Named characters
6364 [NARRATOR]
2103 Graham (197)/Dr. John (139)/Dr. Bretton (66)/John (12)/Bretton (9)/Graham Bretton (8)/John Graham (6)/John Graham Bretton (3)/Mr. Graham (3)/young Bretton (3)/Dr. Graham Bretton (3)/Dr. (2)/John Bretton (2)/Dr. John Bretton (2)/the feeble Graham (1)/Dr. John Graham Bretton (1)/Mr. Graham Bretton (1)/Dr. Graham (1)/.... Graham (1)
1409 Madame (156)/Madame Beck (141)/Isidore (13)/Beck (2)/MADAME BECK (1)/John (1)/Madame Beck elle - meme (1)/a Madame Beck (1)
1135 M. Paul (131)/M. Emanuel (63)/Paul (17)/M. Paul Emanuel (8)/Emanuel (6)/M. PAUL (2)/arbitrary M. Paul (1)/the inevitable M. Paul (1)/M. (1)/mon Paul (1)/mon cousin Paul (1)/Paul Emanuel (1)/PAUL (1)/Poor old Emanuel (1)
857 Paulina (69)/Polly (61)/Paulina Mary (7)/little Polly (4)/de Bassompierre (2)/Paulina de Bassompierre (2)/PAULINA (1)/Paulina Mary Home de Bassompierre (1)/Home de Bassompierre (1)/Mary de Bassompierre (1)/little Paulina Mary (1)/Mary (1)
728 Ginevra (76)/Miss Fanshawe (55)/Ginevra Fanshawe (19)/Miss Ginevra Fanshawe (4)/aunt Ginevra (2)/Mistress Fanshawe (2)/Miss Ginevra (1)/Fanshawe (1)/a Ginevra (1)/the cruelly exultant Ginevra (1)/the distinguished Miss Fanshawe (1)/Mistress Ginevra Fanshawe (1)/honest Mistress Fanshawe (1)/nee FANSHAWE (1)
534 Lucy (115)/Lucy Snowe (28)/Miss Snowe (22)/Miss Lucy (21)/Mistress Snowe (2)/Miss Lucy Snowe (2)/Snowe (1)
350 Mademoiselle (23)/St. Pierre (11)/Mademoiselle St. Pierre (9)/Zelie St. Pierre (6)/Zelie (6)/the St. Pierre (2)/Mademoiselle Zelie (2)/The St. Pierre (1)/Mademoiselle Zelie St. Pierre (1)/Poor Zelie (1)/poor Zelie (1)
273 Mrs. Bretton (103)/Dr. Bretton (8)/the late Dr. Bretton (1)/Dr. and Mrs. Bretton (1)
142 M. de Bassompierre (36)/de Bassompierre (5)
126 Mr. Home (35)/persisted Mr. Home (1)
125 Rosine (33)/Rosine Matou (1)/Poor Rosine (1)
118 Papa (37)/papa (4)
115 Alfred (12)/de Hamal (7)/Colonel de Hamal (4)/Le Colonel Alfred de Hamal (1)/Le marmot n'a rien (1)/Alfred de Hamal (1)/dear Alfred (1)
103 Lucy (13)/Mademoiselle Lucy (5)/Lucy Snowe (4)/Mademoiselle (1)/LUCY (1)/Mademoiselle Lucy Snowe (1)
101 Justine Marie (19)/Marie (2)/Justine Marie Sauveur (2)/The mild Marie (1)/Sauveur (1)
95 Mrs. Cholmondeley (23)
92 Pere Silas (36)
82 Miss Marchmont (11)/MISS MARCHMONT (1)
73 God (47)/Good God (1)
71 Missy (8)/missy (2)/little Missy Home (1)
69 Polly (5)/Marie Broc (3)/Maria (1)/little Polly (1)/Little Polly (1)
69 Timon (6)
61 Basseterre (2)
54 Mrs. Barrett (6)
54 Desiree (13)/Desiree Beck (3)/the amiable Desiree (1)
50 Madame Walravens (19)/Madame (1)/old Madame Walravens (1)/Walravens (1)/The Walravens (1)
49 Miss Turner (3)
48 Sylvie (12)
42 Frank (12)
40 Georgette (11)/Little Georgette (2)/little Georgette (1)/Little (1)
40 Reason (10)/Human Reason (1)
39 Louisa Bretton (2)/LOUISA BRETTON (1)/Louisa (1)
37 Miss Paulina (1)
37 Mamma (12)/mamma (1)
37 Anglaise (1)/belle Anglaise (1)
34 Harriet (16)
34 Fifine (10)/Fifine Beck (2)
32 Miss de Bassompierre (15)/de Bassompierre (1)
30 M. Emanuel (6)/M. Josef Emanuel (2)/Josef (2)/Josef Emanuel (2)/M. Josef (1)/this Josef Emanuel (1)
30 Monsieur (1)
29 Pensionnat de Demoiselles (1)
29 Mademoiselle (3)/Mademoiselle de Melcy (1)
28 M. Isidore (6)/Isidore (3)
28 Ma Tante (1)
27 Monsieur Paul (2)/Monsieur Emanuel (2)/Monsieur Paul Emanuel (1)
27 Monsieur (1)
27 Monsieur (1)
25 Madame Panache (4)
24 The Vivid " (1)
24 Monsieur (1)
23 Monsieur (1)
23 Monsieur (1)
20 Monsieur (1)
19 Isabelle (5)
18 Fougue (1)
18 Reine du Ciel (1)
17 Professor Emanuel (5)/Professor Paul Emanuel (2)/Paul (1)/Paul Emanuel (1)
17 Ourson (1)
17 Monsieur (1)
16 Goton (11)
16 the Count de Bassompierre (3)/proud Count de Bassompierre (1)/Count de Bassompierre (1)
15 Dr. Pillule (6)/Pillule (1)
15 Ginevra (4)/De Hamal (3)/de Hamal (3)/GINEVRA LAURA DE HAMAL (1)
15 Imagination (2)
15 DEAR OLD TIM (1)
14 Meess Lucie (5)/Meess (3)
13 Monsieur (1)
13 Cleopatra (4)/the Cleopatra (3)/THE CLEOPATRA (1)
13 Human Justice (3)
13 Monsieur (1)
12 Mrs. C. (1)
11 Mrs. Sweeny (8)/Sweeny (1)/the intolerable Mrs. Sweeny (1)
11 Monsieur (1)
11 Mrs. Hurst (3)
11 Monsieur (1)
11 Monsieur (1)
10 Warren (8)
10 Monsieur (1)
10 Monsieur (1)
9 the Watsons (2)/the " Watsons (1)/The Watsons (1)
9 Jean Baptiste (6)/St. Jean Baptiste (2)/Jean (1)
9 Mariee (1)
9 M. de Hamal (2)/de Hamal (1)/M. le Comte de Hamal (1)
9 Freedom (1)
8 CHARLOTTE BRONTE (1)/Charlotte (1)
8 Fate (7)
8 Blanche (4)/Blanche de Melcy (1)
8 Madame (4)/Madame de Hamal (1)/Madame la Comtesse de Hamal (1)
8 Methusaleh (3)
8 Monsieur (1)
8 Monsieur (1)
8 M. Miret (6)/Miret (1)
7 Modeste Maria Beck (2)/Minnie (2)/Polly (1)/Modeste Beck (1)
7 Monsieur (1)
7 Lady Sara (4)
7 Monsieur (1)
7 Monsieur (1)
7 Monsieur (1)
7 Mr. Marchmont (1)
6 Augusta (3)
6 Miss (1)
6 Martha (4)
6 little Georgette Beck (1)/little Georgette (1)
6 Vashti (3)/VASHTI (1)
6 Mademoiselle (2)/Mademoiselle Lucie (1)
6 Protestants (4)
6 Monsieur (1)
6 Constancy (1)
5 Jacob (3)
5 Candace (2)
5 Heaven (5)
5 Angelique (5)
5 Villette (4)
5 Louise Vanderkelkov (1)
5 Wolf (1)
5 Reader (3)
5 Nature (4)
5 Madame Kint (2)/Madame (1)
5 Fraeulein Anna Braun (1)/Anna Braun (1)/the Fraeulein (1)
5 Monsieur (1)
5 Rochemorte (5)
5 Monsieur (1)
5 Lucy (2)/Proud Lucy (1)
5 Heinrich Muehler (2)/one Heinrich Muehler (1)
5 Mrs. John Bretton (1)
4 Joseph (2)/Joseph Emanuel (1)
4 Providence (4)
4 St. Paul (1)/St. Vincent de Paul (1)
4 one Jones (1)/Mr. Jones (1)
4 Mr. Wilson (2)
4 Destiny (3)
4 Nebuchadnezzar (3)
4 Dieu (2)/Dieu merci (1)/grand Dieu (1)
4 Death (3)
4 Bedreddin Hassan (1)
4 the Cholmondeleys (4)
4 M. Victor Kint (2)/Victor Kint (1)/Victor (1)
4 Paul Peter Rubens (1)
4 Monsieur (1)
4 Monsieur (1)
4 Paul Carl (1)/Paul Carl Emanuel (1)/Carl David (1)/Paul Carl David Emanuel (1)
4 Monsieur (1)
4 Rome (4)
4 Apollyon (2)
4 Femme (2)
3 PAUL XXXI (1)/PAUL (1)
3 Miss Home (3)
3 Charles (2)/Master Charles (1)
3 Mr. Davies (1)
3 Liberty (1)
3 Hope (3)
3 the Rue Fossette (3)
3 Trinette (3)
3 Disappointment (2)/That hag Disappointment (1)
3 Sisera (3)
3 Gustave (2)
3 The Parisienne (1)/This Parisienne (1)/the Parisienne (1)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Esau (3)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Schiller (2)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Agnes (2)/Dame Agnes (1)
3 Messieurs Boissec (3)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Miss (1)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Monsieur (1)
3 Monsieur (1)
2 PAULINA III (1)/Paulina (1)
2 Christian (2)
2 Dear little Mousie (1)/Little Mousie (1)
2 the Banshee (1)/Banshee (1)
2 young Mrs. Leigh (1)/Mrs. Leigh (1)
2 godpapa De Bassompierre (1)
2 Madame Svini (1)/Madame (1)
2 Mrs. Svini (2)
2 Virginie (1)/the Paul et Virginie (1)
2 old Crusty - old Diogenes (1)/Diogenes (1)
2 Mother Wisdom (1)/Mother (1)
2 Miss Lucie (2)
2 Brava (2)
2 Jael (2)
2 No Mause Headrigg (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Lucifer (2)
2 Forsooth (1)
2 Ainsi (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Prince of Labassecour (1)/Labassecour (1)
2 Hem (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Mother Bretton (1)
2 John Anderson (1)/John (1)
2 David (1)/Carlos David Emanuel (1)
2 Madame Minerva Gravity (1)
2 Nero (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Scarlet (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Napoleon Bonaparte (1)/Bonaparte (1)
2 Joan of Arc (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 Corneille (2)
2 Petite soeur (1)
2 Monsieur (1)
2 June (2)
2 Rachel (1)
2 Fear (2)
2 one Alfred Fanshawe de Bassompierre de Hamal (1)/Alfred (1)
2 White Angel (1)
2 Paul Carlos (1)
Major entities (proper, common)
FAC
26 the Rue Fossette/Rue Fossette
4 the Hotel Crecy/The Hotel Crecy/THE HOTEL CRECY
3 Numero 10/Numero 2/Numero 3
3 Madame Beck 's pensionnat/Madame Beck/Madame Beck 's
3 La Terrasse
3 the Athenee
2 St. Ann 's Street
2 Bois l'Etang
2 the Rue Crecy
1 THE PORTRESS 'S CABINET XII
63 home/Home
60 the room/The room
43 the garden/The garden
41 the house/The house
38 here/Here
21 the park/The park
18 there
18 the dormitory
17 stairs
17 the Rue Fossette
GPE
42 Villette/VILLETTE
22 England
16 Bretton/BRETTON
13 London/LONDON
12 Europe
11 Rome
9 La Terrasse
7 Labassecour
6 France
5 Guadaloupe
17 the city/The city/the City
13 town
7 the town
6 the country
4 this country
3 there
2 a town
2 The place/the place
2 this faubourg
1 the clean and ancient town of Bretton
LOC
4 Heaven
3 the Continent
3 La Terrasse
3 the Athenee
2 the West End
1 Mount Blanck
1 the Strand
1 The Ocean
1 the Land of Shades
1 Schoenes Maedchen
36 the world/The world
11 this world
7 earth
6 the sea
5 the country
5 Heaven/heaven
3 the whole world
3 the land
2 land
2 the Channel
PER
460 Graham/Dr. John/Dr. Bretton/John/Bretton/Graham Bretton/John Graham/John Graham Bretton/Mr. Graham/young Bretton/Dr. Graham Bretton/Dr./John Bretton/Dr. John Bretton/the feeble Graham/Dr. John Graham Bretton/Mr. Graham Bretton/Dr. Graham/.... Graham
316 Madame/Madame Beck/Isidore/Beck/MADAME BECK/John/Madame Beck elle - meme/a Madame Beck
235 M. Paul/M. Emanuel/Paul/M. Paul Emanuel/Emanuel/M. PAUL/arbitrary M. Paul/the inevitable M. Paul/M./mon Paul/mon cousin Paul/Paul Emanuel/PAUL/Poor old Emanuel
191 Lucy/Lucy Snowe/Miss Snowe/Miss Lucy/Mistress Snowe/Miss Lucy Snowe/Snowe
166 Ginevra/Miss Fanshawe/Ginevra Fanshawe/Miss Ginevra Fanshawe/aunt Ginevra/Mistress Fanshawe/Miss Ginevra/Fanshawe/a Ginevra/the cruelly exultant Ginevra/the distinguished Miss Fanshawe/Mistress Ginevra Fanshawe/honest Mistress Fanshawe/nee FANSHAWE
151 Paulina/Polly/Paulina Mary/little Polly/de Bassompierre/Paulina de Bassompierre/PAULINA/Paulina Mary Home de Bassompierre/Home de Bassompierre/Mary de Bassompierre/little Paulina Mary/Mary
113 Mrs. Bretton/Dr. Bretton/the late Dr. Bretton/Dr. and Mrs. Bretton
63 Mademoiselle/St. Pierre/Mademoiselle St. Pierre/Zelie St. Pierre/Zelie/the St. Pierre/Mademoiselle Zelie/The St. Pierre/Mademoiselle Zelie St. Pierre/Poor Zelie/poor Zelie
48 God/Good God
41 Papa/papa
79 papa
46 one/One
40 his mother/His mother
35 her father/Her father
33 Monsieur/monsieur
31 nobody/Nobody
30 others
29 the pupils
28 my godmother/My godmother
28 the child/The child
ORG
2 the Church/The Church
1 Holy Church
5 the school
2 Holy Church
2 the Church
1 an English school
1 That school
1 the true Church
1 Cheerful society
1 the Catholic religion
1 the principal musical society
1 all the best provincial choral societies
VEH
2 the Antigua
18 the carriage/The carriage
6 the ship
3 the vehicle
3 carriages
3 a carriage
2 the coach
2 the vessel
2 my carriage
1 vessels
1 a coach
Text
VILLETTE . BY [CHARLOTTE BRONTE]127-charlotte bronte . CONTENTS CHAPTER I. [BRETTON]135-graham II . [PAULINA III]128-paulina iii . THE PLAYMATES IV . [MISS MARCHMONT V. TURNING A NEW LEAF VI]500-miss marchmont v. turning a new leaf vi . [LONDON]2-london VII . [VILLETTE]3-villette VIII . [MADAME BECK IX . ISIDORE X. DR . JOHN XI]501-madame beck ix . isidore x. dr . john xi . [THE PORTRESS 'S CABINET XII]4-the portress 's cabinet xii . [THE CASKET XIII . A SNEEZE OUT OF SEASON XIV]502-the casket xiii . a sneeze out of season xiv . [THE FETE XV]5-the fete xv . [THE LONG VACATION XVI]6-the long vacation xvi . [AULD LANG SYNE XVII]7-auld lang syne xvii . [LA TERRASSE XVIII]8-la terrasse xviii . [WE]503-we QUARREL XIX . THE CLEOPATRA XX . [THE CONCERT XXI]9-the concert xxi . REACTION XXII . THE LETTER XXIII . VASHTI XXIV . M. DE BASSOMPIERRE XXV . [THE LITTLE COUNTESS XXVI]504-the little countess xxvi . A BURIAL XXVII . [THE HOTEL CRECY XXVIII]505-the hotel crecy xxviii . THE WATCHGUARD XXIX . [MONSIEUR 'S FETE]10-monsieur 's fete XXX . M. [PAUL XXXI]129-paul xxxi . THE DRYAD XXXII . THE FIRST LETTER XXXIII . M. [PAUL]129-paul xxxi KEEPS [HIS]129-paul xxxi PROMISE XXXIV . MALEVOLA XXXV . FRATERNITY XXXVI . [THE APPLE OF DISCORD XXXVII]11-the apple of discord xxxvii . SUNSHINE XXXVIII . CLOUD XXXIX . [OLD AND NEW ACQUAINTANCE XL]12-old and new acquaintance xl . [THE HAPPY PAIR XLI . FAUBOURG CLOTILDE XLII . FINIS VILLETTE . CHAPTER I. BRETTON]13-the happy pair xli . faubourg clotilde xlii . finis villette . chapter i. bretton . [[My]0-i godmother]506-my godmother lived in [a handsome house in [the clean and ancient town of Bretton]508-the clean and ancient town of bretton]507-a handsome house in the clean and ancient town of bretton . [[[Her]506-my godmother husband]509-her husband 's family]510-her husband 's family had been [residents]511-residents [there]512-there for generations , and bore , indeed , the name of [[their]510-her husband 's family birthplace]513-their birthplace - [Bretton of Bretton]14-bretton of bretton : whether by coincidence , or because [some remote ancestor]514-some remote ancestor had been [a personage]515-a personage of sufficient importance to leave [his]514-some remote ancestor name to [[his]514-some remote ancestor neighbourhood]516-his neighbourhood , [I]0-i know not . When [I]0-i was [a girl]517-a girl [I]0-i went to [Bretton]135-graham about twice a year , and well [I]0-i liked the visit . [The house]518-the house and [[its]518-the house inmates]519-its inmates specially suited [me]0-i . [The large peaceful rooms]520-the large peaceful rooms , the well - arranged furniture , the clear wide windows , [the balcony]521-the balcony outside , looking down on [a fine antique street]522-a fine antique street , where Sundays and holidays seemed always to abide - so quiet was [its]518-the house atmosphere , so clean [its]518-the house pavement - these things pleased [me]0-i well . [One child in a household of [grown people]524-grown people]523-one child in a household of grown people is usually made very much of , and in a quiet way [I]0-i was a good deal taken notice of by [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , who had been left [a widow]525-a widow , with [one son]526-one son , before [I]0-i knew [her]130-mrs. bretton ; [[her]130-mrs. bretton husband]509-her husband , [a physician]528-a physician , having died while [she]130-mrs. bretton was yet [a young and handsome woman]529-a young and handsome woman . [She]130-mrs. bretton was not young , as [I]0-i remember [her]130-mrs. bretton , but [she]130-mrs. bretton was still handsome , tall , well - made , and though dark for [an Englishwoman]530-an englishwoman , yet wearing always the clearness of health in [her]130-mrs. bretton brunette cheek , and its vivacity in a pair of fine , cheerful black eyes . [People]531-people esteemed it a grievous pity that [she]130-mrs. bretton had not conferred [her]130-mrs. bretton complexion on [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son , whose eyes were blue - though , even in boyhood , very piercing - and the colour of [his]532-her son long hair such as [friends]533-friends did not venture to specify , except as the sun shone on it , when [they]533-friends called it golden . [He]532-her son inherited the lines of [[his]532-her son mother]534-his mother 's features , however ; also [her]130-mrs. bretton good teeth , [her]130-mrs. bretton stature or the promise of [her]130-mrs. bretton stature , for [he]532-her son was not yet full- grown , and , what was better , [her]130-mrs. bretton health without flaw , and [her]130-mrs. bretton spirits of that tone and equality which are better than a fortune to [the possessor]535-the possessor . In the autumn of the year - - [I]0-i was staying at [Bretton]135-graham ; [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother having come in person to claim [me]0-i of the kinsfolk with whom was at that time fixed [[my]0-i permanent residence]537-my permanent residence . [I]0-i believe [she]506-my godmother then plainly saw events coming , whose very shadow [I]0-i scarce guessed ; yet of which the faint suspicion sufficed to impart unsettled sadness , and made [me]0-i glad to change scene and society . Time always flowed smoothly for [me]0-i at [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother 's side ; not with tumultuous swiftness , but blandly , like the gliding of a full river through [a plain]539-a plain . [My]0-i visits to [her]130-mrs. bretton resembled the sojourn of [Christian]131-christian and [Hopeful]132-hopeful beside [a certain pleasant stream]540-a certain pleasant stream , with " green trees on each bank , and [meadows beautified with lilies]4203-meadows beautified with lilies all the year round . "[132-hopeful] The charm of variety there was not , nor the excitement of incident ; but [I]0-i liked peace so well , and sought stimulus so little , that when [the latter]541-the latter came [I]0-i almost felt it a disturbance , and wished rather it had still held aloof . One day a letter was received of which the contents evidently caused [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton surprise and some concern . [I]0-i thought at first it was from [home]542-home , and trembled , expecting [I]0-i know not what disastrous communication : to [me]0-i , however , no reference was made , and the cloud seemed to pass . The next day , on [my]0-i return from a long walk , [I]0-i found , as [I]0-i entered [[my]0-i bedroom]543-my bedroom , an unexpected change . In , addition to [my]0-i own French bed in [its]544-its shady recess , appeared in a corner a small crib , draped with white ; and in addition to [my]0-i mahogany chest of drawers , [I]0-i saw a tiny rosewood chest . [I]0-i stood still , gazed , and considered . " Of what are these things the signs and tokens ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . The answer was obvious . " [A second guest]4204-a second guest is coming : [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton expects [other visitors]4205-other visitors . "[0-i] On descending to dinner , explanations ensued . [A little girl]545-a little girl , [I]0-i was told , would shortly be [[my]0-i companion]546-my companion : [the daughter of [a friend and distant relation of [the late Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's]548-a friend and distant relation of the late dr. bretton 's]547-the daughter of a friend and distant relation of the late dr. bretton 's . [This little girl]549-this little girl , it was added , had recently lost [[her]549-this little girl mother]550-her mother ; though , indeed , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ere long subjoined , the loss was not so great as might at first appear . [Mrs. Home]133-mrs. home Home it seems was the name had been a very pretty , but [a giddy , careless woman , who had neglected [[her]130-mrs. bretton child]552-her child , and disappointed and disheartened [[her]130-mrs. bretton husband]509-her husband]551-a giddy , careless woman , who had neglected her child , and disappointed and disheartened her husband . So far from congenial had the union proved , that separation at last ensued - separation by mutual consent , not after any legal process . Soon after this event , [the lady]554-the lady having over - exerted [herself]554-the lady at a ball , caught cold , took a fever , and died after a very brief illness . [[Her]130-mrs. bretton husband]509-her husband , naturally [a man of very sensitive feelings]556-a man of very sensitive feelings , and shocked inexpressibly by too sudden communication of the news , could hardly , it seems , now be persuaded but that some over - severity on [his]509-her husband part - some deficiency in patience and indulgence - had contributed to hasten [her]130-mrs. bretton end . [He]509-her husband had brooded over this idea till [his]509-her husband spirits were seriously affected ; [the medical men]557-the medical men insisted on travelling being tried as a remedy , and meanwhile [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton had offered to take charge of [[his]509-her husband little girl]558-his little girl . " And [I]506-my godmother hope , "[506-my godmother] added [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother in conclusion , " [the child]4206-the child will not be like [[her]4206-the child mamma]4207-her mamma ; as silly and frivolous a little flirt as [ever sensible man]4208-ever sensible man was weak enough to marry . For , "[506-my godmother] said [she]506-my godmother , " [Mr. Home]134-mr. home is [a sensible man]4209-a sensible man in [his]134-mr. home way , though not very practical : [he]134-mr. home is fond of science , and lives half [his]134-mr. home life in a laboratory trying experiments - a thing [[his]134-mr. home butterfly wife]4210-his butterfly wife could neither comprehend nor endure ; and indeed "[506-my godmother] confessed [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother , " [I]506-my godmother should not have liked it [myself]506-my godmother . "[506-my godmother] In answer to a question of [mine]0-i , [she]506-my godmother further informed [me]0-i that [[her]506-my godmother late husband]561-her late husband used to say , [Mr. Home]134-mr. home had derived this scientific turn from [a maternal uncle]562-a maternal uncle , [a French savant]563-a french savant ; for [he]562-a maternal uncle came , it seems ; of mixed French and Scottish origin , and had connections now living in [France]15-france , of whom more than one wrote de before [his]562-a maternal uncle name , and called [himself]562-a maternal uncle noble . That same evening at nine o'clock , [a servant]564-a servant was despatched to meet [the coach]565-the coach by which [[our]566-our little visitor]567-our little visitor was expected . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton and [I]0-i sat alone in [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room waiting [her]130-mrs. bretton coming ; [John Graham Bretton]135-graham being absent on a visit to [one of [[his]135-graham schoolfellows who lived in [the country]571-the country]570-his schoolfellows who lived in the country]569-one of his schoolfellows who lived in the country . [[My]0-i godmother]506-my godmother read the evening paper while [she]506-my godmother waited ; [I]0-i sewed . It was a wet night ; the rain lashed the panes , and the wind sounded angry and restless . " [Poor child]4211-poor child ! "[130-mrs. bretton] said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton from time to time . " What weather for [her]4211-poor child journey ! [I]130-mrs. bretton wish [she]4211-poor child were safe [here]4212-here . "[130-mrs. bretton] A little before ten the door - bell announced [Warren]136-warren 's return . No sooner was the door opened than [I]0-i ran down into [the hall]573-the hall ; there lay a trunk and some band - boxes , beside them stood [a person like [a nurse - girl]575-a nurse - girl]574-a person like a nurse - girl , and at the foot of the staircase was [Warren]136-warren with a shawled bundle in [his]136-warren arms . " Is that [the child]4206-the child ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " Yes , [miss]4214-miss . "[0-i] [I]0-i would have opened the shawl , and tried to get a peep at the face , but it was hastily turned from [me]0-i to [Warren]136-warren 's shoulder . " Put [me]136-warren down , [please]4215-please , "[136-warren] said a small voice when [Warren]136-warren opened the drawing - room door , " and take off this shawl , "[576-the speaker] continued [the speaker]576-the speaker , extracting with its minute hand the pin , and with a sort of fastidious haste doffing the clumsy wrapping . The creature which now appeared made a deft attempt to fold the shawl ; but the drapery was much too heavy and large to be sustained or wielded by those hands and arms . " Give it to [Harriet]137-harriet , please , "[130-mrs. bretton] was then the direction , " and [she]137-harriet can put it away . "[130-mrs. bretton] This said , it turned and fixed its eyes on [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . " Come here , [little dear]4216-little dear , "[577-that lady] said [that lady]577-that lady . " Come and let [me]577-that lady see if [you]4216-little dear are cold and damp : come and let [me]577-that lady warm [you]4216-little dear at the fire . "[577-that lady] [The child]4206-the child advanced promptly . Relieved of [her]4206-the child wrapping , [she]4206-the child appeared exceedingly tiny ; but was a neat , completely - fashioned little figure , light , slight , and straight . Seated on [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother 's ample lap , [she]4206-the child looked [a mere doll]580-a mere doll ; [her]4206-the child neck , delicate as wax , [her]4206-the child head of silky curls , increased , [I]0-i thought , the resemblance . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton talked in little fond phrases as [she]130-mrs. bretton chafed [the child]4206-the child 's hands , arms , and feet ; first [she]130-mrs. bretton was considered with a wistful gaze , but soon a smile answered [her]130-mrs. bretton . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton was not generally [a caressing woman]582-a caressing woman : even with [[her]130-mrs. bretton deeply - cherished son]583-her deeply - cherished son , [her]130-mrs. bretton manner was rarely sentimental , often the reverse ; but when [the small stranger]584-the small stranger smiled at [her]130-mrs. bretton , [she]130-mrs. bretton kissed it , asking , " What is [[my]130-mrs. bretton little one]4217-my little one 's name ? "[130-mrs. bretton] " [Missy]138-missy . "[130-mrs. bretton] " But besides [Missy]138-missy ? "[130-mrs. bretton] " [Polly]139-polly , [papa]4218-papa calls [her]139-polly . "[130-mrs. bretton] " Will [Polly]139-polly be content to live with [me]130-mrs. bretton ? "[130-mrs. bretton] " Not always ; but till [papa]4218-papa comes [home]542-home . [Papa]140-papa is gone away . "[130-mrs. bretton] [She]130-mrs. bretton shook [her]130-mrs. bretton head expressively . " [He]140-papa will return to [Polly]139-polly , or send for [her]139-polly . "[130-mrs. bretton] " Will [he]140-papa , [ma'am]4221-ma'am ? Do [you]4221-ma'am know [he]140-papa will ? "[130-mrs. bretton] " [I]130-mrs. bretton think so . "[130-mrs. bretton] " But [Harriet]137-harriet thinks not : at least not for a long while . [He]140-papa is ill . "[130-mrs. bretton] [Her]130-mrs. bretton eyes filled . [She]130-mrs. bretton drew [her]130-mrs. bretton hand from [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's and made a movement to leave [her]130-mrs. bretton lap ; it was at first resisted , but [she]130-mrs. bretton said - " Please , [I]130-mrs. bretton wish to go : [I]130-mrs. bretton can sit on a stool . "[130-mrs. bretton] [She]130-mrs. bretton was allowed to slip down from the knee , and taking a footstool , [she]130-mrs. bretton carried it to a corner where the shade was deep , and there seated [herself]130-mrs. bretton . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , though a commanding , and in grave matters even [a peremptory woman]585-a peremptory woman , was often passive in trifles : [she]130-mrs. bretton allowed [the child]4206-the child [her]130-mrs. bretton way . [She]130-mrs. bretton said to [me]0-i , " Take no notice at present . "[130-mrs. bretton] But [I]0-i did take notice : [I]0-i watched [Polly]139-polly rest [her]139-polly small elbow on [her]139-polly small knee , [her]139-polly head on [her]139-polly hand ; [I]0-i observed [her]139-polly draw a square inch or two of pocket - handkerchief from the doll - pocket of [her]139-polly doll - skirt , and then [I]0-i heard [her]139-polly weep . [Other children in grief or pain]587-other children in grief or pain cry aloud , without shame or restraint ; but this being wept : the tiniest occasional sniff testified to [her]139-polly emotion . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton did not hear it : which was quite as well . Ere long , a voice , issuing from the corner , demanded - " May the bell be rung for [Harriet]137-harriet ! "[0-i] [I]0-i rang ; [the nurse]588-the nurse was summoned and came . " [Harriet]137-harriet , [I]589-her little mistress must be put to bed , "[589-her little mistress] said [[her]130-mrs. bretton little mistress]589-her little mistress . " [You]137-harriet must ask where [my]589-her little mistress bed is . "[589-her little mistress] [Harriet]137-harriet signified that [she]589-her little mistress had already made that inquiry . " Ask if [you]137-harriet sleep with [me]137-harriet , [Harriet]137-harriet . "[137-harriet] " No , [Missy]138-missy , "[588-the nurse] said [the nurse]588-the nurse : " [you]138-missy are to share [[this young lady]4222-this young lady 's room]4223-this young lady 's room , "[588-the nurse] designating [me]0-i . [Missy]138-missy did not leave [her]138-missy seat , but [I]0-i saw [her]138-missy eyes seek [me]0-i . After some minutes ' silent scrutiny , [she]138-missy emerged from [her]138-missy corner . " [I]138-missy wish [you]0-i , [ma'am]4221-ma'am , good night , "[138-missy] said [she]138-missy to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ; but [she]138-missy passed [me]0-i mute . " Good - night , [Polly]139-polly , "[0-i] [I]0-i said . " No need to say good - night , since [we]592-we sleep in [the same chamber]4225-the same chamber , "[138-missy] was the reply , with which [she]138-missy vanished from [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room . [We]592-we heard [Harriet]137-harriet propose to carry [her]138-missy up - [stairs]593-stairs . " No need , "[138-missy] was again [her]138-missy answer - " no need , no need : "[138-missy] and [her]138-missy small step toiled wearily up the staircase . On going to bed an hour afterwards , [I]0-i found [her]138-missy still wide awake . [She]138-missy had arranged [her]138-missy pillows so as to support [[her]138-missy little person]594-her little person in a sitting posture : [her]138-missy hands , placed one within the other , rested quietly on the sheet , with an old - fashioned calm most unchildlike . [I]0-i abstained from speaking to [her]138-missy for some time , but just before extinguishing the light , [I]0-i recommended [her]138-missy to lie down . " By and by , "[0-i] was the answer . " But [you]138-missy will take cold , [Missy]138-missy . "[138-missy] [She]138-missy took some tiny article of raiment from the chair at [her]138-missy crib side , and with it covered [her]138-missy shoulders . [I]0-i suffered [her]138-missy to do as [she]138-missy pleased . Listening awhile in the darkness , [I]0-i was aware that [she]138-missy still wept , - wept under restraint , quietly and cautiously . On awaking with daylight , a trickling of water caught [my]0-i ear . Behold ! there [she]138-missy was risen and mounted on a stool near [the washstand]595-the washstand , with pains and difficulty inclining the ewer which [she]138-missy could not lift so as to pour its contents into the basin . It was curious to watch [her]138-missy as [she]138-missy washed and dressed , so small , busy , and noiseless . Evidently [she]138-missy was little accustomed to perform [her]138-missy own toilet ; and the buttons , strings , hooks and eyes , offered difficulties which [she]138-missy encountered with a perseverance good to witness . [She]138-missy folded [her]138-missy night - dress , [she]138-missy smoothed the drapery of [her]138-missy couch quite neatly ; withdrawing into a corner , where the sweep of the white curtain concealed [her]138-missy , [she]138-missy became still . [I]0-i half rose , and advanced [my]0-i , head to see how [she]138-missy was occupied . On [her]138-missy knees , with [her]138-missy forehead bent on [her]138-missy hands , [I]0-i perceived that [she]138-missy was praying . [[Her]138-missy nurse]596-her nurse tapped at the door . [She]138-missy started up . " [I]596-her nurse am dressed , [Harriet]137-harriet , "[596-her nurse] said [she]596-her nurse ; " [I]596-her nurse have dressed [myself]596-her nurse , but [I]596-her nurse do not feel neat . Make [me]596-her nurse neat ! "[596-her nurse] " Why did [you]137-harriet dress [yourself]137-harriet , [Missy]138-missy ? "[596-her nurse] " Hush ! speak low , [Harriet]137-harriet , for fear of waking [the girl]4226-the girl "[0-i] meaning [me]0-i , who now lay with [my]0-i eyes shut . " [I]0-i dressed [myself]0-i to learn , against the time [you]137-harriet leave [me]0-i . "[0-i] " Do [you]137-harriet want [me]596-her nurse to go ? "[596-her nurse] " When [you]137-harriet are cross , [I]596-her nurse have many a time wanted [you]137-harriet to go , but not now . Tie [my]596-her nurse sash straight ; make [my]596-her nurse hair smooth , please . "[596-her nurse] " [Your]137-harriet sash is straight enough . What a particular little body [you]137-harriet are ! "[596-her nurse] " It must be tied again . Please to tie it . "[596-her nurse] " There , then . When [I]596-her nurse am gone [you]137-harriet must get [that young lady]4227-that young lady to dress [you]137-harriet . "[596-her nurse] " On no account . "[596-her nurse] " Why ? [She]4227-that young lady is [a very nice young lady]4228-a very nice young lady . [I]596-her nurse hope [you]137-harriet mean to behave prettily to [her]4227-that young lady , [Missy]138-missy , and not show [your]137-harriet airs . "[596-her nurse] " [She]4227-that young lady shall dress [me]596-her nurse on no account . "[596-her nurse] " Comical little thing ! "[596-her nurse] " [You]598-i are not passing the comb straight through [my]596-her nurse hair , [Harriet]137-harriet ; the line will be crooked . "[596-her nurse] " Ay , [you]598-i are ill to please . Does that suit ? "[596-her nurse] " Pretty well . Where should [I]596-her nurse go now that [I]596-her nurse am dressed ? "[596-her nurse] " [I]596-her nurse will take [you]137-harriet into [the breakfast - room]4229-the breakfast - room . "[596-her nurse] " Come , then . "[597-they] [They]597-they proceeded to the door . [She]598-i stopped . " Oh ! [Harriet]137-harriet , [I]598-i wish this was [[papa]4218-papa 's house]4231-papa 's house ! [I]598-i do n't know [these people]4232-these people . "[598-i] " Be [a good child]4233-a good child , [Missy]138-missy . "[596-her nurse] " [I]598-i am good , but [I]598-i ache [here]4212-here ; "[598-i] putting [her]598-i hand to [her]598-i heart , and moaning while [she]598-i reiterated , " [Papa]140-papa ! [papa]4218-papa ! "[598-i] [I]0-i roused [myself]0-i and started up , to check this scene while it was yet within bounds . " Say good - morning to [the young lady]4236-the young lady , "[137-harriet] dictated [Harriet]137-harriet . [She]598-i said , " Good - morning , "[598-i] and then followed [[her]598-i nurse]596-her nurse from [the room]600-the room . [Harriet]137-harriet temporarily left that same day , to go to [[her]137-harriet own friends , who lived in [the neighbourhood]602-the neighbourhood]601-her own friends , who lived in the neighbourhood . On descending , [I]0-i found [Paulina]128-paulina iii [the child]4206-the child called [herself]4206-the child [Polly]139-polly , but [her]4206-the child full name was [Paulina Mary]141-paulina seated at the breakfast - table , by [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's side ; a mug of milk stood before [her]4206-the child , a morsel of bread filled [her]4206-the child hand , which lay passive on the table - cloth : [she]4206-the child was not eating . " How [we]4237-we shall conciliate [this little creature]4238-this little creature , "[130-mrs. bretton] said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton to [me]0-i , " [I]130-mrs. bretton do n't know : [she]4238-this little creature tastes nothing , and by [her]4238-this little creature looks , [she]4238-this little creature has not slept . "[130-mrs. bretton] [I]0-i expressed [my]0-i confidence in the effects of time and kindness . " If [she]4238-this little creature were to take a fancy to [anybody]4239-anybody in [the house]518-the house , [she]4238-this little creature would soon settle ; but not till then , "[130-mrs. bretton] replied [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . CHAPTER II . [PAULINA]141-paulina . Some days elapsed , and it appeared [she]141-paulina was not likely to take much of a fancy to [[anybody]4239-anybody in [the house]518-the house]605-anybody in the house . [She]141-paulina was not exactly naughty or wilful : [she]141-paulina was far from disobedient ; but an object less conducive to comfort - to tranquillity even - than [she]141-paulina presented , it was scarcely possible to have before [one]607-one 's eyes . [She]141-paulina moped : [no grown person]608-no grown person could have performed that uncheering business better ; [no furrowed face of adult exile]609-no furrowed face of adult exile , longing for [Europe]17-europe at [[Europe]17-europe 's antipodes]610-europe 's antipodes , ever bore more legibly the signs of [home]542-home sickness than did [her]141-paulina infant visage . [She]141-paulina seemed growing old and unearthly . [I]0-i , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy , plead guiltless of that curse , an overheated and discursive imagination ; but whenever , opening [a room]612-a room - door , [I]0-i found [her]141-paulina seated in a corner alone , [her]141-paulina head in [her]141-paulina pigmy hand , [that room]613-that room seemed to [me]0-i not inhabited , but haunted . And again , when of moonlight nights , on waking , [I]0-i beheld [her]141-paulina figure , white and conspicuous in [its]141-paulina night - dress , kneeling upright in bed , and praying like [some Catholic or Methodist enthusiast]614-some catholic or methodist enthusiast - [some precocious fanatic or untimely saint]615-some precocious fanatic or untimely saint - [I]0-i scarcely know what thoughts [I]0-i had ; but [they]616-they ran risk of being hardly more rational and healthy than [that child]617-that child 's mind must have been . [I]0-i seldom caught a word of [her]141-paulina prayers , for they were whispered low : sometimes , indeed , they were not whispered at all , but put up unuttered ; such rare sentences as reached [my]0-i ear still bore the burden , " [Papa]140-papa ; [[my]0-i dear papa]4241-my dear papa ! "[0-i] This , [I]0-i perceived , was a one - idea'd nature ; betraying that monomaniac tendency [I]0-i have ever thought the most unfortunate with which [man]618-man or [woman]619-woman can be cursed . What might have been the end of this fretting , had it continued unchecked , can only be conjectured : it received , however , a sudden turn . One afternoon , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , coaxing [her]141-paulina from [[her]141-paulina usual station]620-her usual station in a corner , had lifted [her]141-paulina into the window - seat , and , by way of occupying [her]141-paulina attention , told [her]141-paulina to watch [the passengers]621-the passengers and count how many [ladies]622-ladies should go down [the street]623-the street in a given time . [She]141-paulina had sat listlessly , hardly looking , and not counting , when - [my]0-i eye being fixed on [hers]141-paulina - [I]0-i witnessed in its iris and pupil a startling transfiguration . These sudden , dangerous natures - sensitive as they are called - offer many a curious spectacle to [those whom a cooler temperament has secured from participation in [their]624-those whom a cooler temperament has secured from participation in their angular vagaries angular vagaries]624-those whom a cooler temperament has secured from participation in their angular vagaries . The fixed and heavy gaze swum , trembled , then glittered in fire ; the small , overcast brow cleared ; the trivial and dejected features lit up ; the sad countenance vanished , and in its place appeared a sudden eagerness , an intense expectancy . " It is ! "[141-paulina] were [her]141-paulina words . Like a bird or a shaft , or any other swift thing , [she]141-paulina was gone from [the room]600-the room , How [she]141-paulina got the house - door open [I]0-i can not tell ; probably it might be ajar ; perhaps [Warren]136-warren was in the way and obeyed [her]141-paulina behest , which would be impetuous enough . [I]0-i - watching calmly from the window - saw [her]141-paulina , in [her]141-paulina black frock and tiny braided apron to pinafores [she]141-paulina had an antipathy , dart half the length of [the street]623-the street ; and , as [I]0-i was on the point of turning , and quietly announcing to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton that [the child]4206-the child was run out mad , and ought instantly to be pursued , [I]0-i saw [her]141-paulina caught up , and rapt at once from [my]0-i cool observation , and from the wondering stare of [the passengers]621-the passengers . [A gentleman]629-a gentleman had done this good turn , and now , covering [her]141-paulina with [his]629-a gentleman cloak , advanced to restore [her]141-paulina to [the house]518-the house whence [he]629-a gentleman had seen [her]141-paulina issue . [I]0-i concluded [he]629-a gentleman would leave [her]141-paulina in [a servant]564-a servant 's charge and withdraw ; but [he]629-a gentleman entered : having tarried a little while below , [he]629-a gentleman came up - [stairs]593-stairs . [His]629-a gentleman reception immediately explained that [he]629-a gentleman was known to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . [She]130-mrs. bretton recognised [him]629-a gentleman ; [she]130-mrs. bretton greeted [him]629-a gentleman , and yet [she]130-mrs. bretton was fluttered , surprised , taken unawares . [Her]130-mrs. bretton look and manner were even expostulatory ; and in reply to these , rather than [her]130-mrs. bretton words , [he]629-a gentleman said , - " [I]629-a gentleman could not help it , [madam]4242-madam : [I]629-a gentleman found it impossible to leave [the country]571-the country without seeing with [my]629-a gentleman own eyes how [she]141-paulina settled . "[629-a gentleman] " But [you]629-a gentleman will unsettle [her]141-paulina . "[629-a gentleman] " [I]629-a gentleman hope not . And how is [[papa]4218-papa 's little [Polly]141-paulina]4245-papa 's little polly ? "[629-a gentleman] This question [he]629-a gentleman addressed to [Paulina]141-paulina , as [he]629-a gentleman sat down and placed [her]141-paulina gently on the ground before [him]629-a gentleman . " How is [[Polly]141-paulina 's papa]4246-polly 's papa ? "[141-paulina] was the reply , as [she]141-paulina leaned on [his]629-a gentleman knee , and gazed up into [his]629-a gentleman face . It was not a noisy , not a wordy scene : for that [I]0-i was thankful ; but it was a scene of feeling too brimful , and which , because the cup did not foam up high or furiously overflow , only oppressed one the more . On all occasions of vehement , unrestrained expansion , a sense of disdain or ridicule comes to [the weary spectator]633-the weary spectator 's relief ; whereas [I]0-i have ever felt most burdensome that sort of sensibility which bends of its own will , [a giant slave under the sway of good sense]634-a giant slave under the sway of good sense . [Mr. Home]134-mr. home was a stern - featured - perhaps [I]0-i should rather say , [a hard- featured man]635-a hard- featured man : [his]629-a gentleman forehead was knotty , and [his]629-a gentleman cheekbones were marked and prominent . The character of [his]629-a gentleman face was quite Scotch ; but there was feeling in [his]629-a gentleman eye , and emotion in [his]629-a gentleman now agitated countenance . [His]629-a gentleman northern accent in speaking harmonised with [his]629-a gentleman physiognomy . [He]629-a gentleman was at once proud - looking and homely - looking . [He]629-a gentleman laid [his]629-a gentleman hand on [the child]4206-the child 's uplifted head . [She]4206-the child said - " Kiss [Polly]141-paulina . "[4206-the child] [He]629-a gentleman kissed [her]4206-the child . [I]0-i wished [she]4206-the child would utter some hysterical cry , so that [I]0-i might get relief and be at ease . [She]4206-the child made wonderfully little noise : [she]4206-the child seemed to have got what [she]4206-the child wanted - all [she]4206-the child wanted , and to be in a trance of content . Neither in [mien]637-mien nor in features was [this creature like [[her]4206-the child sire]639-her sire]638-this creature like her sire , and yet [she]4206-the child was of [his]629-a gentleman strain : [her]4206-the child mind had been filled from [his]629-a gentleman , as the cup from the flagon . Indisputably , [Mr. Home]134-mr. home owned manly self - control , however [he]629-a gentleman might secretly feel on some matters . " [Polly]141-paulina , "[629-a gentleman] [he]629-a gentleman said , looking down on [[his]629-a gentleman little girl]558-his little girl , " go into [the hall]573-the hall ; [you]141-paulina will see [papa]4218-papa 's great - coat lying on a chair ; put [your]141-paulina hand into the pockets , [you]141-paulina will find a pocket- handkerchief there ; bring it to [me]629-a gentleman . "[629-a gentleman] [She]558-his little girl obeyed ; went and returned deftly and nimbly . [He]629-a gentleman was talking to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton when [she]558-his little girl came back , and [she]558-his little girl waited with the handkerchief in [her]558-his little girl hand . It was a picture , in its way , to see [her]558-his little girl , with [her]558-his little girl tiny stature , and trim , neat shape , standing at [his]629-a gentleman knee . Seeing that [he]629-a gentleman continued to talk , apparently unconscious of [her]558-his little girl return , [she]558-his little girl took [his]629-a gentleman hand , opened the unresisting fingers , insinuated into them the handkerchief , and closed them upon it one by one . [He]629-a gentleman still seemed not to see or to feel [her]558-his little girl ; but by - and - by , [he]629-a gentleman lifted [her]558-his little girl to [his]629-a gentleman knee ; [she]558-his little girl nestled against [him]629-a gentleman , and though neither looked at nor spoke to [the other]641-the other for an hour following , [I]0-i suppose [both]642-both were satisfied . During tea , the minute thing 's movements and behaviour gave , as usual , full occupation to the eye . First [she]558-his little girl directed [Warren]136-warren , as [he]629-a gentleman placed the chairs . " Put [papa]4218-papa 's chair here , and [mine]558-his little girl near it , between [papa]4218-papa and [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton : [I]558-his little girl must hand [his]4218-papa tea . "[558-his little girl] [She]558-his little girl took [her]558-his little girl own seat , and beckoned with [her]558-his little girl hand to [[her]558-his little girl father]643-her father . " Be near [me]558-his little girl , as if [we]4251-we were at [home]542-home , [papa]4218-papa . "[558-his little girl] And again , as [she]558-his little girl intercepted [his]629-a gentleman cup in passing , and would stir the sugar , and put in the cream [herself]558-his little girl , " [I]558-his little girl always did it for [you]629-a gentleman at [home]542-home ; [papa]4218-papa : [nobody]4256-nobody could do it as well , not even [[your]629-a gentleman own self]4257-your own self . "[558-his little girl] Throughout the meal [she]558-his little girl continued [her]558-his little girl attentions : rather absurd they were . The sugar - tongs were too wide for one of [her]558-his little girl hands , and [she]558-his little girl had to use both in wielding them ; the weight of the silver cream - ewer , the bread - and - butter plates , the very cup and saucer , tasked [her]558-his little girl insufficient strength and dexterity ; but [she]558-his little girl would lift this , hand that , and luckily contrived through it all to break nothing . Candidly speaking , [I]0-i thought [her]558-his little girl a little busy - body ; but [[her]558-his little girl father]643-her father , blind like [other parents]645-other parents , seemed perfectly content to let [her]558-his little girl wait on [him]643-her father , and even wonderfully soothed by [her]558-his little girl offices . " [She]577-that lady is [my]643-her father comfort ! "[643-her father] [he]643-her father could not help saying to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . [That lady]577-that lady had [her]577-that lady own " comfort "[643-her father] and nonpareil on a much larger scale , and , for the moment , absent ; so [she]577-that lady sympathised with [his]643-her father foible . This second " comfort "[577-that lady] came on the stage in the course of the evening . [I]0-i knew this day had been fixed for [his]643-her father return , and was aware that [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton had been expecting [him]643-her father through all [its]647-its hours . [We]648-we were seated round the fire , after tea , when [Graham]135-graham joined [[our]648-we circle]649-our circle : [I]0-i should rather say , broke it up - for , of course , [his]135-graham arrival made a bustle ; and then , as [Mr. Graham]135-graham was fasting , there was refreshment to be provided . [He]135-graham and [Mr. Home]134-mr. home met as [old acquaintance]650-old acquaintance ; of [the little girl]651-the little girl [he]135-graham took no notice for a time . [His]135-graham meal over , and numerous questions from [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother answered , [he]135-graham turned from the table to the hearth . Opposite where [he]135-graham had placed [himself]135-graham was seated [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , and at [his]135-graham elbow , [the child]4206-the child . When [I]0-i say [child]654-child [I]0-i use an inappropriate and undescriptive term - a term suggesting any picture rather than that of [the demure little person in a mourning frock and white chemisette , that might just have fitted a good - sized doll]655-the demure little person in a mourning frock and white chemisette , that might just have fitted a good - sized doll - perched now on a high chair beside a stand , whereon was [her]651-the little girl toy work - box of white varnished wood , and holding in [her]651-the little girl hands a shred of a handkerchief , which [she]651-the little girl was professing to hem , and at which [she]651-the little girl bored perseveringly with a needle , that in [her]651-the little girl fingers seemed almost a skewer , pricking [herself]651-the little girl ever and anon , marking the cambric with a track of minute red dots ; occasionally starting when the perverse weapon - swerving from [her]651-the little girl control - inflicted a deeper stab than usual ; but still silent , diligent , absorbed , womanly . [Graham]135-graham was at that time [a handsome , faithless - looking youth of sixteen]656-a handsome , faithless - looking youth of sixteen . [I]0-i say faithless - looking , not because [he]135-graham was really of a very perfidious disposition , but because the epithet strikes [me]0-i as proper to describe [the fair , Celtic not Saxon character of [his]135-graham good looks]657-the fair , celtic not saxon character of his good looks ; [his]135-graham waved light auburn hair , [his]135-graham supple symmetry , [his]135-graham smile frequent , and destitute neither of fascination nor of subtlety in no bad sense . [A spoiled , whimsical boy]658-a spoiled , whimsical boy [he]135-graham was in those days . " [Mother]4258-mother , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham said , after eyeing [the little figure before [him]135-graham]659-the little figure before him in silence for some time , and when the temporary absence of [Mr. Home]134-mr. home from [the room]600-the room relieved [him]135-graham from the half - laughing bashfulness , which was all [he]135-graham knew of timidity - -"Mother , [I]534-his mother see [a young lady in the present society to whom [I]534-his mother have not been introduced]4259-a young lady in the present society to whom i have not been introduced . "[534-his mother] " [[Mr. Home]134-mr. home 's little girl]4260-mr. home 's little girl , [I]534-his mother suppose [you]135-graham mean , "[534-his mother] said [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother . " Indeed , [ma'am]4221-ma'am , "[532-her son] replied [[her]534-his mother son]532-her son , " [I]532-her son consider [your]4221-ma'am expression of the least ceremonious : [Miss Home]144-miss home [I]532-her son should certainly have said , in venturing to speak of the gentlewoman to whom [I]532-her son allude . "[532-her son] " Now , [Graham]135-graham , [I]534-his mother will not have [that child]617-that child teased . Do n't flatter [yourself]4221-ma'am that [I]534-his mother shall suffer [you]4221-ma'am to make [her]617-that child [your]4221-ma'am butt . "[534-his mother] " [Miss Home]144-miss home , "[135-graham] pursued [Graham]135-graham , undeterred by [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's remonstrance , " might [I]534-his mother have the honour to introduce [myself]534-his mother , since [no one else]4263-no one else seems willing to render [you]534-his mother and [me]534-his mother that service ? [[Your]534-his mother slave]4264-your slave , [John Graham Bretton]135-graham . "[534-his mother] [She]534-his mother looked at [him]135-graham ; [he]135-graham rose and bowed quite gravely . [She]534-his mother deliberately put down thimble , scissors , work ; descended with precaution from [her]534-his mother perch , and curtsying with unspeakable seriousness , said , " How do [you]135-graham do ? "[534-his mother] " [I]534-his mother have the honour to be in fair health , only in some measure fatigued with a hurried journey . [I]534-his mother hope , [ma'am]4221-ma'am , [I]534-his mother see [you]4221-ma'am well ? "[534-his mother] " Tor - rer - ably well , "[534-his mother] was the ambitious reply of [the little woman]664-the little woman and [she]534-his mother now essayed to regain [her]534-his mother former elevation , but finding this could not be done without some climbing and straining - a sacrifice of decorum not to be thought of - and being utterly disdainful of aid in the presence of [a strange young gentleman]665-a strange young gentleman , [she]534-his mother relinquished the high chair for a low stool : towards that low stool [Graham]135-graham drew in [his]135-graham chair . " [I]135-graham hope , [ma'am]4221-ma'am , [the present residence]4267-the present residence , [[[my]135-graham mother]4268-my mother 's house]4269-my mother 's house , appears to [you]4221-ma'am a convenient place of abode ? "[135-graham] " Not par - tic - er - er - ly ; [I]534-his mother want to go [home]542-home . "[534-his mother] " A natural and laudable desire , [ma'am]4221-ma'am ; but one which , notwithstanding , [I]534-his mother shall do [my]534-his mother best to oppose . [I]534-his mother reckon on being able to get out of [you]4221-ma'am a little of that precious commodity called amusement , which [mamma]4272-mamma and [Mistress Snowe]142-lucy there fail to yield [me]534-his mother . "[534-his mother] " [I]534-his mother shall have to go with [papa]4218-papa soon : [I]534-his mother shall not stay long at [[your]4221-ma'am mother]4274-your mother 's . "[534-his mother] " Yes , yes ; [you]4221-ma'am will stay with [me]135-graham , [I]135-graham am sure . [I]135-graham have a pony on which [you]4221-ma'am shall ride , and no end of books with pictures to show [you]4221-ma'am . "[135-graham] " Are [you]4221-ma'am going to live [here]4212-here now ? "[534-his mother] " [I]534-his mother am . Does that please [you]4221-ma'am ? Do [you]4221-ma'am like [me]534-his mother ? "[534-his mother] " No . "[534-his mother] " Why ? "[534-his mother] " [I]534-his mother think [you]4221-ma'am queer . "[534-his mother] " [My]534-his mother face , [ma'am]4221-ma'am ? "[534-his mother] " [Your]534-his mother face and all about [you]4221-ma'am : [You]4221-ma'am have long red hair . "[534-his mother] " Auburn hair , if [you]4221-ma'am please : [mamma]4272-mamma , calls it auburn , or golden , and so do [all [her]4272-mamma friends]4278-all her friends . But even with [my]666-i ' long red hair ' "[666-i] and [he]666-i waved [his]666-i mane with a sort of triumph - tawny [he]666-i [himself]666-i well knew that it was , and [he]666-i was proud of the leonine hue , " [I]666-i can not possibly be queerer than is [[your]4221-ma'am ladyship]4279-your ladyship . "[666-i] " [You]4221-ma'am call [me]534-his mother queer ? "[534-his mother] " Certainly . "[666-i] After a pause , " [I]666-i think [I]666-i shall go to bed . "[666-i] " A little thing like [you]4221-ma'am ought to have been in bed many hours since ; but [you]4221-ma'am probably sat up in the expectation of seeing [me]534-his mother ? "[534-his mother] " No , indeed . "[534-his mother] " [You]4221-ma'am certainly wished to enjoy the pleasure of [my]666-i society . [You]4221-ma'am knew [I]666-i was coming [home]542-home , and would wait to have a look at [me]666-i . "[666-i] " [I]534-his mother sat up for [papa]4218-papa , and not for [you]4221-ma'am . "[534-his mother] " Very good , [Miss Home]144-miss home . [I]667-she am going to be [a favourite]4282-a favourite : preferred before [papa]4218-papa soon , [I]667-she daresay . "[667-she] [She]667-she wished [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton and [myself]0-i good - night ; [she]667-she seemed hesitating whether [Graham]135-graham 's deserts entitled [him]135-graham to the same attention , when [he]135-graham caught [her]667-she up with one hand , and with that one hand held [her]667-she poised aloft above [his]135-graham head . [She]667-she saw [herself]667-she thus lifted up on high , in the glass over the fireplace . The suddenness , the freedom , the disrespect of the action were too much . " For shame , [Mr. Graham]135-graham ! "[667-she] was [her]667-she indignant cry , " put [me]667-she down ! "[667-she] - and when again on [her]667-she feet , " [I]667-she wonder what [you]135-graham would think of [me]667-she if [I]667-she were to treat [you]135-graham in that way , lifting [you]135-graham with [my]667-she hand "[667-she] raising [that mighty member]668-that mighty member " as [Warren]136-warren lifts the little cat . "[668-that mighty member] So saying , [she]667-she departed . CHAPTER III . [THE PLAYMATES]669-the playmates . [Mr. Home]134-mr. home stayed two days . During [his]135-graham visit [he]135-graham could not be prevailed on to go out : [he]135-graham sat all day long by the fireside , sometimes silent , sometimes receiving and answering [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's chat , which was just of the proper sort for [a man in [his]135-graham morbid mood]670-a man in his morbid mood - not over - sympathetic , yet not too uncongenial , sensible ; and even with a touch of [the motherly]671-the motherly - [she]667-she was sufficiently [his]135-graham senior to be permitted this touch . As to [Paulina]141-paulina , [the child]4206-the child was at once happy and mute , busy and watchful . [[Her]141-paulina father]643-her father frequently lifted [her]141-paulina to [his]643-her father knee ; [she]141-paulina would sit there till [she]141-paulina felt or fancied [he]643-her father grew restless ; then it was - " [Papa]140-papa , put [me]141-paulina down ; [I]141-paulina shall tire [you]643-her father with [my]141-paulina weight . "[141-paulina] And the mighty burden slid to the rug , and establishing itself on carpet or stool just at " [papa]4218-papa 's "[141-paulina] feet , the white work - box and the scarlet - speckled handkerchief came into play . This handkerchief , it seems , was intended as a keepsake for " [papa]4218-papa , "[141-paulina] and must be finished before [his]643-her father departure ; consequently the demand on [the sempstress]674-the sempstress 's industry [she]667-she accomplished about a score of stitches in half - an - hour was stringent . The evening , by restoring [Graham]135-graham to the maternal roof [his]135-graham days were passed at [school]675-school , brought [us]676-us an accession of animation - a quality not diminished by the nature of the scenes pretty sure to be enacted between [him]135-graham and [Miss Paulina]145-miss paulina . A distant and haughty demeanour had been the result of the indignity put upon [her]145-miss paulina the first evening of [his]135-graham arrival : [her]145-miss paulina usual answer , when [he]135-graham addressed [her]145-miss paulina , was - " [I]145-miss paulina ca n't attend to [you]145-miss paulina ; [I]145-miss paulina have other things to think about . "[145-miss paulina] Being implored to state what things : " Business . "[135-graham] [Graham]135-graham would endeavour to seduce [her]145-miss paulina attention by opening [his]135-graham desk and displaying its multifarious contents : seals , bright sticks of wax , pen - knives , with a miscellany of engravings - some of them gaily coloured - which [he]135-graham had amassed from time to time . Nor was this powerful temptation wholly unavailing : [her]145-miss paulina eyes , furtively raised from [her]145-miss paulina work , cast many a peep towards the writing - table , rich in scattered pictures . An etching of [a child playing with a Blenheim spaniel]677-a child playing with a blenheim spaniel happened to flutter to the floor . " Pretty little dog ! "[145-miss paulina] said [she]145-miss paulina , delighted . [Graham]135-graham prudently took no notice . Ere long , stealing from [her]145-miss paulina corner , [she]145-miss paulina approached to examine the treasure more closely . The dog 's great eyes and long ears , and [the child]4206-the child 's hat and feathers , were irresistible . " Nice picture ! "[145-miss paulina] was [her]145-miss paulina favourable criticism . " Well - [you]145-miss paulina may have it , "[135-graham] said [Graham]135-graham . [She]145-miss paulina seemed to hesitate . The wish to possess was strong , but to accept would be a compromise of dignity . No . [She]145-miss paulina put it down and turned away . " [You]135-graham wo n't have it , then , [Polly]141-paulina ? "[145-miss paulina] " [I]145-miss paulina would rather not , thank [you]145-miss paulina . "[145-miss paulina] " Shall [I]145-miss paulina tell [you]145-miss paulina what [I]145-miss paulina will do with the picture if [you]145-miss paulina refuse it ? "[145-miss paulina] [She]145-miss paulina half turned to listen . " Cut it into strips for lighting the taper . "[145-miss paulina] " No ! "[145-miss paulina] " But [I]145-miss paulina shall . "[145-miss paulina] " Please - do n't . "[135-graham] [Graham]135-graham waxed inexorable on hearing the pleading tone ; [he]135-graham took the scissors from [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's work - basket . " Here goes ! "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham , making a menacing flourish . " Right through [Fido]146-fido 's head , and splitting little [Harry]147-harry 's nose . "[135-graham] " No ! No ! NO ! "[135-graham] " Then come to [me]145-miss paulina . Come quickly , or it is done . "[145-miss paulina] [She]145-miss paulina hesitated , lingered , but complied . " Now , will [you]145-miss paulina have it ? "[135-graham] [he]135-graham asked , as [she]145-miss paulina stood before [him]135-graham . " Please . "[135-graham] " But [I]145-miss paulina shall want payment . "[145-miss paulina] " How much ? "[135-graham] " A kiss . "[135-graham] " Give the picture first into [my]145-miss paulina hand . "[145-miss paulina] [Polly]141-paulina , as [she]141-paulina said this , looked rather faithless in [her]141-paulina turn . [Graham]135-graham gave it . [She]145-miss paulina absconded [a debtor]680-a debtor , darted to [[her]145-miss paulina father]643-her father , and took refuge on [his]643-her father knee . [Graham]135-graham rose in mimic wrath and followed . [She]145-miss paulina buried [her]145-miss paulina face in [Mr. Home]134-mr. home 's waistcoat . " [Papa]140-papa - [papa]4218-papa - send [him]135-graham away ! "[145-miss paulina] " [I]135-graham 'll not be sent away , "[135-graham] said [Graham]135-graham . With face still averted , [she]145-miss paulina held out [her]145-miss paulina hand to keep [him]135-graham off " Then , [I]135-graham shall kiss the hand , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham ; but that moment it became a miniature fist , and dealt [him]135-graham payment in a small coin that was not kisses . [Graham]135-graham - not failing in [his]135-graham way to be as wily as [[his]135-graham little playmate]682-his little playmate - retreated apparently quite discomfited ; [he]135-graham flung [himself]135-graham on a sofa , and resting [his]135-graham head against the cushion , lay like [one in pain]683-one in pain . [Polly]141-paulina , finding [him]135-graham silent , presently peeped at [him]135-graham . [His]135-graham eyes and face were covered with [his]135-graham hands . [She]141-paulina turned on [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father 's knee , and gazed at [her]141-paulina foe anxiously and long . [Graham]135-graham groaned . " [Papa]140-papa , what is the matter ? "[141-paulina] [she]141-paulina whispered . " [You]140-papa had better ask [him]135-graham , [Polly]141-paulina . "[141-paulina] " Is [he]135-graham hurt ? "[141-paulina] groan second . " [He]135-graham makes a noise as if [he]135-graham were , "[134-mr. home] said [Mr. Home]134-mr. home . " [Mother]4258-mother , "[135-graham] suggested [Graham]135-graham , feebly , " [I]135-graham think [you]4258-mother had better send for [the doctor]4288-the doctor . Oh [my]135-graham eye ! "[135-graham] renewed silence , broken only by sighs from [Graham]135-graham . " If [I]135-graham were to become blind - - ? "[135-graham] suggested this last . [[His]135-graham chastiser]685-his chastiser could not bear the suggestion . [She]141-paulina was beside [him]135-graham directly . " Let [me]141-paulina see [your]135-graham eye : [I]141-paulina did not mean to touch it , only [your]135-graham mouth ; and [I]141-paulina did not think [I]141-paulina hit so very hard . "[141-paulina] Silence answered [her]141-paulina . [Her]141-paulina features worked , - " [I]141-paulina am sorry ; [I]141-paulina am sorry ! "[141-paulina] Then succeeded emotion , faltering ; weeping . " Have done trying [that child]617-that child , [Graham]135-graham , "[130-mrs. bretton] said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . " It is all nonsense , [[my]134-mr. home pet]4290-my pet , "[134-mr. home] cried [Mr. Home]134-mr. home . And [Graham]135-graham once more snatched [her]141-paulina aloft , and [she]141-paulina again punished [him]135-graham ; and while [she]141-paulina pulled [his]135-graham lion 's locks , termed [him]135-graham - " [The naughtiest , rudest , worst , untruest person that ever]4291-the naughtiest , rudest , worst , untruest person that ever was . "[141-paulina] On the morning of [Mr. Home]134-mr. home 's departure , [he]134-mr. home and [[his]134-mr. home daughter]686-his daughter had some conversation in a window - recess by [themselves]687-themselves ; [I]0-i heard part of it . " Could n't [I]141-paulina pack [my]141-paulina box and go with [you]134-mr. home , [papa]4218-papa ? "[141-paulina] [she]141-paulina whispered earnestly . [He]134-mr. home shook [his]134-mr. home head . " Should [I]134-mr. home be a trouble to [you]141-paulina ? "[134-mr. home] " Yes , [Polly]141-paulina . "[134-mr. home] " Because [I]134-mr. home am little ? "[134-mr. home] " Because [you]134-mr. home are little and tender . It is only great , [strong people that should travel]4293-strong people that should travel . But do n't look sad , [[my]134-mr. home little girl]4294-my little girl ; it breaks [my]134-mr. home heart . [Papa]140-papa , will soon come back to [[his]140-papa Polly]4295-his polly . "[134-mr. home] " Indeed , indeed , [I]134-mr. home am not sad , scarcely at all . "[134-mr. home] " [Polly]141-paulina would be sorry to give [papa]4218-papa pain ; would [she]141-paulina not ? "[134-mr. home] " Sorrier than sorry . "[134-mr. home] " Then [Polly]141-paulina must be cheerful : not cry at parting ; not fret afterwards . [She]141-paulina must look forward to meeting again , and try to be happy meanwhile . Can [she]141-paulina do this ? "[134-mr. home] " [She]141-paulina will try . "[134-mr. home] " [I]134-mr. home see [she]141-paulina will . Farewell , then . It is time to go . "[134-mr. home] " Now ? - just now ? "[134-mr. home] Just now . " [She]141-paulina held up quivering lips . [[Her]141-paulina father]643-her father sobbed , but [she]141-paulina , [I]140-papa remarked , did not . Having put [her]141-paulina down , [he]643-her father shook hands with [the rest present]4298-the rest present , and departed . When [the street]623-the street - door closed , [she]141-paulina dropped on [her]141-paulina knees at a chair with a cry - "[140-papa] [Papa]140-papa ! " It was low and long ; a sort of "[140-papa] Why hast [thou]688-i forsaken [me]0-i ? " During an ensuing space of some minutes , [I]688-i perceived [she]141-paulina endured agony . [She]141-paulina went through , in that brief interval of [her]141-paulina infant life , emotions such as some never feel ; it was in [her]141-paulina constitution : [she]141-paulina would have more of such instants if [she]141-paulina lived . [Nobody]4256-nobody spoke . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , being [a mother]4301-a mother , shed a tear or two . [Graham]135-graham , who was writing , lifted up [his]135-graham eyes and gazed at [her]141-paulina . [I]688-i , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy , was calm . [The little creature]4302-the little creature , thus left unharassed , did for [herself]141-paulina what [none other]4303-none other could do - contended with an intolerable feeling ; and , ere long , in some degree , repressed it . That day [she]141-paulina would accept solace from none ; nor the next day : [she]141-paulina grew more passive afterwards . On the third evening , as [she]141-paulina sat on the floor , worn and quiet , [Graham]135-graham , coming in , took [her]141-paulina up gently , without a word . [She]141-paulina did not resist : [she]141-paulina rather nestled in [his]135-graham arms , as if weary . When [he]135-graham sat down , [she]141-paulina laid [her]141-paulina head against [him]135-graham ; in a few minutes [she]141-paulina slept ; [he]135-graham carried [her]141-paulina [upstairs]4304-upstairs to bed . [I]688-i was not surprised that , the next morning , the first thing [she]141-paulina demanded was , "[688-i] Where is [Mr. Graham]135-graham ? " It happened that [Graham]135-graham was not coming to the breakfast - table ; [he]135-graham had some exercises to write for that morning 's class , and had requested [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother to send a cup of tea into [the study]4306-the study . [Polly]141-paulina volunteered to carry it : [she]141-paulina must be busy about something , look after [somebody]4307-somebody . The cup was entrusted to [her]141-paulina ; for , if restless , [she]141-paulina was also careful . As [the study]4306-the study was opposite [the breakfast - room]4229-the breakfast - room , the doors facing across [the passage]4310-the passage , [my]135-graham eye followed [her]141-paulina . "[135-graham] What are [you]135-graham doing ? " [she]141-paulina asked , pausing on the threshold . "[135-graham] Writing , " said [Graham]135-graham . "[135-graham] Why do n't [you]135-graham come to take breakfast with [[your]135-graham mamma]689-your mamma ? " "[135-graham] Too busy . " "[135-graham] Do [you]135-graham want any breakfast ? " "[135-graham] Of course . " "[135-graham] There , then . " And [she]141-paulina deposited the cup on the carpet , like [a jailor]4311-a jailor putting [a prisoner]4312-a prisoner 's pitcher of water through [his]4312-a prisoner cell - door , and retreated . Presently [she]141-paulina returned . "[135-graham] What will [you]135-graham have besides tea - what to eat ? " "[135-graham] Anything good . Bring [me]0-i something particularly nice ; that 's [a kind little woman]690-a kind little woman . " [She]141-paulina came back to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . "[690-a kind little woman] Please , [ma'am]4221-ma'am , send [[your]4221-ma'am boy]692-your boy something good . " "[135-graham] [You]135-graham shall choose for [him]692-your boy , [Polly]141-paulina ; what shall [[my]0-i boy]693-my boy have ? " [She]141-paulina selected a portion of whatever was best on the table ; and , ere long , came back with a whispered request for some marmalade , which was not there . Having got it , however , for [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton refused [the pair]4313-the pair nothing , [Graham]135-graham was shortly after heard lauding [her]141-paulina to the skies ; promising that , when [he]135-graham had [a house of [his]135-graham own]4314-a house of his own , [she]141-paulina should be [[his]135-graham housekeeper]4315-his housekeeper , and perhaps - if [she]141-paulina showed any culinary genius - [[his]135-graham cook]4316-his cook ; and , as [she]141-paulina did not return , and [I]694-you went to look after [her]141-paulina , [I]694-you found [Graham]135-graham and [her]141-paulina breakfasting tete - a - tete - [she]141-paulina standing at [his]135-graham elbow , and sharing [his]135-graham fare : excepting the marmalade , which [she]141-paulina delicately refused to touch , lest , [I]694-you suppose , it should appear that [she]141-paulina had procured it as much on [her]141-paulina own account as [his]135-graham . [She]141-paulina constantly evinced these nice perceptions and delicate instincts . The league of acquaintanceship thus struck up was not hastily dissolved ; on the contrary , it appeared that time and circumstances served rather to cement than loosen it . Ill - assimilated as [the two]4317-the two were in age , sex , pursuits , c. , [they]4317-the two somehow found a great deal to say to [each other]4318-each other . As to [Paulina]141-paulina , [I]694-you observed that [her]141-paulina little character never properly came out , except with [young Bretton]135-graham . As [she]141-paulina got settled , and accustomed to [the house]518-the house , [she]141-paulina proved tractable enough with [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ; but [she]141-paulina would sit on a stool at [that lady]577-that lady 's feet all day long , learning [her]141-paulina task , or sewing , or drawing figures with a pencil on a slate , and never kindling once to originality , or showing a single gleam of the peculiarities of [her]141-paulina nature . [I]694-you ceased to watch [her]141-paulina under such circumstances : [she]141-paulina was not interesting . But the moment [Graham]135-graham 's knock sounded of an evening , a change occurred ; [she]141-paulina was instantly at the head of the staircase . Usually [her]141-paulina welcome was a reprimand or a threat . "[694-you] [You]694-you have not wiped [your]694-you shoes properly on the mat . [I]0-i shall tell [[your]694-you mamma]689-your mamma . " "[0-i] [Little busybody]696-little busybody ! Are [you]694-you there ? " "[694-you] Yes - and [you]694-you ca n't reach [me]0-i : [I]0-i am higher up than [you]694-you " peeping between the rails of the banister ; [she]141-paulina could not look over them . "[141-paulina] [Polly]141-paulina ! " "[141-paulina] [[My]0-i dear boy]697-my dear boy ! " such was one of [her]141-paulina terms for [him]697-my dear boy , adopted in imitation of [[his]697-my dear boy mother]534-his mother . "[141-paulina] [I]0-i am fit to faint with fatigue , " declared [Graham]135-graham , leaning against the passage - wall in seeming exhaustion . "[148-dr. digby] [Dr. Digby]148-dr. digby " [the headmaster]4322-the headmaster "[148-dr. digby] has quite knocked [me]0-i up with overwork . Just come down and help [me]0-i to carry up [my]0-i books . " "[148-dr. digby] Ah ! [you]694-you 're cunning ! " "[141-paulina] Not at all , [Polly]141-paulina - it is positive fact . [I]0-i 'm as weak as a rush . Come down . " "[694-you] [Your]694-you eyes are quiet like the cat 's , but [you]694-you 'll spring . " "[694-you] Spring ? Nothing of the kind : it is n't in [me]0-i . Come down . " "[0-i] Perhaps [I]0-i may - if [you]694-you 'll promise not to touch - not to snatch [me]0-i up , and not to whirl [me]0-i round . " "[0-i] [I]0-i ? [I]0-i could n't do it ! " sinking into a chair . "[0-i] Then put the books down on the first step , and go three yards off " This being done , [she]141-paulina descended warily , and not taking [her]141-paulina eyes from [the feeble Graham]135-graham . Of course [her]141-paulina approach always galvanized [him]697-my dear boy to new and spasmodic life : the game of romps was sure to be exacted . Sometimes [she]141-paulina would be angry ; sometimes the matter was allowed to pass smoothly , and [we]4323-we could hear [her]141-paulina say as [she]141-paulina led [him]697-my dear boy up - [stairs]593-stairs : "[0-i] Now , [[my]0-i dear boy]697-my dear boy , come and take [your]697-my dear boy tea - [I]0-i am sure [you]697-my dear boy must want something . " It was sufficiently comical to observe [her]141-paulina as [she]141-paulina sat beside [Graham]135-graham , while [he]697-my dear boy took that meal . In [his]697-my dear boy absence [she]141-paulina was [a still personage]4325-a still personage , but with [him]697-my dear boy the most officious , fidgety little body possible . [I]697-my dear boy often wished [she]141-paulina would mind [herself]141-paulina and be tranquil ; but no - [herself]141-paulina was forgotten in [him]697-my dear boy : [he]697-my dear boy could not be sufficiently well waited on , nor carefully enough looked after ; [he]697-my dear boy was more than [the Grand Turk]4326-the grand turk in [her]141-paulina estimation . [She]141-paulina would gradually assemble the various plates before [him]697-my dear boy , and , when one would suppose all [he]697-my dear boy could possibly desire was within [his]697-my dear boy reach , [she]141-paulina would find out something else : "[697-my dear boy] [Ma'am]4221-ma'am , " [she]141-paulina would whisper to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , - "[697-my dear boy] perhaps [[your]4221-ma'am son]700-your son would like a little cake - sweet cake , [you]4221-ma'am know - there is some in there " pointing to the sideboard cupboard . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , as a rule , disapproved of sweet cake at tea , but still the request was urged , - "[4221-ma'am] One little piece - only for [him]700-your son - as [he]700-your son goes to [school]675-school : [girls]702-girls - such as [me]0-i and [Miss Snowe]142-lucy - do n't need treats , but [he]700-your son would like it . " [Graham]135-graham did like it very well , and almost always got it . To do [him]135-graham justice , [he]135-graham would have shared [his]135-graham prize with [her]141-paulina to whom [he]135-graham owed it ; but that was never allowed : to insist , was to ruffle [her]141-paulina for the evening . To stand by [his]135-graham knee , and monopolize [his]135-graham talk and notice , was the reward [she]141-paulina wanted - not a share of the cake . With curious readiness did [she]141-paulina adapt [herself]141-paulina to such themes as interested [him]135-graham . [One]607-one would have thought [the child]4206-the child had no mind or life of [her]4206-the child own , but must necessarily live , move , and have [her]4206-the child being in another : now that [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father was taken from [her]141-paulina , [she]141-paulina nestled to [Graham]135-graham , and seemed to feel by [his]135-graham feelings : to exist in [his]135-graham existence . [She]141-paulina learned the names of all [[his]135-graham schoolfellows]4330-his schoolfellows in a trice : [she]141-paulina got by heart [their]4330-his schoolfellows characters as given from [his]135-graham lips : a single description of [an individual]4331-an individual seemed to suffice . [She]141-paulina never forgot , or confused identities : [she]141-paulina would talk with [him]135-graham the whole evening about people [she]141-paulina had never seen , and appear completely to realise [their]4330-his schoolfellows aspect , manners , and dispositions . Some [she]141-paulina learned to mimic : [an under - master]4332-an under - master , who was an aversion of [young Bretton]135-graham 's , had , it seems , some peculiarities , which [she]141-paulina caught up in a moment from [Graham]135-graham 's representation , and rehearsed for [his]135-graham amusement ; this , however , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton disapproved and forbade . [The pair]4313-the pair seldom quarrelled ; yet once a rupture occurred , in which [her]141-paulina feelings received a severe shock . One day [Graham]135-graham , on the occasion of [his]135-graham birthday , had [some friends]4334-some friends - [lads of [his]135-graham own age]4335-lads of his own age - to dine with [him]135-graham . [Paulina]141-paulina took much interest in the coming of [these friends]4336-these friends ; [she]141-paulina had frequently heard of [them]4336-these friends ; [they]4336-these friends were amongst those of whom [Graham]135-graham oftenest spoke . After dinner , [the young gentlemen]4337-the young gentlemen were left by [themselves]4337-the young gentlemen in [the dining - room]4338-the dining - room , where [they]4337-the young gentlemen soon became very merry and made a good deal of noise . Chancing to pass through [the hall]573-the hall , [I]703-her found [Paulina]141-paulina sitting alone on the lowest step of the staircase , [her]141-paulina eyes fixed on the glossy panels of the dining - room door , where the reflection of the hall - lamp was shining ; [her]141-paulina little brow knit in anxious , meditation . "[703-her] What are [you]703-her thinking about , [Polly]141-paulina ? " "[703-her] Nothing particular ; only [I]0-i wish that door was clear glass - that [I]0-i might see through [it]704-it . [The boys]705-the boys seem very cheerful , and [I]0-i want to go to [them]705-the boys : [I]0-i want to be with [Graham]135-graham , and watch [[his]135-graham friends]706-his friends . " "[703-her] What hinders [you]703-her from going ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i feel afraid : but may [I]0-i try , do [you]703-her think ? May [I]0-i knock at the door , and ask to be let in ? " [I]0-i thought perhaps [they]705-the boys might not object to have [her]703-her as [a playmate]4340-a playmate , and therefore encouraged the attempt . [She]703-her knocked - too faintly at first to be heard , but on a second essay the door unclosed ; [Graham]135-graham 's head appeared ; [he]135-graham looked in high spirits , but impatient . "[0-i] What do [you]703-her want , [[you]703-her little monkey]707-you little monkey ? " "[703-her] To come to [you]703-her . " "[703-her] Do [you]703-her indeed ? As if [I]0-i would be troubled with [you]703-her ! Away to [mamma]4272-mamma and [Mistress Snowe]142-lucy , and tell [them]709-them to put [you]703-her to bed . " The auburn head and bright flushed face vanished , - the door shut peremptorily . [She]703-her was stunned . "[710-he] Why does [he]710-he speak so ? [He]710-he never spoke so before , " [she]703-her said in consternation . "[710-he] What have [I]0-i done ? " "[0-i] Nothing , [Polly]141-paulina ; but [Graham]135-graham is busy with [[his]135-graham school - friends]711-his school - friends . " "[710-he] And [he]710-he likes [them]711-his school - friends better than [me]0-i ! [He]710-he turns [me]0-i away now [they]711-his school - friends are here ! " [I]710-he had some thoughts of consoling [her]703-her , and of improving the occasion by inculcating some of those maxims of philosophy whereof [I]710-he had ever a tolerable stock ready for application . [She]703-her stopped [me]710-he , however , by putting [her]703-her fingers in [her]703-her ears at the first words [I]710-he uttered , and then lying down on the mat with [her]703-her face against the flags ; nor could either [Warren]136-warren or [the cook]4341-the cook root [her]703-her from that position : [she]703-her was allowed to lie , therefore , till [she]703-her chose to rise of [her]703-her own accord . [Graham]135-graham forgot [his]135-graham impatience the same evening , and would have accosted [her]703-her as usual when [[his]135-graham friends]706-his friends were gone , but [she]703-her wrenched [herself]703-her from [his]135-graham hand ; [her]703-her eye quite flashed ; [she]703-her would not bid [him]135-graham good - night ; [she]703-her would not look in [his]135-graham face . The next day [he]135-graham treated [her]703-her with indifference , and [she]703-her grew like a bit of marble . The day after , [he]135-graham teased [her]703-her to know what was the matter ; [her]703-her lips would not unclose . Of course [he]135-graham could not feel real anger on [his]135-graham side : the match was too unequal in every way ; [he]135-graham tried soothing and coaxing . "[710-he] Why was [she]712-he so angry ? What had [he]712-he done ? " By - and - by tears answered [him]135-graham ; [he]135-graham petted [her]703-her , and [they]4343-they were [friends]533-friends . But [she]703-her was [one on whom such incidents were not lost]4345-one on whom such incidents were not lost : [I]712-he remarked that never after this rebuff did [she]703-her seek [him]135-graham , or follow [him]135-graham , or in any way solicit [his]135-graham notice . [I]712-he told [her]703-her once to carry a book or some other article to [Graham]135-graham when [he]135-graham was shut up in [[his]135-graham study]4346-his study . "[712-he] [I]0-i shall wait till [he]712-he comes out , " said [she]703-her , proudly ; "[0-i] [I]0-i do n't choose to give [him]712-he the trouble of rising to open the door . " [Young Bretton]149-young bretton had a favourite pony on which [he]135-graham often rode out ; from the window [she]703-her always watched [his]135-graham departure and return . It was [her]703-her ambition to be permitted to have a ride round [the courtyard]4347-the courtyard on this pony ; but far be it from [her]703-her to ask such a favour . One day [she]703-her descended to [the yard]4348-the yard to watch [him]135-graham dismount ; as [she]703-her leaned against the gate , the longing wish for the indulgence of a ride glittered in [her]703-her eye . "[0-i] Come , [Polly]141-paulina , will [you]141-paulina have a canter ? " asked [Graham]135-graham , half carelessly . [I]141-paulina suppose [she]141-paulina thought [he]135-graham was too careless . "[141-paulina] No , thank [you]712-he , " said [she]141-paulina , turning away with the utmost coolness . "[712-he] [You]141-paulina 'd better , " pursued [he]135-graham . "[141-paulina] [You]141-paulina will like it , [I]0-i am sure . " "[0-i] Do n't think [I]0-i should care a fig about it , " was the response . "[0-i] That is not true . [You]141-paulina told [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy [you]141-paulina longed to have a ride . " "[141-paulina] [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy is a tatter -box , " [I]150-mamma heard [her]141-paulina say [her]141-paulina imperfect articulation was the least precocious thing [she]141-paulina had about [her]141-paulina ; and with this ; [she]141-paulina walked into [the house]518-the house . [Graham]135-graham , coming in soon after , observed to [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother , - "[150-mamma] [Mamma]150-mamma , [I]0-i believe that creature is [a changeling]713-a changeling : [she]142-lucy is a perfect cabinet of oddities ; but [I]0-i should be dull without [her]142-lucy : [she]142-lucy amuses [me]0-i a great deal more than [you]141-paulina or [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy . " "[142-lucy] [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , " said [Paulina]141-paulina to [me]142-lucy [she]141-paulina had now got into the habit of occasionally chatting with [me]142-lucy when [we]4351-we were alone in [[our]4351-we room]4352-our room at night , "[142-lucy] do [you]142-lucy know on what day in the week [I]0-i like [Graham]135-graham best ? " "[0-i] How can [I]0-i possibly know anything so strange ? Is there one day out of the seven when [he]135-graham is otherwise than on the other six ? " "[142-lucy] To be sure ! Ca n't [you]142-lucy see ? Do n't [you]142-lucy know ? [I]0-i find [him]135-graham the most excellent on a Sunday ; then [we]714-we have [him]135-graham the whole day , and [he]135-graham is quiet , and , in the evening , so kind . " This observation was not altogether groundless : going to [church]4353-church , c. , kept [Graham]135-graham quiet on the Sunday , and the evening [he]135-graham generally dedicated to a serene , though rather indolent sort of enjoyment by the parlour fireside . [He]135-graham would take possession of the couch , and then [he]135-graham would call [Polly]141-paulina . [Graham]135-graham was [a boy not quite as [other boys]4355-other boys]4354-a boy not quite as other boys are ; all [his]135-graham delight did not lie in action : [he]135-graham was capable of some intervals of contemplation ; [he]135-graham could take a pleasure too in reading , nor was [his]135-graham selection of books wholly indiscriminate : there were glimmerings of characteristic preference , and even of instinctive taste in the choice . [He]135-graham rarely , it is true , remarked on what [he]135-graham read , but [I]135-graham have seen [him]135-graham sit and think of it . [Polly]141-paulina , being near [him]135-graham , kneeling on a little cushion or the carpet , a conversation would begin in murmurs , not inaudible , though subdued . [I]135-graham caught a snatch of [their]4356-their tenor now and then ; and , in truth , some influence better and finer than that of every day , seemed to soothe [Graham]135-graham at such times into no ungentle mood . "[135-graham] Have [you]715-you learned any hymns this week , [Polly]141-paulina ? " "[141-paulina] [I]0-i have learned a very pretty one , four verses long . Shall [I]0-i say it ? " "[0-i] Speak nicely , then : do n't be in a hurry . " The hymn being rehearsed , or rather half - chanted , in a little singing voice , [Graham]135-graham would take exceptions at the manner , and proceed to give a lesson in recitation . [She]141-paulina was quick in learning , apt in imitating ; and , besides , [her]141-paulina pleasure was to please [Graham]135-graham : [she]141-paulina proved [a ready scholar]4357-a ready scholar . To the hymn would succeed some reading - perhaps a chapter in the Bible ; correction was seldom required here , for [the child]4206-the child could read any simple narrative chapter very well ; and , when the subject was such as [she]141-paulina could understand and take an interest in , [her]141-paulina expression and emphasis were something remarkable . [Joseph]151-joseph cast into the pit ; the calling of [Samuel]152-samuel ; [Daniel]153-daniel in [the lions ' den]4359-the lions ' den ; - these were favourite passages : of the first especially [she]141-paulina seemed perfectly to feel the pathos . "[0-i] [Poor [Jacob]154-jacob]716-poor jacob ! " [she]141-paulina would sometimes say , with quivering lips . "[716-poor jacob] How [he]154-jacob loved [[his]154-jacob son]717-his son [Joseph]151-joseph ! As much , " [she]141-paulina once added - "[0-i] as much , [Graham]135-graham , as [I]0-i love [you]135-graham : if [you]135-graham were to die " and [she]141-paulina re - opened the book , sought the verse , and read , "[0-i] [I]0-i should refuse to be comforted , and go down into the grave to [you]135-graham mourning . " With these words [she]141-paulina gathered [Graham]135-graham in [her]141-paulina little arms , drawing [his]135-graham long - tressed head towards [her]141-paulina . The action , [I]0-i remember , struck [me]0-i as strangely rash ; exciting the feeling one might experience on seeing an animal dangerous by nature , and but half - tamed by art , too heedlessly fondled . Not that [I]0-i feared [Graham]135-graham would hurt , or very roughly check [her]141-paulina ; but [I]0-i thought [she]141-paulina ran risk of incurring such a careless , impatient repulse , as would be worse almost to [her]141-paulina than a blow . On : the whole , however , these demonstrations were borne passively : sometimes even a sort of complacent wonder at [her]141-paulina earnest partiality would smile not unkindly in [his]135-graham eyes . Once [he]135-graham said : - "[0-i] [You]718-you like [me]0-i almost as well as if [you]718-you were [[my]0-i little sister]719-my little sister , [Polly]141-paulina . " "[141-paulina] Oh ! [I]0-i do like [you]0-i , " said [she]141-paulina ; "[0-i] [I]0-i do like [you]0-i very much . " [I]0-i was not long allowed the amusement of this study of character . [She]141-paulina had scarcely been at [Bretton]135-graham two months , when a letter came from [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , signifying that [he]135-graham was now settled amongst [his]135-graham maternal kinsfolk on [the Continent]18-the continent ; that , as [England]19-england was become wholly distasteful to [him]135-graham , [he]135-graham had no thoughts of returning hither , perhaps , for years ; and that [he]135-graham wished [[his]135-graham little girl]558-his little girl to join [him]135-graham immediately . "[0-i] [I]0-i wonder how [she]720-she will take this news ? " said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , when [she]141-paulina had read the letter . [I]720-she wondered , too , and [I]720-she took upon [myself]720-she to communicate it . Repairing to [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room - in which [calm and decorated apartment]4362-calm and decorated apartment [she]720-she was fond of being alone , and where [she]720-she could be implicitly trusted , for [she]720-she fingered nothing , or rather soiled nothing [she]720-she fingered - [I]720-she found [her]720-she seated , like a little Odalisque , on a couch , half shaded by the drooping draperies of the window near . [She]720-she seemed happy ; all [her]720-she appliances for occupation were about [her]720-she ; the white wood workbox , a shred or two of muslin , an end or two of ribbon collected for conversion into doll - millinery . The doll , duly night- capped and night - gowned , lay in its cradle ; [she]720-she was rocking [it]155-candace to sleep , with an air of the most perfect faith in its possession of sentient and somnolent faculties ; [her]720-she eyes , at the same time , being engaged with a picture - book , which lay open on [her]720-she lap . "[720-she] [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , " said [she]720-she in a whisper , "[142-lucy] this is a wonderful book . [Candace]155-candace " the doll , christened by [Graham]135-graham ; for , indeed , its begrimed complexion gave [it]155-candace much of an Ethiopian aspect - "[155-candace] [Candace]155-candace is asleep now , and [I]0-i may tell [you]721-you about it ; only [we]722-we must both speak low , lest [she]155-candace should waken . This book was given [me]0-i by [Graham]135-graham ; it tells about [distant countries]723-distant countries , a long , long way from [England]19-england , which [no traveller]724-no traveller can reach without sailing thousands of miles over [the sea]725-the sea . [Wild men]726-wild men live in [these countries]727-these countries , [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , who wear clothes different from [ours]722-we : indeed , some of [them]726-wild men wear scarcely any clothes , for the sake of being cool , [you]721-you know ; for [they]726-wild men have very hot weather . Here is a picture of thousands gathered in a desolate place - [a plain , spread with sand]728-a plain , spread with sand - round [a man in black]729-a man in black , - [a good , good Englishman]730-a good , good englishman - [a missionary]731-a missionary , who is preaching to [them]726-wild men under a palm - tree . " [She]142-lucy showed a little coloured cut to that effect . "[731-a missionary] And here are pictures " [she]142-lucy went on "[731-a missionary] more stranger " grammar was occasionally forgotten "[731-a missionary] than that . There is [the wonderful Great Wall of [China]20-china]732-the wonderful great wall of china ; here is [a Chinese lady]733-a chinese lady , with a foot littler than [mine]734-mine . There is a wild horse of [Tartary]21-tartary ; and here , most strange of all - is [a land of ice and snow]735-a land of ice and snow , without [green fields , woods]736-green fields , woods , or [gardens]737-gardens . In [this land]738-this land , [they]739-they found some mammoth bones : there are no mammoths now . [You]721-you do n't know what it was ; but [I]0-i can tell [you]721-you , because [Graham]135-graham told [me]0-i . A mighty , goblin creature , as high as [this room]740-this room , and as long as [the hall]573-the hall ; but not a fierce , flesh- eating thing , [Graham]135-graham thinks . [He]135-graham believes , if [I]0-i met one in [a forest]742-a forest , it would not kill [me]0-i , unless [I]0-i came quite in its way ; when it would trample [me]0-i down amongst the bushes , as [I]0-i might tread on a grasshopper in a hayfield without knowing it . " Thus [she]141-paulina rambled on . "[141-paulina] [Polly]141-paulina , " [I]141-paulina interrupted , ' should [you]141-paulina like to travel ? "[141-paulina] " Not just yet , "[141-paulina] was the prudent answer ; " but perhaps in twenty years , when [I]141-paulina am grown [a woman]4363-a woman , as tall as [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , [I]141-paulina may travel with [Graham]135-graham . [We]4364-we intend going to [Switzerland]22-switzerland , and climbing [Mount Blanck]23-mount blanck ; and some day [we]4364-we shall sail over to [South America]24-south america , and walk to [the top of [Kim - kim - borazo]156-kim - kim - borazo]4365-the top of kim - kim - borazo . "[141-paulina] " But how would [you]141-paulina like to travel now , if [[your]141-paulina papa]4366-your papa was with [you]141-paulina ? "[141-paulina] [Her]141-paulina reply - not given till after a pause - evinced one of those unexpected turns of temper peculiar to [her]141-paulina . " Where is the good of talking in that silly way ? "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina . " Why do [you]141-paulina mention [papa]4218-papa ? What is [papa]4218-papa to [you]141-paulina ? [I]141-paulina was just beginning to be happy , and not think about [him]4218-papa so much ; and there it will be all to do over again ! "[141-paulina] [Her]141-paulina lip trembled . [I]0-i hastened to disclose the fact of a letter having been received , and to mention the directions given that [she]141-paulina and [Harriet]137-harriet should immediately rejoin [this dear papa]743-this dear papa . " Now , [Polly]141-paulina , are [you]141-paulina not glad ? "[0-i] [I]0-i added . [She]141-paulina made no answer . [She]141-paulina dropped [her]141-paulina book and ceased to rock [her]141-paulina doll ; [she]141-paulina gazed at [me]0-i with gravity and earnestness . " Shall not [you]0-i like to go to [papa]4218-papa ? "[141-paulina] " Of course , "[141-paulina] [she]141-paulina said at last in that trenchant manner [she]141-paulina usually employed in speaking to [me]0-i ; and which was quite different from that [she]141-paulina used with [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , and different again from the one dedicated to [Graham]135-graham . [I]0-i wished to ascertain more of what [she]141-paulina thought but no : [she]141-paulina would converse no more . Hastening to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , [she]141-paulina questioned [her]130-mrs. bretton , and received the confirmation of [my]0-i news . The weight and importance of these tidings kept [her]141-paulina perfectly serious the whole day . In the evening , at the moment [Graham]135-graham 's entrance was heard below , [I]0-i found [her]141-paulina at [my]0-i side . [She]141-paulina began to arrange a locket - ribbon about [my]0-i neck , [she]141-paulina displaced and replaced the comb in [my]0-i hair ; while thus busied , [Graham]135-graham entered . " Tell [him]135-graham by - and - by , "[141-paulina] [she]141-paulina whispered ; " tell [him]135-graham [I]141-paulina am going . "[141-paulina] In the course of tea - time [I]0-i made the desired communication . [Graham]135-graham , it chanced , was at that time greatly preoccupied about some school - prize , for which [he]135-graham was competing . The news had to be told twice before it took proper hold of [his]135-graham attention , and even then [he]135-graham dwelt on it but momently . " [Polly]141-paulina going ? What a pity ! [Dear little Mousie]157-dear little mousie , [I]135-graham shall be sorry to lose [her]141-paulina : [she]141-paulina must come to [us]4370-us again , [mamma]4272-mamma . "[135-graham] And hastily swallowing [his]135-graham tea , [he]135-graham took a candle and a small table to [himself]135-graham and [his]135-graham books , and was soon buried in study . " [Little Mousie]157-dear little mousie "[744-her] crept to [his]135-graham side , and lay down on the carpet at [his]135-graham feet , [her]744-her face to the floor ; mute and motionless [she]744-her kept that post and position till bed - time . Once [I]0-i saw [Graham]135-graham - wholly unconscious of [her]744-her proximity - push [her]744-her with [his]135-graham restless foot . [She]744-her receded an inch or two . A minute after one little hand stole out from beneath [her]744-her face , to which it had been pressed , and softly caressed the heedless foot . When summoned by [[her]744-her nurse]596-her nurse [she]744-her rose and departed very obediently , having bid [us]746-us all a subdued good - night . [I]0-i will not say that [I]0-i dreaded going to bed , an hour later ; yet [I]0-i certainly went with an unquiet anticipation that [I]0-i should find [that child]617-that child in no peaceful sleep . The forewarning of [my]0-i instinct was but fulfilled , when [I]0-i discovered [her]744-her , all cold and vigilant , perched like a white bird on the outside of the bed . [I]0-i scarcely knew how to accost [her]744-her ; [she]744-her was not to be managed like [another child]748-another child . [She]744-her , however , accosted [me]0-i . As [I]0-i closed the door , and put the light on the dressing- table , [she]744-her turned tome with these words : - " [I]744-her can not - can not sleep ; and in this way [I]744-her can not - can not live ! "[744-her] [I]0-i asked what ailed [her]744-her . " Dedful miz - er - y ! "[744-her] said [she]744-her , with [her]744-her piteous lisp . " Shall [I]744-her call [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ? "[744-her] " That is downright silly , "[744-her] was [her]744-her impatient reply ; and , indeed , [I]0-i well knew that if [she]744-her had heard [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's foot approach , [she]744-her would have nestled quiet as a mouse under the bedclothes . Whilst lavishing [her]744-her eccentricities regardlessly before [me]0-i - for whom [she]744-her professed scarcely the semblance of affection - [she]744-her never showed [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother one glimpse of [her]744-her inner self : for [her]744-her , [she]744-her was nothing but [a docile , somewhat quaint little maiden]750-a docile , somewhat quaint little maiden . [I]0-i examined [her]744-her ; [her]744-her cheek was crimson ; [her]744-her dilated eye was both troubled and glowing , and painfully restless : in this state it was obvious [she]744-her must not be left till morning . [I]0-i guessed how the case stood . " Would [you]744-her like to bid [Graham]135-graham good - night again ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " [He]135-graham is not gone to [[his]135-graham room]4372-his room yet . "[744-her] [She]744-her at once stretched out [her]744-her little arms to be lifted . Folding a shawl round [her]744-her , [I]0-i carried [her]744-her back to [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room . [Graham]135-graham was just coming out . " [She]744-her can not sleep without seeing and speaking to [you]744-her once more , "[0-i] [I]0-i said . " [She]744-her does not like the thought of leaving [you]744-her . "[0-i] " [I]135-graham 've spoilt [her]744-her , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham , taking [her]744-her from [me]0-i with good humour , and kissing [her]744-her little hot face and burning lips . " [Polly]141-paulina , [you]141-paulina care for [me]135-graham more than for [papa]4218-papa , now - "[135-graham] " [I]744-her do care for [you]744-her , but [you]744-her care nothing for [me]744-her , "[744-her] was [her]744-her whisper . [She]744-her was assured to the contrary , again kissed , restored to [me]0-i , and [I]0-i carried [her]744-her away ; but , alas ! not soothed . When [I]0-i thought [she]744-her could listen to [me]0-i , [I]0-i said - " [Paulina]141-paulina , [you]141-paulina should not grieve that [Graham]135-graham does not care for [you]141-paulina so much as [you]141-paulina care for [him]135-graham . It must be so . "[0-i] [Her]744-her lifted and questioning eyes asked why . " Because [he]135-graham is [a boy]4374-a boy and [you]141-paulina are [a girl]517-a girl ; [he]135-graham is sixteen and [you]141-paulina are only six ; [his]135-graham nature is strong and gay , and [yours]141-paulina is otherwise . "[744-her] " But [I]0-i love [him]135-graham so much ; [he]135-graham should love [me]0-i a little . "[0-i] " [He]135-graham does . [He]135-graham is fond of [you]141-paulina . [You]141-paulina are [his]135-graham favourite . "[0-i] " Am [I]744-her [Graham]135-graham 's favourite ? "[744-her] " Yes , more than [any little child]4376-any little child [I]0-i know . "[0-i] The assurance soothed [her]752-i ; [she]752-i smiled in [her]752-i anguish . " But , "[0-i] [I]0-i continued , " do n't fret , and do n't expect too much of [him]135-graham , or else [he]135-graham will feel [you]752-i to be troublesome , and then it is all over . "[0-i] " All over ! "[752-i] [she]752-i echoed softly ; " then [I]752-i 'll be good . [I]752-i 'll try to be good , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy . "[752-i] [I]0-i put [her]752-i to bed . " Will [he]135-graham forgive [me]752-i this one time ? "[752-i] [she]752-i asked , as [I]0-i undressed [myself]0-i . [I]0-i assured [her]752-i that [he]753-he would ; that as yet [he]753-he was by no means alienated ; that [she]752-i had only to be careful for the future . " There is no future , "[752-i] said [she]752-i : " [I]752-i am going . Shall [I]752-i ever - ever - see [him]753-he again , after [I]752-i leave [England]19-england ? "[752-i] [I]0-i returned an encouraging response . The candle being extinguished , a still half - hour elapsed . [I]0-i thought [her]752-i asleep , when the little white shape once more lifted itself in the crib , and the small voice asked - " Do [you]0-i like [Graham]135-graham , [Miss Snowe]142-lucy ? "[752-i] " Like [him]135-graham ! Yes , a little . "[752-i] " Only a little ! Do [you]0-i like [him]135-graham as [I]752-i do ? "[752-i] " [I]752-i think not . No : not as [you]0-i do . "[752-i] " Do [you]0-i like [him]135-graham much ? "[752-i] " [I]752-i told [you]0-i [I]752-i liked [him]135-graham a little . Where is the use of caring for [him]135-graham so very much : [he]135-graham is full of faults . "[752-i] " Is [he]135-graham ? "[752-i] " [All boys]4377-all boys are . "[752-i] " More than [girls]702-girls ? "[752-i] " Very likely . [Wise people]4379-wise people say it is folly to think [anybody perfect]4380-anybody perfect ; and as to likes and dislikes , [we]4381-we should be friendly to [all]4382-all , and worship [none]4383-none . "[752-i] " Are [you]0-i [a wise person]4384-a wise person ? "[752-i] " [I]752-i mean to try to be so . Go to sleep . "[752-i] " [I]752-i can not go to sleep . Have [you]0-i no pain just here "[752-i] laying [her]754-she elfish hand on [her]754-she elfish breast , " when [you]0-i think [you]0-i shall have to leave [Graham]135-graham ; for [[your]0-i home]4385-your home is not here ? "[752-i] " Surely , [Polly]141-paulina , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , " [you]141-paulina should not feel so much pain when [you]141-paulina are very soon going to rejoin [[your]141-paulina father]4386-your father . Have [you]141-paulina forgotten [him]4386-your father ? Do [you]141-paulina no longer wish to be [[his]4386-your father little companion]4387-his little companion ? "[0-i] Dead silence succeeded this question . " [Child]654-child , lie down and sleep , "[0-i] [I]0-i urged . " [My]754-she bed is cold , "[754-she] said [she]754-she . " [I]754-she ca n't warm it . "[754-she] [I]0-i saw the little thing shiver . " Come to [me]0-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , wishing , yet scarcely hoping , that [she]754-she would comply : for [she]754-she was [a most strange , capricious , little creature]755-a most strange , capricious , little creature , and especially whimsical with [me]0-i . [She]754-she came , however , instantly , like a small ghost gliding over the carpet . [I]0-i took [her]754-she in . [She]754-she was chill : [I]0-i warmed [her]754-she in [my]0-i arms . [She]754-she trembled nervously ; [I]0-i soothed [her]754-she . Thus tranquillized and cherished [she]754-she at last slumbered . " [A very unique child]4389-a very unique child , "[0-i] thought [I]0-i , as [I]0-i viewed [her]754-she sleeping countenance by the fitful moonlight , and cautiously and softly wiped [her]754-she glittering eyelids and [her]754-she wet cheeks with [my]0-i handkerchief . " How will [she]754-she get through [this world]4390-this world , or battle with this life ? How will [she]754-she bear the shocks and repulses , the humiliations and desolations , which books , and [my]754-she own reason , tell [me]754-she are prepared for all flesh ? "[754-she] [She]754-she departed the next day ; trembling like a leaf when [she]754-she took leave , but exercising self - command . CHAPTER IV . [MISS MARCHMONT]158-miss marchmont . On quitting [Bretton]135-graham , which [I]0-i did a few weeks after [Paulina]141-paulina 's departure - little thinking then [I]0-i was never again to visit [it]135-graham ; never more to tread [[its]135-graham calm old streets]756-its calm old streets - [I]0-i betook [myself]0-i [home]542-home , having been absent six months . It will be conjectured that [I]0-i was of course glad to return to the bosom of [[my]0-i kindred]758-my kindred . Well ! the amiable conjecture does no harm , and may therefore be safely left uncontradicted . Far from saying nay , indeed , [I]0-i will permit [the reader]759-the reader to picture [me]0-i , for the next eight years , as a bark slumbering through [halcyon]25-halcyon weather , in a harbour still as glass - [the steersman]760-the steersman stretched on [the little deck]761-the little deck , [his]760-the steersman face up to heaven , [his]760-the steersman eyes closed : buried , if [you]762-you will , in a long prayer . [A great many women]763-a great many women and [girls]702-girls are supposed to pass [their]763-a great many women lives something in that fashion ; why not [I]0-i with the rest ? Picture [me]0-i then idle , basking , plump , and happy , stretched on a cushioned deck , warmed with constant sunshine , rocked by breezes indolently soft . However , it can not be concealed that , in that case , [I]0-i must somehow have fallen overboard , or that there must have been wreck at last . [I]0-i too well remember a time - a long time - of cold , of danger , of contention . To this hour , when [I]0-i have the nightmare , it repeats the rush and saltness of briny waves in [my]0-i throat , and their icy pressure on [my]0-i lungs . [I]0-i even know there was a storm , and that not of one hour nor one day . For many days and nights neither sun nor stars appeared ; [we]765-our cast with [our]765-our own hands the tackling out of [the ship]766-the ship ; a heavy tempest lay on [us]765-our ; all hope that [we]765-our should be saved was taken away . In fine , [the ship]766-the ship was lost , [the crew]768-the crew perished . As far as [I]0-i recollect , [I]0-i complained to [no one about these troubles]769-no one about these troubles . Indeed , to whom could [I]0-i complain ? Of [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton [I]0-i had long lost sight . Impediments , raised by [others]770-others , had , years ago , come in the way of [our]765-our intercourse , and cut it off . Besides , time had brought changes for [her]130-mrs. bretton , too : the handsome property of which [she]130-mrs. bretton was left guardian for [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son , and which had been chiefly invested in some joint - stock undertaking , had melted , it was said , to a fraction of its original amount . [Graham]135-graham , [I]0-i learned from incidental rumours , had adopted a profession ; both [he]135-graham and [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother were gone from [Bretton]135-graham , and were understood to be now in [London]2-london . Thus , there remained no possibility of dependence on [others]770-others ; to [myself]0-i alone could [I]0-i look . [I]0-i know not that [I]0-i was of a self - reliant or active nature ; but self - reliance and exertion were forced upon [me]0-i by circumstances , as they are upon thousands besides ; and when [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont , [a maiden lady of [[our]765-our neighbourhood]775-our neighbourhood]774-a maiden lady of our neighbourhood , sent for [me]0-i , [I]0-i obeyed [her]158-miss marchmont behest , in the hope that [she]158-miss marchmont might assign [me]0-i some task [I]0-i could undertake . [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont was [a woman of fortune]776-a woman of fortune , and lived in [a handsome residence]777-a handsome residence ; but [she]158-miss marchmont was [a rheumatic cripple , impotent , foot and hand]778-a rheumatic cripple , impotent , foot and hand , and had been so for twenty years . [She]158-miss marchmont always sat [upstairs]4304-upstairs : [[her]158-miss marchmont drawing - room]780-her drawing - room adjoined [[her]158-miss marchmont bed - room]781-her bed - room . [I]0-i had often heard of [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont , and of [her]158-miss marchmont peculiarities [she]158-miss marchmont had the character of being very eccentric , but till now had never seen [her]158-miss marchmont . [I]0-i found [her]158-miss marchmont [a furrowed , grey - haired woman , grave with solitude , stern with long affliction , irritable also , and perhaps exacting]782-a furrowed , grey - haired woman , grave with solitude , stern with long affliction , irritable also , and perhaps exacting . It seemed that [a maid]783-a maid , or rather companion , who had waited on [her]158-miss marchmont for some years , was about to be married ; and [she]158-miss marchmont , hearing of [my]0-i bereaved lot , had sent for [me]0-i , with the idea that [I]0-i might supply [[this person]784-this person 's place]785-this person 's place . [She]158-miss marchmont made the proposal to [me]0-i after tea , as [she]158-miss marchmont and [I]0-i sat alone by [her]158-miss marchmont fireside . " It will not be an easy life ; "[158-miss marchmont] said [she]158-miss marchmont candidly , " for [I]158-miss marchmont require a good deal of attention , and [you]0-i will be much confined ; yet , perhaps , contrasted with the existence [you]0-i have lately led , it may appear tolerable . "[158-miss marchmont] [I]0-i reflected . Of course it ought to appear tolerable , [I]0-i argued inwardly ; but somehow , by some strange fatality , it would not . To live [here]4212-here , in [this close room]787-this close room , [the watcher of suffering]788-the watcher of suffering - sometimes , perhaps , the butt of temper - through all that was to come of [my]0-i youth ; while all that was gone had passed , to say the least , not blissfully ! [My]0-i heart sunk one moment , then it revived ; for though [I]0-i forced [myself]0-i to realise evils , [I]0-i think [I]0-i was too prosaic to idealise , and consequently to exaggerate them . " [My]0-i doubt is whether [I]0-i should have strength for the undertaking , "[0-i] [I]0-i observed . " That is [my]158-miss marchmont own scruple , "[158-miss marchmont] said [she]158-miss marchmont ; " for [you]0-i look [a worn - out creature]4391-a worn - out creature . "[158-miss marchmont] So [I]0-i did . [I]0-i saw [myself]0-i in the glass , in [my]0-i mourning - dress , a faded , hollow - eyed vision . Yet [I]0-i thought little of the wan spectacle . The blight , [I]0-i believed , was chiefly external : [I]0-i still felt life at life 's sources . " What else have [you]0-i in view - anything ? "[0-i] " Nothing clear as yet : but [I]158-miss marchmont may find something . "[158-miss marchmont] " So [you]0-i imagine : perhaps [you]0-i are right . Try [your]0-i own method , then ; and if it does not succeed , test [mine]158-miss marchmont . The chance [I]0-i have offered shall be left open to [you]0-i for three months . "[0-i] This was kind . [I]0-i told [her]158-miss marchmont so , and expressed [my]0-i gratitude . While [I]0-i was speaking , a paroxysm of pain came on . [I]0-i ministered to [her]158-miss marchmont ; made the necessary applications , according to [her]158-miss marchmont directions , and , by the time [she]158-miss marchmont was relieved , a sort of intimacy was already formed between [us]789-us . [I]0-i , for [my]0-i part , had learned from the manner in which [she]158-miss marchmont bore this attack , that [she]158-miss marchmont was [a firm , patient woman patient under physical pain , though sometimes perhaps excitable under long mental canker]790-a firm , patient woman patient under physical pain , though sometimes perhaps excitable under long mental canker ; and [she]158-miss marchmont , from the good - will with which [I]0-i succoured [her]158-miss marchmont , discovered that [she]158-miss marchmont could influence [my]0-i sympathies such as they were . [She]158-miss marchmont sent for [me]0-i the next day ; for five or six successive days [she]158-miss marchmont claimed [my]0-i company . Closer acquaintance , while it developed both faults and eccentricities , opened , at the same time , a view of a character [I]0-i could respect . Stern and even morose as [she]158-miss marchmont sometimes was , [I]0-i could wait on [her]158-miss marchmont and sit beside [her]158-miss marchmont with that calm which always blesses [us]789-us when [we]789-us are sensible that [our]789-us manners , presence , contact , please and soothe [the persons [we]789-us serve]791-the persons we serve . Even when [she]158-miss marchmont scolded [me]0-i - which [she]158-miss marchmont did , now and then , very tartly - it was in such a way as did not humiliate , and left no sting ; it was rather like [an irascible mother]792-an irascible mother rating [[her]792-an irascible mother daughter]793-her daughter , than [a harsh mistress lecturing [a dependant]795-a dependant]794-a harsh mistress lecturing a dependant : lecture , indeed , [she]158-miss marchmont could not , though [she]158-miss marchmont could occasionally storm . Moreover , a vein of reason ever ran through [her]158-miss marchmont passion : [she]158-miss marchmont was logical even when fierce . Ere long a growing sense of attachment began to present the thought of staying with [her]158-miss marchmont as [companion]796-companion in quite a new light ; in another week [I]0-i had agreed to remain . [Two hot , close rooms]797-two hot , close rooms thus became [[my]0-i world]798-my world ; and [a crippled old woman]799-a crippled old woman , [[my]0-i mistress]800-my mistress , [[my]0-i friend]801-my friend , [my]0-i all . [Her]158-miss marchmont service was [my]0-i duty - [her]158-miss marchmont pain , [my]0-i suffering - [her]158-miss marchmont relief , [my]0-i hope - [her]158-miss marchmont anger , [my]0-i punishment - [her]158-miss marchmont regard , [my]0-i reward . [I]0-i forgot that there were [fields]802-fields , [woods]803-woods , [rivers , seas]804-rivers , seas , an ever - changing sky outside the steam - dimmed lattice of [this sick chamber]805-this sick chamber ; [I]0-i was almost content to forget it . All within [me]0-i became narrowed to [my]0-i lot . Tame and still by habit , disciplined by destiny , [I]0-i demanded no walks in the fresh air ; [my]0-i appetite needed no more than the tiny messes served for the invalid . In addition , [she]158-miss marchmont gave [me]0-i the originality of [her]158-miss marchmont character to study : the steadiness of [her]158-miss marchmont virtues , [I]0-i will add , the power of [her]158-miss marchmont passions , to admire ; the truth of [her]158-miss marchmont feelings to trust . All these things [she]158-miss marchmont had , and for these things [I]0-i clung to [her]158-miss marchmont . For these things [I]0-i would have crawled on with [her]158-miss marchmont for twenty years , if for twenty years longer [her]158-miss marchmont life of endurance had been protracted . But another decree was written . It seemed [I]0-i must be stimulated into action . [I]0-i must be goaded , driven , stung , forced to energy . [My]0-i little morsel of human affection , which [I]0-i prized as if it were a solid pearl , must melt in [my]0-i fingers and slip thence like a dissolving hailstone . [My]0-i small adopted duty must be snatched from [my]0-i easily contented conscience . [I]0-i had wanted to compromise with [Fate]159-fate : to escape occasional great agonies by submitting to a whole life of privation and small pains . [Fate]159-fate would not so be pacified ; nor would [Providence]160-providence sanction this shrinking sloth and cowardly indolence . One February night - [I]0-i remember it well - there came a voice near [[Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont 's house]806-miss marchmont 's house , heard by [every inmate]807-every inmate , but translated , perhaps , only by one . After a calm winter , storms were ushering in the spring . [I]0-i had put [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont to bed ; [I]0-i sat at the fireside sewing . The wind was wailing at the windows ; it had wailed all day ; but , as night deepened , it took a new tone - an accent keen , piercing , almost articulate to the ear ; a plaint , piteous and disconsolate to the nerves , trilled in every gust . " Oh , hush ! hush ! "[0-i] [I]0-i said in [my]0-i disturbed mind , dropping [my]0-i work , and making a vain effort to stop [my]0-i ears against that subtle , searching cry . [I]0-i had heard that very voice ere this , and compulsory observation had forced on [me]0-i a theory as to what it boded . Three times in the course of [my]0-i life , events had taught [me]0-i that these strange accents in the storm - this restless , hopeless cry - denote a coming state of the atmosphere unpropitious to life . Epidemic diseases , [I]0-i believed , were often heralded by [a gasping , sobbing , tormented , long - lamenting east wind]808-a gasping , sobbing , tormented , long - lamenting east wind . Hence , [I]0-i inferred , arose the legend of [the Banshee]161-the banshee . [I]0-i fancied , too , [I]0-i had noticed - but was not philosopher enough to know whether there was any connection between the circumstances - that [we]809-we often at the same time hear of disturbed volcanic action in [distant parts of [the world]811-the world]810-distant parts of the world ; of rivers suddenly rushing above [their]812-their banks ; and of strange high tides flowing furiously in on [low sea - coasts]813-low sea - coasts . " [[Our]809-we globe]4392-our globe , "[0-i] [I]0-i had said to [myself]0-i , ' seems at such periods torn and disordered ; the feeble amongst [us]809-we wither in [her]814-i distempered breath , rushing hot from steaming volcanoes . " [I]814-i listened and trembled ; [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont slept . About midnight , the storm in one half - hour fell to a dead calm . The fire , which had been burning dead , glowed up vividly . [I]814-i felt the air change , and become keen . Raising blind and curtain , [I]814-i looked out , and saw in the stars the keen sparkle of a sharp frost . Turning away , the object that met [my]814-i eyes was [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont awake , lifting [her]158-miss marchmont head from the pillow , and regarding [me]814-i with unusual earnestness . "[814-i] Is it a fine night ? " [she]158-miss marchmont asked . [I]0-i replied in the affirmative . "[0-i] [I]0-i thought so , " [she]158-miss marchmont said ; "[0-i] for [I]0-i feel so strong , so well . Raise [me]0-i . [I]0-i feel young to - night , " [she]158-miss marchmont continued : "[0-i] young , light - hearted , and happy . What if [my]0-i complaint be about to take a turn , and [I]0-i am yet destined to enjoy health ? It would be a miracle ! " "[815-i] And these are not the days of miracles , " [I]815-i thought to [myself]815-i , and wondered to hear [her]158-miss marchmont talk so . [She]158-miss marchmont went on directing [her]158-miss marchmont conversation to the past , and seeming to recall its incidents , scenes , and personages , with singular vividness . "[815-i] " [I]815-i love [Memory]162-memory to - night , "[815-i] [she]815-i said : " [I]815-i prize [her]158-miss marchmont as [[my]815-i best friend]4393-my best friend . [She]158-miss marchmont is just now giving [me]815-i a deep delight : [she]158-miss marchmont is bringing back to [my]815-i heart , in warm and beautiful life , realities - not mere empty ideas , but what were once realities , and that [I]815-i long have thought decayed , dissolved , mixed in with grave - mould . [I]815-i possess just now the hours , the thoughts , the hopes of [my]815-i youth . [I]815-i renew the love of [my]815-i life - its only love - almost its only affection ; for [I]815-i am not [a particularly good woman]4394-a particularly good woman : [I]815-i am not amiable . Yet [I]815-i have had [my]815-i feelings , strong and concentrated ; and these feelings had [their]4395-their object ; which , in its single self , was dear to [me]815-i , as to [the majority of [men]4397-men and [women]4398-women]4396-the majority of men and women , are all the unnumbered points on which [they]4396-the majority of men and women dissipate [their]4396-the majority of men and women regard . While [I]815-i loved , and while [I]815-i was loved , what an existence [I]815-i enjoyed ! What a glorious year [I]815-i can recall - how bright it comes back to [me]815-i ! What a living spring - what a warm , glad summer - what soft moonlight , silvering the autumn evenings - what strength of hope under the ice- bound waters and frost - hoar fields of that year 's winter ! Through that year [my]815-i heart lived with [Frank]163-frank 's heart . O [[my]815-i noble [Frank]163-frank]4399-my noble frank - [my]815-i faithful [Frank]163-frank - [my]815-i good [Frank]163-frank ! so much better than [myself]815-i - [his]163-frank standard in all things so much higher ! This [I]815-i can now see and say : if [few women]4400-few women have suffered as [I]815-i did in [his]163-frank loss , [few]4401-few have enjoyed what [I]815-i did in [his]163-frank love . It was a far better kind of love than common ; [I]815-i had no doubts about it or [him]163-frank : it was such a love as honoured , protected , and elevated , no less than it gladdened [her]4402-her to whom it was given . Let [me]815-i now ask , just at this moment , when [my]815-i mind is so strangely clear , - let [me]815-i reflect why it was taken from [me]815-i ? For what crime was [I]815-i condemned , after twelve months of bliss , to undergo thirty years of sorrow ? "[815-i] [I]0-i do not know , " [she]4402-her continued after a pause : "[815-i] [I]0-i can not - can not see the reason ; yet at this hour [I]0-i can say with sincerity , what [I]0-i never tried to say before , Inscrutable [God]164-god , [Thy]816-thy will be done ! And at this moment [I]0-i can believe that death will restore [me]0-i to [Frank]163-frank . [I]0-i never believed it till now . " "[163-frank] [He]163-frank is dead , then ? " [I]163-frank inquired in a low voice . "[163-frank] [[My]0-i dear girl]817-my dear girl , " [she]4403-she said , "[163-frank] one happy Christmas Eve [I]0-i dressed and decorated [myself]0-i , expecting [[my]0-i lover]818-my lover , very soon to be [[my]0-i husband]819-my husband , would come that night to visit [me]0-i . [I]0-i sat down to wait . Once more [I]0-i see that moment - [I]0-i see the snow twilight stealing through the window over which the curtain was not dropped , for [I]0-i designed to watch [him]163-frank ride up [the white walk]820-the white walk ; [I]0-i see and feel the soft firelight warming [me]0-i , playing on [my]0-i silk dress , and fitfully showing [me]0-i [my]0-i own young figure in a glass . [I]0-i see the moon of a calm winter night , float full , clear , and cold , over the inky mass of shrubbery , and the silvered turf of [[my]0-i grounds]821-my grounds . [I]0-i wait , with some impatience in [my]0-i pulse , but no doubt in [my]0-i breast . The flames had died in the fire , but it was a bright mass yet ; the moon was mounting high , but [she]822-she was still visible from the lattice ; the clock neared ten ; [he]163-frank rarely tarried later than this , but once or twice [he]163-frank had been delayed so long . " Would [he]163-frank for once fail [me]0-i ? No - not even for once ; and now [he]163-frank was coming - and coming fast - to atone for lost time . ' [Frank]163-frank ! [you]163-frank furious rider , ' [I]0-i said inwardly , listening gladly , yet anxiously , to [his]163-frank approaching gallop , ' [you]163-frank shall be rebuked for this : [I]0-i will tell [you]163-frank it is [my]0-i neck [you]163-frank are putting in peril ; for whatever is [yours]163-frank is , in a dearer and tenderer sense , [mine]0-i . ' There [he]163-frank was : [I]0-i saw [him]163-frank ; but [I]0-i think tears were in [my]0-i eyes , [my]0-i sight was so confused . [I]0-i saw the horse ; [I]0-i heard it stamp - [I]0-i saw at least a mass ; [I]0-i heard a clamour . Was it a horse ? or what heavy , dragging thing was it , crossing , strangely dark , [the lawn]4404-the lawn . How could [I]0-i name that thing in the moonlight before [me]0-i ? or how could [I]0-i utter the feeling which rose in [my]0-i soul ? "[0-i] [I]0-i could only run out . A great animal - truly , [Frank]163-frank 's black horse - stood trembling , panting , snorting before the door ; [a man]823-a man held it [Frank]163-frank , as [I]0-i thought . " ' What is the matter ? ' [I]823-a man demanded . [Thomas]165-thomas , [[my]823-a man own servant]4405-my own servant , answered by saying sharply , ' Go into [the house]518-the house , [madam]4242-madam . ' And then calling to [another servant]4408-another servant , who came hurrying from [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen as if summoned by some instinct , ' [Ruth]166-ruth , take [missis]4410-missis into [the house]518-the house directly . ' But [I]823-a man was kneeling down in the snow , beside something that lay there - something that [I]823-a man had seen dragged along the ground - something that sighed , that groaned on [my]823-a man breast , as [I]823-a man lifted and drew it to ms . [He]163-frank was not dead ; [he]163-frank was not quite unconscious . [I]823-a man had [him]163-frank carried in ; [I]823-a man refused to be ordered about and thrust from [him]163-frank . [I]823-a man was quite collected enough , not only to be [[my]823-a man own mistress]4412-my own mistress but [the mistress of [others]770-others]4413-the mistress of others . [They]770-others had begun by trying to treat [me]823-a man like [a child]4415-a child , as [they]770-others always do with people struck by [God]164-god 's hand ; but [I]823-a man gave place to none except [the surgeon]4416-the surgeon ; and when [he]4416-the surgeon had done what [he]4416-the surgeon could , [I]823-a man took [my]823-a man dying [Frank]163-frank to [myself]823-a man . [He]163-frank had strength to fold [me]823-a man in [his]163-frank arms ; [he]163-frank had power to speak [my]823-a man name ; [he]163-frank heard [me]823-a man as [I]823-a man prayed over [him]163-frank very softly ; [he]163-frank felt [me]823-a man as [I]823-a man tenderly and fondly comforted [him]163-frank . "[823-a man] ' [Maria]139-polly , ' [he]824-he said , ' [I]0-i am dying in [Paradise]26-paradise . ' [He]824-he spent [his]824-he last breath in faithful words for [me]0-i . When the dawn of Christmas morning broke , [[my]0-i [Frank]163-frank]825-my frank was with [God]164-god . " And that , "[826-i] [she]826-i went on , " happened thirty years ago . [I]826-i have suffered since . [I]826-i doubt if [I]826-i have made the best use of all [my]826-i calamities . Soft , amiable natures [they]4417-they would have refined to saintliness ; of [strong , evil spirits]4418-strong , evil spirits [they]4417-they would have made demons ; as for [me]826-i , [I]826-i have only been [a woe - struck and selfish woman]4419-a woe - struck and selfish woman . "[826-i] " [You]826-i have done much good , "[0-i] [I]0-i said ; for [she]826-i was noted for [her]826-i liberal almsgiving . " [I]826-i have not withheld money , [you]0-i mean , where it could assuage affliction . What of that ? It cost [me]826-i no effort or pang to give . But [I]826-i think from this day [I]826-i am about to enter a better frame of mind , to prepare [myself]826-i for reunion with [Frank]163-frank . [You]0-i see [I]826-i still think of [Frank]163-frank more than of [God]164-god ; and unless it be counted that in thus loving the creature so much , so long , and so exclusively , [I]826-i have not at least blasphemed [the Creator]4420-the creator , small is [my]826-i chance of salvation . What do [you]0-i think , [Lucy]142-lucy , of these things ? Be [[my]826-i chaplain]4421-my chaplain , and tell [me]826-i . "[826-i] This question [I]0-i could not answer : [I]0-i had no words . It seemed as if [she]827-she thought [I]0-i had answered it . " Very right , [[my]828-i child]4422-my child . [We]4423-we should acknowledge [God]164-god merciful , but not always for [us]4423-we comprehensible . [We]4423-we should accept [our]4423-we own lot , whatever it be , and try to render happy that of [others]770-others . Should [we]4423-we not ? Well , to - morrow [I]828-i will begin by trying to make [you]0-i happy . [I]828-i will endeavour to do something for [you]0-i , [Lucy]142-lucy : something that will benefit [you]0-i when [I]828-i am dead . [My]828-i head aches now with talking too much ; still [I]828-i am happy . Go to bed . The clock strikes two . How late [you]0-i sit up ; or rather how late [I]828-i , in [my]828-i selfishness , keep [you]0-i up . But go now ; have no more anxiety for [me]828-i ; [I]828-i feel [I]828-i shall rest well . "[828-i] [She]828-i composed [herself]828-i as if to slumber . [I]0-i , too , retired to [[my]0-i crib]829-my crib in [a closet within [[her]828-i room]831-her room]830-a closet within her room . The night passed in quietness ; quietly [her]828-i doom must at last have come : peacefully and painlessly : in the morning [she]828-i was found without life , nearly cold , but all calm and undisturbed . [Her]828-i previous excitement of spirits and change of mood had been the prelude of a fit ; one stroke sufficed to sever the thread of an existence so long fretted by affliction . CHAPTER V. TURNING A NEW LEAF . [[My]0-i mistress]800-my mistress being dead , and [I]0-i once more alone , [I]0-i had to look out for [a new place]833-a new place . About this time [I]0-i might be a little - a very little - shaken in nerves . [I]0-i grant [I]0-i was not looking well , but , on the contrary , thin , haggard , and hollow - eyed ; like [a sitter - up at night]834-a sitter - up at night , like [an overwrought servant]835-an overwrought servant , or [a placeless person in debt]836-a placeless person in debt . In debt , however , [I]0-i was not ; nor quite poor ; for though [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont had not had time to benefit [me]0-i , as , on that last night , [she]158-miss marchmont said [she]158-miss marchmont intended , yet , after the funeral , [my]0-i wages were duly paid by [[her]158-miss marchmont second cousin]837-her second cousin , [the heir]838-the heir , [an avaricious - looking man , with pinched nose and narrow temples]839-an avaricious - looking man , with pinched nose and narrow temples , who , indeed , [I]0-i heard long afterwards , turned out a thorough miser : a direct contrast to [[his]839-an avaricious - looking man , with pinched nose and narrow temples generous kinswoman]840-his generous kinswoman , and a foil to [her]158-miss marchmont memory , blessed to this day by [the poor and needy]841-the poor and needy . [The possessor , then , of fifteen pounds]842-the possessor , then , of fifteen pounds ; of health , though worn , not broken , and of [a spirit in similar condition]843-a spirit in similar condition ; [I]0-i might still ; in comparison with [many people]844-many people , be regarded as occupying an enviable position . An embarrassing one it was , however , at the same time ; as [I]0-i felt with some acuteness on a certain day , of which the corresponding one in the next week was to see [my]0-i departure from [[my]0-i present abode]845-my present abode , while with another [I]0-i was not provided . In this dilemma [I]0-i went , as [a last and sole resource]846-a last and sole resource , to see and consult [an old servant of [[our]848-our family]849-our family]847-an old servant of our family ; once [[my]0-i nurse]850-my nurse , now housekeeper at [a grand mansion not far from [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont 's]851-a grand mansion not far from miss marchmont 's . [I]0-i spent some hours with [her]850-my nurse ; [she]850-my nurse comforted , but knew not how to advise [me]0-i . Still all inward darkness , [I]0-i left [her]850-my nurse about twilight ; a walk of two miles lay before [me]0-i ; it was a clear , frosty night . In spite of [my]0-i solitude , [my]0-i poverty , and [my]0-i perplexity , [my]0-i heart , nourished and nerved with the vigour of a youth that had not yet counted twenty - three summers , beat light and not feebly . Not feebly , [I]0-i am sure , or [I]0-i should have trembled in that lonely walk , which lay through [still fields]852-still fields , and passed [neither village]853-neither village nor [farmhouse]854-farmhouse , nor [cottage]855-cottage : [I]0-i should have quailed in the absence of moonlight , for it was by the leading of stars only [I]0-i traced the dim path ; [I]0-i should have quailed still more in the unwonted presence of that which to - night shone in the north , a moving mystery - the Aurora Borealis . But [this solemn stranger]856-this solemn stranger influenced [me]0-i otherwise than through [my]0-i fears . Some new power it seemed to bring . [I]0-i drew in energy with the keen , low breeze that blew on its path . A bold thought was sent to [my]0-i mind ; [my]0-i mind was made strong to receive it . " Leave [this wilderness]4425-this wilderness , "[0-i] it was said to [me]0-i , " and go out hence . "[0-i] " Where ? "[0-i] was the query . [I]0-i had not very far to look ; gazing from [this country parish]857-this country parish in [that flat , rich middle of [England]19-england]858-that flat , rich middle of england - [I]0-i mentally saw within reach what [I]0-i had never yet beheld with [my]0-i bodily eyes : [I]0-i saw [London]2-london . The next day [I]0-i returned to [the hall]573-the hall , and asking once more to see [the housekeeper]860-the housekeeper , [I]0-i communicated to [her]860-the housekeeper [my]0-i plan . [Mrs. Barrett]167-mrs. barrett was [a grave , judicious woman]861-a grave , judicious woman , though [she]167-mrs. barrett knew little more of [the world]811-the world than [myself]0-i ; but grave and judicious as [she]167-mrs. barrett was , [she]167-mrs. barrett did not charge [me]0-i with being out of [my]0-i senses ; and , indeed , [I]0-i had a staid manner of [my]0-i own which ere now had been as good to [me]0-i as cloak and hood of hodden grey , since under [its]863-its favour [I]0-i had been enabled to achieve with impunity , and even approbation , deeds that , if attempted with an excited and unsettled air , would in some minds have stamped [me]0-i as [a dreamer and zealot]864-a dreamer and zealot . [The housekeeper]860-the housekeeper was slowly propounding some difficulties , while [she]860-the housekeeper prepared orange - rind for marmalade , when [a child]4415-a child ran past the window and came bounding into [the room]600-the room . [It]4415-a child was [a pretty child]868-a pretty child , and as it danced , laughing , up to [me]0-i - for [we]869-we were not [strangers]870-strangers nor , indeed , was [[its]4415-a child mother]871-its mother - [a young married daughter of [the house]518-the house]872-a young married daughter of the house - [a stranger]874-a stranger - [I]0-i took it on [my]0-i knee . Different as were [our]869-we social positions now , [[this child]875-this child 's mother]876-this child 's mother and [I]0-i had been [schoolfellows]877-schoolfellows , when [I]0-i was [a girl of ten]878-a girl of ten and [she]876-this child 's mother [a young lady of sixteen]879-a young lady of sixteen ; and [I]0-i remembered [her]876-this child 's mother , good - looking , but dull , in a lower class than [mine]0-i . [I]0-i was admiring [the boy]880-the boy 's handsome dark eyes , when [the mother]881-the mother , [young Mrs. Leigh]168-young mrs. leigh , entered . What [a beautiful and kind - looking woman]882-a beautiful and kind - looking woman was [the good - natured and comely , but unintellectual , girl]883-the good - natured and comely , but unintellectual , girl become ! Wifehood and maternity had changed [her]876-this child 's mother thus , as [I]0-i have since seen [them]884-them change others even less promising than [she]876-this child 's mother . [Me]0-i [she]876-this child 's mother had forgotten . [I]0-i was changed too , though not , [I]0-i fear , for the better . [I]0-i made no attempt to recall [myself]0-i to [her]876-this child 's mother memory ; why should [I]0-i ? [She]876-this child 's mother came for [[her]876-this child 's mother son]532-her son to accompany [her]876-this child 's mother in a walk , and behind [her]876-this child 's mother followed [a nurse]886-a nurse , carrying [an infant]887-an infant . [I]0-i only mention the incident because , in addressing [the nurse]588-the nurse , [Mrs. Leigh]168-young mrs. leigh spoke French very bad French , by the way , and with an incorrigibly bad accent , again forcibly reminding [me]0-i of [our]889-our school- days : and [I]0-i found [the woman]890-the woman was [a foreigner]891-a foreigner . [The little boy]892-the little boy chattered volubly in French too . When [the whole party]893-the whole party were withdrawn , [Mrs. Barrett]167-mrs. barrett remarked that [[her]167-mrs. barrett young lady]894-her young lady had brought [that foreign nurse]895-that foreign nurse [home]542-home with [her]167-mrs. barrett two years ago , on [her]167-mrs. barrett return from a Continental excursion ; that [she]167-mrs. barrett was treated almost as well as [a governess]897-a governess , and had nothing to do but walk out with [the baby]898-the baby and chatter French with [Master Charles]169-charles ; " and , "[167-mrs. barrett] added [Mrs. Barrett]167-mrs. barrett , ' [she]167-mrs. barrett says there are many Englishwomen in [foreign families]899-foreign families as well placed as [she]167-mrs. barrett . " [I]167-mrs. barrett stored up this piece of casual information , as [careful housewives]4426-careful housewives store seemingly worthless shreds and fragments for which [their]4426-careful housewives prescient minds anticipate a possible use some day . Before [I]167-mrs. barrett left [[my]167-mrs. barrett old friend]4427-my old friend , [she]167-mrs. barrett gave [me]167-mrs. barrett the address of [a respectable old - fashioned inn in [the City]4429-the city]4428-a respectable old - fashioned inn in the city , which , [she]167-mrs. barrett said , [[my]167-mrs. barrett uncles]4430-my uncles used to frequent in former days . In going to [London]2-london , [I]167-mrs. barrett ran less risk and evinced less enterprise than [the reader]759-the reader may think . In fact , the distance was only fifty miles . [My]167-mrs. barrett means would suffice both to take [me]167-mrs. barrett [there]512-there , to keep [me]167-mrs. barrett a few days , and also to bring [me]167-mrs. barrett back if [I]167-mrs. barrett found no inducement to stay . [I]167-mrs. barrett regarded it as a brief holiday , permitted for once to work - weary faculties , rather than as an adventure of life and death . There is nothing like taking all [you]4433-you do at a moderate estimate : it keeps mind and body tranquil ; whereas grandiloquent notions are apt to hurry both into fever . Fifty miles were then a day 's journey for [I]167-mrs. barrett speak of a time gone by : [my]167-mrs. barrett hair , which , till a late period , withstood the frosts of time , lies now , at last white , under a white cap , like snow beneath snow . About nine o'clock of a wet February night [I]167-mrs. barrett reached [London]2-london . [[My]167-mrs. barrett reader]4434-my reader , [I]167-mrs. barrett know , is one who would not thank [me]167-mrs. barrett for an elaborate reproduction of poetic first impressions ; and it is well , inasmuch as [I]167-mrs. barrett had neither time nor mood to cherish such ; arriving as [I]167-mrs. barrett did late , on a dark , raw , and rainy evening , in [a Babylon]4435-a babylon and [a wilderness]4436-a wilderness , of which the vastness and the strangeness tried to the utmost any powers of clear thought and steady self - possession with which , in the absence of more brilliant faculties , Nature might have gifted [me]167-mrs. barrett . When [I]167-mrs. barrett left [the coach]565-the coach , the strange speech of [the cabmen]4438-the cabmen and others waiting round , seemed to [me]167-mrs. barrett odd as a foreign tongue . [I]167-mrs. barrett had never before heard the English language chopped up in that way . However , [I]167-mrs. barrett managed to understand and to be understood , so far as to get [myself]167-mrs. barrett and trunk safely conveyed to [the old inn]4439-the old inn whereof [I]167-mrs. barrett had the address . How difficult , how oppressive , how puzzling seemed [my]167-mrs. barrett flight ! In [London]2-london for the first time ; at [an inn]4440-an inn for the first time ; tired with travelling ; confused with darkness ; palsied with cold ; unfurnished with either experience or advice to tell [me]167-mrs. barrett how to act , and yet - to act obliged . Into the hands of common sense [I]167-mrs. barrett confided the matter . Common sense , however , was as chilled and bewildered as all [my]167-mrs. barrett other faculties , and it was only under the spur of an inexorable necessity that [she]4441-she spasmodically executed [her]4441-she trust . Thus urged , [she]4441-she paid [the porter]4442-the porter : considering the crisis , [I]167-mrs. barrett did not blame [her]4441-she too much that [she]4441-she was hugely cheated ; [she]4441-she asked [the waiter]4443-the waiter for [a room]612-a room ; [she]4441-she timorously called for [the chambermaid]4445-the chambermaid ; what is far more , [she]4441-she bore , without being wholly overcome , a highly supercilious style of demeanour from [that young lady]4227-that young lady , when [she]4441-she appeared . [I]167-mrs. barrett recollect [this same chambermaid]4447-this same chambermaid was a pattern of town prettiness and smartness . So trim [her]4441-she waist , [her]4441-she cap , [her]4441-she dress - [I]167-mrs. barrett wondered how they had all been manufactured . [Her]4441-she speech had an accent which in its mincing glibness seemed to rebuke [mine]167-mrs. barrett as by authority ; [her]4441-she spruce attire flaunted an easy scorn to [my]167-mrs. barrett plain country garb . "[167-mrs. barrett] Well , it ca n't be helped , " [I]167-mrs. barrett thought , "[167-mrs. barrett] and then the scene is new , and the circumstances ; [I]0-i shall gain good . " Maintaining a very quiet manner towards [this arrogant little maid]4448-this arrogant little maid , and subsequently observing the same towards [the parsonic - looking , black- coated , white - neckclothed waiter]4449-the parsonic - looking , black- coated , white - neckclothed waiter , [I]0-i got civility from [them]4450-they ere long . [I]0-i believe at first [they]4450-they thought [I]0-i was [a servant]564-a servant ; but in a little while [they]4450-they changed [their]4450-they minds , and hovered in a doubtful state between patronage and politeness . [I]0-i kept up well till [I]0-i had partaken of some refreshment , warmed [myself]0-i by a fire , and was fairly shut into [[my]0-i own room]4452-my own room ; but , as [I]0-i sat down by the bed and rested [my]0-i head and arms on the pillow , a terrible oppression overcame [me]0-i . All at once [my]0-i position rose on [me]0-i like a ghost . Anomalous , desolate , almost blank of hope it stood . What was [I]0-i doing here alone in great [London]2-london ? What should [I]0-i do on the morrow ? What prospects had [I]0-i in life ? What [friends]533-friends had [I]0-i on , [earth]4454-earth ? Whence did [I]0-i come ? Whither should [I]0-i go ? What should [I]0-i do ? [I]0-i wet the pillow , [my]0-i arms , and [my]0-i hair , with rushing tears . A dark interval of most bitter thought followed this burst ; but [I]0-i did not regret the step taken , nor wish to retract it A strong , vague persuasion that it was better to go forward than backward , and that [I]0-i could go forward - that a way , however narrow and difficult , would in time open - predominated over other feelings : its influence hushed them so far , that at last [I]0-i became sufficiently tranquil to be able to say [my]0-i prayers and seek [my]0-i couch . [I]0-i had just extinguished [my]0-i candle and lain down , when a deep , low , mighty tone swung through the night . At first [I]0-i knew it not ; but it was uttered twelve times , and at the twelfth colossal hum and trembling knell , [I]0-i said : "[0-i] [I]0-i lie in the shadow of [St. Paul]170-st. paul 's . " CHAPTER VI . [LONDON]2-london . The next day was the first of March , and when [I]0-i awoke , rose , and opened [my]0-i curtain , [I]0-i saw the risen sun struggling through fog . Above [my]0-i head , above [the house]518-the house - tops , co - elevate almost with the clouds , [I]0-i saw a solemn , orbed mass , dark blue and dim - THE DOME . While [I]0-i looked , [my]0-i inner self moved ; [my]0-i spirit shook its always - fettered wings half loose ; [I]0-i had a sudden feeling as if [I]0-i , who never yet truly lived , were at last about to taste life . In that morning [my]0-i soul grew as fast as [Jonah]171-jonah 's gourd . "[0-i] [I]0-i did well to come , " [I]0-i said , proceeding to dress with speed and care . "[0-i] [I]0-i like the spirit of [this great [London]2-london]900-this great london which [I]0-i feel around [me]0-i . Who but [a coward]901-a coward would pass [his]901-a coward whole life in hamlets ; and for ever abandon [his]901-a coward faculties to the eating rust of obscurity ? " Being dressed , [I]4221-ma'am went down ; not travel - worn and exhausted , but tidy and refreshed . When [the waiter]4443-the waiter came in with [my]4221-ma'am breakfast , [I]4221-ma'am managed to accost [him]4443-the waiter sedately , yet cheerfully ; [we]4457-we had ten minutes ' discourse , in the course of which [we]4457-we became usefully known to [each other]4318-each other . [He]4443-the waiter was [a grey - haired , elderly man]4459-a grey - haired , elderly man ; and , it seemed , had lived in [his]4443-the waiter present place twenty years . Having ascertained this , [I]4221-ma'am was sure [he]4443-the waiter must remember [[my]4221-ma'am two uncles]4460-my two uncles , [Charles]169-charles and [Wilmot]172-wilmot , who , fifteen , years ago , were frequent visitors [here]4212-here . [I]4221-ma'am mentioned [their]4460-my two uncles names ; [he]4443-the waiter recalled them perfectly , and with respect . Having intimated [my]4221-ma'am connection , [my]4221-ma'am position in [his]4443-the waiter eyes was henceforth clear , and on a right footing . [He]4443-the waiter said [I]4221-ma'am was like [[my]4221-ma'am uncle]4462-my uncle [Charles]169-charles : [I]4221-ma'am suppose [he]4443-the waiter spoke truth , because [Mrs. Barrett]167-mrs. barrett was accustomed to say the same thing . A ready and obliging courtesy now replaced [his]4443-the waiter former uncomfortably doubtful manner ; henceforth [I]4221-ma'am need no longer be at a loss for a civil answer to a sensible question . [The street on which [my]4221-ma'am little sitting - room window looked]4463-the street on which my little sitting - room window looked was narrow , perfectly quiet , and not dirty : [the few passengers]4464-the few passengers were just such as one sees in [provincial towns]4465-provincial towns : here was nothing formidable ; [I]4221-ma'am felt sure [I]4221-ma'am might venture out alone . Having breakfasted , out [I]4221-ma'am went . Elation and pleasure were in [my]4221-ma'am heart : to walk alone in [London]2-london seemed of itself an adventure . Presently [I]4221-ma'am found [myself]4221-ma'am in [Paternoster Row]27-paternoster row - classic ground this . [I]4221-ma'am entered [[a bookseller]4466-a bookseller 's shop]4467-a bookseller 's shop , kept by [one Jones]173-one jones : [I]4221-ma'am bought a little book - a piece of extravagance [I]4221-ma'am could ill afford ; but [I]4221-ma'am thought [I]4221-ma'am would one day give or send it to [Mrs. Barrett]167-mrs. barrett . [Mr. Jones]173-one jones , [a dried - in man of business]4468-a dried - in man of business , stood behind [his]173-one jones desk : [he]173-one jones seemed one of the greatest , and [I]4221-ma'am one of [the happiest of beings]4469-the happiest of beings . Prodigious was the amount of life [I]4221-ma'am lived that morning . Finding [myself]4221-ma'am before [St. Paul 's]170-st. paul , [I]4221-ma'am went in ; [I]4221-ma'am mounted to the dome : [I]4221-ma'am saw thence [London]2-london , with [[its]2-london river]4470-its river , and [its]2-london bridges , and [[its]2-london churches]4471-its churches ; [I]4221-ma'am saw [antique Westminster]29-antique westminster , and [the green Temple Gardens]4472-the green temple gardens , with sun upon [them]4472-the green temple gardens , and a glad , blue sky , of early spring above ; and between them and it , not too dense , a cloud of haze . Descending , [I]4221-ma'am went wandering whither chance might lead , in a still ecstasy of freedom and enjoyment ; and [I]4221-ma'am got - [I]4221-ma'am know not how - [I]4221-ma'am got into the heart of city life . [I]4221-ma'am saw and felt [London]2-london at last : [I]4221-ma'am got into [the Strand]30-the strand ; [I]4221-ma'am went up [Cornhill]31-cornhill ; [I]4221-ma'am mixed with the life passing along ; [I]4221-ma'am dared the perils of crossings . To do this , and to do it utterly alone , gave [me]4221-ma'am , perhaps an irrational , but a real pleasure . Since those days , [I]4221-ma'am have seen [the West End]4473-the west end , [the parks]4474-the parks , [the fine squares]4475-the fine squares ; but [I]4221-ma'am love [the city]4429-the city far better . [The city]4429-the city seems so much more in earnest : [its]4429-the city business , its rush , its roar , are such serious things , sights , and sounds . [The city]4429-the city is getting [its]4429-the city living - [the West End]32-the west end but enjoying [its]4429-the city pleasure . At [the West End]32-the west end [you]4479-you may be amused , but in [the city]4429-the city [you]4479-you are deeply excited . Faint , at last , and hungry it was years since [I]4221-ma'am had felt such healthy hunger , [I]4221-ma'am returned , about two o'clock , to [[my]4221-ma'am dark , old , and quiet inn]4481-my dark , old , and quiet inn . [I]4221-ma'am dined on two dishes - a plain joint and vegetables ; both seemed excellent : how much better than the small , dainty messes [[Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont 's cook]4482-miss marchmont 's cook used to send up to [[my]4221-ma'am kind]4483-my kind , [dead mistress]4484-dead mistress and [me]4221-ma'am , and to the discussion of which [we]4485-we could not bring half an appetite between [us]4485-we ! Delightfully tired , [I]4221-ma'am lay down , on three chairs for an hour [the room]600-the room did not boast a sofa . [I]4221-ma'am slept , then [I]4221-ma'am woke and thought for two hours . [My]4221-ma'am state of mind , and all accompanying circumstances , were just now such as most to favour the adoption of a new , resolute , and daring - perhaps desperate - line of action . [I]4221-ma'am had nothing to lose . Unutterable loathing of a desolate existence past , forbade return . If [I]4221-ma'am failed in what [I]4221-ma'am now designed to undertake , who , save [myself]4221-ma'am , would suffer ? If [I]4221-ma'am died far away from - [home]542-home , [I]4221-ma'am was going to say , but [I]4221-ma'am had no [home]542-home - from [England]19-england , then , who would weep ? [I]4221-ma'am might suffer ; [I]4221-ma'am was inured to suffering : death itself had not , [I]4221-ma'am thought , those terrors for [me]4221-ma'am which it has for the softly reared . [I]4221-ma'am had , ere this , looked on the thought of death with a quiet eye . Prepared , then , for any consequences , [I]4221-ma'am formed a project . That same evening [I]4221-ma'am obtained from [[my]4221-ma'am friend]801-my friend , [the waiter]4443-the waiter , information respecting , the sailing of [vessels]4491-vessels for [a certain continental port]4492-a certain continental port , [Boue - Marine]33-boue - marine . No time , [I]4221-ma'am found , was to be lost : that very night [I]4221-ma'am must take [my]4221-ma'am berth . [I]4221-ma'am might , indeed , have waited till the morning before going on board , but would not run the risk of being too late . "[4221-ma'am] Better take [your]902-me berth at once , [ma'am]4221-ma'am , " counselled [the waiter]4443-the waiter . [I]902-me agreed with [him]4443-the waiter , and having discharged [my]902-me bill , and acknowledged [[my]902-me friend]801-my friend 's services at a rate which [I]902-me now know was princely , and which in [his]4443-the waiter eyes must have seemed absurd - and indeed , while pocketing the cash , [he]4443-the waiter smiled a faint smile which intimated [his]4443-the waiter opinion of [the donor]4495-the donor 's savoir - faire - [he]4443-the waiter proceeded to call [a coach]4496-a coach . To [the driver]4497-the driver [he]4443-the waiter also recommended [me]902-me , giving at the same time an injunction about taking [me]902-me , [I]902-me think , to [the wharf]4498-the wharf , and not leaving [me]902-me to [the watermen]4499-the watermen ; which [that functionary]4500-that functionary promised to observe , but failed in keeping [his]4443-the waiter promise : on the contrary , [he]4443-the waiter offered [me]902-me up as an oblation , served [me]902-me as a dripping roast , making [me]902-me alight in the midst of [a throng of [watermen]4502-watermen]4501-a throng of watermen . This was an uncomfortable crisis . It was a dark night . [The coachman]4503-the coachman instantly drove off as soon as [he]4503-the coachman had got [his]4503-the coachman fare : [the watermen]4499-the watermen commenced a struggle for [me]902-me and [my]902-me trunk . [Their]4499-the watermen oaths [I]902-me hear at this moment : [they]4499-the watermen shook [my]902-me philosophy more than did the night , or the isolation , or the strangeness of the scene . [One]607-one laid hands on [my]902-me trunk . [I]902-me looked on and waited quietly ; but when [another laid hands]4506-another laid hands on [me]902-me , [I]902-me spoke up , shook off [his]4506-another laid hands touch , stepped at once into [a boat]4507-a boat , desired austerely that the trunk should be placed beside [me]902-me - "[902-me] Just there , " - which was instantly done ; for [the owner of [the boat]4509-the boat [I]902-me had chosen]4508-the owner of the boat i had chosen became now [an ally]4510-an ally : [I]902-me was rowed off . Black was [the river]4511-the river as a torrent of ink ; lights glanced on [it]4511-the river from the piles of building round , [ships]4512-ships rocked on its bosom . [They]4512-ships rowed [me]902-me up to [several vessels]4513-several vessels ; [I]902-me read by lantern - light [their]4512-ships names painted in great white letters on a dark ground . "[902-me] [The Ocean]34-the ocean , " "[902-me] The Phoenix , " "[904-the consort] [The Consort]904-the consort , " "[904-the consort] [The Dolphin]905-the dolphin , " were passed in turns ; but "[174-the vivid "] [The Vivid "]174-the vivid " was [[my]174-the vivid " ship]4514-my ship , and it seemed [she]174-the vivid " lay further down . Down the sable flood [we]4515-we glided , [I]174-the vivid " thought of [the Styx]175-the styx , and of [Charon]176-charon rowing [some solitary soul]4516-some solitary soul to [the Land of Shades]35-the land of shades . Amidst the strange scene , with a chilly wind blowing in [my]174-the vivid " face and midnight clouds dropping rain above [my]174-the vivid " head ; with [two rude rowers]4517-two rude rowers for [companions]4518-companions , whose insane oaths still tortured [my]174-the vivid " ear , [I]174-the vivid " asked [myself]174-the vivid " if [I]174-the vivid " was wretched or terrified . [I]174-the vivid " was neither . Often in [my]174-the vivid " life have [I]174-the vivid " been far more so under comparatively safe circumstances . "[174-the vivid "] How is this ? " said [I.]174-the vivid " "[174-the vivid "] Methinks [I]0-i am animated and alert , instead of being depressed and apprehensive ? " [I]174-the vivid " could not tell how it was . "[174-the vivid "] THE VIVID " started out , white and glaring , from the black night at last . - "[174-the vivid "] Here [you]0-i are ! " said [the waterman]4519-the waterman , and instantly demanded six shillings . "[0-i] [You]0-i ask too much , " [I]174-the vivid " said . [He]4519-the waterman drew off from [the vessel]4520-the vessel and swore [he]4519-the waterman would not embark [me]174-the vivid " till [I]174-the vivid " paid it . [A young man]4521-a young man , [the steward as [I]174-the vivid " found afterwards]4522-the steward as i found afterwards , was looking over [the ship]766-the ship 's side ; [he]4521-a young man grinned a smile in anticipation of the coming contest ; to disappoint [him]4521-a young man , [I]174-the vivid " paid the money . Three times that afternoon [I]174-the vivid " had given crowns where [I]174-the vivid " should have given shillings ; but [I]174-the vivid " consoled [myself]174-the vivid " with the reflection , "[174-the vivid "] It is the price of experience . " "[906-i] [They]906-i 've cheated [you]0-i ! " said [the steward]4524-the steward exultingly when [I]906-i got on board . [I]906-i answered phlegmatically that "[906-i] [I]0-i knew it , " and went below . [A stout , handsome , and showy woman]4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman was in [[the ladies]4526-the ladies ' cabin]4527-the ladies ' cabin . [I]906-i asked to be shown [[my]906-i berth]4528-my berth ; [she]4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman looked hard at [me]906-i , muttered something about its being unusual for [passengers]4529-passengers to come on board at that hour , and seemed disposed to be less than civil . What a face [she]4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman had - so comely - so insolent and so selfish ! "[906-i] Now that [I]0-i am on board , [I]0-i shall certainly stay here , " was [my]0-i answer . "[0-i] [I]0-i will trouble [you]907-you to show [me]0-i [my]0-i berth . " [She]4525-a stout , handsome , and showy woman complied , but sullenly . [I]0-i took off [my]0-i bonnet , arranged [my]0-i things , and lay down . Some difficulties had been passed through ; a sort of victory was won : [my]0-i homeless , anchorless , unsupported mind had again leisure for a brief repose . Till [the "[0-i] Vivid "]4530-the " vivid " arrived in [harbour]4531-harbour , no further action would be required of [me]127-charlotte bronte ; but then .... Oh ! [I]127-charlotte bronte could not look forward . Harassed , exhausted , [I]127-charlotte bronte lay in a half - trance . [The stewardess]4532-the stewardess talked all night ; not to [me]127-charlotte bronte but to [the young steward]4533-the young steward , [[her]4532-the stewardess son]532-her son and [her]4532-the stewardess very picture . [He]532-her son passed in and out of [the cabin]4535-the cabin continually : [they]4536-they disputed , [they]4536-they quarrelled , [they]4536-they made it up again twenty times in the course of the night . [She]4532-the stewardess professed to be writing a letter [home]542-home - [she]4532-the stewardess said to [[her]4532-the stewardess father]643-her father ; [she]4532-the stewardess read passages of it aloud , heeding [me]127-charlotte bronte no more than a stock - perhaps [she]4532-the stewardess believed [me]127-charlotte bronte asleep . Several of these passages appeared to comprise family secrets , and bore special reference to one "[127-charlotte bronte] [Charlotte]127-charlotte bronte , " [a younger sister who , from the bearing of the epistle , seemed to be on the brink of perpetrating a romantic and imprudent match]4539-a younger sister who , from the bearing of the epistle , seemed to be on the brink of perpetrating a romantic and imprudent match ; loud was the protest of [this elder lady]4540-this elder lady against the distasteful union . [The dutiful son]4541-the dutiful son laughed [[his]4541-the dutiful son mother]534-his mother 's correspondence to scorn . [She]4532-the stewardess defended it , and raved at [him]4541-the dutiful son . [They]4536-they were [a strange pair]4543-a strange pair . [She]4532-the stewardess might be thirty - nine or forty , and was buxom and blooming as [a girl of twenty]4544-a girl of twenty . Hard , loud , vain and vulgar , [her]4532-the stewardess mind and body alike seemed brazen and imperishable . [I]177-the watsons should think , from [her]4532-the stewardess childhood , [she]4532-the stewardess must have lived in [public stations]4545-public stations ; and in [her]4532-the stewardess youth might very likely have been [a barmaid]4546-a barmaid . Towards morning [her]4532-the stewardess discourse ran on a new theme : "[177-the watsons] [the Watsons]177-the watsons , " a certain expected family - party of [passengers]4529-passengers , known to [her]4532-the stewardess , it appeared , and by [her]4532-the stewardess much esteemed on account of the handsome profit realized in [their]4529-passengers fees . [She]4532-the stewardess said , "[177-the watsons] It was as good as a little fortune to [her]908-her whenever [this family]909-this family crossed . " At dawn all were astir , and by sunrise [the passengers]621-the passengers came on board . Boisterous was the welcome given by [the stewardess]4532-the stewardess to [the "[177-the watsons] Watsons]177-the watsons , " and great was the bustle made in [their]177-the watsons honour . [They]177-the watsons were four in number , [two males]4550-two males and [two females]4551-two females . Besides [them]177-the watsons , there was but [one other passenger]4552-one other passenger - [a young lady , whom [a gentlemanly , though languid- looking man]4554-a gentlemanly , though languid- looking man escorted]4553-a young lady , whom a gentlemanly , though languid- looking man escorted . [The two groups]4555-the two groups offered a marked contrast . [The Watsons]4556-the watsons were [doubtless rich people]4557-doubtless rich people , for [they]4556-the watsons had the confidence of conscious wealth in [their]4556-the