443-they had given [me]_190-madame a strong opiate . [I]_190-madame was to be held quiet for one night . [The household]_{1060-the household} came to bed , the night - light was lit , [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} hushed . Sleep soon reigned : over those pillows , sleep won an easy supremacy : contented sovereign over heads and hearts which did not ache - [he]_{7442-another emissary} passed by the unquiet . The drug wrought . [I]_190-madame know not whether [Madame]_190-madame had overcharged or under- charged the dose ; its result was not that [she]_190-madame intended . Instead of stupor , came excitement . [I]_190-madame became alive to new thought - to reverie peculiar in colouring . A gathering call ran among [the faculties]_{5525-the faculties} , [their]_{5525-the faculties} bugles sang , [their]_{5525-the faculties} trumpets rang an untimely summons . [Imagination]_{316-imagination} was roused from [her]_{316-imagination} rest , and [she]_{316-imagination} came forth impetuous and venturous . With scorn [she]_{316-imagination} looked on [Matter]_462-matter , [[her]_{316-imagination} mate]_{7447-her mate} - "_[190-madame] Rise ! " [she]_{316-imagination} said . "_{[463-sluggard]} [Sluggard]_463-sluggard ! this night [I]_0-i will have [my]_0-i will ; nor shalt [thou]_4014-thou prevail . " "_[4014-thou] Look forth and view the night ! " was [her]_{316-imagination} cry ; and when [I]_{261-mademoiselle} lifted the heavy blind from the casement close at hand - with [her]_{316-imagination} own royal gesture , [she]_{316-imagination} showed [me]_{261-mademoiselle} a moon supreme , in an element deep and splendid . To [my]_{261-mademoiselle} gasping senses [she]_{316-imagination} made the glimmering gloom , the narrow limits , the oppressive heat of [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} , intolerable . [She]_{316-imagination} lured [me]_{261-mademoiselle} to leave [this den]_{7449-this den} and follow [her]_{316-imagination} forth into dew , coolness , and glory . [She]_{316-imagination} brought upon [me]_{261-mademoiselle} a strange vision of [Villette]_3-villette at midnight . Especially [she]_{316-imagination} showed [the park]_{987-the park} , [the summer - park]_{7451-the summer - park} , with [its]_{987-the park} long alleys all silent , lone and safe ; among these lay a huge stone basin - that basin [I]_{261-mademoiselle} knew , and beside which [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had often stood - deep - set in the tree - shadows , brimming with cool water , clear , with a green , leafy , rushy bed . What of all this ? [The park]_{987-the park} - gates were shut up , locked , sentinelled : [the place]_{5129-the place} could not be entered . Could it not ? A point worth considering ; and while revolving [it]_{5129-the place} , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} mechanically dressed . Utterly incapable of sleeping or lying still - excited from head to foot - what could [I]_{261-mademoiselle} do better than dress ? The gates were locked , [soldiers]_{4680-soldiers} set before [them]_{4680-soldiers} : was there , then , no admission to [the park]_{987-the park} ? The other day , in walking past , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had seen , without then attending to the circumstance , a gap in the paling - one stake broken down : [I]_{261-mademoiselle} now saw this gap again in recollection - saw it very plainly - the narrow , irregular aperture visible between the stems of the lindens , planted orderly as a colonnade . [A man]_{823-a man} could not have made [his]_{823-a man} way through that aperture , nor could [a stout woman]_{7457-a stout woman} , perhaps not [Madame Beck]_190-madame ; but [I]_{261-mademoiselle} thought [I]_{261-mademoiselle} might : [I]_{261-mademoiselle} fancied [I]_{261-mademoiselle} should like to try , and once within , at this hour [the whole park]_{7458-the whole park} would be [mine]_{261-mademoiselle} - the moonlight , [midnight park]_{7459-midnight park} ! How soundly [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} slept ! What deep slumbers ! What quiet breathing ! How very still [the whole large house]_{7461-the whole large house} ! What was the time ? [I]_{261-mademoiselle} felt restless to know . There stood a clock in [the classe below]_{7462-the classe below} : what hindered [me]_{261-mademoiselle} from venturing down to consult [it]_7463-it ? By such a moon , [its]_7463-it large white face and jet black figures must be vividly distinct . As for hindrance to this step , there offered not so much as a creaking hinge or a clicking latch . On these hot July nights , close air could not be tolerated , and the chamber - door stood wide open . Will [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} - planks sustain [my]_{261-mademoiselle} tread untraitorous ? Yes . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} know wherever a board is loose , and will avoid it . [The oak staircase]_{7465-the oak staircase} creaks somewhat as [I]_{261-mademoiselle} descend , but not much : - [I]_{261-mademoiselle} am in the carre . The great classe - doors are close shut : they are bolted . On the other hand , the entrance to [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} stands open . [The classes]_{4828-the classes} seem to [my]_{261-mademoiselle} thought , [great dreary jails , buried far back beyond thoroughfares]_{7468-great dreary jails , buried far back beyond thoroughfares} , and for [me]_{261-mademoiselle} , filled with spectral and intolerable Memories , laid miserable amongst [their]_{4828-the classes} straw and [their]_{4828-the classes} manacles . [The corridor]_{1349-the corridor} offers a cheerful vista , leading to [the high vestibule which opens direct upon [the street]_{623-the street}]_{7470-the high vestibule which opens direct upon the street} . Hush ! - the clock strikes . Ghostly deep as is the stillness of [this convent]_{7472-this convent} , it is only eleven . While [my]_{261-mademoiselle} ear follows to silence the hum of the last stroke , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} catch faintly from the built - out capital , a sound like bells or like a band - a sound where sweetness , where victory , where mourning blend . Oh , to approach this music nearer , to listen to it alone by [the rushy basin]_{7473-the rushy basin} ! Let [me]_{261-mademoiselle} go - oh , let [me]_{261-mademoiselle} go ! What hinders , what does not aid freedom ? There , in [the corridor]_{1349-the corridor} , hangs [my]_{261-mademoiselle} garden - costume , [my]_{261-mademoiselle} large hat , [my]_{261-mademoiselle} shawl . There is no lock on [the huge , heavy , porte - cochere]_{7475-the huge , heavy , porte - cochere} ; there is no key to seek : it fastens with a sort of spring - bolt , not to be opened from the outside , but which , from within , may be noiselessly withdrawn . Can [I]_{261-mademoiselle} manage it ? It yields to [my]_{261-mademoiselle} hand , yields with [propitious facility]_{7476-propitious facility} . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} wonder as that portal seems almost spontaneously to unclose - [I]_{261-mademoiselle} wonder as [I]_{261-mademoiselle} cross the threshold and step on [the paved street]_{7477-the paved street} , wonder at the strange ease with which [this prison]_{7478-this prison} has been forced . It seems as if [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had been pioneered invisibly , as if some dissolving force had gone before [me]_{261-mademoiselle} : for [myself]_{261-mademoiselle} , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} have scarce made an effort . Quiet [Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} ! [I]_{261-mademoiselle} find on [this pavement]_{7479-this pavement} that wanderer - wooing summer night of which [I]_{261-mademoiselle} mused ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} see its moon over [me]_{261-mademoiselle} ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} feel its dew in the air . But [here]_4212-here [I]_{261-mademoiselle} can not stay ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} am still too near [old haunts]_{7481-old haunts} : so close under [the dungeon]_{7482-the dungeon} , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} can hear [the prisoners]_{7483-the prisoners} moan . This solemn peace is not what [I]_{261-mademoiselle} seek , it is not what [I]_{261-mademoiselle} can bear : to [me]_{261-mademoiselle} the face of that sky bears the aspect of a world 's death . [The park]_{987-the park} also will be calm - [I]_{261-mademoiselle} know , a mortal serenity prevails everywhere - yet let [me]_{261-mademoiselle} seek [the park]_{987-the park} . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} took [a route well known]_{7486-a route well known} , and went up towards [the palatial and royal Haute - Ville]_{7487-the palatial and royal haute - ville} ; thence the music [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had heard certainly floated ; it was hushed now , but it might re - waken . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} went on : [neither band]_{7488-neither band} nor bell music came to meet [me]_{261-mademoiselle} ; another sound replaced it , a sound like a strong tide , a great flow , deepening as [I]_{261-mademoiselle} proceeded . Light broke , movement gathered , chimes pealed - to what was [I]_{261-mademoiselle} coming ? Entering on the level of [a Grande Place]_{7489-a grande place} , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} found [myself]_{261-mademoiselle} , with the suddenness of magic , plunged amidst [a gay , living , joyous crowd]_{7490-a gay , living , joyous crowd} . [Villette]_3-villette is one blaze , one broad illumination ; [the whole world]_{4684-the whole world} seems abroad ; moonlight and heaven are banished : [the town]_{1306-the town} , by [her]_{1306-the town} own flambeaux , beholds [her]_{1306-the town} own splendour - gay dresses , grand equipages , fine horses and [gallant riders]_{7493-gallant riders} throng [the bright streets]_{7494-the bright streets} . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} see even scores of masks . It is a strange scene , stranger than dreams . But where is [the park]_{987-the park} ? - [I]_{261-mademoiselle} ought to be near [it]_{987-the park} . In the midst of this glare [the park]_{987-the park} must be shadowy and calm - there , at least , are neither torches , lamps , nor [crowd]_7497-crowd ? [I]_{261-mademoiselle} was asking this question when [an open carriage]_{7498-an open carriage} passed [me]_{261-mademoiselle} filled with known faces . Through the deep throng it could pass but slowly ; the spirited horses fretted in their curbed ardour . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} saw [the occupants of [that carriage]_{7500-that carriage}]_{7499-the occupants of that carriage} well : [me]_{261-mademoiselle} [they]_{7499-the occupants of that carriage} could not see , or , at least , not know , folded close in [my]_{261-mademoiselle} large shawl , screened with [my]_{261-mademoiselle} straw hat in that motley crowd no dress was noticeably strange . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} saw [the Count de Bassompierre]_{353-the count de bassompierre} ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} saw [[my]_{261-mademoiselle} godmother]_{506-my godmother} , handsomely apparelled , comely and cheerful ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} saw , too , [Paulina Mary]_141-paulina , compassed with the triple halo of [her]_141-paulina beauty , [her]_141-paulina youth , and [her]_141-paulina happiness . In looking on [her]_141-paulina countenance of joy , and eyes of festal light , one scarce remembered to note the gala elegance of what [she]_141-paulina wore ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} know only that the drapery floating about [her]_141-paulina was all white and light and bridal ; seated opposite to [her]_141-paulina [I]_{261-mademoiselle} saw [Graham Bretton]_135-graham ; it was in looking up at [him]_135-graham [her]_141-paulina aspect had caught its lustre - the light repeated in [her]_141-paulina eyes beamed first out of [his]_135-graham . It gave [me]_{261-mademoiselle} strange pleasure to follow [these friends]_{4336-these friends} viewlessly , and [I]_{261-mademoiselle} did follow [them]_{4336-these friends} , as [I]_{261-mademoiselle} thought , to [the park]_{987-the park} . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} watched [them]_{4336-these friends} alight [carriages]_{5011-carriages} were inadmissible amidst new and unanticipated splendours . Lo ! the iron gateway , between the stone columns , was spanned by a flaming arch built of massed stars ; and , following them cautiously beneath that arch , where were [they]_{4336-these friends} , and where was [I]_{261-mademoiselle} ? In [a land of enchantment]_{7505-a land of enchantment} , [a garden most gorgeous]_{7506-a garden most gorgeous} , a plain sprinkled with coloured meteors , a forest with sparks of purple and ruby and golden fire gemming the foliage ; a region , not of trees and shadow , but of strangest architectural wealth - of altar and of [temple]_7507-temple , of pyramid , obelisk , and sphinx : incredible to say , the wonders and the symbols of [Egypt]_115-egypt teemed throughout [the park of Villette]_{7508-the park of villette} . No matter that in five minutes the secret was mine - the key of the mystery picked up , and its illusion unveiled - no matter that [I]_{261-mademoiselle} quickly recognised the material of these solemn fragments - the timber , the paint , and the pasteboard - these inevitable discoveries failed to quite destroy the charm , or undermine the marvel of that night . No matter that [I]_{261-mademoiselle} now seized the explanation of the whole great fete - a fete of which [the conventual Rue Fossette]_{7509-the conventual rue fossette} had not tasted , though [it]_{7509-the conventual rue fossette} had opened at dawn that morning , and was still in full vigour near midnight . In past days there had been , said history , an awful crisis in the fate of [Labassecour]_{48-labassecour} , involving [I]_{261-mademoiselle} know not what peril to the rights and liberties of [[her]_{48-labassecour} gallant citizens]_{7510-her gallant citizens} . Rumours of wars there had been , if not wars themselves ; a kind of struggling in [the streets]_{983-the streets} - a bustle - a running to and fro , some rearing of barricades , [some burgher]_{7512-some burgher} - rioting , some calling out of [troops]_7513-troops , much interchange of brickbats , and even a little of shot . Tradition held that [patriots]_{7514-patriots} had fallen : in [the old Basse - Ville]_{74-the basse - ville} was shown an enclosure , solemnly built in and set apart , holding , it was said , the sacred bones of [martyrs]_5992-martyrs . Be this as it may , a certain day in the year was still kept as a festival in honour of [the said patriots]_{7516-the said patriots} and [martyrs of somewhat apocryphal memory]_{7517-martyrs of somewhat apocryphal memory} - the morning being given to [a solemn Te Deum in [St.]_117-st. [Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste}]_{7518-a solemn te deum in st. jean baptiste} , the evening devoted to spectacles , decorations , and illuminations , such as these [I]_{261-mademoiselle} now saw . While looking up at the image of a white ibis , fixed on a column - while fathoming the deep , torch - lit perspective of [an avenue]_{5586-an avenue} , at the close of which was couched a sphinx - [I]_{261-mademoiselle} lost sight of the party which , from the middle of [the great square]_{7520-the great square} , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had followed - or , rather , [they]_{7514-patriots} vanished like a group of apparitions . On this whole scene was impressed a dream - like character : every shape was wavering , every movement floating , every voice echo - like - half - mocking , half- uncertain . [Paulina]_141-paulina and [[her]_141-paulina friends]_{4664-her friends} being gone , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} scarce could avouch that [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had really seen [them]_{7514-patriots} ; nor did [I]_{261-mademoiselle} miss [them]_{7514-patriots} as guides through the chaos , far less regret [them]_{7514-patriots} as [protectors amidst the night]_{7522-protectors amidst the night} . That festal night would have been safe for [a very child]_{7523-a very child} . Half [the peasantry]_{7524-the peasantry} had come in from [the outlying environs of [Villette]_3-villette]_{7525-the outlying environs of villette} , and [the decent burghers]_{7526-the decent burghers} were all abroad and around , dressed in [their]_{7526-the decent burghers} best . [My]_{261-mademoiselle} straw - hat passed amidst cap and jacket , short petticoat , and long calico mantle , without , perhaps , attracting a glance ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} only took the precaution to bind down the broad leaf gipsy - wise , with a supplementary ribbon - and then [I]_{261-mademoiselle} felt safe as if masked . Safe [I]_{261-mademoiselle} passed down [the avenues]_{7527-the avenues} - safe [I]_{261-mademoiselle} mixed with [the crowd where it was deepest]_{7528-the crowd where it was deepest} . To be still was not in [my]_{261-mademoiselle} power , nor quietly to observe . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} took a revel of the scene ; [I]_{261-mademoiselle} drank the elastic night - air - the swell of sound , the dubious light , now flashing , now fading . As to Happiness or Hope , [they]_{7514-patriots} and [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had shaken hands , but just now - [I]_{261-mademoiselle} scorned Despair . [My]_{261-mademoiselle} vague aim , as [I]_{261-mademoiselle} went , was to find the stone - basin , with [its]_7529-its clear depth and green lining : of that coolness and verdure [I]_{261-mademoiselle} thought , with the passionate thirst of unconscious fever . Amidst the glare , and hurry , and throng , and noise , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} still secretly and chiefly longed to come on that circular mirror of crystal , and surprise the moon glassing therein [her]_7530-her pearly front . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} knew [my]_{261-mademoiselle} route , yet it seemed as if [I]_{261-mademoiselle} was hindered from pursuing it direct : now a sight , and now a sound , called [me]_{261-mademoiselle} aside , luring [me]_{261-mademoiselle} down [this alley]_{4999-this alley} and down that . Already [I]_{261-mademoiselle} saw the thick - planted trees which framed this tremulous and rippled glass , when , choiring out of a glade to the right , broke such a sound as [I]_{261-mademoiselle} thought might be heard if [Heaven]_188-heaven were to open - such a sound , perhaps , as was heard above [the plain of]_{7532-the plain of} [Bethlehem]_{118-bethlehem} , on the night of glad tidings . The song , the sweet music , rose afar , but rushing swiftly on fast- strengthening pinions - there swept through these shades so full a storm of harmonies that , had no tree been near against which to lean , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} think [I]_{261-mademoiselle} must have dropped . Voices were there , it seemed to [me]_{261-mademoiselle} , unnumbered ; instruments varied and countless - bugle , horn , and trumpet [I]_{261-mademoiselle} knew . The effect was as a sea breaking into song with all its waves . The swaying tide swept this way , and then it fell back , and [I]_{261-mademoiselle} followed its retreat . It led [me]_{261-mademoiselle} towards [a Byzantine building]_{7533-a byzantine building} - [a sort of kiosk near [[the park]_{987-the park} 's centre]_{7536-the park 's centre}]_{7534-a sort of kiosk near the park 's centre} . Round about stood [crowded thousands]_{7537-crowded thousands} , gathered to a grand concert in the open air . What [I]_{261-mademoiselle} had heard was , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} think , a wild Jaeger chorus ; the night , the space , the scene , and [my]_{261-mademoiselle} own mood , had but enhanced the sounds and [their]_{7537-crowded thousands} impression . Here were [assembled ladies]_{7538-assembled ladies} , looking by this light most beautiful : some of [their]_{7538-assembled ladies} dresses were gauzy , and some had the sheen of satin , the flowers and the blond trembled , and the veils waved about [their]_{7538-assembled ladies} decorated bonnets , as that host - like chorus , with its greatly- gathering sound , sundered the air above [them]_{7538-assembled ladies} . [Most of [these ladies]_{6983-these ladies}]_{7539-most of these ladies} occupied the little light park - chairs , and behind and beside [them]_{7539-most of these ladies} stood [guardian gentlemen]_{7541-guardian gentlemen} . The outer ranks of [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} were made up of [citizens]_{7543-citizens} , [plebeians]_{7544-plebeians} and [police]_7545-police . In this outer rank [I]_{261-mademoiselle} took [my]_{261-mademoiselle} place . [I]_{261-mademoiselle} rather liked to find [myself]_{261-mademoiselle} [the silent , unknown , consequently unaccosted neighbour of the short petticoat and the sabot]_{7546-the silent , unknown , consequently unaccosted neighbour of the short petticoat and the sabot} ; and only [the distant gazer at the silk robe]_{7547-the distant gazer at the silk robe} , the velvet mantle , and the plumed chapeau . Amidst so much life and joy , too , it suited [me]_{261-mademoiselle} to be alone - quite alone . Having neither wish nor power to force [my]_{261-mademoiselle} way through a mass so close - packed , [[my]_{261-mademoiselle} station]_{7548-my station} was on the farthest confines , where , indeed , [I]_{261-mademoiselle} might hear , but could see little . "_{[261-mademoiselle]} [Mademoiselle]_{261-mademoiselle} is not well placed , " said a voice at [my]_0-i elbow . Who dared accost [me]_0-i , [a being in a mood so little social]_{7549-a being in a mood so little social} ? [I]_0-i turned , rather to repel than to reply . [I]_0-i saw [a man]_{823-a man} - [a burgher]_{7551-a burgher} - [an entire stranger]_{7552-an entire stranger} , as [I]_0-i deemed [him]_{823-a man} for one moment , but the next , recognised in [him]_{823-a man} [a certain tradesman]_{7553-a certain tradesman} - a bookseller , whose shop furnished [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} with [its]_{44-the rue fossette} books and stationery ; [a man notorious in [our]_7555-our pensionnat]_{7554-a man notorious in our pensionnat} for the excessive brittleness of [his]_{823-a man} temper , and frequent snappishness of [his]_{823-a man} manner , even to [us]_7555-our , [[his]_{823-a man} principal customers]_{7556-his principal customers} : but whom , for [my]_0-i solitary self , [I]_0-i had ever been disposed to like , and had always found civil , sometimes kind ; once , in aiding [me]_0-i about some troublesome little exchange of foreign money , [he]_{823-a man} had done [me]_0-i a service . [He]_{823-a man} was [an intelligent man]_{7557-an intelligent man} ; under [his]_{823-a man} asperity , [he]_{823-a man} was [a good - hearted man]_{7558-a good - hearted man} ; the thought had sometimes crossed [me]_0-i , that a part of [his]_{823-a man} nature bore affinity to a part of M. Emanuel 's whom [he]_{823-a man} knew well , and whom [I]_0-i had often seen sitting on [Miret]_{464-m. miret} 's counter , turning over the current month 's publications ; and it was in this affinity [I]_0-i read the explanation of that conciliatory feeling with which [I]_0-i instinctively regarded [him]_{823-a man} . Strange to say , [this man]_{4628-this man} knew [me]_0-i under [my]_0-i straw - hat and closely - folded shawl ; and , though [I]_0-i deprecated the effort , [he]_{4628-this man} insisted on making a way for [me]_0-i through [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} , and finding [me]_0-i a better situation . [He]_{4628-this man} carried [his]_{4628-this man} disinterested civility further ; and , from some quarter , procured [me]_0-i a chair . Once and again , [I]_0-i have found that the most cross- grained are by no means the worst of [mankind]_7173-mankind ; nor the humblest in [station]_7562-station , the least polished in feeling . [This man]_{4628-this man} , in [his]_{4628-this man} courtesy , seemed to find nothing strange in [my]_0-i being [here]_4212-here alone ; only a reason for extending to [me]_0-i , as far as [he]_{4628-this man} could , a retiring , yet efficient attention . Having secured [me]_0-i a place and a seat , [he]_{4628-this man} withdrew without asking a question , without obtruding a remark , without adding a superfluous word . No wonder that [Professor Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} liked to take [his]_{303-professor emanuel} cigar and [his]_{303-professor emanuel} lounge , and to read [his]_{303-professor emanuel} feuilleton in [[M. Miret]_{464-m. miret} 's shop]_{7565-m. miret 's shop} - the two must have suited . [I]_0-i had not been seated five minutes , ere [I]_0-i became aware that chance and [[my]_0-i worthy burgher friend]_{7566-my worthy burgher friend} had brought [me]_0-i once more within view of [a familiar and domestic group]_{7567-a familiar and domestic group} . Right before [me]_0-i sat [the Brettons]_{465-the brettons} and [de Bassompierres]_{466-de bassompierres} . Within reach of [my]_0-i hand - had [I]_0-i chosen to extend it - sat a figure like [a fairy - queen]_{7568-a fairy - queen} , whose array , lilies and [their]_{7568-a fairy - queen} leaves seemed to have suggested ; whatever was not spotless white , being forest - green . [[My]_0-i godmother]_{506-my godmother} , too , sat so near , that , had [I]_0-i leaned forward , [my]_0-i breath might have stirred the ribbon of [her]_{506-my godmother} bonnet . [They]_7570-they were too near ; having been just recognised by [a comparative stranger]_{7571-a comparative stranger} , [I]_0-i felt uneasy at this close vicinage of intimate acquaintance . It made [me]_0-i quite start when [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} , turning to [Mr. Home]_{134-mr. home} , and speaking out of a kind impulse of memory , said , - "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wonder what [[my]_0-i steady little [Lucy]_142-lucy]_{4015-my steady little lucy} would say to all this if [she]_142-lucy were [here]_4212-here ? [I]_0-i wish [we]_4017-we had brought [her]_142-lucy , [she]_142-lucy would have enjoyed it much . " "_[142-lucy] So [she]_142-lucy would , so [she]_142-lucy would , in [her]_142-lucy grave sensible fashion ; it is a pity but [we]_4017-we had asked [her]_142-lucy , " rejoined [the kind gentleman]_{7572-the kind gentleman} ; and added , "_[4017-we] [I]_0-i like to see [her]_142-lucy so quietly pleased ; so little moved , yet so content . " [Dear]_6242-dear were [they]_7574-they both to [me]_0-i , [dear]_6242-dear are [they]_7574-they to this day in [their]_7574-they remembered benevolence . [Little]_{239-georgette} knew [they]_7574-they the rack of pain which had driven [Lucy]_142-lucy almost into fever , and brought [her]_142-lucy out , guideless and reckless , urged and drugged to the brink of frenzy . [I]_0-i had half a mind to bend over [the elders]_{7576-the elders} ' shoulders , and answer [their]_7574-they goodness with the thanks of [my]_0-i eyes . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} did not well know [me]_0-i , but [I]_0-i knew [him]_{7572-the kind gentleman} , and honoured and admired [his]_{7572-the kind gentleman} nature , with all its plain sincerity , its warm affection , and unconscious enthusiasm . Possibly [I]_0-i might have spoken , but just then [Graham]_135-graham turned ; [he]_135-graham turned with one of [his]_135-graham stately firm movements , so different from those , of [a sharp - tempered under - sized man]_{7577-a sharp - tempered under - sized man} : there was behind [him]_135-graham [a throng , a hundred ranks deep]_{7578-a throng , a hundred ranks deep} ; there were [thousands]_{1876-thousands} to meet [his]_135-graham eye and divide its scrutiny - why then did [he]_135-graham concentrate all on [me]_0-i - oppressing [me]_0-i with the whole force of that full , blue , steadfast orb ? Why , if [he]_135-graham would look , did not one glance satisfy [him]_135-graham ? why did [he]_135-graham turn on [his]_135-graham chair , rest [his]_135-graham elbow on its back , and study [me]_0-i leisurely ? [He]_135-graham could not see [my]_0-i face , [I]_0-i held it down ; surely , [he]_135-graham could not recognise [me]_0-i : [I]_0-i stooped , [I]_0-i turned , [I]_0-i would not be known . [He]_135-graham rose , by some means [he]_135-graham contrived to approach , in two minutes [he]_135-graham would have had [my]_0-i secret : [my]_0-i identity would have been grasped between [his]_135-graham , never tyrannous , but always powerful hands . There was but one way to evade or to check [him]_135-graham . [I]_0-i implied , by a sort of supplicatory gesture , that it was [my]_0-i prayer to be let alone ; after that , had [he]_135-graham persisted , [he]_135-graham would perhaps have seen the spectacle of [Lucy]_142-lucy incensed : not all that was grand , or good , or kind in [him]_135-graham and [Lucy]_142-lucy felt the full amount should have kept [her]_142-lucy quite tame , or absolutely inoffensive and shadowlike . [He]_135-graham looked , but [he]_135-graham desisted . [He]_135-graham shook [his]_135-graham handsome head , but [he]_135-graham was mute . [He]_135-graham resumed [his]_135-graham seat , nor did [he]_135-graham again turn or disturb [me]_0-i by a glance , except indeed for one single instant , when a look , rather solicitous than curious , stole [my]_0-i way - speaking what somehow stilled [my]_0-i heart like "_[0-i] the south - wind quieting [the earth]_{4018-the earth} . " [Graham]_135-graham 's thoughts of [me]_0-i were not entirely those of a frozen indifference , after all . [I]_0-i believe in [that goodly mansion]_{7580-that goodly mansion} , [his]_135-graham heart , [he]_135-graham kept one little place under the sky - lights where [Lucy]_142-lucy might have entertainment , if [she]_142-lucy chose to call . It was not so handsome as [the chambers where [he]_135-graham lodged [[his]_135-graham male friends]_{7582-his male friends}]_{7581-the chambers where he lodged his male friends} ; it was not like [the hall where [he]_135-graham accommodated [his]_135-graham philanthropy]_{7583-the hall where he accommodated his philanthropy} , or [the library where [he]_135-graham treasured [his]_135-graham science]_{7584-the library where he treasured his science} , still less did it resemble [the pavilion where [his]_135-graham marriage feast was splendidly spread]_{7585-the pavilion where his marriage feast was splendidly spread} ; yet , gradually , by long and equal kindness , [he]_135-graham proved to [me]_0-i that [he]_135-graham kept [one little closet , over the door of which was written "_[0-i] [Lucy]_142-lucy 's Room]_{7586-one little closet , over the door of which was written " lucy 's room} . " [I]_0-i kept a place for [him]_135-graham , too - a place of which [I]_0-i never took the measure , either by rule or compass : [I]_0-i think it was like [the tent of Peri - Banou]_{7587-the tent of peri - banou} . All [my]_0-i life long [I]_0-i carried it folded in the hollow of [my]_0-i hand yet , released from that hold and constriction , [I]_0-i know not but its innate capacity for expanse might have magnified it into a tabernacle for [a host]_{7588-a host} . Forbearing as [he]_135-graham was to - night , [I]_0-i could not stay in this proximity ; [this dangerous place]_{7589-this dangerous place} and seat must be given up : [I]_0-i watched [my]_0-i opportunity , rose , and stole away . [He]_135-graham might think , [he]_135-graham might even believe that [Lucy]_142-lucy was contained within that shawl , and sheltered under that hat ; [he]_135-graham never could be certain , for [he]_135-graham did not see [my]_0-i face . Surely the spirit of restlessness was by this time appeased ? Had [I]_0-i not had enough of adventure ? Did [I]_0-i not begin to flag , quail , and wish for safety under a roof ? Not so . [I]_0-i still loathed [my]_0-i bed in [[the school]_{4856-the school} dormitory]_{7591-the school dormitory} more than words can express : [I]_0-i clung to whatever could distract thought . Somehow [I]_0-i felt , too , that the night 's drama was but begun , that the prologue was scarce spoken : throughout [this woody and turfy theatre]_{7592-this woody and turfy theatre} reigned a shadow of mystery ; [actors]_5237-actors and [incidents]_{7594-incidents} unlooked - for , waited behind the scenes : [I]_0-i thought so foreboding told [me]_0-i as much . Straying at random , obeying the push of every chance elbow , [I]_0-i was brought to a quarter where trees planted in clusters , or towering singly , broke up somewhat the dense packing of [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} , and gave it a more scattered character . [These confines]_{7596-these confines} were far from the music , and somewhat aloof even from the lamps , but there was sound enough to soothe , and with that full , high moon , lamps were scarce needed . [Here]_4212-here had chiefly settled [family]_3674-family - groups , [burgher - parents]_{7599-burgher - parents} ; some of [them]_3674-family , late as was the hour , actually surrounded by [[their]_{7599-burgher - parents} children]_{7600-their children} , with [whom it had not been thought advisable to venture into the closer throng]_{7601-whom it had not been thought advisable to venture into the closer throng} . Three fine tall trees growing close , almost twined stem within stem , lifted a thick canopy of shade above [a green knoll]_{7602-a green knoll} , crowned with a seat - a seat which might have held several , yet it seemed abandoned to one , [the remaining members of the fortunate party in possession of [this site]_{1402-this site}]_{7603-the remaining members of the fortunate party in possession of this site} standing dutifully round ; yet , amongst [this reverend circle]_{7605-this reverend circle} was [a lady]_{1639-a lady} , holding by the hand [a little girl]_{545-a little girl} . When [I]_0-i caught sight of [this little girl]_{549-this little girl} , [she]_{549-this little girl} was twisting [herself]_{549-this little girl} round on [her]_{549-this little girl} heel , swinging from [her]_{549-this little girl} conductress 's hand , flinging [herself]_{549-this little girl} from side to side with wanton and fantastic gyrations . These perverse movements arrested [my]_0-i attention , [they]_7609-they struck [me]_0-i as of a character fearfully familiar . On close inspection , no less so appeared [the child]_{4206-the child} 's equipment ; the lilac silk pelisse , the small swansdown boa , the white bonnet - the whole holiday toilette , in short , was the gala garb of a cherub but too well known , of that tadpole , [Desiree Beck]_208-desiree - and [Desiree Beck]_208-desiree it was - [she]_208-desiree , or an imp in [her]_208-desiree likeness . [I]_0-i might have taken this discovery as a thunder - clap , but such hyperbole would have been premature ; discovery was destined to rise more than one degree , ere it reached its climax . On whose hand could [the amiable Desiree]_208-desiree swing thus selfishly , whose glove could [she]_208-desiree tear thus recklessly , whose arm thus strain with impunity , or on the borders of whose dress thus turn and trample insolently , if not the hand , glove , arm , and robe of [[her]_208-desiree lady - mother]_{7611-her lady - mother} ? And there , in an Indian shawl and a pale - green crape bonnet - there , fresh , portly , blithe , and pleasant - there stood [Madame Beck]_190-madame . Curious ! [I]_0-i had certainly deemed [Madame]_190-madame in [her]_190-madame bed , and [Desiree]_208-desiree in [[her]_208-desiree crib]_{1373-her crib} , at this blessed minute , sleeping , both of [them]_7613-them , the sleep of the just , within the sacred walls , amidst the profound seclusion of the Rue Fossette . Most certainly also [they]_7613-them did not picture "_[0-i] [Meess Lucie]_{187-meess lucie} " otherwise engaged ; and here [we]_7614-we all three were taking [our]_7614-we "_{[187-meess lucie]} ebats " in the fete - blazing park at midnight ! The fact was , [Madame]_190-madame was only acting according to [her]_190-madame quite justifiable wo nt . [I]_0-i remembered now [I]_0-i had heard it said among [the teachers]_{4800-the teachers} - though without at the time particularly noticing the gossip - that often , when [we]_7614-we thought [Madame]_190-madame in [[her]_190-madame chamber]_{1070-her chamber} , sleeping , [she]_190-madame was gone , full - dressed , to take [her]_190-madame pleasure at operas , or plays , or balls . [Madame]_190-madame had no sort of taste for a monastic life , and took care - largely , though discreetly - to season [her]_190-madame existence with a relish of [the world]_{811-the world} . [Half a dozen gentlemen of [[her]_190-madame friends]_{4664-her friends}]_{7618-half a dozen gentlemen of her friends} stood about [her]_190-madame . Amongst these , [I]_0-i was not slow to recognise two or three . There was [[her]_190-madame brother]_{6126-her brother} , [M. Victor Kint]_{324-m. victor kint} ; there was [another person , moustached and with long hair]_{7621-another person , moustached and with long hair} - [a calm , taciturn man]_{7622-a calm , taciturn man} , but whose traits bore a stamp and a semblance [I]_0-i could not mark unmoved . [Amidst reserve and phlegm , amidst contrasts of character and of countenance]_{7623-amidst reserve and phlegm , amidst contrasts of character and of countenance} , something there still was which recalled a face - mobile , fervent , feeling - a face changeable , now clouded , and now alight - a face from [my]_0-i world taken away , for [my]_0-i eyes lost , but where [my]_0-i best spring - hours of life had alternated in shadow and in glow ; that face , where [I]_0-i had often seen movements so near the signs of genius - that why there did not shine fully out the undoubted fire , the thing , the spirit , and the secret itself - [I]_0-i could never tell . Yes - [this Josef Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} - [this man of peace]_{7624-this man of peace} - reminded [me]_0-i of [[his]_{306-m. emanuel} ardent brother]_{7625-his ardent brother} . Besides [Messieurs Victor]_{467-messieurs victor} and [Josef]_{306-m. emanuel} , [I]_0-i knew [another of [this party]_{7627-this party}]_{7626-another of this party} . [This third person]_{7628-this third person} stood behind and in the shade , [his]_{7628-this third person} attitude too was stooping , yet [his]_{7628-this third person} dress and bald white head made [him]_{7628-this third person} [the most conspicuous figure of [the group]_{7630-the group}]_{7629-the most conspicuous figure of the group} . [He]_{7628-this third person} was [an ecclesiastic]_{7631-an ecclesiastic} : [he]_{7628-this third person} was [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} . Do not fancy , [reader]_4604-reader , that there was any inconsistency in [the priest]_{4890-the priest} 's presence at this fete . This was not considered a show of Vanity Fair , but a commemoration of patriotic sacrifice . [The Church]_{108-the church} patronised [it]_{7627-this party} , even with ostentation . There were [troops of [priests]_7156-priests in [the park]_{987-the park}]_{7634-troops of priests in the park} that night . [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} stooped over the seat with its single occupant , the rustic bench and that which sat upon it : a strange mass it was - bearing no shape , yet magnificent . [You]_7637-you saw , indeed , the outline of a face , and features , but these were so cadaverous and so strangely placed , [you]_7637-you could almost have fancied a head severed from its trunk , and flung at random on a pile of rich merchandise . The distant lamp - rays glanced on clear pendants , on broad rings ; neither the chasteness of moonlight , nor the distance of the torches , could quite subdue the gorgeous dyes of the drapery . Hail , [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} ! [I]_0-i think [you]_7637-you looked more witch- like than ever . And presently [the good lady]_{7638-the good lady} proved that [she]_{7638-the good lady} was indeed no corpse or ghost , but [a harsh and hardy old woman]_{7639-a harsh and hardy old woman} ; for , upon some aggravation in the clamorous petition of [Desiree Beck]_208-desiree to [[her]_208-desiree mother]_{550-her mother} , to go to the kiosk and take sweetmeats , [the hunchback]_{7641-the hunchback} suddenly fetched [her]_208-desiree a resounding rap with [her]_208-desiree gold - knobbed cane . There , then , were [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} , [Madame Beck]_190-madame , [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} - the whole conjuration , the secret junta . The sight of [them]_7642-them thus assembled did [me]_0-i good . [I]_0-i can not say that [I]_0-i felt weak before [them]_7642-them , or abashed , or dismayed . [They]_7642-them outnumbered [me]_0-i , and [I]_0-i was worsted and under [their]_7642-them feet ; but , as yet , [I]_0-i was not dead . CHAPTER XXXIX . [OLD AND NEW ACQUAINTANCE]_{468-old and new acquaintance} . Fascinated as by a basilisk with three heads , [I]_0-i could not leave [this clique]_{7643-this clique} ; the ground near [them]_7642-them seemed to hold [my]_0-i feet . The canopy of entwined trees held out shadow , the night whispered a pledge of protection , and an officious lamp flashed just one beam to show [me]_0-i an obscure , safe seat , and then vanished . Let [me]_0-i now briefly tell [the reader]_{759-the reader} all that , during the past dark fortnight , [I]_0-i have been silently gathering from Rumour , respecting the origin and the object of [M. Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} 's departure . The tale is short , and not new : its alpha is [Mammon]_469-mammon , and its omega Interest . If [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} was hideous as [a Hindoo idol]_{7645-a hindoo idol} , [she]_{424-madame walravens} seemed also to possess , in the estimation of these [her]_{424-madame walravens} votaries , an idol 's consequence . The fact was , [she]_{424-madame walravens} had been rich - very rich ; and though , for the present , without the command of money , [she]_{424-madame walravens} was likely one day to be rich again . At [Basseterre]_{457-basseterre} , in [Guadaloupe]_{113-guadaloupe} , [she]_{424-madame walravens} possessed [a large estate]_{7646-a large estate} , received in dowry on [her]_{424-madame walravens} marriage sixty years ago , sequestered since [[her]_{424-madame walravens} husband]_{509-her husband} 's failure ; but now , it was supposed , cleared of claim , and , if duly looked after by [a competent agent of integrity]_{7648-a competent agent of integrity} , considered capable of being made , in a few years , largely productive . [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} took an interest in this prospective improvement for the sake of religion and the church , whereof [Magliore Walravens]_{470-magliore walravens} was [a devout daughter]_{7649-a devout daughter} . [Madame Beck]_190-madame , distantly related to the hunchback and knowing [her]_190-madame to be [without [family]_3674-family of [her]_190-madame own]_{7650-without family of her own} , had long brooded over contingencies with [a mother]_{4301-a mother} 's calculating forethought , and , harshly treated as [she]_190-madame was by [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} , never ceased to court [her]_190-madame for interest 's sake . [Madame Beck]_190-madame and [the priest]_{4890-the priest} were thus , for money reasons , equally and sincerely interested in [the nursing of [the West Indian estate]_{7655-the west indian estate}]_{7654-the nursing of the west indian estate} . But the distance was great , and the climate hazardous . [The competent and upright agent]_{7656-the competent and upright agent} wanted , must be [a devoted man]_{7657-a devoted man} . [Just such a man]_{7658-just such a man} had [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} retained for twenty years in [her]_{424-madame walravens} service , blighting [his]_{4019-my pupil} life , and then living on [him]_{4019-my pupil} , like an old fungus ; [such a man]_{7659-such a man} had [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} trained , taught , and bound to [him]_{4019-my pupil} by the ties of gratitude , habit , and belief . [Such a man]_{7659-such a man} [Madame Beck]_190-madame knew , and could in some measure influence . "_[0-i] [[My]_0-i pupil]_{4019-my pupil} , " said [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} , "_[0-i] if [he]_{4019-my pupil} remains in [Europe]_17-europe , runs risk of apostacy , for [he]_{4019-my pupil} has become entangled with [a heretic]_{3842-a heretic} . " [Madame Beck]_190-madame made also [her]_190-madame private comment , and preferred in [her]_190-madame own breast [her]_190-madame secret reason for desiring expatriation . The thing [she]_190-madame could not obtain , [she]_190-madame desired not another to win : rather would [she]_190-madame destroy it . As to [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} , [she]_190-madame wanted [her]_190-madame money and [[her]_190-madame land]_{7661-her land} , and knew [Paul]_{303-professor emanuel} , if [he]_{303-professor emanuel} liked , could make [the best and faithfullest steward]_{7662-the best and faithfullest steward} : so [the three self - seekers]_{7663-the three self - seekers} banded and beset [the one unselfish]_{7664-the one unselfish} . [They]_{7663-the three self - seekers} reasoned , [they]_{7663-the three self - seekers} appealed , [they]_{7663-the three self - seekers} implored ; on [his]_{7664-the one unselfish} mercy [they]_{7663-the three self - seekers} cast [themselves]_{7663-the three self - seekers} , into [his]_{7664-the one unselfish} hands [they]_{7663-the three self - seekers} confidingly thrust [their]_{7663-the three self - seekers} interests . [They]_{7663-the three self - seekers} asked but two or three years of devotion - after that , [he]_{7664-the one unselfish} should live for [himself]_{7664-the one unselfish} : one of the number , perhaps , wished that in the meantime [he]_{7664-the one unselfish} might die . [No living being]_{7665-no living being} ever humbly laid [his]_{7664-the one unselfish} advantage at [M. Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} 's feet , or confidingly put it into [his]_{7664-the one unselfish} hands , that [he]_{7664-the one unselfish} spurned the trust or repulsed the repository . What might be [his]_{7664-the one unselfish} private pain or inward reluctance to leave [Europe]_17-europe - what [his]_{7664-the one unselfish} calculations for [his]_{7664-the one unselfish} own future - none asked , or knew , or reported . All this was a blank to [me]_{3842-a heretic} . [His]_{7664-the one unselfish} conferences with [[his]_{7664-the one unselfish} confessor]_{7666-his confessor} [I]_{3842-a heretic} might guess ; the part duty and religion were made to play in the persuasions used , [I]_{3842-a heretic} might conjecture . [He]_{7664-the one unselfish} was gone , and had made no sign . There [my]_{3842-a heretic} knowledge closed . With [my]_{3842-a heretic} head bent , and [my]_{3842-a heretic} forehead resting on [my]_{3842-a heretic} hands , [I]_{3842-a heretic} sat amidst grouped tree - stems and branching brushwood . Whatever talk passed amongst [[my]_{3842-a heretic} neighbours]_{7667-my neighbours} , [I]_{3842-a heretic} might hear , if [I]_{3842-a heretic} would ; [I]_{3842-a heretic} was near enough ; but for some time , there was scarce motive to attend . [They]_{7667-my neighbours} gossiped about the dresses , the music , the illuminations , the fine night . [I]_{3842-a heretic} listened to hear [them]_{7667-my neighbours} say , "_{[3842-a heretic]} It is calm weather for [his]_4021-his voyage ; [the Antigua]_{120-the antigua} " [[his]_4021-his ship]_{7668-his ship} "_{[429-justine marie]} will sail prosperously . " No such remark fell ; neither [the Antigua]_{120-the antigua} , nor [her]_{7668-his ship} course , nor [[her]_{7668-his ship} passenger]_{7669-her passenger} were named . Perhaps the light chat scarcely interested [old Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} more than it did [me]_{429-justine marie} ; [she]_{424-madame walravens} appeared restless , turning [her]_{424-madame walravens} head now to this side , now that , looking through the trees , and among [the crowd , as if expectant of an arrival and impatient of delay]_{7670-the crowd , as if expectant of an arrival and impatient of delay} . "_{[429-justine marie]} Ou sont - ils ? Pourquoi ne viennent - ils ? " [I]_{429-justine marie} heard [her]_{424-madame walravens} mutter more than once ; and at last , as if determined to have an answer to [her]_{424-madame walravens} question - which hitherto none seemed to mind , [she]_{424-madame walravens} spoke aloud this phrase - a phrase brief enough , simple enough , but it sent a shock through [me]_{429-justine marie} - "_{[429-justine marie]} Messieurs et mesdames , " said [she]_{424-madame walravens} , "_{[429-justine marie]} ou donc est [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} ? " "_{[429-justine marie]} [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} ! " What was this ? [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} - [the dead nun]_{7671-the dead nun} - where was [she]_{429-justine marie} ? Why , in [her]_{429-justine marie} grave , [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} - what can [you]_{424-madame walravens} want with [her]_{429-justine marie} ? [You]_{424-madame walravens} shall go to [her]_{429-justine marie} , but [she]_{429-justine marie} shall not come to [you]_{424-madame walravens} . Thus [I]_{429-justine marie} should have answered , had the response lain with [me]_{429-justine marie} , but [nobody]_4256-nobody seemed to be of [my]_{429-justine marie} mind ; [nobody]_4256-nobody seemed surprised , startled , or at a loss . The quietest commonplace answer met the strange , the dead- disturbing , the Witch - of - Endor query of [the hunchback]_{7641-the hunchback} . "_{[429-justine marie]} [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} , " said [one]_607-one , "_{[429-justine marie]} is coming ; [she]_{429-justine marie} is in [the kiosk]_{4022-the kiosk} ; [she]_{429-justine marie} will be [here]_4212-here presently . " Out of this question and reply sprang a change in the chat - chat it still remained , easy , desultory , familiar gossip . Hint , allusion , comment , went round the circle , but all so broken , so dependent on references to [persons not named]_{7676-persons not named} , or circumstances not defined , that listen as intently as [I]_{429-justine marie} would - and [I]_{429-justine marie} did listen now with a fated interest - [I]_{429-justine marie} could make out no more than that some scheme was on foot , in which this ghostly [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} - dead or alive - was concerned . [This family]_{909-this family} - junta seemed grasping at [her]_{429-justine marie} somehow , for some reason ; there seemed question of a marriage , of a fortune - for whom [I]_{429-justine marie} could not quite make out - perhaps for [Victor Kint]_{324-m. victor kint} , perhaps for [Josef Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} - both were [bachelors]_{7678-bachelors} . Once [I]_{429-justine marie} thought the hints and jests rained upon [a young fair - haired foreigner of [the party]_{3470-the party} , whom [they]_{3470-the party} called [Heinrich Muehler]_{471-heinrich muehler}]_{7679-a young fair - haired foreigner of the party , whom they called heinrich muehler} . Amidst all the badinage , [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} still obtruded from time to time , hoarse , cross - grained speeches ; [her]_{424-madame walravens} impatience being diverted only by an implacable surveillance of [Desiree]_208-desiree , who could not stir but [the old woman]_{7681-the old woman} menaced [her]_{424-madame walravens} with [her]_{7681-the old woman} staff . "_{[429-justine marie]} La voila ! " suddenly cried [one of [the gentlemen]_{6131-the gentlemen}]_{7682-one of the gentlemen} , "_{[429-justine marie]} voila [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} qui arrive ! " This moment was for [me]_4024-she peculiar . [I]_4024-she called up to memory [the pictured nun on the panel]_{7684-the pictured nun on the panel} ; present to [my]_4024-she mind was the sad love - story ; [I]_4024-she saw in thought the vision of the garret , the apparition of [the alley]_{5354-the alley} , the strange birth of [the berceau]_{4908-the berceau} ; [I]_4024-she underwent a presentiment of discovery , a strong conviction of coming disclosure . Ah ! when imagination once runs riot where do [we]_7687-we stop ? What winter tree so bare and branchless - what way - side , hedge - munching animal so humble , that Fancy , a passing cloud , and a struggling moonbeam , will not clothe it in spirituality , and make of it a phantom ? With solemn force pressed on [my]_4024-she heart , the expectation of mystery breaking up : hitherto [I]_4024-she had seen [this spectre]_{7688-this spectre} only through a glass darkly ; now was [I]_4024-she to behold it face to face . [I]_4024-she leaned forward ; [I]_4024-she looked . "_[4024-she] [She]_4024-she comes ! " cried [Josef Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} . The circle opened as if opening to admit [a new and welcome member]_{7689-a new and welcome member} . At this instant a torch chanced to be carried past ; its blaze aided the pale moon in doing justice to the crisis , in lighting to perfection the denouement pressing on . Surely those near [me]_{429-justine marie} must have felt some little of the anxiety [I]_{429-justine marie} felt , in degree so unmeted . Of [that group]_{7690-that group} [the coolest]_{7691-the coolest} must have "_{[429-justine marie]} held [his]_4025-his breath for a time ! " As for [me]_{429-justine marie} , [my]_{429-justine marie} life stood still . It is over . The moment and [the nun]_{1581-the nun} are come . The crisis and the revelation are passed by . [The flambeau]_{7693-the flambeau} glares still within [a yard]_{7694-a yard} , held up in [a park - keeper]_{7695-a park - keeper} 's hand ; its long eager tongue of flame almost licks the figure of [the Expected]_{7696-the expected} - there - where [she]_4024-she stands full in [my]_{429-justine marie} sight . What is [she]_4024-she like ? What does [she]_4024-she wear ? How does [she]_4024-she look ? Who is [she]_4024-she ? There are many masks in [the park]_{987-the park} to - night , and as the hour wears late , so strange a feeling of revelry and mystery begins to spread abroad , that scarce would [you]_7698-you discredit [me]_{429-justine marie} , [reader]_4604-reader , were [I]_{429-justine marie} to say that [she]_4024-she is like [the nun of [the attic]_{1575-the attic}]_{7700-the nun of the attic} , that [she]_4024-she wears black skirts and white head- clothes , that [she]_4024-she looks the resurrection of the flesh , and that [she]_4024-she is [a risen ghost]_{7702-a risen ghost} . All falsities - all figments ! [We]_7703-we will not deal in this gear . Let [us]_7703-we be honest , and cut , as heretofore , from the homely web of truth . Homely , though , is an ill - chosen word . What [I]_{429-justine marie} see is not precisely homely . [A girl of [Villette]_3-villette]_{7704-a girl of villette} stands there - [a girl fresh from [her]_{7704-a girl of villette} pensionnat]_{7705-a girl fresh from her pensionnat} . [She]_{7704-a girl of villette} is very comely , with the beauty indigenous to [this country]_{1824-this country} . [She]_{7704-a girl of villette} looks well - nourished , fair , and fat of flesh . [Her]_{7704-a girl of villette} cheeks are round , [her]_{7704-a girl of villette} eyes good ; [her]_{7704-a girl of villette} hair is abundant . [She]_{7704-a girl of villette} is handsomely dressed . [She]_{7704-a girl of villette} is not alone ; [her]_{7704-a girl of villette} escort consists of [three persons]_{3948-three persons} - [two being elderly]_{7708-two being elderly} ; these [she]_{7704-a girl of villette} addresses as "_{[429-justine marie]} [Mon Oncle]_{472-mon oncle} " and "_{[473-ma tante]} [Ma Tante]_{473-ma tante} . " [She]_{7704-a girl of villette} laughs , [she]_{7704-a girl of villette} chats ; good - humoured , buxom , and blooming , [she]_{7704-a girl of villette} looks , at all points , [the bourgeoise belle]_{7709-the bourgeoise belle} . "_{[473-ma tante]} So much for [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} ; " so much for ghosts and mystery : not that this last was solved - [this girl]_{4869-this girl} certainly is not [[my]_{473-ma tante} nun]_{7711-my nun} : what [I]_{473-ma tante} saw in [the garret and garden]_{7712-the garret and garden} must have been taller by a span . [We]_7713-we have looked at [the city belle]_{7714-the city belle} ; [we]_7713-we have cursorily glanced at [the respectable old uncle]_{7715-the respectable old uncle} and [aunt]_7716-aunt . Have [we]_7713-we a stray glance to give to [the third member of this company]_{7717-the third member of this company} ? Can [we]_7713-we spare [him]_{7717-the third member of this company} a moment 's notice ? [We]_7713-we ought to distinguish [him]_{7717-the third member of this company} so far , [reader]_4604-reader ; [he]_{7717-the third member of this company} has claims on [us]_7713-we ; [we]_7713-we do not now meet [him]_{7717-the third member of this company} for the first time . [I]_{473-ma tante} clasped [my]_{473-ma tante} hands very hard , and [I]_{473-ma tante} drew [my]_{473-ma tante} breath very deep : [I]_{473-ma tante} held in the cry , [I]_{473-ma tante} devoured the ejaculation , [I]_{473-ma tante} forbade the start , [I]_{473-ma tante} spoke and [I]_{473-ma tante} stirred no more than a stone ; but [I]_{473-ma tante} knew what [I]_{473-ma tante} looked on ; through the dimness left in [my]_{473-ma tante} eyes by many nights ' weeping , [I]_{473-ma tante} knew [him]_{7717-the third member of this company} . [They]_7719-they said [he]_{7717-the third member of this company} was to sail by [the Antigua]_{120-the antigua} . [Madame Beck]_190-madame said so . [She]_190-madame lied , or [she]_190-madame had uttered what was once truth , and failed to contradict it when it became false . [The Antigua]_{120-the antigua} was gone , and there stood [Paul Emanuel]_{303-professor emanuel} . Was [I]_{473-ma tante} glad ? A huge load left [me]_{473-ma tante} . Was it a fact to warrant joy ? [I]_{473-ma tante} know not . Ask first what were the circumstances attendant on this respite ? How far did this delay concern [me]_{473-ma tante} ? Were there not [those whom it might touch more nearly]_{7720-those whom it might touch more nearly} ? After all , who may [this young girl]_{6818-this young girl} , this [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} , be ? Not [a stranger]_{874-a stranger} , [reader]_4604-reader ; [she]_{6818-this young girl} is known to [me]_{473-ma tante} by sight ; [she]_{6818-this young girl} visits at [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} : [she]_{6818-this young girl} is often of [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's Sunday parties . [She]_{6818-this young girl} is [a relation of both [the Becks]_{474-the becks} and [Walravens]_{424-madame walravens}]_{7725-a relation of both the becks and walravens} ; [she]_{6818-this young girl} derives [her]_{6818-this young girl} baptismal name from [the sainted nun who would have been [[her]_{6818-this young girl} aunt]_{2066-her aunt} had [she]_{6818-this young girl} lived]_{7726-the sainted nun who would have been her aunt had she lived} ; [her]_{6818-this young girl} patronymic is [Sauveur]_{429-justine marie} ; [she]_{6818-this young girl} is [an heiress]_{7220-an heiress} and [an orphan]_{7729-an orphan} , and [M. Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} is [[her]_{6818-this young girl} guardian]_{7730-her guardian} ; [some]_5400-some say [[her]_{6818-this young girl} godfather]_{7732-her godfather} . [The family]_{7733-the family} junta wish [this heiress]_{7734-this heiress} to be married to [one of [[their]_{7733-the family} band]_{7736-their band}]_{7735-one of their band} - which is it ? Vital question - which is it ? [I]_{473-ma tante} felt very glad now , that the drug administered in the sweet draught had filled [me]_{473-ma tante} with a possession which made bed and chamber intolerable . [I]_{473-ma tante} always , through [my]_{473-ma tante} whole life , liked to penetrate to the real truth ; [I]_{473-ma tante} like seeking [the goddess]_{7737-the goddess} in [[her]_{7737-the goddess} temple]_{7738-her temple} , and handling the veil , and daring the dread glance . [O Titaness among [deities]_7740-deities]_{7739-o titaness among deities} ! the covered outline of thine aspect sickens often through its uncertainty , but define to [us]_7741-we one trait , show [us]_7741-we one lineament , clear in awful sincerity ; [we]_7741-we may gasp in untold terror , but with that gasp [we]_7741-we drink in a breath of [thy]_{7737-the goddess} divinity ; [our]_7741-we heart shakes , and its currents sway like rivers lifted by earthquake , but [we]_7741-we have swallowed strength . To see and know the worst is to take from [Fear]_475-fear [her]_{7737-the goddess} main advantage . [The Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} ' party , augmented in numbers , now became very gay . [The gentlemen]_{6131-the gentlemen} fetched refreshments from [the kiosk]_{4022-the kiosk} , [all]_4382-all sat down on [the turf under the trees]_{7745-the turf under the trees} ; [they]_4382-all drank healths and sentiments ; [they]_4382-all laughed , [they]_4382-all jested . [M. Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} underwent some raillery , half good - humoured , half , [I]_{473-ma tante} thought , malicious , especially on [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's part . [I]_{473-ma tante} soon gathered that [his]_{306-m. emanuel} voyage had been temporarily deferred of [his]_{306-m. emanuel} own will , without the concurrence , even against the advice , of [[his]_{306-m. emanuel} friends]_{706-his friends} ; [he]_{306-m. emanuel} had let [the Antigua]_{120-the antigua} go , and had taken [his]_{306-m. emanuel} berth in [the Paul et Virginie]_{7747-the paul et virginie} , appointed to sail a fortnight later . It was [his]_{306-m. emanuel} reason for this resolve which [they]_{706-his friends} teased [him]_{306-m. emanuel} to assign , and which [he]_{306-m. emanuel} would only vaguely indicate as "_{[473-ma tante]} the settlement of a little piece of business which [he]_4026-i had set [his]_4026-i heart upon . " What was this business ? [Nobody]_4256-nobody knew . Yes , there was one who seemed partly , at least , in [his]_{306-m. emanuel} confidence ; a meaning look passed between [him]_{306-m. emanuel} and [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} . "_[4026-i] La petite va m'aider - n'est - ce pas ? " said [he]_{306-m. emanuel} . The answer was prompt enough , [God]_164-god knows ? "_[4026-i] Mais oui , je vous aiderai de tout mon coeur . Vous ferez de moi tout ce que vous voudrez , mon parrain . " And [this dear "_[4026-i] parrain]_{7749-this dear " parrain} " took [her]_{429-justine marie} hand and lifted it to [his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} grateful lips . Upon which demonstration , [I]_4026-i saw [the light - complexioned young Teuton]_{7750-the light - complexioned young teuton} , [Heinrich Muehler]_{471-heinrich muehler} , grow restless , as if [he]_{7749-this dear " parrain} did not like it . [He]_{7749-this dear " parrain} even grumbled a few words , whereat [M. Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} actually laughed in [his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} face , and with the ruthless triumph of [the assured conqueror]_{7751-the assured conqueror} , [he]_{7749-this dear " parrain} drew [[his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} ward]_{7752-his ward} nearer to [him]_{7749-this dear " parrain} . [M. Emanuel]_{306-m. emanuel} was indeed very joyous that night . [He]_{7749-this dear " parrain} seemed not one whit subdued by the change of scene and action impending . [He]_{7749-this dear " parrain} was the true life of [the party]_{3470-the party} ; a little despotic , perhaps , determined to be chief in mirth , as well as in labour , yet from moment to moment proving indisputably [his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} right of leadership . [His]_{7749-this dear " parrain} was the wittiest word , the pleasantest anecdote , the frankest laugh . Restlessly active , after [his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} manner , [he]_{7749-this dear " parrain} multiplied [himself]_{7749-this dear " parrain} to wait on all ; but oh ! [I]_4026-i saw which was [his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} favourite . [I]_4026-i saw at whose feet [he]_{7749-this dear " parrain} lay on the turf , [I]_4026-i saw whom [he]_{7749-this dear " parrain} folded carefully from the night air , whom [he]_{7749-this dear " parrain} tended , watched , and cherished as the apple of [his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} eye . Still , hint and raillery flew thick , and still [I]_4026-i gathered that while [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} should be absent , working for [others]_770-others , [these others]_{7755-these others} , not quite ungrateful , would guard for [him]_{7749-this dear " parrain} the treasure [he]_{7749-this dear " parrain} left in [Europe]_17-europe . Let [him]_{7749-this dear " parrain} bring [them]_{7755-these others} an Indian fortune : [they]_{7755-these others} would give [him]_{7749-this dear " parrain} in return [a young bride]_{7756-a young bride} and a rich inheritance . As for the saintly consecration , the vow of constancy , that was forgotten : the blooming and charming Present prevailed over the Past ; and , at length , [his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} nun was indeed buried . Thus it must be . The revelation was indeed come . [Presentiment]_{477-presentiment} had not been mistaken in [her]_7757-her impulse : there is a kind of presentiment which never is mistaken ; it was [I]_4026-i who had for a moment miscalculated ; not seeing the true bearing of [the oracle]_{7758-the oracle} , [I]_4026-i had thought [she]_7757-her muttered of vision when , in truth , [her]_7757-her prediction touched reality . [I]_4026-i might have paused longer upon what [I]_4026-i saw ; [I]_4026-i might have deliberated ere [I]_4026-i drew inferences . Some , perhaps , would have held the premises doubtful , the proofs insufficient ; [some slow sceptics]_{7759-some slow sceptics} would have incredulously examined ere [they]_{7759-some slow sceptics} conclusively accepted the project of a marriage between [a poor and unselfish man of forty]_{7760-a poor and unselfish man of forty} , and [[his]_{7749-this dear " parrain} wealthy ward of eighteen]_{7761-his wealthy ward of eighteen} ; but far from [me]_4026-i such shifts and palliatives , far from [me]_4026-i such temporary evasion of the actual , [such coward]_{7762-such coward} fleeing from the dread , the swift - footed , the all - overtaking Fact , such feeble suspense of submission to [her]_7757-her the sole sovereign , such paltering and faltering resistance to the Power whose errand is to march conquering and to conquer , such traitor defection from the TRUTH . No . [I]_4026-i hastened to accept the whole plan . [I]_4026-i extended [my]_4026-i grasp and took it all in . [I]_4026-i gathered it to [me]_4026-i with a sort of rage of haste , and folded it round [me]_4026-i , as [the soldier]_{7763-the soldier} struck on the field folds [his]_{7763-the soldier} colours about [his]_{7763-the soldier} breast . [I]_4026-i invoked Conviction to nail upon [me]_4026-i the certainty , abhorred while embraced , to fix it with the strongest spikes [her]_7757-her strongest strokes could drive ; and when the iron had entered well [my]_4026-i soul , [I]_4026-i stood up , as [I]_4026-i thought , renovated . In [my]_4026-i infatuation , [I]_4026-i said , "_[4026-i] Truth , [you]_4027-you are [a good mistress to [[your]_4027-you faithful servants]_{4029-your faithful servants}]_{4028-a good mistress to your faithful servants} ! While a Lie pressed [me]_0-i , how [I]_0-i suffered ! Even when the Falsehood was still sweet , still flattering to the fancy , and warm to the feelings , it wasted [me]_0-i with hourly torment . The persuasion that affection was won could not be divorced from the dread that , by another turn of the wheel , it might be lost . Truth stripped away Falsehood , and Flattery , and Expectancy , and here [I]_0-i stand - free ! " Nothing remained now but to take [my]_0-i freedom to [[my]_0-i chamber]_{4944-my chamber} , to carry it with [me]_0-i to [my]_0-i bed and see what [I]_0-i could make of it . The play was not yet , indeed , quite played out . [I]_0-i might have waited and watched longer that love - scene under the trees , that sylvan courtship . Had there been nothing of love in the demonstration , [my]_0-i Fancy in this hour was so generous , so creative , [she]_4027-you could have modelled for it the most salient lineaments , and given it the deepest life and highest colour of passion . But [I]_0-i would not look ; [I]_0-i had fixed [my]_0-i resolve , but [I]_0-i would not violate [my]_0-i nature . And then - something tore [me]_0-i so cruelly under [my]_0-i shawl , something so dug into [my]_0-i side , a vulture so strong in beak and talon , [I]_0-i must be alone to grapple with it . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i never felt jealousy till now . This was not like enduring the endearments of [Dr. John]_135-graham and [Paulina]_141-paulina , against which while [I]_0-i sealed [my]_0-i eyes and [my]_0-i ears , while [I]_0-i withdrew thence [my]_0-i thoughts , [my]_0-i sense of harmony still acknowledged in it a charm . This was an outrage . The love born of beauty was not [mine]_0-i ; [I]_0-i had nothing in common with it : [I]_0-i could not dare to meddle with it , but another love , venturing diffidently into life after long acquaintance , furnace - tried by pain , stamped by constancy , consolidated by affection 's pure and durable alloy , submitted by intellect to intellect 's own tests , and finally wrought up , by [his]_7765-his own process , to [his]_7765-his own unflawed completeness , this Love that laughed at Passion , [his]_7765-his fast frenzies and [his]_7765-his hot and hurried extinction , in this Love [I]_0-i had a vested interest ; and whatever tended either to its culture or its destruction , [I]_0-i could not view impassibly . [I]_0-i turned from the group of trees and the "_[0-i] merrie companie " in its shade . Midnight was long past ; the concert was over , [the crowds]_{7766-the crowds} were thinning . [I]_0-i followed the ebb . Leaving [the radiant park]_{7767-the radiant park} and well - lit [Haute - Ville]_{123-haute - ville} still well lit , this it seems was to be a "_[0-i] nuit blanche " in [Villette]_3-villette , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} sought [the dim lower quarter]_{7768-the dim lower quarter} . Dim [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} should not say , for the beauty of moonlight - forgotten in [the park]_{987-the park} - here once more flowed in upon perception . High [she]_7770-her rode , and calm and stainlessly [she]_7770-her shone . The music and the mirth of the fete , the fire and bright hues of those lamps had out - done and out - shone [her]_7770-her for an hour , but now , again , [her]_7770-her glory and [her]_7770-her silence triumphed . The rival lamps were dying : [she]_7770-her held [her]_7770-her course like a white fate . Drum , trumpet , bugle , had uttered [their]_{7766-the crowds} clangour , and were forgotten ; with pencil - ray [she]_7770-her wrote on heaven and on earth records for archives everlasting . [She]_7770-her and those stars seemed to [me]_{7700-the nun of the attic} at once [the types and witnesses of truth all regnant]_{7771-the types and witnesses of truth all regnant} . The night - sky lit [her]_7770-her reign : like its slow - wheeling progress , advanced [her]_7770-her victory - that onward movement which has been , and is , and will be from eternity to eternity . [These oil - twinkling streets]_{7772-these oil - twinkling streets} are very still : [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} like them for [their]_{7772-these oil - twinkling streets} lowliness and peace . Homeward - bound burghers pass [me]_{7700-the nun of the attic} now and then , but [these companies]_{7773-these companies} are [pedestrians]_{7774-pedestrians} , make little noise , and are soon gone . So well do [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} love [Villette]_3-villette under [her]_3-villette present aspect , not willingly would [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} re - enter under a roof , but that [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} am bent on pursuing [my]_{7700-the nun of the attic} strange adventure to a successful close , and quietly regaining [my]_{7700-the nun of the attic} bed in [the great dormitory]_{5533-the great dormitory} , before [Madame Beck]_190-madame comes [home]_542-home . Only [one street]_{7777-one street} lies between [me]_{7700-the nun of the attic} and [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} ; as [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} enter [it]_{7777-one street} , for the first time , the sound of [a carriage]_{7263-a carriage} tears up the deep peace of [this quarter]_{1398-this quarter} . It comes this way - comes very fast . How loud sounds its rattle on [the paved path]_{7781-the paved path} ! [The street]_{623-the street} is narrow , and [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} keep carefully to [the causeway]_{7783-the causeway} . [The carriage]_{5783-the carriage} thunders past , but what do [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} see , or fancy [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} see , as it rushes by ? Surely something white fluttered from that window - surely a hand waved a handkerchief . Was that signal meant for [me]_{7700-the nun of the attic} ? Am [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} known ? Who could recognise [me]_{7700-the nun of the attic} ? That is not [[M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} 's carriage]_{7785-m. de bassompierre 's carriage} , nor [Mrs. Bretton]_{130-mrs. bretton} 's ; and besides , neither [the Hotel Crecy]_{86-the hotel crecy} nor [the chateau of [La Terrasse]_{73-la terrasse}]_{7786-the chateau of la terrasse} lies in that direction . Well , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} have no time for conjecture ; [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} must hurry [home]_542-home . Gaining [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} , reaching [the pensionnat]_{4723-the pensionnat} , all there was still ; [no fiacre]_{7789-no fiacre} had yet arrived with [Madame]_190-madame and [Desiree]_208-desiree . [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} had left the great door ajar ; should [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} find it thus ? Perhaps the wind or some other accident may have thrown it to with sufficient force to start the spring - bolt ? In that case , hopeless became admission ; [my]_{7700-the nun of the attic} adventure must issue in catastrophe . [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} lightly pushed the heavy leaf ; would it yield ? Yes . As soundless , as unresisting , as if [some propitious genius]_{7790-some propitious genius} had waited on a sesame - charm , in [the vestibule within]_{7791-the vestibule within} . Entering with bated breath , quietly making all fast , shoelessly mounting the staircase , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} sought [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} , and reached [my]_{7700-the nun of the attic} couch . Ay ! [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} reached it , and once more drew a free inspiration . The next moment , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} almost shrieked - almost , but not quite , thank [Heaven]_188-heaven ! Throughout [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} , throughout [the house]_{518-the house} , there reigned at this hour the stillness of death . [All]_4382-all slept , and in such hush , it seemed that [none]_4383-none dreamed . Stretched on the nineteen beds lay nineteen forms , at full - length and motionless . On [mine]_{7700-the nun of the attic} - the twentieth couch - nothing ought to have lain : [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} had left it void , and void should have found it . What , then ; do [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} see between the half - drawn curtains ? What dark , usurping shape , supine , long , and strange ? Is it [a robber who has made [his]_{7797-a robber who has made his way through the open street - door , and lies there in wait} way through the open street - door , and lies there in wait]_{7797-a robber who has made his way through the open street - door , and lies there in wait} ? It looks very black , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} think it looks - not human . Can it be a wandering dog that has come in from [the street]_{623-the street} and crept and nestled hither ? Will it spring , will [it]_7799-it leap out if [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} approach ? Approach [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} must . Courage ! One step ! - [My]_{7700-the nun of the attic} head reeled , for by the faint night - lamp , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} saw stretched on [my]_{7700-the nun of the attic} bed the old phantom - [the NUN]_{1581-the nun} . A cry at this moment might have ruined [me]_{7700-the nun of the attic} . Be the spectacle what it might , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} could afford neither consternation , scream , nor swoon . Besides , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} was not overcome . Tempered by late incidents , [my]_{7700-the nun of the attic} nerves disdained hysteria . Warm from illuminations , and music , and thronging [thousands , thoroughly lashed up by a new scourge]_{7801-thousands , thoroughly lashed up by a new scourge} , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} defied spectra . In a moment , without exclamation , [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} had rushed on the haunted couch ; nothing leaped out , or sprung , or stirred ; all the movement was [mine]_{7700-the nun of the attic} , so was all the life , the reality , the substance , the force ; as [my]_{7700-the nun of the attic} instinct felt . [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} tore [her]_{1581-the nun} up - the incubus ! [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} held [her]_{1581-the nun} on high - the goblin ! [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} shook [her]_{1581-the nun} loose - the mystery ! And down [she]_{1581-the nun} fell - down all around [me]_{7700-the nun of the attic} - down in shreds and fragments - and [I]_{7700-the nun of the attic} trode upon [her]_{1581-the nun} . Here again - behold the branchless tree , the unstabled [Rosinante]_{478-rosinante} ; the film of cloud , the flicker of moonshine . [The long nun]_{7802-the long nun} proved [a long bolster dressed in a long black stole , and artfully invested with a white veil]_{7803-a long bolster dressed in a long black stole , and artfully invested with a white veil} . The garments in very truth , strange as it may seem , were [genuine nun]_{7804-genuine nun} 's garments , and by some hand they had been disposed with a view to illusion . Whence came these vestments ? Who contrived this artifice ? These questions still remained . To the head - bandage was pinned a slip of paper : it bore in pencil these mocking words - "_{[7700-the nun of the attic]} [The nun of [the attic]_{1575-the attic}]_{7700-the nun of the attic} bequeaths to [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy [her]_142-lucy wardrobe . [She]_142-lucy will be seen in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} no more . " And what and who was [she]_{1581-the nun} that had haunted [me]_142-lucy ? [She]_{1581-the nun} , [I]_142-lucy had actually seen three times . Not [a woman of [my]_142-lucy acquaintance]_{7805-a woman of my acquaintance} had the stature of that ghost . [She]_{1581-the nun} was not of a female