watsons bearing ; [the women]4558-the women - youthful both of [them]177-the watsons , and [one perfectly handsome , as far as physical beauty]4559-one perfectly handsome , as far as physical beauty went - were dressed richly , gaily , and absurdly out of character for the circumstances . [Their]4556-the watsons bonnets with bright flowers , [their]4556-the watsons velvet cloaks and silk dresses , seemed better suited for [park]4560-park or promenade than for [a damp packet deck]4561-a damp packet deck . [The men]4562-the men were of low stature , plain , fat , and vulgar ; the oldest , plainest , greasiest , broadest , [I]910-her soon found was [the husband]4563-the husband - [the bridegroom]4564-the bridegroom [I]910-her suppose , for [she]910-her was very young - of [the beautiful girl]4565-the beautiful girl . Deep was [my]910-her amazement at this discovery ; and deeper still when [I]910-her perceived that , instead of being desperately wretched in such a union , [she]910-her was gay even to giddiness . "[910-her] [Her]910-her laughter , " [I]910-her reflected , "[910-her] must be the mere frenzy of despair . " And even while this thought was crossing [my]910-her mind , as [I]910-her stood leaning quiet and solitary against [the ship]766-the ship 's side , [she]910-her came tripping up to [me]910-her , [an utter stranger]4567-an utter stranger , with a camp - stool in [her]910-her hand , and smiling a smile of which the levity puzzled and startled [me]910-her , though it showed a perfect set of perfect teeth , [she]910-her offered [me]910-her the accommodation of this piece of furniture . [I]910-her declined it of course , with all the courtesy [I]910-her could put into [my]910-her manner ; [she]910-her danced off heedless and lightsome . [She]910-her must have been good - natured ; but what had made [her]910-her marry [that individual]4568-that individual , who was at least as much like [an oil - barrel]4569-an oil - barrel as [a man]823-a man ? [The other lady passenger]4571-the other lady passenger , with [the gentleman - companion]4572-the gentleman - companion , was quite [a girl]517-a girl , pretty and fair : [her]910-her simple print dress , untrimmed straw - bonnet and large shawl , gracefully worn , formed a costume plain to quakerism : yet , for [her]910-her , becoming enough . Before [the gentleman]4574-the gentleman quitted [her]910-her , [I]910-her observed [him]4574-the gentleman throwing a glance of scrutiny over [all the passengers]4575-all the passengers , as if to ascertain in what company [his]4574-the gentleman charge would be left . With a most dissatisfied air did [his]4574-the gentleman eye turn from [the ladies with the gay flowers]4576-the ladies with the gay flowers ; [he]4574-the gentleman looked at [me]910-her , and then [he]4574-the gentleman spoke to [[his]4574-the gentleman daughter]686-his daughter , [niece]4578-niece , or whatever [she]910-her was : [she]910-her also glanced in [my]910-her direction , and slightly curled [her]910-her short , pretty lip . It might be [myself]910-her , or it might be [my]910-her homely mourning habit , that elicited this mark of contempt ; more likely , both . A bell rang ; [[her]910-her father]643-her father [I]910-her afterwards knew that it was [[her]910-her father]643-her father kissed [her]910-her , and returned to [land]4581-land . [The packet]4582-the packet sailed . [Foreigners]4583-foreigners say that it is only [English girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is [their]4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians wonder at the daring confidence of [English parents]4585-english parents and [guardians]4586-guardians]4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians . As for the "[910-her] jeunes Meess , " by some [their]4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians intrepidity is pronounced masculine and "[910-her] inconvenant , " others regard [them]4584-english girls who can thus be trusted to travel alone , and deep is their wonder at the daring confidence of english parents and guardians as the passive victims of an educational and theological system which wantonly dispenses with proper ' surveillance . "[910-her] Whether [this particular young lady]911-this particular young lady was of the sort that can the most safely be left unwatched , [I]0-i do not know : or , rather did not then know ; but it soon appeared that the dignity of solitude was not to [her]911-this particular young lady taste . [She]911-this particular young lady paced [the deck]912-the deck once or twice backwards and forwards ; [she]911-this particular young lady looked with a little sour air of disdain at the flaunting silks and velvets , and the bears which thereon danced attendance , and eventually [she]911-this particular young lady approached [me]0-i and spoke . " Are [you]0-i fond of a sea - voyage ? "[911-this particular young lady] was [her]911-this particular young lady question . [I]0-i explained that [my]0-i fondness for a sea - voyage had yet to undergo the test of experience ; [I]0-i had never made one . " Oh , how charming ! "[911-this particular young lady] cried [she]911-this particular young lady . " [I]911-this particular young lady quite envy [you]0-i the novelty : first impressions , [you]0-i know , are so pleasant . Now [I]911-this particular young lady have made so many , [I]911-this particular young lady quite forget the first : [I]911-this particular young lady am quite blasee about [the sea]725-the sea and all that . "[911-this particular young lady] [I]0-i could not help smiling . " Why do [you]0-i laugh at [me]911-this particular young lady ? "[911-this particular young lady] [she]911-this particular young lady inquired , with a frank testiness that pleased [me]0-i better than [her]911-this particular young lady other talk . " Because [you]0-i are so young to be blasee about anything . "[911-this particular young lady] " [I]911-this particular young lady am seventeen "[911-this particular young lady] a little piqued . " [You]0-i hardly look sixteen . Do [you]0-i like travelling alone ? "[911-this particular young lady] " Bah ! [I]911-this particular young lady care nothing about it . [I]911-this particular young lady have crossed [the Channel]4588-the channel ten times , alone ; but then [I]911-this particular young lady take care never to be long alone : [I]911-this particular young lady always make [friends]533-friends . "[911-this particular young lady] " [You]0-i will scarcely make [many friends]4590-many friends this voyage , [I]911-this particular young lady think "[911-this particular young lady] glancing at [the Watson - group]913-the watson - group , who were now laughing and making a great deal of noise on [deck]914-deck . " Not of [those odious men]4591-those odious men and [women]4398-women , "[911-this particular young lady] said [she]911-this particular young lady : ' [such people]915-such people should be [steerage passengers]916-steerage passengers . Are [you]917-you going to [school]675-school ? " "[911-this particular young lady] No . " "[911-this particular young lady] Where are [you]917-you going ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i have not the least idea - beyond , at least , [the port of [Boue- Marine]36-boue- marine]919-the port of boue- marine . " [She]911-this particular young lady stared , then carelessly ran on : "[0-i] [I]0-i am going to [school]675-school . Oh , the number of [foreign schools [I]0-i have been at in [my]0-i life]921-foreign schools i have been at in my life ! And yet [I]0-i am quite [an ignoramus]922-an ignoramus . [I]0-i know nothing - nothing in [the world]811-the world - [I]0-i assure [you]924-you ; except that [I]0-i play and dance beautifully , - and French and German of course [I]0-i know , to speak ; but [I]0-i ca n't read or write them very well . Do [you]924-you know [they]925-they wanted [me]0-i to translate a page of an easy German book into English the other day , and [I]0-i could n't do it . [Papa]140-papa was so mortified : [he]140-papa says it looks as if [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre - [[my]0-i godpapa]926-my godpapa , who pays all [my]0-i school - bills - had thrown away all [his]140-papa money . And then , in matters of information - in history , geography , arithmetic , and so on , [I]0-i am quite [a baby]927-a baby ; and [I]0-i write English so badly - such spelling and grammar , [they]925-they tell [me]0-i . Into the bargain [I]0-i have quite forgotten [my]0-i religion ; [they]925-they call [me]0-i [a Protestant]928-a protestant , [you]929-you know , but really [I]0-i am not sure whether [I]0-i am [one]607-one or not : [I]0-i do n't well know the difference between Romanism and Protestantism . However , [I]0-i do n't in the least care for that . [I]0-i was [a Lutheran]931-a lutheran once at [Bonn]37-bonn - dear [Bonn]37-bonn ! - charming [Bonn]37-bonn ! - where there were [so many handsome students]932-so many handsome students . [Every nice girl in [our]934-our school]933-every nice girl in our school had [an admirer]935-an admirer ; [they]935-an admirer knew [our]934-our hours for walking out , and almost always passed [us]934-our on [the promenade]936-the promenade : ' [Schoenes Maedchen]38-schoenes maedchen , ' [we]934-our used to hear [them]935-an admirer say . [I]0-i was excessively happy at [Bonn]37-bonn ! " "[0-i] And where are [you]0-i now ? " [I]0-i inquired . "[0-i] Oh ! at - chose , " said [she]933-every nice girl in our school . Now , [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra such was [this young person]4593-this young person 's name only substituted this word "[0-i] chose " in temporary oblivion of the real name . It was a habit [she]933-every nice girl in our school had : "[935-an admirer] chose " came in at every turn in [her]933-every nice girl in our school conversation - the convenient substitute for any missing word in any language [she]933-every nice girl in our school might chance at the time to be speaking . [French girls]4594-french girls often do the like ; from [them]4594-french girls [she]933-every nice girl in our school had caught the custom . "[0-i] Chose , " however , [I]0-i found in this instance , stood for [Villette]3-villette - [the great capital of [the great kingdom of Labassecour]4596-the great kingdom of labassecour]4595-the great capital of the great kingdom of labassecour . "[0-i] Do [you]0-i like [Villette]3-villette ? " [I]0-i asked . "[0-i] Pretty well . [The natives]937-the natives , [you]0-i know , are intensely stupid and vulgar ; but there are [some nice English families]938-some nice english families . " "[938-some nice english families] Are [you]0-i in [a school]939-a school ? " "[0-i] Yes . " "[940-a good one] [A good one]940-a good one ? " "[940-a good one] Oh , no ! horrid : but [I]0-i go out every Sunday , and care nothing about [the maitresses]941-the maitresses or [the professeurs]942-the professeurs , or [the eleves]943-the eleves , and send lessons au diable one dare n't say that in English , [you]0-i know , but it sounds quite right in French ; and thus [I]0-i get on charmingly .... [You]0-i are laughing at [me]0-i again ? " "[0-i] No - [I]0-i am only smiling at [my]0-i own thoughts . " "[0-i] What are [they]944-they ? " Without waiting for an answer - "[0-i] Now , do tell [me]0-i where [you]0-i are going . " "[0-i] Where [Fate]159-fate may lead [me]0-i . [My]0-i business is to earn a living where [I]0-i can find it . " "[0-i] To earn ! " in consternation "[0-i] are [you]0-i poor , then ? " "[0-i] As poor as [Job]180-job . " After a pause - "[0-i] Bah ! how unpleasant ! But [I]0-i know what it is to be poor : [they]945-they are poor enough at [home]542-home - [papa]4218-papa and [mamma]4272-mamma , and all of [them]945-they . [Papa]140-papa is called [Captain Fanshawe]181-captain fanshawe ; [he]140-papa is [an officer on half - pay]949-an officer on half - pay , but well - descended , and some of [our]950-us connections are great enough ; but [[my]0-i uncle]4462-my uncle and [godpapa De Bassompierre]182-godpapa de bassompierre , who lives in [France]15-france , is the only one that helps [us]950-us : [he]182-godpapa de bassompierre educates [[us]950-us [girls]702-girls]952-us girls . [I]0-i have [five sisters]954-five sisters and [three brothers]955-three brothers . By - and - by [we]950-us are to marry - [rather elderly gentlemen]956-rather elderly gentlemen , [I]0-i suppose , with cash : [papa]4218-papa and [mamma]4272-mamma manage that . [[My]0-i sister]959-my sister [Augusta]183-augusta is married now to [a man much older - looking than [papa]4218-papa]960-a man much older - looking than papa . [Augusta]183-augusta is very beautiful - not in [my]0-i style - but dark ; [[her]183-augusta husband]509-her husband , [Mr. Davies]184-mr. davies , had the yellow fever in [India]39-india , and [he]184-mr. davies is still the colour of a guinea ; but then [he]184-mr. davies is rich , and [Augusta]183-augusta has [[her]183-augusta carriage]963-her carriage and establishment , and [we]964-we all think [she]183-augusta has done perfectly well . Now , this is better than ' earning a living , ' as [you]0-i say . By the way , are [you]0-i clever ? " "[0-i] No - not at all . " "[0-i] [You]0-i can play , sing , speak three or four languages ? " "[0-i] By no means . " "[0-i] Still [I]0-i think [you]0-i are clever " a pause and a yawn . "[0-i] Shall [you]0-i be sea - sick ? " "[0-i] Shall [you]0-i ? " "[0-i] Oh , immensely ! as soon as ever [we]964-we get in sight of [the sea]725-the sea : [I]0-i begin , indeed , to feel it already . [I]0-i shall go below ; and wo n't [I]0-i order about [that fat odious stewardess]966-that fat odious stewardess ! Heureusement je sais faire aller mon monde . " Down [she]966-that fat odious stewardess went . It was not long before [the other passengers]4597-the other passengers followed [her]966-that fat odious stewardess : throughout the afternoon [I]967-i remained on [deck]914-deck alone . When [I]967-i recall the tranquil , and even happy mood in which [I]967-i passed those hours , and remember , at the same time , the position in which [I]967-i was placed ; [its]725-the sea hazardous - some would have said its hopeless - character ; [I]967-i feel that , as - Stone walls do not a prison make , Nor iron bars - a cage , so peril , loneliness , an uncertain future , are not oppressive evils , so long as the frame is healthy and the faculties are employed ; so long , especially , as [Liberty]185-liberty lends [us]964-we [her]185-liberty wings , and [Hope]186-hope guides [us]964-we by [her]185-liberty star . [I]967-i was not sick till long after [we]964-we passed [Margate]40-margate , and deep was the pleasure [I]967-i drank in with the sea - breeze ; divine the delight [I]967-i drew from the heaving Channel waves , from the sea - birds on their ridges , from the white sails on [their]4597-the other passengers dark distance , from the quiet yet beclouded sky , overhanging all . In [my]967-i reverie , methought [I]967-i saw [the continent of [Europe]17-europe]4599-the continent of europe , like [a wide dream - land , far away]4600-a wide dream - land , far away . [Sunshine]41-sunshine lay on [it]4599-the continent of europe , making [the long coast]4601-the long coast one line of gold ; tiniest tracery of [clustered town]4602-clustered town and snow - gleaming tower , of woods deep massed , of heights serrated , of smooth pasturage and veiny stream , embossed the metal - bright prospect . For background , spread a sky , solemn and dark blue , and - grand with imperial promise , soft with tints of enchantment - strode from north to south a God - bent bow , an arch of hope . Cancel the whole of that , if [you]4603-you please , [reader]4604-reader - or rather let it stand , and draw thence a moral - an alliterative , text - hand copy - Day - dreams are delusions of the demon . Becoming excessively sick , [I]967-i faltered down into [the cabin]4535-the cabin . [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's berth chanced to be next [mine]967-i ; and , [I]967-i am sorry to say , [she]179-ginevra tormented [me]967-i with an unsparing selfishness during the whole time of [our]4606-our mutual distress . Nothing could exceed [her]179-ginevra impatience and fretfulness . [The Watsons]177-the watsons , who were very sick too , and on whom [the stewardess]4532-the stewardess attended with shameless partiality , were stoics compared with [her]179-ginevra . Many a time since have [I]967-i noticed , in [persons of [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra]4608-persons of ginevra fanshawe 's light , careless temperament , and fair , fragile style of beauty , an entire incapacity to endure : [they]4608-persons of ginevra fanshawe seem to sour in adversity , like small beer in thunder . [The man who takes such [a woman]4363-a woman for [[his]4609-the man who takes such a woman for his wife wife]4611-his wife]4609-the man who takes such a woman for his wife , ought to be prepared to guarantee [her]4363-a woman an existence all sunshine . Indignant at last with [her]179-ginevra teasing peevishness , [I]967-i curtly requested [her]179-ginevra "[967-i] to hold [her]967-i tongue . " The rebuff did [her]179-ginevra good , and it was observable that [she]179-ginevra liked [me]967-i no worse for it . As dark night drew on , [the sea]725-the sea roughened : larger waves swayed strong against [the vessel]4520-the vessel 's side . It was strange to reflect that blackness and water were round [us]969-us , and to feel [the ship]766-the ship ploughing straight on [her]179-ginevra pathless way , despite noise , billow , and rising gale . Articles of furniture began to fall about , and it became needful to lash [them]4615-them to [their]4615-them places ; [the passengers]621-the passengers grew sicker than ever ; [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra declared , with groans , that [she]179-ginevra must die . "[967-i] Not just yet , [honey]968-honey , " said [the stewardess]4532-the stewardess . "[968-honey] [We]969-us 're just in port . " Accordingly , in another quarter of an hour , a calm fell upon [us]969-us all ; and about midnight the voyage ended . [I]968-honey was sorry : yes , [I]968-honey was sorry . [My]968-honey resting - time was past ; [my]968-honey difficulties - [my]968-honey stringent difficulties - recommenced . When [I]968-honey went on [deck]914-deck , the cold air and black scowl of the night seemed to rebuke [me]968-honey for [my]968-honey presumption in being where [I]968-honey was : the lights of [the foreign sea]4619-the foreign sea - [port town]4620-port town , glimmering round [the foreign harbour]4621-the foreign harbour , met [me]968-honey like unnumbered threatening eyes . [Friends]533-friends came on board to welcome [the Watsons]177-the watsons ; [a whole family of]4623-a whole family of [friends]533-friends surrounded and bore away [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra ; [I]968-honey - but [I]968-honey dared not for one moment dwell on a comparison of positions . Yet where should [I]968-honey go ? [I]968-honey must go somewhere . Necessity dare not be nice . As [I]968-honey gave [the stewardess]4532-the stewardess [her]4532-the stewardess fee - and [she]4532-the stewardess seemed surprised at receiving a coin of more value than , from such a quarter , [her]4532-the stewardess coarse calculations had probably reckoned on - [I]968-honey said , "[968-honey] Be kind enough to direct [me]0-i to [some quiet , respectable inn]970-some quiet , respectable inn , where [I]0-i can go for the night . " [She]4532-the stewardess not only gave [me]968-honey the required direction , but called [a commissionaire]4626-a commissionaire , and bid [him]4626-a commissionaire take charge of [me]968-honey , and - not [my]968-honey trunk , for that was gone to [the custom - house]4627-the custom - house . [I]968-honey followed [this man]4628-this man along [a rudely - paved street , lit now by a fitful gleam of moonlight]4629-a rudely - paved street , lit now by a fitful gleam of moonlight ; [he]4628-this man brought [me]968-honey to [the inn]4630-the inn . [I]968-honey offered [him]4628-this man sixpence , which [he]4628-this man refused to take ; supposing it not enough , [I]968-honey changed it for a shilling ; but this also [he]4628-this man declined , speaking rather sharply , in a language to [me]968-honey unknown . [A waiter]4631-a waiter , coming forward into [the lamp - lit inn - passage]4632-the lamp - lit inn - passage , reminded [me]968-honey , in broken English , that [my]968-honey money was foreign money , not current here . [I]968-honey gave [him]4628-this man a sovereign to change . This little matter settled , [I]968-honey asked for [a bedroom]4633-a bedroom ; supper [I]968-honey could not take : [I]968-honey was still sea - sick and unnerved , and trembling all over . How deeply glad [I]968-honey was when the door of [a very small chamber]4634-a very small chamber at length closed on [me]968-honey and [my]968-honey exhaustion . Again [I]968-honey might rest : though the cloud of doubt would be as thick to - morrow as ever ; the necessity for exertion more urgent , the peril of destitution nearer , the conflict for existence more severe . CHAPTER VII . VILLETTE . [I]968-honey awoke next morning with courage revived and spirits refreshed : physical debility no longer enervated [my]968-honey judgment ; [my]968-honey mind felt prompt and clear . Just as [I]968-honey finished dressing , a tap came to the door : [I]968-honey said , "[968-honey] Come in , " expecting [the chambermaid]4445-the chambermaid , whereas [a rough man]4636-a rough man walked in and said , - "[968-honey] Gif [me]0-i [your]0-i keys , [Meess]187-meess lucie . " "[187-meess lucie] Why ? " [I]187-meess lucie asked . "[187-meess lucie] Gif ! " said [he]4636-a rough man impatiently ; and as [he]4636-a rough man half - snatched them from [my]187-meess lucie hand , [he]4636-a rough man added , "[187-meess lucie] All right ! haf [your]0-i tronc soon . " Fortunately it did turn out all right : [he]4636-a rough man was from [the custom - house]4627-the custom - house . Where to go to get some breakfast [I]189-anglaise could not tell ; but [I]189-anglaise proceeded , not without hesitation , to descend . [I]189-anglaise now observed , what [I]189-anglaise had not noticed in [my]189-anglaise extreme weariness last night , viz . that [this inn]4638-this inn was , in fact , [a large hotel]4639-a large hotel ; and as [I]189-anglaise slowly descended the broad staircase , halting on each step for [I]189-anglaise was in wonderfully little haste to get down , [I]189-anglaise gazed at the high ceiling above [me]189-anglaise , at the painted walls around , at the wide windows which filled [the house with light]4640-the house with light , at the veined marble [I]189-anglaise trod for the steps were all of marble , though uncarpeted and not very clean , and contrasting all this with the dimensions of [the closet assigned to [me]189-anglaise as [a chamber]4642-a chamber]4641-the closet assigned to me as a chamber , with the extreme modesty of [its]4642-a chamber appointments , [I]189-anglaise fell into a philosophizing mood . Much [I]189-anglaise marvelled at the sagacity evinced by [waiters]4643-waiters and [chamber - maids]4644-chamber - maids in proportioning the accommodation to [the guest]4645-the guest . How could [inn- servants]4646-inn- servants and [ship - stewardesses]4647-ship - stewardesses everywhere tell at a glance that [I]189-anglaise , for instance , was [an individual of no social significance , and little burdened by cash]4648-an individual of no social significance , and little burdened by cash ? [They]4649-they did know it evidently : [I]189-anglaise saw quite well that [they]4649-they all , in a moment 's calculation , estimated [me]189-anglaise at about the same fractional value . The fact seemed to [me]189-anglaise curious and pregnant : [I]189-anglaise would not disguise from [myself]189-anglaise what it indicated , yet managed to keep up [my]189-anglaise spirits pretty well under its pressure . Having at last landed in [a great hall]4650-a great hall , full of skylight glare , [I]189-anglaise made [my]189-anglaise way somehow to what proved to be [the coffee - room]4651-the coffee - room . It can not be denied that on entering [this room]740-this room [I]189-anglaise trembled somewhat ; felt uncertain , solitary , wretched ; wished to [Heaven]188-heaven [I]189-anglaise knew whether [I]189-anglaise was doing right or wrong ; felt convinced that it was the last , but could not help [myself]189-anglaise . Acting in the spirit and with the calm of [a fatalist]4653-a fatalist , [I]189-anglaise sat down at a small table , to which [a waiter]4631-a waiter presently brought [me]189-anglaise some breakfast ; and [I]189-anglaise partook of that meal in a frame of mind not greatly calculated to favour digestion . There were [many other people]4655-many other people breakfasting at other tables in [the room]600-the room ; [I]189-anglaise should have felt rather more happy if amongst [them]4655-many other people all [I]189-anglaise could have seen [any women]4657-any women ; however , there was [not one]4658-not one - [all present]4659-all present were [men]4397-men . But [nobody]4256-nobody seemed to think [I]189-anglaise was doing anything strange ; [one or two gentlemen]4662-one or two gentlemen glanced at [me]189-anglaise occasionally , but [none]4383-none stared obtrusively : [I]189-anglaise suppose if there was anything eccentric in the business , [they]4662-one or two gentlemen accounted for it by this word "[189-anglaise] [Anglaise]189-anglaise ! " Breakfast over , [I]189-anglaise must again move - in what direction ? "[189-anglaise] Go to [Villette]3-villette , " said an inward voice ; prompted doubtless by the recollection of this slight sentence uttered carelessly and at random by [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , as [she]179-ginevra bid [me]0-i good - by : "[0-i] [I]0-i wish [you]971-you would come to [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's]972-madame beck 's ; [she]190-madame has [some marmots whom [you]971-you might look after]973-some marmots whom you might look after ; [she]190-madame wants [an English gouvernante]974-an english gouvernante , or was wanting one two months ago . " Who [Madame Beck]190-madame was , where [she]190-madame lived , [I]190-madame knew not ; [I]190-madame had asked , but the question passed unheard : [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , hurried away by [[her]179-ginevra friends]4664-her friends , left it unanswered . [I]190-madame presumed [Villette]3-villette to be [[her]179-ginevra residence]4665-her residence - to [Villette]3-villette [I]190-madame would go . The distance was forty miles . [I]190-madame knew [I]190-madame was catching at straws ; but in [the wide and weltering deep where [I]190-madame found [myself]190-madame]4666-the wide and weltering deep where i found myself , [I]190-madame would have caught at cobwebs . Having inquired about the means of travelling to [Villette]3-villette , and secured a seat in the diligence , [I]190-madame departed on the strength of this outline - this shadow of a project . Before [you]4667-you pronounce on the rashness of the proceeding , [reader]4604-reader , look back to the point whence [I]190-madame started ; consider the desert [I]190-madame had left , note how little [I]190-madame perilled : [mine]190-madame was the game where [the player]4669-the player can not lose and may win . Of an artistic temperament , [I]190-madame deny that [I]190-madame am ; yet [I]190-madame must possess something of [the artist]4670-the artist 's faculty of making the most of present pleasure : that is to say , when it is of the kind to [my]190-madame taste . [I]190-madame enjoyed that day , though [we]4671-we travelled slowly , though it was cold , though it rained . Somewhat bare , flat , and treeless was the route along which [our]4671-we journey lay ; and [slimy canals]4672-slimy canals crept , like half - torpid green snakes , beside [the road]4673-the road ; and formal pollard willows edged [level fields]4674-level fields , tilled like [kitchen - garden beds]4675-kitchen - garden beds . The sky , too , was monotonously gray ; the atmosphere was stagnant and humid ; yet amidst all these deadening influences , [my]190-madame fancy budded fresh and [my]190-madame heart basked in sunshine . These feelings , however , were well kept in check by the secret but ceaseless consciousness of anxiety lying in wait on enjoyment , like a tiger crouched in a jungle . The breathing of that beast of prey was in [my]190-madame ear always ; [his]4670-the artist fierce heart panted close against [mine]190-madame ; [he]4670-the artist never stirred in [[his]4670-the artist lair]4676-his lair but [I]190-madame felt [him]4670-the artist : [I]190-madame knew [he]4670-the artist waited only for sun - down to bound ravenous from [his]4670-the artist ambush . [I]190-madame had hoped [we]4671-we might reach [Villette]3-villette ere night set in , and that thus [I]190-madame might escape the deeper embarrassment which obscurity seems to throw round a first arrival at [an unknown bourne]4677-an unknown bourne ; but , what with [our]4671-we slow progress and long stoppages - what with a thick fog and small , dense rain - darkness , that might almost be felt , had settled on [the city]4429-the city by the time [we]4671-we gained [[its]4429-the city suburbs]4679-its suburbs . [I]190-madame know [we]4671-we passed through a gate where [soldiers]4680-soldiers were stationed - so much [I]190-madame could see by lamplight ; then , having left behind [us]4671-we the miry Chaussee , [we]4671-we rattled over a pavement of strangely rough and flinty surface . At [a bureau]4681-a bureau , the diligence stopped , and [the passengers]621-the passengers alighted . [My]190-madame first business was to get [my]190-madame trunk ; a small matter enough , but important to [me]190-madame . Understanding that it was best not to be importunate or over - eager about luggage , but to wait and watch quietly the delivery of other boxes till [I]190-madame saw [my]190-madame own , and then promptly claim and secure it , [I]190-madame stood apart ; [my]190-madame eye fixed on that part of [the vehicle]4683-the vehicle in which [I]190-madame had seen [my]190-madame little portmanteau safely stowed , and upon which piles of additional bags and boxes were now heaped . One by one , [I]190-madame saw these removed , lowered , and seized on . [I]190-madame was sure [mine]190-madame ought to be by this time visible : it was not . [I]190-madame had tied on the direction - card with a piece of green ribbon , that [I]190-madame might know it at a glance : not a fringe or fragment of green was perceptible . Every package was removed ; every tin - case and brown - paper parcel ; the oilcloth cover was lifted ; [I]190-madame saw with distinct vision that not an umbrella , cloak , cane , hat - box or band - box remained . And [my]190-madame portmanteau , with [my]190-madame few clothes and little pocket - book enclasping the remnant of [my]190-madame fifteen pounds , where were [they]621-the passengers ? [I]190-madame ask this question now , but [I]190-madame could not ask it then . [I]190-madame could say nothing whatever ; not possessing a phrase of speaking French : and it was French , and French only , [the whole world]4684-the whole world seemed now gabbling around [me]190-madame . What should [I]190-madame do ? Approaching [the conductor]4685-the conductor , [I]190-madame just laid [my]190-madame hand on [his]4685-the conductor arm , pointed to a trunk , thence to the diligence - roof , and tried to express a question with [my]190-madame eyes . [He]4685-the conductor misunderstood [me]190-madame , seized the trunk indicated , and was about to hoist it on [the vehicle]4683-the vehicle . "[190-madame] Let that alone - will [you]975-you ? " said a voice in good English ; then , in correction , "[975-you] Qu'est - ce que vous faites donc ? Cette malle est a moi . " But [I]976-sir had heard the Fatherland accents ; [they]4687-they rejoiced [my]976-sir heart ; [I]976-sir turned : "[976-sir] [Sir]976-sir , " said [I]976-sir , appealing to [the stranger]4688-the stranger , without , in [my]976-sir distress , noticing what [he]4688-the stranger was like , "[976-sir] [I]0-i can not speak French . May [I]0-i entreat [you]976-sir to ask [this man]4628-this man what [he]4628-this man has done with [my]0-i trunk ? " Without discriminating , for the moment , what sort of face it was to which [my]4628-this man eyes were raised and on which they were fixed , [I]4628-this man felt in [its]4688-the stranger expression half - surprise at [my]4628-this man appeal and half - doubt of the wisdom of interference . "[4628-this man] Do ask [him]4628-this man ; [I]0-i would do as much for [you]976-sir , " said I. [I]0-i do n't know whether [he]4688-the stranger smiled , but [he]4688-the stranger said in a gentlemanly tone - that is to say , a tone not hard nor terrifying , - "[0-i] What sort of trunk was [yours]0-i ? " [I]4628-this man described it , including in [my]4628-this man description the green ribbon . And forthwith [he]4688-the stranger took [the conductor]4685-the conductor under hand , and [I]4628-this man felt , through all the storm of French which followed , that [he]4688-the stranger raked [him]4688-the stranger fore and aft . Presently [he]4688-the stranger returned to [me]4628-this man . "[4628-this man] [The fellow avers]978-the fellow avers [he]4628-this man was overloaded , and confesses that [he]4628-this man removed [your]0-i trunk after [you]0-i saw it put on , and has left it behind at [Boue- Marine]36-boue- marine with other parcels ; [he]4628-this man has promised , however , to forward it to - morrow ; the day after , therefore , [you]0-i will find it safe at [this bureau]979-this bureau . " "[4628-this man] Thank [you]4628-this man , " said [I]4628-this man : but [my]4628-this man heart sank . Meantime what should [I]4628-this man do ? Perhaps [this English gentleman]4690-this english gentleman saw the failure of courage in [my]4628-this man face ; [he]4690-this english gentleman inquired kindly , "[4628-this man] Have [you]0-i any friends in [this city]980-this city ? " "[4628-this man] No , and [I]0-i do n't know where to go . " There was a little pause , in the course of which , as [he]4690-this english gentleman turned more fully to the light of a lamp above [him]4690-this english gentleman , [I]0-i saw that [he]4690-this english gentleman was [a young , distinguished , and handsome man]4691-a young , distinguished , and handsome man ; [he]4690-this english gentleman might be [a lord]4692-a lord , for anything [I]0-i knew : nature had made [him]4690-this english gentleman good enough for [a prince]4693-a prince , [I]0-i thought . [His]4690-this english gentleman face was very pleasant ; [he]4690-this english gentleman looked high but not arrogant , manly but not overbearing . [I]0-i was turning away , in the deep consciousness of all absence of claim to look for further help from [such a one as [he]4690-this english gentleman]4694-such a one as he . "[0-i] Was all [your]0-i money in [your]0-i trunk ? " [he]4690-this english gentleman asked , stopping [me]0-i . How thankful was [I]0-i to be able to answer with truth - "[0-i] No . [I]0-i have enough in [my]0-i purse " for [I]0-i had near twenty francs "[0-i] to keep [me]0-i at [a quiet inn]981-a quiet inn till the day after to - morrow ; but [I]0-i am quite [a stranger in [Villette]3-villette]982-a stranger in villette , and do n't know [the streets]983-the streets and [the inns]984-the inns . " "[0-i] [I]0-i can give [you]0-i the address of such [an inn]4440-an inn as [you]0-i want , " said [he]4690-this english gentleman ; "[0-i] and it is not far off : with [my]0-i direction [you]0-i will easily find it . " [He]4690-this english gentleman tore a leaf from [his]4690-this english gentleman pocket - book , wrote a few words and gave it to [me]0-i . [I]0-i did think [him]4690-this english gentleman kind ; and as to distrusting [him]4690-this english gentleman , or [his]4690-this english gentleman advice , or [his]4690-this english gentleman address , [I]0-i should almost as soon have thought of distrusting [the Bible]191-the bible . There was goodness in [his]4690-this english gentleman countenance , and honour in [his]4690-this english gentleman bright eyes . "[0-i] [Your]0-i shortest way will be to follow [the Boulevard]986-the boulevard and cross [the park]987-the park , " [he]4690-this english gentleman continued ; "[0-i] but it is too late and too dark for [a woman]4363-a woman to go through [the park]987-the park alone ; [I]0-i will step with [you]0-i thus far . " [He]4690-this english gentleman moved on , and [I]0-i followed [him]4690-this english gentleman , through the darkness and the small soaking rain . [The Boulevard]986-the boulevard was all deserted , [its]986-the boulevard path miry , the water dripping from [its]986-the boulevard trees ; [the park]987-the park was black as midnight . In the double gloom of trees and fog , [I]0-i could not see [[my]0-i guide]4697-my guide ; [I]0-i could only follow [his]4690-this english gentleman tread . Not the least fear had [I]0-i : [I]0-i believe [I]0-i would have followed that frank tread , through continual night , to [the world]811-the world 's end . "[0-i] Now , " said [he]4690-this english gentleman , when [the park]987-the park was traversed , "[0-i] [you]0-i will go along [this broad street]990-this broad street till [you]0-i come to steps ; two lamps will show [you]0-i where they are : these steps [you]0-i will descend : [a narrower street]991-a narrower street lies below ; following that , at the bottom [you]0-i will find [[your]0-i inn]992-your inn . [They]993-they speak English [there]512-there , so [your]0-i difficulties are now pretty well over . Good - night . " "[193-pensionnat de demoiselles] Good - night , [sir]976-sir , " said [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles : "[193-pensionnat de demoiselles] accept [my]0-i sincerest thanks . " And [we]4700-we parted . The remembrance of [his]4690-this english gentleman countenance , which [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles am sure wore a light not unbenignant to [the friendless]4701-the friendless - the sound in [my]193-pensionnat de demoiselles ear of [his]4690-this english gentleman voice , which spoke a nature chivalric to the needy and feeble , as well as the youthful and fair - were a sort of cordial to [me]193-pensionnat de demoiselles long after . [He]4690-this english gentleman was [a true young English gentleman]4702-a true young english gentleman . On [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles went , hurrying fast through [a magnificent street]4703-a magnificent street and square , with [the grandest houses]4704-the grandest houses round , and amidst [them]4704-the grandest houses the huge outline of more than one overbearing pile ; which might be [palace]4705-palace or [church]4353-church - [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles could not tell . Just as [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles passed [a portico]4707-a portico , [two mustachioed men]4708-two mustachioed men came suddenly from behind the pillars ; [they]4708-two mustachioed men were smoking cigars : [their]4708-two mustachioed men dress implied pretensions to the rank of [gentlemen]4709-gentlemen , but , poor things ! [they]4708-two mustachioed men were very plebeian in soul . [They]4708-two mustachioed men spoke with insolence , and , fast as [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles walked , [they]4708-two mustachioed men kept pace with [me]193-pensionnat de demoiselles a long way . At last [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles met [a sort of patrol]4710-a sort of patrol , and [[my]193-pensionnat de demoiselles dreaded hunters]4711-my dreaded hunters were turned from the pursuit ; but [they]4708-two mustachioed men had driven [me]193-pensionnat de demoiselles beyond [my]193-pensionnat de demoiselles reckoning : when [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles could collect [my]193-pensionnat de demoiselles faculties , [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles no longer knew where [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles was ; the staircase [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles must long since have passed . [Puzzled]192-puzzled , out of breath , all [my]193-pensionnat de demoiselles pulses throbbing in inevitable agitation , [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles knew not where to turn . It was terrible to think of again encountering [those bearded , sneering simpletons]4712-those bearded , sneering simpletons ; yet the ground must be retraced , and the steps sought out . [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles came at last to an old and worn flight , and , taking it for granted that this must be the one indicated , [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles descended [them]4708-two mustachioed men . [The street]623-the street into which [they]4708-two mustachioed men led was indeed narrow , but [it]623-the street contained [no inn]4714-no inn . On [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles wandered . In [a very quiet and comparatively clean and well - paved street]4715-a very quiet and comparatively clean and well - paved street , [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles saw a light burning over the door of [a rather large house , loftier by a story]4716-a rather large house , loftier by a story than those round [it]4716-a rather large house , loftier by a story . This might be [the inn]4630-the inn at last . [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles hastened on : [my]193-pensionnat de demoiselles knees now trembled under [me]193-pensionnat de demoiselles : [I]193-pensionnat de demoiselles was getting quite exhausted . [No inn]4714-no inn was this . A brass - plate embellished [the great porte - cochere]4719-the great porte - cochere : "[193-pensionnat de demoiselles] [Pensionnat de Demoiselles]193-pensionnat de demoiselles " was the inscription ; and beneath , a name , "[190-madame] [Madame Beck]190-madame . " [I]190-madame started . About a hundred thoughts volleyed through [my]190-madame mind in a moment . Yet [I]190-madame planned nothing , and considered nothing : [I]190-madame had not time . [Providence]160-providence said , "[190-madame] Stop here ; this is [[your]996-your inn]992-your inn . " [Fate]159-fate took [me]190-madame in [her]159-fate strong hand ; mastered [my]190-madame will ; directed [my]190-madame actions : [I]190-madame rang the door - bell . While [I]190-madame waited , [I]190-madame would not reflect . [I]190-madame fixedly looked at [the street- stones]4720-the street- stones , where the door - lamp shone , and counted them and noted their shapes , and the glitter of wet on their angles . [I]190-madame rang again . [They]4720-the street- stones opened at last . [A bonne in a smart cap]4721-a bonne in a smart cap stood before [me]190-madame . "[190-madame] May [I]0-i see [Madame Beck]190-madame ? " [I]998-i inquired . [I]998-i believe if [I]998-i had spoken French [she]190-madame would not have admitted [me]998-i ; but , as [I]998-i spoke English , [she]190-madame concluded [I]998-i was [a foreign teacher]4722-a foreign teacher come on business connected with [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat , and , even at that late hour , [she]190-madame let [me]998-i in , without a word of reluctance , or a moment of hesitation . The next moment [I]998-i sat in [a cold , glittering salon]4724-a cold , glittering salon , with porcelain stove , unlit , and gilded ornaments , and polished floor . A pendule on the mantel - piece struck nine o'clock . A quarter of an hour passed . How fast beat every pulse in [my]998-i frame ! How [I]998-i turned cold and hot by turns ! [I]998-i sat with [my]998-i eyes fixed on the door - a great white folding - door , with gilt mouldings : [I]998-i watched to see a leaf move and open . All had been quiet : not a mouse had stirred ; the white doors were closed and motionless . "[998-i] [You]998-i ayre [Engliss]194-engliss ? " said a voice at [my]998-i elbow . [I]998-i almost bounded , so unexpected was the sound ; so certain had [I]998-i been of solitude . [No ghost]4725-no ghost stood beside [me]998-i , nor anything of spectral aspect ; merely [a motherly , dumpy little woman]4726-a motherly , dumpy little woman , in a large shawl , a wrapping - gown , and a clean , trim nightcap . [I]998-i said [I]998-i was English , and immediately , without further prelude , [we]4727-we fell to a most remarkable conversation . [Madame Beck]190-madame for [Madame Beck]190-madame it was - [she]190-madame had entered by a little door behind [me]998-i , and , being shod with the shoes of silence , [I]998-i had heard neither [her]190-madame entrance nor approach - [Madame Beck]190-madame had exhausted [her]190-madame command of insular speech when [she]190-madame said , "[998-i] [You]998-i ayre Engliss , " and [she]190-madame now proceeded to work away volubly in [her]190-madame own tongue . [I]998-i answered in [mine]998-i . [She]190-madame partly understood [me]998-i , but as [I]998-i did not at all understand [her]190-madame - though [we]4727-we made together an awful clamour anything like [Madame]190-madame 's gift of utterance [I]998-i had not hitherto heard or imagined - [we]4727-we achieved little progress . [She]190-madame rang , ere long , for aid ; which arrived in the shape of [a "[998-i] maitresse , " who had been partly educated in [an Irish convent]4729-an irish convent]4728-a " maitresse , " who had been partly educated in an irish convent , and was esteemed [a perfect adept in the English language]4730-a perfect adept in the english language . [A bluff little personage]4731-a bluff little personage [this maitresse]4732-this maitresse was - Labassecourienne from top to toe : and how [she]190-madame did slaughter the speech of [Albion]195-albion ! However , [I]998-i told [her]190-madame a plain tale , which [she]190-madame translated . [I]998-i told [her]190-madame how [I]998-i had left [[my]998-i own country]4733-my own country , intent on extending [my]998-i knowledge , and gaining [my]998-i bread ; how [I]998-i was ready to turn [my]998-i hand to any useful thing , provided it was not wrong or degrading ; how [I]998-i would be [a child's - nurse]4734-a child's - nurse , or [a lady's - maid]4735-a lady's - maid , and would not refuse even housework adapted to [my]998-i strength . [Madame]190-madame heard this ; and , questioning [her]999-she countenance , [I]998-i almost thought the tale won [her]999-she ear : "[998-i] Il n'y a que les Anglaises pour ces sortes d'entreprises , " said [she]999-she : ' sont - elles donc intrepides ces femmes la ! "[999-she] [She]999-she asked [my]0-i name , [my]0-i age ; [she]999-she sat and looked at [me]0-i - not pityingly , not with interest : never a gleam of sympathy , or a shade of compassion , crossed [her]999-she countenance during the interview . [I]0-i felt [she]999-she was not one to be led an inch by [her]999-she feelings : grave and considerate , [she]999-she gazed , consulting [her]999-she judgment and studying [my]0-i narrative . A bell rang . " Voila pour la priere du soir ! "[999-she] said [she]999-she , and rose . Through [[her]999-she interpreter]1000-her interpreter , [she]999-she desired [me]0-i to depart now , and come back on the morrow ; but this did not suit [me]0-i : [I]0-i could not bear to return to the perils of darkness and [the street]623-the street . With energy , yet with a collected and controlled manner , [I]0-i said , addressing [herself]999-she personally , and not [the maitresse]1002-the maitresse : " Be assured , [madame]4736-madame , that by instantly securing [my]999-she services , [your]999-she interests will be served and not injured : [you]999-she will find [me]999-she one who will wish to give , in [her]1002-the maitresse labour , a full equivalent for [her]1002-the maitresse wages ; and if [you]999-she hire [me]999-she , it will be better that [I]999-she should stay [here]4212-here this night : having no acquaintance in [Villette]3-villette , and not possessing the language of [the country]571-the country , how can [I]999-she secure a lodging ? "[999-she] " It is true , "[999-she] said [she]999-she ; " but at least [you]999-she can give a reference ? "[999-she] " None . "[999-she] [She]999-she inquired after [my]0-i luggage : [I]0-i told [her]999-she when it would arrive . [She]999-she mused . At that moment [a man]823-a man 's step was heard in [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule , hastily proceeding to the outer door . [I]0-i shall go on with this part of [my]0-i tale as if [I]0-i had understood all that passed ; for though it was then scarce intelligible to [me]0-i , [I]0-i heard it translated afterwards . " Who goes out now ? "[190-madame] demanded [Madame Beck]190-madame , listening to the tread . " [M. Paul]196-m. paul , "[1005-the teacher] replied [the teacher]1005-the teacher . " [He]823-a man came this evening to give a reading to [the first class]4739-the first class . "[1005-the teacher] " [The very man]4740-the very man [I]1005-the teacher should at this moment most wish to see . Call [him]823-a man . "[1005-the teacher] [The teacher]1005-the teacher ran to the salon door . [M. Paul]196-m. paul was summoned . [He]196-m. paul entered : [a small , dark and spare man]1007-a small , dark and spare man , in spectacles . " [Mon cousin]4741-mon cousin , "[190-madame] began [Madame]190-madame , " [I]190-madame want [your]4741-mon cousin opinion . [We]4742-we know [your]4741-mon cousin skill in physiognomy ; use it now . Read that countenance . "[190-madame] [The little man]1008-the little man fixed on [me]0-i [his]1008-the little man spectacles : A resolute compression of the lips , and gathering of the brow , seemed to say that [he]1008-the little man meant to see through [me]0-i , and that a veil would be no veil for [him]1008-the little man . " [I]1008-the little man read it , "[1008-the little man] [he]1008-the little man pronounced . " Et qu'en dites vous ? "[1008-the little man] " Mais - bien des choses , "[1008-the little man] was the oracular answer . " Bad or good ? "[1008-the little man] " Of each kind , without doubt , "[1009-the diviner] pursued [the diviner]1009-the diviner . " May one trust [her]4743-her word ? "[1009-the diviner] " Are [you]1008-the little man negotiating a matter of importance ? "[1008-the little man] " [She]4743-her wishes [me]1008-the little man to engage [her]4743-her as [bonne or gouvernante]4744-bonne or gouvernante ; tells a tale full of integrity , but gives no reference . "[1008-the little man] " [She]4743-her is [a stranger]874-a stranger ? "[1009-the diviner] " [An Englishwoman]530-an englishwoman , as one may see . "[1008-the little man] " [She]4743-her speaks French ? "[1008-the little man] " Not a word . "[1009-the diviner] " [She]4743-her understands it ? "[1008-the little man] " No . "[1008-the little man] " [One]607-one may then speak plainly in [her]4743-her presence ? "[1009-the diviner] " Doubtless . "[1008-the little man] [He]1008-the little man gazed steadily . " Do [you]1008-the little man need [her]4743-her services ? "[1008-the little man] " [I]1008-the little man could do with [them]4748-them . [You]1008-the little man know [I]1008-the little man am disgusted with [Madame Svini]197-madame svini . "[1008-the little man] Still [he]1008-the little man scrutinized . The judgment , when it at last came , was as indefinite as what had gone before it . " Engage [her]4743-her . If good predominates in that nature , the action will bring its own reward ; if evil - eh bien ! [ma cousine]4749-ma cousine , ce sera toujours une bonne oeuvre . "[1008-the little man] And with a bow and a " bon soir , "[1008-the little man] this vague arbiter of [my]0-i destiny vanished . And [Madame]197-madame svini did engage [me]0-i that very night - by [God]164-god 's blessing [I]0-i was spared the necessity of passing forth again into [the lonesome , dreary , hostile street]1010-the lonesome , dreary , hostile street . CHAPTER VIII . [MADAME BECK]190-madame . Being delivered into the charge of [the maitresse]1002-the maitresse , [I]0-i was led through a long narrow passage into [a foreign kitchen]1012-a foreign kitchen , very clean but very strange . [It]1012-a foreign kitchen seemed to contain no means of cooking - neither fireplace nor oven ; [I]0-i did not understand that the great black furnace which filled one corner , was an efficient substitute for these . Surely pride was not already beginning its whispers in [my]0-i heart ; yet [I]0-i felt a sense of relief when , instead of being left in [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen , as [I]0-i half anticipated , [I]0-i was led forward to [a small inner room]1014-a small inner room termed a " cabinet . "[1015-a cook in a jacket , a short petticoat and sabots] [A cook in a jacket , a short petticoat and sabots]1015-a cook in a jacket , a short petticoat and sabots , brought [my]0-i supper : to wit - some meat , nature unknown , served in an odd and acid , but pleasant sauce ; some chopped potatoes , made savoury with , [I]0-i know not what : vinegar and sugar , [I]0-i think : a tartine , or slice of bread and butter , and a baked pear . Being hungry , [I]0-i ate and was grateful . After the " priere du soir , "[190-madame] [Madame]190-madame [herself]190-madame came to have another look at [me]0-i . [She]190-madame desired [me]0-i to follow [her]190-madame up - [stairs]593-stairs . Through a series of [the queerest little dormitories]1017-the queerest little dormitories - which , [I]0-i heard afterwards , had once been [[nuns]1018-nuns ' cells]1019-nuns ' cells : for [the premises]1020-the premises were in part of ancient date - and through [the oratory]1021-the oratory - [a long , low , gloomy room , where a crucifix hung , pale , against the wall]1022-a long , low , gloomy room , where a crucifix hung , pale , against the wall , and two tapers kept dim vigils - [she]190-madame conducted [me]0-i to [an apartment where [three children]1024-three children were asleep in three tiny beds]1023-an apartment where three children were asleep in three tiny beds . A heated stove made the air of [this room]740-this room oppressive ; and , to mend matters , it was scented with an odour rather strong than delicate : a perfume , indeed , altogether surprising and unexpected under the circumstances , being like the combination of smoke with some spirituous essence - a smell , in short , of whisky . Beside a table , on which flared the remnant of a candle guttering to waste in the socket , [a coarse woman , heterogeneously clad in a broad striped showy silk dress , and a stuff apron]1026-a coarse woman , heterogeneously clad in a broad striped showy silk dress , and a stuff apron , sat in a chair fast asleep . To complete the picture , and leave no doubt as to the state of matters , a bottle and an empty glass stood at [the sleeping beauty]1027-the sleeping beauty 's elbow . [Madame]190-madame contemplated this remarkable tableau with great calm ; [she]190-madame neither smiled nor scowled ; no impress of anger , disgust , or surprise , ruffled the equality of [her]190-madame grave aspect ; [she]190-madame did not even wake [the woman]890-the woman ! Serenely pointing to a fourth bed , [she]190-madame intimated that it was to be [mine]0-i ; then , having extinguished the candle and substituted for it a night - lamp , [she]190-madame glided through an inner door , which [she]190-madame left ajar - the entrance to [[her]190-madame own chamber]1029-her own chamber , [a large , well - furnished apartment]1030-a large , well - furnished apartment ; as was discernible through the aperture . [My]0-i devotions that night were all thanksgiving . Strangely had [I]0-i been led since morning - unexpectedly had [I]0-i been provided for . Scarcely could [I]0-i believe that not forty - eight hours had elapsed since [I]0-i left [London]2-london , under no other guardianship than that which protects the passenger - bird - with no prospect but the dubious cloud - tracery of hope . [I]0-i was a light sleeper ; in the dead of night [I]0-i suddenly awoke . All was hushed , but a white figure stood in [the room]600-the room - [Madame]4736-madame in [her]4736-madame night- dress . Moving without perceptible sound , [she]4736-madame visited [the three children in the three beds]1033-the three children in the three beds ; [she]4736-madame approached [me]0-i : [I]0-i feigned sleep , and [she]4736-madame studied [me]0-i long . A small pantomime ensued , curious enough . [I]0-i daresay [she]4736-madame sat a quarter of an hour on the edge of [my]0-i bed , gazing at [my]0-i face . [She]4736-madame then drew nearer , bent close over [me]0-i ; slightly raised [my]0-i cap , and turned back the border so as to expose [my]0-i hair ; [she]4736-madame looked at [my]0-i hand lying on the bedclothes . This done , [she]4736-madame turned to the chair where [my]0-i clothes lay : it was at the foot of the bed . Hearing [her]4736-madame touch and lift them , [I]0-i opened [my]0-i eyes with precaution , for [I]0-i own [I]0-i felt curious to see how far [her]4736-madame taste for research would lead [her]4736-madame . It led [her]4736-madame a good way : every article did [she]4736-madame inspect . [I]0-i divined [her]4736-madame motive for this proceeding , viz . the wish to form from the garments a judgment respecting [the wearer]1034-the wearer , [her]4736-madame station , means , neatness , c. The end was not bad , but the means were hardly fair or justifiable . In [my]0-i dress was a pocket ; [she]4736-madame fairly turned it inside out : [she]4736-madame counted the money in [my]0-i purse ; [she]4736-madame opened a little memorandum - book , coolly perused its contents , and took from between the leaves a small plaited lock of [Miss Marchmont]158-miss marchmont 's grey hair . To a bunch of three keys , being those of [my]0-i trunk , desk , and work - box , [she]4736-madame accorded special attention : with these , indeed , [she]4736-madame withdrew a moment to [[her]4736-madame own room]1035-her own room . [I]0-i softly rose in [my]0-i bed and followed [her]4736-madame with [my]0-i eye : these keys , [reader]4604-reader , were not brought back till [they]1037-they had left on the toilet of [the adjoining room]1038-the adjoining room the impress of [their]1037-they wards in wax . All being thus done decently and in order , [[my]0-i property]1039-my property was returned to [its]1039-my property place , [my]0-i clothes were carefully refolded . Of what nature were the conclusions deduced from this scrutiny ? Were they favourable or otherwise ? Vain question . [Madame]190-madame 's face of stone for of stone in its present night aspect it looked : it had been human , and , as [I]0-i said before , motherly , in [the salon]1040-the salon betrayed no response . [Her]190-madame duty done - [I]0-i felt that in [her]190-madame eyes this business was a duty - [she]190-madame rose , noiseless as a shadow : [she]190-madame moved towards [[her]190-madame own chamber]1029-her own chamber ; at the door , [she]190-madame turned , fixing [her]190-madame eye on [the heroine of the bottle , who still slept and loudly snored]1042-the heroine of the bottle , who still slept and loudly snored . [Mrs. Svini]198-mrs. svini [I]0-i presume this was [Mrs. Svini]198-mrs. svini , [Anglice]199-anglice or [Hibernice]200-hibernice , [Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny - [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny 's doom was in [Madame Beck]190-madame 's eye - an immutable purpose that eye spoke : [Madame]190-madame 's visitations for shortcomings might be slow , but [they]1043-they were sure . All this was very un - English : truly [I]0-i was in [a foreign land]1044-a foreign land . [The morrow]1045-the morrow made [me]0-i further acquainted with [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny . It seems [she]190-madame had introduced [herself]190-madame to [[her]190-madame present employer]1046-her present employer as [an English lady]1047-an english lady in reduced circumstances : [a native , indeed , of [Middlesex]42-middlesex]1048-a native , indeed , of middlesex [, professing to speak the English tongue with the purest metropolitan accent]1049-, professing to speak the english tongue with the purest metropolitan accent . [Madame]190-madame - reliant on [her]190-madame own infallible expedients for finding out the truth in time - had a singular intrepidity in hiring service off - hand as indeed seemed abundantly proved in [my]0-i own case . [She]190-madame received [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny as [nursery - governess to [[her]190-madame three children]1051-her three children]1050-nursery - governess to her three children . [I]0-i need hardly explain to [the reader]759-the reader that [this lady]1053-this lady was in effect [a native of [Ireland]43-ireland]1054-a native of ireland ; [her]1053-this lady station [I]0-i do not pretend to fix : [she]1053-this lady boldly declared that [she]1053-this lady had " had the bringing - up of [the son and daughter of [a marquis]4751-a marquis]4750-the son and daughter of a marquis . "[1053-this lady] [I]0-i think [myself]0-i , [she]1053-this lady might possibly have been [a hanger - on]1055-a hanger - on , [nurse]1056-nurse , [fosterer]1057-fosterer , or washerwoman , in [some Irish family]1058-some irish family : [she]1053-this lady spoke a smothered tongue , curiously overlaid with mincing cockney inflections . By some means or other [she]1053-this lady had acquired , and now held in possession , a wardrobe of rather suspicious splendour - gowns of stiff and costly silk , fitting [her]1053-this lady indifferently , and apparently made for other proportions than those [they]1059-they now adorned ; caps with real lace borders , and - the chief item in the inventory , the spell by which [she]1053-this lady struck a certain awe through [the household]1060-the household , quelling [the otherwise scornfully disposed teachers]1061-the otherwise scornfully disposed teachers and [servants]1062-servants , and , so long as [her]1053-this lady broad shoulders wore the folds of that majestic drapery , even influencing [Madame]190-madame [herself]190-madame - a real Indian shawl - " un veritable cachemire , "[190-madame] as [Madame Beck]190-madame said , with unmixed reverence and amaze . [I]0-i feel quite sure that without this " cachemire "[190-madame] [she]1053-this lady would not have kept [her]1053-this lady footing in [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat for two days : by virtue of it , and it only , [she]1053-this lady maintained the same a month . But when [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny knew that [I]0-i was come to fill [her]1053-this lady shoes , then it was that [she]1053-this lady declared [herself]1053-this lady - then did [she]1053-this lady rise on [Madame Beck]190-madame in [her]1053-this lady full power - then come down on [me]0-i with [her]1053-this lady concentrated weight . [Madame]190-madame bore this revelation and visitation so well , so stoically , that [I]0-i for very shame could not support it otherwise than with composure . For one little moment [Madame Beck]190-madame absented [herself]190-madame from [the room]600-the room ; ten minutes after , [an agent of [the police]1066-the police]1065-an agent of the police stood in the midst of [us]1067-us . [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny and [her]201-mrs. sweeny effects were removed . [Madame]190-madame 's brow had not been ruffled during the scene - [her]190-madame lips had not dropped one sharply - accented word . This brisk little affair of the dismissal was all settled before breakfast : order to march given , [policeman]1068-policeman called , [mutineer]1069-mutineer expelled ; " chambre d'enfans "[1068-policeman] fumigated and cleansed , windows thrown open , and every trace of the accomplished [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny - even to the fine essence and spiritual fragrance which gave token so subtle and so fatal of the head and front of [her]190-madame offending - was annihilated from [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette : all this , [I]0-i say , was done between the moment of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's issuing like [Aurora]202-aurora from [[her]190-madame chamber]1070-her chamber , and that in which [she]190-madame coolly sat down to pour out [her]190-madame first cup of coffee . About noon , [I]0-i was summoned to dress [Madame]190-madame . It appeared [[my]0-i place]1071-my place was to be a hybrid between [gouvernante]1072-gouvernante and [lady's - maid]1073-lady's - maid . Till noon , [she]190-madame haunted [the house]518-the house in [her]190-madame wrapping - gown , shawl , and soundless slippers . How would [the lady - chief of [an English school]1076-an english school]1075-the lady - chief of an english school approve this custom ? The dressing of [her]190-madame hair puzzled [me]0-i ; [she]190-madame had plenty of it : auburn , unmixed with grey : though [she]190-madame was forty years old . Seeing [my]0-i embarrassment , [she]190-madame said , " [You]0-i have not been [a femme - de - chambre in [[your]0-i own country]4753-your own country]4752-a femme - de - chambre in your own country ? "[190-madame] And taking the brush from [my]0-i hand , and setting [me]0-i aside , not ungently or disrespectfully , [she]190-madame arranged it [herself]190-madame . In [performing other offices of [the toilet]1078-the toilet]1077-performing other offices of the toilet , [she]190-madame half - directed , half - aided [me]0-i , without the least display of temper or impatience . N.B. - That was the first and last time [I]0-i was required to dress [her]190-madame . Henceforth , on [Rosine]203-rosine , [the portress]1079-the portress , devolved that duty . When attired , [Madame Beck]190-madame appeared [a personage of a figure rather short and stout]1080-a personage of a figure rather short and stout , yet still graceful in its own peculiar way ; that is , with the grace resulting from proportion of parts . [Her]190-madame complexion was fresh and sanguine , not too rubicund ; [her]190-madame eye , blue and serene ; [her]190-madame dark silk dress fitted [her]190-madame as [a French sempstress]1081-a french sempstress alone can make a dress fit ; [she]190-madame looked well , though a little bourgeoise ; as bourgeoise , indeed , [she]190-madame was . [I]0-i know not what of harmony pervaded [[her]190-madame whole person]1082-her whole person ; and yet [her]190-madame face offered contrast , too : its features were by no means such as are usually seen in conjunction with a complexion of such blended freshness and repose : their outline was stern : [her]190-madame forehead was high but narrow ; it expressed capacity and some benevolence , but no expanse ; nor did [her]190-madame peaceful yet watchful eye ever know the fire which is kindled in the heart or the softness which flows thence . [Her]190-madame mouth was hard : it could be a little grim ; [her]190-madame lips were thin . For sensibility and genius , with all their tenderness and temerity , [I]0-i felt somehow that [Madame]190-madame would be the right sort of Minos in petticoats . In the long run , [I]0-i found [she]190-madame was something else in petticoats too . [Her]190-madame name was [Modeste Maria Beck]204-modeste maria beck , [nee Kint]1083-nee kint : it ought to have been [Ignacia]205-ignacia . [She]190-madame was [a charitable woman]1084-a charitable woman , and did a great deal of good . There never was [a mistress whose rule was milder]1085-a mistress whose rule was milder . [I]0-i was told that [she]190-madame never once remonstrated with [the intolerable Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny , despite [her]190-madame tipsiness , disorder , and general neglect ; yet [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny had to go the moment [her]190-madame departure became convenient . [I]0-i was told , too , that neither [masters]1086-masters nor [teachers]1087-teachers were found fault with in [that establishment]1088-that establishment ; yet [both masters]1089-both masters and [teachers]1087-teachers were often changed : [they]1089-both masters vanished and [others]770-others filled [their]770-others places , none could well explain how . [The establishment]1092-the establishment was both [a pensionnat]1093-a pensionnat and [an externat]1094-an externat : [the externes]1095-the externes or [day - pupils]1096-day - pupils exceeded one hundred in number ; [the boarders]1097-the boarders were about a score . [Madame]190-madame must have possessed high administrative powers : [she]190-madame ruled all these , together with [four teachers]1098-four teachers , [eight masters]1099-eight masters , [six servants]1100-six servants , and [three children]1024-three children , managing at the same time to perfection [[the pupils]1102-the pupils ' parents]1103-the pupils ' parents and [friends]533-friends ; and that without apparent effort ; without bustle , fatigue , fever , or any symptom of undue , excitement : occupied [she]190-madame always was - busy , rarely . It is true that [Madame]190-madame had [her]190-madame own system for managing and regulating this mass of machinery ; and a very pretty system it was : [the reader]759-the reader has seen a specimen of it , in that small affair of turning [my]0-i pocket inside out , and reading [my]0-i private memoranda . " Surveillance , "[190-madame] " espionage , "[190-madame] - these were [her]190-madame watchwords . Still , [Madame]190-madame knew what honesty was , and liked it - that is , when it did not obtrude its clumsy scruples in the way of [her]190-madame will and interest . [She]190-madame had a respect for " [Angleterre]206-angleterre ; "[190-madame] and as to " les Anglaises , "[190-madame] [she]190-madame would have [the women of [no other country]1107-no other country about [[her]190-madame own children]1108-her own children]1106-the women of no other country about her own children , if [she]190-madame could help it . Often in the evening , after [she]190-madame had been plotting and counter- plotting , spying and receiving the reports of [spies]1109-spies all day , [she]190-madame would come up to [[my]0-i room]1110-my room - a trace of real weariness on [her]190-madame brow - and [she]190-madame would sit down and listen while [the children]1111-the children said [their]1111-the children little prayers to [me]0-i in English : [the Lord]1112-the lord 's Prayer , and the hymn beginning " Gentle Jesus , "[190-madame] [these little Catholics]1113-these little catholics were permitted to repeat at [my]0-i knee ; and , when [I]0-i had put [them]1111-the children to bed , [she]190-madame would talk to [me]0-i [I]0-i soon gained enough French to be able to understand , and even answer [her]190-madame about [England]19-england and [Englishwomen]1114-englishwomen , and the reasons for what [she]190-madame was pleased to term [their]1111-the children superior intelligence , and more real and reliable probity . Very good sense [she]190-madame often showed ; very sound opinions [she]190-madame often broached : [she]190-madame seemed to know that keeping [girls]702-girls in distrustful restraint , in blind ignorance , and under a surveillance that left [them]702-girls no moment and no corner for retirement , was not the best way to make [them]702-girls grow up honest and [modest women]1116-modest women ; but [she]190-madame averred that ruinous consequences would ensue if any other method were tried with [continental children]1117-continental children : [they]1117-continental children were so accustomed to restraint , that relaxation , however guarded , would be misunderstood and fatally presumed on . [She]190-madame was sick , [she]190-madame would declare , of the means [she]190-madame had to use , but use them [she]190-madame must ; and after discoursing , often with dignity and delicacy , to [me]0-i , [she]190-madame would move away on [her]190-madame ' souliers de silence , " and glide ghost - like through [the house]518-the house , watching and spying everywhere , peering through every keyhole , listening behind every door . After all , [Madame]190-madame 's system was not bad - let [me]190-madame do [her]190-madame justice . Nothing could be better than all [her]190-madame arrangements for the physical well - being of [[her]190-madame scholars]4755-her scholars . No minds were overtasked : the lessons were well distributed and made incomparably easy to [the learner]4756-the learner ; there was a liberty of amusement , and a provision for exercise which kept [the girls]4757-the girls healthy ; the food was abundant and good : neither pale nor puny faces were anywhere to be seen in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette . [She]190-madame never grudged a holiday ; [she]190-madame allowed plenty of time for sleeping , dressing , washing , eating ; [her]190-madame method in all these matters was easy , liberal , salutary , and rational : [many an austere English school - mistress]4758-many an austere english school - mistress would do vastly well to imitate [her]190-madame - and [I]190-madame believe [many]4759-many would be glad to do so , if [exacting English parents]4760-exacting english parents would let [them]4759-many . As [Madame Beck]190-madame ruled by espionage , [she]190-madame of course had [[her]190-madame staff of [spies]1109-spies]4761-her staff of spies : [she]190-madame perfectly knew the quality of the tools [she]190-madame used , and while [she]190-madame would not scruple to handle the dirtiest for a dirty occasion - flinging this sort from [her]190-madame like refuse rind , after the orange has been duly squeezed - [I]190-madame have known [her]190-madame fastidious in seeking pure metal for clean uses ; and when once a bloodless and rustless instrument was found , [she]190-madame was careful of the prize , keeping it in silk and cotton- wool . Yet , woe be to [that man or woman who relied on [her]190-madame one inch beyond the point where it was [her]190-madame interest to be trustworthy]4763-that man or woman who relied on her one inch beyond the point where it was her interest to be trustworthy : interest was the master - key of [Madame]190-madame 's nature - the mainspring of [her]190-madame motives - the alpha and omega of [her]190-madame life . [I]190-madame have seen [her]190-madame feelings appealed to , and [I]190-madame have smiled in half - pity , half - scorn at [the appellants]4764-the appellants . None ever gained [her]190-madame ear through that channel , or swayed [her]190-madame purpose by that means . On the contrary , to attempt to touch [her]190-madame heart was the surest way to rouse [her]190-madame antipathy , and to make of [her]190-madame [a secret foe]4765-a secret foe . It proved to [her]190-madame that [she]190-madame had no heart to be touched : it reminded [her]190-madame where [she]190-madame was impotent and dead . Never was the distinction between charity and mercy better exemplified than in [her]190-madame . While devoid of sympathy , [she]190-madame had a sufficiency of rational benevolence : [she]190-madame would give in the readiest manner to [people [she]190-madame had never seen]4766-people she had never seen - rather , however , to [classes]4767-classes than to [individuals]4768-individuals . "[190-madame] Pour les pauvres , " [she]190-madame opened [her]190-madame purse freely - against [the poor man]4769-the poor man , as a rule , [she]190-madame kept it closed . In philanthropic schemes for the benefit of society at large [she]190-madame took a cheerful part ; no private sorrow touched [her]190-madame : no force or mass of suffering concentrated in one heart had power to pierce [hers]190-madame . Not the agony in [Gethsemane]45-gethsemane , not the death on [Calvary]46-calvary , could have wrung from [her]190-madame eyes one tear . [I]190-madame say again , [Madame]190-madame was [a very great and a very capable woman]4770-a very great and a very capable woman . [That school]4771-that school offered [her]190-madame for [her]190-madame powers too limited a sphere ; [she]190-madame ought to have swayed [a nation]4772-a nation : [she]190-madame should have been [the leader of [a turbulent legislative assembly]4774-a turbulent legislative assembly]4773-the leader of a turbulent legislative assembly . [Nobody]4256-nobody could have browbeaten [her]190-madame , none irritated [her]190-madame nerves , exhausted [her]190-madame patience , or over - reached [her]190-madame astuteness . In [[her]190-madame own single person]4776-her own single person , [she]190-madame could have comprised the duties of [a first minister]4777-a first minister and [a superintendent of police]4778-a superintendent of police . Wise , firm , faithless ; secret , crafty , passionless ; watchful and inscrutable ; acute and insensate - withal perfectly decorous - what more could be desired ? [The sensible reader]4779-the sensible reader will not suppose that [I]190-madame gained all the knowledge here condensed for [his]4779-the sensible reader benefit in one month , or in one half - year . No ! what [I]190-madame saw at first was [the thriving outside of [a large and flourishing educational establishment]4781-a large and flourishing educational establishment]4780-the thriving outside of a large and flourishing educational establishment . [Here]4212-here was [a great house]4783-a great house , full of [healthy , lively girls]4784-healthy , lively girls , all well - dressed and many of [them]4784-healthy , lively girls handsome , gaining knowledge by a marvellously easy method , without painful exertion or useless waste of spirits ; not , perhaps , making very rapid progress in anything ; taking it easy , but still always employed , and never oppressed . [Here]4212-here was a corps of [teachers]1087-teachers and [masters , more stringently tasked]4787-masters , more stringently tasked , as all the real head - labour was to be done by [them]4787-masters , more stringently tasked , in order to save [the pupils]1102-the pupils , yet having [their]1102-the pupils duties so arranged that [they]1102-the pupils relieved [each other]4318-each other in quick succession whenever the work was severe : here , in short , was [a foreign school]4790-a foreign school ; of which the life , movement , and variety made it a complete and most charming contrast to [many English institutions of the same kind]4791-many english institutions of the same kind . Behind [the house]518-the house was [a large garden]4793-a large garden , and , in summer , [the pupils]1102-the pupils almost lived out of doors amongst the rose - bushes and the fruit - trees . Under the vast and vine - draped berceau , [Madame]190-madame would take [her]190-madame seat on summer afternoons , and send for the classes , in turns , to sit round [her]190-madame and sew and read . Meantime , [masters]1086-masters came and went , delivering short and lively lectures , rather than lessons , and [the pupils]1102-the pupils made notes of [their]1102-the pupils instructions , or did not make [them]1102-the pupils - just as inclination prompted ; secure that , in case of neglect , [they]1102-the pupils could copy the notes of [[their]1102-the pupils companions]4797-their companions . Besides the regular monthly jours de sortie , the Catholic fete - days brought a succession of holidays all the year round ; and sometimes on a bright summer morning , or soft summer evening ; [the boarders]1097-the boarders were taken out for a long walk into [the country]571-the country , regaled with gaufres and vin blanc , or new milk and pain bis , or pistolets au beurre rolls and coffee . All this seemed very pleasant , and [Madame]190-madame appeared goodness itself ; and [the teachers]4800-the teachers not so bad but [they]4800-the teachers might be worse ; and [the pupils]1102-the pupils , perhaps , a little noisy and rough , but types of health and glee . Thus did the view appear , seen through the enchantment of distance ; but there came a time when distance was to melt for [me]190-madame - when [I]190-madame was to be called down from [my]190-madame watch - tower of [the nursery]4802-the nursery , whence [I]190-madame had hitherto made [my]190-madame observations , and was to be compelled into closer intercourse with [this little world of [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette]4803-this little world of the rue fossette . [I]190-madame was one day sitting up - [stairs]593-stairs , as usual , hearing [the children]1111-the children [their]1111-the children English lessons , and at the same time turning a silk dress for [Madame]190-madame , when [she]190-madame came sauntering into [the room]600-the room with that absorbed air and brow of hard thought [she]190-madame sometimes wore , and which made [her]190-madame look so little genial . Dropping into a seat opposite [mine]190-madame , [she]190-madame remained some minutes silent . [Desiree]208-desiree , [the eldest girl]4807-the eldest girl , was reading to [me]190-madame some little essay of [Mrs. Barbauld]209-mrs. barbauld 's , and [I]190-madame was making [her]208-desiree translate currently from English to French as [she]208-desiree proceeded , by way of ascertaining that [she]208-desiree comprehended what [she]208-desiree read : [Madame]190-madame listened . Presently , without preface or prelude , [she]190-madame said , almost in the tone of one making an accusation , "[190-madame] [Meess]187-meess lucie , in [England]19-england [you]187-meess lucie were [a governess]897-a governess ? " "[897-a governess] No , [Madame]190-madame , " said [I]190-madame smiling , "[190-madame] [you]190-madame are mistaken . " "[190-madame] Is this [your]190-madame first essay at teaching - this attempt with [[my]0-i children]1119-my children ? " [I]190-madame assured [her]190-madame it was . Again [she]190-madame became silent ; but looking up , as [I]190-madame took a pin from the cushion , [I]190-madame found [myself]190-madame an object of study : [she]190-madame held [me]190-madame under [her]190-madame eye ; [she]190-madame seemed turning [me]190-madame round in [her]190-madame thoughts - measuring [my]190-madame fitness for a purpose , weighing [my]190-madame value in a plan . [Madame]190-madame had , ere this , scrutinized all [I]190-madame had , and [I]190-madame believe [she]190-madame esteemed [herself]190-madame cognizant of much that [I]190-madame was ; but from that day , for the space of about a fortnight , [she]190-madame tried [me]190-madame by new tests . [She]190-madame listened at the nursery door when [I]190-madame was shut in with [the children]1111-the children ; [she]190-madame followed [me]190-madame at a cautious distance when [I]190-madame walked out with [them]1111-the children , stealing within ear - shot whenever the trees of [park]4560-park or [boulevard]4810-boulevard afforded a sufficient screen : a strict preliminary process having thus been observed , [she]190-madame made a move forward . One morning , coming on [me]190-madame abruptly , and with the semblance of hurry , [she]190-madame said [she]190-madame found [herself]190-madame placed in a little dilemma . [Mr. Wilson]210-mr. wilson , [the English master]4811-the english master , had failed to come at [his]210-mr. wilson hour , [she]190-madame feared [he]210-mr. wilson was ill ; [the pupils]1102-the pupils were waiting in classe ; there was [no one to give a lesson]4813-no one to give a lesson ; should [I]190-madame , for once , object to giving a short dictation exercise , just that [the pupils]1102-the pupils might not have it to say [they]1102-the pupils had missed [their]1102-the pupils English lesson ? "[190-madame] In classe , [Madame]4736-madame ? " [I]4736-madame asked . "[4736-madame] Yes , in classe : in [the second division]1121-the second division . " "[4736-madame] Where there are [sixty pupils]1122-sixty pupils , " said [I]4736-madame ; for [I]4736-madame knew the number , and with [my]4736-madame usual base habit of cowardice , [I]4736-madame shrank into [my]4736-madame sloth like a snail into its shell , and alleged incapacity and impracticability as a pretext to escape action . If left to [myself]4736-madame , [I]4736-madame should infallibly have let this chance slip . Inadventurous , unstirred by impulses of practical ambition , [I]4736-madame was capable of sitting twenty years teaching infants the hornbook , turning silk dresses and making [children]4815-children 's frocks . Not that true contentment dignified this infatuated resignation : [my]4736-madame work had neither charm for [my]4736-madame taste , nor hold on [my]4736-madame interest ; but it seemed to [me]4736-madame a great thing to be without heavy anxiety , and relieved from intimate trial : the negation of severe suffering was the nearest approach to happiness [I]4736-madame expected to know . Besides , [I]4736-madame seemed to hold two lives - the life of thought , and that of reality ; and , provided the former was nourished with a sufficiency of the strange necromantic joys of fancy , the privileges of the latter might remain limited to daily bread , hourly work , and a roof of shelter . "[4736-madame] Come , " said [Madame]190-madame , as [I]4736-madame stooped more busily than ever over the cutting - out of [a child]4415-a child 's pinafore , "[4736-madame] leave that work . " "[4736-madame] But [Fifine]211-fifine wants it , [Madame]4736-madame . " "[4736-madame] [Fifine]211-fifine must want it , then , for [I]0-i want [you]1124-you . " And as [Madame Beck]190-madame did really want and was resolved to have [me]0-i - as [she]190-madame had long been dissatisfied with [the English master]4811-the english master , with [his]4811-the english master shortcomings in punctuality , and [his]4811-the english master careless method of tuition - as , too , [she]190-madame did not lack resolution and practical activity , whether [I]0-i lacked them or not - [she]190-madame , without more ado , made [me]0-i relinquish thimble and needle ; [my]0-i hand was taken into [hers]190-madame , and [I]0-i was conducted down - [stairs]593-stairs . When [we]4819-we reached [the carre]4820-the carre , [a large square hall between [the dwelling - house]4822-the dwelling - house and [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat]4821-a large square hall between the dwelling - house and the pensionnat , [she]190-madame paused , dropped [my]0-i hand , faced , and scrutinized [me]0-i . [I]0-i was flushed , and tremulous from head to foot : tell it not in [Gath]47-gath , [I]0-i believe [I]0-i was crying . In fact , the difficulties before [me]0-i were far from being wholly imaginary ; some of them were real enough ; and not the least substantial lay in [my]0-i want of mastery over the medium through which [I]0-i should be obliged to teach . [I]0-i had , indeed , studied French closely since [my]0-i arrival in [Villette]3-villette ; learning its practice by day , and its theory in every leisure moment at night , to as late an hour as the rule of [the house]518-the house would allow candle - light ; but [I]0-i was far from yet being able to trust [my]0-i powers of correct oral expression . "[0-i] Dites donc , " said [Madame]190-madame sternly , "[0-i] vous sentez vous reellement trop faible ? " [I]0-i might have said "[0-i] Yes , " and gone back to nursery obscurity , and there , perhaps , mouldered for the rest of [my]0-i life ; but looking up at [Madame]190-madame , [I]0-i saw in [her]190-madame countenance a something that made [me]0-i think twice ere [I]0-i decided . At that instant [she]190-madame did not wear [a woman]4363-a woman 's aspect , but rather [a man]823-a man 's . Power of a particular kind strongly limned itself in all [her]190-madame traits , and that power was not [my]0-i kind of power : neither sympathy , nor congeniality , nor submission , were the emotions it awakened . [I]0-i stood - not soothed , nor won , nor overwhelmed . It seemed as if a challenge of strength between opposing gifts was given , and [I]0-i suddenly felt all the dishonour of [my]0-i diffidence - all the pusillanimity of [my]0-i slackness to aspire . "[0-i] Will [you]1125-you , " [she]190-madame said , "[1125-you] go backward or forward ? " indicating with [her]190-madame hand , first , the small door of communication with [the dwelling - house]4822-the dwelling - house , and then the great double portals of [the classes]4828-the classes or [schoolrooms]4829-schoolrooms . "[0-i] En avant , " [I]0-i said . "[0-i] But , " pursued [she]190-madame , cooling as [I]0-i warmed , and continuing the hard look , from very antipathy to which [I]0-i drew strength and determination , "[0-i] can [you]1125-you face the classes , or are [you]1125-you over - excited ? " [She]190-madame sneered slightly in saying this : nervous excitability was not much to [Madame]190-madame 's taste . "[1125-you] [I]0-i am no more excited than this stone , " [I]1125-you said , tapping the flag with [my]1125-you toe : "[1125-you] or than [you]1125-you , " [I]1125-you added , returning [her]190-madame look . "[1125-you] Bon ! But let [me]0-i tell [you]1125-you these are [not quiet , decorous , English girls [you]1125-you are going to encounter]1126-not quiet , decorous , english girls you are going to encounter . Ce sont des Labassecouriennes , rondes , franches , brusques , et tant soit peu rebelles . " [I]0-i said : "[0-i] [I]0-i know ; and [I]0-i know , too , that though [I]0-i have studied French hard since [I]0-i came [here]4212-here , yet [I]0-i still speak it with far too much hesitation - too little accuracy to be able to command [their]1128-they respect [I]0-i shall make blunders that will lay [me]0-i open to the scorn of [the most ignorant]1129-the most ignorant . Still [I]0-i mean to give the lesson . " "[1128-they] [They]1128-they always throw over [timid teachers]1130-timid teachers , " said [she]190-madame . "[1128-they] [I]0-i know that too , [Madame]190-madame ; [I]0-i have heard how [they]1128-they rebelled against and persecuted [Miss Turner]212-miss turner " - [a poor friendless English teacher , whom [Madame]190-madame had employed , and lightly discarded]4830-a poor friendless english teacher , whom madame had employed , and lightly discarded ; and to whose piteous history [I]212-miss turner was [no stranger]4831-no stranger . "[212-miss turner] C'est vrai , " said [she]190-madame , coolly . "[212-miss turner] [Miss Turner]212-miss turner had no more command over [them]1128-they than [a servant from [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen]1131-a servant from the kitchen would have had . [She]212-miss turner was weak and wavering ; [she]212-miss turner had neither tact nor intelligence , decision nor dignity . [Miss Turner]212-miss turner would not do for [these girls]1133-these girls at all . " [I]212-miss turner made no reply , but advanced to the closed schoolroom door . "[212-miss turner] [You]1134-you will not expect aid from [me]0-i , or from [any one]1135-any one , " said [Madame]190-madame . "[212-miss turner] That would at once set [you]1134-you down as incompetent for [[your]1134-you office]1136-your office . " [I]212-miss turner opened the door , let [her]190-madame pass with courtesy , and followed [her]190-madame . There were [three schoolrooms]4832-three schoolrooms , all large . That dedicated to the second division , where [I]212-miss turner was to figure , was considerably the largest , and accommodated an assemblage more numerous , more turbulent , and infinitely more unmanageable than the other two . In after days , when [I]212-miss turner knew the ground better , [I]212-miss turner used to think sometimes if such a comparison may be permitted , that [the quiet , polished , tame first division]4833-the quiet , polished , tame first division was to [the robust , riotous , demonstrative second division]4834-the robust , riotous , demonstrative second division , what [the English House of Lords]4835-the english house of lords is to [the House of Commons]4836-the house of commons . The first glance informed [me]212-miss turner that [many of [the pupils]1102-the pupils]4837-many of the pupils were more than [girls]702-girls - quite [young women]4840-young women ; [I]212-miss turner knew that [some of [them]1102-the pupils]4841-some of them were of [noble family]4842-noble family as [nobility]4843-nobility goes in [Labassecour]48-labassecour , and [I]212-miss turner was well convinced that [not one amongst [them]1102-the pupils]4844-not one amongst them was ignorant of [my]212-miss turner position in [[Madame]190-madame 's household]4845-madame 's household . As [I]212-miss turner mounted the estrade a low platform , raised a step above the flooring , where stood [the teacher]1005-the teacher 's chair and desk , [I]212-miss turner beheld opposite to [me]212-miss turner a row of eyes and brows that threatened stormy weather - eyes full of an insolent light , and brows hard and unblushing as marble . [The continental "[212-miss turner] female "]4847-the continental " female " is quite a different being to [the insular "[212-miss turner] female " of the same age and class]4848-the insular " female " of the same age and class : [I]212-miss turner never saw such eyes and brows in [England]19-england . [Madame Beck]190-madame introduced [me]212-miss turner in one cool phrase , sailed from [the room]600-the room , and left [me]212-miss turner alone in [my]212-miss turner glory . [I]212-miss turner shall never forget that first lesson , nor all the under - current of life and character it opened up to [me]212-miss turner . Then first did [I]212-miss turner begin rightly to see the wide difference that lies between [the novelist]4850-the novelist 's and [poet]4851-poet 's ideal "[212-miss turner] jeune fille " and the said "[212-miss turner] jeune fille " as [she]190-madame really is . It seems that [three titled belles in the first row]4852-three titled belles in the first row had sat down predetermined that [a bonne d'enfants]4853-a bonne d'enfants should not give [them]4852-three titled belles in the first row lessons in English . [They]4852-three titled belles in the first row knew [they]4852-three titled belles in the first row had succeeded in expelling [obnoxious teachers]4854-obnoxious teachers before now ; [they]4852-three titled belles in the first row knew that [Madame]190-madame would at any time throw overboard [a professeur]4855-a professeur or maitresse who became unpopular with [the school]4856-the school - that [she]190-madame never assisted [a weak official]4857-a weak official to retain [his]4857-a weak official place - that if [he]4857-a weak official had not strength to fight , or tact to win [his]4857-a weak official way , down [he]4857-a weak official went : looking at "[212-miss turner] [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , " [they]4852-three titled belles in the first row promised [themselves]4852-three titled belles in the first row an easy victory . Mesdemoiselles [Blanche]213-blanche , [Virginie]214-virginie , and [Angelique]215-angelique opened the campaign by a series of titterings and whisperings ; these soon swelled into murmurs and short laughs , which the remoter benches caught up and echoed more loudly . This growing revolt of sixty against one , soon became oppressive enough ; [my]212-miss turner command of French being so limited , and exercised under such cruel constraint . Could [I]212-miss turner but have spoken in [my]212-miss turner own tongue , [I]212-miss turner felt as if [I]212-miss turner might have gained a hearing ; for , in the first place , though [I]212-miss turner knew [I]212-miss turner looked [a poor creature]4858-a poor creature , and in many respects actually was so , yet nature had given [me]212-miss turner a voice that could make itself heard , if lifted in excitement or deepened by emotion . In the second place , while [I]212-miss turner had no flow , only a hesitating trickle of language , in ordinary circumstances , yet - under stimulus such as was now rife through the mutinous mass - [I]212-miss turner could , in English , have rolled out readily phrases stigmatizing [their]4852-three titled belles in the first row proceedings as such proceedings deserved to be stigmatized ; and then with some sarcasm , flavoured with contemptuous bitterness for [the ringleaders]4859-the ringleaders , and relieved with easy banter for [the weaker but less knavish followers]4860-the weaker but less knavish followers , it seemed to [me]212-miss turner that [one]607-one might possibly get command over this wild herd , and bring [them]4852-three titled belles in the first row into training , at least . All [I]212-miss turner could now do was to walk up to [Blanche]213-blanche - [Mademoiselle de Melcy]216-mademoiselle , [a young baronne]4862-a young baronne - [the eldest , tallest , handsomest , and most vicious]4863-the eldest , tallest , handsomest , and most vicious - stand before [her]213-blanche desk , take from under [her]213-blanche hand [her]213-blanche exercise - book , remount the estrade , deliberately read the composition , which [I]212-miss turner found very stupid , and , as deliberately , and in the face of [the whole school]4864-the whole school , tear the blotted page in two . This action availed to draw attention and check noise . [One girl alone , quite in the background]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background , persevered in the riot with undiminished energy . [I]212-miss turner looked at [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background attentively . [She]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background had a pale face , hair like night , broad strong eyebrows , decided features , and a dark , mutinous , sinister eye : [I]212-miss turner noted that [she]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background sat close by a little door , which door , [I]212-miss turner was well aware , opened into [a small closet where books were kept]4866-a small closet where books were kept . [She]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background was standing up for the purpose of conducting [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background clamour with freer energies . [I]212-miss turner measured [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background stature and calculated [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background strength [She]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background seemed both tall and wiry ; but , so the conflict were brief and the attack unexpected , [I]212-miss turner thought [I]212-miss turner might manage [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background . Advancing up [the room]600-the room , looking as cool and careless as [I]212-miss turner possibly could , in short , ayant l'air [de rien]217-de rien , [I]212-miss turner slightly pushed the door and found it was ajar . In an instant , and with sharpness , [I]212-miss turner had turned on [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background . In another instant [she]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background occupied [the closet]4868-the closet , the door was shut , and the key in [my]212-miss turner pocket . It so happened that [this girl]4869-this girl , [Dolores]218-dolores by name , and [a Catalonian by race]4870-a catalonian by race , was the sort of character at once dreaded and hated by [all [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background associates]4871-all her associates ; the act of summary justice above noted proved popular : there was not one present but , in [her]4865-one girl alone , quite in the background heart , liked to see it done . [They]4872-they were stilled for a moment ; then a smile - not a laugh - passed from desk to desk : then - when [I]212-miss turner had gravely and tranquilly returned to the estrade , courteously requested silence , and commenced a dictation as if nothing at all had happened - the pens travelled peacefully over the pages , and the remainder of the lesson passed in order and industry . "[212-miss turner] C'est bien , " said [Madame Beck]190-madame , when [I]1137-ca ira came out of class , hot and a little exhausted . "[1137-ca ira] [Ca ira]1137-ca ira . " [She]190-madame had been listening and peeping through a spy - hole the whole time . From that day [I]1137-ca ira ceased to be [nursery governess]4873-nursery governess , and became [English teacher]4874-english teacher . [Madame]190-madame raised [my]1137-ca ira salary ; but [she]190-madame got thrice the work out of [me]1137-ca ira [she]190-madame had extracted from [Mr. Wilson]210-mr. wilson , at half the expense . [CHAPTER IX . ISIDORE]219-chapter ix . isidore . [My]1137-ca ira time was now well and profitably filled up . What with teaching [others]770-others and studying closely [myself]1137-ca ira , [I]1137-ca ira had hardly a spare moment . It was pleasant . [I]1137-ca ira felt [I]1137-ca ira was getting , on ; not lying the stagnant prey of mould and rust , but polishing [my]1137-ca ira faculties and whetting them to a keen edge with constant use . Experience of a certain kind lay before [me]1137-ca ira , on no narrow scale . [Villette]3-villette is [a cosmopolitan city]4876-a cosmopolitan city , and in [this school]4877-this school were [girls of almost every European nation , and likewise of very varied rank in life]4878-girls of almost every european nation , and likewise of very varied rank in life . Equality is much practised in [Labassecour]48-labassecour ; though not republican in form , it is nearly so in substance , and at the desks of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's establishment [the young countess]4879-the young countess and [the young bourgeoise]4880-the young bourgeoise sat side by side . Nor could [you]4881-you always by outward indications decide which was noble and which plebeian ; except that , indeed , [the latter]541-the latter had often franker and more courteous manners , while [the former]4883-the former bore away the bell for a delicately - balanced combination of insolence and deceit . In the former there was often quick French blood mixed with the marsh - phlegm : [I]1137-ca ira regret to say that the effect of this vivacious fluid chiefly appeared in the oilier glibness with which flattery and fiction ran from the tongue , and in a manner lighter and livelier , but quite heartless and insincere . To do all parties justice , [the honest aboriginal Labassecouriennes]4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes had an hypocrisy of [their]4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes own , too ; but it was of a coarse order , such as could deceive [few]4401-few . Whenever a lie was necessary for [their]4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes occasions , [they]4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes brought it out with a careless ease and breadth altogether untroubled by the rebuke of conscience . Not a soul in [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's house]4886-madame beck 's house , from the scullion to [the directress]4887-the directress [herself]4887-the directress , but was above being ashamed of a lie ; [they]4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes thought nothing of it : to invent might not be precisely a virtue , but it was the most venial of faults . "[1137-ca ira] J'ai menti plusieurs fois , " formed an item of [every girl]4888-every girl 's and [woman]619-woman 's monthly confession : [the priest]4890-the priest heard unshocked , and absolved unreluctant . If [they]4884-the honest aboriginal labassecouriennes had missed going to mass , or read a chapter of a novel , that was another thing : these were crimes whereof rebuke and penance were the unfailing weed . While yet but half - conscious of this state of things , and unlearned in its results , [I]1137-ca ira got on in [my]1137-ca ira new sphere very well . After the first few difficult lessons , given amidst peril and on the edge of a moral volcano that rumbled under [my]1137-ca ira feet and sent sparks and hot fumes into [my]1137-ca ira eyes , the eruptive spirit seemed to subside , as far as [I]1137-ca ira was concerned . [My]1137-ca ira mind was a good deal bent on success : [I]1137-ca ira could not bear the thought of being baffled by mere undisciplined disaffection and wanton indocility , in this first attempt to get on in life . Many hours of the night [I]1137-ca ira used to lie awake , thinking what plan [I]1137-ca ira had best adopt to get a reliable hold on [these mutineers]4891-these mutineers , to bring [this stiff - necked tribe]4892-this stiff - necked tribe under permanent influence . In , the first place , [I]1137-ca ira saw plainly that aid in no shape was to be expected from [Madame]190-madame : [her]190-madame righteous plan was to maintain an unbroken popularity with [the pupils]1102-the pupils , at any and every cost of justice or comfort to [the teachers]4800-the teachers . For [a teacher]4895-a teacher to seek [her]4895-a teacher alliance in any crisis of insubordination was equivalent to securing [her]4895-a teacher own expulsion . In intercourse with [[her]190-madame pupils]4896-her pupils , [Madame]190-madame only took to [herself]190-madame what was pleasant , amiable , and recommendatory ; rigidly requiring of [her]190-madame lieutenants sufficiency for every annoying crisis , where to act with adequate promptitude was to be unpopular . Thus , [I]1137-ca ira must look only to [myself]1137-ca ira . Imprimis - it was clear as the day that [this swinish multitude]4897-this swinish multitude were not to be driven by force . [They]4897-this swinish multitude were to be humoured , borne with very patiently : a courteous though sedate manner impressed [them]4897-this swinish multitude ; a very rare flash of raillery did good . Severe or continuous mental application [they]4897-this swinish multitude could not , or would not , bear : heavy demand on the memory , the reason , the attention , [they]4897-this swinish multitude rejected point - blank . Where [an English girl of not more than average capacity and docility]4898-an english girl of not more than average capacity and docility would quietly take a theme and bind [herself]4898-an english girl of not more than average capacity and docility to the task of comprehension and mastery , [a Labassecourienne]220-a labassecourienne would laugh in [your]4899-your face , and throw it back to [you]4899-your with the phrase , - "[1137-ca ira] Dieu , que c'est difficile ! Je n'en veux pas . Cela m'ennuie trop . " [A teacher who understood [her]4900-a teacher who understood her business business]4900-a teacher who understood her business would take it back at once , without hesitation , contest , or expostulation - proceed with even exaggerated care to smoothe every difficulty , to reduce it to the level of [their]4897-this swinish multitude understandings , return it to [them]4897-this swinish multitude thus modified , and lay on the lash of sarcasm with unsparing hand . [They]4897-this swinish multitude would feel the sting , perhaps wince a little under it ; but [they]4897-this swinish multitude bore no malice against this sort of attack , provided the sneer was not sour , but hearty , and that it held well up to [them]4897-this swinish multitude , in a clear , light , and bold type , so that [she]4900-a teacher who understood her business who ran might read , [their]4897-this swinish multitude incapacity , ignorance , and sloth . [They]4897-this swinish multitude would riot for three additional lines to a lesson ; but [I]216-mademoiselle never knew [them]4897-this swinish multitude rebel against a wound given to [their]4897-this swinish multitude self - respect : the little [they]4897-this swinish multitude had of that quality was trained to be crushed , and it rather liked the pressure of a firm heel than otherwise . By degrees , as [I]216-mademoiselle acquired fluency and freedom in [their]4897-this swinish multitude language , and could make such application of its more nervous idioms as suited [their]4897-this swinish multitude case , [the elder and more intelligent girls]4901-the elder and more intelligent girls began rather to like [me]216-mademoiselle in [their]4897-this swinish multitude way : [I]216-mademoiselle noticed that whenever [a pupil]4902-a pupil had been roused to feel in [her]4902-a pupil soul the stirring of worthy emulation , or the quickening of honest shame , from that date [she]4902-a pupil was won . If [I]216-mademoiselle could but once make [their]4897-this swinish multitude usually large ears burn under [their]4897-this swinish multitude thick glossy hair , all was comparatively well . By - and - by bouquets began to be laid on [my]216-mademoiselle desk in the morning ; by way of acknowledgment for this little foreign attention , [I]216-mademoiselle used sometimes to walk with [a select few]4903-a select few during recreation . In the course of conversation it befel once or twice that [I]216-mademoiselle made an unpremeditated attempt to rectify some of [their]4897-this swinish multitude singularly distorted notions of principle ; especially [I]216-mademoiselle expressed [my]216-mademoiselle ideas of the evil and baseness of a lie . In an unguarded moment , [I]216-mademoiselle chanced to say that , of the two errors ; [I]216-mademoiselle considered falsehood worse than an occasional lapse in church - attendance . [The poor girls]4904-the poor girls were tutored to report in Catholic ears whatever [the Protestant teacher]4905-the protestant teacher said . An edifying consequence ensued . Something - an unseen , an indefinite , a nameless - something stole between [myself]216-mademoiselle and [these [my]216-mademoiselle best pupils]4906-these my best pupils : the bouquets continued to be offered , but conversation thenceforth became impracticable . As [I]216-mademoiselle paced [the alleys]4907-the alleys or sat in [the berceau]4908-the berceau , [a girl]517-a girl never came to [my]216-mademoiselle right hand but [a teacher , as if by magic]4910-a teacher , as if by magic , appeared at [my]216-mademoiselle left . Also , wonderful to relate , [Madame]190-madame 's shoes of silence brought [her]190-madame continually to [my]216-mademoiselle back , as quick , as noiseless and unexpected , as [some wandering zephyr]4911-some wandering zephyr . The opinion of [[my]216-mademoiselle Catholic acquaintance]4912-my catholic acquaintance concerning [my]216-mademoiselle spiritual prospects was somewhat naively expressed to [me]216-mademoiselle on one occasion . A pensionnaire , to whom [I]216-mademoiselle had rendered some little service , exclaimed one day as [she]190-madame sat beside [me]216-mademoiselle : "[216-mademoiselle] [Mademoiselle]216-mademoiselle , what a pity [you]216-mademoiselle are [a Protestant]928-a protestant ! " "[216-mademoiselle] Why , [Isabelle]221-isabelle ? " "[1137-ca ira] Parceque , quand vous serez morte - vous brulerez tout de suite dans l'Enfer . " "[216-mademoiselle] Croyez - vous ? " "[1137-ca ira] Certainement que j'y crois : tout le monde le sait ; et d'ailleurs le pretre [me]0-i l'a dit . " [Isabelle]221-isabelle was [an odd , blunt little creature]4913-an odd , blunt little creature . [She]221-isabelle added , sotto voce : "[1137-ca ira] Pour assurer votre salut la - haut , on ferait bien de vous bruler toute vive ici - bas . " [I]190-madame laughed , as , indeed , it was impossible to do otherwise . Has [the reader]759-the reader forgotten [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra ? If so , [I]190-madame must be allowed to re - introduce [that young lady]4227-that young lady as [a thriving pupil of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's]4916-a thriving pupil of madame beck 's ; for such [she]4227-that young lady was . On [her]4227-that young lady arrival in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette , two or three days after [my]190-madame sudden settlement [there]512-there , [she]4227-that young lady encountered [me]190-madame with very little surprise . [She]4227-that young lady must have had good blood in [her]4227-that young lady veins , for never was [any duchess]4919-any duchess more perfectly , radically , unaffectedly nonchalante than [she]4227-that young lady : [a weak , transient amaze]4920-a weak , transient amaze was all [she]4227-that young lady knew of the sensation of wonder . Most of [her]4227-that young lady other faculties seemed to be in the same flimsy condition : [her]4227-that young lady liking and disliking , [her]4227-that young lady love and hate , were mere cobweb and gossamer ; but [she]4227-that young lady had one thing about [her]4227-that young lady that seemed strong and durable enough , and that was - [her]4227-that young lady selfishness . [She]4227-that young lady was not proud ; and - [bonne d'enfants]222-bonne d'enfants as [I]190-madame was - [she]4227-that young lady would forthwith have made of [me]190-madame a sort of [friend and confidant]4921-friend and confidant . [She]4227-that young lady teased [me]190-madame with a thousand vapid complaints about school - quarrels and household economy : the cookery was not to [her]4227-that young lady taste ; [the people about [her]4227-that young lady]4922-the people about her , [teachers]1087-teachers and [pupils]4924-pupils , [she]4227-that young lady held to be despicable , because [they]4922-the people about her were [foreigners]4583-foreigners . [I]190-madame bore with [her]4227-that young lady abuse of the Friday 's salt fish and hard eggs - with [her]4227-that young lady invective against the soup , the bread , the coffee - with some patience for a time ; but at last , wearied by iteration , [I]190-madame turned crusty , and put [her]4227-that young lady to rights : a thing [I]190-madame ought to have done in the very beginning , for a salutary setting down always agreed with [her]4227-that young lady . Much longer had [I]190-madame to endure [her]4227-that young lady demands on [me]190-madame in the way of work . [Her]4227-that young lady wardrobe , so far as concerned articles of external wear , was well and elegantly supplied ; but there were other habiliments not so carefully provided : what [she]4227-that young lady had , needed frequent repair . [She]4227-that young lady hated needle- drudgery [herself]4227-that young lady , and [she]4227-that young lady would bring [her]4227-that young lady hose , c. to [me]190-madame in heaps , to be mended . A compliance of some weeks threatening to result in the establishment of [an intolerable bore]4926-an intolerable bore - [I]190-madame at last distinctly told [her]4227-that young lady [she]4227-that young lady must make up [her]4227-that young lady mind to mend [her]4227-that young lady own garments . [She]4227-that young lady cried on receiving this information , and accused [me]190-madame of having ceased to be [[her]4227-that young lady friend]4927-her friend ; but [I]190-madame held by [my]190-madame decision , and let the hysterics pass as they could . Notwithstanding these foibles , and various others needless to mention - but by no means of a refined or elevating character - how pretty [she]4227-that young lady was ! How charming [she]4227-that young lady looked , when [she]4227-that young lady came down on a sunny Sunday morning , well - dressed and well - humoured , robed in pale lilac silk , and with [her]4227-that young lady fair long curls reposing on [her]4227-that young lady white shoulders . Sunday was a holiday which [she]4227-that young lady always passed with [[friends]533-friends resident in [town]4930-town]4929-friends resident in town ; and amongst these friends [she]4227-that young lady speedily gave [me]190-madame to understand was one who would fain become something more . By glimpses and hints it was shown [me]190-madame , and by the general buoyancy of [her]4227-that young lady look and manner it was ere long proved , that ardent admiration - perhaps genuine love - was at [her]4227-that young lady command . [She]4227-that young lady called [[her]4227-that young lady suitor]4931-her suitor "[190-madame] [Isidore]190-madame : " this , however , [she]4227-that young lady intimated was not [his]4931-her suitor real name , but one by which it pleased [her]4227-that young lady to baptize [him]4931-her suitor - [his]4931-her suitor own , [she]4227-that young lady hinted , not being "[190-madame] very pretty . " Once , when [she]4227-that young lady had been bragging about the vehemence of "[190-madame] [Isidore]190-madame 's " attachment , [I]190-madame asked if [she]4227-that young lady loved [him]4931-her suitor in return . "[190-madame] Comme cela , " said [she]4227-that young lady : "[190-madame] [he]1139-he is handsome , and [he]1139-he loves [me]0-i to distraction , so that [I]0-i am well amused . Ca suffit . " Finding that [she]4227-that young lady carried the thing on longer than , from [her]4227-that young lady very fickle tastes , [I]190-madame had anticipated , [I]190-madame one day took it upon [me]190-madame to make serious inquiries as to whether [the gentleman]4574-the gentleman was such as [[her]4227-that young lady parents]4933-her parents , and especially [[her]4227-that young lady uncle]4934-her uncle - on whom , it appeared , [she]4227-that young lady was dependent - would be likely to approve . [She]4227-that young lady allowed that this was very doubtful , as [she]4227-that young lady did not believe "[190-madame] [Isidore]190-madame " had much money . "[0-i] Do [you]0-i encourage [him]1139-he ? " [I]0-i asked . "[0-i] Furieusement sometimes , " said [she]4227-that young lady . "[0-i] Without being certain that [you]0-i will be permitted to marry [him]1139-he ? " "[0-i] Oh , how dowdyish [you]0-i are ! [I]0-i do n't want to be married . [I]0-i am too young . " "[0-i] But if [he]1139-he loves [you]0-i as much as [you]0-i say , and yet it comes to nothing in the end , [he]1139-he will be made miserable . " "[1139-he] Of course [he]1139-he will break [his]1139-he heart . [I]0-i should be shocked and , disappointed if [he]1139-he did n't . " "[0-i] [I]0-i wonder whether this M. [Isidore]190-madame is [a fool]1140-a fool ? " said [I.]0-i "[1139-he] [He]1139-he is , about [me]0-i ; but [he]1139-he is wise in other things , a ce qu'on dit . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley considers [him]1139-he extremely clever : [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley says [he]1139-he will push [his]1139-he way by [his]1139-he talents ; all [I]0-i know is , that [he]1139-he does little more than sigh in [my]0-i presence , and that [I]0-i can wind [him]1139-he round [my]0-i little finger . " Wishing to get a more definite idea of this love - stricken [M. Isidore]224-m. isidore ; whose position seemed to [me]1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon of the least secure , [I]1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon requested [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley to favour [me]1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon with a personal description ; but [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley could not describe : [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley had neither words nor the power of putting them together so as to make graphic phrases . [She]223-mrs. cholmondeley even seemed not properly to have noticed [him]1139-he : nothing of [his]1139-he looks , of the changes in [his]1139-he countenance , had touched [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley heart or dwelt in [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley memory - that [he]1139-he was "[1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon] beau , [mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon]1141-mais plutot bel homme que joli garcon , " was all [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley could assert . [My]0-i patience would often have failed , and [my]0-i interest flagged , in listening to [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley , but for one thing . All the hints [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley dropped , all the details [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley gave , went unconsciously to prove , to [my]0-i thinking , that [M. Isidore]224-m. isidore 's homage was offered with great delicacy and respect . [I]0-i informed [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley very plainly that [I]0-i believed [him]1139-he much too good for [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley , and intimated with equal plainness [my]0-i impression that [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley was but [a vain coquette]4935-a vain coquette . [She]223-mrs. cholmondeley laughed , shook [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley curls from [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley eyes , and danced away as if [I]0-i had paid [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley a compliment . [[Miss Ginevra]179-ginevra 's school]4936-miss ginevra 's school - studies were little better than nominal ; there were but three things [she]179-ginevra practised in earnest , viz . music , singing , and dancing ; also embroidering the fine cambric handkerchiefs which [she]179-ginevra could not afford to buy ready worked : such mere trifles as lessons in history , geography , grammar , and arithmetic , [she]179-ginevra left undone , or got [others]770-others to do for [her]179-ginevra . Very much of [her]179-ginevra time was spent in visiting . [Madame]190-madame , aware that [her]179-ginevra stay at [school]675-school was now limited to a certain period , which would not be extended whether [she]179-ginevra made progress or not , allowed [her]179-ginevra great licence in this particular . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley - [[her]179-ginevra chaperon]4939-her chaperon - [a gay , fashionable lady]4940-a gay , fashionable lady , invited [her]179-ginevra whenever [she]179-ginevra had company at [[her]179-ginevra own house]4941-her own house , and sometimes took [her]179-ginevra to evening - parties at [the houses of [her]179-ginevra acquaintance]4942-the houses of her acquaintance . [Ginevra]179-ginevra perfectly approved this mode of procedure : it had but one inconvenience ; [she]179-ginevra was obliged to be well dressed , and [she]179-ginevra had not money to buy variety of dresses . All [her]179-ginevra thoughts turned on this difficulty ; [her]179-ginevra whole soul was occupied with expedients for effecting its solution . It was wonderful to witness the activity of [her]179-ginevra otherwise indolent mind on this point , and to see the much - daring intrepidity to which [she]179-ginevra was spurred by a sense of necessity , and the wish to shine . [She]179-ginevra begged boldly of [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley - boldly , [I]0-i say : not with an air of reluctant shame , but in this strain : - "[0-i] [My]0-i darling [Mrs. C.]225-mrs. c. , [I]0-i have nothing in [the world]811-the world fit to wear for [your]225-mrs. c. party next week ; [you]225-mrs. c. must give [me]0-i a book - muslin dress , and then a ceinture bleu celeste : do - there 's [an angel]1143-an angel ! will [you]225-mrs. c. ? " The "[225-mrs. c.] darling Mrs. C. " yielded at first ; but finding that applications increased as they were complied with , [she]179-ginevra was soon obliged , like [all [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's friends]4943-all miss fanshawe 's friends , to oppose resistance to encroachment . After a while [I]225-mrs. c. heard no more of [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley 's presents ; but still , visiting went on , and the absolutely necessary dresses continued to be supplied : also many little expensive etcetera - gloves , bouquets , even trinkets . These things , contrary to [her]179-ginevra custom , and even nature - for [she]179-ginevra was not secretive - were most sedulously kept out of sight for a time ; but one evening , when [she]179-ginevra was going to a large party for which particular care and elegance of costume were demanded , [she]179-ginevra could not resist coming to [[my]225-mrs. c. chamber]4944-my chamber to show [herself]179-ginevra in all [her]179-ginevra splendour . Beautiful [she]179-ginevra looked : so young , so fresh , and with a delicacy of skin and flexibility of shape altogether English , and not found in the list of continental female charms . [Her]179-ginevra dress was new , costly , and perfect . [I]225-mrs. c. saw at a glance that it lacked none of those finishing details which cost so much , and give to the general effect such an air of tasteful completeness . [I]225-mrs. c. viewed [her]179-ginevra from top to toe . [She]179-ginevra turned airily round that [I]225-mrs. c. might survey [her]179-ginevra on all sides . Conscious of [her]179-ginevra charms , [she]179-ginevra was in [her]179-ginevra best humour : [her]179-ginevra rather small blue eyes sparkled gleefully . [She]179-ginevra was going to bestow on [me]225-mrs. c. a kiss , in [her]179-ginevra school - girl fashion of showing [her]179-ginevra delights but [I]225-mrs. c. said , "[225-mrs. c.] Steady ! Let [us]1144-us be [Steady]226-steady , and know what [we]1144-us are about , and find out the meaning of [our]1144-us magnificence " - and so put [her]179-ginevra off at arm 's length , to undergo cooler inspection . "[0-i] Shall [I]0-i do ? " was [her]179-ginevra question . "[0-i] Do ? " said [I.]225-mrs. c. "[0-i] There are different ways of doing ; and , by [my]0-i word , [I]0-i do n't understand [yours]1145-yours . " "[0-i] But how do [I]0-i look ? " "[0-i] [You]0-i look well dressed . " [She]179-ginevra thought the praise not warm enough , and proceeded to direct attention to the various decorative points of [her]179-ginevra attire . "[0-i] Look at this parure , " said [she]179-ginevra . "[0-i] The brooch , the ear - rings , the bracelets : [no one in the school]1146-no one in the school has such a set - not [Madame]190-madame [herself]190-madame " "[0-i] [I]0-i see them all . " Pause . "[0-i] Did [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre give [you]0-i those jewels ? " "[4462-my uncle] [[My]0-i uncle]4462-my uncle knows nothing about them . " "[4462-my uncle] Were they presents from [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley ? " "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] Not they , indeed . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley is [a mean , stingy creature]1148-a mean , stingy creature ; [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley never gives [me]0-i anything now . " [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley did not choose to ask any further questions , but turned abruptly away . "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] Now , [old Crusty - old Diogenes]227-old crusty - old diogenes " these were [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley familiar terms for [me]223-mrs. cholmondeley when [we]4945-we disagreed , "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] what is the matter now ? " "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] Take [yourself]0-i away . [I]0-i have no pleasure in looking at [you]0-i or [your]0-i parure . " For an instant , [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley seemed taken by surprise . "[0-i] What now , [Mother Wisdom]228-mother wisdom ? [I]0-i have not got into debt for it - that is , not for the jewels , nor the gloves , nor the bouquet . [My]0-i dress is certainly not paid for , but uncle [de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre will pay it in the bill : [he]4462-my uncle never notices items , but just looks at the total ; and [he]4462-my uncle is so rich , [one]607-one need not care about a few guineas more or less . " "[0-i] Will [you]0-i go ? [I]0-i want to shut the door .... [Ginevra]179-ginevra , [people]531-people may tell [you]0-i [you]0-i are very handsome in that ball - attire ; but , in [my]0-i eyes , [you]0-i will never look so pretty as [you]0-i did in the gingham gown and plain straw bonnet [you]0-i wore when [I]0-i first saw [you]0-i . " "[1151-other people] [Other people]1151-other people have not [your]0-i puritanical tastes , " was [her]179-ginevra angry reply . "[1151-other people] And , besides , [I]0-i see no right [you]0-i have to sermonize [me]0-i . " "[0-i] Certainly ! [I]0-i have little right ; and [you]0-i , perhaps , have still less to come flourishing and fluttering into [[my]0-i chamber]4944-my chamber - a mere jay in borrowed plumes . [I]0-i have not the least respect for [your]0-i feathers , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra ; and especially the peacock 's eyes [you]0-i call a parure : very pretty things , if [you]0-i had bought them with money which was [your]0-i own , and which [you]0-i could well spare , but not at all pretty under present circumstances . " "[179-ginevra] On est la pour Mademoiselle [Fanshawe]179-ginevra ! " was announced by [the portress]1079-the portress , and away [she]179-ginevra tripped . This semi - mystery of the parure was not solved till two or three days afterwards , when [she]179-ginevra came to make a voluntary confession . "[179-ginevra] [You]0-i need not be sulky with [me]0-i , " [she]179-ginevra began , "[0-i] in the idea that [I]0-i am running [somebody]4307-somebody , [papa]4218-papa or [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , deeply into debt . [I]0-i assure [you]0-i nothing remains unpaid for , but the few dresses [I]0-i have lately had : all the rest is settled . " "[0-i] There , " [I]0-i thought , "[0-i] lies the mystery ; considering that they were not given [you]0-i by [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley , and that [your]0-i own means are limited to a few shillings , of which [I]0-i know [you]0-i to be excessively careful . " "[0-i] [Ecoutez]229-ecoutez ! " [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley went on , drawing near and speaking in [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley most confidential and coaxing tone ; for [my]223-mrs. cholmondeley ' sulkiness "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] was inconvenient to [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley : [she]223-mrs. cholmondeley liked [me]0-i to be in a talking and listening mood , even if [I]0-i only talked to chide and listened to rail . " Ecoutez , chere grogneuse ! [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley will tell [you]0-i all how and about it ; and [you]0-i will then see , not only how right the whole thing is , but how cleverly managed . In the first place , [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley must go out . [Papa]140-papa [himself]140-papa said that [he]140-papa wished [me]223-mrs. cholmondeley to see something of [the world]811-the world ; [he]140-papa particularly remarked to [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley , that , though [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley was [a sweet creature enough]4948-a sweet creature enough , [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley had rather a bread - and - butter - eating , school - girl air ; of which it was [his]140-papa special desire that [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley should get rid , by an introduction to society here , before [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley make [my]223-mrs. cholmondeley regular debut in [England]19-england . Well , then , if [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley go out , [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley must dress . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley is turned shabby , and will give nothing more ; it would be too hard upon [uncle]4949-uncle to make [him]4949-uncle pay for all the things [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley need : that [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley ca n't deny - that agrees with [your]223-mrs. cholmondeley own preachments . Well , but SOMEBODY who heard [me]223-mrs. cholmondeley quite by chance , [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley assure [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley complaining to [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley of [my]223-mrs. cholmondeley distressed circumstances , and what straits [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley was put to for an ornament or two - [somebody]4307-somebody , far from grudging one a present , was quite delighted at the idea of being permitted to offer some trifle . [You]223-mrs. cholmondeley should have seen what a blanc - bec [he]4949-uncle looked when [he]4949-uncle first spoke of it : how [he]4949-uncle hesitated and blushed , and positively trembled from fear of a repulse . "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] " That will do , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra . [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley suppose [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley am to understand that [M. Isidore]224-m. isidore is [the benefactor]4951-the benefactor : that it is from [him]224-m. isidore [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley have accepted that costly parure ; that [he]224-m. isidore supplies [your]223-mrs. cholmondeley bouquets and [your]223-mrs. cholmondeley gloves ? "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] " [You]223-mrs. cholmondeley express [yourself]223-mrs. cholmondeley so disagreeably , "[1155-she] said [she]1155-she , " [one]607-one hardly knows how to answer ; what [I]1155-she mean to say is , that [I]1155-she occasionally allow [Isidore]224-m. isidore the pleasure and honour of expressing [his]224-m. isidore homage by the offer of a trifle . "[1155-she] " It comes to the same thing .... Now , [Ginevra]179-ginevra , to speak the plain truth , [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley do n't very well understand these matters ; but [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley believe [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley are doing very wrong - seriously wrong . Perhaps , however , [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley now feel certain that [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley will be able to marry [M. Isidore]224-m. isidore ; [[your]223-mrs. cholmondeley parents]4953-your parents and [uncle]4949-uncle have given [their]4953-your parents consent , and , for [your]223-mrs. cholmondeley part , [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley love [him]224-m. isidore entirely ? "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] " Mais pas du tout ! "[1155-she] [she]1155-she always had recourse to French when about to say something specially heartless and perverse . " Je suis sa reine , mais il n'est pas mon roi . "[1155-she] " Excuse [me]223-mrs. cholmondeley , [I]223-mrs. cholmondeley must believe this language is mere nonsense and coquetry . There is nothing great about [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley , yet [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley are above profiting by the good nature and purse of [a man to whom [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley feel absolute indifference]4955-a man to whom you feel absolute indifference . [You]223-mrs. cholmondeley love [M. Isidore]224-m. isidore far more than [you]223-mrs. cholmondeley think , or will avow . "[223-mrs. cholmondeley] " No . [I]1156-i danced with [a young officer]4956-a young officer the other night , whom [I]1156-i love a thousand times more than [he]224-m. isidore . [I]1156-i often wonder why [I]1156-i feel so very cold to [Isidore]224-m. isidore , for [everybody]4957-everybody says [he]224-m. isidore is handsome , and [other ladies]4958-other ladies admire [him]224-m. isidore ; but , somehow , [he]224-m. isidore bores [me]1156-i : let [me]1156-i see now how it is .... "[1156-i] And [she]1156-i seemed to make an effort to reflect . In this [I]0-i encouraged [her]1156-i . " Yes ! "[0-i] [I]0-i said , " try to get a clear idea of the state of [your]1156-i mind . To [me]0-i it seems in a great mess - chaotic as a rag - bag . "[0-i] " It is something in this fashion , "[1156-i] [she]1156-i cried out ere long : " [the man]4959-the man is too romantic and devoted , and [he]4959-the man expects something more of [me]1156-i than [I]1156-i find it convenient to be . [He]4959-the man thinks [I]1156-i am perfect : furnished with all sorts of sterling qualities and solid virtues , such as [I]1156-i never had , nor intend to have . Now , one ca n't help , in [his]4959-the man presence , rather trying to justify [his]4959-the man good opinion ; and it does so tire [one]607-one to be goody , and to talk sense , - for [he]4959-the man really thinks [I]1156-i am sensible . [I]1156-i am far more at [my]1156-i ease with [you]1156-i , [old lady]4961-old lady - [you]1156-i , [[you]1156-i dear crosspatch]4962-you dear crosspatch - who take [me]1156-i at [my]1156-i lowest , and know [me]1156-i to be coquettish , and ignorant , and flirting , and fickle , and silly , and selfish , and all the other sweet things [you]1156-i and [I]1156-i have agreed to be a part of [my]1156-i character . "[1156-i] " This is all very well , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , making a strenuous effort to preserve that gravity and severity which ran risk of being shaken by this whimsical candour , " but it does not alter that wretched business of the presents . Pack them up , [Ginevra]179-ginevra , like [a good , honest girl]4963-a good , honest girl , and send them back . "[0-i] " Indeed , [I]1157-i wo n't , "[1157-i] said [she]1157-i , stoutly . " Then [you]1156-i are deceiving [M. Isidore]224-m. isidore . It stands to reason that by accepting [his]224-m. isidore presents [you]1156-i give [him]224-m. isidore to understand [he]224-m. isidore will one day receive an equivalent , in [your]1156-i regard ... "[1157-i] " But [he]224-m. isidore wo n't , "[1157-i] [she]1157-i interrupted : " [he]224-m. isidore has [his]224-m. isidore equivalent now , in the pleasure of seeing [me]1157-i wear them - quite enough for [him]224-m. isidore : [he]224-m. isidore is only bourgeois . "[1157-i] This phrase , in its senseless arrogance , quite cured [me]0-i of the temporary weakness which had made [me]0-i relax [my]0-i tone and aspect . [She]1157-i rattled on : " [My]1157-i present business is to enjoy youth , and not to think of fettering [myself]1157-i , by promise or vow , to [this man]4628-this man or that . When first [I]1157-i saw [Isidore]224-m. isidore , [I]1157-i believed [he]224-m. isidore would help [me]1157-i to enjoy it [I]1157-i believed [he]224-m. isidore would be content with [my]1157-i being [a pretty girl]4965-a pretty girl ; and that [we]4966-we should meet and part and flutter about like two butterflies , and be happy . Lo , and behold ! [I]1157-i find [him]224-m. isidore at times as grave as [a judge]4967-a judge , and deep - feeling and thoughtful . Bah ! [Les penseurs]4968-les penseurs , [les hommes profonds et passionnes]4969-les hommes profonds et passionnes ne sont pas a mon gout . [Le Colonel Alfred de Hamal]230-alfred suits [me]1157-i far better . Va pour les beaux fats et les jolis fripons ! Vive les joies et les plaisirs ! A bas les grandes passions et les severes vertus ! "[1157-i] [She]1158-she looked for an answer to this tirade . [I]0-i gave none . " J'aime mon beau Colonel , "[1158-she] [she]1158-she went on : " je n'aimerai jamais [son rival]4970-son rival . Je ne serai jamais femme de bourgeois , moi ! "[1158-she] [I]0-i now signified that it was imperatively necessary [[my]0-i apartment]1159-my apartment should be relieved of the honour of [her]1158-she presence : [she]1158-she went away laughing . [CHAPTER X. DR JOHN]231-chapter x. dr john . [Madame Beck]190-madame was [a most consistent character]1160-a most consistent character ; forbearing with all [the world]811-the world , and tender to no part of it . [[Her]190-madame own children]1108-her own children drew [her]190-madame into no deviation from the even tenor of [her]190-madame stoic calm . [She]190-madame was solicitous about [[her]190-madame family]1163-her family , vigilant for [their]1163-her family interests and physical well- being ; but [she]190-madame never seemed to know the wish to take [[her]190-madame little children]1164-her little children upon [her]190-madame lap , to press [their]1164-her little children rosy lips with [her]190-madame own , to gather [them]1164-her little children in a genial embrace , to shower on [them]1164-her little children softly the benignant caress , the loving word . [I]0-i have watched [her]190-madame sometimes sitting in [the garden]1165-the garden , viewing the little bees afar off , as [they]1164-her little children walked in [a distant alley]1166-a distant alley with [Trinette]232-trinette , [[their]1164-her little children bonne]1167-their bonne ; in [her]190-madame mien spoke care and prudence . [I]0-i know [she]190-madame often pondered anxiously what [she]190-madame called " leur avenir ; "[190-madame] but if [the youngest]1168-the youngest , [a puny and delicate but engaging child]1169-a puny and delicate but engaging child , chancing to spy [her]190-madame , broke from [[its]1168-the youngest nurse]1170-its nurse , and toddling down [the walk]1171-the walk , came all eager and laughing and panting to clasp [her]190-madame knee , [Madame]190-madame would just calmly put out one hand , so as to prevent inconvenient concussion from [the child]4206-the child 's sudden onset : " Prends garde , mon enfant ! "[190-madame] [she]190-madame would say unmoved , patiently permit [it]4206-the child to stand near [her]190-madame a few moments , and then , without smile or kiss , or endearing syllable , rise and lead it back to [Trinette]232-trinette . [Her]190-madame demeanour to [the eldest girl]4807-the eldest girl was equally characteristic in another way . This was [a vicious child]1174-a vicious child . " Quelle peste que cette Desiree ! Quel poison que cet enfant la ! "[190-madame] were the expressions dedicated to [her]190-madame , alike in [kitchen]1175-kitchen and in [schoolroom]1176-schoolroom . Amongst [her]190-madame other endowments [she]190-madame boasted an exquisite skill in the art , of provocation , sometimes driving [her]190-madame bonne and [the servants]1177-the servants almost wild . [She]190-madame would steal to [[their]1177-the servants attics]1178-their attics , open [their]1177-the servants drawers and boxes , wantonly tear [their]1177-the servants best caps and soil [their]1177-the servants best shawls ; [she]190-madame would watch [her]190-madame opportunity to get at the buffet of [the salle]1179-the salle - a - manger , where [she]190-madame would smash articles of porcelain or glass - or to the cupboard of [the storeroom]1180-the storeroom , where [she]190-madame would plunder the preserves , drink the sweet wine , break jars and bottles , and so contrive as to throw the onus of suspicion on [the cook]4341-the cook and [the kitchen - maid]1182-the kitchen - maid . All this when [Madame]190-madame saw , and of which when [she]190-madame received report , [her]190-madame sole observation , uttered with matchless serenity , was : " [Desiree]208-desiree [a besoin d'une surveillance toute particuliere]4971-a besoin d'une surveillance toute particuliere . "[190-madame] Accordingly [she]190-madame kept this promising olive - branch a good deal at [her]190-madame side . Never once , [I]0-i believe , did [she]190-madame tell [her]190-madame faithfully of [her]190-madame faults , explain the evil of such habits , and show the results which must thence ensue . [Surveillance]233-surveillance must work the whole cure . It failed of course . [Desiree]208-desiree was kept in some measure from [the servants]1177-the servants , but [she]208-desiree teased and pillaged [[her]208-desiree mamma]4207-her mamma instead . Whatever belonging to [Madame]190-madame 's work - table or toilet [she]208-desiree could lay [her]208-desiree hands on , [she]208-desiree stole and hid . [Madame]190-madame saw all this , but [she]190-madame still pretended not to see : [she]190-madame had not rectitude of soul to confront [the child]4206-the child with [her]208-desiree vices . When an article disappeared whose value rendered restitution necessary , [she]190-madame would profess to think that [Desiree]208-desiree had taken it away in play , and beg [her]190-madame to restore it . [Desiree]208-desiree was not to be so cheated : [she]208-desiree had learned to bring falsehood to the aid of theft , and would deny having touched the brooch , ring , or scissors . Carrying on the hollow system , [the mother]881-the mother would calmly assume an air of belief , and afterwards ceaselessly watch and dog [the child]4206-the child till [she]881-the mother tracked [her]4206-the child : to [her]208-desiree hiding - places - some hole in [the garden - wall]1188-the garden - wall - some chink or cranny in garret or [out - house]1189-out - house . This done , [Madame]190-madame would send [Desiree]208-desiree out for a walk with [[her]190-madame bonne]1190-her bonne , and profit by [her]208-desiree absence to rob [the robber]1191-the robber . [Desiree]208-desiree proved [herself]208-desiree [the true daughter of [[her]208-desiree astute parent]1193-her astute parent]1192-the true daughter of her astute parent , by never suffering either [her]208-desiree countenance or manner to betray the least sign of mortification on discovering the loss . [The second child]1194-the second child , [Fifine]211-fifine , was said to be like [its dead father]1195-its dead father . Certainly , though [the mother]881-the mother had given [it]211-fifine [her]881-the mother healthy frame , [her]881-the mother blue eye and ruddy cheek , not from [her]881-the mother was derived [its]211-fifine moral being . [It]211-fifine was [an honest , gleeful little soul]1197-an honest , gleeful little soul : [a passionate , warm - tempered , bustling creature it was too , and of the sort likely to blunder often into perils and difficulties]1198-a passionate , warm - tempered , bustling creature it was too , and of the sort likely to blunder often into perils and difficulties . One day it bethought itself to fall from top to bottom of [a steep flight of stone steps]1199-a steep flight of stone steps ; and when [Madame]190-madame , hearing the noise [she]190-madame always heard every noise , issued from [the salle -]1200-the salle - [a- manger]1201-a- manger and picked it up , [she]190-madame said quietly , - " Cet enfant a un os casse . "[190-madame] At first [we]1202-we hoped this was not the case . It was , however , but too true : one little plump arm hung powerless . " Let [Meess]0-i "[0-i] meaning [me]0-i " take [her]190-madame , "[190-madame] said [Madame]190-madame ; " et qu'on aille tout de suite chercher un fiacre . "[190-madame] In a fiacre [she]190-madame promptly , but with admirable coolness and self- possession , departed to fetch [a surgeon]1203-a surgeon . It appeared [she]190-madame did not find [the family - surgeon]1204-the family - surgeon at [home]542-home ; but that mattered not : [she]190-madame sought until [she]190-madame laid [her]190-madame hand on a substitute to [her]190-madame mind , and brought [him]1204-the family - surgeon back with [her]190-madame . Meantime [I]0-i had cut [the child]4206-the child 's sleeve from [its]4206-the child arm , undressed and put [it]4206-the child to bed . [We]1202-we none of [us]1202-we , [I]0-i suppose by [we]1202-we [I]0-i mean [the bonne]1207-the bonne , [the cook]4341-the cook , [the portress]1079-the portress , and [myself]0-i , all which [personages]1210-personages were now gathered in [the small and heated chamber]1211-the small and heated chamber , looked very scrutinizingly at [the new doctor]1212-the new doctor when [he]1212-the new doctor came into [the room]600-the room . [I]0-i , at least , was taken up with endeavouring to soothe [Fifine]211-fifine ; whose cries for [she]211-fifine had good lungs were appalling to hear . These cries redoubled in intensity as [the stranger]4688-the stranger approached [her]211-fifine bed ; when [he]4688-the stranger took [her]211-fifine up , " Let alone ! "[211-fifine] [she]211-fifine cried passionately , in [her]211-fifine broken English for [she]211-fifine spoke English as did [the other children]1215-the other children . " [I]211-fifine will not [you]211-fifine : [I]211-fifine will [Dr. Pillule]234-dr. pillule ! "[211-fifine] " And [Dr. Pillule]234-dr. pillule is [[my]4688-the stranger very good friend]4972-my very good friend , "[4688-the stranger] was the answer , in perfect English ; " but [he]234-dr. pillule is busy at a place three leagues off , and [I]4688-the stranger am come in [his]234-dr. pillule stead . So now , when [we]4973-we get a little calmer , [we]4973-we must commence business ; and [we]4973-we will soon have that unlucky little arm bandaged and in right order . "[4688-the stranger] Hereupon [he]4688-the stranger called for a glass of eau sucree , fed [her]211-fifine with some teaspoonfuls of the sweet liquid [Fifine]211-fifine was [a frank gourmande]1216-a frank gourmande ; [anybody]4239-anybody could win [her]211-fifine heart through [her]211-fifine palate , promised [her]211-fifine more when the operation should be over , and promptly went to work . Some assistance being needed , [he]4688-the stranger demanded it of [the cook]4341-the cook , [a robust , strong- armed woman]1219-a robust , strong- armed woman ; but [she]4341-the cook , [the portress]1079-the portress , and [the nurse]588-the nurse instantly fled . [I]0-i did not like to touch that small , tortured limb , but thinking there was no alternative , [my]0-i hand was already extended to do what was requisite . [I]0-i was anticipated ; [Madame Beck]190-madame had put out [her]190-madame own hand : hers was steady while mine trembled . " Ca vaudra mieux , "[4288-the doctor] said [the doctor]4288-the doctor , turning from [me]0-i to [her]211-fifine . [He]4288-the doctor showed wisdom in [his]4288-the doctor choice . [Mine]0-i would have been feigned stoicism , forced fortitude . [Hers]211-fifine was neither forced nor feigned . " Merci , [Madame]4736-madame ; tres bien , fort bien ! "[1223-the operator] said [the operator]1223-the operator when [he]4688-the stranger had finished . " Voila un sang - froid bien opportun , et qui vaut mille elans de sensibilite deplacee . "[1223-the operator] [He]4288-the doctor was pleased with [her]211-fifine firmness , [she]211-fifine with [his]4288-the doctor compliment . It was likely , too , that [his]4288-the doctor whole general appearance , [his]4288-the doctor voice , mien , and manner , wrought impressions in [his]4288-the doctor favour . Indeed , when [you]1224-you looked well at [him]4288-the doctor , and when a lamp was brought in - for it was evening and now waxing dusk - [you]1224-you saw that , unless [Madame Beck]190-madame had been less than [woman]619-woman , it could not well be otherwise . [This young doctor]1226-this young doctor [he]4288-the doctor was young had no common aspect . [His]4288-the doctor stature looked imposingly tall in [that little chamber]1227-that little chamber , and amidst [that group of [Dutch - made women]1229-dutch - made women]1228-that group of dutch - made women ; [his]4288-the doctor profile was clear , fine and expressive : perhaps [his]4288-the doctor eye glanced from face to face rather too vividly , too quickly , and too often ; but it had a most pleasant character , and so had [his]4288-the doctor mouth ; [his]4288-the doctor chin was full , cleft , Grecian , and perfect . As to [his]4288-the doctor smile , one could not in a hurry make up [one]607-one 's mind as to the descriptive epithet it merited ; there was something in it that pleased , but something too that brought surging up into the mind all [one]607-one 's foibles and weak points : all that could lay one open to a laugh . Yet [Fifine]211-fifine liked this doubtful smile , and thought [the owner genial]1232-the owner genial : much as [he]4288-the doctor had hurt [her]190-madame , [she]190-madame held out [her]190-madame hand to bid [him]4288-the doctor a friendly good - night . [He]4288-the doctor patted the little hand kindly , and then [he]4288-the doctor and [Madame]190-madame went down - stairs together ; [she]190-madame talking in [her]190-madame highest tide of spirits and volubility , [he]4288-the doctor listening with an air of good - natured amenity , dashed with that unconscious roguish archness [I]0-i find it difficult to describe . [I]0-i noticed that though [he]4288-the doctor spoke French well , [he]4288-the doctor spoke English better ; [he]4288-the doctor had , too , an English complexion , eyes , and form . [I]0-i noticed more . As [he]4288-the doctor passed [me]0-i in leaving [the room]600-the room , turning [his]4288-the doctor face in [my]0-i direction one moment - not to address [me]0-i , but to speak to [Madame]190-madame , yet so standing , that [I]0-i almost necessarily looked up at [him]4288-the doctor - a recollection which had been struggling to form in [my]0-i memory , since the first moment [I]0-i heard [his]4288-the doctor voice , started up perfected . This was [the very gentleman to whom [I]0-i had spoken at [the bureau]1235-the bureau]1234-the very gentleman to whom i had spoken at the bureau ; who had helped [me]0-i in the matter of the trunk ; who had been [[my]0-i guide]4697-my guide through [the dark , wet park]1237-the dark , wet park . Listening , as [he]4288-the doctor passed down [the long vestibule out into [the street]623-the street]1238-the long vestibule out into the street , [I]0-i recognised [his]4288-the doctor very tread : it was the same firm and equal stride [I]0-i had followed under the dripping trees . It was , to be concluded that [this young surgeon - physician]1240-this young surgeon - physician 's first visit to [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette would be the last . The respectable [Dr. Pillule]234-dr. pillule being expected [home]542-home the next day , there appeared no reason why [[his]234-dr. pillule temporary substitute]1243-his temporary substitute should again represent [him]234-dr. pillule ; but [the Fates]1244-the fates had written [their]1244-the fates decree to the contrary . [Dr. Pillule]234-dr. pillule had been summoned to see [a rich old hypochondriac at [the antique university town of [Bouquin - Moisi]49-bouquin - moisi]1246-the antique university town of bouquin - moisi]1245-a rich old hypochondriac at the antique university town of bouquin - moisi , and upon [his]234-dr. pillule prescribing change of air and travel as remedies , [he]234-dr. pillule was retained to accompany [the timid patient]1247-the timid patient on a tour of some weeks ; it but remained , therefore , for [the new doctor]1212-the new doctor to continue [his]4288-the doctor attendance at [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette . [I]0-i often saw [him]4288-the doctor when [he]4288-the doctor came ; for [Madame]190-madame would not trust [the little invalid]1249-the little invalid to [Trinette]232-trinette , but required [me]0-i to spend much of [my]0-i time in [the nursery]4802-the nursery . [I]0-i think [he]4288-the doctor was skilful . [Fifine]211-fifine recovered rapidly under [his]4288-the doctor care , yet even [her]211-fifine convalescence did not hasten [his]4288-the doctor dismissal . [Destiny]235-destiny and [Madame Beck]190-madame seemed in league , and both had ruled that [he]4288-the doctor should make deliberate acquaintance with [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule , [the private staircase and upper chambers of [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette]1252-the private staircase and upper chambers of the rue fossette . No sooner did [Fifine]211-fifine emerge from [his]4288-the doctor hands than [Desiree]208-desiree declared [herself]208-desiree ill . [That possessed child]1254-that possessed child had a genius for simulation , and captivated by the attentions and indulgences of [a sick - room]1255-a sick - room , [she]208-desiree came to the conclusion that an illness would perfectly accommodate [her]208-desiree tastes , and took [her]208-desiree bed accordingly . [She]208-desiree acted well , and [[her]208-desiree mother]550-her mother still better ; for while the whole case was transparent to [Madame Beck]190-madame as the day , [she]550-her mother treated [it]1257-it with an astonishingly well - assured air of gravity and good faith . What surprised [me]0-i was , that [Dr. John]135-graham so [the young Englishman]1258-the young englishman had taught [Fifine]211-fifine to call [him]4288-the doctor , and [we]1259-we all took from [her]190-madame the habit of addressing [him]4288-the doctor by this name , till it became an established custom , and [he]4288-the doctor was known by no other in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette - that [Dr. John]135-graham consented tacitly to adopt [Madame]190-madame 's tactics , and to fall in with [her]190-madame manoeuvres . [He]4288-the doctor betrayed , indeed , a period of comic doubt , cast one or two rapid glances from [the child]4206-the child to [the mother]881-the mother , indulged in an interval of self- consultation , but finally resigned [himself]4288-the doctor with a good grace to play [his]4288-the doctor part in the farce . [Desiree]208-desiree eat like a raven , gambolled day and night in [her]208-desiree bed , pitched tents with the sheets and blankets , lounged like [a Turk amidst pillows and bolsters]1262-a turk amidst pillows and bolsters , diverted [herself]208-desiree with throwing [her]208-desiree shoes at [her]208-desiree bonne and grimacing at [[her]208-desiree sisters]1263-her sisters - over- flowed , in short , with unmerited health and evil spirits ; only languishing when [[her]208-desiree mamma]4207-her mamma and [the physician]1265-the physician paid [their]1266-their diurnal visit . [Madame Beck]190-madame , [I]0-i knew , was glad , at any price , to have [[her]190-madame daughter]793-her daughter in bed out of the way of mischief ; but [I]0-i wondered that [Dr. John]135-graham did not tire of the business . Every day , on this mere pretext of a motive , [he]135-graham gave punctual attendance ; [Madame]190-madame always received [him]135-graham with the same empressement , the same sunshine for [himself]135-graham , the same admirably counterfeited air of concern for [[her]190-madame child]552-her child . [Dr. John]135-graham wrote harmless prescriptions for [the patient]1269-the patient , and viewed [[her]1269-the patient mother]550-her mother with a shrewdly sparkling eye . [Madame]190-madame caught [his]135-graham rallying looks without resenting them - [she]190-madame had too much good sense for that . Supple as [the young doctor]1271-the young doctor seemed , one could not despise [him]135-graham - this pliant part was evidently not adopted in the design to curry favour with [[his]135-graham employer]1272-his employer : while [he]135-graham liked [[his]135-graham office at [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat]1273-his office at the pensionnat , and lingered strangely about [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette , [he]135-graham was independent , almost careless in [his]135-graham carriage [there]512-there ; and yet , too , [he]135-graham was often thoughtful and preoccupied . It was not perhaps [my]0-i business to observe the mystery of [his]135-graham bearing , or search out its origin or aim ; but , placed as [I]0-i was , [I]0-i could hardly help it . [He]135-graham laid [himself]135-graham open to [my]0-i observation , according to [my]0-i presence in [the room]600-the room just that degree of notice and consequence [a person of [my]0-i exterior]1277-a person of my exterior habitually expects : that is to say , about what is given to unobtrusive articles of furniture , chairs of [ordinary joiner]1278-ordinary joiner 's work , and carpets of no striking pattern . Often , while waiting for [Madame]190-madame , [he]135-graham would muse , smile , watch , or listen like [a man who thinks [himself]135-graham alone]1279-a man who thinks himself alone . [I]0-i , meantime , was free to puzzle over [his]135-graham countenance and movements , and wonder what could be the meaning of that peculiar interest and attachment - all mixed up with doubt and strangeness , and inexplicably ruled by some presiding spell - which wedded [him]135-graham to [this demi - convent]1280-this demi - convent , secluded in [the built - up core of [a capital]1282-a capital]1281-the built - up core of a capital . [He]135-graham , [I]0-i believe , never remembered that [I]0-i had eyes in [my]0-i head , much less a brain behind them . Nor would [he]135-graham ever have found this out , but that one day , while [he]135-graham sat in the sunshine and [I]0-i was observing the colouring of [his]135-graham hair , whiskers , and complexion - the whole being of such a tone as a strong light brings out with somewhat perilous force indeed [I]0-i recollect [I]0-i was driven to compare [his]135-graham beamy head in [my]0-i thoughts to that of the " golden image "[236-nebuchadnezzar] which [Nebuchadnezzar]236-nebuchadnezzar [the king]1283-the king had set up , an idea new , sudden , and startling , riveted [my]0-i attention with an over - mastering strength and power of attraction . [I]0-i know not to this day how [I]0-i looked at [him]135-graham : the force of surprise , and also of conviction , made [me]0-i forget [myself]0-i ; and [I]0-i only recovered wonted consciousness when [I]0-i saw that [his]135-graham notice was arrested , and that it had caught [my]0-i movement in a clear little oval mirror fixed in the side of the window recess - by the aid of which reflector [Madame]190-madame often secretly spied [persons]1284-persons walking in [the garden below]1285-the garden below . Though of so gay and sanguine a temperament , [he]135-graham was not without a certain nervous sensitiveness which made [him]135-graham ill at ease under a direct , inquiring gaze . On surprising [me]0-i thus , [he]135-graham turned and said , in a tone which , though courteous , had just so much dryness in it as to mark a shade of annoyance , as well as to give to what was said the character of rebuke , " [Mademoiselle]216-mademoiselle does not spare [me]0-i : [I]0-i am not vain enough to fancy that it is [my]0-i merits which attract [her]216-mademoiselle attention ; it must then be some defect . Dare [I]0-i ask - what ? "[0-i] [I]0-i was confounded , as [the reader]759-the reader may suppose , yet not with an irrecoverable confusion ; being conscious that it was from no emotion of incautious admiration , nor yet in a spirit of unjustifiable inquisitiveness , that [I]0-i had incurred this reproof . [I]0-i might have cleared [myself]0-i on the spot , but would not . [I]0-i did not speak . [I]0-i was not in the habit of speaking to [him]135-graham . Suffering [him]135-graham , then , to think what [he]135-graham chose and accuse [me]0-i of what [he]135-graham would , [I]0-i resumed some work [I]0-i had dropped , and kept [my]0-i head bent over it during the remainder of [his]135-graham stay . There is a perverse mood of the mind which is rather soothed than irritated by misconstruction ; and in quarters where [we]1287-we can never be rightly known , [we]1287-we take pleasure , [I]0-i think , in being consummately ignored . What [honest man]1288-honest man , on being casually taken for [a housebreaker]1289-a housebreaker , does not feel rather tickled than vexed at the mistake ? CHAPTER XI . [THE PORTRESS]237-the portress 'S [CABINET]238-cabinet . It was summer and very hot . [Georgette]239-georgette , [the youngest of [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's children]1291-madame beck 's children]1290-the youngest of madame beck 's children , took a fever . [Desiree]208-desiree , suddenly cured of [her]208-desiree ailments , was , together with [Fifine]211-fifine , packed off to [Bonne - Maman]50-bonne - maman , in [the country]571-the country , by way of precaution against infection . Medical aid was now really needed , and [Madame]190-madame , choosing to ignore the return of [Dr. Pillule]234-dr. pillule , who had been at [home]542-home a week , conjured [[his]234-dr. pillule English rival]1294-his english rival to continue [his]234-dr. pillule visits . [One or two of [the pensionnaires]1296-the pensionnaires]1295-one or two of the pensionnaires complained of headache , and in other respects seemed slightly to participate in [Georgette]239-georgette 's ailment . " Now , at last , "[0-i] [I]0-i thought , " [Dr. Pillule]234-dr. pillule must be recalled : [the prudent directress]4975-the prudent directress will never venture to permit the attendance of [so young a man on [the pupils]1102-the pupils]4976-so young a man on the pupils . "[0-i] [The directress]4887-the directress was very prudent , but [she]4887-the directress could also be intrepidly venturous . [She]4887-the directress actually introduced [Dr. John]135-graham to [the school - division of [the premises]1020-the premises]1298-the school - division of the premises , and established [him]135-graham in attendance on the proud and handsome [Blanche de Melcy]213-blanche , and the vain , flirting [Angelique]215-angelique , [[her]4887-the directress friend]4927-her friend . [Dr. John]135-graham , [I]0-i thought , testified a certain gratification at this mark of confidence ; and if discretion of bearing could have justified the step , it would by [him]135-graham have been amply justified . Here , however , in [this land of [convents]1302-convents and [confessionals]1303-confessionals]1301-this land of convents and confessionals , such a presence as [his]135-graham was not to be suffered with impunity in a " [pensionnat de demoiselles]4978-pensionnat de demoiselles . "[135-graham] [The school]4856-the school gossiped , [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen whispered , [the town]1306-the town caught the rumour , [parents]1307-parents wrote letters and paid visits of remonstrance . [Madame]190-madame , had [she]190-madame been weak , would now have been lost : [a dozen rival educational houses]1308-a dozen rival educational houses were ready to improve this false step - if false step it were - to [her]190-madame ruin ; but [Madame]190-madame was not weak , and little Jesuit though [she]190-madame might be , yet [I]0-i clapped the hands of [my]0-i heart , and with its voice cried " brava ! "[0-i] as [I]0-i watched [her]190-madame able bearing , [her]190-madame skilled management , [her]190-madame temper and [her]190-madame firmness on this occasion . [She]190-madame met [the alarmed parents]1309-the alarmed parents with a good - humoured , easy grace for [nobody]4256-nobody matched [her]190-madame in , [I]0-i know not whether to say the possession or the assumption of a certain " rondeur et franchise de bonne femme ; "[190-madame] which on various occasions gained the point aimed at with instant and complete success , where severe gravity and serious reasoning would probably have failed . " Ce pauvre Docteur [Jean]240-jean baptiste ! "[190-madame] [she]190-madame would say , chuckling and rubbing joyously [her]190-madame fat little white hands ; " ce cher jeune homme ! [le meilleur creature du monde]4979-le meilleur creature du monde ! "[190-madame] and go on to explain how [she]190-madame happened to be employing [him]1311-him for [[her]190-madame own children]1108-her own children , who were so fond of [him]1311-him [they]1108-her own children would scream [themselves]1108-her own children into fits at the thought of [another doctor]1313-another doctor ; how , where [she]190-madame had confidence for [her]190-madame own , [she]190-madame thought it natural to repose trust for [others]770-others , and au reste , it was only the most temporary expedient in [the world]811-the world ; [Blanche]213-blanche and [Angelique]215-angelique had the migraine ; [Dr. John]135-graham had written a prescription ; voila tout ! [The parents]1316-the parents ' mouths were closed . [Blanche]213-blanche and [Angelique]215-angelique saved [her]190-madame all remaining trouble by chanting loud duets in [[their]1316-the parents physician]1317-their physician 's praise ; [the other pupils]1318-the other pupils echoed [them]1316-the parents , unanimously declaring that when [they]1318-the other pupils were ill [they]1318-the other pupils would have [Dr. John]135-graham and [nobody else]1319-nobody else ; and [Madame]190-madame laughed , and [the parents]1316-the parents laughed too . [The Labassecouriens]1321-the labassecouriens must have a large organ of philoprogenitiveness : at least the indulgence of [offspring]1322-offspring is carried by [them]1321-the labassecouriens to excessive lengths ; the law of most households being [the children]1111-the children 's will . [Madame]190-madame now got credit for having acted on this occasion in a spirit of motherly partiality : [she]190-madame came off with flying colours ; [people]531-people liked [her]190-madame as [a directress]1325-a directress better than ever . To this day [I]0-i never fully understood why [she]190-madame thus risked [her]190-madame interest for the sake of [Dr. John]135-graham . What [people]531-people said , of course [I]0-i know well : [the whole house]1327-the whole house - [pupils]4924-pupils , [teachers]1087-teachers , [servants]1062-servants included - affirmed that [she]190-madame was going to marry [him]135-graham . So [they]1327-the whole house had settled it ; difference of age seemed to make no obstacle in [their]1327-the whole house eyes : it was to be so . It must be admitted that appearances did not wholly discountenance this idea ; [Madame]190-madame seemed so bent on retaining [his]135-graham services , so oblivious of [[her]190-madame former protege]1331-her former protege , [Pillule]234-dr. pillule . [She]190-madame made , too , such a point of personally receiving [his]135-graham visits , and was so unfailingly cheerful , blithe , and benignant in [her]190-madame manner to [him]135-graham . Moreover , [she]190-madame paid , about this time , marked attention to dress : the morning dishabille , the nightcap and shawl , were discarded ; [Dr. John]135-graham 's early visits always found [her]190-madame with auburn braids all nicely arranged , silk dress trimly fitted on , neat laced brodequins in lieu of slippers : in short the whole toilette complete as a model , and fresh as a flower . [I]0-i scarcely think , however , that [her]190-madame intention in this went further than just to show [a very handsome man]1332-a very handsome man that [she]190-madame was not quite [a plain woman]1333-a plain woman ; and plain [she]190-madame was not . Without beauty of feature or elegance of form , [she]190-madame pleased . Without youth and its gay graces , [she]190-madame cheered . [One]607-one never tired of seeing [her]190-madame : [she]190-madame was never monotonous , or insipid , or colourless , or flat . [Her]190-madame unfaded hair , [her]190-madame eye with its temperate blue light , [her]190-madame cheek with its wholesome fruit - like bloom - these things pleased in moderation , but with constancy . Had [she]190-madame , indeed , floating visions of adopting [Dr. John]135-graham as [a husband]1335-a husband , taking [him]135-graham to [[her]190-madame well - furnished home]1336-her well - furnished home , endowing [him]135-graham with [her]190-madame savings , which were said to amount to a moderate competency , and making [him]135-graham comfortable for the rest of [his]135-graham life ? Did [Dr. John]135-graham suspect [her]190-madame of such visions ? [I]0-i have met [him]135-graham coming out of [her]190-madame presence with a mischievous half - smile about [his]135-graham lips , and in [his]135-graham eyes a look as of masculine vanity elate and tickled . With all [his]135-graham good looks and good - nature , [he]135-graham was not perfect ; [he]135-graham must have been very imperfect if [he]135-graham roguishly encouraged aims [he]135-graham never intended to be successful . But did [he]135-graham not intend [them]1337-them to be successful ? [People]531-people said [he]135-graham had no money , that [he]135-graham was wholly dependent upon [his]135-graham profession . [Madame]190-madame - though perhaps some fourteen years [his]135-graham senior - was yet [the sort of woman never to grow old , never to wither , never to break down]1339-the sort of woman never to grow old , never to wither , never to break down . [They]1340-they certainly were on good terms . [He]135-graham perhaps was not in love ; but how many [people]531-people ever do love , or at least marry for love , in [this world]4390-this world . [We]1343-we waited the end . For what [he]135-graham waited , [I]0-i do not know , nor for what [he]135-graham watched ; but the peculiarity of [his]135-graham manner , [his]135-graham expectant , vigilant , absorbed , eager look , never wore off : it rather intensified . [He]135-graham had never been quite within the compass of [my]0-i penetration , and [I]0-i think [he]135-graham ranged farther and farther beyond it . One morning [little Georgette]239-georgette had been more feverish and consequently more peevish ; [she]239-georgette was crying , and would not be pacified . [I]0-i thought a particular draught ordered , disagreed with [her]239-georgette , and [I]0-i doubted whether it ought to be continued ; [I]0-i waited impatiently for [the doctor]4288-the doctor 's coming in order to consult [him]135-graham . The door - bell rang , [he]135-graham was admitted ; [I]0-i felt sure of this , for [I]0-i heard [his]135-graham voice addressing [the portress]1079-the portress . It was [his]135-graham custom to mount straight to [the nursery]4802-the nursery , taking about three degrees of the staircase at once , and coming upon [us]1347-us like a cheerful surprise . Five minutes elapsed - ten - and [I]0-i saw and heard nothing of [him]135-graham . What could [he]135-graham be doing ? Possibly waiting in [the corridor below]1348-the corridor below . [Little Georgette]239-georgette still piped [her]239-georgette plaintive wail , appealing to [me]0-i by [her]239-georgette familiar term , " [Minnie]204-modeste maria beck , [Minnie]204-modeste maria beck , [me]239-georgette very poorly ! "[239-georgette] till [my]0-i heart ached . [I]0-i descended to ascertain why [he]135-graham did not come . [The corridor]1349-the corridor was empty . Whither was [he]135-graham vanished ? Was [he]135-graham with [Madame]190-madame in [the salle - a - manger]1350-the salle - a - manger ? Impossible : [I]0-i had left [her]190-madame but a short time since , dressing in [[her]190-madame own chamber]1029-her own chamber . [I]0-i listened . [Three pupils]1352-three pupils were just then hard at work practising in [three proximate rooms]1353-three proximate rooms - [the dining - room]4338-the dining - room and [the greater and lesser drawing- rooms]1355-the greater and lesser drawing- rooms , between which and [the corridor]1349-the corridor there was but [the portress]1079-the portress 's cabinet communicating with [the salons]1358-the salons , and intended originally for a boudoir . Farther off , at a fourth instrument in [the oratory]1021-the oratory , [a whole class of a dozen or more]1360-a whole class of a dozen or more were taking a singing lesson , and just then joining in a " barcarole "[0-i] [I]0-i think [they]1360-a whole class of a dozen or more called it , whereof [I]0-i yet remember these words " fraiche , "[0-i] " brise , "[0-i] and " Venise . "[0-i] Under these circumstances , what could [I]0-i hear ? A great deal , certainly ; had it only been to the purpose . Yes ; [I]0-i heard a giddy treble laugh in the above - mentioned little cabinet , close by the door of which [I]0-i stood - that door half - unclosed ; [a man]823-a man 's voice in a soft , deep , pleading tone , uttered some , words , whereof [I]0-i only caught the adjuration , " For God 's sake ! "[823-a man] Then , after a second 's pause , forth issued [Dr. John]135-graham , [his]135-graham eye full shining , but not with either joy or triumph ; [his]135-graham fair English cheek high - coloured ; a baffled , tortured , anxious , and yet a tender meaning on [his]135-graham brow . The open door served [me]0-i as a screen ; but had [I]0-i been full in [his]135-graham way , [I]0-i believe [he]135-graham would have passed without seeing [me]0-i . Some mortification , some strong vexation had hold of [his]135-graham soul : or rather , to write [my]0-i impressions now as [I]0-i received them at the time [I]0-i should say some sorrow , some sense of injustice . [I]0-i did not so much think [his]135-graham pride was hurt , as that [his]135-graham affections had been wounded - cruelly wounded , it seemed to [me]0-i . But who was [the torturer]1362-the torturer ? What being in [that house]1363-that house had [him]135-graham so much in [her]1364-her power ? [Madame]190-madame [I]0-i believed to be in [[her]190-madame chamber]1070-her chamber ; [the room whence [he]135-graham had stepped]1366-the room whence he had stepped was dedicated to [[the portress]1079-the portress 's sole use]1368-the portress 's sole use ; and [she]190-madame , [Rosine Matou]203-rosine , [an unprincipled though pretty little French grisette , airy , fickle , dressy , vain , and mercenary]1369-an unprincipled though pretty little french grisette , airy , fickle , dressy , vain , and mercenary - it was not , surely , to [her]190-madame hand [he]135-graham owed the ordeal through which [he]135-graham seemed to have passed ? But while [I]0-i pondered , [her]190-madame voice , clear , though somewhat sharp , broke out in a lightsome French song , trilling through the door still ajar : [I]0-i glanced in , doubting [my]0-i senses . There at the table [she]190-madame sat in a smart dress of " jaconas rose , "[190-madame] trimming a tiny blond cap : not a living thing save [herself]190-madame was in [the room]600-the room , except indeed some gold fish in a glass globe , some flowers in pots , and a broad July sunbeam . Here was a problem : but [I]0-i must go up - [stairs]593-stairs to ask about the medicine . [Dr. John]135-graham sat in a chair at [Georgette]239-georgette 's bedside ; [Madame]190-madame stood before [him]135-graham ; [the little patient]1372-the little patient had been examined and soothed , and now lay composed in [[her]1372-the little patient crib]1373-her crib . [Madame Beck]190-madame , as [I]0-i entered , was discussing [the physician]1265-the physician 's own health , remarking on some real or fancied change in [his]1265-the physician looks , charging [him]1265-the physician with over - work , and recommending rest and change of air . [He]1265-the physician listened good - naturedly , but with laughing indifference , telling [her]190-madame that [she]190-madame was " trop bonne , "[190-madame] and that [he]1265-the physician felt perfectly well . [Madame]190-madame appealed to [me]0-i - [Dr. John]135-graham following [her]190-madame movement with a slow glance which seemed to express languid surprise at reference being made to a quarter so insignificant . " What do [you]0-i think , [Miss Lucie]241-miss lucie ? "[190-madame] asked [Madame]190-madame . " Is [he]1265-the physician not paler and thinner ? "[190-madame] It was very seldom that [I]0-i uttered more than monosyllables in [Dr. John]135-graham 's presence ; [he]1265-the physician was [the kind of person with whom [I]0-i was likely ever to remain the neutral , passive thing [he]1265-the physician thought [me]0-i]1375-the kind of person with whom i was likely ever to remain the neutral , passive thing he thought me . Now , however , [I]0-i took licence to answer in a phrase : and a phrase [I]0-i purposely made quite significant . " [He]1265-the physician looks ill at this moment ; but perhaps it is owing to some temporary cause : [Dr. John]135-graham may have been vexed or harassed . "[1265-the physician] [I]0-i can not tell how [he]1265-the physician took this speech , as [I]0-i never sought [his]1265-the physician face for information . [Georgette]239-georgette here began to ask [me]0-i in [her]239-georgette broken English if [she]239-georgette might have a glass of eau sucree . [I]0-i answered [her]239-georgette in English . For the first time , [I]0-i fancy , [he]1265-the physician noticed that [I]0-i spoke [his]1265-the physician language ; hitherto [he]1265-the physician had always taken [me]0-i for [a foreigner]891-a foreigner , addressing [me]0-i as " [Mademoiselle]216-mademoiselle , "[1265-the physician] and giving in French the requisite directions about [the children]1111-the children 's treatment . [He]1265-the physician seemed on the point of making a remark ; but thinking better of it , held [his]1265-the physician tongue . [Madame]190-madame recommenced advising [him]1265-the physician ; [he]1265-the physician shook [his]1265-the physician head , laughing , rose and bid [her]190-madame good - morning , with courtesy , but still with the regardless air of one whom too much unsolicited attention was surfeiting and spoiling . When [he]1265-the physician was gone , [Madame]190-madame dropped into the chair [he]1265-the physician had just left ; [she]190-madame rested [her]190-madame chin in [her]190-madame hand ; all that was animated and amiable vanished from [her]190-madame face : [she]190-madame looked stony and stern , almost mortified and morose . [She]190-madame sighed ; a single , but a deep sigh . A loud bell rang for morning - school . [She]190-madame got up ; as [she]190-madame passed a dressing - table with a glass upon it , [she]190-madame looked at [her]190-madame reflected image . One single white hair streaked [her]190-madame nut - brown tresses ; [she]190-madame plucked it out with a shudder . In the full summer daylight , [her]190-madame face , though it still had the colour , could plainly be seen to have lost the texture of youth ; and then , where were [youth]1378-youth 's contours ? Ah , [Madame]190-madame ! wise as [you]1379-you were , even [you]1379-you knew weakness . Never had [I]0-i pitied [Madame]190-madame before , but [my]0-i heart softened towards [her]190-madame , when [she]190-madame turned darkly from the glass . A calamity had come upon [her]190-madame . [That hag Disappointment]242-disappointment was greeting [her]190-madame with a grisly " All - hail , "[242-disappointment] and [her]190-madame soul rejected the intimacy . But [Rosine]203-rosine ! [My]0-i bewilderment there surpasses description . [I]0-i embraced five opportunities of passing [her]190-madame cabinet that day , with a view to contemplating [her]190-madame charms , and finding out the secret of [their]1380-their influence . [She]190-madame was pretty , young , and wore a well - made dress . All very good points , and , [I]0-i suppose , amply sufficient to account , in any philosophic mind , for any amount of agony and distraction in [a young man]4521-a young man , like [Dr. John]135-graham . Still , [I]0-i could not help forming half a wish that [the said doctor]1382-the said doctor were [[my]0-i brother]1383-my brother ; or at least that [he]1382-the said doctor had [a sister]1384-a sister or [a mother]4301-a mother who would kindly sermonize [him]1382-the said doctor . [I]0-i say half a wish ; [I]0-i broke it , and flung it away before it became a whole one , discovering in good time its exquisite folly . " [Somebody]4307-somebody , "[0-i] [I]0-i argued , " might as well sermonize [Madame]190-madame about [[her]190-madame young physician]4981-her young physician : and what good would that do ? "[0-i] [I]0-i believe [Madame]190-madame sermonized [herself]190-madame . [She]190-madame did not behave weakly , or make [herself]190-madame in any shape ridiculous . It is true [she]190-madame had neither strong feelings to overcome , nor tender feelings by which to be miserably pained . It is true likewise that [she]190-madame had an important avocation , a real business to fill [her]190-madame time , divert [her]190-madame thoughts , and divide [her]190-madame interest . It is especially true that [she]190-madame possessed a genuine good sense which is not given to [all women]1386-all women nor to [all men]1387-all men ; and by dint of these combined advantages [she]190-madame behaved wisely - [she]190-madame behaved well . [Brava]243-brava ! once more , [Madame Beck]190-madame . [I]0-i saw [you]190-madame matched against [an Apollyon of a predilection]1388-an apollyon of a predilection ; [you]190-madame fought a good fight , and [you]190-madame overcame ! CHAPTER XII . [THE CASKET]1389-the casket . Behind [the house]518-the house at [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette there was [a garden]1391-a garden - large , considering that [it]1391-a garden lay in [the heart of [a city]1393-a city]1392-the heart of a city , and to [my]0-i recollection at this day it seems pleasant : but time , like distance , lends to certain scenes an influence so softening ; and where all is stone around , blank wall and hot pavement , how precious seems one shrub , how lovely [an enclosed and planted spot of ground]1394-an enclosed and planted spot of ground ! There went a tradition that [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's house]4886-madame beck 's house had in old days been [a convent]1396-a convent . That in years gone by - how long gone by [I]0-i can not tell , but [I]0-i think some centuries - before [the city]4429-the city had over - spread [this quarter]1398-this quarter , and when [it]1399-it was tilled ground and [avenue]1400-avenue , and such deep and leafy seclusion as ought to embosom [a religious house]1401-a religious house - that something had happened on [this site]1402-this site which , rousing fear and inflicting horror , had left to the place the inheritance of a ghost - story . A vague tale went of [a black and white nun]1403-a black and white nun , sometimes , on some night or nights of the year , seen in [some part of [this vicinage]1405-this vicinage]1404-some part of this vicinage . The ghost must have been built out some ages ago , for there were houses all round now ; but [certain convent]1406-certain convent - relics , in the shape of old and huge fruit - trees , yet consecrated the spot ; and , at the foot of one - a Methuselah of a pear- tree , dead , all but a few boughs which still faithfully renewed [their]1407-their perfumed snow in spring , and [their]1407-their honey - sweet pendants in autumn - [you]1408-you saw , in scraping away the mossy earth between the half - bared roots , a glimpse of slab , smooth , hard , and black . The legend went , unconfirmed and unaccredited , but still propagated , that this was the portal of [a vault]1409-a vault , imprisoning deep beneath that ground , on whose surface grass grew and flowers bloomed , the bones of [a girl whom [a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages]1411-a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against [her]1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow vow]1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow . [Her]1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow shadow it was that [tremblers]1412-tremblers had feared , through long generations after [her]1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow poor frame was dust ; [her]1410-a girl whom a monkish conclave of the drear middle ages had here buried alive for some sin against her vow black robe and white veil that , for timid eyes , moonlight and shade had mocked , as they fluctuated in the night - wind through the garden - thicket . Independently of romantic rubbish , however , [that old garden]1413-that old garden had its charms . On summer mornings [I]0-i used to rise early , to enjoy them alone ; on summer evenings , to linger solitary , to keep tryste with the rising moon , or taste one kiss of the evening breeze , or fancy rather than feel the freshness of dew descending . The turf was verdant , the gravelled walks were white ; sun - bright nasturtiums clustered beautiful about the roots of the doddered orchard giants . There was [a large berceau , above which spread the shade of an acacia]1414-a large berceau , above which spread the shade of an acacia ; there was a smaller , more sequestered bower , nestled in the vines which ran all along a high and grey wall , and gathered their tendrils in a knot of beauty , and hung their clusters in loving profusion about the favoured spot where jasmine and ivy met and married [them]1415-them . Doubtless at high noon , in the broad , vulgar middle of the day , when [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's large school]1416-madame beck 's large school turned out rampant , and [externes]1417-externes and [pensionnaires]1418-pensionnaires were spread abroad , vying with [the denizens of [[the boys]705-the boys ' college]1421-the boys ' college]1419-the denizens of the boys ' college close at hand , in the brazen exercise of [their]1419-the denizens of the boys ' college lungs and limbs - doubtless then [the garden]1165-the garden was a trite , trodden - down place enough . But at sunset or the hour of salut , when [the externes]1095-the externes were gone [home]542-home , and [the boarders]1097-the boarders quiet at [their]1097-the boarders studies ; pleasant was it then to stray down [the peaceful alleys]1426-the peaceful alleys , and hear the bells of [St. Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste peal out with [their]1427-their sweet , soft , exalted sound . [I]0-i was walking thus one evening , and had been detained farther within the verge of twilight than usual , by the still - deepening calm , the mellow coolness , the fragrant breathing with which flowers no sunshine could win now answered the persuasion of the dew . [I]0-i saw by a light in the oratory window that [the Catholic household]1428-the catholic household were then gathered to evening prayer - a rite , from attendance on which , [I]0-i now and then , as [a Protestant]928-a protestant , exempted [myself]0-i . " One moment longer , "[928-a protestant] whispered solitude and the summer moon , ' stay with [us]1430-us : all is truly quiet now ; for another quarter of an hour [your]1431-your presence will not be missed : the day 's heat and bustle have tired [you]1431-your ; enjoy these precious minutes . " The windowless backs of [houses built in [this garden]4983-this garden]4982-houses built in this garden , and in particular the whole of one side , was skirted by the rear of a long line of [premises]4984-premises - being [the boarding - houses of [the neighbouring college]4986-the neighbouring college]4985-the boarding - houses of the neighbouring college . [This rear]4987-this rear , however , was all blank stone , with the exception of certain attic loopholes high up , opening from [the sleeping - rooms of [the women- servants]4989-the women- servants]4988-the sleeping - rooms of the women- servants , and also one casement in a lower story said to mark [the chamber or study of [a master]4991-a master]4990-the chamber or study of a master . But , though thus secure , [an alley , which ran parallel with the very high wall on that side [the garden]1165-the garden]4992-an alley , which ran parallel with the very high wall on that side the garden , was forbidden to be entered by [the pupils]1102-the pupils . It was called indeed "[1432-i] l'allee defendue , " and [any girl setting foot there]4995-any girl setting foot there would have rendered [herself]4995-any girl setting foot there liable to as severe a penalty as the mild rules of [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's establishment]4996-madame beck 's establishment permitted . [Teachers]1087-teachers might indeed go [there]512-there with impunity ; but as the walk was narrow , and the neglected shrubs were grown very thick and close on each side , weaving overhead a roof of branch and leaf which the sun 's rays penetrated but in rare chequers , [this alley]4999-this alley was seldom entered even during day , and after dusk was carefully shunned . From the first [I]1432-i was tempted to make an exception to this rule of avoidance : the seclusion , the very gloom of the walk attracted [me]1432-i . For a long time the fear of seeming singular scared [me]1432-i away ; but by degrees , as [people]531-people became accustomed to [me]1432-i and [my]1432-i habits , and to such shades of peculiarity as were engrained in [my]1432-i nature - shades , certainly not striking enough to interest , and perhaps not prominent enough to offend , but born in and with [me]1432-i , and no more to be parted with than [my]1432-i identity - by slow degrees [I]1432-i became a frequenter of this strait and narrow path . [I]1432-i made [myself]1432-i gardener of some tintless flowers that grew between its closely - ranked shrubs ; [I]1432-i cleared away the relics of past autumns , choking up a rustic seat at the far end . Borrowing of [Goton]276-goton , the cuisiniere , a pail of water and a scrubbing- brush , [I]1432-i made this seat clean . [Madame]190-madame saw [me]1432-i at work and smiled approbation : whether sincerely or not [I]1432-i do n't know ; but [she]190-madame seemed sincere . "[1432-i] Voyez - vous , " cried [she]190-madame , "[1432-i] comme elle est propre , cette demoiselle Lucie ? Vous aimez done cette allee , [Meess]1432-i ? " "[1432-i] Yes , " [I]1432-i said , "[1432-i] it is quiet and shady . " "[1432-i] C'est juste , " cried [she]190-madame with an air of bonte ; and [she]190-madame kindly recommended [me]1432-i to confine [myself]1432-i to it as much as [I]1432-i chose , saying , that as [I]1432-i was not charged with the surveillance , [I]1432-i need not trouble [myself]1432-i to walk with [the pupils]1102-the pupils : only [I]1432-i might permit [[her]190-madame children]5002-her children to come [there]512-there , to talk English with [me]1432-i . On the night in question , [I]1432-i was sitting on the hidden seat reclaimed from fungi and mould , listening to what seemed the far - off sounds of [the city]4429-the city . Far off , in truth , they were not : [this school]4877-this school was in [[the city]4429-the city 's centre]5007-the city 's centre ; hence , it was but five minutes ' walk to [the park]987-the park , scarce ten to [buildings of palatial splendour]5009-buildings of palatial splendour . Quite near were [wide streets]5010-wide streets brightly lit , teeming at this moment with life : [carriages]5011-carriages were rolling through [them]5010-wide streets to balls or to the opera . The same hour which tolled curfew for [[our]5012-our convent]5013-our convent , which extinguished each lamp , and dropped the curtain round each couch , rang for [the gay city]5014-the gay city about [us]5012-our the summons to festal enjoyment . Of this contrast [I]1432-i thought not , however : gay instincts [my]1432-i nature had few ; ball or opera [I]1432-i had never seen ; and though often [I]1432-i had heard [them]5015-them described , and even wished to see [them]5015-them , it was not the wish of one who hopes to partake a pleasure if [she]5016-she could only reach it - [who feels fitted to shine in some bright distant sphere]5017-who feels fitted to shine in some bright distant sphere , could [she]5016-she but thither win [her]5016-she way ; it was no yearning to attain , no hunger to taste ; only the calm desire to look on a new thing . A moon was in the sky , not a full moon , but a young crescent . [I]1432-i saw [her]5016-she through a space in the boughs overhead . [She]5016-she and the stars , visible beside [her]5016-she , were [no strangers]5018-no strangers where all else was strange : [my]1432-i childhood knew [them]5015-them . [I]1432-i had seen that golden sign with the dark globe in its curve leaning back on azure , beside an old thorn at the top of an old field , in [Old England]53-old england , in long past days , just as [it]5019-it now leaned back beside [a stately spire in [this continental capital]5021-this continental capital]5020-a stately spire in this continental capital . Oh , [my]1432-i childhood ! [I]1432-i had feelings : passive as [I]1432-i lived , little as [I]1432-i spoke , cold as [I]1432-i looked , when [I]1432-i thought of past days , [I]1432-i could feel . About the present , it was better to be stoical ; about the future - such a future as [mine]1432-i - to be dead . And in catalepsy and a dead trance , [I]1432-i studiously held the quick of [my]1432-i nature . At that time , [I]1432-i well remember whatever could excite - certain accidents of the weather , for instance , were almost dreaded by [me]1432-i , because they woke the being [I]1432-i was always lulling , and stirred up a craving cry [I]1432-i could not satisfy . One night a thunder - storm broke ; a sort of hurricane shook [us]5022-us in [our]5022-us beds : [the Catholics]5023-the catholics rose in panic and prayed to [[their]5023-the catholics saints]5024-their saints . As for [me]1432-i , the tempest took hold of [me]1432-i with tyranny : [I]1432-i was roughly roused and obliged to live . [I]1432-i got up and dressed [myself]1432-i , and creeping outside the casement close by [my]1432-i bed , sat on [its]5025-its ledge , with [my]1432-i feet on the roof of [a lower adjoining building]5026-a lower adjoining building . It was wet , it was wild , it was pitch - dark . Within [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory [they]5028-they gathered round the night - lamp in consternation , praying loud . [I]1432-i could not go in : too resistless was the delight of staying with the wild hour , black and full of thunder , pealing out such an ode as language never delivered to [man]618-man - too terribly glorious , the spectacle of clouds , split and pierced by white and blinding bolts . [I]1432-i did long , achingly , then and for four and twenty hours afterwards , for something to fetch [me]1432-i out of [my]1432-i present existence , and lead [me]1432-i upwards and onwards . This longing , and all of a similar kind , it was necessary to knock on the head ; which [I]1432-i did , figuratively , after the manner of [Jael]244-jael to [Sisera]245-sisera , driving a nail through [their]5028-they temples . Unlike [Sisera]245-sisera , [they]5028-they did not die : [they]5028-they were but transiently stunned , and at intervals would turn on the nail with a rebellious wrench : then did the temples bleed , and the brain thrill to its core . To - night , [I]1432-i was not so mutinous , nor so miserable . [[My]1432-i [Sisera]245-sisera]5030-my sisera lay quiet in [the tent]5031-the tent , slumbering ; and if [his]5030-my sisera pain ached through [his]5030-my sisera slumbers , something like [an angel]1143-an angel - the ideal - knelt near , dropping balm on the soothed temples , holding before the sealed eyes a magic glass , [of which the sweet , solemn visions were repeated in dreams]5033-of which the sweet , solemn visions were repeated in dreams , and shedding a reflex from [her]5030-my sisera moonlight wings and robe over [the transfixed sleeper]5034-the transfixed sleeper , over [the tent]5031-the tent threshold , over all the landscape lying without . [Jael]244-jael , [the stern woman]5036-the stern woman ; sat apart , relenting somewhat over [[her]5036-the stern woman captive]5037-her captive ; but more prone to dwell on the faithful expectation of [Heber]246-heber coming [home]542-home . By which words [I]1432-i mean that the cool peace and dewy sweetness of the night filled [me]1432-i with a mood of hope : not hope on any definite point , but a general sense of encouragement and heart - ease . Should not such a mood , so sweet , so tranquil , so unwonted , have been the harbinger of good ? Alas , no good came of it ! [I]1432-i Presently the rude Real burst coarsely in - all evil grovelling and repellent as [she]5030-my sisera too often is . Amid the intense stillness of that pile of stone overlooking [the walk]1171-the walk , the trees , the high wall , [I]1432-i heard a sound ; a casement all the windows here are casements , opening on hinges creaked . Ere [I]1432-i had time to look up and mark where , in which story , or by whom unclosed , a tree overhead shook , as if struck by a missile ; some object dropped prone at [my]1432-i feet . [Nine]247-nine was striking by [St. Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste 's clock ; day was fading , but it was not dark : the crescent moon aided little , but the deep gilding of that point in [heaven where the sun beamed last]5040-heaven where the sun beamed last , and the crystalline clearness of a wide space above , sustained the summer twilight ; even in [my]1432-i dark walk [I]1432-i could , by approaching an opening , have managed to read print of a small type . Easy was it to see then that the missile was a box , a small box of white and coloured ivory ; its loose lid opened in [my]1432-i hand ; violets lay within , violets smothering a closely folded bit of pink paper , a note , superscribed , "[1432-i] Pour la robe grise . " [I]1432-i wore indeed a dress of French grey . Good . Was this a billet - doux ? A thing [I]1432-i had heard of , but hitherto had not had the honour of seeing or handling . Was it this sort of commodity [I]1432-i held between [my]1432-i finger and thumb at this moment ? Scarcely : [I]1432-i did not dream it for a moment . [Suitor]5041-suitor or admirer [my]1432-i very thoughts had not conceived . [All the teachers]5042-all the teachers had dreams of [some lover]5043-some lover ; one but [she]5043-some lover was naturally of a credulous turn believed in [a future husband]5044-a future husband . [All the pupils above fourteen]5045-all the pupils above fourteen knew of [some prospective bridegroom]5046-some prospective bridegroom ; [two or three]5047-two or three were already affianced by [[their]5047-two or three parents]5048-their parents , and had been so from childhood : but into the realm of feelings and hopes which such prospects open , [my]1432-i speculations , far less [my]1432-i presumptions , had never once had warrant to intrude . If [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers went into [town]4930-town , or took a walk on [the boulevards]5051-the boulevards , or only attended mass , [they]5049-the other teachers were very certain according to the accounts brought back to meet with [some individual of the "[1432-i] opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze]5052-some individual of the " opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze assured [them]5052-some individual of the " opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze of [their]5052-some individual of the " opposite sex , " whose rapt , earnest gaze power to strike and to attract . [I]1432-i ca n't say that [my]1432-i experience tallied with [theirs]5049-the other teachers , in this respect . [I]1432-i went to [church]4353-church and [I]1432-i took walks , and am very well convinced that [nobody]4256-nobody minded [me]1432-i . There was [not a girl or woman in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette who could not , and did not testify to having received an admiring beam from [[our]5056-our young doctor]5057-our young doctor 's blue eyes at one time or other]5055-not a girl or woman in the rue fossette who could not , and did not testify to having received an admiring beam from our young doctor 's blue eyes at one time or other . [I]1432-i am obliged , however humbling it may sound , to except [myself]1432-i : as far as [I]1432-i was concerned , those blue eyes were guiltless , and calm as the sky , to whose tint theirs seemed akin . So it came to pass that [I]1432-i heard [the others]5058-the others talk , wondered often at [their]5058-the others gaiety , security , and self - satisfaction , but did not trouble [myself]1432-i to look up and gaze along the path [they]5058-the others seemed so certain of treading . This then was [no billet - doux]5059-no billet - doux ; and it was in settled conviction to the contrary that [I]1432-i quietly opened it . Thus it ran - [I]1432-i translate : - "[1432-i] Angel of [my]0-i dreams ! A thousand , thousand thanks for the promise kept : scarcely did [I]0-i venture to hope its fulfilment . [I]0-i believed [you]1433-you , indeed , to be half in jest ; and then [you]1433-you seemed to think the enterprise beset with such danger - the hour so untimely , [the alley so strictly secluded]1434-the alley so strictly secluded - often , [you]1433-you said , haunted by that dragon , [the English teacher]1435-the english teacher - une veritable begueule Britannique a ce que vous dites - espece [de monstre , brusque et rude comme un vieux caporal de grenadiers , et reveche comme une religieuse]1436-de monstre , brusque et rude comme un vieux caporal de grenadiers , et reveche comme une religieuse " [the reader]759-the reader will excuse [my]1433-you modesty in allowing this flattering sketch of [my]1433-you amiable self to retain the slight veil of the original tongue . "[1433-you] [You]1433-you are aware , " went on this precious effusion , "[1436-de monstre , brusque et rude comme un vieux caporal de grenadiers , et reveche comme une religieuse] that little Gustave , on account of [his]1437-his illness , has been removed to [[a master]4991-a master 's chamber]1439-a master 's chamber - [that favoured chamber , whose lattice overlooks [[your]1433-you prison - ground]1441-your prison - ground]1440-that favoured chamber , whose lattice overlooks your prison - ground . There , [I]0-i , [the best uncle in [the world]811-the world]1442-the best uncle in the world , am admitted to visit [him]1437-his . How tremblingly [I]0-i approached the window and glanced into [[your]1433-you Eden]1444-your eden - an Eden for [me]0-i , though [a desert for [you]1433-you]1445-a desert for you ! - how [I]0-i feared to behold [vacancy]1446-vacancy , or the dragon aforesaid ! How [my]0-i heart palpitated with delight when , through apertures in the envious boughs , [I]0-i at once caught the gleam of [your]1433-you graceful straw - hat , and the waving of [your]1433-you grey dress - dress that [I]0-i should recognise amongst a thousand . But why , [[my]0-i angel]1447-my angel , will [you]1433-you not look up ? Cruel , to deny [me]0-i one ray of those adorable eyes ! - how a single glance would have revived [me]0-i ! [I]0-i write this in fiery haste ; while [the physician]1265-the physician examines [Gustave]248-gustave , [I]0-i snatch an opportunity to enclose it in a small casket , together with a bouquet of flowers , the sweetest that blow - yet less sweet than [thee]1449-thee , [my]0-i Peri - [my]0-i all - charming ! ever thine - [thou]1449-thee well knowest whom ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i wish [I]0-i did know whom , " was [my]0-i comment ; and the wish bore even closer reference to [the person addressed in this choice document]5061-the person addressed in this choice document , than to [the writer thereof]5062-the writer thereof . Perhaps it was from the fiance of [one of [the engaged pupils]5064-the engaged pupils]5063-one of the engaged pupils ; and , in that case , there was no great harm done or intended - only a small irregularity . [Several of [the girls]4757-the girls]5065-several of the girls , [the majority]5067-the majority , indeed , had [brothers]5068-brothers or [cousins]5069-cousins at [the neighbouring college]4986-the neighbouring college . But "[0-i] la robe grise , le chapeau de paille , " here surely was a clue - a very confusing one . The straw - hat was an ordinary garden head - screen , common to [a score besides [myself]0-i]5071-a score besides myself . The grey dress hardly gave more definite indication . [Madame Beck]190-madame [herself]190-madame ordinarily wore a grey dress just now ; [another teacher]5072-another teacher , and [three of [the pensionnaires]1296-the pensionnaires]5073-three of the pensionnaires , had had grey dresses purchased of the same shade and fabric as [mine]0-i : it was a sort of every - day wear which happened at that time to be in vogue . Meanwhile , as [I]0-i pondered , [I]0-i knew [I]0-i must go in . Lights , moving in [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory , announced that prayers were over , and [the pupils]1102-the pupils going to bed . Another half - hour and all doors would be locked - all lights extinguished . The front door yet stood open , to admit into [the heated house]5077-the heated house the coolness of the summer night ; from [the portress]1079-the portress 's cabinet close by shone a lamp , showing [the long vestibule with the two - leaved drawing - room doors on one side]5079-the long vestibule with the two - leaved drawing - room doors on one side , the great street - door closing the vista . All at once , quick rang the bell - quick , but not loud - a cautious tinkle - a sort of warning metal whisper . [Rosine]203-rosine darted from [her]203-rosine cabinet and ran to open . [The person [she]203-rosine admitted]5080-the person she admitted stood with [her]203-rosine two minutes in [parley]5081-parley : there seemed a demur , a delay . [Rosine]203-rosine came to the garden door , lamp in hand ; [she]203-rosine stood on the steps , lifting [her]203-rosine lamp , looking round vaguely . "[0-i] Quel conte ! " [she]203-rosine cried , with a coquettish laugh . "[0-i] Personne n'y a ete . " "[0-i] Let [me]0-i pass , " pleaded a voice [I]0-i knew : "[0-i] [I]0-i ask but five minutes ; " and a familiar shape , tall and grand as [we]5082-we of [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette all thought it , issued from [the house]518-the house , and strode down amongst the beds and walks . It was sacrilege - the intrusion of [a man]823-a man into that spot , at that hour ; but [he]823-a man knew [himself]823-a man privileged , and perhaps [he]823-a man trusted to the friendly night . [He]823-a man wandered down [the alleys]4907-the alleys , looking on this side and on that - [he]823-a man was lost in the shrubs , trampling flowers and breaking branches in [his]823-a man search - [he]823-a man penetrated at last the "[0-i] forbidden walk . " There [I]135-graham met [him]823-a man , like some ghost , [I]135-graham suppose . "[135-graham] [Dr. John]135-graham ! it is found . " [He]823-a man did not ask by whom , for with [his]823-a man quick eye [he]823-a man perceived that [I]135-graham held it in [my]135-graham hand . "[135-graham] Do not betray [her]1450-her , " [he]823-a man said , looking at [me]135-graham as if [I]135-graham were indeed a dragon . "[135-graham] Were [I]0-i ever so disposed to treachery , [I]0-i can not betray what [I]0-i do not know , " was [my]135-graham answer . "[135-graham] Read the note , and [you]135-graham will see how little it reveals . " "[135-graham] Perhaps [you]135-graham have read it , " [I]135-graham thought to [myself]135-graham ; and yet [I]135-graham could not believe [he]823-a man wrote it : that could hardly be [his]823-a man style : besides , [I]135-graham was fool enough to think there would be a degree of hardship in [his]823-a man calling [me]135-graham such names . [His]823-a man own look vindicated [him]823-a man ; [he]823-a man grew hot , and coloured as [he]823-a man read . "[135-graham] This is indeed too much : this is cruel , this is humiliating , " were the words that fell from [him]823-a man . [I]135-graham thought it was cruel , when [I]135-graham saw [his]823-a man countenance so moved . No matter whether [he]823-a man was to blame or not ; [somebody]4307-somebody , it seemed to [me]135-graham , must be more to blame . "[135-graham] What shall [you]1451-i do about it ? " [he]823-a man inquired of [me]1451-i . "[1451-i] Shall [you]1451-i tell [Madame Beck]190-madame what [you]1451-i have found , and cause a stir - an esclandre ? " [I]1451-i thought [I]1451-i ought to tell , and said so ; adding that [I]1451-i did not believe there would be either stir or esclandre : [Madame]190-madame was much too prudent to make a noise about an affair of that sort connected with [[her]190-madame establishment]5087-her establishment . [He]823-a man stood looking down and meditating . [He]823-a man was both too proud and too honourable to entreat [my]1451-i secresy on a point which duty evidently commanded [me]1451-i to communicate . [I]1451-i wished to do right , yet loathed to grieve or injure [him]823-a man . Just then [Rosine]203-rosine glanced out through the open door ; [she]203-rosine could not see [us]5088-us , though between the trees [I]1451-i could plainly see [her]203-rosine : [her]203-rosine dress was grey , like [mine]1451-i . This circumstance , taken in connection with prior transactions , suggested to [me]1451-i that perhaps the case , however deplorable , was one in which [I]1451-i was under no obligation whatever to concern [myself]1451-i . Accordingly , [I]1451-i said , - "[1451-i] If [you]1452-you can assure [me]0-i that none of [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's pupils]1453-madame beck 's pupils are implicated in this business , [I]0-i shall be very happy to stand aloof from all interference . Take the casket , the bouquet , and the billet ; for [my]0-i part , [I]0-i gladly forget the whole affair . " "[0-i] Look there ! " [he]823-a man whispered suddenly , as [his]823-a man hand closed on what [I]0-i offered , and at the same time [he]823-a man pointed through the boughs . [I]0-i looked . Behold [Madame]190-madame , in shawl , wrapping - gown , and slippers , softly descending the steps , and stealing like a cat round [the garden]1165-the garden : in two minutes [she]190-madame would have been upon [Dr. John]135-graham . If [she]190-madame were like a cat , however , [he]823-a man , quite as much , resembled a leopard : nothing could be lighter than [his]823-a man tread when [he]823-a man chose . [He]823-a man watched , and as [she]190-madame turned a corner , [he]823-a man took [the garden]1165-the garden at two noiseless bounds . [She]190-madame reappeared , and [he]823-a man was gone . [Rosine]203-rosine helped [him]823-a man , instantly interposing the door between [him]823-a man and [[his]823-a man huntress]5091-his huntress . [I]0-i , too , might have got , away , but [I]0-i preferred to meet [Madame]190-madame openly . Though it was [my]0-i frequent and well - known custom to spend twilight in [the garden]1165-the garden , yet , never till now , had [I]0-i remained so late . [Full]249-full sure was [I]0-i that [Madame]190-madame had missed - was come in search of [me]0-i , and designed now to pounce on [the defaulter unawares]5093-the defaulter unawares . [I]0-i expected a reprimand . No . [Madame]190-madame was all goodness . [She]190-madame tendered not even a remonstrance ; [she]190-madame testified no shade of surprise . With that consummate tact of [hers]190-madame , in which [I]0-i believe [she]190-madame was never surpassed by living thing , [she]190-madame even professed merely to have issued forth to taste "[0-i] la brise du soir . " "[0-i] Quelle belle nuit ! " cried [she]190-madame , looking up at the stars - the moon was now gone down behind [the broad tower of [Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste]5094-the broad tower of jean baptiste . "[0-i] Qu'il fait bon ? que l'air est frais ! " And , instead of sending [me]0-i in , [she]190-madame detained [me]0-i to take a few turns with [her]190-madame down [the principal alley]5095-the principal alley . When at last [we]5096-we both re - entered , [she]190-madame leaned affably on [my]0-i shoulder by way of support in mounting the front- door steps ; at parting , [her]190-madame cheek was presented to [my]0-i lips , and "[0-i] Bon soir , [my]0-i bonne amie ; dormez bien ! " was [her]190-madame kindly adieu for the night . [I]0-i caught [myself]0-i smiling as [I]0-i lay awake and thoughtful on [my]0-i couch - smiling at [Madame]190-madame . The unction , the suavity of [her]190-madame behaviour offered , for one who knew [her]190-madame , a sure token that suspicion of some kind was busy in [her]190-madame brain . From some aperture or summit of observation , through parted bough or open window , [she]190-madame had doubtless caught a glimpse , remote or near , deceptive or instructive , of that night 's transactions . Finely accomplished as [she]190-madame was in the art of surveillance , it was next to impossible that a casket could be thrown into [[her]190-madame garden]5097-her garden , or [an interloper]5098-an interloper could cross [her]190-madame walks to seek it , without that [she]190-madame , in shaken branch , passing shade , unwonted footfall , or stilly murmur and though [Dr. John]135-graham had spoken very low in the few words [he]135-graham dropped [me]0-i , yet the hum of [[his]135-graham man]5099-his man 's voice pervaded , [I]0-i thought , the whole conventual ground - without , [I]0-i say , that [she]190-madame should have caught intimation of things extraordinary transpiring on [[her]190-madame premises]5100-her premises . What things , [she]190-madame might by no means see , or at that time be able to discover ; but a delicious little ravelled plot lay tempting [her]190-madame to disentanglement ; and in the midst , folded round and round in cobwebs , had [she]190-madame not secured "[0-i] Meess Lucie " clumsily involved , like the foolish fly [she]190-madame was ? CHAPTER XIII . A SNEEZE OUT OF SEASON . [I]0-i had occasion to smile - nay , to laugh , at [Madame]190-madame again , within the space of four and twenty hours after the little scene treated of in the last chapter . [Villette]3-villette owns a climate as variable , though not so humid , as that of [any English town]5101-any english town . A night of high wind followed upon that soft sunset , and all the next day was one of dry storm - dark , beclouded , yet rainless , - [the streets]983-the streets were dim with sand and dust , whirled from [the boulevards]5051-the boulevards . [I]0-i know not that even lovely weather would have tempted [me]0-i to spend the evening - time of study and recreation where [I]0-i had spent it yesterday . [[My]0-i alley]5104-my alley , and , indeed , all the walks and shrubs in [the garden]1165-the garden , had acquired a new , but not a pleasant interest ; [their]5106-their seclusion was now become precarious ; [their]5106-their calm - insecure . That casement which rained billets , had vulgarized [the once dear nook it overlooked]5107-the once dear nook it overlooked ; and elsewhere , the eyes of the flowers had gained vision , and the knots in the tree - boles listened like secret ears . Some plants there were , indeed , trodden down by [Dr. John]135-graham in [his]135-graham search , and [his]135-graham hasty and heedless progress , which [I]0-i wished to prop up , water , and revive ; some footmarks , too , [he]135-graham had left on the beds : but these , in spite of the strong wind , [I]0-i found a moment 's leisure to efface very early in the morning , ere common eyes had discovered them . With a pensive sort of content , [I]0-i sat down to [my]0-i desk and [my]0-i German , while [the pupils]1102-the pupils settled to [their]1102-the pupils evening lessons ; and [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers took up [their]5049-the other teachers needlework . The scene of the "[0-i] etude du soir " was always [the refectory]5110-the refectory , [a much smaller apartment than [any of the three classes or [schoolrooms]4829-schoolrooms]5112-any of the three classes or schoolrooms]5111-a much smaller apartment than any of the three classes or schoolrooms ; for [here]4212-here [none]4383-none , save [the boarders]1097-the boarders , were ever admitted , and these numbered only a score . Two lamps hung from the ceiling over the two tables ; these were lit at dusk , and their kindling was the signal for school- books being set aside , a grave demeanour assumed , general silence enforced , and then commenced "[0-i] la lecture pieuse . " This said "[0-i] lecture pieuse " was , [I]0-i soon found , mainly designed as a wholesome mortification of the Intellect , a useful humiliation of the Reason ; and such a dose for Common Sense as [she]5117-she might digest at [her]5117-she leisure , and thrive on as [she]5117-she best could . The book brought out it was never changed , but when finished , recommenced was a venerable volume , old as the hills - grey as [the Hotel de Ville]5118-the hotel de ville . [I]0-i would have given two francs for the chance of getting that book once into [my]0-i bands , turning over the sacred yellow leaves , ascertaining the title , and perusing with [my]0-i own eyes the enormous figments which , as [an unworthy heretic]5119-an unworthy heretic , it was only permitted [me]0-i to drink in with [my]0-i bewildered ears . This book contained legends of [the saints]5120-the saints . [Good God]164-god ! [I]0-i speak the words reverently what legends they were . What [gasconading rascals those saints]5121-gasconading rascals those saints must have been , if [they]5120-the saints first boasted these exploits or invented these miracles . These legends , however , were no more than monkish extravagances , over which [one]607-one laughed inwardly ; there were , besides , priestly matters , and the priestcraft of the book was far worse than its monkery . The ears burned on each side of [my]0-i head as [I]0-i listened , perforce , to tales of moral martyrdom inflicted by [Rome]54-rome ; the dread boasts of [confessors]5123-confessors , who had wickedly abused [[their]5123-confessors office]5124-their office , trampling to [deep degradation high - born ladies]5125-deep degradation high - born ladies , making of [countesses]5126-countesses and [princesses the most tormented slaves under the sun]5127-princesses the most tormented slaves under the sun . Stories like that of [Conrad]250-conrad and [Elizabeth of Hungary]251-elizabeth of hungary , recurred again and again , with all its dreadful viciousness , sickening tyranny and black impiety : tales that were nightmares of oppression , privation , and agony . [I]0-i sat out this "[0-i] lecture pieuse " for some nights as well as [I]0-i could , and as quietly too ; only once breaking off the points of [my]0-i scissors by involuntarily sticking them somewhat deep in the worm - eaten board of the table before [me]0-i . But , at last , it made [me]0-i so burning hot , and [my]0-i temples , and [my]0-i heart , and [my]0-i wrist throbbed so fast , and [my]0-i sleep afterwards was so broken with excitement , that [I]0-i could sit no longer . [Prudence]252-prudence recommended henceforward a swift clearance of [[my]0-i person]5128-my person from [the place]5129-the place , the moment that guilty old book was brought out . [No Mause Headrigg]253-no mause headrigg ever felt a stronger call to take up [her]253-no mause headrigg testimony against [Sergeant Bothwell]254-sergeant bothwell , than [I]0-i - to speak [my]0-i mind in this matter of the popish "[0-i] lecture pieuse . " However , [I]0-i did manage somehow to curb and rein in ; and though always , as soon as [Rosine]203-rosine came to light the lamps , [I]0-i shot from [the room]600-the room quickly , yet also [I]0-i did it quietly ; seizing that vantage moment given by the little bustle before the dead silence , and vanishing whilst [the boarders]1097-the boarders put [their]1097-the boarders books away . When [I]0-i vanished - it was into darkness ; candles were not allowed to be carried about , and [the teacher who forsook [the refectory]5110-the refectory]5132-the teacher who forsook the refectory , had only [the unlit hall]5134-the unlit hall , [schoolroom]1176-schoolroom , or [bedroom]5136-bedroom , as a refuge . In winter [I]0-i sought the long classes , and paced them fast to keep [myself]0-i warm - fortunate if the moon shone , and if there were only stars , soon reconciled to their dim gleam , or even to the total eclipse of their absence . In summer it was never quite dark , and then [I]0-i went up - stairs to [[my]0-i own quarter of [the long dormitory]5138-the long dormitory]5137-my own quarter of the long dormitory , opened [my]0-i own casement that chamber was lit by five casements large as great doors , and leaning out , looked forth upon [the city]4429-the city beyond [the garden]1165-the garden , and listened to band- music from [the park]987-the park or [the palace - square]5142-the palace - square , thinking meantime [my]0-i own thoughts , living [my]0-i own life , in [my]0-i own still , shadow - world . This evening , fugitive as usual before [the Pope]5143-the pope and [his]5143-the pope works , [I]0-i mounted the staircase , approached [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory , and quietly opened the door , which was always kept carefully shut , and which , like every other door in [this house]5145-this house , revolved noiselessly on well - oiled hinges . Before [I]0-i saw , [I]0-i felt that life was in [the great room]5146-the great room , usually void : not that there was either stir or breath , or rustle of sound , but [Vacuum]255-vacuum lacked , Solitude was not at [home]542-home . All the white beds - the "[0-i] lits d'ange , " as they were poetically termed - lay visible at a glance ; all were empty : [no sleeper]5148-no sleeper reposed therein . The sound of a drawer cautiously slid out struck [my]0-i ear ; stepping a little to one side , [my]0-i vision took a free range , unimpeded by falling curtains . [I]0-i now commanded [my]0-i own bed and [[my]0-i own toilet]5149-my own toilet , with a locked work - box upon it , and locked drawers underneath . Very good . [A dumpy , motherly little body]5150-a dumpy , motherly little body , in decent shawl and the cleanest of possible nightcaps , stood before this toilet , hard at work apparently doing [me]0-i the kindness of "[0-i] tidying out " the "[0-i] meuble . " Open stood the lid of the work - box , open the top drawer ; duly and impartially was each succeeding drawer opened in turn : not an article of [their]5151-their contents but was lifted and unfolded , not a paper but was glanced over , not a little box but was unlidded ; and beautiful was the adroitness , exemplary the care with which the search was accomplished . [Madame]190-madame wrought at it like a true star , "[0-i] unhasting yet unresting . " [I]0-i will not deny that it was with a secret glee [I]0-i watched [her]190-madame . Had [I]0-i been [a gentleman]629-a gentleman [I]0-i believe [Madame]190-madame would have found favour in [my]0-i eyes , [she]190-madame was so handy , neat , thorough in all [she]190-madame did : [some people]5153-some people 's movements provoke the soul by [their]5153-some people loose awkwardness , [hers]190-madame - satisfied by [their]5153-some people trim compactness . [I]0-i stood , in short , fascinated ; but it was necessary to make an effort to break this spell a retreat must be beaten . [The searcher]5154-the searcher might have turned and caught [me]0-i ; there would have been nothing for it then but a scene , and [she]190-madame and [I]0-i would have had to come all at once , with a sudden clash , to a thorough knowledge of [each other]4318-each other : down would have gone conventionalities , away swept disguises , and [I]0-i should have looked into [her]190-madame eyes , and [she]190-madame into [mine]0-i - [we]5156-we should have known that [we]5156-we could work together no more , and parted in this life for ever . Where was the use of tempting such a catastrophe ? [I]0-i was not angry , and had no wish in [the world]811-the world to leave [her]190-madame . [I]0-i could hardly get [another employer whose yoke would be so light and so , easy of carriage]5158-another employer whose yoke would be so light and so , easy of carriage ; and truly [I]0-i liked [Madame]190-madame for [her]190-madame capital sense , whatever [I]0-i might think of [her]190-madame principles : as to [her]190-madame system , it did [me]0-i no harm ; [she]190-madame might work [me]0-i with it to [her]190-madame heart 's content : nothing would come of the operation . Loverless and inexpectant of love , [I]0-i was as safe from spies in [my]0-i heart - poverty , as [the beggar from [thieves]5160-thieves in [his]5159-the beggar from thieves in his destitution of purse destitution of purse]5159-the beggar from thieves in his destitution of purse . [I]0-i turned , then , and fled ; descending the stairs with progress as swift and soundless as that of the spider , which at the same instant ran down [the bannister]5161-the bannister . How [I]0-i laughed when [I]0-i reached [the schoolroom]5162-the schoolroom . [I]0-i knew now [she]190-madame had certainly seen [Dr. John]135-graham in [the garden]1165-the garden ; [I]0-i knew what [her]190-madame thoughts were . The spectacle of a suspicious nature so far misled by its own inventions , tickled [me]0-i much . Yet as the laugh died , a kind of wrath smote [me]0-i , and then bitterness followed : it was the rock struck , and [Meribah]256-meribah 's waters gushing out . [I]0-i never had felt so strange and contradictory an inward tumult as [I]0-i felt for an hour that evening : soreness and laughter , and fire , and grief , shared [my]0-i heart between [them]5164-them . [I]0-i cried hot tears : not because [Madame]190-madame mistrusted [me]0-i - [I]0-i did not care twopence for [her]190-madame mistrust - but for other reasons . Complicated , disquieting thoughts broke up the whole repose of [my]0-i nature . However , that turmoil subsided : next day [I]0-i was again [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy . On revisiting [my]0-i drawers , [I]0-i found them all securely locked ; the closest subsequent examination could not discover change or apparent disturbance in the position of one object . [My]0-i few dresses were folded as [I]0-i had left them ; a certain little bunch of white violets that had once been silently presented to [me]0-i by [a stranger a stranger to [me]0-i]5165-a stranger a stranger to me , for [we]5166-we had never exchanged words , and which [I]0-i had dried and kept for its sweet perfume between the folds of [my]0-i best dress , lay there unstirred ; [my]0-i black silk scarf , [my]0-i lace chemisette and collars , were unrumpled . Had [she]190-madame creased one solitary article , [I]0-i own [I]0-i should have felt much greater difficulty in forgiving [her]190-madame ; but finding all straight and orderly , [I]0-i said , "[0-i] Let bygones be bygones . [I]0-i am unharmed : why should [I]0-i bear malice ? " A thing there was which puzzled [myself]0-i , and [I]0-i sought in [my]0-i brain a key to that riddle almost as sedulously as [Madame]190-madame had sought a guide to useful knowledge in [my]0-i toilet drawers . How was it that [Dr. John]135-graham , if [he]135-graham had not been accessory to the dropping of that casket into [the garden]1165-the garden , should have known that it was dropped , and appeared so promptly on the spot to seek it ? So strong was the wish to clear up this point that [I]0-i began to entertain this daring suggestion : "[0-i] Why may [I]0-i not , in case [I]0-i should ever have the opportunity , ask [Dr. John]135-graham [himself]135-graham to explain this coincidence ? " And so long as [Dr. John]135-graham was absent , [I]135-graham really believed [I]135-graham had courage to test [him]135-graham with such a question . [Little Georgette]239-georgette was now convalescent ; and [[her]239-georgette physician]5168-her physician accordingly made [his]135-graham visits very rare : indeed , [he]135-graham would have ceased them altogether , had not [Madame]190-madame insisted on [his]135-graham giving an occasional call till [the child]4206-the child should be quite well . [She]190-madame came into [the nursery]4802-the nursery one evening just after [I]135-graham had listened to [Georgette]239-georgette 's lisped and broken prayer , and had put [her]239-georgette to bed . Taking [the little one]5171-the little one 's hand , [she]190-madame said , "[135-graham] Cette enfant a toujours un peu de fievre . " And presently afterwards , looking at [me]135-graham with a quicker glance than was habitual to [her]190-madame quiet eye , "[135-graham] [Le Docteur [John]190-madame l'a - t - il vue dernierement]1454-le docteur john l'a - t - il vue dernierement ? Non , n'est - ce pas ? " Of course [she]190-madame knew this better than [any other person in [the house]518-the house]5172-any other person in the house . "[135-graham] Well , " [she]190-madame continued , "[135-graham] [I]0-i am going out , pour faire quelques courses en fiacre . [I]0-i shall call on [Dr. John]135-graham , and send [him]135-graham to [the child]4206-the child . [I]0-i will that [he]135-graham sees [her]4206-the child this evening ; [her]4206-the child cheeks are flushed , [her]4206-the child pulse is quick ; [you]1456-you will receive [him]135-graham - for [my]0-i part , [I]0-i shall be from [home]542-home . " Now [the child]4206-the child was well enough , only warm with the warmth of [July]257-july ; it was scarcely less needful to send for [a priest to administer extreme unction]5175-a priest to administer extreme unction than for [a doctor to prescribe a dose]5176-a doctor to prescribe a dose ; also [Madame]190-madame rarely made "[0-i] courses , " as [she]190-madame called [them]5177-them , in the evening : moreover , this was the first time [she]190-madame had chosen to absent [herself]190-madame on the occasion of a visit from [Dr. John]135-graham . The whole arrangement indicated some plan ; this [I]0-i saw , but without the least anxiety . "[0-i] Ha ! ha ! [Madame]190-madame , " laughed [Light - heart]258-light - heart [the Beggar]5178-the beggar , "[190-madame] [your]190-madame crafty wits are on the wrong tack . " [She]190-madame departed , attired very smartly , in a shawl of price , and a certain chapeau vert tendre - hazardous , as to its tint , for any complexion less fresh than [her]190-madame own , but , to [her]190-madame , not unbecoming . [I]190-madame wondered what [she]190-madame intended : whether [she]190-madame really would send [Dr. John]135-graham or not ; or whether indeed [he]135-graham would come : [he]135-graham might be engaged . [Madame]190-madame had charged [me]190-madame not to let [Georgette]239-georgette sleep till [the doctor]4288-the doctor came ; [I]190-madame had therefore sufficient occupation in telling [her]239-georgette nursery tales and palavering the little language for [her]239-georgette benefit . [I]190-madame affected [Georgette]239-georgette ; [she]239-georgette was [a sensitive and a loving child]5180-a sensitive and a loving child : to hold [her]239-georgette in [my]190-madame lap , or carry [her]239-georgette in [my]190-madame arms , was to [me]190-madame a treat . To - night [she]239-georgette would have [me]190-madame lay [my]190-madame head on the pillow of [[her]239-georgette crib]1373-her crib ; [she]239-georgette even put [her]239-georgette little arms round [my]190-madame neck . [Her]239-georgette clasp , and the nestling action with which [she]239-georgette pressed [her]239-georgette cheek to [mine]190-madame , made [me]190-madame almost cry with a tender pain . Feeling of no kind abounded in [that house]1363-that house ; this pure little drop from a pure little source was too sweet : it penetrated deep , and subdued the heart , and sent a gush to the eyes . Half an hour or an hour passed ; [Georgette]239-georgette murmured in [her]239-georgette soft lisp that [she]239-georgette was growing sleepy . "[190-madame] And [you]1458-you shall sleep , " thought [I]1458-you , "[1458-you] [malgre maman]1459-malgre maman and [medecin]1460-medecin , if [they]1461-they are not [here]4212-here in ten minutes . " Hark ! There was the ring , and there the tread , astonishing the staircase by the fleetness with which it left the steps behind . [Rosine]203-rosine introduced [Dr. John]135-graham , and , with a freedom of manner not altogether peculiar to [herself]203-rosine , but characteristic of [the domestics of [Villette]3-villette]5183-the domestics of villette generally , [she]203-rosine stayed to hear what [he]135-graham had to say . [Madame]190-madame 's presence would have awed [her]203-rosine back to [her]203-rosine own realm of [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule and [the cabinet]5185-the cabinet - for [mine]1458-you , or that of [any other teacher or pupil]5186-any other teacher or pupil , [she]203-rosine cared not a jot . Smart , trim and pert , [she]203-rosine stood , a hand in each pocket of [her]203-rosine gay grisette apron , eyeing [Dr. John]135-graham with no more fear or shyness than if [he]135-graham had been a picture instead of [a living gentleman]5187-a living gentleman . "[1460-medecin] [Le marmot n'a rien]230-alfred , nest - ce pas ? " said [she]203-rosine , indicating [Georgette]239-georgette with a jerk of [her]203-rosine chin . "[230-alfred] Pas beaucoup , " was the answer , as [the doctor]4288-the doctor hastily scribbled with [his]4288-the doctor pencil some harmless prescription . "[230-alfred] Eh bien ! " pursued [Rosine]203-rosine , approaching [him]135-graham quite near , while [he]135-graham put up [his]135-graham pencil . "[230-alfred] And the box - did [you]1463-you get it ? [Monsieur]1464-monsieur went off like a coup - de - vent the other night ; [I]0-i had not time to ask [him]1464-monsieur . " "[1464-monsieur] [I]0-i found it : yes . " "[0-i] And who threw it , then ? " continued [Rosine]203-rosine , speaking quite freely the very words [I]0-i should so much have wished to say , but had no address or courage to bring it out : how short [some people]5153-some people make the road to a point which , for [others]770-others , seems unattainable ! "[0-i] That may be [my]0-i secret , " rejoined [Dr. John]135-graham briefly , but with no , sort of hauteur : [he]135-graham seemed quite to understand the [Rosine]203-rosine or grisette character . "[0-i] Mais enfin , " continued [she]203-rosine , nothing abashed , "[1465-monsieur] [monsieur]1465-monsieur knew it was thrown , since be came to seek it - how did [he]1465-monsieur know ? " "[1465-monsieur] [I]0-i was attending [a little patient in [the college near]1467-the college near]1466-a little patient in the college near , " said [he]0-i , "[0-i] and saw it dropped out of [his]1466-a little patient in the college near chamber window , and so came to pick it up . " How simple the whole explanation ! The note had alluded to [a physician]528-a physician as then examining "[248-gustave] [Gustave]248-gustave . " "[248-gustave] Ah ca ! " pursued [Rosine]203-rosine ; "[248-gustave] il n'y a donc rien la - dessous : pas de mystere , pas d'amourette , par exemple ? " "[248-gustave] Pas plus que sur ma main , " responded [the doctor]4288-the doctor , showing [his]4288-the doctor palm . "[248-gustave] Quel dommage ! " responded [the grisette]5193-the grisette : "[248-gustave] et moi - a qui tout cela commencait a donner des idees . " "[248-gustave] Vraiment ! vous en etes pour vos frais , " was [the doctor]4288-the doctor 's cool rejoinder . [She]203-rosine pouted . [The doctor]4288-the doctor could not help laughing at the sort of "[248-gustave] moue " [she]203-rosine made : when [he]4288-the doctor laughed , [he]4288-the doctor had something peculiarly good - natured and genial in [his]4288-the doctor look . [I]248-gustave saw [his]4288-the doctor hand incline to [his]4288-the doctor pocket . "[248-gustave] How many times have [you]1468-you opened the door for [me]0-i within this last month ? " [he]4288-the doctor asked . "[1468-you] [Monsieur]1469-monsieur ought to have kept count of that , " said [Rosine]203-rosine , quite readily . "[1469-monsieur] As if [I]0-i had not something better to do ! " rejoined [he]4288-the doctor ; but [I]1469-monsieur saw [him]4288-the doctor give [her]203-rosine a piece of gold , which [she]203-rosine took unscrupulously , and then danced off to answer the door - bell , ringing just now every five minutes , as [the various servants]5196-the various servants came to fetch [the half - boarders]5197-the half - boarders . [The reader]759-the reader must not think too hardly of [Rosine]203-rosine ; on the whole , [she]203-rosine was not [a bad sort of person]5199-a bad sort of person , and had no idea there could be any disgrace in grasping at whatever [she]203-rosine could get , or any effrontery in chattering like a pie to [the best gentleman in [Christendom]55-christendom]5200-the best gentleman in christendom . [I]1469-monsieur had learnt something from the above scene besides what concerned the ivory box : viz . , that not on the robe de jaconas , pink or grey , nor yet on the frilled and pocketed apron , lay the blame of breaking [Dr. John]135-graham 's heart : these items of array were obviously guiltless as [Georgette]239-georgette 's little blue tunic . So much the better . But who then was [the culprit]5201-the culprit ? What was the ground - what the origin - what the perfect explanation of the whole business ? Some points had been cleared , but how many yet remained obscure as night ! "[1469-monsieur] However , " [I]1469-monsieur said to [myself]1469-monsieur , "[1469-monsieur] it is no affair of [yours]1470-yours ; " and turning from the face on which [I]1469-monsieur had been unconsciously dwelling with a questioning gaze , [I]1469-monsieur looked through the window which commanded [the garden below]1285-the garden below . [Dr. John]135-graham , meantime , standing by the bed - side , was slowly drawing on [his]135-graham gloves and watching [[his]135-graham little patient]5203-his little patient , as [her]5203-his little patient eyes closed and [her]5203-his little patient rosy lips parted in coming sleep . [I]1469-monsieur waited till [he]135-graham should depart as usual , with a quick bow and scarce articulate "[1469-monsieur] good- night . " . Just as [he]135-graham took [his]135-graham hat , [my]1469-monsieur eyes , fixed on [the tall houses bounding [the garden]1165-the garden]5204-the tall houses bounding the garden , saw the one lattice , already commemorated , cautiously open ; forth from the aperture projected a hand and a white handkerchief ; both waved . [I]1469-monsieur know not whether the signal was answered from [some viewless quarter of [[our]5207-our own dwelling]5208-our own dwelling]5206-some viewless quarter of our own dwelling ; but immediately after there fluttered from , the lattice a falling object , white and light - billet the second , of course . "[1469-monsieur] There ! " [I]1469-monsieur ejaculated involuntarily . "[1469-monsieur] Where ? " , asked [Dr. John]135-graham with energy , making direct for the window . "[1469-monsieur] What , is it ? " "[1469-monsieur] [They]1471-they have gone and done it again , " was [my]1471-they reply . "[1471-they] A handkerchief waved and something fell : " and [I]1471-they pointed to the lattice , now closed and looking hypocritically blank . "[1471-they] Go , at once ; pick it up and bring it here , " was [his]135-graham prompt direction ; adding , "[4256-nobody] [Nobody]4256-nobody will take notice of [you]1473-you : [I]0-i should be seen . " Straight [I]0-i went . After some little search , [I]0-i found a folded paper , lodged on the lower branch of a shrub ; [I]0-i seized and brought it direct to [Dr. John]135-graham . This time , [I]0-i believe not even [Rosine]203-rosine saw [me]0-i . [He]135-graham instantly tore the billet into small pieces , without reading it . "[0-i] It is not in the least [her]1474-her fault , [you]1473-you must remember , " [he]135-graham said , looking at [me]1474-her . "[1474-her] Whose fault ? " [I]1474-her asked . "[1474-her] Who is it ? " "[1473-you] [You]1473-you do n't yet know , then ? " "[1473-you] Not in the least . " "[1473-you] Have [you]1473-you no guess ? " "[1473-you] None . " "[1473-you] If [I]0-i knew [you]1473-you better , [I]0-i might be tempted to risk some confidence , and thus secure [you]1473-you as guardian over [a most innocent and excellent , but somewhat inexperienced being]1475-a most innocent and excellent , but somewhat inexperienced being . " "[1476-a duenna] As [a duenna]1476-a duenna ? " [I]1476-a duenna asked . "[1476-a duenna] Yes , " said [he]135-graham abstractedly . "[1476-a duenna] What snares are round [her]1474-her ! " [he]135-graham added , musingly : and now , certainly for the first time , [he]135-graham examined [my]0-i face , anxious , doubtless , to see if any kindly expression there , would warrant [him]135-graham in recommending to [my]0-i care and indulgence [some ethereal creature , against whom powers of darkness were plotting]5209-some ethereal creature , against whom powers of darkness were plotting . [I]0-i felt no particular vocation to undertake the surveillance of [ethereal creatures]5210-ethereal creatures ; but recalling the scene at [the bureau]1235-the bureau , it seemed to [me]0-i that [I]0-i owed [him]135-graham a good turn : if [I]0-i could help [him]135-graham then [I]0-i would , and it lay not with [me]0-i to decide how . With as little reluctance as might be , [I]0-i intimated that "[0-i] [I]0-i was willing to do what [I]0-i could towards taking care of any person in whom [he]1477-he might be interested . " . "[0-i] [I]0-i am no farther interested than as [a spectator]1478-a spectator , " said [he]135-graham , with a modesty , admirable , as [I]0-i thought , to witness . "[0-i] [I]0-i happen to be acquainted with [the rather worthless character of [the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of [this place]1481-this place]1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place]1479-the rather worthless character of the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place ; [I]0-i have also met in [society the object at whom these vulgar attempts are aimed]1482-society the object at whom these vulgar attempts are aimed . [Her]1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place exquisite superiority and innate refinement ought , one would think , to scare impertinence from [her]1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place very idea . It is not so , however ; and innocent , unsuspicious as [she]1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place is , [I]0-i would guard [her]1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place from evil if [I]0-i could . In person , however , [I]0-i can do nothing [I]0-i can not come near [her]1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place " - [he]0-i paused . "[0-i] Well , [I]0-i am willing to help [you]0-i , " said [I]0-i , "[0-i] only tell [me]0-i how . " And busily , in [my]0-i own mind , [I]0-i ran over the list of [[our]1483-our inmates]5212-our inmates , seeking this paragon , this pearl of great price , this gem without flaw . "[0-i] It must be [Madame]190-madame , " [I]190-madame concluded . "[190-madame] [She]1480-the person , who , from the house opposite , has now twice invaded the , sanctity of this place only , amongst [us]1483-our all , has the art even to seem superior : but as to being unsuspicious , inexperienced , c. , [Dr. John]135-graham need not distract [himself]135-graham about that . However , this is just [his]135-graham whim , and [I]0-i will not contradict [him]135-graham ; [he]135-graham shall be humoured : [[his]135-graham angel]1484-his angel shall be [an angel]1143-an angel . " Just notify the quarter to which [my]0-i care is to be directed , "[0-i] [I]0-i continued gravely : chuckling , however , to [myself]0-i over the thought of being set to chaperon [Madame Beck]190-madame or [any of [her]190-madame pupils]1486-any of her pupils . Now [Dr. John]135-graham had a fine set of nerves , and [he]135-graham at once felt by instinct , what [no more coarsely constituted mind]1487-no more coarsely constituted mind would have detected ; namely , that [I]0-i was a little amused at [him]135-graham . The colour rose to [his]135-graham cheek ; with half a smile [he]135-graham turned and took [his]135-graham hat - [he]135-graham was going . [My]0-i heart smote [me]0-i . " [I]0-i will - [I]0-i will help [you]135-graham , "[0-i] said [I]0-i eagerly . " [I]0-i will do what [you]135-graham wish . [I]0-i will watch over [[your]135-graham angel]5213-your angel ; [I]0-i will take care of [her]5213-your angel , only tell [me]0-i who [she]5213-your angel is . "[0-i] " But [you]0-i must know , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham then with earnestness , yet speaking very low . " So spotless , so good , so unspeakably beautiful ! impossible that [one house]5214-one house should contain two like [her]5213-your angel . [I]135-graham allude , of course - "[135-graham] Here the latch of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's chamber - door opening into [the nursery]4802-the nursery gave a sudden click , as if the hand holding it had been slightly convulsed ; there was the suppressed explosion of an irrepressible sneeze . These little accidents will happen to the best of [us]1489-us . [Madame]190-madame - [excellent woman]1490-excellent woman ! was then on duty . [She]190-madame had come [home]542-home quietly , stolen up - stairs on tip - toe ; [she]190-madame was in [[her]190-madame chamber]1070-her chamber . If [she]190-madame had not sneezed , [she]190-madame would have heard all , and so should [I]0-i ; but [that unlucky sternutation]1493-that unlucky sternutation routed [Dr. John]135-graham . While [he]135-graham stood aghast , [she]190-madame came forward alert , composed , in the best yet most tranquil spirits : no novice to [her]190-madame habits but would have thought [she]190-madame had just come in , and scouted the idea of [her]190-madame ear having been glued to the key - hole for at least ten minutes . [She]190-madame affected to sneeze again , declared [she]190-madame was " enrhumee , "[190-madame] and then proceeded volubly to recount [her]190-madame " courses en fiacre . "[190-madame] The prayer - bell rang , and [I]0-i left [her]190-madame with [the doctor]4288-the doctor . CHAPTER XIV . THE FETE . As soon as [Georgette]239-georgette was well , [Madame]190-madame sent [her]239-georgette away into [the country]571-the country . [I]0-i was sorry ; [I]0-i loved [the child]4206-the child , and [her]4206-the child loss made [me]0-i poorer than before . But [I]0-i must not complain . [I]0-i lived in [a house full of robust life]1497-a house full of robust life ; [I]0-i might have had [companions]4518-companions , and [I]0-i chose solitude . [Each of [the teachers]4800-the teachers]1499-each of the teachers in turn made [me]0-i overtures of special intimacy ; [I]0-i tried them all . One [I]0-i found to be [an honest woman]1501-an honest woman , but [a narrow thinker]1502-a narrow thinker , [a coarse feeler]1503-a coarse feeler , and [an egotist]1504-an egotist . [The second]1505-the second was [a Parisienne]1506-a parisienne , externally refined - at heart , [corrupt - without a creed]1507-corrupt - without a creed , without a principle , without an affection : having penetrated the outward crust of decorum in this character , [you]1508-you found a slough beneath . [She]1506-a parisienne had a wonderful passion for presents ; and , in this point , [the third teacher]1509-the third teacher - [a person otherwise characterless and insignificant]1510-a person otherwise characterless and insignificant - closely resembled [her]1506-a parisienne . [This last - named]1511-this last - named had also one other distinctive property - that of avarice . In [her]1506-a parisienne reigned the love of money for its own sake . The sight of a piece of gold would bring into [her]1506-a parisienne eyes a green glisten , singular to witness . [She]1506-a parisienne once , as a mark of high favour , took [me]0-i up - stairs , and , opening a secret door , showed [me]0-i a hoard - a mass of coarse , large coin - about fifteen guineas , in five - franc pieces . [She]1506-a parisienne loved this hoard as a bird loves its eggs . These were [her]1506-a parisienne savings . [She]1506-a parisienne would come and talk to [me]0-i about them with [an infatuated and persevering dotage]1512-an infatuated and persevering dotage , strange to behold in [a person not yet twenty - five]1513-a person not yet twenty - five . [The Parisienne]260-the parisienne , on the other hand , was prodigal and profligate in disposition , that is : as to action , [I]0-i do not know . That latter quality showed its snake - head to [me]0-i but once , peeping out very cautiously . A curious kind of reptile it seemed , judging from the glimpse [I]0-i got ; its novelty whetted [my]0-i curiosity : if it would have come out boldly , perhaps [I]0-i might philosophically have stood [my]0-i ground , and coolly surveyed the long thing from forked tongue to scaly tail - tip ; but it merely rustled in the leaves of a bad novel ; and , on encountering a hasty and ill - advised demonstration of wrath , recoiled and vanished , hissing . [She]1506-a parisienne hated [me]0-i from that day . [This Parisienne]260-the parisienne was always in debt ; [her]1506-a parisienne salary being anticipated , not only in dress , but in perfumes , cosmetics , confectionery , and condiments . What a cold , callous epicure [she]1506-a parisienne was in all things ! [I]0-i see [her]1506-a parisienne now . Thin in face and figure , sallow in complexion , regular in features , with perfect teeth , lips like a thread , a large , prominent chin , a well - opened , but frozen eye , of light at once craving and ingrate . [She]1506-a parisienne mortally hated work , and loved what [she]1506-a parisienne called pleasure ; being an insipid , heartless , brainless dissipation of time . [Madame Beck]190-madame knew [this woman]1514-this woman 's character perfectly well . [She]190-madame once talked to [me]0-i about [her]1506-a parisienne , with an odd mixture of discrimination , indifference , and antipathy . [I]0-i asked why [she]190-madame kept [her]1506-a parisienne in [the establishment]1092-the establishment . [She]190-madame answered plainly , " because it suited [her]190-madame interest to do so ; "[190-madame] and pointed out a fact [I]0-i had already noticed , namely , that [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle possessed , in an almost unique degree , the power of keeping order amongst [[her]261-mademoiselle undisciplined ranks of [scholars]1517-scholars]1516-her undisciplined ranks of scholars . A certain petrifying influence accompanied and surrounded [her]1506-a parisienne : without passion , noise , or violence , [she]1506-a parisienne held them in check as a breezeless frost - air might still a brawling stream . [She]1506-a parisienne was of little use as far as communication of knowledge went , but for strict surveillance and maintenance of rules [she]1506-a parisienne was invaluable . " Je sais bien qu'elle n'a pas de principes , ni , peut - etre , de moeurs , "[190-madame] admitted [Madame]190-madame frankly ; but added with philosophy , ' son maintien en classe est toujours convenable et rempli meme d'une certaine dignite : c'est tout ce qu'il faut . Ni les eleves ni les parents ne regardent plus loin ; ni , par consequent , moi non plus . " [A strange , frolicsome , noisy little world]5215-a strange , frolicsome , noisy little world was [this school]4877-this school : great pains were taken to hide chains with flowers : a subtle essence of Romanism pervaded every arrangement : large sensual indulgence so to speak was permitted by way of counterpoise to jealous spiritual restraint . Each mind was being reared in slavery ; but , to prevent reflection from dwelling on this fact , every pretext for physical recreation was seized and made the most of . There , as elsewhere , [the CHURCH]5217-the church strove to bring up [[her]1506-a parisienne children]5002-her children robust in body , feeble in soul , fat , ruddy , hale , joyous , ignorant , unthinking , unquestioning . "[190-madame] Eat , drink , and live ! " [she]1506-a parisienne says . "[190-madame] Look after [your]1518-their bodies ; leave [your]1518-their souls to [me]0-i . [I]0-i hold [their]1518-their cure - guide [their]1518-their course : [I]0-i guarantee [their]1518-their final fate . " A bargain , in which [every true Catholic]5219-every true catholic deems [himself]5219-every true catholic a gainer . [Lucifer]262-lucifer just offers the same terms : "[0-i] All this power will [I]0-i give [thee]1518-their , and the glory of it ; for that is delivered unto [me]0-i , and to whomsoever [I]0-i will [I]0-i give it . If [thou]1519-thou , therefore , wilt worship [me]0-i , all shall be thine ! " About this time - in the ripest glow of summer - [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's house]4886-madame beck 's house became as merry a place as [a school]939-a school could well be . All day long the broad folding - doors and the two - leaved casements stood wide open : settled sunshine seemed naturalized in the atmosphere ; clouds were far off , sailing away beyond [sea]5222-sea , resting , no doubt , [round islands such as [England]19-england]5223-round islands such as england - [that dear land of mists]5224-that dear land of mists - but withdrawn wholly from [the drier continent]5225-the drier continent . [We]5226-we lived far more in [the garden]1165-the garden than under a roof : classes were held , and meals partaken of , in [the "[1519-thou] grand berceau]5228-the " grand berceau . " Moreover , there was a note of holiday preparation , which almost turned freedom into licence . The autumnal long vacation was but two months distant ; but before that , a great day - an important ceremony - none other than the fete of [Madame]190-madame - awaited celebration . The conduct of this fete devolved chiefly on [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle : [Madame]190-madame [herself]190-madame being supposed to stand aloof , disinterestedly unconscious of what might be going forward in [her]190-madame honour . Especially , [she]190-madame never knew , never in the least suspected , that a subscription was annually levied on [the whole school]4864-the whole school for the purchase of a handsome present . The polite tact of [the reader]759-the reader will please to leave out of the account a brief , secret consultation on this point in [[Madame]190-madame 's own chamber]5231-madame 's own chamber . "[1519-thou] What will [you]1520-you have this year ? " was asked by [[her]190-madame Parisian lieutenant]5232-her parisian lieutenant . "[1520-you] Oh , no matter ! Let it alone . Let [the poor children]1521-the poor children keep [their]1521-the poor children francs , " And [Madame]190-madame looked benign and modest . [The St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle would here protrude [her]261-mademoiselle chin ; [she]261-mademoiselle knew [Madame]190-madame by heart ; [she]261-mademoiselle always called [her]261-mademoiselle airs of "[1521-the poor children] bonte " - "[1521-the poor children] des grimaces . " [She]261-mademoiselle never even professed to respect [them]5233-them one instant . "[1521-the poor children] Vite ! " [she]261-mademoiselle would say coldly . "[1521-the poor children] Name the article . Shall it be jewellery or porcelain , haberdashery or silver ? " "[1521-the poor children] Eh bien ! Deux ou trois cuillers , et autant de fourchettes en argent . " And the result was a handsome case , containing 300 francs worth of plate . The programme of the fete - day 's proceedings comprised : Presentation of plate , collation in [the garden]1165-the garden , dramatic performance with [pupils]4924-pupils and [teachers]1087-teachers for [actors]5237-actors , a dance and supper . Very gorgeous seemed the effect of the whole to [me]1521-the poor children , as [I]1521-the poor children well remember . [Zelie St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle understood these things and managed them ably . The play was the main point ; a month 's previous drilling being there required . The choice , too , of [the actors]5238-the actors required knowledge and care ; then came lessons in elocution , in attitude , and then the fatigue of countless rehearsals . For all this , as may well be supposed , [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle did not suffice : other management , other accomplishments than [hers]261-mademoiselle were requisite here . [They]5238-the actors were supplied in the person of [a master]4991-a master - [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul , [professor of literature]5240-professor of literature . It was never [my]1521-the poor children lot to be present at the histrionic lessons of [M. Paul]196-m. paul , but [I]1521-the poor children often saw [him]196-m. paul as [he]196-m. paul crossed the carre [a square hall between [the dwelling - house]4822-the dwelling - house and [school - house]5243-school - house]5241-a square hall between the dwelling - house and school - house . [I]1521-the poor children heard [him]196-m. paul , too , in the warm evenings , lecturing with open doors , and [his]196-m. paul name , with anecdotes of [him]196-m. paul , resounded in ones ears from all sides . Especially [[our]5244-our former acquaintance]5245-our former acquaintance , [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , - who had been selected to take a prominent part in the play - used , in bestowing upon [me]1521-the poor children a large portion of [her]179-ginevra leisure , to lard [her]179-ginevra discourse with frequent allusions to [his]196-m. paul sayings and doings . [She]179-ginevra esteemed [him]196-m. paul hideously plain , and used to profess [herself]179-ginevra frightened almost into hysterics at the sound of [his]196-m. paul step or voice . [A dark little man]5246-a dark little man [he]196-m. paul certainly was ; pungent and austere . Even to [me]1521-the poor children [he]196-m. paul seemed [a harsh apparition]5247-a harsh apparition , with [his]196-m. paul close- shorn , black head , [his]196-m. paul broad , sallow brow , [his]196-m. paul thin cheek , [his]196-m. paul wide and quivering nostril , [his]196-m. paul thorough glance , and hurried bearing . Irritable [he]196-m. paul was ; [one]607-one heard that , as [he]196-m. paul apostrophized with vehemence the awkward squad under [his]196-m. paul orders . Sometimes [he]196-m. paul would break out on [these raw amateur actresses]5249-these raw amateur actresses with a passion of impatience at [their]5249-these raw amateur actresses falseness of conception , [their]5249-these raw amateur actresses coldness of emotion , [their]5249-these raw amateur actresses feebleness of delivery . "[1521-the poor children] Ecoutez ! " [he]196-m. paul would cry ; and then [his]196-m. paul voice rang through [the premises]1020-the premises like a trumpet ; and when , mimicking it , came the small pipe of [a Ginevra]179-ginevra , [a Mathilde]5251-a mathilde , or [a Blanche]5252-a blanche , [one]607-one understood why a hollow groan of scorn , or a fierce hiss of rage , rewarded the tame echo . "[1521-the poor children] Vous n'etes donc que des poupees , " [I]1521-the poor children heard [him]196-m. paul thunder . "[1521-the poor children] Vous n'avez pas de passions - vous autres . Vous ne sentez donc rien ? Votre chair est de neige , votre sang de glace ! Moi , je veux que tout cela s'allume , qu'il ait une vie , une ame ! " Vain resolve ! And when [he]196-m. paul at last found it was vain , [he]196-m. paul suddenly broke the whole business down . Hitherto [he]196-m. paul had been teaching [them]5249-these raw amateur actresses a grand tragedy ; [he]196-m. paul tore the tragedy in morsels , and came next day with a compact little comic trifle . To this [they]5249-these raw amateur actresses took more kindly ; [he]196-m. paul presently knocked it all into [their]5249-these raw amateur actresses smooth round pates . [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle always presided at [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's lessons , and [I]1522-i was told that the polish of [her]261-mademoiselle manner , [her]261-mademoiselle seeming attention , [her]261-mademoiselle tact and grace , impressed [that gentleman]5254-that gentleman very favourably . [She]261-mademoiselle had , indeed , the art of pleasing , for a given time , whom [she]261-mademoiselle would ; but the feeling would not last : in an hour it was dried like dew , vanished like gossamer . The day preceding [Madame]190-madame 's fete was as much a holiday as the fete itself . It was devoted to clearing out , cleaning , arranging and decorating [the three schoolrooms]5255-the three schoolrooms . All within - doors was the gayest bustle ; neither up - stairs nor down could [a quiet , isolated person]5256-a quiet , isolated person find rest for the sole of [her]5256-a quiet , isolated person foot ; accordingly , for [my]1522-i part , [I]1522-i took refuge in [the garden]1165-the garden . The whole day did [I]1522-i wander or sit there alone , finding warmth in the sun , shelter among the trees , and a sort of companionship in [my]1522-i own thoughts . [I]1522-i well remember that [I]1522-i exchanged but two sentences that day with [any living being]5258-any living being : not that [I]1522-i felt solitary ; [I]1522-i was glad to be quiet . For [a looker - on]5259-a looker - on , it sufficed to pass through [the rooms]5260-the rooms once or twice , observe what changes were being wrought , how [a green - room]5261-a green - room and [a dressing - room]5262-a dressing - room were being contrived , a little stage with scenery erected , how [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul , in conjunction with [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , was directing all , and how [an eager band of [pupils]4924-pupils]5263-an eager band of pupils , amongst them [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , were working gaily under [his]196-m. paul control . The great day arrived . The sun rose hot and unclouded , and hot and unclouded it burned on till evening . All the doors and all the windows were set open , which gave a pleasant sense of summer freedom - and freedom the most complete seemed indeed the order of the day . [Teachers]1087-teachers and [pupils]4924-pupils descended to breakfast in dressing - gowns and curl - papers : anticipating "[1522-i] avec delices " the toilette of the evening , [they]4924-pupils seemed to take a pleasure in indulging that forenoon in a luxury of slovenliness ; like [aldermen]5267-aldermen fasting in preparation for a feast . About nine o'clock A.M. , [an important functionary]5268-an important functionary , [the "[1522-i] coiffeur]5269-the " coiffeur , " arrived . Sacrilegious to state , [he]5269-the " coiffeur fixed [his]5269-the " coiffeur head - quarters in [the oratory]1021-the oratory , and there , in presence of benitier , candle , and crucifix , solemnised the mysteries of [his]5269-the " coiffeur art . [Each girl]5271-each girl was summoned in turn to pass through [his]5269-the " coiffeur hands ; emerging from them with head as smooth as a shell , intersected by faultless white lines , and wreathed about with Grecian plaits that shone as if lacquered . [I]1522-i took [my]1522-i turn with the rest , and could hardly believe what the glass said when [I]1522-i applied to it for information afterwards ; the lavished garlandry of woven brown hair amazed [me]1522-i - [I]1522-i feared it was not all [my]1522-i own , and it required several convincing pulls to give assurance to the contrary . [I]1522-i then acknowledged in [the coiffeur]5272-the coiffeur [a first - rate artist]5273-a first - rate artist - [one who certainly made the most of indifferent materials]5274-one who certainly made the most of indifferent materials . [The oratory]1021-the oratory closed , [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory became the scene of ablutions , arrayings and bedizenings curiously elaborate . To [me]1522-i it was , and ever must be an enigma , how [they]5277-they contrived to spend so much time in doing so little . The operation seemed close , intricate , prolonged : the result simple . A clear white muslin dress , a blue sash the Virgin 's colours , a pair of white , or straw - colour kid gloves - such was the gala uniform , to the assumption whereof [that houseful of [teachers]1087-teachers and [pupils]4924-pupils]5278-that houseful of teachers and pupils devoted three mortal hours . But though simple , it must be allowed the array was perfect - perfect in fashion , fit , and freshness ; [every head being also dressed with exquisite nicety , and a certain compact taste]5281-every head being also dressed with exquisite nicety , and a certain compact taste - suiting the full , firm comeliness of Labassecourien contours , though too stiff for any more flowing and flexible style of beauty - the general effect was , on the whole , commendable . In beholding this diaphanous and snowy mass , [I]1522-i well remember feeling [myself]1522-i to be a mere shadowy spot on a field of light ; the courage was not in [me]1522-i to put on a transparent white dress : something thin [I]1522-i must wear - the weather and [rooms]5282-rooms being too hot to give substantial fabrics sufferance , so [I]1522-i had sought through [a dozen shops]5283-a dozen shops till [I]1522-i lit upon a crape - like material of purple - gray - the colour , in short , of dun mist , lying on [a moor]5284-a moor in bloom . [[My]1522-i tailleuse]5285-my tailleuse had kindly made it as well as [she]1522-i could : because , as [she]1522-i judiciously observed , it was ' si triste - si pen voyant , "[1522-i] care in the fashion was the more imperative : it was well [she]1522-i took this view of the matter , for [I]0-i , had no flower , no jewel to relieve it : and , what was more , [I]0-i had no natural rose of complexion . [We]1523-we become oblivious of these deficiencies in the uniform routine of daily drudgery , but [they]1524-they will force upon [us]1523-we [their]1524-they unwelcome blank on those bright occasions when beauty should shine . However , in this same gown of shadow , [I]0-i felt at [home]542-home and at ease ; an advantage [I]0-i should not have enjoyed in anything more brilliant or striking . [Madame Beck]190-madame , too , kept [me]0-i in countenance ; [her]190-madame dress was almost as quiet as [mine]0-i , except that [she]190-madame wore a bracelet , and a large brooch bright with gold and fine stones . [We]1523-we chanced to meet on [the stairs]1526-the stairs , and [she]190-madame gave [me]0-i a nod and smile of approbation . Not that [she]190-madame thought [I]0-i was looking well - a point unlikely to engage [her]190-madame interest - but [she]190-madame considered [me]0-i dressed " convenablement , "[190-madame] " decemment , "[190-madame] and la Convenance et la Decence were [the two calm deities of [Madame]190-madame 's worship]1527-the two calm deities of madame 's worship . [She]190-madame even paused , laid on [my]0-i shoulder [her]190-madame gloved hand , holding an embroidered and perfumed handkerchief , and confided to [my]0-i ear a sarcasm on [the other teachers whom [she]190-madame had just been complimenting to [their]1528-the other teachers whom she had just been complimenting to their faces faces]1528-the other teachers whom she had just been complimenting to their faces . " Nothing so absurd , "[190-madame] [she]190-madame said , " as for [des femmes mures]5286-des femmes mures ' to dress [themselves]5286-des femmes mures like [girls of fifteen]5287-girls of fifteen ' - quant a la . [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , elle a l'air d'une vieille coquette qui fait l'ingenue . "[190-madame] Being dressed at least a couple of hours before [anybody else]1529-anybody else , [I]0-i felt a pleasure in betaking [myself]0-i - not to [the garden]1165-the garden , where [servants]1062-servants were busy propping up long tables , placing seats , and spreading cloths in readiness for the collation but to [the schoolrooms]1532-the schoolrooms , now empty , quiet , cool , and clean ; [their]1532-the schoolrooms walls fresh stained , [their]1532-the schoolrooms planked floors fresh scoured and scarce dry ; flowers fresh gathered adorning the recesses in pots , and draperies , fresh hung , beautifying the great windows . Withdrawing to [the first classe]1533-the first classe , [a smaller and neater room than [the others]5058-the others]1534-a smaller and neater room than the others , and taking from the glazed bookcase , of which [I]0-i kept the key , a volume whose title promised some interest , [I]0-i sat down to read . The glass - door of [this " classe , "[0-i] or [schoolroom]1176-schoolroom]1536-this " classe , " or schoolroom , opened into the large berceau ; acacia - boughs caressed [its]1538-its panes , as they stretched across to meet a rose - bush blooming by the opposite lintel : in this rose - bush bees murmured busy and happy . [I]0-i commenced reading . Just as the stilly hum , the embowering shade , the warm , lonely calm of [my]0-i retreat were beginning to steal meaning from the page , vision from [my]0-i eyes , and to lure [me]0-i along the track of reverie , down into some deep dell of dreamland - just then , the sharpest ring of the street - door bell to which that much - tried instrument had ever thrilled , snatched [me]0-i back to consciousness . Now the bell had been ringing all the morning , as [workmen]1539-workmen , or [servants]1062-servants , or [coiffeurs]1541-coiffeurs , or [tailleuses]1542-tailleuses , went and came on [their]1532-the schoolrooms several errands . Moreover , there was good reason to expect it would ring all the afternoon , since [about one hundred externes]1543-about one hundred externes were yet to arrive in [carriages]5011-carriages or fiacres : nor could it be expected to rest during the evening , when [parents]1307-parents and [friends]533-friends would gather thronging to the play . Under these circumstances , a ring - even a sharp ring - was a matter of course : yet this particular peal had an accent of its own , which chased [my]0-i dream , and startled [my]0-i book from [my]0-i knee . [I]0-i was stooping to pick up this last , when - firm , fast , straight - right on through vestibule - along [corridor]1547-corridor , across carre , through [first division]1548-first division , second division , [grand salle]1549-grand salle - strode a step , quick , regular , intent . The closed door of [the first classe]1533-the first classe - [[my]0-i sanctuary]1551-my sanctuary - offered no obstacle ; it burst open , and a paletot and [a bonnet grec]1552-a bonnet grec filled the void ; also two eyes first vaguely struck upon , and then hungrily dived into [me]0-i . " C'est cela ! "[1553-he] said a voice . " Je la connais : c'est l'Anglaise . Tant pis . Toute Anglaise , et , par consequent , toute begueule qu'elle soit - elle fera mon affaire , ou je saurai pourquoi . "[1553-he] Then , with a certain stern politeness [I]0-i suppose [he]1553-he thought [I]0-i had not caught the drift of [his]1553-he previous uncivil mutterings , and in a jargon the most execrable that ever was heard , " Meess - - , play [you]0-i must : [I]1553-he am planted there . "[1553-he] " What can [I]0-i do for [you]0-i , [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul ? "[0-i] [I]0-i inquired : for [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul it was , and in a state of no little excitement . " Play [you]0-i must . [I]196-m. paul will not have [you]0-i shrink , or frown , or make the prude . [I]196-m. paul read [your]0-i skull that night [you]0-i came ; [I]196-m. paul see [[your]0-i moyens]5288-your moyens : play [you]0-i can ; play [you]0-i must . "[196-m. paul] " But how , [M. Paul]196-m. paul ? What do [you]196-m. paul mean ? "[1553-he] " There is no time to be lost , "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul went on , now speaking in French ; " and let [us]5289-us thrust to the wall all reluctance , all excuses , all minauderies . [You]0-i must take a part . "[196-m. paul] " In the vaudeville ? "[1553-he] " In the vaudeville . [You]196-m. paul have said it . "[0-i] [I]0-i gasped , horror - struck . What did [the little man]1008-the little man mean ? " Listen ! "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul said . " The case shall be stated , and [you]0-i shall then answer [me]196-m. paul Yes , or No ; and according to [your]0-i answer shall [I]196-m. paul ever after estimate [you]0-i . "[196-m. paul] The scarce - suppressed impetus of a most irritable nature glowed in [his]196-m. paul cheek , fed with sharp shafts [his]196-m. paul glances , a nature - the injudicious , [the mawkish]1555-the mawkish , the hesitating , [the sullen]1556-the sullen , [the affected]1557-the affected , above all , the unyielding , might quickly render violent and implacable . Silence and attention was the best balm to apply : [I]0-i listened . " The whole matter is going to fail , "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul began . " [Louise Vanderkelkov]263-louise vanderkelkov has fallen ill - at least so [[her]263-louise vanderkelkov ridiculous mother]5290-her ridiculous mother asserts ; for [my]196-m. paul part , [I]196-m. paul feel sure [she]263-louise vanderkelkov might play if [she]263-louise vanderkelkov would : it is only good - will that lacks . [She]263-louise vanderkelkov was charged with a role , as [you]0-i know , or do not know - it is equal : without that role the play is stopped . There are now but a few hours in which to learn it : [not a girl in [this school]4877-this school]5291-not a girl in this school would hear reason , and accept the task . [Forsooth]264-forsooth , it is not an interesting , not an amiable , part ; [their]264-forsooth vile amour - propre - that base quality of which [women]4398-women have so much - would revolt from it . [Englishwomen]1114-englishwomen are either the best or the worst of [their]1114-englishwomen sex . Dieu sait que je les deteste comme la peste , ordinairement "[196-m. paul] this between [his]196-m. paul recreant teeth . " [I]196-m. paul apply to [an Englishwoman]530-an englishwoman to rescue [me]196-m. paul . What is [her]530-an englishwoman answer - Yes , or No ? "[196-m. paul] A thousand objections rushed into [my]0-i mind . The foreign language , the limited time , the public display ... Inclination recoiled , [Ability]265-ability faltered , Self - respect that " vile quality "[265-ability] trembled . " Non , non , non ! "[196-m. paul] said all these ; but looking up at [M. Paul]196-m. paul , and seeing in [his]196-m. paul vexed , fiery , and searching eye , a sort of appeal behind all its menace , [my]0-i lips dropped the word " oui "[196-m. paul] . For a moment [his]196-m. paul rigid countenance relaxed with a quiver of content : quickly bent up again , however , [he]196-m. paul went on , - " Vite a l'ouvrage ! Here is the book ; here is [your]0-i role : read . "[196-m. paul] And [I]0-i read . [He]196-m. paul did not commend ; at some passages [he]196-m. paul scowled and stamped . [He]196-m. paul gave [me]0-i a lesson : [I]0-i diligently imitated . It was a disagreeable part - [a man]823-a man 's - [an empty - headed fop 's]1559-an empty - headed fop 's . [One]607-one could put into it neither heart nor soul : [I]0-i hated it . The play - a mere trifle - ran chiefly on the efforts of [a brace of [rivals]1562-rivals]1561-a brace of rivals to gain the hand of [a fair coquette]1563-a fair coquette . [One lover]1564-one lover was called the " [Ours]5296-ours , "[1564-one lover] [a good and gallant but unpolished man , a sort of diamond in the rough]1565-a good and gallant but unpolished man , a sort of diamond in the rough ; the other was a butterfly , [a talker]1566-a talker , and [a traitor]1567-a traitor : and [I]0-i was to be the butterfly , [talker]1568-talker , and [traitor]1569-traitor . [I]0-i did [my]0-i best - which was bad , [I]0-i know : it provoked [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; [he]196-m. paul fumed . Putting both - hands to the work , [I]0-i endeavoured to do better than [my]0-i best ; [I]0-i presume [he]196-m. paul gave [me]0-i credit for good intentions ; [he]196-m. paul professed to be partially content . " Ca ira ! "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul cried ; and as voices began sounding from [the garden]1165-the garden , and white dresses fluttering among the trees , [he]196-m. paul added : " [You]0-i must withdraw : [you]0-i must be alone to learn this . Come with [me]196-m. paul . "[196-m. paul] Without being allowed time or power to deliberate , [I]0-i found [myself]0-i in the same breath convoyed along as in a species of whirlwind , [up- stairs]1571-up- stairs , up [two pair of stairs]1572-two pair of stairs , nay , actually up three for [this fiery little man]1573-this fiery little man seemed as by instinct to know [his]1573-this fiery little man way everywhere ; to [the solitary and lofty attic]1574-the solitary and lofty attic was [I]0-i borne , put in and locked in , the key being , in the door , and that key [he]1573-this fiery little man took with [him]1573-this fiery little man and vanished . [The attic]1575-the attic was [no pleasant place]1576-no pleasant place : [I]0-i believe [he]1573-this fiery little man did not know how unpleasant it was , or [he]1573-this fiery little man never would have locked [me]0-i in with so little ceremony . In this summer weather , it was hot as [Africa]56-africa ; as in winter , it was always cold as [Greenland]57-greenland . Boxes and lumber filled [it]1575-the attic ; old dresses draped [its]1575-the attic unstained wall - cobwebs [its]1575-the attic unswept ceiling . Well was [it]1575-the attic known to be tenanted by rats , by black beetles , and by cockroaches - nay , rumour affirmed that [the ghostly Nun of [the garden]1165-the garden]1577-the ghostly nun of the garden had once been seen [here]4212-here . A partial darkness obscured one end , across which , as for deeper mystery , an old russet curtain was drawn , by way of screen to a sombre band of winter cloaks , pendent each from its pin , like [a malefactor from [his]1573-this fiery little man gibbet]1580-a malefactor from his gibbet . From amongst these cloaks , and behind that curtain , [the Nun]1581-the nun was said to issue . [I]0-i did not believe this , nor was [I]0-i troubled by apprehension thereof ; but [I]0-i saw a very dark and large rat , with a long tail , come gliding out from that squalid alcove ; and , moreover , [my]0-i eye fell on many a black - beetle , dotting the floor . These objects discomposed [me]0-i more , perhaps , than it would be wise to say , as also did the dust , lumber , and stifling heat of [the place]5129-the place . The last inconvenience would soon have become intolerable , had [I]0-i not found means to open and prop up the skylight , thus admitting some freshness . Underneath this aperture [I]0-i pushed a large empty chest , and having mounted upon it a smaller box , and wiped from both the dust , [I]0-i gathered [my]0-i dress [my]0-i best , [the reader]759-the reader must remember , and therefore a legitimate object of care fastidiously around [me]0-i , ascended this species of extempore throne , and being seated , commenced the acquisition of [my]0-i task ; while [I]0-i learned , not forgetting to keep a sharp look - out on the black - beetles and cockroaches , of which , more even , [I]0-i believe , than of the rats , [I]0-i sat in mortal dread . [My]0-i impression at first was that [I]0-i had undertaken what it really was impossible to perform , and [I]0-i simply resolved to do [my]0-i best and be resigned to fail . [I]0-i soon found , however , that one part in so short a piece was not more than memory could master at a few hours ' notice . [I]0-i learned and learned on , first in a whisper , and then aloud . Perfectly secure from [human audience]1584-human audience , [I]0-i acted [my]0-i part before the garret - vermin . Entering into its emptiness , frivolity , and falsehood , with a spirit inspired by scorn and impatience , [I]0-i took [my]0-i revenge on this " fat , "[1584-human audience] by making [him]1585-him as fatuitous as [I]0-i possibly could . In this exercise the afternoon passed : day began to glide into evening ; and [I]0-i , who had eaten nothing since breakfast , grew excessively hungry . Now [I]0-i thought of the collation , which doubtless [they]1586-they were just then devouring in [the garden far below]1587-the garden far below . [I]0-i had seen in [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule a basketful of small pates a la creme , than which nothing in the whole range of cookery seemed to [me]0-i better . A pate , or a square of cake , it seemed to [me]0-i would come very apropos ; and as [my]0-i relish for those dainties increased , it began to appear somewhat hard that [I]0-i should pass [my]0-i holiday , fasting and in [prison]1589-prison . Remote as was [the attic from [the street]623-the street - door and [vestibule]1592-vestibule]1590-the attic from the street - door and vestibule , yet the ever - tinkling bell was faintly audible here ; and also the ceaseless roll of wheels , on the tormented pavement . [I]0-i knew that [the house]518-the house and [garden]1594-garden were thronged , and that all was gay and glad below ; here it began to grow dusk : the beetles were fading from [my]0-i sight ; [I]0-i trembled lest [they]1586-they should steal on [me]0-i a march , mount [my]0-i throne unseen , and , unsuspected , invade [my]0-i skirts . Impatient and apprehensive , [I]0-i recommenced the rehearsal of [my]0-i part merely to kill time . Just as [I]0-i was concluding , the long - delayed rattle of the key in the lock came to [my]0-i ear - no unwelcome sound . [M. Paul]196-m. paul [I]0-i could just see through the dusk that it was [M. Paul]196-m. paul , for light enough still lingered to show the velvet blackness of [his]196-m. paul close - shorn head , and the sallow ivory of [his]196-m. paul brow looked in . " [Brava]243-brava ! "[196-m. paul] cried [he]196-m. paul , holding the door open and remaining at the threshold . " J'ai tout entendu . C'est assez bien . Encore ! "[196-m. paul] A moment [I]0-i hesitated . " Encore ! "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul sternly . " Et point de grimaces ! A bas la timidite ! "[196-m. paul] Again [I]0-i went through the part , but not half so well as [I]0-i had spoken it alone . " Enfin , elle sait , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul , half dissatisfied , " and [one]607-one can not be fastidious or exacting under the circumstances . "[196-m. paul] Then [he]196-m. paul added , " [You]0-i may yet have twenty minutes for preparation : au revoir ! "[196-m. paul] And [he]196-m. paul was going . " [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , "[0-i] [I]0-i called out , taking courage . " Eh bien ! Qu'est - ce que c'est , Mademoiselle ? "[0-i] " J'ai bien faim . "[196-m. paul] " Comment , vous avez faim ! Et la collation ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i know nothing about it . [I]0-i have not seen it , shut up here . "[0-i] " Ah ! C'est vrai , "[196-m. paul] cried [he]196-m. paul . In a moment [my]0-i throne was abdicated , [the attic]1575-the attic evacuated ; an inverse repetition of the impetus which had brought [me]0-i up into [the attic]1575-the attic , instantly took [me]0-i down - down - down to [the very kitchen]1597-the very kitchen . [I]0-i thought [I]0-i should have gone to [the cellar]1598-the cellar . [The cook]4341-the cook was imperatively ordered to produce food , and [I]0-i , as imperatively , was commanded to eat . To [my]0-i great joy this food was limited to coffee and cake : [I]0-i had feared wine and sweets , which [I]0-i did not like . How [he]196-m. paul guessed that [I]0-i should like a petit pate a la creme [I]0-i can not tell ; but [he]196-m. paul went out and procured [me]0-i one from some quarter . With considerable willingness [I]0-i ate and drank , keeping the petit pate till the last , as a bonne bouche . [M. Paul]196-m. paul superintended [my]0-i repast , and almost forced upon [me]0-i more than [I]0-i could swallow . " A la bonne heure , "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul cried , when [I]0-i signified that [I]0-i really could take no more , and , with uplifted hands , implored to be spared the additional roll on which [he]196-m. paul had just spread butter . " [You]0-i will set [me]0-i down as [a species of tyrant]5299-a species of tyrant and [Bluebeard]266-bluebeard , starving women in a garret ; whereas , after all , [I]0-i am no such thing . Now , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , do [you]261-mademoiselle feel courage and strength to appear ? "[0-i] [I]0-i said , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i did ; though , in truth , [I]0-i was perfectly confused , and could hardly tell how [I]0-i felt : but [this little man]1600-this little man was of the order of [beings who must not be opposed]1601-beings who must not be opposed , unless [you]1602-you possessed an all - dominant force sufficient to crush [him]1600-this little man at once . " Come then , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul , offering [his]196-m. paul hand . [I]0-i gave [him]196-m. paul [mine]0-i , and [he]196-m. paul set off with a rapid walk , which obliged [me]0-i to run at [his]196-m. paul side in order to keep pace . In [the carre]4820-the carre [he]196-m. paul stopped a moment : [it]4820-the carre was lit with large lamps ; the wide doors of [the classes]4828-the classes were open , and so were [the equally wide garden]1605-the equally wide garden - doors ; orange - trees in tubs , and tall flowers in pots , ornamented these portals on each side ; groups of [ladies]622-ladies and [gentlemen in evening - dress]1607-gentlemen in evening - dress stood and walked amongst the flowers . Within , the long vista of [the school - rooms]1608-the school - rooms presented a thronging , undulating , murmuring , waving , streaming multitude , all rose , and blue , and half translucent white . There were lustres burning overhead ; far off there was [a stage]1609-a stage , a solemn green curtain , a row of footlights . " Nest - ce pas que c'est beau ? "[546-my companion] demanded [[my]0-i companion]546-my companion . [I]0-i should have said it was , but [my]0-i heart got up into [my]0-i throat . [M. Paul]196-m. paul discovered this , and gave [me]0-i a side - scowl and a little shake for [my]0-i pains . " [I]0-i will do [my]0-i best , but [I]0-i wish it was over , "[0-i] said [I]0-i ; then [I]0-i asked : " Are [we]1611-we to walk through [that crowd]5300-that crowd ? "[0-i] " By no means : [I]196-m. paul manage matters better : [we]1611-we pass through [the garden]1165-the garden - here . "[196-m. paul] In an instant [we]1611-we were out of doors : the cool , calm night revived [me]0-i somewhat . It was moonless , but the reflex from the many glowing windows lit [the court]1612-the court brightly , and even [the alleys]4907-the alleys - dimly . [Heaven]1614-heaven was cloudless , and grand with the quiver of [its]1614-heaven living fires . How soft are the nights of [the Continent]18-the continent ! How bland , balmy , safe ! No sea - fog ; no chilling damp : mistless as noon , and fresh as morning . Having crossed [court]1615-court and [garden]1594-garden , [we]1611-we reached the glass door of [the first classe]1533-the first classe . [It]1618-it stood open , like all other doors that night ; [we]1611-we passed , and then [I]0-i was ushered into a small cabinet , dividing [the first classe]1533-the first classe from [the grand salle]1620-the grand salle . This cabinet dazzled [me]0-i , it was so full of light : it deafened [me]0-i , it was clamorous with voices : it stifled [me]0-i , it was so hot , choking , thronged . " De l'ordre ! Du silence ! "[196-m. paul] cried [M. Paul]196-m. paul . " Is this chaos ? "[196-m. paul] , [he]196-m. paul demanded ; and there was a hush . With a dozen words , and as many gestures , [he]196-m. paul turned out half [the persons present]1621-the persons present , and obliged [the remnant]1622-the remnant to fall into rank . [Those left]1623-those left were all in costume : [they]1623-those left were [the performers]1624-the performers , and this was [the green - room]1625-the green - room . [M. Paul]196-m. paul introduced [me]0-i . [All]4382-all stared and some tittered . It was a surprise : [they]4382-all had not expected [the Englishwoman]1627-the englishwoman would play in a vaudeville . [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , beautifully dressed for [her]179-ginevra part , and looking fascinatingly pretty , turned on [me]0-i a pair of eyes as round as beads . In the highest spirit , unperturbed by fear or bashfulness , delighted indeed at the thought of shining off before [hundreds]1628-hundreds - [my]0-i entrance seemed to transfix [her]179-ginevra with amazement in the midst of [her]179-ginevra joy . [She]179-ginevra would have exclaimed , but [M. Paul]196-m. paul held [her]179-ginevra and all the rest in check . Having surveyed and criticized [the whole troop]1629-the whole troop , [he]196-m. paul turned to [me]0-i . " [You]0-i , too , must be dressed for [your]0-i part . "[196-m. paul] " Dressed - dressed like [a man]823-a man ! "[261-mademoiselle] exclaimed [Zelie St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , darting forwards ; adding with officiousness , " [I]261-mademoiselle will dress [her]179-ginevra [myself]261-mademoiselle . "[261-mademoiselle] To be dressed like [a man]823-a man did not please , and would not suit [me]0-i . [I]0-i had consented to take [a man]823-a man 's name and part ; as to [his]823-a man dress - halte la ! No . [I]0-i would keep [my]0-i own dress , come what might . [M. Paul]196-m. paul might storm , might rage : [I]0-i would keep [my]0-i own dress . [I]0-i said so , with a voice as resolute in intent , as it was low , and perhaps unsteady in utterance . [He]823-a man did not immediately storm or rage , as [I]0-i fully thought [he]823-a man would [he]823-a man stood silent . But [Zelie]261-mademoiselle again interposed . " [She]261-mademoiselle will make a capital petit - maitre . Here are the garments , all - all complete : somewhat too large , but - [I]261-mademoiselle will arrange all that . Come , chere amie - [belle Anglaise]189-anglaise ! "[261-mademoiselle] And [she]261-mademoiselle sneered , for [I]0-i was not " belle . "[261-mademoiselle] [She]261-mademoiselle seized [my]0-i hand , [she]261-mademoiselle was drawing [me]0-i away . [M. Paul]196-m. paul stood impassable - neutral . " [You]0-i must not resist , "[196-m. paul] pursued [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle - for resist [I]0-i did . " [You]0-i will spoil all , destroy the mirth of the piece , the enjoyment of [the company]5303-the company , sacrifice everything to [your]0-i amour - propre . This would be too bad - [monsieur]1465-monsieur will never permit this ? "[261-mademoiselle] [She]261-mademoiselle sought [his]823-a man eye . [I]0-i watched , likewise , for a glance . [He]823-a man gave [her]261-mademoiselle one , and then [he]823-a man gave [me]0-i one . " Stop ! "[823-a man] [he]823-a man said slowly , arresting [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , who continued [her]261-mademoiselle efforts to drag [me]0-i after [her]261-mademoiselle . [Everybody]4957-everybody awaited the decision . [He]823-a man was not angry , not irritated ; [I]0-i perceived that , and took heart . " [You]0-i do not like these clothes ? "[823-a man] [he]823-a man asked , pointing to the masculine vestments . " [I]823-a man do n't object to some of them , but [I]823-a man wo n't have them all . "[823-a man] " How must it be , then ? How accept [a man]823-a man 's part , and go on the stage dressed as [a woman]4363-a woman ? This is an amateur affair , it is true - a vaudeville de pensionnat ; certain modifications [I]1633-monsieur might sanction , yet something [you]0-i must have to announce [you]0-i as of the nobler sex . "[1633-monsieur] " And [I]1633-monsieur will , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur ; but it must be arranged in [my]1633-monsieur own way : [nobody]4256-nobody must meddle ; the things must not be forced upon [me]1633-monsieur . Just let [me]1633-monsieur dress [myself]1633-monsieur . "[1633-monsieur] [Monsieur]1633-monsieur , without another word , took the costume from [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , gave it to [me]0-i , and permitted [me]0-i to pass into [the dressing - room]1634-the dressing - room . Once alone , [I]0-i grew calm , and collectedly went to work . Retaining [[my]0-i woman]1635-my woman 's garb without the slightest retrenchment , [I]0-i merely assumed , in addition , a little vest , a collar , and cravat , and a paletot of small dimensions ; the whole being the costume of [a brother of one of [the pupils]1102-the pupils]1636-a brother of one of the pupils . Having loosened [my]0-i hair out of its braids , made up the long back - hair close , and brushed the front hair to one side , [I]0-i took [my]0-i hat and gloves in [my]0-i hand and came out . [M. Paul]196-m. paul was waiting , and so were [the others]5058-the others . [He]196-m. paul looked at [me]0-i . " That may pass in a pensionnat , "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul pronounced . Then added , not unkindly , " Courage , [mon ami]5309-mon ami ! Un peu de sangfroid - un peu d'aplomb , [M. Lucien]267-m. lucien , et tout ira bien . "[261-mademoiselle] [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle sneered again , in [her]261-mademoiselle cold snaky manner . [I]0-i was irritable , because excited , and [I]0-i could not help turning upon [her]261-mademoiselle and saying , that if [she]261-mademoiselle were not [a lady]1639-a lady and [I]0-i [a gentleman]629-a gentleman , [I]0-i should feel disposed to call [her]261-mademoiselle out . " After the play , after the play , "[196-m. paul] said [M. Paul]196-m. paul . " [I]196-m. paul will then divide [my]196-m. paul pair of pistols between [you]0-i , and [we]1641-us will settle the dispute according to form : it will only be the old quarrel of [France]15-france and [England]19-england . "[196-m. paul] But now the moment approached for the performance to commence . [M. Paul]196-m. paul , setting [us]1641-us before [him]196-m. paul , harangued [us]1641-us briefly , like a general addressing [soldiers about to charge]1642-soldiers about to charge . [I]0-i do n't know what [he]196-m. paul said , except that [he]196-m. paul recommended each to penetrate [herself]261-mademoiselle with a sense of [her]261-mademoiselle personal insignificance . God knows [I]0-i thought this advice superfluous for [some of [us]1641-us]1643-some of us . A bell tinkled . [I]0-i and [two more]1644-two more were ushered on to [the stage]1645-the stage . The bell tinkled again . [I]0-i had to speak the very first words . " Do not look at [the crowd]5310-the crowd , nor think of it , "[196-m. paul] whispered [M. Paul]196-m. paul in [my]0-i ear . " Imagine [yourself]0-i in [the garret]5311-the garret , acting to the rats . "[196-m. paul] [He]196-m. paul vanished . The curtain drew up - shrivelled to the ceiling : the bright lights , [the long room]1646-the long room , [the gay throng]1647-the gay throng , burst upon [us]1641-us . [I]0-i thought of the black - beetles , the old boxes , the worm - eaten bureau . [I]0-i said [my]0-i say badly ; but [I]0-i said it . That first speech was the difficulty ; it revealed to [me]0-i this fact , that it was not the crowd [I]0-i feared so much as [my]0-i own voice . [Foreigners]4583-foreigners and [strangers]870-strangers , [the crowd]5310-the crowd were nothing to [me]0-i . Nor did [I]0-i think of [them]5310-the crowd . When [my]0-i tongue once got free , and [my]0-i voice took its true pitch , and found its natural tone , [I]0-i thought of nothing but the personage [I]0-i represented - and of [M. Paul]196-m. paul , who was listening , watching , prompting in the side - scenes . By - and - by , feeling the right power come - the spring demanded gush and rise inwardly - [I]0-i became sufficiently composed to notice [[my]0-i fellow- actors]1651-my fellow- actors . [Some of [them]1651-my fellow- actors]4841-some of them played very well ; especially [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , who had to coquette between [two suitors]1653-two suitors , and managed admirably : in fact [she]179-ginevra was in [her]179-ginevra element . [I]0-i observed that [she]179-ginevra once or twice threw a certain marked fondness and pointed partiality into [her]179-ginevra manner towards [me]0-i - the fop . With such emphasis and animation did [she]179-ginevra favour [me]0-i , such glances did [she]179-ginevra dart out into the listening and applauding crowd , that to [me]0-i - who knew [her]179-ginevra - it presently became evident [she]179-ginevra was acting at [some one]1654-some one ; and [I]0-i followed [her]179-ginevra eye , [her]179-ginevra smile , [her]179-ginevra gesture , and ere long discovered that [she]179-ginevra had at least singled out a handsome and distinguished aim for [her]179-ginevra shafts ; full in the path of those arrows - taller than [other spectators]1655-other spectators , and therefore more sure to receive [them]1656-them - stood , in attitude quiet but intent , a well - known form - that of [Dr. John]135-graham . The spectacle seemed somehow suggestive . There was language in [Dr. John]135-graham 's look , though [I]0-i can not tell what [he]135-graham said ; it animated [me]0-i : [I]0-i drew out of it a history ; [I]0-i put [my]0-i idea into the part [I]0-i per formed ; [I]0-i threw it into [my]0-i wooing of [Ginevra]179-ginevra . In the " [Ours]5312-ours , "[1657-sincere lover] or [sincere lover]1657-sincere lover , [I]0-i saw [Dr. John]135-graham . Did [I]0-i pity [him]135-graham , as erst ? No , [I]0-i hardened [my]0-i heart , rivalled and out - rivalled [him]135-graham . [I]0-i knew [myself]0-i but a fop , but where [he]135-graham was outcast [I]0-i could please . Now [I]0-i know acted as if wishful and resolute to win and conquer . [Ginevra]179-ginevra seconded [me]0-i ; between [us]1658-us [we]1658-us half- changed the nature of the role , gilding it from top to toe . Between the acts [M. Paul]196-m. paul , told [us]1658-us [he]196-m. paul knew not what possessed [us]1658-us , and half expostulated . " C'est peut - etre plus beau que votre modele , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul , " mais ce n'est pas juste . "[196-m. paul] [I]0-i know not what possessed [me]0-i either ; but somehow , [my]0-i longing was to eclipse the " Ours , "[0-i] [i.e.]0-i , [Dr. John]135-graham . [Ginevra]179-ginevra was tender ; how could [I]0-i be otherwise than chivalric ? Retaining the letter , [I]0-i recklessly altered the spirit of the role . Without heart , without interest , [I]0-i could not play it at all . It must be played - in went the yearned - for seasoning - thus favoured , [I]0-i played it with relish . What [I]0-i felt that night , and what [I]0-i did , [I]0-i no more expected to feel and do , than to be lifted in a trance to the seventh heaven . Cold , reluctant , apprehensive , [I]0-i had accepted a part to please another : ere long , warming , becoming interested , taking courage , [I]0-i acted to please [myself]0-i . Yet the next day , when [I]0-i thought it over , [I]0-i quite disapproved of these amateur performances ; and though glad that [I]0-i had obliged [M. Paul]196-m. paul , and tried [my]0-i own strength for once , [I]0-i took a firm resolution , never to be drawn into a similar affair . A keen relish for dramatic expression had revealed itself as part of [my]0-i nature ; to cherish and exercise this new - found faculty might gift [me]0-i with a world of delight , but it would not do for [a mere looker - on at life]1659-a mere looker - on at life : the strength and longing must be put by ; and [I]0-i put them by , and fastened them in with the lock of a resolution which neither Time nor Temptation has since picked . No sooner was the play over , and well over , than the choleric and [arbitrary M. Paul]196-m. paul underwent a metamorphosis . [His]1660-his hour of managerial responsibility past , [he]1660-his at once laid aside [his]1660-his magisterial austerity ; in a moment [he]1660-his stood amongst [us]1661-us , vivacious , kind , and social , shook hands with [us]1661-us all round , thanked [us]1661-us separately , and announced [his]1660-his determination that each of [us]1661-us should in turn be [[his]1660-his partner]1662-his partner in the coming ball . On [his]1660-his claiming [my]0-i promise , [I]0-i told [him]1660-his [I]0-i did not dance . " For once [I]0-i must , "[0-i] was the answer ; and if [I]0-i had not slipped aside and kept out of [his]1660-his way , [he]1660-his would have compelled [me]0-i to this second performance . But [I]0-i had acted enough for one evening ; it was time [I]0-i retired into [myself]0-i and [my]0-i ordinary life . [My]0-i dun - coloured dress did well enough under a paletot on the stage , but would not suit a waltz or a quadrille . Withdrawing to a quiet nook , whence unobserved [I]0-i could observe - the ball , its splendours and its pleasures , passed before [me]0-i as a spectacle . Again [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra was [the belle]1663-the belle , the fairest and the gayest present ; [she]179-ginevra was selected to open the ball : very lovely [she]179-ginevra looked , very gracefully [she]179-ginevra danced , very joyously [she]179-ginevra smiled . Such scenes were [her]179-ginevra triumphs - [she]179-ginevra was [the child of pleasure]1664-the child of pleasure . Work or suffering found [her]179-ginevra listless and dejected , powerless and repining ; but gaiety expanded [her]179-ginevra butterfly 's wings , lit up their gold - dust and bright spots , made [her]179-ginevra flash like a gem , and flush like a flower . At all ordinary diet and plain beverage [she]179-ginevra would pout ; but [she]179-ginevra fed on creams and ices like a humming - bird on honey - paste : sweet wine was [her]179-ginevra element , and sweet cake [her]179-ginevra daily bread . [Ginevra]179-ginevra lived [her]179-ginevra full life in [a ball - room]1665-a ball - room ; elsewhere [she]179-ginevra drooped dispirited . Think not , [reader]4604-reader , that [she]179-ginevra thus bloomed and sparkled for the mere sake of [M. Paul]196-m. paul , [[her]179-ginevra partner]1667-her partner , or that [she]179-ginevra lavished [her]179-ginevra best graces that night for the edification of [[her]179-ginevra companions]1668-her companions only , or for that of [the parents]1316-the parents and grand - parents , who filled the carre , and lined [the ball - room]1670-the ball - room ; under circumstances so insipid and limited , with motives so chilly and vapid , [Ginevra]179-ginevra would scarce have deigned to walk one quadrille , and weariness and fretfulness would have replaced animation and good - humour , but [she]179-ginevra knew of a leaven in the otherwise heavy festal mass which lighted the whole ; [she]179-ginevra tasted a condiment which gave it zest ; [she]179-ginevra perceived reasons justifying the display of [her]179-ginevra choicest attractions . In [the ball - room]1670-the ball - room , indeed , [not a single male spectator]1672-not a single male spectator was to be seen who was not married and [a father]1673-a father - M. [Paul]196-m. paul excepted - [that gentleman]5254-that gentleman , too , being the sole creature of [his]5254-that gentleman sex permitted to lead out [a pupil to the dance]1675-a pupil to the dance ; and this exceptional part was allowed [him]5254-that gentleman , partly as a matter of old - established custom for [he]5254-that gentleman was [a kinsman of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's]1676-a kinsman of madame beck 's , and high in [her]190-madame confidence , partly because [he]5254-that gentleman would always have [his]5254-that gentleman own way and do as [he]5254-that gentleman pleased , and partly because - wilful , passionate , partial , as [he]5254-that gentleman might be - [he]5254-that gentleman was the soul of honour , and might be trusted with [a regiment of the fairest and purest]1677-a regiment of the fairest and purest ; in perfect security that under [his]5254-that gentleman leadership [they]1677-a regiment of the fairest and purest would come to no harm . [Many of [the girls]4757-the girls]1678-many of the girls - it may be noted in parenthesis - were not pure - minded at all , very much otherwise ; but [they]1678-many of the girls no more dare betray [their]1678-many of the girls natural coarseness in [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's presence , than [they]1678-many of the girls dare tread purposely on [his]5254-that gentleman corns , laugh in [his]5254-that gentleman face during a stormy apostrophe , or speak above [their]1678-many of the girls breath while some crisis of irritability was covering [his]5254-that gentleman human visage with the mask of an intelligent tiger . [M. Paul]196-m. paul , then , might dance with whom [he]5254-that gentleman would - and woe be to the interference which put [him]5254-that gentleman out of step . [Others there]1680-others there were admitted as [spectators]1681-spectators - with seeming reluctance , through prayers , by influence , under restriction , by special and difficult exercise of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's gracious good - nature , and whom [she]190-madame all the evening - with [her]190-madame own personal surveillance - kept far aloof at the remotest , drearest , coldest , darkest side of [the carre]4820-the carre - [a small , forlorn band of " jeunes gens]5313-a small , forlorn band of " jeunes gens ; "[190-madame] these being [all of [the best families]1684-the best families , [grown - up sons of [mothers present]1686-mothers present , and whose sisters were pupils in [the school]4856-the school]1685-grown - up sons of mothers present , and whose sisters were pupils in the school]1683-all of the best families , grown - up sons of mothers present , and whose sisters were pupils in the school . That whole evening was [Madame]190-madame on duty beside [these " jeunes gens]5314-these " jeunes gens "[190-madame] - attentive to [them]1688-them as [a mother]4301-a mother , but strict with [them]1688-them as a dragon . There was a sort of cordon stretched before [them]1688-them , which [they]1688-them wearied [her]190-madame with prayers to be permitted to pass , and just to revive [themselves]1688-them by one dance with [that " belle blonde , "[5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune] or that " jolie brune]5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune , "[5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune] or " cette jeune fille magnifique aux cheveux noirs comme le jais . "[5315-that " belle blonde , " or that " jolie brune] " Taisez - vous ! "[190-madame] [Madame]190-madame would reply , heroically and inexorably . " Vous ne passerez pas a moins que ce ne soit sur mon cadavre , et vous ne danserez qu'avec la nonnette du jardin "[190-madame] alluding to the legend . And [she]190-madame majestically walked to and fro along [their]1688-them disconsolate and impatient line , like [a little Bonaparte]1690-a little bonaparte in a mouse - coloured silk gown . [Madame]190-madame knew something of [the world]811-the world ; [Madame]190-madame knew much of human nature . [I]0-i do n't think that [another directress in [Villette]3-villette]1692-another directress in villette would have dared to admit a " jeune homme "[1692-another directress in villette] within [her]1692-another directress in villette walls ; but [Madame]190-madame knew that by granting such admission , on an occasion like the present , a bold stroke might be struck , and a great point gained . In the first place , [the parents]1316-the parents were made [accomplices to the deed]1694-accomplices to the deed , for it was only through [their]1316-the parents mediation it was brought about . Secondly : the admission of these rattlesnakes , so fascinating and so dangerous , served to draw out [Madame]190-madame precisely in [her]190-madame strongest character - that of [a first - rate surveillante]1695-a first - rate surveillante . Thirdly : [their]1688-them presence furnished a most piquant ingredient to the entertainment : [the pupils]1102-the pupils knew it , and saw it , and the view of such golden apples shining afar off , animated [them]1102-the pupils with a spirit no other circumstance could have kindled . [The children]1111-the children 's pleasure spread to [the parents]1316-the parents ; life and mirth circulated quickly round [the ball - room]1670-the ball - room ; [the " jeunes gens]5316-the " jeunes gens "[1688-them] [themselves]1688-them , though restrained , were amused : for [Madame]190-madame never permitted [them]1688-them to feel dull - and thus [Madame Beck]190-madame 's fete annually ensured a success unknown to the fete of [any other directress in [the land]1701-the land]1700-any other directress in the land . [I]0-i observed that [Dr. John]135-graham was at first permitted to walk at large through the classes : there was about [him]135-graham a manly , responsible look , that redeemed [his]135-graham youth , and half - expiated [his]135-graham beauty ; but as soon as the ball began , [Madame]190-madame ran up to [him]135-graham . " Come , [Wolf]268-wolf ; come , "[190-madame] said [she]190-madame , laughing : " [you]268-wolf wear sheep 's clothing , but [you]268-wolf must quit the fold notwithstanding . Come ; [I]190-madame have a fine menagerie of twenty here in [the carre]4820-the carre : let [me]190-madame place [you]268-wolf amongst [my]190-madame collection . "[190-madame] " But first suffer [me]190-madame to have one dance with [one pupil of [my]190-madame choice]5318-one pupil of my choice . "[190-madame] " Have [you]268-wolf the face to ask such a thing ? It is madness : it is impiety . Sortez , sortez , au plus vite . "[190-madame] [She]190-madame drove [him]135-graham before [her]190-madame , and soon had [him]135-graham enclosed within the cordon . [Ginevra]179-ginevra being , [I]0-i suppose , tired with dancing , sought [me]0-i out in [my]0-i retreat . [She]179-ginevra threw [herself]179-ginevra on the bench beside [me]0-i , and a demonstration [I]0-i could very well have dispensed with cast [her]179-ginevra arms round [my]0-i neck . " [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy ! [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy ! "[179-ginevra] [she]179-ginevra cried in a somewhat sobbing voice , half hysterical . " What in [the world]811-the world is the matter ? "[0-i] [I]0-i drily said . " How do [I]179-ginevra look - how do [I]179-ginevra look to - night ? "[179-ginevra] [she]179-ginevra demanded . " As usual , "[0-i] said [I]0-i ; " preposterously vain . "[0-i] " [Caustic creature]5320-caustic creature ! [You]0-i never have a kind word for [me]1704-i ; but in spite of [you]0-i , and [all other envious detractors]5321-all other envious detractors , [I]1704-i know [I]1704-i am beautiful ; [I]1704-i feel it , [I]1704-i see it - for there is a great looking - glass in [the dressing - room]1634-the dressing - room , where [I]1704-i can view [my]1704-i shape from head to foot . Will [you]0-i go with [me]1704-i now , and let [us]1703-us two stand before it ? "[1704-i] " [I]0-i will , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra : [you]0-i shall be humoured even to the top of [your]0-i bent . "[0-i] [The dressing - room]1634-the dressing - room was very near , and [we]1703-us stepped in . Putting [her]1704-i arm through [mine]1705-mine , [she]1704-i drew [me]0-i to the mirror . Without resistance remonstrance , or remark , [I]0-i stood and let [her]1704-i self - love have its feast and triumph : curious to see how much it could swallow - whether it was possible it could feed to satiety - whether any whisper of consideration for [others]770-others could penetrate [her]1704-i heart , and moderate its vainglorious exultation . Not at all . [She]1704-i turned [me]0-i and [herself]1704-i round ; [she]1704-i viewed [us]1703-us both on all sides ; [she]1704-i smiled , [she]1704-i waved [her]1704-i curls , [she]1704-i retouched [her]1704-i sash , [she]1704-i spread [her]1704-i dress , and finally , letting go [my]0-i arm , and curtseying with mock respect , [she]1704-i said : " [I]1704-i would not be [you]0-i for a kingdom . "[1704-i] The remark was too naive to rouse anger ; [I]0-i merely said : " Very good . "[0-i] " And what would [you]0-i give to be [ME]1704-i ? "[1704-i] [she]1704-i inquired . " Not a bad sixpence - strange as it may sound , "[0-i] [I]0-i replied . " [You]1704-i are but [a poor creature]4858-a poor creature . "[0-i] " [You]1704-i do n't think so in [your]1704-i heart . "[1704-i] " No ; for in [my]0-i heart [you]1704-i have not the outline of a place : [I]0-i only occasionally turn [you]1704-i over in [my]0-i brain . "[0-i] " Well , but , "[1704-i] said [she]1704-i , in an expostulatory tone , " just listen to the difference of [our]5324-our positions , and then see how happy am [I]1704-i , and how miserable are [you]0-i . "[1704-i] " Go on ; [I]0-i listen . "[0-i] " In the first place : [I]1704-i am [the daughter of [a gentleman of family]5326-a gentleman of family]5325-the daughter of a gentleman of family , and though [[my]1704-i father]5327-my father is not rich , [I]1704-i have expectations from [an uncle]5328-an uncle . Then , [I]1704-i am just eighteen , the finest age possible . [I]1704-i have had a continental education , and though [I]1704-i ca n't spell , [I]1704-i have abundant accomplishments . [I]1704-i am pretty ; [you]0-i ca n't deny that ; [I]1704-i may have as many [admirers]5329-admirers as [I]1704-i choose . This very night [I]1704-i have been breaking the hearts of [two gentlemen]5330-two gentlemen , and it is the dying look [I]1704-i had from one of [them]5330-two gentlemen just now , which puts [me]1704-i in such spirits . [I]1704-i do so like to watch [them]5330-two gentlemen turn red and pale , and scowl and dart fiery glances at [each other]4318-each other , and languishing ones at [me]1704-i . There is [me]1704-i - happy [ME]1704-i ; now for [you]1707-you , [poor soul]5332-poor soul ! "[1704-i] [I]0-i suppose [you]1707-you are [[nobody]4256-nobody 's daughter]1709-nobody 's daughter , since [you]1707-you took care of [little children]1710-little children when [you]1707-you first came to [Villette]3-villette : [you]1707-you have [no relations]1711-no relations ; [you]1707-you ca n't call [yourself]1707-you young at twenty - three ; [you]1707-you have no attractive accomplishments - no beauty . As to [admirers]5329-admirers , [you]1707-you hardly know what [they]5329-admirers are ; [you]1707-you ca n't even talk on the subject : [you]1707-you sit dumb when [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers quote [their]5049-the other teachers conquests . [I]0-i believe [you]1707-you never were in love , and never will be : [you]1707-you do n't know the feeling , and so much the better , for though [you]1707-you might have [your]1707-you own heart broken , no living heart will [you]1707-you ever break . Is n't it all true ? " "[179-ginevra] A good deal of it is true as gospel , and shrewd besides . There must be good in [you]1707-you , [Ginevra]179-ginevra , to speak so honestly ; that snake , [Zelie St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , could not utter what [you]1707-you have uttered . Still , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , hapless as [I]0-i am , according to [your]1707-you showing , sixpence [I]0-i would not give to purchase [you]1707-you , body and soul . " "[0-i] Just because [I]0-i am not clever , and that is all [you]1707-you think of . Nobody in [the world]811-the world but [you]1707-you cares for cleverness . " "[1707-you] On the contrary , [I]0-i consider [you]1707-you are clever , in [your]1707-you way - very smart indeed . But [you]1707-you were talking of breaking hearts - that edifying amusement into the merits of which [I]0-i do n't quite enter ; pray on whom does [your]1707-you vanity lead [you]1707-you to think [you]1707-you have done execution to - night ? " [She]1707-you approached [her]1707-you lips to [my]190-madame ear - "[190-madame] [Isidore]190-madame and [Alfred de Hamal]230-alfred are both here ? " [she]1707-you whispered . "[1715-them] Oh ! [they]1715-them are ? [I]0-i should like to see [them]1715-them . " "[0-i] There 's [a dear creature]1716-a dear creature ! [your]1707-you curiosity is roused at last . Follow [me]0-i , [I]0-i will point [them]1715-them out . " [She]1707-you proudly led the way - "[0-i] But [you]1707-you can not see [them]1715-them well from the classes , " said [she]1707-you , turning , "[1707-you] [Madame]190-madame keeps [them]1715-them too far off . Let [us]1717-we cross [the garden]1165-the garden , enter by [the corridor]1349-the corridor , and get close to [them]1715-them behind : [we]1717-we shall be scolded if [we]1717-we are seen , but never mind . " For once , [I]0-i did not mind . Through [the garden]1165-the garden [we]1717-we went - penetrated into [the corridor]1349-the corridor by [a quiet private entrance]5335-a quiet private entrance , and approaching [the carre]4820-the carre , yet keeping in [the corridor shade]5337-the corridor shade , commanded a near view of [the band of "[0-i] jeunes gens]5338-the band of " jeunes gens . " [I]0-i believe [I]0-i could have picked out the conquering [de Hamal]230-alfred even undirected . [He]230-alfred was [a straight - nosed , very correct - featured little dandy]5339-a straight - nosed , very correct - featured little dandy . [I]0-i say [little dandy]5340-little dandy , though [he]230-alfred was not beneath the middle standard in stature ; but [his]230-alfred lineaments were small , and so were [his]230-alfred hands and feet ; and [he]230-alfred was pretty and smooth , and as trim as [a doll]5341-a doll : so nicely dressed , so nicely curled , so booted and gloved and cravated - [he]230-alfred was charming indeed . [I]0-i said so . "[0-i] What , [a dear personage]1720-a dear personage ! " cried [I]0-i , and commended [Ginevra]179-ginevra 's taste warmly ; and asked [her]179-ginevra what [she]179-ginevra thought [de Hamal]230-alfred might have done with the precious fragments of that heart [she]179-ginevra had broken - whether [he]230-alfred kept them in a scent - vial , and conserved them in otto of roses ? [I]0-i observed , too , with deep rapture of approbation , that [the colonel]5342-the colonel 's hands were scarce larger than [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's own , and suggested that this circumstance might be convenient , as [he]230-alfred could wear [her]179-ginevra gloves at a pinch . On [his]230-alfred dear curls , [I]0-i told [her]179-ginevra [I]0-i doated : and as to [his]230-alfred low , Grecian brow , and exquisite classic headpiece , [I]0-i confessed [I]0-i had no language to do such perfections justice . "[0-i] And if [he]1721-he were [[your]1722-your lover]1723-your lover ? " suggested [the cruelly exultant Ginevra]179-ginevra . "[0-i] Oh ! heavens , what bliss ! " said [I]0-i ; "[0-i] but do not be inhuman , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra : to put such thoughts into [my]0-i head is like showing [poor outcast Cain a far , glimpse of Paradise]1724-poor outcast cain a far , glimpse of paradise . " "[1722-your] [You]1722-your like [him]1721-he , then ? " "[1722-your] As [I]0-i like sweets , and jams , and comfits , and conservatory flowers . " [Ginevra]179-ginevra admired [my]0-i taste , for all these things were [her]179-ginevra adoration ; [she]179-ginevra could then readily credit that they were mine too . "[0-i] Now for [Isidore]190-madame , " [I]190-madame went on . [I]190-madame own [I]190-madame felt still more curious to see [him]230-alfred than [[his]230-alfred rival]5343-his rival ; but [Ginevra]179-ginevra was absorbed in the latter . "[190-madame] [Alfred]230-alfred was admitted [here]4212-here to - night , " said [she]179-ginevra , "[0-i] through the influence of [[his]230-alfred aunt]1726-his aunt , [Madame la Baronne de Dorlodot]269-madame la baronne de dorlodot ; and now , having seen [him]230-alfred , can [you]1727-you not understand why [I]0-i have been in such spirits all the evening , and acted so well , and danced with such life , and why [I]0-i am now happy as [a queen]1728-a queen ? [Dieu]270-dieu ! [Dieu]270-dieu ! It was such good fun to glance first at [him]230-alfred and then at the other , and madden [them]1729-them both . " "[1729-them] But that other - where is [he]230-alfred ? Show [me]0-i [Isidore]190-madame . " "[190-madame] [I]0-i do n't like . " "[0-i] Why not ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am ashamed of [him]230-alfred . " "[0-i] For what reason ? " "[0-i] Because - because " in a whisper "[230-alfred] [he]230-alfred has such - such whiskers , orange - red - there now ! " "[0-i] The murder is out , " [I]0-i subjoined . "[0-i] Never mind , show [him]230-alfred all the same ; [I]0-i engage not to faint . " [She]1732-she looked round . Just then an English voice spoke behind [her]1732-she and [me]1730-you . "[1730-you] [You]1730-you are both standing in a draught ; [you]1730-you must leave [this corridor]1731-this corridor . " "[1730-you] There is no draught , [Dr. John]135-graham , " said [I]135-graham , turning . "[135-graham] [She]1732-she takes cold so easily , " [he]135-graham pursued , looking at [Ginevra]179-ginevra with extreme kindness . "[1732-she] [She]1732-she is delicate ; [she]1732-she must be cared for : fetch [her]1732-she a shawl . " "[1732-she] Permit [me]0-i to judge for [myself]0-i , " said [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , with hauteur . "[1732-she] [I]0-i want no shawl . " "[0-i] [Your]0-i dress is thin , [you]0-i have been dancing , [you]0-i are heated . " "[0-i] Always preaching , " retorted [she]179-ginevra ; "[0-i] always coddling and admonishing . " The answer [Dr. John]135-graham would have given did not come ; that [his]135-graham heart was hurt became evident in [his]135-graham eye ; darkened , and saddened , and pained , [he]135-graham turned a little aside , but was patient . [I]1732-she knew where there were plenty of shawls near at hand ; [I]1732-she ran and fetched one . "[1732-she] [She]1732-she shall wear this , if [I]0-i have strength to make [her]1732-she , " said [I]1732-she , folding it well round [her]179-ginevra muslin dress , covering carefully [her]179-ginevra neck and [her]179-ginevra arms . "[1732-she] Is that [Isidore]190-madame ? " [I]190-madame asked , in a somewhat fierce whisper . [She]179-ginevra pushed up [her]179-ginevra lip , smiled , and nodded . "[190-madame] Is that [Isidore]190-madame ? " [I]190-madame repeated , giving [her]179-ginevra a shake : [I]190-madame could have given [her]179-ginevra a dozen . "[190-madame] C'est lui - meme , " said [she]179-ginevra . "[1733-he] How coarse [he]1733-he is , compared with [the Colonel - Count]1734-the colonel - count ! And then - oh ciel ! - the whiskers ! " [Dr. John]135-graham now passed on . "[1734-the colonel - count] [The Colonel - Count]1734-the colonel - count ! " [I]1734-the colonel - count echoed . "[1734-the colonel - count] [The doll]1736-the doll - the puppet - [the manikin]1737-the manikin - [the poor inferior creature]1738-the poor inferior creature ! [A mere lackey for [Dr. John]135-graham [[his]135-graham valet]1740-his valet , [[his]135-graham foot - boy]1741-his foot - boy]1739-a mere lackey for dr. john his valet , his foot - boy ! Is it possible [that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision - offers [you]1743-you [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision honourable hand and gallant heart , and promises to protect [[your]1743-you flimsy person]1744-your flimsy person and feckless mind through the storms and struggles of life - and [you]1743-you hang back - [you]1743-you scorn , [you]1743-you sting , [you]1743-you torture [him]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision ! Have [you]1743-you power to do this ? Who gave [you]1743-you that power ? Where is it ? Does it lie all in [your]1743-you beauty - [your]1743-you pink and white complexion , and [your]1743-you yellow hair ? Does this bind [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision soul at [your]1743-you feet , and bend [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision neck under [your]1743-you yoke ? Does this purchase for [you]1743-you [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision affection , [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision tenderness , [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision thoughts , [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision hopes , [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision interest , [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision noble , cordial love - and will [you]1743-you not have it ? Do [you]1743-you scorn it ? [You]1743-you are only dissembling : [you]1743-you are not in earnest : [you]1743-you love [him]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision ; [you]1743-you long for [him]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision ; but [you]1743-you trifle with [his]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision heart to make [him]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision more surely [yours]1745-yours ? " "[1743-you] Bah ! How [you]1743-you run on ! [I]0-i do n't understand half [you]1743-you have said . " [I]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision had got [her]1743-you out into [the garden ere this]5344-the garden ere this . [I]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision now set [her]1743-you down on a seat and told [her]1743-you [she]1743-you should not stir till [she]1743-you had avowed which [she]1743-you meant in the end to accept - [the man]4959-the man or the monkey . "[1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision] [Him]1742-that fine generous gentleman - handsome as a vision [you]1743-you call [the man]4959-the man , " said [she]1743-you , "[1743-you] is bourgeois , sandy - haired , and answers to the name of [John]135-graham ! - cela suffit : je n'en veux pas . [Colonel de Hamal]230-alfred is [a gentleman of excellent connections , perfect manners , sweet appearance , with pale interesting face , and hair and eyes like an Italian]1747-a gentleman of excellent connections , perfect manners , sweet appearance , with pale interesting face , and hair and eyes like an italian . Then too [he]230-alfred is the most delightful company possible - [a man quite in [my]0-i way]1748-a man quite in my way ; not sensible and serious like the other ; but one with whom [I]0-i can talk on equal terms - who does not plague and bore , and harass [me]0-i with depths , and heights , and passions , and talents for which [I]0-i have no taste . There now . Do n't hold [me]0-i so fast . " [I]1749-you slackened [my]1749-you grasp , and [she]1743-you darted off . [I]1749-you did not care to pursue [her]1743-you . Somehow [I]1749-you could not avoid returning once more in the direction of [the corridor]1349-the corridor to get another glimpse of [Dr. John]135-graham ; but [I]1749-you met [him]230-alfred on [the garden - steps]5347-the garden - steps , standing where the light from a window fell broad . [His]230-alfred well - proportioned figure was not to be mistaken , for [I]1749-you doubt whether there was another in that assemblage [his]230-alfred equal . [He]230-alfred carried [his]230-alfred hat in [his]230-alfred hand ; [his]230-alfred uncovered head , [his]230-alfred face and fine brow were most handsome and manly . [His]230-alfred features were not delicate , not slight like those of [a woman]4363-a woman , nor were they cold , frivolous , and feeble ; though well cut , they were not so chiselled , so frittered away , as to lose in expression or significance what [they]5349-they gained in unmeaning symmetry . Much feeling spoke in them at times , and more sat silent in [his]230-alfred eye . Such at least were [my]1749-you thoughts of [him]230-alfred : to [me]1749-you [he]230-alfred seemed all this . An inexpressible sense of wonder occupied [me]1749-you , as [I]1749-you looked at [this man]4628-this man , and reflected that [he]230-alfred could not be slighted . It was , not [my]1749-you intention to approach or address [him]230-alfred in [the garden]1165-the garden , [our]5352-our terms of acquaintance not warranting such a step ; [I]1749-you had only meant to view [him]230-alfred in [the crowd]5310-the crowd - [myself]1749-you unseen : coming upon [him]230-alfred thus alone , [I]1749-you withdrew . But [he]230-alfred was looking out for [me]1749-you , or rather for [her]179-ginevra who had been with [me]1749-you : therefore [he]230-alfred descended the steps , and followed [me]1749-you down [the alley]5354-the alley . "[1749-you] [You]1749-you know [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra ? [I]0-i have often wished to ask whether [you]1749-you knew [her]179-ginevra , " said [he]230-alfred . "[0-i] Yes : [I]0-i know [her]179-ginevra . " "[179-ginevra] Intimately ? " "[179-ginevra] Quite as intimately as [I]0-i wish . " "[0-i] What have [you]1749-you done with [her]179-ginevra now ? " "[1749-you] Am [I]0-i [[her]179-ginevra keeper]1750-her keeper ? " [I]0-i felt inclined to ask ; but [I]0-i simply answered , "[0-i] [I]0-i have shaken [her]179-ginevra well , and would have shaken [her]179-ginevra better , but [she]179-ginevra escaped out of [my]0-i hands and ran away . " "[179-ginevra] Would [you]1749-you favour [me]0-i , " [he]0-i asked , "[1749-you] by watching over [her]179-ginevra this one evening , and observing that [she]179-ginevra does nothing imprudent - does not , for instance , run out into the night - air immediately after dancing ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i may , perhaps , look after [her]179-ginevra a little ; since [you]1749-you wish it ; but [she]179-ginevra likes [her]179-ginevra own way too well to submit readily to control . " "[179-ginevra] [She]179-ginevra is so young , so thoroughly artless , " said [he]0-i . "[179-ginevra] To [me]0-i [she]179-ginevra is [an enigma]1751-an enigma , " [I]179-ginevra responded . "[179-ginevra] Is [she]179-ginevra ? " [he]0-i asked - much interested . "[179-ginevra] How ? " "[179-ginevra] It would be difficult to say how - difficult , at least , to tell [you]1749-you how . " "[179-ginevra] And why [me]0-i ? " "[179-ginevra] [I]0-i wonder [she]179-ginevra is not better pleased that [you]0-i are so much [[her]179-ginevra friend]4927-her friend . " "[179-ginevra] But [she]179-ginevra has not the slightest idea how much [I]0-i am [[her]179-ginevra friend]4927-her friend . That is precisely the point [I]0-i can not teach [her]179-ginevra . May [I]0-i inquire did [she]179-ginevra ever speak of [me]0-i to [you]1749-you ? " "[179-ginevra] Under the name of ' [Isidore]190-madame ' [she]179-ginevra has talked about [you]1749-you often ; but [I]0-i must add that it is only within the last ten minutes [I]0-i have discovered that [you]1749-you and ' [Isidore]190-madame ' are identical . It is only , [Dr. John]135-graham , within that brief space of time [I]0-i have learned that [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra is [the person , under this roof]1754-the person , under this roof , in whom [you]1749-you have long been interested - that [she]179-ginevra is the magnet which attracts [you]1749-you to [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette , that for [her]179-ginevra sake [you]1749-you venture into [this garden]4983-this garden , and seek out caskets dropped by [rivals]1562-rivals . " "[1749-you] [You]1749-you know all ? " "[1749-you] [I]0-i know so much . " "[1749-you] For more than a year [I]0-i have been accustomed to meet [her]179-ginevra in society . [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley , [[her]223-mrs. cholmondeley friend]4927-her friend , is [an acquaintance of [mine]0-i]1758-an acquaintance of mine ; thus [I]0-i see [her]179-ginevra every Sunday . But [you]1749-you observed that under the name of ' [Isidore]190-madame ' [she]179-ginevra often spoke of [me]0-i : may [I]0-i - without inviting [you]1749-you to a breach of confidence - inquire what was the tone , what the feeling of [her]179-ginevra remarks ? [I]0-i feel somewhat anxious to know , being a little tormented with uncertainty as to how [I]0-i stand with [her]179-ginevra . " "[179-ginevra] Oh , [she]179-ginevra varies : [she]179-ginevra shifts and changes like the wind . " "[179-ginevra] Still , [you]0-i can gather some general idea - ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i can , " thought [I]0-i , "[0-i] but it would not do to communicate that general idea to [you]1749-you . Besides , if [I]0-i said [she]179-ginevra did not love [you]1749-you , [I]0-i know [you]1749-you would not believe [me]0-i . " "[1749-you] [You]0-i are silent , " [he]1749-you pursued . "[0-i] [I]0-i suppose [you]0-i have no good news to impart . No matter . If [she]179-ginevra feels for [me]0-i positive coldness and aversion , it is a sign [I]0-i do not deserve [her]179-ginevra . " "[179-ginevra] Do [you]0-i doubt [yourself]0-i ? Do [you]0-i consider [yourself]0-i [the inferior of [Colonel de Hamal]230-alfred]1759-the inferior of colonel de hamal ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i love [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra far more than [de Hamal]230-alfred loves [any human being]1760-any human being , and would care for and guard [her]179-ginevra better than [he]230-alfred . Respecting [de Hamal]230-alfred , [I]0-i fear [she]179-ginevra is under an illusion ; [the man]4959-the man 's character is known to [me]0-i , all [his]4959-the man antecedents , all [his]4959-the man scrapes . [He]4959-the man is not worthy of [[your]0-i beautiful young friend]1762-your beautiful young friend . " "[4959-the man] [[My]0-i ' beautiful young friend]1763-my ' beautiful young friend ' ought to know that , and to know or feel who is worthy of [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend , " said [I.]0-i "[1763-my ' beautiful young friend] If [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend beauty or [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend brains will not serve [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend so far , [she]1763-my ' beautiful young friend merits the sharp lesson of experience . " "[0-i] Are [you]0-i not a little severe ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am excessively severe - more severe than [I]0-i choose to show [you]0-i . [You]0-i should hear the strictures with which [I]0-i favour [[my]0-i ' beautiful young friend]1763-my ' beautiful young friend , ' only that [you]0-i would be unutterably shocked at [my]0-i want of tender considerateness for [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend delicate nature . " "[0-i] [She]1763-my ' beautiful young friend is so lovely , [one]607-one can not but be loving towards [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend . [You]0-i - [every woman older than [herself]1766-every woman older than herself]1766-every woman older than herself , must feel for such [a simple , innocent , girlish fairy a sort of motherly or elder - sisterly fondness]1767-a simple , innocent , girlish fairy a sort of motherly or elder - sisterly fondness . [Graceful angel]1768-graceful angel ! Does not [your]0-i heart yearn towards [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend when [she]1763-my ' beautiful young friend pours into [your]0-i ear [her]1763-my ' beautiful young friend pure , childlike confidences ? How [you]0-i are privileged ! " And [he]135-graham sighed . "[0-i] [I]0-i cut short these confidences somewhat abruptly now and then , " said [I.]0-i "[0-i] But excuse [me]0-i , [Dr. John]135-graham , may [I]0-i change the theme for one instant ? What [a god - like person]1769-a god - like person is that [de Hamal]230-alfred ! What a nose on [his]230-alfred face - perfect ! Model one in putty or clay , [you]0-i could not make a better or straighter , or neater ; and then , such classic lips and chin - and [his]230-alfred bearing - sublime . " "[271-de hamal] [De Hamal]271-de hamal is [an unutterable puppy]1770-an unutterable puppy , besides being [a very white - livered hero]1771-a very white - livered hero . " "[135-graham] [You]135-graham , [Dr. John]135-graham , and [every man of a less - refined mould than [he]230-alfred]1772-every man of a less - refined mould than he , must feel for [him]230-alfred a sort of admiring affection , such as [Mars]272-mars and [the coarser deities]1773-the coarser deities may be supposed to have borne [the young , graceful Apollo]1774-the young , graceful apollo . " "[1774-the young , graceful apollo] [An unprincipled , gambling little jackanapes]1775-an unprincipled , gambling little jackanapes ! " said [Dr. John]135-graham curtly , "[1774-the young , graceful apollo] whom , with one hand , [I]0-i could lift up by the waistband any day , and lay low in the kennel if [I]0-i liked . " "[1776-the sweet seraph] [The sweet seraph]1776-the sweet seraph ! " said [I.]135-graham "[1776-the sweet seraph] What a cruel idea ! Are [you]135-graham not a little severe , [Dr. John]135-graham ? " And now [I]135-graham paused . For the second time that night [I]135-graham was going beyond [myself]135-graham - venturing out of what [I]135-graham looked on as [my]135-graham natural habits - speaking in an unpremeditated , impulsive strain , which startled [me]135-graham strangely when [I]135-graham halted to reflect . On rising that morning , had [I]135-graham anticipated that before night [I]135-graham should have acted the part of [a gay lover]5355-a gay lover in a vaudeville ; and an hour after , frankly discussed with [Dr. John]135-graham the question of [his]135-graham hapless suit , and rallied [him]135-graham on [his]135-graham illusions ? [I]135-graham had no more presaged such feats than [I]135-graham had looked forward to an ascent in a balloon , or a voyage to [Cape Horn]58-cape horn . [The Doctor]4288-the doctor and [I]135-graham , having paced down the walk , were now returning ; the reflex from the window again lit [his]135-graham face : [he]135-graham smiled , but [his]135-graham eye was melancholy . How [I]135-graham wished that [he]135-graham could feel heart's - ease ! How [I]135-graham grieved that [he]135-graham brooded over pain , and pain from such a cause ! [He]135-graham , with [his]135-graham great advantages , [he]135-graham to love in vain ! [I]135-graham did not then know that the pensiveness of reverse is the best phase for some minds ; nor did [I]135-graham reflect that some herbs , "[135-graham] though scentless when entire , yield fragrance when they 're bruised . " "[135-graham] Do not be sorrowful , do not grieve , " [I]135-graham broke out . "[135-graham] If there is in [Ginevra]271-de hamal one spark of worthiness of [your]1777-your affection , [she]271-de hamal will - [she]271-de hamal must feel devotion in return . Be cheerful , be hopeful , [Dr. John]135-graham . Who should hope , if not [you]1777-your ? " In return for this speech [I]135-graham got - what , it must be supposed , [I]135-graham deserved - a look of surprise : [I]135-graham thought also of some disapprobation . [We]5357-we parted , and [I]135-graham went into [the house]518-the house very chill . The clocks struck and the bells tolled midnight ; [people]531-people were leaving fast : the fete was over ; the lamps were fading . In another hour all [the dwelling - house]4822-the dwelling - house , and [all the pensionnat]5361-all the pensionnat , were dark and hushed . [I]135-graham too was in bed , but not asleep . To [me]135-graham it was not easy to sleep after a day of such excitement . CHAPTER XV . THE LONG VACATION . Following [Madame Beck]190-madame 's fete , with its three preceding weeks of relaxation , its brief twelve hours ' burst of hilarity and dissipation , and its one subsequent day of utter languor , came a period of reaction ; two months of real application , of close , hard study . These two months , being the last of the "[135-graham] annee scolaire , " were indeed the only genuine working months in the year . To [them]531-people was procrastinated - into [them]531-people concentrated , alike by [professors]5362-professors , [mistresses]5363-mistresses , and [pupils]4924-pupils - the main burden of preparation for the examinations preceding the distribution of prizes . [Candidates for rewards]5365-candidates for rewards had then to work in good earnest ; [masters]1086-masters and [teachers]1087-teachers had to set [their]531-people shoulders to the wheel , to urge on the backward , and diligently aid and train [the more promising]5368-the more promising . A showy demonstration - a telling exhibition - must be got up for public view , and all means were fair to this end . [I]135-graham scarcely noted how [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers went to work ; [I]135-graham had [my]135-graham own business to mind ; and [my]135-graham task was not the least onerous , being to imbue some ninety sets of brains with a due tincture of what [they]531-people considered a most complicated and difficult science , that of the English language ; and to drill ninety tongues in what , for [them]531-people , was an almost impossible pronunciation - the lisping and hissing dentals of [the Isles]273-the isles . The examination - day arrived . Awful day ! Prepared for with anxious care , dressed for with silent despatch - nothing vaporous or fluttering now - no white gauze or azure streamers ; the grave , close , compact was the order of the toilette . It seemed to [me]135-graham that [I]135-graham was this day , especially doomed - the main burden and trial falling on [me]135-graham alone of all [the female teachers]5370-the female teachers . [The others]5058-the others were not expected to examine in the studies [they]5058-the others taught ; [the professor of literature]5372-the professor of literature , [M. Paul]196-m. paul , taking upon [himself]196-m. paul this duty . [He]196-m. paul , [this school autocrat]5373-this school autocrat , gathered all and sundry reins into the hollow of [his]196-m. paul one hand ; [he]196-m. paul irefully rejected [any colleague]5374-any colleague ; [he]196-m. paul would not have help . [Madame]190-madame [herself]190-madame , who evidently rather wished to undertake the examination in geography - [her]190-madame favourite study , which [she]190-madame taught well - was forced to succumb , and be subordinate to [[her]190-madame despotic kinsman]5375-her despotic kinsman 's direction . [The whole staff of [instructors]5377-instructors]5376-the whole staff of instructors , male and female , [he]196-m. paul set aside , and stood on [the examiner]5378-the examiner 's estrade alone . It irked [him]196-m. paul that [he]196-m. paul was forced to make one exception to this rule . [He]196-m. paul could not manage English : [he]196-m. paul was obliged to leave that branch of education in [the English teacher]1435-the english teacher 's hands ; which [he]196-m. paul did , not without a flash of naive jealousy . A constant crusade against the "[135-graham] amour - propre " of [every human being]5380-every human being but [himself]196-m. paul , was the crotchet of [this able , but fiery and grasping little man]5381-this able , but fiery and grasping little man . [He]196-m. paul had a strong relish for public representation in [[his]196-m. paul own person]5382-his own person , but an extreme abhorrence of the like display in any other . [He]196-m. paul quelled , [he]196-m. paul kept down when [he]196-m. paul could ; and when [he]196-m. paul could not , [he]196-m. paul fumed like a bottled storm . On the evening preceding the examination - day , [I]135-graham was walking in [the garden]1165-the garden , as were [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers and [all the boarders]5385-all the boarders . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul joined [me]135-graham in the "[135-graham] allee defendue ; " [his]196-m. paul cigar was at [his]196-m. paul lips ; [his]196-m. paul paletot - a most characteristic garment of no particular shape - hung dark and menacing ; the tassel of [his]196-m. paul bonnet grec sternly shadowed [his]196-m. paul left temple ; [his]196-m. paul black whiskers curled like those of a wrathful cat ; [his]196-m. paul blue eye had a cloud in its glitter . "[135-graham] [Ainsi]274-ainsi , " [he]196-m. paul began , abruptly fronting and arresting [me]274-ainsi , "[274-ainsi] vous allez troner comme une reine ; demain - troner a mes cotes ? Sans doute vous savourez d'avance les delices de l'autorite . Je crois voir en je ne sais quoi de rayonnante , petite ambitieuse ! " Now the fact was , [he]196-m. paul happened to be entirely mistaken . [I]135-graham did not - could not - estimate the admiration or the good opinion of [[tomorrow]5386-tomorrow 's audience]5387-tomorrow 's audience at the same rate [he]196-m. paul did . Had [that audience]5388-that audience numbered as many [personal friends]5389-personal friends and acquaintance for [me]135-graham as for [him]196-m. paul , [I]135-graham know not how it might have been : [I]135-graham speak of the case as it stood . On [me]135-graham school- triumphs shed but a cold lustre . [I]135-graham had wondered - and [I]135-graham wondered now - how it was that for [him]196-m. paul they seemed to shine as with hearth - warmth and hearth - glow . [He]196-m. paul cared for [them]5387-tomorrow 's audience perhaps too much ; [I]135-graham , probably , too little . However , [I]135-graham had [my]135-graham own fancies as well as [he]196-m. paul . [I]135-graham liked , for instance , to see [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul jealous ; it lit up [his]196-m. paul nature , and woke [his]196-m. paul spirit ; it threw all sorts of queer lights and shadows over [his]196-m. paul dun face , and into [his]196-m. paul violet - azure eyes [he]196-m. paul used to say that [his]196-m. paul black hair and blue eyes were "[135-graham] une de ses beautes " . There was a relish in [his]196-m. paul anger ; it was artless , earnest , quite unreasonable , but never hypocritical . [I]0-i uttered no disclaimer then of the complacency [he]196-m. paul attributed to [me]0-i ; [I]0-i merely asked where the English examination came in - whether at the commencement or close of the day ? "[0-i] [I]0-i hesitate , " said [he]196-m. paul , "[274-ainsi] whether at the very beginning , before [many persons]1778-many persons are come , and when [your]1779-your aspiring nature will not be gratified by [a large audience]1780-a large audience , or quite at the close , when [everybody]4957-everybody is tired , and only a jaded and worn - out attention will be at [your]1779-your service . " "[1782-monsieur] Que vous etes dur , [Monsieur]1782-monsieur ! " [I]607-one said , affecting dejection . "[607-one] [One]607-one ought to be ' dur ' with [you]1782-monsieur . [You]1782-monsieur are one of [those beings who must be kept down]1784-those beings who must be kept down . [I]0-i know [you]1782-monsieur ! [I]0-i know [you]1782-monsieur ! [Other people in [this house]5145-this house]1785-other people in this house see [you]1782-monsieur pass , and think that a colourless shadow has gone by . As for [me]0-i , [I]0-i scrutinized [your]1782-monsieur face once , and it sufficed . " "[0-i] [You]1782-monsieur are satisfied that [you]1782-monsieur understand [me]0-i ? " Without answering directly , [he]0-i went on , "[1782-monsieur] Were [you]1782-monsieur not gratified when [you]1782-monsieur succeeded in that vaudeville ? [I]0-i watched [you]1782-monsieur and saw a passionate ardour for triumph in [your]1782-monsieur physiognomy . What fire shot into the glance ! Not mere light , but flame : je [me]0-i tiens pour averti . " "[0-i] What feeling [I]0-i had on that occasion , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur - and pardon [me]0-i , if [I]0-i say , [you]1465-monsieur immensely exaggerate both its quality and quantity - was quite abstract . [I]0-i did not care for the vaudeville . [I]0-i hated the part [you]1465-monsieur assigned [me]0-i . [I]0-i had not the slightest sympathy with [the audience]1788-the audience below the stage . [They]1788-the audience are [good people]1789-good people , doubtless , but do [I]0-i know [them]1788-the audience ? Are [they]1788-the audience anything to [me]0-i ? Can [I]0-i care for being brought before [their]1788-the audience view again to - morrow ? Will the examination be anything but a task to [me]0-i - a task [I]0-i wish well over ? " "[0-i] Shall [I]0-i take it out of [your]1465-monsieur hands ? " "[0-i] With all [my]0-i heart ; if [you]1465-monsieur do not fear failure . " "[0-i] But [I]0-i should fail . [I]0-i only know three phrases of English , and a few words : par exemple , de sonn , de mone , de stares - est - ce bien dit ? [My]0-i opinion is that it would be better to give up the thing altogether : to have no English examination , eh ? " "[190-madame] If [Madame]190-madame consents , [I]0-i consent . " "[190-madame] Heartily ? " "[190-madame] Very heartily . " [He]0-i smoked [his]0-i cigar in silence . [He]0-i turned suddenly . "[190-madame] Donnez - moi la main , " said [he]0-i , and the spite and jealousy melted out of [his]0-i face , and a generous kindliness shone there instead . "[190-madame] Come , [we]1790-we will not be [rivals]1562-rivals , [we]1790-we will be [friends]533-friends , " [he]0-i pursued . "[533-friends] The examination shall take place , and [I]0-i will choose a good moment ; and instead of vexing and hindering , as [I]0-i felt half - inclined ten minutes ago - for [I]0-i have [my]0-i malevolent moods : [I]0-i always had from childhood - [I]0-i will aid [you]1793-you sincerely . After all , [you]1793-you are solitary and [a stranger]874-a stranger , and have [your]1793-you way to make and [your]1793-you bread to earn ; it may be well that [you]1793-you should become known . [We]1790-we will be [friends]533-friends : do [you]0-i agree ? " "[0-i] Out of [my]0-i heart , [Monsieur]1796-monsieur . [I]0-i am glad of [a friend]1797-a friend . [I]0-i like that better than a triumph . " "[0-i] Pauvrette ? " said [he]1796-monsieur , and turned away and left [the alley]5354-the alley . The examination passed over well ; [M. Paul]196-m. paul was as good as [his]196-m. paul word , and did [his]196-m. paul best to make [my]0-i part easy . The next day came the distribution of prizes ; that also passed ; [the school]4856-the school broke up ; [the pupils]1102-the pupils went [home]542-home , and now began the long vacation . That vacation ! Shall [I]0-i ever forget it ? [I]0-i think not . [Madame Beck]190-madame went , the first day of the holidays , to join [[her]190-madame children]5002-her children at [the sea - side]5395-the sea - side ; [all the three teachers]5396-all the three teachers had [parents]1307-parents or friends with whom [they]5396-all the three teachers took refuge ; [every professor]5398-every professor quitted [the city]4429-the city ; [some]5400-some went to [Paris]59-paris , [some]5400-some to [Boue - Marine]33-boue - marine ; [M. Paul]196-m. paul set forth on a pilgrimage to [Rome]54-rome ; [the house]518-the house was left quite empty , but for [me]0-i , [a servant]564-a servant , and [a poor deformed and imbecile pupil]5404-a poor deformed and imbecile pupil , [a sort of cretin , whom [[her]5404-a poor deformed and imbecile pupil stepmother]5406-her stepmother in [a distant province]5407-a distant province would not allow to return [home]542-home]5405-a sort of cretin , whom her stepmother in a distant province would not allow to return home . [My]0-i heart almost died within [me]0-i ; miserable longings strained its chords . How long were the September days ! How silent , how lifeless ! How vast and void seemed [the desolate premises]5409-the desolate premises ! How gloomy [the forsaken garden]5410-the forsaken garden - grey now with the dust of [a town]5411-a town summer departed . Looking forward at the commencement of those eight weeks , [I]0-i hardly knew how [I]0-i was to live to the end . [My]0-i spirits had long been gradually sinking ; now that the prop of employment was withdrawn , [they]5412-they went down fast . Even to look forward was not to hope : the dumb future spoke no comfort , offered no promise , gave no inducement to bear present evil in reliance on future good . A sorrowful indifference to existence often pressed on [me]0-i - a despairing resignation to reach betimes the end of all things earthly . Alas ! When [I]0-i had full leisure to look on life as life must be looked on by such as [me]0-i , [I]0-i found it but [a hopeless desert]5413-a hopeless desert : tawny sands , with [no green fields]5414-no green fields , no palm - tree , no well in view . The hopes which are dear to youth , which bear it up and lead it on , [I]0-i knew not and dared not know . If [they]5412-they knocked at [my]0-i heart sometimes , an inhospitable bar to admission must be inwardly drawn . When [they]5412-they turned away thus rejected , tears sad enough sometimes flowed : but it could not be helped : [I]0-i dared not give [such guests lodging]5415-such guests lodging . So mortally did [I]0-i fear the sin and weakness of presumption . [Religious reader]5416-religious reader , [you]5416-religious reader will preach to [me]0-i a long sermon about what [I]0-i have just written , and so will [you]5416-religious reader , [moralist]5417-moralist : and [you]5416-religious reader , [stern sage]5418-stern sage : [you]5416-religious reader , stoic , will frown ; [you]5416-religious reader , [cynic]5419-cynic , sneer ; [you]5416-religious reader , epicure , laugh . Well , each and all , take it [your]5416-religious reader own way . [I]0-i accept the sermon , frown , sneer , and laugh ; perhaps [you]5416-religious reader are all right : and perhaps , circumstanced like [me]0-i , [you]5416-religious reader would have been , like [me]0-i , wrong . The first month was , indeed , a long , black , heavy month to [me]0-i . [The cretin]5420-the cretin did not seem unhappy . [I]0-i did [my]0-i best to feed [her]5420-the cretin well and keep [her]5420-the cretin warm , and [she]5420-the cretin only asked food and sunshine , or when that lacked , fire . [Her]5420-the cretin weak faculties approved of inertion : [her]5420-the cretin brain , [her]5420-the cretin eyes , [her]5420-the cretin ears , [her]5420-the cretin heart slept content ; [they]5420-the cretin could not wake to work , so lethargy was [their]5420-the cretin Paradise . Three weeks of that vacation were hot , fair , and dry , but the fourth and fifth were tempestuous and wet . [I]0-i do not know why that change in the atmosphere made a cruel impression on [me]0-i , why the raging storm and beating rain crushed [me]0-i with a deadlier paralysis than [I]0-i had experienced while the air had remained serene ; but so it was ; and [my]0-i nervous system could hardly support what it had for many days and nights to undergo in [that huge empty house]5421-that huge empty house . How [I]0-i used to pray to [Heaven]1614-heaven for consolation and support ! With what dread force the conviction would grasp [me]0-i that [Fate]159-fate was [[my]0-i permanent foe]5423-my permanent foe , never to be conciliated . [I]0-i did not , in [my]0-i heart , arraign the mercy or justice of [God]164-god for this ; [I]0-i concluded it to be a part of [his]164-god great plan that [some]5400-some must deeply suffer while [they]5400-some live , and [I]0-i thrilled in the certainty that of this number , [I]0-i was one . It was some relief when [an aunt of [the cretin]5420-the cretin]5425-an aunt of the cretin , [a kind old woman]5427-a kind old woman , came one day , and took away [[my]0-i strange , deformed companion]5428-my strange , deformed companion . [The hapless creature]5429-the hapless creature had been at times a heavy charge ; [I]0-i could not take [her]5429-the hapless creature out beyond [the garden]1165-the garden , and [I]0-i could not leave [her]5429-the hapless creature a minute alone : for [her]5429-the hapless creature poor mind , like [her]5429-the hapless creature body , was warped : its propensity was to evil . A vague bent to mischief , an aimless malevolence , made constant vigilance indispensable . As [she]5429-the hapless creature very rarely spoke , and would sit for hours together moping and mowing , and distorting [her]5429-the hapless creature features with indescribable grimaces , it was more like being prisoned with some strange tameless animal , than associating with [a human being]5431-a human being . Then there were personal attentions to be rendered which required the nerve of [a hospital nurse]5432-a hospital nurse ; [my]0-i resolution was so tried , it sometimes fell dead - sick . These duties should not have fallen on [me]0-i ; [a servant , now absent]5433-a servant , now absent , had rendered them hitherto , and in the hurry of holiday departure , no substitute to fill [this office]5434-this office had been provided . This tax and trial were by no means the least [I]0-i have known in life . Still , menial and distasteful as they were , [my]0-i mental pain was far more wasting and wearing . Attendance on the cretin deprived [me]0-i often of the power and inclination to swallow a meal , and sent [me]0-i faint to the fresh air , and the well or fountain in [the court]1612-the court ; but this duty never wrung [my]0-i heart , or brimmed [my]0-i eyes , or scalded [my]0-i cheek with tears hot as molten metal . [The cretin]5420-the cretin being gone , [I]0-i was free to walk out . At first [I]0-i lacked courage to venture very far from [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette , but by degrees [I]0-i sought the city gates , and passed them , and then went wandering away far along chaussees , through [fields]802-fields , beyond [cemeteries]5438-cemeteries , [Catholic and Protestant]60-catholic and protestant , beyond [farmsteads]5439-farmsteads , to [lanes]5440-lanes and [little woods]5441-little woods , and [I]0-i know not where . [A goad]5442-a goad thrust [me]0-i on , a fever forbade [me]0-i to rest ; a want of companionship maintained in [my]0-i soul the cravings of a most deadly famine . [I]0-i often walked all day , through the burning noon and the arid afternoon , and the dusk evening , and came back with moonrise . While wandering in solitude , [I]0-i would sometimes picture the present probable position of [others]770-others , [my]0-i acquaintance . There was [Madame Beck]190-madame at [a cheerful watering - place with [[her]190-madame children]5002-her children , [[her]190-madame mother]550-her mother]5444-a cheerful watering - place with her children , her mother , and [a whole troop of [friends who had sought the same scene of relaxation]5448-friends who had sought the same scene of relaxation]5447-a whole troop of friends who had sought the same scene of relaxation . [Zelie St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle was at [Paris]59-paris , with [[her]261-mademoiselle relatives]5449-her relatives ; [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers were at [[their]5049-the other teachers homes]5451-their homes . There was [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , whom certain of [her]179-ginevra connections had carried on a pleasant tour southward . [Ginevra]179-ginevra seemed to [me]0-i the happiest . [She]179-ginevra was on the route of beautiful scenery ; these September suns shone for [her]179-ginevra on [fertile plains]5452-fertile plains , where harvest and vintage matured under their mellow beam . These gold and crystal moons rose on [her]179-ginevra vision over blue horizons waved in mounted lines . But all this was nothing ; [I]0-i too felt those autumn suns and saw those harvest moons , and [I]0-i almost wished to be covered in with earth and turf , deep out of [their]5049-the other teachers influence ; for [I]0-i could not live in [their]5049-the other teachers light , nor make [them]5049-the other teachers comrades , nor yield [them]5049-the other teachers affection . But [Ginevra]179-ginevra had a kind of spirit with [her]179-ginevra , empowered to give constant strength and comfort , to gladden daylight and embalm darkness ; the best of [the good genii that guard humanity]5453-the good genii that guard humanity curtained [her]179-ginevra with [his]5453-the good genii that guard humanity wings , and canopied [her]179-ginevra head with [his]5453-the good genii that guard humanity bending form . By True Love was [Ginevra]179-ginevra followed : never could [she]179-ginevra be alone . Was [she]179-ginevra insensible to this presence ? It seemed to [me]0-i impossible : [I]0-i could not realize such deadness . [I]0-i imagined [her]179-ginevra grateful in secret , loving now with reserve ; but purposing one day to show how much [she]179-ginevra loved : [I]0-i pictured [[her]179-ginevra faithful hero]5454-her faithful hero half conscious of [her]179-ginevra coy fondness , and comforted by that consciousness : [I]0-i conceived an electric chord of sympathy between [them]5455-them , a fine chain of mutual understanding , sustaining union through a separation of a hundred leagues - carrying , across mound and hollow , communication by prayer and wish . [Ginevra]179-ginevra gradually became with [me]0-i [a sort of heroine]5456-a sort of heroine . One day , perceiving this growing illusion , [I]0-i said , "[0-i] [I]0-i really believe [my]0-i nerves are getting overstretched : [my]0-i mind has suffered somewhat too much a malady is growing upon it - what shall [I]0-i do ? How shall [I]0-i keep well ? " Indeed there was no way to keep well under the circumstances . At last a day and night of peculiarly agonizing depression were succeeded by physical illness , [I]0-i took perforce to [my]0-i bed . About this time the Indian summer closed and the equinoctial storms began ; and for nine dark and wet days , of which the hours rushed on all turbulent , deaf , dishevelled - bewildered with sounding hurricane - [I]0-i lay in a strange fever of the nerves and blood . Sleep went quite away . [I]0-i used to rise in the night , look round for [her]179-ginevra , beseech [her]179-ginevra earnestly to return . A rattle of the window , a cry of the blast only replied - -Sleep never came ! [I]0-i err . [She]179-ginevra came once , but in anger . Impatient of [my]0-i importunity [she]179-ginevra brought with [her]179-ginevra an avenging dream . By the clock of [St. Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste , that dream remained scarce fifteen minutes - a brief space , but sufficing to wring [my]0-i whole frame with unknown anguish ; to confer a nameless experience that had the hue , the mien , the terror , the very tone of a visitation from eternity . Between twelve and one that night a cup was forced to [my]0-i lips , black , strong , strange , drawn from no well , but filled up seething from [a bottomless and boundless sea]5457-a bottomless and boundless sea . Suffering , brewed in temporal or calculable measure , and mixed for mortal lips , tastes not as this suffering tasted . Having drank and woke , [I]0-i thought all was over : the end come and past by . Trembling fearfully - as consciousness returned - ready to cry out on [some fellow- creature]5458-some fellow- creature to help [me]0-i , only that [I]0-i knew [no fellow - creature]5459-no fellow - creature was near enough to catch the wild summons - [Goton]276-goton in [[her]276-goton far distant attic]5460-her far distant attic could not hear - [I]0-i rose on [my]0-i knees in bed . Some fearful hours went over [me]0-i : indescribably was [I]0-i torn , racked and oppressed in mind . Amidst the horrors of that dream [I]0-i think the worst lay here . [Methought the well- loved dead , who had loved [me]0-i well in life]5461-methought the well- loved dead , who had loved me well in life , met [me]0-i elsewhere , alienated : galled was [my]0-i inmost spirit with an unutterable sense of despair about the future . Motive there was none why [I]0-i should try to recover or wish to live ; and yet quite unendurable was the pitiless and haughty voice in which [Death]277-death challenged [me]0-i to engage [his]277-death unknown terrors . When [I]0-i tried to pray [I]0-i could only utter these words : "[0-i] From [my]0-i youth up [Thy]1798-thy terrors have [I]0-i suffered with a troubled mind . " Most true was it . On bringing [me]0-i [my]0-i tea next morning [Goton]276-goton urged [me]0-i to call in [a doctor]5462-a doctor . [I]0-i would not : [I]0-i thought [no doctor]5463-no doctor could cure [me]0-i . One evening - and [I]0-i was not delirious : [I]0-i was in [my]0-i sane mind , [I]0-i got up - [I]0-i dressed [myself]0-i , weak and shaking . The solitude and the stillness of [the long dormitory]5138-the long dormitory could not be borne any longer ; the ghastly white beds were turning into spectres - the coronal of each became a death's- head , huge and sun - bleached - dead dreams of an elder world and [mightier race]5465-mightier race lay frozen in their wide gaping eyeholes . That evening more firmly than ever fastened into [my]0-i soul the conviction that Fate was of stone , and Hope a false idol - blind , bloodless , and of granite core . [I]0-i felt , too , that the trial [God]164-god had appointed [me]0-i was gaining its climax , and must now be turned by [my]0-i own hands , hot , feeble , trembling as they were . It rained still , and blew ; but with more clemency , [I]0-i thought , than it had poured and raged all day . Twilight was falling , and [I]0-i deemed its influence pitiful ; from the lattice [I]0-i saw coming night - clouds trailing low like banners drooping . It seemed to [me]0-i that at this hour there was affection and sorrow in [Heaven]188-heaven above for all pain suffered on [earth beneath]5466-earth beneath ; the weight of [my]0-i dreadful dream became alleviated - that insufferable thought of being [no more loved]5467-no more loved - no more owned , half - yielded to hope of the contrary - [I]0-i was sure this hope would shine clearer if [I]0-i got out from under [this house]5145-this house - roof , which was crushing as the slab of [a tomb]5469-a tomb , and went outside [the city]4429-the city to [a certain quiet hill]5471-a certain quiet hill , a long way distant in [the fields]5472-the fields . Covered with a cloak [I]0-i could not be delirious , for [I]0-i had sense and recollection to put on warm clothing , forth [I]0-i set . The bells of [a church]5473-a church arrested [me]0-i in passing ; [they]5474-they seemed to call [me]0-i in to the salut , and [I]0-i went in . Any solemn rite , any spectacle of sincere worship , any opening for appeal to [God]164-god was as welcome to [me]0-i then as bread to one in extremity of want . [I]0-i knelt down with [others]770-others on [the stone pavement]5476-the stone pavement . It was [an old solemn church]5477-an old solemn church , [its]5477-an old solemn church pervading gloom not gilded but purpled by light shed through stained glass . [Few worshippers]5478-few worshippers were assembled , and , the salut over , [half of [them]5478-few worshippers]5479-half of them departed . [I]0-i discovered soon that [those left remained to confess]5480-those left remained to confess . [I]0-i did not stir . Carefully every door of [the church]5217-the church was shut ; a holy quiet sank upon , and a solemn shade gathered about [us]5482-us . After a space , breathless and spent in prayer , [a penitent]5483-a penitent approached the confessional . [I]0-i watched . [She]5483-a penitent whispered [her]5483-a penitent avowal ; [her]5483-a penitent shrift was whispered back ; [she]5483-a penitent returned consoled . [Another]5484-another went , and another . [A pale lady]5485-a pale lady , kneeling near [me]0-i , said in a low , kind voice : - "[0-i] Go [you]1799-i now , [I]0-i am not quite prepared . " Mechanically obedient , [I]1799-i rose and went . [I]1799-i knew what [I]1799-i was about ; [my]1799-i mind had run over the intent with lightning - speed . To take this step could not make [me]1799-i more wretched than [I]1799-i was ; it might soothe [me]1799-i . [The priest within the confessional]5486-the priest within the confessional never turned [his]5486-the priest within the confessional eyes to regard [me]1799-i ; [he]5486-the priest within the confessional only quietly inclined [his]5486-the priest within the confessional ear to [my]1799-i lips . [He]5486-the priest within the confessional might be [a good man]5487-a good man , but this duty had become to [him]5486-the priest within the confessional a sort of form : [he]5486-the priest within the confessional went through it with the phlegm of custom . [I]1799-i hesitated ; of the formula of confession [I]1799-i was ignorant : instead of commencing , then , with the prelude usual , [I]1799-i said : - "[1799-i] [Mon pere]1800-mon pere , je suis Protestante . " [He]1800-mon pere directly turned . [He]1800-mon pere was not [a native priest]5488-a native priest : of that class , the cast of physiognomy is , almost invariably , grovelling : [I]1800-mon pere saw by [his]1800-mon pere profile and brow [he]1800-mon pere was [a Frenchman]5489-a frenchman ; though grey and advanced in years , [he]1800-mon pere did not , [I]1800-mon pere think , lack feeling or intelligence . [He]1800-mon pere inquired , not unkindly , why , being [a Protestant]928-a protestant , [I]1800-mon pere came to [him]1800-mon pere ? [I]1800-mon pere said [I]1800-mon pere was perishing for a word of advice or an accent of comfort . [I]1800-mon pere had been living for some weeks quite alone ; [I]1800-mon pere had been ill ; [I]1800-mon pere had a pressure of affliction on [my]1800-mon pere mind of which it would hardly any longer endure the weight . "[1800-mon pere] Was it a sin , a crime ? " [he]1800-mon pere inquired , somewhat startled . [I]1801-i reassured [him]1800-mon pere on this point , and , as well as [I]1801-i could , [I]1801-i showed [him]1800-mon pere the mere outline of [my]1801-i experience . [He]1800-mon pere looked thoughtful , surprised , puzzled . "[1801-i] [You]1801-i take [me]0-i unawares , " said [he]1800-mon pere . "[1801-i] [I]0-i have not had such a case as [yours]1801-i before : ordinarily [we]1802-we know [our]1802-we routine , and are prepared ; but this makes a great break in the common course of confession . [I]0-i am hardly furnished with counsel fitting the circumstances . " Of course , [I]0-i had not expected [he]1800-mon pere would be ; but the mere relief of communication in an ear which was human and sentient , yet consecrated - the mere pouring out of some portion of long accumulating , long pent - up pain into a vessel whence it could not be again diffused - had done [me]0-i good . [I]0-i was already solaced . "[0-i] Must [I]0-i go , [father]1803-father ? " [I]1803-father asked of [him]1800-mon pere as [he]1800-mon pere sat silent . "[1803-father] [[My]0-i daughter]1804-my daughter , " [he]1800-mon pere said kindly - and [I]1803-father am sure [he]1800-mon pere was [a kind man]5491-a kind man : [he]1800-mon pere had a compassionate eye - "[1803-father] for the present [you]1804-my daughter had better go : but [I]0-i assure [you]1804-my daughter [your]1804-my daughter words have struck [me]0-i . Confession , like other things , is apt to become formal and trivial with habit . [You]1804-my daughter have come and poured [your]1804-my daughter heart out ; a thing seldom done . [I]0-i would fain think [your]1804-my daughter case over , and take it with [me]0-i to [[my]0-i oratory]1805-my oratory . Were [you]1804-my daughter of [our]1806-our faith [I]0-i should know what to say - a mind so tossed can find repose but in the bosom of retreat , and the punctual practice of piety . [The world]811-the world , it is well known , has no satisfaction for that class of natures . [Holy men]1808-holy men have bidden penitents like [you]1804-my daughter to hasten [their]1808-holy men path upward by penance , self - denial , and difficult good works . Tears are given [them]1808-holy men here for meat and drink - bread of affliction and waters of affliction - [their]1808-holy men recompence comes hereafter . It is [my]0-i own conviction that these impressions under which [you]1804-my daughter are smarting are messengers from [God]164-god to bring [you]1804-my daughter back to [the true Church]1809-the true church . [You]1804-my daughter were made for [our]1806-our faith : depend upon it [our]1806-our faith alone could heal and help [you]1804-my daughter - Protestantism is altogether too dry , cold , prosaic for [you]1804-my daughter . The further [I]0-i look into this matter , the more plainly [I]0-i see it is entirely out of the common order of things . On no account would [I]0-i lose sight of [you]1804-my daughter . Go , [[my]0-i daughter]1804-my daughter , for the present ; but return to [me]0-i again . " [I]1804-my daughter rose and thanked [him]0-i . [I]1804-my daughter was withdrawing when [he]0-i signed [me]1804-my daughter to return . "[1804-my daughter] [You]1804-my daughter must not come to [this church]1811-this church , " said [he]0-i : "[0-i] [I]0-i see [you]1804-my daughter are ill , and [this church]1811-this church is too cold ; [you]1804-my daughter must come to [[my]0-i house]1813-my house : [I]0-i live - - " and [he]0-i gave [me]1804-my daughter [his]0-i address . "[1804-my daughter] Be there to - morrow morning at ten . " In reply to this appointment , [I]1804-my daughter only bowed ; and pulling down [my]1804-my daughter veil , and gathering round [me]1804-my daughter [my]1804-my daughter cloak , [I]1804-my daughter glided away . Did [I]1804-my daughter , do [you]5492-you suppose , [reader]4604-reader , contemplate venturing again within [that worthy priest]5494-that worthy priest 's reach ? As soon should [I]1804-my daughter have thought of walking into [a Babylonish furnace]5495-a babylonish furnace . [That priest]5496-that priest had arms which could influence [me]1804-my daughter : [he]5496-that priest was naturally kind , with a sentimental French kindness , to whose softness [I]1804-my daughter knew [myself]1804-my daughter not wholly impervious . Without respecting some sorts of affection , there was hardly any sort having a fibre of root in reality , which [I]1804-my daughter could rely on [my]1804-my daughter force wholly to withstand . Had [I]1804-my daughter gone to [him]5496-that priest , [he]5496-that priest would have shown [me]1804-my daughter all that was tender , and comforting , and gentle , in the honest Popish superstition . Then [he]5496-that priest would have tried to kindle , blow and stir up in [me]1804-my daughter the zeal of good works . [I]1804-my daughter know not how it would all have ended . [We]5497-we all think [ourselves]5497-we strong in some points ; [we]5497-we all know [ourselves]5497-we weak in many ; the probabilities are that had [I]1804-my daughter visited [Numero 10]62-numero 10 , [Rue des Mages]63-rue des mages , at the hour and day appointed , [I]1804-my daughter might just now , instead of writing this heretic narrative , be counting [my]1804-my daughter beads in [the cell of [a certain Carmelite convent]5499-a certain carmelite convent on [the Boulevard of Crecy]5500-the boulevard of crecy]5498-the cell of a certain carmelite convent on the boulevard of crecy , in [Villette]3-villette . There was something of [Fenelon]278-fenelon about [that benign old priest]5501-that benign old priest ; and whatever most of [[his]5496-that priest brethren]5502-his brethren may be , and whatever [I]1804-my daughter may think of [his]5496-that priest Church and creed and [I]1804-my daughter like neither , of [himself]5496-that priest [I]1804-my daughter must ever retain a grateful recollection . [He]5496-that priest was kind when [I]1804-my daughter needed kindness ; [he]5496-that priest did [me]1804-my daughter good . May Heaven bless [him]5496-that priest ! Twilight had passed into night , and the lamps were lit in [the streets]983-the streets ere [I]1804-my daughter issued from [that sombre church]5504-that sombre church . To turn back was now become possible to [me]1804-my daughter ; the wild longing to breathe this October wind on [the little hill far without [the city]4429-the city walls]5505-the little hill far without the city walls had ceased to be an imperative impulse , and was softened into a wish with which Reason could cope : [she]5507-she put it down , and [I]1804-my daughter turned , as [I]1804-my daughter thought , to [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette . But [I]1804-my daughter had become involved in [a part of [the city]4429-the city with which [I]1804-my daughter was not familiar]5508-a part of the city with which i was not familiar ; it was the old part , and full of [narrow streets of [picturesque , ancient , and mouldering houses]5511-picturesque , ancient , and mouldering houses]5510-narrow streets of picturesque , ancient , and mouldering houses . [I]1804-my daughter was much too weak to be very collected , and [I]1804-my daughter was still too careless of [my]1804-my daughter own welfare and safety to be cautious ; [I]1804-my daughter grew embarrassed ; [I]1804-my daughter got immeshed in a network of turns unknown . [I]1804-my daughter was lost and had no resolution to ask guidance of [any passenger]5512-any passenger . If the storm had lulled a little at sunset , it made up now for lost time . Strong and horizontal thundered the current of the wind from [north - west]5513-north - west to [south - east]5514-south - east ; it brought rain like spray , and sometimes a sharp hail , like shot : it was cold and pierced [me]1804-my daughter to the vitals . [I]1804-my daughter bent [my]1804-my daughter head to meet it , but it beat [me]1804-my daughter back . [My]1804-my daughter heart did not fail at all in this conflict ; [I]1804-my daughter only wished that [I]1804-my daughter had wings and could ascend the gale , spread and repose [my]1804-my daughter pinions on its strength , career in its course , sweep where it swept . While wishing this , [I]1804-my daughter suddenly felt colder where before [I]1804-my daughter was cold , and more powerless where before [I]1804-my daughter was weak . [I]1804-my daughter tried to reach [the porch of [a great building near]5516-a great building near]5515-the porch of a great building near , but the mass of frontage and the giant spire turned black and vanished from [my]1804-my daughter eyes . Instead of sinking on the steps as [I]1804-my daughter intended , [I]1804-my daughter seemed to pitch headlong down an abyss . [I]1804-my daughter remember no more . CHAPTER XVI . AULD LANG SYNE . Where [my]1804-my daughter soul went during that swoon [I]1804-my daughter can not tell . Whatever [she]5517-her saw , or wherever [she]5517-her travelled in [her]5517-her trance on that strange night [she]5517-her kept [her]5517-her own secret ; never whispering a word to Memory , and baffling imagination by an indissoluble silence . [She]5517-her may have gone upward , and come in sight of [[her]5517-her eternal home]5518-her eternal home , hoping for leave to rest now , and deeming that [her]5517-her painful union with matter was at last dissolved . While [she]5517-her so deemed , [an angel]1143-an angel may have warned [her]5517-her away from heaven 's threshold , and , guiding [her]5517-her weeping down , have bound [her]5517-her , once more , all shuddering and unwilling , to that poor frame , cold and wasted , of whose companionship [she]5517-her was grown more than weary . [I]1804-my daughter know [she]5517-her re - entered [[her]5517-her prison]5520-her prison with pain , with reluctance , with a moan and a long shiver . [The divorced mates]5521-the divorced mates , Spirit and [Substance]279-substance , were hard to re - unite : [they]5521-the divorced mates greeted [each other]4318-each other , not in an embrace , but a racking sort of struggle . The returning sense of sight came upon [me]1804-my daughter , red , as if it swam in blood ; suspended hearing rushed back loud , like thunder ; consciousness revived in fear : [I]1804-my daughter sat up appalled , wondering into what region , amongst what strange beings [I]1804-my daughter was waking . At first [I]1804-my daughter knew nothing [I]1804-my daughter looked on : a wall was not a wall - a lamp not a lamp . [I]1804-my daughter should have understood what [we]5523-we call [a ghost]5524-a ghost , as well as [I]1804-my daughter did the commonest object : which is another way of intimating that all [my]1804-my daughter eye rested on struck it as spectral . But [the faculties]5525-the faculties soon settled each in [[his]5526-his place]5527-his place ; the life - machine presently resumed its wonted and regular working . Still , [I]1804-my daughter knew not where [I]1804-my daughter was ; only in time [I]1804-my daughter saw [I]1804-my daughter had been removed from the spot where [I]1804-my daughter fell : [I]1804-my daughter lay on [no portico - step]5528-no portico - step ; night and tempest were excluded by walls , windows , and ceiling . Into [some house]5529-some house [I]1804-my daughter had been carried - but what [house]5530-house ? [I]1804-my daughter could only think of [the pensionnat in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette]5531-the pensionnat in the rue fossette . Still half- dreaming , [I]1804-my daughter tried hard to discover in [what room [they]5531-the pensionnat in the rue fossette had put [me]1804-my daughter]5532-what room they had put me ; whether [the great dormitory]5533-the great dormitory , or [one of [the little dormitories]5535-the little dormitories]5534-one of the little dormitories . [I]1804-my daughter was puzzled , because [I]1804-my daughter could not make the glimpses of furniture [I]1804-my daughter saw accord with [my]1804-my daughter knowledge of [any of [these apartments]5537-these apartments]5536-any of these apartments . The empty white beds were wanting , and the long line of large windows . "[1804-my daughter] Surely , " thought [I]1804-my daughter , "[1804-my daughter] it is not to [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's own chamber]1814-madame beck 's own chamber [they]1815-i have carried [me]0-i ! " And here [my]1815-i eye fell on an easy - chair covered with blue damask . Other seats , cushioned to match , dawned on [me]1815-i by degrees ; and at last [I]1815-i took in the complete fact of [a pleasant parlour]5538-a pleasant parlour , with a wood fire on a clear - shining hearth , a carpet where arabesques of bright blue relieved a ground of shaded fawn ; pale walls over which a slight but endless garland of azure forget - [me]1815-i - nots ran mazed and bewildered amongst myriad gold leaves and tendrils . A gilded mirror filled up the space between two windows , curtained amply with blue damask . In this mirror [I]1815-i saw [myself]1815-i laid , not in bed , but on a sofa . [I]1815-i looked spectral ; [my]1815-i eyes larger and more hollow , [my]1815-i hair darker than was natural , by contrast with [my]1815-i thin and ashen face . It was obvious , not only from the furniture , but from the position of windows , doors , and fireplace , that this was [an unknown room in [an unknown house]5540-an unknown house]5539-an unknown room in an unknown house . Hardly less plain was it that [my]1815-i brain was not yet settled ; for , as [I]1815-i gazed at the blue arm - chair , it appeared to grow familiar ; so did a certain scroll - couch , and not less so the round centre - table , with a blue - covering , bordered with autumn - tinted foliage ; and , above all , two little footstools with worked covers , and a small ebony - framed chair , of which the seat and back were also worked with groups of brilliant flowers on a dark ground . Struck with these things , [I]1815-i explored further . Strange to say , [old acquaintance]650-old acquaintance were all about [me]1815-i , and "[1815-i] auld lang syne " smiled out of [every nook]5542-every nook . There were two oval miniatures over the mantel - piece , of which [I]1815-i knew by heart the pearls about the high and powdered "[1815-i] heads ; " the velvets circling the white throats ; the swell of the full muslin kerchiefs : the pattern of the lace sleeve - ruffles . Upon the mantel- shelf there were two china vases , some relics of a diminutive tea- service , as smooth as enamel and as thin as egg - shell , and a white centre ornament , a classic group in alabaster , preserved under glass . Of all these things [I]1815-i could have told the peculiarities , numbered the flaws or cracks , like any clairvoyante . Above all , there was a pair of handscreens , with elaborate pencil - drawings finished like line engravings ; these , [my]1815-i very eyes ached at beholding again , recalling hours when [they]650-old acquaintance had followed , stroke by stroke and touch by touch , a tedious , feeble , finical , school - girl pencil held in these fingers , now so skeleton - like . Where was [I]1815-i ? Not only in [what spot of [the world]811-the world]5543-what spot of the world , but in what year of [[our]5545-our Lord]5546-our lord ? For all these objects were of past days , and of [a distant country]5547-a distant country . Ten years ago [I]1815-i bade [them]650-old acquaintance good - by ; since [my]1815-i fourteenth year [they]650-old acquaintance and [I]1815-i had never met . [I]1815-i gasped audibly , "[1815-i] Where am [I]0-i ? " A shape hitherto unnoticed , stirred , rose , came forward : a shape inharmonious with the environment , serving only to complicate the riddle further . This was no more than a sort of native bonne , in [a common - place bonne]5548-a common - place bonne 's cap and print - dress . [She]5549-she spoke neither French nor English , and [I]0-i could get no intelligence from [her]5549-she , not understanding [her]5549-she phrases of dialect . But [she]5549-she bathed [my]0-i temples and forehead with some cool and perfumed water , and then [she]5549-she heightened the cushion on which [I]0-i reclined , made signs that [I]0-i was not to speak , and resumed [her]5549-she post at the foot of the sofa . [She]5549-she was busy knitting ; [her]5549-she eyes thus drawn from [me]0-i , [I]0-i could gaze on [her]5549-she without interruption . [I]0-i did mightily wonder how [she]5549-she came [there]512-there , or what [she]5549-she could have to do among the scenes , or with the days of [my]0-i girlhood . Still more [I]0-i marvelled what those scenes and days could now have to do with [me]0-i . Too weak to scrutinize thoroughly the mystery , [I]0-i tried to settle it by saying it was a mistake , a dream , a fever - fit ; and yet [I]0-i knew there could be no mistake , and that [I]0-i was not sleeping , and [I]0-i believed [I]0-i was sane . [I]0-i wished [the room]600-the room had not been so well lighted , that [I]0-i might not so clearly have seen the little pictures , the ornaments , the screens , the worked chair . All these objects , as well as the blue - damask furniture , were , in fact , precisely the same , in every minutest detail , with those [I]0-i so well remembered , and with which [I]0-i had been so thoroughly intimate , in the drawing - room of [[[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother 's house at [Bretton]135-graham]5553-my godmother 's house at bretton . Methought [the apartment]5554-the apartment only was changed , being of different proportions and dimensions . [I]0-i thought of [Bedreddin Hassan]280-bedreddin hassan , transported in [his]280-bedreddin hassan sleep from [Cairo]64-cairo to [the gates of [Damascus]65-damascus]5555-the gates of damascus . Had [a Genius]5556-a genius stooped [his]280-bedreddin hassan dark wing down the storm to whose stress [I]0-i had succumbed , and gathering [me]0-i from the church - steps , and "[0-i] rising high into the air , " as the eastern tale said , had [he]280-bedreddin hassan borne [me]0-i over [land]4581-land and [ocean]5558-ocean , and laid [me]0-i quietly down beside [a hearth of [Old England]53-old england]5559-a hearth of old england ? But no ; [I]0-i knew the fire of that hearth burned before [its Lares]67-its lares no more - it went out long ago , and the household gods had been carried elsewhere . [The bonne]1207-the bonne turned again to survey [me]0-i , and seeing [my]0-i eyes wide open , and , [I]0-i suppose , deeming [their]5561-their expression perturbed and excited , [she]1207-the bonne put down [her]1207-the bonne knitting . [I]0-i saw [her]1207-the bonne busied for a moment at a little stand ; [she]1207-the bonne poured out water , and measured drops from a phial : glass in hand , [she]1207-the bonne approached [me]0-i . What dark - tinged draught might [she]1207-the bonne now be offering ? what Genii - elixir or Magi - distillation ? It was too late to inquire - [I]0-i had swallowed it passively , and at once . A tide of quiet thought now came gently caressing [my]0-i brain ; softer and softer rose the flow , with tepid undulations smoother than balm . The pain of weakness left [my]0-i limbs , [my]0-i muscles slept . [I]0-i lost power to move ; but , losing at the same time wish , it was no privation . [That kind bonne]5562-that kind bonne placed a screen between [me]0-i and the lamp ; [I]0-i saw [her]1207-the bonne rise to do this , but do not remember seeing [her]1207-the bonne resume [her]1207-the bonne place : in the interval between the two acts , [I]0-i "[0-i] fell on sleep . " At waking , [lo]5563-lo ! all was again changed . The light of high day surrounded [me]0-i ; not , indeed , a warm , summer light , but the leaden gloom of raw and blustering autumn . [I]0-i felt sure now that [I]0-i was in [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat - sure by the beating rain on the casement ; sure by the "[0-i] wuther " of wind amongst trees , denoting [a garden outside]5565-a garden outside ; sure by the chill , the whiteness , the solitude , amidst which [I]0-i lay . [I]0-i say whiteness - for the dimity curtains , dropped before a French bed , bounded [my]0-i view . [I]0-i lifted them ; [I]0-i looked out . [My]0-i eye , prepared to take in the range of [a long , large , and whitewashed chamber]5566-a long , large , and whitewashed chamber , blinked baffled , on encountering the limited area of a small cabinet - a cabinet with seagreen walls ; also , instead of five wide and naked windows , there was one high lattice , shaded with muslin festoons : instead of two dozen little stands of painted wood , each holding a basin and an ewer , there was a toilette - table dressed , like [a lady for a ball]5567-a lady for a ball , in a white robe over a pink skirt ; a polished and large glass crowned , and a pretty pin - cushion frilled with lace , adorned it . This toilette , together with a small , low , green and white chintz arm - chair , a washstand topped with a marble slab , and supplied with utensils of pale greenware , sufficiently furnished [the tiny chamber]5568-the tiny chamber . [Reader]281-reader ; [I]0-i felt alarmed ! Why ? [you]281-reader will ask . What was there in [this simple and somewhat pretty sleeping - closet]5569-this simple and somewhat pretty sleeping - closet to startle the most timid ? Merely this - These articles of furniture could not be real , solid arm- chairs , looking - glasses , and washstands - they must be the ghosts of such articles ; or , if this were denied as too wild an hypothesis - and , confounded as [I]0-i was , [I]0-i did deny it - there remained but to conclude that [I]0-i had [myself]0-i passed into an abnormal state of mind ; in short , that [I]0-i was very ill and delirious : and even then , [mine]0-i was the strangest figment with which delirium had ever harassed [a victim]5570-a victim . [I]0-i knew - [I]0-i was obliged to know - the green chintz of that little chair ; the little snug chair itself , the carved , shining - black , foliated frame of that glass ; the smooth , milky - green of the china vessels on the stand ; the very stand too , with [its]5571-its top of grey marble , splintered at one corner ; - all these [I]0-i was compelled to recognise and to hail , as last night [I]0-i had , perforce , recognised and hailed the rosewood , the drapery , the porcelain , of [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room . [Bretton]135-graham ! [Bretton]135-graham ! and ten years ago shone reflected in that mirror . And why did [Bretton]135-graham and [my]0-i fourteenth year haunt [me]0-i thus ? Why , if [they]5573-they came at all , did [they]5573-they not return complete ? Why hovered before [my]0-i distempered vision the mere furniture , while [the rooms]5260-the rooms and [the locality]5575-the locality were gone ? As to that pincushion made of crimson satin , ornamented with gold beads and frilled with thread - lace , [I]0-i had the same right to know it as to know the screens - [I]0-i had made it [myself]0-i . Rising with a start from the bed , [I]0-i took the cushion in [my]0-i hand and examined it . There was the cipher "[0-i] L. L. B. " formed in gold beds , and surrounded with an oval wreath embroidered in white silk . These were the initials of [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother 's name - [Lonisa Lucy Bretton]282-lonisa lucy bretton . "[0-i] Am [I]0-i in [England]19-england ? Am [I]0-i at [Bretton]135-graham ? " [I]0-i muttered ; and hastily pulling up the blind with which the lattice was shrouded , [I]0-i looked out to try and discover where [I]0-i was ; half - prepared to meet [the calm , old , handsome buildings and clean grey pavement of [St. Ann 's Street]68-st. ann 's street]5577-the calm , old , handsome buildings and clean grey pavement of st. ann 's street , and to see at the end [the towers of [the minster]5579-the minster]5578-the towers of the minster : or , if otherwise , fully expectant of [a town]5411-a town view somewhere , [a rue in [Villette]3-villette]5581-a rue in villette , if not [a street in [a pleasant and ancient English city]5583-a pleasant and ancient english city]5582-a street in a pleasant and ancient english city . [I]0-i looked , on the contrary , through a frame of leafage , clustering round the high lattice , and forth thence to a grassy mead - like level , [a lawn - terrace with trees rising from the lower ground beyond - high forest - trees , such as [I]0-i had not seen for many a day]5584-a lawn - terrace with trees rising from the lower ground beyond - high forest - trees , such as i had not seen for many a day . [They]5585-they were now groaning under the gale of October , and between [their]5585-they trunks [I]0-i traced the line of [an avenue]5586-an avenue , where yellow leaves lay in heaps and drifts , or were whirled singly before the sweeping west wind . [Whatever landscape]5587-whatever landscape might lie further must have been flat , and these tall beeches shut it out . [The place]5129-the place seemed secluded , and was to [me]0-i quite strange : [I]0-i did not know it at all . Once more [I]0-i lay down . [My]0-i bed stood in a little alcove ; on turning [my]0-i face to the wall , [the room]600-the room with [its]600-the room bewildering accompaniments became excluded . Excluded ? No ! For as [I]0-i arranged [my]0-i position in this hope , behold , on the green space between the divided and looped - up curtains , hung a broad , gilded picture - frame enclosing a portrait . It was drawn - well drawn , though but a sketch - in water - colours ; a head , [a boy]4374-a boy 's head , fresh , life - like , speaking , and animated . [It]5591-it seemed [a youth of sixteen]5592-a youth of sixteen , fair - complexioned , with sanguine health in [his]5592-a youth of sixteen cheek ; hair long , not dark , and with a sunny sheen ; penetrating eyes , an arch mouth , and a gay smile . On the whole a most pleasant face to look at , especially for , [those claiming a right to that youth]5593-those claiming a right to that youth 's affections - [parents]1307-parents , for instance , or [sisters]5595-sisters . [Any romantic little school - girl]5596-any romantic little school - girl might almost have loved it in its frame . Those eyes looked as if when somewhat older [they]5597-they would flash a lightning - response to love : [I]0-i can not tell whether [they]5597-they kept in store the steady - beaming shine of faith . For whatever sentiment met [him]5592-a youth of sixteen in form too facile , [his]5592-a youth of sixteen lips menaced , beautifully but surely , caprice and light esteem . Striving to take each new discovery as quietly as [I]0-i could , [I]0-i whispered to [myself]0-i - "[0-i] Ah ! that portrait used to hang in [the breakfast - room]4229-the breakfast - room , over the mantel - piece : somewhat too high , as [I]0-i thought . [I]0-i well remember how [I]0-i used to mount a music - stool for the purpose of unhooking it , holding it in [my]0-i hand , and searching into those bonny wells of eyes , whose glance under [their]1817-their hazel lashes seemed like a pencilled laugh ; and well [I]0-i liked to note the colouring of the cheek , and the expression of the mouth . " [I]0-i hardly believed [fancy]5598-fancy could improve on the curve of that mouth , or of the chin ; even [my]0-i ignorance knew that both were beautiful , and pondered perplexed over this doubt : "[0-i] How it was that what charmed so much , could at the same time so keenly pain ? " Once , by way of test , [I]0-i took [little Missy Home]138-missy , and , lifting [her]138-missy in [my]0-i arms , told [her]138-missy to look at the picture . "[0-i] Do [you]1818-i like it , [Polly]204-modeste maria beck ? " [I]0-i asked . [She]138-missy never answered , but gazed long , and at last a darkness went trembling through [her]138-missy sensitive eye , as [she]138-missy said , "[0-i] Put [me]0-i down . " So [I]0-i put [her]138-missy down , saying to [myself]0-i : "[0-i] [The child]4206-the child feels it too . " All these things do [I]4206-the child now think over , adding , "[4206-the child] [He]4206-the child had [his]4206-the child faults , yet scarce ever was a finer nature ; liberal , suave , impressible . " [My]135-graham reflections closed in an audibly pronounced word , "[135-graham] [Graham]135-graham ! " "[135-graham] [Graham]135-graham ! " echoed a sudden voice at the bedside . "[135-graham] Do [you]1818-i want [Graham]135-graham ? " [I]1818-i looked . The plot was but thickening ; the wonder but culminating . If it was strange to see that well - remembered pictured form on the wall , still stranger was it to turn and behold [the equally well - remembered living form opposite]5599-the equally well - remembered living form opposite - [a woman]4363-a woman , [a lady , most real and substantial]5601-a lady , most real and substantial , tall , well - attired , wearing [widow]5602-widow 's silk , and such a cap as best became [[her]138-missy matron]5603-her matron and motherly braids of hair . [Hers]138-missy , too , was a good face ; too marked , perhaps , now for beauty , but not for sense or character . [She]138-missy was little changed ; something sterner , something more robust - but [she]138-missy was [[my]1818-i godmother]506-my godmother : still the distinct vision of [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . [I]1818-i kept quiet , yet internally [I]1818-i was much agitated : [my]1818-i pulse fluttered , and the blood left [my]1818-i cheek , which turned cold . "[1818-i] [Madam]4242-madam , where am [I]0-i ? " [I]1818-i inquired . "[1818-i] In [a very safe asylum]1821-a very safe asylum ; well protected for the present ; make [your]4242-madam mind quite easy till [you]4242-madam get a little better ; [you]4242-madam look ill this morning . " "[0-i] [I]0-i am so entirely bewildered , [I]0-i do not know whether [I]0-i can trust [my]0-i senses at all , or whether [they]1822-they are misleading [me]0-i in every particular : but [you]4242-madam speak English , do [you]4242-madam not , [madam]4242-madam ? " "[4242-madam] [I]0-i should think [you]4242-madam might hear that : it would puzzle [me]0-i to hold a long discourse in French . " "[0-i] [You]0-i do not come from [England]19-england ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am lately arrived thence . Have [you]0-i been long in [this country]1824-this country ? [You]0-i seem to know [[my]0-i son]1825-my son ? " "[0-i] Do , [I]0-i , [madam]4242-madam ? Perhaps [I]0-i do . [[Your]0-i son]700-your son - the picture there ? " "[700-your son] That is [his]700-your son portrait as [a youth]1828-a youth . While looking at it , [you]4242-madam pronounced [his]700-your son name . " "[4242-madam] [Graham Bretton]135-graham ? " [She]4242-madam nodded . "[0-i] [I]0-i speak to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , formerly of [Bretton]135-graham , - - shire ? " "[130-mrs. bretton] Quite right ; and [you]0-i , [I]0-i am told , are [an English teacher in [a foreign school]4790-a foreign school [here]4212-here]1829-an english teacher in a foreign school here : [[my]0-i son]1825-my son recognised [you]0-i as such . " "[1825-my son] How was [I]0-i found , [madam]4242-madam , and by whom ? " "[0-i] [[My]0-i son]1825-my son shall tell [you]0-i that by - and - by , " said [she]4242-madam ; "[1825-my son] but at present [you]0-i are too confused and weak for conversation : try to eat some breakfast , and then sleep . " Notwithstanding all [I]1825-my son had undergone - the bodily fatigue , the perturbation of spirits , the exposure to weather - it seemed that [I]1825-my son was better : the fever , the real malady which had oppressed [my]1825-my son frame , was abating ; for , whereas during the last nine days [I]1825-my son had taken no solid food , and suffered from continual thirst , this morning , on breakfast being offered , [I]1825-my son experienced a craving for nourishment : an inward faintness which caused [me]1825-my son eagerly to taste the tea [this lady]1053-this lady offered , and to eat the morsel of dry toast [she]1053-this lady allowed in accompaniment . It was only a morsel , but it sufficed ; keeping up [my]1825-my son strength till some two or three hours afterwards , when [the bonne]1207-the bonne brought [me]1825-my son a little cup of broth and a biscuit . As evening began to darken , and the ceaseless blast still blew wild and cold , and the rain streamed on , deluge - like , [I]1825-my son grew weary - very weary of [my]1825-my son bed . [The room]600-the room , though pretty , was small : [I]1825-my son felt it confining : [I]1825-my son longed for a change . The increasing chill and gathering gloom , too , depressed [me]1825-my son ; [I]1825-my son wanted to see - to feel firelight . Besides , [I]1825-my son kept thinking of [the son of [that tall matron]5609-that tall matron]5608-the son of that tall matron : when should [I]1825-my son see [him]5608-the son of that tall matron ? Certainly not till [I]1825-my son left [[my]1825-my son room]1110-my room . At last [the bonne]1207-the bonne came to make [my]1825-my son bed for the night . [She]1207-the bonne prepared to wrap [me]1825-my son in a blanket and place [me]1825-my son in the little chintz chair ; but , declining these attentions , [I]1825-my son proceeded to dress [myself]1825-my son : The business was just achieved , and [I]1825-my son was sitting down to take breath , when [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton once more appeared . "[1825-my son] Dressed ! " [she]1207-the bonne exclaimed , smiling with that smile [I]1825-my son so well knew - a pleasant smile , though not soft . "[1825-my son] [You]1835-i are quite better then ? Quite strong - eh ? " [She]1207-the bonne spoke to [me]1835-i so much as of old [she]1207-the bonne used to speak that [I]1835-i almost fancied [she]1207-the bonne was beginning to know [me]1835-i . There was the same sort of patronage in [her]1207-the bonne voice and manner that , as [a girl]517-a girl , [I]1835-i had always experienced from [her]1207-the bonne - a patronage [I]1835-i yielded to and even liked ; it was not founded on conventional grounds of superior wealth or station in the last particular there had never been any inequality ; [her]1207-the bonne degree was mine ; but on natural reasons of physical advantage : it was the shelter the tree gives the herb . [I]1835-i put a request without further ceremony . "[1835-i] Do let [me]0-i go down - [stairs]593-stairs , [madam]4242-madam ; [I]0-i am so cold and dull here . " "[0-i] [I]0-i desire nothing better , if [you]1835-i are strong enough to bear the change , " was [her]1207-the bonne reply . "[1835-i] Come then ; here is an arm . " And [she]1207-the bonne offered [me]1835-i [hers]1207-the bonne : [I]1835-i took it , and [we]5613-we descended one flight of carpeted steps to a landing where a tall door , standing open , gave admission into [the blue - damask room]5614-the blue - damask room . How pleasant [it]5614-the blue - damask room was in [its]5614-the blue - damask room air of perfect domestic comfort ! How warm in [its]5614-the blue - damask room amber lamp - light and vermilion fire - flush ! To render the picture perfect , tea stood ready on the table - an English tea , whereof the whole shining service glanced at [me]1835-i familiarly ; from the solid silver urn , of antique pattern , and the massive pot of the same metal , to the thin porcelain cups , dark with purple and gilding . [I]1835-i knew the very seed - cake of peculiar form , baked in a peculiar mould , which always had a place on the tea - table at [Bretton]135-graham . [Graham]135-graham liked it , and there it was as of yore - set before [Graham]135-graham 's plate with the silver knife and fork beside it . [Graham]135-graham was then expected to tea : [Graham]135-graham was now , perhaps , in [the house]518-the house ; ere many minutes [I]1835-i might see [him]135-graham . "[1835-i] Sit down - sit down , " said [[my]1838-i conductress]5616-my conductress , as [my]1838-i step faltered a little in passing to the hearth . [She]5616-my conductress seated [me]1838-i on the sofa , but [I]1838-i soon passed behind [it]5614-the blue - damask room , saying the fire was too hot ; in its shade [I]1838-i found another seat which suited [me]1838-i better . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton was never wo nt to make a fuss about [any person]5617-any person or anything ; without remonstrance [she]130-mrs. bretton suffered [me]1838-i to have [my]1838-i own way . [She]5616-my conductress made the tea , and [she]5616-my conductress took up the newspaper . [I]1838-i liked to watch every action of [[my]1838-i godmother]506-my godmother ; all [her]5616-my conductress movements were so young : [she]5616-my conductress must have been now above fifty , yet neither [her]5616-my conductress sinews nor [her]5616-my conductress spirit seemed yet touched by the rust of age . Though portly , [she]5616-my conductress was alert , and though serene , [she]5616-my conductress was at times impetuous - good health and an excellent temperament kept [her]5616-my conductress green as in [her]5616-my conductress spring . While [she]5616-my conductress read , [I]1838-i perceived [she]5616-my conductress listened - listened for [[her]5616-my conductress son]532-her son . [She]5616-my conductress was not the woman ever to confess [herself]5616-my conductress uneasy , but there was yet no lull in the weather , and if [Graham]135-graham were out in that hoarse wind - roaring still unsatisfied - [I]1838-i well knew [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's heart would be out with [him]135-graham . "[1838-i] Ten minutes behind [his]1838-i time , " said [she]5616-my conductress , looking at [her]5616-my conductress watch ; then , in another minute , a lifting of [her]5616-my conductress eyes from the page , and a slight inclination of [her]5616-my conductress head towards the door , denoted that [she]5616-my conductress heard some sound . Presently [her]5616-my conductress brow cleared ; and then even [my]1838-i ear , less practised , caught the iron clash of a gate swung to , steps on gravel , lastly the door - bell . [He]135-graham was come . [[His]135-graham mother]534-his mother filled the teapot from the urn , [she]5616-my conductress drew nearer the hearth the stuffed and cushioned blue chair - [her]5616-my conductress own chair by right , but [I]1838-i saw there was one who might with impunity usurp it . And when [that one]5622-that one came up the stairs - which [he]135-graham soon did , after , [I]1838-i suppose , some such attention to the toilet as the wild and wet night rendered necessary , and strode straight in - "[1838-i] Is it [you]1838-i , [Graham]135-graham ? " said [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother , hiding a glad smile and speaking curtly . "[1838-i] Who else should it be , [mamma]4272-mamma ? " demanded the Unpunctual , possessing [himself]135-graham irreverently of the abdicated throne . "[4272-mamma] Do n't [you]1838-i deserve cold tea , for being late ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i shall not get [my]0-i deserts , for [the urn]1840-the urn sings cheerily . " "[1840-the urn] Wheel [yourself]1838-i to the table , [lazy boy]1841-lazy boy : no seat will serve [you]1838-i but [mine]0-i ; if [you]1838-i had one spark of a sense of propriety , [you]1838-i would always leave that chair for [the Old Lady]1842-the old lady . " "[1842-the old lady] So [I]0-i should ; only [the dear Old Lady]1843-the dear old lady persists in leaving it for [me]0-i . How is [[your]1838-i patient]1844-your patient , [mamma]4272-mamma ? " "[4272-mamma] Will [she]1844-your patient come forward and speak for [herself]1844-your patient ? " said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , turning to [my]1844-your patient corner ; and at this invitation , forward [I]1844-your patient came . [Graham]135-graham courteously rose up to greet [me]1844-your patient . [He]135-graham stood tall on the hearth , a figure justifying [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's unconcealed pride . "[1844-your patient] So [you]4272-mamma are come down , " said [he]0-i ; "[4272-mamma] [you]4272-mamma must be better then - much better . [I]0-i scarcely expected [we]1846-we should meet thus , or here . [I]0-i was alarmed last night , and if [I]0-i had not been forced to hurry away to [a dying patient]1847-a dying patient , [I]0-i certainly would not have left [you]4272-mamma ; but [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother [herself]4268-my mother is something of [a doctress]1849-a doctress , and [Martha an excellent nurse]1850-martha an excellent nurse . [I]0-i saw the case was a fainting - fit , not necessarily dangerous . What brought it on , [I]0-i have yet to learn , and all particulars ; meantime , [I]0-i trust [you]4272-mamma really do feel better ? " "[4272-mamma] Much better , " [I]4272-mamma said calmly . "[4272-mamma] Much better , [I]0-i thank [you]4272-mamma , [Dr. John]135-graham . " For , [reader]4604-reader , [this tall young man]5626-this tall young man - [this darling son]5627-this darling son - [this host of [mine]4272-mamma]5628-this host of mine - this [Graham Bretton]135-graham , was [Dr. John]135-graham : [he]135-graham , and [no other]5629-no other ; and , what is more , [I]135-graham ascertained this identity scarcely with surprise . What is more , when [I]135-graham heard [Graham]135-graham 's step on the stairs , [I]135-graham knew what manner of figure would enter , and for whose aspect to prepare [my]135-graham eyes . The discovery was not of to - day , its dawn had penetrated [my]135-graham perceptions long since . Of course [I]135-graham remembered [young Bretton]135-graham well ; and though ten years from sixteen to twenty - six may greatly change [the boy]880-the boy as [they]5631-they mature [him]880-the boy to [the man]4959-the man , yet [they]5631-they could bring no such utter difference as would suffice wholly to blind [my]135-graham eyes , or baffle [my]135-graham memory . [Dr. John Graham Bretton]135-graham retained still an affinity to [the youth of sixteen]5633-the youth of sixteen : [he]135-graham had [his]135-graham eyes ; [he]135-graham had some of [his]135-graham features ; to wit , all the excellently - moulded lower half of the face ; [I]135-graham found [him]135-graham out soon . [I]135-graham first recognised [him]135-graham on that occasion , noted several chapters back , when [my]135-graham unguardedly - fixed attention had drawn on [me]135-graham the mortification of an implied rebuke . Subsequent observation confirmed , in every point , that early surmise . [I]135-graham traced in the gesture , the port , and the habits of [his]135-graham manhood , all [[his]135-graham boy]5634-his boy 's promise . [I]135-graham heard in [his]135-graham now deep tones the accent of former days . Certain turns of phrase , peculiar to [him]135-graham of old , were peculiar to [him]135-graham still ; and so was many a trick of eye and lip , many a smile , many a sudden ray levelled from the irid , under [his]135-graham well - charactered brow . To say anything on the subject , to hint at [my]135-graham discovery , had not suited [my]135-graham habits of thought , or assimilated with [my]135-graham system of feeling . On the contrary , [I]135-graham had preferred to keep the matter to [myself]135-graham . [I]135-graham liked entering [his]135-graham presence covered with a cloud [he]135-graham had not seen through , while [he]135-graham stood before [me]135-graham under a ray of special illumination which shone all partial over [his]135-graham head , trembled about [his]135-graham feet , and cast light no farther . Well [I]135-graham knew that to [him]135-graham it could make little difference , were [I]135-graham to come forward and announce , "[135-graham] This is [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy ! " So [I]1851-miss kept back in [[[my]1851-miss teacher]5635-my teacher 's place]5636-my teacher 's place ; and as [he]135-graham never asked [my]1851-miss name , so [I]1851-miss never gave it . [He]135-graham heard [me]1851-miss called "[1851-miss] [Miss]1851-miss , " and "[142-lucy] [Miss Lucy]142-lucy ; " [he]135-graham never heard the surname , "[142-lucy] [Snowe]142-lucy . " As to spontaneous recognition - though [I]142-lucy , perhaps , was still less changed than [he]135-graham - the idea never approached [his]135-graham mind , and why should [I]142-lucy suggest it ? During tea , [Dr. John]135-graham was kind , as it was [his]135-graham nature to be ; that meal over , and the tray carried out , [he]135-graham made a cosy arrangement of the cushions in a corner of the sofa , and obliged [me]142-lucy to settle amongst them . [He]135-graham and [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother also drew to the fire , and ere [we]5638-we had sat ten minutes , [I]142-lucy caught the eye of the latter fastened steadily upon [me]142-lucy . [Women]4398-women are certainly quicker in some things than [men]4397-men . "[142-lucy] Well , " [she]534-his mother exclaimed , presently , "[142-lucy] [I]0-i have seldom seen a stronger likeness ! [Graham]135-graham , have [you]135-graham observed it ? " "[135-graham] Observed what ? What ails [the Old Lady]283-the old lady now ? How [you]135-graham stare , [mamma]4272-mamma ! [One]607-one would think [you]135-graham had an attack of second sight . " "[607-one] Tell [me]0-i , [Graham]135-graham , of whom does [that young lady]4227-that young lady remind [you]135-graham ? " pointing to [me]135-graham . "[135-graham] [Mamma]150-mamma , [you]135-graham put [her]4227-that young lady out of countenance . [I]0-i often tell [you]135-graham abruptness is [your]135-graham fault ; remember , too , that to [you]135-graham [she]4227-that young lady is [a stranger]874-a stranger , and does not know [your]135-graham ways . " "[4227-that young lady] Now , when [she]4227-that young lady looks down ; now , when [she]4227-that young lady turns sideways , who is [she]4227-that young lady like , [Graham]135-graham ? " "[4227-that young lady] Indeed , [mamma]4272-mamma , since [you]135-graham propound the riddle , [I]0-i think [you]135-graham ought to solve it ! " "[135-graham] And [you]135-graham have known [her]4227-that young lady some time , [you]135-graham say - ever since [you]135-graham first began to attend [the school in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette]1857-the school in the rue fossette : - yet [you]135-graham never mentioned to [me]0-i that singular resemblance ! " "[135-graham] [I]0-i could not mention a thing of which [I]0-i never thought , and which [I]0-i do not now acknowledge . What can [you]135-graham mean ? " "[135-graham] [Stupid boy]1858-stupid boy ! look at [her]4227-that young lady . " [Graham]135-graham did look : but this was not to be endured ; [I]4227-that young lady saw how it must end , so [I]4227-that young lady thought it best to anticipate . "[4227-that young lady] [Dr. John]135-graham , " [I]135-graham said , "[135-graham] has had so much to do and think of , since [he]135-graham and [I]0-i shook hands at [our]1859-our last parting in [St. Ann 's Street]68-st. ann 's street , that , while [I]0-i readily found out [Mr. Graham Bretton]135-graham , some months ago , it never occurred to [me]0-i as possible that [he]135-graham should recognise [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy . " "[142-lucy] [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy ! [I]0-i thought so ! [I]0-i knew it ! " cried [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . And [she]4227-that young lady at once stepped across the hearth and kissed [me]150-mamma . [Some ladies]5641-some ladies would , perhaps , have made a great bustle upon such a discovery without being particularly glad of it ; but it was not [[my]150-mamma godmother]506-my godmother 's habit to make a bustle , and [she]4227-that young lady preferred all sentimental demonstrations in bas- relief . So [she]4227-that young lady and [I]150-mamma got over the surprise with few words and a single salute ; yet [I]150-mamma daresay [she]4227-that young lady was pleased , and [I]150-mamma know [I]150-mamma was . While [we]5643-we renewed old acquaintance , [Graham]135-graham , sitting opposite , silently disposed of [his]0-i paroxysm of astonishment . "[150-mamma] [Mamma]150-mamma calls [me]0-i [a stupid boy]1860-a stupid boy , and [I]0-i think [I]0-i am so , " at length [he]0-i said ; "[0-i] for , upon [my]0-i honour , often as [I]0-i have seen [you]1861-you , [I]0-i never once suspected this fact : and yet [I]0-i perceive it all now . [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy ! To be sure ! [I]0-i recollect [her]142-lucy perfectly , and there [she]142-lucy sits ; not a doubt of it . But , " [he]0-i added , "[1861-you] [you]1861-you surely have not known [me]0-i as [an old acquaintance]1862-an old acquaintance all this time , and never mentioned it . " "[1861-you] That [I]0-i have , " was [my]0-i answer . [Dr. John]135-graham commented not . [I]0-i supposed [he]135-graham regarded [my]0-i silence as eccentric , but [he]135-graham was indulgent in refraining from censure . [I]0-i daresay , too , [he]135-graham would have deemed it impertinent to have interrogated [me]0-i very closely , to have asked [me]0-i the why and wherefore of [my]0-i reserve ; and , though [he]135-graham might feel a little curious , the importance of the case was by no means such as to tempt curiosity to infringe on discretion . For [my]0-i part , [I]0-i just ventured to inquire whether [he]135-graham remembered the circumstance of [my]0-i once looking at [him]135-graham very fixedly ; for the slight annoyance [he]135-graham had betrayed on that occasion still lingered sore on [my]0-i mind . "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i do ! " said [he]135-graham : "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i was even cross with [you]1863-you . " "[0-i] [You]0-i considered [me]0-i a little bold ; perhaps ? " [I]0-i inquired . "[0-i] Not at all . Only , shy and retiring as [your]1863-you general manner was , [I]0-i wondered what personal or facial enormity in [me]0-i proved so magnetic to [your]1863-you usually averted eyes . " "[1863-you] [You]1863-you see how it was now ? " "[1863-you] Perfectly . " And here [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton broke in with many , many questions about past times ; and for [her]130-mrs. bretton satisfaction [I]1863-you had to recur to gone - by troubles , to explain causes of seeming estrangement , to touch on single - handed conflict with Life , with Death , with Grief , with Fate . [Dr. John]135-graham listened , saying little . [He]135-graham and [she]130-mrs. bretton then told [me]1863-you of changes [they]5644-they had known : even with [them]5644-they all had not gone smoothly , and fortune had retrenched [her]130-mrs. bretton once abundant gifts . But so courageous [a mother]4301-a mother , with such a champion in [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son , was well fitted to fight a good fight with [the world]811-the world , and to prevail ultimately . [Dr. John]135-graham [himself]135-graham was one of [those on whose birth benign planets]5648-those on whose birth benign planets have certainly smiled . Adversity might set against [him]135-graham [her]130-mrs. bretton most sullen front : [he]135-graham was the man to beat [her]130-mrs. bretton down with smiles . Strong and cheerful , and firm and courteous ; not rash , yet valiant ; [he]135-graham was the aspirant to woo [Destiny]235-destiny [herself]235-destiny , and to win from [her]130-mrs. bretton stone eyeballs a beam almost loving . In the profession [he]135-graham had adopted , [his]135-graham success was now quite decided . Within the last three months [he]135-graham had taken [this house]5145-this house [a small chateau]5650-a small chateau , [they]5651-they told [me]1863-you , about half a league without [the Porte de Crecy]5652-the porte de crecy ; [this country site]5653-this country site being chosen for the sake of [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's health , with which [town]4930-town air did not now agree . Hither [he]135-graham had invited [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , and [she]130-mrs. bretton , on leaving [England]19-england , had brought with [her]130-mrs. bretton such residue furniture of [the former St. Ann 's Street mansion]5656-the former st. ann 's street mansion as [she]130-mrs. bretton had thought fit to keep unsold . Hence [my]1863-you bewilderment at the phantoms of chairs , and the wraiths of looking - glasses , tea - urns , and teacups . As the clock struck eleven , [Dr. John]135-graham stopped [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother . "[1863-you] [Miss Snowe]142-lucy must retire now , " [he]135-graham said ; ' [she]142-lucy is beginning to look very pale . To - morrow [I]1864-i will venture to put some questions respecting the cause of [her]142-lucy loss of health . [She]142-lucy is much changed , indeed , since last July , when [I]1864-i saw [her]142-lucy enact with no little spirit the part of [a very killing fine gentleman]5658-a very killing fine gentleman . As to last night 's catastrophe , [I]1864-i am sure thereby hangs a tale , but [we]5659-we will inquire no further this evening . Good - night , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy . "[1864-i] And so [he]1864-i kindly led [me]0-i to the door , and holding a wax - candle , lighted [me]0-i up [the one flight of stairs]1865-the one flight of stairs . When [I]0-i had said [my]0-i prayers , and when [I]0-i was undressed and laid down , [I]0-i felt that [I]0-i still had [friends]533-friends . [Friends]533-friends , not professing vehement attachment , not offering the tender solace of well - matched and congenial relationship ; on [whom , therefore , but moderate demand of affection was to be made , of whom but moderate expectation formed]1868-whom , therefore , but moderate demand of affection was to be made , of whom but moderate expectation formed ; but towards whom [my]0-i heart softened instinctively , and yearned with an importunate gratitude , which [I]0-i entreated Reason betimes to check . " Do not let [me]0-i think of them too often , too much , too fondly , "[0-i] [I]0-i implored : " let [me]0-i be content with a temperate draught of [this living stream]5660-this living stream : let [me]0-i not run athirst , and apply passionately to its welcome waters : let [me]0-i not imagine in them a sweeter taste than earth 's fountains know . Oh ! would to [God]164-god [I]0-i may be enabled to feel enough sustained by an occasional , amicable intercourse , rare , brief , unengrossing and tranquil : quite tranquil ! "[0-i] Still repeating this word , [I]0-i turned to [my]0-i pillow ; and still repeating it , [I]0-i steeped that pillow with tears . CHAPTER XVII . LA TERRASSE . These struggles with the natural character , the strong native bent of the heart , may seem futile and fruitless , but in the end they do good . [They]1869-they tend , however slightly , to give the actions , the conduct , that turn which Reason approves , and which Feeling , perhaps , too often opposes : [they]1869-they certainly make a difference in the general tenour of a life , and enable it to be better regulated , more equable , quieter on the surface ; and it is on the surface only the common gaze will fall . As to what lies below , leave that with [God]164-god . [Man]618-man , [your]1871-your equal , weak as [you]1871-your , and not fit to be [[your]1871-your judge]1872-your judge , may be shut out thence : take it to [[your]1871-your Maker]1873-your maker - show [Him]1873-your maker the secrets of the spirit [He]1873-your maker gave - ask [Him]1873-your maker how [you]1871-your are to bear the pains [He]1873-your maker has appointed - kneel in [His]1873-your maker presence , and pray with faith for light in darkness , for strength in piteous weakness , for patience in extreme need . Certainly , at some hour , though perhaps not [your]1871-your hour , the waiting waters will stir ; in some shape , though perhaps not the shape [you]1871-your dreamed , which [your]1871-your heart loved , and for which it bled , [the healing herald]1874-the healing herald will descend , [the cripple and the blind]1875-the cripple and the blind , and the dumb , and the possessed will be led to bathe . [Herald]284-herald , come quickly ! [Thousands]1876-thousands lie round [the pool]1877-the pool , weeping and despairing , to see it , through slow years , stagnant . Long are the " times "[1878-angel messengers] of Heaven : the orbits of [angel messengers]1878-angel messengers seem wide to mortal vision ; [they]1878-angel messengers may enring ages : the cycle of one departure and return may clasp unnumbered generations ; and dust , kindling to brief suffering life , and through pain , passing back to dust , may meanwhile perish out of memory again , and yet again . To how [many maimed and mourning millions]1879-many maimed and mourning millions is [the first and sole angel visitant]1880-the first and sole angel visitant , [him]1881-him easterns call [Azrael]285-azrael ! [I]0-i tried to get up next morning , but while [I]0-i was dressing , and at intervals drinking cold water from the carafe on [my]0-i washstand , with design to brace up that trembling weakness which made dressing so difficult , in came [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . " Here is an absurdity ! "[130-mrs. bretton] was [her]130-mrs. bretton morning accost . " Not so , "[130-mrs. bretton] [she]130-mrs. bretton added , and dealing with [me]0-i at once in [her]130-mrs. bretton own brusque , energetic fashion - that fashion which [I]0-i used formerly to enjoy seeing applied to [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son , and by [him]532-her son vigorously resisted - in two minutes [she]130-mrs. bretton consigned [me]0-i captive to the French bed . " There [you]0-i lie till afternoon , "[130-mrs. bretton] said [she]130-mrs. bretton . " [[My]130-mrs. bretton boy]693-my boy left orders before [he]532-her son went out that such should be the case , and [I]130-mrs. bretton can assure [you]0-i [[my]130-mrs. bretton son]1825-my son is [master]5663-master and must be obeyed . Presently [you]0-i shall have breakfast . "[130-mrs. bretton] Presently [she]130-mrs. bretton brought that meal - brought it with [her]130-mrs. bretton own active hands - not leaving [me]0-i to [servants]1062-servants . [She]130-mrs. bretton seated [herself]130-mrs. bretton on the bed while [I]0-i ate . Now it is not [everybody]4957-everybody , even amongst [[our]1885-we respected friends and esteemed acquaintance , whom [we]1885-we like to have near [us]1885-we , whom [we]1885-we like to watch [us]1885-we , to wait on [us]1885-we , to approach [us]1885-we with the proximity of [a nurse]886-a nurse to [a patient]1888-a patient]1886-our respected friends and esteemed acquaintance , whom we like to have near us , whom we like to watch us , to wait on us , to approach us with the proximity of a nurse to a patient . It is not [every friend whose eye is a light in a sick room]1889-every friend whose eye is a light in a sick room , whose presence is there a solace : but all this was [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton to [me]0-i ; all this [she]130-mrs. bretton had ever been . Food or drink never pleased [me]0-i so well as when it came through [her]130-mrs. bretton hands . [I]0-i do not remember the occasion when [her]130-mrs. bretton entrance into [a room]612-a room had not made [that room]613-that room cheerier . [Our]1885-we natures own predilections and antipathies alike strange . There are people from whom [we]1885-we secretly shrink , whom [we]1885-we would personally avoid , though reason confesses that [they]1892-they are [good people]1789-good people : there are [others with faults of temper]1894-others with faults of temper , c. , evident enough , beside whom [we]1885-we live content , as if the air about [them]1894-others with faults of temper did [us]1885-we good . [[My]0-i godmother]506-my godmother 's lively black eye and clear brunette cheek , [her]506-my godmother warm , prompt hand , [her]506-my godmother self- reliant mood , [her]506-my godmother decided bearing , were all beneficial to [me]0-i as the atmosphere of some salubrious climate . [[Her]506-my godmother son]532-her son used to call [her]506-my godmother " [the old lady]1842-the old lady ; "[532-her son] it filled [me]0-i with pleasant wonder to note how the alacrity and power of five - and - twenty still breathed from [her]506-my godmother and around [her]506-my godmother . " [I]506-my godmother would bring [my]506-my godmother work [here]4212-here , "[506-my godmother] [she]506-my godmother said , as [she]506-my godmother took from [me]0-i the emptied teacup , " and sit with [you]0-i the whole day , if that overbearing [John Graham]135-graham had not put [his]135-graham veto upon such a proceeding . ' Now , [mamma]4272-mamma , ' [he]135-graham said , when [he]135-graham went out , ' take notice , [you]4272-mamma are not to knock up [[your]4272-mamma god - daughter]5667-your god - daughter with gossip , ' and [he]135-graham particularly desired [me]506-my godmother to keep close to [[my]506-my godmother own quarters]5668-my own quarters , and spare [you]4272-mamma [my]506-my godmother fine company . [He]135-graham says , [Lucy]142-lucy , [he]135-graham thinks [you]4272-mamma have had a nervous fever , judging from [your]4272-mamma look , - is that so ? "[506-my godmother] [I]0-i replied that [I]0-i did not quite know what [my]0-i ailment had been , but that [I]0-i had certainly suffered a good deal especially in mind . Further , on this subject , [I]0-i did not consider it advisable to dwell , for the details of what [I]0-i had undergone belonged to a portion of [my]0-i existence in which [I]0-i never expected [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother to take a share . Into what [a new region]1898-a new region would such a confidence have led that hale , serene nature ! The difference between [her]506-my godmother and [me]0-i might be figured by that between the stately ship cruising safe on [smooth seas]1899-smooth seas , with [[its]1900-its full complement of [crew]1902-crew]1901-its full complement of crew , [a captain gay and brave , and venturous and provident]1903-a captain gay and brave , and venturous and provident ; and [the life - boat]1904-the life - boat , which most days of the year lies dry and solitary in [an old , dark boat - house]1905-an old , dark boat - house , only putting to [sea]5222-sea when the billows run high in rough weather , when cloud encounters water , when danger and death divide between [them]1907-them the rule of [the great deep]1908-the great deep . No , [the " Louisa Bretton]5669-the " louisa bretton "[5669-the " louisa bretton] never was out of harbour on such a night , and in such a scene : [[her]506-my godmother crew]1909-her crew could not conceive it ; so [the half - drowned life - boat man]1910-the half - drowned life - boat man keeps [his]1910-the half - drowned life - boat man own counsel , and spins no yarns . [She]506-my godmother left [me]0-i , and [I]0-i lay in bed content : it was good of [Graham]135-graham to remember [me]0-i before [he]135-graham went out . [My]0-i day was lonely , but the prospect of coming evening abridged and cheered it . Then , too , [I]0-i felt weak , and rest seemed welcome ; and after the morning hours were gone by , - those hours which always bring , even to the necessarily unoccupied , a sense of business to be done , of tasks waiting fulfilment , a vague impression of obligation to be employed - when this stirring time was past , and the silent descent of afternoon hushed housemaid steps on the stairs and in [the chambers]1911-the chambers , [I]0-i then passed into a dreamy mood , not unpleasant . [[My]0-i calm little room]1912-my calm little room seemed somehow like [a cave in [the sea]725-the sea]1913-a cave in the sea . There was no colour about [it]1912-my calm little room , except that white and pale green , suggestive of foam and [deep water]1915-deep water ; the blanched cornice was adorned with shell- shaped ornaments , and there were white mouldings like dolphins in the ceiling - angles . Even that one touch of colour visible in the red satin pincushion bore affinity to coral ; even that dark , shining glass might have mirrored [a mermaid]1916-a mermaid . When [I]0-i closed [my]0-i eyes , [I]0-i heard a gale , subsiding at last , bearing upon [the house]518-the house - front like a settling swell upon a rock - base . [I]0-i heard it drawn and withdrawn far , far off , like a tide retiring from [a shore of [the upper world]1919-the upper world]1918-a shore of the upper world - [a world so high above that the rush of its largest waves , the dash of its fiercest breakers]1920-a world so high above that the rush of its largest waves , the dash of its fiercest breakers , could sound down in [this submarine home]1921-this submarine home , only like murmurs and a lullaby . Amidst these dreams came evening , and then [Martha]286-martha brought a light ; with [her]286-martha aid [I]0-i was quickly dressed , and stronger now than in the morning , [I]0-i made [my]0-i way down to [the blue saloon unassisted]1922-the blue saloon unassisted . [Dr. John]135-graham , it appears , had concluded [his]135-graham round of professional calls earlier than usual ; [his]135-graham form was the first object that met [my]0-i eyes as [I]0-i entered [the parlour]1923-the parlour ; [he]135-graham stood in that window - recess opposite the door , reading the close type of a newspaper by such dull light as closing day yet gave . The fire shone clear , but the lamp stood on the table unlit , and tea was not yet brought up . As to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , [[my]0-i active godmother]1924-my active godmother - who , [I]0-i afterwards found , had been out in the open air all day - lay half - reclined in [her]130-mrs. bretton deep- cushioned chair , actually lost in a nap . [[Her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son seeing [me]0-i , came forward . [I]0-i noticed that [he]532-her son trod carefully , not to wake [the sleeper]1926-the sleeper ; [he]532-her son also spoke low : [his]532-her son mellow voice never had any sharpness in it ; modulated as at present , it was calculated rather to soothe than startle slumber . " This is [a quiet little chateau]5670-a quiet little chateau , "[532-her son] [he]532-her son observed , after inviting [me]0-i to sit near [the casement]1927-the casement . " [I]532-her son do n't know whether [you]0-i may have noticed it in [your]0-i walks : though , indeed , from [the chaussee]5671-the chaussee [it]5670-a quiet little chateau is not visible ; just a mile beyond [the Porte de Crecy]69-the porte de crecy , [you]0-i turn down [a lane which soon becomes an avenue]5672-a lane which soon becomes an avenue , and that leads [you]0-i on , through [meadow and shade]5673-meadow and shade , to the very door of [this house]5145-this house . [It]5145-this house is not [a modern place , but built somewhat in the old style of [the Basse - Ville]5676-the basse - ville]5675-a modern place , but built somewhat in the old style of the basse - ville . It is rather [a manoir]5677-a manoir than [a chateau]5678-a chateau ; [they]5679-they call [it]5145-this house ' [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse , ' because [its]5145-this house front rises from [a broad turfed walk]5680-a broad turfed walk , whence steps lead down a grassy slope to [the avenue]5681-the avenue . See yonder ! The moon rises : [she]1928-she looks well through the tree- boles . "[532-her son] Where , indeed , does the moon not look well ? What is the scene , confined or expansive , which [her]1928-she orb does not hallow ? Rosy or fiery , [she]1928-she mounted now above [a not distant bank]1929-a not distant bank ; even while [we]1930-we watched [her]1928-she flushed ascent , [she]1928-she cleared to gold , and in very brief space , floated up stainless into a now calm sky . Did moonlight soften or sadden [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ? Did it touch [him]1931-he with romance ? [I]0-i think it did . [Albeit]287-albeit of no sighing mood , [he]1931-he sighed in watching it : sighed to [himself]1931-he quietly . No need to ponder the cause or the course of that sigh ; [I]0-i knew it was wakened by beauty ; [I]0-i knew it pursued [Ginevra]179-ginevra . Knowing this , the idea pressed upon [me]0-i that it was in some sort [my]0-i duty to speak the name [he]1931-he meditated . Of course [he]1931-he was ready for the subject : [I]0-i saw in [his]1931-he countenance a teeming plenitude of comment , question and interest ; a pressure of language and sentiment , only checked , [I]0-i thought , by sense of embarrassment how to begin . To spare [him]1931-he this embarrassment was [my]0-i best , indeed [my]0-i sole use . [I]0-i had but to utter [the idol]1932-the idol 's name , and love 's tender litany would flow out . [I]0-i had just found a fitting phrase , " [You]5682-you know that [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra is gone on a tour with [the Cholmondeleys]288-the cholmondeleys , "[0-i] and was opening [my]0-i lips to speak to it , when [he]1931-he scattered [my]0-i plans by introducing another theme . " The first thing this morning , "[1931-he] said [he]1931-he , putting [his]1931-he sentiment in [his]1931-he pocket , turning from the moon , and sitting down , " [I]1931-he went to [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette , and told [the cuisiniere]5684-the cuisiniere that [you]5682-you were safe and in good hands . Do [you]5682-you know that [I]1931-he actually found that [she]5684-the cuisiniere had not yet discovered [your]5682-you absence from [the house]518-the house : [she]5684-the cuisiniere thought [you]5682-you safe in [the great dormitory]5533-the great dormitory . With what care [you]5682-you must have been waited on ! "[1931-he] " Oh ! all that is very conceivable , "[0-i] said [I.]0-i " [Goton]276-goton could do nothing for [me]0-i but bring [me]0-i a little tisane and a crust of bread , and [I]0-i had rejected both so often during the past week , that [the good woman]5687-the good woman got tired of useless journeys from [the dwelling - house kitchen]5688-the dwelling - house kitchen to [the school - dormitory]5689-the school - dormitory , and only came once a day at noon to make [my]0-i bed . [I]0-i believe , however , that [she]5687-the good woman is a good - natured creature , and would have been delighted to cook [me]0-i cotelettes de mouton , if [I]0-i could have eaten them . "[0-i] " What did [Madame Beck]190-madame mean by leaving [you]5682-you alone ? "[1931-he] " [Madame Beck]190-madame could not foresee that [I]1931-he should fall ill . "[1931-he] " [Your]5682-you nervous system bore a good share of the suffering ? "[1931-he] " [I]1931-he am not quite sure what [my]1931-he nervous system is , but [I]1931-he was dreadfully low - spirited . "[1931-he] " Which disables [me]1931-he from helping [you]5682-you by pill or potion . Medicine can give [nobody]4256-nobody good spirits . [My]1931-he art halts at the threshold of Hypochondria : [she]5687-the good woman just looks in and sees a chamber of torture , but can neither say nor do much . [Cheerful society]5691-cheerful society would be of use ; [you]5682-you should be as little alone as possible ; [you]5682-you should take plenty of exercise . "[1931-he] Acquiescence and a pause followed these remarks . They sounded all right , [I]0-i thought , and bore the safe sanction of custom , and the well- worn stamp of use . " [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , "[1931-he] recommenced [Dr. John]135-graham - [my]0-i health , nervous system included , being now , somewhat to [my]0-i relief , discussed and done with - " is it permitted [me]0-i to ask what [your]142-lucy religion is ? Are [you]142-lucy [a Catholic]5692-a catholic ? "[0-i] [I]0-i looked up in some surprise - " [A Catholic]5692-a catholic ? No ! Why suggest such an idea ? "[0-i] " The manner in which [you]142-lucy were consigned to [me]0-i last night made [me]0-i doubt . "[0-i] " [I]0-i consigned to [you]142-lucy ? But , indeed , [I]0-i forget . It yet remains for [me]0-i to learn how [I]0-i fell into [your]142-lucy hands . "[0-i] " Why , under circumstances that puzzled [me]1937-i . [I]1937-i had been in attendance all day yesterday on a case of singularly interesting and critical character ; the disease being rare , and its treatment doubtful : [I]1937-i saw a similar and still finer case in [a hospital in [Paris]59-paris]5694-a hospital in paris ; but that will not interest [you]142-lucy . At last a mitigation of [the patient]1269-the patient 's most urgent symptoms acute pain is one of its accompaniments liberated [me]1937-i , and [I]1937-i set out homeward . [My]1937-i shortest way lay through [the Basse - Ville]5676-the basse - ville , and as the night was excessively dark , wild , and wet , [I]1937-i took it . In riding past [an old church]5697-an old church belonging to [a community of [Beguines]71-beguines]5698-a community of beguines , [I]1937-i saw by a lamp burning over [the porch]5699-the porch or deep arch of the entrance , [a priest]5700-a priest lifting some object in [his]5700-a priest arms . The lamp was bright enough to reveal [the priest]4890-the priest 's features clearly , and [I]1937-i recognised [him]5700-a priest ; [he]5700-a priest was [a man [I]1937-i have often met by [the sick beds of [both rich and poor]5704-both rich and poor]5703-the sick beds of both rich and poor]5702-a man i have often met by the sick beds of both rich and poor : and chiefly the latter . [He]5700-a priest is , [I]1937-i think , [a good old man]5705-a good old man , far better than [most of [his]5700-a priest class]5706-most of his class in [this country]1824-this country ; superior , indeed , in every way , better informed , as well as more devoted to duty . [Our]5708-our eyes met ; [he]1937-i called on [me]1937-i to stop : what [he]1937-i supported was [a woman]4363-a woman , fainting or dying . [I]1937-i alighted . "[1937-i] ' [This person]784-this person is [one of [[your]1935-you countrywomen]1936-your countrywomen]1934-one of your countrywomen , ' [he]1937-i said : ' save [her]784-this person , if [she]784-this person is not dead . ' " [[My]1937-i countrywoman]5710-my countrywoman , on examination , turned out to be [the English teacher at [Madame Beck 's pensionnat]190-madame]5711-the english teacher at madame beck 's pensionnat . [She]784-this person was perfectly unconscious , perfectly bloodless , and nearly cold . "[1937-i] ' What does it all mean ? ' was [my]0-i inquiry . " [He]1937-i communicated a curious account ; that [you]1935-you had been to [him]1937-i that evening at confessional ; that [your]1935-you exhausted and suffering appearance , coupled with some things [you]1935-you had said - "[1937-i] " Things [I]1937-i had said ? [I]1937-i wonder what things ! "[1937-i] " Awful crimes , no doubt ; but [he]1937-i did not tell [me]1937-i what : there , [you]1935-you know , the seal of [the confessional]5712-the confessional checked [his]1937-i garrulity , and [my]1937-i curiosity . [Your]1935-you confidences , however , had not made [an enemy of [the good father]5714-the good father]5713-an enemy of the good father ; it seems [he]1937-i was so struck , and felt so sorry that [you]1935-you should [he]1937-i out on such a night alone , that [he]1937-i had esteemed it a Christian duty to watch [you]1935-you when [you]1935-you quitted [the church]5217-the church , and so to manage as not to lose sight of [you]1935-you , till [you]1935-you should have reached [home]542-home . Perhaps [the worthy man]5717-the worthy man might , half unconsciously , have blent in this proceeding some little of the subtlety of [his]5717-the worthy man class : it might have been [his]5717-the worthy man resolve to learn the locality of [[your]1935-you home]4385-your home - did [you]1935-you impart that in [your]1935-you confession ? "[1937-i] " [I]1937-i did not : on the contrary , [I]1937-i carefully avoided the shadow of any indication : and as to [my]1937-i confession , [Dr. John]135-graham , [I]1937-i suppose [you]135-graham will think [me]1937-i mad for taking such a step , but [I]1937-i could not help it : [I]1937-i suppose it was all the fault of what [you]135-graham call [my]1937-i ' nervous system . ' [I]1937-i can not put the case into words , but [my]1937-i days and nights were grown intolerable : a cruel sense of desolation pained [my]1937-i mind : a feeling that would make its way , rush out , or kill [me]1937-i - like and this [you]135-graham will understand , [Dr. John]135-graham the current which passes through the heart , and which , if aneurism or any other morbid cause obstructs its natural channels , seeks abnormal outlet . [I]1937-i wanted companionship , [I]1937-i wanted friendship , [I]1937-i wanted counsel . [I]1937-i could find none of these in [closet]5719-closet or [chamber]5720-chamber , so [I]1937-i went and sought them in [church]4353-church and [confessional]5722-confessional . As to what [I]1937-i said , it was no confidence , no narrative . [I]1937-i have done nothing wrong : [my]1937-i life has not been active enough for any dark deed , either of romance or reality : all [I]1937-i poured out was a dreary , desperate complaint . "[1937-i] " [Lucy]142-lucy , [you]142-lucy ought to travel for about six months : why , [your]142-lucy calm nature is growing quite excitable ! Confound [Madame Beck]190-madame ! Has [the little buxom widow]5723-the little buxom widow no bowels , to condemn [[her]5723-the little buxom widow best teacher]5724-her best teacher to solitary confinement ? "[1937-i] " It was not [Madame Beck]190-madame 's fault , "[0-i] said [I]0-i ; " it is no living being 's fault , and [I]0-i wo n't hear [any one]1135-any one blamed . "[0-i] " Who is in the wrong , then , [Lucy]142-lucy ? "[1937-i] " [Me]1937-i - [Dr. John]135-graham - [me]1937-i ; and a great abstraction on whose wide shoulders [I]1937-i like to lay the mountains of blame [they]5726-they were sculptured to bear : [me]1937-i and [Fate]159-fate . "[1937-i] " ' [Me]135-graham ' must take better care in future , "[135-graham] said [Dr. John]135-graham - smiling , [I]0-i suppose , at [my]0-i bad grammar . " Change of air - change of scene ; those are [my]1938-the practical young doctor prescriptions , "[1938-the practical young doctor] pursued [the practical young doctor]1938-the practical young doctor . " But to return to [our]5727-our muttons , [Lucy]142-lucy . As yet , [Pere Silas]289-pere silas , with all [his]289-pere silas tact [they]5726-they say [he]289-pere silas is [a Jesuit]5728-a jesuit , is no wiser than [you]142-lucy choose [him]289-pere silas to be ; for , instead of returning to [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette , [your]142-lucy fevered wanderings - there must have been high fever - "[1938-the practical young doctor] " No , [Dr. John]135-graham : the fever took its turn that night - now , do n't make out that [I]1937-i was delirious , for [I]1937-i know differently . "[1937-i] " Good ! [you]142-lucy were as collected as [myself]1938-the practical young doctor at this moment , no doubt . [Your]142-lucy wanderings had taken an opposite direction to [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat . Near [the Beguinage]5730-the beguinage , amidst the stress of flood and gust , and in the perplexity of darkness , [you]142-lucy had swooned and fallen . [The priest]4890-the priest came to [your]142-lucy succour , and [the physician]1265-the physician , as [we]5733-we have seen , supervened . Between [us]5733-we [we]5733-we procured a fiacre and brought [you]142-lucy [here]4212-here . [Pere Silas]289-pere silas , old as [he]289-pere silas is , would carry [you]142-lucy up [- stairs]5735-- stairs , and lay [you]142-lucy on that couch [himself]289-pere silas . [He]289-pere silas would certainly have remained with [you]142-lucy till suspended animation had been restored : and so should [I]1938-the practical young doctor , but , at that juncture , [a hurried messenger]5736-a hurried messenger arrived from [the dying patient]5737-the dying patient [I]1938-the practical young doctor had scarcely left - the last duties were called for - [the physician]1265-the physician 's last visit and [the priest]4890-the priest 's last rite ; extreme unction could not be deferred . [Pere Silas]289-pere silas and [myself]1938-the practical young doctor departed together , [[my]1938-the practical young doctor mother]4268-my mother was spending the evening abroad ; [we]5741-we gave [you]142-lucy in charge to [Martha]286-martha , leaving directions , which it seems [she]286-martha followed successfully . Now , are [you]142-lucy [a Catholic]5692-a catholic ? "[1938-the practical young doctor] " Not yet , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , with a smile . " And never let [Pere Silas]289-pere silas know where [I]0-i live , or [he]289-pere silas will try to convert [me]0-i ; but give [him]289-pere silas [my]0-i best and truest thanks when [you]142-lucy see [him]289-pere silas , and if ever [I]0-i get rich [I]0-i will send [him]289-pere silas money for [his]289-pere silas charities . See , [Dr. John]135-graham , [[your]135-graham mother]4274-your mother wakes ; [you]135-graham ought to ring for tea . "[0-i] Which [he]1939-he did ; and , as [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton sat up - astonished and indignant at [herself]130-mrs. bretton for the indulgence to which [she]130-mrs. bretton had succumbed , and fully prepared to deny that [she]130-mrs. bretton had slept at all - [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son came gaily to the attack . " [Hushaby]290-hushaby , [mamma]4272-mamma ! Sleep again . [You]4272-mamma look the picture of innocence in [your]4272-mamma slumbers . "[532-her son] " [My]130-mrs. bretton slumbers , [John Graham]135-graham ! What are [you]135-graham talking about ? [You]135-graham know [I]130-mrs. bretton never do sleep by day : it was the slightest doze possible . "[130-mrs. bretton] " Exactly ! [a seraph]5745-a seraph 's gentle lapse - a fairy 's dream . [Mamma]150-mamma , under such circumstances , [you]4272-mamma always remind [me]130-mrs. bretton of [Titania]291-titania . "[130-mrs. bretton] " That is because [you]4272-mamma , [yourself]4272-mamma , are so like [Bottom]292-bottom . "[532-her son] " [Miss Snowe]142-lucy - did [you]135-graham ever hear anything like [mamma]150-mamma 's wit ? [She]150-mamma is [a most sprightly woman of [her]150-mamma size and age]5746-a most sprightly woman of her size and age . "[130-mrs. bretton] " Keep [your]135-graham compliments to [yourself]135-graham , [sir]976-sir , and do not neglect [your]135-graham own size : which seems to [me]130-mrs. bretton a good deal on the increase . [Lucy]142-lucy , has [he]976-sir not rather the air of [an incipient John Bull]5748-an incipient john bull ? [He]976-sir used to be slender as an eel , and now [I]130-mrs. bretton fancy in [him]976-sir [a sort of heavy dragoon bent - a beef - eater tendency]5749-a sort of heavy dragoon bent - a beef - eater tendency . [Graham]135-graham , take notice ! If [you]135-graham grow fat [I]130-mrs. bretton disown [you]135-graham . "[130-mrs. bretton] " As if [you]135-graham could not sooner disown [your]135-graham own personality ! [I]130-mrs. bretton am indispensable to [the old lady]1842-the old lady 's happiness , [Lucy]142-lucy . [She]1842-the old lady would pine away in green and yellow melancholy if [she]1842-the old lady had not [my]130-mrs. bretton six feet of iniquity to scold . It keeps [her]1842-the old lady lively - it maintains the wholesome ferment of [her]1842-the old lady spirits . "[130-mrs. bretton] [The two]4317-the two were now standing opposite to [each other]4318-each other , one on each side [the fire - place]1943-the fire - place ; [their]4317-the two words were not very fond , but [their]4317-the two mutual looks atoned for verbal deficiencies . At least , the best treasure of [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's life was certainly casketed in [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son 's bosom ; [her]130-mrs. bretton dearest pulse throbbed in [his]532-her son heart . As to [him]532-her son , of course another love shared [his]532-her son feelings with filial love , and , no doubt , as the new passion was the latest born , so [he]532-her son assigned it in [his]532-her son emotions [Benjamin]293-benjamin 's portion . [Ginevra]179-ginevra ! [Ginevra]179-ginevra ! Did [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton yet know at whose feet [[her]130-mrs. bretton own young idol]1945-her own young idol had laid [his]532-her son homage ? Would [she]130-mrs. bretton approve that choice ? [I]0-i could not tell ; but [I]0-i could well guess that if [she]130-mrs. bretton knew [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's conduct towards [Graham]135-graham : [her]130-mrs. bretton alternations between coldness and coaxing , and repulse and allurement ; if [she]130-mrs. bretton could at all suspect the pain with which [she]130-mrs. bretton had tried [him]135-graham ; if [she]130-mrs. bretton could have seen , as [I]0-i had seen , [his]135-graham fine spirits subdued and harassed , [[his]135-graham inferior]1946-his inferior preferred before [him]135-graham , [[his]135-graham subordinate]1947-his subordinate made the instrument of [his]135-graham humiliation - then [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton would have pronounced [Ginevra]179-ginevra imbecile , or perverted , or both . Well - [I]0-i thought so too . That second evening passed as sweetly as the first - more sweetly indeed : [we]1948-we enjoyed a smoother interchange of thought ; old troubles were not reverted to , acquaintance was better cemented ; [I]0-i felt happier , easier , more at [home]542-home . That night - instead of crying [myself]0-i asleep - [I]0-i went down to dreamland by [a pathway bordered with pleasant thoughts]1950-a pathway bordered with pleasant thoughts . CHAPTER XVIII . [WE]1948-we QUARREL . During the first days of [my]0-i stay at [the Terrace]1951-the terrace , [Graham]135-graham never took a seat near [me]0-i , or in [his]135-graham frequent pacing of [the room]600-the room approached the quarter where [I]0-i sat , or looked pre - occupied , or more grave than usual , but [I]0-i thought of [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra and expected [her]179-ginevra name to leap from [his]135-graham lips . [I]0-i kept [my]0-i ear and mind in perpetual readiness for the tender theme ; [my]0-i patience was ordered to be permanently under arms , and [my]0-i sympathy desired to keep its cornucopia replenished and ready for outpouring . At last , and after a little inward struggle , which [I]0-i saw and respected , [he]135-graham one day launched into the topic . It was introduced delicately ; anonymously as it were . " [[Your]0-i friend]5751-your friend is spending [her]5751-your friend vacation in travelling , [I]135-graham hear ? "[135-graham] " [Friend]5752-friend , forsooth ! "[0-i] thought [I]0-i to [myself]0-i : but it would not do to contradict ; [he]135-graham must have [his]135-graham own way ; [I]0-i must own the soft impeachment : [friend]5752-friend let it be . Still , by way of experiment , [I]0-i could not help asking whom [he]135-graham meant ? [He]135-graham had taken a seat at [my]0-i work - table ; [he]135-graham now laid hands on a reel of thread which [he]135-graham proceeded recklessly to unwind . " [Ginevra]179-ginevra - [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , has accompanied [the Cholmondeleys]288-the cholmondeleys on a tour through [the south of [France]15-france]5753-the south of france ? "[135-graham] " [She]179-ginevra has . "[135-graham] " Do [you]135-graham and [she]179-ginevra correspond ? "[135-graham] " It will astonish [you]135-graham to hear that [I]135-graham never once thought of making application for that privilege . "[135-graham] " [You]135-graham have seen letters of [her]179-ginevra writing ? "[135-graham] " Yes ; several to [[her]179-ginevra uncle]4934-her uncle . "[135-graham] " [They]5755-they will not be deficient in wit and naivete ; there is so much sparkle , and so little art in [her]179-ginevra soul ? "[135-graham] " [She]179-ginevra writes comprehensively enough when [she]179-ginevra writes to [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre : [he]178-m. de bassompierre who runs may read . "[135-graham] In fact , [Ginevra]179-ginevra 's epistles to [[her]179-ginevra wealthy kinsman]1954-her wealthy kinsman were commonly business documents , unequivocal applications for cash . " And [her]179-ginevra handwriting ? It must be pretty , light , ladylike , [I]135-graham should think ? "[135-graham] It was , and [I]0-i said so . " [I]135-graham verily believe that all [she]179-ginevra does is well done , "[135-graham] said [Dr. John]135-graham ; and as [I]0-i seemed in no hurry to chime in with this remark , [he]135-graham added " [You]0-i , who know [her]179-ginevra , could [you]0-i name a point in which [she]179-ginevra is deficient ? "[135-graham] " [She]179-ginevra does several things very well . "[135-graham] " Flirtation amongst the rest , "[0-i] subjoined [I]0-i , in thought . " When do [you]0-i suppose [she]179-ginevra will return to [town]4930-town ? "[135-graham] [he]135-graham soon inquired . " Pardon [me]135-graham , [Dr. John]135-graham , [I]135-graham must explain . [You]135-graham honour [me]135-graham too much in ascribing to [me]135-graham a degree of intimacy with [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra [I]135-graham have not the felicity to enjoy . [I]135-graham have never been [the depositary of [her]179-ginevra plans and secrets]5757-the depositary of her plans and secrets . [You]135-graham will find [[her]179-ginevra particular friends]5758-her particular friends in another sphere than [mine]135-graham : amongst [the Cholmondeleys]288-the cholmondeleys , for instance . "[135-graham] [He]135-graham actually thought [I]0-i was stung with a kind of jealous pain similar to [his]135-graham own ! " Excuse [her]179-ginevra , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham said ; " judge [her]179-ginevra indulgently ; the glitter of fashion misleads [her]179-ginevra , but [she]179-ginevra will soon find out that [these people]4232-these people are hollow , and will return to [you]135-graham with augmented attachment and confirmed trust . [I]135-graham know something of [the Cholmondeleys]288-the cholmondeleys : [superficial , showy , selfish people]5760-superficial , showy , selfish people ; depend on it , at heart [Ginevra]179-ginevra values [you]135-graham beyond a score of such . "[135-graham] " [You]135-graham are very kind , "[0-i] [I]0-i said briefly . A disclaimer of the sentiments attributed to [me]0-i burned on [my]0-i lips , but [I]0-i extinguished the flame . [I]0-i submitted to be looked upon as [the humiliated , cast - off , and now pining confidante of [the distinguished Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra]1955-the humiliated , cast - off , and now pining confidante of the distinguished miss fanshawe : but , [reader]4604-reader , it was a hard submission . " Yet , [you]135-graham see , "[135-graham] continued [Graham]135-graham , " while [I]135-graham comfort [you]135-graham , [I]135-graham can not take the same consolation to [myself]135-graham ; [I]135-graham can not hope [she]179-ginevra will do [me]135-graham justice . [De Hamal]271-de hamal is most worthless , yet [I]135-graham fear [he]5761-he pleases [her]179-ginevra : wretched delusion ! "[135-graham] [My]0-i patience really gave way , and without notice : all at once . [I]0-i suppose illness and weakness had worn it and made it brittle . " [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , "[0-i] [I]0-i broke out , " there is no delusion like [your]135-graham own . On all points but one [you]135-graham are [a man]823-a man , frank , healthful , right - thinking , clear - sighted : on this exceptional point [you]135-graham are but [a slave]5763-a slave . [I]0-i declare , where [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra is concerned , [you]135-graham merit no respect ; nor have [you]135-graham mine . "[0-i] [I]0-i got up , and left [the room]600-the room very much excited . This little scene took place in the morning ; [I]0-i had to meet [him]1958-his again in the evening , and then [I]0-i saw [I]0-i had done mischief . [He]1958-his was not made of common clay , not put together out of vulgar materials ; while the outlines of [his]1958-his nature had been shaped with breadth and vigour , the details embraced workmanship of almost feminine delicacy : finer , much finer , than [you]1959-you could be prepared to meet with ; than [you]1959-you could believe inherent in [him]1958-his , even after years of acquaintance . Indeed , till some over - sharp contact with [his]1958-his nerves had betrayed , by its effects , [their]1960-their acute sensibility , this elaborate construction must be ignored ; and the more especially because the sympathetic faculty was not prominent in [him]1958-his : to feel , and to seize quickly another 's feelings , are separate properties ; a few constructions possess both , some neither . [Dr. John]135-graham had [the one in exquisite perfection]1961-the one in exquisite perfection ; and because [I]0-i have admitted that [he]1958-his was not endowed with the other in equal degree , [the reader]759-the reader will considerately refrain from passing to an extreme , and pronouncing [him]1958-his un sympathizing , unfeeling : on the contrary , [he]1958-his was [a kind , generous man]1963-a kind , generous man . Make [your]1959-you need known , [his]1958-his hand was open . Put [your]1959-you grief into words , [he]1958-his turned no deaf ear . Expect refinements of perception , miracles of intuition , and realize disappointment . This night , when [Dr. John]135-graham entered [the room]600-the room , and met the evening lamp , [I]0-i saw well and at one glance [his]1958-his whole mechanism . To one who had named [him]1958-his ' [slave]1965-slave , " and , on any point , banned [him]1958-his from respect , [he]1958-his must now have peculiar feelings . That the epithet was well applied , and the ban just , might be ; [he]1958-his put forth no denial that it was so : [his]1958-his mind even candidly revolved that unmanning possibility . [He]1958-his sought in this accusation the cause of that ill - success which had got so galling a hold on [his]1958-his mental peace : Amid the worry of a self- condemnatory soliloquy , [his]1958-his demeanour seemed grave , perhaps cold , both to [me]142-lucy and [[his]1958-his mother]534-his mother . And yet there was no bad feeling , no malice , no rancour , no littleness in [his]1958-his countenance , beautiful with [a man]823-a man 's best beauty , even in its depression . When [I]142-lucy placed [his]1958-his chair at the table , which [I]142-lucy hastened to do , anticipating [the servant]5766-the servant , and when [I]142-lucy handed [him]1958-his [his]1958-his tea , which [I]142-lucy did with trembling care , [he]1958-his said : "[142-lucy] Thank [you]1966-i , [Lucy]142-lucy , " in as kindly a tone of [his]1958-his full pleasant voice as ever [my]1966-i ear welcomed . For [my]1966-i part , there was only one plan to be pursued ; [I]1966-i must expiate [my]1966-i culpable vehemence , or [I]1966-i must not sleep that night . This would not do at all ; [I]1966-i could not stand it : [I]1966-i made no pretence of capacity to wage war on this footing . School solitude , conventual silence and stagnation , anything seemed preferable to living embroiled with [Dr. John]135-graham . As to [Ginevra]179-ginevra , [she]179-ginevra might take the silver wings of a dove , or any other fowl that flies , and mount straight up to the highest place , among the highest stars , where [[her]179-ginevra lover]5767-her lover 's highest flight of fancy chose to fix the constellation of [her]179-ginevra charms : never more be it [mine]142-lucy to dispute the arrangement . Long [I]1966-i tried to catch [his]1958-his eye . Again and again that eye just met [mine]1966-i ; but , having nothing to say , it withdrew , and [I]1966-i was baffled . After tea , [he]1958-his sat , sad and quiet , reading a book . [I]1966-i wished [I]1966-i could have dared to go and sit near [him]1958-his , but it seemed that if [I]1966-i ventured to take that step , [he]1958-his would infallibly evince hostility and indignation . [I]1966-i longed to speak out , and [I]1966-i dared not whisper . [[His]1958-his mother]534-his mother left [the room]600-the room ; then , moved by insupportable regret , [I]1966-i just murmured the words "[1966-i] [Dr. Bretton]135-graham . " [He]1958-his looked up from [his]1958-his book ; [his]1958-his eyes were not cold or malevolent , [his]1958-his mouth was not cynical ; [he]1958-his was ready and willing to hear what [I]135-graham might have to say : [his]1958-his spirit was of vintage too mellow and generous to sour in one thunder - clap . "[135-graham] [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , forgive [my]0-i hasty words : do , do forgive them . " [He]1958-his smiled that moment [I]135-graham spoke . "[135-graham] Perhaps [I]0-i deserved [them]1967-them , [Lucy]142-lucy . If [you]142-lucy do n't respect [me]0-i , [I]0-i am sure it is because [I]0-i am not respectable . [I]0-i fear , [I]0-i am [an awkward fool]1968-an awkward fool : [I]0-i must manage badly in some way , for where [I]0-i wish to please , it seems [I]0-i do n't please . " "[0-i] Of that [you]142-lucy can not be sure ; and even if such be the case , is it the fault of [your]142-lucy character , or of [another]5484-another 's perceptions ? But now , let [me]0-i unsay what [I]0-i said in anger . In one thing , and in all things , [I]0-i deeply respect [you]142-lucy . If [you]142-lucy think scarcely enough of [yourself]142-lucy , and too much of [others]770-others , what is that but an excellence ? " "[142-lucy] Can [I]0-i think too much of [Ginevra]179-ginevra ? " "[142-lucy] [I]0-i believe [you]142-lucy may ; [you]142-lucy believe [you]142-lucy ca n't . Let [us]1971-us agree to differ . Let [me]0-i be pardoned ; that is what [I]0-i ask . " "[0-i] Do [you]142-lucy think [I]0-i cherish ill - will for one warm word ? " "[142-lucy] [I]0-i see [you]142-lucy do not and can not ; but just say , ' [Lucy]142-lucy , [I]0-i forgive [you]142-lucy ! ' Say that , to ease [me]0-i of the heart - ache . " "[0-i] Put away [your]142-lucy heart - ache , as [I]0-i will put away [mine]0-i ; for [you]142-lucy wounded [me]0-i a little , [Lucy]142-lucy . Now , when the pain is gone , [I]0-i more than forgive : [I]0-i feel grateful , as to [a sincere well - wisher]1972-a sincere well - wisher . " "[0-i] [I]0-i am [[your]142-lucy sincere well - wisher]1973-your sincere well - wisher : [you]142-lucy are right . " Thus [our]5770-our quarrel ended . [Reader]281-reader , if in the course of this work , [you]281-reader find that [my]179-ginevra opinion of [Dr. John]135-graham undergoes modification , excuse the seeming inconsistency . [I]179-ginevra give the feeling as at the time [I]179-ginevra felt it ; [I]179-ginevra describe the view of character as it appeared when discovered . [He]135-graham showed the fineness of [his]135-graham nature by being kinder to [me]179-ginevra after that misunderstanding than before . Nay , the very incident which , by [my]179-ginevra theory , must in some degree estrange [me]179-ginevra and [him]135-graham , changed , indeed , somewhat [our]5770-our relations ; but not in the sense [I]179-ginevra painfully anticipated . An invisible , but a cold something , very slight , very transparent , but very chill : a sort of screen of ice had hitherto , all through [our]5770-our two lives , glazed the medium through which [we]5770-our exchanged intercourse . Those few warm words , though only warm with anger , breathed on that frail frost - work of reserve ; about this time , it gave note of dissolution . [I]179-ginevra think from that day , so long as [we]5770-our continued [friends]533-friends , [he]135-graham never in discourse stood on topics of ceremony with [me]179-ginevra . [He]135-graham seemed to know that if [he]135-graham would but talk about [himself]135-graham , and about that in which [he]135-graham was most interested , [my]179-ginevra expectation would always be answered , [my]179-ginevra wish always satisfied . It follows , as a matter of course , that [I]179-ginevra continued to hear much of "[179-ginevra] [Ginevra]179-ginevra . " "[179-ginevra] [Ginevra]179-ginevra ! " [He]135-graham thought [her]179-ginevra so fair , so good ; [he]135-graham spoke so lovingly of [her]179-ginevra charms , [her]179-ginevra sweetness , [her]179-ginevra innocence , that , in spite of [my]179-ginevra plain prose knowledge of the reality , a kind of reflected glow began to settle on [her]179-ginevra idea , even for [me]179-ginevra . Still , [reader]4604-reader , [I]179-ginevra am free to confess , that [he]135-graham often talked nonsense ; but [I]179-ginevra strove to be unfailingly patient with [him]135-graham . [I]179-ginevra had had [my]179-ginevra lesson : [I]179-ginevra had learned how severe for [me]179-ginevra was the pain of crossing , or grieving , or disappointing [him]135-graham . In a strange and new sense , [I]179-ginevra grew most selfish , and quite powerless to deny [myself]179-ginevra the delight of indulging [his]135-graham mood , and being pliant to [his]135-graham will . [He]135-graham still seemed to [me]179-ginevra most absurd when [he]135-graham obstinately doubted , and desponded about [his]135-graham power to win in the end [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's preference . The fancy became rooted in [my]179-ginevra own mind more stubbornly than ever , that [she]179-ginevra was only coquetting to goad [him]135-graham , and that , at heart , [she]179-ginevra coveted everyone of [his]135-graham words and looks . Sometimes [he]135-graham harassed [me]179-ginevra , in spite of [my]179-ginevra resolution to bear and hear ; in the midst of the indescribable gall - honey pleasure of thus bearing and hearing , [he]135-graham struck so on the flint of what firmness [I]179-ginevra owned , that it emitted fire once and again . [I]179-ginevra chanced to assert one day , with a view to stilling [his]135-graham impatience , that in [my]179-ginevra own mind , [I]179-ginevra felt positive [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra must intend eventually to accept [him]135-graham . "[179-ginevra] Positive ! It was easy to say so , but had [I]0-i any grounds for such assurance ? " "[0-i] The best grounds . " "[0-i] Now , [Lucy]142-lucy , do tell [me]0-i what ! " "[142-lucy] [You]142-lucy know [them]1974-them as well as [I]0-i ; and , knowing [them]1974-them , [Dr. John]135-graham , it really amazes [me]0-i that [you]135-graham should not repose the frankest confidence in [her]1975-her fidelity . To doubt , under the circumstances , is almost to insult . " "[135-graham] Now [you]135-graham are beginning to speak fast and to breathe short ; but speak a little faster and breathe a little shorter , till [you]135-graham have given an explanation - a full explanation : [I]0-i must have it . " "[135-graham] [You]135-graham shall , [Dr. John]135-graham . In some cases , [you]135-graham are [a lavish , generous man]1976-a lavish , generous man : [you]135-graham are [a worshipper]1977-a worshipper ever ready with the votive offering should [Pere Silas]289-pere silas ever convert [you]135-graham , [you]135-graham will give [him]289-pere silas abundance of alms for [[his]289-pere silas poor]1978-his poor , [you]135-graham will supply [his]289-pere silas altar with tapers , and the shrine of [[your]135-graham favourite saint]1979-your favourite saint [you]135-graham will do [your]135-graham best to enrich : [Ginevra]179-ginevra , [Dr. John]135-graham - " "[135-graham] Hush ! " said [he]0-i , "[135-graham] do n't go on . " "[135-graham] Hush , [I]0-i will not : and go on [I]0-i will : [Ginevra]179-ginevra has had [her]179-ginevra hands filled from [your]135-graham hands more times than [I]0-i can count . [You]135-graham have sought for [her]179-ginevra the costliest flowers ; [you]135-graham have busied [your]135-graham brain in devising gifts the most delicate : such , [one]607-one would have thought , as [only a woman]1981-only a woman could have imagined ; and in addition , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra owns a set of ornaments , to purchase which [your]135-graham generosity must have verged on extravagance . " The modesty [Ginevra]179-ginevra [herself]179-ginevra had never evinced in this matter , now flushed all over the face of [[her]179-ginevra admirer]5773-her admirer . "[179-ginevra] Nonsense ! " [he]0-i said , destructively snipping a skein of silk with [my]179-ginevra scissors . "[179-ginevra] [I]0-i offered them to please [myself]0-i : [I]0-i felt [she]179-ginevra did [me]0-i a favour in accepting them . " "[179-ginevra] [She]179-ginevra did more than a favour , [Dr. John]135-graham : [she]179-ginevra pledged [her]179-ginevra very honour that [she]179-ginevra would make [you]135-graham some return ; and if [she]179-ginevra can not pay [you]135-graham in affection , [she]179-ginevra ought to hand out a business - like equivalent , in the shape of some rouleaux of gold pieces . " "[179-ginevra] But [you]135-graham do n't understand [her]179-ginevra ; [she]179-ginevra is far too disinterested to care for [my]0-i gifts , and too simple - minded to know their value . " [I]179-ginevra laughed out : [I]179-ginevra had heard [her]179-ginevra adjudge to every jewel its price ; and well [I]179-ginevra knew money - embarrassment , money - schemes ; money 's worth , and endeavours to realise supplies , had , young as [she]179-ginevra was , furnished the most frequent , and the favourite stimulus of [her]179-ginevra thoughts for years . [He]0-i pursued . "[179-ginevra] [You]135-graham should have seen [her]179-ginevra whenever [I]0-i have laid on [her]179-ginevra lap some trifle ; so cool , so unmoved : no eagerness to take , not even pleasure in contemplating . Just from amiable reluctance to grieve [me]0-i , [she]179-ginevra would permit the bouquet to lie beside [her]179-ginevra , and perhaps consent to bear it away . Or , if [I]0-i achieved the fastening of a bracelet on [her]179-ginevra ivory arm , however pretty the trinket might be and [I]0-i always carefully chose what seemed to [me]0-i pretty , and what of course was not valueless , the glitter never dazzled [her]179-ginevra bright eyes : [she]179-ginevra would hardly cast one look on [my]0-i gift " "[179-ginevra] Then , of course , not valuing it , [she]179-ginevra would unloose , and return it to [you]0-i ? " "[179-ginevra] No ; for such a repulse [she]179-ginevra was too good - natured . [She]179-ginevra would consent to seem to forget what [I]0-i had done , and retain the offering with [lady - like quiet and easy oblivion]1982-lady - like quiet and easy oblivion . Under such circumstances , how can [a man]823-a man build on acceptance of [his]823-a man presents as a favourable symptom ? For [my]0-i part , were [I]0-i to offer [her]179-ginevra all [I]0-i have , and [she]179-ginevra to take it , such is [her]179-ginevra incapacity to be swayed by sordid considerations , [I]0-i should not venture to believe the transaction advanced [me]0-i one step . " "[135-graham] [Dr. John]135-graham , " [I]135-graham began , "[135-graham] Love is blind ; " but just then a blue subtle ray sped sideways from [Dr. John]135-graham 's eye : it reminded [me]142-lucy of old days , it reminded [me]142-lucy of [his]135-graham picture : it half led [me]142-lucy to think that part , at least , of [his]135-graham professed persuasion of [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's naivete was assumed ; it led [me]142-lucy dubiously to conjecture that perhaps , in spite of [his]135-graham passion for [her]179-ginevra beauty , [his]135-graham appreciation of [her]179-ginevra foibles might possibly be less mistaken , more clear - sighted , than from [his]135-graham general language was presumable . After all it might be only a chance look , or at best the token of a merely momentary impression . Chance or intentional real or imaginary , it closed the conversation . CHAPTER XIX . [THE CLEOPATRA]294-the cleopatra . [My]142-lucy stay at [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse was prolonged a fortnight beyond the close of the vacation . [[Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's kind management]5774-mrs. bretton 's kind management procured [me]142-lucy this respite . [[Her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son having one day delivered the dictum that "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy was not yet strong enough to go back to [that den of [a pensionnat]1093-a pensionnat]1984-that den of a pensionnat , " [she]130-mrs. bretton at once drove over to [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette , had an interview with [the directress]4887-the directress , and procured the indulgence , on the plea of prolonged rest and change being necessary to perfect recovery . Hereupon , however , followed an attention [I]142-lucy could very well have dispensed with , viz - a polite call from [Madame Beck]190-madame . [That lady]577-that lady - one fine day - actually came out in a fiacre as far as [the chateau]5779-the chateau . [I]142-lucy suppose [she]577-that lady had resolved within [herself]577-that lady to see what manner of place [Dr. John]135-graham inhabited . Apparently , [the pleasant site and neat interior]5780-the pleasant site and neat interior surpassed [her]130-mrs. bretton expectations ; [she]130-mrs. bretton eulogized all [she]130-mrs. bretton saw , pronounced [the blue salon]5781-the blue salon "[142-lucy] une piece magnifique , " profusely congratulated [me]142-lucy on the acquisition of [friends]533-friends , "[142-lucy] tellement dignes , aimables , et respectables , " turned also a neat compliment in [my]142-lucy favour , and , upon [Dr. John]135-graham coming in , ran up to [him]135-graham with the utmost buoyancy , opening at the same time such a fire of rapid language , all sparkling with felicitations and protestations about [his]135-graham "[142-lucy] [chateau]1986-chateau , " - "[142-lucy] [madame sa mere]1987-madame sa mere , la digne chatelaine : " also [his]135-graham looks ; which , indeed , were very flourishing , and at the moment additionally embellished by the good - natured but amused smile with which [he]135-graham always listened to [Madame]190-madame 's fluent and florid French . In short , [Madame]190-madame shone in [her]190-madame very best phase that day , and came in and went out quite a living catherine - wheel of compliments , delight , and affability . Half purposely , and half to ask some question about school - business , [I]142-lucy followed [her]190-madame to [the carriage]5783-the carriage , and looked in after [she]190-madame was seated and the door closed . In that brief fraction of time what a change had been wrought ! An instant ago , all sparkles and jests , [she]190-madame now sat sterner than [a judge]4967-a judge and graver than [a sage]5785-a sage . [Strange little woman]5786-strange little woman ! [I]142-lucy went back and teased [Dr. John]135-graham about [Madame]190-madame 's devotion to [him]135-graham . How [he]135-graham laughed ! What fun shone in [his]135-graham eyes as [he]135-graham recalled some of [her]190-madame fine speeches , and repeated them , imitating [her]190-madame voluble delivery ! [He]135-graham had an acute sense of humour , and was [the finest company in [the world]811-the world]5787-the finest company in the world - when [he]135-graham could forget [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra . To ' sit in sunshine calm and sweet "[142-lucy] is said to be excellent for [weak people]1988-weak people ; it gives [them]1988-weak people vital force . When [little Georgette Beck]295-little georgette beck was recovering from [her]295-little georgette beck illness , [I]0-i used to take [her]295-little georgette beck in [my]0-i arms and walk with [her]295-little georgette beck in [the garden]1165-the garden by the hour together , beneath a certain wall hung with grapes , which the Southern sun was ripening : that sun cherished [her]295-little georgette beck little pale frame quite as effectually as it mellowed and swelled the clustering fruit . There are human tempers , bland , glowing , and genial , within whose influence it is as good for [the poor in spirit to live]1990-the poor in spirit to live , as it is for [the feeble in frame to bask in the glow of noon]1991-the feeble in frame to bask in the glow of noon . Of the number of these choice natures were certainly both [Dr. Bretton]135-graham 's and [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's . [They]1993-they liked to communicate happiness , as some like to occasion misery : [they]1993-they did it instinctively ; without fuss , and apparently with little consciousness ; the means to give pleasure rose spontaneously in [their]1993-they minds . Every day while [I]0-i stayed with [them]1993-they , some little plan was proposed which resulted in beneficial enjoyment . Fully occupied as was [Dr. John]135-graham 's time , [he]135-graham still made it in [his]135-graham way to accompany [us]1994-us in each brief excursion . [I]0-i can hardly tell how [he]135-graham managed [his]135-graham engagements ; they were numerous , yet by dint of system , [he]135-graham classed them in an order which left [him]135-graham a daily period of liberty . [I]0-i often saw [him]135-graham hard - worked , yet seldom over - driven , and never irritated , confused , or oppressed . What [he]135-graham did was accomplished with the ease and grace of all - sufficing strength ; with the bountiful cheerfulness of high and unbroken energies . Under [his]135-graham guidance [I]0-i saw , in that one happy fortnight , more of [Villette]3-villette , [its]3-villette environs , and [[its]3-villette inhabitants]1995-its inhabitants , than [I]0-i had seen in the whole eight months of [[my]0-i previous residence]1996-my previous residence . [He]135-graham took [me]0-i to places of interest in [the town]1306-the town , of whose names [I]0-i had not before so much as heard ; with willingness and spirit [he]135-graham communicates . much noteworthy information . [He]135-graham never seemed to think it a trouble to talk to [me]0-i , and , [I]0-i am sure , it was never a task to [me]0-i to listen . It was not [his]135-graham way to treat [subjects]1998-subjects coldly and vaguely ; [he]135-graham rarely generalized , never prosed . [He]135-graham seemed to like nice details almost as much as [I]0-i liked them [myself]0-i : [he]135-graham seemed observant of character : and not superficially observant , either . These points gave the quality of interest to [his]135-graham discourse ; and the fact of [his]135-graham speaking direct from [his]135-graham own resources , and not borrowing or stealing from books - here a dry fact , and there a trite phrase , and elsewhere a hackneyed opinion - ensured a freshness , as welcome as it was rare . Before [my]0-i eyes , too , [his]135-graham disposition seemed to unfold another phase ; to pass to a fresh day : to rise in new and nobler dawn . [[His]135-graham mother]534-his mother possessed a good development of benevolence , but [he]135-graham owned a better and larger . [I]0-i found , on accompanying [him]135-graham to [the Basse - Ville]74-the basse - ville - [the poor and crowded quarter of [the city]4429-the city]2000-the poor and crowded quarter of the city - that [his]135-graham errands there were as much those of [the philanthropist]2002-the philanthropist as [the physician]1265-the physician . [I]0-i understood presently that cheerfully , habitually , and in single - minded unconsciousness of any special merit distinguishing [his]135-graham deeds - [he]135-graham was achieving , amongst [a very wretched population , a world of active good]2004-a very wretched population , a world of active good . [The lower orders]2005-the lower orders liked [him]135-graham well ; [[his]135-graham poor , patients in [the hospitals]2007-the hospitals]2006-his poor , patients in the hospitals welcomed [him]135-graham with a sort of enthusiasm . But stop - [I]0-i must not , from [the faithful narrator]2008-the faithful narrator , degenerate into [the partial eulogist]2009-the partial eulogist . Well , full well , do [I]0-i know that [Dr. John]135-graham was not perfect , anymore than [I]0-i am perfect . Human fallibility leavened [him]135-graham throughout : there was no hour , and scarcely a moment of the time [I]0-i spent with [him]135-graham that in act or speech , or look , [he]135-graham did not betray something that was not of [a god]2010-a god . [A god]2010-a god could not have the cruel vanity of [Dr. John]135-graham , nor [his]135-graham sometime levity . , [No immortal]2012-no immortal could have resembled [him]135-graham in [his]135-graham occasional temporary oblivion of all but the present - in [his]135-graham passing passion for that present ; shown not coarsely , by devoting it to material indulgence , but selfishly , by extracting from it whatever it could yield of nutriment to [his]135-graham masculine self- love : [his]135-graham delight was to feed that ravenous sentiment , without thought of the price of provender , or care for the cost of keeping it sleek and high - pampered . [The reader]759-the reader is requested to note a seeming contradiction in the two views which have been given of [Graham Bretton]135-graham - [the public and private]2014-the public and private - the out - door and the in - door view . In the first , [the public]2015-the public , [he]135-graham is shown oblivious of self ; as modest in the display of [his]135-graham energies , as earnest in [their]2016-their exercise . In the second , the fireside picture , there is expressed consciousness of what [he]135-graham has and what [he]135-graham is ; pleasure in homage , some recklessness in exciting , some vanity in receiving the same . Both portraits are correct . It was hardly possible to oblige [Dr. John]135-graham quietly and in secret . When [you]2017-you thought that the fabrication of some trifle dedicated to [his]135-graham use had been achieved unnoticed , and that , like [other men]2018-other men , [he]135-graham would use it when placed ready for [his]135-graham use , and never ask whence it came , [he]135-graham amazed [you]2017-you by a smilingly - uttered observation or two , proving that [his]135-graham eye had been on the work from commencement to close : that [he]135-graham had noted the design , traced its progress , and marked its completion . It pleased [him]135-graham to be thus served , and [he]135-graham let [his]135-graham pleasure beam in [his]135-graham eye and play about [his]135-graham mouth . This would have been all very well , if [he]135-graham had not added to such kindly and unobtrusive evidence a certain wilfulness in discharging what [he]135-graham called debts . When [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother worked for [him]135-graham , [he]135-graham paid [her]534-his mother by showering about [her]534-his mother [his]135-graham bright animal spirits , with even more affluence than [his]135-graham gay , taunting , teasing , loving wo nt . If [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy were discovered to have put [her]142-lucy hand to such work , [he]135-graham planned , in recompence , some pleasant recreation . [I]0-i often felt amazed at [his]135-graham perfect knowledge of [Villette]3-villette ; a knowledge not merely confined to [[its]3-villette open streets]2020-its open streets , but penetrating to all [its]3-villette galleries , [salles]2021-salles , and cabinets : of every door which shut in an object worth seeing , of [every museum]2022-every museum , of [every hall]2023-every hall , sacred to art or science , [he]135-graham seemed to possess the " Open ! Sesame . "[135-graham] [I]0-i never had a head for science , but [an ignorant , blind , fond instinct]2024-an ignorant , blind , fond instinct inclined [me]0-i to art . [I]0-i liked to visit [the picture - galleries]2025-the picture - galleries , and [I]0-i dearly liked to be left there alone . In company , a wretched idiosyncracy forbade [me]0-i to see much or to feel anything . In [unfamiliar company]2026-unfamiliar company , where it was necessary to maintain a flow of talk on the subjects in presence , half an hour would knock [me]0-i up , with a combined pressure of physical lassitude and entire mental incapacity . [I]0-i never yet saw [the well- reared child]2027-the well- reared child , much less [the educated adult , who could not put [me]0-i to shame , by the sustained intelligence of its demeanour under the ordeal of a conversable , sociable visitation of pictures , historical sights or [buildings]2029-buildings , or any lions of public interest]2028-the educated adult , who could not put me to shame , by the sustained intelligence of its demeanour under the ordeal of a conversable , sociable visitation of pictures , historical sights or buildings , or any lions of public interest . [Dr. Bretton]135-graham was [a cicerone]2030-a cicerone after [my]0-i own heart ; [he]135-graham would take [me]0-i betimes , ere [the galleries]2031-the galleries were filled , leave [me]0-i [there]512-there for two or three hours , and call for [me]0-i when [his]135-graham own engagements were discharged . Meantime , [I]0-i was happy ; happy , not always in admiring , but in examining , questioning , and forming conclusions . In the commencement of these visits , there was some misunderstanding and consequent struggle between Will and Power . [The former faculty]2033-the former faculty exacted approbation of that which it was considered orthodox to admire ; [the latter]541-the latter groaned forth [its]541-the latter utter inability to pay the tax ; it was then self - sneered at , spurred up , goaded on to refine [its]541-the latter taste , and whet [its]541-the latter zest . The more it was chidden , however , the more it would n't praise . Discovering gradually that a wonderful sense of fatigue resulted from these conscientious efforts , [I]0-i began to reflect whether [I]0-i might not dispense with that great labour , and concluded eventually that [I]0-i might , and so sank supine into a luxury of calm before ninety - nine out of a hundred of the exhibited frames . It seemed to [me]0-i that an original and good picture was just as scarce as an original and good book ; nor did [I]0-i , in the end , tremble to say to [myself]0-i , standing before certain chef - d'oeuvres bearing great names , " These are not a whit like nature . [Nature]296-nature 's daylight never had that colour : never was made so turbid , either by storm or cloud , as it is laid out there , under a sky of indigo : and that indigo is not ether ; and those dark weeds plastered upon it are not trees . "[0-i] [Several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women]2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women struck [me]0-i as by no means [the goddesses [they]2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women appeared to consider [themselves]2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women]2036-the goddesses they appeared to consider themselves . Many scores of marvellously - finished little Flemish pictures , and also of sketches , excellent for fashion - books displaying varied costumes in the handsomest materials , gave evidence of laudable industry whimsically applied . And yet there were fragments of truth here and there which satisfied the conscience , and gleams of light that cheered the vision . [Nature]296-nature 's power here broke through in a mountain snow- storm ; and there [her]296-nature glory in a sunny southern day . An expression in this portrait proved clear insight into character ; a face in that historical painting , by its vivid filial likeness , startlingly reminded [you]2037-you that [genius]2038-genius gave it birth . These exceptions [I]0-i loved : [they]2035-several very well executed and complacent - looking fat women grew dear as [friends]533-friends . One day , at a quiet early hour , [I]0-i found [myself]0-i nearly alone in [a certain gallery]2040-a certain gallery , wherein one particular picture of portentous size , set up in the best light , having a cordon of protection stretched before it , and a cushioned bench duly set in front for the accommodation of [worshipping connoisseurs]2041-worshipping connoisseurs , who , having gazed [themselves]2041-worshipping connoisseurs off [their]2041-worshipping connoisseurs feet , might be fain to complete the business sitting : this picture , [I]0-i say , seemed to consider [itself]2042-itself [the queen of the collection]2043-the queen of the collection . It represented [a woman]4363-a woman , considerably larger , [I]0-i thought , than the life . [I]0-i calculated that [this lady , put into a scale of magnitude , suitable for the reception of a commodity of bulk]2045-this lady , put into a scale of magnitude , suitable for the reception of a commodity of bulk , would infallibly turn from fourteen to sixteen stone . [She]4363-a woman was , indeed , extremely well fed : very much [butcher]2046-butcher 's meat - to say nothing of bread , vegetables , and liquids - must [she]4363-a woman have consumed to attain that breadth and height , that wealth of muscle , that affluence of flesh . [She]4363-a woman lay half - reclined on a couch : why , it would be difficult to say ; broad daylight blazed round [her]4363-a woman ; [she]4363-a woman appeared in hearty health , strong enough to do the work of [two plain cooks]2047-two plain cooks ; [she]4363-a woman could not plead a weak spine ; [she]4363-a woman ought to have been standing , or at least sitting bolt upright . [She]4363-a woman , had no business to lounge away the noon on a sofa . [She]4363-a woman ought likewise to have worn decent garments ; a gown covering [her]4363-a woman properly , which was not the case : out of abundance of material - seven - and - twenty yards , [I]0-i should say , of drapery - [she]4363-a woman managed to make inefficient raiment . Then , for the wretched untidiness surrounding [her]4363-a woman , there could be no excuse . Pots and pans - perhaps [I]0-i ought to say vases and goblets - were rolled here and there on the foreground ; a perfect rubbish of flowers was mixed amongst them , and an absurd and disorderly mass of curtain upholstery smothered the couch and cumbered the floor . On referring to the catalogue , [I]0-i found that this notable production bore the name " [Cleopatra]294-the cleopatra . "[0-i] Well , [I]0-i was sitting wondering at [it]2048-it as the bench was there , [I]0-i thought [I]0-i might as well take advantage of [its]2048-it accommodation , and thinking that while some of the details - as roses , gold cups , jewels , c. , were very prettily painted , it was on the whole an enormous piece of claptrap ; [the room]600-the room , almost vacant when [I]0-i entered , began to fill . Scarcely noticing this circumstance as , indeed , it did not matter to [me]0-i [I]0-i retained [my]0-i seat ; rather to rest [myself]0-i than with a view to studying [this huge , dark - complexioned gipsy - queen]2050-this huge , dark - complexioned gipsy - queen ; of whom , indeed , [I]0-i soon tired , and betook [myself]0-i for refreshment to the contemplation of some exquisite little pictures of still life : wild - flowers , wild- fruit , mossy woodnests , casketing eggs that looked like pearls seen through [clear green sea - water]2051-clear green sea - water ; all hung modestly beneath that coarse and preposterous canvas . Suddenly a light tap visited [my]0-i shoulder . Starting , turning , [I]0-i met a face bent to encounter [mine]0-i ; a frowning , almost a shocked face it was . " Que faites - vous ici ? "[196-m. paul] said a voice . " Mais , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , je m'amuse . "[196-m. paul] " Vous vous amusez ! et a quoi , s'il vous plait ? Mais d'abord , faites- moi le plaisir de vous lever ; prenez mon bras , et allons de l'autre cote . "[0-i] [I]0-i did precisely as [I]0-i was bid . [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul it was [he]196-m. paul returned from [Rome]54-rome , and now [a travelled man]2052-a travelled man , was not likely to be less tolerant of insubordination now , than before this added distinction laurelled [his]196-m. paul temples . " Permit [me]196-m. paul to conduct [you]0-i to [your]0-i party , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul , as [we]2053-we crossed [the room]600-the room . " [I]196-m. paul have [no party]5790-no party . "[196-m. paul] " [You]196-m. paul are not alone ? "[196-m. paul] " Yes , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur . "[196-m. paul] " Did [you]196-m. paul come [here]4212-here unaccompanied ? "[196-m. paul] " No , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur . [Dr. Bretton]135-graham brought [me]196-m. paul [here]4212-here . "[196-m. paul] " [Dr. Bretton]135-graham and [Madame]190-madame [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother , of course ? "[196-m. paul] " No ; only [Dr. Bretton]135-graham . "[196-m. paul] " And [he]135-graham told [you]196-m. paul to look at that picture ? "[196-m. paul] " By no means ; [I]196-m. paul found it out for [myself]196-m. paul . "[196-m. paul] [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's hair was shorn close as raven