height . Not to [any man [I]_142-lucy knew]_{7806-any man i knew} could the machination , for a moment , be attributed . Still mystified beyond expression , but as thoroughly , as suddenly , relieved from all sense of the spectral and unearthly ; scorning also to wear out [my]_142-lucy brain with the fret of a trivial though insoluble riddle , [I]_142-lucy just bundled together stole , veil , and bandages , thrust them beneath [my]_142-lucy pillow , lay down , listened till [I]_142-lucy heard the wheels of [[Madame]_190-madame 's [home]_542-home]_{7807-madame 's home} - returning fiacre , then turned , and worn out by many nights ' vigils , conquered , too , perhaps , by the now reacting narcotic , [I]_142-lucy deeply slept . CHAPTER XL . [THE HAPPY PAIR]_{7809-the happy pair} . The day succeeding this remarkable Midsummer night , proved no common day . [I]_142-lucy do not mean that it brought signs in [heaven above]_{7810-heaven above} , or portents on [the earth beneath]_{7811-the earth beneath} ; nor do [I]_142-lucy allude to meteorological phenomena , to storm , flood , or whirlwind . On the contrary : the sun rose jocund , with a July face . Morning decked [her]_{1581-the nun} beauty with rubies , and so filled [her]_{1581-the nun} lap with roses , that they fell from [her]_{1581-the nun} in showers , making [her]_{1581-the nun} path blush : the Hours woke fresh as nymphs , and emptying on [the early hills]_{7812-the early hills} [their]_{7809-the happy pair} dew - vials , [they]_{7809-the happy pair} stepped out dismantled of vapour : shadowless , azure , and glorious , [they]_{7809-the happy pair} led the sun 's steeds on a burning and unclouded course . In short , it was as fine a day as the finest summer could boast ; but [I]_142-lucy doubt whether [I]_142-lucy was not [the sole inhabitant of [the Rue Fossette , who cared or remembered to note this pleasant fact]_{7814-the rue fossette , who cared or remembered to note this pleasant fact}]_{7813-the sole inhabitant of the rue fossette , who cared or remembered to note this pleasant fact} . Another thought busied all other heads ; a thought , indeed , which had its share in [my]_142-lucy meditations ; but this master consideration , not possessing for [me]_142-lucy so entire a novelty , so overwhelming a suddenness , especially so dense a mystery , as it offered to the majority of [[my]_142-lucy co - speculators]_{7815-my co - speculators} thereon , left [me]_142-lucy somewhat more open than the rest to any collateral observation or impression . Still , while walking in [the garden]_{1165-the garden} , feeling the sunshine , and marking the blooming and growing plants , [I]_142-lucy pondered the same subject [the whole house]_{1327-the whole house} discussed . What subject ? Merely this . When matins came to be said , there was a place vacant in [the first rank of [boarders]_{7819-boarders}]_{7818-the first rank of boarders} . When breakfast was served , there remained a coffee - cup unclaimed . When [the housemaid]_{7820-the housemaid} made the beds , [she]_{7820-the housemaid} found in one , a bolster laid lengthwise , clad in a cap and night - gown ; and when [[Ginevra Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's music - mistress]_{7821-ginevra fanshawe 's music - mistress} came early , as usual , to give the morning lesson , [that accomplished and promising young person]_{7822-that accomplished and promising young person} , [[her]_{7821-ginevra fanshawe 's music - mistress} pupil]_{7823-her pupil} , failed utterly to be forthcoming . High and low was [Miss Fanshawe]_179-ginevra sought ; through length and breadth was [the house]_{518-the house} ransacked ; vainly ; not a trace , not an indication , not so much as a scrap of a billet rewarded the search ; [the nymph]_{7825-the nymph} was vanished , engulfed in the past night , like a shooting star swallowed up by darkness . Deep was the dismay of [surveillante teachers]_{7826-surveillante teachers} , deeper the horror of [the defaulting directress]_{7827-the defaulting directress} . Never had [I]_142-lucy seen [Madame Beck]_190-madame so pale or so appalled . Here was a blow struck at [her]_190-madame tender part , [her]_190-madame weak side ; here was damage done to [her]_190-madame interest . How , too , had the untoward event happened ? By what outlet had [the fugitive]_{7828-the fugitive} taken wing ? Not a casement was found unfastened , not a pane of glass broken ; all the doors were bolted secure . Never to this day has [Madame Beck]_190-madame obtained satisfaction on this point , nor indeed has [anybody else concerned]_{7829-anybody else concerned} , save and excepting one , [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy , who could not forget how , to facilitate a certain enterprise , a certain great door had been drawn softly to its lintel , closed , indeed , but neither bolted nor secure . [The thundering carriage]_{7830-the thundering carriage} - and - pair encountered were now likewise recalled , as well as that puzzling signal , the waved handkerchief . From [these premises]_{3247-these premises} , and one or two others , inaccessible to any but [myself]_142-lucy , [I]_142-lucy could draw but one inference . It was a case of elopement . Morally certain on this head , and seeing [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's profound embarrassment , [I]_142-lucy at last communicated [my]_142-lucy conviction . Having alluded to [M. de Hamal]_{479-m. de hamal} 's suit , [I]_142-lucy found , as [I]_142-lucy expected , that [Madame Beck]_190-madame was perfectly au fait to that affair . [She]_190-madame had long since discussed it with [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} , and laid [her]_190-madame own responsibility in the business on [that lady]_{577-that lady} 's shoulders . To [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} and [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} [she]_190-madame now had recourse . [We]_7833-we found that [the Hotel Crecy]_{2993-the hotel crecy} was already alive to what had happened . [Ginevra]_179-ginevra had written to [[her]_179-ginevra cousin]_{3058-her cousin} [Paulina]_141-paulina , vaguely signifying hymeneal intentions ; communications had been received from [the family of [de Hamal]_{479-m. de hamal}]_{7836-the family of de hamal} ; [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was on the track of [the fugitives]_{7837-the fugitives} . [He]_{178-m. de bassompierre} overtook [them]_{7837-the fugitives} too late . In the course of the week , the post brought [me]_142-lucy a note . [I]_142-lucy may as well transcribe it ; it contains explanation on more than one point : - ' [DEAR OLD TIM]_{480-dear old tim} "_[142-lucy] short for [Timon]_318-timon , - " [I]_318-timon am off [you]_{480-dear old tim} see - gone like a shot . [Alfred]_230-alfred and [I]_318-timon intended to be married in this way almost from the first ; [we]_7833-we never meant to be spliced in the humdrum way of [other people]_{1151-other people} ; [Alfred]_230-alfred has too much spirit for that , and so have [I]_318-timon - Dieu merci ! Do [you]_{480-dear old tim} know , [Alfred]_230-alfred , who used to call [you]_{480-dear old tim} ' the dragon , ' has seen so much of [you]_{480-dear old tim} during the last few months , that [he]_230-alfred begins to feel quite friendly towards [you]_{480-dear old tim} . [He]_230-alfred hopes [you]_{480-dear old tim} wo n't miss [him]_230-alfred now that [he]_230-alfred has gone ; [he]_230-alfred begs to apologize for any little trouble [he]_230-alfred may have given [you]_{480-dear old tim} . [He]_230-alfred is afraid [he]_230-alfred rather inconvenienced [you]_{480-dear old tim} once when [he]_230-alfred came upon [you]_{480-dear old tim} in [the grenier]_{2381-the grenier} , just as [you]_{480-dear old tim} were reading a letter seemingly of the most special interest ; but [he]_230-alfred could not resist the temptation to give [you]_{480-dear old tim} a start , [you]_{480-dear old tim} appeared so wonderfully taken up with [[your]_{480-dear old tim} correspondent]_{7840-your correspondent} . En revanche , [he]_230-alfred says [you]_{480-dear old tim} once frightened [him]_230-alfred by rushing in for a dress or a shawl , or some other chiffon , at the moment when [he]_230-alfred had struck a light , and was going to take a quiet whiff of [his]_230-alfred cigar , while waiting for [me]_318-timon . "_[318-timon] Do [you]_4032-you begin to comprehend by this time that [M. le Comte de Hamal]_{479-m. de hamal} was [the nun of the attic]_{7700-the nun of the attic} , and that [he]_{479-m. de hamal} came to see [[your]_4032-you humble servant]_{4034-your humble servant} ? [I]_0-i will tell [you]_4032-you how [he]_{479-m. de hamal} managed it . [You]_4032-you know [he]_{479-m. de hamal} has the entree of the Athenee , where [two or three of [[his]_{479-m. de hamal} nephews]_{4036-his nephews}]_{4035-two or three of his nephews} , [the sons of [[his]_{479-m. de hamal} eldest sister]_{4038-his eldest sister}]_{4037-the sons of his eldest sister} , [Madame de Melcy]_{481-madame de melcy} , are [students]_{4039-students} . [You]_4032-you know [the court of [the Athenee]_{95-the athenee}]_{4040-the court of the athenee} is on the other side of the high wall bounding [your]_4032-you walk , [the allee defendue]_{3851-the allee defendue} . [Alfred]_230-alfred can climb as well as [he]_230-alfred can dance or fence : [his]_230-alfred amusement was to make the escalade of [[our]_4042-our pensionnat]_{4043-our pensionnat} by mounting , first the wall ; then - by the aid of that high tree overspreading [the grand berceau]_{4044-the grand berceau} , and resting some of its boughs on the roof of [the lower buildings of [[our]_4042-our premises]_{4046-our premises}]_{4045-the lower buildings of our premises} - [he]_230-alfred managed to scale [the first classe and [the grand salle]_{1620-the grand salle}]_{4047-the first classe and the grand salle} . One night , by the way , [he]_230-alfred fell out of this tree , tore down some of the branches , nearly broke [his]_230-alfred own neck , and after all , in running away , got a terrible fright , and was nearly caught by [two people]_{4049-two people} , [Madame Beck]_190-madame and [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} , [he]_230-alfred thinks , walking in [the alley]_{5354-the alley} . From [the grande salle]_{6723-the grande salle} the ascent is not difficult to [the highest block of building]_{4052-the highest block of building} , finishing in [the great garret]_{4053-the great garret} . The skylight , [you]_4054-you know , is , day and night , left half open for air ; by the skylight [he]_230-alfred entered . Nearly a year ago [I]_0-i chanced to tell [him]_230-alfred [our]_4042-our legend of [the nun]_{1581-the nun} ; that suggested [his]_230-alfred romantic idea of the spectral disguise , which [I]_0-i think [you]_4054-you must allow [he]_230-alfred has very cleverly carried out . " But for [the nun]_{1581-the nun} 's black gown and white veil , [he]_230-alfred would have been caught again and again both by [you]_4054-you and [that tiger - Jesuit]_{7842-that tiger - jesuit} , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . [He]_{196-m. paul} thinks [you]_4054-you both capital [ghost - seers]_{7843-ghost - seers} , and very brave . What [I]_4054-you wonder at is , rather [your]_4054-you secretiveness than [your]_4054-you courage . How could [you]_4054-you endure the visitations of [that long spectre]_{7844-that long spectre} , time after time , without crying out , telling [everybody]_{4957-everybody} , and rousing [the whole house]_{1327-the whole house} and [neighbourhood]_{7847-neighbourhood} ? "_[4054-you] Oh , and how did [you]_4054-you like [the nun]_{1581-the nun} as [a bed - fellow]_{4057-a bed - fellow} ? [I]_0-i dressed [her]_{1581-the nun} up : did n't [I]_0-i do it well ? Did [you]_4054-you shriek when [you]_4054-you saw [her]_{1581-the nun} : [I]_0-i should have gone mad ; but then [you]_4054-you have such nerves ! - real iron and bend- leather ! [I]_0-i believe [you]_4054-you feel nothing . [You]_4054-you have n't the same sensitiveness that [a person of]_{4058-a person of} [my]_0-i constitution has . [You]_4054-you seem to [me]_0-i insensible both to pain and fear and grief . [You]_4054-you are [a real old Diogenes]_{4059-a real old diogenes} . " Well , [dear grandmother]_{7848-dear grandmother} ! and are [you]_4054-you not mightily angry at [my]_4054-you moonlight flitting and run away match ? [I]_4054-you assure [you]_4054-you it is excellent fun , and [I]_4054-you did it partly to spite that minx , [Paulina]_141-paulina , and [that bear]_{7849-that bear} , [Dr. John]_135-graham : to show [them]_4054-you that , with all [their]_4054-you airs , [I]_4054-you could get married as well as [they]_4054-you . [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was at first in a strange fume with [Alfred]_230-alfred ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} threatened a prosecution for ' detournement de mineur , ' and [I]_4054-you know not what ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} was so abominably in earnest , that [I]_4054-you found [myself]_4054-you forced to do a little bit of the melodramatic - go down on [my]_4054-you knees , sob , cry , drench three pocket - handkerchiefs . Of course , ' mon oncle ' soon gave in ; indeed , where was the use of making a fuss ? [I]_4054-you am married , and that 's all about it . [He]_{178-m. de bassompierre} still says [our]_7850-our marriage is not legal , because [I]_4054-you am not of age , forsooth ! As if that made any difference ! [I]_4054-you am just as much married as if [I]_4054-you were a hundred . However , [we]_7850-our are to be married again , and [I]_4054-you am to have a trousseau , and [Mrs. Cholmondeley]_{223-mrs. cholmondeley} is going to superintend it ; and there are some hopes that [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} will give [me]_4054-you a decent portion , which will be very convenient , as [dear Alfred]_230-alfred has nothing but [his]_230-alfred nobility , native and hereditary , and [his]_230-alfred pay . [I]_4054-you only wish [uncle]_4949-uncle would do things unconditionally , in a generous , gentleman - like fashion ; [he]_{178-m. de bassompierre} is so disagreeable as to make the dowry depend on [Alfred]_230-alfred 's giving [his]_230-alfred written promise that [he]_230-alfred will never touch cards or dice from the day it is paid down . [They]_7852-they accuse [[my]_4054-you angel]_{1447-my angel} of a tendency to play : [I]_4054-you do n't know anything about that , but [I]_4054-you do know [he]_230-alfred is [a dear , adorable creature]_{7854-a dear , adorable creature} . "_[4054-you] [I]_0-i can not sufficiently extol the genius with which [de Hamal]_230-alfred managed [our]_4060-our flight . How clever in [him]_230-alfred to select the night of the fete , when [Madame]_190-madame for [he]_230-alfred knows [her]_190-madame habits , as [he]_230-alfred said , would infallibly be absent at the concert in [the park]_{987-the park} . [I]_0-i suppose [you]_4062-you must have gone with [her]_190-madame . [I]_0-i watched [you]_4062-you rise and leave [the dormitory]_{5027-the dormitory} about eleven o'clock . How [you]_4062-you returned alone , and on foot , [I]_0-i can not conjecture . That surely was [you]_4062-you [we]_4060-our met in [the narrow old Rue St. Jean]_{4064-the narrow old rue st. jean} ? Did [you]_4062-you see [me]_0-i wave [my]_0-i handkerchief from the carriage window ? " Adieu ! Rejoice in [my]_4062-you good luck : congratulate [me]_4062-you on [my]_4062-you supreme happiness , and believe [me]_4062-you , [dear cynic and misanthrope]_{7855-dear cynic and misanthrope} , [yours]_4062-you , in the best of health and spirits , [GINEVRA LAURA DE HAMAL]_{271-de hamal} , [nee FANSHAWE]_179-ginevra . "_[4062-you] P.S. - Remember , [I]_0-i am [a countess]_{4065-a countess} now . [Papa]_140-papa , [mamma]_4272-mamma , and [the girls]_{4757-the girls} at [home]_542-home , will be delighted to hear that . ' [[My]_0-i daughter]_{1804-my daughter} [the Countess]_{2721-the countess} ! ' ' [[My]_0-i sister]_{959-my sister} [the Countess]_{2721-the countess} ! ' [Bravo]_482-bravo ! Sounds rather better than [Mrs. John Bretton]_{483-mrs. john bretton} , hein ? " In winding up [Mistress Fanshawe]_179-ginevra 's memoirs , [the reader]_{759-the reader} will no doubt expect to hear that [she]_179-ginevra came finally to bitter expiation of [her]_179-ginevra youthful levities . Of course , a large share of suffering lies in reserve for [her]_179-ginevra future . A few words will embody [my]_{483-mrs. john bretton} farther knowledge respecting [her]_179-ginevra . [I]_{483-mrs. john bretton} saw [her]_179-ginevra towards the close of [her]_179-ginevra honeymoon . [She]_179-ginevra called on [Madame Beck]_190-madame , and sent for [me]_{483-mrs. john bretton} into [the salon]_{1040-the salon} . [She]_179-ginevra rushed into [my]_{483-mrs. john bretton} arms laughing . [She]_179-ginevra looked very blooming and beautiful : [her]_179-ginevra curls were longer , [her]_179-ginevra cheeks rosier than ever : [her]_179-ginevra white bonnet and [her]_179-ginevra Flanders veil , [her]_179-ginevra orange - flowers and [[her]_179-ginevra bride]_{7858-her bride} 's dress , became [her]_179-ginevra mightily . "_{[483-mrs. john bretton]} [I]_0-i have got [my]_0-i portion ! " [she]_179-ginevra cried at once ; [Ginevra]_179-ginevra ever stuck to the substantial ; [I]_0-i always thought there was a good trading element in [her]_179-ginevra composition , much as [she]_179-ginevra scorned [the "_[0-i] bourgeoise]_{7859-the " bourgeoise} ; " "_[0-i] and [uncle]_4949-uncle [de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} is quite reconciled . [I]_0-i do n't mind [his]_4949-uncle calling [Alfred]_230-alfred a ' nincompoop ' - that 's only [his]_4949-uncle coarse Scotch breeding ; and [I]_0-i believe [Paulina]_141-paulina envies [me]_0-i , and [Dr. John]_135-graham is wild with jealousy - fit to blow [his]_4949-uncle brains out - and [I]_0-i 'm so happy ! [I]_0-i really think [I]_0-i 've hardly anything left to wish for - unless it be [a carriage]_{7263-a carriage} and [an hotel]_{2576-an hotel} , and , oh ! [I]_0-i - must introduce [you]_230-alfred to ' [mon mari]_{4076-mon mari} . ' [Alfred]_230-alfred , come here ! " And [Alfred]_230-alfred appeared from [the inner salon]_{7860-the inner salon} , where [he]_230-alfred was talking to [Madame Beck]_190-madame , receiving the blended felicitations and reprimands of [that lady]_{577-that lady} . [I]_230-alfred was presented under [my]_230-alfred various names : [the Dragon]_{7862-the dragon} , [Diogenes]_{227-old crusty - old diogenes} , and [Timon]_318-timon . [The young Colonel]_{7863-the young colonel} was very polite . [He]_{7863-the young colonel} made [me]_230-alfred a prettily - turned , neatly - worded apology , about the ghost - visits , c. , concluding with saying that "_[230-alfred] the best excuse for all [his]_230-alfred iniquities stood there ! " pointing to [[his]_230-alfred bride]_{7864-his bride} . And then [the bride]_{7865-the bride} sent [him]_230-alfred back to [Madame Beck]_190-madame , and [she]_190-madame took [me]_{4301-a mother} to [herself]_190-madame , and proceeded literally to suffocate [me]_{4301-a mother} with [her]_190-madame unrestrained spirits , [her]_190-madame girlish , giddy , wild nonsense . [She]_190-madame showed [her]_190-madame ring exultingly ; [she]_190-madame called [herself]_190-madame [Madame la Comtesse de Hamal]_320-madame , and asked how it sounded , a score of times . [I]_{4301-a mother} said very little . [I]_{4301-a mother} gave [her]_190-madame only the crust and rind of [my]_{4301-a mother} nature . No matter [she]_190-madame expected of [me]_{4301-a mother} nothing better - [she]_190-madame knew [me]_{4301-a mother} too well to look for compliments - [my]_{4301-a mother} dry gibes pleased [her]_190-madame well enough and the more impassible and prosaic [[my]_{4301-a mother} mien]_{7866-my mien} , the more merrily [she]_190-madame laughed . Soon after [his]_7867-his marriage , [M. de Hamal]_{479-m. de hamal} was persuaded to leave [the army]_{7165-the army} as the surest way of weaning [him]_7867-his from [certain unprofitable associates]_{7869-certain unprofitable associates} and habits ; a post of [attache]_7870-attache was procured for [him]_7867-his , and [he]_7867-his and [[his]_7867-his young wife]_{7871-his young wife} went abroad . [I]_{4301-a mother} thought [she]_190-madame would forget [me]_{4301-a mother} now , but [she]_190-madame did not . For many years , [she]_190-madame kept up a capricious , fitful sort of correspondence . During the first year or two , it was only of [herself]_190-madame and [Alfred]_230-alfred [she]_190-madame wrote ; then , [Alfred]_230-alfred faded in the background ; [herself]_190-madame and [a certain , new comer]_{7872-a certain , new comer} prevailed ; [one Alfred Fanshawe de Bassompierre de Hamal]_{484-one alfred fanshawe de bassompierre de hamal} began to reign in [[his]_230-alfred father]_{6272-his father} 's stead . There were great boastings about [this personage]_{7874-this personage} , extravagant amplifications upon miracles of precocity , mixed with vehement objurgations against the phlegmatic incredulity with which [I]_{4301-a mother} received them . [I]_{4301-a mother} did n't know "_{[4301-a mother]} what it was to be [a mother]_{4301-a mother} ; " "_{[4301-a mother]} unfeeling thing that [I]_0-i was , the sensibilities of the maternal heart were Greek and Hebrew to [me]_0-i , " and so on . In due course of nature [this young gentleman]_{7875-this young gentleman} took [his]_{7875-this young gentleman} degrees in teething , measles , hooping - cough : that was a terrible time for [me]_{4301-a mother} - [the mamma]_{7876-the mamma} 's letters became a perfect shout of affliction ; [never woman]_{7877-never woman} was so put upon by calamity : [never human being]_{7878-never human being} stood in such need of sympathy . [I]_{4301-a mother} was frightened at first , and wrote back pathetically ; but [I]_{4301-a mother} soon found out there was more cry than wool in the business , and relapsed into [my]_{4301-a mother} natural cruel insensibility . As to [the youthful sufferer]_{7879-the youthful sufferer} , [he]_{7879-the youthful sufferer} weathered each storm like [a hero]_{7880-a hero} . Five times was [that youth]_{7881-that youth} "_{[4301-a mother]} in articulo mortis , " and five times did [he]_{7879-the youthful sufferer} miraculously revive . In the course of years there arose ominous murmurings against [Alfred]_{484-one alfred fanshawe de bassompierre de hamal} the First ; [M. de Bassompierre]_{178-m. de bassompierre} had to be appealed to , debts had to be paid , some of them of that dismal and dingy order called "_{[4301-a mother]} debts of honour ; " ignoble plaints and difficulties became frequent . Under every cloud , no matter what its nature , [Ginevra]_179-ginevra , as of old , called out lustily for sympathy and aid . [She]_179-ginevra had no notion of meeting any distress single - handed . In some shape , from some quarter or other , [she]_179-ginevra was pretty sure to obtain [her]_179-ginevra will , and so [she]_179-ginevra got on - fighting the battle of life by proxy , and , on the whole , suffering as little as [any human being]_{1760-any human being} [I]_{4301-a mother} have ever known . CHAPTER XLI . [FAUBOURG CLOTILDE]_{485-faubourg clotilde} . Must [I]_{4301-a mother} , ere [I]_{4301-a mother} close , render some account of that Freedom and Renovation which [I]_{4301-a mother} won on the fete - night ? Must [I]_{4301-a mother} tell how [I]_{4301-a mother} and [the two stalwart companions [I]_{4301-a mother} brought [home]_542-home from [the illuminated park]_{7885-the illuminated park}]_{7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park} bore the test of intimate acquaintance ? [I]_{4301-a mother} tried them the very next day . [They]_{7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park} had boasted [their]_{7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park} strength loudly when [they]_{7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park} reclaimed [me]_{4301-a mother} from love and its bondage , but upon [my]_{4301-a mother} demanding deeds , not words , some evidence of better comfort , some experience of a relieved life - [Freedom]_486-freedom excused [himself]_486-freedom , as for [the present impoverished and disabled]_{7886-the present impoverished and disabled} to assist ; and [Renovation]_{487-renovation} never spoke ; [he]_486-freedom had died in the night suddenly . [I]_{4301-a mother} had nothing left for it then but to trust secretly that conjecture might have hurried [me]_{4301-a mother} too fast and too far , to sustain the oppressive hour by reminders of the distorting and discolouring magic of jealousy . After a short and vain struggle , [I]_{4301-a mother} found [myself]_{4301-a mother} brought back captive to the old rack of suspense , tied down and strained anew . Shall [I]_{4301-a mother} yet see [him]_486-freedom before [he]_486-freedom goes ? Will [he]_486-freedom bear [me]_{4301-a mother} in mind ? Does [he]_486-freedom purpose to come ? Will this day - will the next hour bring [him]_486-freedom ? or must [I]_{4301-a mother} again assay that corroding pain of long attent - that rude agony of rupture at the close , that mute , mortal wrench , which , in at once uprooting hope and doubt , shakes life ; while the hand that does the violence can not be caressed to pity , because absence interposes [her]_7887-her barrier ! It was the Feast of [the Assumption]_{7888-the assumption} ; [no school]_{7889-no school} was held . [The boarders]_{1097-the boarders} and [teachers]_{1087-teachers} , after attending mass in the morning , were gone a long walk into [the country]_{571-the country} to take [their]_{1097-the boarders} gouter , or afternoon meal , at [some farm - house]_{7893-some farm - house} . [I]_{4301-a mother} did not go with [them]_{1097-the boarders} , for now but two days remained ere [the Paul et Virginie]_214-virginie must sail , and [I]_{4301-a mother} was clinging to [my]_{4301-a mother} last chance , as the living waif of a wreck clings to [his]_486-freedom last raft or cable . There was [some joiners]_{7894-some joiners} ' work to do in the first classe , some bench or desk to repair ; holidays were often turned to account for the performance of these operations , which could not be executed when [the rooms]_{5260-the rooms} were filled with [pupils]_4924-pupils . As [I]_{4301-a mother} sat solitary , purposing to adjourn to [the garden]_{1165-the garden} and leave [the coast]_{7898-the coast} clear , but too listless to fulfil [my]_{4301-a mother} own intent , [I]_{4301-a mother} heard [the workmen]_{7899-the workmen} coming . [Foreign artisans]_{7900-foreign artisans} and [servants]_{1062-servants} do everything by [couples]_7902-couples : [I]_{4301-a mother} believe it would take [two Labassecourien carpenters]_{7903-two labassecourien carpenters} to drive a nail . While tying on [my]_{4301-a mother} bonnet , which had hitherto hung by its ribbons from [my]_{4301-a mother} idle hand , [I]_{4301-a mother} vaguely and momentarily wondered to hear the step of but one "_{[4301-a mother]} ouvrier . " [I]_{196-m. paul} noted , too - as captives in [dungeons]_{7904-dungeons} find sometimes dreary leisure to note the merest trifles - that [this man]_{4628-this man} wore shoes , and not sabots : [I]_{196-m. paul} concluded that it must be [the master - carpenter]_{7906-the master - carpenter} , coming to inspect before [he]_{7906-the master - carpenter} sent [[his]_{7906-the master - carpenter} journeymen]_{7907-his journeymen} . [I]_{196-m. paul} threw round [me]_{196-m. paul} [my]_{196-m. paul} scarf . [He]_{4628-this man} advanced ; [he]_{4628-this man} opened the door ; [my]_{196-m. paul} back was towards [it]_7908-it ; [I]_{196-m. paul} felt a little thrill - a curious sensation , too quick and transient to be analyzed . [I]_{196-m. paul} turned , [I]_{196-m. paul} stood in [the supposed master - artisan]_{7909-the supposed master - artisan} 's presence : looking towards the door - way , [I]_{196-m. paul} saw [it]_7908-it filled with [a figure]_{7910-a figure} , and [my]_{196-m. paul} eyes printed upon [my]_{196-m. paul} brain the picture of [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . Hundreds of the prayers with which [we]_7911-we weary [Heaven]_188-heaven bring to the suppliant no fulfilment . Once haply in life , one golden gift falls prone in the lap - one boon full and bright , perfect from [Fruition]_488-fruition 's mint . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} wore the dress in which [he]_{4628-this man} probably purposed to travel - a surtout , guarded with velvet ; [I]_{196-m. paul} thought [him]_{4628-this man} prepared for instant departure , and yet [I]_{196-m. paul} had understood that two days were yet to run before [the ship]_{766-the ship} sailed . [He]_{4628-this man} looked well and cheerful . [He]_{4628-this man} looked kind and benign : [he]_{4628-this man} came in with eagerness ; [he]_{4628-this man} was close to [me]_{196-m. paul} in one second ; [he]_{4628-this man} was all amity . It might be [[his]_{4628-this man} bridegroom]_{7913-his bridegroom} mood which thus brightened [him]_{4628-this man} . Whatever the cause , [I]_{196-m. paul} could not meet [his]_{4628-this man} sunshine with cloud . If this were [my]_{196-m. paul} last moment with [him]_{4628-this man} , [I]_{196-m. paul} would not waste it in forced , unnatural distance . [I]_{196-m. paul} loved [him]_{4628-this man} well - too well not to smite out of [my]_{196-m. paul} path even Jealousy [herself]_7914-herself , when [she]_7914-herself would have obstructed a kind farewell . A cordial word from [his]_{4628-this man} lips , or a gentle look from [his]_{4628-this man} eyes , would do [me]_{196-m. paul} good , for all the span of life that remained to [me]_{196-m. paul} ; it would be comfort in the last strait of loneliness ; [I]_{196-m. paul} would take it - [I]_{196-m. paul} would taste the elixir , and pride should not spill the cup . The interview would be short , of course : [he]_{4628-this man} would say to [me]_{196-m. paul} just what [he]_{4628-this man} had said to [each of [the assembled pupils]_{7916-the assembled pupils}]_{7915-each of the assembled pupils} ; [he]_{4628-this man} would take and hold [my]_{196-m. paul} hand two minutes ; [he]_{4628-this man} would touch [my]_{196-m. paul} cheek with [his]_{4628-this man} lips for the first , last , only time - and then - no more . Then , indeed , the final parting , then the wide separation , the great gulf [I]_{196-m. paul} could not pass to go to [him]_{4628-this man} - across which , haply , [he]_{4628-this man} would not glance , to remember [me]_{196-m. paul} . [He]_{4628-this man} took [my]_{196-m. paul} hand in one of [his]_{4628-this man} , with the other [he]_{4628-this man} put back [my]_{196-m. paul} bonnet ; [he]_{4628-this man} looked into [my]_{196-m. paul} face , [his]_{4628-this man} luminous smile went out , [his]_{4628-this man} lips expressed something almost like the wordless language of a mother who finds [a child greatly and unexpectedly changed , broken with illness , or worn out by want]_{7917-a child greatly and unexpectedly changed , broken with illness , or worn out by want} . A check supervened . "_{[196-m. paul]} [Paul]_{196-m. paul} , [Paul]_{196-m. paul} ! " said [a woman]_{4363-a woman} 's hurried voice behind , "_{[196-m. paul]} [Paul]_{196-m. paul} , come into [the salon]_{1040-the salon} ; [I]_0-i have yet a great many things to say to [you]_{196-m. paul} - conversation for the whole day - and so has [Victor]_{324-m. victor kint} ; and [Josef]_{306-m. emanuel} is here . Come [Paul]_{196-m. paul} , come to [[your]_{196-m. paul} friends]_{3167-your friends} . " [Madame Beck]_190-madame , brought to the spot by vigilance or an inscrutable instinct , pressed so near , [she]_190-madame almost thrust [herself]_190-madame between [me]_{196-m. paul} and [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} . "_{[196-m. paul]} Come , [Paul]_{196-m. paul} ! " [she]_190-madame reiterated , [her]_190-madame eye grazing [me]_{196-m. paul} with its hard ray like a steel stylet . [She]_190-madame pushed against [[her]_190-madame kinsman]_{2823-her kinsman} . [I]_{196-m. paul} thought [he]_{2823-her kinsman} receded ; [I]_{196-m. paul} thought [he]_{2823-her kinsman} would go . [Pierced]_489-pierced deeper than [I]_{196-m. paul} could endure , made now to feel what defied suppression , [I]_{196-m. paul} cried - "_{[196-m. paul]} [My]_0-i heart will break ! " What [I]_{196-m. paul} felt seemed literal heart - break ; but the seal of another fountain yielded under the strain : one breath from [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , the whisper , "_{[196-m. paul]} Trust [me]_0-i ! " lifted a load , opened an outlet . With many a deep sob , with thrilling , with icy shiver , with strong trembling , and yet with relief - [I]_{196-m. paul} wept . "_{[196-m. paul]} Leave [her]_4080-her to [me]_0-i ; it is a crisis : [I]_0-i will give [her]_4080-her a cordial , and it will pass , " said the calm [Madame Beck]_190-madame . To be left to [her]_4080-her and [her]_4080-her cordial seemed to [me]_0-i something like being left to [the poisoner]_{7920-the poisoner} and [her]_4080-her bowl . When [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} answered deeply , harshly , and briefly - "_[0-i] Laissez - moi ! " in the grim sound [I]_0-i felt a music strange , strong , but life - giving . "_[0-i] Laissez - moi ! " [he]_{289-pere silas} repeated , [his]_{289-pere silas} nostrils opening , and [his]_{289-pere silas} facial muscles all quivering as [he]_{289-pere silas} spoke . "_[0-i] But this will never do , " said [Madame]_190-madame , with sternness . More sternly rejoined [[her]_190-madame kinsman]_{2823-her kinsman} - "_[0-i] Sortez d'ici ! " "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will send for [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} : on the spot [I]_0-i will send for [him]_{289-pere silas} , " [she]_190-madame threatened pertinaciously . "_[490-femme] [Femme]_490-femme ! " cried [the Professor]_{2055-the professor} , not now in [his]_{2055-the professor} deep tones , but in [his]_{2055-the professor} highest and most excited key , "_[490-femme] [Femme]_490-femme ! sortez a l'instant ! " [He]_{2055-the professor} was roused , and [I]_490-femme loved [him]_{2055-the professor} in [his]_{2055-the professor} wrath with a passion beyond what [I]_490-femme had yet felt . "_[490-femme] What [you]_4081-you do is wrong , " pursued [Madame]_190-madame ; "_[490-femme] it is an act characteristic of men of [your]_4081-you unreliable , imaginative temperament ; a step impulsive , injudicious , inconsistent - a proceeding vexatious , and not estimable in the view of [persons of steadier and more resolute character]_{4082-persons of steadier and more resolute character} . " "_[4081-you] [You]_4081-you know not what [I]_0-i have of steady and resolute in [me]_0-i , " said [he]_0-i , "_[0-i] but [you]_4081-you shall see ; the event shall teach [you]_4081-you . Modeste , " [he]_0-i continued less fiercely , "_[4081-you] be gentle , be pitying , be [a woman]_{4363-a woman} ; look at this poor face , and relent . [You]_4081-you know [I]_0-i am [[your]_4081-you friend]_{5751-your friend} , and [the friend of [[your]_4081-you friends]_{3167-your friends}]_{4085-the friend of your friends} ; in spite of [your]_4081-you taunts , [you]_4081-you well and deeply know [I]_0-i may be trusted . Of sacrificing [myself]_0-i [I]_0-i made no difficulty but [my]_0-i heart is pained by what [I]_0-i see ; it must have and give solace . Leave [me]_0-i ! " This time , in the "_[0-i] leave [me]_0-i " there was an intonation so bitter and so imperative , [I]_0-i wondered that even [Madame Beck]_190-madame [herself]_190-madame could for one moment delay obedience ; but [she]_190-madame stood firm ; [she]_190-madame gazed upon [him]_0-i dauntless ; [she]_190-madame met [his]_0-i eye , forbidding and fixed as stone . [She]_190-madame was opening [her]_190-madame lips to retort ; [I]_0-i saw over all M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's face a quick rising light and fire ; [I]_0-i can hardly tell how [he]_0-i managed the movement ; it did not seem violent ; it kept the form of courtesy ; [he]_0-i gave [his]_0-i hand ; it scarce touched [her]_190-madame [I]_0-i thought ; [she]_190-madame ran , [she]_190-madame whirled from [the room]_{600-the room} ; [she]_190-madame was gone , and the door shut , in one second . The flash of passion was all over very soon . [He]_0-i smiled as [he]_0-i told [me]_0-i to wipe [my]_0-i eyes ; [he]_0-i waited quietly till [I]_0-i was calm , dropping from time to time a stilling , solacing word . Ere long [I]_0-i sat beside [him]_0-i once more [myself]_0-i - re - assured , not desperate , nor yet desolate ; not friendless , not hopeless , not sick of life , and seeking death . "_[0-i] It made [you]_4087-you very sad then to lose [[your]_4087-you friend]_{5751-your friend} ? " said [he]_0-i . "_[0-i] It kills [me]_0-i to be forgotten , [Monsieur]_{4089-monsieur} , " [I]_{4089-monsieur} said . "_{[4089-monsieur]} All these weary days [I]_0-i have not heard from [you]_{4089-monsieur} one word , and [I]_0-i was crushed with the possibility , growing to certainty , that [you]_{4089-monsieur} would depart without saying farewell ! " "_[0-i] Must [I]_0-i tell [you]_{4089-monsieur} what [I]_0-i told [Modeste Beck]_{204-modeste maria beck} - that [you]_{4089-monsieur} do not know [me]_0-i ? Must [I]_0-i show and teach [you]_{4089-monsieur} [my]_0-i character ? [You]_{4089-monsieur} will have proof that [I]_0-i can be [a firm friend]_{4090-a firm friend} ? Without clear proof this hand will not lie still in [mine]_0-i , it will not trust [my]_0-i shoulder as a safe stay ? Good . The proof is ready . [I]_0-i come to justify [myself]_0-i . " "_[0-i] Say anything , teach anything , prove anything , [Monsieur]_{4091-monsieur} ; [I]_0-i can listen now . " "_{[4091-monsieur]} Then , in the first place , [you]_{4089-monsieur} must go out with [me]_0-i a good distance into [the town]_{1306-the town} . [I]_0-i came on purpose to fetch [you]_{4089-monsieur} . " Without questioning [his]_{4091-monsieur} meaning , or sounding [his]_{4091-monsieur} plan , or offering the semblance of an objection , [I]_0-i re - tied [my]_0-i bonnet : [I]_0-i was ready . The route [he]_{4091-monsieur} took was by [the boulevards]_{5051-the boulevards} : [he]_{4091-monsieur} several times made [me]_0-i sit down on the seats stationed under the lime - trees ; [he]_{4091-monsieur} did not ask if [I]_0-i was tired , but looked , and drew [his]_{4091-monsieur} own conclusions . "_[0-i] All these weary days , " said [he]_{4091-monsieur} , repeating [my]_0-i words , with a gentle , kindly mimicry of [my]_0-i voice and foreign accent , not new from [his]_{4091-monsieur} lips , and of which the playful banter never wounded , not even when coupled , as it often was , with the assertion , that however [I]_0-i might write [his]_{4091-monsieur} language , [I]_0-i spoke and always should speak it imperfectly and hesitatingly . "_[0-i] ' All these weary days ' [I]_0-i have not for one hour forgotten [you]_4093-you . [Faithful women]_{4094-faithful women} err in this , that [they]_{4094-faithful women} think [themselves]_{4094-faithful women} [the sole faithful of [God]_164-god 's creatures]_{4095-the sole faithful of god 's creatures} . On a very fervent and living truth to [myself]_0-i , [I]_0-i , too , till lately scarce dared count , from any quarter ; but - - look at [me]_0-i . " , [I]_{491-constancy} lifted [my]_{491-constancy} happy eyes : [they]_7925-they were happy now , or [they]_7925-they would have been [no interpreters of [my]_{491-constancy} heart]_{7926-no interpreters of my heart} . "_{[491-constancy]} Well , " said [he]_{4096-monsieur} , after some seconds ' scrutiny , "_{[491-constancy]} there is no denying that signature : [Constancy]_{491-constancy} wrote it : [her]_{491-constancy} pen is of iron . Was the record painful ? " "_[0-i] Severely painful , " [I]_0-i said , with truth . "_[0-i] Withdraw [her]_{491-constancy} hand , [Monsieur]_{4096-monsieur} ; [I]_0-i can bear its inscribing force no more . " "_{[4096-monsieur]} Elle est toute pale , " said [he]_{4096-monsieur} , speaking to [himself]_{4096-monsieur} ; "_{[4096-monsieur]} cette figure - la [me]_0-i fait mal . " "_[0-i] Ah ! [I]_0-i am not pleasant to look at - - ? " [I]_0-i could not help saying this ; the words came unbidden : [I]_0-i never remember the time when [I]_0-i had not a haunting dread of what might be the degree of [my]_0-i outward deficiency ; this dread pressed [me]_0-i at the moment with special force . A great softness passed upon [his]_{4096-monsieur} countenance ; [his]_{4096-monsieur} violet eyes grew suffused and glistening under [their]_7927-their deep Spanish lashes : [he]_{4096-monsieur} started up ; "_[0-i] Let [us]_4097-us walk on . " "_[0-i] Do [I]_0-i displease [your]_{4096-monsieur} eyes much ? " [I]_0-i took courage to urge : the point had its vital import for [me]_0-i . [He]_{4096-monsieur} stopped , and gave [me]_0-i a short , strong answer ; an answer which silenced , subdued , yet profoundly satisfied . Ever after that [I]_0-i knew what [I]_0-i was for [him]_{4096-monsieur} ; and what [I]_0-i might be for the rest of [the world]_{811-the world} , [I]_0-i ceased painfully to care . Was it weak to lay so much stress on an opinion about appearance ? [I]_0-i fear it might be ; [I]_0-i fear it was ; but in that case [I]_0-i must avow no light share of weakness . [I]_0-i must own great fear of displeasing - a strong wish moderately to please [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . Whither [we]_4097-us rambled , [I]_0-i scarce knew . [Our]_4097-us walk was long , yet seemed short ; the path was pleasant , the day lovely . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} talked of [his]_{4096-monsieur} voyage - [he]_{4096-monsieur} thought of staying away three years . On [his]_{4096-monsieur} return from [Guadaloupe]_{113-guadaloupe} , [he]_{4096-monsieur} looked forward to release from liabilities and a clear course ; and what did [I]_0-i purpose doing in the interval of [his]_{4096-monsieur} absence ? [he]_{4096-monsieur} asked . [I]_0-i had talked once , [he]_{4096-monsieur} reminded [me]_0-i , of trying to be independent and keeping a little school of [my]_0-i own : had [I]_0-i dropped the idea ? "_[0-i] Indeed , [I]_0-i had not : [I]_0-i was doing [my]_0-i best to save what would enable [me]_0-i to put it in practice . " "_[4098-he] [He]_4098-he did not like leaving [me]_0-i in [the Rue Fossette]_{4917-the rue fossette} ; [he]_4098-he feared [I]_0-i should miss [him]_4098-he there too much - [I]_0-i should feel desolate - [I]_0-i should grow sad - ? " This was certain ; but [I]_4098-he promised to do [my]_4098-he best to endure . "_[4098-he] Still , " said [he]_0-i , speaking low , "_[4098-he] there is another objection to [[your]_0-i present residence]_{4100-your present residence} . [I]_0-i should wish to write to [you]_0-i sometimes : it would not be well to have any uncertainty about the safe transmission of letters ; and in [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} - in short , [our]_4101-we Catholic discipline in certain matters - though justifiable and expedient - might possibly , under peculiar circumstances , become liable to misapplication - perhaps abuse . " "_{[4103-twenty directresses]} But if [you]_0-i write , " said [I]_0-i , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i must have [your]_0-i letters ; and [I]_0-i will have them : [ten directors]_{4102-ten directors} , [twenty directresses]_{4103-twenty directresses} , shall not keep them from [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i am [a Protestant]_{928-a protestant} : [I]_0-i will not bear that kind of discipline : [Monsieur]_{4105-monsieur} , [I]_0-i will not . " "_{[4105-monsieur]} Doucement - doucement , " rejoined [he]_0-i ; "_{[4105-monsieur]} [we]_4101-we will contrive a plan ; [we]_4101-we have [our]_4101-we resources : soyez tranquille . " So speaking , [he]_0-i paused . [We]_4101-we were now returning from the long walk . [We]_4101-we had reached [the middle of [a clean Faubourg]_{7930-a clean faubourg}]_{7929-the middle of a clean faubourg} , where [the houses]_{3524-the houses} were small , but looked pleasant . [It]_7932-it was before the white door - step of [a very neat abode that [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} had halted]_{7933-a very neat abode that m. paul had halted} . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i call [here]_4212-here , " said [he]_0-i . [He]_0-i did not knock , but taking from [his]_0-i pocket a key , [he]_0-i opened and entered at once . Ushering [me]_0-i in , [he]_0-i shut the door behind [us]_4101-we . [No servant]_{3623-no servant} appeared . [The vestibule]_{1004-the vestibule} was small , like [the house]_{518-the house} , but freshly and tastefully painted ; [its]_{1004-the vestibule} vista closed in a French window with vines trained about the panes , tendrils , and green leaves kissing the glass . Silence reigned in [this dwelling]_{7937-this dwelling} . Opening an inner door , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} disclosed [a parlour]_{7938-a parlour} , or [salon]_7939-salon - very tiny , but [I]_0-i thought , very pretty . [Its]_{7938-a parlour} delicate walls were tinged like a blush ; [its]_{7938-a parlour} floor was waxed ; a square of brilliant carpet covered [its]_{7938-a parlour} centre ; [its]_{7938-a parlour} small round table shone like the mirror over [its]_{7938-a parlour} hearth ; there was a little couch , a little chiffonniere , the half - open , crimson - silk door of which , showed porcelain on the shelves ; there was a French clock , a lamp ; there were ornaments in biscuit china ; the recess of the single ample window was filled with a green stand , bearing three green flower - pots , each filled with a fine plant glowing in bloom ; in one corner appeared a gueridon with a marble top , and upon [it]_{7938-a parlour} a work - box , and a glass filled with violets in water . The lattice of [this room]_{740-this room} was open ; the outer air breathing through , gave freshness , the sweet violets lent fragrance . "_[0-i] Pretty , pretty place ! " said I. M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} smiled to see [me]_0-i so pleased . "_[0-i] Must [we]_4107-we sit down here and wait ? " [I]_4107-we asked in a whisper , half awed by the deep pervading hush . "_[4107-we] [We]_4107-we will first peep into [one or two other nooks of this nutshell]_{4108-one or two other nooks of this nutshell} , " [he]_{196-m. paul} replied . "_[4107-we] Dare [you]_4109-i take the freedom of going all over [the house]_{518-the house} ? " [I]_4109-i inquired . "_[4109-i] Yes , [I]_0-i dare , " said [he]_{196-m. paul} , quietly . [He]_{196-m. paul} led the way . [I]_4109-i was shown [a little kitchen]_{7941-a little kitchen} with a little stove and oven , with few but bright brasses , two chairs and a table . A small cupboard held a diminutive but commodious set of earthenware . "_[4109-i] There is a coffee service of china in [the salon]_{1040-the salon} , " said [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , as [I]_4109-i looked at the six green and white dinner - plates ; the four dishes , the cups and jugs to match . Conducted up [the narrow but clean staircase]_{7942-the narrow but clean staircase} , [I]_4109-i was permitted a glimpse of two pretty cabinets of [sleeping - rooms]_{7943-sleeping - rooms} ; finally , [I]_4109-i was once more led below , and [we]_4107-we halted with a certain ceremony before a larger door than had yet been opened . Producing a second key , [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} adjusted it to the lock of this door . [He]_{196-m. paul} opened , put [me]_4109-i in before [him]_{196-m. paul} . "_[4109-i] Voici ! " [he]_{196-m. paul} cried . [I]_4109-i found [myself]_4109-i in [a good - sized apartment]_{7944-a good - sized apartment} , scrupulously clean , though bare , compared with those [I]_4109-i had hitherto seen . The well - scoured boards were carpetless ; [it]_{7944-a good - sized apartment} contained two rows of green benches and desks , with an alley down the centre , terminating in an estrade , a [teacher]_2435-teacher 's chair and table ; behind them a tableau , On the walls hung two maps ; in the windows flowered a few hardy plants ; in short , here was a miniature classe - complete , neat , pleasant . "_[4109-i] It is [a school]_{939-a school} then ? " said [I.]_4109-i "_[4109-i] Who keeps [it]_{939-a school} ? [I]_0-i never heard of [an establishment in [this faubourg]_{4114-this faubourg}]_{4113-an establishment in this faubourg} . " "_[0-i] Will [you]_4115-his have the goodness to accept of a few prospectuses for distribution in behalf of [a friend of mine]_{4116-a friend of mine} ? " asked [he]_{196-m. paul} , taking from [his]_{196-m. paul} surtout - pocket some quires of these documents , and putting them into [my]_4115-his hand . [I]_4115-his looked , [I]_4115-his read - printed in fair characters : - "_[4115-his] Externat de demoiselles . Numero 7 , [Faubourg]_124-faubourg Clotilde , Directrice , [Mademoiselle Lucy Snowe]_333-lucy . " And what did [I]_4115-his say to [M. Paul Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} ? Certain junctures of [our]_7946-our lives must always be difficult of recall to memory . Certain points , crises , certain feelings , joys , griefs , and amazements , when reviewed , must strike [us]_7946-our as things wildered and whirling , dim as a wheel fast spun . [I]_4115-his can no more remember the thoughts or the words of the ten minutes succeeding this disclosure , than [I]_4115-his can retrace the experience of [my]_4115-his earliest year of life : and yet the first thing distinct to [me]_4115-his is the consciousness that [I]_4115-his was speaking very fast , repeating over and over again : - "_[4115-his] Did [you]_4115-his do this , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ? Is this [[your]_4115-his house]_{4117-your house} ? Did [you]_4115-his furnish it ? Did [you]_4115-his get these papers printed ? Do [you]_4115-his mean [me]_0-i ? Am [I]_0-i [the directress]_{4887-the directress} ? Is there another [Lucy Snowe]_333-lucy ? Tell [me]_0-i : say something . " But [he]_4115-his would not speak . [His]_4115-his pleased silence , [his]_4115-his laughing down - look , [his]_4115-his attitude , are visible to [me]_0-i now . "_[0-i] How is it ? [I]_0-i must know all - all , " [I]_0-i cried . The packet of papers fell on the floor . [He]_4115-his had extended [his]_4115-his hand , and [I]_0-i had fastened thereon , oblivious of all else . "_[0-i] Ah ! [you]_0-i said [I]_0-i had forgotten [you]_0-i all these weary days , " said [he]_4115-his . "_[0-i] [Poor old Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} ! These are the thanks [he]_{196-m. paul} gets for trudging about three mortal weeks from [house - painter]_{4119-house - painter} to upholsterer , from [cabinet- maker]_{4120-cabinet- maker} to [charwoman]_{4121-charwoman} . [Lucy]_333-lucy and [Lucy]_333-lucy 's cot , the sole thoughts in [his]_{196-m. paul} head ! " [I]_333-lucy hardly knew what to do . [I]_333-lucy first caressed the soft velvet on [his]_4115-his cuff , and then . [I]_333-lucy stroked the hand it surrounded . It was [his]_4115-his foresight , [his]_4115-his goodness , [his]_4115-his silent , strong , effective goodness , that overpowered [me]_333-lucy by [their]_7947-their proved reality . It was the assurance of [his]_4115-his sleepless interest which broke on [me]_333-lucy like a light from heaven ; it was [his]_4115-his - [I]_333-lucy will dare to say it - [his]_4115-his fond , tender look , which now shook [me]_333-lucy indescribably . In the midst of all [I]_333-lucy forced [myself]_333-lucy to look at the practical . "_[333-lucy] The trouble ! " [I]_333-lucy cried , "_[333-lucy] and the cost ! Had [you]_{196-m. paul} money , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ? " "_{[196-m. paul]} Plenty of money ! " said [he]_4115-his heartily . "_{[196-m. paul]} The disposal of [my]_0-i large teaching connection put [me]_0-i in possession of a handsome sum with part of it [I]_0-i determined to give [myself]_0-i the richest treat that [I]_0-i have known or shall know . [I]_0-i like this . [I]_0-i have reckoned on this hour day and night lately . [I]_0-i would not come near [you]_{196-m. paul} , because [I]_0-i would not forestall it . Reserve is neither [my]_0-i virtue nor [my]_0-i vice . If [I]_0-i had put [myself]_0-i into [your]_{196-m. paul} power , and [you]_{196-m. paul} had begun with [your]_{196-m. paul} questions of look and lip - Where have [you]_{196-m. paul} been , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} ? What have [you]_{196-m. paul} been doing ? What is [your]_{196-m. paul} mystery ? - [my]_0-i solitary first and last secret would presently have unravelled itself in [your]_{196-m. paul} lap . Now , " [he]_0-i pursued , "_{[196-m. paul]} [you]_{196-m. paul} shall live [here]_4212-here and have [a school]_{939-a school} ; [you]_{196-m. paul} shall employ [yourself]_{196-m. paul} while [I]_0-i am away ; [you]_{196-m. paul} shall think of [me]_0-i sometimes ; [you]_{196-m. paul} shall mind [your]_{196-m. paul} health and happiness for [my]_0-i sake , and when [I]_0-i come back - " There [he]_0-i left a blank . [I]_0-i promised to do all [he]_0-i told [me]_0-i . [I]_0-i promised to work hard and willingly . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i will be [[your]_{196-m. paul} faithful steward]_{4124-your faithful steward} , " [I]_0-i said ; "_[0-i] [I]_0-i trust at [your]_{196-m. paul} coming the account will be ready . [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [you]_{196-m. paul} are too good ! " In such inadequate language [my]_{1465-monsieur} feelings struggled for expression : [they]_7948-they could not get it ; speech , brittle and unmalleable , and cold as ice , dissolved or shivered in the effort . [He]_0-i watched [me]_{1465-monsieur} , still ; [he]_0-i gently raised [his]_0-i hand to stroke [my]_{1465-monsieur} hair ; it touched [my]_{1465-monsieur} lips in passing ; [I]_{1465-monsieur} pressed it close , [I]_{1465-monsieur} paid it tribute . [He]_0-i was [[my]_{1465-monsieur} king]_{7949-my king} ; royal for [me]_{1465-monsieur} had been that hand 's bounty ; to offer homage was both a joy and a duty . The afternoon hours were over , and the stiller time of evening shaded the quiet faubourg . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} claimed [my]_{1465-monsieur} hospitality ; occupied and afoot since morning , [he]_0-i needed refreshment ; [he]_0-i said [I]_{1465-monsieur} should offer [him]_0-i chocolate in [my]_{1465-monsieur} pretty gold and white china service . [He]_0-i went out and ordered what was needful from [the restaurant]_{7950-the restaurant} ; [he]_0-i placed the small gueridon and two chairs in [the balcony]_{521-the balcony} outside the French window under the screening vines . With what shy joy [i]_{1465-monsieur} accepted [my]_{1465-monsieur} part as [hostess]_7952-hostess , arranged the salver , served [the benefactor - guest]_{7953-the benefactor - guest} . [This balcony]_{7954-this balcony} was in [the rear of [the house]_{518-the house}]_{7955-the rear of the house} , [the gardens of [the faubourg]_{7958-the faubourg}]_{7957-the gardens of the faubourg} were round [us]_7959-us , fields extended beyond . The air was still , mild , and fresh . Above the poplars , the laurels , the cypresses , and the roses , looked up a moon so lovely and so halcyon , the heart trembled under [her]_7960-her smile ; a star shone subject beside [her]_7960-her , with the unemulous ray of pure love . In [a large garden near [us]_7959-us]_{7961-a large garden near us} , a jet rose from a well , and a pale statue leaned over the play of waters . [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} talked to [me]_{1465-monsieur} . [His]_0-i voice was so modulated that it mixed harmonious with the silver whisper , the gush , the musical sigh , in which light breeze , fountain and foliage intoned their lulling vesper : Happy hour - stay one moment ! droop those plumes , rest those wings ; incline to mine [that brow of [Heaven]_188-heaven]_{7962-that brow of heaven} ! [White Angel]_{492-white angel} ! let [thy]_{492-white angel} light linger ; leave its reflection on succeeding clouds ; bequeath its cheer to that time which needs a ray in retrospect ! [Our]_7959-us meal was simple : the chocolate , the rolls , the plate of fresh summer fruit , cherries and strawberries bedded in green leaves formed the whole : but it was what [we]_7959-us both liked better than a feast , and [I]_{1465-monsieur} took a delight inexpressible in tending [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . [I]_{1465-monsieur} asked [him]_0-i whether [[his]_0-i friends]_{706-his friends} , [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} and [Madame Beck]_190-madame , knew what [he]_0-i had done - whether [they]_{706-his friends} had seen [[my]_{1465-monsieur} house]_{1813-my house} ? "_{[1465-monsieur]} Mon amie , " said [he]_0-i , "_{[1465-monsieur]} none knows what [I]_0-i have done save [you]_4127-you and [myself]_0-i : the pleasure is consecrated to [us]_4128-us two , unshared and unprofaned . To speak truth , there has been to [me]_0-i in this matter a refinement of enjoyment [I]_0-i would not make vulgar by communication . Besides " smiling "_[0-i] [I]_0-i wanted to prove to [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy that [I]_0-i could keep a secret . How often has [she]_142-lucy taunted [me]_0-i with lack of dignified reserve and needful caution ! How many times has [she]_142-lucy saucily insinuated that all [my]_0-i affairs are the secret of [Polichinelle]_{493-polichinelle} ! " This was true enough : [I]_142-lucy had not spared [him]_0-i on this point , nor perhaps on any other that was assailable . [Magnificent - minded , grand - hearted , dear , faulty little man]_{7965-magnificent - minded , grand - hearted , dear , faulty little man} ! [You]_4127-you deserved candour , and from [me]_142-lucy always had it . Continuing [my]_142-lucy queries , [I]_142-lucy asked to whom [the house]_{518-the house} belonged , who was [[my]_142-lucy landlord]_{7967-my landlord} , the amount of [my]_142-lucy rent . [He]_0-i instantly gave [me]_142-lucy these particulars in writing ; [he]_0-i had foreseen and prepared all things . [The house]_{518-the house} was not M. [Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's - that [I]_142-lucy guessed : [he]_0-i was hardly [the man to become a proprietor]_{7969-the man to become a proprietor} ; [I]_142-lucy more than suspected in [him]_0-i a lamentable absence of [the saving faculty]_{7970-the saving faculty} ; [he]_0-i could get , but not keep ; [he]_0-i needed [a treasurer]_{7971-a treasurer} . [The tenement]_{7972-the tenement} , then , belonged to [a citizen in [the Basse- Ville]_{5939-the basse- ville}]_{7973-a citizen in the basse- ville} - [a man of substance]_{7975-a man of substance} , [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} said ; [he]_{196-m. paul} startled [me]_142-lucy by adding : "_[142-lucy] [a friend of yours]_{4129-a friend of yours} , [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy , [a person who has a most respectful regard for [you]_142-lucy]_{4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you} . " And , to [my]_142-lucy pleasant surprise , [I]_142-lucy found [the landlord]_{7976-the landlord} was none other than [M. Miret]_{464-m. miret} , [the short - tempered and kind - hearted bookseller , who had so kindly found [me]_142-lucy a seat that eventful night in [the park]_{987-the park}]_{7977-the short - tempered and kind - hearted bookseller , who had so kindly found me a seat that eventful night in the park} . It seems [M. Miret]_{464-m. miret} was , in [his]_{464-m. miret} station , rich , as well as much respected , and possessed [several houses in [this faubourg]_{4114-this faubourg}]_{7979-several houses in this faubourg} ; the rent was moderate , scarce half of what it would have been for [a house of equal size nearer [the centre of [Villette]_3-villette]_{7982-the centre of villette}]_{7981-a house of equal size nearer the centre of villette} . "_[142-lucy] And then , " observed [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} , ' should [fortune]_7983-fortune not favour [you]_142-lucy , though [I]_142-lucy think [she]_7983-fortune will , [I]_142-lucy have the satisfaction to think [you]_142-lucy are in good hands ; [M. Miret]_{464-m. miret} will not be extortionate : the first year 's rent [you]_142-lucy have already in [your]_142-lucy savings ; afterwards [Miss Lucy]_142-lucy must trust [God]_164-god , and [herself]_142-lucy . But now , what will [you]_142-lucy do for [pupils]_4924-pupils ? "_[142-lucy] " [I]_{4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you} must distribute [my]_{4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you} prospectuses . "_{[4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you]} " Right ! By way of losing no time , [I]_142-lucy gave one to [M. Miret]_{464-m. miret} yesterday . Should [you]_142-lucy object to beginning with [three petite bourgeoises]_{7985-three petite bourgeoises} , [the Demoiselles Miret]_{494-the demoiselles miret} ? [They]_{7985-three petite bourgeoises} are at [your]_142-lucy service . "_[142-lucy] " [Monsieur]_{1465-monsieur} , [you]_142-lucy forget nothing ; [you]_142-lucy are wonderful . [Object]_495-object ? It would become [me]_142-lucy indeed to object ! [I]_142-lucy suppose [I]_142-lucy hardly expect at the outset to number [aristocrats]_{7987-aristocrats} in [[my]_142-lucy little day - school]_{7988-my little day - school} ; [I]_142-lucy care not if [they]_{7987-aristocrats} never come . [I]_142-lucy shall be proud to receive [[M. Miret]_{464-m. miret} 's daughters]_{7989-m. miret 's daughters} . "_[142-lucy] " Besides these , "_[4131-he] pursued [he]_4131-he , " [another pupil]_{7990-another pupil} offers , who will come daily to take lessons in English ; and as [she]_{7990-another pupil} is rich , [she]_{7990-another pupil} will pay handsomely . [I]_4131-he mean [[my]_4131-he god]_{3864-my god} - daughter and ward , [Justine Marie Sauveur]_{429-justine marie} . "_[4131-he] What is in a name ? - what in three words ? Till this moment [I]_0-i had listened with living joy - [I]_0-i had answered with gleeful quickness ; a name froze [me]_0-i ; three words struck [me]_0-i mute . The effect could not be hidden , and indeed [I]_0-i scarce tried to hide it . " What now ? "_{[196-m. paul]} said [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} . " Nothing . "_{[196-m. paul]} " Nothing ! [Your]_0-i countenance changes : [your]_0-i colour and [your]_0-i very eyes fade . Nothing ! [You]_0-i must be ill ; [you]_0-i have some suffering ; tell [me]_0-i what . "_[0-i] [I]_0-i had nothing to tell . [He]_{196-m. paul} drew [his]_{196-m. paul} chair nearer . [He]_{196-m. paul} did not grow vexed , though [I]_0-i continued silent and icy . [He]_{196-m. paul} tried to win a word ; [he]_{196-m. paul} entreated with perseverance , [he]_{196-m. paul} waited with patience . " [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} is [a good girl]_{7992-a good girl} , "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} , " docile and amiable ; not quick - but [you]_0-i will like [her]_{429-justine marie} . "_{[196-m. paul]} " [I]_0-i think not . [I]_0-i think [she]_{429-justine marie} must not come [here]_4212-here . "_[0-i] Such was [my]_0-i speech . " Do [you]_0-i wish to puzzle [me]_{196-m. paul} ? Do [you]_0-i know [her]_{429-justine marie} ? But , in truth , there is something . Again [you]_0-i are pale as that statue . Rely on [Paul Carlos]_{496-paul carlos} ; tell [him]_{496-paul carlos} the grief . "_{[196-m. paul]} [His]_{196-m. paul} chair touched [mine]_0-i ; [his]_{196-m. paul} hand , quietly advanced , turned [me]_0-i towards [him]_{196-m. paul} . " Do [you]_0-i know [Marie Justine]_{7994-marie justine} ? "_{[196-m. paul]} said [he]_{196-m. paul} again . The name re - pronounced by [his]_{196-m. paul} lips overcame [me]_0-i unaccountably . It did not prostrate - no , it stirred [me]_0-i up , running with haste and heat through [my]_0-i veins - recalling an hour of quick pain , many days and nights of heart - sickness . Near [me]_0-i as [he]_{196-m. paul} now sat , strongly and closely as [he]_{196-m. paul} had long twined [his]_{196-m. paul} life in [mine]_0-i - far as had progressed , and near as was achieved [our]_4132-our minds ' and affections ' assimilation - the very suggestion of interference , of heart - separation , could be heard only with a fermenting excitement , an impetuous throe , a disdainful resolve , an ire , a resistance of which no human eye or cheek could hide the flame , nor any truth - accustomed human tongue curb the cry . " [I]_0-i want to tell [you]_{196-m. paul} something , "_[0-i] [I]_0-i said : " [I]_0-i want to tell [you]_{196-m. paul} all . "_[0-i] " Speak , [Lucy]_142-lucy ; come near ; speak . Who prizes [you]_{196-m. paul} , if [I]_0-i do not ? Who is [[your]_{196-m. paul} friend]_{5751-your friend} , if not [Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} ? Speak ! "_[0-i] [I]_0-i spoke . All escaped from [my]_0-i lips . [I]_0-i lacked not words now ; fast [I]_0-i narrated ; fluent [I]_0-i told [my]_0-i tale ; it streamed on [my]_0-i tongue . [I]_0-i went back to the night in [the park]_{987-the park} ; [I]_0-i mentioned the medicated draught - why it was given - its goading effect - how it had torn rest from under [my]_0-i head , shaken [me]_0-i from [my]_0-i couch , carried [me]_0-i abroad with the lure of a vivid yet solemn fancy - a summer - night solitude on turf , under trees , near [a deep , cool lakelet]_{4134-a deep , cool lakelet} . [I]_0-i told the scene realized ; [the crowd]_{5310-the crowd} , the masques , the music , the lamps , the splendours , the guns booming afar , the bells sounding on high . All [I]_0-i had encountered [I]_0-i detailed , all [I]_0-i had recognised , heard , and seen ; how [I]_0-i had beheld and watched [himself]_4136-he : how [I]_0-i listened , how much heard , what conjectured ; the whole history , in brief , summoned to [his]_4136-he confidence , rushed thither , truthful , literal , ardent , bitter . Still as [I]_0-i narrated , instead of checking , [he]_4136-he incited [me]_0-i to proceed [he]_4136-he spurred [me]_0-i by the gesture , the smile , the half - word . Before [I]_0-i had half done , [he]_4136-he held both [my]_0-i hands , [he]_4136-he consulted [my]_0-i eyes with a most piercing glance : there was something in [his]_4136-he face which tended neither to calm nor to put [me]_0-i down ; [he]_4136-he forgot [his]_4136-he own doctrine , [he]_4136-he forsook [his]_4136-he own system of repression when [I]_0-i most challenged its exercise . [I]_0-i think [I]_0-i deserved strong reproof ; but when have [we]_4137-we [[our]_4137-we deserts]_{4138-our deserts} ? [I]_0-i merited severity ; [he]_4136-he looked indulgence . To [my]_0-i very self [I]_0-i seemed imperious and unreasonable , for [I]_0-i forbade [Justine Marie]_{429-justine marie} [my]_0-i door and roof ; [he]_4136-he smiled , betraying delight . Warm , jealous , and haughty , [I]_0-i knew not till now that [my]_0-i nature had such a mood : [he]_4136-he gathered [me]_0-i near [his]_4136-he heart . [I]_0-i was full of faults ; [he]_4136-he took [them]_4139-them and [me]_0-i all [home]_542-home . For the moment of utmost mutiny , [he]_4136-he reserved the one deep spell of peace . These words caressed [my]_0-i ear : - " [Lucy]_142-lucy , take [my]_4141-my love . One day share [my]_4141-my life . Be [[my]_4141-my dearest]_{7996-my dearest} , first on [earth]_4454-earth . "_[4141-my] [We]_4141-my walked back to [the Rue Fossette]_{44-the rue fossette} by moonlight - such moonlight as fell on [Eden]_419-eden - shining through the shades of [the Great Garden]_{4142-the great garden} , and haply gilding a path glorious for a step divine - a Presence nameless . Once in [their]_4143-their lives [some men]_{4144-some men} and [women]_4398-women go back to these first fresh days of [[our]_4141-my great Sire]_{4146-our great sire} and [Mother]_4258-mother - taste that grand morning 's dew - bathe in its sunrise . In the course of the walk [I]_0-i was told how [Justine Marie Sauveur]_{429-justine marie} had always been regarded with the affection proper to [a daughter]_{6240-a daughter} - how , with [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} 's consent , [she]_{429-justine marie} had been affianced for months to [one Heinrich Muehler]_{471-heinrich muehler} , [a wealthy young German merchant]_{4149-a wealthy young german merchant} , and was to be married in the course of a year . [Some of [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's relations]_{4150-some of m. emanuel 's relations} and connections would , indeed , it seems , have liked [him]_{471-heinrich muehler} to marry [her]_{429-justine marie} , with a view to securing [her]_{429-justine marie} fortune in [the family]_{7733-the family} ; but to [himself]_{471-heinrich muehler} the scheme was repugnant , and the idea totally inadmissible . [We]_4141-my reached [Madame Beck]_190-madame 's door . [Jean Baptiste]_{240-jean baptiste} 's clock tolled nine . At this hour , in [this house]_{5145-this house} , eighteen months since , had [this man at [my]_0-i side]_{4153-this man at my side} bent before [me]_0-i , looked into [my]_0-i face and eyes , and arbitered [my]_0-i destiny . This very evening [he]_{4153-this man at my side} had again stooped , gazed , and decreed . How different the look - how far otherwise the fate ! [He]_{4153-this man at my side} deemed [me]_0-i born under [his]_{4153-this man at my side} star : [he]_{4153-this man at my side} seemed to have spread over [me]_0-i its beam like a banner . Once - unknown , and unloved , [I]_0-i held [him]_{4153-this man at my side} harsh and strange ; the low stature , the wiry make , the angles , the darkness , the manner , displeased [me]_0-i . Now , penetrated with [his]_{4153-this man at my side} influence , and living by [his]_{4153-this man at my side} affection , having [his]_{4153-this man at my side} worth by intellect , and [his]_{4153-this man at my side} goodness by heart - [I]_0-i preferred [him]_{4153-this man at my side} before all humanity . [We]_4154-we parted : [he]_{4153-this man at my side} gave [me]_0-i [his]_{4153-this man at my side} pledge , and then [his]_{4153-this man at my side} farewell . [We]_4154-we parted : the next day - [he]_{4153-this man at my side} sailed . CHAPTER XLII . [FINIS]_497-finis . [Man]_618-man can not prophesy . Love is no oracle . [Fear]_475-fear sometimes imagines a vain thing . Those years of absence ! How had [I]_0-i sickened over [their]_4156-their anticipation ! The woe [they]_4156-their must bring seemed certain as death . [I]_0-i knew the nature of [their]_4156-their course : [I]_0-i never had doubt how it would harrow as it went . The juggernaut on [[his]_{4153-this man at my side} car]_{4157-his car} towered there a grim load . Seeing [him]_{4153-this man at my side} draw nigh , burying [his]_{4153-this man at my side} broad wheels in the oppressed soil - [I]_0-i , [the prostrate votary]_{4158-the prostrate votary} - felt beforehand [the annihilating craunch]_{4159-the annihilating craunch} . Strange to say - strange , yet true , and owning many parallels in life 's experience - that anticipatory craunch proved all - yes - nearly all the torture . [The great Juggernaut]_{4160-the great juggernaut} , in [[his]_{4160-the great juggernaut} great chariot]_{4161-his great chariot} , drew on lofty , loud , and sullen . [He]_{4160-the great juggernaut} passed quietly , like a shadow sweeping the sky , at noon . Nothing but a chilling dimness was seen or felt . [I]_0-i looked up . [Chariot]_4162-chariot and [demon charioteer]_{4163-demon charioteer} were gone by ; [the votary]_{4164-the votary} still lived . [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} was away three years . Reader , they were the three happiest years of [my]_0-i life . Do [you]_4165-you scout the paradox ? Listen . [I]_0-i commenced [[my]_0-i school]_{4166-my school} ; [I]_0-i worked - [I]_0-i worked hard . [I]_0-i deemed [myself]_0-i [the steward of [[his]_{4160-the great juggernaut} property]_{4168-his property}]_{4167-the steward of his property} , and determined , God willing , to render a good account . [Pupils]_4924-pupils came - [burghers]_{4170-burghers} at first - a higher class ere long . About the middle of the second year an unexpected chance threw into [my]_0-i hands an additional hundred pounds : one day [I]_0-i received from [England]_19-england a letter containing that sum . It came from [Mr. Marchmont]_{498-mr. marchmont} , [the cousin and heir of [[my]_0-i dear and dead mistress]_{4172-my dear and dead mistress}]_{4171-the cousin and heir of my dear and dead mistress} . [He]_{498-mr. marchmont} was just recovering from a dangerous illness ; the money was a peace - offering to [his]_{498-mr. marchmont} conscience , reproaching [him]_{498-mr. marchmont} in the matter of , [I]_0-i know not what , papers or memoranda found after [[his]_{498-mr. marchmont} kinswoman]_{4173-his kinswoman} 's death - naming or recommending [Lucy Snowe]_142-lucy . [Mrs. Barrett]_{167-mrs. barrett} had given [him]_{498-mr. marchmont} [my]_0-i address . How far [his]_{498-mr. marchmont} conscience had been sinned against , [I]_0-i never inquired . [I]_0-i asked no questions , but took the cash and made it useful . With this hundred pounds [I]_0-i ventured to take [the house adjoining [mine]_0-i]_{4174-the house adjoining mine} . [I]_0-i would not leave that which [M. Paul]_{196-m. paul} had chosen , in which [he]_{196-m. paul} had left , and where [he]_{196-m. paul} expected again to find [me]_0-i . [[My]_0-i externat]_{4175-my externat} became [a pensionnat]_{1093-a pensionnat} ; that also prospered . The secret of [my]_0-i success did not lie so much in [myself]_0-i , in any endowment , any power of [mine]_0-i , as in a new state of circumstances , a wonderfully changed life , a relieved heart . The spring which moved [my]_0-i energies lay far away beyond [seas]_6938-seas , in [an Indian isle]_{4178-an indian isle} . At parting , [I]_0-i had been left a legacy ; such a thought for the present , such a hope for the future , such a motive for a persevering , a laborious , [an enterprising]_{4179-an enterprising} , [a patient]_{1888-a patient} and a brave course - [I]_0-i could not flag . Few things shook [me]_0-i now ; few things had importance to vex , intimidate , or depress [me]_0-i : most things pleased - mere trifles had a charm . Do not think that this genial flame sustained itself , or lived wholly on a bequeathed hope or a parting promise . [A generous provider]_{4181-a generous provider} supplied bounteous fuel . [I]_0-i was spared all chill , all stint ; [I]_0-i was not suffered to fear penury ; [I]_0-i was not tried with suspense . By every vessel [he]_4182-he wrote ; [he]_4182-he wrote as [he]_4182-he gave and as [he]_4182-he loved , in full - handed , full - hearted plenitude . [He]_4182-he wrote because [he]_4182-he liked to write ; [he]_4182-he did not abridge , because [he]_4182-he cared not to abridge . [He]_4182-he sat down , [he]_4182-he took pen and paper , because [he]_4182-he loved [Lucy]_142-lucy and had much to say to [her]_142-lucy ; because [he]_4182-he was faithful and thoughtful , because [he]_4182-he was tender and true . There was no sham and no cheat , and no hollow unreal in [him]_4182-he . Apology never dropped [her]_142-lucy slippery oil on [his]_4182-he lips - never proffered , by [his]_4182-he pen , [her]_142-lucy coward feints and paltry nullities : [he]_4182-he would give neither a stone , nor an excuse - neither a scorpion ; nor a disappointment ; [his]_4182-he letters were real food that nourished , living water that refreshed . And was [I]_0-i grateful ? God knows ! [I]_0-i believe that scarce [a living being so remembered , so sustained , dealt with in kind so constant , honourable and noble]_{4183-a living being so remembered , so sustained , dealt with in kind so constant , honourable and noble} , could be otherwise than grateful to the death . Adherent to [his]_4182-he own religion in [him]_4182-he was not the stuff of which is made [the facile apostate]_{4184-the facile apostate} , [he]_4182-he freely left [me]_0-i [my]_0-i pure faith . [He]_4182-he did not tease nor tempt . [He]_4182-he said : - " Remain [a Protestant]_{928-a protestant} . [My]_4182-he little English Puritan , [I]_4182-he love Protestantism in [you]_0-i . [I]_4182-he own its severe charm . There is something in its ritual [I]_4182-he can not receive [myself]_4182-he , but it is the sole creed for ' [Lucy]_142-lucy . ' "_[4182-he] All [Rome]_54-rome could not put into [him]_4182-he bigotry , nor the Propaganda itself make [him]_4182-he [a real Jesuit]_{4185-a real jesuit} . [He]_4182-he was born honest , and not false - artless , and not cunning - [a freeman]_{4186-a freeman} , and not [a slave]_{5763-a slave} . [His]_4182-he tenderness had rendered [him]_4182-he ductile in [a priest]_{5700-a priest} 's hands , [his]_4182-he affection , [his]_4182-he devotedness , [his]_4182-he sincere pious enthusiasm blinded [his]_4182-he kind eyes sometimes , made [him]_4182-he abandon justice to [himself]_4182-he to do the work of craft , and serve the ends of selfishness ; but these are faults so rare to find , so costly to [[their]_4189-their owner]_{4190-their owner} to indulge , [we]_4191-we scarce know whether they will not one day be reckoned amongst the jewels . And now the three years are past : [M. Emanuel]_{196-m. paul} 's return is fixed . It is Autumn ; [he]_4182-he is to be with [me]_0-i ere the mists of November come . [[My]_0-i school]_{4166-my school} flourishes , [[my]_0-i house]_{1813-my house} is ready : [I]_0-i have made [him]_4182-he [a little library]_{4194-a little library} , filled [its]_{4194-a little library} shelves with the books [he]_4182-he left in [my]_0-i care : [I]_0-i have cultivated out of love for [him]_4182-he [I]_0-i was naturally no florist the plants [he]_4182-he preferred , and some of them are yet in bloom . [I]_0-i thought [I]_0-i loved [him]_4182-he when [he]_4182-he went away ; [I]_0-i love [him]_4182-he now in another degree : [he]_4182-he is more [my]_0-i own . The sun passes the equinox ; the days shorten , the leaves grow sere ; but - -he is coming . Frosts appear at night ; [November]_499-november has sent [his]_4182-he fogs in advance ; the wind takes its autumn moan ; but - [he]_4182-he is coming . The skies hang full and dark - a wrack sails from the west ; the clouds cast themselves into strange forms - arches and broad radiations ; there rise resplendent mornings - glorious , royal , purple as monarch in [his]_4182-he state ; the heavens are one flame ; so wild are [they]_4195-they , [they]_4195-they rival battle at its thickest - so bloody , [they]_4195-they shame Victory in [her]_4196-her pride . [I]_0-i know some signs of the sky ; [I]_0-i have noted them ever since childhood . [God]_164-god watch that sail ! Oh ! guard it ! The wind shifts to the west . Peace , peace , [Banshee]_{161-the banshee} - " keening "_{[161-the banshee]} at every window ! It will rise - it will swell - it shrieks out long : wander as [I]_0-i may through [the house]_{518-the house} this night , [I]_0-i can not lull the blast . The advancing hours make it strong : by midnight , [all sleepless watchers]_{4198-all sleepless watchers} hear and fear a wild south - west storm . That storm roared frenzied , for seven days . It did not cease till [the Atlantic]_{126-the atlantic} was strewn with wrecks : it did not lull till the deeps had gorged [their]_4199-their full of sustenance . Not till [the destroying angel of tempest]_{4200-the destroying angel of tempest} had achieved [his]_{4200-the destroying angel of tempest} perfect work , would [he]_{4200-the destroying angel of tempest} fold the wings whose waft was thunder - the tremor of whose plumes was storm . Peace , be still ! Oh ! [a thousand weepers]_{4201-a thousand weepers} , praying in agony on waiting shores , listened for that voice , but it was not uttered - not uttered till ; when the hush came , [some]_5400-some could not feel it : till , when the sun returned , [his]_4182-he light was night to some ! Here pause : pause at once . There is enough said . Trouble no quiet , kind heart ; leave sunny imaginations hope . Let it be theirs to conceive the delight of joy born again fresh out of great terror , the rapture of rescue from peril , the wondrous reprieve from dread , the fruition of return . Let [them]_{4201-a thousand weepers} picture union and a happy succeeding life . [Madame Beck]_190-madame prospered all the days of [her]_190-madame life ; so did [Pere Silas]_{289-pere silas} ; [Madame Walravens]_{424-madame walravens} fulfilled [her]_{424-madame walravens} ninetieth year before [she]_{424-madame walravens} died . Farewell . THE END .