down , or [I]0-i think it would have bristled on [his]196-m. paul head . Beginning now to perceive [his]196-m. paul drift , [I]0-i had a certain pleasure in keeping cool , and working [him]196-m. paul up . " Astounding insular audacity ! "[2055-the professor] cried [the Professor]2055-the professor . " Singulieres femmes que ces Anglaises ! "[2055-the professor] " What is the matter , [Monsieur]5796-monsieur ? "[196-m. paul] " Matter ! How dare [you]5796-monsieur , [a young person]5797-a young person , sit coolly down , with the self- possession of [a garcon]5798-a garcon , and look at that picture ? "[2055-the professor] " It is a very ugly picture , but [I]2055-the professor can not at all see why [I]2055-the professor should not look at it "[2055-the professor] " Bon ! bon ! Speak no more of it . But [you]5796-monsieur ought not to be here alone . "[196-m. paul] ' If , however , [I]0-i have [no society]2056-no society - no party , as [you]2055-the professor say ? And then , what does it signify whether [I]0-i am alone , or accompanied ? [nobody]4256-nobody meddles with [me]0-i . " "[4256-nobody] Taisez - vous , et asseyez - vous la - la ! " - setting down a chair with emphasis in a particularly dull corner , before [a series of most specially dreary "[4256-nobody] cadres]5799-a series of most specially dreary " cadres . " "[4256-nobody] Mais , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur ? " "[297-mais] [Mais]297-mais , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , asseyez - vous , et ne bougez pas - entendez - vous ? - jusqu'a ce qu'on vienne vous chercher , ou que je vous donne la permission . " "[298-mariee] Quel triste coin ! " cried [I]298-mariee , "[298-mariee] et quelles laids tableaux ! " And "[298-mariee] laids , " indeed , they were ; being a set of four , denominated in the catalogue "[298-mariee] La vie d'une femme . " They were painted rather in a remarkable style - flat , dead , pale , and formal . The first represented a "[298-mariee] Jeune Fille , " coming out of [a church]5473-a church - door , a missal in [her]298-mariee hand , [her]298-mariee dress very prim , [her]298-mariee eyes cast down , [her]298-mariee mouth pursed up - the image of [a most villanous little precocious [she]5801-a most villanous little precocious she - hypocrite - hypocrite]5801-a most villanous little precocious she - hypocrite . [The second]1505-the second , a "[298-mariee] [Mariee]298-mariee , " with a long white veil , kneeling at a prie - dieu in [[her]298-mariee chamber]1070-her chamber , holding [her]298-mariee hands plastered together , finger to finger , and showing the whites of [her]298-mariee eyes in a most exasperating manner . The third , a "[298-mariee] [Jeune Mere]299-jeune mere , " hanging disconsolate over [a clayey and puffy baby with a face like an unwholesome full moon]5804-a clayey and puffy baby with a face like an unwholesome full moon . The fourth , a "[299-jeune mere] Veuve , " being [a black woman]5805-a black woman , holding by the hand [a black little girl]5806-a black little girl , and [the twain]5807-the twain studiously surveying [an elegant French monument , set up in a corner of [some Pere la Chaise]5809-some pere la chaise]5808-an elegant french monument , set up in a corner of some pere la chaise . All these four "[299-jeune mere] Anges " were grim and grey as [burglars]5810-burglars , and cold and vapid as ghosts . What [women]4398-women to live with ! insincere , ill - humoured , bloodless , brainless nonentities ! As bad in [their]4398-women way as the indolent gipsy - giantess , [the Cleopatra]5812-the cleopatra , in [hers]5812-the cleopatra . It was impossible to keep [one]607-one 's attention long confined to these master - pieces , and so , by degrees , [I]2060-i veered round , and surveyed [the gallery]5814-the gallery . [A perfect crowd of spectators]5815-a perfect crowd of spectators was by this time gathered round [the Lioness]5816-the lioness , from whose vicinage [I]2060-i had been banished ; nearly half [this crowd]5817-this crowd were [ladies]622-ladies , but [M. Paul]196-m. paul afterwards told [me]2060-i , these were "[2060-i] [des dames]2059-des dames , " and it was quite proper for [them]5815-a perfect crowd of spectators to contemplate what [no "[2060-i] demoiselle "]5819-no " demoiselle " ought to glance at . [I]2060-i assured [him]196-m. paul plainly [I]2060-i could not agree in this doctrine , and did not see the sense of it ; whereupon , with [his]196-m. paul usual absolutism , [he]196-m. paul merely requested [my]2060-i silence , and also , in the same breath , denounced [my]2060-i mingled rashness and ignorance . [A more despotic little man]5820-a more despotic little man than [M. Paul]196-m. paul never filled [a professor]5821-a professor 's chair . [I]2060-i noticed , by the way , that [he]196-m. paul looked at the picture [himself]196-m. paul quite at [his]196-m. paul ease , and for a very long while : [he]196-m. paul did not , however , neglect to glance from time to time [my]2060-i way , in order , [I]2060-i suppose , to make sure that [I]2060-i was obeying orders , and not breaking bounds . By - and- by , [he]196-m. paul again accosted [me]2060-i . "[2060-i] Had [I]0-i not been ill ? " [he]196-m. paul wished to know : "[2060-i] [he]2060-i understood [I]0-i had . " "[2060-i] Yes , but [I]0-i was now quite well . " "[2060-i] Where had [I]0-i spent the vacation ? " "[2060-i] Chiefly in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette ; partly with [Madame Bretton]300-madame bretton . " "[2060-i] [He]2060-i had heard that [I]0-i was left alone in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette ; was that so ? " "[2060-i] Not quite alone : [Marie Broc]139-polly " [the cretin]5420-the cretin "[0-i] was with [me]0-i . " [He]196-m. paul shrugged [his]196-m. paul shoulders ; varied and contradictory expressions played rapidly over [his]196-m. paul countenance . [Marie Broc]139-polly was well known to [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; [he]196-m. paul never gave a lesson in the third division containing [the least advanced pupils]5823-the least advanced pupils , that [she]139-polly did not occasion in [him]196-m. paul a sharp conflict between antagonistic impressions . [Her]139-polly personal appearance , [her]139-polly repulsive manners , [her]139-polly often unmanageable disposition , irritated [his]196-m. paul temper , and inspired [him]196-m. paul with strong antipathy ; a feeling [he]196-m. paul was too apt to conceive when [his]196-m. paul taste was offended or [his]196-m. paul will thwarted . On the other hand , [her]139-polly misfortunes , constituted a strong claim on [his]196-m. paul forbearance and compassion - such a claim as it was not in [his]196-m. paul nature to deny ; hence resulted almost daily drawn battles between impatience and disgust on the one hand , pity and a sense of justice on the other ; in which , to [his]196-m. paul credit be it said , it was very seldom that the former feelings prevailed : when they did , however , [M. Paul]196-m. paul showed a phase of character which had its terrors . [His]196-m. paul passions were strong , [his]196-m. paul aversions and attachments alike vivid ; the force [he]196-m. paul exerted in holding both in check by no means mitigated [an observer]5824-an observer 's sense of [their]5825-their vehemence . With such tendencies , it may well be supposed [he]196-m. paul often excited in ordinary minds fear and dislike ; yet it was an error to fear [him]196-m. paul : nothing drove [him]196-m. paul so nearly frantic as the tremor of an apprehensive and distrustful spirit ; nothing soothed [him]196-m. paul like confidence tempered with gentleness . To evince these sentiments , however , required a thorough comprehension of [his]196-m. paul nature ; and [his]196-m. paul nature was of an order rarely comprehended . "[0-i] How did [you]2063-you get on with [Marie Broc]139-polly ? " [he]196-m. paul asked , after some minutes ' silence . "[2064-monsieur] [Monsieur]2064-monsieur , [I]0-i did [my]0-i best ; but it was terrible to be alone with [her]139-polly ! " "[2063-you] [You]2063-you have , then , a weak heart ! [You]2063-you lack courage ; and , perhaps , charity . [Yours]2063-you are not the qualities which might constitute [a Sister of Mercy]2065-a sister of mercy . " [He]196-m. paul was [a religious little man]5826-a religious little man , in [his]196-m. paul way : the self - denying and self- sacrificing part of [the Catholic religion]5827-the catholic religion commanded the homage of [his]196-m. paul soul . "[0-i] [I]0-i do n't know , indeed : [I]0-i took as good care of [her]139-polly as [I]0-i could ; but when [[her]139-polly aunt]2066-her aunt came to fetch [her]139-polly away , it was a great relief . " "[2066-her aunt] Ah ! [you]2063-you are [an egotist]1504-an egotist . There are women who have nursed [hospitals]2068-hospitals - full of [similar unfortunates]2069-similar unfortunates . [You]2063-you could not do that ? " "[2063-you] Could [Monsieur]2070-monsieur do it [himself]2070-monsieur ? " "[2070-monsieur] [Women who are worthy the name]2071-women who are worthy the name ought infinitely to surpass ; [our]2072-our coarse , fallible , self - indulgent sex , in the power to perform such duties . " "[0-i] [I]0-i washed [her]139-polly , [I]0-i kept [her]139-polly clean , [I]0-i fed [her]139-polly , [I]0-i tried to amuse [her]139-polly ; but [she]139-polly made mouths at [me]0-i instead of speaking . " "[139-polly] [You]2063-you think [you]2063-you did great things ? " "[2063-you] No ; but as great as [I]0-i could do . " "[0-i] Then limited are [your]2063-you powers , for in [tending one idiot]2073-tending one idiot [you]2063-you fell sick . " "[2074-monsieur] Not with that , [Monsieur]2074-monsieur ; [I]0-i had a nervous fever : [my]0-i mind was ill . " "[0-i] Vraiment ! Vous valez peu de chose . [You]2063-you are not cast in an heroic mould ; [your]2063-you courage will not avail to sustain [you]2063-you in solitude ; it merely gives [you]2063-you the temerity to gaze with sang - froid at pictures of [Cleopatra]294-the cleopatra . " It would have been easy to show anger at the teasing , hostile tone of [the little man]1008-the little man . [I]294-the cleopatra had never been angry with [him]1008-the little man yet , however , and had no present disposition to begin . "[294-the cleopatra] [Cleopatra]294-the cleopatra ! " [I]294-the cleopatra repeated , quietly . "[294-the cleopatra] [Monsieur]2075-monsieur , too , has been looking at [Cleopatra]294-the cleopatra ; what does [he]2075-monsieur think of [her]294-the cleopatra ? " "[2075-monsieur] Cela ne vaut rien , " [he]1008-the little man responded . "[2075-monsieur] Une femme superbe - une taille d'imperatrice , des formes de [Junon]301-junon , mais [une personne]2076-une personne do nt je ne voudrais ni pour femme , ni pour fille , [ni pour soeur]2077-ni pour soeur . Aussi vous ne jeterez plus un seul coup d'oeil de sa cote . " "[2077-ni pour soeur] But [I]0-i have looked at [her]294-the cleopatra a great many times while [Monsieur]2078-monsieur has been talking : [I]0-i can see [her]294-the cleopatra quite well from this corner . " "[2078-monsieur] Turn to the wall and study [your]2063-you four pictures of [a woman]4363-a woman 's life . " "[2078-monsieur] Excuse [me]0-i , [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; they are too hideous : but if [you]196-m. paul admire them , allow [me]0-i to vacate [my]0-i seat and leave [you]196-m. paul to [their]2080-their contemplation . " "[0-i] [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , " [he]0-i said , grimacing a half - smile , or what [he]0-i intended for a smile , though it was but a grim and hurried manifestation . "[196-m. paul] [[You]196-m. paul nurslings of Protestantism]2081-you nurslings of protestantism astonish [me]0-i . [[You]196-m. paul unguarded Englishwomen]2082-you unguarded englishwomen walk calmly amidst red - hot ploughshares and escape burning . [I]0-i believe , if some of [you]196-m. paul were thrown into [Nebuchadnezzar]236-nebuchadnezzar 's hottest furnace [you]196-m. paul would issue forth untraversed by the smell of fire . " "[196-m. paul] Will [Monsieur]2083-monsieur have the goodness to move an inch to one side ? " "[2083-monsieur] How ! At what are [you]0-i gazing now ? [You]0-i are not recognising an acquaintance amongst [that group of jeunes gens]2084-that group of jeunes gens ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i think so - Yes , [I]0-i see there a person [I]0-i know . " In fact , [I]2085-i had caught a glimpse of a head too pretty to belong to any other than the redoubted [Colonel de Hamal]230-alfred . What a very finished , highly polished little pate it was ! What [a figure , so trim and natty]5829-a figure , so trim and natty ! What womanish feet and hands ! How daintily [he]0-i held a glass to one of [his]0-i optics ! with what admiration [he]0-i gazed upon [the Cleopatra]294-the cleopatra ! and then , how engagingly [he]0-i tittered and whispered [a friend]1797-a friend at [his]0-i elbow ! Oh , [the man of sense]5831-the man of sense ! Oh , [the refined gentleman of superior taste and tact]5832-the refined gentleman of superior taste and tact ! [I]2085-i observed [him]0-i for about ten minutes , and perceived that [he]0-i was exceedingly taken with [this dusk and portly Venus of [the Nile]75-the nile]5833-this dusk and portly venus of the nile . So much was [I]2085-i interested in [his]0-i bearing , so absorbed in divining [his]0-i character by [his]0-i looks and movements , [I]2085-i temporarily forgot [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; in the interim [a group]5834-a group came between [that gentleman]5254-that gentleman and [me]2085-i ; or possibly [his]0-i scruples might have received another and worse shock from [my]2085-i present abstraction , causing [him]0-i to withdraw voluntarily : at any rate , when [I]2085-i again looked round , [he]0-i was gone . [My]2085-i eye , pursuant of the search , met not [him]0-i , but another and dissimilar figure , well seen amidst [the crowd]5310-the crowd , for the height as well as the port lent each its distinction . This way came [Dr. John]135-graham , in visage , in shape , in hue , as unlike [the dark , acerb , and caustic little professor]5837-the dark , acerb , and caustic little professor , as the fruit of the Hesperides might be unlike the sloe in the wild thicket ; as [the high - couraged but tractable [Arabian]302-arabian]5838-the high - couraged but tractable arabian is unlike [the rude and stubborn ' sheltie]5839-the rude and stubborn ' sheltie . "[2085-i] [He]2085-i was looking for [me]0-i , but had not yet explored the corner where [the schoolmaster]2086-the schoolmaster had just put [me]0-i . [I]0-i remained quiet ; yet another minute [I]0-i would watch . [He]2085-i approached [de Hamal]230-alfred ; [he]2085-i paused near [him]230-alfred ; [I]0-i thought [he]2085-i had a pleasure in looking over [his]2085-i head ; [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , too , gazed on [the Cleopatra]294-the cleopatra . [I]0-i doubt if it were to [his]135-graham taste : [he]135-graham did not simper like [the little Count]2087-the little count ; [his]135-graham mouth looked fastidious , [his]135-graham eye cool ; without demonstration [he]135-graham stepped aside , leaving room for [others]770-others to approach . [I]0-i saw now that [he]135-graham was waiting , and , rising , [I]0-i joined [him]135-graham . [We]2089-we took one turn round [the gallery]5814-the gallery ; with [Graham]135-graham it was very pleasant to take such a turn . [I]0-i always liked dearly to hear what [he]135-graham had to say about either pictures or books ; because without pretending to be [a connoisseur]2091-a connoisseur , [he]135-graham always spoke [his]135-graham thought , and that was sure to be fresh : very often it was also just and pithy . It was pleasant also to tell [him]135-graham some things [he]135-graham did not know - [he]135-graham listened so kindly , so teachably ; unformalized by scruples lest so to bend [his]135-graham bright handsome head , to gather [a woman]4363-a woman 's rather obscure and stammering explanation , should imperil the dignity of [his]135-graham manhood . And when [he]135-graham communicated information in return , it was with a lucid intelligence that left all [his]135-graham words clear graven on the memory ; no explanation of [his]135-graham giving , no fact of [his]135-graham narrating , did [I]0-i ever forget . As [we]2089-we left [the gallery]5814-the gallery , [I]0-i asked [him]135-graham what [he]135-graham thought of [the Cleopatra]294-the cleopatra after making [him]135-graham laugh by telling [him]135-graham how [Professor Emanuel]303-professor emanuel had sent [me]0-i to the right about , and taking [him]135-graham to see the sweet series of pictures recommended to [my]0-i attention . " Pooh ! "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham . " [[My]135-graham mother]4268-my mother is [a better - looking woman]5841-a better - looking woman . [I]135-graham heard some French fops , yonder , designating [her]4268-my mother as ' le type du voluptueux ; ' if so , [I]135-graham can only say , ' le voluptueux ' is little to [my]135-graham liking . Compare [that mulatto]5842-that mulatto with [Ginevra]179-ginevra ! "[135-graham] CHAPTER XX . THE CONCERT . One morning , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , coming promptly into [[my]0-i room]1110-my room , desired [me]0-i to open [my]0-i drawers and show [her]130-mrs. bretton [my]0-i dresses ; which [I]0-i did , without a word . " That will do , "[130-mrs. bretton] said [she]130-mrs. bretton , when [she]130-mrs. bretton had turned them over . " [You]0-i must have a new one . "[130-mrs. bretton] [She]130-mrs. bretton went out . [She]130-mrs. bretton returned presently with [a dressmaker]2095-a dressmaker . [She]130-mrs. bretton had [me]0-i measured . " [I]130-mrs. bretton mean , "[130-mrs. bretton] said [she]130-mrs. bretton , " to follow [my]130-mrs. bretton own taste , and to have [my]130-mrs. bretton own way in this little matter . "[130-mrs. bretton] Two days after came [home]542-home - a pink dress ! " That is not for [me]0-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , hurriedly , feeling that [I]0-i would almost as soon clothe [myself]0-i in the costume of [a Chinese lady of rank]2097-a chinese lady of rank . " [We]5843-we shall see whether it is for [you]0-i or not , "[0-i] rejoined [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother , adding with [her]506-my godmother resistless decision : " Mark [my]0-i words . [You]0-i will wear it this very evening . "[0-i] [I]0-i thought [I]0-i should not ; [I]0-i thought [no human force]2099-no human force should avail to put [me]0-i into it . A pink dress ! [I]0-i knew it not . [It]2100-it knew not [me]0-i . [I]0-i had not proved it . [[My]0-i godmother]506-my godmother went on to decree that [I]0-i was to go with [her]506-my godmother and [Graham]135-graham to a concert that same night : which concert , [she]506-my godmother explained , was a grand affair to be held in [the large salle , or hall , of [the principal musical society]2103-the principal musical society]2102-the large salle , or hall , of the principal musical society . [The most advanced of [the pupils of the Conservatoire]2105-the pupils of the conservatoire]2104-the most advanced of the pupils of the conservatoire were to perform : it was to be followed by a lottery " au benefice des pauvres ; "[506-my godmother] and to crown all , [the King]1283-the king , [Queen]2107-queen , and [Prince of Labassecour]304-prince of labassecour were to be present . [Graham]135-graham , in sending tickets , had enjoined attention to costume as a compliment due to [royalty]2108-royalty : [he]135-graham also recommended punctual readiness by [seven o'clock]2109-seven o'clock . About six , [I]0-i was ushered [upstairs]4304-upstairs . Without any force at all , [I]0-i found [myself]0-i led and influenced by another 's will , unconsulted , unpersuaded , quietly overruled . In short , the pink dress went on , softened by some drapery of black lace . [I]0-i was pronounced to be en grande tenue , and requested to look in the glass . [I]0-i did so with some fear and trembling ; with more fear and trembling , [I]0-i turned away . Seven o'clock struck ; [Dr. Bretton]135-graham was come ; [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother and [I]0-i went down . [She]506-my godmother was clad in brown velvet ; as [I]0-i walked in [her]506-my godmother shadow , how [I]0-i envied [her]506-my godmother those folds of grave , dark majesty ! [Graham]135-graham stood in the drawing - room doorway . " [I]135-graham do hope [he]135-graham will not think [I]135-graham have been decking [myself]135-graham out to draw attention , "[135-graham] was [my]0-i uneasy aspiration . " Here , [Lucy]142-lucy , are some flowers , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham , giving [me]0-i a bouquet . [He]135-graham took no further notice of [my]0-i dress than was conveyed in a kind smile and satisfied nod , which calmed at once [my]0-i sense of shame and fear of ridicule . For the rest ; the dress was made with extreme simplicity , guiltless of flounce or furbelow ; it was but the light fabric and bright tint which scared [me]0-i , and since [Graham]135-graham found in it nothing absurd , [my]0-i own eye consented soon to become reconciled . [I]0-i suppose [people who go every night to places of public amusement]2112-people who go every night to places of public amusement , can hardly enter into the fresh gala feeling with which an opera or a concert is enjoyed by [those for whom it is a rarity]2113-those for whom it is a rarity : [I]0-i am not sure that [I]0-i expected great pleasure from the concert , having but a very vague notion of its nature , but [I]0-i liked [the drive there]2114-the drive there well . The snug comfort of [the close carriage]2115-the close carriage on a cold though fine night , the pleasure of setting out with [companions so cheerful and friendly]2116-companions so cheerful and friendly , the sight of the stars glinting fitfully through the trees as [we]2117-we rolled along [the avenue]5681-the avenue ; then the freer burst of the night - sky when [we]2117-we issued forth to [the open chaussee]2119-the open chaussee , the passage through the city gates , the lights there burning , [the guards]2120-the guards [there]512-there posted , the pretence of inspection , to which [we]2117-we there submitted , and which amused [us]2117-we so much - all these small matters had for [me]0-i , in [their]2122-their novelty , a peculiarly exhilarating charm . How much of it lay in the atmosphere of friendship diffused about [me]0-i , [I]0-i know not : [Dr. John]135-graham and [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother were both in [their]2122-their finest mood , contending animatedly with each other the whole way , and as frankly kind to [me]0-i as if [I]0-i had been of [[their]2122-their kin]2124-their kin . [Our]2117-we way lay through [some of [the best streets of [Villette]3-villette]2126-the best streets of villette]2125-some of the best streets of villette , [streets]2127-streets brightly lit , and far more lively now than at high noon . How brilliant seemed [the shops]2128-the shops ! How glad , gay , and abundant flowed the tide of life along [the broad pavement]2129-the broad pavement ! While [I]0-i looked , the thought of [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette came across [me]0-i - of [the walled - in garden]2130-the walled - in garden and [school - house]5243-school - house , and of the dark , vast " classes , "[0-i] where , as at this very hour , it was [my]0-i wo nt to wander all solitary , gazing at the stars through the high , blindless windows , and listening to the distant voice of [the reader in the refectory]2132-the reader in the refectory , monotonously exercised upon the " lecture pieuse . "[0-i] Thus must [I]0-i soon again listen and wander ; and this shadow of the future stole with timely sobriety across the radiant present . By this time [we]2117-we had got into a current of carriages all tending in one direction , and soon the front of [a great illuminated building]2133-a great illuminated building blazed before [us]2117-we . Of what [I]0-i should see within [this building]2134-this building , [I]0-i had , as before intimated , but an imperfect idea ; for no place of public entertainment had it ever been [my]0-i lot to enter yet . [We]2117-we alighted under [a portico]4707-a portico where there was a great bustle and [a great crowd]2136-a great crowd , but [I]0-i do not distinctly remember further details , until [I]0-i found [myself]0-i mounting [a majestic staircase wide and easy of ascent]2137-a majestic staircase wide and easy of ascent , deeply and softly carpeted with crimson , leading up to great doors closed solemnly , and whose panels were also crimson - clothed . [I]0-i hardly noticed by what magic these doors were made to roll back - [Dr. John]135-graham managed these points ; roll back they did , however , and within was disclosed [a hall]2138-a hall - grand , wide , and high , whose sweeping circular walls , and domed hollow ceiling , seemed to [me]0-i all dead gold thus with nice art was it stained , relieved by cornicing , fluting , and garlandry , either bright , like gold burnished , or snow - white , like alabaster , or white and gold mingled in wreaths of gilded leaves and spotless lilies : wherever drapery hung , wherever carpets were spread , or cushions placed , the sole colour employed was deep crimson . Pendent from the dome , flamed a mass that dazzled [me]0-i - a mass , [I]0-i thought , of rock - crystal , sparkling with facets , streaming with drops , ablaze with stars , and gorgeously tinged with dews of gems dissolved , or fragments of rainbows shivered . It was only the chandelier , reader , but for [me]0-i it seemed the work of [eastern genii]2139-eastern genii : [I]0-i almost looked to see if a huge , dark , cloudy hand - that of [the Slave of the Lamp]2140-the slave of the lamp - were not hovering in the lustrous and perfumed atmosphere of the cupola , guarding [its]2134-this building wondrous treasure . [We]2117-we moved on - [I]0-i was not at all conscious whither - but at some turn [we]2117-we suddenly encountered [another party]2141-another party approaching from the opposite direction . [I]0-i just now see that group , as it flashed - upon [me]0-i for one moment . [A handsome middle - aged lady in dark velvet]2142-a handsome middle - aged lady in dark velvet ; [a gentleman who might be [[her]2142-a handsome middle - aged lady in dark velvet son]532-her son]2143-a gentleman who might be her son - the best face , the finest figure , [I]0-i thought , [I]0-i had ever seen ; [a third person in a pink dress and black lace mantle]2145-a third person in a pink dress and black lace mantle . [I]0-i noted [them]2146-them all - [the third person]2147-the third person as well as [the other two]2148-the other two - and for the fraction of a moment believed [them]2146-them [all strangers]2149-all strangers , thus receiving an impartial impression of [their]2146-them appearance . But the impression was hardly felt and not fixed , before the consciousness that [I]0-i faced a great mirror , filling a compartment between two pillars , dispelled it : the party was [[our]2117-we own party]2150-our own party . Thus for the first , and perhaps only time in [my]0-i life , [I]0-i enjoyed the " giftie "[770-others] of seeing [myself]0-i as [others]770-others see [me]0-i . No need to dwell on the result . It brought a jar of discord , a pang of regret ; it was not flattering , yet , after all , [I]0-i ought to be thankful ; it might have been worse . At last , [we]2117-we were seated in places commanding a good general view of [that vast and dazzling , but warm and cheerful hall]2152-that vast and dazzling , but warm and cheerful hall . Already [it]2152-that vast and dazzling , but warm and cheerful hall was filled , and filled with a splendid assemblage . [I]0-i do not know that [the women]4558-the women were very beautiful , but [their]4558-the women dresses were so perfect ; and [foreigners]4583-foreigners , even such as are ungraceful in domestic privacy , seem to posses the art of appearing graceful in public : however blunt and boisterous those every - day and [home]542-home movements connected with peignoir and papillotes , there is a slide , a bend , a carriage of the head and arms , a mien of the mouth and eyes , kept nicely in reserve for gala use - always brought out with the grande toilette , and duly put on with the " parure . "[0-i] Some fine forms there were here and there , models of a peculiar style of beauty ; a style , [I]0-i think , never seen in [England]19-england ; a solid , firm - set , sculptural style . These shapes have no angles : a caryatid in marble is almost as flexible ; [a Phidian goddess]2156-a phidian goddess is not more perfect in a certain still and stately sort . [They]4558-the women have such features as [the Dutch painters]2157-the dutch painters give to [[their]2157-the dutch painters madonnas]2158-their madonnas : low - country classic features , regular but round , straight but stolid ; and for [their]4558-the women depth of expressionless calm , of passionless peace , a polar snow - field could alone offer a type . [Women of this order]2159-women of this order need no ornament , and [they]2159-women of this order seldom wear any ; the smooth hair , closely braided , supplies a sufficient contrast to the smoother cheek and brow ; the dress can not be too simple ; the rounded arm and perfect neck require neither bracelet nor chain . With one of these beauties [I]0-i once had the honour and rapture to be perfectly acquainted : the inert force of the deep , settled love [she]2160-her bore [herself]2160-her , was wonderful ; it could only be surpassed by [her]2160-her proud impotency to care for any other living thing . Of blood , [her]2160-her cool veins conducted no flow ; placid lymph filled and almost obstructed [her]2160-her arteries . Such a Juno as [I]0-i have described sat full in [our]2161-our view - a sort of mark for all eyes , and quite conscious that so [she]2160-her was , but proof to the magnetic influence of gaze or glance : cold , rounded , blonde , and beauteous as the white column , capitalled with gilding , which rose at [her]2160-her side . Observing that [Dr. John]135-graham 's attention was much drawn towards [her]2160-her , [I]0-i entreated [him]135-graham in a low voice " for the love of heaven to shield well [his]135-graham heart . [You]135-graham need not fall in love with [that lady]577-that lady , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , " because , [I]0-i tell [you]135-graham beforehand , [you]135-graham might die at [her]577-that lady feet , and [she]577-that lady would not love [you]135-graham again . "[0-i] " Very well , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham , " and how do [you]0-i know that the spectacle of [her]577-that lady grand insensibility might not with [me]135-graham be the strongest stimulus to homage ? The sting of desperation is , [I]135-graham think , a wonderful irritant to [my]135-graham emotions : but "[135-graham] shrugging [his]135-graham shoulders " [you]0-i know nothing about these things ; [I]0-i 'll address [myself]0-i to [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother . [Mamma]150-mamma , [I]0-i 'm in a dangerous way . "[0-i] " As if that interested [me]130-mrs. bretton ! "[130-mrs. bretton] said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . " Alas ! the cruelty of [[my]532-her son lot]5846-my lot ! "[532-her son] responded [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son . " [Never man]5847-never man had [a more unsentimental mother]5848-a more unsentimental mother than [mine]135-graham : [she]4268-my mother never seems to think that such a calamity can befall [her]4268-my mother as [a daughter - in - law]5849-a daughter - in - law . "[532-her son] " If [I]0-i do n't , it is not for want of having that same calamity held over [my]0-i head : [you]150-mamma have threatened [me]0-i with it for the last ten years . ' [Mamma]150-mamma , [I]0-i am going to be married soon ! ' was the cry before [you]150-mamma were well out of jackets . "[0-i] " But , [mother]4258-mother , one of these days it will be realized . All of a sudden , when [you]150-mamma think [you]150-mamma are most secure , [I]0-i shall go forth like [Jacob]154-jacob or [Esau]305-esau , or [any other patriarch]5851-any other patriarch , and take [me]0-i [a wife]5852-a wife : perhaps of these which are of [the daughters of [the land]1701-the land]5853-the daughters of the land . "[0-i] " At [your]150-mamma peril , [John Graham]135-graham ! that is all . "[532-her son] " [This mother of mine]5855-this mother of mine means [me]0-i to be [an old bachelor]5856-an old bachelor . What [a jealous old lady it]5857-a jealous old lady it is ! But now just look at that splendid creature in the pale blue satin dress , and hair of paler brown , with ' reflets satines ' as those of [her]5855-this mother of mine robe . Would [you]150-mamma not feel proud , [mamma]4272-mamma , if [I]0-i were to bring [that goddess]5859-that goddess [home]542-home some day , and introduce [her]5859-that goddess to [you]150-mamma as [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , [junior]5861-junior ? "[0-i] " [You]150-mamma will bring [no goddess]5862-no goddess to [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse : [that little chateau]5863-that little chateau will not contain [two mistresses]5864-two mistresses ; especially if [the second]1505-the second be of the height , bulk , and circumference of that mighty doll in wood and wax , and kid and satin . "[0-i] " [Mamma]150-mamma , [she]5859-that goddess would fill [your]150-mamma blue chair so admirably ! "[532-her son] " Fill [my]0-i chair ? [I]0-i defy [the foreign usurper]5866-the foreign usurper ! a rueful chair should it be for [her]5859-that goddess : but hush , [John Graham]135-graham ! Hold [your]150-mamma tongue , and use [your]150-mamma eyes . "[0-i] During the above skirmish , [the hall]573-the hall , which , [I]0-i had thought , seemed full at the entrance , continued to admit party after party , until the semicircle before the stage presented one dense mass of heads , sloping from floor to ceiling . [The stage]1645-the stage , too , or rather the wide temporary platform , larger than any stage , desert half an hour since , was now overflowing with life ; round two grand pianos , placed about the centre , a white flock of [young girls]2165-young girls , [the pupils of the Conservatoire]2105-the pupils of the conservatoire , had noiselessly poured . [I]0-i had noticed [their]2167-their gathering , while [Graham]135-graham and [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother were engaged in discussing [the belle]1663-the belle in blue satin , and had watched with interest the process of arraying and marshalling [them]1663-the belle . [Two gentlemen]5330-two gentlemen , in each of whom [I]0-i recognised [an acquaintance]2171-an acquaintance , officered [this virgin troop]2172-this virgin troop . [One]607-one , [an artistic - looking man , bearded , and with long hair]2174-an artistic - looking man , bearded , and with long hair , was [a noted pianiste]2175-a noted pianiste , and also [the first music- teacher in [Villette]3-villette]2176-the first music- teacher in villette ; [he]607-one attended twice a week at [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's pensionnat]2177-madame beck 's pensionnat , to give lessons to [the few pupils whose parents were rich enough to allow [[their]2178-the few pupils whose parents were rich enough to allow their daughters the privilege of his instructions daughters]2179-their daughters the privilege of [his]607-one instructions]2178-the few pupils whose parents were rich enough to allow their daughters the privilege of his instructions ; [his]607-one name was [M. Josef Emanuel]306-m. emanuel , and [he]607-one was [half - brother to [M. Paul]196-m. paul]2180-half - brother to m. paul : which [potent personage]2181-potent personage was now visible in the person of [the second gentleman]2182-the second gentleman . [M. Paul]196-m. paul amused [me]0-i ; [I]0-i smiled to [myself]0-i as [I]0-i watched [him]607-one , [he]607-one seemed so thoroughly in [his]607-one element - standing conspicuous in presence of a wide and grand assemblage , arranging , restraining , over - aweing about [one hundred young ladies]2183-one hundred young ladies . [He]607-one was , too , so perfectly in earnest - so energetic , so intent , and , above all , so of [the foreigners then resident in [Villette]3-villette]2184-the foreigners then resident in villette . [These]2185-these took possession of the crimson benches ; [the ladies]4526-the ladies were seated ; [most of [the men]4562-the men]2187-most of the men remained standing : [their]2187-most of the men sable rank , lining the background , looked like a dark foil to the splendour displayed in front . Nor was this splendour without varying light and shade and gradation : the middle distance was filled with [matrons in velvets and satins , in plumes and gems]2189-matrons in velvets and satins , in plumes and gems ; the benches in the foreground , to [the Queen]2190-the queen 's right hand , seemed devoted exclusively to [young girls]2165-young girls , the flower - perhaps , [I]0-i should rather say , the bud - of [[Villette]3-villette aristocracy]2192-villette aristocracy . Here were no jewels , no head - dresses , no velvet pile or silken sheen purity , simplicity , and aerial grace reigned in that virgin band . Young heads simply braided , and fair forms [I]0-i was going to write sylph forms , but that would have been quite untrue : several of [these " jeunes filles , "[2193-these " jeunes filles , " who had not numbered more than sixteen or seventeen years] who had not numbered more than sixteen or seventeen years]2193-these " jeunes filles , " who had not numbered more than sixteen or seventeen years , boasted contours as robust and solid as those of [a stout Englishwoman of five - and - twenty - fair forms robed in white , or pale rose , or placid blue , suggested thoughts of heaven and angels]2194-a stout englishwoman of five - and - twenty - fair forms robed in white , or pale rose , or placid blue , suggested thoughts of heaven and angels . [I]0-i knew [a couple , at least , of these " rose et blanche "[2195-a couple , at least , of these " rose et blanche " specimens of humanity] specimens of humanity]2195-a couple , at least , of these " rose et blanche " specimens of humanity . Here was [a pair of [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's late pupils]2197-madame beck 's late pupils]2196-a pair of madame beck 's late pupils - [Mesdemoiselles Mathilde]307-mesdemoiselles mathilde and [Angelique]215-angelique : [pupils who , during [their]2198-pupils who , during their last year at school last year at [school]675-school]2198-pupils who , during their last year at school , ought to have been in the first class , but whose brains never got [them]2198-pupils who , during their last year at school beyond the second division . In English , [they]2198-pupils who , during their last year at school had been under [my]0-i own charge , and hard work it was to get [them]2198-pupils who , during their last year at school to translate rationally a page of [The Vicar of [Wakefield]76-wakefield]2200-the vicar of wakefield . Also during three months [I]0-i had one of them for [my]0-i vis - a - vis at table , and the quantity of household bread , butter , and stewed fruit , [she]190-madame would habitually consume at ' second dejeuner " was a real world 's wonder - to be exceeded only by the fact of [her]190-madame actually pocketing slices [she]190-madame could not eat . Here be truths - wholesome truths , too . [I]190-madame knew [another of [these seraphs]5868-these seraphs]5867-another of these seraphs - the prettiest , or , at any rate , [the least demure and hypocritical looking of the lot]5869-the least demure and hypocritical looking of the lot : [she]190-madame was seated by [the daughter of [an English peer]5871-an english peer]5870-the daughter of an english peer , also [an honest , though haughty- looking girl]5872-an honest , though haughty- looking girl : both had entered in [the suite of [the British embassy]5874-the british embassy]5873-the suite of the british embassy . [She]190-madame i.e. [my]190-madame acquaintance had a slight , pliant figure , not at all like the forms of [the foreign damsels]5875-the foreign damsels : [her]190-madame hair , too , was not close - braided , like a shell or a skull - cap of satin ; it looked like hair , and waved from [her]190-madame head , long , curled , and flowing . [She]190-madame chatted away volubly , and seemed full of a light - headed sort of satisfaction with [herself]190-madame and [her]190-madame position . [I]190-madame did not look at [Dr. Bretton]135-graham ; but [I]190-madame knew that [he]135-graham , too , saw [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra : [he]135-graham had become so quiet , [he]135-graham answered so briefly [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's remarks , [he]135-graham so often suppressed a sigh . Why should [he]135-graham sigh ? [He]135-graham had confessed a taste for the pursuit of love under difficulties ; here was full gratification for that taste . [[His]135-graham lady]5877-his lady - love beamed upon [him]135-graham from a sphere above [his]135-graham own : [he]135-graham could not come near [her]190-madame ; [he]135-graham was not certain that [he]135-graham could win from [her]190-madame a look . [I]190-madame watched to see if [she]190-madame would so far favour [him]135-graham . [Our]5878-our seat was not far from the crimson benches ; [we]5878-our must inevitably be seen thence , by eyes so quick and roving as [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's , and very soon those optics of [hers]190-madame were upon [us]5878-our : at least , upon [Dr.]135-graham and [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . [I]190-madame kept rather in the shade and out of sight , not wishing to be immediately recognised : [she]190-madame looked quite steadily at [Dr. John]135-graham , and then [she]190-madame raised a glass to examine [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother ; a minute or two afterwards [she]190-madame laughingly whispered [[her]190-madame neighbour]5880-her neighbour ; upon the performance commencing , [her]190-madame rambling attention was attracted to the platform . On the concert [I]190-madame need not dwell ; [the reader]759-the reader would not care to have [my]190-madame impressions thereanent : and , indeed , it would not be worth while to record them , as they were the impressions of [an ignorance crasse]5882-an ignorance crasse . [The young ladies of the Conservatoire]5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire , being very much frightened , made rather a tremulous exhibition on the two grand pianos . [M. Josef Emanuel]306-m. emanuel stood by [them]5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire while [they]5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire played ; but [he]306-m. emanuel had not the tact or influence of [[his]306-m. emanuel kinsman]5884-his kinsman , who , under similar circumstances , would certainly have compelled [pupils of [his]306-m. emanuel]5885-pupils of his to demean [themselves]5885-pupils of his with heroism and self - possession . [M. Paul]196-m. paul would have placed [the hysteric debutantes]5886-the hysteric debutantes between two fires - terror of [the audience]1788-the audience , and terror of [himself]306-m. emanuel - and would have inspired [them]5883-the young ladies of the conservatoire with the courage of desperation , by making the latter terror incomparably the greater : [M. Josef]306-m. emanuel could not do this . Following [the white muslin pianistes]5888-the white muslin pianistes , came [a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin]5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin . [She]5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin sang . [Her]5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin singing just affected [me]190-madame like the tricks of [a conjuror]5890-a conjuror : [I]190-madame wondered how [she]5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin did it - how [she]5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin made [her]5889-a fine , full - grown , sulky lady in white satin voice run up and down , and cut such marvellous capers ; but a simple Scotch melody , played by [a rude street minstrel]5891-a rude street minstrel , has often moved [me]190-madame more deeply . Afterwards stepped forth [a gentleman]629-a gentleman , who , bending [his]629-a gentleman body a good deal in the direction of [the King]1283-the king and [Queen]2107-queen , and frequently approaching [his]629-a gentleman white - gloved hand to the region of [his]629-a gentleman heart , vented a bitter outcry against a certain "[190-madame] fausse [Isabelle]221-isabelle . " [I]221-isabelle thought [he]629-a gentleman seemed especially to solicit [the Queen]2190-the queen 's sympathy ; but , unless [I]221-isabelle am egregiously mistaken , [[her]2190-the queen Majesty]5896-her majesty lent [her]2190-the queen attention rather with the calm of courtesy than the earnestness of interest . [This gentleman]5897-this gentleman 's state of mind was very harrowing , and [I]221-isabelle was glad when [he]5897-this gentleman wound up [his]5897-this gentleman musical exposition of the same . Some rousing choruses struck [me]221-isabelle as the best part of the evening 's entertainment . There were [present deputies from [all the best provincial choral societies]5899-all the best provincial choral societies]5898-present deputies from all the best provincial choral societies ; genuine , barrel - shaped , native Labassecouriens . [These worthies]5900-these worthies gave voice without mincing the matter [their]5900-these worthies hearty exertions had at least this good result - the ear drank thence a satisfying sense of power . Through the whole performance - timid instrumental duets , conceited vocal solos , sonorous , brass - lunged choruses - [my]221-isabelle attention gave but one eye and one ear to the stage , the other being permanently retained in the service of [Dr. Bretton]135-graham : [I]221-isabelle could not forget [him]5897-this gentleman , nor cease to question how [he]5897-this gentleman was feeling , what [he]5897-this gentleman was thinking , whether [he]5897-this gentleman was amused or the contrary . At last [he]5897-this gentleman spoke . "[221-isabelle] And how do [you]2201-you like it all , [Lucy]142-lucy ? [You]2201-you are very quiet , " [he]5897-this gentleman said , in [his]5897-this gentleman own cheerful tone . "[2201-you] [I]0-i am quiet , " [I]0-i said , "[0-i] because [I]0-i am so very , very much interested : not merely with the music , but with everything about [me]0-i . " [He]5897-this gentleman then proceeded to make some further remarks , with so much equanimity and composure that [I]179-ginevra began to think [he]5897-this gentleman had really not seen what [I]179-ginevra had seen , and [I]179-ginevra whispered - "[179-ginevra] [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra is here : have [you]2202-you noticed [her]179-ginevra ? " "[2202-you] Oh , yes ! and [I]0-i observed that [you]2202-you noticed [her]179-ginevra too ? " "[179-ginevra] Is [she]179-ginevra come with [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley , do [you]2202-you think ? " "[2202-you] [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley is there with [a very grand party]2203-a very grand party . Yes ; [Ginevra]179-ginevra was in [[her]179-ginevra train]2204-her train ; and [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley was in [Lady]2205-lady - - 's train , who was in [[the Queen]2190-the queen 's train]2207-the queen 's train . If this were not one of the compact little minor [European courts , whose very formalities are little more imposing than familiarities]2208-european courts , whose very formalities are little more imposing than familiarities , and whose gala grandeur is but homeliness in [Sunday array]2209-sunday array , it would sound all very fine . " "[179-ginevra] [Ginevra]179-ginevra saw [you]2202-you , [I]0-i think ? " "[179-ginevra] So do [I]0-i think so . [I]0-i have had [my]0-i eye on [her]179-ginevra several times since [you]2202-you withdrew [yours]2202-you ; and [I]0-i have had the honour of witnessing a little spectacle which [you]2202-you were spared . " [I]179-ginevra did not ask what ; [I]179-ginevra waited voluntary information , which was presently given . "[179-ginevra] [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , " [he]0-i said , "[179-ginevra] has [a companion with [her]179-ginevra]2210-a companion with her - [a lady of rank]2211-a lady of rank . [I]0-i happen to know [Lady Sara]308-lady sara by sight ; [[her]308-lady sara noble mother]2212-her noble mother has called [me]0-i in professionally . [She]308-lady sara is [a proud girl]2213-a proud girl , but not in the least insolent , and [I]0-i doubt whether [Ginevra]179-ginevra will have gained ground in [her]179-ginevra estimation by making a butt of [[her]179-ginevra neighbours]2214-her neighbours . " "[2214-her neighbours] What neighbours ? " "[0-i] Merely [myself]0-i and [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother . As to [me]0-i it is all very natural : nothing , [I]0-i suppose , can be fairer game than [the young bourgeois doctor]2216-the young bourgeois doctor ; but [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother ! [I]0-i never saw [her]4268-my mother ridiculed before . Do [you]2218-you know , the curling lip , and sarcastically levelled glass thus directed , gave [me]0-i a most curious sensation ? " "[135-graham] Think nothing of it , [Dr. John]135-graham : it is not worth while . If [Ginevra]179-ginevra were in a giddy mood , as [she]179-ginevra is eminently to - night , [she]179-ginevra would make no scruple of laughing at [that mild , pensive Queen]2219-that mild , pensive queen , or [that melancholy King]2220-that melancholy king . [She]179-ginevra is not actuated by malevolence , but sheer , heedless folly . To [a feather - brained school - girl]2221-a feather - brained school - girl nothing is sacred . " "[2221-a feather - brained school - girl] But [you]2218-you forget : [I]0-i have not been accustomed to look on [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra in the light of [a feather - brained school - girl]2221-a feather - brained school - girl . Was [she]179-ginevra not [my]0-i divinity - [the angel of [my]0-i career]2223-the angel of my career ? " "[309-hem] [Hem]309-hem ! There was [your]309-hem mistake . " "[309-hem] To speak the honest truth , without any false rant or assumed romance , there actually was a moment , six months ago , when [I]0-i thought [her]179-ginevra divine . Do [you]2218-you remember [our]2224-our conversation about the presents ? [I]0-i was not quite open with [you]2218-you in discussing that subject : the warmth with which [you]2218-you took it up amused [me]0-i . By way of having the full benefit of [your]2218-you lights , [I]0-i allowed [you]2218-you to think [me]0-i more in the dark than [I]0-i really was . It was that test of the presents which first proved [Ginevra]179-ginevra mortal . Still [her]179-ginevra beauty retained its fascination : three days - three hours ago , [I]0-i was very much [[her]179-ginevra slave]2225-her slave . As [she]179-ginevra passed [me]0-i to - night , triumphant in beauty , [my]0-i emotions did [her]179-ginevra homage ; but for one luckless sneer , [I]0-i should yet be [the humblest of [[her]179-ginevra servants]2227-her servants]2226-the humblest of her servants . [She]179-ginevra might have scoffed at [me]0-i , and , while wounding , [she]179-ginevra would not soon have alienated [me]0-i : through [myself]0-i , [she]179-ginevra could not in ten years have done what , in a moment , [she]179-ginevra has done through [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother . " [He]0-i held [his]0-i peace awhile . Never before had [I]142-lucy seen so much fire , and so little sunshine in [Dr. John]135-graham 's blue eye as just now . "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy , " [he]0-i recommenced , "[142-lucy] look well at [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother , and say , without fear or favour , in what light [she]179-ginevra now appears to [you]142-lucy . " "[179-ginevra] As [she]179-ginevra always does - an English , middle - class gentlewoman ; well , though gravely dressed , habitually independent of pretence , constitutionally composed and cheerful . " "[179-ginevra] So [she]179-ginevra seems to [me]0-i - bless [her]179-ginevra ! [The merry]2230-the merry may laugh with [mamma]4272-mamma , but [the weak]2232-the weak only will laugh at [her]179-ginevra . [She]179-ginevra shall not be ridiculed , with [my]0-i consent , at least ; nor without [my]0-i - [my]0-i scorn - [my]0-i antipathy - [my]0-i - " [He]0-i stopped : and it was time - for [he]0-i was getting excited - more it seemed than the occasion warranted . [I]0-i did not then know that [he]0-i had witnessed double cause for dissatisfaction with [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra . The glow of [his]0-i complexion , the expansion of [his]0-i nostril , the bold curve which disdain gave [his]0-i well - cut under lip , showed [him]0-i in a new and striking phase . Yet the rare passion of [the constitutionally suave and serene]5901-the constitutionally suave and serene , is not a pleasant spectacle ; nor did [I]0-i like the sort of vindictive thrill which passed through [his]0-i strong young frame . "[0-i] Do [I]0-i frighten [you]2233-you , [Lucy]142-lucy ? " [he]0-i asked . "[142-lucy] [I]0-i can not tell why [you]2233-you are so very angry . " "[2233-you] For this reason , " [he]0-i muttered in [my]2233-you ear . "[2233-you] [Ginevra]179-ginevra is neither [a pure angel]2234-a pure angel , nor [a pure - minded woman]2235-a pure - minded woman . " "[2235-a pure - minded woman] Nonsense ! [you]0-i exaggerate : [she]179-ginevra has no great harm in [her]179-ginevra . " "[0-i] Too much for [me]0-i . [I]0-i can see where [you]2233-you are blind . Now dismiss the subject . Let [me]0-i amuse [myself]0-i by teasing [mamma]4272-mamma : [I]0-i will assert that [she]179-ginevra is flagging . [Mamma]150-mamma , pray rouse [yourself]150-mamma . " "[135-graham] [John]135-graham , [I]0-i will certainly rouse [you]2233-you if [you]2233-you are not better conducted . Will [you]2233-you and [Lucy]142-lucy be silent , that [I]0-i may hear the singing ? " [They]5902-they were then thundering in a chorus , under cover of which all the previous dialogue had taken place . "[150-mamma] [You]150-mamma hear the singing , [mamma]4272-mamma ! Now , [I]0-i will wager [my]0-i studs , which are genuine , against [your]150-mamma paste brooch - " "[0-i] [My]0-i paste brooch , [Graham]135-graham ? [Profane boy]2238-profane boy ! [you]2233-you know that it is a stone of value . " "[0-i] Oh ! that is one of [your]2233-you superstitions : [you]2233-you were cheated in the business . " "[2233-you] [I]0-i am cheated in fewer things than [you]2233-you imagine . How do [you]2233-you happen to be acquainted with [young ladies of the court]2239-young ladies of the court , [John]135-graham ? [I]0-i have observed two of [them]2239-young ladies of the court pay [you]2233-you no small attention during the last half - hour . " "[2239-young ladies of the court] [I]0-i wish [you]2233-you would not observe [them]2239-young ladies of the court . " "[2233-you] Why not ? Because one of [them]2239-young ladies of the court satirically levels [her]2240-her eyeglass at [me]0-i ? [She]2240-her is [a pretty , silly girl]2241-a pretty , silly girl : but are [you]2233-you apprehensive that [her]2240-her titter will discomfit [the old lady]1842-the old lady ? " "[2233-you] [The sensible , admirable old lady]2243-the sensible , admirable old lady ! [Mother]228-mother wisdom , [you]2233-you are better to [me]0-i than [ten wives]2244-ten wives yet . " "[228-mother wisdom] Do n't be demonstrative , [John]135-graham , or [I]0-i shall faint , and [you]2233-you will have to carry [me]0-i out ; and if that burden were laid upon [you]2233-you , [you]2233-you would reverse [your]2233-you last speech , and exclaim , ' [Mother]4258-mother , [ten wives]2244-ten wives could hardly be worse to [me]0-i than [you]2233-you are ! ' " The concert over , the Lottery "[2233-you] au benefice des pauvres " came next : the interval between was one of general relaxation , and the pleasantest imaginable stir and commotion . [The white flock]5903-the white flock was cleared from [the platform]5904-the platform ; a busy throng of [gentlemen]4709-gentlemen crowded it instead , making arrangements for the drawing ; and amongst these - the busiest of all - re - appeared that certain well - known form , [not tall but active , alive with the energy and movement of three tall men]5906-not tall but active , alive with the energy and movement of three tall men . How [M. Paul]196-m. paul did work ! How [he]196-m. paul issued directions , and , at the same time , set [his]196-m. paul own shoulder to the wheel ! [Half - a - dozen assistants]5907-half - a - dozen assistants were at [his]196-m. paul beck to remove the pianos , c. ; no matter , [he]196-m. paul must add to [their]5907-half - a - dozen assistants strength [his]196-m. paul own . The redundancy of [his]196-m. paul alertness was half - vexing , half - ludicrous : in [my]2233-you mind [I]2233-you both disapproved and derided most of this fuss . Yet , in the midst of prejudice and annoyance , [I]2233-you could not , while watching , avoid perceiving a certain not disagreeable naivete in all [he]196-m. paul did and said ; nor could [I]2233-you be blind to certain vigorous characteristics of [his]196-m. paul physiognomy , rendered conspicuous now by the contrast with [a throng of tamer faces]5908-a throng of tamer faces : the deep , intent keenness of [his]196-m. paul eye , the power of [his]196-m. paul forehead , pale , broad , and full - the mobility of [his]196-m. paul most flexible mouth . [He]196-m. paul lacked the calm of force , but its movement and its fire [he]196-m. paul signally possessed . Meantime [the whole hall]5909-the whole hall was in a stir ; [most people]5910-most people rose and remained standing , for a change ; [some]5400-some walked about , all talked and laughed . [The crimson compartment]5912-the crimson compartment presented a peculiarly animated scene . The long cloud of [gentlemen , breaking into fragments]5913-gentlemen , breaking into fragments , mixed with the rainbow line of [ladies]622-ladies ; [two or three officer - like men]5915-two or three officer - like men approached [the King]1283-the king and conversed with [him]1283-the king . [The Queen]2190-the queen , leaving [her]2190-the queen chair , glided along the rank of [young ladies]5918-young ladies , who all stood up as [she]2190-the queen passed ; and to each in turn [I]2233-you saw [her]2190-the queen vouchsafe some token of kindness - a gracious word , look or smile . To [the two pretty English girls]5919-the two pretty english girls , [Lady Sara]308-lady sara and [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , [she]2190-the queen addressed several sentences ; as [she]2190-the queen left [them]5919-the two pretty english girls , both , and especially [the latter]541-the latter , seemed to glow all over with gratification . [They]5919-the two pretty english girls were afterwards accosted by [several ladies]5921-several ladies , and [a little circle of [gentlemen]4709-gentlemen]5922-a little circle of gentlemen gathered round [them]5919-the two pretty english girls ; amongst these - the nearest to [Ginevra]179-ginevra - stood [the Count de Hamal]310-the count de hamal . "[2233-you] [This room]740-this room is stiflingly hot , " said [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , rising with sudden impatience . "[2233-you] [Lucy]142-lucy - [mother]4258-mother - will [you]142-lucy come a moment to the fresh air ? " "[4258-mother] Go with [him]2249-him , [Lucy]142-lucy , " said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . "[142-lucy] [I]0-i would rather keep [my]0-i seat . " [Willingly]311-willingly would [I]142-lucy have kept [mine]142-lucy also , but [Graham]135-graham 's desire must take precedence of [my]142-lucy own ; [I]142-lucy accompanied [him]135-graham . [We]5924-we found the night - air keen ; or at least [I]142-lucy did : [he]135-graham did not seem to feel it ; but it was very still , and the star - sown sky spread cloudless . [I]142-lucy was wrapped in a fur shawl . [We]5924-we took some turns on [the pavement]5925-the pavement ; in passing under a lamp , [Graham]135-graham encountered [my]142-lucy eye . "[142-lucy] [You]142-lucy look pensive , [Lucy]142-lucy : is it on [my]0-i account ? " "[142-lucy] [I]0-i was only fearing that [you]0-i were grieved . " "[142-lucy] Not at all : so be of good cheer - as [I]0-i am . Whenever [I]0-i die , [Lucy]142-lucy , [my]0-i persuasion is that it will not be of heart - complaint . [I]0-i may be stung , [I]0-i may seem to droop for a time , but no pain or malady of sentiment has yet gone through [my]0-i whole system . [You]0-i have always seen [me]0-i cheerful at [home]542-home ? " "[0-i] Generally . " "[0-i] [I]0-i am glad [she]2251-she laughed at [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother . [I]0-i would not give [the old lady]1842-the old lady for a dozen beauties . That sneer did [me]0-i all the good in [the world]811-the world . Thank [you]0-i , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra ! " And [he]0-i lifted [his]0-i hat from [his]0-i waved locks , and made a mock reverence . "[179-ginevra] Yes , " [he]0-i said , "[0-i] [I]0-i thank [her]2251-she . [She]2251-she has made [me]0-i feel that nine parts in ten of [my]0-i heart have always been sound as a bell , and the tenth bled from a mere puncture : a lancet - prick that will heal in a trice . " "[0-i] [You]0-i are angry just now , heated and indignant ; [you]0-i will think and feel differently to - morrow . " "[0-i] [I]0-i heated and indignant ! [You]0-i do n't know [me]0-i . On the contrary , the heat is gone : [I]0-i am as cool as the night - which , by the way , may be too cool for [you]0-i . [We]2255-we will go back . " "[135-graham] [Dr. John]135-graham , this is a sudden change . " "[135-graham] Not it : or if it be , there are good reasons for it - two good reasons : [I]0-i have told [you]0-i one . But now let [us]2255-we re - enter . " [We]2255-we did not easily regain [our]2255-we seats ; the lottery was begun , and all was excited confusion ; [crowds]5926-crowds blocked the sort of corridor along which [we]2255-we had to pass : it was necessary to pause for a time . [Happening]312-happening to glance round - indeed [I]142-lucy half fancied [I]142-lucy heard [my]142-lucy name pronounced - [I]142-lucy saw quite near , the ubiquitous , [the inevitable M. Paul]196-m. paul . [He]135-graham was looking at [me]142-lucy gravely and intently : at [me]142-lucy , or rather at [my]142-lucy pink dress - sardonic comment on which gleamed in [his]135-graham eye . Now it was [his]135-graham habit to indulge in strictures on the dress , both of [the teachers]4800-the teachers and [pupils]4924-pupils , at [Madame Beck]190-madame 's - a habit which [the former]4883-the former , at least , held to be an offensive impertinence : as yet [I]142-lucy had not suffered from it - [my]142-lucy sombre daily attire not being calculated to attract notice . [I]142-lucy was in no mood to permit any new encroachment to - night : rather than accept [his]135-graham banter , [I]142-lucy would ignore [his]135-graham presence , and accordingly steadily turned [my]142-lucy face to the sleeve of [Dr. John]135-graham 's coat ; finding in that same black sleeve a prospect more redolent of pleasure and comfort , more genial , more friendly , [I]142-lucy thought , than was offered by [the dark little Professor]5930-the dark little professor 's unlovely visage . [Dr. John]135-graham seemed unconsciously to sanction the preference by looking down and saying in [his]0-i kind voice , "[142-lucy] Ay , keep close to [my]0-i side , [Lucy]142-lucy : [these crowding burghers]2256-these crowding burghers are [no respecters of [persons]1284-persons]2257-no respecters of persons . " [I]142-lucy could not , however , be true to [myself]142-lucy . Yielding to some influence , mesmeric or otherwise - an influence unwelcome , displeasing , but effective - [I]142-lucy again glanced round to see if [M. Paul]196-m. paul was gone . No , there [he]135-graham stood on the same spot , looking still , but with a changed eye ; [he]135-graham had penetrated [my]142-lucy thought , and read [my]142-lucy wish to shun [him]135-graham . The mocking but not ill - humoured gaze was turned to a swarthy frown , and when [I]142-lucy bowed , with a view to conciliation , [I]142-lucy got only the stiffest and sternest of nods in return . "[142-lucy] Whom have [you]142-lucy made angry , [Lucy]142-lucy ? " whispered [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , smiling . "[142-lucy] Who is [that savage - looking friend of [yours]142-lucy]2259-that savage - looking friend of yours ? " "[2260-one of the professors at madame beck 's] [One of [the professors at [Madame Beck]190-madame 's]2261-the professors at madame beck 's]2260-one of the professors at madame beck 's : [a very cross little man]2262-a very cross little man . " "[2262-a very cross little man] [He]2262-a very cross little man looks mighty cross just now : what have [you]142-lucy done to [him]2262-a very cross little man ? What is it all about ? Ah , [Lucy]142-lucy , [Lucy]142-lucy ! tell [me]0-i the meaning of this . " "[142-lucy] No mystery , [I]0-i assure [you]142-lucy . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul is very exigeant , and because [I]0-i looked at [your]142-lucy coat - sleeve , instead of curtseying and dipping to [him]2262-a very cross little man , [he]2262-a very cross little man thinks [I]0-i have failed in respect . " "[2263-the little] [The little]2263-the little - " began [Dr. John]135-graham : [I]2263-the little know not what more [he]2263-the little would have added , for at that moment [I]2263-the little was nearly thrown down amongst the feet of [the crowd]5310-the crowd . [M. Paul]196-m. paul had rudely pushed past , and was elbowing [his]2263-the little way with such utter disregard to the convenience and security of all around , that a very uncomfortable pressure was the consequence . "[2263-the little] [I]0-i think [he]2263-the little is what [he]2263-the little [himself]2263-the little would call ' mechant , ' " said [Dr. Bretton]135-graham . [I]2263-the little thought so , too . Slowly and with difficulty [we]5932-we made [our]5932-we way along [the passage]4310-the passage , and at last regained [our]5932-we seats . The drawing of the lottery lasted nearly an hour ; it was an animating and amusing scene ; and as [we]5932-we each held tickets , [we]5932-we shared in the alternations of hope and fear raised by each turn of the wheel . [Two little girls , of five and six years old]5934-two little girls , of five and six years old , drew the numbers : and the prizes were duly proclaimed from the platform . These prizes were numerous , though of small value . It so fell out that [Dr. John]135-graham and [I]2263-the little each gained one : [mine]2263-the little was a cigar - case , [his]2263-the little [a lady]1639-a lady 's head - dress - a most airy sort of blue and silver turban , with a streamer of plumage on one side , like a snowy cloud . [He]2263-the little was excessively anxious to make an exchange ; but [I]2263-the little could not be brought to hear reason , and to this day [I]2263-the little keep [my]2263-the little cigar - case : it serves , when [I]2263-the little look at it , to remind [me]2263-the little of old times , and one happy evening . [Dr. John]135-graham , for [his]135-graham part , held [his]135-graham turban at arm 's length between [his]135-graham finger and thumb , and looked at it with a mixture of reverence and embarrassment highly provocative of laughter . The contemplation over , [he]135-graham was about coolly to deposit the delicate fabric on the ground between [his]135-graham feet ; [he]135-graham seemed to have no shadow of an idea of the treatment or stowage it ought to receive : if [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother had not come to the rescue , [I]2263-the little think [he]135-graham would finally have crushed it under [his]135-graham arm like an opera - hat ; [she]534-his mother restored it to the band - box whence it had issued . [Graham]135-graham was quite cheerful all the evening , and [his]135-graham cheerfulness seemed natural and unforced . [His]135-graham demeanour , [his]135-graham look , is not easily described ; there was something in it peculiar , and , in its way , original . [I]2263-the little read in it no common mastery of the passions , and a fund of deep and healthy strength which , without any exhausting effort , bore down [Disappointment]242-disappointment and extracted [her]534-his mother fang . [His]135-graham manner , now , reminded [me]2263-the little of qualities [I]2263-the little had noticed in [him]135-graham when professionally engaged amongst [the poor]5937-the poor , [the guilty]5938-the guilty , and the suffering , in [the Basse- Ville]5939-the basse- ville : [he]135-graham looked at once determined , enduring , and sweet - tempered . Who could help liking [him]135-graham ? [He]135-graham betrayed no weakness which harassed all [your]5940-your feelings with considerations as to how its faltering must be propped ; from [him]135-graham broke no irritability which startled calm and quenched mirth ; [his]135-graham lips let fall no caustic that burned to the bone ; [his]135-graham eye shot no morose shafts that went cold , and rusty , and venomed through [your]5940-your heart : beside [him]135-graham was rest and refuge - around [him]135-graham , fostering sunshine . And yet [he]135-graham had neither forgiven nor forgotten [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra . Once angered , [I]2263-the little doubt if [Dr. Bretton]135-graham were to be soon propitiated - once alienated , whether [he]135-graham were ever to be reclaimed . [He]135-graham looked at [her]179-ginevra more than once ; not stealthily or humbly , but with a movement of hardy , open observation . [De Hamal]271-de hamal was now a fixture beside [her]179-ginevra ; [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley sat near , and [they]5941-they and [she]179-ginevra were wholly absorbed in the discourse , mirth , and excitement , with which the crimson seats were as much astir as any plebeian part of [the hall]573-the hall . In the course of some apparently animated discussion , [Ginevra]271-de hamal once or twice lifted [her]271-de hamal hand and arm ; a handsome bracelet gleamed upon the latter . [I]2263-the little saw that its gleam flickered in [Dr. John]135-graham 's eye - quickening therein a derisive , ireful sparkle ; [he]0-i laughed : - - "[2263-the little] [I]0-i think , " [he]0-i said , "[0-i] [I]0-i will lay [my]0-i turban on [my]0-i wonted altar of offerings ; there , at any rate , it would be certain to find favour : [no grisette]2264-no grisette has a more facile faculty of acceptance . Strange ! for after all , [I]0-i know [she]2265-she is [a girl of family]2266-a girl of family . " "[0-i] But [you]0-i do n't know [her]2265-she education , [Dr. John]135-graham , " said [I.]0-i "[135-graham] Tossed about all [her]2265-she life from [one foreign school]2267-one foreign school to another , [she]2265-she may justly proffer the plea of ignorance in extenuation of most of [her]2265-she faults . And then , from what [she]2265-she says , [I]0-i believe [[her]2265-she father]643-her father and [mother]4258-mother were brought up much as [she]2265-she has been brought up . " "[4258-mother] [I]0-i always understood [she]2265-she had no fortune ; and once [I]0-i had pleasure in the thought , " said [he]0-i . "[2265-she] [She]2265-she tells [me]0-i , " [I]2265-she answered , "[2265-she] that [they]2270-they are poor at [home]542-home ; [she]2265-she always speaks quite candidly on such points : [you]2272-you never find [her]2265-she lying , as [these foreigners]2273-these foreigners will often lie . [[Her]2265-she parents]4933-her parents have [a large family]2275-a large family : [they]4933-her parents occupy such a station and possess such connections as , in [their]4933-her parents opinion , demand display ; stringent necessity of circumstances and inherent thoughtlessness of disposition combined , have engendered reckless unscrupulousness as to how [they]4933-her parents obtain the means of sustaining a good appearance . This is the state of things , and the only state of things , [she]2265-she has seen from childhood upwards . " "[0-i] [I]0-i believe it - and [I]0-i thought to mould [her]2265-she to something better : but , [Lucy]142-lucy , to speak the plain truth , [I]0-i have felt a new thing to - night , in looking at [her]2265-she and [de Hamal]271-de hamal . [I]0-i felt it before noticing the impertinence directed at [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother . [I]0-i saw a look interchanged between [them]4933-her parents immediately after [their]4933-her parents entrance , which threw a most unwelcome light on [my]0-i mind . " "[0-i] How do [you]0-i mean ? [You]0-i have been long aware of the flirtation [they]4933-her parents keep up ? " "[0-i] Ay , flirtation ! That might be [an innocent girlish wile]2277-an innocent girlish wile to lure on [the true lover]2278-the true lover ; but what [I]0-i refer to was not flirtation : it was a look marking mutual and secret understanding - it was neither girlish nor innocent . [No woman]2279-no woman , were [she]2265-she as beautiful as [Aphrodite]313-aphrodite , who could give or receive such a glance , shall ever be sought in marriage by [me]0-i : [I]0-i would rather [we]2280-we d a paysanne in a short petticoat and high cap - and be sure that [she]2265-she was honest . " [I]2265-she could not help smiling . [I]2265-she felt sure [he]0-i now exaggerated the case : [Ginevra]271-de hamal , [I]2265-she was certain , was honest enough , with all [her]271-de hamal giddiness . [I]2265-she told [him]0-i so . [He]0-i shook [his]0-i head , and said [he]0-i would not be [the man]4959-the man to trust [her]2265-she with [his]0-i honour . "[2265-she] The only thing , " said [I]2265-she , "[2265-she] with which [you]2281-you may safely trust [her]2265-she . [She]2265-she would unscrupulously damage [a husband]1335-a husband 's purse and property , recklessly try [his]1335-a husband patience and temper : [I]0-i do n't think [she]2265-she would breathe , or let another breathe , on [his]1335-a husband honour . " "[2265-she] [You]0-i are becoming [[her]2265-she advocate]2283-her advocate , " said [he]1335-a husband . "[0-i] Do [you]0-i wish [me]0-i to resume [my]0-i old chains ? " "[0-i] No : [I]0-i am glad to see [you]2281-you free , and trust that free [you]2281-you will long remain . Yet be , at the same time , just . " "[0-i] [I]0-i am so : just as [Rhadamanthus]314-rhadamanthus , [Lucy]142-lucy . When once [I]0-i am thoroughly estranged , [I]0-i can not help being severe . But look ! [the King]1283-the king and [Queen]2107-queen are rising . [I]0-i like [that Queen]2286-that queen : [she]2286-that queen has a sweet countenance . [Mamma]150-mamma , too , is excessively tired ; [we]2287-we shall never get [the old lady]1842-the old lady [home]542-home if [we]2287-we stay longer . " "[0-i] [I]0-i tired , [John]135-graham ? " cried [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , looking at least as animated and as wide - awake as [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son . "[135-graham] [I]0-i would undertake to sit [you]135-graham out yet : leave [us]2287-we both here till morning , and [we]2287-we should see which would look the most jaded by sunrise . " "[0-i] [I]0-i should not like to try the experiment ; for , in truth , [mamma]4272-mamma , [you]4272-mamma are the most unfading of evergreens and the freshest of [matrons]2291-matrons . It must then be on the plea of [[your]0-i son]700-your son 's delicate nerves and fragile constitution that [I]0-i found a petition for [our]2287-we speedy adjournment . " "[2293-indolent young man] [Indolent young man]2293-indolent young man ! [You]4272-mamma wish [you]4272-mamma were in bed , no doubt ; and [I]0-i suppose [you]4272-mamma must be humoured . There is [Lucy]142-lucy , too , looking quite done up . For shame , [Lucy]142-lucy ! At [your]142-lucy age , a week of evenings - out would not have made [me]0-i a shade paler . Come away , both of [you]142-lucy ; and [you]142-lucy may laugh at [the old lady]1842-the old lady as much as [you]142-lucy please , but , for [my]0-i part , [I]0-i shall take charge of the bandbox and turban . " Which [she]142-lucy did accordingly . [I]0-i offered to relieve [her]142-lucy , but was shaken off with kindly contempt : [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother opined that [I]0-i had enough to do to take care of [myself]0-i . Not standing on ceremony now , in the midst of the gay "[0-i] confusion worse confounded " succeeding to [the King and Queen]5946-the king and queen 's departure , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton preceded [us]5947-we , and promptly made [us]5947-we a lane through [the crowd]5310-the crowd . [Graham]135-graham followed , apostrophizing [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother as the most flourishing grisette it had ever been [his]135-graham good fortune to see charged with [carriage of a bandbox]5950-carriage of a bandbox ; [he]135-graham also desired [me]142-lucy to mark [her]534-his mother affection for the sky - blue turban , and announced [his]135-graham conviction that [she]534-his mother intended one day to wear it . The night was now very cold and very dark , but with little delay [we]5947-we found [the carriage]5783-the carriage . Soon [we]5947-we were packed in [it]5783-the carriage , as warm and as snug as at a fire - side ; and [the drive]5952-the drive [home]542-home was , [I]142-lucy think , still pleasanter than the drive to the concert . Pleasant it was , even though [the coachman]4503-the coachman - having spent in [the shop of a "[142-lucy] marchand de vin]5955-the shop of a " marchand de vin " a portion of the time [we]5947-we passed at the concert - drove [us]5947-we along [the dark and solitary chaussee]5956-the dark and solitary chaussee far past the turn leading down to [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse ; [we]5947-we , who were occupied in talking and laughing , not noticing the aberration till , at last , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton intimated that , though [she]130-mrs. bretton had always thought [the chateau]5779-the chateau [a retired spot]5958-a retired spot , [she]130-mrs. bretton did not know [it]5779-the chateau was situated at [the world]811-the world 's end , as [she]130-mrs. bretton declared seemed now to be the case , for [she]130-mrs. bretton believed [we]5947-we had been an hour and a half en route , and had not yet taken the turn down [the avenue]5681-the avenue . Then [Graham]135-graham looked out , and perceiving only dim - spread fields , with unfamiliar rows of pollards and limes ranged along [their]5961-their else invisible sunk - fences , began to conjecture how matters were , and calling a halt and descending , [he]135-graham mounted the box and took the reins [himself]135-graham . Thanks to [him]135-graham , [we]5947-we arrived safe at [home]542-home about an hour and a half beyond [our]5947-we time . [Martha]286-martha had not forgotten [us]5947-we ; a cheerful fire was burning , and a neat supper spread in [the dining - room]4338-the dining - room : [we]5947-we were glad of both . The winter dawn was actually breaking before [we]5947-we gained [[our]5947-we chambers]5964-our chambers . [I]142-lucy took off [my]142-lucy pink dress and lace mantle with happier feelings than [I]142-lucy had experienced in putting them on . [Not all , perhaps , who had shone brightly arrayed at that concert]5965-not all , perhaps , who had shone brightly arrayed at that concert could say the same ; for [not all]5966-not all had been satisfied with friendship - with its calm comfort and modest hope . CHAPTER XXI . REACTION . Yet three days , and then [I]142-lucy must go back to [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat . [I]142-lucy almost numbered the moments of these days upon the clock ; [fain]5968-fain would [I]142-lucy have retarded [their]5969-their flight ; but [they]5969-their glided by while [I]142-lucy watched [them]5969-their : [they]5969-their were already gone while [I]142-lucy yet feared [their]5969-their departure . "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy will not leave [us]2295-us to - day , " said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , coaxingly at breakfast ; ' [she]142-lucy knows [we]2295-us can procure a second respite . "[142-lucy] " [I]2296-i would not ask for one if [I]2296-i might have it for a word , "[2296-i] said [I.]2296-i " [I]2296-i long to get the good - by over , and to be settled in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette again . [I]2296-i must go this morning : [I]2296-i must go directly ; [my]2296-i trunk is packed and corded . "[2296-i] It appeared ; however , that [my]0-i going depended upon [Graham]135-graham ; [he]135-graham had said [he]135-graham would accompany , [me]0-i , and it so fell out that [he]135-graham was engaged all day , and only returned [home]542-home at dusk . Then ensued a little combat of words . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton and [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son pressed [me]0-i to remain one night more . [I]0-i could have cried , so irritated and eager was [I]0-i to be gone . [I]0-i longed to leave [them]2299-them as [the criminal on the scaffold]2300-the criminal on the scaffold longs for the axe to descend : that is , [I]0-i wished the pang over . How much [I]0-i wished it , [they]2299-them could not tell . On these points , mine was a state of mind out of [their]2299-them experience . It was dark when [Dr. John]135-graham handed [me]0-i from [the carriage]5783-the carriage at [Madame Beck]190-madame 's door . The lamp above was lit ; it rained a November drizzle , as it had rained all day : the lamplight gleamed on the wet pavement . Just such a night was it as that on which , not a year ago , [I]0-i had first stopped at this very threshold ; just similar was the scene . [I]0-i remembered the very shapes of the paving - stones which [I]0-i had noted with idle eye , while , with a thick - beating heart , [I]0-i waited the unclosing of that door at which [I]0-i stood - [a solitary and a suppliant]2302-a solitary and a suppliant . On that night , too , [I]0-i had briefly met [him]2303-he who now stood with [me]0-i . Had [I]0-i ever reminded [him]2303-he of [that rencontre]2304-that rencontre , or explained it ? [I]0-i had not , nor ever felt the inclination to do so : it was a pleasant thought , laid by in [my]0-i own mind , and best kept there . [Graham]135-graham rung the bell . The door was instantly opened , for it was just that period of the evening when [the half - boarders]5197-the half - boarders took [their]5197-the half - boarders departure - consequently , [Rosine]203-rosine was on the alert . " Do n't come in , "[0-i] said [I]0-i to [him]2303-he ; but [he]2303-he stepped a moment into [the well- lighted vestibule]2306-the well- lighted vestibule . [I]0-i had not wished [him]2303-he to see that " the water stood in [my]2303-he eyes , "[2303-he] for [his]2303-he was too kind a nature ever to be needlessly shown such signs of sorrow . [He]2303-he always wished to heal - to relieve - when , physician as [he]2303-he was , neither cure nor alleviation were , perhaps , in [his]2303-he power . " Keep up [your]0-i courage , [Lucy]142-lucy . Think of [[my]2303-he mother]4268-my mother and [myself]2303-he as [true friends]5972-true friends . [We]2307-we will not forget [you]0-i . "[2303-he] " Nor will [I]0-i forget [you]2303-he , [Dr. John]135-graham . "[0-i] [My]0-i trunk was now brought in . [We]2307-we had shaken hands ; [he]2303-he had turned to go , but [he]2303-he was not satisfied : [he]2303-he had not done or said enough to content [his]2303-he generous impulses . " [Lucy]142-lucy , "[2303-he] - stepping after [me]0-i - ' shall [you]0-i feel very solitary here ? " "[2303-he] At first [I]0-i shall . " "[2303-he] Well , [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother will soon call to see [you]0-i ; and , meantime , [I]0-i 'll tell [you]0-i what [I]0-i 'll do . [I]0-i 'll write - just any cheerful nonsense that comes into [my]0-i head - shall [I]0-i ? " "[0-i] Good , gallant heart ! " thought [I]0-i to [myself]0-i ; but [I]0-i shook [my]0-i head , smiling , and said , "[0-i] Never think of it : impose on [yourself]0-i no such task . [You]0-i write to [me]0-i ! - [you]0-i 'll not have time . " "[0-i] Oh ! [I]0-i will find or make time . Good - by ! " [He]0-i was gone . The heavy door crashed to : the axe had fallen - the pang was experienced . Allowing [myself]135-graham no time to think or feel - swallowing tears as if they had been wine - [I]135-graham passed to [[Madame]190-madame 's sitting - room]5973-madame 's sitting - room to pay the necessary visit of ceremony and respect . [She]190-madame received [me]135-graham with perfectly well- acted cordiality - was even demonstrative , though brief , in [her]190-madame welcome . In ten minutes [I]135-graham was dismissed . From [the salle - a - manger]1350-the salle - a - manger [I]135-graham proceeded to [the refectory]5110-the refectory , where [pupils]4924-pupils and [teachers]1087-teachers were now assembled for evening study : again [I]135-graham had a welcome , and one not , [I]135-graham think , quite hollow . That over , [I]135-graham was free to repair to [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory . "[135-graham] And will [Graham]135-graham really write ? " [I]135-graham questioned , as [I]135-graham sank tired on the edge of the bed . [Reason]315-reason , coming stealthily up to [me]135-graham through the twilight of [that long , dim chamber]5979-that long , dim chamber , whispered sedately - "[135-graham] [He]135-graham may write once . So kind is [his]135-graham nature , it may stimulate [him]135-graham for once to make the effort . But it can not be continued - it may not be repeated . Great were that folly which should build on such a promise - insane that credulity which should mistake the transitory rain - pool , holding in its hollow one draught , for the perennial spring yielding the supply of seasons . " [I]2310-fool bent [my]2310-fool head : [I]2310-fool sat thinking an hour longer . [Reason]315-reason still whispered [me]2310-fool , laying on [my]2310-fool shoulder a withered hand , and frostily touching [my]2310-fool ear with the chill blue lips of eld . "[2310-fool] If , " muttered [she]315-reason , "[2310-fool] if [he]135-graham should write , what then ? Do [you]2309-you meditate pleasure in replying ? Ah , [fool]2310-fool ! [I]0-i warn [you]2309-you ! Brief be [your]2309-you answer . Hope no delight of heart - no indulgence of intellect : grant no expansion to feeling - give holiday to [no single faculty]2311-no single faculty : dally with no friendly exchange : foster no genial intercommunion .... " "[0-i] But [I]0-i have talked to [Graham]135-graham and [you]0-i did not chide , " [I]0-i pleaded . "[0-i] No , " said [she]315-reason , "[0-i] [I]0-i needed not . Talk for [you]2309-you is good discipline . [You]2309-you converse imperfectly . While [you]2309-you speak , there can be no oblivion of inferiority - no encouragement to delusion : pain , privation , penury stamp [your]2309-you language .... " "[2309-you] But , " [I]2309-you again broke in , "[2309-you] where the bodily presence is weak and the speech contemptible , surely there can not be error in making written language the medium of better utterance than faltering lips can achieve ? " [Reason]315-reason only answered , "[2309-you] At [your]2309-you peril [you]2309-you cherish that idea , or suffer its influence to animate any writing of [yours]2309-you ! " "[2309-you] But if [I]0-i feel , may [I]0-i never express ? " "[0-i] Never ! " declared [Reason]315-reason . [I]0-i groaned under [her]315-reason bitter sternness . Never - never - oh , hard word ! [This hag]5980-this hag , [this Reason]5981-this reason , would not let [me]0-i look up , or smile , or hope : [she]315-reason could not rest unless [I]0-i were altogether crushed , cowed , broken - in , and broken - down . According to [her]315-reason , [I]0-i was born only to work for a piece of bread , to await the pains of death , and steadily through all life to despond . [Reason]315-reason might be right ; yet no wonder [we]5982-our are glad at times to defy [her]315-reason , to rush from under [her]315-reason rod and give a truant hour to [Imagination]316-imagination - [her]315-reason soft , bright foe , [our]5982-our sweet Help , [our]5982-our divine Hope . [We]5982-our shall and must break bounds at intervals , despite the terrible revenge that awaits [our]5982-our return . [Reason]315-reason is vindictive as [a devil]5983-a devil : for [me]0-i [she]315-reason was always envenomed as [a step - mother]5984-a step - mother . If [I]0-i have obeyed [her]315-reason it has chiefly been with the obedience of fear , not of love . Long ago [I]0-i should have died of [her]315-reason ill - usage [her]315-reason stint , [her]315-reason chill , [her]315-reason barren board , [her]315-reason icy bed , [her]315-reason savage , ceaseless blows ; but for that kinder Power who holds [my]0-i secret and sworn allegiance . Often has [Reason]315-reason turned [me]0-i out by night , in mid - winter , on cold snow , flinging for sustenance the gnawed bone dogs had forsaken : sternly has [she]315-reason vowed [her]315-reason stores held nothing more for [me]0-i - harshly denied [my]0-i right to ask better things .... Then , looking up , have [I]0-i seen in the sky a head amidst circling stars , of which the midmost and the brightest lent a ray sympathetic and attent . A spirit , softer and better than [Human Reason]315-reason , has descended with quiet flight to [the waste]5985-the waste - bringing all round [her]315-reason a sphere of air borrowed of eternal summer ; bringing perfume of flowers which can not fade - fragrance of trees whose fruit is life ; bringing breezes pure from [a world whose day needs no sun to lighten it]5986-a world whose day needs no sun to lighten it . [My]0-i hunger has [this good angel]5987-this good angel appeased with food , sweet and strange , gathered amongst gleaning angels , garnering [their]5987-this good angel dew- white harvest in the first fresh hour of a heavenly day ; tenderly has [she]315-reason assuaged the insufferable fears which weep away life itself - kindly given rest to deadly weariness - generously lent hope and impulse to paralyzed despair . Divine , compassionate , succourable influence ! When [I]0-i bend the knee to other than [God]164-god , it shall be at [thy]315-reason white and winged feet , beautiful on mountain or on plain . [Temples]5988-temples have been reared to the Sun - altars dedicated to the Moon . Oh , greater glory ! To [thee]315-reason neither hands build , nor lips consecrate : but hearts , through ages , are faithful to [thy]315-reason worship . [A dwelling [thou]315-reason hast , too wide for walls , too high for dome]5989-a dwelling thou hast , too wide for walls , too high for dome - [a temple whose floors are space - rites whose mysteries transpire in presence , to the kindling , the harmony of worlds]5990-a temple whose floors are space - rites whose mysteries transpire in presence , to the kindling , the harmony of worlds ! Sovereign complete ! [thou]315-reason hadst , for endurance , [[thy]315-reason great army of [martyrs]5992-martyrs]5991-thy great army of martyrs ; for achievement , [[thy]315-reason chosen band of worthies]5993-thy chosen band of worthies . [Deity]317-deity unquestioned , thine essence foils decay ! [This daughter of Heaven]5994-this daughter of heaven remembered [me]0-i to - night ; [she]5994-this daughter of heaven saw [me]0-i weep , and [she]5994-this daughter of heaven came with comfort : "[0-i] Sleep , " [she]5994-this daughter of heaven said . "[0-i] Sleep , sweetly - [I]0-i gild [thy]0-i dreams ! " [She]5994-this daughter of heaven kept [her]5994-this daughter of heaven word , and watched [me]0-i through a night 's rest ; but at dawn [Reason]315-reason relieved [the guard]5995-the guard . [I]0-i awoke with a sort of start ; the rain was dashing against the panes , and the wind uttering a peevish cry at intervals ; the night - lamp was dying on the black circular stand in the middle of [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory : day had already broken . How [I]0-i pity [those whom mental pain stuns instead of rousing]5997-those whom mental pain stuns instead of rousing ! This morning the pang of waking snatched [me]0-i out of bed like a hand with a giant 's gripe . How quickly [I]0-i dressed in the cold of the raw dawn ! How deeply [I]0-i drank of the ice- cold water in [my]0-i carafe ! This was always [my]0-i cordial , to which , like [other dram - drinkers]5998-other dram - drinkers , [I]0-i had eager recourse when unsettled by chagrin . Ere long the bell rang its reveillee to [the whole school]4864-the whole school . Being dressed , [I]0-i descended alone to [the refectory]5110-the refectory , where the stove was lit and the air was warm ; through [the rest of [the house]518-the house]6001-the rest of the house it was cold , with the nipping severity of a continental winter : though now but the beginning of November , a north wind had thus early brought a wintry blight over [Europe]17-europe : [I]0-i remember the black stoves pleased [me]0-i little when [I]0-i first came ; but now [I]0-i began to associate with [them]6003-they a sense of comfort , and liked them , as in [England]19-england [we]6004-we like a fireside . Sitting down before this dark comforter , [I]0-i presently fell into a deep argument with [myself]0-i on life and its chances , on destiny and [her]6005-her decrees . [My]0-i mind , calmer and stronger now than last night , made for itself some imperious rules , prohibiting under deadly penalties all weak retrospect of happiness past ; commanding [a patient journeying through the wilderness of the present]6006-a patient journeying through the wilderness of the present , enjoining a reliance on faith - a watching of the cloud and pillar which subdue while [they]6003-they guide , and awe while [they]6003-they illumine - hushing the impulse to fond idolatry , checking the longing out - look for [a far - off promised land whose rivers]6007-a far - off promised land whose rivers are , perhaps , never to be , reached save in dying dreams , whose sweet [pastures are to be]6008-pastures are to be viewed but from [the desolate and sepulchral summit of [a Nebo]79-a nebo]6009-the desolate and sepulchral summit of a nebo . By degrees , a composite feeling of blended strength and pain wound itself wirily round [my]0-i heart , sustained , or at least restrained , its throbbings , and made [me]0-i fit for the day 's work . [I]0-i lifted [my]0-i head . As [I]0-i said before , [I]0-i was sitting near the stove , let into the wall beneath [the refectory]5110-the refectory and the carre , and thus sufficing to heat [both apartments]6011-both apartments . Piercing the same wall , and close beside the stove , was a window , looking also into the carre ; as [I]0-i looked up a cap - tassel , a brow , two eyes , filled a pane of that window ; the fixed gaze of those two eyes hit right against [my]0-i own glance : [they]6012-they were watching [me]0-i . [I]0-i had not till that moment known that tears were on [my]0-i cheek , but [I]0-i felt them now . This was [a strange house , where no corner was sacred from intrusion , where not a tear could be shed]6013-a strange house , where no corner was sacred from intrusion , where not a tear could be shed , nor a thought pondered , but [a spy]6014-a spy was at hand to note and to divine . And this new , this out - door , [this male spy]6015-this male spy , what business had brought [him]6015-this male spy to [the premises]1020-the premises at this unwonted hour ? What possible right had [he]6015-this male spy to intrude on [me]0-i thus ? [No other professor]6017-no other professor would have dared to cross [the carre]4820-the carre before the class - bell rang . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul took no account of hours nor of claims : there was some book of reference in [the first - class library]6019-the first - class library which [he]196-m. paul had occasion to consult ; [he]196-m. paul had come to seek it : on [his]196-m. paul way [he]196-m. paul passed [the refectory]5110-the refectory . It was very much [his]196-m. paul habit to wear eyes before , behind , and on each side of [him]196-m. paul : [he]196-m. paul had seen [me]0-i through the little window - [he]196-m. paul now opened the refectory door , and there [he]196-m. paul stood . "[0-i] Mademoiselle , vous etes triste . " "[1465-monsieur] [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , j'en ai bien le droit . " "[1465-monsieur] Vous etes malade de coeur et d'humeur , " [he]196-m. paul pursued . "[1465-monsieur] [You]1465-monsieur are at once mournful and mutinous . [I]0-i see on [your]1465-monsieur cheek two tears which [I]0-i know are hot as two sparks , and salt as two crystals of [the sea]725-the sea . While [I]0-i speak [you]1465-monsieur eye [me]0-i strangely . Shall [I]0-i tell [you]1465-monsieur of what [I]0-i am reminded while watching [you]1465-monsieur ? " "[1465-monsieur] [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [I]0-i shall be called away to prayers shortly ; [my]0-i time for conversation is very scant and brief at this hour - excuse - - " "[0-i] [I]0-i excuse everything , " [he]0-i interrupted ; "[0-i] [my]0-i mood is so meek , neither rebuff nor , perhaps , insult could ruffle it . [You]1465-monsieur remind [me]0-i , then , of [a young she wild creature]2315-a young she wild creature , new caught , untamed , viewing with a mixture of fire and fear the first entrance of the breaker - in . " Unwarrantable accost ! - rash and rude if addressed to [a pupil]4902-a pupil ; to [a teacher]4895-a teacher inadmissible . [He]0-i thought to provoke a warm reply ; [I]1465-monsieur had seen [him]0-i vex the passionate to explosion before now . In [me]1465-monsieur [his]0-i malice should find no gratification ; [I]1465-monsieur sat silent . "[1465-monsieur] [You]1465-monsieur look , " said [he]0-i , "[1465-monsieur] like one who would snatch at a draught of sweet poison , and spurn wholesome bitters with disgust . " Indeed , [I]0-i never liked bitters ; nor do [I]0-i believe them wholesome . And to whatever is sweet , be it poison or food , [you]1465-monsieur can not , at least , deny its own delicious quality - sweetness . Better , perhaps , to die quickly a pleasant death , than drag on long a charmless life . "[0-i] " Yet , "[0-i] said [he]0-i , " [you]1465-monsieur should take [your]1465-monsieur bitter dose duly and daily , if [I]0-i had the power to administer it ; and , as to the well - beloved poison , [I]0-i would , perhaps , break the very cup which held it . "[0-i] [I]0-i sharply turned [my]0-i head away , partly because [his]0-i presence utterly displeased [me]0-i , and partly because [I]0-i wished to shun questions : lest , in [my]0-i present mood , the effort of answering should overmaster self- command . " Come , "[0-i] said [he]0-i , more softly , " tell [me]0-i the truth - [you]1465-monsieur grieve at being parted from [friends]533-friends - is it not so ? "[0-i] The insinuating softness was not more acceptable than the inquisitorial curiosity . [I]0-i was silent . [He]0-i came into [the room]600-the room , sat down on the bench about two yards from [me]0-i , and persevered long , and , for [him]0-i , patiently , in attempts to draw [me]0-i into conversation - attempts necessarily unavailing , because [I]0-i could not talk . At last [I]0-i entreated to be let alone . In uttering the request , [my]0-i voice faltered , [my]0-i head sank on [my]0-i arms and the table . [I]0-i wept bitterly , though quietly . [He]0-i sat a while longer . [I]0-i did not look up nor speak , till the closing door and [his]0-i retreating step told [me]0-i that [he]0-i was gone . These tears proved a relief . [I]0-i had time to bathe [my]0-i eyes before breakfast , and [I]0-i suppose [I]0-i appeared at that meal as serene as [any other person]2317-any other person : not , however , quite as jocund - looking as [the young lady who placed [herself]2318-the young lady who placed herself in the seat opposite mine in the seat opposite [mine]0-i]2318-the young lady who placed herself in the seat opposite mine , fixed on [me]0-i a pair of somewhat small eyes twinkling gleefully , and frankly stretched across the table a white hand to be shaken . [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's travels , gaieties , and flirtations agreed with [her]179-ginevra mightily ; [she]179-ginevra had become quite plump , [her]179-ginevra cheeks looked as round as apples . [I]0-i had seen [her]179-ginevra last in elegant evening attire . [I]0-i do n't know that [she]179-ginevra looked less charming now in [her]179-ginevra school - dress , a kind of careless peignoir of a dark - blue material , dimly and dingily plaided with black . [I]0-i even think this dusky wrapper gave [her]179-ginevra charms a triumph ; enhancing by contrast the fairness of [her]179-ginevra skin , the freshness of [her]179-ginevra bloom , the golden beauty of [her]179-ginevra tresses . " [I]179-ginevra am glad [you]0-i are come back , [Timon]318-timon , "[179-ginevra] said [she]179-ginevra . [Timon]318-timon was one of [her]179-ginevra dozen names for [me]0-i . " [You]0-i do n't know how often [I]179-ginevra have wanted [you]0-i in this dismal hole . "[179-ginevra] " Oh , have [you]0-i ? Then , of course , if [you]0-i wanted [me]0-i , [you]0-i have something for [me]0-i to do : stockings to mend , perhaps . "[0-i] [I]0-i never gave [Ginevra]179-ginevra a minute 's or a farthing 's credit for disinterestedness . " Crabbed and crusty as ever ! "[179-ginevra] said [she]179-ginevra . " [I]179-ginevra expected as much : it would not be [you]0-i if [you]0-i did not snub one . But now , come , [grand - mother]6024-grand - mother , [I]179-ginevra hope [you]0-i like coffee as much , and pistolets as little as ever : are [you]0-i disposed to barter ? "[179-ginevra] " Take [your]0-i own way . "[179-ginevra] This way consisted in a habit [she]179-ginevra had of making [me]0-i convenient . [She]179-ginevra did not like the morning cup of coffee ; [its]2319-its school brewage not being strong or sweet enough to suit [her]179-ginevra palate ; and [she]179-ginevra had an excellent appetite , like [any other healthy school - girl]2320-any other healthy school - girl , for the morning pistolets or rolls , which were new - baked and very good , and of which a certain allowance was served to each . This allowance being more than [I]0-i needed , [I]0-i gave half to [Ginevra]179-ginevra ; never varying in [my]0-i preference , though many others used to covet the superfluity ; and [she]179-ginevra in return would sometimes give [me]0-i a portion of [her]179-ginevra coffee . This morning [I]0-i was glad of the draught ; hunger [I]0-i had none , and with thirst [I]0-i was parched . [I]0-i do n't know why [I]0-i chose to give [my]0-i bread rather to [Ginevra]179-ginevra than to another ; nor why , if [two]2321-two had to share the convenience of one drinking - vessel , as sometimes happened - for instance , when [we]2322-we took a long walk into [the country]571-the country , and halted for refreshment at [a farm]2324-a farm - [I]0-i always contrived that [she]179-ginevra should be [[my]0-i convive]2325-my convive , and rather liked to let [her]179-ginevra take the lion 's share , whether of the white beer , the sweet wine , or the new milk : so it was , however , and [she]179-ginevra knew it ; and , therefore , while [we]2322-we wrangled daily , [we]2322-we were never alienated . After breakfast [my]0-i custom was to withdraw to the first classe , and sit and read , or think oftenest [the latter there]2326-the latter there alone , till the nine- o'clock bell threw open all doors , admitted the gathered rush of [externes]1417-externes and [demi - pensionnaires]2328-demi - pensionnaires , and gave the signal for entrance on that bustle and business to which , till five P.M. , there was no relax . [I]0-i was just seated this morning , when a tap came to the door . " Pardon , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , "[2329-a pensionnaire] said [a pensionnaire]2329-a pensionnaire , entering gently ; and having taken from [her]2329-a pensionnaire desk some necessary book or paper , [she]2329-a pensionnaire withdrew on tip - toe , murmuring as [she]2329-a pensionnaire passed [me]0-i , " Que mademoiselle est appliquee ! "[2329-a pensionnaire] Appliquee , indeed ! The means of application were spread before [me]0-i , but [I]0-i was doing nothing ; and had done nothing , and meant to do nothing . Thus does [the world]811-the world give [us]2322-we credit for merits [we]2322-we have not . [Madame Beck]190-madame [herself]190-madame deemed [me]0-i [a regular bas - bleu]2331-a regular bas - bleu , and often and solemnly used to warn [me]0-i not to study too much , lest " the blood should all go to [my]190-madame head . "[190-madame] Indeed , [everybody in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette]2332-everybody in the rue fossette held a superstition that " [Meess Lucie]187-meess lucie "[190-madame] was learned ; with the notable exception of [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , who , by means peculiar to [himself]196-m. paul , and quite inscrutable to [me]0-i , had obtained a not inaccurate inkling of [my]0-i real qualifications , and used to take quiet opportunities of chuckling in [my]0-i ear [his]196-m. paul malign glee over [their]2333-their scant measure . For [my]0-i part , [I]0-i never troubled [myself]0-i about this penury . [I]0-i dearly like to think [my]0-i own thoughts ; [I]0-i had great pleasure in reading a few books , but not many : preferring always those on whose style or sentiment [the writer]2334-the writer 's individual nature was plainly stamped ; flagging inevitably over characterless books , however clever and meritorious : perceiving well that , as far as [my]0-i own mind was concerned , [God]164-god had limited [its]164-god powers and , its action - thankful , [I]0-i trust , for the gift bestowed , but unambitious of higher endowments , not restlessly eager after higher culture . [The polite pupil]2335-the polite pupil was scarcely gone , when , unceremoniously , without tap , in burst a second intruder . Had [I]0-i been blind [I]0-i should have known who this was . [A constitutional reserve of manner]2336-a constitutional reserve of manner had by this time told with wholesome and , for [me]0-i , commodious effect , on the manners of [[my]0-i co - inmates]2337-my co - inmates ; rarely did [I]0-i now suffer from rude or intrusive treatment . When [I]0-i first came , it would happen once and again that [a blunt German]2338-a blunt german would clap [me]0-i on the shoulder , and ask [me]0-i to run a race ; or [a riotous Labassecourienne]2339-a riotous labassecourienne seize [me]0-i by the arm and drag [me]0-i towards [the playground]2340-the playground : urgent proposals to take a swing at the " Pas de Geant , "[2339-a riotous labassecourienne] or to join in a certain romping hide - and - seek game called " Un , deux , trois , "[2339-a riotous labassecourienne] were formerly also of hourly occurrence ; but all these little attentions had ceased some time ago - ceased , too , without [my]0-i finding it necessary to be at the trouble of point - blank cutting them short . [I]0-i had now no familiar demonstration to dread or endure , save from one quarter ; and as that was English [I]0-i could bear it . [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra made no scruple of - at times - catching [me]0-i as [I]0-i was crossing the carre , whirling [me]0-i round in a compulsory waltz , and heartily enjoying the mental and physical discomfiture [her]179-ginevra proceeding induced . [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra it was who now broke in upon " [my]179-ginevra learned leisure . "[179-ginevra] [She]179-ginevra carried a huge music - book under [her]179-ginevra arm . " Go to [your]179-ginevra practising , "[0-i] said [I]0-i to [her]179-ginevra at once : " away with [you]179-ginevra to [the little salon]6025-the little salon ! "[0-i] " Not till [I]179-ginevra have had a talk with [you]179-ginevra , [chere amie]6026-chere amie . [I]179-ginevra know where [you]179-ginevra have been spending [your]179-ginevra vacation , and how [you]179-ginevra have commenced sacrificing to the graces , and enjoying life like [any other belle]6027-any other belle . [I]179-ginevra saw [you]179-ginevra at the concert the other night , dressed , actually , like [anybody else]1529-anybody else . Who is [your]179-ginevra tailleuse ? "[179-ginevra] " Tittle - tattle : how prettily it begins ! [My]179-ginevra tailleuse ! - a fiddlestick ! Come , sheer off , [Ginevra]179-ginevra . [I]179-ginevra really do n't want [your]179-ginevra company . "[179-ginevra] " But when [I]0-i want [yours]179-ginevra so much , ange farouche , what does a little reluctance on [your]179-ginevra part signify ? [Dieu merci]270-dieu ! [we]6029-our know how to manoeuvre with [[our]6029-our gifted compatriote]6030-our gifted compatriote - [the learned ' ourse Britannique]6031-the learned ' ourse britannique . ' And so , [Ourson]319-ourson , [you]319-ourson know [Isidore]190-madame ? "[0-i] " [I]179-ginevra know [John Bretton]135-graham . "[179-ginevra] " Oh , hush ! "[179-ginevra] putting [her]2341-her fingers in [her]2341-her ears " [you]179-ginevra crack [my]179-ginevra tympanums with [your]179-ginevra rude Anglicisms . But , how is [[our]6029-our well - beloved [John]135-graham]6032-our well - beloved john ? Do tell [me]179-ginevra about [him]135-graham . [The poor man]4769-the poor man must be in a sad way . What did [he]135-graham say to [my]179-ginevra behaviour the other night ? Was n't [I]179-ginevra cruel ? "[179-ginevra] " Do [you]319-ourson think [I]179-ginevra noticed [you]319-ourson ? "[179-ginevra] " It was a delightful evening . Oh , that divine [de Hamal]271-de hamal ! And then to watch the other sulking and dying in the distance ; and [the old lady]1842-the old lady - [[my]179-ginevra future mamma - in - law]6035-my future mamma - in - law ! But [I]179-ginevra am afraid [I]179-ginevra and [Lady Sara]308-lady sara were a little rude in quizzing [her]1842-the old lady . "[179-ginevra] " [Lady Sara]308-lady sara never quizzed [her]308-lady sara at all ; and for what [you]319-ourson did , do n't make [yourself]319-ourson in the least uneasy : [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton will survive [your]319-ourson sneer . "[179-ginevra] " [She]1842-the old lady may : [old ladies]6036-old ladies are tough ; but [that poor son of hers]6037-that poor son of hers ! Do tell [me]179-ginevra what [he]6037-that poor son of hers said : [I]179-ginevra saw [he]6037-that poor son of hers was terribly cut up . "[179-ginevra] " [He]6037-that poor son of hers said [you]319-ourson looked as if at heart [you]319-ourson were already [Madame de Hamal]320-madame . "[179-ginevra] " Did [he]6037-that poor son of hers ? "[2342-she] [she]2342-she cried with delight . " [He]6037-that poor son of hers noticed that ? How charming ! [I]2342-she thought [he]6037-that poor son of hers would be mad with jealousy ? "[2342-she] " [Ginevra]271-de hamal , have [you]319-ourson seriously done with [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ? Do [you]319-ourson want [him]6037-that poor son of hers to give [you]319-ourson up ? "[179-ginevra] " Oh ! [you]319-ourson know [he]6037-that poor son of hers ca n't do that : but was n't [he]6037-that poor son of hers mad ? "[179-ginevra] " Quite mad , "[0-i] [I]0-i assented ; " as mad as a March hare . "[0-i] " Well , and how ever did [you]319-ourson get [him]6037-that poor son of hers [home]542-home ? "[179-ginevra] " How ever , indeed ! Have [you]319-ourson no pity on [[his]6037-that poor son of hers poor mother]6039-his poor mother and [me]179-ginevra ? Fancy [us]6040-us holding [him]6037-that poor son of hers tight down in [the carriage]5783-the carriage , and [he]6037-that poor son of hers raving between [us]6040-us , fit to drive [everybody]4957-everybody delirious . [The very coachman]6043-the very coachman went wrong , somehow , and [we]6040-us lost [our]6040-us way . "[179-ginevra] " [You]319-ourson do n't say so ? [You]319-ourson are laughing at [me]0-i . Now , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy - "[0-i] " [I]179-ginevra assure [you]2343-you it is fact - and fact , also , that [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton would not stay in [the carriage]5783-the carriage : [he]6037-that poor son of hers broke from [us]6040-us , and would ride outside . "[179-ginevra] " And afterwards ? "[179-ginevra] " Afterwards - when [he]6037-that poor son of hers did reach [home]542-home - the scene transcends description . "[0-i] " Oh , but describe it - [you]2343-you know it is such fun ! "[0-i] " Fun for [you]2343-you , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra ? but "[179-ginevra] with stern gravity [you]2343-you know the proverb - ' What is sport to one may be death to another . ' " "[0-i] Go on , there 's a darling [Timon]318-timon . " "[318-timon] Conscientiously , [I]0-i can not , unless [you]2343-you assure [me]0-i [you]2343-you have some heart . " "[2343-you] [I]0-i have - such an immensity , [you]2343-you do n't know ! " "[2343-you] Good ! In that case , [you]2343-you will be able to conceive [Dr. Graham Bretton]135-graham rejecting [his]135-graham supper in the first instance - the chicken , the sweetbread prepared for [his]135-graham refreshment , left on the table untouched . Then - - but it is of no use dwelling at length on the harrowing details . Suffice it to say , that never , in the most stormy fits and moments of [his]135-graham infancy , had [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother such work to tuck the sheets about [him]135-graham as [she]534-his mother had that night . " "[534-his mother] [He]135-graham would n't lie still ? " "[135-graham] [He]135-graham would n't lie still : there it was . The sheets might be tucked in , but the thing was to keep them tucked in . " "[135-graham] And what did [he]135-graham say ? " "[135-graham] Say ! Ca n't [you]2343-you imagine [him]135-graham demanding [his]135-graham divine [Ginevra]179-ginevra , anathematizing [that demon]2345-that demon , [de Hamal]271-de hamal - raving about golden locks , blue eyes , white arms , glittering bracelets ? " "[135-graham] No , did [he]135-graham ? [He]135-graham saw the bracelet ? " "[135-graham] Saw the bracelet ? Yes , as plain as [I]0-i saw it : and , perhaps , for the first time , [he]135-graham saw also the brand - mark with which its pressure has encircled [your]2346-your arm . [Ginevra]179-ginevra " rising , and changing [my]135-graham tone , "[135-graham] come , [we]2347-we will have an end of this . Go away to [your]2343-you practising . " And [I]135-graham opened the door . "[135-graham] But [you]2343-you have not told [me]0-i all . " "[2343-you] [You]2343-you had better not wait until [I]0-i do tell [you]2343-you all . Such extra communicativeness could give [you]2343-you no pleasure . [March]321-march ! " "[321-march] Cross thing ! " said [she]179-ginevra ; but [she]179-ginevra obeyed : and , indeed , the first classe was [[my]0-i territory]6046-my territory , and [she]179-ginevra could not there legally resist a notice of quittance from [me]0-i . Yet , to speak the truth , never had [I]0-i been less dissatisfied with [her]179-ginevra than [I]0-i was then . There was pleasure in thinking of the contrast between the reality and [my]0-i description - to remember [Dr. John]135-graham enjoying the drive [home]542-home , eating [his]135-graham supper with relish , and retiring to rest with [Christian]131-christian composure . It was only when [I]0-i saw [him]135-graham really unhappy that [I]0-i felt really vexed with the fair , frail cause of [his]135-graham suffering . A fortnight passed ; [I]0-i was getting once more inured to the harness of [school]675-school , and lapsing from the passionate pain of change to the palsy of custom . One afternoon , in crossing the carre , on [my]0-i way to [the first classe]1533-the first classe , where [I]0-i was expected to assist at a lesson of ' style and literature , "[0-i] [I]0-i saw , standing by one of the long and large windows , [Rosine]203-rosine , [the portress]1079-the portress . [Her]203-rosine attitude , as usual , was quite nonchalante . [She]203-rosine always ' stood at ease ; " one of [her]203-rosine hands rested in [her]203-rosine apron- pocket , the other at this moment held to [her]203-rosine eyes a letter , whereof [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle coolly perused the address , and deliberately studied the seal . A letter ! The shape of a letter similar to that had haunted [my]203-rosine brain in its very core for seven days past . [I]203-rosine had dreamed of a letter last night . Strong magnetism drew [me]203-rosine to that letter now ; yet , whether [I]203-rosine should have ventured to demand of [Rosine]203-rosine so much as a glance at that white envelope , with the spot of red wax in the middle , [I]203-rosine know not . No ; [I]203-rosine think [I]203-rosine should have sneaked past in terror of a rebuff from [Disappointment]242-disappointment : [my]203-rosine heart throbbed now as if [I]203-rosine already heard the tramp of [her]203-rosine approach . Nervous mistake ! It was the rapid step of [the Professor of Literature]5372-the professor of literature measuring [the corridor]1349-the corridor . [I]203-rosine fled before [him]5372-the professor of literature . Could [I]203-rosine but be seated quietly at [my]203-rosine desk before [his]5372-the professor of literature arrival , with the class under [my]203-rosine orders all in disciplined readiness , [he]5372-the professor of literature would , perhaps , exempt [me]203-rosine from notice ; but , if caught lingering in the carre , [I]203-rosine should be sure to come in for a special harangue . [I]203-rosine had time to get seated , to enforce perfect silence , to take out [my]203-rosine work , and to commence it amidst the profoundest and best trained hush , ere [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul entered with [his]196-m. paul vehement burst of latch and panel , and [his]196-m. paul deep , redundant bow , prophetic of choler . As usual [he]196-m. paul broke upon [us]6052-us like a clap of thunder ; but instead of flashing lightning - wise from the door to [the estrade]6053-the estrade , [his]196-m. paul career halted midway at [my]203-rosine desk . Setting [his]196-m. paul face towards [me]203-rosine and the window , [his]196-m. paul back to [the pupils]1102-the pupils and [the room]600-the room , [he]196-m. paul gave [me]203-rosine a look - such a look as might have licensed [me]203-rosine to stand straight up and demand what [he]196-m. paul meant - a look of scowling distrust . "[203-rosine] Voila ! pour vous , " said [he]196-m. paul , drawing [his]196-m. paul hand from [his]196-m. paul waist - coat , and placing on [my]203-rosine desk a letter - the very letter [I]203-rosine had seen in [Rosine]203-rosine 's hand - the letter whose face of enamelled white and single Cyclop's - eye of vermilion - red had printed themselves so clear and perfect on the retina of an inward vision . [I]203-rosine knew it , [I]203-rosine felt it to be the letter of [my]203-rosine hope , the fruition of [my]203-rosine wish , the release from [my]203-rosine doubt , the ransom from [my]203-rosine terror . This letter [M. Paul]196-m. paul , with [his]196-m. paul unwarrantably interfering habits , had taken from [the portress]1079-the portress , and now delivered it [himself]196-m. paul . [I]203-rosine might have been angry , but had not a second for the sensation . Yes : [I]203-rosine held in [my]203-rosine hand not a slight note , but an envelope , which must , at least , contain a sheet : it felt not flimsy , but firm , substantial , satisfying . And here was the direction , "[203-rosine] [Miss Lucy Snowe]142-lucy , " in a clean , clear , equal , decided hand ; and here was the seal , round , full , deftly dropped by untremulous fingers , stamped with the well - cut impress of initials , "[142-lucy] J. G. B. " [I]2349-i experienced a happy feeling - a glad emotion which went warm to [my]2349-i heart , and ran lively through all [my]2349-i veins . For once a hope was realized . [I]2349-i held in [my]2349-i hand a morsel of real solid joy : not a dream , not an image of the brain , not one of those shadowy chances imagination pictures , and on which humanity starves but can not live ; not a mess of that manna [I]2349-i drearily eulogized awhile ago - which , indeed , at first melts on the lips with an unspeakable and preternatural sweetness , but which , in the end , [our]6057-our souls full surely loathe ; longing deliriously for natural and earth - grown food , wildly praying [Heaven]188-heaven 's Spirits to reclaim [their]6058-their own spirit - dew and essence - an aliment divine , but for [mortals deadly]6059-mortals deadly . It was neither sweet hail nor small coriander - seed - neither slight wafer , nor luscious honey , [I]2349-i had lighted on ; it was the wild , savoury mess of [the hunter]6060-the hunter , nourishing and salubrious meat , forest - fed or desert - reared , fresh , healthful , and life - sustaining . It was what [the old dying patriarch]6061-the old dying patriarch demanded of [[his]6061-the old dying patriarch son]717-his son [Esau]305-esau , promising in requital the blessing of [his]6061-the old dying patriarch last breath . It was [a godsend]6063-a godsend ; and [I]2349-i inwardly thanked [the God who had vouchsafed it]6064-the god who had vouchsafed it . Outwardly [I]2349-i only thanked [man]618-man , crying , "[2349-i] Thank [you]2349-i , thank [you]2349-i , [Monsieur]2350-monsieur ! " [Monsieur]6066-monsieur curled [his]6066-monsieur lip , gave [me]2350-monsieur a vicious glance of the eye , and strode to [his]6066-monsieur estrade . [M. Paul]196-m. paul was not at all [a good little man]6067-a good little man , though [he]196-m. paul had good points . Did [I]2350-monsieur read [my]2350-monsieur letter [there]512-there and then ? Did [I]2350-monsieur consume the venison at once and with haste , as if [Esau]305-esau 's shaft flew every day ? [I]2350-monsieur knew better . The cover with its address - the seal , with its three clear letters - was bounty and abundance for the present . [I]2350-monsieur stole from [the room]600-the room , [I]2350-monsieur procured the key of [the great dormitory]5533-the great dormitory , which was kept locked by day . [I]2350-monsieur went to [[my]2350-monsieur bureau]6071-my bureau ; with a sort of haste and trembling lest [Madame]320-madame should creep up - stairs and spy [me]2350-monsieur , [I]2350-monsieur opened a drawer , unlocked a box , and took out a case , and - having feasted [my]2350-monsieur eyes with one more look , and approached the seal with a mixture of awe and shame and delight , to [my]2350-monsieur lips - [I]2350-monsieur folded the untasted treasure , yet all fair and inviolate , in silver paper , committed it to the case , shut up box and drawer , reclosed , relocked [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory , and returned to [class]6073-class , feeling as if fairy tales were true , and fairy gifts no dream . Strange , sweet insanity ! And this letter , the source of [my]2350-monsieur joy , [I]2350-monsieur had not yet read : did not yet know the number of its lines . When [I]2350-monsieur re - entered [the schoolroom]5162-the schoolroom , behold [M. Paul]196-m. paul raging like [a pestilence]6075-a pestilence ! [Some pupil]6076-some pupil had not spoken audibly or distinctly enough to suit [his]6076-some pupil ear and taste , and now [she]6076-some pupil and [others]770-others were weeping , and [he]6076-some pupil was raving from [his]6076-some pupil estrade , almost livid . Curious to mention , as [I]2350-monsieur appeared , [he]6076-some pupil fell on [me]2350-monsieur . "[2350-monsieur] Was [I]0-i [the mistress of [these girls]1133-these girls]2351-the mistress of these girls ? Did [I]0-i profess to teach [them]1133-these girls the conduct befitting [ladies]622-ladies ? - and did [I]0-i permit and , [he]2354-he doubted not , encourage [them]1133-these girls to strangle [[their]1133-these girls mother]2355-their mother - tongue in [their]1133-these girls throats , to mince and mash it between [their]1133-these girls teeth , as if [they]1133-these girls had some base cause to be ashamed of the words [they]1133-these girls uttered ? Was this modesty ? [He]2354-he knew better . It was a vile pseudo sentiment - the offspring or the forerunner of evil . Rather than submit to this mopping and mowing , this mincing and grimacing , this , grinding of a noble tongue , this general affectation and sickening stubbornness of [the pupils of the first class]2356-the pupils of the first class , [he]2354-he would throw [them]2356-the pupils of the first class up for a set of [insupportable petites maitresses]2357-insupportable petites maitresses , and confine [himself]2354-he to teaching [the ABC]2358-the abc to [the babies of the third division]2359-the babies of the third division . " What could [I]2354-he say to all this ? Really nothing ; and [I]2354-he hoped [he]2354-he would allow [me]2354-he to be silent . The storm recommenced . "[2354-he] Every answer to [his]2354-he queries was then refused ? It seemed to be considered in [that place]2360-that place - that conceited boudoir of [a first classe]2361-a first classe , with [its]2360-that place pretentious book - cases , [its]2360-that place green - baized desks , [its]2360-that place rubbish of flower - stands , [its]2360-that place trash of framed pictures and maps , and its foreign surveillante , forsooth ! - it seemed to be the fashion to think there that [the Professor of Literature]5372-the professor of literature was not worthy of a reply ! These were new ideas ; imported , [he]2354-he did not doubt , straight from ' la Grande [Bretagne]80-bretagne : ' [they]2363-my savoured of island insolence and arrogance . " Lull [the second]1505-the second - [the girls]4757-the girls , [not one of whom was ever known to weep a tear for the rebukes of any other master]6080-not one of whom was ever known to weep a tear for the rebukes of any other master , now all melting like snow- statues before the intemperate heat of [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul : [I]2363-my not yet much shaken , sitting down , and venturing to resume [my]2363-my work . Something - either in [my]2363-my continued silence or in the movement of [my]2363-my hand , stitching - transported [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul beyond the last boundary of patience ; [he]196-m. paul actually sprang from [his]196-m. paul estrade . The stove stood near [my]2363-my desk , [he]196-m. paul attacked [it]6081-it ; the little iron door was nearly dashed from its hinges , the fuel was made to fly . "[2363-my] Est - ce que vous avez l'intention de m'insulter ? " said [he]196-m. paul to [me]2363-my , in a low , furious voice , as [he]196-m. paul thus outraged , under pretence of arranging the fire . It was time to soothe [him]196-m. paul a little if possible . "[2363-my] Mais , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , " said [I]1465-monsieur , "[1465-monsieur] [I]0-i would not insult [you]1465-monsieur for [the world]811-the world . [I]0-i remember too well that [you]1465-monsieur once said [we]2366-we should be [friends]533-friends . " [I]1465-monsieur did not intend [my]1465-monsieur voice to falter , but it did : more , [I]1465-monsieur think , through the agitation of late delight than in any spasm of present fear . Still there certainly was something in [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's anger - a kind of passion of emotion - that specially tended to draw tears . [I]1465-monsieur was not unhappy , nor much afraid , yet [I]1465-monsieur wept . "[1465-monsieur] [Allons]322-allons , [allons]2368-allons ! " said [he]0-i presently , looking round and seeing the deluge universal . "[322-allons] Decidedly [I]0-i am [a monster]2369-a monster and [a ruffian]2370-a ruffian . [I]0-i have only one pocket - handkerchief , " [he]0-i added , "[0-i] but if [I]0-i had twenty , [I]0-i would offer [you]2371-your each one . [[Your]2371-your teacher]2372-your teacher shall be [[your]2371-your representative]2373-your representative . Here , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy . " And [he]0-i took forth and held out to [me]142-lucy a clean silk handkerchief . Now [a person who did not know [M. Paul]196-m. paul , who was unused to [him]0-i and [his]0-i impulses]6082-a person who did not know m. paul , who was unused to him and his impulses , would naturally have bungled at this offer - declined accepting the same - et cetera . But [I]142-lucy too plainly felt this would never do : the slightest hesitation would have been fatal to the incipient treaty of peace . [I]142-lucy rose and met the handkerchief half - way , received it with decorum , wiped therewith [my]142-lucy eyes , and , resuming [my]142-lucy seat , and retaining the flag of truce in [my]142-lucy hand and on [my]142-lucy lap , took especial care during the remainder of the lesson to touch neither needle nor thimble , scissors nor muslin . Many a jealous glance did [M. Paul]196-m. paul cast at these implements ; [he]0-i hated them mortally , considering sewing a source of distraction from the attention due to [himself]0-i . A very eloquent lesson [he]0-i gave , and very kind and friendly was [he]0-i to the close . Ere [he]0-i had done , the clouds were dispersed and the sun shining out - tears were exchanged for smiles . In quitting [the room]600-the room [he]0-i paused once more at [my]142-lucy desk . "[142-lucy] And [your]2374-you letter ? " said [he]0-i , this time not quite fiercely . "[0-i] [I]0-i have not yet read it , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur . " "[1465-monsieur] Ah ! it is too good to read at once ; [you]2374-you save it , as , when [I]0-i was [a boy]4374-a boy , [I]0-i used to save a peach whose bloom was very ripe ? " The guess came so near the truth , [I]2374-you could not prevent a suddenly- rising warmth in [my]2374-you face from revealing as much . "[2374-you] [You]2374-you promise [yourself]2374-you a pleasant moment , " said [he]0-i , "[2374-you] in reading that letter ; [you]2374-you will open it when alone - n'est - ce pas ? Ah ! a smile answers . Well , well ! one should not be too harsh ; ' la jeunesse n'a qu'un temps . ' " "[1465-monsieur] [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [Monsieur]2378-monsieur ! " [I]2378-monsieur cried , or rather whispered after [him]0-i , as [he]0-i turned to go , "[2378-monsieur] do not leave [me]0-i under a mistake . This is merely [a friend]1797-a friend 's letter . Without reading it , [I]0-i can vouch for that . " "[0-i] Je concois , je concois : on sait ce que c'est qu'un ami . Bonjour , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle ! " "[261-mademoiselle] But , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , here is [your]1465-monsieur handkerchief . " "[1465-monsieur] Keep it , keep it , till the letter is read , then bring it [me]0-i ; [I]0-i shall read the billet 's tenor in [your]1465-monsieur eyes . " When [he]0-i was gone , [the pupils]1102-the pupils having already poured out of [the schoolroom]5162-the schoolroom into [the berceau]4908-the berceau , and thence into [the garden]1165-the garden and [court]1615-court to take [their]1102-the pupils customary recreation before the five - o'clock dinner , [I]0-i stood a moment thinking , and absently twisting the handkerchief round [my]0-i arm . For some reason - gladdened , [I]0-i think , by a sudden return of the golden glimmer of childhood , roused by an unwonted renewal of its buoyancy , made merry by the liberty of the closing hour , and , above all , solaced at heart by the joyous consciousness of that treasure in the case , box , drawer up - stairs , - [I]0-i fell to playing with the handkerchief as if it were a ball , casting it into the air and catching it - as it fell . The game was stopped by another hand than [mine]0-i - a hand emerging from a paletot - sleeve and stretched over [my]0-i shoulder ; it caught the extemporised plaything and bore it away with these sullen words : "[0-i] Je vois bien que vous vous moquez de moi et de mes effets . " Really [that little man]6089-that little man was dreadful : [a mere sprite of caprice and , ubiquity]6090-a mere sprite of caprice and , ubiquity : [one]607-one never knew either [his]607-one whim or [his]607-one whereabout . CHAPTER XXII . THE LETTER . When all was still in [the house]518-the house ; when dinner was over and the noisy recreation - hour past ; when darkness had set in , and the quiet lamp of study was lit in [the refectory]5110-the refectory ; when [the externes]1095-the externes were gone [home]542-home , the clashing door and clamorous bell hushed for the evening ; when [Madame]320-madame was safely settled in the salle - a - manger in company with [[her]320-madame mother]550-her mother and [some friends]4334-some friends ; [I]0-i then glided to [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen , begged a bougie for one half - hour for a particular occasion , found acceptance of [my]0-i petition at the hands of [[my]0-i friend]801-my friend [Goton]276-goton , who answered , "[0-i] Mais certainement , chou - chou , vous en aurez deux , si vous voulez ; " and , light in hand , [I]0-i mounted noiseless to [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory . Great was [my]0-i chagrin to find in [that apartment]6101-that apartment [a pupil]4902-a pupil gone to bed indisposed , - greater when [I]0-i recognised , amid the muslin nightcap borders , the "[0-i] figure chiffonnee " of [Mistress Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra ; supine at this moment , it is true - but certain to wake and overwhelm [me]318-timon with chatter when the interruption would be least acceptable : indeed , as [I]318-timon watched [her]4902-a pupil , a slight twinkling of the eyelids warned [me]318-timon that the present appearance of repose might be but a ruse , assumed to cover sly vigilance over "[318-timon] [Timon]318-timon 's " movements ; [she]4902-a pupil was not to be trusted . And [I]318-timon had so wished to be alone , just to read [my]318-timon precious letter in peace . Well , [I]318-timon must go to the classes . Having sought and found [my]318-timon prize in its casket , [I]318-timon descended . Ill - luck pursued [me]318-timon . [The classes]4828-the classes were undergoing sweeping and purification by candle - light , according to hebdomadal custom : benches were piled on desks , the air was dim with dust , damp coffee - grounds used by [Labassecourien housemaids]6104-labassecourien housemaids instead of tea - leaves darkened the floor ; all was hopeless confusion . Baffled , but not beaten , [I]318-timon withdrew , bent as resolutely as ever on finding solitude somewhere . Taking a key whereof [I]318-timon knew [the repository]6105-the repository , [I]318-timon mounted three staircases in succession , reached [a dark , narrow , silent landing]6106-a dark , narrow , silent landing , opened a worm- eaten door , and dived into the deep , black , cold garret . [Here]4212-here [none]4383-none would follow [me]318-timon - none interrupt - not [Madame]320-madame [herself]320-madame . [I]318-timon shut the garret - door ; [I]318-timon placed [my]318-timon light on a doddered and mouldy chest of drawers ; [I]318-timon put on a shawl , for the air was ice - cold ; [I]318-timon took [my]318-timon letter ; trembling with sweet impatience , [I]318-timon broke its seal . "[318-timon] Will it be long - will it be short ? " thought [I]318-timon , passing [my]318-timon hand across [my]318-timon eyes to dissipate the silvery dimness of a suave , south - wind shower . It was long . "[318-timon] Will it be cool ? - will it be kind ? " It was kind . To [my]318-timon checked , bridled , disciplined expectation , it seemed very kind : to [my]318-timon longing and famished thought it seemed , perhaps , kinder than it was . So little had [I]318-timon hoped , so much had [I]318-timon feared ; there was a fulness of delight in this taste of fruition - such , perhaps , as many [a human being]5431-a human being passes through life without ever knowing . [The poor English teacher in [the frosty garret]6111-the frosty garret]6110-the poor english teacher in the frosty garret , reading by a dim candle guttering in the wintry air , a letter simply good - natured - nothing more ; though that good - nature then seemed to [me]318-timon godlike - was happier than most queens in [palaces]6112-palaces . Of course , happiness of such shallow origin could be but brief ; yet , while it lasted it was genuine and exquisite : a bubble - but a sweet bubble - of real honey - dew . [Dr. John]135-graham had written to [me]318-timon at length ; [he]135-graham had written to [me]318-timon with pleasure ; [he]135-graham had written with benignant mood , dwelling with sunny satisfaction on scenes that had passed before [his]135-graham eyes and [mine]318-timon , - on places [we]6113-we had visited together - on conversations [we]6113-we had held - on all the little subject - matter , in short , of the last few halcyon weeks . But the cordial core of the delight was , a conviction the blithe , genial language generously imparted , that it had been poured out not merely to content [me]318-timon - but to gratify [himself]135-graham . A gratification [he]135-graham might never more desire , never more seek - an hypothesis in every point of view approaching the certain ; but that concerned the future . This present moment had no pain , no blot , no want ; full , pure , perfect , it deeply blessed [me]318-timon . A passing seraph seemed to have rested beside [me]318-timon , leaned towards [my]318-timon heart , and reposed on its throb a softening , cooling , healing , hallowing wing . [Dr. John]135-graham , [you]135-graham pained [me]318-timon afterwards : forgiven be every ill - freely forgiven - for the sake of that one dear remembered good ! Are there wicked things , not human , which envy human bliss ? Are there evil influences haunting the air , and poisoning it for [man]618-man ? What was near [me]318-timon ? Something in [that vast solitary garret]6115-that vast solitary garret sounded strangely . Most surely and certainly [I]318-timon heard , as it seemed , a stealthy foot on that floor : a sort of gliding out from the direction of the black recess haunted by the malefactor cloaks . [I]318-timon turned : [my]318-timon light was dim ; [the room]600-the room was long - but as [I]318-timon live ! [I]318-timon saw in the middle of [that ghostly chamber]6117-that ghostly chamber [a figure all black and white]6118-a figure all black and white ; the skirts straight , narrow , black ; the head bandaged , veiled , white . Say what [you]135-graham will , [reader]4604-reader - tell [me]318-timon [I]318-timon was nervous or mad ; affirm that [I]318-timon was unsettled by the excitement of that letter ; declare that [I]318-timon dreamed ; this [I]318-timon vow - [I]318-timon saw there - in [that room]613-that room - on that night - an image like - [a NUN]6121-a nun . [I]318-timon cried out ; [I]318-timon sickened . Had the shape approached [me]318-timon [I]318-timon might have swooned . It receded : [I]318-timon made for the door . How [I]318-timon descended all the stairs [I]318-timon know not . By instinct [I]318-timon shunned the refectory , and shaped [my]318-timon course to [[Madame]320-madame 's sitting - room]5973-madame 's sitting - room : [I]318-timon burst in . [I]318-timon said - "[318-timon] There is something in [the grenier]2381-the grenier ; [I]0-i have been [there]512-there : [I]0-i saw something . Go and look at it , all of [you]2383-i ! " [I]2383-i said , "[2383-i] All of [you]2383-i ; " for [the room]600-the room seemed to [me]2383-i full of [people]531-people , though in truth there were but four present : [Madame Beck]190-madame ; [[her]190-madame mother]550-her mother , [Madame Kint]323-madame kint , who was out of health , and now staying with [her]323-madame kint on a visit ; [[her]190-madame brother]6126-her brother , [M. Victor Kint]324-m. victor kint , and [another gentleman , who , when [I]2383-i entered [the room]600-the room]6127-another gentleman , who , when i entered the room , was conversing with [the old lady]1842-the old lady , and had [his]6127-another gentleman , who , when i entered the room back towards the door . [My]2383-i mortal fear and faintness must have made [me]2383-i deadly pale . [I]2383-i felt cold and shaking . [They]2383-i all rose in consternation ; [they]2383-i surrounded [me]2383-i . [I]2383-i urged [them]2383-i to go to [the grenier]2381-the grenier ; the sight of [the gentlemen]6131-the gentlemen did [me]2383-i good and gave [me]2383-i courage : it seemed as if there were some help and hope , with [men at hand]6132-men at hand . [I]2383-i turned to the door , beckoning [them]2383-i to follow . [They]2383-i wanted to stop [me]2383-i , but [I]2383-i said [they]2383-i must come this way : [they]2383-i must see what [I]2383-i had seen - -something strange , standing in the middle of [the garret]5311-the garret . And , now , [I]2383-i remembered [my]2383-i letter , left on the drawers with the light . This precious letter ! Flesh or spirit must be defied for its sake . [I]2383-i flew up - [stairs]593-stairs , hastening the faster as [I]2383-i knew [I]2383-i was followed : [they]2383-i were obliged to come . [Lo]325-lo ! when [I]2383-i reached the garret - door , all within was dark as a pit : the light was out . [Happily]326-happily [some one]1654-some one - [Madame]323-madame kint , [I]2383-i think , with [her]323-madame kint usual calm sense - had brought a lamp from [the room]600-the room ; speedily , therefore , as [they]2383-i came up , a ray pierced the opaque blackness . There stood the bougie quenched on the drawers ; but where was the letter ? And [I]2383-i looked for that now , and not for [the nun]1581-the nun . "[2383-i] [My]0-i letter ! [my]0-i letter ! " [I]2383-i panted and plained , almost beside [myself]2383-i . [I]2383-i groped on the floor , wringing [my]2383-i hands wildly . Cruel , cruel doom ! To have [my]2383-i bit of comfort preternaturally snatched from [me]2383-i , ere [I]2383-i had well tasted its virtue ! [I]2383-i do n't know what [the others]5058-the others were doing ; [I]2383-i could not watch [them]5058-the others : [they]5058-the others asked [me]2383-i questions [I]2383-i did not answer ; [they]5058-the others ransacked all corners ; [they]5058-the others prattled about this and that disarrangement of cloaks , a breach or crack in the sky - light - [I]2383-i know not what . "[2383-i] Something or [somebody]4307-somebody has been [here]4212-here , " was sagely averred . "[4307-somebody] Oh ! [they]2386-they have taken [my]0-i letter ! " cried [the grovelling , groping , monomaniac]6139-the grovelling , groping , monomaniac . "[2386-they] What letter , [Lucy]142-lucy ? [[My]0-i dear girl]817-my dear girl , what letter ? " asked a known voice in [my]0-i ear . Could [I]0-i believe that ear ? No : and [I]0-i looked up . Could [I]0-i trust [my]0-i eyes ? Had [I]0-i recognised the tone ? Did [I]0-i now look on the face of [the writer of that very letter]6140-the writer of that very letter ? Was [this gentleman near [me]0-i in [this dim garret]6142-this dim garret]6141-this gentleman near me in this dim garret , [John Graham]135-graham - [Dr. Bretton]135-graham [himself]135-graham ? Yes : it was . [He]135-graham had been called in that very evening to prescribe for some access of illness in old [Madame Kint]323-madame kint ; [he]135-graham was [the second gentleman present in the salle - a - manger]6143-the second gentleman present in the salle - a - manger when [I]0-i entered . "[0-i] Was it [my]0-i letter , [Lucy]142-lucy ? " "[142-lucy] [Your]142-lucy own : [yours]142-lucy - the letter [you]142-lucy wrote to [me]0-i . [I]0-i had come here to read it quietly . [I]0-i could not find another spot where it was possible to have it to [myself]0-i . [I]0-i had saved it all day - never opened it till this evening : it was scarcely glanced over : [I]0-i can not bear to lose it . Oh , [my]0-i letter ! " "[0-i] Hush ! do n't cry and distress [yourself]142-lucy so cruelly . What is it worth ? [Hush]327-hush ! Come out of [this cold room]2388-this cold room ; [they]2389-they are going to send for [the police]1066-the police now to examine further : [we]2391-we need not stay here - come , [we]2391-we will go down . " A warm hand , taking [my]0-i cold fingers , led [me]0-i down to [a room where there was a fire]6144-a room where there was a fire . [Dr. John]135-graham and [I]0-i sat before the stove . [He]135-graham talked to [me]0-i and soothed [me]0-i with unutterable goodness , promising [me]0-i twenty letters for the one lost . If there are words and wrongs like knives , whose deep- inflicted lacerations never heal - cutting injuries and insults of serrated and poison - dripping edge - so , too , there are consolations of tone too fine for the ear not fondly and for ever to retain their echo : caressing kindnesses - loved , lingered over through a whole life , recalled with unfaded tenderness , and answering the call with undimmed shine , out of that raven cloud foreshadowing Death [himself]135-graham . [I]0-i have been told since that [Dr. Bretton]135-graham was not nearly so perfect as [I]0-i thought [him]135-graham : that [his]135-graham actual character lacked the depth , height , compass , and endurance it possessed in [my]0-i creed . [I]0-i do n't know : [he]135-graham was as good to [me]0-i as the well is to the parched wayfarer - as the sun to [the shivering jailbird]6145-the shivering jailbird . [I]0-i remember [him]135-graham heroic . [Heroic]328-heroic at this moment will [I]0-i hold [him]135-graham to be . [He]135-graham asked [me]0-i , smiling , why [I]0-i cared for [his]135-graham letter so very much . [I]0-i thought , but did not say , that [I]0-i prized it like the blood in [my]0-i veins . [I]0-i only answered that [I]0-i had so few letters to care for . "[0-i] [I]0-i am sure [you]2392-you did not read it , " said [he]135-graham ; "[2392-you] or [you]2392-you would think nothing of it ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i read it , but only once . [I]0-i want to read it again . [I]0-i am sorry it is lost . " And [I]142-lucy could not help weeping afresh . "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy , [Lucy]142-lucy , [[my]0-i poor little god - sister]2393-my poor little god - sister if there be such a relationship , here - here is [your]2392-you letter . Why is it not better worth such tears , and such tenderly exaggerating faith ? " Curious , characteristic manoeuvre ! [His]135-graham quick eye had seen the letter on the floor where [I]2392-you sought it ; [his]135-graham hand , as quick , had snatched it up . [He]135-graham had hidden it in [his]135-graham waistcoat pocket . If [my]2392-you trouble had wrought with a whit less stress and reality , [I]2392-you doubt whether [he]135-graham would ever have acknowledged or restored it . Tears of temperature one degree cooler than those [I]2392-you shed would only have amused [Dr. John]135-graham . Pleasure at regaining made [me]2392-you forget merited reproach for the teasing torment ; [my]2392-you joy was great ; it could not be concealed : yet [I]2392-you think it broke out more in countenance than language . [I]2392-you said little . "[2392-you] Are [you]2392-you satisfied now ? " asked [Dr. John]135-graham . [I]2392-you replied that [I]2392-you was - satisfied and happy . "[2392-you] Well then , " [he]135-graham proceeded , "[2392-you] how do [you]2392-you feel physically ? Are [you]2392-you growing calmer ? Not much : for [you]2392-you tremble like a leaf still . " It seemed to [me]2392-you , however , that [I]2392-you was sufficiently calm : at least [I]2392-you felt no longer terrified . [I]2392-you expressed [myself]2392-you composed . "[2392-you] [You]2392-you are able , consequently , to tell [me]0-i what [you]2392-you saw ? [Your]2392-you account was quite vague , do [you]2392-you know ? [You]2392-you looked white as the wall ; but [you]2392-you only spoke of ' something , ' not defining what . Was it [a man]823-a man ? Was it an animal ? What was it ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i never will tell exactly what [I]0-i saw , " said [I]0-i , "[0-i] unless [some one else]2395-some one else sees it too , and then [I]0-i will give corroborative testimony ; but otherwise , [I]0-i shall be discredited and accused of dreaming . " "[0-i] Tell [me]0-i , " said [Dr. Bretton]135-graham ; "[0-i] [I]0-i will hear it in [my]0-i professional character : [I]0-i look on [you]2392-you now from a professional point of view , and [I]0-i read , perhaps , all [you]2392-you would conceal - in [your]2392-you eye , which is curiously vivid and restless : in [your]2392-you cheek , which the blood has forsaken ; in [your]2392-you hand , which [you]2392-you can not steady . Come , [Lucy]142-lucy , speak and tell [me]0-i . " "[142-lucy] [You]0-i would laugh - ? " "[0-i] If [you]0-i do n't tell [me]0-i [you]0-i shall have no more letters . " "[0-i] [You]0-i are laughing now . " "[0-i] [I]0-i will again take away that single epistle : being [mine]0-i , [I]0-i think [I]0-i have a right to reclaim it . " [I]0-i felt raillery in [his]0-i words : it made [me]0-i grave and quiet ; but [I]0-i folded up the letter and covered it from sight . "[0-i] [You]2392-you may hide it , but [I]0-i can possess it any moment [I]0-i choose . [You]2392-you do n't know [my]0-i skill in sleight of hand ; [I]0-i might practise as [a conjuror]5890-a conjuror if [I]0-i liked . [Mamma]150-mamma says sometimes , too , that [I]0-i have a harmonizing property of tongue and eye ; but [you]2392-you never saw that in [me]0-i - did [you]2392-you , [Lucy]142-lucy ? " "[2392-you] Indeed - indeed - when [you]2392-you were [a mere boy]2397-a mere boy [I]0-i used to see both : far more then than now - for now [you]2392-you are strong , and strength dispenses with subtlety . But still , - [Dr. John]135-graham , [you]2392-you have what [they]2398-they call in [this country]1824-this country ' un air fin , ' that [nobody]4256-nobody can , mistake . [Madame Beck]190-madame saw it , and - - " "[190-madame] And liked it , " said [he]0-i , laughing , "[190-madame] because [she]190-madame has it [herself]190-madame . But , [Lucy]142-lucy , give [me]0-i that letter - [you]142-lucy do n't really care for it " To this provocative speech [I]142-lucy made no answer . [Graham]135-graham in mirthful mood must not be humoured too far . Just now there was a new sort of smile playing about [his]0-i lips - very sweet , but it grieved [me]142-lucy somehow - a new sort of light sparkling in [his]0-i eyes : not hostile , but not reassuring . [I]142-lucy rose to go - [I]142-lucy bid [him]0-i good - night a little sadly . [His]0-i sensitiveness - that peculiar , apprehensive , detective faculty of [his]0-i - felt in a moment the unspoken complaint - the scarce - thought reproach . [He]0-i asked quietly if [I]142-lucy was offended . [I]142-lucy shook [my]142-lucy head as implying a negative . "[142-lucy] Permit [me]0-i , then , to speak a little seriously to [you]142-lucy before [you]142-lucy go . [You]142-lucy are in a highly nervous state . [I]0-i feel sure from what is apparent in [your]142-lucy look and manner , however well controlled , that whilst alone this evening in [that dismal , perishing sepulchral garret]2401-that dismal , perishing sepulchral garret - [that dungeon under the leads , smelling of damp and mould , rank with phthisis and catarrh]2402-that dungeon under the leads , smelling of damp and mould , rank with phthisis and catarrh : [a place [you]142-lucy never ought to enter]2403-a place you never ought to enter - that [you]142-lucy saw , or thought [you]142-lucy saw , some appearance peculiarly calculated to impress the imagination . [I]0-i know that [you]142-lucy are not , nor ever were , subject to material terrors , fears of [robbers]2404-robbers , c. - [I]0-i am not so sure that [a visitation , bearing a spectral character]2405-a visitation , bearing a spectral character , would not shake [your]142-lucy very mind . Be calm now . This is all a matter of the nerves , [I]0-i see : but just specify the vision . " "[0-i] [You]0-i will tell [nobody]4256-nobody ? " "[4256-nobody] [Nobody]4256-nobody - most certainly . [You]142-lucy may trust [me]0-i as implicitly as [you]142-lucy did [Pere Silas]289-pere silas . Indeed , [the doctor]4288-the doctor is perhaps [the safer confessor of [the two]4317-the two]2409-the safer confessor of the two , though [he]4288-the doctor has not grey hair . " "[4288-the doctor] [You]0-i will not laugh ? " "[0-i] Perhaps [I]0-i may , to do [you]142-lucy good : but not in scorn . [Lucy]142-lucy , [I]0-i feel as a friend towards [you]142-lucy , though [your]142-lucy timid nature is slow to trust . " [He]0-i now looked like [a friend]1797-a friend : that indescribable smile and sparkle were gone ; those formidable arched curves of lip , nostril , eyebrow , were depressed ; repose marked [his]0-i attitude - attention sobered [his]0-i aspect . Won to confidence , [I]2411-i told [him]0-i exactly what [I]2411-i had seen : ere now [I]2411-i had narrated to [him]0-i the legend of [the house]518-the house - whiling away with that narrative an hour of a certain mild October afternoon , when be and [I]2411-i rode through [Bois l'Etang]81-bois l'etang . [He]0-i sat and thought , and while [he]0-i thought , [we]6148-we heard [them]2411-i all coming down - [stairs]593-stairs . "[2411-i] Are [they]2411-i going to interrupt ? " said [he]0-i , glancing at the door with an annoyed expression . "[2411-i] [They]2411-i will not come [here]4212-here , " [I]2411-i answered ; for [we]6148-we were in [the little salon where [Madame]190-madame never sat in the evening , and where it was by mere chance that heat was still lingering in the stove]6150-the little salon where madame never sat in the evening , and where it was by mere chance that heat was still lingering in the stove . [They]2411-i passed the door and went on to [the salle -]1200-the salle - [a - manger]6152-a - manger . "[2411-i] Now , " [he]0-i pursued , "[2411-i] [they]2411-i will talk about [thieves]5160-thieves , [burglars]5810-burglars , and so on : let [them]2411-i do so - mind [you]2415-you say nothing , and keep [your]2415-you resolution of describing [[your]2415-you nun]2416-your nun to [nobody]4256-nobody . [She]2416-your nun may appear to [you]2415-you again : do n't start . " "[2416-your nun] [You]2418-i think then , " [I]2418-i said , with secret horror , ' [she]2416-your nun came out of [my]2418-i brain , and is now gone in [there]512-there , and may glide out again at an hour and a day when [I]2418-i look not for [her]2416-your nun ? "[2418-i] " [I]2416-your nun think it a case of spectral illusion : [I]2416-your nun fear , following on and resulting from long - continued mental conflict . "[2416-your nun] " Oh , [Doctor John]329-doctor john - [I]2418-i shudder at the thought of being liable to such an illusion ! It seemed so real . Is there no cure ? - no preventive ? "[2418-i] " [Happiness]330-happiness is the cure - a cheerful mind the preventive : cultivate both . "[2416-your nun] No mockery in [this world]4390-this world ever sounds to [me]0-i so hollow as that of being told to cultivate happiness . What does such advice mean ? Happiness is not a potato , to be planted in mould , and tilled with manure . Happiness is a glory shining far down upon [us]2420-us out of [Heaven]1614-heaven . [She]2422-she is a divine dew which the soul , on certain of its summer mornings , feels dropping upon [it]2423-it from the amaranth bloom and golden fruitage of Paradise . " Cultivate happiness ! "[0-i] [I]0-i said briefly to [the doctor]4288-the doctor : " do [you]4288-the doctor cultivate happiness ? How do [you]4288-the doctor manage ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i am [a cheerful fellow by nature]6154-a cheerful fellow by nature : and then ill - luck has never dogged [me]0-i . Adversity gave [me]0-i and [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother one passing scowl and brush , but [we]2420-us defied [her]4268-my mother , or rather laughed at [her]4268-my mother , and [she]4268-my mother went by . "[0-i] . " There is no cultivation in all this . "[0-i] " [I]0-i do not give way to melancholy . "[0-i] " Yes : [I]0-i have seen [you]4288-the doctor subdued by that feeling . "[0-i] " About [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra - eh ? "[0-i] " Did [she]179-ginevra not sometimes make [you]2426-you miserable ? "[0-i] " Pooh ! stuff ! nonsense ! [You]4288-the doctor see [I]0-i am better now . "[0-i] If [a laughing eye with a lively light , and a face bright with beaming and healthy energy]2425-a laughing eye with a lively light , and a face bright with beaming and healthy energy , could attest that [he]2426-you was better , better [he]2426-you certainly was . " [You]2426-you do not look much amiss , or greatly out of condition , "[0-i] [I]0-i allowed . " And why , [Lucy]142-lucy , ca n't [you]142-lucy look and feel as [I]0-i do - buoyant , courageous , and fit to defy all the nuns and flirts in [Christendom]55-christendom ? [I]0-i would give gold on the spot just to see [you]142-lucy snap [your]142-lucy fingers . Try the manoeuvre . "[0-i] " If [I]0-i were to bring [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra into [your]4288-the doctor presence just now ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i vow , [Lucy]142-lucy , [she]179-ginevra should not move [me]0-i : or , [she]179-ginevra should move [me]0-i but by one thing - true , yes , and passionate love . [I]0-i would accord forgiveness at no less a price . "[0-i] " Indeed ! a smile of hers would have been a fortune to [you]2427-his a while since . "[0-i] " Transformed , [Lucy]142-lucy : transformed ! Remember , [you]4288-the doctor once called [me]2427-his [a slave]5763-a slave ! but [I]2427-his am [a free man]6157-a free man now ! "[2427-his] [He]2427-his stood up : in the port of [his]2427-his head , the carriage of [his]2427-his figure , in [his]2427-his beaming eye and mien , there revealed itself a liberty which was more than ease - a mood which was disdain of [his]2427-his past bondage . " [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , "[2427-his] [he]2427-his pursued , " has led [me]2427-his through a phase of feeling which is over : [I]2427-his have entered another condition , and am now much disposed to exact love for love - passion for passion - and good measure of it , too . "[2427-his] " Ah , [Doctor]6158-doctor ! [Doctor]6158-doctor ! [you]6158-doctor said it was [your]6158-doctor nature to pursue Love under difficulties - to be charmed by a proud insensibility ! "[2427-his] . [He]2427-his laughed , and answered , " [My]2427-his nature varies : the mood of one hour is sometimes the mockery of the next . Well , [Lucy]142-lucy "[2427-his] drawing on [his]2427-his gloves , " will [the Nun]1581-the nun come again to - night , think [you]6158-doctor ? "[2427-his] " [I]2427-his do n't think [she]1581-the nun will . "[2427-his] " Give [her]1581-the nun [my]2427-his compliments , if [she]1581-the nun does - [Dr. John]135-graham 's compliments - and entreat [her]1581-the nun to have the goodness to wait a visit from [him]135-graham . [Lucy]142-lucy , was [she]1581-the nun [a pretty nun]6161-a pretty nun ? Had [she]1581-the nun a pretty face ? [You]142-lucy have not told [me]2427-his that yet ; and that is the really important point . "[2427-his] " [She]1581-the nun had a white cloth over [her]1581-the nun face , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , " but [her]1581-the nun eyes glittered . "[0-i] " Confusion to [her]1581-the nun goblin trappings ! "[2428-he] cried [he]2428-he , irreverently : " but at least [she]1581-the nun had handsome eyes - bright and soft . "[2428-he] " Cold and fixed , "[2427-his] was the reply . " No , no , [we]6162-we 'll none of [her]1581-the nun : [she]1581-the nun shall not haunt [you]0-i , [Lucy]142-lucy . Give [her]1581-the nun that shake of the hand , if [she]1581-the nun comes again . Will [she]1581-the nun stand that , do [you]0-i think ? "[2427-his] [I]0-i thought it too kind and cordial for [a ghost]5524-a ghost to stand : and so was the smile which matched it , and accompanied [his]2428-he " Good - night . "[2428-he] And had there been anything in [the garret]5311-the garret ? What did [they]2431-they discover ? [I]0-i believe , on the closest examination , [their]2431-they discoveries amounted to very little . [They]2431-they talked , at first , of the cloaks being disturbed ; but [Madame Beck]190-madame told [me]0-i afterwards [she]190-madame thought they hung much as usual : and as for the broken pane in the skylight , [she]190-madame affirmed that aperture was rarely without one or more panes broken or cracked : and besides , a heavy hail - storm had fallen a few days ago . [Madame]190-madame questioned [me]0-i very closely as to what [I]0-i had seen , but [I]0-i only described [an obscure figure clothed in black]2432-an obscure figure clothed in black : [I]0-i took care not to breathe the word " [nun]6163-nun , "[0-i] certain that this word would at once suggest to [her]190-madame mind an idea of romance and unreality . [She]190-madame charged [me]0-i to say nothing on the subject to [any servant]2433-any servant , [pupil]2434-pupil , or [teacher]2435-teacher , and highly commended [my]0-i discretion in coming to [[her]190-madame private salle - [a - manger]6152-a - manger]2436-her private salle - a - manger , instead of carrying the tale of horror to [the school refectory]2438-the school refectory . Thus the subject dropped . [I]0-i was left secretly and sadly to wonder , in [my]0-i own mind , whether that strange thing was of [this world]4390-this world , or of [a realm beyond the grave]2440-a realm beyond the grave ; or whether indeed it was only [the child of malady]2441-the child of malady , and [I]0-i of [that malady]2442-that malady [the prey]2443-the prey . CHAPTER XXIII . [VASHTI]331-vashti . To wonder sadly , did [I]0-i say ? No : a new influence began to act upon [my]0-i life , and sadness , for a certain space , was held at bay . Conceive [a dell , deep - hollowed in [forest secresy]2445-forest secresy]2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy ; [it]2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy lies in dimness and mist : [its]2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy turf is dank , [its]2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy herbage pale and humid . A storm or an axe makes a wide gap amongst the oak - trees ; the breeze sweeps in ; the sun looks down ; [the sad , cold dell]2446-the sad , cold dell becomes a deep cup of lustre ; high summer pours [her]2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy blue glory and [her]2444-a dell , deep - hollowed in forest secresy golden light out of that beauteous sky , which till now [the starved hollow]2447-the starved hollow never saw . A new creed became [mine]0-i - a belief in happiness . It was three weeks since the adventure of the garret , and [I]0-i possessed in that case , box , [drawer up - stairs]2448-drawer up - stairs , casketed with that first letter , four companions like to it , traced by the same firm pen , sealed with the same clear seal , full of the same vital comfort . Vital comfort it seemed to [me]0-i then : [I]0-i read them in after years ; they were kind letters enough - pleasing letters , because composed by one well pleased ; in the two last there were three or four closing lines half - gay , half - tender , " by feeling touched , but not subdued . "[2449-dear reader] Time , [dear reader]2449-dear reader , mellowed them to a beverage of this mild quality ; but when [I]0-i first tasted [their]2450-their elixir , fresh from the fount so honoured , it seemed juice of a divine vintage : a draught which [Hebe]332-hebe might fill , and [the very gods]2451-the very gods approve . Does [the reader]759-the reader , remembering what was said some pages back , care to ask how [I]0-i answered these letters : whether under the dry , stinting check of Reason , or according to the full , liberal impulse of Feeling ? To speak truth , [I]0-i compromised matters ; [I]0-i served [two masters]2453-two masters : [I]0-i bowed down in [the houses of [Rimmon]82-rimmon]2454-the houses of rimmon , and lifted the heart at [another shrine]2455-another shrine . [I]0-i wrote to these letters two answers - one for [my]0-i own relief , the other for [Graham]135-graham 's perusal . To begin with : Feeling and [I]0-i turned [Reason]315-reason out of doors , drew against [her]315-reason bar and bolt , then [we]2456-we sat down , spread [our]2456-we paper , dipped in the ink an eager pen , and , with deep enjoyment , poured out [our]2456-we sincere heart . When [we]2456-we had done - when two sheets were covered with the language of a strongly - adherent affection , a rooted and active gratitude - once , for all , in this parenthesis , [I]0-i disclaim , with the utmost scorn , every sneaking suspicion of what are called " warmer feelings : "[4398-women] [women]4398-women do not entertain these " warmer feelings "[4398-women] where , from the commencement , through the whole progress of [an acquaintance]2171-an acquaintance , [they]4398-women have never once been cheated of the conviction that , to do so would be to commit a mortal absurdity : [nobody]4256-nobody ever launches into Love unless [he]4256-nobody has seen or dreamed the rising of [Hope]186-hope 's star over Love 's troubled waters - when , then , [I]0-i had given expression to a closely - clinging and deeply - honouring attachment - an attachment that wanted to attract to itself and take to its own lot all that was painful in the destiny of its object ; that would , if it could , have absorbed and conducted away all storms and lightnings from an existence viewed with a passion of solicitude - then , just at that moment , the doors of [my]0-i heart would shake , bolt and bar would yield , [Reason]315-reason would leap in vigorous and revengeful , snatch the full sheets , read , sneer , erase , tear up , re - write , fold , seal , direct , and send a terse , curt missive of a page . [She]315-reason did right . [I]0-i did not live on letters only : [I]0-i was visited , [I]0-i was looked after ; once a week [I]0-i was taken out to [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse ; always [I]0-i was made much of . [Dr. Bretton]135-graham failed not to tell [me]0-i why [he]135-graham was so kind : " To keep away [the nun]1581-the nun , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham said ; " [he]135-graham was determined to dispute with [her]1581-the nun [her]1581-the nun prey . [He]135-graham had taken , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham declared , " a thorough dislike to [her]1581-the nun , chiefly on account of that white face - cloth , and those cold grey eyes : the moment [he]135-graham heard of those odious particulars , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham affirmed , " consummate disgust had incited [him]135-graham to oppose [her]1581-the nun ; [he]135-graham was determined to try whether [he]6165-he or [she]6166-she was the cleverest , and [he]135-graham only wished [she]1581-the nun would once more look in upon [me]135-graham when [he]135-graham was present : "[135-graham] but that [she]2460-she never did . In short , [he]135-graham regarded [me]0-i scientifically in the light of [a patient]1888-a patient , and at once exercised [his]135-graham professional skill , and gratified [his]135-graham natural benevolence , by a course of cordial and attentive treatment . One evening , the first in December , [I]0-i was walking by [myself]0-i in [the carre]4820-the carre ; it was six o'clock ; the classe - doors were closed ; but within , [the pupils , rampant in the licence of evening recreation]2463-the pupils , rampant in the licence of evening recreation , were counterfeiting a miniature chaos . [The carre]4820-the carre was quite dark , except a red light shining under and about the stove ; the wide glass - doors and the long windows were frosted over ; a crystal sparkle of starlight , here and there spangling this blanched winter veil , and breaking with scattered brilliance the paleness of [its]4820-the carre embroidery , proved it a clear night , though moonless . That [I]0-i should dare to remain thus alone in darkness , showed that [my]0-i nerves were regaining a healthy tone : [I]0-i thought of [the nun]1581-the nun , but hardly feared [her]1581-the nun ; though [the staircase]2466-the staircase was behind [me]0-i , leading up , through blind , black night , from landing to landing , to [the haunted grenier]2467-the haunted grenier . Yet [I]0-i own [my]0-i heart quaked , [my]0-i pulse leaped , when [I]0-i suddenly heard breathing and rustling , and turning , saw in the deep shadow of the steps a deeper shadow still - a shape that moved and descended . It paused a while at the classe - door , and then it glided before [me]0-i . Simultaneously came a clangor of the distant door- bell . Life - like sounds bring life - like feelings : this shape was too round and low for [[my]0-i gaunt nun]2468-my gaunt nun : it was only [Madame Beck]190-madame on duty . " [Mademoiselle Lucy]333-lucy ! "[203-rosine] cried [Rosine]203-rosine , bursting in , lamp in hand , from [the corridor]1349-the corridor , " on est la pour vous au salon . "[190-madame] [Madame]190-madame saw [me]0-i , [I]0-i saw [Madame]190-madame , [Rosine]203-rosine saw [us]2470-us both : there was no mutual recognition . [I]0-i made straight for [the salon]1040-the salon . There [I]0-i found what [I]0-i own [I]0-i anticipated [I]0-i should find - [Dr. Bretton]135-graham ; but [he]135-graham was in evening - dress . " [The carriage]5783-the carriage is at the door , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham ; " [[my]135-graham mother]4268-my mother has sent it to take [you]0-i to [the theatre]6169-the theatre ; [she]4268-my mother was going [herself]4268-my mother , but an arrival has prevented [her]4268-my mother : [she]4268-my mother immediately said , ' Take [Lucy]333-lucy in [my]135-graham place . ' Will [you]0-i go ? "[135-graham] " Just now ? [I]0-i am not dressed , "[0-i] cried [I]0-i , glancing despairingly at [my]0-i dark merino . " [You]0-i have half an hour to dress . [I]0-i should have given [you]0-i notice , but [I]0-i only determined on going since five o'clock , when [I]0-i heard there was to be a genuine regale in the presence of [a great actress]6170-a great actress . "[0-i] And [he]2472-he mentioned a name that thrilled [me]0-i - a name that , in those days , could thrill [Europe]17-europe . [It]2473-it is hushed now : its once restless echoes are all still ; [she]2474-her who bore it went years ago to [her]2474-her rest : night and oblivion long since closed above [her]2474-her ; but then [her]2474-her day - a day of Sirius - stood at its full height , light and fervour . " [I]0-i 'll go ; [I]0-i will be ready in ten minutes , "[0-i] [I]0-i vowed . And away [I]0-i flew , never once checked , [reader]4604-reader , by the thought which perhaps at this moment checks [you]4604-reader : namely , that to go anywhere with [Graham]135-graham and without [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton could be objectionable . [I]0-i could not have conceived , much less have expressed to [Graham]135-graham , such thought - such scruple - without risk of exciting a tyrannous self - contempt : of kindling an inward fire of shame so quenchless , and so devouring , that [I]0-i think it would soon have licked up the very life in [my]0-i veins . Besides , [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother , knowing [[her]506-my godmother son]532-her son , and knowing [me]0-i , would as soon have thought of chaperoning [a sister]1384-a sister with [a brother]2479-a brother , as of keeping anxious guard over [our]2480-our incomings and outgoings . The present was no occasion for showy array ; [my]0-i dun mist crape would suffice , and [I]0-i sought the same in the great oak - wardrobe in [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory , where hung no less than forty dresses . But there had been changes and reforms , and [some innovating hand]2482-some innovating hand had pruned [this same crowded wardrobe]2483-this same crowded wardrobe , and carried divers garments to the grenier - [my]0-i crape amongst the rest . [I]0-i must fetch it . [I]0-i got the key , and went aloft fearless , almost thoughtless . [I]0-i unlocked the door , [I]0-i plunged in . [The reader]759-the reader may believe it or not , but when [I]0-i thus suddenly entered , [that garret]2485-that garret was not wholly dark as it should have been : from one point there shone a solemn light , like a star , but broader . So plainly it shone , that it revealed the deep alcove with a portion of the tarnished scarlet curtain drawn over it . Instantly , silently , before [my]0-i eyes , it vanished ; so did the curtain and alcove : all that end of [the garret]5311-the garret became black as night . [I]0-i ventured no research ; [I]0-i had not time nor will ; snatching [my]0-i dress , which hung on the wall , happily near the door , [I]0-i rushed out , relocked the door with convulsed haste , and darted downwards to [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory . But [I]0-i trembled too much to dress [myself]0-i : impossible to arrange hair or fasten hooks - and - eyes with such fingers , so [I]0-i called [Rosine]203-rosine and bribed [her]203-rosine to help [me]0-i . [Rosine]203-rosine liked a bribe , so [she]203-rosine did [her]203-rosine best , smoothed and plaited [my]0-i hair as well as a coiffeur would have done , placed the lace collar mathematically straight , tied the neck - ribbon accurately - in short , did [her]203-rosine work like the neat - handed [Phillis]334-phillis [she]203-rosine could be when [she]203-rosine those . Having given [me]0-i [my]0-i handkerchief and gloves , [she]203-rosine took the candle and lighted [me]0-i down - [stairs]593-stairs . After all , [I]0-i had forgotten [my]0-i shawl ; [she]203-rosine ran back to fetch it ; and [I]0-i stood with [Dr. John]135-graham in [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule , waiting . " What is this , [Lucy]333-lucy ? "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham , looking down at [me]0-i narrowly . " Here is the old excitement . Ha ! [the nun]1581-the nun again ? "[135-graham] But [I]0-i utterly denied the charge : [I]0-i was vexed to be suspected of a second illusion . [He]135-graham was sceptical . " [She]203-rosine has been , as sure as [I]135-graham live , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham ; " [her]203-rosine figure crossing [your]0-i eyes leaves on them a peculiar gleam and expression not to be mistaken . "[135-graham] " [She]203-rosine has not been , "[0-i] [I]0-i persisted : for , indeed , [I]0-i could deny [her]203-rosine apparition with truth . " The old symptoms are there , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham affirmed : " a particular pale , and what [the Scotch]6172-the scotch call a ' raised ' look . "[135-graham] [He]135-graham was so obstinate , [I]0-i thought it better to tell [him]135-graham what [I]0-i really had seen . Of course with [him]135-graham it was held to be another effect of the same cause : it was all optical illusion - nervous malady , and so on . Not one bit did [I]0-i believe [him]135-graham ; but [I]0-i dared not contradict : [doctors]2490-doctors are so self - opinionated , so immovable in [their]2490-doctors dry , materialist views . [Rosine]203-rosine brought the shawl , and [I]0-i was bundled into [the carriage]5783-the carriage . [The theatre]6169-the theatre was full - crammed to [its]6169-the theatre roof : royal and [noble]2493-noble were [there]512-there : [palace]4705-palace and [hotel]2496-hotel had emptied [[their]2497-their inmates]2498-their inmates into those tiers so thronged and so hushed . Deeply did [I]0-i feel [myself]0-i privileged in having [a place before that stage]2499-a place before that stage ; [I]0-i longed to see a being of whose powers [I]0-i had heard reports which made [me]0-i conceive peculiar anticipations . [I]0-i wondered if [she]2500-her would justify [her]2500-her renown : with strange curiosity , with feelings severe and austere , yet of riveted interest , [I]0-i waited . [She]2500-her was a study of such nature as had not encountered [my]0-i eyes yet : [a great and new planet]2501-a great and new planet [she]2500-her was : but in what shape ? [I]0-i waited [her]2500-her rising . [She]2500-her rose at nine that December night : above the horizon [I]0-i saw [her]2500-her come . [She]2500-her could shine yet with pale grandeur and steady might ; but that star verged already on its judgment - day . Seen near , [it]2502-it was a chaos - hollow , half - consumed : an orb perished or perishing - half lava , half glow . [I]0-i had heard [this woman]1514-this woman termed " plain , "[1514-this woman] and [I]0-i expected bony harshness and grimness - something large , angular , sallow . What [I]0-i saw was the shadow of [a royal Vashti]2504-a royal vashti : [a queen , fair as the day once , turned pale now like twilight , and wasted like wax in flame]2505-a queen , fair as the day once , turned pale now like twilight , and wasted like wax in flame . For awhile - a long while - [I]0-i thought it was only [a woman]4363-a woman , though [an unique woman , Who moved in might and grace before this multitude]2507-an unique woman , who moved in might and grace before this multitude . By- and - by [I]0-i recognised [my]0-i mistake . Behold ! [I]0-i found upon [her]2500-her something neither of [woman]619-woman nor of [man]618-man : in each of [her]2500-her eyes sat [a devil]5983-a devil . [These evil forces]2511-these evil forces bore [her]2500-her through the tragedy , kept up [her]2500-her feeble strength - for [she]2500-her was but [a frail creature]2512-a frail creature ; and as the action rose and the stir deepened , how wildly [they]2511-these evil forces shook [her]2500-her with [their]2511-these evil forces passions of the pit ! [They]2511-these evil forces wrote HELL on [her]2500-her straight , haughty brow . [They]2511-these evil forces tuned [her]2500-her voice to the note of torment . [They]2511-these evil forces writhed [her]2500-her regal face to a demoniac mask . Hate and Murder and Madness incarnate [she]2500-her stood . It was a marvellous sight : a mighty revelation . It was a spectacle low , horrible , immoral . [Swordsmen]2513-swordsmen thrust through , and dying in [their]2513-swordsmen blood on the arena sand ; bulls goring horses disembowelled , made a meeker vision for [the public]2015-the public - a milder condiment for [[a people]2515-a people 's palate]2516-a people 's palate - than [Vashti]331-vashti torn by [seven devils]2517-seven devils : devils which cried sore and rent [the tenement [they]2517-seven devils haunted]2518-the tenement they haunted , but still refused to be exorcised . Suffering had struck [that stage empress]2519-that stage empress ; and [she]2500-her stood before [[her]2500-her audience]2520-her audience neither yielding to , nor enduring , nor , in finite measure , resenting it : [she]2500-her stood locked in struggle , rigid in resistance . [She]2500-her stood , not dressed , but draped in pale antique folds , long and regular like sculpture . A background and entourage and flooring of deepest crimson threw [her]2500-her out , white like alabaster - like silver : rather , be it said , like Death . Where was [the artist of the Cleopatra]2521-the artist of the cleopatra ? Let [him]2521-the artist of the cleopatra come and sit down and study this different vision . Let [him]2521-the artist of the cleopatra seek here the mighty brawn , the muscle , the abounding blood , the full - fed flesh [he]2521-the artist of the cleopatra worshipped : let [all materialists]2522-all materialists draw nigh and look on . [I]0-i have said that [she]2500-her does not resent [her]2500-her grief . No ; the weakness of that word would make it a lie . To [her]2500-her , what hurts becomes immediately embodied : [she]2500-her looks on it as a thing that can be attacked , worried down , torn in shreds . Scarcely a substance [herself]2500-her , [she]2500-her grapples to conflict with abstractions . Before calamity [she]2500-her is [a tigress]2523-a tigress ; [she]2500-her rends [her]2500-her woes , shivers them in convulsed abhorrence . Pain , for [her]2500-her , has no result in good : tears water no harvest of wisdom : on sickness , on death itself , [she]2500-her looks with the eye of [a rebel]2524-a rebel . Wicked , perhaps , [she]2500-her is , but also [she]2500-her is strong ; and [her]2500-her strength has conquered Beauty , has overcome Grace , and bound both at [her]2500-her side , [captives]2525-captives peerlessly fair , and docile as fair . Even in the uttermost frenzy of energy is [each maenad]2526-each maenad movement royally , imperially , incedingly upborne . [Her]2500-her hair , flying loose in revel or war , is still [an angel]1143-an angel 's hair , and glorious under a halo . Fallen , insurgent , banished , [she]2500-her remembers [the heaven where [she]2500-her rebelled]2528-the heaven where she rebelled . Heaven 's light , following [her]2500-her exile , pierces its confines , and discloses their forlorn remoteness . Place now [the Cleopatra]5812-the cleopatra , or any other slug , before [her]5812-the cleopatra as an obstacle , and see [her]5812-the cleopatra cut through the pulpy mass as the scimitar of [Saladin]335-saladin clove the down cushion . Let [Paul Peter Rubens]336-paul peter rubens wake from the dead , let [him]336-paul peter rubens rise out of [his]336-paul peter rubens cerements , and bring into this presence [all the army of [[his]336-paul peter rubens fat women]2531-his fat women]2530-all the army of his fat women ; the magian power or prophet - virtue gifting that slight rod of [Moses]337-moses , could , at one waft , release and re - mingle a sea spell - parted , whelming [the heavy host with the down - rush of overthrown sea - ramparts]2532-the heavy host with the down - rush of overthrown sea - ramparts . [Vashti]331-vashti was not good , [I]0-i was told ; and [I]0-i have said [she]331-vashti did not look good : though [a spirit]2533-a spirit , [she]331-vashti was a spirit out of [Tophet]84-tophet . Well , if so much of unholy force can arise from below , may not an equal efflux of sacred essence descend one day from above ? What thought [Dr. Graham]135-graham of [this being]2534-this being ? For long intervals [I]0-i forgot to look how [he]135-graham demeaned [himself]135-graham , or to question what [he]135-graham thought . The strong magnetism of genius drew [my]0-i heart out of its wonted orbit ; the sunflower turned from the south to a fierce light , not solar - a rushing , red , cometary light - hot on vision and to sensation . [I]0-i had seen acting before , but never anything like this : never anything which astonished Hope and hushed Desire ; which outstripped Impulse and paled Conception ; which , instead of merely irritating imagination with the thought of what might be done , at the same time fevering the nerves because it was not done , disclosed power like [a deep , swollen winter river]2535-a deep , swollen winter river , thundering in cataract , and bearing the soul , like a leaf , on the steep and steelly sweep of its descent . [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , with [her]179-ginevra usual ripeness of judgment , pronounced [Dr. Bretton]135-graham [a serious , impassioned man , too grave and too impressible]2536-a serious , impassioned man , too grave and too impressible . Not in such light did [I]0-i ever see [him]135-graham : no such faults could [I]0-i lay to [his]135-graham charge . [His]135-graham natural attitude was not the meditative , nor [his]135-graham natural mood the sentimental ; impressionable [he]135-graham was as dimpling water , but , almost as water , unimpressible : the breeze , the sun , moved [him]135-graham - metal could not grave , nor fire brand . [Dr. John]135-graham could think and think well , but [he]135-graham was rather [a man of action than of thought]2537-a man of action than of thought ; [he]135-graham could feel , and feel vividly in [his]135-graham way , but [his]135-graham heart had no chord for enthusiasm : to bright , soft , sweet influences [his]135-graham eyes and lips gave bright , soft , sweet welcome , beautiful to see as dyes of rose and silver , pearl and purple , imbuing summer clouds ; for what belonged to storm , what was wild and intense , dangerous , sudden , and flaming , [he]135-graham had no sympathy , and held with it no communion . When [I]0-i took time and regained inclination to glance at [him]135-graham , it amused and enlightened [me]0-i to discover that [he]135-graham was watching [that sinister and sovereign Vashti]2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti , not with wonder , nor worship , nor yet dismay , but simply with intense curiosity . [Her]2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti agony did not pain [him]135-graham , [her]2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti wild moan - worse than a shriek - did not much move [him]135-graham ; [her]2538-that sinister and sovereign vashti fury revolted [him]135-graham somewhat , but not to the point of horror . [Cool young Briton]338-cool young briton ! [The pale cliffs of [his]135-graham own England]2539-the pale cliffs of his own england do not look down on the tides of [the Channel]85-the channel more calmly than [he]135-graham watched the Pythian inspiration of that night . Looking at [his]135-graham face , [I]0-i longed to know [his]135-graham exact opinions , and at last [I]0-i put a question tending to elicit them . At the sound of [my]0-i voice [he]135-graham awoke as if out of a dream ; for [he]135-graham had been thinking , and very intently thinking , [his]135-graham own thoughts , after [his]135-graham own manner . " How did [he]135-graham like [Vashti]331-vashti ? "[135-graham] [I]0-i wished to know . " Hm - m - m , "[135-graham] was the first scarce articulate but expressive answer ; and then such a strange smile went wandering round [his]135-graham lips , a smile so critical , so almost callous ! [I]0-i suppose that for natures of that order [his]135-graham sympathies were callous . In a few terse phrases [he]135-graham told [me]0-i [his]135-graham opinion of , and feeling towards , [the actress]2540-the actress : [he]135-graham judged [her]2540-the actress as [a woman]4363-a woman , not [an artist]2542-an artist : it was a branding judgment . That night was already marked in [my]0-i book of life , not with white , but with a deep - red cross . But [I]0-i had not done with it yet ; and other memoranda were destined to be set down in characters of tint indelible . Towards midnight , when the deepening tragedy blackened to the death- scene , and [all]4382-all held [their]4382-all breath , and even [Graham]135-graham bit [his]135-graham under - lip , and knit [his]135-graham brow , and sat still and struck - when [the whole theatre]2544-the whole theatre was hushed , when the vision of all eyes centred in one point , when all ears listened towards one quarter - nothing being seen but the white form sunk on a seat , quivering in conflict with [her]2540-the actress last , [her]2540-the actress worst- hated , [[her]2540-the actress visibly - conquering foe]2545-her visibly - conquering foe - nothing heard but [her]2540-the actress throes , [her]2540-the actress gaspings , breathing yet of mutiny , panting still defiance ; when , as it seemed , an inordinate will , convulsing a perishing mortal frame , bent it to battle with doom and death , fought every inch of ground , sold every drop of blood , resisted to the latest the rape of [every faculty]2546-every faculty , would see , would hear , would breathe , would live , up to , within , well - nigh beyond the moment when death says to all sense and all being - " Thus far and no farther ! "[2546-every faculty] - Just then a stir , pregnant with omen , rustled behind the scenes - feet ran , voices spoke . What was it ? demanded [the whole house]1327-the whole house . A flame , a smell of smoke replied . " Fire ! "[0-i] rang through [the gallery]5814-the gallery . " Fire ! "[0-i] was repeated , re - echoed , yelled forth : and then , and faster than pen can set it down , came panic , rushing , crushing - a blind , selfish , cruel chaos . And [Dr. John]135-graham ? [Reader]281-reader , [I]0-i see [him]135-graham yet , with [his]135-graham look of comely courage and cordial calm . " [Lucy]333-lucy will sit still , [I]135-graham know , "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham , glancing down at [me]0-i with the same serene goodness , the same repose of firmness that [I]0-i have seen in [him]135-graham when sitting at [his]135-graham side amid the secure peace of [[[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's hearth]2550-his mother 's hearth . Yes , thus adjured , [I]0-i think [I]0-i would have sat still under a rocking crag : but , indeed , to sit still in actual circumstances was [my]0-i instinct ; and at the price of [my]0-i very life , [I]0-i would not have moved to give [him]135-graham trouble , thwart [his]135-graham will , or make demands on [his]135-graham attention . [We]2551-us were in [the stalls]2552-the stalls , and for a few minutes there was a most terrible , ruthless pressure about [us]2551-us . " How terrified are [the women]4558-the women ! "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham ; " but if [the men]4562-the men were not almost equally so , order might be maintained . This is a sorry scene : [I]135-graham see [fifty selfish brutes]6175-fifty selfish brutes at this moment , each of whom , if [I]135-graham were near , [I]135-graham could conscientiously knock down . [I]135-graham see [some women braver than some men]6176-some women braver than some men . There is one yonder - Good God ! "[135-graham] While [Graham]135-graham was speaking , [a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to [a gentleman before [us]2551-us]2554-a gentleman before us]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us , was suddenly struck from [[her]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us protector]2555-her protector 's arms by [a big , butcherly intruder]2556-a big , butcherly intruder , and hurled under the feet of [the crowd]5310-the crowd . Scarce two seconds lasted [her]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us disappearance . [Graham]135-graham rushed forwards ; [he]135-graham and [the gentleman]4574-the gentleman , [a powerful man though grey - haired]2559-a powerful man though grey - haired , united [their]2560-their strength to thrust back [the throng]2561-the throng ; [her]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us head and long hair fell back over [his]4574-the gentleman shoulder : [she]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us seemed unconscious . " Trust [her]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us with [me]135-graham ; [I]135-graham am [a medical man]6177-a medical man , "[135-graham] said [Dr. John]135-graham . " If [you]135-graham have [no lady]6178-no lady with [you]135-graham , be it so , "[135-graham] was the answer . " Hold [her]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us , and [I]135-graham will force a passage : [we]2562-we must get [her]2553-a young girl who had been very quietly and steadily clinging to a gentleman before us to the air . "[135-graham] " [I]135-graham have [a lady]1639-a lady , "[135-graham] said [Graham]135-graham ; " but [she]1639-a lady will be neither hindrance nor incumbrance . "[135-graham] [He]135-graham summoned [me]0-i with [his]135-graham eye : [we]2562-we were separated . Resolute , however , to rejoin [him]135-graham , [I]0-i penetrated the living barrier , creeping under where [I]0-i could not get between or over . " Fasten on [me]135-graham , and do n't leave go , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham said ; and [I]0-i obeyed [him]135-graham . [[Our]2562-we pioneer]2563-our pioneer proved strong and adroit ; [he]135-graham opened the dense mass like a wedge ; with patience and toil [he]135-graham at last bored through the flesh - and- blood rock - so solid , hot , and suffocating - and brought [us]2562-we to the fresh , freezing night . " [You]0-i are [an Englishman]6180-an englishman ! "[135-graham] said [he]135-graham , turning shortly on [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , when [we]2562-we got into [the street]623-the street . " [An Englishman]6180-an englishman . And [I]135-graham speak to [a countryman]6182-a countryman ? "[135-graham] was the reply . " Right . Be good enough to stand here two minutes , whilst [I]135-graham find [[my]135-graham carriage]6183-my carriage . "[135-graham] " [Papa]140-papa , [I]135-graham am not hurt , "[135-graham] said a girlish voice ; " am [I]135-graham with [papa]4218-papa ? "[135-graham] " [You]0-i are with [a friend]1797-a friend , and [[your]0-i father]4386-your father is close at hand . "[135-graham] " Tell [him]4218-papa [I]135-graham am not hurt , except just in [my]135-graham shoulder . Oh , [my]135-graham shoulder ! [They]6187-they trod just here . "[135-graham] " Dislocation , perhaps ! "[4288-the doctor] muttered [the Doctor]4288-the doctor : " let [us]6188-us hope there is no worse injury done . [Lucy]333-lucy , lend a hand one instant . "[4288-the doctor] And [I]0-i assisted while [he]4288-the doctor made some arrangement of drapery and position for the ease of [his]4288-the doctor suffering burden . [She]2566-she suppressed a moan , and lay in [his]4288-the doctor arms quietly and patiently . " [She]2566-she is very light , "[135-graham] said [Graham]135-graham , " like [a child]4415-a child ! "[4288-the doctor] and [he]4288-the doctor asked in [my]0-i ear , " Is [she]2566-she [a child]4415-a child , [Lucy]333-lucy ? Did [you]333-lucy notice [her]2566-she age ? "[4288-the doctor] " [I]1269-the patient am not [a child]4415-a child - [I]1269-the patient am [a person of seventeen]6192-a person of seventeen , "[1269-the patient] responded [the patient]1269-the patient , demurely and with dignity . Then , directly after : " Tell [papa]4218-papa to come ; [I]1269-the patient get anxious . "[1269-the patient] [The carriage]5783-the carriage drove up ; [[her]2566-she father]643-her father relieved [Graham]135-graham ; but in the exchange from [one bearer]2570-one bearer to another [she]2566-she was hurt , and moaned again . " [[My]2571-the father darling]6194-my darling ! "[2571-the father] said [the father]2571-the father , tenderly ; then turning to [Graham]135-graham , " [You]135-graham said , [sir]976-sir , [you]135-graham are [a medical man]6177-a medical man ? "[2571-the father] " [I]2571-the father am : [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , of [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse . "[2571-the father] " Good . Will [you]135-graham step into [[my]2571-the father carriage]6183-my carriage ? "[2571-the father] " [[My]2571-the father own carriage]6198-my own carriage is here : [I]2571-the father will seek it , and accompany [you]135-graham . "[2571-the father] " Be pleased , then , to follow [us]2572-we . "[2571-the father] And [he]2571-the father named [his]2571-the father address : " [The Hotel Crecy]86-the hotel crecy , in [the Rue Crecy]6199-the rue crecy . "[2571-the father] [We]2572-we followed ; [the carriage]5783-the carriage drove fast ; [myself]0-i and [Graham]135-graham were silent . This seemed like an adventure . Some little time being lost in seeking [our]2572-we own equipage , [we]2572-we reached [the hotel]2574-the hotel perhaps about ten minutes after [these strangers]2575-these strangers . [It]2574-the hotel was [an hotel]2576-an hotel in the foreign sense : [a collection of [dwelling - houses]2578-dwelling - houses]2577-a collection of dwelling - houses , not [an inn]4440-an inn - [a vast , lofty pile , with a huge arch to [its]2580-a vast , lofty pile , with a huge arch to its street street]2580-a vast , lofty pile , with a huge arch to its street - door , leading through a vaulted covered way , into [a square all built round]2581-a square all built round . [We]2572-we alighted , passed up a wide , handsome public staircase , and stopped at [Numero 2]62-numero 10 on [the second landing]2582-the second landing ; the first floor comprising [the abode of [I]0-i know not what " [prince Russe]339-prince russe]6200-the abode of i know not what " prince russe , "[135-graham] as [Graham]135-graham informed [me]0-i . On ringing the bell at a second great door , [we]2572-we were admitted to [a suite of very handsome apartments]2583-a suite of very handsome apartments . Announced by [a servant in livery]2584-a servant in livery , [we]2572-we entered [a drawing - room whose hearth glowed with an English fire]2585-a drawing - room whose hearth glowed with an english fire , and whose walls gleamed with foreign mirrors . Near the hearth appeared a little group : a slight form sunk in a deep arm - chair , one or two women busy about it , [the iron - grey gentleman]2586-the iron - grey gentleman anxiously looking on . " Where is [Harriet]137-harriet ? [I]2587-the girlish voice wish [Harriet]137-harriet would come to [me]2587-the girlish voice , "[2587-the girlish voice] said [the girlish voice]2587-the girlish voice , faintly . " Where is [Mrs. Hurst]340-mrs. hurst ? "[4574-the gentleman] demanded [the gentleman]4574-the gentleman impatiently and somewhat sternly of [the man - servant who had admitted [us]2572-we]2589-the man - servant who had admitted us . " [I]4574-the gentleman am sorry to say [she]340-mrs. hurst is gone out of [town]4930-town , [sir]976-sir ; [[my]4574-the gentleman young lady]6203-my young lady gave [her]340-mrs. hurst leave till to - morrow . "[4574-the gentleman] " Yes - [I]4236-the young lady did - [I]4236-the young lady did . [She]340-mrs. hurst is gone to see [[her]340-mrs. hurst sister]6204-her sister ; [I]4236-the young lady said [she]340-mrs. hurst might go : [I]4236-the young lady remember now , "[4236-the young lady] interposed [the young lady]4236-the young lady ; " but [I]4236-the young lady am so sorry , for [Manon]341-manon and [Louison]342-louison can not understand a word [I]4236-the young lady say , and [they]2592-they hurt [me]4236-the young lady without meaning to do so . "[4236-the young lady] [Dr. John]135-graham and [the gentleman]4574-the gentleman now interchanged greetings ; and while [they]2592-they passed a few minutes in consultation , [I]0-i approached the easy - chair , and seeing what [the faint and sinking girl]2593-the faint and sinking girl wished to have done , [I]0-i did it for [her]2593-the faint and sinking girl . [I]0-i was still occupied in the arrangement , when [Graham]135-graham drew near ; [he]135-graham was no less skilled in surgery than medicine , and , on examination , found that no further advice than [his]135-graham own was necessary to the treatment of the present case . [He]135-graham ordered [her]2593-the faint and sinking girl to be carried to [[her]2593-the faint and sinking girl chamber]1070-her chamber , and whispered to [me]0-i : - " Go with [the women]4558-the women , [Lucy]333-lucy ; [they]4558-the women seem but dull ; [you]0-i can at least direct [their]4558-the women movements , and thus spare [her]2593-the faint and sinking girl some pain . [She]2593-the faint and sinking girl must be touched very tenderly . "[135-graham] [The chamber]2595-the chamber was [a room shadowy with pale - blue hangings , vaporous with curtainings and veilings of muslin]2596-a room shadowy with pale - blue hangings , vaporous with curtainings and veilings of muslin ; the bed seemed to [me]0-i like snow- drift and mist - spotless , soft , and gauzy . Making [the women]4558-the women stand apart , [I]0-i undressed [[their]4558-the women mistress]2598-their mistress , without [their]4558-the women well - meaning but clumsy aid . [I]0-i was not in a sufficiently collected mood to note with separate distinctness every detail of the attire [I]0-i removed , but [I]0-i received a general impression of refinement , delicacy , and perfect personal cultivation ; which , in a period of after - thought , offered in [my]0-i reflections a singular contrast to notes retained of [Miss Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's appointments . [The girl]4226-the girl was [herself]4226-the girl [a small , delicate creature , but made like a model]2600-a small , delicate creature , but made like a model . As [I]0-i folded back [her]4226-the girl plentiful yet fine hair , so shining and soft , and so exquisitely tended , [I]0-i had under [my]0-i observation a young , pale , weary , but high - bred face . The brow was smooth and clear ; the eyebrows were distinct , but soft , and melting to a mere trace at the temples ; the eyes were a rich gift of nature - fine and full , large , deep , seeming to hold dominion over the slighter subordinate features - capable , probably , of much significance at another hour and under other circumstances than the present , but now languid and suffering . [Her]4226-the girl skin was perfectly fair , the neck and hands veined finely like the petals of a flower ; a thin glazing of the ice of pride polished this delicate exterior , and [her]4226-the girl lip wore a curl - [I]0-i doubt not inherent and unconscious , but which , if [I]0-i had seen it first with the accompaniments of health and state , would have struck [me]0-i as unwarranted , and proving in [the little lady]2601-the little lady a quite mistaken view of life and [her]4226-the girl own consequence . [Her]4226-the girl demeanour under [the Doctor]4288-the doctor 's hands at first excited a smile ; it was not puerile - rather , on the whole , patient and firm - but yet , once or twice [she]4226-the girl addressed [him]4288-the doctor with suddenness and sharpness , saying that [he]4288-the doctor hurt [her]4226-the girl , and must contrive to give [her]4226-the girl less pain ; [I]0-i saw [her]4226-the girl large eyes , too , settle on [his]4288-the doctor face like the solemn eyes of [some pretty , wondering child]2603-some pretty , wondering child . [I]0-i know not whether [Graham]135-graham felt this examination : if be did , [he]135-graham was cautious not to check or discomfort it by any retaliatory look . [I]0-i think [he]135-graham performed [his]135-graham work with extreme care and gentleness , sparing [her]4226-the girl what pain [he]135-graham could ; and [she]4226-the girl acknowledged as much , when [he]135-graham had done , by the words : - " Thank [you]643-her father , [Doctor]6158-doctor , and good- night , "[4226-the girl] very gratefully pronounced as [she]4226-the girl uttered them , however , it was with a repetition of the serious , direct gaze , [I]0-i thought , peculiar in its gravity and intentness . The injuries , it seems , were not dangerous : an assurance which [[her]4226-the girl father]643-her father received with a smile that almost made [one]607-one [[his]643-her father friend]2606-his friend - it was so glad and gratified . [He]643-her father now expressed [his]643-her father obligations to [Graham]135-graham with as much earnestness as was befitting [an Englishman]6180-an englishman addressing one who has served [him]643-her father , but is yet [a stranger]874-a stranger ; [he]643-her father also begged [him]643-her father to call the next day . " [Papa]140-papa , "[643-her father] said a voice from the veiled couch , " thank [the lady]554-the lady , too ; is [she]554-the lady there ? "[643-her father] [I]0-i opened the curtain with a smile , and looked in at [her]4226-the girl . [She]4226-the girl lay now at comparative ease ; [she]4226-the girl looked pretty , though pale ; [her]4226-the girl face was delicately designed , and if at first sight it appeared proud , [I]0-i believe custom might prove it to be soft . " [I]643-her father thank [the lady]554-the lady very sincerely , "[643-her father] said [[her]4226-the girl father]643-her father : " [I]643-her father fancy [she]554-the lady has been very good to [[my]643-her father child]4422-my child . [I]643-her father think [we]2610-we scarcely dare tell [Mrs. Hurst]340-mrs. hurst who has been [her]554-the lady substitute and done [her]554-the lady work ; [she]554-the lady will feel at once ashamed and jealous . "[643-her father] And thus , in the most friendly spirit , parting greetings were interchanged ; and refreshment having been hospitably offered , but by [us]2610-we , as it was late , refused , [we]2610-we withdrew from [the Hotel Crecy]86-the hotel crecy . On [our]2610-we way back [we]2610-we repassed [the theatre]6169-the theatre . All was silence and darkness : [the roaring , rushing crowd]2612-the roaring , rushing crowd all vanished and gone - the damps , as well as the incipient fire , extinct and forgotten . Next morning 's papers explained that it was but some loose drapery on which a spark had fallen , and which had blazed up and been quenched in a moment . CHAPTER XXIV . M. DE BASSOMPIERRE . [Those who live in retirement , whose lives have fallen amid the seclusion of schools]2613-those who live in retirement , whose lives have fallen amid the seclusion of schools or of [other walled - in and guarded dwellings]2614-other walled - in and guarded dwellings , are liable to be suddenly and for a long while dropped out of the memory of [[their]2613-those who live in retirement , whose lives have fallen amid the seclusion of schools friends]2615-their friends , [the denizens of [a freer world]2617-a freer world]2616-the denizens of a freer world . Unaccountably , perhaps , and close upon some space of unusually frequent intercourse - some congeries of rather exciting little circumstances , whose natural sequel would rather seem to be the quickening than the suspension of communication - there falls a stilly pause , a wordless silence , a long blank of oblivion . Unbroken always is this blank ; alike entire and unexplained . The letter , the message once frequent , are cut off ; the visit , formerly periodical , ceases to occur ; the book , paper , or other token that indicated remembrance , comes no more . Always there are excellent reasons for these lapses , if [the hermit]2618-the hermit but knew them . Though [he]2618-the hermit is stagnant in [[his]2618-the hermit cell]2619-his cell , [his]2618-the hermit connections without are whirling in the very vortex of life . That void interval which passes for [him]2618-the hermit so slowly that the very clocks seem at a stand , and the wingless hours plod by in the likeness of [tired tramps prone to rest at milestones]2620-tired tramps prone to rest at milestones - that same interval , perhaps , teems with events , and pants with hurry for [[his]2618-the hermit friends]706-his friends . [The hermit]2618-the hermit - if [he]2618-the hermit be [a sensible hermit]2623-a sensible hermit - will swallow [his]2618-the hermit own thoughts , and lock up [his]2618-the hermit own emotions during these weeks of inward winter . [He]2618-the hermit will know that [Destiny]235-destiny designed [him]2618-the hermit to imitate , on occasion , the dormouse , and [he]2618-the hermit will be conformable : make a tidy ball of [himself]2618-the hermit , creep into a hole of life 's wall , and submit decently to the drift which blows in and soon blocks [him]2618-the hermit up , preserving [him]2618-the hermit in ice for the season . Let [him]2618-the hermit say , " It is quite right : it ought to be so , since so it is . "[2618-the hermit] And , perhaps , one day [his]2618-the hermit snow - sepulchre will open , spring 's softness will return , the sun and south - wind will reach [him]2618-the hermit ; the budding of hedges , and carolling of birds , and singing of [liberated streams]2624-liberated streams , will call [him]2618-the hermit to kindly resurrection . Perhaps this may be the case , perhaps not : the frost may get into [his]2618-the hermit heart and never thaw more ; when spring comes , a crow or a pie may pick out of the wall only [his]2618-the hermit dormouse - bones . Well , even in that case , all will be right : it is to be supposed [he]2618-the hermit knew from the first [he]2618-the hermit was mortal , and must one day go the way of all flesh , " As well soon as syne . "[2618-the hermit] Following that eventful evening at [the theatre]6169-the theatre , came for [me]0-i seven weeks as bare as seven sheets of blank paper : no word was written on one of them ; not a visit , not a token . About the middle of that time [I]0-i entertained fancies that something had happened to [[my]0-i friends]2626-my friends at [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse . The mid - blank is always a beclouded point for [the solitary]2627-the solitary : [his]2618-the hermit nerves ache with the strain of long expectancy ; the doubts hitherto repelled gather now to a mass and - strong in accumulation - roll back upon [him]2618-the hermit with a force which savours of vindictiveness . Night , too , becomes an unkindly time , and sleep and [his]2618-the hermit nature can not agree : strange starts and struggles harass [[his]2618-the hermit couch]2628-his couch : [the sinister band of bad dreams]2629-the sinister band of bad dreams , with horror of calamity , and sick dread of entire desertion at [their]2629-the sinister band of bad dreams head , join the league against [him]2618-the hermit . [Poor wretch]343-poor wretch ! [He]2618-the hermit does [his]2618-the hermit best to bear up , but [he]2618-the hermit is [a poor , pallid , wasting wretch]2630-a poor , pallid , wasting wretch , despite that best . Towards the last of these long seven weeks [I]0-i admitted , what through the other six [I]0-i had jealously excluded - the conviction that these blanks were inevitable : the result of circumstances , the fiat of fate , a part of [my]0-i life 's lot and - above all - a matter about whose origin no question must ever be asked , for whose painful sequence [no murmur]2631-no murmur ever uttered . Of course [I]0-i did not blame [myself]0-i for suffering : [I]0-i thank [God]164-god [I]0-i had a truer sense of justice than to fall into any imbecile extravagance of self - accusation ; and as to blaming [others]770-others for silence , in [my]0-i reason [I]0-i well knew [them]770-others blameless , and in [my]0-i heart acknowledged [them]770-others so : but it was a rough and heavy road to travel , and [I]0-i longed for better days . [I]0-i tried different expedients to sustain and fill existence : [I]0-i commenced an elaborate piece of lace - work , [I]0-i studied [German]344-german pretty hard , [I]0-i undertook a course of regular reading of the driest and thickest books in [the library]2633-the library ; in all [my]0-i efforts [I]0-i was as orthodox as [I]0-i knew how to be . Was there error somewhere ? Very likely . [I]0-i only know the result was as if [I]0-i had gnawed a file to satisfy hunger , or drank brine to quench thirst . [My]0-i hour of torment was the post - hour . Unfortunately , [I]0-i knew it too well , and tried as vainly as assiduously to cheat [myself]0-i of that knowledge ; dreading the rack of expectation , and the sick collapse of disappointment which daily preceded and followed upon that well- recognised ring . [I]0-i suppose animals kept in [cages]2634-cages , and so scantily fed as to be always upon the verge of famine , await [their]770-others food as [I]0-i awaited a letter . Oh ! - to speak truth , and drop that tone of a false calm which long to sustain , outwears nature 's endurance - [I]0-i underwent in those seven weeks bitter fears and pains , strange inward trials , miserable defections of hope , intolerable encroachments of despair . This last came so near [me]0-i sometimes that [her]2635-her breath went right through [me]0-i . [I]0-i used to feel it like a baleful air or sigh , penetrate deep , and make motion pause at [my]0-i heart , or proceed only under unspeakable oppression . The letter - the well - beloved letter - would not come ; and it was all of sweetness in life [I]0-i had to look for . In the very extremity of want , [I]0-i had recourse again , and yet again , to the little packet in the case - the five letters . How splendid that month seemed whose skies had beheld the rising of these five stars ! It was always at night [I]0-i visited [them]2636-them , and not daring to ask every evening for a candle in [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen , [I]0-i bought a wax taper and matches to light it , and at the study - hour stole up to [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory and feasted on [my]0-i crust from the Barmecide 's loaf . It did not nourish [me]0-i : [I]0-i pined on it , and got as thin as a shadow : otherwise [I]0-i was not ill . Reading there somewhat late one evening , and feeling that the power to read was leaving [me]0-i - for the letters from incessant perusal were losing all sap and significance : [my]0-i gold was withering to leaves before [my]0-i eyes , and [I]0-i was sorrowing over the disillusion - suddenly a quick tripping foot ran up the stairs . [I]0-i knew [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's step : [she]179-ginevra had dined in [town]4930-town that afternoon ; [she]179-ginevra was now returned , and would come here to replace [her]179-ginevra shawl , c. in the wardrobe . Yes : in [she]179-ginevra came , dressed in bright silk , with [her]179-ginevra shawl falling from [her]179-ginevra shoulders , and [her]179-ginevra curls , half - uncurled in the damp of night , drooping careless and heavy upon [her]179-ginevra neck . [I]0-i had hardly time to recasket [my]0-i treasures and lock them up when [she]179-ginevra was at [my]0-i side [her]179-ginevra humour seemed none of the best . " It has been a stupid evening : [they]6210-they are [stupid people]6211-stupid people , "[179-ginevra] [she]179-ginevra began . " Who ? [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley ? [I]179-ginevra thought [you]0-i always found [[her]223-mrs. cholmondeley house]6212-her house charming ? "[179-ginevra] " [I]179-ginevra have not been to [[Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley 's]6213-mrs. cholmondeley 's . "[179-ginevra] " Indeed ! Have [you]0-i made new acquaintance ? "[179-ginevra] " [[My]179-ginevra uncle]4462-my uncle [de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre is come . "[179-ginevra] " [[Your]179-ginevra uncle]6215-your uncle [de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre ! Are [you]179-ginevra not glad ? - [I]179-ginevra thought [he]178-m. de bassompierre was a favourite . "[179-ginevra] " [You]179-ginevra thought wrong : [the man]4959-the man is odious ; [I]179-ginevra hate [him]4959-the man . "[179-ginevra] " Because [he]4959-the man is [a foreigner]891-a foreigner ? or for what other reason of equal weight ? "[179-ginevra] " [He]4959-the man is not [a foreigner]891-a foreigner . [The man]4959-the man is English enough , goodness knows ; and had an English name till three or four years ago ; but [[his]4959-the man mother]534-his mother was [a foreigner]891-a foreigner , a [de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , and [some of [[her]534-his mother family]1163-her family]6222-some of her family are dead and have left [him]4959-the man estates , a title , and this name : [he]4959-the man is quite [a great man]6224-a great man now . "[179-ginevra] " Do [you]179-ginevra hate [him]4959-the man for that reason ? "[179-ginevra] " Do n't [I]2640-i know what [mamma]4272-mamma says about [him]4959-the man ? [He]4959-the man is not [[my]2640-i own uncle]6226-my own uncle , but [married [mamma]4272-mamma 's sister]6227-married mamma 's sister . [Mamma]150-mamma detests [him]4959-the man ; [she]150-mamma says [he]4959-the man killed [aunt Ginevra]179-ginevra with unkindness : [he]4959-the man looks like a bear . Such a dismal evening ! "[2640-i] [she]2640-i went on . " [I]2640-i 'll go no more to [[his]4959-the man big hotel]6229-his big hotel . Fancy [me]2640-i walking into [a room]612-a room alone , and [a great man fifty years old]6231-a great man fifty years old coming forwards , and after a few minutes ' conversation actually turning [his]4959-the man back upon [me]2640-i , and then abruptly going out of [the room]600-the room . Such odd ways ! [I]2640-i daresay [his]4959-the man conscience smote [him]4959-the man , for [they]6233-they all say at [home]542-home [I]2640-i am the picture of [aunt Ginevra]179-ginevra . [Mamma]150-mamma often declares the likeness is quite ridiculous . "[2640-i] " Were [you]2640-i [the only visitor]6235-the only visitor ? "[179-ginevra] " [The only visitor]6235-the only visitor ? Yes ; then there was [missy]6237-missy , [[my]179-ginevra cousin]6238-my cousin : [little spoiled , pampered thing]6239-little spoiled , pampered thing . "[179-ginevra] " [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre has [a daughter]6240-a daughter ? "[2640-i] " Yes , yes : do n't tease [one]607-one with questions . Oh , [dear]6242-dear ! [I]2641-you am so tired . "[2641-you] [She]2641-you yawned . Throwing [herself]2641-you without ceremony on [my]0-i bed [she]2641-you added , " It seems [Mademoiselle]333-lucy was nearly crushed to a jelly in a hubbub at [the theatre]6169-the theatre some weeks ago . "[2641-you] " Ah ! indeed . And [they]6244-they live at [a large hotel in [the Rue Crecy]88-the rue crecy]6245-a large hotel in the rue crecy ? "[2640-i] " [Justement]345-justement . How do [you]2641-you know ? "[2640-i] " [I]2640-i have been [there]512-there . "[2640-i] " Oh , [you]2641-you have ? Really ! [You]2641-you go everywhere in these days . [I]2640-i suppose [Mother Bretton]346-mother bretton took [you]2641-you . [She]346-mother bretton and [Esculapius]347-esculapius have the entree of [the de Bassompierre apartments]6247-the de bassompierre apartments : it seems ' [[my]2640-i son]1825-my son [John]135-graham ' attended [missy]138-missy on the occasion of [her]138-missy accident - Accident ? Bah ! All affectation ! [I]2640-i do n't think [she]138-missy was squeezed more than [she]138-missy richly deserves for [her]138-missy airs . And now there is quite an intimacy struck up : [I]2640-i heard something about ' auld lang syne , ' and what not . Oh , how stupid [they]6249-they all were ! "[2640-i] " All ! [You]2641-you said [you]2641-you were [the only visitor]6235-the only visitor . "[2640-i] " Did [I]2640-i ? [You]2641-you see [one]607-one forgets to particularize [an old woman]6252-an old woman and [[her]6252-an old woman boy]6253-her boy . "[2640-i] " [Dr.]135-graham and [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton were at [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre 's this evening ? "[2640-i] " Ay , ay ! as large as life ; and [missy]138-missy played [the hostess]6254-the hostess . What [a conceited doll]6255-a conceited doll it is ! "[2640-i] Soured and listless , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra was beginning to disclose the causes of [her]179-ginevra prostrate condition . There had been a retrenchment of incense , a diversion or a total withholding of homage and attention coquetry had failed of effect , vanity had undergone mortification . [She]179-ginevra lay fuming in the vapours . " Is [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre quite well now ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked . " As well as [you]0-i or [I]0-i , no doubt ; but [she]179-ginevra is [an affected little thing]6256-an affected little thing , and gave [herself]179-ginevra invalid airs to attract medical notice . And to see [the old dowager]6257-the old dowager making [her]179-ginevra recline on a couch , and ' [[my]0-i son]1825-my son [John]135-graham ' prohibiting excitement , etcetera - faugh ! the scene was quite sickening . "[0-i] " It would not have been so if the object of attention had been changed : if [you]0-i had taken [[Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre 's place]6259-miss de bassompierre 's place . "[2643-she] " Indeed ! [I]0-i hate ' [[my]0-i son]1825-my son [John]135-graham ! ' "[0-i] " ' [[My]0-i son]1825-my son [John]135-graham ! ' - whom do [you]0-i indicate by that name ? [[Dr. Bretton]135-graham 's mother]6262-dr. bretton 's mother never calls [him]1825-my son so . "[0-i] " Then [she]6262-dr. bretton 's mother ought . [A clownish , bearish John]6263-a clownish , bearish john [he]1825-my son is . "[2643-she] " [You]0-i violate the truth in saying so ; and as the whole of [my]0-i patience is now spun off the distaff , [I]0-i peremptorily desire [you]0-i to rise from that bed , and vacate [this room]740-this room . "[0-i] " Passionate thing ! [Your]0-i face is the colour of a coquelicot . [I]0-i wonder what always makes [you]0-i so mighty testy a l'endroit du gros Jean ? ' [John Anderson]349-john anderson , [[my]0-i Joe]6265-my joe , [John]349-john anderson ! ' Oh , the distinguished name ! "[0-i] Thrilling with exasperation , to which it would have been sheer folly to have given vent - for there was no contending with that unsubstantial feather , that mealy - winged moth - [I]0-i extinguished [my]0-i taper , locked [[my]0-i bureau]6071-my bureau , and left [her]2643-she , since [she]2643-she would not leave [me]0-i . Small - beer as [she]2643-she was , [she]2643-she had turned insufferably acid . The morrow was Thursday and a half - holiday . Breakfast was over ; [I]0-i had withdrawn to the first classe . The dreaded hour , the post - hour , was nearing , and [I]0-i sat waiting it , much as [a ghost - seer]2644-a ghost - seer might wait [his]2644-a ghost - seer spectre . Less than ever was a letter probable ; still , strive as [I]0-i would , [I]0-i could not forget that it was possible . As the moments lessened , a restlessness and fear almost beyond the average assailed [me]0-i . It was a day of winter east wind , and [I]0-i had now for some time entered into that dreary fellowship with the winds and their changes , so little known , so incomprehensible to [the healthy]2645-the healthy . [The north and east]2646-the north and east owned a terrific influence , making all pain more poignant , all sorrow sadder . [The south]2647-the south could calm , the west sometimes cheer : unless , indeed , [they]2646-the north and east brought on [their]2646-the north and east wings the burden of thunder - clouds , under the weight and warmth of which all energy died . Bitter and dark as was this January day , [I]0-i remember leaving [the classe]2648-the classe , and running down without bonnet to the bottom of [the long garden]2649-the long garden , and then lingering amongst the stripped shrubs , in the forlorn hope that [the postman]2650-the postman 's ring might occur while [I]0-i was out of hearing , and [I]0-i might thus be spared the thrill which some particular nerve or nerves , almost gnawed through with the unremitting tooth of a fixed idea , were becoming wholly unfit to support . [I]0-i lingered as long as [I]0-i dared without fear of attracting attention by [my]0-i absence . [I]0-i muffled [my]0-i head in [my]0-i apron , and stopped [my]0-i ears in terror of the torturing clang , sure to be followed by such blank silence , such barren vacuum for [me]0-i . At last [I]0-i ventured to re - enter [the first classe]1533-the first classe , where , as it was not yet nine o'clock , [no pupils]2652-no pupils had been admitted . The first thing seen was a white object on [my]0-i black desk , a white , flat object . The post had , indeed , arrived ; by [me]0-i unheard . [Rosine]203-rosine had visited [[my]0-i cell]2653-my cell , and , like [some angel]2654-some angel , had left behind [her]203-rosine a bright token of [her]203-rosine presence . That shining thing on the desk was indeed a letter , a real letter ; [I]0-i saw so much at the distance of three yards , and as [I]0-i had but one correspondent on [earth]4454-earth , from that one it must come . [He]2656-he remembered [me]0-i yet . How deep a pulse of gratitude sent new life through [my]0-i heart . Drawing near , bending and looking on the letter , in trembling but almost certain hope of seeing a known hand , it was [my]0-i lot to find , on the contrary , an autograph for the moment deemed unknown - a pale female scrawl , instead of a firm , masculine character . [I]0-i then thought fate was too hard for [me]0-i , and [I]0-i said , audibly , " This is cruel . "[0-i] But [I]0-i got over that pain also . Life is still life , whatever its pangs : [our]2657-our eyes and ears and their use remain with [us]2657-our , though the prospect of what pleases be wholly withdrawn , and the sound of what consoles be quite silenced . [I]0-i opened the billet : by this time [I]0-i had recognised its handwriting as perfectly familiar . It was dated " La Terrasse , "[0-i] and it ran thus : - " DEAR [LUCY]333-lucy , - It occurs to [me]0-i to inquire what [you]333-lucy have been doing with [yourself]333-lucy for the last month or two ? Not that [I]0-i suspect [you]333-lucy would have the least difficulty in giving an account of [your]333-lucy proceedings . [I]0-i daresay [you]333-lucy have been just as busy and as happy as [ourselves]2657-our at [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse . As to [Graham]135-graham , [his]135-graham professional connection extends daily : [he]135-graham is so much sought after , so much engaged , that [I]0-i tell [him]135-graham [he]135-graham will grow quite conceited . Like [a right good mother]6266-a right good mother , as [I]0-i am , [I]0-i do [my]0-i best to keep [him]135-graham down : no flattery does [he]135-graham get from [me]0-i , as [you]333-lucy know . And yet , [Lucy]333-lucy , [he]135-graham is [a fine fellow]6267-a fine fellow : [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's heart dances at the sight of [him]135-graham . After being hurried here and there the whole day , and passing the ordeal of fifty sorts of tempers , and combating a hundred caprices , and sometimes witnessing cruel sufferings - perhaps , occasionally , as [I]0-i tell [him]2658-him , inflicting them - at night [he]2658-him still comes [home]542-home to [me]0-i in such kindly , pleasant mood , that really , [I]0-i seem to live in a sort of moral antipodes , and on these January evenings [my]0-i day rises when [other people]1151-other people 's night sets in . "[0-i] Still [he]2658-him needs keeping in order , and correcting , and repressing , and [I]0-i do [him]2658-him that good service ; but [the boy]880-the boy is so elastic there is no such thing as vexing [him]2658-him thoroughly . When [I]0-i think [I]0-i have at last driven [him]2658-him to the sullens , [he]2658-him turns on [me]0-i with jokes for retaliation : but [you]2660-you know [him]2658-him and all [his]2658-him iniquities , and [I]0-i am but [an elderly simpleton]2661-an elderly simpleton to make [him]2658-him the subject of this epistle . " As for [me]2661-an elderly simpleton , [I]2661-an elderly simpleton have had [[my]2661-an elderly simpleton old Bretton agent]6271-my old bretton agent here on a visit , and have been plunged overhead and ears in business matters . [I]2661-an elderly simpleton do so wish to regain for [Graham]135-graham at least some part of what [[his]135-graham father]6272-his father left [him]135-graham . [He]2658-him laughs to scorn [my]2661-an elderly simpleton anxiety on this point , bidding [me]2661-an elderly simpleton look and see how [he]2658-him can provide for [himself]2658-him and [me]2661-an elderly simpleton too , and asking what [the old lady]1842-the old lady can possibly want that [she]1842-the old lady has not ; hinting about sky - blue turbans ; accusing [me]2661-an elderly simpleton of an ambition to wear diamonds , keep [livery servants]6274-livery servants , have [an hotel]2576-an hotel , and lead the fashion amongst [the English clan]6276-the english clan in [Villette]3-villette . "[2661-an elderly simpleton] Talking of sky - blue turbans , [I]0-i wish [you]2662-you had been with [us]2663-us the other evening . [He]2664-he had come in really tired , and after [I]0-i had given [him]2664-he [his]2664-he tea , [he]2664-he threw [himself]2664-he into [my]0-i chair with [his]2664-he customary presumption . To [my]0-i great delight , [he]2664-he dropped asleep . [You]2662-you know how [he]2664-he teases [me]0-i about being drowsy ; [I]0-i , who never , by any chance , close an eye by daylight . While [he]2664-he slept , [I]0-i thought [he]2664-he looked very bonny , [Lucy]333-lucy : fool as [I]0-i am to be so proud of [him]2664-he ; but who can help it ? Show [me]0-i [[his]2664-he peer]2665-his peer . Look where [I]0-i will , [I]0-i see nothing like [him]2664-he in [Villette]3-villette . Well , [I]0-i took it into [my]0-i head to play [him]2664-he a trick : so [I]0-i brought out the sky - blue turban , and handling it with gingerly precaution , [I]0-i managed to invest [his]2664-he brows with this grand adornment . [I]0-i assure [you]2666-you it did not at all misbecome [him]2664-he ; [he]2664-he looked quite Eastern , except that [he]2664-he is so fair . [Nobody]4256-nobody , however , can accuse [him]2664-he of having red hair now - it is genuine chestnut - a dark , glossy chestnut ; and when [I]0-i put [my]0-i large cashmere about [him]2664-he , there was as fine [a young bey]2668-a young bey , dey , or pacha improvised as [you]2666-you would wish to see . " It was good entertainment ; but only half - enjoyed , since [I]2668-a young bey was alone : [you]2666-you should have been [there]512-there . "[2668-a young bey] In due time [[my]0-i lord]2669-my lord awoke : the looking - glass above the fireplace soon intimated to [him]2664-he [his]2664-he plight : as [you]2666-you may imagine , [I]0-i now live under threat and dread of vengeance . " But to come to the gist of [my]350-louisa bretton letter . [I]350-louisa bretton know Thursday is a half- holiday in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette : be ready , then , by five in the afternoon , at which hour [I]350-louisa bretton will send [the carriage]5783-the carriage to take [you]2666-you out to [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse . Be sure to come : [you]2666-you may meet [some old acquaintance]6280-some old acquaintance . Good - by , [[my]350-louisa bretton wise , dear , grave little god - daughter]6281-my wise , dear , grave little god - daughter . - Very truly [yours]2666-you , "[350-louisa bretton] [LOUISA BRETTON]350-louisa bretton . " . Now , a letter like that sets one to rights ! [I]350-louisa bretton might still be sad after reading that letter , but [I]350-louisa bretton was more composed ; not exactly cheered , perhaps , but relieved . [[My]350-louisa bretton friends]2626-my friends , at least , were well and happy : no accident had occurred to [Graham]135-graham ; no illness had seized [his]135-graham mother- calamities that had so long been [my]350-louisa bretton dream and thought . [Their]2626-my friends feelings for [me]350-louisa bretton too were - as they had been . Yet , how strange it was to look on [Mrs]6283-mrs : [Bretton]135-graham 's seven weeks and contrast them with [my]350-louisa bretton seven weeks ! Also , how very wise it is in [people placed in an exceptional position]6284-people placed in an exceptional position to hold [their]6284-people placed in an exceptional position tongues and not rashly declare how such position galls [them]6284-people placed in an exceptional position ! [The world]811-the world can understand well enough the process of perishing for want of food : perhaps [few persons]6286-few persons can enter into or follow out that of going mad from solitary confinement . [They]6286-few persons see [the long - buried prisoner]6287-the long - buried prisoner disinterred , [a maniac]6288-a maniac or [an idiot]6289-an idiot ! - how [his]6287-the long - buried prisoner senses left [him]6287-the long - buried prisoner - how [his]6287-the long - buried prisoner nerves , first inflamed , underwent nameless agony , and then sunk to palsy - is a subject too intricate for examination , too abstract for popular comprehension . Speak of it ! [you]6290-you might almost as well stand up in [an European market - place]6291-an european market - place , and propound dark sayings in that language and mood wherein [Nebuchadnezzar]236-nebuchadnezzar , [the imperial hypochondriac]6292-the imperial hypochondriac , communed with [his]236-nebuchadnezzar baffled Chaldeans . And long , long may [the minds to whom such themes are no mystery]6293-the minds to whom such themes are no mystery - by whom [their]6293-the minds to whom such themes are no mystery bearings are sympathetically seized - be few in number , and rare of rencounter . Long may it be generally thought that physical privations alone merit compassion , and that the rest is a figment . When [the world]811-the world was younger and haler than now , moral trials were a deeper mystery still : perhaps in [all the land of [Israel]89-israel]6295-all the land of israel there was but [one Saul]6296-one saul - certainly but one [David]351-david to soothe or comprehend [him]6287-the long - buried prisoner . The keen , still cold of the morning was succeeded , later in the day , by a sharp breathing from [Russian]90-russian wastes : [the cold zone]6297-the cold zone sighed over [the temperate zone]6298-the temperate zone , and froze it fast . A heavy firmament , dull , and thick with snow , sailed up from [the north]6299-the north , and settled over expectant [Europe]17-europe . Towards afternoon began the descent . [I]350-louisa bretton feared [no carriage]6300-no carriage would come , the white tempest raged so dense and wild . But trust [[my]350-louisa bretton godmother]506-my godmother ! Once having asked , [she]506-my godmother would have [[her]506-my godmother guest]6302-her guest . About six o'clock [I]350-louisa bretton was lifted from [the carriage]5783-the carriage over [the already blocked - up front steps of [the chateau]5779-the chateau]6304-the already blocked - up front steps of the chateau , and put in at the door of [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse . Running through [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule , and up - stairs to [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room , there [I]350-louisa bretton found [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton - a summer - day in [her]130-mrs. bretton own person . Had [I]350-louisa bretton been twice as cold as [I]350-louisa bretton was , [her]130-mrs. bretton kind kiss and cordial clasp would have warmed [me]350-louisa bretton . Inured now for so long a time to rooms with bare boards , black benches , desks , and stoves , [the blue saloon]6308-the blue saloon seemed to [me]350-louisa bretton gorgeous . In [its]6308-the blue saloon Christmas - like fire alone there was a clear and crimson splendour which quite dazzled [me]350-louisa bretton . When [[my]350-louisa bretton godmother]506-my godmother had held [my]350-louisa bretton hand for a little while , and chatted with [me]350-louisa bretton , and scolded [me]350-louisa bretton for having become thinner than when [she]506-my godmother last saw [me]350-louisa bretton , [she]506-my godmother professed to discover that the snow - wind had disordered [my]350-louisa bretton hair , and sent [me]350-louisa bretton up - [stairs]593-stairs to make it neat and remove [my]350-louisa bretton shawl . Repairing to [[my]350-louisa bretton own little sea - green room]6311-my own little sea - green room , there also [I]350-louisa bretton found a bright fire , and candles too were lit : a tall waxlight stood on each side the great looking glass ; but between the candles , and before the glass , appeared something dressing itself - [an airy , fairy thing - small , slight , white - a winter spirit]6312-an airy , fairy thing - small , slight , white - a winter spirit . [I]350-louisa bretton declare , for one moment [I]350-louisa bretton thought of [Graham]135-graham and [his]135-graham spectral illusions . With distrustful eye [I]350-louisa bretton noted the details of this new vision . It wore white , sprinkled slightly with drops of scarlet ; its girdle was red ; it had something in its hair leafy , yet shining - a little wreath with an evergreen gloss . Spectral or not , here truly was nothing frightful , and [I]350-louisa bretton advanced . Turning quick upon [me]350-louisa bretton , a large eye , under long lashes , flashed over [me]350-louisa bretton , [the intruder]6313-the intruder : the lashes were as dark as long , and they softened with their pencilling the orb [they]6314-they guarded . "[350-louisa bretton] Ah ! [you]2670-you are come ! " [she]348-miss de bassompierre breathed out , in a soft , quiet voice , and [she]348-miss de bassompierre smiled slowly , and gazed intently . [I]2670-you knew [her]348-miss de bassompierre now . Having only once seen that sort of face , with that cast of fine and delicate featuring , [I]2670-you could not but know [her]348-miss de bassompierre . "[2670-you] [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre , " [I]2670-you pronounced . "[2670-you] No , " was the reply , "[348-miss de bassompierre] not [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre for [you]2670-you ! " [I]348-miss de bassompierre did not inquire who then [she]348-miss de bassompierre might be , but waited voluntary information . "[348-miss de bassompierre] [You]2670-you are changed , but still [you]2670-you are [yourself]2670-you , " [she]348-miss de bassompierre said , approaching nearer . "[0-i] [I]0-i remember [you]2670-you well - [your]2670-you countenance , the colour of [your]2670-you hair , the outline of [your]2670-you face .... " [I]2670-you had moved to the fire , and [she]348-miss de bassompierre stood opposite , and gazed into [me]2670-you ; and as [she]348-miss de bassompierre gazed , [her]348-miss de bassompierre face became gradually more and more expressive of thought and feeling , till at last a dimness quenched [her]348-miss de bassompierre clear vision . "[2670-you] It makes [me]0-i almost cry to look so far back , " said [she]348-miss de bassompierre : "[0-i] but as to being sorry , or sentimental , do n't think it : on the contrary , [I]0-i am quite pleased and glad . " Interested , yet altogether at fault , [I]0-i knew not what to say . At last [I]0-i stammered , "[0-i] [I]0-i think [I]0-i never met [you]0-i till that night , some weeks ago , when [you]0-i were hurt ... ? " [She]348-miss de bassompierre smiled . "[2670-you] [You]2670-you have forgotten then that [I]0-i have sat on [your]2670-you knee , been lifted in [your]2670-you arms , even shared [your]2670-you pillow ? [You]2670-you no longer remember the night when [I]0-i came crying , like [a naughty little child]2671-a naughty little child as [I]0-i was , to [your]2670-you bedside , and [you]2670-you took [me]0-i in . [You]2670-you have no memory for the comfort and protection by which [you]2670-you soothed an acute distress ? Go back to [Bretton]135-graham . Remember [Mr. Home]134-mr. home . " At last [I]134-mr. home saw it all . "[134-mr. home] And [you]0-i are [little Polly]139-polly ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am [Paulina Mary Home de Bassompierre]141-paulina . " How time can change ! [Little Polly]139-polly wore in [her]139-polly pale , small features , [her]139-polly fairy symmetry , [her]139-polly varying expression , a certain promise of interest and grace ; but [Paulina Mary]141-paulina was become beautiful - not with the beauty that strikes the eye like a rose - orbed , ruddy , and replete ; not with the plump , and pink , and flaxen attributes of [[her]139-polly blond cousin]6315-her blond cousin [Ginevra]179-ginevra ; but [her]139-polly seventeen years had brought [her]139-polly a refined and tender charm which did not lie in complexion , though [hers]139-polly was fair and clear ; nor in outline , though [her]139-polly features were sweet , and [her]139-polly limbs perfectly turned ; but , [I]141-paulina think , rather in a subdued glow from the soul outward . This was not an opaque vase , of material however costly , but a lamp chastely lucent , guarding from extinction , yet not hiding from worship , a flame vital and vestal . In speaking of [her]139-polly attractions , [I]141-paulina would not exaggerate language ; but , indeed , they seemed to [me]141-paulina very real and engaging . What though all was on a small scale , it was the perfume which gave this white violet distinction , and made it superior to the broadest camelia - the fullest dahlia that ever bloomed . "[141-paulina] Ah ! and [you]0-i remember the old time at [Bretton]135-graham ? " "[0-i] Better , " said [she]139-polly , "[0-i] better , perhaps , than [you]0-i . [I]0-i remember it with minute distinctness : not only the time , but the days of the time , and the hours of the days . " "[0-i] [You]0-i must have forgotten some things ? " "[0-i] Very little , [I]0-i imagine . " "[0-i] [You]0-i were then [a little creature of quick feelings]2672-a little creature of quick feelings : [you]0-i must , long ere this , have outgrown the impressions with which joy and grief , affection and bereavement , stamped [your]0-i mind ten years ago . " "[0-i] [You]0-i think [I]0-i have forgotten whom [I]0-i liked , and in what degree [I]0-i liked them when [a child]4415-a child ? " "[0-i] The sharpness must be gone - the point , the poignancy - the deep imprint must be softened away and effaced ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i have a good memory for those days . " [She]139-polly looked as if [she]139-polly had . [Her]139-polly eyes were the eyes of [one who can remember]6316-one who can remember ; [one whose childhood does not fade like a dream , nor whose youth vanish like a sunbeam]6317-one whose childhood does not fade like a dream , nor whose youth vanish like a sunbeam . [She]139-polly would not take life , loosely and incoherently , in parts , and let one season slip as [she]139-polly entered on another : [she]139-polly would retain and add ; often review from the commencement , and so grow in harmony and consistency as [she]139-polly grew in years . Still [I]0-i could not quite admit the conviction that all the pictures which now crowded upon [me]0-i were vivid and visible to [her]139-polly . [Her]139-polly fond attachments , [her]139-polly sports and contests with [a well - loved playmate]6318-a well - loved playmate , the patient , true devotion of [[her]139-polly child]552-her child 's heart , [her]139-polly fears , [her]139-polly delicate reserves , [her]139-polly little trials , the last piercing pain of separation .... [I]0-i retraced these things , and shook [my]0-i head incredulous . [She]139-polly persisted . "[0-i] [The child of seven years]2674-the child of seven years lives yet in [the girl of seventeen]2675-the girl of seventeen , " said [she]139-polly . "[0-i] [You]2676-you used to be excessively fond of [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , " [I]2676-you remarked , intending to test [her]139-polly . [She]139-polly set [me]2676-you right at once . "[2676-you] Not excessively fond , " said [she]139-polly ; "[2676-you] [I]0-i liked [her]130-mrs. bretton : [I]0-i respected [her]130-mrs. bretton as [I]0-i should do now : [she]130-mrs. bretton seems to [me]0-i very little altered . " "[130-mrs. bretton] [She]130-mrs. bretton is not much changed , " [I]130-mrs. bretton assented . [We]6320-we were silent a few minutes . Glancing round [the room]600-the room [she]139-polly said , "[130-mrs. bretton] There are several things here that used to be at [Bretton]135-graham ! [I]0-i remember that pincushion and that looking - glass . " Evidently [she]139-polly was not deceived in [her]139-polly estimate of [her]139-polly own memory ; not , at least , so far . "[0-i] [You]0-i think , then , [you]0-i would have known [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ? " [I]130-mrs. bretton went on . "[130-mrs. bretton] [I]0-i perfectly remembered [her]130-mrs. bretton ; the turn of [her]130-mrs. bretton features , [her]130-mrs. bretton olive complexion , and black hair , [her]130-mrs. bretton height , [her]130-mrs. bretton walk , [her]130-mrs. bretton voice . " "[130-mrs. bretton] [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , of course , " [I]130-mrs. bretton pursued , "[130-mrs. bretton] would be out of the question : and , indeed , as [I]0-i saw [your]0-i first interview with [him]135-graham , [I]0-i am aware that [he]135-graham appeared to [you]0-i as [a stranger]874-a stranger . " "[135-graham] That first night [I]0-i was puzzled , " [she]130-mrs. bretton answered . "[0-i] How did the recognition between [him]135-graham and [[your]0-i father]4386-your father come about ? " "[2679-they] [They]2679-they exchanged cards . The names [Graham Bretton]135-graham and [Home de Bassompierre]141-paulina gave rise to questions and explanations . That was on the second day ; but before then [I]0-i was beginning to know something . " "[0-i] How - know something ? " "[0-i] Why , " [she]130-mrs. bretton said , "[0-i] how strange it is that [most people]5910-most people seem so slow to feel the truth - not to see , but feel ! When [Dr. Bretton]135-graham had visited [me]0-i a few times , and sat near and talked to [me]0-i ; when [I]0-i had observed the look in [his]135-graham eyes , the expression about [his]135-graham mouth , the form of [his]135-graham chin , the carriage of [his]135-graham head , and all that [we]2681-we do observe in [persons who approach [us]2681-we]2682-persons who approach us - how could [I]0-i avoid being led by [association]2683-association to think of [Graham Bretton]135-graham ? [Graham]135-graham was slighter than [he]135-graham , and not grown so tall , and had a smoother face , and longer and lighter hair , and spoke - not so deeply - more like [a girl]517-a girl ; but yet [he]135-graham is [Graham]135-graham , just as [I]0-i am little [Polly]141-paulina , or [you]2685-you are [Lucy Snowe]333-lucy . " [I]333-lucy thought the same , but [I]333-lucy wondered to find [my]333-lucy thoughts [hers]2685-you : there are certain things in which [we]6322-we so rarely meet with [[our]6322-we double]6323-our double that it seems a miracle when that chance befalls . "[333-lucy] [You]2685-you and [Graham]135-graham were once [playmates]2686-playmates . " "[2685-you] And do [you]2685-you remember that ? " [she]2685-you questioned in [her]2685-you turn . "[2685-you] No doubt [he]135-graham will remember it also , " said [I.]0-i "[135-graham] [I]0-i have not asked [him]135-graham : few things would surprise [me]0-i so much as to find that [he]135-graham did . [I]0-i suppose [his]135-graham disposition is still gay and careless ? " "[135-graham] Was it so formerly ? Did it so strike [you]2685-you ? Do [you]2685-you thus remember [him]135-graham ? " "[2685-you] [I]0-i scarcely remember [him]135-graham in any other light . Sometimes [he]135-graham was studious ; sometimes [he]135-graham was merry : but whether busy with [his]135-graham books or disposed for play , it was chiefly the books or game [he]135-graham thought of ; not much heeding those with whom [he]135-graham read or amused [himself]135-graham . " "[135-graham] Yet to [you]2685-you [he]135-graham was partial . " "[135-graham] Partial to [me]0-i ? Oh , no ! [he]135-graham had [other playmates]2687-other playmates - [[his]135-graham school - fellows]2688-his school - fellows ; [I]0-i was of little consequence to [him]135-graham , except on Sundays : yes , [he]135-graham was kind on Sundays . [I]0-i remember walking with [him]135-graham hand - in - hand to [[St. Mary]352-st. mary 's]2689-st. mary 's , and [his]135-graham finding the places in [my]0-i prayer - book ; and how good and still [he]135-graham was on Sunday evenings ! So mild for [such a proud , lively boy]2690-such a proud , lively boy ; so patient with all [my]0-i blunders in reading ; and so wonderfully to be depended on , for [he]135-graham never spent those evenings from [home]542-home : [I]0-i had a constant fear that [he]135-graham would accept some invitation and forsake [us]2692-our ; but [he]135-graham never did , nor seemed ever to wish to do it . Thus , of course , it can be no more . [I]0-i suppose Sunday will now be [Dr. Bretton]135-graham 's dining - out day .... ? " "[135-graham] [Children]4815-children , come down ! " here called [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton from below . [Paulina]141-paulina would still have lingered , but [I]4815-children inclined to descend : [we]2692-our went down . CHAPTER XXV . [THE LITTLE COUNTESS]6324-the little countess . Cheerful as [[my]4815-children godmother]506-my godmother naturally was , and entertaining as , for [our]2692-our sakes , [she]506-my godmother made a point of being , there was no true enjoyment that evening at [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse , till , through the wild howl of the winter- night , were heard the signal sounds of arrival . How often , while [women]4398-women and [girls]702-girls sit warm at snug fire - sides , [their]6328-their hearts and imaginations are doomed to divorce from the comfort surrounding [[their]6328-their persons]6329-their persons , forced out by night to wander through dark ways , to dare stress of weather , to contend with the snow - blast , to wait at lonely gates and stiles in wildest storms , watching and listening to see and hear [the father]2571-the father , [the son]6331-the son , [the husband]4563-the husband coming [home]542-home . [Father]1803-father and [son]6335-son came at last to [the chateau]5779-the chateau : for [the Count de Bassompierre]353-the count de bassompierre that night accompanied [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . [I]4815-children know not which of [[our]2692-our trio]6337-our trio heard the horses first ; the asperity , the violence of the weather warranted [our]2692-our running down into [the hall]573-the hall to meet and greet [the two riders]6339-the two riders as [they]6339-the two riders came in ; but [they]6339-the two riders warned [us]2692-our to keep [our]2692-our distance : both were white - two mountains of snow ; and indeed [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , seeing [their]6339-the two riders condition , ordered [them]6339-the two riders instantly to [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen ; prohibiting [them]6339-the two riders , at [their]6339-the two riders peril , from setting foot on [her]130-mrs. bretton carpeted staircase till [they]6339-the two riders had severally put off that mask of Old Christmas [they]6339-the two riders now affected . Into [the kitchen]4409-the kitchen , however , [we]2692-our could not help following [them]6339-the two riders : it was [a large old Dutch kitchen]6342-a large old dutch kitchen , picturesque and pleasant . [The little white Countess]6343-the little white countess danced in a circle about [[her]6343-the little white countess equally white sire]6344-her equally white sire , clapping [her]6343-the little white countess hands and crying , "[4815-children] [Papa]140-papa , [papa]4218-papa , [you]4218-papa look like an enormous Polar bear . " [The bear]6345-the bear shook [himself]6345-the bear , and [the little sprite]6346-the little sprite fled far from the frozen shower . Back [she]6343-the little white countess came , however , laughing , and eager to aid in removing the arctic disguise . [The Count]6347-the count , at last issuing from [his]6347-the count dreadnought , threatened to overwhelm [her]6343-the little white countess with it as with an avalanche . "[4218-papa] Come , then , " said [she]6343-the little white countess , bending to invite the fall , and when it was playfully advanced above [her]6343-the little white countess head , bounding out of reach like some little chamois . [Her]6343-the little white countess movements had the supple softness , the velvet grace of a kitten ; [her]6343-the little white countess laugh was clearer than the ring of silver and crystal ; as [she]6343-the little white countess took [[her]6343-the little white countess sire]639-her sire 's cold hands and rubbed them , and stood on tiptoe to reach [his]639-her sire lips for a kiss , there seemed to shine round [her]6343-the little white countess a halo of loving delight . [The grave and reverend seignor]6349-the grave and reverend seignor looked down on [her]6343-the little white countess as [men]4397-men do look on what is the apple of [their]4397-men eye . "[130-mrs. bretton] [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , " said [he]0-i : "[130-mrs. bretton] what am [I]0-i to do with [this daughter]2695-this daughter or daughterling of [mine]0-i ? [She]2695-this daughter neither grows in wisdom nor in stature . Do n't [you]0-i find [her]2695-this daughter pretty nearly as much [the child]4206-the child as [she]2695-this daughter was ten years ago ? " "[0-i] [She]2695-this daughter can not be more [the child]4206-the child than [this great boy of mine]2698-this great boy of mine , " said [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , who was in conflict with [[her]130-mrs. bretton son]532-her son about some change of dress [she]130-mrs. bretton deemed advisable , and which [he]532-her son resisted . [He]532-her son stood leaning against [the Dutch dresser]6352-the dutch dresser , laughing and keeping [her]4272-mamma at arm 's length . "[2695-this daughter] Come , [mamma]4272-mamma , " said [he]532-her son , "[4272-mamma] by way of compromise , and to secure for [us]2700-us inward as well as outward warmth , let [us]2700-us have a Christmas wassail - cup , and toast Old [England]19-england here , on the hearth . " So , while [the Count]6347-the count stood by the fire , and [Paulina Mary]141-paulina still danced to and fro - happy in [the liberty of [the wide hall - like kitchen]6355-the wide hall - like kitchen]6354-the liberty of the wide hall - like kitchen - [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton [herself]130-mrs. bretton instructed [Martha]286-martha to spice and heat the wassail - bowl , and , pouring the draught into a Bretton flagon , it was served round , reaming hot , by means of a small silver vessel , which [I]2695-this daughter recognised as [Graham]135-graham 's christening - cup . "[2695-this daughter] Here 's to [Auld Lang Syne]354-auld lang syne ! " said [the Count]6347-the count ; holding the glancing cup on high . Then , looking at [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . - "[2700-us] [We]2700-us twa [ha]2701-ha ' paidlet [i]0-i ' the burn Fra morning sun till dine , But seas between [us]2700-us braid ha ' roared [Sin ' auld lane syne]2702-sin ' auld lane syne . " And surely ye'll be [your]141-paulina pint - stoup , And surely [I]2700-us 'll be [mine]2700-us ; And [we]2700-us 'll taste a cup o ' kindness yet For auld lang syne . "[2700-us] " Scotch ! Scotch ! "[141-paulina] cried [Paulina]141-paulina ; " [papa]4218-papa is talking [Scotch]355-scotch ; and Scotch [he]4218-papa is , partly . [We]2700-us are [Home]542-home and [de Bassompierre]141-paulina , [Caledonian and Gallic]356-caledonian and gallic . "[141-paulina] " And is that a Scotch reel [you]141-paulina are dancing , [[you]141-paulina Highland fairy]6359-you highland fairy ? "[643-her father] asked [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father . " [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , there will be a green ring growing up in the middle of [[your]130-mrs. bretton kitchen]6360-your kitchen shortly . [I]643-her father would not answer for [her]6361-her being quite cannie : [she]6361-her is [a strange little mortal]6362-a strange little mortal . "[643-her father] " Tell [Lucy]333-lucy to dance with [me]134-mr. home , [papa]4218-papa ; there is [Lucy Snowe]333-lucy . "[134-mr. home] [Mr. Home]134-mr. home there was still quite as much about [him]134-mr. home of plain Mr. Home as of [proud Count de Bassompierre]353-the count de bassompierre held [his]353-the count de bassompierre hand out to [me]0-i , saying kindly , " [he]353-the count de bassompierre remembered [me]353-the count de bassompierre well ; and , even had [his]353-the count de bassompierre own memory been less trustworthy , [my]353-the count de bassompierre name was so often on [[his]353-the count de bassompierre daughter]686-his daughter 's lips , and [he]353-the count de bassompierre had listened to so many long tales about [me]353-the count de bassompierre , [I]353-the count de bassompierre should seem like [an old acquaintance]1862-an old acquaintance . "[353-the count de bassompierre] [Every one now]2704-every one now had tasted the wassail - cup except [Paulina]141-paulina , whose pas de fee , ou de fantaisie , [nobody]4256-nobody thought of interrupting to offer so profanatory a draught ; but [she]141-paulina was not to be overlooked , nor baulked of [her]141-paulina mortal privileges . " Let [me]141-paulina taste , "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina to [Graham]135-graham , as [he]135-graham was putting the cup on the shelf of the dresser out of [her]141-paulina reach . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton and [Mr. Home]134-mr. home were now engaged in conversation . [Dr. John]135-graham had not been unobservant of the fairy 's dance ; [he]135-graham had watched it , and [he]135-graham had liked it . To say nothing of the softness and beauty of the movements , eminently grateful to [his]135-graham grace - loving eye , that ease in [[[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's house]2707-his mother 's house charmed [him]135-graham , for it set [him]135-graham at ease : again [she]141-paulina seemed [a child]4415-a child for [him]135-graham - again , almost [[his]135-graham playmate]2709-his playmate . [I]0-i wondered how [he]135-graham would speak to [her]141-paulina ; [I]0-i had not yet seen [him]135-graham address [her]141-paulina ; [his]135-graham first words proved that the old days of " little [Polly]141-paulina "[135-graham] had been recalled to [his]135-graham mind by this evening 's child - like light - heartedness . " [[Your]135-graham ladyship]4279-your ladyship wishes for the tankard ? "[135-graham] " [I]135-graham think [I]135-graham said so . [I]135-graham think [I]135-graham intimated as much . "[135-graham] " Could n't consent to a step of the kind on any account . Sorry for it , but could n't do it . "[135-graham] " Why ? [I]135-graham am quite well now : it ca n't break [my]135-graham collar - bone again , or dislocate [my]135-graham shoulder . Is it wine ? "[135-graham] " No ; nor dew . "[135-graham] " [I]135-graham do n't want dew ; [I]135-graham do n't like dew : but what is it ? "[135-graham] " Ale - strong ale - old October ; brewed , perhaps , when [I]135-graham was born . "[135-graham] " [It]6367-it must be curious : is it good ? "[135-graham] " Excessively good . "[135-graham] And [he]135-graham took it down , administered to [himself]135-graham a second dose of this mighty elixir , expressed in [his]135-graham mischievous eyes extreme contentment with the same , and solemnly replaced the cup on the shelf . " [I]141-paulina should like a little , "[141-paulina] said [Paulina]141-paulina , looking up ; " [I]141-paulina never had any ' old October : ' is it sweet ? "[141-paulina] " Perilously sweet , "[135-graham] said [Graham]135-graham . [She]141-paulina continued to look up exactly with the countenance of [a child that longs for some prohibited dainty]2710-a child that longs for some prohibited dainty . At last [the Doctor]4288-the doctor relented , took it down , and indulged [himself]135-graham in the gratification of letting [her]141-paulina taste from [his]135-graham hand ; [his]135-graham eyes , always expressive in the revelation of pleasurable feelings , luminously and smilingly avowed that it was a gratification ; and [he]135-graham prolonged it by so regulating the position of the cup that only a drop at a time could reach the rosy , sipping lips by which its brim was courted . " A little more - a little more , "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina , petulantly touching [his]135-graham hand with the forefinger , to make [him]135-graham incline the cup more generously and yieldingly . " It smells of spice and sugar , but [I]135-graham ca n't taste it ; [your]135-graham wrist is so stiff , and [you]135-graham are so stingy . "[135-graham] [He]135-graham indulged [her]141-paulina , whispering , however , with gravity : " Do n't tell [[my]135-graham mother]4268-my mother or [Lucy]333-lucy ; [they]6369-they would n't approve . "[135-graham] " Nor do [I]141-paulina , "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina , passing into another tone and manner as soon as [she]141-paulina had fairly assayed the beverage , just as if it had acted upon [her]141-paulina like some disenchanting draught , undoing the work of [a wizard]2712-a wizard : " [I]141-paulina find it anything but sweet ; it is bitter and hot , and takes away [my]141-paulina breath . [Your]135-graham old October was only desirable while forbidden . Thank [you]135-graham , no more . "[141-paulina] And , with a slight bend - careless , but as graceful as [her]141-paulina dance - [she]141-paulina glided from [him]135-graham and rejoined [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father . [I]0-i think [she]141-paulina had spoken truth : [the child of seven]2714-the child of seven was in [the girl of seventeen]2675-the girl of seventeen . [Graham]135-graham looked after [her]141-paulina a little baffled , a little puzzled ; [his]135-graham eye was on [her]141-paulina a good deal during the rest of the evening , but [she]141-paulina did not seem to notice [him]135-graham . As [we]2716-we ascended to [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room for tea , [she]141-paulina took [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father 's arm : [her]141-paulina natural place seemed to be at [his]643-her father side ; [her]141-paulina eyes and [her]141-paulina ears were dedicated to [him]643-her father . [He]643-her father and [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton were [the chief talkers of [our]2716-we little party]2719-the chief talkers of our little party , and [Paulina]141-paulina was [[their]2719-the chief talkers of our little party best listener]2720-their best listener , attending closely to all that was said , prompting the repetition of this or that trait or adventure . " And where were [you]643-her father at such a time , [papa]4218-papa ? And what did [you]643-her father say then ? And tell [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton what happened on that occasion . "[141-paulina] Thus [she]141-paulina drew [him]643-her father out . [She]141-paulina did not again yield to any effervescence of glee ; the infantine sparkle was exhaled for the night : [she]141-paulina was soft , thoughtful , and docile . It was pretty to see [her]141-paulina bid good - night ; [her]141-paulina manner to [Graham]135-graham was touched with dignity : in [her]141-paulina very slight smile and quiet bow spoke [the Countess]2721-the countess , and [Graham]135-graham could not but look grave , and bend responsive . [I]0-i saw [he]135-graham hardly knew how to blend together in [his]135-graham ideas [the dancing fairy and delicate dame]2722-the dancing fairy and delicate dame . Next day , when [we]2723-we were all assembled round the breakfast - table , shivering and fresh from the morning 's chill ablutions , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton pronounced a decree that [nobody , who was not forced by dire necessity]2724-nobody , who was not forced by dire necessity , should quit [[her]130-mrs. bretton house]6212-her house that day . Indeed , egress seemed next to impossible ; the drift darkened the lower panes of the casement , and , on looking out , [one]607-one saw the sky and air vexed and dim , the wind and snow in angry conflict . There was no fall now , but what had already descended was torn up from the earth , whirled round by brief shrieking gusts , and cast into a hundred fantastic forms . [The Countess]2721-the countess seconded [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . " [Papa]140-papa shall not go out , "[2721-the countess] said [she]2721-the countess , placing a seat for [herself]2721-the countess beside [[her]2721-the countess father]643-her father 's arm - chair . " [I]2721-the countess will look after [him]140-papa . [You]140-papa wo n't go into [town]4930-town , will [you]140-papa , [papa]4218-papa ? "[2721-the countess] " Ay , and No , "[2721-the countess] was the answer . " If [you]140-papa and [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton are very good to [me]2721-the countess , [Polly]141-paulina - kind , [you]140-papa know , and attentive ; if [you]140-papa pet [me]2721-the countess in a very nice manner , and make much of [me]2721-the countess , [I]2721-the countess may possibly be induced to wait an hour after breakfast and see whether this razor - edged wind settles . But , [you]140-papa see , [you]140-papa give [me]2721-the countess no breakfast ; [you]140-papa offer [me]2721-the countess nothing : [you]140-papa let [me]2721-the countess starve . "[2721-the countess] " Quick ! please , [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , and pour out the coffee , "[141-paulina] entreated [Paulina]141-paulina , " whilst [I]141-paulina take care of [the Count de Bassompierre]353-the count de bassompierre in other respects : since [he]353-the count de bassompierre grew into [a Count]6373-a count , [he]353-the count de bassompierre has needed so much attention . "[141-paulina] [She]141-paulina separated and prepared a roll . " There , [papa]4218-papa , are [your]4218-papa ' pistolets ' charged , "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina . " And there is some marmalade , just the same sort of marmalade [we]6375-we used to have at [Bretton]135-graham , and which [you]4218-papa said was as good as if it had been conserved in [Scotland]91-scotland - "[141-paulina] " And which [[your]4218-papa little ladyship]6376-your little ladyship used to beg for [[my]130-mrs. bretton boy]693-my boy - do [you]4218-papa remember that ? "[130-mrs. bretton] interposed [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . " Have [you]4218-papa forgotten how [you]4218-papa would come to [my]130-mrs. bretton elbow and touch [my]130-mrs. bretton sleeve with the whisper , ' Please , [ma'am]4221-ma'am , something good for [Graham]135-graham - a little marmalade , or honey , or jam ? "[130-mrs. bretton] ' " No , [mamma]4272-mamma , "[135-graham] broke in [Dr. John]135-graham , laughing , yet reddening ; " it surely was not so : [I]135-graham could not have cared for these things . "[135-graham] " Did [he]135-graham or did [he]135-graham not , [Paulina]141-paulina ? "[141-paulina] " [He]135-graham liked them , "[141-paulina] asserted [Paulina]141-paulina . " Never blush for it , [John]135-graham , "[134-mr. home] said [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , encouragingly . " [I]134-mr. home like [them]6380-them [myself]134-mr. home yet , and always did . And [Polly]141-paulina showed [her]141-paulina sense in catering for [a friend]1797-a friend 's material comforts : it was [I]134-mr. home who put [her]141-paulina into the way of such good manners - nor do [I]134-mr. home let [her]141-paulina forget them . [Polly]141-paulina , offer [me]134-mr. home a small slice of that tongue . "[134-mr. home] " There , [papa]4218-papa : but remember [you]4218-papa are only waited upon with this assiduity ; on condition of being persuadable , and reconciling [yourself]4218-papa to [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse for the day . "[141-paulina] " [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , "[6347-the count] said [the Count]6347-the count , " [I]6347-the count want to get rid of [[my]6347-the count daughter]1804-my daughter - to send [her]1804-my daughter to [school]675-school . Do [you]130-mrs. bretton know of [any good school]6385-any good school ? "[6347-the count] " There is [[Lucy]333-lucy 's place]6386-lucy 's place - [Madame Beck]190-madame 's . "[141-paulina] " [Miss Snowe]142-lucy is in [a school]939-a school ? "[141-paulina] " [I]0-i am [a teacher]4895-a teacher , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , and was rather glad of the opportunity of saying this . For a little while [I]0-i had been feeling as if placed in a false position . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton and [son]6335-son knew [my]0-i circumstances ; but [the Count]6347-the count and [[his]6347-the count daughter]686-his daughter did not . [They]2733-they might choose to vary by some shades [their]2733-they hitherto cordial manner towards [me]0-i , when aware of [my]0-i grade in society . [I]0-i spoke then readily : but a swarm of thoughts [I]0-i had not anticipated nor invoked , rose dim at the words , making [me]0-i sigh involuntarily . [Mr. Home]134-mr. home did not lift [his]134-mr. home eyes from [his]134-mr. home breakfast - plate for about two minutes , nor did [he]134-mr. home speak ; perhaps [he]134-mr. home had not caught the words - perhaps [he]134-mr. home thought that on a confession of that nature , politeness would interdict comment : [the Scotch]6172-the scotch are proverbially proud ; and homely as was [Mr. Home]134-mr. home in look , simple in habits and tastes , [I]0-i have all along intimated that [he]134-mr. home was not without [his]134-mr. home share of the national quality . Was [his]134-mr. home a pseudo pride ? was it real dignity ? [I]0-i leave the question undecided in its wide sense . Where it concerned [me]0-i individually [I]0-i can only answer : then , and always , [he]134-mr. home showed [himself]134-mr. home [a true - hearted gentleman]2735-a true - hearted gentleman . By nature [he]134-mr. home was [a feeler]2736-a feeler and [a thinker]2737-a thinker ; over [his]134-mr. home emotions and [his]134-mr. home reflections spread a mellowing of melancholy ; more than a mellowing : in trouble and bereavement it became a cloud . [He]134-mr. home did not know much about [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy ; what [he]134-mr. home knew , [he]134-mr. home did not very accurately comprehend : indeed [his]134-mr. home misconceptions of [my]0-i character often made [me]0-i smile ; but [he]134-mr. home saw [my]0-i walk in life lay rather on the shady side of [the hill]2738-the hill : [he]134-mr. home gave [me]0-i credit for doing [my]0-i endeavour to keep the course honestly straight ; [he]134-mr. home would have helped [me]0-i if [he]134-mr. home could : having no opportunity of helping , [he]134-mr. home still wished [me]0-i well . When [he]134-mr. home did look at [me]0-i , [his]134-mr. home eye was kind ; when [he]134-mr. home did speak , [his]134-mr. home voice was benevolent . " [Yours]0-i , "[134-mr. home] said [he]134-mr. home , " is an arduous calling . [I]134-mr. home wish [you]0-i health and strength to win in it - success . "[134-mr. home] [[His]134-mr. home fair little daughter]2739-his fair little daughter did not take the information quite so composedly : [she]2739-his fair little daughter fixed on [me]0-i a pair of eyes wide with wonder - almost with dismay . " Are [you]134-mr. home [a teacher]4895-a teacher ? "[2739-his fair little daughter] cried [she]2739-his fair little daughter . Then , having paused on the unpalatable idea , " Well , [I]2739-his fair little daughter never knew what [you]134-mr. home were , nor ever thought of asking : for [me]2739-his fair little daughter , [you]134-mr. home were always [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy . "[2739-his fair little daughter] " And what am [I]0-i now ? "[0-i] [I]0-i could not forbear inquiring . " [Yourself]134-mr. home , of course . But do [you]134-mr. home really teach [here]4212-here , in [Villette]3-villette ? "[0-i] " [I]643-her father really do . "[643-her father] " And do [you]134-mr. home like it ? "[643-her father] " Not always . "[0-i] " And why do [you]134-mr. home go on with it ? "[643-her father] [[Her]2739-his fair little daughter father]643-her father looked at , and , [I]0-i feared , was going to check [her]2739-his fair little daughter ; but [he]643-her father only said , " Proceed , [Polly]141-paulina , proceed with that catechism - prove [yourself]141-paulina [the little wiseacre [you]141-paulina are]6391-the little wiseacre you are . If [Miss Snowe]142-lucy were to blush and look confused , [I]643-her father should have to bid [you]141-paulina hold [your]141-paulina tongue ; and [you]141-paulina and [I]643-her father would sit out the present meal in some disgrace ; but [she]142-lucy only smiles , so push [her]142-lucy hard , multiply the cross - questions . Well , [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , why do [you]134-mr. home go on with it ? "[643-her father] " Chiefly , [I]0-i fear , for the sake of the money [I]0-i get . "[0-i] " Not then from motives of pure philanthropy ? [Polly]141-paulina and [I]0-i were clinging to that hypothesis as the most lenient way of accounting for [your]141-paulina eccentricity . "[0-i] " No - no , [sir]976-sir . Rather for the roof of [shelter]6393-shelter [I]643-her father am thus enabled to keep over [my]643-her father head ; and for the comfort of mind it gives [me]643-her father to think that while [I]643-her father can work for [myself]643-her father , [I]643-her father am spared the pain of being a burden to [anybody]4239-anybody . "[643-her father] " [Papa]140-papa , say what [you]140-papa will , [I]0-i pity [Lucy]142-lucy . "[0-i] " Take up that pity , [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre ; take it up in both hands , as [you]141-paulina might [a little callow gosling squattering out of bounds without leave]6395-a little callow gosling squattering out of bounds without leave ; put it back in the warm nest of a heart whence it issued , and receive in [your]141-paulina ear this whisper . If [[my]0-i [Polly]141-paulina]6396-my polly ever came to know by experience the uncertain nature of [this world]4390-this world 's goods , [I]0-i should like [her]141-paulina to act as [Lucy]142-lucy acts : to work for [herself]141-paulina , that [she]141-paulina might burden neither [kith]6398-kith nor [kin]6399-kin . "[0-i] " Yes , [papa]4218-papa , "[2741-she] said [she]2741-she , pensively and tractably . " But poor [Lucy]142-lucy ! [I]2741-she thought [she]142-lucy was [a rich lady]6401-a rich lady , and had [rich friends]6402-rich friends . "[2741-she] " [You]4218-papa thought like [a little simpleton]6403-a little simpleton . [I]2742-i never thought so . When [I]2742-i had time to consider [Lucy]142-lucy 's manner and aspect , which was not often , [I]2742-i saw [she]142-lucy was [one who had to guard and not be guarded]6404-one who had to guard and not be guarded ; to act and not be served : and this lot has , [I]2742-i imagine , helped [her]142-lucy to an experience for which , if [she]142-lucy live long enough to realize its full benefit , [she]142-lucy may yet bless [Providence]160-providence . But [this school]4877-this school , "[2742-i] [he]2742-i pursued , changing [his]2742-i tone from grave to gay : " would [Madame Beck]190-madame admit [[my]0-i Polly]6396-my polly , do [you]0-i think , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy ? "[0-i] [I]0-i said , there needed but to try [Madame]190-madame ; it would soon be seen : [she]190-madame was fond of [English pupils]2743-english pupils . " If [you]2742-i , [sir]976-sir , "[0-i] [I]0-i added , " will but take [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre in [[your]2742-i carriage]6408-your carriage this very afternoon , [I]0-i think [I]0-i can answer for it that [Rosine]203-rosine , [the portress]1079-the portress , will not be very slow in answering [your]2742-i ring ; and [Madame]190-madame , [I]0-i am sure , will put on [her]190-madame best pair of gloves to come into [the salon]1040-the salon to receive [you]2742-i . "[0-i] " In that case , "[134-mr. home] responded [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , " [I]134-mr. home see no sort of necessity there is for delay . [Mrs. Hurst]340-mrs. hurst can send what [she]340-mrs. hurst calls [[her]340-mrs. hurst young lady]894-her young lady 's ' things ' after [her]340-mrs. hurst ; [Polly]141-paulina can settle down to [her]141-paulina horn - book before night ; and [you]2742-i , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy , [I]134-mr. home trust , will not disdain to cast an occasional eye upon [her]141-paulina , and let [me]134-mr. home know , from time to time , how [she]141-paulina gets on . [I]134-mr. home hope [you]2742-i approve of the arrangement , [Countess de Bassompierre]357-countess de bassompierre ? "[134-mr. home] [The Countess]2721-the countess hemmed and hesitated . " [I]2721-the countess thought , "[2721-the countess] said [she]2721-the countess , " [I]2721-the countess thought [I]2721-the countess had finished [my]2721-the countess education - "[2721-the countess] " That only proves how much [we]6412-we may be mistaken in [our]6412-we thoughts [I]0-i hold a far different opinion , as most of these will who have been auditors of [your]2742-i profound knowledge of life this morning . Ah , [[my]0-i little girl]4294-my little girl , [thou]6414-thou hast much to learn ; and [papa]4218-papa ought to have taught [thee]4294-my little girl more than [he]4218-papa has done ! Come , there is nothing for it but to try [Madame Beck]190-madame ; and the weather seems settling , and [I]0-i have finished [my]0-i breakfast - "[0-i] " But , [papa]4218-papa ! "[2721-the countess] " Well ? "[2721-the countess] " [I]0-i see an obstacle . "[0-i] " [I]2721-the countess do n't at all . "[2721-the countess] " It is enormous , [papa]4218-papa ; it can never be got over ; it is as large as [you]4218-papa in [your]4218-papa greatcoat , and the snowdrift on the top . "[2721-the countess] " And , like that snowdrift , capable of melting ? "[0-i] " No ! it is of too - too solid flesh : it is just [your]4218-papa own self . [Miss Lucy]142-lucy , warn [Madame Beck]190-madame not to listen to any overtures about taking [me]2721-the countess , because , in the end , it would turn out that [she]190-madame would have to take [papa]4218-papa too : as [he]4218-papa is so teasing , [I]2721-the countess will just tell tales about [him]4218-papa . [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton and all of [you]4218-papa listen : About five years ago , when [I]2721-the countess was twelve years old , [he]4218-papa took it into [his]4218-papa head that [he]4218-papa was spoiling [me]2721-the countess ; that [I]2721-the countess was growing unfitted for [the world]811-the world , and [I]2721-the countess do n't know what , and nothing would serve or satisfy [him]4218-papa , but [I]2721-the countess must go to [school]675-school . [I]2721-the countess cried , and so on ; but [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre proved hard - hearted , quite firm and flinty , and to [school]675-school [I]2721-the countess went . What was the result ? In the most admirable manner , [papa]4218-papa came to [school]675-school likewise : every other day [he]4218-papa called to see [me]2721-the countess . [Madame Aigredoux]358-madame aigredoux grumbled , but it was of no use ; and so , at last , [papa]4218-papa and [I]2721-the countess were both , in a manner , expelled . [Lucy]142-lucy can just tell [Madame Beck]190-madame this little trait : it is only fair to let [her]190-madame know what [she]190-madame has to expect . "[2721-the countess] [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton asked [Mr. Home]134-mr. home what [he]134-mr. home had to say in answer to this statement . As [he]134-mr. home made no defence , judgment was given against [him]134-mr. home , and [Paulina]141-paulina triumphed . But [she]141-paulina had other moods besides [the arch and naive]2745-the arch and naive . After breakfast ; when [the two elders]2746-the two elders withdrew - [I]0-i suppose to talk over certain of [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's business matters - and [the Countess]2721-the countess , [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , and [I]0-i , were for a short time alone together - all [the child]4206-the child left [her]141-paulina ; with [us]2749-us , more nearly [[her]141-paulina companions]1668-her companions in age , [she]141-paulina rose at once to [the little lady]2601-the little lady : [her]141-paulina very face seemed to alter ; that play of feature , and candour of look , which , when [she]141-paulina spoke to [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father , made it quite dimpled and round , yielded to an aspect more thoughtful , and lines distincter and less mobile . No doubt [Graham]135-graham noted the change as well as I. [He]135-graham stood for some minutes near the window , looking out at the snow ; presently [he]135-graham , approached the hearth , and entered into conversation , but not quite with [his]135-graham usual ease : fit topics did not seem to rise to [his]135-graham lips ; [he]135-graham chose them fastidiously , hesitatingly , and consequently infelicitously : [he]135-graham spoke vaguely of [Villette]3-villette - [its]3-villette inhabitants , [its]3-villette notable sights and [buildings]2029-buildings . [He]135-graham was answered by [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre in quite womanly sort ; with intelligence , with a manner not indeed wholly disindividualized : a tone , a glance , a gesture , here and there , rather animated and quick than measured and stately , still recalled [little Polly]141-paulina ; but yet there was so fine and even a polish , so calm and courteous a grace , gilding and sustaining these peculiarities , that [a less sensitive man]2754-a less sensitive man than [Graham]135-graham would not have ventured to seize upon [them]2755-them as vantage points , leading to franker intimacy . Yet while [Dr. Bretton]135-graham continued subdued , and , for [him]135-graham , sedate , [he]135-graham was still observant . Not one of those petty impulses and natural breaks escaped [him]135-graham . [He]135-graham did not miss one characteristic movement , one hesitation in language , or one lisp in utterance . At times , in speaking fast , [she]348-miss de bassompierre still lisped ; but coloured whenever such lapse occurred , and in a painstaking , conscientious manner , quite as amusing as the slight error , repeated the word more distinctly . Whenever [she]348-miss de bassompierre did this , [Dr. Bretton]135-graham smiled . Gradually , as [they]2756-they conversed , the restraint on each side slackened : might the conference have but been prolonged , [I]0-i believe it would soon have become genial : already to [Paulina]141-paulina 's lip and cheek returned the wreathing , dimpling smile ; [she]141-paulina lisped once , and forgot to correct [herself]141-paulina . And [Dr. John]135-graham , [I]0-i know not how [he]135-graham changed , but change [he]135-graham did . [He]135-graham did not grow gayer - no raillery , no levity sparkled across [his]135-graham aspect - but [his]135-graham position seemed to become one of more pleasure to [himself]135-graham , and [he]135-graham spoke [his]135-graham augmented comfort in readier language , in tones more suave . Ten years ago [this pair]2757-this pair had always found abundance to say to [each other]4318-each other ; the intervening decade had not narrowed the experience or impoverished the intelligence of either : besides , there are certain natures of which the mutual influence is such , that the more [they]2757-this pair say , the more [they]2757-this pair have to say . For these out of association grows adhesion , and out of adhesion , amalgamation . [Graham]135-graham , however , must go : [his]2759-his was a profession whose claims are neither to be ignored nor deferred . [He]135-graham left [the room]600-the room ; but before [he]135-graham could leave [the house]518-the house there was a return . [I]0-i am sure [he]135-graham came back - not for the paper , or card in [his]135-graham desk , which formed [his]135-graham ostensible errand - but to assure [himself]135-graham , by one more glance , that [Paulina]141-paulina 's aspect was really such as memory was bearing away : that [he]135-graham had not been viewing [her]141-paulina somehow by a partial , artificial light , and making a fond mistake . No ! [he]135-graham found the impression true - rather , indeed , [he]135-graham gained than lost by this return : [he]135-graham took away with [him]135-graham a parting look - shy , but very soft - as beautiful , as innocent , as any little fawn could lift out of its cover of fern , or any lamb from its meadow - bed . Being left alone , [Paulina]141-paulina and [I]0-i kept silence for some time : [we]2762-we both took out some work , and plied a mute and diligent task . The white - wood workbox of old days was now replaced by one inlaid with precious mosaic , and furnished with implements of gold ; the tiny and trembling fingers that could scarce guide the needle , though tiny still , were now swift and skilful : but there was the same busy knitting of the brow , the same little dainty mannerisms , the same quick turns and movements - now to replace a stray tress , and anon to shake from the silken skirt some imaginary atom of dust - some clinging fibre of thread . That morning [I]0-i was disposed for silence : the austere fury of the winter - day had on [me]0-i an awing , hushing influence . That passion of [January]359-january , so white and so bloodless , was not yet spent : the storm had raved itself hoarse , but seemed no nearer exhaustion . Had [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra been [[my]0-i companion]546-my companion in [that drawing - room]2764-that drawing - room , [she]179-ginevra would not have suffered [me]0-i to muse and listen undisturbed . The presence just gone from [us]2762-we would have been [her]179-ginevra theme ; and how [she]179-ginevra would have rung the changes on one topic ! how [she]179-ginevra would have pursued and pestered [me]0-i with questions and surmises - worried and oppressed [me]0-i with comments and confidences [I]0-i did not want , and longed to avoid . [Paulina Mary]141-paulina cast once or twice towards [me]0-i a quiet but penetrating glance of [her]141-paulina dark , full eye ; [her]141-paulina lips half opened , as if to the impulse of coming utterance : but [she]141-paulina saw and delicately respected [my]0-i inclination for silence . " This will not hold long , "[141-paulina] [I]0-i thought to [myself]0-i ; for [I]0-i was not accustomed to find in [women]4398-women or [girls]702-girls any power of self - control , or strength of self - denial . As far as [I]0-i knew [them]2767-their , the chance of a gossip about [their]2767-their usually trivial secrets , [their]2767-their often very washy and paltry feelings , was a treat not to be readily foregone . [The little Countess]6324-the little countess promised an exception : [she]6324-the little countess sewed till [she]6324-the little countess was tired of sewing , and then [she]6324-the little countess took a book . As chance would have it , [she]6324-the little countess had sought it in [[Dr. Bretton]135-graham 's own compartment]2769-dr. bretton 's own compartment of the bookcase ; and it proved to be an old Bretton book - some illustrated work of natural history . Often had [I]0-i seen [her]6324-the little countess standing at [Graham]135-graham 's side , resting that volume on [his]135-graham knee , and reading to [his]135-graham tuition ; and , when the lesson was over , begging , as a treat , that [he]135-graham would tell [her]6324-the little countess all about the pictures . [I]0-i watched [her]6324-the little countess keenly : here was a true test of that memory [she]6324-the little countess had boasted would [her]6324-the little countess recollections now be faithful ? Faithful ? It could not be doubted . As [she]6324-the little countess turned the leaves , over [her]6324-the little countess face passed gleam after gleam of expression , the least intelligent of which was a full greeting to [the Past]2770-the past . And then [she]6324-the little countess turned to the title - page , and looked at the name written in the schoolboy hand . [She]6324-the little countess looked at it long ; nor was [she]6324-the little countess satisfied with merely looking : [she]6324-the little countess gently passed over the characters the tips of [her]6324-the little countess fingers , accompanying the action with an unconscious but tender smile , which converted the touch into a caress . [Paulina]141-paulina loved the Past ; but the peculiarity of this little scene was , that [she]141-paulina said nothing : [she]141-paulina could feel without pouring out [her]141-paulina feelings in a flux of words . [She]141-paulina now occupied [herself]141-paulina at the bookcase for nearly an hour ; taking down volume after volume , and renewing [her]141-paulina acquaintance with each . This done , [she]141-paulina seated [herself]141-paulina on a low stool , rested [her]141-paulina cheek on [her]141-paulina hand , and thought , and still was mute . The sound of the front door opened below , a rush of cold wind , and [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father 's voice speaking to [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton in [the hall]573-the hall , startled [her]141-paulina at last . [She]141-paulina sprang up : [she]141-paulina was down - stairs in one second . " [Papa]140-papa ! [papa]4218-papa ! [you]4218-papa are not going out ? "[141-paulina] " [[My]141-paulina pet]4290-my pet , [I]141-paulina must go into [town]4930-town . "[141-paulina] " But it is too - too cold , [papa]4218-papa . "[141-paulina] And then [I]0-i heard [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre showing to [her]141-paulina how [he]643-her father was well provided against the weather ; and how [he]643-her father was going to have [the carriage]5783-the carriage , and to be quite snugly sheltered ; and , in short , proving that [she]141-paulina need not fear for [his]643-her father comfort . " But [you]4218-papa will promise to come back here this evening , before it is quite dark ; - [you]4218-papa and [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , both , in [the carriage]5783-the carriage ? It is not fit to ride . "[141-paulina] " Well , if [I]178-m. de bassompierre see [the Doctor]4288-the doctor , [I]178-m. de bassompierre will tell [him]4288-the doctor [a lady]1639-a lady has laid on [him]4288-the doctor [her]1639-a lady commands to take care of [his]4288-the doctor precious health and come [home]542-home early under [my]178-m. de bassompierre escort . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Yes , [you]4218-papa must say [a lady]1639-a lady ; and [he]4288-the doctor will think it is [[his]4288-the doctor mother]534-his mother , and be obedient And , papa , mind to come soon , for [I]141-paulina shall watch and listen . "[141-paulina] The door closed , and [the carriage]5783-the carriage rolled softly through the snow ; and back returned [the Countess]2721-the countess , pensive and anxious . [She]2721-the countess did listen , and watch , when evening closed ; but it was in stillest sort : walking [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room with quite noiseless step . [She]2721-the countess checked at intervals [her]2721-the countess velvet march ; inclined [her]2721-the countess ear , and consulted the night sounds : [I]0-i should rather say , the night silence ; for now , at last , the wind was fallen . The sky , relieved of its avalanche , lay naked and pale : through the barren boughs of [the avenue]5681-the avenue [we]2778-we could see it well , and note also the polar splendour of the new - year moon - an orb white as a world of ice . Nor was it late when [we]2778-we saw also the return of [the carriage]5783-the carriage . [Paulina]141-paulina had no dance of welcome for this evening . It was with a sort of gravity that [she]141-paulina took immediate possession of [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father , as [he]643-her father entered [the room]600-the room ; but [she]141-paulina at once made [him]643-her father [[her]141-paulina entire property]2782-her entire property , led [him]643-her father to [the seat of [her]141-paulina choice]2783-the seat of her choice , and , while softly showering round [him]643-her father honeyed words of commendation for being so good and coming [home]542-home so soon , [you]2785-you would have thought it was entirely by the power of [her]141-paulina little hands [he]643-her father was put into [his]643-her father chair , and settled and arranged ; for [the strong man]2786-the strong man seemed to take pleasure in wholly yielding [himself]2786-the strong man to this dominion - potent only by love . [Graham]135-graham did not appear till some minutes after the Count . [Paulina]141-paulina half turned when [his]135-graham step was heard : [they]2787-they spoke , but only a word or two ; [their]2787-they fingers met a moment , but obviously with slight contact . [Paulina]141-paulina remained beside [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father ; [Graham]135-graham threw [himself]135-graham into a seat on the other side of [the room]600-the room . It was well that [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton and [Mr. Home]134-mr. home had a great deal to say to [each other]4318-each other - almost an inexhaustible fund of discourse in old recollections ; otherwise , [I]0-i think , [our]2791-our party would have been but a still one that evening . After tea , [Paulina]141-paulina 's quick needle and pretty golden thimble were busily plied by the lamp - light , but [her]141-paulina tongue rested , and [her]141-paulina eyes seemed reluctant to raise often their lids , so smooth and so full- fringed . [Graham]135-graham , too , must have been tired with [his]135-graham day 's work : [he]135-graham listened dutifully to [[his]135-graham elders]2792-his elders and betters , said very little [himself]135-graham , and followed with [his]135-graham eye the gilded glance of [Paulina]141-paulina 's thimble ; as if it had been some bright moth on the wing , or the golden head of some darting little yellow serpent . CHAPTER XXVI . A BURIAL . From this date [my]0-i life did not want variety ; [I]0-i went out a good deal , with the entire consent of [Madame Beck]190-madame , who perfectly approved the grade of [my]0-i acquaintance . That [worthy directress]2793-worthy directress had never from the first treated [me]0-i otherwise than with respect ; and when [she]190-madame found that [I]0-i was liable to frequent invitations from [a chateau]5678-a chateau and [a great hotel]2795-a great hotel , respect improved into distinction . Not that [she]190-madame was fulsome about it : [Madame]190-madame , in all things worldly , was in nothing weak ; there was measure and sense in [her]190-madame hottest pursuit of self - interest , calm and considerateness in [her]190-madame closest clutch of gain ; without , then , laying [herself]190-madame open to [my]0-i contempt as [a time - server]2796-a time - server and [a toadie]2797-a toadie , [she]190-madame marked with tact that [she]190-madame was pleased [people connected with [[her]190-madame establishment]5087-her establishment]2798-people connected with her establishment should frequent [such associates as must cultivate and elevate]2800-such associates as must cultivate and elevate , rather than [those who might deteriorate and depress]2801-those who might deteriorate and depress . [She]190-madame never praised either [me]0-i or [[my]0-i friends]2626-my friends ; only once when [she]190-madame was sitting in the sun in [the garden]1165-the garden , a cup of coffee at [her]190-madame elbow and the Gazette in [her]190-madame hand , looking very comfortable , and [I]0-i came up and asked leave of absence for the evening , [she]190-madame delivered [herself]190-madame in this gracious sort : - " Oui , oui , ma bonne amie : je vous donne la permission de coeur et de gre . Votre travail dans ma maison a toujours ete admirable , rempli de zele et de discretion : vous avez bien le droit de vous amuser . Sortez donc tant que vous voudrez . Quant a votre choix de connaissances , j'en suis contente ; c'est sage , digne , laudable . "[190-madame] [She]190-madame closed [her]190-madame lips and resumed the Gazette . [The reader]759-the reader will not too gravely regard the little circumstance that about this time the triply - enclosed packet of five letters temporarily disappeared from [my]0-i bureau . Blank dismay was naturally [my]0-i first sensation on making the discovery ; but in a moment [I]0-i took heart of grace . " [Patience]360-patience ! "[0-i] whispered [I]0-i to [myself]0-i . " Let [me]0-i say nothing , but wait peaceably ; [they]2805-they will come back again . "[0-i] And [they]2805-they did come back : [they]2805-they had only been on a short visit to [[Madame]190-madame 's chamber]2806-madame 's chamber ; having passed [their]2805-they examination , [they]2805-they came back duly and truly : [I]0-i found [them]2805-they all right the next day . [I]0-i wonder what [she]190-madame thought of [my]0-i correspondence ? What estimate did [she]190-madame form of [Dr. John Bretton]135-graham 's epistolary powers ? In what light did the often very pithy thoughts , the generally sound , and sometimes original opinions , set , without pretension , in an easily - flowing , spirited style , appear to [her]190-madame ? How did [she]190-madame like that genial , half humorous vein , which to [me]0-i gave such delight ? What did [she]190-madame think of the few kind words scattered here and there - not thickly , as the diamonds were scattered in [the valley of [Sindbad]92-sindbad]2807-the valley of sindbad , but sparely , as those gems lie in unfabled beds ? Oh , [Madame Beck]190-madame ! how seemed these things to [you]2808-you ? [I]0-i think in [Madame Beck]190-madame 's eyes the five letters found a certain favour . One day after [she]190-madame had borrowed them of [me]0-i in speaking of so suave [a little woman]2809-a little woman , [one]607-one ought to use suave terms , [I]0-i caught [her]190-madame examining [me]0-i with a steady contemplative gaze , a little puzzled , but not at all malevolent . It was during that brief space between lessons , when [the pupils]1102-the pupils turned out into [the court]1612-the court for a quarter of an hour 's recreation ; [she]190-madame and [I]0-i remained in the first classe alone : when [I]0-i met [her]190-madame eye , [her]190-madame thoughts forced themselves partially through [her]190-madame lips . " Il y a , "[190-madame] said [she]190-madame , " quelquechose de bien remarquable dans le caractere Anglais . "[190-madame] " How , [Madame]4736-madame ? "[190-madame] [She]190-madame gave a little laugh , repeating the word " how "[190-madame] in English . " Je ne saurais vous dire ' how ; ' mais , enfin , les Anglais ont des idees a eux , en amitie , en amour , en tout . Mais au moins il n'est pas besoin de les surveiller , "[190-madame] [she]190-madame added , getting up and trotting away like the compact little pony [she]190-madame was . " Then [I]190-madame hope , "[190-madame] murmured [I]0-i to [myself]0-i , " [you]190-madame will graciously let alone [my]190-madame letters for the future . "[190-madame] Alas ! something came rushing into [my]0-i eyes , dimming utterly [their]2813-their vision , blotting from sight [the schoolroom]5162-the schoolroom , [the garden]1165-the garden , the bright winter sun , as [I]0-i remembered that never more would letters , such as [she]190-madame had read , come to [me]0-i . [I]0-i had seen the last of them . [That goodly river on whose banks [I]0-i had sojourned , of whose waves a few reviving drops had trickled to [my]0-i lips]2816-that goodly river on whose banks i had sojourned , of whose waves a few reviving drops had trickled to my lips , was bending to another course : it was leaving [[my]0-i little hut]2817-my little hut and field forlorn and sand - dry , pouring [its]2816-that goodly river on whose banks i had sojourned , of whose waves a few reviving drops had trickled to my lips wealth of waters far away . The change was right , just , natural ; not a word could be said : but [I]0-i loved [my]0-i Rhine , [my]0-i Nile ; [I]0-i had almost worshipped [[my]0-i Ganges]2818-my ganges , and [I]0-i grieved that the grand tide should roll estranged , should vanish like a false mirage . Though stoical , [I]0-i was not quite a stoic ; drops streamed fast on [my]0-i hands , on [my]0-i desk : [I]0-i wept one sultry shower , heavy and brief . But soon [I]0-i said to [myself]0-i , " The Hope [I]0-i am bemoaning suffered and made [me]0-i suffer much : it did not die till it was full time : following an agony so lingering , death ought to be welcome . "[0-i] Welcome [I]0-i endeavoured to make it . Indeed , long pain had made patience a habit . In the end [I]0-i closed the eyes of [my]0-i dead , covered its face , and composed its limbs with great calm . The letters , however , must be put away , out of sight : [people who have undergone bereavement]2819-people who have undergone bereavement always jealously gather together and lock away mementos : it is not supportable to be stabbed to the heart each moment by sharp revival of regret . One vacant holiday afternoon the Thursday going to [my]0-i treasure , with intent to consider its final disposal , [I]0-i perceived - and this time with a strong impulse of displeasure - that it had been again tampered with : the packet was there , indeed , but the ribbon which secured it had been untied and retied ; and by other symptoms [I]0-i knew that [my]0-i drawer had been visited . This was a little too much . [Madame Beck]190-madame [herself]190-madame was the soul of discretion , besides having as strong a brain and sound a judgment as ever furnished a human head ; that [she]190-madame should know the contents of [my]0-i casket , was not pleasant , but might be borne . [Little Jesuit]361-little jesuit inquisitress as [she]190-madame was , [she]190-madame could see things in a true light , and understand them in an unperverted sense ; but the idea that [she]190-madame had ventured to communicate information , thus gained , to [others]770-others ; that [she]190-madame had , perhaps , amused [herself]190-madame with [a companion]2821-a companion over documents , in [my]0-i eyes most sacred , shocked [me]0-i cruelly . Yet , that such was the case [I]0-i now saw reason to fear ; [I]0-i even guessed [[her]190-madame confidant]2822-her confidant . [[Her]190-madame kinsman]2823-her kinsman , [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul , had spent yesterday evening with [her]190-madame : [she]190-madame was much in the habit of consulting [him]2823-her kinsman , and of discussing with [him]2823-her kinsman matters [she]190-madame broached to [no one else]4263-no one else . This very morning , in class , [that gentleman]5254-that gentleman had favoured [me]0-i with a glance which [he]5254-that gentleman seemed to have borrowed from [Vashti]331-vashti , [the actress]2540-the actress ; [I]0-i had not at the moment comprehended that blue , yet lurid , flash out of [his]5254-that gentleman angry eye ; but [I]0-i read its meaning now . [He]5254-that gentleman , [I]0-i believed , was not apt to regard what concerned [me]0-i from a fair point of view , nor to judge [me]0-i with tolerance and candour : [I]0-i had always found [him]5254-that gentleman severe and suspicious : the thought that these letters , mere friendly letters as they were , had fallen once , and might fall again , into [his]5254-that gentleman hands , jarred [my]0-i very soul . What should [I]0-i do to prevent this ? In what corner of [this strange house]2827-this strange house was it possible to find security or secresy ? Where could a key be a safeguard , or a padlock a barrier ? In the grenier ? No , [I]0-i did not like [the grenier]2381-the grenier . Besides , most of the boxes and drawers there were mouldering , and did not lock . [Rats]2829-rats , too , gnawed their way through the decayed wood ; and mice made nests amongst the litter of their contents : [my]0-i dear letters most dear still , though Ichabod was written on their covers might be consumed by vermin ; certainly the writing would soon become obliterated by damp . No ; [the grenier]2381-the grenier would not do - but where then ? While pondering this problem , [I]0-i sat in the dormitory window - seat . It was a fine frosty afternoon ; the winter sun , already setting , gleamed pale on the tops of the garden - shrubs in the " allee defendue . "[1581-the nun] One great old pear - tree - [the nun]1581-the nun 's pear - tree - stood up a tall dryad skeleton , grey , gaunt , and stripped . A thought struck [me]0-i - one of those queer fantastic thoughts that will sometimes strike [solitary people]2832-solitary people . [I]0-i put on [my]0-i bonnet , cloak , and furs , and went out into [the city]4429-the city . Bending [my]0-i steps to [the old historical quarter of [the town]1306-the town , whose hoax and overshadowed precincts [I]0-i always sought by instinct in melancholy moods , [I]0-i wandered on from [street]2836-street to [street]2836-street]2834-the old historical quarter of the town , whose hoax and overshadowed precincts i always sought by instinct in melancholy moods , i wandered on from street to street , till , having crossed [a half deserted " place]6436-a half deserted " place "[2839-broker] or square , [I]0-i found [myself]0-i before [a sort of [broker]2839-broker 's shop]2838-a sort of broker 's shop ; [an ancient place , full of ancient things]2840-an ancient place , full of ancient things . What [I]0-i wanted was a metal box which might be soldered , or a thick glass jar or bottle which might be stoppered or sealed hermetically . Amongst miscellaneous heaps , [I]0-i found and purchased the latter article . [I]0-i then made a little roll of [my]0-i letters , wrapped them in oiled silk , bound them with twine , and , having put them in the bottle , got the old Jew broker to stopper , seal , and make it air - tight . While obeying [my]0-i directions , [he]2841-he glanced at [me]0-i now and then suspiciously from under [his]2841-he frost - white eyelashes . [I]0-i believe [he]2841-he thought there was some evil deed on hand . In all this [I]0-i had a dreary something - not pleasure - but a sad , lonely satisfaction . The impulse under which [I]0-i acted , the mood controlling [me]0-i , were similar to the impulse and the mood which had induced [me]0-i to visit the confessional . With quick walking [I]0-i regained [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat just at dark , and in time for dinner . At seven o'clock the moon rose . At half - past seven , when [the pupils]1102-the pupils and [teachers]1087-teachers were at study , and [Madame Beck]190-madame was with [[her]190-madame mother]550-her mother and [children]4815-children in [the salle - a - manger]1350-the salle - a - manger , when [the half - boarders]5197-the half - boarders were all gone [home]542-home , and [Rosine]203-rosine had left [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule , and all was still - [I]0-i shawled [myself]0-i , and , taking the sealed jar , stole out through the first - classe door , into the berceau and thence into [the " allee defendue]6437-the " allee defendue . "[362-methusaleh] [Methusaleh]362-methusaleh , the pear - tree , stood at the further end of this walk , near [my]0-i seat : [he]362-methusaleh rose up , dim and gray , above the lower shrubs round [him]362-methusaleh . Now [Methusaleh]362-methusaleh , though so very old , was of sound timber still ; only there was a hole , or rather a deep hollow , near [his]362-methusaleh root . [I]0-i knew there was such a hollow , hidden partly by ivy and creepers growing thick round ; and there [I]0-i meditated hiding [my]0-i treasure . But [I]0-i was not only going to hide a treasure - [I]0-i meant also to bury a grief . That grief over which [I]0-i had lately been weeping , as [I]0-i wrapped it in its winding- sheet , must be interred . Well , [I]0-i cleared away the ivy , and found the hole ; it was large enough to receive the jar , and [I]0-i thrust it deep in . In [a tool - shed at the bottom of [the garden]1165-the garden]2851-a tool - shed at the bottom of the garden , lay the relics of building - materials , left by masons lately employed to repair [a part of [the premises]1020-the premises]2853-a part of the premises . [I]0-i fetched thence a slate and some mortar , put the slate on the hollow , secured it with cement , covered the hole with black mould , and , finally , replaced the ivy . This done , [I]0-i rested , leaning against the tree ; lingering , like [any other mourner]2855-any other mourner , beside a newly - sodded grave . The air of the night was very still , but dim with a peculiar mist , which changed the moonlight into a luminous haze . In this air , or this mist , there was some quality - electrical , perhaps - which acted in strange sort upon [me]0-i . [I]0-i felt then as [I]0-i had felt a year ago in [England]19-england - on a night when the aurora borealis was streaming and sweeping round [heaven]1614-heaven , when , belated in [lonely fields]2857-lonely fields , [I]0-i had paused to watch that mustering of [an army with banners]2858-an army with banners - that quivering of serried lances - that swift ascent of [messengers]2859-messengers from below the north star to [the dark , high keystone of heaven 's arch]2860-the dark , high keystone of heaven 's arch . [I]0-i felt , not happy , far otherwise , but strong with reinforced strength . If life be a war , it seemed [my]0-i destiny to conduct it single - handed . [I]0-i pondered now how to break up [my]0-i winter - quarters - to leave [an encampment where food and forage]2861-an encampment where food and forage failed . Perhaps , to effect this change , another pitched battle must be fought with fortune ; if so , [I]0-i had a mind to the encounter : too poor to lose , [God]164-god might destine [me]0-i to gain . But what [road]2862-road was open ? - what plan available ? On this question [I]0-i was still pausing , when the moon , so dim hitherto , seemed to shine out somewhat brighter : a ray gleamed even white before [me]0-i , and a shadow became distinct and marked . [I]0-i looked more narrowly , to make out the cause of this well - defined contrast appearing a little suddenly in [the obscure alley]2863-the obscure alley : whiter and blacker it grew on [my]0-i eye : it took shape with instantaneous transformation . [I]0-i stood about three yards from [a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman . Five minutes passed . [I]0-i neither fled nor shrieked . [She]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman was there still . [I]0-i spoke . " Who are [you]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman ? and why do [you]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman come to [me]0-i ? "[0-i] [She]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman stood mute . [She]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman had no face - no features : all below [her]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman brow was masked with a white cloth ; but [she]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman had eyes , and [they]2865-they viewed [me]0-i . [I]0-i felt , if not brave , yet a little desperate ; and desperation will often suffice to fill the post and do the work of courage . [I]0-i advanced one step . [I]0-i stretched out [my]0-i hand , for [I]0-i meant to touch [her]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman . [She]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman seemed to recede . [I]0-i drew nearer : [her]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman recession , still silent , became swift . A mass of shrubs , full - leaved evergreens , laurel and dense yew , intervened between [me]0-i and what [I]0-i followed . Having passed that obstacle , [I]0-i looked and saw nothing . [I]0-i waited . [I]0-i said , - " If [you]2864-a tall , sable - robed , snowy - veiled woman have any errand to [men]4397-men , come back and deliver it . "[0-i] [Nothing]363-nothing spoke or re - appeared . This time there was no Dr. [John to whom to have recourse]2866-john to whom to have recourse : there was [no one]2867-no one to whom [I]0-i dared whisper the words , " [I]0-i have again seen [the nun]1581-the nun . "[0-i] [Paulina Mary]141-paulina sought [my]0-i frequent presence in [the Rue Crecy]6199-the rue crecy . In the old Bretton days , though [she]141-paulina had never professed [herself]141-paulina fond of [me]0-i , [[my]0-i society]2869-my society had soon become to [her]141-paulina a sort of unconscious necessary . [I]0-i used to notice that if [I]0-i withdrew to [[my]0-i room]1110-my room , [she]141-paulina would speedily come trotting after [me]0-i , and opening the door and peeping in , say , with [her]141-paulina little peremptory accent , - " Come down . Why do [you]0-i sit here by [yourself]0-i ? [You]0-i must come into [the parlour]1923-the parlour . "[141-paulina] In the same spirit [she]141-paulina urged [me]0-i now - " Leave [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette , "[141-paulina] [she]141-paulina said , " and come and live with [us]6441-us . [Papa]140-papa would give [you]0-i far more than [Madame Beck]190-madame gives [you]0-i . "[141-paulina] [Mr. Home]134-mr. home [himself]134-mr. home offered [me]0-i a handsome sum - thrice [my]0-i present salary - if [I]0-i would accept the office of companion to [[his]134-mr. home daughter]686-his daughter . [I]0-i declined . [I]0-i think [I]0-i should have declined had [I]0-i been poorer than [I]0-i was , and with scantier fund of resource , more stinted narrowness of future prospect . [I]0-i had not that vocation . [I]0-i could teach ; [I]0-i could give lessons ; but to be either [a private governess]2872-a private governess or [a companion]2821-a companion was unnatural to [me]0-i . Rather than fill [the former post in [any great house]2875-any great house]2874-the former post in any great house , [I]0-i would deliberately have taken [[a housemaid]2876-a housemaid 's place]2877-a housemaid 's place , bought a strong pair of gloves , swept [bedrooms]2878-bedrooms and staircases , and cleaned stoves and locks , in peace and independence . Rather than be [a companion]2821-a companion , [I]0-i would have made shirts and starved . [I]0-i was [no bright lady]2880-no bright lady 's shadow - not [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre 's . Overcast enough it was [my]0-i nature often to be ; of a subdued habit [I]0-i was : but the dimness and depression must both be voluntary - such as kept [me]0-i docile at [my]0-i desk , in the midst of [[my]0-i now well - accustomed pupils in [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's fist classe]2882-madame beck 's fist classe]2881-my now well - accustomed pupils in madame beck 's fist classe ; or alone , at [my]0-i own bedside , in [[her]190-madame dormitory]2883-her dormitory , or in [the alley]5354-the alley and seat which were called [mine]0-i , in [[her]190-madame garden]5097-her garden : [my]0-i qualifications were not convertible , nor adaptable ; they could not be made the foil of any gem , the adjunct of any beauty , the appendage of any greatness in [Christendom]55-christendom . [Madame Beck]190-madame and [I]0-i , without assimilating , understood [each other]4318-each other well . [I]0-i was not [[her]190-madame companion]2887-her companion , nor [[her]190-madame children 's governess]2888-her children 's governess ; [she]190-madame left [me]0-i free : [she]190-madame tied [me]0-i to nothing - not to [herself]190-madame - not even to [her]190-madame interests : once , when [she]190-madame had for a fortnight been called from [home]542-home by [a near relation]2890-a near relation 's illness , and on [her]190-madame return , all anxious and full of care about [her]190-madame establishment , lest something in [her]190-madame absence should have gone wrong finding that matters had proceeded much as usual , and that there was no evidence of glaring neglect - [she]190-madame made [each of [the teachers]4800-the teachers]1499-each of the teachers a present , in acknowledgment of steadiness . To [my]0-i bedside [she]190-madame came at twelve o'clock at night , and told [me]0-i [she]190-madame had no present for [me]0-i : " [I]190-madame must make fidelity advantageous to [the St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , "[190-madame] said [she]190-madame ; " if [I]190-madame attempt to make it advantageous to [you]0-i , there will arise misunderstanding between [us]6442-us - perhaps separation . One thing , however , [I]190-madame can do to please [you]0-i - leave [you]0-i alone with [your]0-i liberty : c'est - ce que je ferai . "[190-madame] [She]190-madame kept [her]190-madame word . Every slight shackle [she]190-madame had ever laid on [me]0-i , [she]190-madame , from that time , with quiet hand removed . Thus [I]0-i had pleasure in voluntarily respecting [her]190-madame rules : gratification in devoting double time , in taking double pains with [the pupils [she]190-madame committed to [my]0-i charge]2893-the pupils she committed to my charge . As to [Mary de Bassompierre]141-paulina , [I]0-i visited [her]141-paulina with pleasure , though [I]0-i would not live with [her]141-paulina . [My]0-i visits soon taught [me]0-i that it was unlikely even [my]0-i occasional and voluntary society would long be indispensable to [her]141-paulina . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , for [his]178-m. de bassompierre part , seemed impervious to this conjecture , blind to this possibility ; unconscious as [any child]2894-any child to the signs , the likelihoods , the fitful beginnings of what , when it drew to an end , [he]178-m. de bassompierre might not approve . Whether or not [he]178-m. de bassompierre would cordially approve , [I]0-i used to speculate . Difficult to say . [He]178-m. de bassompierre was much taken up with scientific interests ; keen , intent , and somewhat oppugnant in what concerned [his]178-m. de bassompierre favourite pursuits , but unsuspicious and trustful in the ordinary affairs of life . From all [I]0-i could gather , [he]178-m. de bassompierre seemed to regard [[his]178-m. de bassompierre " daughterling]6443-his " daughterling "[178-m. de bassompierre] as still but [a child]4415-a child , and probably had not yet admitted the notion that [others]770-others might look on [her]141-paulina in a different light : [he]178-m. de bassompierre would speak of what should be done when " [Polly]141-paulina "[178-m. de bassompierre] was [a woman]4363-a woman , when [she]141-paulina should be grown up ; and " [Polly]141-paulina , "[141-paulina] standing beside [his]178-m. de bassompierre chair , would sometimes smile and take [his]178-m. de bassompierre honoured head between [her]141-paulina little hands , and kiss [his]178-m. de bassompierre iron- grey locks ; and , at other times , [she]141-paulina would pout and toss [her]141-paulina curls : but [she]141-paulina never said , " [Papa]140-papa , [I]141-paulina am grown up . "[141-paulina] [She]141-paulina had different moods for [different people]2898-different people . With [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father [she]141-paulina really was still [a child]4415-a child , or child - like , affectionate , merry , and playful . With [me]0-i [she]141-paulina was serious , and as womanly as thought and feeling could make [her]141-paulina . With [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton [she]141-paulina was docile and reliant , but not expansive . With [Graham]135-graham [she]141-paulina was shy , at present very shy ; at moments [she]141-paulina tried to be cold ; on occasion [she]141-paulina endeavoured to shun [him]135-graham . [His]135-graham step made [her]141-paulina start ; [his]135-graham entrance hushed [her]141-paulina ; when [he]135-graham spoke , [her]141-paulina answers failed of fluency ; when [he]135-graham took leave , [she]141-paulina remained self - vexed and disconcerted . Even [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father noticed this demeanour in [her]141-paulina . " [My]643-her father little [Polly]141-paulina , "[643-her father] [he]643-her father said once , " [you]141-paulina live too retired a life ; if [you]141-paulina grow to be [a woman with these shy manners]6444-a woman with these shy manners , [you]141-paulina will hardly be fitted for society . [You]141-paulina really make quite [a stranger of [Dr. Bretton]135-graham]6445-a stranger of dr. bretton : how is this ? Do n't [you]141-paulina remember that , as [a little girl]545-a little girl , [you]141-paulina used to be rather partial to [him]135-graham ? "[643-her father] " Rather , [papa]4218-papa , "[141-paulina] echoed [she]141-paulina , with [her]141-paulina slightly dry , yet gentle and simple tone . " And [you]4218-papa do n't like [him]135-graham now ? What has [he]135-graham done ? "[141-paulina] " Nothing . [Y]6448-y - e - s , [I]643-her father like [him]135-graham a little ; but [we]6449-we are grown strange to each other . "[643-her father] " Then rub it off , [Polly]141-paulina ; rub the rust and the strangeness off . Talk away when [he]135-graham is here , and have no fear of [him]135-graham ? "[643-her father] " [He]135-graham does not talk much . Is [he]135-graham afraid of [me]141-paulina , do [you]4218-papa think , [papa]4218-papa ? "[141-paulina] " Oh , to be sure , [what man]6451-what man would not be afraid of [such a little silent lady]6452-such a little silent lady ? "[643-her father] " Then tell [him]135-graham some day not to mind [my]643-her father being silent . Say that it is [my]643-her father way , and that [I]643-her father have no unfriendly intention . "[643-her father] " [Your]643-her father way , [you]643-her father little chatter - box ? So far from being [your]643-her father way , it is only [your]643-her father whim ! "[141-paulina] " Well , [I]643-her father 'll improve , [papa]4218-papa . "[643-her father] And very pretty was the grace with which , the next day , [she]2902-her tried to keep [her]2902-her word . [I]0-i saw [her]2902-her make the effort to converse affably with [Dr. John]135-graham on general topics . The attention called into [[her]2902-her guest]6302-her guest 's face a pleasurable glow ; [he]135-graham met [her]2902-her with caution , and replied to [her]2902-her in [his]135-graham softest tones , as if there was a kind of gossamer happiness hanging in the air which [he]135-graham feared to disturb by drawing too deep a breath . Certainly , in [her]2902-her timid yet earnest advance to friendship , it could not be denied that there was a most exquisite and fairy charm . When [the Doctor]4288-the doctor was gone , [she]2902-her approached [[her]2902-her father]643-her father 's chair . " Did [I]2902-her keep [my]2902-her word , [papa]4218-papa ? Did [I]2902-her behave better ? "[2902-her] " [[My]178-m. de bassompierre Polly]6396-my polly behaved like [a queen]1728-a queen . [I]178-m. de bassompierre shall become quite proud of [her]6396-my polly if this improvement continues . By - and - by [we]6457-we shall see [her]6396-my polly receiving [[my]178-m. de bassompierre guests]6458-my guests with quite a calm , grand manner . [Miss Lucy]142-lucy and [I]178-m. de bassompierre will have to look about [us]6457-we , and polish up all [our]6457-we best airs and graces lest [we]6457-we should be thrown into the shade . Still , [Polly]141-paulina , there is a little flutter , a little tendency to stammer now and then , and even , to lisp as [you]141-paulina lisped when [you]141-paulina were six years old . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " No , [papa]4218-papa , "[2906-she] interrupted [she]2906-she indignantly , " that ca n't be true . "[2906-she] " [I]178-m. de bassompierre appeal to [Miss Lucy]142-lucy . Did [she]142-lucy not , in answering [Dr. Bretton]135-graham 's question as to whether [she]142-lucy had ever seen [the palace of [the Prince of Bois l'Etang]6461-the prince of bois l'etang]6460-the palace of the prince of bois l'etang , say , ' yeth , ' [she]142-lucy had been there ' theveral ' times ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [Papa]140-papa , [you]140-papa are satirical , [you]140-papa are mechant ! [I]178-m. de bassompierre can pronounce all the letters of the alphabet as clearly as [you]140-papa can . But tell [me]178-m. de bassompierre this [you]140-papa are very particular in making [me]178-m. de bassompierre be civil to [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , do [you]140-papa like [him]135-graham [yourself]140-papa ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " To be sure : for old acquaintance sake [I]2906-she like [him]135-graham : then [he]135-graham is [a very good son]6462-a very good son to [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother ; besides being [a kind - hearted fellow]6464-a kind - hearted fellow and clever in [his]135-graham profession : yes , [the callant]6465-the callant is well enough . "[2906-she] " [Callant]364-callant ! Ah , [Scotchman]365-scotchman ! [Papa]140-papa , is it the [Edinburgh]93-edinburgh or the Aberdeen accent [you]140-papa have ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Both , [[my]178-m. de bassompierre pet]4290-my pet , both : and doubtless [the Glaswegian]366-the glaswegian into the bargain . It is that which enables [me]178-m. de bassompierre to speak French so well : a gude Scots tongue always succeeds well at the French . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " The French ! Scotch again : incorrigible [papa]4218-papa . [You]4218-papa , too , need schooling . "[2906-she] " Well , [Polly]141-paulina , [you]141-paulina must persuade [Miss Snowe]142-lucy to undertake both [you]141-paulina and [me]178-m. de bassompierre ; to make [you]141-paulina steady and womanly , and [me]178-m. de bassompierre refined and classical . "[178-m. de bassompierre] The light in which [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre evidently regarded " [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , "[2906-she] used to occasion [me]0-i much inward edification . What contradictory attributes of character [we]2907-we sometimes find ascribed to [us]2907-we , according to the eye with which [we]2907-we are viewed ! [Madame Beck]190-madame esteemed [me]0-i learned and blue ; [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , caustic , ironic , and cynical ; [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , [a model teacher]2908-a model teacher , the essence of the sedate and discreet : somewhat conventional , perhaps , too strict , limited , and scrupulous , but still the pink and pattern of governess - correctness ; whilst [another person]2909-another person , [Professor Paul Emanuel]303-professor emanuel , to wit , never lost an opportunity of intimating [his]303-professor emanuel opinion that [mine]0-i was rather a fiery and rash nature - adventurous , indocile , and audacious . [I]0-i smiled at [them]2910-them all . If [any one]1135-any one knew [me]0-i it was [little Paulina Mary]141-paulina . As [I]0-i would not be [[Paulina]141-paulina 's nominal and paid companion]2912-paulina 's nominal and paid companion , genial and harmonious as [I]0-i began to find [her]141-paulina intercourse , [she]141-paulina persuaded [me]0-i to join [her]141-paulina in some study , as a regular and settled means of sustaining communication : [she]141-paulina proposed the German language , which , like [myself]0-i , [she]141-paulina found difficult of mastery . [We]2913-we agreed to take [our]2913-we lessons in [the Rue Crecy of]2914-the rue crecy of [the same mistress]2915-the same mistress ; this arrangement threw [us]2913-we together for some hours of every week . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre seemed quite pleased : it perfectly met [his]178-m. de bassompierre approbation , that [Madame Minerva Gravity]367-madame minerva gravity should associate a portion of [her]367-madame minerva gravity leisure with that of [[his]178-m. de bassompierre fair and dear child]2916-his fair and dear child . [That other self - elected judge of [mine]0-i]2917-that other self - elected judge of mine , [the professor in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette]2918-the professor in the rue fossette , discovering by some surreptitious spying means , that [I]0-i was no longer so stationary as hitherto , but went out regularly at certain hours of certain days , took it upon [himself]2918-the professor in the rue fossette to place [me]0-i under surveillance . [People]531-people said [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul had been brought up amongst [Jesuits]368-jesuits . [I]0-i should more readily have accredited this report had [his]196-m. paul manoeuvres been better masked . As it was , [I]0-i doubted it . Never was [a more undisguised schemer]2921-a more undisguised schemer , [a franker , looser intriguer]2922-a franker , looser intriguer . [He]2918-the professor in the rue fossette would analyze [his]2918-the professor in the rue fossette own machinations : elaborately contrive plots , and forthwith indulge in explanatory boasts of [their]531-people skill . [I]0-i know not whether [I]0-i was more amused or provoked , by [his]2918-the professor in the rue fossette stepping up to [me]0-i one morning and whispering solemnly that [he]2918-the professor in the rue fossette " had [his]2918-the professor in the rue fossette eye on [me]0-i : [he]2918-the professor in the rue fossette at least would discharge the duty of [a friend]1797-a friend , and not leave [me]0-i entirely to [my]0-i own devices . [My]0-i , proceedings seemed at present very unsettled : [he]2918-the professor in the rue fossette did not know what to make of them : [he]2918-the professor in the rue fossette thought [[his]2918-the professor in the rue fossette cousin]6469-his cousin [Beck]190-madame very much to blame in suffering this sort of fluttering inconsistency in [a teacher attached to [[her]6469-his cousin house]6212-her house]6470-a teacher attached to her house . What had [a person devoted to a serious calling , that of education]6472-a person devoted to a serious calling , that of education , to do with Counts and [Countesses]369-countesses , [hotels and chateaux]6473-hotels and chateaux ? To [him]2918-the professor in the rue fossette , [I]0-i seemed altogether ' en l'air . ' On [his]2918-the professor in the rue fossette faith , [he]2918-the professor in the rue fossette believed [I]0-i went out six days in the seven . "[0-i] [I]0-i said , " [Monsieur]6474-monsieur exaggerated . [I]0-i certainly had enjoyed the advantage of a little change lately , but not before it had become necessary ; and the privilege was by no means exercised in excess . "[0-i] " Necessary ! How was it necessary ? [I]0-i was well enough , [he]2923-he supposed ? Change necessary ! [He]2923-he would recommend [me]0-i to look at the Catholic ' religieuses , ' and study [their]6475-their lives . [They]6475-their asked no change . "[0-i] [I]0-i am no judge of what expression crossed [my]0-i face when [he]2923-he thus spoke , but it was one which provoked [him]2923-he : [he]2923-he accused [me]0-i of being reckless , worldly , and epicurean ; ambitious of greatness , and feverishly athirst for the pomps and vanities of life . It seems [I]0-i had no " devouement , "[2923-he] no " recueillement "[2923-he] in [my]0-i character ; no spirit of grace , faith , sacrifice , or self - abasement . Feeling the inutility of answering these charges , [I]0-i mutely continued the correction of a pile of English exercises . " [He]2923-he could see in [me]0-i nothing Christian : like [many other Protestants]6476-many other protestants , [I]0-i revelled in the pride and self - will of paganism . "[0-i] [I]0-i slightly turned from [him]2923-he , nestling still closer under the wing of silence . A vague sound grumbled between [his]2923-he teeth ; it could not surely be a " juron : "[2923-he] [he]2923-he was too religious for that ; but [I]0-i am certain [I]0-i heard the word sacre . Grievous to relate , the same word was repeated , with the unequivocal addition of mille something , when [I]0-i passed [him]2923-he about two hours afterwards in [the corridor]1349-the corridor , prepared to go and take [my]0-i German lesson in [the Rue Crecy]6199-the rue crecy . Never was [a better little man]2926-a better little man , in some points , than [M. Paul]196-m. paul : never , in others , [a more waspish little despot]2927-a more waspish little despot . [[Our]2928-we German mistress]2929-our german mistress , [Fraeulein Anna Braun]370-fraeulein anna braun , was [a worthy , hearty woman , of about forty - five]2930-a worthy , hearty woman , of about forty - five ; [she]2929-our german mistress ought , perhaps , to have lived in the days of [Queen Elizabeth]371-queen elizabeth , as [she]2929-our german mistress habitually consumed , for [her]2929-our german mistress first and second breakfasts , beer and beef : also , [her]2929-our german mistress direct and downright Deutsch nature seemed to suffer a sensation of cruel restraint from what [she]2929-our german mistress called [[our]2928-we English reserve]2931-our english reserve ; though [we]2928-we thought [we]2928-we were very cordial with [her]2929-our german mistress : but [we]2928-we did not slap [her]2929-our german mistress on the shoulder , and if [we]2928-we consented to kiss [her]2929-our german mistress cheek , it was done quietly , and without any explosive smack . These omissions oppressed and depressed [her]2929-our german mistress considerably ; still , on the whole , [we]2928-we got on very well . Accustomed to instruct [foreign girls , who hardly ever will think and study for [themselves]2932-foreign girls , who hardly ever will think and study for themselves]2932-foreign girls , who hardly ever will think and study for themselves - who have [no idea of grappling with a difficulty , and overcoming it by dint of reflection or application]2933-no idea of grappling with a difficulty , and overcoming it by dint of reflection or application - [our]2928-we progress , which in truth was very leisurely , seemed to astound [her]2929-our german mistress . In [her]2929-our german mistress eyes , [we]2928-we were [a pair of glacial prodigies]2934-a pair of glacial prodigies , cold , proud , and preternatural . [The young Countess]4879-the young countess was a little proud , a little fastidious : and perhaps , with [her]2929-our german mistress native delicacy and beauty , [she]2929-our german mistress had a right to these feelings ; but [I]0-i think it was a total mistake to ascribe them to [me]0-i . [I]0-i never evaded the morning salute , which [Paulina]141-paulina would slip when [she]141-paulina could ; nor was a certain little manner of still disdain a weapon known in [my]0-i armoury of defence ; whereas , [Paulina]141-paulina always kept it clear , fine , and bright , and any rough German sally called forth at once its steelly glisten . Honest [Anna Braun]370-fraeulein anna braun , in some measure , felt this difference ; and while [she]370-fraeulein anna braun half - feared , half - worshipped [Paulina]141-paulina , as [a sort of dainty nymph]2936-a sort of dainty nymph - an Undine - [she]370-fraeulein anna braun took refuge with [me]0-i , as [a being all mortal , and of easier mood]2937-a being all mortal , and of easier mood . A book [we]2928-we liked well to read and translate was [Schiller]372-schiller 's Ballads ; [Paulina]141-paulina soon learned to read them beautifully ; [the Fraeulein]370-fraeulein anna braun would listen to [her]141-paulina with a broad smile of pleasure , and say [her]141-paulina voice sounded like music . [She]141-paulina translated them , too , with a facile flow of language , and in a strain of kindred and poetic fervour : [her]141-paulina cheek would flush , [her]141-paulina lips tremblingly smile , [her]141-paulina beauteous eyes kindle or melt as [she]141-paulina went on . [She]141-paulina learnt the best by heart , and would often recite them when [we]2928-we were alone together . One [she]141-paulina liked well was " Des Maedchens Klage : "[141-paulina] that is , [she]141-paulina liked well to repeat the words , [she]141-paulina found plaintive melody in the sound ; the sense [she]141-paulina would criticise . [She]141-paulina murmured , as [we]2928-we sat over the fire one evening : - Du Heilige , rufe dein Kind zurueck , Ich habe genossen das irdische Glueck , Ich habe gelebt und geliebet ! " Lived and loved ! "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina , " is that the summit of earthly happiness , the end of life - to love ? [I]141-paulina do n't think it is . It may be the extreme of mortal misery , it may be sheer waste of time , and fruitless torture of feeling . If [Schiller]372-schiller had said to be loved , [he]372-schiller might have come nearer the truth . Is not that another thing , [Lucy]142-lucy , to be loved ? "[141-paulina] " [I]141-paulina suppose it may be : but why consider the subject ? What is love to [you]142-lucy ? What do [you]142-lucy know about it ? "[141-paulina] [She]141-paulina crimsoned , half in irritation , half in shame . " Now , [Lucy]142-lucy , "[141-paulina] [she]141-paulina said , " [I]141-paulina wo n't take that from [you]142-lucy . It may be well for [papa]4218-papa to look on [me]141-paulina as [a baby]927-a baby : [I]141-paulina rather prefer that [he]4218-papa should thus view [me]141-paulina ; but [you]142-lucy know and shall learn to acknowledge that [I]141-paulina am verging on [my]141-paulina nineteenth year . "[141-paulina] " No matter if it were [your]142-lucy twenty - ninth ; [we]6479-we will anticipate no feelings by discussion and conversation ; [we]6479-we will not talk about love . "[141-paulina] " Indeed , indeed ! "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina - all in hurry and heat - " [you]142-lucy may think to check and hold [me]141-paulina in , as much as [you]142-lucy please ; but [I]141-paulina have talked about it , and heard about it too ; and a great deal and lately , and disagreeably and detrimentally : and in a way [you]142-lucy would n't approve . "[141-paulina] And [the vexed , triumphant , pretty , naughty being laughed]2938-the vexed , triumphant , pretty , naughty being laughed . [I]0-i could not discern what [she]141-paulina meant , and [I]0-i would not ask [her]141-paulina : [I]0-i was nonplussed . Seeing , however , the utmost innocence in [her]141-paulina countenance - combined with some transient perverseness and petulance - [I]0-i said at last , - " Who talks to [you]141-paulina disagreeably and detrimentally on such matters ? Who that has near access to [you]141-paulina would dare to do it ? "[0-i] " [Lucy]142-lucy , "[141-paulina] replied [she]141-paulina more softly , " it is [a person who makes [me]141-paulina miserable sometimes]6480-a person who makes me miserable sometimes ; and [I]141-paulina wish [she]6480-a person who makes me miserable sometimes would keep away - [I]141-paulina do n't want [her]6480-a person who makes me miserable sometimes . "[141-paulina] " But who , [Paulina]141-paulina , can it be ? [You]141-paulina puzzle [me]0-i much . "[0-i] " It is - it is [[my]141-paulina cousin]6238-my cousin [Ginevra]179-ginevra . Every time [she]179-ginevra has leave to visit [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley [she]179-ginevra calls [here]4212-here , and whenever [she]179-ginevra finds [me]141-paulina alone [she]179-ginevra begins to talk about [[her]179-ginevra admirers]6483-her admirers . Love , indeed ! [You]0-i should hear all [she]179-ginevra has to say about love . "[141-paulina] " Oh , [I]0-i have heard it , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , quite coolly ; " and on the whole , perhaps it is as well [you]0-i should have heard it too : it is not to be regretted , it is all right . Yet , surely , [Ginevra]179-ginevra 's mind can not influence [yours]0-i . [You]0-i can look over both [her]179-ginevra head and [her]179-ginevra heart . "[0-i] " [She]179-ginevra does influence [me]141-paulina very much . [She]179-ginevra has the art of disturbing [my]141-paulina happiness and unsettling [my]141-paulina opinions . [She]179-ginevra hurts [me]141-paulina through the feelings and [people]531-people dearest to [me]141-paulina . "[141-paulina] " What does [she]179-ginevra say , [Paulina]141-paulina ? Give [me]141-paulina some idea . There may be counteraction of the damage done . "[141-paulina] " [The people [I]0-i have longest and most esteemed]6485-the people i have longest and most esteemed are degraded by [her]179-ginevra . [She]179-ginevra does not spare [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton - [she]179-ginevra does not spare [.... Graham]135-graham . "[0-i] " No , [I]141-paulina daresay : and how does [she]179-ginevra mix up these with [her]179-ginevra sentiment and [her]179-ginevra .... love ? [She]179-ginevra does mix them , [I]141-paulina suppose ? "[141-paulina] " [Lucy]142-lucy , [she]179-ginevra is insolent ; and , [I]141-paulina believe , false . [You]142-lucy know [Dr. Bretton]135-graham . [We]6486-we both know [him]135-graham . [He]135-graham may be careless and proud ; but when was [he]135-graham ever mean or slavish ? Day after day [she]179-ginevra shows [him]135-graham to [me]141-paulina kneeling at [her]179-ginevra feet , pursuing [her]179-ginevra like [her]179-ginevra shadow . [She]179-ginevra - repulsing [him]135-graham with insult , and [he]135-graham imploring [her]179-ginevra with infatuation . [Lucy]142-lucy , is it true ? Is any of it true ? "[141-paulina] " It may be true that [he]135-graham once thought [her]179-ginevra handsome : does [she]179-ginevra give [him]135-graham out as still [[her]179-ginevra suitor]4931-her suitor ? "[0-i] " [She]179-ginevra says [she]179-ginevra might marry [him]135-graham any day : [he]135-graham only waits [her]179-ginevra consent . "[141-paulina] " It is these tales which have caused that reserve in [your]142-lucy manner towards [Graham]135-graham which [[your]142-lucy father]4386-your father noticed . "[141-paulina] " [They]6489-they have certainly made [me]0-i all doubtful about [his]135-graham character . As [Ginevra]179-ginevra speaks , [they]6489-they do not carry with [them]6489-they the sound of unmixed truth : [I]0-i believe [she]179-ginevra exaggerates - perhaps invents - but [I]0-i want to know how far . "[0-i] " Suppose [we]6490-we bring [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra to some proof . Give [her]179-ginevra an opportunity of displaying the power [she]179-ginevra boasts . "[141-paulina] " [I]141-paulina could do that to - morrow . [Papa]140-papa has asked [some gentlemen]6491-some gentlemen to dinner , [all savants]6492-all savants . [Graham]135-graham , who , [papa]4218-papa is beginning to discover , is [a savant]6494-a savant , too - skilled , [they]6489-they say , in more than one branch of science - is among the number . Now [I]141-paulina should be miserable to sit at table unsupported , amidst such a party . [I]141-paulina could not talk to Messieurs A - - and Z - - , [the Parisian Academicians]6495-the parisian academicians : all [my]141-paulina new credit for manner would be put in peril . [You]141-paulina and [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton must come for [my]141-paulina sake ; [Ginevra]179-ginevra , at a word , will join [you]141-paulina . "[141-paulina] " Yes ; then [I]141-paulina will carry a message of invitation , and [she]179-ginevra shall have the chance of justifying [her]179-ginevra character for veracity . "[141-paulina] CHAPTER XXVII . [THE HOTEL CRECY]86-the hotel crecy . The morrow turned out a more lively and busy day than [we]2939-we - or than [I]0-i , at least - had anticipated . It seems it was the birthday of [one of [the young princes of [Labassecour]48-labassecour]2941-the young princes of labassecour]2940-one of the young princes of labassecour - the eldest , [I]0-i think , [the Duc de Dindonneau]373-the duc de dindonneau , and a general holiday was given in [his]2940-one of the young princes of labassecour honour at [the schools]2942-the schools , and especially at [the principal " [Athenee]95-the athenee , "[373-the duc de dindonneau] or [college]2944-college]2943-the principal " athenee , " or college . [The youth of [that institution]2946-that institution]2945-the youth of that institution had also concocted , and were to present a loyal address ; for which purpose [they]2945-the youth of that institution were to be assembled in [the public building where the yearly examinations were conducted]2947-the public building where the yearly examinations were conducted , and the prizes distributed . After the ceremony of presentation , an oration , or " discours , "[2948-one of the professors] was to follow from [one of [the professors]2949-the professors]2948-one of the professors . [Several of [[M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre 's friends]2951-m. de bassompierre 's friends]2950-several of m. de bassompierre 's friends - [the savants]2952-the savants - being more or less connected with [the Athenee]95-the athenee , [they]2950-several of m. de bassompierre 's friends were expected to attend on this occasion ; together with [the worshipful municipality of [Villette]3-villette]2953-the worshipful municipality of villette , [M. le Chevalier Staas]375-m. le chevalier staas , [the burgomaster]2954-the burgomaster , and [the parents and kinsfolk of [the Athenians]2956-the athenians]2955-the parents and kinsfolk of the athenians in general . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre was engaged by [[his]178-m. de bassompierre friends]706-his friends to accompany [them]706-his friends ; [[his]178-m. de bassompierre fair daughter]2958-his fair daughter would , of course , be of the party , and [she]2958-his fair daughter wrote a little note to [Ginevra]179-ginevra and [myself]0-i , bidding [us]2959-us come early that [we]2959-us might join [her]2958-his fair daughter . As [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra and [I]0-i were dressing in [the dormitory of [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette]2960-the dormitory of the rue fossette , [she]179-ginevra [Miss F.]376-miss f. suddenly burst into a laugh . " What now ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked ; for [she]2958-his fair daughter had suspended the operation of arranging [her]2958-his fair daughter attire , and was gazing at [me]0-i . " It seems so odd , "[2958-his fair daughter] [she]2958-his fair daughter replied , with [her]2958-his fair daughter usual half - honest half- insolent unreserve , " that [you]0-i and [I]2958-his fair daughter should now be so much on a level , visiting in the same sphere ; having the same connections . "[2958-his fair daughter] " Why , yes , "[0-i] said [I]0-i ; " [I]0-i had not much respect for the connections [you]2958-his fair daughter chiefly frequented awhile ago : [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley and [Co.]377-co. would never have suited [me]0-i at all . "[0-i] " Who are [you]0-i , [Miss Snowe]142-lucy ? "[2958-his fair daughter] [she]2958-his fair daughter inquired , in a tone of such undisguised and unsophisticated curiosity , as made [me]0-i laugh in [my]0-i turn . " [You]0-i used to call [yourself]0-i [a nursery governess]6496-a nursery governess ; when [you]0-i first came [here]4212-here [you]0-i really had the care of [[the children]1111-the children in [this house]5145-this house]6499-the children in this house : [I]2958-his fair daughter have seen [you]0-i carry [little Georgette]295-little georgette beck in [your]0-i arms , like a bonne - [few governesses]6501-few governesses would have condescended so far - and now [Madame Beck]190-madame treats [you]0-i with more courtesy than [she]190-madame treats [the Parisienne]6502-the parisienne , [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle ; and [that proud chit]6503-that proud chit , [[my]2958-his fair daughter cousin]6238-my cousin , makes [you]0-i [[her]190-madame bosom friend]6505-her bosom friend ! "[2958-his fair daughter] " Wonderful ! "[0-i] [I]0-i agreed , much amused at [her]2961-she mystification . " Who am [I]0-i indeed ? Perhaps [a personage in disguise]6506-a personage in disguise . Pity [I]0-i do n't look [the character]6507-the character . "[0-i] " [I]2961-she wonder [you]0-i are not more flattered by all this , "[2961-she] [she]2961-she went on ; " [you]0-i take it with strange composure . If [you]0-i really are the nobody [I]2961-she once thought [you]0-i , [you]0-i must be [a cool hand]6508-a cool hand . "[2961-she] " The nobody [you]2961-she once thought [me]0-i ! "[0-i] [I]0-i repeated , and [my]0-i face grew a little hot ; but [I]0-i would not be angry : of what importance was [a school- girl]2962-a school- girl 's crude use of the terms [nobody]4256-nobody and [somebody]4307-somebody ? [I]0-i confined [myself]0-i , therefore , to the remark that [I]0-i had merely met with civility ; and asked " what [she]2961-she saw in civility to throw [the recipient]6509-the recipient into a fever of confusion ? "[2961-she] " One ca n't help wondering at some things , "[2961-she] [she]2961-she persisted . " Wondering at marvels of [your]0-i own manufacture . Are [you]0-i ready at last ? "[2961-she] " Yes ; let [me]2961-she take [your]0-i arm . "[2961-she] " [I]2961-she would rather not : [we]6510-we will walk side by side . "[2961-she] When [she]2961-she took [my]0-i arm , [she]2961-she always leaned upon [me]0-i [her]2961-she whole weight ; and , as [I]0-i was not [a gentleman]629-a gentleman , or [[her]2961-she lover]5767-her lover , [I]0-i did not like it . " There , again ! "[2961-she] [she]2961-she cried . " [I]2961-she thought , by offering to take [your]0-i arm , to intimate approbation of [your]0-i dress and general appearance : [I]2961-she meant it as a compliment . "[2961-she] " [You]0-i did ? [You]0-i meant , in short , to express that [you]0-i are not ashamed to be seen in [the street]623-the street with [me]2961-she ? That if [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley should be fondling [her]223-mrs. cholmondeley lapdog at some window , or [Colonel de Hamal]230-alfred picking [his]230-alfred teeth in [a balcony]6512-a balcony , and should catch a glimpse of [us]6513-us , [you]0-i would not quite blush for [[your]0-i companion]6514-your companion ? "[2961-she] " Yes , "[2961-she] said [she]2961-she , with that directness which was [her]2961-she best point - which gave an honest plainness to [her]2961-she very fibs when [she]2961-she told [them]2967-them - which was , in short , the salt , the sole preservative ingredient of a character otherwise not formed to keep . [I]0-i delegated the trouble of commenting on this " yes "[0-i] to [my]0-i countenance ; or rather , [my]0-i under - lip voluntarily anticipated [my]0-i tongue of course , reverence and solemnity were not the feelings expressed in the look [I]0-i gave [her]2961-she . " [Scornful , sneering creature]6515-scornful , sneering creature ! "[2961-she] [she]2961-she went on , as [we]2968-we crossed [a great square]2969-a great square , and entered [the quiet , pleasant park]2970-the quiet , pleasant park , [our]2968-we nearest way to [the Rue Crecy]88-the rue crecy . " [Nobody]4256-nobody in [this world]4390-this world was ever such a Turk to [me]2961-she as [you]0-i are ! "[2961-she] " [You]0-i bring it on [yourself]0-i : let [me]2961-she alone : have the sense to be quiet : [I]2961-she will let [you]0-i alone . "[2961-she] " As if [one]607-one could let [you]0-i alone , when [you]0-i are so peculiar and so mysterious ! "[2961-she] " The mystery and peculiarity being entirely the conception of [your]0-i own brain - maggots - neither more nor less , be so good as to keep [them]6313-the intruder out of [my]2961-she sight . "[2961-she] " But are [you]0-i [anybody]4239-anybody ? "[2971-she] persevered [she]2971-she , pushing [her]2971-she hand , in spite of [me]0-i , under [my]0-i arm ; and that arm pressed itself with inhospitable closeness against [my]0-i side , by way of keeping out [the intruder]6313-the intruder . " Yes , "[0-i] [I]0-i said , " [I]0-i am [a rising character]6520-a rising character : once [[an old lady]6521-an old lady 's companion]6522-an old lady 's companion , then [a nursery - governess]6523-a nursery - governess , now [a school - teacher]6524-a school - teacher . "[0-i] " Do - do tell [me]2971-she who [you]0-i are ? [I]2971-she 'll not repeat it , "[2971-she] [she]2971-she urged , adhering with ludicrous tenacity to the wise notion of an incognito [she]2971-she had got hold of ; and [she]2971-she squeezed the arm of which [she]2971-she had now obtained full possession , and coaxed and conjured till [I]0-i was obliged to pause in [the park]987-the park to laugh . Throughout [our]2974-our walk [she]2971-she rang the most fanciful changes on this theme ; proving , by [her]2971-she obstinate credulity , or incredulity , [her]2971-she incapacity to conceive how [any person not bolstered up by birth or wealth , not supported by some consciousness of name or connection]2975-any person not bolstered up by birth or wealth , not supported by some consciousness of name or connection , could maintain an attitude of reasonable integrity . As for [me]0-i , it quite sufficed to [my]0-i mental tranquillity that [I]0-i was known where it imported that known [I]0-i should be ; the rest sat on [me]0-i easily : pedigree , social position , and recondite intellectual acquisition , occupied about the same space and place in [my]0-i interests and thoughts ; [they]2976-they were [[my]0-i third - class lodgers]2977-my third - class lodgers - to whom could be assigned only [the small sitting - room]2978-the small sitting - room and [the little back bedroom]2979-the little back bedroom : even if [the dining and drawing - rooms]2980-the dining and drawing - rooms stood empty , [I]0-i never confessed it to [them]2976-they , as thinking [minor accommodations better suited to [their]2976-they circumstances]2981-minor accommodations better suited to their circumstances . [The world]811-the world , [I]0-i soon learned , held a different estimate : and [I]0-i make no doubt , [the world]811-the world is very right in [its]811-the world view , yet believe also that [I]0-i am not quite wrong in [mine]0-i . There are [people whom a lowered position degrades morally , to whom loss of connection costs loss of self - respect]2984-people whom a lowered position degrades morally , to whom loss of connection costs loss of self - respect : are not these justified in placing the highest value on [that station]2985-that station and association which is [their]2984-people whom a lowered position degrades morally , to whom loss of connection costs loss of self - respect safeguard from debasement ? If [a man]823-a man feels that [he]823-a man would become contemptible in [his]823-a man own eyes were it generally known that [his]823-a man ancestry were simple and not gentle , poor and not rich , [workers]2987-workers and not [capitalists]2988-capitalists , would it be right severely to blame [him]823-a man for keeping these fatal facts out of sight - for starting , trembling , quailing at the chance which threatens exposure ? The longer [we]2989-we live , the more out experience widens ; the less prone are [we]2989-we to judge [[our]2989-we neighbour]2990-our neighbour 's conduct , to question [the world]811-the world 's wisdom : wherever an accumulation of small defences is found , whether surrounding the prude 's virtue or [the man of the world]2992-the man of the world 's respectability , there , be sure , it is needed . [We]2989-we reached [the Hotel Crecy]2993-the hotel crecy ; [Paulina]141-paulina was ready ; [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton was with [her]130-mrs. bretton ; and , under [her]130-mrs. bretton escort and that of [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , [we]2989-we were soon conducted to the place of assembly , and seated in good seats , at a convenient distance from [the Tribune]2994-the tribune . [The youth of [the Athenee]95-the athenee]2995-the youth of the athenee were marshalled before [us]2989-we , [the municipality]2996-the municipality and [[their]2996-the municipality bourgmestre]2997-their bourgmestre were in [places of honour]2998-places of honour , [the young princes]2999-the young princes , with [[their]2999-the young princes tutors]3000-their tutors , occupied a conspicuous position , and the body of [the building]3001-the building was crowded with [the aristocracy]3002-the aristocracy and [first burghers of [the town]1306-the town]3003-first burghers of the town . Concerning the identity of [the professor by whom the " discours "[3005-the professor by whom the " discours " was to be delivered] was to be delivered]3005-the professor by whom the " discours " was to be delivered , [I]0-i had as yet entertained neither care nor question . Some vague expectation [I]0-i had that [a savant]6494-a savant would stand up and deliver a formal speech , half dogmatism to [the Athenians]2956-the athenians , half flattery to [the princes]3008-the princes . [The Tribune]2994-the tribune was yet empty when [we]2989-we entered , but in ten minutes after [it]2994-the tribune was filled ; suddenly , in a second of time , a head , chest , and arms grew above the crimson desk . This head [I]0-i knew : its colour , shape , port , expression , were familiar both to [me]0-i and [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra ; the blackness and closeness of cranium , the amplitude and paleness of brow , the blueness and fire of glance , were details so domesticated in the memory , and so knit with many a whimsical association , as almost by this [their]3010-their sudden apparition , to tickle fancy to a laugh . Indeed , [I]0-i confess , for [my]0-i part , [I]0-i did laugh till [I]0-i was warm ; but then [I]0-i bent [my]0-i head , and made [my]0-i handkerchief and a lowered veil the sole confidants of [my]0-i mirth . [I]0-i think [I]0-i was glad to see [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; [I]0-i think it was rather pleasant than otherwise , to behold [him]196-m. paul set up there , fierce and frank , dark and candid , testy and fearless , as when regnant on [his]196-m. paul estrade in class . [His]196-m. paul presence was such a surprise : [I]0-i had not once thought of expecting [him]196-m. paul , though [I]0-i knew [he]196-m. paul filled the chair of [Belles Lettres in [the college]3012-the college]3011-belles lettres in the college . With [him]196-m. paul in that Tribune , [I]0-i felt sure that neither formalism nor flattery would be [our]3013-our doom ; but for what was vouchsafed [us]3013-our , for what was poured suddenly , rapidly , continuously , on [our]3013-our heads - [I]0-i own [I]0-i was not prepared . [He]196-m. paul spoke to [the princes]3008-the princes , [the nobles]3015-the nobles , [the magistrates]3016-the magistrates , and [the burghers]3017-the burghers , with just the same ease , with almost the same pointed , choleric earnestness , with which [he]196-m. paul was wo nt to harangue the three divisions of [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette . [The collegians [he]196-m. paul addressed]3018-the collegians he addressed , not as [schoolboys]3019-schoolboys , but as [future citizens]3020-future citizens and [embryo patriots]3021-embryo patriots . The times which have since come on [Europe]17-europe had not been foretold yet , and [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's spirit seemed new to [me]0-i . Who would have thought [the flat and fat soil of [Labassecour]48-labassecour]3022-the flat and fat soil of labassecour could yield political convictions and national feelings , such as were now strongly expressed ? Of the bearing of [his]196-m. paul opinions [I]0-i need here give no special indication ; yet it may be permitted [me]0-i to say that [I]0-i believed [the little man]1008-the little man not more earnest than right in what [he]196-m. paul said : with all [his]196-m. paul fire [he]196-m. paul was severe and sensible ; [he]196-m. paul trampled Utopian theories under [his]196-m. paul heel ; [he]196-m. paul rejected wild dreams with scorn ; - but when [he]196-m. paul looked in the face of tyranny - oh , then there opened a light in [his]196-m. paul eye worth seeing ; and when [he]196-m. paul spoke of injustice , [his]196-m. paul voice gave no uncertain sound , but reminded [me]0-i rather of the band - trumpet , ringing at twilight from [the park]987-the park . [I]0-i do not think [[his]196-m. paul audience]3025-his audience were generally susceptible of sharing [his]196-m. paul flame in its purity ; but [some of [the college youth]3027-the college youth]3026-some of the college youth caught fire as [he]196-m. paul eloquently told [them]3026-some of the college youth what should be [their]3026-some of the college youth path and endeavour in [[their]3026-some of the college youth country]3028-their country 's and in [Europe]17-europe 's future . [They]3026-some of the college youth gave [him]196-m. paul a long , loud , ringing cheer , as [he]196-m. paul concluded : with all [his]196-m. paul fierceness , [he]196-m. paul was [[their]3026-some of the college youth favourite professor]3029-their favourite professor . As [[our]3030-our party]3031-our party left [the Hall]573-the hall , [he]196-m. paul stood at the entrance ; [he]196-m. paul saw and knew [me]0-i , and lifted [his]196-m. paul hat ; [he]196-m. paul offered [his]196-m. paul hand in passing , and uttered the words " Qu'en dites vous ? "[196-m. paul] - question eminently characteristic , and reminding [me]0-i , even in this [his]196-m. paul moment of triumph , of that inquisitive restlessness , that absence of what [I]0-i considered desirable self- control , which were amongst [his]196-m. paul faults . [He]196-m. paul should not have cared just then to ask what [I]0-i thought , or what [anybody]4239-anybody thought , but [he]196-m. paul did care , and [he]196-m. paul was too natural to conceal , too impulsive to repress [his]196-m. paul wish . Well ! if [I]0-i blamed [his]196-m. paul over - eagerness , [I]0-i liked [his]196-m. paul naivete . [I]0-i would have praised [him]196-m. paul : [I]0-i had plenty of praise in [my]0-i heart ; but , alas ! no words on [my]0-i lips . Who has words at the right moment ? [I]0-i stammered some lame expressions ; but was truly glad when [other people]1151-other people , coming up with profuse congratulations , covered [my]0-i deficiency by [their]1151-other people redundancy . [A gentleman]629-a gentleman introduced [him]196-m. paul to [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre ; and [the Count]6347-the count , who had likewise been highly gratified , asked [him]196-m. paul to join [[his]6347-the count friends]706-his friends for the most part M. [Emanuel]196-m. paul 's likewise , and to dine with [them]706-his friends at [the Hotel Crecy]2993-the hotel crecy . [He]196-m. paul declined dinner , for [he]196-m. paul was [a man always somewhat shy at meeting the advances of [the wealthy]3040-the wealthy]3039-a man always somewhat shy at meeting the advances of the wealthy : there was a strength of sturdy independence in the stringing of [his]196-m. paul sinews - not obtrusive , but pleasant enough to discover as one advanced in knowledge of [his]196-m. paul character ; [he]196-m. paul promised , however , to step in with [[his]196-m. paul friend]2606-his friend , [M. A]378-m. a - - , [a French Academician]3042-a french academician , in the course of the evening . At dinner that day , [Ginevra]179-ginevra and [Paulina]141-paulina each looked , in [her]179-ginevra own way , very beautiful ; [the former]4883-the former , perhaps , boasted the advantage in material charms , but the latter shone pre - eminent for attractions more subtle and spiritual : for light and eloquence of eye , for grace of [mien]637-mien , for winning variety of expression . [Ginevra]179-ginevra 's dress of deep crimson relieved well [her]179-ginevra light curls , and harmonized with [her]179-ginevra rose - like bloom . [Paulina]141-paulina 's attire - in fashion close , though faultlessly neat , but in texture clear and white - made the eye grateful for the delicate life of [her]179-ginevra complexion , for the soft animation of [her]179-ginevra countenance , for the tender depth of [her]179-ginevra eyes , for the brown shadow and bounteous flow of [her]179-ginevra hair - darker than that of [[her]179-ginevra Saxon cousin]3045-her saxon cousin , as were also [her]179-ginevra eyebrows , [her]179-ginevra eyelashes , [her]179-ginevra full irids , and large mobile pupils . [Nature]296-nature having traced all these details slightly , and with a careless hand , in [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's case ; and in [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre 's , wrought them to a high and delicate finish . [Paulina]141-paulina was awed by [the savants , but not quite to mutism]3046-the savants , but not quite to mutism : [she]141-paulina conversed modestly , diffidently ; not without effort , but with so true a sweetness , so fine and penetrating a sense , that [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father more than once suspended [his]643-her father own discourse to listen , and fixed on [her]141-paulina an eye of proud delight . [It]3048-it was [a polite Frenchman]3049-a polite frenchman , [M. Z]379-m. z - - , a very learned , but quite [a courtly man]3050-a courtly man , who had drawn [her]141-paulina into discourse . [I]0-i was charmed with [her]141-paulina French ; it was faultless - the structure correct , the idioms true , the accent pure ; [Ginevra]179-ginevra , who had lived half [her]179-ginevra life on [the Continent]18-the continent , could do nothing like it not that words ever failed [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , but real accuracy and purity [she]141-paulina neither possessed , nor in any number of years would acquire . Here , too , [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre was gratified ; for , on the point of language , [he]178-m. de bassompierre was critical . [Another listener and observer there]3051-another listener and observer there was ; [one who , detained by some exigency of [his]3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession profession]3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession , had come in late to dinner . [Both ladies]3053-both ladies were quietly scanned by [Dr. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , at the moment of taking [his]3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession seat at the table ; and that guarded survey was more than once renewed . [His]3052-one who , detained by some exigency of his profession arrival roused [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , who had hitherto appeared listless : [she]141-paulina now became smiling and complacent , talked - though what [she]141-paulina said was rarely to the purpose - or rather , was of a purpose somewhat mortifyingly below the standard of the occasion . [Her]141-paulina light , disconnected prattle might have gratified [Graham]135-graham once ; perhaps it pleased [him]135-graham still : perhaps it was only fancy which suggested the thought that , while [his]135-graham eye was filled and [his]135-graham ear fed , [his]135-graham taste , [his]135-graham keen zest , [his]135-graham lively intelligence , were not equally consulted and regaled . It is certain that , restless and exacting as seemed the demand on [his]135-graham attention , [he]135-graham yielded courteously all that was required : [his]135-graham manner showed neither pique nor coolness : [Ginevra]179-ginevra was [[his]135-graham neighbour]3054-his neighbour , and to [her]179-ginevra , during dinner , [he]135-graham almost exclusively confined [his]135-graham notice . [She]179-ginevra appeared satisfied , and passed to [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room in very good spirits . Yet , no sooner had [we]3056-we reached [that place of refuge]3057-that place of refuge , than [she]179-ginevra again became flat and listless : throwing [herself]179-ginevra on a couch , [she]179-ginevra denounced both the " discours "[179-ginevra] and the dinner as stupid affairs , and inquired of [[her]179-ginevra cousin]3058-her cousin how [she]179-ginevra could hear such a set of prosaic " gros - bonnets "[179-ginevra] as [[her]179-ginevra father]643-her father gathered about [him]3058-her cousin . The moment [the gentlemen]6131-the gentlemen were heard to move , [her]179-ginevra railings ceased : [she]179-ginevra started up , flew to the piano , and dashed at it with spirit . [Dr. Bretton]135-graham entering , one of the first , took up [his]135-graham station beside [her]179-ginevra . [I]0-i thought [he]135-graham would not long maintain that post : there was a position near the hearth to which [I]0-i expected to see [him]135-graham attracted : this position [he]135-graham only scanned with [his]135-graham eye ; while [he]135-graham looked , [others]770-others drew in . The grace and mind of [Paulina]141-paulina charmed [these thoughtful Frenchmen]3062-these thoughtful frenchmen : the fineness of [her]141-paulina beauty , the soft courtesy of [her]141-paulina manner , [her]141-paulina immature , but real and inbred tact , pleased [their]3062-these thoughtful frenchmen national taste ; [they]3062-these thoughtful frenchmen clustered about [her]141-paulina , not indeed to talk science ; which would have rendered [her]141-paulina dumb , but to touch on many subjects in letters , in arts , in actual life , on which it soon appeared that [she]141-paulina had both read and reflected . [I]0-i listened . [I]0-i am sure that though [Graham]135-graham stood aloof , [he]135-graham listened too : [his]135-graham hearing as well as [his]135-graham vision was very fine , quick , discriminating . [I]0-i knew [he]135-graham gathered the conversation ; [I]0-i felt that the mode in which it was sustained suited [him]135-graham exquisitely - pleased [him]135-graham almost to pain . In [Paulina]141-paulina there was more force , both of feeling and character ; than [most people]5910-most people thought - than [Graham]135-graham [himself]135-graham imagined - than [she]141-paulina would ever show to [those who did not wish to see it]3064-those who did not wish to see it . To speak truth , [reader]4604-reader , there is no excellent beauty , no accomplished grace , no reliable refinement , without strength as excellent , as complete , as trustworthy . As well might [you]3066-you look for good fruit and blossom on a rootless and sapless tree , as for charms that will endure in a feeble and relaxed nature . For a little while , the blooming semblance of beauty may flourish round weakness ; but it can not bear a blast : it soon fades , even in serenest sunshine . [Graham]135-graham would have started had any suggestive spirit whispered of the sinew and the stamina sustaining that delicate nature ; but [I]0-i who had known [her]141-paulina as [a child]4415-a child , knew or guessed by what a good and strong root [her]141-paulina graces held to the firm soil of reality . While [Dr. Bretton]135-graham listened , and waited an opening in the magic circle , [his]135-graham glance restlessly sweeping [the room]600-the room at intervals , lighted by chance on [me]0-i , where [I]0-i sat in [a quiet nook not far from [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother]3069-a quiet nook not far from my godmother and [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , who , as usual , were engaged in what [Mr. Home]134-mr. home called " a two - handed crack : "[134-mr. home] what [the Count]6347-the count would have interpreted as a tete - a - tete . [Graham]135-graham smiled recognition , crossed [the room]600-the room , asked [me]0-i how [I]0-i was , told [me]0-i [I]0-i looked pale . [I]0-i also had [my]0-i own smile at [my]0-i own thought : it was now about three months since [Dr. John]135-graham had spoken to [me]0-i - a lapse of which [he]135-graham was not even conscious . [He]135-graham sat down , and became silent . [His]135-graham wish was rather to look than converse . [Ginevra]179-ginevra and [Paulina]141-paulina were now opposite to [him]135-graham : [he]135-graham could gaze [his]135-graham fill : [he]135-graham surveyed both forms - studied both faces . [Several new guests]3073-several new guests , [ladies]622-ladies as well as [gentlemen]4709-gentlemen , had entered [the room]600-the room since dinner , dropping in for the evening conversation ; and amongst [the gentlemen]6131-the gentlemen , [I]0-i may incidentally observe , [I]0-i had already noticed by glimpses , a severe , dark , professorial outline , hovering aloof in [an inner saloon]3078-an inner saloon , seen only in vista . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul knew [many of [the gentlemen present]3080-the gentlemen present]3079-many of the gentlemen present , but [I]0-i think was [a stranger to most of [the ladies]4526-the ladies]3081-a stranger to most of the ladies , excepting [myself]0-i ; in looking towards the hearth , [he]196-m. paul could not but see [me]0-i , and naturally made a movement to approach ; seeing , however , [Dr. Bretton]135-graham also , [he]196-m. paul changed [his]196-m. paul mind and held back . If that had been all , there would have been no cause for quarrel ; but not satisfied with holding back , [he]196-m. paul puckered up [his]196-m. paul eyebrows , protruded [his]196-m. paul lip , and looked so ugly that [I]0-i averted [my]0-i eyes from the displeasing spectacle . M. [Joseph Emanuel]151-joseph had arrived , as well as [[his]151-joseph austere brother]3083-his austere brother , and at this very moment was relieving [Ginevra]179-ginevra at the piano . What a master- touch succeeded [her]179-ginevra school - girl jingle ! In what grand , grateful tones the instrument acknowledged the hand of [the true artist]3084-the true artist ! " [Lucy]142-lucy , "[135-graham] began [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , breaking silence and smiling , as [Ginevra]179-ginevra glided before [him]135-graham , casting a glance as [she]179-ginevra passed by , " [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra is certainly [a fine girl]6525-a fine girl . "[179-ginevra] Of course [I]0-i assented . " Is there , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham pursued , " another in [the room]600-the room as lovely ? "[135-graham] " [I]179-ginevra think there is [not another as handsome]6527-not another as handsome . "[179-ginevra] " [I]135-graham agree with [you]142-lucy , [Lucy]142-lucy : [you]142-lucy and [I]135-graham do often agree in opinion , in taste , [I]135-graham think ; or at least in judgment . "[135-graham] " Do [we]6528-we ? "[0-i] [I]0-i said , somewhat doubtfully . " [I]0-i believe if [you]142-lucy had been [a boy]4374-a boy , [Lucy]142-lucy , instead of [a girl]517-a girl - [[[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother 's god - son instead of [[her]4268-my mother god - daughter]6533-her god - daughter]6532-my mother 's god - son instead of her god - daughter , [we]6528-we should have been [good friends]6534-good friends : [our]6528-we opinions would have melted into each other . "[0-i] [He]3085-he had assumed a bantering air : a light , half - caressing , half - ironic , shone aslant in [his]3085-he eye . Ah , [Graham]135-graham ! [I]0-i have given more than one solitary moment to thoughts and calculations of [your]3086-you estimate of [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy : was it always kind or just ? Had [Lucy]142-lucy been intrinsically the same but possessing the additional advantages of wealth and station , would [your]3086-you manner to [her]142-lucy , [your]3086-you value for [her]142-lucy , have been quite what they actually were ? And yet by these questions [I]0-i would not seriously infer blame . No ; [you]3086-you might sadden and trouble [me]0-i sometimes ; but then [mine]0-i was [a soon - depressed , an easily - deranged temperament]3087-a soon - depressed , an easily - deranged temperament - it fell if a cloud crossed the sun . Perhaps before the eye of [severe equity]380-severe equity [I]0-i should stand more at fault than [you]3086-you . Trying , then , to keep down the unreasonable pain which thrilled [my]0-i heart , on thus being made to feel that while [Graham]135-graham could devote to [others the most grave and earnest , the manliest interest]3088-others the most grave and earnest , the manliest interest , [he]135-graham had no more than light raillery for [Lucy]142-lucy , [the friend of lang syne]3089-the friend of lang syne , [I]0-i inquired calmly , - " On what points are [we]6535-we so closely in accordance ? "[0-i] " [We]6535-we each have [an observant faculty]6536-an observant faculty . [You]3086-you , perhaps , do n't give [me]0-i credit for the possession ; yet [I]0-i have it . "[0-i] " But [you]0-i were speaking of tastes : [we]6535-we may see the same objects , yet estimate them differently ? "[0-i] " Let [us]6535-we bring it to the test . Of course , [you]3086-you can not but render homage to the merits of [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra : now , what do [you]3086-you think of others in [the room]600-the room ? - [[my]0-i mother]4268-my mother , for instance ; or the lions yonder , Messieurs A - - and Z - - ; or , let [us]6535-we say , [that pale little lady]6539-that pale little lady , [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre ? "[0-i] " [You]3086-you know what [I]0-i think of [[your]3086-you mother]4274-your mother . [I]0-i have not thought of [Messieurs A]381-messieurs a - - and Z - - . "[0-i] " And the other ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i think [she]6539-that pale little lady is , as [you]3086-you say , [a pale little lady]6541-a pale little lady - pale , certainly , just now , when [she]6539-that pale little lady is fatigued with over - excitement . "[0-i] " [You]3086-you do n't remember [her]6539-that pale little lady as [a child]4415-a child ? "[0-i] " [I]0-i wonder , sometimes , whether [you]3086-you do . "[0-i] " [I]0-i had forgotten [her]6539-that pale little lady ; but it is noticeable , that circumstances , [persons]1284-persons , even words and looks , that had slipped [your]3086-you memory , may , under certain conditions , certain aspects of [your]3086-you own or another 's mind , revive . "[0-i] " That is possible enough . "[0-i] " Yet , "[3090-he] [he]3090-he continued , " the revival is imperfect - needs confirmation , partakes so much of the dim character of a dream , or of the airy one of a fancy , that the testimony of [a witness]6544-a witness becomes necessary for corroboration . Were [you]3086-you not [a guest at [Bretton]135-graham]6545-a guest at bretton ten years ago , when [Mr. Home]134-mr. home brought [[his]134-mr. home little girl , whom [we]6547-we then called ' little [Polly]141-paulina]6546-his little girl , whom we then called ' little polly , ' to stay with [mamma]4272-mamma ? "[3090-he] " [I]0-i was [there]512-there the night [she]6539-that pale little lady came , and also the morning [she]6539-that pale little lady went away . "[0-i] " Rather [a peculiar child]6550-a peculiar child , was [she]6539-that pale little lady not ? [I]0-i wonder how [I]0-i treated [her]6539-that pale little lady . Was [I]0-i fond of [children]4815-children in those days ? Was there anything gracious or kindly about [me]0-i - [great , reckless , schoolboy]6552-great , reckless , schoolboy as [I]0-i was ? But [you]0-i do n't recollect [me]0-i , of course ? "[0-i] " [You]0-i have seen [your]0-i own picture at [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse . It is like [you]0-i personally . In manner , [you]0-i were almost the same yesterday as to - day . "[0-i] " But , [Lucy]142-lucy , how is that ? Such an oracle really whets [my]0-i curiosity . What am [I]0-i to - day ? What was [I]0-i the yesterday of ten years back ? "[0-i] " Gracious to whatever pleased [you]0-i - unkindly or cruel to nothing . "[0-i] " There [you]0-i are wrong ; [I]0-i think [I]0-i was almost a brute to [you]0-i , for instance . "[0-i] " [A brute]6553-a brute ! No , [Graham]135-graham : [I]0-i should never have patiently endured brutality . "[0-i] " This , however , [I]0-i do remember : quiet [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy tasted nothing of [my]0-i grace . "[0-i] " As little of [your]0-i cruelty . "[0-i] " Why , had [I]0-i been [Nero]382-nero [himself]382-nero , [I]0-i could not have tormented [a being inoffensive as a shadow]6554-a being inoffensive as a shadow . "[0-i] [I]0-i smiled ; but [I]0-i also hushed a groan . Oh ! - [I]0-i just wished [he]3091-i would let [me]0-i alone - cease allusion to [me]0-i . These epithets - these attributes [I]0-i put from [me]0-i . [His]3091-i " quiet [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy , "[3091-i] [his]3091-i " inoffensive shadow , "[0-i] [I]0-i gave [him]3091-i back ; not with scorn , but with extreme weariness : theirs was the coldness and the pressure of lead ; let [him]3091-i whelm [me]0-i with no such weight . Happily , [he]3091-i was soon on another theme . " On what terms were ' [little Polly]141-paulina ' and [I]3091-i ? Unless [my]3091-i recollections deceive [me]3091-i , [we]6555-we were [not foes]6556-not foes - "[3091-i] " [You]0-i speak very vaguely . Do [you]0-i think little [Polly]141-paulina 's memory , not more definite ? "[3091-i] " Oh ! [we]6555-we do n't talk of ' [little Polly]141-paulina ' now . [Pray]6557-pray say , [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre ; and , of course , [such a stately personage]6558-such a stately personage remembers nothing of [Bretton]135-graham . Look at [her]141-paulina large eyes , [Lucy]142-lucy ; can [they]6559-they read a word in the page of memory ? Are [they]6559-they the same which [I]3091-i used to direct to a horn - book ? [She]141-paulina does not know that [I]3091-i partly taught [her]141-paulina to read . "[3091-i] " In the Bible on Sunday nights ? "[3091-i] " [She]141-paulina has a calm , delicate , rather fine profile now : once what a little restless , anxious countenance was [hers]141-paulina ! What a thing is [a child]4415-a child 's preference - what a bubble ! Would [you]0-i believe it ? [that lady]577-that lady was fond of [me]3091-i ! "[3091-i] " [I]0-i think [she]577-that lady was in some measure fond of [you]0-i , "[0-i] said [I]0-i , moderately . " [You]0-i do n't remember then ? [I]0-i had forgotten ; but [I]0-i remember now . [She]577-that lady liked [me]0-i the best of whatever there was at [Bretton]135-graham . "[0-i] " [You]0-i thought so . "[3091-i] " [I]0-i quite well recall it . [I]0-i wish [I]0-i could tell [her]141-paulina all [I]0-i recall ; or rather , [I]0-i wish [some one]1654-some one , [you]0-i for instance , would go behind and whisper it all in [her]141-paulina ear , and [I]0-i could have the delight - here , as [I]0-i sit - of watching [her]141-paulina look under the intelligence . Could [you]0-i manage that , think [you]0-i , [Lucy]142-lucy , and make [me]0-i ever grateful ? "[0-i] " Could [I]3092-i manage to make [you]0-i ever grateful ? "[3092-i] said [I.]3092-i " No , [I]3092-i could not . "[3092-i] And [I]0-i felt [my]0-i fingers work and [my]0-i hands interlock : [I]0-i felt , too , an inward courage , warm and resistant . In this matter [I]0-i was not disposed to gratify [Dr. John]135-graham : not at all . With now welcome force , [I]0-i realized [his]135-graham entire misapprehension of [my]0-i character and nature . [He]135-graham wanted always to give [me]0-i a role not [mine]0-i . Nature and [I]0-i opposed [him]135-graham . [He]135-graham did not at all guess what [I]0-i felt : [he]135-graham did not read [my]0-i eyes , or face , or gestures ; though , [I]0-i doubt not , all spoke . Leaning towards [me]0-i coaxingly , [he]135-graham said , softly , " Do content [me]135-graham , [Lucy]142-lucy . "[135-graham] And [I]0-i would have contented , or , at least , [I]0-i would clearly have enlightened [him]135-graham , and taught [him]135-graham well never again to expect of [me]0-i the part of officious soubrette in a love drama ; when , following [his]135-graham , soft , eager , murmur , meeting almost [his]135-graham pleading , mellow - " Do content [me]3093-the sudden boa- constrictor , [Lucy]142-lucy ! "[3093-the sudden boa- constrictor] a sharp hiss pierced [my]0-i ear on the other side . " Petite chatte , doucerette , coquette ! "[3093-the sudden boa- constrictor] sibillated [the sudden boa- constrictor]3093-the sudden boa- constrictor ; " vous avez l'air bien triste , soumis , [reveur]6563-reveur , mais vous ne l'etes pas : c'est moi qui vous le dis : Sauvage ! la flamme a l'ame , l'eclair aux yeux ! "[3093-the sudden boa- constrictor] " Oui ; j'ai la flamme a l'ame , et je dois l'avoir ! "[0-i] retorted [I]0-i , turning in just wrath : but [Professor Emanuel]303-professor emanuel had hissed [his]303-professor emanuel insult and was gone . The worst of the matter was , that [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , whose ears , as [I]0-i have said , were quick and fine , caught every word of this apostrophe ; [he]135-graham put [his]135-graham handkerchief to [his]135-graham face , and laughed till [he]135-graham shook . " Well done , [Lucy]142-lucy , "[135-graham] cried [he]135-graham ; " capital ! petite chatte , petite coquette ! Oh , [I]135-graham must tell [[my]135-graham mother]4268-my mother ! Is it true , [Lucy]142-lucy , or half - true ? [I]135-graham believe it is : [you]0-i redden to the colour of [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's gown . And really , by [my]135-graham word , now [I]135-graham examine [him]135-graham , that is [the same little man who was so savage with [you]0-i at the concert]6565-the same little man who was so savage with you at the concert : the very same , and in [his]135-graham soul [he]135-graham is frantic at this moment because [he]135-graham sees [me]135-graham laughing . Oh ! [I]135-graham must tease [him]135-graham . "[135-graham] And [Graham]135-graham , yielding to [his]135-graham bent for mischief , laughed , jested , and whispered on till [I]0-i could bear no more , and [my]0-i eyes filled . Suddenly [he]135-graham was sobered : a vacant space appeared near [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre ; the circle surrounding [her]348-miss de bassompierre seemed about to dissolve . This movement was instantly caught by [Graham]135-graham 's eye - ever - vigilant , even while laughing ; [he]135-graham rose , took [his]135-graham courage in both hands , crossed [the room]600-the room , and made the advantage [his]135-graham own . [Dr. John]135-graham , throughout [his]135-graham whole life , was [a man of luck]3095-a man of luck - [a man of success]3096-a man of success . And why ? Because [he]135-graham had the eye to see [his]135-graham opportunity , the heart to prompt to well - timed action , the nerve to consummate a perfect work . And no tyrant - passion dragged [him]135-graham back ; no enthusiasms , no foibles encumbered [his]135-graham way . How well [he]135-graham looked at this very moment ! When [Paulina]141-paulina looked up as [he]135-graham reached [her]141-paulina side , [her]141-paulina glance mingled at once with an encountering glance , animated , yet modest ; [his]135-graham colour , as [he]135-graham spoke to [her]141-paulina , became half a blush , half a glow . [He]135-graham stood in [her]141-paulina presence brave and bashful : subdued and unobtrusive , yet decided in [his]135-graham purpose and devoted in [his]135-graham ardour . [I]0-i gathered all this by one view . [I]0-i did not prolong [my]0-i observation - time failed [me]0-i , had inclination served : the night wore late ; [Ginevra]179-ginevra and [I]0-i ought already to have been in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette . [I]0-i rose , and bade good - night to [[my]0-i godmother]506-my godmother and [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre . [I]0-i know not whether [Professor Emanuel]303-professor emanuel had noticed [my]0-i reluctant acceptance of [Dr. Bretton]135-graham 's badinage , or whether [he]303-professor emanuel perceived that [I]0-i was pained , and that , on the whole , the evening had not been one flow of exultant enjoyment for the volatile , pleasure - loving [Mademoiselle Lucie]383-mademoiselle ; but , as [I]0-i was leaving [the room]600-the room , [he]303-professor emanuel stepped up and inquired whether [I]0-i had any one to attend [me]0-i to [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette . [The professor]2055-the professor now spoke politely , and even deferentially , and [he]2055-the professor looked apologetic and repentant ; but [I]0-i could not recognise [his]2055-the professor civility at a word , nor meet [his]2055-the professor contrition with crude , premature oblivion . Never hitherto had [I]0-i felt seriously disposed to resent [his]2055-the professor brusqueries , or freeze before [his]2055-the professor fierceness ; what [he]2055-the professor had said to - night , however , [I]0-i considered unwarranted : [my]0-i extreme disapprobation of the proceeding must be marked , however slightly . [I]0-i merely said : - " [I]0-i am provided with attendance . "[0-i] Which was true , as [Ginevra]179-ginevra and [I]0-i were to be sent [home]542-home in [the carriage]5783-the carriage ; and [I]0-i passed [him]2055-the professor with the sliding obeisance with which [he]2055-the professor was wo nt to be saluted in classe by pupils crossing [his]2055-the professor estrade . Having sought [my]0-i shawl , [I]0-i returned to [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul stood there as if waiting . [He]196-m. paul observed that the night was fine . " Is it ? "[0-i] [I]0-i said , with a tone and manner whose consummate chariness and frostiness [I]0-i could not but applaud . It was so seldom [I]0-i could properly act out [my]0-i own resolution to be reserved and cool where [I]0-i had been grieved or hurt , that [I]0-i felt almost proud of this one successful effort . That " Is it ? "[1151-other people] sounded just like the manner of [other people]1151-other people . [I]0-i had heard hundreds of such little minced , docked , dry phrases , from the pursed - up coral lips of a score of [self - possessed , self - sufficing misses and mesdemoiselles]3104-self - possessed , self - sufficing misses and mesdemoiselles . That [M. Paul]196-m. paul would not stand any prolonged experience of this sort of dialogue [I]0-i knew ; but [he]196-m. paul certainly merited a sample of [the curt and arid]3105-the curt and arid . [I]0-i believe [he]196-m. paul thought so [himself]196-m. paul , for [he]196-m. paul took the dose quietly . [He]196-m. paul looked at [my]0-i shawl and objected to its lightness . [I]0-i decidedly told [him]196-m. paul it was as heavy as [I]0-i wished . Receding aloof , and standing apart , [I]0-i leaned on the banister of [the stairs]1526-the stairs , folded [my]0-i shawl about [me]0-i , and fixed [my]0-i eyes on a dreary religious painting darkening the wall . [Ginevra]179-ginevra was long in coming : tedious seemed [her]179-ginevra loitering . [M. Paul]196-m. paul was still there ; [my]0-i ear expected from [his]196-m. paul lips an angry tone . [He]196-m. paul came nearer . " Now for another hiss ! "[0-i] thought [I]0-i : had not the action been too uncivil [I]0-i could have , stopped [my]0-i ears with [my]0-i fingers in terror of the thrill . Nothing happens as [we]3107-we expect : listen for a coo or a murmur ; it is then [you]3108-you will hear a cry of prey or pain . Await a piercing shriek , an angry threat , and welcome an amicable greeting , a low kind whisper . M. [Paul]196-m. paul spoke gently : - " [Friends]533-friends , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul , " do not quarrel for a word . Tell [me]196-m. paul , was it [I]196-m. paul or [ce grand fat]6567-ce grand fat d'Anglais "[196-m. paul] so [he]196-m. paul profanely denominated [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , " who made [your]0-i eyes so humid , and [your]0-i cheeks so hot as they are even now ? "[196-m. paul] " [I]0-i am not conscious of [you]196-m. paul , [monsieur]1465-monsieur , or of any other having excited such emotion as [you]196-m. paul indicate , "[0-i] was [my]0-i answer ; and in giving it , [I]0-i again surpassed [my]0-i usual self , and achieved a neat , frosty falsehood . " But what did [I]196-m. paul say ? "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul pursued ; " tell [me]196-m. paul : [I]196-m. paul was angry : [I]196-m. paul have forgotten [my]196-m. paul words ; what were they ? "[196-m. paul] " Such as it is best to forget ! "[0-i] said [I]0-i , still quite calm and chill . " Then it was [my]0-i words which wounded [you]196-m. paul ? Consider them unsaid : permit [my]0-i retractation ; accord [my]0-i pardon . "[0-i] " [I]196-m. paul am not angry , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur . "[196-m. paul] " Then [you]196-m. paul are worse than angry - grieved . Forgive [me]196-m. paul , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy . "[196-m. paul] " [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , [I]0-i do forgive [you]196-m. paul . "[0-i] " Let [me]3109-his hear [you]196-m. paul say , in the voice natural to [you]196-m. paul , and not in that alien tone , ' Mon ami , je vous pardonne . ' "[3109-his] [He]3109-his made [me]0-i smile . Who could help smiling at [his]3109-his wistfulness , [his]3109-his simplicity , [his]3109-his earnestness ? " Bon ! "[3109-his] [he]3109-his cried . " Voila que le jour va poindre ! Dites donc , [mon ami]5309-mon ami . "[3109-his] " [Monsieur Paul]384-monsieur paul , je vous pardonne . "[3109-his] " [I]3109-his will have [no monsieur]6571-no monsieur : speak the other word , or [I]3109-his shall not believe [you]196-m. paul sincere : another effort - [mon ami]5309-mon ami , or else in English , - [[my]3109-his friend]801-my friend ! "[3109-his] Now , " [[my]3109-his friend]801-my friend "[3109-his] had rather another sound and significancy than " mon ami ; "[3109-his] it did not breathe the same sense of domestic and intimate affection ; " mon ami "[0-i] [I]0-i could not say to [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; " [[my]0-i friend]801-my friend , "[0-i] [I]0-i could , and did say without difficulty . This distinction existed not for [him]3109-his , however , and [he]3109-his was quite satisfied with the English phrase . [He]3109-his smiled . [You]3110-you should have seen [him]3109-his smile , [reader]4604-reader ; and [you]3110-you should have marked the difference between [his]3109-his countenance now , and that [he]3109-his wore half an hour ago . [I]0-i can not affirm that [I]0-i had ever witnessed the smile of pleasure , or content , or kindness round [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's lips , or in [his]3109-his eyes before . The ironic , the sarcastic , the disdainful , the passionately exultant , [I]0-i had hundreds of times seen [him]3109-his express by what [he]3109-his called a smile , but any illuminated sign of milder or warmer feelings struck [me]0-i as wholly new in [his]3109-his visage . It changed it as from a mask to a face : the deep lines left [his]3109-his features ; the very complexion seemed clearer and fresher ; that swart , sallow , southern darkness which spoke [his]3109-his Spanish blood , became displaced by a lighter hue . [I]0-i know not that [I]0-i have ever seen in [any other human face]3112-any other human face an equal metamorphosis from a similar cause . [He]3109-his now took [me]0-i to [the carriage]5783-the carriage : at the same moment [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre came out with [[his]3109-his niece]3114-his niece . In a pretty humour was [Mistress Fanshawe]179-ginevra ; [she]179-ginevra had found the evening a grand failure : completely upset as to temper , [she]179-ginevra gave way to the most uncontrolled moroseness as soon as [we]3115-we were seated , and the carriage- door closed . [Her]179-ginevra invectives against [Dr. Bretton]135-graham had something venomous in them . Having found [herself]179-ginevra impotent either to charm or sting [him]135-graham , hatred was [her]179-ginevra only resource ; and this hatred [she]179-ginevra expressed in terms so unmeasured and proportion so monstrous , that , after listening for a while with assumed stoicism , [my]0-i outraged sense of justice at last and suddenly caught fire . An explosion ensued : for [I]0-i could be passionate , too ; especially with [[my]0-i present fair but faulty associate , who never failed to stir the worst dregs of [me]0-i]3116-my present fair but faulty associate , who never failed to stir the worst dregs of me . It was well that the carriage- wheels made a tremendous rattle over [the flinty Choseville pavement]3117-the flinty choseville pavement , for [I]0-i can assure [the reader]759-the reader there was neither dead silence nor calm discussion within [the vehicle]4683-the vehicle . Half in earnest , half in seeming , [I]0-i made it [my]0-i business to storm down [Ginevra]179-ginevra . [She]179-ginevra had set out rampant from [the Rue Crecy]6199-the rue crecy ; it was necessary to tame [her]179-ginevra before [we]3121-we reached [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette : to this end it was indispensable to show up [her]179-ginevra sterling value and high deserts ; and this must be done in language of which the fidelity and homeliness might challenge comparison with the compliments of [a John Knox]385-a john knox to [a Mary Stuart]386-a mary stuart . This was the right discipline for [Ginevra]179-ginevra ; it suited [her]179-ginevra . [I]0-i am quite sure [she]179-ginevra went to bed that night all the better and more settled in mind and mood , and slept all the more sweetly for having undergone a sound moral drubbing . CHAPTER XXVIII . [THE WATCHGUARD]3123-the watchguard . [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul owned an acute sensitiveness to the annoyance of interruption , from whatsoever cause occurring , during [his]196-m. paul lessons : to pass through the classe under such circumstances was considered by [the teachers and pupils of [the school]4856-the school]3124-the teachers and pupils of the school , individually and collectively , to be as much as [a woman]4363-a woman 's or [girl]3127-girl 's life was worth . [Madame Beck]190-madame [herself]190-madame , if forced to the enterprise , would ' skurry " through , retrenching [her]190-madame skirts , and carefully coasting the formidable estrade , like [a ship dreading breakers]6576-a ship dreading breakers . As to [Rosine]203-rosine , [the portress - on whom , every half - hour]6577-the portress - on whom , every half - hour , devolved the fearful duty of fetching [pupils]4924-pupils out of the very heart of one or [other of the divisions]6579-other of the divisions to take [their]4924-pupils music - lessons in [the oratory]1021-the oratory , [the great or little saloon]6581-the great or little saloon , [the salle - a- manger]6582-the salle - a- manger , or [some other piano - station]6583-some other piano - station - [she]203-rosine would , upon [her]203-rosine second or third attempt , frequently become almost tongue - tied from excess of consternation - a sentiment inspired by the unspeakable looks levelled at [her]203-rosine through a pair of dart - dealing spectacles . One morning [I]190-madame was sitting in [the carre]4820-the carre , at work upon a piece of embroidery which one of [the pupils]1102-the pupils had commenced but delayed to finish , and while [my]190-madame fingers wrought at the frame , [my]190-madame ears regaled themselves with listening to the crescendos and cadences of a voice haranguing in [the neighbouring classe]6586-the neighbouring classe , in tones that waxed momentarily more unquiet , more ominously varied . There was a good strong partition - wall between [me]190-madame and the gathering storm , as well as a facile means of flight through the glass - door to [the court]1612-the court , in case it swept this way ; so [I]190-madame am afraid [I]190-madame derived more amusement than alarm from these thickening symptoms . [Poor Rosine]203-rosine was not safe : four times that blessed morning had [she]203-rosine made the passage of peril ; and now , for the fifth time , it became [her]203-rosine dangerous duty to snatch , as it were , a brand from the burning - a pupil from under [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's nose . "[190-madame] Mon Dieu ! Mon Dieu ! " cried [she]203-rosine . "[190-madame] Que vais - je devenir ? [Monsieur]1465-monsieur va [me]0-i tuer , je suis sure ; car il est d'une colere ! " Nerved by the courage of desperation , [she]203-rosine opened the door . "[190-madame] Mademoiselle La Malle au piano ! " was [her]203-rosine cry . Ere [she]203-rosine could make good [her]203-rosine retreat , or quite close the door , this voice uttered itself : - "[190-madame] Des ce moment ! - la classe est defendue . La premiere qui ouvrira cette porte , ou passera par cette division , sera pendue - fut - ce [Madame Beck elle - meme]190-madame ! " Ten minutes had not succeeded the promulgation of this decree when [Rosine]203-rosine 's French pantoufles were again heard shuffling along [the corridor]1349-the corridor . "[383-mademoiselle] [Mademoiselle]383-mademoiselle , " said [she]203-rosine , "[383-mademoiselle] [I]0-i would not for a five - franc piece go into that classe again just now : [Monsieur]3129-monsieur 's lunettes are really terrible ; and here is a commissionaire come with a message from [the Athenee]95-the athenee . [I]0-i have told [Madame Beck]190-madame [I]0-i dare not deliver it , and [she]190-madame says [I]0-i am to charge [you]383-mademoiselle with it . " "[190-madame] [Me]0-i ? No , that is rather too bad ! It is not in [my]0-i line of duty . Come , come , [Rosine]203-rosine ! bear [your]203-rosine own burden . Be brave - charge once more ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i , [Mademoiselle]383-mademoiselle ? - impossible ! Five times [I]0-i have crossed [him]3129-monsieur this day . [Madame]190-madame must really hire [a gendarme]3130-a gendarme for this service . Ouf ! Je n'en puis plus ! " "[190-madame] Bah ! [you]383-mademoiselle are only [a coward]901-a coward . What is the message ? " "[190-madame] Precisely of the kind with which [Monsieur]3132-monsieur least likes to be pestered : an urgent summons to go directly to [the Athenee]95-the athenee , as there is [an official visitor]3133-an official visitor - [inspector]3134-inspector - [I]0-i know not what - arrived , and [Monsieur]3135-monsieur must meet [him]3132-monsieur : [you]383-mademoiselle know how [he]3132-monsieur hates a must . " Yes , [I]3132-monsieur knew well enough . [The restive little man]6589-the restive little man detested spur or curb : against whatever was urgent or obligatory , [he]6589-the restive little man was sure to revolt . However , [I]3132-monsieur accepted the responsibility - not , certainly , without fear , but fear blent with other sentiments , curiosity , amongst them . [I]3132-monsieur opened the door , [I]3132-monsieur entered , [I]3132-monsieur closed it behind [me]3132-monsieur as quickly and quietly as a rather unsteady hand would permit ; for to be slow or bustling , to rattle a latch , or leave a door gaping wide , were aggravations of crime often more disastrous in result than the main crime itself . There [I]3132-monsieur stood then , and there [he]6589-the restive little man sat ; [his]6589-the restive little man humour was visibly bad - almost at its worst ; [he]6589-the restive little man had been giving a lesson in arithmetic - for [he]6589-the restive little man gave lessons on any and every subject that struck [his]6589-the restive little man fancy - and arithmetic being a dry subject , invariably disagreed with [him]6589-the restive little man : not [a pupil]4902-a pupil but trembled when [he]6589-the restive little man spoke of figures . [He]6589-the restive little man sat , bent above [his]6589-the restive little man desk : to look up at the sound of an entrance , at the occurrence of a direct breach of [his]6589-the restive little man will and law , was an effort [he]6589-the restive little man could not for the moment bring [himself]6589-the restive little man to make . It was quite as well : [I]3132-monsieur thus gained time to walk up the long classe ; and it suited [my]3132-monsieur idiosyncracy far better to encounter the near burst of anger like [his]6589-the restive little man , than to bear its menace at a distance . At [his]6589-the restive little man estrade [I]3132-monsieur paused , just in front ; of course [I]3132-monsieur was not worthy of immediate attention : [he]6589-the restive little man proceeded with [his]6589-the restive little man lesson . [Disdain]387-disdain would not do : [he]6589-the restive little man must hear and [he]6589-the restive little man must answer [my]3132-monsieur message . Not being quite tall enough to lift [my]3132-monsieur head over [his]6589-the restive little man desk , elevated upon the estrade , and thus suffering eclipse in [my]3132-monsieur present position , [I]3132-monsieur ventured to peep round , with the design , at first , of merely getting a better view of [his]6589-the restive little man face , which had struck [me]3132-monsieur when [I]3132-monsieur entered as bearing a close and picturesque resemblance to that of a black and sallow tiger . Twice did [I]3132-monsieur enjoy this side - view with impunity , advancing and receding unseen ; the third time [my]3132-monsieur eye had scarce dawned beyond the obscuration of the desk , when it was caught and transfixed through its very pupil - transfixed by the "[3132-monsieur] lunettes . " [Rosine]203-rosine was right ; these utensils had in them a blank and immutable terror , beyond the mobile wrath of [the wearer]1034-the wearer 's own unglazed eyes . [I]3132-monsieur now found the advantage of proximity : these short - sighted "[3132-monsieur] lunettes " were useless for the inspection of [a criminal]6592-a criminal under [Monsieur]6593-monsieur 's nose ; accordingly , [he]6589-the restive little man doffed them , and [he]6589-the restive little man and [I]0-i stood on more equal terms . [I]0-i am glad [I]0-i was not really much afraid of [him]6589-the restive little man - that , indeed , close in [his]6589-the restive little man presence , [I]0-i felt no terror at all ; for upon [his]6589-the restive little man demanding cord and gibbet to execute the sentence recently pronounced , [I]0-i was able to furnish [him]6589-the restive little man with a needleful of embroidering thread with such accommodating civility as could not but allay some portion at least of [his]6589-the restive little man surplus irritation . Of course [I]0-i did not parade this courtesy before public view : [I]0-i merely handed the thread round the angle of the desk , and attached it , ready noosed , to the barred back of [the Professor]2055-the professor 's chair . "[0-i] Que [me]0-i voulez - vous ? " said [he]6589-the restive little man in a growl of which the music was wholly confined to [his]6589-the restive little man chest and throat , for [he]6589-the restive little man kept [his]6589-the restive little man teeth clenched ; and seemed registering to [himself]6589-the restive little man an inward vow that nothing earthly should wring from [him]6589-the restive little man a smile . [My]3136-monsieur answer commenced uncompromisingly : "[3136-monsieur] [Monsieur]3136-monsieur , " [I]3136-monsieur said , "[3136-monsieur] je veux l'impossible , des choses inouies ; " and thinking it best not to mince matters , but to administer the "[3136-monsieur] douche " with decision , in a low but quick voice , [I]3136-monsieur delivered the Athenian message , floridly exaggerating its urgency . Of course , [he]6589-the restive little man would not hear a word of it . "[3136-monsieur] [He]3136-monsieur would not go ; [he]3136-monsieur would not leave [[his]3136-monsieur present class]3137-his present class , let [all the officials of [Villette]3-villette]3138-all the officials of villette send for [him]3136-monsieur . [He]3136-monsieur would not put [himself]3136-monsieur an inch out of [his]3136-monsieur way at the bidding of [king]3139-king , [cabinet]3140-cabinet , and [chambers]3141-chambers together . " [I]3136-monsieur knew , however , that [he]3136-monsieur must go ; that , talk as [he]3136-monsieur would , both [his]3136-monsieur duty and interest commanded an immediate and literal compliance with the summons : [I]3136-monsieur stood , therefore , waiting in silence , as if [he]3136-monsieur had not yet spoken . [He]3136-monsieur asked what more [I]3136-monsieur wanted . "[3136-monsieur] Only [Monsieur]3142-monsieur 's answer to deliver to [the commissionaire]3143-the commissionaire . " [He]3136-monsieur waved an impatient negative . [I]3136-monsieur ventured to stretch [my]3136-monsieur hand to the bonnet - grec which lay in grim repose on the window - sill . [He]3136-monsieur followed this daring movement with [his]3136-monsieur eye , no doubt in mixed pity and amazement at its presumption . "[3136-monsieur] Ah ! " [he]3136-monsieur muttered , "[3136-monsieur] if it came to that - if [Miss Lucy]142-lucy meddled with [his]3142-monsieur bonnet - grec - [she]142-lucy might just put it on [herself]142-lucy , turn garcon for the occasion , and benevolently go to [the Athenee]95-the athenee in [his]3142-monsieur stead . " With great respect , [I]142-lucy laid the bonnet on the desk , where its tassel seemed to give [me]142-lucy an awful nod . "[142-lucy] [I]0-i 'll write a note of apology - that will do ! " said [he]3136-monsieur , still bent on evasion . Knowing well it would not do , [I]142-lucy gently pushed the bonnet towards [his]3136-monsieur hand . Thus impelled , it slid down the polished slope of the varnished and unbaized desk , carried before it the light steel- framed "[142-lucy] lunettes , " and , fearful to relate , they fell to the estrade . A score of times ere now had [I]142-lucy seen them fall and receive no damage - this time , as [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy 's hapless luck would have it , they so fell that each clear pebble became a shivered and shapeless star . Now , indeed , dismay seized [me]142-lucy - dismay and regret . [I]142-lucy knew the value of these "[142-lucy] lunettes " : [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's sight was peculiar , not easily fitted , and these glasses suited [him]196-m. paul . [I]3144-traitress had heard [him]196-m. paul call them [his]196-m. paul treasures : as [I]3144-traitress picked them up , cracked and worthless , [my]3144-traitress hand trembled . Frightened through all [my]3144-traitress nerves [I]3144-traitress was to see the mischief [I]3144-traitress had done , but [I]3144-traitress think [I]3144-traitress was even more sorry than afraid . For some seconds [I]3144-traitress dared not look [the bereaved Professor]6595-the bereaved professor in the face ; [he]0-i was the first to speak . "[3144-traitress] La ! " said [he]0-i : "[3144-traitress] [me]0-i voila veuf de mes lunettes ! [I]0-i think [Mademoiselle Lucy]333-lucy will now confess that the cord and gallows are amply earned ; [she]333-lucy trembles in anticipation of [her]333-lucy doom . Ah , [traitress]3144-traitress ! [traitress]3144-traitress ! [You]3144-traitress are resolved to have [me]0-i quite blind and helpless in [your]3144-traitress hands ! " [I]3144-traitress lifted [my]3144-traitress eyes : [his]0-i face , instead of being irate , lowering , and furrowed , was overflowing with the smile , coloured with the bloom [I]3144-traitress had seen brightening it that evening at [the Hotel Crecy]2993-the hotel crecy . [He]0-i was not angry - not even grieved . For the real injury [he]0-i showed [himself]0-i full of clemency ; under the real provocation , patient as [a saint]6597-a saint . This event , which seemed so untoward - which [I]3144-traitress thought had ruined at once [my]3144-traitress chance of successful persuasion - proved [my]3144-traitress best help . Difficult of management so long as [I]3144-traitress had done [him]0-i no harm , [he]0-i became graciously pliant as soon as [I]3144-traitress stood in [his]0-i presence [a conscious and contrite offender]6598-a conscious and contrite offender . Still gently railing at [me]3144-traitress as "[3144-traitress] une forte femme - une Anglaise terrible - une petite casse - tout " - [he]0-i declared that [he]0-i dared not but obey [one who had given such an instance of [her]6599-one who had given such an instance of her dangerous prowess dangerous prowess]6599-one who had given such an instance of her dangerous prowess ; it was absolutely like [the "[3144-traitress] grand Empereur smashing the vase]6600-the " grand empereur smashing the vase to inspire dismay . " So , at last , crowning [himself]0-i with [his]0-i bonnet - grec , and taking [his]0-i ruined "[3144-traitress] lunettes " from [my]3144-traitress hand with a clasp of kind pardon and encouragement , [he]0-i made [his]0-i bow , and went off to [the Athenee]95-the athenee in first - rate humour and spirits . After all this amiability , [the reader]759-the reader will be sorry for [my]3144-traitress sake to hear that [I]3144-traitress was quarrelling with [M. Paul]196-m. paul again before night ; yet so it was , and [I]3144-traitress could not help it . It was [his]0-i occasional custom - and a very laudable , acceptable custom , too - to arrive of an evening , always [a l'improviste]6602-a l'improviste , unannounced , burst in on the silent hour of study , establish a sudden despotism over [us]6603-us and [our]6603-us occupations , cause books to be put away , work - bags to be brought out , and , drawing forth a single thick volume , or a handful of pamphlets , substitute for the besotted "[3144-traitress] lecture pieuse , " drawled by [a sleepy pupil]6604-a sleepy pupil , some tragedy made grand by grand reading , ardent by fiery action - some drama , whereof , for [my]3144-traitress part , [I]3144-traitress rarely studied the intrinsic merit ; for [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul made it a vessel for an outpouring , and filled it with [his]0-i native verve and passion like a cup with a vital brewage . Or else [he]0-i would flash through [our]6603-us conventual darkness a reflex of a brighter world , show [us]6603-us a glimpse of the current literature of the day , read [us]6603-us passages from some enchanting tale , or the last witty feuilleton which had awakened laughter in [the saloons of [Paris]59-paris]6605-the saloons of paris ; taking care always to expunge , with the severest hand , whether from tragedy , melodrama , tale , or essay , whatever passage , phrase , or word , could be deemed unsuited to [an audience of "[3144-traitress] jeunes filles]6606-an audience of " jeunes filles . " [I]3144-traitress noticed more than once , that where retrenchment without substitute would have left unmeaning vacancy , or introduced weakness , [he]0-i could , and did , improvise whole paragraphs , no less vigorous than irreproachable ; the dialogue - the description - [he]0-i engrafted was often far better than that [he]0-i pruned away . Well , on the evening in question , [we]6603-us were sitting silent as [nuns]1018-nuns in a "[3144-traitress] retreat , " [the pupils]1102-the pupils studying , [the teachers]4800-the teachers working . [I]3144-traitress remember [my]3144-traitress work ; it was a slight matter of fancy , and it rather interested [me]3144-traitress ; it had a purpose ; [I]3144-traitress was not doing it merely to kill time ; [I]3144-traitress meant it when finished as a gift ; and the occasion of presentation being near , haste was requisite , and [my]3144-traitress fingers were busy . [We]6603-us heard the sharp bell - peal which [we]6603-us all knew ; then the rapid step familiar to each ear : the words "[3144-traitress] Voila Monsieur ! " had scarcely broken simultaneously from every lip , when the two - leaved door split as split it always did for [his]0-i admission - such a slow word as "[3144-traitress] open " is inefficient to describe [his]0-i movements , and [he]0-i stood in the midst of [us]6603-us . There were two study tables , both long and flanked with benches ; over the centre of each hung a lamp ; beneath this lamp , on either side the table , sat [a teacher]4895-a teacher ; [the girls]4757-the girls were arranged to the right hand and the left ; [the eldest and most studious]6612-the eldest and most studious nearest the lamps or tropics ; [the idlers]6613-the idlers and [little ones towards the north and south poles]6614-little ones towards the north and south poles . [Monsieur]6615-monsieur 's habit was politely to hand a chair to [some teacher]6616-some teacher , generally [Zelie St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , [the senior mistress]6617-the senior mistress ; then to take [her]261-mademoiselle vacated seat ; and thus avail [himself]6615-monsieur of the full beam of [Cancer]388-cancer or Capricorn , which , owing to [his]6615-monsieur near sight , [he]6615-monsieur needed . As usual , [Zelie]261-mademoiselle rose with alacrity , smiling to the whole extent of [her]261-mademoiselle mouth , and the full display of [her]261-mademoiselle upper and under rows of teeth - that strange smile which passes from ear to ear , and is marked only by a sharp thin curve , which fails to spread over the countenance , and neither dimples the cheek nor lights the eye . [I]3146-ne bougez pas suppose [Monsieur]6618-monsieur did not see [her]261-mademoiselle , or [he]6618-monsieur had taken a whim that [he]6618-monsieur would not notice [her]261-mademoiselle , for [he]6618-monsieur was as capricious as [women]4398-women are said to be ; then [his]6618-monsieur "[3146-ne bougez pas] lunettes " [he]6618-monsieur had got [another pair]6620-another pair served [him]6618-monsieur as an excuse for all sorts of little oversights and shortcomings . Whatever might be [his]6618-monsieur reason , [he]6618-monsieur passed by [Zelie]261-mademoiselle , came to the other side of the table , and before [I]3144-traitress could start up to clear the way , whispered , "[3144-traitress] [Ne bougez pas]3146-ne bougez pas , " and established [himself]6618-monsieur between [me]179-ginevra and [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , who always would be [[my]179-ginevra neighbour]6621-my neighbour , and have [her]179-ginevra elbow in [my]179-ginevra side , however often [I]179-ginevra declared to [her]179-ginevra , "[179-ginevra] [Ginevra]179-ginevra , [I]0-i wish [you]179-ginevra were at [Jericho]99-jericho . " It was easy to say , "[179-ginevra] Ne bougez pas ; " but how could [I]179-ginevra help it ? [I]179-ginevra must make [him]6618-monsieur room , and [I]179-ginevra must request [the pupils]1102-the pupils to recede that [I]179-ginevra might recede . It was very well for [Ginevra]179-ginevra to be gummed to [me]179-ginevra , "[179-ginevra] keeping [herself]179-ginevra warm , " as [she]179-ginevra said , on the winter evenings , and harassing [my]179-ginevra very heart with [her]179-ginevra fidgetings and pokings , obliging [me]179-ginevra , indeed , sometimes to put an artful pin in [my]179-ginevra girdle by way of protection against [her]179-ginevra elbow ; but [I]179-ginevra suppose [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul was not to be subjected to the same kind of treatment , so [I]179-ginevra swept away [my]179-ginevra working materials , to clear space for [his]196-m. paul book , and withdrew [myself]179-ginevra to make room for [[his]196-m. paul person]6623-his person ; not , however , leaving more than a yard of interval , just what [any reasonable man]6624-any reasonable man would have regarded as a convenient , respectful allowance of bench . But [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul never was reasonable ; flint and tinder that [he]196-m. paul was ! [he]196-m. paul struck and took fire directly . "[179-ginevra] Vous ne voulez pas de moi pour voisin , " [he]196-m. paul growled : "[179-ginevra] vous vous donnez des airs de caste ; vous [me]0-i traitez en paria ; " [he]196-m. paul scowled . "[0-i] Soit ! je vais arranger la chose ! " And [he]196-m. paul set to work . "[179-ginevra] Levez vous toutes , Mesdemoiselles ! " cried [he]196-m. paul . [The girls]4757-the girls rose . [He]196-m. paul made [them]4757-the girls all file off to the other table . [He]196-m. paul then placed [me]3149-le faux dieu at one extremity of the long bench , and having duly and carefully brought [me]3149-le faux dieu [my]3149-le faux dieu work - basket , silk , scissors , all [my]3149-le faux dieu implements , [he]196-m. paul fixed [himself]196-m. paul quite at the other end . At this arrangement , highly absurd as it was , not [a soul in [the room]600-the room]6626-a soul in the room dared to laugh ; luckless for [the giggler]6628-the giggler would have been the giggle . As for [me]3149-le faux dieu , [I]3149-le faux dieu took it with entire coolness . There [I]3149-le faux dieu sat , isolated and cut off from human intercourse ; [I]3149-le faux dieu sat and minded [my]3149-le faux dieu work , and was quiet , and not at all unhappy . "[3149-le faux dieu] Est ce assez de distance ? " [he]196-m. paul demanded . "[3149-le faux dieu] Monsieur en est l'arbitre , " said [I.]3149-le faux dieu "[3149-le faux dieu] Vous savez bien que non . C'est vous qui avez cree ce vide immense : [moi]3147-moi je n'y ai pas mis la main . " And with this assertion [he]196-m. paul commenced the reading . For [his]196-m. paul misfortune [he]196-m. paul had chosen a French translation of what [he]196-m. paul called "[3147-moi] [un drame de Williams Shackspire]3148-un drame de williams shackspire ; [le faux dieu]3149-le faux dieu , " [he]196-m. paul further announced , "[3149-le faux dieu] de ces sots paiens , les Anglais . " How far otherwise [he]196-m. paul would have characterized [him]196-m. paul had [his]196-m. paul temper not been upset , [I]3149-le faux dieu scarcely need intimate . Of course , the translation being French , was very inefficient ; nor did [I]3149-le faux dieu make any particular effort to conceal the contempt which some of its forlorn lapses were calculated to excite . Not that it behoved or beseemed [me]3149-le faux dieu to say anything : but [one]607-one can occasionally look the opinion it is forbidden to embody in words . [Monsieur]6630-monsieur 's lunettes being on the alert , [he]196-m. paul gleaned up every stray look ; [I]3149-le faux dieu do n't think [he]196-m. paul lost one : the consequence was , [his]196-m. paul eyes soon discarded a screen , that their blaze might sparkle free , and [he]196-m. paul waxed hotter at the north pole to which [he]196-m. paul had voluntarily exiled [himself]196-m. paul , than , considering the general temperature of [the room]600-the room , it would have been reasonable to become under the vertical ray of Cancer itself . The reading over , it appeared problematic whether [he]196-m. paul would depart with [his]196-m. paul anger unexpressed , or whether [he]196-m. paul would give it vent . Suppression was not much in [his]196-m. paul habits ; but still , what had been done to [him]196-m. paul definite enough to afford matter for overt reproof ? [I]3149-le faux dieu had not uttered a sound , and could not justly be deemed amenable to reprimand or penalty for having permitted a slightly freer action than usual to the muscles about [my]3149-le faux dieu eyes and mouth . The supper , consisting of bread , and milk diluted with tepid water , was brought in . In respectful consideration of [the Professor]2055-the professor 's presence , the rolls and glasses were allowed to stand instead of being immediately handed round . "[3149-le faux dieu] Take [your]3150-your supper , [ladies]622-ladies , " said [he]196-m. paul , seeming to be occupied in making marginal notes to [his]196-m. paul "[622-ladies] Williams Shackspire . " [They]622-ladies took it . [I]3152-i also accepted a roll and glass , but being now more than ever interested in [my]3152-i work , [I]3152-i kept [my]3152-i seat of punishment , and wrought while [I]3152-i munched [my]3152-i bread and sipped [my]3152-i beverage , the whole with easy sang - froid ; with a certain snugness of composure , indeed , scarcely in [my]3152-i habits , and pleasantly novel to [my]3152-i feelings . It seemed as if the presence of a nature so restless , chafing , thorny as that of [M. Paul]196-m. paul absorbed all feverish and unsettling influences like a magnet , and left [me]3152-i none but such as were placid and harmonious . [He]196-m. paul rose . "[3152-i] Will [he]3152-i go away without saying another word ? " Yes ; [he]196-m. paul turned to the door . No : [he]196-m. paul re -turned on [his]196-m. paul steps ; but only , perhaps , to take [his]196-m. paul pencil - case , which had been left on the table . [He]196-m. paul took it - shut the pencil in and out , broke its point against the wood , re - cut and pocketed it , and . . . walked promptly up to [me]3152-i . [The girls]4757-the girls and [teachers]1087-teachers , gathered round the other table , were talking pretty freely : [they]4757-the girls always talked at meals ; and , from the constant habit of speaking fast and loud at such times , did not now subdue [their]4757-the girls voices much . [M. Paul]196-m. paul came and stood behind [me]3152-i . [He]196-m. paul asked at what [I]3152-i was working ; and [I]3152-i said [I]3152-i was making [a watchguard]6635-a watchguard . [He]196-m. paul asked , "[3152-i] For whom ? " And [I]3152-i answered , "[3152-i] For [a gentleman]629-a gentleman - [one of [[my]0-i friends]2626-my friends]3154-one of my friends . " [M. Paul]196-m. paul stooped down and proceeded - as [novel - writers]6636-novel - writers say , and , as was literally true in [his]196-m. paul case - to "[629-a gentleman] hiss " into [my]389-fougue ear some poignant words . [He]196-m. paul said that , of [all the women [he]196-m. paul knew]6637-all the women he knew , [I]389-fougue was the one who could make [herself]389-fougue the most consummately unpleasant : [I]389-fougue was [she]6638-she with whom it was least possible to live on friendly terms . [I]389-fougue had a "[389-fougue] caractere intraitable , " and perverse to a miracle . How [I]389-fougue managed it , or what possessed [me]389-fougue , [he]196-m. paul , for [his]196-m. paul part , did not know ; but with whatever pacific and amicable intentions [a person]6639-a person accosted [me]389-fougue - crac ! [I]389-fougue turned concord to discord , good - will to enmity . [He]196-m. paul was sure , [he]196-m. paul - [M. Paul]196-m. paul - wished [me]389-fougue well enough ; [he]196-m. paul had never done [me]389-fougue any harm that [he]196-m. paul knew of ; [he]196-m. paul might , at least , [he]196-m. paul supposed , claim a right to be regarded as [a neutral acquaintance]6640-a neutral acquaintance , guiltless of hostile sentiments : yet , how [I]389-fougue behaved to [him]196-m. paul ! With what pungent vivacities - what an impetus of mutiny - what a "[389-fougue] fougue " of injustice ! Here [I]389-fougue could not avoid opening [my]389-fougue eyes somewhat wide , and even slipping in a slight interjectional observation : "[389-fougue] Vivacities ? Impetus ? [Fougue]389-fougue ? [I]0-i did n't know .... " "[0-i] Chut ! a l'instant ! There ! there [I]0-i went - vive comme la poudre ! " [He]196-m. paul was sorry - [he]196-m. paul was very sorry : for [my]0-i sake [he]196-m. paul grieved over the hapless peculiarity . This "[0-i] emportement , " [this "[389-fougue] chaleur "]6641-this " chaleur " - generous , perhaps , but excessive - would yet , [he]196-m. paul feared , do [me]389-fougue a mischief . It was a pity : [I]389-fougue was not - [he]196-m. paul believed , in [his]196-m. paul soul - wholly without good qualities : and would [I]389-fougue but hear reason , and be more sedate , more sober , less "[389-fougue] en l'air , " less "[389-fougue] coquette , " less taken by show , less prone to set an undue value on outside excellence - to make much of the attentions of [people]531-people remarkable chiefly for so many feet of stature , "[389-fougue] des couleurs de poupee , " "[3156-he] un nez plus ou moins bien fait , " and an enormous amount of fatuity - [I]3156-he might yet prove an useful , perhaps an exemplary character . But , as it was - And here , [the little man]1008-the little man 's voice was for a minute choked . [I]3156-he would have looked up at [him]1008-the little man , or held out [my]3156-he hand , or said a soothing word ; but [I]3156-he was afraid , if [I]3156-he stirred , [I]3156-he should either laugh or cry ; so odd , in all this , was the mixture of the touching and the absurd . [I]3156-he thought [he]1008-the little man had nearly done : but no ; [he]1008-the little man sat down that [he]1008-the little man might go on at [his]1008-the little man ease . "[3156-he] While [he]3156-he , [M. Paul]196-m. paul , was on these painful topics , [he]3156-he would dare [my]0-i anger for the sake of [my]0-i good , and would venture to refer to a change [he]3156-he had noticed in [my]0-i dress . [He]3156-he was free to confess that when [he]3156-he first knew [me]0-i - or , rather , was in the habit of catching a passing glimpse of [me]0-i from time to time - [I]0-i satisfied [him]3156-he on this point : the gravity , the austere simplicity , obvious in this particular , were such as to inspire the highest hopes for [my]0-i best interests . What fatal influence had impelled [me]0-i lately to introduce flowers under the brim of [my]0-i bonnet , to wear ' des cols brodes , ' and even to appear on one occasion in a scarlet gown - [he]3156-he might indeed conjecture , but , for the present , would not openly declare . " Again [I]390-scarlet interrupted , and this time not without an accent at once indignant and horror - struck . "[390-scarlet] [Scarlet]390-scarlet , [Monsieur Paul]384-monsieur paul ? It was not scarlet ! It was pink , and pale pink to : and further subdued by black lace . " "[3156-he] Pink or scarlet , yellow or crimson , pea - green or sky - blue , it was all one : these were all flaunting , giddy colours ; and as to the lace [I]0-i talked of , that was but a ' colifichet de plus . ' " And [he]3156-he sighed over [my]3156-he degeneracy . "[3156-he] [He]3156-he could not , [he]3156-he was sorry to say , be so particular on this theme as [he]3156-he could wish : not possessing the exact names of these ' babioles , ' [he]3156-he might run into small verbal errors which would not fail to lay [him]3156-he open to [my]0-i sarcasm , and excite [my]0-i unhappily sudden and passionate disposition . [He]3156-he would merely say , in general terms - and in these general terms [he]3156-he knew [he]3156-he was correct - that [my]0-i costume had of late assumed ' des facons mondaines , ' which it wounded [him]3156-he to see . " What "[3156-he] facons mondaines " [he]3156-he discovered in [my]0-i present winter merino and plain white collar , [I]0-i own it puzzled [me]0-i to guess : and when [I]0-i asked [him]3156-he , [he]3156-he said it was all made with too much attention to effect - and besides , "[0-i] had [I]0-i not a bow of ribbon at [my]0-i neck ? " "[0-i] And if [you]3156-he condemn a bow of ribbon for [a lady]1639-a lady , [Monsieur]3158-monsieur , [you]3156-he would necessarily disapprove of a thing like this for [a gentleman]629-a gentleman ? " - holding up [my]3156-he bright little chainlet of silk and gold . [His]3156-he sole reply was a groan - [I]3156-he suppose over [my]3156-he levity . After sitting some minutes in silence , and watching the progress of the chain , at which [I]3156-he now wrought more assiduously than ever , [he]3156-he inquired : "[3156-he] Whether what [he]629-a gentleman had just said would have the effect of making [me]0-i entirely detest [him]629-a gentleman ? " [I]629-a gentleman hardly remember what answer [I]629-a gentleman made , or how it came about ; [I]629-a gentleman do n't think [I]629-a gentleman spoke at all , but [I]629-a gentleman know [we]6644-we managed to bid good - night on friendly terms : and , even after [M. Paul]196-m. paul had reached the door , [he]3156-he turned back just to explain , "[629-a gentleman] that [he]629-a gentleman would not be understood to speak in entire condemnation of the scarlet dress " "[629-a gentleman] Pink ! pink ! " [I]629-a gentleman threw in ; "[629-a gentleman] that [he]629-a gentleman had no intention to deny it the merit of looking rather well " the fact was , [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's taste in colours decidedly leaned to the brilliant ; "[629-a gentleman] only [he]629-a gentleman wished to counsel [me]0-i , whenever , [I]0-i wore it , to do so in the same spirit as if its material were ' bure , ' and its hue ' gris de poussiere . ' " "[629-a gentleman] And the flowers under [my]0-i bonnet , [Monsieur]3160-monsieur ? " [I]3160-monsieur asked . "[3160-monsieur] They are very little ones - ? " "[3160-monsieur] Keep them little , then , " said [he]3160-monsieur . "[3160-monsieur] Permit them not to become full- blown . " "[3160-monsieur] And the bow , [Monsieur]3161-monsieur - the bit of ribbon ? " "[3161-monsieur] Va pour le ruban ! " was the propitious answer . And so [we]6645-we settled it . "[3161-monsieur] Well done , [Lucy Snowe]333-lucy ! " cried [I]333-lucy to [myself]333-lucy ; "[333-lucy] [you]333-lucy have come in for a pretty lecture - brought on [yourself]333-lucy [a ' rude savant]3162-a ' rude savant , ' and all through [your]333-lucy wicked fondness for worldly vanities ! Who would have thought it ? [You]333-lucy deemed [yourself]333-lucy [a melancholy sober]3163-a melancholy sober - sides enough ! [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra there regards [you]333-lucy as [a second Diogenes]3164-a second diogenes . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , the other day , politely turned the conversation when it ran on the wild gifts of [the actress Vashti]3165-the actress vashti , because , as [he]3160-monsieur kindly said , ' [Miss Snowe]142-lucy looked uncomfortable . ' [Dr. John Bretton]135-graham knows [you]333-lucy only as ' quiet [Lucy]142-lucy ' - ' [a creature inoffensive as a shadow]3166-a creature inoffensive as a shadow ; ' [he]135-graham has said , and [you]333-lucy have heard [him]135-graham say it : ' [Lucy]142-lucy 's disadvantages spring from over - gravity in tastes and manner - want of colour in character and costume . ' Such are [your]333-lucy own and [[your]333-lucy friends]3167-your friends ' impressions ; and behold ! there starts up [a little man]3168-a little man , differing diametrically from all these , roundly charging [you]333-lucy with being too airy and cheery - too volatile and versatile - too flowery and coloury . [This harsh little man]3169-this harsh little man - [this pitiless censor]3170-this pitiless censor - gathers up all [your]333-lucy poor scattered sins of vanity , [your]333-lucy luckless chiffon of rose- colour , [your]333-lucy small fringe of a wreath , [your]333-lucy small scrap of ribbon , [your]333-lucy silly bit of lace , and calls [you]333-lucy to account for the lot , and for each item . [You]333-lucy are well habituated to be passed by as a shadow in [Life]391-life 's sunshine : it its a new thing to see one testily lifting [his]3171-his hand to screen [his]3171-his eyes , because [you]333-lucy tease [him]3171-his with an obtrusive ray . " CHAPTER XXIX . MONSIEUR 'S FETE . [I]333-lucy was up the next morning an hour before daybreak , and finished [my]333-lucy guard , kneeling on the dormitory floor beside the centre stand , for the benefit of such expiring glimmer as the night - lamp afforded in its last watch . All [my]333-lucy materials - [my]333-lucy whole stock of beads and silk - were used up before the chain assumed the length and richness [I]333-lucy wished ; [I]333-lucy had wrought it double , as [I]333-lucy knew , by the rule of contraries , that to , suit the particular taste whose gratification was in view , an effective appearance was quite indispensable . As a finish to the ornament , a little gold clasp was needed ; fortunately [I]333-lucy possessed it in the fastening of [my]333-lucy sole necklace ; [I]333-lucy duly detached and re - attached it , then coiled compactly the completed guard ; and enclosed it in a small box [I]333-lucy had bought for its brilliancy , made of some tropic shell of the colour called "[333-lucy] nacarat , " and decked with a little coronal of sparkling blue stones . Within the lid of the box , [I]333-lucy carefully graved with [my]333-lucy scissors ' point certain initials . [The reader]759-the reader will , perhaps , remember the description of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's fete ; nor will [he]759-the reader have forgotten that at each anniversary , a handsome present was subscribed for and offered by [the school]4856-the school . The observance of this day was a distinction accorded to none but [Madame]190-madame , and , in a modified form , to [[her]190-madame kinsman]2823-her kinsman and [counsellor]6649-counsellor , [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul . In the latter case it was an honour spontaneously awarded , not plotted and contrived beforehand , and offered an additional proof , amongst many others , of the estimation in which - despite [his]196-m. paul partialities , prejudices , and irritabilities - [the professor of literature]5372-the professor of literature was held by [[his]196-m. paul pupils]6651-his pupils . No article of value was offered to [him]196-m. paul : [he]196-m. paul distinctly gave it to be understood , that [he]196-m. paul would accept neither plate nor jewellery . Yet [he]196-m. paul liked a slight tribute ; the cost , the money - value , did not touch [him]196-m. paul : a diamond ring , a gold snuff - box , presented , with pomp , would have pleased [him]196-m. paul less than a flower , or a drawing , offered simply and with sincere feelings . Such was [his]196-m. paul nature . [He]196-m. paul was [a man]823-a man , not wise in [[his]196-m. paul generation]6653-his generation , yet could [he]196-m. paul claim a filial sympathy with "[333-lucy] the dayspring on high . " [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's fete fell on the first of March and a Thursday . It proved a fine sunny day ; and being likewise the morning on which it was customary to attend mass ; being also otherwise distinguished by the half - holiday which permitted the privilege of walking out , shopping , or paying visits in the afternoon : these combined considerations induced a general smartness and freshness of dress . Clean collars were in vogue ; the ordinary dingy woollen classe - dress was exchanged for something lighter and clearer . [Mademoiselle Zelie St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , on this particular Thursday , even assumed a "[333-lucy] robe de soie , " deemed in economical Labassecour an article of hazardous splendour and luxury ; nay , it was remarked that [she]261-mademoiselle sent for a "[333-lucy] coiffeur " to dress [her]261-mademoiselle hair that morning ; there were pupils acute enough to discover that [she]261-mademoiselle had bedewed [her]261-mademoiselle handkerchief and [her]261-mademoiselle hands with a new and fashionable perfume . [Poor Zelie]261-mademoiselle ! It was much [her]261-mademoiselle wo nt to declare about this time , that [she]261-mademoiselle was tired to death of a life of seclusion and labour ; that [she]261-mademoiselle longed to have the means and leisure for relaxation ; to have some one to work for [her]261-mademoiselle - [a husband who would pay [her]261-mademoiselle debts [she]261-mademoiselle was woefully encumbered with debt , supply [her]261-mademoiselle wardrobe]6654-a husband who would pay her debts she was woefully encumbered with debt , supply her wardrobe , and leave [her]261-mademoiselle at liberty , as [she]261-mademoiselle said , to "[333-lucy] gouter un peu les plaisirs . " It had long been rumoured , that [her]261-mademoiselle eye was upon [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul . [Monsieur Emanuel]384-monsieur paul 's eye was certainly often upon [her]261-mademoiselle . [He]384-monsieur paul would sit and watch [her]261-mademoiselle perseveringly for minutes together . [I]333-lucy have seen [him]384-monsieur paul give [her]261-mademoiselle a quarter - of - an - hour 's gaze , while [the class]6655-the class was silently composing , and [he]384-monsieur paul sat throned on [his]384-monsieur paul estrade , unoccupied . Conscious always of this basilisk attention , [she]261-mademoiselle would writhe under it , half - flattered , half - puzzled , and [Monsieur]6656-monsieur would follow [her]261-mademoiselle sensations , sometimes looking appallingly acute ; for in some cases , [he]6656-monsieur had the terrible unerring penetration of instinct , and pierced in its hiding - place the last lurking thought of the heart , and discerned under florid veilings the bare ; barren places of the spirit : yes , and its perverted tendencies , and its hidden false curves - all that [men]4397-men and [women]4398-women would not have known - the twisted spine , the malformed limb that was born with [them]6659-them , and far worse , the stain or disfigurement [they]6659-them have perhaps brought on [themselves]6659-them . No calamity so accursed but [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul could pity and forgive , if it were acknowledged candidly ; but where [his]384-monsieur paul questioning eyes met dishonest denial - where [his]384-monsieur paul ruthless researches found deceitful concealment - oh , then , [he]384-monsieur paul could be cruel , and [I]333-lucy thought wicked ! [he]384-monsieur paul would exultantly snatch the screen from [poor shrinking wretches]6660-poor shrinking wretches , passionately hurry [them]6660-poor shrinking wretches to [the summit of [the mount of exposure]6662-the mount of exposure]6661-the summit of the mount of exposure , and there show [them]6660-poor shrinking wretches all naked , all false - poor living lies - the spawn of that horrid Truth which can not be looked on unveiled . [He]384-monsieur paul thought [he]384-monsieur paul did justice ; for [my]333-lucy part [I]333-lucy doubt whether [man]618-man has a right to do such justice on [man]618-man : more than once in these [his]384-monsieur paul visitations , [I]333-lucy have felt compelled to give tears to [[his]384-monsieur paul victims]6665-his victims , and not spared ire and keen reproach to [himself]384-monsieur paul . [He]384-monsieur paul deserved it ; but it was difficult to shake [him]384-monsieur paul in [his]384-monsieur paul firm conviction that the work was righteous and needed . Breakfast being over and mass attended , the school - bell rang and [the rooms]5260-the rooms filled : a very pretty spectacle was presented in classe . [Pupils]4924-pupils and [teachers]1087-teachers sat neatly arrayed , orderly and expectant , each bearing in [her]6669-her hand the bouquet of felicitation - the prettiest spring - flowers all fresh , and filling the air with their fragrance : [I]333-lucy only had no bouquet . [I]333-lucy like to see flowers growing , but when they are gathered , they cease to please . [I]333-lucy look on [them]6670-them as things rootless and perishable ; their likeness to life makes [me]333-lucy sad . [I]333-lucy never offer flowers to those [I]333-lucy love ; [I]333-lucy never wish to receive them from hands dear to [me]333-lucy . [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle marked [my]333-lucy empty hands - [she]261-mademoiselle could not believe [I]333-lucy had been so remiss ; with avidity [her]261-mademoiselle eye roved over and round [me]333-lucy : surely [I]333-lucy must have some solitary symbolic flower somewhere : some small knot of violets , something to win [myself]333-lucy praise for taste , commendation for ingenuity . The unimaginative "[333-lucy] Anglaise " proved better than [the Parisienne]260-the parisienne 's fears : [she]3173-she sat literally unprovided , as bare of bloom or leaf as the winter tree . This ascertained , [Zelie]261-mademoiselle smiled , well pleased . "[3172-you] How wisely [you]3172-you have acted to keep [your]3172-you money , [Miss Lucie]241-miss lucie , " [she]3173-she said : ' silly [I]3173-she have gone and thrown away two francs on a bouquet of hot- house flowers ! "[3173-she] And [she]3173-she showed with pride [her]3173-she splendid nosegay . But hush ! a step : the step . It came prompt , as usual , but with a promptitude , [we]3174-our felt disposed to flatter [ourselves]3174-our , inspired by other feelings than mere excitability of nerve and vehemence of intent . [We]3174-our thought [[our]3174-our Professor]3175-our professor 's " foot - fall "[3174-our] to speak romantically had in it a friendly promise this morning ; and so it had . [He]3175-our professor entered in a mood which made [him]3175-our professor as good as a new sunbeam to [the already well - lit first classe]3176-the already well - lit first classe . The morning light playing amongst [our]3174-our plants and laughing on [our]3174-our walls , caught an added lustre from [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's all - benignant salute . Like [a true Frenchman]3177-a true frenchman though [I]0-i do n't know why [I]0-i should say so , for [he]3175-our professor was of strain neither French nor [Labassecourien]100-labassecourien , [he]3175-our professor had dressed for the ' situation " and the occasion . Not by the vague folds , sinister and conspirator - like , of [his]3175-our professor soot- dark paletot were the outlines of [[his]3175-our professor person]6623-his person obscured ; on the contrary , [his]3175-our professor figure such as it was , [I]3175-our professor do n't boast of it was well set off by a civilized coat and a silken vest quite pretty to behold . [The defiant and pagan bonnet - grec]6672-the defiant and pagan bonnet - grec had vanished : bare - headed , [he]3175-our professor came upon [us]3174-our , carrying a Christian hat in [his]3175-our professor gloved hand . [The little man]1008-the little man looked well , very well ; there was a clearness of amity in [his]3175-our professor blue eye , and a glow of good feeling on [his]3175-our professor dark complexion , which passed perfectly in the place of beauty : [one]607-one really did not care to observe that [his]3175-our professor nose , though far from small , was of no particular shape , [his]3175-our professor cheek thin , [his]3175-our professor brow marked and square , [his]3175-our professor mouth no rose - bud : [one]607-one accepted [him]3175-our professor as [he]3175-our professor was , and felt [his]3175-our professor presence the reverse of damping or insignificant . [He]3175-our professor passed to [his]3175-our professor desk ; [he]3175-our professor placed on the same [his]3175-our professor hat and gloves . "[3175-our professor] Bon jour , mes amies , " said [he]3175-our professor , in a tone that somehow made amends to some amongst [us]3174-our for many a sharp snap and savage snarl : not a jocund , good- fellow tone , still less an unctuous priestly , accent , but a voice [he]3175-our professor had belonging to [himself]3175-our professor - a voice used when [his]3175-our professor heart passed the words to [his]3175-our professor lips . That same heart did speak sometimes ; though an irritable , it was not an ossified organ : in its core was a place , tender beyond [a man]823-a man 's tenderness ; a place that humbled [him]3175-our professor to [little children]1710-little children , that bound [him]3175-our professor to [girls]702-girls and [women]4398-women to whom , rebel as [he]3175-our professor would , [he]3175-our professor could not disown [his]3175-our professor affinity , nor quite deny that , on the whole , [he]3175-our professor was better with [them]6680-them than with [his]3175-our professor own sex . "[3178-we] [We]3178-we all wish [Monsieur]3179-monsieur a good day , and present to [him]3179-monsieur [our]3178-we congratulations on the anniversary of [his]3179-monsieur fete , " said [Mademoiselle Zelie]261-mademoiselle , constituting [[herself]261-mademoiselle spokeswoman of [the assembly]6682-the assembly]6681-herself spokeswoman of the assembly ; and advancing with no more twists of affectation than were with [her]261-mademoiselle indispensable to the achievement of motion , [she]261-mademoiselle laid [her]261-mademoiselle costly bouquet before [him]3179-monsieur . [He]3179-monsieur bowed over it . The long train of offerings followed : [all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise]6683-all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise , left [their]6683-all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise tributes as [they]6683-all the pupils , sweeping past with the gliding step foreigners practise went by . [Each girl]5271-each girl so dexterously adjusted [her]5271-each girl separate gift , that when the last bouquet was laid on the desk , it formed the apex to a blooming pyramid - a pyramid blooming , spreading , and towering with such exuberance as , in the end , to eclipse [the hero behind it]6685-the hero behind it . This ceremony over , seats were resumed , and [we]3178-we sat in dead silence , expectant of a speech . [I]3178-we suppose five minutes might have elapsed , and the hush remained unbroken ; ten - and there was no sound . [Many present]6686-many present began , doubtless , to wonder for what [Monsieur]6687-monsieur waited ; as well [they]6686-many present might . Voiceless and viewless , stirless and wordless , [he]3179-monsieur kept [his]3179-monsieur station behind the pile of flowers . At last there issued forth a voice , rather deep , as if it spoke out of a hollow : - "[3178-we] Est - ce la tout ? " [Mademoiselle Zelie]261-mademoiselle looked round . "[3180-you] [You]3180-you have all presented [your]3180-you bouquets ? " inquired [[she]261-mademoiselle of [the pupils]1102-the pupils]6688-she of the pupils . Yes ; [they]1102-the pupils had all given [their]1102-the pupils nosegays , from [the eldest]6690-the eldest to [the youngest]1168-the youngest , from the tallest to the most diminutive . [The senior mistress]6617-the senior mistress signified as much . "[3180-you] Est - ce la tout ? " was reiterated in an intonation which , deep before , had now descended some notes lower . "[3181-monsieur] [Monsieur]3181-monsieur , " said [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , rising , and this time speaking with [her]261-mademoiselle own sweet smile , "[3181-monsieur] [I]0-i have the honour to tell [you]3181-monsieur that , with a single exception , [every person in classe]3182-every person in classe has offered [her]3182-every person in classe bouquet . For [Meess Lucie]187-meess lucie , [Monsieur]3183-monsieur will kindly make allowance ; as [a foreigner]891-a foreigner [she]187-meess lucie probably did not know [our]3185-our customs , or did not appreciate their significance . [Meess Lucie]187-meess lucie has regarded this ceremony as too frivolous to be honoured by [her]187-meess lucie observance . " "[187-meess lucie] Famous ! " [I]3181-monsieur muttered between [my]3181-monsieur teeth : "[3181-monsieur] [you]3181-monsieur are [no bad speaker]3186-no bad speaker , [Zelie]261-mademoiselle , when [you]3181-monsieur begin . " The answer vouchsafed to [Mademoiselle St Pierre]392-mademoiselle st pierre from the estrade was given in the gesticulation of a hand from behind the pyramid . This manual action seemed to deprecate words , to enjoin silence . A form , ere long , followed the hand . [Monsieur]6693-monsieur emerged from [his]6693-monsieur eclipse ; and producing [himself]6693-monsieur on the front of [his]6693-monsieur estrade , and gazing straight and fixedly before [him]6693-monsieur at a vast "[3181-monsieur] mappe - monde " covering the wall opposite , [he]6693-monsieur demanded a third time , and now in really tragic tones - "[3181-monsieur] Est - ce la tout ? " [I]3181-monsieur might yet have made all right , by stepping forwards and slipping into [his]6693-monsieur hand the ruddy little shell - box [I]3181-monsieur at that moment held tight in [my]3181-monsieur own . It was what [I]3181-monsieur had fully purposed to do ; but , first , the comic side of [Monsieur]6694-monsieur 's behaviour had tempted [me]3181-monsieur to delay , and now , [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle 's affected interference provoked contumacity . [The reader]759-the reader not having hitherto had any cause to ascribe to [Miss Snowe]142-lucy 's character the most distant pretensions to perfection , will be scarcely surprised to learn that [she]142-lucy felt too perverse to defend [herself]142-lucy from any imputation [the Parisienne]6502-the parisienne might choose to insinuate and besides , [M. Paul]196-m. paul was so tragic , and took [my]3181-monsieur defection so seriously , [he]196-m. paul deserved to be vexed . [I]3181-monsieur kept , then , both [my]3181-monsieur box and [my]3181-monsieur countenance , and sat insensate as any stone . "[3181-monsieur] It is well ! " dropped at length from the lips of [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; and having uttered this phrase , the shadow of some great paroxysm - the swell of wrath , scorn , resolve - passed over [his]196-m. paul brow , rippled [his]196-m. paul lips , and lined [his]196-m. paul cheeks . Gulping down all further comment , [he]196-m. paul launched into [his]196-m. paul customary "[3181-monsieur] discours . " [I]3181-monsieur ca n't at all remember what this "[3181-monsieur] discours " was ; [I]3181-monsieur did not listen to it : the gulping - down process , the abrupt dismissal of [his]196-m. paul mortification or vexation , had given [me]3181-monsieur a sensation which half- counteracted the ludicrous effect of the reiterated "[3181-monsieur] Est - ce la tout ? " Towards the close of the speech there came a pleasing diversion [my]3181-monsieur attention was again amusingly arrested . Owing to some little accidental movement - [I]3181-monsieur think [I]3181-monsieur dropped [my]3181-monsieur thimble on the floor , and in stooping to regain it , hit the crown of [my]3181-monsieur head against the sharp corner of [my]3181-monsieur desk ; which casualties exasperating to [me]3181-monsieur , by rights , if to [anybody]4239-anybody naturally made a slight bustle - [M. Paul]196-m. paul became irritated , and dismissing [his]196-m. paul forced equanimity , and casting to the winds that dignity and self - control with which [he]196-m. paul never cared long to encumber [himself]196-m. paul , [he]196-m. paul broke forth into the strain best calculated to give [him]196-m. paul ease . [I]3181-monsieur do n't know how , in the progress of [his]196-m. paul "[3181-monsieur] discours , " [he]196-m. paul had contrived to cross [the Channel]4588-the channel and land on [British ground]6699-british ground ; but there [I]3181-monsieur found [him]196-m. paul when [I]3181-monsieur began to listen . Casting a quick , cynical glance round [the room]600-the room - a glance which scathed , or was intended to scathe , as it crossed [me]3181-monsieur - [he]196-m. paul fell with fury upon "[3181-monsieur] les Anglaises . " Never have [I]3187-little wicked venomous man heard [English women]6701-english women handled as [M. Paul]196-m. paul that morning handled [them]6701-english women : [he]196-m. paul spared nothing - neither [their]6701-english women minds , morals , manners , nor personal appearance . [I]3187-little wicked venomous man specially remember [his]196-m. paul abuse of [their]6701-english women tall stature , [their]6701-english women long necks , [their]6701-english women thin arms , [their]6701-english women slovenly dress , [their]6701-english women pedantic education , [their]6701-english women impious scepticism ! , [their]6701-english women insufferable pride , [their]6701-english women pretentious virtue : over which [he]196-m. paul ground [his]196-m. paul teeth malignantly , and looked as if , had [he]196-m. paul dared , [he]196-m. paul would have said singular things . Oh ! [he]196-m. paul was spiteful , acrid , savage ; and , as a natural consequence , detestably ugly . "[3187-little wicked venomous man] [Little wicked venomous man]3187-little wicked venomous man ! " thought [I]3181-monsieur ; "[3181-monsieur] am [I]0-i going to harass [myself]0-i with fears of displeasing [you]3188-i , or hurting [your]3188-i feelings ? No , indeed ; [you]3188-i shall be indifferent to [me]0-i , as the shabbiest bouquet in [your]3188-i pyramid " [I]3188-i grieve to say [I]3188-i could not quite carry out this resolution . For some time the abuse of [England]19-england and [the English]393-the english found and left [me]3188-i stolid : [I]3188-i bore it some fifteen minutes stoically enough ; but this hissing cockatrice was determined to sting , and [he]196-m. paul said such things at last - fastening not only upon [[our]6702-our women]6703-our women , but upon [our]6702-our greatest names and [best men]6704-best men ; sullying , the shield of [Britannia]394-britannia , and dabbling [the union jack]6705-the union jack in mud - that [I]3188-i was stung . With vicious relish [he]196-m. paul brought up the most spicy current continental historical falsehoods - than which nothing can be conceived more offensive . [Zelie]261-mademoiselle , and [the whole class]6706-the whole class , became one grin of vindictive delight ; for it is curious to discover how [these clowns of Labassecour]6707-these clowns of labassecour secretly hate [England]19-england . At last , [I]3188-i struck a sharp stroke on [my]3188-i desk , opened [my]3188-i lips , and let loose this cry : - "[3188-i] Vive l'Angleterre , l'Histoire et [les Heros]3189-les heros ! A bas la [France]15-france , la Fiction et les Faquins ! " [The class]6655-the class was struck of a heap . [I]6655-the class suppose [they]6655-the class thought [me]6655-the class mad . [The Professor]2055-the professor put up [his]2055-the professor handkerchief , and fiendishly smiled into its folds . [Little monster of malice]6710-little monster of malice ! [He]196-m. paul now thought [he]196-m. paul had got the victory , since [he]196-m. paul had made [me]6655-the class angry . In a second [he]196-m. paul became good- humoured . With great blandness [he]196-m. paul resumed the subject of [his]196-m. paul flowers ; talked poetically and symbolically of their sweetness , perfume , purity , etcetera ; made Frenchified comparisons between the "[6655-the class] jeunes filles " and the sweet blossoms before [him]196-m. paul ; paid [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle a very full - blown compliment on the superiority of [her]261-mademoiselle bouquet ; and ended by announcing that the first really fine , mild , and balmy morning in spring , [he]196-m. paul intended to take [the whole class]6706-the whole class out to breakfast in [the country]571-the country . "[3190-such of the class] [Such of [the class]6655-the class]3190-such of the class , at least , " [he]196-m. paul added , with emphasis , "[6655-the class] as [he]3192-i could count amongst the number of [[his]3192-i friends]706-his friends . " "[3192-i] Donc je n'y serai pas , " declared [I]3192-i , involuntarily . "[3192-i] Soit ! " was [his]196-m. paul response ; and , gathering [his]196-m. paul flowers in [his]196-m. paul arms , [he]196-m. paul flashed out of classe ; while [I]3192-i , consigning [my]3192-i work , scissors , thimble , and the neglected little box , to [my]3192-i desk , swept up - [stairs]593-stairs . [I]3192-i do n't know whether [he]196-m. paul felt hot and angry , but [I]3192-i am free to confess that [I]3192-i did . Yet with a strange evanescent anger , [I]3192-i had not sat an hour on the edge of [my]3192-i bed , picturing and repicturing [his]196-m. paul look , manner , words ere [I]3192-i smiled at the whole scene . A little pang of regret [I]3192-i underwent that the box had not been offered . [I]3192-i had meant to gratify [him]196-m. paul . [Fate]159-fate would not have it so . In the course of the afternoon , remembering that desks in classe were by no means inviolate repositories , and thinking that it was as well to secure the box , on account of the initials in the lid , P. C. D. E. , for [Paul Carl]395-paul carl or [Carlos David Emanuel]351-david - such was [his]196-m. paul full name - [these foreigners]2273-these foreigners must always have a string of baptismals - [I]3192-i descended to [the schoolroom]5162-the schoolroom . [It]5162-the schoolroom slept in holiday repose . The day [pupils]4924-pupils were all gone [home]542-home , [the boarders]1097-the boarders were out walking , [the teachers]4800-the teachers , except [the surveillante of the week]6720-the surveillante of the week , were in [town]4930-town , visiting or shopping ; [the suite of divisions]6722-the suite of divisions was vacant ; so was [the grande salle]6723-the grande salle , with [its]6723-the grande salle huge solemn globe hanging in the midst , [its]6723-the grande salle pair of many - branched chandeliers , and [its]6723-the grande salle horizontal grand piano closed , silent , enjoying its mid - week Sabbath . [I]3192-i rather wondered to find the first classe door ajar ; [this room]740-this room being usually locked when empty , and being then inaccessible to any save [Madame Beck]190-madame and [myself]3192-i , who possessed a duplicate key . [I]3192-i wondered still more , on approaching , to hear a vague movement as of life - a step , a chair stirred , a sound like the opening of a desk . "[3192-i] It is only [Madame Beck]190-madame doing inspection duty , " was the conclusion following a moment 's reflection . The partially - opened door gave opportunity for assurance on this point . [I]190-madame looked . Behold ! not the inspecting garb of [Madame Beck]190-madame - the shawl and the clean cap - but the coat , and the close - shorn , dark head of [a man]823-a man . [This person]784-this person occupied [my]190-madame chair ; [his]784-this person olive hand held [my]190-madame desk open , [his]784-this person nose was lost to view amongst [my]190-madame papers . [His]784-this person back was towards [me]190-madame , but there could not be a moment 's question about identity . Already was the attire of ceremony discarded : the cherished and ink - stained paletot was resumed ; [the perverse bonnet - grec]6727-the perverse bonnet - grec lay on the floor , as if just dropped from the hand , culpably busy . Now [I]190-madame knew , and [I]190-madame had long known , that that hand of [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's was on the most intimate terms with [my]190-madame desk ; that it raised and lowered the lid , ransacked and arranged the contents , almost as familiarly as [my]190-madame own . The fact was not dubious , nor did [he]784-this person wish it to be so : [he]784-this person left signs of each visit palpable and unmistakable ; hitherto , however , [I]190-madame had never caught [him]784-this person in the act : watch as [I]190-madame would , [I]190-madame could not detect the hours and moments of [his]784-this person coming . [I]190-madame saw [the brownie]6728-the brownie 's work in exercises left overnight full of faults , and found next morning carefully corrected : [I]190-madame profited by [his]784-this person capricious good - will in loans full welcome and refreshing . Between a sallow dictionary and worn - out grammar would magically grow a fresh interesting new work , or a classic , mellow and sweet in its ripe age . Out of [my]190-madame work - basket would laughingly peep a romance , under it would lurk the pamphlet , the magazine , whence last evening 's reading had been extracted . Impossible to doubt the source whence these treasures flowed : had there been no other indication , one condemning and traitor peculiarity , common to [them]6729-them all , settled the question - [they]6729-them smelt of cigars . This was very shocking , of course : [I]190-madame thought so at first , and used to open the window with some bustle , to air [my]190-madame desk , and with fastidious finger and thumb , to hold the peccant brochures forth to the purifying breeze . [I]190-madame was cured of that formality suddenly . [Monsieur]6730-monsieur caught [me]190-madame at it one day , understood the inference , instantly relieved [my]190-madame hand of its burden , and , in another moment , would have thrust the same into the glowing stove . It chanced to be a book , on the perusal of which [I]190-madame was bent ; so for once [I]190-madame proved as decided and quicker than [himself]784-this person ; recaptured the spoil , and - having saved this volume - never hazarded a second . With all this , [I]190-madame had never yet been able to arrest in [his]784-this person visits [the freakish , friendly , cigar - loving phantom]6731-the freakish , friendly , cigar - loving phantom . But now at last [I]190-madame had [him]784-this person : there [he]784-this person was - [the very brownie]6732-the very brownie [himself]784-this person ; and there , curling from [his]784-this person lips , was the pale blue breath of [[his]784-this person Indian darling]6733-his indian darling : [he]784-this person was smoking into [my]190-madame desk : it might well betray [him]784-this person . Provoked at this particular , and yet pleased to surprise [him]784-this person - pleased , that is , with the mixed feeling of [the housewife who discovers at last [her]6734-the housewife who discovers at last her strange elfin strange elfin]6734-the housewife who discovers at last her strange elfin ally busy in the dairy at the untimely churn - [I]190-madame softly stole forward , stood behind [him]784-this person , bent with precaution over [his]784-this person shoulder . [My]190-madame heart smote [me]190-madame to see that - after this morning 's hostility , after [my]190-madame seeming remissness , after the puncture experienced by [his]784-this person feelings , and the ruffling undergone by [his]784-this person temper - [he]784-this person , all willing to forget and forgive , had brought [me]190-madame a couple of handsome volumes , of which the title and authorship were guarantees for interest . Now , as [he]784-this person sat bending above the desk , [he]784-this person was stirring up its contents ; but with gentle and careful hand ; disarranging indeed , but not harming . [My]190-madame heart smote [me]190-madame : as [I]190-madame bent over [him]784-this person , as [he]784-this person sat unconscious , doing [me]190-madame what good [he]784-this person could , and [I]190-madame daresay not feeling towards [me]190-madame unkindly , [my]190-madame morning 's anger quite melted : [I]190-madame did not dislike [Professor Emanuel]303-professor emanuel . [I]190-madame think [he]784-this person heard [me]190-madame breathe . [He]784-this person turned suddenly : [his]784-this person temperament was nervous , yet [he]784-this person never started , and seldom changed colour : there was something hardy about [him]784-this person . "[190-madame] [I]0-i thought [you]3194-you were gone into [town]4930-town with [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers , " said [he]784-this person , taking a grim gripe of [his]784-this person self - possession , which half - escaped [him]784-this person - "[0-i] It is as well [you]3194-you are not . Do [you]3194-you think [I]0-i care for being caught ? Not I. [I]0-i often visit [your]3194-you desk . " "[1465-monsieur] [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [I]0-i know it . " "[1465-monsieur] [You]1465-monsieur find a brochure or tome now and then ; but [you]1465-monsieur do n't read them , because they have passed under this ? " - touching [his]1465-monsieur cigar . "[3198-they] [They]3198-they have , and are no better for the process ; but [I]0-i read them . " "[0-i] Without pleasure ? " "[3199-monsieur] [Monsieur]3199-monsieur must not be contradicted . " "[3199-monsieur] Do [you]1465-monsieur like them , or any of them ? - are they acceptable ? " "[3200-monsieur] [Monsieur]3200-monsieur has seen [me]0-i reading them a hundred times , and knows [I]0-i have not so many recreations as to undervalue those [he]3200-monsieur provides . " "[0-i] [I]0-i mean well ; and , if [you]1465-monsieur see that [I]0-i mean well , and derive some little amusement from [my]0-i efforts , why can [we]3201-we not be [friends]533-friends ? " "[4653-a fatalist] [A fatalist]4653-a fatalist would say - because [we]3201-we can not . " "[4653-a fatalist] This morning , " [he]0-i continued , "[4653-a fatalist] [I]0-i awoke in a bright mood , and came into classe happy ; [you]1465-monsieur spoiled [my]0-i day . " "[1465-monsieur] No , [Monsieur]3204-monsieur , only an hour or two of it , and that unintentionally . " "[3204-monsieur] Unintentionally ! No . It was [my]0-i fete - day ; [everybody]4957-everybody wished [me]0-i happiness but [you]1465-monsieur . [The little children of the third division]3206-the little children of the third division gave [each]3207-each [her]3207-each knot of violets , lisped each [her]3207-each congratulation : - [you]1465-monsieur - nothing . Not a bud , leaf , whisper - not a glance . Was this unintentional ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i meant no harm . " "[0-i] Then [you]1465-monsieur really did not know [our]3201-we custom ? [You]1465-monsieur were unprepared ? [You]1465-monsieur would willingly have laid out a few centimes on a flower to give [me]0-i pleasure , had [you]1465-monsieur been aware that it was expected ? Say so , and all is forgotten , and the pain soothed . " "[0-i] [I]0-i did know that it was expected : [I]0-i was prepared ; yet [I]0-i laid out no centimes on flowers . " "[0-i] It is well - [you]1465-monsieur do right to be honest . [I]0-i should almost have hated [you]1465-monsieur had [you]1465-monsieur flattered and lied . Better declare at once ' [Paul Carl Emanuel]395-paul carl - je te deteste , mon garcon ! ' - than smile an interest , look an affection , and be false and cold at heart . False and cold [I]0-i do n't think [you]1465-monsieur are ; but [you]1465-monsieur have made a great mistake in life , that [I]0-i believe ; [I]0-i think [your]1465-monsieur judgment is warped - that [you]1465-monsieur are indifferent where [you]1465-monsieur ought to be grateful - and perhaps devoted and infatuated , where [you]1465-monsieur ought to be cool as [your]1465-monsieur name . Do n't suppose that [I]0-i wish [you]1465-monsieur to have a passion for [me]0-i , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle ; [Dieu vous en garde]3208-dieu vous en garde ! What do [you]1465-monsieur start for ? Because [I]0-i said passion ? Well , [I]0-i say it again . There is such a word , and there is such a thing - though not within these walls , thank heaven ! [You]1465-monsieur are [no child]3209-no child that [one]607-one should not speak of what exists ; but [I]0-i only uttered the word - the thing , [I]0-i assure [you]1465-monsieur , is alien to [my]0-i whole life and views . [It]3211-it died in the past - in the present it lies buried - [its]3211-it grave is deep - dug , well - heaped , and many winters old : in the future there will be a resurrection , as [I]0-i believe to [my]0-i souls consolation ; but all will then be changed - form and feeling : [the mortal]3212-the mortal will have put on immortality - it will rise , not for earth , but heaven . All [I]0-i say to [you]1465-monsieur , [Miss Lucy Snowe]142-lucy , is - that [you]1465-monsieur ought to treat [Professor Paul Emanuel]303-professor emanuel decently . " [I]0-i could not , and did not contradict such a sentiment . "[0-i] Tell [me]0-i , " [he]0-i pursued , "[0-i] when it is [your]1465-monsieur fete - day , and [I]0-i will not grudge a few centimes for a small offering . " "[0-i] [You]1465-monsieur will be like [me]0-i , [Monsieur]3213-monsieur : this cost more than a few centimes , and [I]0-i did not grudge its price . " And taking from the open desk the little box , [I]0-i put it into [his]0-i hand . "[0-i] It lay ready in [my]0-i lap this morning , " [I]0-i continued ; "[0-i] and if [Monsieur]3214-monsieur had been rather more patient , and [Mademoiselle St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle less interfering - perhaps [I]0-i should say , too , if [I]0-i had been calmer and wiser - [I]0-i should have given it then . " [He]0-i looked at the box : [I]0-i saw its clear warm tint and bright azure circlet , pleased [his]0-i eyes . [I]0-i told [him]0-i to open it . "[0-i] [My]0-i initials ! " said [he]0-i , indicating the letters in the lid . "[0-i] Who told [you]1465-monsieur [I]0-i was called [Carl David]395-paul carl ? " "[395-paul carl] A little bird , [Monsieur]3215-monsieur . " "[3215-monsieur] Does it fly from [me]0-i to [you]3215-monsieur ? Then [one]607-one can tie a message under its wing when needful . " , [He]0-i took out the chain - a trifle indeed as to value , but glossy with silk and sparkling with beads . [He]0-i liked that too - admired it artlessly , like [a child]4415-a child . "[3215-monsieur] For [me]0-i ? " "[3215-monsieur] Yes , for [you]3215-monsieur . " "[3215-monsieur] This is the thing [you]0-i were working at last night ? " "[0-i] The same . " "[0-i] [You]0-i finished it this morning ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i did . " "[0-i] [You]0-i commenced it with the intention that it should be [mine]0-i ? " "[0-i] Undoubtedly . " "[0-i] And offered on [my]0-i fete - day ? " "[0-i] Yes . " "[0-i] This purpose continued as [you]0-i wove it ? " Again [I]0-i assented . "[0-i] Then it is not necessary that [I]0-i should cut out any portion - saying , this part is not mine : it was plaited under the idea and for the adornment of another ? " "[0-i] By no means . It is neither necessary , nor would it be just . " "[0-i] This object is all mine ? " "[0-i] That object is [yours]3217-yours entirely . " [Straightway Monsieur]396-straightway monsieur opened [his]0-i paletot , arranged the guard splendidly across [his]0-i chest , displaying as much and suppressing as little as [he]0-i could : for [he]0-i had no notion of concealing what [he]0-i admired and thought decorative . As to the box , [he]0-i pronounced it a superb bonbonniere - [he]0-i was fond of [bonbons]6736-bonbons , by the way - and as [he]0-i always liked to share with [others]770-others what pleased [himself]0-i , [he]0-i would give [his]0-i "[0-i] dragees " as freely as [he]0-i lent [his]0-i books . Amongst [the kind brownie]6738-the kind brownie 's gifts left in [my]0-i desk , [I]0-i forgot to enumerate many a paper of chocolate comfits . [His]0-i tastes in these matters were southern , and what [we]6739-we think infantine . [His]0-i simple lunch consisted frequently of a "[0-i] brioche , " which , as often as not , to shared with [some child of the third division]6740-some child of the third division . "[0-i] A present c'est un fait accompli , " said [he]0-i , re - adjusting [his]0-i paletot ; and [we]6739-we had no more words on the subject . After looking over the two volumes [he]0-i had brought , and cutting away some pages with [his]0-i penknife [he]0-i generally pruned before lending [his]0-i books , especially if they were novels , and sometimes [I]3218-i was a little provoked at the severity of [his]0-i censorship , the retrenchments interrupting the narrative , [he]0-i rose , politely touched [his]0-i bonnet - grec , and bade [me]3218-i a civil good - day . "[3218-i] [We]3218-i are [friends]533-friends now , " thought [I]533-friends , "[533-friends] till the next time [we]3218-i quarrel . " [We]3218-i might have quarrelled again that very same evening , but , wonderful to relate , failed , for once , to make the most of [our]3218-i opportunity . Contrary to all expectation , [M. Paul]196-m. paul arrived at the study - hour . Having seen so much of [him]0-i in the morning , [we]6739-we did not look for [his]0-i presence at night . No sooner were [we]6739-we seated at lessons , however , than [he]0-i appeared . [I]533-friends own [I]533-friends was glad to see [him]0-i , so glad that [I]533-friends could not help greeting [his]0-i arrival with a smile ; and when [he]0-i made [his]0-i way to the same seat about which so serious a misunderstanding had formerly arisen , [I]533-friends took good care not to make too much room for [him]0-i ; [he]0-i watched with a jealous , side - long look , to see whether [I]533-friends shrank away , but [I]533-friends did not , though the bench was a little crowded . [I]533-friends was losing the early impulse to recoil from [M. Paul]196-m. paul . Habituated to the paletot and bonnet- grec , the neighbourhood of these garments seemed no longer uncomfortable or very formidable . [I]533-friends did not now sit restrained , "[533-friends] asphyxiee " as [he]0-i used to say at [his]0-i side ; [I]3218-i stirred when [I]3218-i wished to stir , coughed when it was necessary , even yawned when [I]3218-i was tired - did , in short , what [I]3218-i pleased , blindly reliant upon [his]0-i indulgence . Nor did [my]3218-i temerity , this evening at least , meet the punishment it perhaps merited ; [he]0-i was both indulgent and good - natured ; not a cross glance shot from [his]0-i eyes , not a hasty word left [his]0-i lips . Till the very close of the evening , [he]0-i did not indeed address [me]3218-i at all , yet [I]3218-i felt , somehow , that [he]0-i was full of friendliness . Silence is of different kinds , and breathes different meanings ; no words could inspire a pleasanter content than did [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's worldless presence . When the tray came in , and the bustle of supper commenced , [he]0-i just said , as [he]0-i retired , that [he]0-i wished [me]3218-i a good night and sweet dreams ; and a good night and sweet dreams [I]3218-i had . CHAPTER XXX . [M. PAUL]196-m. paul . Yet [the reader]759-the reader is advised not to be in any hurry with [his]0-i kindly conclusions , or to suppose , with an over - hasty charity , that from that day [M. Paul]196-m. paul became a changed character - easy to live with , and no longer apt to flash danger and discomfort round [him]0-i . No ; [he]0-i was naturally [a little man of unreasonable moods]6742-a little man of unreasonable moods . When over- wrought , which [he]0-i often was , [he]0-i became acutely irritable ; and , besides , [his]0-i veins were dark with a livid belladonna tincture , the essence of jealousy . [I]3218-i do not mean merely the tender jealousy of the heart , but that sterner , narrower sentiment whose seat is in the head . [I]3218-i used to think , as [I]3218-i Sat looking at [M. Paul]196-m. paul , while [he]0-i was knitting [his]0-i brow or protruding [his]0-i lip over some exercise of [mine]3218-i , which had not as many faults as [he]0-i wished for [he]0-i liked [me]3218-i to commit faults : a knot of blunders was sweet to [him]0-i as a cluster of nuts , that [he]0-i had points of resemblance to [Napoleon Bonaparte]397-napoleon bonaparte . [I]3218-i think so still . In a shameless disregard of magnanimity , [he]0-i resembled [the great Emperor]6743-the great emperor . [M. Paul]196-m. paul would have quarrelled with [twenty learned women]6744-twenty learned women , would have unblushingly carried on a system of petty bickering and recrimination with [a whole capital of [coteries]6746-coteries]6745-a whole capital of coteries , never troubling [himself]0-i about loss or lack of dignity . [He]0-i would have exiled fifty [Madame de Staels]398-madame de staels , if , [they]6744-twenty learned women had annoyed , offended , outrivalled , or opposed [him]0-i . [I]3218-i well remember a hot episode of [his]0-i with [a certain [Madame Panache]399-madame panache]6747-a certain madame panache - [a lady temporarily employed by [Madame Beck]190-madame]6748-a lady temporarily employed by madame beck to give lessons in history . [She]399-madame panache was clever - that is , [she]399-madame panache knew a good deal ; and , besides , thoroughly possessed the art of making the most of what [she]399-madame panache knew ; of words and confidence [she]399-madame panache held unlimited command . [Her]399-madame panache personal appearance was far from destitute of advantages ; [I]3218-i believe [many people]844-many people would have pronounced [her]399-madame panache "[3218-i] [a fine woman]3220-a fine woman ; " and yet there were points in [her]399-madame panache robust and ample attractions , as well as in [her]399-madame panache bustling and demonstrative presence , which , it appeared , the nice and capricious tastes of [M. Paul]196-m. paul could not away with . The sound of [her]399-madame panache voice , echoing through [the carre]4820-the carre , would put [him]0-i into a strange taking ; [her]399-madame panache long free step - almost stride - along [the corridor]1349-the corridor , would often make [him]0-i snatch up [his]0-i papers and decamp on the instant . With malicious intent [he]0-i bethought [himself]0-i , one day , to intrude on [her]399-madame panache class ; as quick as lightning [he]0-i gathered [her]399-madame panache method of instruction ; it differed from a pet plan of [his]0-i own . With little ceremony , and less courtesy , [he]0-i pointed out what [he]0-i termed [her]399-madame panache errors . Whether [he]0-i expected submission and attention , [I]3218-i know not ; [he]0-i met an acrid opposition , accompanied by a round reprimand for [his]0-i certainly unjustifiable interference . Instead of withdrawing with dignity , as [he]0-i might still have done , [he]0-i threw down the gauntlet of defiance . [Madame Panache]399-madame panache , bellicose as a Penthesilea , picked it up in a minute . [She]399-madame panache snapped [her]399-madame panache fingers in [the intermeddler]6752-the intermeddler 's face ; [she]399-madame panache rushed upon [him]0-i with a storm of words . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul was eloquent ; but [Madame Panache]399-madame panache was voluble . A system of fierce antagonism ensued . Instead of laughing in [his]0-i sleeve at [[his]0-i fair foe]6753-his fair foe , with all [her]399-madame panache sore amour - propre and loud self - assertion , [M. Paul]196-m. paul detested [her]399-madame panache with intense seriousness ; [he]0-i honoured [her]399-madame panache with [his]0-i earnest fury ; [he]0-i pursued [her]399-madame panache vindictively and implacably , refusing to rest peaceably in [his]0-i bed , to derive due benefit from [his]0-i meals , or even serenely to relish [his]0-i cigar , till [she]399-madame panache was fairly rooted out of the establishment . [The Professor]2055-the professor conquered , but [I]3218-i can not say that the laurels of this victory shadowed gracefully [his]0-i temples . Once [I]3218-i ventured to hint as much . To [my]3218-i great surprise [he]0-i allowed that [I]3218-i might be right , but averred that when brought into contact with either [men]4397-men or [women of the coarse , self - complacent quality]6756-women of the coarse , self - complacent quality , whereof [Madame Panache]399-madame panache was [a specimen]6757-a specimen , [he]0-i had no control over [his]0-i own passions ; an unspeakable and active aversion impelled [him]0-i to a war of extermination . Three months afterwards , hearing that [[his]0-i vanquished foe]6758-his vanquished foe had met with reverses , and was likely to be really distressed for want of employment , [he]0-i forgot [his]0-i hatred , and alike active in good and evil , [he]0-i moved [heaven]1614-heaven and [earth]4454-earth till [he]0-i found [her]6758-his vanquished foe a place . Upon [her]6758-his vanquished foe coming to make up former differences , and thank [him]0-i for [his]0-i recent kindness , the old voice - a little loud - the old manner - a little forward - so acted upon [him]0-i that in ten minutes [he]0-i started up and bowed [her]6758-his vanquished foe , or rather [himself]0-i , out of [the room]600-the room , in a transport of nervous irritation . To pursue a somewhat audacious parallel , in a love of power , in an eager grasp after supremacy , [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul was like [Bonaparte]397-napoleon bonaparte . [He]0-i was [a man not always to be submitted to]6762-a man not always to be submitted to . Sometimes it was needful to resist ; it was right to stand still , to look up into [his]0-i eyes and tell [him]0-i that [his]0-i requirements went beyond reason - that [his]0-i absolutism verged on tyranny . The dawnings , the first developments of peculiar talent appearing within [his]0-i range , and under [his]0-i rule , curiously excited , even disturbed [him]0-i . [He]0-i watched its struggle into life with a scowl ; [he]0-i held back [his]0-i hand - perhaps said , "[3218-i] Come on if [you]3221-you have strength , " but would not aid the birth . When the pang and peril of the first conflict were over , when the breath of life was drawn , when [he]0-i saw the lungs expand and contract , when [he]0-i felt the heart beat and discovered life in the eye , [he]0-i did not yet offer to foster . "[3221-you] Prove [yourself]3221-you true ere [I]0-i cherish [you]3221-you , " was [his]0-i ordinance ; and how difficult [he]0-i made that proof ! What thorns and briers , what flints , [he]0-i strewed in the path of feet not inured to rough travel ! [He]0-i watched tearlessly - ordeals that [he]0-i exacted should be passed through - fearlessly . [He]0-i followed footprints that , as they approached the bourne , were sometimes marked in blood - followed [them]6763-them grimly , holding [the austerest police - watch over the pain - pressed pilgrim]6764-the austerest police - watch over the pain - pressed pilgrim . And when at last [he]0-i allowed a rest , before slumber might close the eyelids , [he]0-i opened those same lids wide , with pitiless finger and thumb , and gazed deep through the pupil and the irids into the brain , into the heart , to search if Vanity , or Pride , or Falsehood , in any of its subtlest forms , was discoverable in the furthest recess of existence . If , at last , [he]0-i let the neophyte sleep , it was but a moment ; [he]0-i woke [him]0-i suddenly up to apply new tests : [he]0-i sent [him]0-i on irksome errands when [he]0-i was staggering with weariness ; [he]0-i tried the temper , the sense , and the health ; and it was only when every severest test had been applied and endured , when the most corrosive aquafortis had been used , and failed to tarnish the ore , that [he]0-i admitted it genuine , and , still in clouded silence , stamped it with [his]0-i deep brand of approval . [I]0-i speak not ignorant of these evils . Till the date at which the last chapter closes , [M. Paul]196-m. paul had not been [[my]0-i professor]6765-my professor - [he]0-i had not given [me]0-i lessons , but about that time , accidentally hearing [me]0-i one day acknowledge an ignorance of some branch of education [I]0-i think it was arithmetic , which would have disgraced [a charity - school boy]6766-a charity - school boy , as [he]0-i very truly remarked , [he]0-i took [me]0-i in hand , examined [me]0-i first , found [me]0-i , [I]0-i need not say , abundantly deficient , gave [me]0-i some books and appointed [me]0-i some tasks . [He]0-i did this at first with pleasure , indeed with unconcealed exultation , condescending to say that [he]0-i believed [I]0-i was "[0-i] bonne et pas trop faible " [i.e.]0-i well enough disposed , and not wholly destitute of parts , but , owing [he]0-i supposed to adverse circumstances , "[0-i] as yet in a state of wretchedly imperfect mental development . " The beginning of all effort has indeed with [me]0-i been marked by a preternatural imbecility . [I]0-i never could , even in forming a common acquaintance , assert or prove a claim to average quickness . A depressing and difficult passage has prefaced every new page [I]0-i have turned in life . So long as this passage lasted , [M. Paul]196-m. paul was very kind , very good , very forbearing ; [he]0-i saw the sharp pain inflicted , and felt the weighty humiliation imposed by [my]0-i own sense of incapacity ; and words can hardly do justice to [his]0-i tenderness and helpfulness . [His]0-i own eyes would moisten , when tears of shame and effort clouded [mine]0-i ; burdened as [he]0-i was with work , [he]0-i would steal half [his]0-i brief space of recreation to give to [me]0-i . But , strange grief ! when that heavy and overcast dawn began at last to yield to day ; when [my]0-i faculties began to struggle themselves , free , and [my]0-i time of energy and fulfilment came ; when [I]0-i voluntarily doubled , trebled , quadrupled the tasks [he]0-i set , to please [him]0-i as [I]0-i thought , [his]0-i kindness became sternness ; the light changed in [his]0-i eyes from a beam to a spark ; [he]0-i fretted , [he]0-i opposed , [he]0-i curbed [me]0-i imperiously ; the more [I]0-i did , the harder [I]0-i worked , the less [he]0-i seemed content . Sarcasms of which the severity amazed and puzzled [me]0-i , harassed [my]0-i ears ; then flowed out the bitterest inuendoes against the "[0-i] pride of intellect . " [I]0-i was vaguely threatened with [I]0-i know not what doom , if [I]0-i ever trespassed the limits proper to [my]0-i sex , and conceived a contraband appetite for unfeminine knowledge . Alas ! [I]0-i had no such appetite . What [I]0-i loved , it joyed [me]0-i by any effort to content ; but the noble hunger for science in the abstract - the godlike thirst after discovery - these feelings were known to [me]0-i but by briefest flashes . Yet , when [M. Paul]196-m. paul sneered at [me]0-i , [I]0-i wanted to possess them more fully ; [his]0-i injustice stirred in [me]0-i ambitious wishes - it imparted a strong stimulus - it gave wings to aspiration . In the beginning , before [I]0-i had penetrated to motives , that uncomprehended sneer of [his]0-i made [my]0-i heart ache , but by - and - by it only warmed the blood in [my]0-i veins , and sent added action to [my]0-i pulses . Whatever [my]0-i powers - feminine or the contrary - [God]164-god had given them , and [I]0-i felt resolute to be ashamed of no faculty of [his]0-i bestowal . The combat was very sharp for a time . [I]0-i seemed to have lost [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's affection ; [he]0-i treated [me]0-i strangely . In [his]0-i most unjust moments [he]0-i would insinuate that [I]0-i had deceived [him]0-i when [I]0-i appeared , what [he]0-i called "[0-i] faible " - that is incompetent ; [he]0-i said [I]0-i had feigned a false incapacity . Again , [he]0-i would turn suddenly round and accuse [me]0-i of the most far - fetched imitations and impossible plagiarisms , asserting that [I]0-i had extracted the pith out of books [I]0-i had not so much as heard of - and over the perusal of which [I]0-i should infallibly have fallen down in a sleep as deep as that of [Eutychus]400-eutychus . Once , upon [his]0-i preferring such an accusation , [I]0-i turned upon [him]0-i - [I]0-i rose against [him]0-i . Gathering an armful of [his]0-i books out of [my]0-i desk , [I]0-i filled [my]0-i apron and poured them in a heap upon [his]0-i estrade , at [his]0-i feet . "[0-i] Take them away , [M. Paul]196-m. paul , " [I]196-m. paul said , "[196-m. paul] and teach [me]0-i no more . [I]0-i never asked to be made learned , and [you]196-m. paul compel [me]0-i to feel very profoundly that learning is not happiness . " And returning to [my]196-m. paul desk , [I]196-m. paul laid [my]196-m. paul head on [my]196-m. paul arms , nor would [I]196-m. paul speak to [him]0-i for two days afterwards . [He]0-i pained and chagrined [me]196-m. paul . [His]0-i affection had been very sweet and dear - a pleasure new and incomparable : now that this seemed withdrawn , [I]196-m. paul cared not for [his]0-i lessons . The books , however , were not taken away ; they were all restored with careful hand to their places , and [he]0-i came as usual to teach [me]196-m. paul . [He]0-i made [his]0-i peace somehow - too readily , perhaps : [I]196-m. paul ought to have stood out longer , but when [he]0-i looked kind and good , and held out [his]0-i hand with amity , memory refused to reproduce with due force [his]0-i oppressive moments . And then , reconcilement is always sweet ! On a certain morning a message came from [[my]196-m. paul godmother]506-my godmother , inviting [me]196-m. paul to attend some notable lecture to be delivered in [the same public rooms]6768-the same public rooms before described . [Dr. John]135-graham had brought the message [himself]135-graham , and delivered it verbally to [Rosine]203-rosine , who had not scrupled to follow the steps of [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , then passing to [the first classe]1533-the first classe , and , in [his]0-i presence , stand "[196-m. paul] carrement " before [my]196-m. paul desk , hand in apron - pocket , and rehearse the same , saucily and aloud , concluding with the words , "[196-m. paul] Qu'il est vraiment beau , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , ce jeune docteur ! Quels yeux - quel regard ! Tenez ! J'en ai le coeur tout emu ! " When [she]506-my godmother was gone , [[my]0-i professor]6765-my professor demanded of [me]0-i why [I]0-i suffered "[0-i] cette fille effrontee , cette creature sans pudeur , " to address [me]0-i in such terms . [I]0-i had no pacifying answer to give . The terms were precisely such as [Rosine]203-rosine - [a young lady in whose skull the organs of reverence and reserve were not largely developed]6771-a young lady in whose skull the organs of reverence and reserve were not largely developed - was in the constant habit of using . Besides , what [she]203-rosine said about [the young doctor]1271-the young doctor was true enough . [Graham]135-graham was handsome ; [he]135-graham had fine eyes and a thrilling : glance . An observation to that effect actually formed itself into sound on [my]0-i lips . "[0-i] Elle ne dit que la verite , " [I]0-i said . "[0-i] Ah ! vous trouvez ? " "[196-m. paul] Mais , sans doute . " The lesson to which [we]6773-we had that day to submit was such as to make [us]6773-we very glad when it terminated . At its close , [the released , pupils]6774-the released , pupils rushed out , half - trembling , half - exultant . [I]0-i , too , was going . A mandate to remain arrested [me]0-i . [I]0-i muttered that [I]0-i wanted some fresh air sadly - the stove was in a glow , the classe over - heated . An inexorable voice merely recommended silence ; and [this salamander]6775-this salamander - for whom no room ever seemed too hot - sitting down between [my]0-i desk and the stove - a situation in which [he]1271-the young doctor ought to have felt broiled , but did not - proceeded to confront [me]0-i with - a Greek quotation ! In [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's soul rankled a chronic suspicion that [I]0-i knew both Greek and Latin . As [monkeys]6776-monkeys are said to have the power of speech if [they]6776-monkeys would but use it , and are reported to conceal [this faculty]6777-this faculty in fear of its being turned to [their]6776-monkeys detriment , so to [me]0-i was ascribed a fund of knowledge which [I]0-i was supposed criminally and craftily to conceal . The privileges of a "[0-i] classical education , " it was insinuated , had been [mine]0-i ; on flowers of Hymettus [I]0-i had revelled ; [a golden store]6778-a golden store , hived in memory , now silently sustained [my]0-i efforts , and privily nurtured [my]0-i wits . A hundred expedients did [M. Paul]196-m. paul employ to surprise [my]0-i secret - to wheedle , to threaten , to startle it out of [me]0-i . Sometimes [he]1271-the young doctor placed Greek and Latin books in [my]0-i way , and then watched [me]0-i , as [[Joan of Arc]401-joan of arc 's jailors]6779-joan of arc 's jailors tempted [her]401-joan of arc with [the warrior]6780-the warrior 's accoutrements , and lay in wait for the issue . Again [he]1271-the young doctor quoted [I]0-i know not what authors and passages , and while rolling out their sweet and sounding lines the classic tones fell musically from [his]1271-the young doctor lips - for [he]1271-the young doctor had a good voice - remarkable for compass , modulation , and matchless expression , [he]1271-the young doctor would fix on [me]0-i a vigilant , piercing , and often malicious eye . It was evident [he]1271-the young doctor sometimes expected great demonstrations ; they never occurred , however ; not comprehending , of course [I]0-i could neither be charmed nor annoyed . [Baffled]402-baffled - almost angry - [he]1271-the young doctor still clung to [his]1271-the young doctor fixed idea ; [my]0-i susceptibilities were pronounced marble - [my]0-i face a mask . It appeared as if [he]1271-the young doctor could not be brought to accept the homely truth , and take [me]0-i for what [I]0-i was : [men]4397-men , and [women]4398-women too , must have delusion of some sort ; if not made ready to [their]4397-men hand , [they]4397-men will invent exaggeration for [themselves]4397-men . At moments [I]0-i did wish that [his]1271-the young doctor suspicions had been better founded . There were times when [I]0-i would have given [my]0-i right hand to possess the treasures [he]1271-the young doctor ascribed to [me]0-i . [He]1271-the young doctor deserved condign punishment for [his]1271-the young doctor testy crotchets . [I]0-i could have gloried in bringing [home]542-home to [him]1271-the young doctor [his]1271-the young doctor worst apprehensions astoundingly realized . [I]0-i could have exulted to burst on [his]1271-the young doctor vision , confront and confound [his]1271-the young doctor "[0-i] lunettes , " one blaze of acquirements . Oh ! why did [nobody]4256-nobody undertake to make [me]3222-women of intellect clever while [I]3222-women of intellect was young enough to learn , that [I]3222-women of intellect might , by one grand , sudden , inhuman revelation - one cold , cruel , overwhelming triumph - have for ever crushed the mocking spirit out of [Paul Carl David Emanuel]395-paul carl ! Alas ! no such feat was in [my]3222-women of intellect power . To - day , as usual , [his]1271-the young doctor quotations fell ineffectual : [he]1271-the young doctor soon shifted [his]1271-the young doctor ground . "[3222-women of intellect] [Women of intellect]3222-women of intellect " was [his]1271-the young doctor next theme : here [he]1271-the young doctor was at [home]542-home . [A "[0-i] woman of intellect]6786-a " woman of intellect , " it appeared , was a sort of "[0-i] lusus naturae , " a luckless accident , a thing for which there was neither place nor use in creation , wanted neither as [wife]6787-wife nor [worker]6788-worker . [Beauty]403-beauty anticipated [her]6786-a " woman of intellect in the first office . [He]1271-the young doctor believed in [his]1271-the young doctor soul that lovely , placid , and passive feminine mediocrity was the only pillow on which manly thought and sense could find rest for its aching temples ; and as to work , [male mind]6789-male mind alone could work to any good practical result - hein ? This "[0-i] hein ? " was a note of interrogation intended to draw from [me]0-i contradiction or objection . However , [I]0-i only said - "[0-i] Cela ne [me]0-i regarde pas : [je]0-i ne m'en soucie pas ; " and presently added - "[0-i] May [I]0-i go , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur ? [They]3224-they have rung the bell for the second dejeuner " i.e. luncheon . "[0-i] What of that ? [You]1465-monsieur are not hungry ? " "[1465-monsieur] Indeed [I]0-i was , " [I]0-i said ; "[0-i] [I]0-i had had nothing since breakfast , at seven , and should have nothing till dinner , at five , if [I]0-i missed this bell . " "[3225-he] Well , [he]3225-he was in the same plight , but [I]0-i might share with [him]3225-he . " And [he]1271-the young doctor broke in two the "[3225-he] brioche " intended for [his]1271-the young doctor own refreshment , and gave [me]922-an ignoramus half . Truly [his]1271-the young doctor bark was worse than [his]1271-the young doctor bite ; but the really formidable attack was yet to come . While eating [his]1271-the young doctor cake , [I]922-an ignoramus could not forbear expressing [my]922-an ignoramus secret wish that [I]922-an ignoramus really knew all of which [he]1271-the young doctor accused [me]922-an ignoramus . "[922-an ignoramus] Did [I]0-i sincerely feel [myself]0-i to be [an ignoramus]922-an ignoramus ? " [he]1271-the young doctor asked , in a softened tone . If [I]922-an ignoramus had replied meekly by an unqualified affirmative , [I]922-an ignoramus believe [he]1271-the young doctor would have stretched out [his]1271-the young doctor hand , and [we]6790-we should have been [friends on the spot]6791-friends on the spot , but [I]922-an ignoramus answered - "[922-an ignoramus] Not exactly . [I]0-i am ignorant , [Monsieur]3227-monsieur , in the knowledge [you]3227-monsieur ascribe to [me]0-i , but [I]0-i sometimes , not always , feel a knowledge of [my]0-i own . " "[0-i] What did [I]0-i mean ? " [he]1271-the young doctor inquired , sharply . Unable to answer this question in a breath , [I]0-i evaded it by change of subject . [He]1271-the young doctor had now finished [his]1271-the young doctor half of the brioche feeling sure that on so trifling a fragment [he]1271-the young doctor could not have satisfied [his]1271-the young doctor appetite , as indeed [I]0-i had not appeased mine , and inhaling the fragrance of baked apples afar from [the refectory]5110-the refectory , [I]0-i ventured to inquire whether [he]1271-the young doctor did not also perceive that agreeable odour . [He]1271-the young doctor confessed that [he]1271-the young doctor did . [I]0-i said if [he]1271-the young doctor would let [me]0-i out by [the garden]1165-the garden - door , and permit [me]0-i just to run across [the court]1612-the court , [I]0-i would fetch [him]1271-the young doctor a plateful ; and added that [I]0-i believed they were excellent , as [Goton]276-goton had a very good method of baking , or rather stewing fruit , putting in a little spice , sugar , and a glass or two of vin blanc - might [I]0-i go ? "[0-i] Petite gourmande ! " said [he]1271-the young doctor , smiling , "[0-i] [I]0-i have not forgotten how pleased [you]3228-you were with the pate a la creme [I]0-i once gave [you]3228-you , and [you]3228-you know very well , at this moment , that to fetch the apples for [me]0-i will be the same as getting them for [yourself]3228-you . Go , then , but come back quickly . " And at last [he]1271-the young doctor liberated [me]0-i on parole . [My]0-i own plan was to go and return with speed and good faith , to put the plate in at the door , and then to vanish incontinent , leaving all consequences for future settlement . That intolerably keen instinct of [his]1271-the young doctor seemed to have anticipated [my]0-i scheme : [he]1271-the young doctor met [me]0-i at the threshold , hurried [me]0-i into [the room]600-the room , and fixed [me]0-i in a minute in [my]0-i former seat . Taking the plate of fruit from [my]0-i hand , [he]1271-the young doctor divided the portion intended only for [himself]1271-the young doctor , and ordered [me]0-i to eat [my]0-i share . [I]0-i complied with no good grace , and vexed , [I]0-i suppose , by [my]0-i reluctance , [he]1271-the young doctor opened a masked and dangerous battery . All [he]1271-the young doctor had yet said , [I]0-i could count as mere sound and fury , signifying nothing : not so of the present attack . It consisted in an unreasonable proposition with which [he]1271-the young doctor had before afflicted [me]0-i : namely , that on the next public examination - day [I]0-i should engage - foreigner as [I]0-i was - to take [my]0-i place on the first form of [first - class pupils]6796-first - class pupils , and with [them]6796-first - class pupils improvise a composition in French , on any subject [any spectator]6797-any spectator might dictate , without benefit of grammar or lexicon . [I]0-i knew what the result of such an experiment would be . [I]0-i , to whom nature had denied the impromptu faculty ; who , in public , was by nature [a cypher ; whose time of mental activity , even when alone , was not under the meridian sun]6798-a cypher ; whose time of mental activity , even when alone , was not under the meridian sun ; who needed the fresh silence of morning , or the recluse peace of evening , to win from the Creative Impulse one evidence of [his]1271-the young doctor presence , one proof of [his]1271-the young doctor force ; [I]0-i , with whom that Impulse was the most intractable , the most capricious , the most maddening of masters [him]1271-the young doctor before [me]0-i always excepted - [a deity which sometimes , under circumstances - apparently propitious , would not speak when questioned , would not hear when appealed to , would not , when sought , be found]6799-a deity which sometimes , under circumstances - apparently propitious , would not speak when questioned , would not hear when appealed to , would not , when sought , be found ; but would stand , all cold , all indurated , all granite , [a dark Baal with carven lips and blank eye - balls , and breast like the stone face of a tomb]6800-a dark baal with carven lips and blank eye - balls , and breast like the stone face of a tomb ; and again , suddenly , at some turn , some sound , some long - trembling sob of the wind , at some rushing past of an unseen stream of electricity , [the irrational demon]6801-the irrational demon would wake unsolicited , would stir strangely alive , would rush from its pedestal like a perturbed Dagon , calling to its votary for a sacrifice , whatever the hour - to [its]6801-the irrational demon victim for some blood , or some breath , whatever the circumstance or scene - rousing [its]6801-the irrational demon priest , treacherously promising vaticination , perhaps filling [its]6801-the irrational demon temple with a strange hum of oracles , but sure to give half the significance to fateful winds , and grudging to the desperate listener even a miserable remnant - yielding it sordidly , as though each word had been a drop of the deathless ichor of its own dark veins . And this tyrant [I]0-i was to compel into bondage , and make [it]6802-it improvise a theme , on a school estrade , between [a Mathilde]5251-a mathilde and [a Coralie]6804-a coralie , under the eye of [a Madame Beck]190-madame , for the pleasure , and to the inspiration of [a bourgeois of [Labassecour]48-labassecour]6805-a bourgeois of labassecour ! Upon this argument [M. Paul]196-m. paul and [I]0-i did battle more than once - strong battle , with confused noise of demand and rejection , exaction and repulse . On this particular day [I]0-i was soundly rated . "[0-i] The obstinacy of [my]0-i whole sex , " it seems , was concentrated in [me]0-i ; [I]0-i had an "[0-i] orgueil de diable . " [I]0-i feared to fail , forsooth ! What did it matter whether [I]0-i failed or not ? Who was [I]0-i that [I]0-i should not fail , like [my]0-i betters ? It would do [me]0-i good to fail . [He]0-i wanted to see [me]0-i worsted [I]0-i knew [he]0-i did , and one minute [he]0-i paused to take breath . "[0-i] Would [I]0-i speak now , and be tractable ? " "[0-i] Never would [I]0-i be tractable in this matter . Law itself should not compel [me]0-i . [I]0-i would pay a fine , or undergo an imprisonment , rather than write for a show and to order , perched up on [a platform]3229-a platform . " "[0-i] Could softer motives influence [me]0-i ? Would [I]0-i yield for friendship 's sake ? " "[0-i] Not a whit , not a hair - breadth . No form of friendship under the sun had a right to exact such a concession . No true friendship would harass [me]0-i thus . " [He]0-i supposed then with a sneer - [M. Paul]196-m. paul could sneer supremely , curling [his]0-i lip , opening [his]0-i nostrils , contracting [his]0-i eyelids - [he]0-i supposed there was but one form of appeal to which [I]0-i would listen , and of that form it was not for [him]0-i to make use . "[0-i] Under certain persuasions , from certain quarters , je vous vois d'ici , " said [he]0-i , "[0-i] eagerly subscribing to the sacrifice , passionately arming for the effort . " "[0-i] Making [a simpleton]3230-a simpleton , a warning , and an example of [myself]0-i , before a hundred and fifty of [the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of Villette]3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette . " And here , losing patience , [I]3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette broke out afresh with a cry that [I]3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette wanted to be liberated - to get out into the air - [I]3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette was almost in a fever . "[3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette] Chut ! " said the inexorable , "[3231-the ' papas ' and ' mammas ' of villette] this was a mere pretext to run away ; [he]3232-i was not hot , with the stove close at [his]3232-i back ; how could [I]0-i suffer , thoroughly screened by [[his]3232-i person]6623-his person ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i did not understand [his]3232-i constitution . [I]0-i knew nothing of the natural history of [salamanders]3234-salamanders . For [my]0-i own part , [I]0-i was [a phlegmatic islander]3235-a phlegmatic islander , and sitting in [an oven]3236-an oven did not agree with [me]0-i ; at least , might [I]0-i step to the well , and get a glass of water - the sweet apples had made [me]0-i thirsty ? " "[3232-i] If that was all , [he]3232-i would do [my]0-i errand . " [He]3232-i went to fetch the water . Of course , with a door only on the latch behind [me]3232-i , [I]3232-i lost not [my]3232-i opportunity . Ere [his]3232-i return , [his]3232-i half - worried prey had escaped . CHAPTER XXXI . [THE DRYAD]6806-the dryad . The spring was advancing , and the weather had turned suddenly warm . This change of temperature brought with it for [me]3232-i , as probably for many others , temporary decrease of strength . Slight exertion at this time left [me]3232-i overcome with fatigue - sleepless nights entailed languid days . One Sunday afternoon , having walked the distance of half a league to [the Protestant church]6807-the protestant church , [I]3232-i came back weary and exhausted ; and taking refuge in [[my]3232-i solitary sanctuary]6808-my solitary sanctuary , the first classe , [I]3232-i was glad to sit down , and to make of [my]3232-i desk a pillow for [my]3232-i arms and head . Awhile [I]3232-i listened to the lullaby of bees humming in the berceau , and watched , through the glass door and the tender , lightly - strewn spring foliage , [Madame Beck]190-madame and [a gay party of [friends]533-friends]6809-a gay party of friends , whom [she]190-madame had entertained that day at dinner after morning mass , walking in the centre - alley under orchard boughs dressed at this season in blossom , and wearing a colouring as pure and warm as mountain - snow at sun - rise . [My]3232-i principal attraction towards [this group of guests]6811-this group of guests lay , [I]3232-i remember , in one figure - that of [a handsome young girl whom [I]3232-i had seen before as a visitor at [Madame Beck 's]190-madame]6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's , and of whom [I]3232-i had been vaguely told that [she]6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's was a "[3232-i] filleule , " or [god - daughter , of [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's , and that between [[her]6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's mother]550-her mother , or aunt , or [some other female relation of [hers]6812-a handsome young girl whom i had seen before as a visitor at madame beck 's]6815-some other female relation of hers , and [the Professor]2055-the professor]6813-god - daughter , of m. emanuel 's , and that between her mother , or aunt , or some other female relation of hers , and the professor , had existed of old a special friendship . [M. Paul]196-m. paul was not of [the holiday band]6817-the holiday band to - day , but [I]3232-i had seen [this young girl]6818-this young girl with [him]196-m. paul ere now , and as far as distant observation could enable [me]3232-i to judge , [she]6818-this young girl seemed to enjoy [him]196-m. paul with the frank ease of [a ward with [an indulgent guardian]6820-an indulgent guardian]6819-a ward with an indulgent guardian . [I]3232-i had seen [her]6818-this young girl run up to [him]196-m. paul , put [her]6818-this young girl arm through [his]196-m. paul , and hang upon [him]196-m. paul . Once , when [she]6818-this young girl did so , a curious sensation had struck through [me]3232-i - a disagreeable anticipatory sensation - one of the family of presentiments , [I]3232-i suppose - but [I]3232-i refused to analyze or dwell upon it . While watching [this girl]4869-this girl , [Mademoiselle Sauveur]404-mademoiselle sauveur by name , and following the gleam of [her]4869-this girl bright silk robe [she]4869-this girl was always richly dressed , for [she]4869-this girl was said to be wealthy through the flowers and the glancing leaves of tender emerald , [my]3232-i eyes became dazzled - they closed ; [my]3232-i lassitude , the warmth of the day , the hum of bees and birds , all lulled [me]3232-i , and at last [I]3232-i slept . Two hours stole over [me]3232-i . Ere [I]3232-i woke , the sun had declined out of sight behind [the towering houses]6822-the towering houses , [the garden]1165-the garden and [the room]600-the room were grey , bees had gone homeward , and the flowers were closing ; [the party of [guests]6826-guests]6825-the party of guests , too , had vanished ; [each alley]6827-each alley was void . On waking , [I]3232-i felt much at ease - not chill , as [I]3232-i ought to have been after sitting so still for at least two hours ; [my]3232-i cheek and arms were not benumbed by pressure against the hard desk . No wonder . Instead of the bare wood on which [I]3232-i had laid them , [I]3232-i found a thick shawl , carefully folded , substituted for support , and another shawl both taken from [the corridor]1349-the corridor where such things hung wrapped warmly round [me]3232-i . Who had done this ? Who was [[my]3232-i friend]801-my friend ? Which of [the teachers]4800-the teachers ? Which of [the pupils]1102-the pupils ? None , except [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , was inimical to [me]3232-i ; but which of [them]1102-the pupils had the art , the thought , the habit , of benefiting thus tenderly ? Which of [them]1102-the pupils had a step so quiet , a hand so gentle , but [I]3232-i should have heard or felt [her]801-my friend , if [she]801-my friend had approached or touched [me]3232-i in a day - sleep ? As to [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , [that bright young creature]6832-that bright young creature was not gentle at all , and would certainly have pulled [me]3232-i out of [my]3232-i chair , if [she]801-my friend had meddled in the matter . [I]3232-i said at last : "[3232-i] It is [Madame Beck]190-madame 's doing ; [she]190-madame has come in , seen [me]0-i asleep , and thought [I]0-i might take cold . [She]190-madame considers [me]0-i a useful machine , answering well the purpose for which it was hired ; so would not have [me]0-i needlessly injured . And now , " methought , "[0-i] [I]0-i 'll take a walk ; the evening is fresh , and not very chill . " So [I]190-madame opened the glass door and stepped into [the berceau]4908-the berceau . [I]190-madame went to [[my]190-madame own alley]6834-my own alley : had it been dark , or even dusk , [I]190-madame should have hardly ventured [there]512-there , for [I]190-madame had not yet forgotten the curious illusion of vision if illusion it were experienced in [that place]2360-that place some months ago . But a ray of the setting sun burnished still the grey crown of [Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste ; nor had all the birds of [the garden]1165-the garden yet vanished into their nests amongst the tufted shrubs and thick wall- ivy . [I]190-madame paced up and down , thinking almost the same thoughts [I]190-madame had pondered that night when [I]190-madame buried [my]190-madame glass jar - how [I]190-madame should make some advance in life , take another step towards an independent position ; for this train of reflection , though not lately pursued , had never by [me]190-madame been wholly abandoned ; and whenever a certain eye was averted from [me]190-madame , and a certain countenance grew dark with unkindness and injustice , into that track of speculation did [I]190-madame at once strike ; so that , little by little , [I]190-madame had laid half a plan . "[190-madame] Living costs little , " said [I]190-madame to [myself]190-madame , "[190-madame] in [this economical town of Villette]3237-this economical town of villette , where [people]531-people are more sensible than [I]0-i understand [they]531-people are in [dear old [England]19-england]3239-dear old england - infinitely less worried about appearance , and less emulous of display - where [nobody]4256-nobody is in the least ashamed to be quite as homely and saving as [he]4256-nobody finds convenient . [House]5530-house - rent , in a prudently chosen situation , need not be high . When [I]0-i shall have saved one thousand francs , [I]0-i will take [a tenement]3242-a tenement with [one large room]3243-one large room , and [two or three smaller ones]3244-two or three smaller ones , furnish the first with a few benches and desks , a black tableau , an estrade for [myself]0-i ; upon it a chair and table , with a sponge and some white chalks ; begin with taking [day- pupils]3245-day- pupils , and so work [my]0-i way upwards . [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's commencement]3246-madame beck 's commencement was - as [I]0-i have often heard [her]190-madame say - from no higher starting - point , and where is [she]190-madame now ? All [these premises]3247-these premises and [this garden]4983-this garden are [hers]190-madame , bought with [her]190-madame money ; [she]190-madame has a competency already secured for old age , and a flourishing establishment under [her]190-madame direction , which will furnish a career for [[her]190-madame children]5002-her children . " [Courage]405-courage , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy ! With self - denial and economy now , and steady exertion by - and - by , [an object in life]6838-an object in life need not fail [you]6839-you . Venture not to complain that such an object is too selfish , too limited , and lacks interest ; be content to labour for independence until [you]6839-you have proved , by winning that prize , [your]6839-you right to look higher . But afterwards , is there nothing more for [me]3251-i in life - no true home - nothing to be dearer to [me]3251-i than [myself]3251-i , and by its paramount preciousness , to draw from [me]3251-i better things than [I]3251-i care to culture for [myself]3251-i only ? Nothing , at whose feet [I]3251-i can willingly lay down the whole burden of human egotism , and gloriously take up the nobler charge of labouring and living for [others]770-others ? [I]3251-i suppose , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy , the orb of [your]6839-you life is not to be so rounded : for [you]6839-you , the crescent - phase must suffice . Very good . [I]3251-i see a huge mass of [my]3251-i fellow - creatures in no better circumstances . [I]3251-i see that [a great many men]6841-a great many men , and [more women]6842-more women , hold [their]6841-a great many men span of life on conditions of denial and privation . [I]3251-i find no reason why [I]3251-i should be of the few favoured . [I]3251-i believe in some blending of hope and sunshine sweetening the worst lots . [I]3251-i believe that this life is not all ; neither the beginning nor the end . [I]3251-i believe while [I]3251-i tremble ; [I]3251-i trust while [I]3251-i weep . "[3251-i] So this subject is done with . It is right to look [our]3250-our life - accounts bravely in the face now and then , and settle them honestly . And [he]3251-i is [a poor self - swindler who lies to [himself]3251-i while [he]3251-i reckons the items , and sets down under the head - happiness that which is misery]3252-a poor self - swindler who lies to himself while he reckons the items , and sets down under the head - happiness that which is misery . Call anguish - anguish , and despair - despair ; write both down in strong characters with a resolute pen : [you]3253-you will the better pay [your]3253-you debt to [Doom]406-doom . Falsify : insert " privilege "[3253-you] where [you]3253-you should have written " pain ; "[3253-you] and see if [[your]3253-you mighty creditor]3254-your mighty creditor will allow the fraud to pass , or accept the coin with which [you]3253-you would cheat [him]3254-your mighty creditor . Offer to [the strongest]3255-the strongest - if [the darkest angel of [God]164-god 's host]3256-the darkest angel of god 's host - water , when [he]3256-the darkest angel of god 's host has asked blood - will [he]3256-the darkest angel of god 's host take it ? Not a whole pale sea for one red drop . [I]0-i settled another account . Pausing before [Methusaleh]362-methusaleh - [the giant and patriarch of [the garden]1165-the garden]3257-the giant and patriarch of the garden - and leaning [my]0-i brow against [his]362-methusaleh knotty trunk , [my]0-i foot rested on the stone sealing the small sepulchre at [his]362-methusaleh root ; and [I]0-i recalled the passage of feeling therein buried ; [I]0-i recalled [Dr. John]135-graham ; [my]0-i warm affection for [him]135-graham ; [my]0-i faith in [his]135-graham excellence ; [my]0-i delight in [his]135-graham grace . What was become of that curious one - sided friendship which was half marble and half life ; only on one hand truth , and on the other perhaps a jest ? Was this feeling dead ? [I]0-i do not know , but it was buried . Sometimes [I]0-i thought [the tomb]3259-the tomb unquiet , and dreamed strangely of disturbed earth , and of hair , still golden , and living , obtruded through coffin - chinks . Had [I]0-i been too hasty ? [I]0-i used to ask [myself]0-i ; and this question would occur with a cruel sharpness after some brief chance interview with [Dr. John]135-graham . [He]135-graham had still such kind looks , such a warm hand ; [his]135-graham voice still kept so pleasant a tone for [my]0-i name ; [I]0-i never liked " [Lucy]142-lucy "[135-graham] so well as when [he]135-graham uttered it . But [I]0-i learned in time that this benignity , this cordiality , this music , belonged in no shape to [me]0-i : it was a part of [himself]135-graham ; it was the honey of [his]135-graham temper ; it was the balm of [his]135-graham mellow mood ; [he]135-graham imparted it , as the ripe fruit rewards with sweetness the rifling bee ; [he]135-graham diffused it about [him]135-graham , as sweet plants shed [their]3260-their perfume . Does the nectarine love either the bee or bird it feeds ? Is [the sweetbriar enamoured of the air]3261-the sweetbriar enamoured of the air ? " Good - night , [Dr. John]135-graham ; [you]135-graham are good , [you]135-graham are beautiful ; but [you]135-graham are not mine . Good - night , and God bless [you]135-graham ! "[3261-the sweetbriar enamoured of the air] Thus [I]0-i closed [my]0-i musings . " Good - night "[0-i] left [my]0-i lips in sound ; [I]0-i heard the words spoken , and then [I]0-i heard an echo - quite close . " Good - night , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle ; or , rather , good - evening - the sun is scarce set ; [I]0-i hope [you]135-graham slept well ? "[0-i] [I]0-i started , but was only discomposed a moment ; [I]0-i knew the voice and speaker . " Slept , [Monsieur]6843-monsieur ! When ? where ? "[0-i] " [You]135-graham may well inquire when - where . It seems [you]135-graham turn day into night , and choose a desk for a pillow ; rather hard lodging - ? "[0-i] " It was softened for [me]0-i , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , while [I]0-i slept . That unseen , gift- bringing thing which haunts [my]0-i desk , remembered [me]0-i . No matter how [I]0-i fell asleep ; [I]0-i awoke pillowed and covered . "[0-i] " Did the shawls keep [you]135-graham warm ? "[0-i] " Very warm . Do [you]135-graham ask thanks for [them]6845-them ? "[0-i] " No . [You]135-graham looked pale in [your]135-graham slumbers : are [you]135-graham [home]542-home - sick ? "[0-i] " To be [home]542-home - sick , [one]607-one must have [a home]6849-a home ; which [I]0-i have not . "[0-i] " Then [you]135-graham have more need of [a careful friend]6850-a careful friend . [I]0-i scarcely know [any one]1135-any one , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy , who needs [a friend]1797-a friend more absolutely than [you]135-graham ; [your]135-graham very faults imperatively require it . [You]135-graham want so much checking , regulating , and keeping down . "[0-i] This idea of " keeping down "[0-i] never left [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's head ; the most habitual subjugation would , in [my]0-i case , have failed to relieve [him]196-m. paul of it . No matter ; what did it signify ? [I]0-i listened to [him]196-m. paul , and did not trouble [myself]0-i to be too submissive ; [his]196-m. paul occupation would have been gone had [I]0-i left [him]196-m. paul nothing to " keep down . "[196-m. paul] " [You]135-graham need watching , and watching over , "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul pursued ; " and it is well for [you]135-graham that [I]196-m. paul see this , and do [my]196-m. paul best to discharge both duties . [I]196-m. paul watch [you]135-graham and [others]770-others pretty closely , pretty constantly , nearer and oftener than [you]135-graham or [they]770-others think . Do [you]135-graham see that window with a light in it ? "[196-m. paul] [He]196-m. paul pointed to a lattice in [one of [the college boarding - houses]3263-the college boarding - houses]3262-one of the college boarding - houses . " That , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul , " is [a room [I]196-m. paul have hired]6854-a room i have hired , nominally for a study - virtually for a post of observation . There [I]196-m. paul sit and read for hours together : it is [my]196-m. paul way - [my]196-m. paul taste . [My]196-m. paul book is [this garden]4983-this garden ; its contents are human nature - female human nature . [I]196-m. paul know [you]135-graham all by heart . Ah ! [I]196-m. paul know [you]135-graham well - [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , [the Parisienne]6502-the parisienne - cette maitresse - femme , [[my]196-m. paul cousin]6238-my cousin Beck [herself]6238-my cousin . "[196-m. paul] " It is not right , [Monsieur]6858-monsieur . "[196-m. paul] " Comment ? it is not right ? By whose creed ? Does some dogma of [Calvin]407-calvin or [Luther]408-luther condemn it ? What is that to [me]196-m. paul ? [I]196-m. paul am [no Protestant]6859-no protestant . [[My]196-m. paul rich father]6860-my rich father for , though [I]196-m. paul have known poverty , and once starved for a year in [a garret in [Rome]54-rome]6861-a garret in rome - starved wretchedly , often on a meal a day , and sometimes not that - yet [I]196-m. paul was born to wealth - [[my]196-m. paul rich father]6860-my rich father was [a good Catholic]6863-a good catholic ; and [he]6860-my rich father gave [me]196-m. paul [a priest]5700-a priest and [a Jesuit]5728-a jesuit for [a tutor]6866-a tutor . [I]196-m. paul retain [his]6860-my rich father lessons ; and to what discoveries , [grand Dieu]270-dieu ! have [they]6867-they not aided [me]196-m. paul ! "[196-m. paul] " Discoveries made by [stealth]6868-stealth seem to [me]196-m. paul dishonourable discoveries . "[196-m. paul] " [Puritaine]409-puritaine ! [I]196-m. paul doubt it not . Yet see how [my]196-m. paul Jesuit 's system works . [You]3264-i know [the St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle ? "[196-m. paul] " Partially . "[3264-i] [He]3264-i laughed . " [You]3264-i say right - ' partially ' ; whereas [I]3264-i know [her]261-mademoiselle thoroughly ; there is the difference . [She]261-mademoiselle played before [me]3264-i the amiable ; offered [me]3264-i patte de velours ; caressed , flattered , fawned on [me]3264-i . Now , [I]3264-i am accessible to [a woman]4363-a woman 's flattery - accessible against [my]3264-i reason . Though never pretty , [she]261-mademoiselle was - when [I]3264-i first knew [her]261-mademoiselle - young , or knew how to look young . Like all [[her]261-mademoiselle countrywomen]6870-her countrywomen , [she]261-mademoiselle had the art of dressing - [she]261-mademoiselle had a certain cool , easy , social assurance , which spared [me]3264-i the pain of embarrassment - "[3264-i] " [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , that must have been unnecessary . [I]196-m. paul never saw [you]1465-monsieur embarrassed in [my]196-m. paul life . "[196-m. paul] " [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , [you]1465-monsieur know little of [me]196-m. paul ; [I]196-m. paul can be embarrassed as [a petite pensionnaire]6872-a petite pensionnaire ; there is a fund of modesty and diffidence in [my]196-m. paul nature - "[196-m. paul] " [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [I]3264-i never saw it . "[3264-i] " [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , it is there . [You]1465-monsieur ought to have seen it . "[196-m. paul] " [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [I]196-m. paul have observed [you]1465-monsieur in public - on platforms , in tribunes , before titles and crowned heads - and [you]1465-monsieur were as easy as [you]1465-monsieur are in the third division . "[196-m. paul] " [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , neither titles nor crowned heads excite [my]196-m. paul modesty ; and publicity is very much [my]196-m. paul element . [I]196-m. paul like it well , and breathe in it quite freely ; - but - but , in short , here is the sentiment brought into action , at this very moment ; however , [I]196-m. paul disdain to be worsted by it . If , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , [I]196-m. paul were [a marrying man]6875-a marrying man which [I]196-m. paul am not ; and [you]261-mademoiselle may spare [yourself]261-mademoiselle the trouble of any sneer [you]261-mademoiselle may be contemplating at the thought , and found it necessary to ask [a lady]1639-a lady whether [she]1639-a lady could look upon [me]196-m. paul in the light of [a future husband]5044-a future husband , then would it be proved that [I]196-m. paul am as [I]196-m. paul say - modest "[196-m. paul] [I]0-i quite believed [him]3265-him now ; and , in believing , [I]0-i honoured [him]3265-him with a sincerity of esteem which made [my]0-i heart ache . " As to the [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle , "[3265-him] [he]3265-him went on , recovering [himself]3265-him , for [his]3265-him voice had altered a little , ' [she]3266-her once intended to be [Madame Emanuel]410-madame emanuel ; and [I]0-i do n't know whither [I]0-i might have been led , but for yonder little lattice with the light . Ah , magic lattice ! what miracles of discovery hast [thou]3267-thou wrought ! Yes , " [he]3265-him pursued , "[0-i] [I]0-i have seen [her]3266-her rancours , [her]3266-her vanities , [her]3266-her levities - not only here , but elsewhere : [I]0-i have witnessed what bucklers [me]0-i against all [her]3266-her arts : [I]0-i am safe from [poor Zelie]261-mademoiselle . " "[261-mademoiselle] And [[my]0-i pupils]3268-my pupils , " [he]0-i presently recommenced , "[3268-my pupils] [those blondes jeunes filles]3269-those blondes jeunes filles - so mild and meek - [I]0-i have seen [the most reserved]3270-the most reserved - romp like [boys]3271-boys , [the demurest]3272-the demurest - snatch grapes from the walls , shake pears from the trees . When [the English teacher]1435-the english teacher came , [I]0-i saw [her]3266-her , marked [her]3266-her early preference for [this alley]4999-this alley , noticed [her]3266-her taste for seclusion , watched [her]3266-her well , long before [she]3266-her and [I]0-i came to speaking terms ; do [you]3275-you recollect [my]0-i once coming silently and offering [you]3275-you a little knot of white violets when [we]3276-we were [strangers]870-strangers ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i recollect it . [I]0-i dried the violets , kept them , and have them still . " "[0-i] It pleased [me]0-i when [you]3275-you took them peacefully and promptly , without prudery - that sentiment which [I]0-i ever dread to excite , and which , when it is revealed in eye or gesture , [I]0-i vindictively detest . To return . Not only did [I]0-i watch [you]3275-you ; but often - especially at eventide - [another guardian angel]3278-another guardian angel was noiselessly hovering near : night after night [[my]0-i cousin]6238-my cousin [Beck]190-madame has stolen down yonder steps , and glidingly pursued [your]3275-you movements when [you]3275-you did not see [her]190-madame . " "[190-madame] But , [Monsieur]3280-monsieur , [you]3275-you could not from the distance of that window see what passed in [this garden]4983-this garden at night ? " "[0-i] By moonlight [I]0-i possibly might with a glass - [I]0-i use a glass - but [the garden]1165-the garden itself is open to [me]0-i . In [the shed]3283-the shed , at the bottom , there is a door leading into [a court]3284-a court , which communicates with [the college]3012-the college ; of that door [I]0-i possess the key , and thus come and go at pleasure . This afternoon [I]0-i came through [it]3286-it , and found [you]3275-you asleep in classe ; again this evening [I]0-i have availed [myself]0-i of the same entrance . " [I]0-i could not help saying , "[0-i] If [you]3275-you were [a wicked , designing man]3287-a wicked , designing man , how terrible would all this be ! " [His]3275-you attention seemed incapable of being arrested by this view of the subject : [he]3275-you lit [his]3275-you cigar , and while [he]3275-you puffed it , leaning against a tree , and looking at [me]3287-a wicked , designing man in a cool , amused way [he]3275-you had when [his]3275-you humour was tranquil , [I]3287-a wicked , designing man thought proper to go on sermonizing [him]3275-you : [he]3275-you often lectured [me]3287-a wicked , designing man by the hour together - [I]3287-a wicked , designing man did not see why [I]3287-a wicked , designing man should not speak [my]3287-a wicked , designing man mind for once . So [I]3287-a wicked , designing man told [him]3275-you [my]3287-a wicked , designing man impressions concerning [his]3275-you Jesuit- system . "[3287-a wicked , designing man] The knowledge it brings [you]3275-you is bought too dear , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur ; this coming and going by stealth degrades [your]3275-you own dignity . " "[0-i] [My]0-i dignity ! " [he]3275-you cried , laughing ; "[0-i] when did [you]3289-you ever see [me]0-i trouble [my]0-i head about [my]0-i dignity ? It is [you]3289-you , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy , who are ' digne . ' How often , in [your]3289-you high insular presence , have [I]0-i taken a pleasure in trampling upon , what [you]3289-you are pleased to call , [my]0-i dignity ; tearing it , scattering it to the winds , in those mad transports [you]3289-you witness with such hauteur , and which [I]0-i know [you]3289-you think very like the ravings of [a third - rate London actor]3290-a third - rate london actor . " "[1465-monsieur] [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [I]0-i tell [you]1465-monsieur every glance [you]1465-monsieur cast from [that lattice]3292-that lattice is a wrong done to the best part of [your]1465-monsieur own nature . To study the human heart thus , is to banquet secretly and sacrilegiously on [Eve]411-eve 's apples . [I]0-i wish [you]1465-monsieur were [a Protestant]928-a protestant . " Indifferent to the wish , [he]1465-monsieur smoked on . After a space of smiling yet thoughtful silence , [he]1465-monsieur said , rather suddenly - "[1465-monsieur] [I]0-i have seen other things . " "[0-i] What other things ? " Taking the weed from [his]1465-monsieur lips , [he]1465-monsieur threw the remnant amongst the shrubs , where , for a moment , it lay glowing in the gloom . "[0-i] Look , at it , " said [he]1465-monsieur : "[0-i] is not that spark like an eye watching [you]3289-you and [me]0-i ? " [He]1465-monsieur took a turn down [the walk]1171-the walk ; presently returning , [he]1465-monsieur went on : - "[0-i] [I]0-i have seen , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy , things to [me]0-i unaccountable , that have made [me]0-i watch all night for a solution , and [I]0-i have not yet found it . " The tone was peculiar ; [my]0-i veins thrilled ; [he]1465-monsieur saw [me]0-i shiver . "[0-i] Are [you]0-i afraid ? Whether is it of [my]0-i words or that red jealous eye just winking itself out ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am cold ; the night grows dark and late , and the air is changed ; it is time to go in . " "[261-mademoiselle] It is little past eight , but [you]0-i shall go in soon . Answer [me]0-i only this question . " Yet [he]1465-monsieur paused ere [he]1465-monsieur put it . [The garden]1165-the garden was truly growing dark ; dusk had come on with clouds , and drops of rain began to patter through the trees . [I]261-mademoiselle hoped [he]1465-monsieur would feel this , but , for the moment , [he]1465-monsieur seemed too much absorbed to be sensible of the change . "[261-mademoiselle] [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , do [you]3294-you [Protestants]412-protestants believe in the supernatural ? " "[261-mademoiselle] There is a difference of theory and belief on this point amongst [Protestants]412-protestants as amongst other sects , " [I]261-mademoiselle answered . "[261-mademoiselle] Why , [Monsieur]3295-monsieur , do [you]3295-monsieur ask such a question ? " "[3295-monsieur] Why do [you]3295-monsieur shrink and speak so faintly ? Are [you]3295-monsieur superstitious ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i am constitutionally nervous . [I]0-i dislike the discussion of such subjects . [I]0-i dislike it the more because - " "[3295-monsieur] [You]3295-monsieur believe ? " "[3295-monsieur] No : but it has happened to [me]0-i to experience impressions - " "[413-bon] Since [you]3295-monsieur came [here]4212-here ? " "[3295-monsieur] Yes ; not many months ago . " "[3295-monsieur] Here ? - in [this house]5145-this house ? " "[3295-monsieur] Yes . " "[413-bon] [Bon]413-bon ! [I]0-i am glad of it . [I]0-i knew it , somehow ; before [you]3295-monsieur told [me]0-i . [I]0-i was conscious of rapport between [you]3295-monsieur and [myself]0-i . [You]3295-monsieur are patient , and [I]0-i am choleric ; [you]3295-monsieur are quiet and pale , and [I]0-i am tanned and fiery ; [you]3295-monsieur are a strict Protestant , and [I]0-i am [a sort of lay Jesuit]3298-a sort of lay jesuit : but [we]3299-we are alike - there is affinity between [us]3299-we . Do [you]3295-monsieur see it , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , when [you]3295-monsieur look in the glass ? Do [you]3295-monsieur observe that [your]3295-monsieur forehead is shaped like [mine]0-i - that [your]3295-monsieur eyes are cut like [mine]0-i ? Do [you]3295-monsieur hear that [you]3295-monsieur have some of [my]0-i tones of voice ? Do [you]3295-monsieur know that [you]3295-monsieur have many of [my]0-i looks ? [I]0-i perceive all this , and believe that [you]3295-monsieur were born under [my]0-i star . Yes , [you]3295-monsieur were born under [my]0-i star ! [Tremble]414-tremble ! for where that is the case with [mortals]3300-mortals , the threads of [their]3300-mortals destinies are difficult to disentangle ; knottings and catchings occur - sudden breaks leave damage in the web . But these ' impressions , ' as [you]3295-monsieur say , with English caution . [I]0-i , too , have had [my]0-i ' impressions . ' " "[0-i] [Monsieur]3301-monsieur , tell [me]0-i them . " "[3301-monsieur] [I]0-i desire no better , and intend no less . [You]3301-monsieur know the legend of [this house]5145-this house and [garden]1594-garden ? " "[3301-monsieur] [I]0-i know it . Yes . [They]3304-they say that hundreds of years ago [a nun]6121-a nun was buried here alive at the foot of this very tree , beneath [the ground which now bears [us]3307-us]3306-the ground which now bears us . " "[6121-a nun] And that in former days [a nun]6121-a nun 's ghost used to come and go [here]4212-here . " "[1465-monsieur] [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , what if it comes and goes here still ? " "[1465-monsieur] Something comes and goes here : there is a shape frequenting [this house]5145-this house by night , different to any forms that show [themselves]3304-they by day . [I]0-i have indisputably seen a something , more than once ; and to [me]0-i [its]5145-this house conventual weeds were a strange sight , saying more than they can do to any other living being . [A nun]6121-a nun ! " "[3313-monsieur] [Monsieur]3313-monsieur , [I]0-i , too , have seen it . " "[0-i] [I]0-i anticipated that . Whether [this nun]3314-this nun be flesh and blood , or something that remains when blood is dried , and flesh is wasted , [her]3314-this nun business is as much with [you]3313-monsieur as with [me]0-i , probably . Well , [I]0-i mean to make it out ; it has baffled [me]0-i so far , but [I]0-i mean to follow up the mystery . [I]0-i mean - " Instead of telling what [he]3313-monsieur meant , [he]3313-monsieur raised [his]3313-monsieur head suddenly ; [I]0-i made the same movement in the same instant ; [we]6880-we both looked to one point - the high tree shadowing the great berceau , and resting some of its boughs on the roof of [the first classe]1533-the first classe . There had been a strange and inexplicable sound from that quarter , as if the arms of that tree had swayed of their own motion , and its weight of foliage had rushed and crushed against the massive trunk . Yes ; there scarce stirred a breeze , and that heavy tree was convulsed , whilst the feathery shrubs stood still . For some minutes amongst the wood and leafage a rending and heaving went on . Dark as it was , it seemed to [me]0-i that something more solid than either night - shadow , or branch - shadow , blackened out of the boles . At last the struggle ceased . What birth succeeded this travail ? What [Dryad]415-dryad was born of these throes ? [We]6880-we watched fixedly . A sudden bell rang in [the house]518-the house - the prayer - bell . Instantly into [[our]6880-we alley]6883-our alley there came , out of the berceau , [an apparition , all black and white]6884-an apparition , all black and white . With a sort of angry rush - close , close past [our]6880-we faces - swept swiftly [the very NUN]6885-the very nun [herself]6885-the very nun ! Never had [I]0-i seen [her]6885-the very nun so clearly . [She]6885-the very nun looked tall of stature , and fierce of gesture . As [she]6885-the very nun went , the wind rose sobbing ; the rain poured wild and cold ; the whole night seemed to feel [her]6885-the very nun . CHAPTER XXXII . THE FIRST LETTER . Where , it becomes time to inquire , was [Paulina Mary]141-paulina ? How fared [my]0-i intercourse with [the sumptuous Hotel Crecy]6886-the sumptuous hotel crecy ? That intercourse had , for an interval , been suspended by absence ; [M.]196-m. paul and [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre had been travelling , dividing some weeks between [[the provinces]6887-the provinces and capital of [France]15-france]6888-the provinces and capital of france . [Chance]416-chance apprised [me]0-i of [their]6889-they return very shortly after it took place . [I]0-i was walking one mild afternoon on [a quiet boulevard]6890-a quiet boulevard , wandering slowly on , enjoying the benign April sun , and some thoughts not unpleasing , when [I]0-i saw before [me]0-i a group of [riders]6891-riders , stopping as if [they]6889-they had just encountered , and exchanging greetings in the midst of [the broad , smooth , linden - bordered path]6892-the broad , smooth , linden - bordered path ; on one side a [middle - aged gentleman]6893-middle - aged gentleman and [young lady]6894-young lady , on the other - [a young and handsome man]6895-a young and handsome man . Very graceful was [[the lady]554-the lady 's mien]6897-the lady 's mien , choice [her]554-the lady appointments , delicate and stately [her]554-the lady whole aspect . Still , as [I]0-i looked , [I]0-i felt [they]6889-they were known to [me]0-i , and , drawing a little nearer , [I]0-i fully recognised [them]6889-they all : the Count Home [de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre , [[his]6895-a young and handsome man daughter]686-his daughter , and [Dr. Graham Bretton]135-graham . How animated was [Graham]135-graham 's face ! How true , how warm , yet how retiring the joy it expressed ! This was the state of things , this the combination of circumstances , at once to attract and enchain , to subdue and excite [Dr. John]135-graham . The pearl [he]135-graham admired was in itself of great price and truest purity , but [he]135-graham was not [the man who , in appreciating the gem , could forget its setting]6899-the man who , in appreciating the gem , could forget its setting . Had [he]135-graham seen [Paulina]141-paulina with the same youth , beauty , and grace , but on foot , alone , unguarded , and in simple attire , [a dependent worker]6900-a dependent worker , [a demi - grisette]6901-a demi - grisette , [he]135-graham would have thought [her]141-paulina a pretty little creature , and would have loved with [his]135-graham eye [her]141-paulina movements and [her]141-paulina mien , but it required other than this to conquer [him]135-graham as [he]135-graham was now vanquished , to bring [him]135-graham safe under dominion as now , without loss , and even with gain to [his]135-graham manly honour , [one]607-one saw that [he]135-graham was reduced ; there was about [Dr. John]135-graham all [the man of [the world]811-the world]2992-the man of the world ; to satisfy [himself]135-graham did not suffice ; [society]6905-society must approve - [the world]811-the world must admire what [he]135-graham did , or [he]135-graham counted [his]135-graham measures false and futile . In [his]135-graham victrix [he]135-graham required all that was here visible - the imprint of high cultivation , the consecration of a careful and authoritative protection , the adjuncts that Fashion decrees , Wealth purchases , and Taste adjusts ; for these conditions [his]135-graham spirit stipulated ere it surrendered : they were here to the utmost fulfilled ; and now , proud , impassioned , yet fearing , [he]135-graham did homage to [Paulina]141-paulina as [[his]135-graham sovereign]6907-his sovereign . As for [her]141-paulina , the smile of feeling , rather than of conscious power , slept soft in [her]141-paulina eyes . [They]6908-they parted . [He]135-graham passed [me]0-i at speed , hardly feeling the earth [he]135-graham skimmed , and seeing nothing on either hand . [He]135-graham looked very handsome ; mettle and purpose were roused in [him]135-graham fully . "[0-i] [Papa]140-papa , there is [Lucy]142-lucy ! " cried a musical , friendly voice . "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy , dear [Lucy]142-lucy - do come here ! " [I]142-lucy hastened to [her]141-paulina . [She]141-paulina threw back [her]141-paulina veil , and stooped from [her]141-paulina saddle to kiss [me]142-lucy . "[142-lucy] [I]0-i was coming to see [you]140-papa to - morrow , " said [she]141-paulina ; "[0-i] but now to - morrow [you]140-papa will come and see [me]0-i . " [She]141-paulina named the hour , and [I]142-lucy promised [compliance]417-compliance . The morrow 's evening found [me]142-lucy with [her]141-paulina - [she]141-paulina and [I]142-lucy shut into [[her]141-paulina own room]1035-her own room . [I]142-lucy had not seen [her]141-paulina since that occasion when [her]141-paulina claims were brought into comparison with those of [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , and had so signally prevailed ; [she]141-paulina had much to tell [me]142-lucy of [her]141-paulina travels in the interval . [A most animated , rapid speaker]6910-a most animated , rapid speaker was [she]141-paulina in such a tete - a- tete , [a most lively describer]6911-a most lively describer ; yet with [her]141-paulina artless diction and clear soft voice , [she]141-paulina never seemed to speak too fast or to say too much . [My]142-lucy own attention [I]142-lucy think would not soon have flagged , but by - and - by , [she]141-paulina [herself]141-paulina seemed to need some change of subject ; [she]141-paulina hastened to wind up [her]141-paulina narrative briefly . Yet why [she]141-paulina terminated with so concise an abridgment did not immediately appear ; silence followed - a restless silence , not without symptoms of abstraction . Then , turning to [me]142-lucy , in a diffident , half - appealing voice - "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy - " "[142-lucy] Well , [I]0-i am at [your]142-lucy side . " "[0-i] Is [[my]0-i cousin]6238-my cousin [Ginevra]179-ginevra still at [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's]972-madame beck 's ? " "[179-ginevra] [[Your]0-i cousin]3317-your cousin is still there ; [you]0-i must be longing to see [her]3317-your cousin . " "[179-ginevra] No - not much . " "[179-ginevra] [You]0-i want to invite [her]3317-your cousin to spend another evening ? " "[0-i] No ... [I]0-i suppose [she]3317-your cousin still talks about being married ? " "[3317-your cousin] Not to [any one [you]0-i care for]3318-any one you care for . " "[3317-your cousin] But of course [she]3317-your cousin still thinks of [Dr. Bretton]135-graham ? [She]3317-your cousin can not have changed [her]3317-your cousin mind on that point , because it was so fixed two months ago . " "[3317-your cousin] Why , [you]0-i know , it does not matter . [You]0-i saw the terms on which [they]3319-they stood . " "[0-i] There was a little misunderstanding that evening , certainly ; does [she]3317-your cousin seem unhappy ? " "[3317-your cousin] Not [she]3317-your cousin . To change the subject . Have [you]0-i heard or seen nothing of , or from . [Graham]135-graham during [your]0-i absence ? " "[135-graham] [Papa]140-papa had letters from [him]140-papa once or twice about business , [I]0-i think . [He]140-papa undertook the management of some affair which required attention while [we]3320-we were [away]3321-away . [Dr. Bretton]135-graham seems to respect [papa]4218-papa , and to have pleasure in obliging [him]140-papa . " "[135-graham] Yes : [you]0-i met [him]140-papa yesterday on [the boulevard]986-the boulevard ; [you]0-i would be able to judge from [his]140-papa aspect that [[his]140-papa friends]706-his friends need not be painfully anxious about [his]140-papa health ? " "[140-papa] [Papa]140-papa seems to have thought with [you]0-i . [I]0-i could not help smiling . [He]140-papa is not particularly observant , [you]0-i know , because [he]140-papa is often thinking of other things than what pass before [his]140-papa eyes ; but [he]140-papa said , as [Dr. Bretton]135-graham rode away , ` Really it does [a man]823-a man good to see the spirit and energy of [that boy]3326-that boy . ' [He]140-papa called [Dr. Bretton]135-graham [a boy]4374-a boy ; [I]0-i believe [he]140-papa almost thinks [him]140-papa so , just as [he]140-papa thinks [me]0-i [a little girl]545-a little girl ; [he]140-papa was not speaking to [me]0-i , but dropped that remark to [himself]140-papa . [Lucy]142-lucy .... " Again fell the appealing accent , and at the same instant [she]142-lucy left [her]142-lucy chair , and came and sat on the stool at [my]142-lucy feet . [I]142-lucy liked [her]142-lucy . It is not a declaration [I]142-lucy have often made concerning [my]142-lucy acquaintance , in the course of this book : [the reader]759-the reader will bear with it for once . Intimate intercourse , close inspection , disclosed in [Paulina]141-paulina only what was delicate , intelligent , and sincere ; therefore [my]142-lucy regard for [her]142-lucy lay deep . An admiration more superficial might have been more demonstrative ; [mine]142-lucy , however , was quiet . "[142-lucy] What have [you]142-lucy to ask of [Lucy]142-lucy ? " said [I]142-lucy ; "[142-lucy] be brave , and speak out " But there was no courage in [her]142-lucy eye ; as it met [mine]142-lucy , it fell ; and there was no coolness on [her]142-lucy cheek - not a transient surface - blush , but a gathering inward excitement raised its tint and its temperature . "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy , [I]0-i do wish to know [your]142-lucy thoughts of [Dr. Bretton]135-graham . Do , do give [me]0-i [your]142-lucy real opinion of [his]135-graham character , [his]135-graham disposition . " "[142-lucy] [His]135-graham character stands high , and deservedly high . " "[135-graham] And [his]135-graham disposition ? Tell [me]0-i about [his]135-graham disposition , " [she]534-his mother urged ; "[142-lucy] [you]142-lucy know [him]135-graham well . " "[142-lucy] [I]0-i know [him]135-graham pretty well . " "[142-lucy] [You]142-lucy know [his]135-graham home - side . [You]142-lucy have seen [him]135-graham with [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother ; speak of [him]135-graham as [a son]3330-a son . " "[142-lucy] [He]135-graham is [a fine - hearted son]3331-a fine - hearted son ; [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother 's comfort and hope , [her]534-his mother pride and pleasure . " [She]534-his mother held [my]3331-a fine - hearted son hand between [hers]534-his mother , and at each favourable word gave it a little caressing stroke . "[3331-a fine - hearted son] In what other way is [he]135-graham good , [Lucy]142-lucy ? " "[142-lucy] [Dr. Bretton]135-graham is benevolent - humanely disposed towards [all [his]135-graham race]3333-all his race , [Dr. Bretton]135-graham would have benignity for [the lowest savage]3334-the lowest savage , or [the worst criminal]3335-the worst criminal . " "[0-i] [I]0-i heard [some gentlemen]6491-some gentlemen , [some of [[papa]4218-papa 's friends]3339-papa 's friends , who were talking about [him]135-graham , say the same . [They]6491-some gentlemen say many of [the poor patients at [the hospitals]2007-the hospitals , who tremble before [some pitiless and selfish surgeons]3342-some pitiless and selfish surgeons]3340-the poor patients at the hospitals , who tremble before some pitiless and selfish surgeons]3337-some of papa 's friends , who were talking about him , say the same . they say many of the poor patients at the hospitals , who tremble before some pitiless and selfish surgeons , welcome [him]135-graham . " "[6491-some gentlemen] [They]6491-some gentlemen are right ; [I]0-i have witnessed as much . [He]135-graham once took [me]0-i over [a hospital]3343-a hospital ; [I]0-i saw how [he]135-graham was received : [[[your]3344-she father]4386-your father 's friends]3346-your father 's friends are right . " The softest gratitude animated [her]3344-she eye as [she]3344-she lifted it a moment . [She]3344-she had yet more to say , but seemed hesitating about time and place . Dusk was beginning to reign ; [her]3344-she parlour fire already glowed with twilight ruddiness ; but [I]3346-your father 's friends thought [she]3344-she wished [the room]600-the room dimmer , the hour later . "[3346-your father 's friends] How quiet and secluded [we]3347-we feel [here]4212-here ! " [I]3347-we remarked , to reassure [her]3344-she . "[3347-we] Do [we]3347-we ? Yes ; it is a still evening , and [I]0-i shall not be called down to tea ; [papa]4218-papa is dining out . " Still holding [my]4218-papa hand , [she]3344-she played with the fingers unconsciously , dressed them , now in [her]3344-she own rings , and now circled them with a twine of [her]3344-she beautiful hair ; [she]3344-she patted the palm against [her]3344-she hot cheek , and at last , having cleared a voice that was naturally liquid as a lark 's , [she]3344-she said : - "[4218-papa] [You]3350-you must think it rather strange that [I]0-i should talk so much about [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , ask so many questions , take such an interest , but - " . "[135-graham] Not at all strange ; perfectly natural ; [you]3350-you like [him]135-graham . " "[3350-you] And if [I]0-i did , " said [she]3344-she , with slight quickness , "[3350-you] is that a reason why [I]0-i should talk ? [I]0-i suppose [you]3350-you think [me]0-i weak , like [[my]0-i cousin]6238-my cousin [Ginevra]179-ginevra ? " "[3350-you] If [I]0-i thought [you]3350-you one whit like [Madame Ginevra]418-madame ginevra , [I]0-i would not sit here waiting for [your]3350-you communications . [I]0-i would get up , walk at [my]0-i ease about [the room]600-the room , and anticipate all [you]3350-you had to say by a round lecture . Go on . " "[0-i] [I]0-i mean to go on , " retorted [she]179-ginevra ; "[0-i] what else do [you]3350-you suppose [I]0-i mean to do ? " And [she]179-ginevra looked and spoke - the little Polly of [Bretton]135-graham - petulant , sensitive . "[3350-you] If , " said [she]179-ginevra , emphatically , "[3350-you] if [I]0-i liked [Dr. John]135-graham till [I]0-i was fit to die for liking [him]135-graham , that alone could not license [me]0-i to be otherwise than dumb - dumb as the grave - dumb as [you]3350-you , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy - [you]3350-you know it - and [you]3350-you know [you]3350-you would despise [me]0-i if [I]0-i failed in self - control , and whined about some rickety liking that was all on [my]0-i side . " "[3350-you] It is true [I]0-i little respect [women]4398-women or [girls who are loquacious either in boasting the triumphs , or bemoaning the mortifications , of feelings]3354-girls who are loquacious either in boasting the triumphs , or bemoaning the mortifications , of feelings . But as to [you]3350-you , [Paulina]141-paulina , speak , for [I]0-i earnestly wish to hear [you]3350-you . Tell [me]0-i all it will give [you]3350-you pleasure or relief to tell : [I]0-i ask no more . " "[0-i] Do [you]141-paulina care for [me]0-i , [Lucy]142-lucy ? " "[141-paulina] Yes , [I]0-i do , [Paulina]141-paulina . " "[0-i] And [I]0-i love [you]3350-you . [I]0-i had an odd content in being with [you]3350-you even when [I]0-i was [a little , troublesome , disobedient girl]3355-a little , troublesome , disobedient girl ; it was charming to [me]0-i then to lavish on [you]3350-you [my]0-i naughtiness and whims . Now [you]3350-you are acceptable to [me]0-i , and [I]0-i like to talk with and trust [you]3350-you . So listen , [Lucy]142-lucy . " And [she]3350-you settled [herself]3350-you , resting against [my]142-lucy arm - resting gently , not with [honest Mistress Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's fatiguing and selfish weight . "[142-lucy] A few minutes since [you]3350-you asked whether [we]3356-we had not heard from [Graham]135-graham during [our]3356-we absence , and [I]0-i said there were two letters for [papa]4218-papa on business ; this was true , but [I]0-i did not tell [you]3350-you all . " "[0-i] [You]0-i evaded ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i shuffled and equivocated , [you]3350-you know . However , [I]0-i am going to speak the truth now ; it is getting darker ; [one]607-one can talk at [one]607-one 's ease . [Papa]140-papa often lets [me]0-i open the letter - bag and give [him]140-papa out the contents . One morning , about three weeks ago , [you]3350-you do n't know how surprised [I]0-i was to find , amongst a dozen letters for [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , a note addressed to [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre . [I]0-i spied it at once , amidst all the rest ; the handwriting was not strange ; it attracted [me]0-i directly . [I]0-i was going to say , ' [Papa]140-papa , here is another letter from [Dr. Bretton]135-graham ; ' but the ' Miss ' struck [me]0-i mute . [I]0-i actually never received a letter from [a gentleman]629-a gentleman before . Ought [I]0-i to have shown it to [papa]4218-papa , and let [him]4218-papa open it and read it first ? [I]0-i could not for [my]0-i life , [Lucy]142-lucy . [I]0-i know so well [papa]4218-papa 's ideas about [me]0-i : [he]4218-papa forgets [my]0-i age ; [he]4218-papa thinks [I]0-i am [a mere school - girl]3363-a mere school - girl ; [he]4218-papa is not aware that [other people]1151-other people see [I]0-i am grown up as tall as [I]0-i shall be ; so , with a curious mixture of feelings , some of them self - reproachful , and some so fluttering and strong , [I]0-i can not describe them , [I]0-i gave [papa]4218-papa [his]4218-papa twelve letters - [his]4218-papa herd of possessions - and kept back [my]0-i one , [my]0-i ewe - lamb . It lay in [my]0-i lap during breakfast , looking up at [me]0-i with an inexplicable meaning , making [me]0-i feel [myself]0-i a thing double - existent - [a child to [that dear papa]3367-that dear papa]3366-a child to that dear papa , but no more [a child to [myself]0-i]3368-a child to myself . After breakfast [I]0-i carried [my]0-i letter up - [stairs]593-stairs , and having secured [myself]0-i by turning the key in the door , [I]0-i began to study the outside of [[my]0-i treasure]3370-my treasure : it was some minutes before [I]0-i could get over the direction and penetrate the seal ; one does not take a strong place of this kind by instant storm - [one]607-one sits down awhile before it , as beleaguers say . [Graham]135-graham 's hand is like [himself]135-graham , [Lucy]142-lucy , and so is [his]135-graham seal - all clear , firm , and rounded - no slovenly splash of wax - a full , solid , steady drop - a distinct impress ; no pointed turns harshly pricking the optic nerve , but a clean , mellow , pleasant manuscript , that soothes [you]142-lucy as [you]142-lucy read . It is like [his]135-graham face - just like the chiselling of [his]135-graham features : do [you]142-lucy know [his]135-graham autograph ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i have seen it : go on . " "[0-i] The seal was too beautiful to be broken , so [I]0-i cut it round with [my]0-i scissors . On the point of reading the letter at last , [I]0-i once more drew back voluntarily ; it was too soon yet to drink that draught - the sparkle in the cup was so beautiful - [I]0-i would watch it yet a minute . Then [I]0-i remembered all at once that [I]0-i had not said [my]0-i prayers that morning . Having heard [papa]4218-papa go down to breakfast a little earlier than usual , [I]0-i had been afraid of keeping [him]4218-papa waiting , and had hastened to join [him]4218-papa as soon as dressed , thinking no harm to put off prayers till afterwards . [Some people]5153-some people would say [I]0-i ought to have served [God]164-god first and then [man]618-man ; but [I]0-i do n't think heaven could be jealous of anything [I]0-i might do for [papa]4218-papa . [I]0-i believe [I]0-i am superstitious . A voice seemed now to say that another feeling than filial affection was in question - to urge [me]0-i to pray before [I]0-i dared to read what [I]0-i so longed to read - to deny [myself]0-i yet a moment , and remember first a great duty . [I]0-i have had these impulses ever since [I]0-i can remember . [I]0-i put the letter down and said [my]0-i prayers , adding , at the end , a strong entreaty that whatever happened , [I]0-i might not be tempted or led to cause [papa]4218-papa any sorrow , and might never , in caring for [others]770-others , neglect [him]4218-papa . The very thought of such a possibility , so pierced [my]0-i heart that it made [me]0-i cry . But still , [Lucy]142-lucy , [I]0-i felt that in time [papa]4218-papa would have to be taught the truth , managed , and induced to hear reason . " [I]142-lucy read the letter . [Lucy]142-lucy , life is said to be all disappointment . [I]142-lucy was not disappointed . Ere [I]142-lucy read , and while [I]142-lucy read , [my]142-lucy heart did more than throb - it trembled fast - every quiver seemed like the pant of an animal athirst , laid down at a well and drinking ; and the well proved quite full , gloriously clear ; it rose up munificently of its own impulse ; [I]142-lucy saw the sun through its gush , and not a mote , [Lucy]142-lucy , no moss , no insect , no atom in the thrice - refined golden gurgle . "[142-lucy] Life , " [she]142-lucy went on , "[142-lucy] is said to be full of pain to some . [I]0-i have read biographies where [the wayfarer]3379-the wayfarer seemed to journey on from suffering to suffering ; where [Hope]186-hope flew before [him]3379-the wayfarer fast , never alighting so near , or lingering so long , as to give [his]3379-the wayfarer hand a chance of one realizing grasp . [I]0-i have read of [those who sowed in tears , and whose harvest , so far from being reaped in joy , perished by untimely blight , or was borne off by sudden whirlwind]3380-those who sowed in tears , and whose harvest , so far from being reaped in joy , perished by untimely blight , or was borne off by sudden whirlwind ; and , alas ! some of these met the winter with empty garners , and died of utter want in the darkest and coldest of the year . " "[3381-their] Was it [their]3381-their fault , [Paulina]141-paulina , that [they]3381-their of whom [you]141-paulina speak thus died ? " "[3381-their] Not always [their]3381-their fault . [Some of [them]3381-their]4841-some of them were [good endeavouring people]3383-good endeavouring people . [I]0-i am not endeavouring , nor actively good , yet [God]164-god has caused [me]0-i to grow in sun , due moisture , and safe protection , sheltered , fostered , taught , by [[my]0-i dear father]3384-my dear father ; and now - now - another comes . [Graham]135-graham loves [me]0-i . " For some minutes [we]6914-we both paused on this climax . "[135-graham] Does [[your]141-paulina father]4386-your father know ? " [I]135-graham inquired , in a low voice . "[135-graham] [Graham]135-graham spoke with deep respect of [papa]4218-papa , but implied that [he]135-graham dared not approach that quarter as yet ; [he]135-graham must first prove [his]135-graham worth : [he]135-graham added that [he]135-graham must have some light respecting [myself]0-i and [my]0-i own feelings ere [he]135-graham ventured to risk a step in the matter elsewhere . " "[135-graham] How did [you]141-paulina reply ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i replied briefly , but [I]0-i did not repulse [him]135-graham . Yet [I]0-i almost trembled for fear of making the answer too cordial : [Graham]135-graham 's tastes are so fastidious . [I]0-i wrote it three times - chastening and subduing the phrases at every rescript ; at last , having confected it till it seemed to [me]0-i to resemble a morsel of ice flavoured with ever so slight a zest of fruit or sugar , [I]0-i ventured to seal and despatch it . " "[0-i] Excellent , [Paulina]141-paulina ! [Your]141-paulina instinct is fine ; [you]141-paulina understand [Dr. Bretton]135-graham . " "[135-graham] But how must [I]0-i manage about [papa]140-papa ? There [I]0-i am still in pain . " "[0-i] Do not manage at all . Wait now . Only maintain no further correspondence till [[your]141-paulina father]4386-your father knows all , and gives [his]4386-your father sanction . " "[4386-your father] Will [he]4386-your father ever give it ? " "[4386-your father] Time will show . Wait . " "[135-graham] [Dr. Bretton]135-graham wrote one other letter , deeply grateful for [my]0-i calm , brief note ; but [I]0-i anticipated [your]141-paulina advice , by saying , that while [my]0-i sentiments continued the same , [I]0-i could not , without [[my]0-i fathers]3388-my fathers knowledge , write again . " "[141-paulina] [You]141-paulina acted as [you]141-paulina ought to have done ; so [Dr. Bretton]135-graham will feel : it will increase [his]135-graham pride in [you]141-paulina , [his]135-graham love for [you]141-paulina , if either be capable of increase . [Paulina]141-paulina , that gentle hoar - frost of [yours]141-paulina , surrounding so much pure , fine flame , is a priceless privilege of nature . " "[141-paulina] [You]141-paulina see [I]0-i feel [Graham]135-graham 's disposition , " said [she]141-paulina . "[0-i] [I]0-i feel that no delicacy can be too exquisite for [his]135-graham treatment . " "[0-i] It is perfectly proved that [you]141-paulina comprehend [him]135-graham , and then - whatever [Dr. Bretton]135-graham 's disposition , were [he]135-graham one who expected to be more nearly met - [you]141-paulina would still act truthfully , openly , tenderly , with [[your]141-paulina father]4386-your father . " "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy , [I]0-i trust [I]0-i shall thus act always . Oh , it will be pain to wake [papa]140-papa from [his]140-papa dream , and tell [him]140-papa [I]0-i am no more [a little girl]545-a little girl ! " "[3391-her] Be in no hurry to do so , [Paulina]141-paulina . Leave the revelation to Time and [your]141-paulina kind Fate . [I]0-i also have noticed the gentleness of [her]3391-her cares for [you]141-paulina : doubt not [she]3391-her will benignantly order the circumstances , and fitly appoint the hour . Yes : [I]0-i have thought over [your]141-paulina life just as [you]141-paulina have [yourself]141-paulina thought it over ; [I]0-i have made comparisons like those to which [you]141-paulina adverted . [We]3392-we know not the future , but the past has been propitious . " As [a child]4415-a child [I]196-m. paul feared for [you]141-paulina ; nothing that has life was ever more susceptible than [your]141-paulina nature in infancy : under harshness or neglect , neither [your]141-paulina outward nor [your]141-paulina inward self would have ripened to what they now are . Much pain , much fear , much struggle , would have troubled the very lines of [your]141-paulina features , broken their regularity , would have harassed [your]141-paulina nerves into the fever of habitual irritation [you]141-paulina would have lost in health and cheerfulness , in grace and sweetness . [Providence]160-providence has protected and cultured [you]141-paulina , not only for [your]141-paulina own sake , but [I]196-m. paul believe for [Graham]135-graham 's . [[His]135-graham star]6916-his star , too , was fortunate : to develop fully the best of [his]135-graham nature , [a companion like [you]141-paulina]6917-a companion like you was needed : there [you]141-paulina are , ready . [You]141-paulina must be united . [I]196-m. paul knew it the first day [I]196-m. paul saw [you]141-paulina together at [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse . In all that mutually concerns [you]141-paulina and [Graham]135-graham there seems to [me]196-m. paul promise , plan , harmony . [I]196-m. paul do not think [the sunny youth of either]6918-the sunny youth of either will prove the forerunner of stormy age . [I]196-m. paul think it is deemed good that [you]141-paulina two should live in peace and be happy - not as [angels]6919-angels , but as [few]4401-few are happy amongst [mortals]3300-mortals . Some lives are thus blessed : it is [God]164-god 's will : it is the attesting trace and lingering evidence of [Eden]419-eden . Other lives run from the first another course . [Other travellers]6922-other travellers encounter weather fitful and gusty , wild and variable - breast adverse winds , are belated and overtaken by the early closing winter night . Neither can this happen without the sanction of [God]164-god ; and [I]196-m. paul know that , amidst [His]196-m. paul boundless works , is somewhere stored the secret of this last fate 's justice : [I]196-m. paul know that [His]196-m. paul treasures contain the proof as the promise of its mercy . "[196-m. paul] CHAPTER XXXIII . [M. PAUL]196-m. paul KEEPS [HIS]196-m. paul PROMISE . On the first of May , [we]3393-we had all - i.e. [the twenty boarders]3394-the twenty boarders and [the four teachers]3395-the four teachers - notice to rise at five o'clock of the morning , to be dressed and ready by six , to put [ourselves]3393-we under the command of [M. le Professeur Emanuel]420-m. le professeur emanuel , who was to head [our]3393-we march forth from [Villette]3-villette , for it was on this day [he]196-m. paul proposed to fulfil [his]196-m. paul promise of taking [us]3393-we to breakfast in [the country]571-the country . [I]0-i , indeed , as [the reader]759-the reader may perhaps remember , had not had the honour of an invitation when this excursion was first projected - rather the contrary ; but on [my]0-i now making allusion to this fact , and wishing to know how it was to be , [my]0-i ear received a pull , of which [I]0-i did not venture to challenge the repetition by raising , further difficulties . " Je vous conseille de vous faire prier , "[196-m. paul] said [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , imperially menacing the other ear . One Napoleonic compliment , however , was enough , so [I]0-i made up [my]0-i mind to be of the party . The morning broke calm as summer , with singing of birds in [the garden]1165-the garden , and a light dew - mist that promised heat . [We]3393-we all said it would be warm , and [we]3393-we all felt pleasure in folding away heavy garments , and in assuming the attire suiting a sunny season . The clean fresh print dress , and the light straw bonnet , each made and trimmed as [the French workwoman]3399-the french workwoman alone can make and trim , so as to unite the utterly unpretending with the perfectly becoming , was the rule of costume . [Nobody]4256-nobody flaunted in faded silk ; [nobody]4256-nobody wore a second - hand best article . At six the bell rang merrily , and [we]3393-we poured down [the staircase]2466-the staircase , through [the carre]4820-the carre , along [the corridor]1349-the corridor , into [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule . There stood [[our]3393-we Professor]3175-our professor , wearing , not [his]3175-our professor savage - looking paletot and severe bonnet - grec , but a young - looking belted blouse and cheerful straw hat . [He]3175-our professor had for [us]3393-we all the kindest good - morrow , and most of [us]3393-we for [him]3175-our professor had a thanksgiving smile . [We]3393-we were marshalled in order and soon started . [The streets]983-the streets were yet quiet , and [the boulevards]5051-the boulevards were fresh and peaceful as [fields]802-fields . [I]0-i believe [we]3393-we were very happy as [we]3393-we walked along . [This chief of ours]3410-this chief of ours had the secret of giving a certain impetus to happiness when [he]3410-this chief of ours would ; just as , in an opposite mood , [he]3410-this chief of ours could give a thrill to fear . [He]3410-this chief of ours did not lead nor follow [us]3393-we , but walked along the line , giving a word to [every one]3411-every one , talking much to [[his]3410-this chief of ours favourites]3412-his favourites , and not wholly neglecting even those [he]3410-this chief of ours disliked . It was rather [my]0-i wish , for a reason [I]0-i had , to keep slightly aloof from notice , and being paired with [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra , bearing on [my]0-i arm the dear pressure of [that angel]3413-that angel 's not unsubstantial limb - [she]179-ginevra continued in excellent case , and [I]0-i can assure [the reader]759-the reader it was no trifling business to bear the burden of [her]179-ginevra loveliness ; many a time in the course of that warm day [I]0-i wished to goodness there had been less of the charming commodity - however , having [her]179-ginevra , as [I]0-i said , [I]0-i tried to make [her]179-ginevra useful by interposing [her]179-ginevra always between [myself]0-i and [M. Paul]196-m. paul , shifting [my]0-i place , according as [I]0-i heard [him]196-m. paul coming up to the right hand or the left . [My]0-i private motive for this manoeuvre might be traced to the circumstance of the new print dress [I]0-i wore , being pink in colour - a fact which , under [our]3415-our present convoy , made [me]0-i feel something as [I]0-i have felt , when , clad in a shawl with a red border , necessitated to traverse [a meadow where pastured a bull]3416-a meadow where pastured a bull . For awhile , the shifting system , together with some modifications in the arrangement of a black silk scarf , answered [my]0-i purpose ; but , by- and - by , [he]196-m. paul found out , that whether [he]196-m. paul came to this side or to that , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra was still [[his]196-m. paul neighbour]3054-his neighbour . The course of acquaintance between [Ginevra]179-ginevra and [him]196-m. paul had never run so smooth that [his]196-m. paul temper did not undergo a certain crisping process whenever [he]196-m. paul heard [her]179-ginevra English accent : nothing in [their]3415-our dispositions fitted ; they jarred if [they]3415-our came in contact ; [he]196-m. paul held [her]179-ginevra empty and affected ; [she]179-ginevra deemed [him]196-m. paul bearish , meddling , repellent . At last , when [he]196-m. paul had changed [his]196-m. paul place for about the sixth time , finding still the same untoward result to the experiment - [he]196-m. paul thrust [his]196-m. paul head forward , settled [his]196-m. paul eyes on [mine]3418-mine , and demanded with impatience , " Qu'est - ce que c'est ? Vous [me]196-m. paul jouez des tours ? "[196-m. paul] The words were hardly out of [his]196-m. paul mouth , however , ere , with [his]196-m. paul customary quickness , [he]196-m. paul seized the root of this proceeding : in vain [I]0-i shook out the long fringe , and spread forth the broad end of [my]0-i scarf . " A - h - h ! c'est la robe rose ! "[196-m. paul] broke from [his]196-m. paul lips , affecting [me]0-i very much like the sudden and irate low of [some lord of [the meadow]3420-the meadow]3419-some lord of the meadow . " It is only cotton , "[0-i] [I]0-i alleged , hurriedly ; " and cheaper , and washes better than any other colour . "[0-i] " Et Mademoiselle Lucy est coquette comme dix [Parisiennes]102-parisiennes , "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul answered . " A - t - on jamais vu une Anglaise pareille . Regardez plutot son chapeau , et ses gants , et ses brodequins ! "[196-m. paul] These articles of dress were just like what [[my]0-i companions]3421-my companions wore ; certainly not one whit smarter - perhaps rather plainer than most - but [Monsieur]3422-monsieur had now got hold of [his]196-m. paul text , and [I]0-i began to chafe under the expected sermon . It went off , however , as mildly as the menace of a storm sometimes passes on a summer day . [I]0-i got but one flash of sheet lightning in the shape of a single bantering smile from [his]196-m. paul eyes ; and then [he]196-m. paul said , " Courage ! - a vrai dire je ne suis pas fache , peut - etre meme suis je content qu'on s'est fait si belle pour ma petite fete . "[196-m. paul] " Mais ma robe n'est pas belle , [Monsieur]1465-monsieur - elle n'est que propre . "[196-m. paul] " J'aime la proprete , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul . In short , [he]196-m. paul was not to be dissatisfied ; the sun of good humour was to triumph on this auspicious morning ; it consumed scudding clouds ere they sullied its disk . And now [we]3423-we were in [the country]571-the country , amongst what [they]3425-they called " les bois et [les petits sentiers]6924-les petits sentiers . "[3425-they] [These woods]3426-these woods and lanes a month later would offer but a dusty and doubtful seclusion : now , however , in [their]3425-they May greenness and morning repose , they looked very pleasant . [We]3423-we reached a certain well , planted round , in [the taste of [Labassecour]48-labassecour]3427-the taste of labassecour , with an orderly circle of lime - trees : here a halt was called ; on the green swell of ground surrounding [this well]3428-this well , [we]3423-we were ordered to be seated , [Monsieur]3429-monsieur taking [his]196-m. paul place in [our]3423-we midst , and suffering [us]3423-we to gather in a knot round [him]196-m. paul . [Those who liked [him]196-m. paul more than [they]3430-those who liked him more than they feared feared]3430-those who liked him more than they feared , came close , and these were chiefly [little ones]3431-little ones ; [those who feared more than [they]3432-those who feared more than they liked liked]3432-those who feared more than they liked , kept somewhat aloof ; [those in whom much affection had given , even to what remained of fear , a pleasurable zest]3433-those in whom much affection had given , even to what remained of fear , a pleasurable zest , observed the greatest distance . [He]196-m. paul began to tell [us]3423-we a story . Well could [he]196-m. paul narrate : in such a diction as [children]4815-children love , and [learned men]3435-learned men emulate ; a diction simple in its strength , and strong in its simplicity . There were beautiful touches in that little tale ; sweet glimpses of feeling and hues of description that , while [I]0-i listened , sunk into [my]0-i mind , and since have never faded . [He]196-m. paul tinted a twilight scene - [I]0-i hold it in memory still - such a picture [I]0-i have never looked on from [artist]3436-artist 's pencil . [I]0-i have said , that , for [myself]0-i , [I]0-i had [no impromptu faculty]3437-no impromptu faculty ; and perhaps that very deficiency made [me]0-i marvel the more at [one who possessed it in perfection]3438-one who possessed it in perfection . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul was not [a man to write books]3439-a man to write books ; but [I]0-i have heard [him]196-m. paul lavish , with careless , unconscious prodigality , such mental wealth as books seldom boast ; [his]196-m. paul mind was indeed [[my]0-i library]3440-my library , and whenever it was opened to [me]0-i , [I]0-i entered bliss . Intellectually imperfect as [I]0-i was , [I]0-i could read little ; there were few bound and printed volumes that did not weary [me]0-i - whose perusal did not fag and blind - but [his]196-m. paul tomes of thought were collyrium to the spirit 's eyes ; over their contents , inward sight grew clear and strong . [I]0-i used to think what a delight it would be for one who loved [him]196-m. paul better than [he]196-m. paul loved [himself]196-m. paul , to gather and store up those handfuls of gold - dust , so recklessly flung to heaven 's reckless winds . [His]196-m. paul story done , [he]196-m. paul approached [the little knoll where [I]0-i and [Ginevra]179-ginevra]3441-the little knoll where i and ginevra sat apart . In [his]196-m. paul usual mode of demanding an opinion [he]196-m. paul had not reticence to wait till it was voluntarily offered [he]196-m. paul asked , " Were [you]0-i interested ? "[196-m. paul] According to [my]0-i wonted undemonstrative fashion , [I]0-i simply answered - " Yes . "[0-i] " Was it good ? "[196-m. paul] " Very good . "[196-m. paul] " Yet [I]196-m. paul could not write that down , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul . " Why not , [Monsieur]6925-monsieur ? "[196-m. paul] " [I]196-m. paul hate the mechanical labour ; [I]196-m. paul hate to stoop and sit still . [I]196-m. paul could dictate it , though , with pleasure , to [an amanuensis who suited [me]196-m. paul]6926-an amanuensis who suited me . Would [Mademoiselle Lucy]333-lucy write for [me]196-m. paul if [I]196-m. paul asked [her]333-lucy ? "[196-m. paul] " [Monsieur]6927-monsieur would be too quick ; [he]6927-monsieur would urge [me]196-m. paul , and be angry if [my]196-m. paul pen did not keep pace with [his]6927-monsieur lips . "[196-m. paul] " Try some day ; let [us]6928-us see the monster [I]196-m. paul can make of [myself]196-m. paul under the circumstances . But just now , there is no question of dictation ; [I]196-m. paul mean to make [you]6925-monsieur useful in [another office]6929-another office . Do [you]6925-monsieur see [yonder farm - house]6930-yonder farm - house ? "[196-m. paul] " Surrounded with trees ? Yes . "[196-m. paul] . " There [we]3444-we are to breakfast ; and while [the good fermiere]6931-the good fermiere makes [the cafe au lait]6932-the cafe au lait in a caldron , [you]6925-monsieur and [five others , whom [I]196-m. paul shall select]6933-five others , whom i shall select , will spread with butter half a hundred rolls . "[196-m. paul] Having formed [[his]3442-he troop]3443-his troop into line once more , [he]3442-he marched [us]3444-we straight on [the farm]3445-the farm , which , on seeing [our]3444-we force , surrendered without capitulation . Clean knives and plates , and fresh butter being provided , half - a - dozen of [us]3444-we , chosen by [[our]3444-we Professor]3175-our professor , set to work under [his]3442-he directions , to prepare for breakfast a huge basket of rolls , with which [the baker]3447-the baker had been ordered to provision [the farm]3445-the farm , in anticipation of [our]3444-we coming . Coffee and chocolate were already made hot ; cream and new - laid eggs were added to the treat , and [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , always generous , would have given a large order for " jambon "[196-m. paul] and " confitures "[196-m. paul] in addition , but that [some of [us]3444-we , who presumed perhaps upon [our]3444-we influence]3449-some of us , who presumed perhaps upon our influence , insisted that it would be a most reckless waste of victual . [He]3442-he railed at [us]3444-we for [our]3444-we pains , terming [us]3444-we " des menageres avares ; "[3442-he] but [we]3444-we let [him]3442-he talk , and managed the economy of the repast [our]3444-we own way . With what a pleasant countenance [he]3442-he stood on [the farm]3445-the farm - kitchen hearth looking on ! [He]3442-he was [a man whom it made happy to see [others]770-others]3451-a man whom it made happy to see others happy ; [he]3442-he liked to have movement , animation , abundance and enjoyment round [him]3442-he . [We]3444-we asked where [he]3442-he would sit . [He]3442-he told [us]3444-we , [we]3444-we knew well [he]3442-he was [[our]3444-we slave]3453-our slave , and [we]3444-we [[his]3442-he tyrants]3454-his tyrants , and that [he]3442-he dared not so much as choose a chair without [our]3444-we leave ; so [we]3444-we set [him]3442-he [the farmer]3455-the farmer 's great chair at the head of the long table , and put [him]3442-he into [it]3456-it . Well might [we]3444-we like [him]3442-he , with all [his]3442-he passions and hurricanes , when [he]3442-he could be so benignant and docile at times , as [he]3442-he was just now . Indeed , at the worst , it was only [his]3442-he nerves that were irritable , not [his]3442-he temper that was radically bad ; soothe , comprehend , comfort [him]3442-he , and [he]3442-he was [a lamb]3457-a lamb ; [he]3442-he would not harm a fly . Only to the very stupid , perverse , or unsympathizing , was [he]3442-he in the slightest degree dangerous . Mindful always of [his]3442-he religion , [he]3442-he made [the youngest of the party]3458-the youngest of the party say a little prayer before [we]3444-we began breakfast , crossing [himself]3442-he as devotedly as [a woman]4363-a woman . [I]0-i had never seen [him]3442-he pray before , or make that pious sign ; [he]3442-he did it so simply , with such child - like faith , [I]0-i could not help smiling pleasurably as [I]0-i watched ; [his]3442-he eyes met [my]0-i smile ; [he]3442-he just stretched out [his]3442-he kind hand , saying , " Donnez - moi la main ! [I]3442-he see [we]6934-we worship [the same God]6935-the same god , in the same spirit , though by different rites . "[3442-he] Most of [[M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's brother]3460-m. emanuel 's brother Professors were [emancipated free- thinkers]3461-emancipated free- thinkers , [infidels]3462-infidels , [atheists]3463-atheists ; and many of [them]3461-emancipated free- thinkers [men whose lives would not bear scrutiny]3464-men whose lives would not bear scrutiny ; [he]3442-he was more like [a knight of old]3465-a knight of old , religious in [his]3442-he way , and of spotless fame . Innocent childhood , [beautiful youth]3466-beautiful youth were safe at [his]3442-he side . [He]3442-he had vivid passions , keen feelings , but [his]3442-he pure honour and [his]3442-he artless piety were the strong charm that kept [the lions couchant]3467-the lions couchant . That breakfast was a merry meal , and the merriment was not mere vacant clatter : [M. Paul]196-m. paul originated , led , controlled and heightened it ; [his]3442-he social , lively temper played unfettered and unclouded ; surrounded only by [women]4398-women and [children]4815-children there was nothing to cross and thwart [him]3442-he ; [he]3442-he had [his]3442-he own way , and a pleasant way it was . The meal over , [the party]3470-the party were free to run and play in [the meadows]3471-the meadows ; [a few]3472-a few stayed to help [[the farmer]3455-the farmer 's wife]3474-the farmer 's wife to put away [her]3474-the farmer 's wife earthenware . M. [Paul]196-m. paul called [me]0-i from among these to come out and sit near [him]3442-he under a tree - whence [he]3442-he could view [the troop gambolling]3475-the troop gambolling , over [a wide pasture]3476-a wide pasture - and read to [him]3442-he whilst [he]3442-he took [his]3442-he cigar . [He]3442-he sat on a rustic bench , and [I]0-i at the tree - root . While [I]0-i read a pocket - classic - a [Corneille]421-corneille - [I]0-i did not like it , but [he]3442-he did , finding therein beauties [I]0-i never could be brought to perceive , [he]3442-he listened with a sweetness of calm the more impressive from the impetuosity of [his]3442-he general nature ; the deepest happiness filled [his]3442-he blue eye and smoothed [his]3442-he broad forehead . [I]0-i , too , was happy - happy with the bright day , happier with [his]3442-he presence , happiest with [his]3442-he kindness . [He]3442-he asked , by - and - by , if [I]0-i would not rather run to [[my]0-i companions]3421-my companions than sit there ? [I]0-i said , no ; [I]0-i felt content to be where [he]3442-he was . [He]3442-he asked whether , if [I]0-i were [[his]3442-he sister]3478-his sister , [I]0-i should always [he]3442-he content to stay with [a brother such as [he]3442-he]3479-a brother such as he . [I]0-i said , [I]0-i believed [I]0-i should ; and [I]0-i felt it . Again , [he]3442-he inquired whether , if [he]3442-he were to leave [Villette]3-villette , and go far away , [I]0-i should be sorry ; and [I]0-i dropped [Corneille]421-corneille , and made no reply . " [Petite soeur]422-petite soeur , "[3442-he] said [he]3442-he ; " how long could [you]422-petite soeur remember [me]3442-he if [we]6936-we were separated ? "[3442-he] " That , [Monsieur]6937-monsieur , [I]3442-he can never tell , because [I]3442-he do not know how long it will be before [I]3442-he shall cease to remember everything earthly . "[3442-he] " If [I]3442-he were to go beyond [seas]6938-seas for two - three - five years , should [you]6937-monsieur welcome [me]3442-he on [my]3442-he return ? "[3442-he] " [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , how could [I]3442-he live in the interval ? "[3442-he] " Pourtant j'ai ete pour vous bien dur , bien exigeant . "[3442-he] [I]0-i hid [my]0-i face with the book , for it was covered with tears . [I]0-i asked [him]3442-he why [he]3442-he talked so ; and [he]3442-he said [he]3442-he would talk so no more , and cheered [me]0-i again with the kindest encouragement . Still , the gentleness with which [he]3442-he treated [me]0-i during the rest of the day , went somehow to [my]0-i heart . It was too tender . It was mournful . [I]0-i would rather [he]3442-he had been abrupt , whimsical , and irate as was [his]3442-he wo nt . When hot noon arrived - for the day turned out as [we]3480-we had anticipated , glowing as [June]423-june - [[our]3480-we shepherd]3481-our shepherd collected [his]3481-our shepherd sheep from [the pasture]3482-the pasture , and proceeded to lead [us]3480-we all softly [home]542-home . But [we]3480-we had a whole league to walk , thus far from [Villette]3-villette was [the farm where [he]3442-he had breakfasted]3484-the farm where he had breakfasted ; [the children]1111-the children , especially , were tired with [their]1111-the children play ; the spirits of most flagged at the prospect of this mid - day walk over chaussees flinty , glaring , and dusty . This state of things had been foreseen and provided for . Just beyond the boundary of [the farm]3445-the farm [we]3480-we met [two spacious vehicles coming to fetch [us]3480-we]3487-two spacious vehicles coming to fetch us - such conveyances as are hired out purposely for the accommodation of school - parties ; here , with good management , room was found for all , and in another hour [M. Paul]196-m. paul made safe consignment of [his]196-m. paul charge at [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette . It had been a pleasant day : it would have been perfect , but for the breathing of melancholy which had dimmed its sunshine a moment . That tarnish was renewed the same evening . Just about sunset , [I]0-i saw [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul come out of the front - door , accompanied by [Madame Beck]190-madame . [They]3489-they paced [the centre - alley]3490-the centre - alley for nearly an hour , talking earnestly : [he]3442-he - looking grave , yet restless ; [she]190-madame - wearing an amazed , expostulatory , dissuasive air . [I]0-i wondered what was under discussion ; and when [Madame Beck]190-madame re - entered [the house]518-the house as [it]518-the house darkened , leaving [[her]190-madame kinsman]2823-her kinsman [Paul]196-m. paul yet lingering in [the garden]1165-the garden , [I]0-i said to [myself]0-i - " [He]3442-he called [me]0-i ' petite soeur ' this morning . If [he]3442-he were really [[my]0-i brother]1383-my brother , how [I]0-i should like to go to [him]3442-he just now , and ask what it is that presses on [his]3442-he mind . See how [he]3442-he leans against that tree , with [his]3442-he arms crossed and [his]3442-he brow bent . [He]3442-he wants consolation , [I]0-i know : [Madame]190-madame does not console : [she]190-madame only remonstrates . What now - - ? "[0-i] Starting from quiescence to action , [M. Paul]196-m. paul came striding erect and quick down [the garden]1165-the garden . The carre doors were yet open : [I]0-i thought [he]196-m. paul was probably going to water the orange - trees in the tubs , after [his]196-m. paul occasional custom ; on reaching [the court]1612-the court , however , [he]196-m. paul took an abrupt turn and made for the berceau and the first - classe glass door . There , in that first classe [I]0-i was , thence [I]0-i had been watching [him]196-m. paul ; but there [I]0-i could not find courage to await [his]196-m. paul approach . [He]196-m. paul had turned so suddenly , [he]196-m. paul strode so fast , [he]196-m. paul looked so strange ; [the coward within [me]0-i]3496-the coward within me grew pale , shrank and - not waiting to listen to reason , and hearing the shrubs crush and the gravel crunch to [his]196-m. paul advance - [she]3496-the coward within me was gone on the wings of panic . Nor did [I]0-i pause till [I]0-i had taken sanctuary in [the oratory]1021-the oratory , now empty . Listening there with beating pulses , and an unaccountable , undefined apprehension , [I]0-i heard [him]196-m. paul pass through all [the schoolrooms]1532-the schoolrooms , clashing the doors impatiently as [he]196-m. paul went ; [I]0-i heard [him]196-m. paul invade [the refectory]5110-the refectory which the " lecture pieuse "[196-m. paul] was now holding under hallowed constraint ; [I]0-i heard [him]196-m. paul pronounce these words - " Ou est Mademoiselle Lucie ? "[196-m. paul] And just as , summoning [my]0-i courage , [I]0-i was preparing to go down and do what , after all , [I]0-i most wished to do in [the world]811-the world - viz . , meet [him]196-m. paul - the wiry voice of [St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle replied glibly and falsely , " Elle est au lit . "[261-mademoiselle] And [he]196-m. paul passed , with the stamp of vexation , into [the corridor]1349-the corridor . There [Madame Beck]190-madame met , captured , chid , convoyed to [the street]623-the street - door , and finally dismissed [him]196-m. paul . As [that street]3503-that street - door closed , a sudden amazement at [my]0-i own perverse proceeding struck like a blow upon [me]0-i . [I]0-i felt from the first it was [me]0-i [he]196-m. paul wanted - [me]0-i [he]196-m. paul was seeking - and had not [I]0-i wanted [him]196-m. paul too ? What , then , had carried [me]0-i away ? What had rapt [me]0-i beyond [his]196-m. paul reach ? [He]196-m. paul had something to tell : [he]196-m. paul was going to tell [me]0-i that something : [my]0-i ear strained its nerve to hear it , and [I]0-i had made the confidence impossible . Yearning to listen and console , while [I]0-i thought audience and solace beyond hope 's reach - no sooner did opportunity suddenly and fully arrive , than [I]0-i evaded it as [I]0-i would have evaded the levelled shaft of mortality . Well , [my]0-i insane inconsistency had its reward . Instead of the comfort , the certain satisfaction , [I]0-i might have won - could [I]0-i but have put choking panic down , and stood firm two minutes - here was dead blank , dark doubt , and drear suspense . [I]0-i took [my]0-i wages to [my]0-i pillow , and passed the night counting them . CHAPTER XXXIV . MALEVOLA . [Madame Beck]190-madame called [me]0-i on Thursday afternoon , and asked whether [I]0-i had any occupation to hinder [me]0-i from going into [town]4930-town and executing some little commissions for [her]190-madame at [the shops]2128-the shops . Being disengaged , and placing [myself]0-i at [her]190-madame service , [I]0-i was presently furnished with a list of the wools , silks , embroidering thread , etcetera , wanted in [the pupils]1102-the pupils ' work , and having equipped [myself]0-i in a manner suiting the threatening aspect of a cloudy and sultry day , [I]0-i was just drawing the spring - bolt of [the street]623-the street - door , in act to issue forth , when [Madame]190-madame 's voice again summoned [me]0-i to [the salle -]1200-the salle - [a - manger]6152-a - manger . " Pardon , [Meess Lucie]187-meess lucie ! "[190-madame] cried [she]190-madame , in the seeming haste of an impromptu thought , " [I]190-madame have just recollected one more errand for [you]0-i , if [your]0-i good - nature will not deem itself over - burdened ? "[190-madame] Of course [I]0-i " confounded [myself]190-madame "[190-madame] in asseverations to the contrary ; and [Madame]190-madame , running into [the little salon]6025-the little salon , brought thence a pretty basket , filled with fine hothouse fruit , rosy , perfect , and tempting , reposing amongst the dark green , wax - like leaves , and pale yellow stars of , [I]0-i know not what , exotic plant . " There , "[190-madame] [she]190-madame said , " it is not heavy , and will not shame [your]0-i neat toilette , as if it were a household , [servant - like detail]6941-servant - like detail . Do [me]190-madame the favour to leave this little basket at [the house of [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens]6942-the house of madame walravens , with [my]190-madame felicitations on [her]424-madame walravens fete . [She]424-madame walravens lives down in [the old town]6943-the old town , [Numero 3]62-numero 10 , [Rue des Mages]6944-rue des mages . [I]190-madame fear [you]0-i will find the walk rather long , but [you]0-i have the whole afternoon before [you]0-i , and do not hurry ; if [you]0-i are not back in time for dinner , [I]190-madame will order a portion to be saved , or [Goton]276-goton , with whom [you]0-i are a favourite , will have pleasure in tossing up some trifle , for [your]0-i especial benefit . [You]0-i shall not be forgotten , ma bonne Meess . And oh ! please ! "[190-madame] calling [me]0-i back once more " be sure to insist on seeing [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens [herself]424-madame walravens , and giving the basket into [her]424-madame walravens own hands , in order that there may be no mistake , for [she]424-madame walravens is rather [a punctilious personage]6945-a punctilious personage . Adieu ! Au revoir ! "[190-madame] And at last [I]0-i got away . [The shop]3511-the shop commissions took some time to execute , that choosing and matching of silks and wools being always a tedious business , but at last [I]0-i got through [my]0-i list . The patterns for the slippers , the bell - ropes , the cabas were selected - the slides and tassels for the purses chosen - the whole " tripotage , "[0-i] in short , was off [my]0-i mind ; nothing but the fruit and the felicitations remained to be attended to . [I]0-i rather liked the prospect of a long walk , deep into the old and grim [Basse - Ville]74-the basse - ville ; and [I]0-i liked it no worse because the evening sky , over [the city]4429-the city , was settling into a mass of black - blue metal , heated at the rim , and inflaming slowly to a heavy red . [I]0-i fear a high wind , because storm demands that exertion of strength and use of action [I]0-i always yield with pain ; but the sullen down - fall , the thick snow - descent , or dark rush of rain , ask only resignation - the quiet abandonment of garments and [person]3513-person to be , drenched . In return , it sweeps a great capital clean before [you]3514-you ; it makes [you]3514-you a quiet path through [broad , grand streets]3515-broad , grand streets ; it petrifies [a living city]3516-a living city as if by eastern enchantment ; it transforms [a Villette]3517-a villette into [a Tadmor]3518-a tadmor . Let , then , the rains fall , and the floods descend - only [I]0-i must first get rid of this basket of fruit . An unknown clock from [an unknown tower]3519-an unknown tower [Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste 's voice was now too distant to be audible was tolling the third quarter past five , when [I]0-i reached [that street]3503-that street and house whereof [Madame Beck]190-madame had given [me]0-i the address . It was [no street]3521-no street at all ; [it]3522-it seemed rather to be part of [a square]3523-a square : [it]3522-it was quiet , grass grew between the broad grey flags , [the houses]3524-the houses were large and looked very old - behind [them]3524-the houses rose the appearance of trees , indicating [gardens at the back]3525-gardens at the back . [Antiquity]425-antiquity brooded above [this region]3526-this region , business was banished thence . [Rich men]3527-rich men had once possessed [this quarter]1398-this quarter , and once grandeur had made [her]3529-her seat [here]4212-here . [That church]3531-that church , whose dark , half - ruinous turrets overlooked [the square]3532-the square , was [the venerable and formerly opulent shrine of [the Magi]3534-the magi]3533-the venerable and formerly opulent shrine of the magi . But wealth and greatness had long since stretched [their]3535-their gilded pinions and fled hence , leaving [these]2185-these [[their]3535-their ancient nests]3537-their ancient nests , perhaps to [house Penury]3538-house penury for a time , or perhaps to stand cold and empty , mouldering untenanted in the course of winters . As [I]0-i crossed [this deserted " place]6946-this deserted " place , "[0-i] on whose pavement drops almost as large as a five - franc piece were now slowly darkening , [I]0-i saw , in [its]3539-its whole expanse , no symptom or evidence of life , except what was given in the figure of [an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay]3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay . [He]3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay had issued from [the very house to which [I]0-i was directed]3541-the very house to which i was directed ; and when [I]0-i paused before the door just closed after [him]3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay , and rang the bell , [he]3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay turned to look at [me]0-i . Nor did [he]3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay soon avert [his]3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay gaze ; perhaps [he]3540-an infirm old priest , who went past , bending and propped on a staff - the type of eld and decay thought [me]0-i , with [my]0-i basket of summer fruit , and [my]0-i lack of the dignity age confers , [an incongruous figure in such a scene]3542-an incongruous figure in such a scene . [I]0-i know , had [a young ruddy - faced bonne]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne opened the door to admit [me]0-i , [I]0-i should have thought such a one little in harmony with [[her]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne dwelling]3544-her dwelling ; but , when [I]0-i found [myself]0-i confronted by [a very old woman , wearing a very antique peasant costume , a cap alike hideous and costly , with long flaps of native lace , a petticoat and jacket of cloth , and sabots more like little boats]3545-a very old woman , wearing a very antique peasant costume , a cap alike hideous and costly , with long flaps of native lace , a petticoat and jacket of cloth , and sabots more like little boats than shoes , it seemed all right , and soothingly in character . The expression of [her]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne face was not quite so soothing as the cut of [her]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne costume ; anything more cantankerous [I]0-i have seldom seen ; [she]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne would scarcely reply to [my]0-i inquiry after [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens ; [I]0-i believe [she]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne would have snatched the basket of fruit from [my]0-i hand , had not [the old priest]3546-the old priest , hobbling up , checked [her]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne , and [himself]3546-the old priest lent an ear to the message with which [I]0-i was charged . [His]3546-the old priest apparent deafness rendered it a little difficult to make [him]3546-the old priest fully understand that [I]0-i must see [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens , and consign the fruit into [her]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne own hands . At last , however , [he]3546-the old priest comprehended the fact that such were [my]0-i orders , and that duty enjoined their literal fulfilment . Addressing [the aged bonne]3547-the aged bonne , not in French , but in the aboriginal tongue of [Labassecour]304-prince of labassecour , [he]3546-the old priest persuaded [her]3543-a young ruddy - faced bonne , at last , to let [me]0-i cross the inhospitable threshold , and [himself]3546-the old priest escorting [me]0-i up - [stairs]593-stairs , [I]0-i was ushered into a sort of salon , and there left . [The room]600-the room was large , and had a fine old ceiling , and almost church - like windows of coloured - glass ; but [it]600-the room was desolate , and in the shadow of a coming storm , looked strangely lowering . Within - opened [a smaller room]3550-a smaller room ; there , however , the blind of the single casement was closed ; through the deep gloom few details of furniture were apparent . These few [I]0-i amused [myself]0-i by puzzling to make out ; and , in particular , [I]0-i was attracted by the outline of a picture on the wall . By - and - by the picture seemed to give way : to [my]0-i bewilderment , it shook , it sunk , it rolled back into nothing ; [its]600-the room vanishing left an opening arched , leading into [an arched passage]3551-an arched passage , with [a mystic winding stair]3552-a mystic winding stair ; [both passage]3553-both passage and [stair]3554-stair were of cold stone , uncarpeted and unpainted . Down [this donjon stair]3555-this donjon stair descended a tap , tap , like a stick ; soon there fell on the steps a shadow , and last of all , [I]0-i was aware of a substance . Yet , was it actual substance , this appearance approaching [me]0-i ? this obstruction , partially darkening the arch ? It drew near , and [I]0-i saw it well . [I]0-i began to comprehend where [I]0-i was . Well might [this old square]3556-this old square be named [quarter of [the Magi]105-the magi]3557-quarter of the magi - well might [the three towers]3558-the three towers , overlooking [it]3556-this old square , own for [godfathers three mystic sages of a dead and dark art]3559-godfathers three mystic sages of a dead and dark art . Hoar enchantment here prevailed ; a spell had opened for [[me]0-i elf - land]3560-me elf - land - [that cell - like room]3561-that cell - like room , that vanishing picture , that arch and passage , and stair of stone , were all parts of a fairy tale . Distincter even than these scenic details stood [the chief figure]3562-the chief figure - [Cunegonde]426-cunegonde , [the sorceress]3563-the sorceress ! [Malevola]427-malevola , [the evil fairy]3564-the evil fairy . How was [she]3562-the chief figure ? [She]3562-the chief figure might be three feet high , but [she]3562-the chief figure had no shape ; [her]3562-the chief figure skinny hands rested upon each other , and pressed the gold knob of a wand - like ivory staff . [Her]3562-the chief figure face was large , set , not upon [her]3562-the chief figure shoulders , but before [her]3562-the chief figure breast ; [she]3562-the chief figure seemed to have no neck ; [I]0-i should have said there were a hundred years in [her]3562-the chief figure features , and more perhaps in [her]3562-the chief figure eyes - [her]3562-the chief figure malign , unfriendly eyes , with thick grey brows above , and livid lids all round . How severely [they]3565-they viewed [me]0-i , with a sort of dull displeasure ! [This being]2534-this being wore a gown of brocade , dyed bright blue , full - tinted as the gentianella flower , and covered with satin foliage in a large pattern ; over the gown a costly shawl , gorgeously bordered , and so large for [her]3562-the chief figure , that its many - coloured fringe swept the floor . But [her]3562-the chief figure chief points were [her]3562-the chief figure jewels : [she]3562-the chief figure had long , clear earrings , blazing with a lustre which could not be borrowed or false ; [she]3562-the chief figure had rings on [her]3562-the chief figure skeleton hands , with thick gold hoops , and stones - purple , green , and blood - red . Hunchbacked , dwarfish , and doting , [she]3562-the chief figure was adorned like [a barbarian queen]3567-a barbarian queen . " Que [me]3562-the chief figure voulez - vous ? "[3562-the chief figure] said [she]3562-the chief figure , hoarsely , with the voice rather of male than of female old age ; and , indeed , a silver beard bristled [her]3562-the chief figure chin . [I]0-i delivered [my]0-i basket and [my]0-i message . " Is that all ? "[3562-the chief figure] [she]3562-the chief figure demanded . " It is all , "[0-i] said [I.]0-i " Truly , it was well worth while , "[3562-the chief figure] [she]3562-the chief figure answered . " Return to [Madame Beck]190-madame , and tell [her]190-madame [I]3562-the chief figure can buy fruit when [I]3562-the chief figure want it , et quant a ses felicitations , je m'en moque ! "[3562-the chief figure] And [this courteous dame]3568-this courteous dame turned [her]3562-the chief figure back . Just as [she]3562-the chief figure turned , a peal of thunder broke , and a flash of lightning blazed broad over salon and boudoir . The tale of magic seemed to proceed with due accompaniment of the elements . [The wanderer]3569-the wanderer , decoyed into [the enchanted castle]3570-the enchanted castle , heard rising , outside , the spell - wakened tempest . What , in all this , was [I]0-i to think of [Madame Beck]190-madame ? [She]190-madame owned strange acquaintance ; [she]190-madame offered messages and gifts at an unique shrine , and inauspicious seemed the bearing of the uncouth thing [she]190-madame worshipped . There went that sullen [Sidonia]428-sidonia , tottering and trembling like palsy incarnate , tapping [her]190-madame ivory staff on the mosaic parquet , and muttering venomously as [she]190-madame vanished . Down washed the rain , deep lowered the welkin ; the clouds , ruddy a while ago , had now , through all their blackness , turned deadly pale , as if in terror . Notwithstanding [my]0-i late boast about not fearing a shower , [I]0-i hardly liked to go out under this waterspout . Then the gleams of lightning were very fierce , the thunder crashed very near ; this storm had gathered immediately above [Villette]3-villette ; it seemed to have burst at the zenith ; it rushed down prone ; the forked , slant bolts pierced athwart vertical torrents ; red zigzags interlaced a descent blanched as white metal : and all broke from a sky heavily black in its swollen abundance . Leaving [[Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens ' inhospitable salon]3571-madame walravens ' inhospitable salon , [I]0-i betook [myself]0-i to [[her]424-madame walravens cold staircase]3572-her cold staircase ; there was a seat on [the landing]3573-the landing - there [I]0-i waited . [Somebody]4307-somebody came gliding along [the gallery just above]3575-the gallery just above ; it was [the old priest]3546-the old priest . " Indeed [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle shall not sit [there]512-there , "[3546-the old priest] said [he]3546-the old priest . " It would displeasure [[our]6948-our benefactor]6949-our benefactor if [he]6949-our benefactor knew [a stranger]874-a stranger was so treated in [this house]5145-this house . "[3546-the old priest] And [he]3546-the old priest begged [me]0-i so earnestly to return to [the salon]1040-the salon , that , without discourtesy , [I]0-i could not but comply . [The smaller room]3578-the smaller room was better furnished and more habitable than the larger ; thither [he]3546-the old priest introduced [me]0-i . Partially withdrawing the blind , [he]3546-the old priest disclosed what seemed more like [an oratory]3579-an oratory than [a boudoir]3580-a boudoir , [a very solemn little chamber]3581-a very solemn little chamber , looking as if [it]3581-a very solemn little chamber were [a place rather dedicated to relics and remembrance , than designed for present use and comfort]3582-a place rather dedicated to relics and remembrance , than designed for present use and comfort . [The good father]5714-the good father sat down , as if to keep [me]0-i company ; but instead of conversing , [he]3546-the old priest took out a book , fastened on the page [his]3546-the old priest eyes , and employed [his]3546-the old priest lips in whispering - what sounded like a prayer or litany . A yellow electric light from the sky gilded [his]3546-the old priest bald head ; [his]3546-the old priest figure remained in shade - deep and purple ; [he]3546-the old priest sat still as sculpture ; [he]3546-the old priest seemed to forget [me]0-i for [his]3546-the old priest prayers ; [he]3546-the old priest only looked up when a fiercer bolt , or a harsher , closer rattle told of nearing danger ; even then , it was not in fear , but in seeming awe , [he]3546-the old priest raised [his]3546-the old priest eyes . [I]0-i too was awe - struck ; being , however , under no pressure of slavish terror , [my]0-i thoughts and observations were free . To speak truth , [I]0-i was beginning to fancy that [the old priest]3546-the old priest resembled that [Pere Silas]289-pere silas , before whom [I]0-i had kneeled in [the church of the Beguinage]3585-the church of the beguinage . The idea was vague , for [I]0-i had seen [[my]0-i confessor]3586-my confessor only in dusk and in profile , yet still [I]0-i seemed to trace a likeness : [I]0-i thought also [I]0-i recognized the voice . While [I]0-i watched [him]3546-the old priest , [he]3546-the old priest betrayed , by one lifted look , that [he]3546-the old priest felt [my]0-i scrutiny ; [I]0-i turned to note [the room]600-the room ; that too had its half mystic interest . Beside a cross of curiously carved old ivory , yellow with time , and sloped above a dark - red prie - dieu , furnished duly , with rich missal and ebon rosary - hung the picture whose dim outline had drawn [my]0-i eyes before - the picture which moved , fell away with the wall and let in phantoms . Imperfectly seen , [I]0-i had taken it for a Madonna ; revealed by clearer light , it proved to be [a woman]4363-a woman 's portrait in [a nun]6121-a nun 's dress . The face , though not beautiful , was pleasing ; pale , young , and shaded with the dejection of grief or ill health . [I]0-i say again it was not beautiful ; it was not even intellectual ; its very amiability was the amiability of a weak frame , inactive passions , acquiescent habits : yet [I]0-i looked long at that picture , and could not choose but look . [The old priest]3546-the old priest , who at first had seemed to [me]0-i so deaf and infirm , must yet have retained [his]3546-the old priest faculties in tolerable preservation ; absorbed in [his]3546-the old priest book as [he]3546-the old priest appeared , without once lifting [his]3546-the old priest head , or , as far as [I]0-i knew , turning [his]3546-the old priest eyes , [he]3546-the old priest perceived the point towards which [my]0-i attention was drawn , and , in a slow distinct voice , dropped , concerning it , these four observations : - " [She]3591-she was much beloved . "[3591-she] [She]3591-she gave [herself]3591-she to [God]164-god . " [She]3591-she died young . "[3591-she] [She]3591-she is still remembered , still wept . " "[3591-she] By [that aged lady]3592-that aged lady , [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens ? " [I]3592-that aged lady inquired , fancying that [I]3592-that aged lady had discovered in the incurable grief of bereavement , a key to [that same aged lady]6952-that same aged lady 's desperate ill - humour . [The father]2571-the father shook [his]2571-the father head with half a smile . "[3592-that aged lady] No , no , " said [he]2571-the father ; "[3592-that aged lady] [a grand - dame]3593-a grand - dame 's affection for [[her]3593-a grand - dame children 's children]3594-her children 's children may be great , and [her]3593-a grand - dame sorrow for [their]3594-her children 's children loss , lively ; but it is only the affianced lover , to whom Fate , Faith , and [Death]277-death have trebly denied the bliss of union , who mourns what [he]3595-he has lost , as [Justine Marie]429-justine marie is still mourned . " [I]429-justine marie thought [the father]2571-the father rather wished to be questioned , and therefore [I]429-justine marie inquired who had lost and who still mourned "[429-justine marie] [Justine Marie]429-justine marie . " [I]429-justine marie got , in reply , quite a little romantic narrative , told not unimpressively , with the accompaniment of the now subsiding storm . [I]429-justine marie am bound to say it might have been made much more truly impressive , if there had been less French , [Rousseau]430-rousseau - like sentimentalizing and wire - drawing ; and rather more healthful carelessness of effect . But [the worthy father]6955-the worthy father was obviously [a Frenchman born and bred]6956-a frenchman born and bred [I]429-justine marie became more and more persuaded of [his]2571-the father resemblance to [[my]429-justine marie confessor]3586-my confessor - [he]2571-the father was [a true son of [Rome]54-rome]6958-a true son of rome ; when [he]2571-the father did lift [his]2571-the father eyes , [he]2571-the father looked at [me]429-justine marie out of their corners , with more and sharper subtlety than , one would have thought , could survive the wear and tear of seventy years . Yet , [I]429-justine marie believe , [he]2571-the father was [a good old man]5705-a good old man . [The hero of [his]2571-the father tale]6960-the hero of his tale was [some former pupil of [his]2571-the father , whom [he]2571-the father now called [[his]2571-the father benefactor]6962-his benefactor , and who , it appears , had loved this pale [Justine Marie]429-justine marie , [the daughter of [rich parents]6964-rich parents]6963-the daughter of rich parents , at a time when [his]2571-the father own worldly prospects were such as to justify [his]2571-the father aspiring to [a well - dowered hand]6965-a well - dowered hand]6961-some former pupil of his , whom he now called his benefactor , and who , it appears , had loved this pale justine marie , the daughter of rich parents , at a time when his own worldly prospects were such as to justify his aspiring to a well - dowered hand . [[The pupil]6966-the pupil 's father]6967-the pupil 's father - once [a rich banker]6968-a rich banker - had failed , died , and left behind [him]2571-the father only debts and destitution . [The son]6331-the son was then forbidden to think of [Marie]429-justine marie ; especially [that old witch of [a grand - dame [I]429-justine marie had seen]6971-a grand - dame i had seen]6970-that old witch of a grand - dame i had seen , [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens , opposed the match with all the violence of a temper which deformity made sometimes demoniac . [The mild Marie]429-justine marie had neither the treachery to be false , nor the force to be quite staunch to [[her]429-justine marie lover]5767-her lover ; [she]429-justine marie gave up [[her]429-justine marie first suitor]6973-her first suitor , but , refusing to accept a second with a heavier purse , withdrew to [a convent]1396-a convent , and there died in [[her]429-justine marie noviciate]6975-her noviciate . Lasting anguish , it seems , had taken possession of the faithful heart which worshipped [her]429-justine marie , and the truth of that love and grief had been shown in a manner which touched even [me]429-justine marie , as [I]429-justine marie listened . Some years after [Justine Marie]429-justine marie 's death , ruin had come on [[her]429-justine marie house]6212-her house too : [[her]429-justine marie father]643-her father , by nominal calling [a jeweller]6978-a jeweller , but who also dealt a good deal on the Bourse , had been concerned in some financial transactions which entailed exposure and ruinous fines . [He]643-her father died of grief for the loss , and shame for the infamy . [[His]643-her father old hunchbacked mother]6979-his old hunchbacked mother and [[his]643-her father bereaved wife]6980-his bereaved wife were left penniless , and might have died too of want ; but [[their]6981-their lost daughter 's once - despised , yet most true- hearted suitor , hearing of the condition of [these ladies]6983-these ladies]6982-their lost daughter 's once - despised , yet most true- hearted suitor , hearing of the condition of these ladies , came with singular devotedness to the rescue . [He]643-her father took on [their]6983-these ladies insolent pride the revenge of the purest charity - housing , caring for , befriending [them]6983-these ladies , so as [no son]6984-no son could have done it more tenderly and efficiently . [The mother]881-the mother - on the whole [a good woman]6986-a good woman - died blessing [him]643-her father ; [the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother]6987-the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother lived still , entirely supported by [this self - sacrificing man]6988-this self - sacrificing man . [Her]6987-the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother , who had been the bane of [his]643-her father life , blighting [his]643-her father hope , and awarding [him]643-her father , for love and domestic happiness , long mourning and cheerless solitude , [he]643-her father treated with the respect [a good son]6989-a good son might offer [a kind mother]6990-a kind mother . [He]643-her father had brought [her]6987-the strange , godless , loveless , misanthrope grandmother to [this house]5145-this house , "[429-justine marie] and , " continued [the priest]4890-the priest , while genuine tears rose to [his]4890-the priest eyes , "[3596-he] here , too , [he]3596-he shelters [me]0-i , [[his]3596-he old tutor]3597-his old tutor , and [Agnes]432-agnes , [a superannuated servant of [[his]3596-he father 's family]3599-his father 's family]3598-a superannuated servant of his father 's family . To [our]3600-our sustenance , and to other charities , [I]0-i know [he]3596-he devotes three - parts of [his]3596-he income , keeping only the fourth to provide [himself]3596-he with bread and the most modest accommodations . By this arrangement [he]3596-he has rendered it impossible to [himself]3596-he ever to marry : [he]3596-he has given [himself]3596-he to [God]164-god and to [[his]3596-he angel - bride]3601-his angel - bride as much as if [he]3596-he were [a priest]5700-a priest , like [me]0-i . " [The father]2571-the father had wiped away [his]2571-the father tears before [he]2571-the father uttered these last words , and in pronouncing them , [he]2571-the father for one instant raised [his]2571-the father eyes to [mine]0-i . [I]261-mademoiselle caught this glance , despite its veiled character ; the momentary gleam shot a meaning which struck [me]261-mademoiselle . [These Romanists]6994-these romanists are [strange beings]6995-strange beings . [Such a one among [them]6994-these romanists]6996-such a one among them - whom [you]6997-you know no more than [the last Inca of [Peru]106-peru]6998-the last inca of peru , or [the first Emperor of [China]20-china]6999-the first emperor of china - knows [you]6997-you and all [your]6997-you concerns ; and has [his]6996-such a one among them reasons for saying to [you]6997-you so and so , when [you]6997-you simply thought the communication sprang impromptu from the instant 's impulse : [his]6996-such a one among them plan in bringing it about that [you]6997-you shall come on such a day , to such a place , under such and such circumstances , when the whole arrangement seems to [your]6997-you crude apprehension the ordinance of chance , or the sequel of exigency . [Madame Beck]190-madame 's suddenly - recollected message and present , [my]261-mademoiselle artless embassy to [the Place of [the Magi]3534-the magi]7000-the place of the magi , [the old priest]3546-the old priest accidentally descending the steps and crossing [the square]3532-the square , [his]6996-such a one among them interposition on [my]261-mademoiselle behalf with [the bonne who would have sent [me]261-mademoiselle away]7004-the bonne who would have sent me away , [his]6996-such a one among them reappearance on [the staircase]2466-the staircase , [my]261-mademoiselle introduction to [this room]740-this room , the portrait , the narrative so affably volunteered - all these little incidents , taken as they fell out , seemed each independent of its successor ; a handful of loose beads : but threaded through by that quick - shot and crafty glance of [a Jesuit - eye]7007-a jesuit - eye , they dropped pendent in a long string , like that rosary on the prie - dieu . Where lay the link of junction , where the little clasp of this monastic necklace ? [I]261-mademoiselle saw or felt union , but could not yet find the spot , or detect the means of connection . Perhaps the musing - fit into which [I]261-mademoiselle had by this time fallen , appeared somewhat suspicious in its abstraction ; [he]0-i gently interrupted : "[261-mademoiselle] [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , " said [he]0-i , "[261-mademoiselle] [I]0-i trust [you]261-mademoiselle have not far to go through [these inundated streets]3603-these inundated streets ? " "[261-mademoiselle] More than half a league . " "[261-mademoiselle] [You]261-mademoiselle live - - ? " "[261-mademoiselle] In [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette . " "[261-mademoiselle] Not " with animation , "[433-donc] not at [the pensionnat of [Madame Beck]190-madame]3605-the pensionnat of madame beck ? " "[190-madame] The same . " "[190-madame] [Donc]433-donc " clapping [his]0-i hands , "[190-madame] donc , vous devez connaitre mon noble eleve , [mon Paul]196-m. paul ? " "[196-m. paul] [Monsieur Paul Emanuel]384-monsieur paul , [Professor of Literature]5240-professor of literature ? " "[384-monsieur paul] [He]384-monsieur paul and [none other]4303-none other . " A brief silence fell . The spring of junction seemed suddenly to have become palpable ; [I]384-monsieur paul felt it yield to pressure . "[384-monsieur paul] Was it of [M. Paul]196-m. paul [you]261-mademoiselle have been speaking ? " [I]196-m. paul presently inquired . "[196-m. paul] Was [he]384-monsieur paul [[your]261-mademoiselle pupil]3608-your pupil and [the benefactor of [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens]3609-the benefactor of madame walravens ? " "[384-monsieur paul] Yes , and of [Agnes]432-agnes , [the old servant]3610-the old servant : and moreover , with a certain emphasis , [he]384-monsieur paul was and is [the lover , true , constant and eternal , of [that saint in [heaven -]3613-heaven - [Justine Marie]429-justine marie]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie]3611-the lover , true , constant and eternal , of that saint in heaven - justine marie . " "[429-justine marie] And who , [father]1803-father , are [you]1803-father ? " [I]1803-father continued ; and though [I]1803-father accentuated the question , its utterance was well nigh superfluous ; [I]1803-father was ere this quite prepared for the answer which actually came . "[1803-father] [I]0-i , [daughter]3615-daughter , am [Pere Silas]289-pere silas ; [that unworthy son of [Holy Church]3617-holy church whom [you]3615-daughter once honoured with a noble and touching confidence , showing [me]0-i the core of a heart , and the inner shrine of a mind whereof , in solemn truth , [I]0-i coveted the direction , in behalf of the only true faith]3616-that unworthy son of holy church whom you once honoured with a noble and touching confidence , showing me the core of a heart , and the inner shrine of a mind whereof , in solemn truth , i coveted the direction , in behalf of the only true faith . Nor have [I]0-i for a day lost sight of [you]3615-daughter , nor for an hour failed to take in [you]3615-daughter a rooted interest . Passed under the discipline of [Rome]54-rome , moulded by [her]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie high training , inoculated with [her]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie salutary doctrines , inspired by the zeal [she]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie alone gives - [I]0-i realize what then might be [your]3615-daughter spiritual rank , [your]3615-daughter practical value ; and [I]0-i envy [Heresy]434-heresy [her]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie prey . " This struck [me]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie as a special state of things - [I]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie half - realized [myself]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie in that condition also ; passed under discipline , moulded , trained , inoculated , and so on . "[3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie] Not so , " thought [I]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie , but [I]3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie restrained deprecation , and sat quietly enough . "[3612-that saint in heaven - justine marie] [I]0-i suppose M. [Paul]196-m. paul does not live [here]4212-here ? " [I]196-m. paul resumed , pursuing a theme which [I]196-m. paul thought more to the purpose than any wild renegade dreams . "[196-m. paul] No ; [he]196-m. paul only comes occasionally to worship [[his]196-m. paul beloved saint]3619-his beloved saint , to make [his]196-m. paul confession to [me]0-i , and to pay [his]196-m. paul respects to [her]3619-his beloved saint [he]196-m. paul calls [[his]196-m. paul mother]534-his mother . [[His]196-m. paul own lodging]3621-his own lodging consists but of [two rooms]3622-two rooms : [he]196-m. paul has [no servant]3623-no servant , and yet [he]196-m. paul will not suffer [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens to dispose of those splendid jewels with which [you]3624-you see [her]3619-his beloved saint adorned , and in which [she]3619-his beloved saint takes a puerile pride as the ornaments of [her]3619-his beloved saint youth , and the last relics of [[her]3619-his beloved saint son]532-her son [the jeweller]3626-the jeweller 's wealth . " "[3628-this m. emanuel] How often , " murmured [I]3628-this m. emanuel to [myself]3628-this m. emanuel , "[3628-this m. emanuel] has [this man]4628-this man , [this M. Emanuel]3628-this m. emanuel , seemed to [me]0-i to lack magnanimity in trifles , yet how great [he]4628-this man is in great things ! " [I]4628-this man own [I]4628-this man did not reckon amongst the proofs of [his]4628-this man greatness , either the act of confession , or the saint - worship . "[4628-this man] How long is it since [that lady]577-that lady died ? " [I]577-that lady inquired , looking at [Justine Marie]429-justine marie . "[577-that lady] Twenty years . [She]577-that lady was somewhat older than [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul ; [he]4628-this man was then very young , for [he]4628-this man is not much beyond forty . " "[4628-this man] Does [he]4628-this man yet weep [her]577-that lady ? " "[4628-this man] [His]4628-this man heart will weep [her]577-that lady always : the essence of [Emanuel]196-m. paul 's nature is - constancy . " This was said with marked emphasis . And now the sun broke out pallid and waterish ; the rain yet fell , but there was no more tempest : that hot firmament had cloven and poured out its lightnings . A longer delay would scarce leave daylight for [my]4628-this man return , so [I]4628-this man rose , thanked [the father]2571-the father for [his]2571-the father hospitality and [his]2571-the father tale , was benignantly answered by a "[4628-this man] pax vobiscum , " which [I]4628-this man made kindly welcome , because it seemed uttered with a true benevolence ; but [I]4628-this man liked less the mystic phrase accompanying it . "[4628-this man] [Daughter]3615-daughter , [you]3615-daughter shall be what [you]3615-daughter shall be ! " an oracle that made [me]3615-daughter shrug [my]3615-daughter shoulders as soon as [I]3615-daughter had got outside the door . [Few of [us]7010-us]7009-few of us know what [we]7010-us are to come to certainly , but for all that had happened yet , [I]3615-daughter had good hopes of living and dying [a sober - minded Protestant]7011-a sober - minded protestant : there was a hollowness within , and a flourish around "[3615-daughter] [Holy Church]3617-holy church " which tempted [me]4628-this man but moderately . [I]4628-this man went on [my]4628-this man way pondering many things . Whatever Romanism may be , there are [good Romanists]7012-good romanists : [this man]4628-this man , [Emanuel]196-m. paul , seemed of the best ; touched with superstition , influenced by priestcraft , yet wondrous for fond faith , for pious devotion , for sacrifice of self , for charity unbounded . It remained to see how [Rome]54-rome , by [[her]7014-her agents]7015-her agents , handled such qualities ; whether [she]7014-her cherished them for [their]7015-her agents own sake and for [God]164-god 's , or put them out to [usury]7016-usury and made booty of the interest . By the time [I]4628-this man reached [home]542-home , it was sundown . [Goton]276-goton had kindly saved [me]4628-this man a portion of dinner , which indeed [I]4628-this man needed . [She]276-goton called [me]4628-this man into the little cabinet to partake of it , and there [Madame Beck]190-madame soon made [her]190-madame appearance , bringing [me]4628-this man a glass of wine . "[4628-this man] Well , " began [she]190-madame , chuckling , "[4628-this man] and what sort of a reception did [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens give [you]3632-you ? Elle est drole , n'est - ce pas ? " [I]0-i told [her]190-madame what had passed , delivering verbatim the courteous message with which [I]0-i had been charged . "[0-i] Oh la singuliere petite bossue ! " laughed [she]190-madame . "[0-i] Et figurez - vous qu'elle [me]0-i deteste , parcequ'elle [me]0-i croit amoureuse de [mon cousin Paul]196-m. paul ; ce petit devot qui n'ose pas bouger , a moins que [son confesseur]3633-son confesseur ne lui donne la permission ! Au reste " [she]190-madame went on , "[3633-son confesseur] if [he]3634-he wanted to marry ever so much - soit moi , soit une autre - [he]3634-he could not do it ; [he]3634-he has too large [a family]3635-a family already on [his]3634-he hands : [Mere Walravens]435-mere walravens , [Pere Silas]289-pere silas , [Dame Agnes]432-agnes , and [a whole troop of [nameless paupers]3637-nameless paupers]3636-a whole troop of nameless paupers . There never was [a man like [him]3634-he]3638-a man like him for laying on [himself]3634-he burdens greater than [he]3634-he can bear , voluntarily incurring needless responsibilities . Besides , [he]3634-he harbours a romantic idea about some pale - faced Marie Justine - personnage assez niaise a ce que je pense " such was [Madame]424-madame walravens 's irreverent remark , "[3634-he] who has been [an angel in heaven]3639-an angel in heaven , or elsewhere , this score of years , and to whom [he]3634-he means to go , free from all earthly ties , pure comme un lis , a ce qu'il dit . Oh , [you]3640-you would laugh could [you]3640-you but know half M. [Emanuel]196-m. paul 's crotchets and eccentricities ! But [I]0-i hinder [you]3640-you from taking refreshment , ma bonne Meess , which [you]3640-you must need ; eat [your]3640-you supper , drink [your]3640-you wine , oubliez les anges , les bossues , et surtout , [les Professeurs]3641-les professeurs - et bon soir ! " CHAPTER XXXV FRATERNITY . "[3641-les professeurs] Oubliez les Professeurs . " So said [Madame Beck]190-madame . [Madame Beck]190-madame was [a wise woman]7018-a wise woman , but [she]190-madame should not have uttered those words . To do so was a mistake . That night [she]190-madame should have left [me]3641-les professeurs calm - not excited , indifferent , not interested , isolated in [my]3641-les professeurs own estimation and that of [others]770-others - not connected , even in idea , with [this second person whom [I]3641-les professeurs was to forget]7020-this second person whom i was to forget . Forget [him]7020-this second person whom i was to forget ? Ah ! [they]3641-les professeurs took a sage plan to make [me]3641-les professeurs forget [him]7020-this second person whom i was to forget - the wiseheads ! [They]3641-les professeurs showed [me]3641-les professeurs how good [he]7020-this second person whom i was to forget was ; [they]3641-les professeurs made of [[my]3641-les professeurs dear little man]7021-my dear little man [a stainless little hero]7022-a stainless little hero . And then [they]3641-les professeurs had prated about [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget manner of loving . What means had [I]3641-les professeurs , before this day , of being certain whether [he]7020-this second person whom i was to forget could love at all or not ? [I]3641-les professeurs had known [him]7020-this second person whom i was to forget jealous , suspicious ; [I]3641-les professeurs had seen about [him]7020-this second person whom i was to forget certain tendernesses , fitfulnesses - a softness which came like a warm air , and a ruth which passed like early dew , dried in the heat of [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget irritabilities : this was all [I]3641-les professeurs had seen . And [they]3641-les professeurs , [Pere Silas]289-pere silas and [Modeste Maria Beck]204-modeste maria beck that these two wrought in concert [I]3641-les professeurs could not doubt opened up the adytum of [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget heart - showed [me]3641-les professeurs one grand love , [the child of this southern nature 's youth , born so strong and perfect]7023-the child of this southern nature 's youth , born so strong and perfect , that it had laughed at [Death]277-death [himself]7020-this second person whom i was to forget , despised [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget mean rape of matter , clung to immortal spirit , and in victory and faith , had watched beside [a tomb]5469-a tomb twenty years . This had been done - not idly : this was not a mere hollow indulgence of sentiment ; [he]7020-this second person whom i was to forget had proven [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget fidelity by the consecration of [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget best energies to an unselfish purpose , and attested it by limitless personal sacrifices : for those once dear to [her]204-modeste maria beck [he]7020-this second person whom i was to forget prized - [he]7020-this second person whom i was to forget had laid down vengeance , and taken up a cross . Now , as for [Justine Marie]429-justine marie , [I]3641-les professeurs knew what [she]429-justine marie was as well as if [I]3641-les professeurs had seen [her]429-justine marie . [I]3641-les professeurs knew [she]429-justine marie was well enough ; there were [girls like [her]429-justine marie in [[Madame Beck]190-madame 's school]7026-madame beck 's school]7025-girls like her in madame beck 's school - phlegmatics - pale , slow , inert , but kind- natured , neutral of evil , undistinguished for good . If [she]429-justine marie wore angels ' wings , [I]3641-les professeurs knew whose poet - fancy conferred them . If [her]429-justine marie forehead shone luminous with the reflex of a halo , [I]3641-les professeurs knew in the fire of whose irids that circlet of holy flame had generation . Was [I]3641-les professeurs , then , to be frightened by [Justine Marie]429-justine marie ? Was the picture of [a pale dead nun to rise , an eternal barrier]7027-a pale dead nun to rise , an eternal barrier ? And what of the charities which absorbed [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget worldly goods ? What of [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget heart sworn to virginity ? [Madame Beck]190-madame - [Pere Silas]289-pere silas - [you]7028-you should not have suggested these questions . They were at once the deepest puzzle , the strongest obstruction , and the keenest stimulus , [I]3641-les professeurs had ever felt . For a week of nights and days [I]3641-les professeurs fell asleep - [I]3641-les professeurs dreamt , and [I]3641-les professeurs woke upon these two questions . In [the whole world]4684-the whole world there was no answer to them , except where [one dark little man]7030-one dark little man stood , sat , walked , lectured , under the head - piece of [a bandit bonnet - grec , and within the girth of a sorry paletot , much be - inked , and no little adust]7031-a bandit bonnet - grec , and within the girth of a sorry paletot , much be - inked , and no little adust . After that visit to [the Rue des Mages]7032-the rue des mages , [I]3641-les professeurs did want to see [him]7020-this second person whom i was to forget again . [I]3641-les professeurs felt as if - knowing what [I]3641-les professeurs now knew - [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget countenance would offer a page more lucid , more interesting than ever ; [I]3641-les professeurs felt a longing to trace in it the imprint of that primitive devotedness , the signs of that half - knightly , half - saintly chivalry which [the priest]4890-the priest 's narrative imputed to [his]7020-this second person whom i was to forget nature . [He]7020-this second person whom i was to forget had become [[my]3641-les professeurs Christian hero]7034-my christian hero : under that character [I]3641-les professeurs wanted to view [him]7020-this second person whom i was to forget . Nor was opportunity slow to favour ; [my]3641-les professeurs new impressions underwent [her]7035-her test the next day . Yes : [I]3641-les professeurs was granted an interview with [[my]3641-les professeurs "[3641-les professeurs] Christian hero]7036-my " christian hero " - an interview not very heroic , or sentimental , or biblical , but lively enough in its way . About three o'clock of the afternoon , the peace of [the first classe]1533-the first classe - safely established , as it seemed , under the serene sway of [Madame Beck]190-madame , who , in propria persona was giving one of [her]190-madame orderly and useful lessons - this peace , [I]261-mademoiselle say , suffered a sudden fracture by the wild inburst of a paletot . [Nobody at the moment]7038-nobody at the moment was quieter than [myself]261-mademoiselle . Eased of responsibility by [Madame Beck]190-madame 's presence , soothed by [her]190-madame uniform tones , pleased and edified with [her]190-madame clear exposition of the subject in hand for [she]190-madame taught well , [I]261-mademoiselle sat bent over [my]261-mademoiselle desk , drawing - that is , copying an elaborate line engraving , tediously working up [my]261-mademoiselle copy to the finish of the original , for that was [my]261-mademoiselle practical notion of art ; and , strange to say , [I]261-mademoiselle took extreme pleasure in the labour , and could even produce curiously finical Chinese facsimiles of steel or mezzotint plates - things about as valuable as so many achievements in worsted - work , but [I]261-mademoiselle thought pretty well of them in those days . What was the matter ? [My]261-mademoiselle drawing , [my]261-mademoiselle pencils , [my]261-mademoiselle precious copy , gathered into one crushed - up handful , perished from before [my]261-mademoiselle sight ; [I]261-mademoiselle [myself]261-mademoiselle appeared to be shaken or emptied out of [my]261-mademoiselle chair , as a solitary and withered nutmeg might be emptied out of a spice - box by [an excited cook]7039-an excited cook . That chair and [my]261-mademoiselle desk , seized by the wild paletot , one under each sleeve , were borne afar ; in a second , [I]261-mademoiselle followed the furniture ; in two minutes [they]7040-they and [I]261-mademoiselle were fixed in the centre of [the grand salle]1620-the grand salle - [a vast adjoining room , seldom used save for dancing and choral singing - lessons - fixed with an emphasis which seemed to prohibit the remotest hope of [our]7043-our ever being permitted to stir thence again]7042-a vast adjoining room , seldom used save for dancing and choral singing - lessons - fixed with an emphasis which seemed to prohibit the remotest hope of our ever being permitted to stir thence again . Having partially collected [my]261-mademoiselle scared wits , [I]261-mademoiselle found [myself]261-mademoiselle in the presence of [two men]7044-two men , [gentlemen]4709-gentlemen , [I]261-mademoiselle suppose [I]261-mademoiselle should say - one dark , the other light - [one having a stiff , half - military air , and wearing a braided surtout]7046-one having a stiff , half - military air , and wearing a braided surtout ; [the other]641-the other partaking , in garb and bearing , more of the careless aspect of [the student or artist class]7048-the student or artist class : both flourishing in full magnificence of moustaches , whiskers , and imperial . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul stood a little apart from these ; [his]196-m. paul countenance and eyes expressed strong choler ; [he]196-m. paul held forth [his]196-m. paul hand with [his]196-m. paul tribune gesture . "[261-mademoiselle] [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , " said [he]196-m. paul , "[261-mademoiselle] [your]261-mademoiselle business is to prove to [these gentlemen]3642-these gentlemen that [I]0-i am [no liar]3643-no liar . [You]261-mademoiselle will answer , to the best of [your]261-mademoiselle ability , such questions as [they]3642-these gentlemen shall put . [You]261-mademoiselle will also write on such theme as [they]3642-these gentlemen shall select . In [their]3642-these gentlemen eyes , it appears , [I]0-i hold the position of [an unprincipled impostor]3644-an unprincipled impostor . [I]0-i write essays ; and , with deliberate forgery , sign to [them]3642-these gentlemen [[my]0-i pupils]3268-my pupils ' names , and boast of [them]3642-these gentlemen as [their]3642-these gentlemen work . [You]261-mademoiselle will disprove this charge . " Grand ciel ! Here was the show - trial , so long evaded , come on [me]261-mademoiselle like a thunder - clap . [These two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages]7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages , were [none other than [dandy professors of [the college]3012-the college]7051-dandy professors of the college]7050-none other than dandy professors of the college - [Messieurs Boissec]436-messieurs boissec and [Rochemorte]437-rochemorte - a pair of [cold - blooded fops]7053-cold - blooded fops and [pedants]7054-pedants , [sceptics]7055-sceptics , and [scoffers]7056-scoffers . It seems that [M. Paul]196-m. paul had been rashly exhibiting something [I]261-mademoiselle had written - something , [he]196-m. paul had never once praised , or even mentioned , in [my]261-mademoiselle hearing , and which [I]261-mademoiselle deemed forgotten . The essay was not remarkable at all ; it only seemed remarkable , compared with the average productions of [foreign school- girls]7057-foreign school- girls ; in an English establishment it would have passed scarce noticed . [Messieurs Boissec]436-messieurs boissec and [Rochemorte]437-rochemorte had thought proper to question its genuineness , and insinuate a cheat ; [I]261-mademoiselle was now to bear [my]261-mademoiselle testimony to the truth , and to be put to the torture of [their]7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages examination . A memorable scene ensued . [They]7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages began with classics . A dead blank . [They]7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages went on to French history . [I]261-mademoiselle hardly knew [Merovee]438-merovee from [Pharamond]439-pharamond . [They]7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages tried [me]261-mademoiselle in various ' ologies , and still only got a shake of the head , and an unchanging "[261-mademoiselle] Je n'en sais rien . " After an expressive pause , [they]7049-these two fine , braided , mustachioed , sneering personages proceeded to matters of general information , broaching one or two subjects which [I]261-mademoiselle knew pretty well , and on which [I]261-mademoiselle had often reflected . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , who had hitherto stood looking on , dark as the winter - solstice , brightened up somewhat ; [he]196-m. paul thought [I]261-mademoiselle should now show [myself]261-mademoiselle at least [no fool]7058-no fool . [He]196-m. paul learned [his]196-m. paul error . Though answers to the questions surged up fast , [my]261-mademoiselle mind filling like a rising well , ideas were there , but not words . [I]261-mademoiselle either could not , or would not speak - [I]261-mademoiselle am not sure which : partly , [I]261-mademoiselle think , [my]261-mademoiselle nerves had got wrong , and partly [my]261-mademoiselle humour was crossed . [I]261-mademoiselle heard [one of [[my]261-mademoiselle examiners]7060-my examiners]7059-one of my examiners - [he]7059-one of my examiners of the braided surtout - whisper to [[his]7059-one of my examiners co - professor]7061-his co - professor , "[261-mademoiselle] Est - elle donc idiote ? " "[261-mademoiselle] Yes , " [I]6289-an idiot thought , "[6289-an idiot] [an idiot]6289-an idiot [she]3647-i is , and always will be , for such as [you]3648-you . " But [I]3647-i suffered - suffered cruelly ; [I]3647-i saw the damps gather on [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's brow , and [his]196-m. paul eye spoke a passionate yet sad reproach . [He]196-m. paul would not believe in [my]3647-i total lack of popular cleverness ; [he]196-m. paul thought [I]3647-i could be prompt if [I]3647-i would . At last , to relieve [him]196-m. paul , [the professors]2949-the professors , and [myself]3647-i , [I]3647-i stammered out : "[3647-i] [Gentlemen]4709-gentlemen , [you]4709-gentlemen had better let [me]0-i go ; [you]4709-gentlemen will get no good of [me]0-i ; as [you]4709-gentlemen say , [I]0-i am [an idiot]6289-an idiot . " [I]6289-an idiot wish [I]6289-an idiot could have spoken with calm and dignity , or [I]6289-an idiot wish [my]6289-an idiot sense had sufficed to make [me]6289-an idiot hold [my]6289-an idiot tongue ; that traitor tongue tripped , faltered . Beholding [the judges]7063-the judges cast on [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul a hard look of triumph , and hearing the distressed tremor of [my]6289-an idiot own voice , out [I]6289-an idiot burst in a fit of choking tears . The emotion was far more of anger than grief ; had [I]6289-an idiot been [a man]823-a man and strong , [I]6289-an idiot could have challenged [that pair]7065-that pair on the spot - but it was emotion , and [I]6289-an idiot would rather have been scourged than betrayed it . [The incapables]7066-the incapables ! Could [they]7066-the incapables not see at once the crude hand of [a novice]7067-a novice in that composition [they]7066-the incapables called a forgery ? The subject was classical . When [M. Paul]196-m. paul dictated the trait on which the essay was to turn , [I]6289-an idiot heard it for the first time ; the matter was new to [me]6289-an idiot , and [I]6289-an idiot had no material for its treatment . But [I]6289-an idiot got books , read up the facts , laboriously constructed a skeleton out of the dry bones of the real , and then clothed them , and tried to breathe into [them]7066-the incapables life , and in this last aim [I]6289-an idiot had pleasure . With [me]6289-an idiot it was a difficult and anxious time till [my]6289-an idiot facts were found , selected , and properly jointed ; nor could [I]6289-an idiot rest from research and effort till [I]6289-an idiot was satisfied of correct anatomy ; the strength of [my]6289-an idiot inward repugnance to the idea of flaw or falsity sometimes enabled [me]6289-an idiot to shun egregious blunders ; but the knowledge was not there in [my]6289-an idiot head , ready and mellow ; it had not been sown in Spring , grown in Summer , harvested in Autumn , and garnered through Winter ; whatever [I]6289-an idiot wanted [I]6289-an idiot must go out and gather fresh ; glean of wild herbs [my]6289-an idiot lapful , and shred them green into the pot . [Messieurs Boissec]436-messieurs boissec and [Rochemorte]437-rochemorte did not perceive this . [They]7066-the incapables mistook [my]6289-an idiot work for the work of [a ripe scholar]7068-a ripe scholar . [They]7066-the incapables would not yet let [me]6289-an idiot go : [I]6289-an idiot must sit down and write before [them]7066-the incapables . As [I]6289-an idiot dipped [my]6289-an idiot pen in the ink with a shaking hand , and surveyed the white paper with eyes half - blinded and overflowing , [one of [[my]6289-an idiot judges]7070-my judges]7069-one of my judges began mincingly to apologize for the pain [he]7069-one of my judges caused . "[6289-an idiot] Nous agissons dans l'interet de la verite . Nous ne voulons pas vous blesser , " said [he]7069-one of my judges . Scorn gave [me]3651-monsieur nerve . [I]3651-monsieur only answered , - "[3651-monsieur] Dictate , [Monsieur]3651-monsieur . " [Rochemorte]437-rochemorte named this theme : "[3651-monsieur] [Human Justice]440-human justice . " [Human Justice]440-human justice ! What was [I]3652-pious mentors to make of it ? Blank , cold abstraction , unsuggestive to [me]3652-pious mentors of one inspiring idea ; and there stood [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , sad as [Saul]441-saul , and stern as [Joab]442-joab , and there triumphed [[his]196-m. paul accusers]7071-his accusers . At these two [I]3652-pious mentors looked . [I]3652-pious mentors was gathering [my]3652-pious mentors courage to tell [them]7071-his accusers that [I]3652-pious mentors would neither write nor speak another word for [their]7071-his accusers satisfaction , that [their]7071-his accusers theme did not suit , nor [their]7071-his accusers presence inspire [me]3652-pious mentors , and that , notwithstanding , whoever threw the shadow of a doubt on [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's honour , outraged that truth of which [they]7071-his accusers had announced [themselves]7071-his accusers [the - champions]7072-the - champions : [I]3652-pious mentors meant to utter all this , [I]3652-pious mentors say , when suddenly , a light darted on memory . [Those two faces looking out of the forest of long hair , moustache , and whisker]7073-those two faces looking out of the forest of long hair , moustache , and whisker - [those two cold yet bold , trustless yet presumptuous visages]7074-those two cold yet bold , trustless yet presumptuous visages - were the same faces , [the very same that , projected in full gaslight from behind the pillars of a portico]7075-the very same that , projected in full gaslight from behind the pillars of a portico , had half frightened [me]3652-pious mentors to death on the night of [my]3652-pious mentors desolate arrival in [Villette]3-villette . [These]7073-those two faces looking out of the forest of long hair , moustache , and whisker , [I]3652-pious mentors felt morally certain , were [the very heroes who had driven [a friendless foreigner]7077-a friendless foreigner beyond [her]7077-a friendless foreigner reckoning and [her]7077-a friendless foreigner strength]7076-the very heroes who had driven a friendless foreigner beyond her reckoning and her strength , chased [her]7077-a friendless foreigner breathless over [a whole quarter of [the town]1306-the town]7078-a whole quarter of the town . "[3652-pious mentors] [Pious mentors]3652-pious mentors ! " thought [I.]3652-pious mentors "[3652-pious mentors] [Pure guides for youth]3653-pure guides for youth ! If ` Human Justice ' were what [she]3654-her ought to be , [you]3655-your two would scarce hold [your]3655-your present post , or enjoy [your]3655-your present credit . " An idea once seized , [I]440-human justice fell to work . "[440-human justice] [Human Justice]440-human justice " rushed before [me]440-human justice in novel guise , a red , random beldame , with arms akimbo . [I]440-human justice saw [her]3654-her in [[her]3654-her house]6212-her house , the den of confusion : [servants]1062-servants called to [her]3654-her for orders or help which [she]3654-her did not give ; [beggars]7082-beggars stood at [her]3654-her door waiting and starving unnoticed ; a swarm of [children]4815-children , sick and quarrelsome , crawled round [her]3654-her feet , and yelled in [her]3654-her ears appeals for notice , sympathy , cure , redress . [The honest woman]7084-the honest woman cared for none of these things . [She]3654-her had a warm seat of [her]3654-her own by the fire , [she]3654-her had [her]3654-her own solace in a short black pipe , and a bottle of [Mrs. Sweeny]201-mrs. sweeny 's soothing syrup ; [she]3654-her smoked and [she]3654-her sipped , and [she]3654-her enjoyed [her]3654-her paradise ; and whenever a cry of the suffering souls about [her]3654-her ' pierced [her]3654-her ears too keenly - [[my]440-human justice jolly dame]7085-my jolly dame seized the poker or the hearth - brush : if [the offender]7086-the offender was weak , wronged , and sickly , [she]7085-my jolly dame effectually settled [him]7086-the offender : if [he]7086-the offender was strong , lively , and violent , [she]7085-my jolly dame only menaced , then plunged [her]7085-my jolly dame hand in [her]7085-my jolly dame deep pouch , and flung a liberal shower of sugar - plums . Such was the sketch of "[440-human justice] Human Justice , " scratched hurriedly on paper , and placed at the service of [Messrs. Boissec]443-messrs. boissec and [Rochemorte]437-rochemorte . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul read it over [my]440-human justice shoulder . Waiting no comment , [I]440-human justice curtsied to [the trio]7087-the trio , and withdrew . After school that day , [M. Paul]196-m. paul and [I]440-human justice again met . Of course the meeting did not at first run smooth ; there was a crow to pluck with [him]7086-the offender ; that forced examination could not be immediately digested . A crabbed dialogue terminated in [my]440-human justice being called "[440-human justice] [une petite moqueuse et sans- coeur]3656-une petite moqueuse et sans- coeur , " and in [Monsieur]7088-monsieur 's temporary departure . Not wishing [him]7088-monsieur to go quite away , only desiring [he]7088-monsieur should feel that such a transport as [he]7088-monsieur had that day given way to , could not be indulged with perfect impunity , [I]440-human justice was not sorry to see [him]7088-monsieur , soon after , gardening in the berceau . [He]7088-monsieur approached the glass door ; [I]440-human justice drew near also . [We]7089-we spoke of some flowers growing round it . By - and - by [Monsieur]7090-monsieur laid down [his]7090-monsieur spade ; by - and - by [he]7090-monsieur recommenced conversation , passed to other subjects , and at last touched a point of interest . Conscious that [his]7090-monsieur proceeding of that day was specially open to a charge of extravagance , [M. Paul]196-m. paul half apologized ; [he]196-m. paul half regretted , too , the fitfulness of [his]196-m. paul moods at all times , yet [he]196-m. paul hinted that some allowance ought to be made for [him]7090-monsieur . "[440-human justice] But , " said [he]0-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i can hardly expect it at [your]3657-i hands , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy ; [you]3657-i know neither [me]0-i , nor [my]0-i position , nor [my]0-i history . " [His]3658-monsieur history . [I]3657-i took up the word at once ; [I]3657-i pursued the idea . "[3657-i] No , [Monsieur]3658-monsieur , " [I]3658-monsieur rejoined . "[3658-monsieur] Of course , as [you]3658-monsieur say , [I]0-i know neither [your]3658-monsieur history , nor [your]3658-monsieur position , nor [your]3658-monsieur sacrifices , nor any of [your]3658-monsieur sorrows , or trials , or affections , or fidelities . Oh , no ! [I]0-i know nothing about [you]3658-monsieur ; [you]3658-monsieur are for [me]0-i altogether [a stranger]874-a stranger . " "[3658-monsieur] Hein ? " [he]3658-monsieur murmured , arching [his]3658-monsieur brows in surprise . "[3658-monsieur] [You]3658-monsieur know , [Monsieur]3660-monsieur , [I]0-i only see [you]3658-monsieur in classe - stern , dogmatic , hasty , imperious . [I]0-i only hear of [you]3658-monsieur in [town]4930-town as active and wilful , quick to originate , hasty to lead , but slow to persuade , and hard to bend . [A man like [you]3658-monsieur]3662-a man like you , without ties , can have no attachments ; without [dependants]3663-dependants , no duties . All [we]3664-we , with whom [you]3658-monsieur come in contact , are machines , which [you]3658-monsieur thrust here and there , inconsiderate of [their]3665-their feelings . [You]3658-monsieur seek [your]3658-monsieur recreations in public , by the light of the evening chandelier : [this school]4877-this school and [yonder college]3667-yonder college are [[your]3658-monsieur workshops]3668-your workshops , where [you]3658-monsieur fabricate the ware called [pupils]4924-pupils . [I]0-i do n't so much as know where [you]3658-monsieur live ; it is natural to take it for granted that [you]3658-monsieur have [no home]3670-no home , and need none . " "[0-i] [I]0-i am judged , " said [he]0-i . "[0-i] [Your]3658-monsieur opinion of [me]0-i is just what [I]0-i thought it was . For [you]3658-monsieur [I]0-i am neither [a man]823-a man nor [a Christian]3672-a christian . [You]3658-monsieur see [me]0-i void of affection and religion , unattached by [friend]5752-friend or [family]3674-family , unpiloted by principle or faith . It is well , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle ; such is [our]3675-our reward in this life . " "[0-i] [You]0-i are [a philosopher]3676-a philosopher , [Monsieur]3677-monsieur ; [a cynic philosopher]3678-a cynic philosopher " and [I]3676-a philosopher looked at [his]3679-monsieur paletot , of which [he]3679-monsieur straightway brushed the dim sleeve with [his]3679-monsieur hand , "[3676-a philosopher] despising the foibles of humanity - above its luxuries - independent of its comforts . " "[261-mademoiselle] Et vous , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle ? vous etes proprette et douillette , et affreusement insensible , par - dessus le marche . " "[261-mademoiselle] But , in short , [Monsieur]3679-monsieur , now [I]0-i think of it , [you]3679-monsieur must live somewhere ? Do tell [me]0-i where ; and what establishment of [servants]1062-servants do [you]3679-monsieur keep ? " With a fearful projection of the under - lip , implying an impetus of scorn the most decided , [he]3679-monsieur broke out - "[3679-monsieur] Je vis dans un trou ! [I]0-i inhabit [a den]3681-a den , [Miss]3682-miss - [a cavern , where [you]3682-miss would not put [your]3682-miss dainty nose]3683-a cavern , where you would not put your dainty nose . Once , with base shame of speaking the whole truth , [I]0-i talked about [my]0-i ' study ' in [that college]3684-that college : know now that [this ' study]3685-this ' study ' is [[my]0-i whole abode]3686-my whole abode ; [[my]0-i chamber]4944-my chamber is there and [[my]0-i drawing - room]3688-my drawing - room . As for [my]0-i ' establishment of [servants]1062-servants ' " mimicking [my]3690-my voice "[3690-my] [they]3690-my number ten ; les voila . " And [he]0-i grimly spread , close under [my]0-i eyes , [his]0-i ten fingers . "[0-i] [I]0-i black [my]0-i boots , " pursued [he]0-i savagely . "[0-i] [I]0-i brush [my]0-i paletot . " "[0-i] No , [Monsieur]3691-monsieur , it is too plain ; [you]3691-monsieur never do that , " was [[my]3691-monsieur parenthesis]7091-my parenthesis . "[3691-monsieur] Je fais mon lit et mon menage ; [I]0-i seek [my]0-i dinner in [a restaurant]3692-a restaurant ; [my]0-i supper takes care , of itself ; [I]0-i pass days laborious and loveless ; nights long and lonely ; [I]0-i am ferocious , and bearded and monkish ; and nothing now living in [this world]4390-this world loves [me]0-i , except some old hearts worn like [my]0-i own , and [some few beings , impoverished , suffering , poor in purse and in spirit]3694-some few beings , impoverished , suffering , poor in purse and in spirit , whom the kingdoms of [this world]4390-this world own not , but to whom a will and testament not to be disputed has bequeathed [the kingdom of heaven]3696-the kingdom of heaven . " "[3697-monsieur] Ah , [Monsieur]3697-monsieur ; but [I]0-i know ! " "[3697-monsieur] What do [you]3697-monsieur know ? many things , [I]0-i verily believe ; yet not [me]0-i , [Lucy]142-lucy ! " "[142-lucy] [I]0-i know that [you]3697-monsieur have [a pleasant old house]3698-a pleasant old house in [a pleasant old square of the Basse - Ville]3699-a pleasant old square of the basse - ville - why do n't [you]3697-monsieur go and live [there]512-there ? " "[3697-monsieur] Hein ? " muttered [he]3697-monsieur again . "[0-i] [I]0-i liked it much , [Monsieur]3701-monsieur ; with the steps ascending to the door , the grey flags in front , the nodding trees behind - real trees , not shrubs - trees dark , high , and of old growth . And the boudoir - oratoire - [you]3697-monsieur should make [that room]613-that room [[your]3697-monsieur study]3703-your study ; [it]613-that room is so quiet and solemn . " [He]3697-monsieur eyed [me]3697-monsieur closely ; [he]3697-monsieur half - smiled , half - coloured . "[3697-monsieur] Where did [you]3697-monsieur pick up all that ? Who told [you]3697-monsieur ? " [he]3697-monsieur asked . "[4256-nobody] [Nobody]4256-nobody told [me]0-i . Did [I]0-i dream it , [Monsieur]3705-monsieur , do [you]3705-monsieur think ? " "[3705-monsieur] Can [I]0-i enter into [your]3705-monsieur visions ? Can [I]0-i guess [a woman]4363-a woman 's waking thoughts , much less [her]4363-a woman sleeping fantasies ? " "[0-i] If [I]0-i dreamt it , [I]0-i saw in [my]0-i dream [human beings]3707-human beings as well as [a house]3708-a house . [I]0-i saw [a priest , old , bent , and grey]3709-a priest , old , bent , and grey , and [a domestic - old , too , and picturesque]3710-a domestic - old , too , and picturesque ; and [a lady]1639-a lady , splendid but strange ; [her]1639-a lady head would scarce reach to [my]0-i elbow - [her]1639-a lady magnificence might ransom [a duke]3712-a duke . [She]1639-a lady wore a gown bright as lapis - lazuli - a shawl worth a thousand francs : [she]1639-a lady was decked with ornaments so brilliant , [I]0-i never saw any with such a beautiful sparkle ; but [her]1639-a lady figure looked as if it had been broken in two and bent double ; [she]1639-a lady seemed also to have outlived the common years of humanity , and to have attained those which are only labour and sorrow . [She]1639-a lady was become morose - almost malevolent ; yet [somebody]4307-somebody , it appears , cared for [her]1639-a lady in [her]1639-a lady infirmities - [somebody]4307-somebody forgave [her]1639-a lady trespasses , hoping to have [his]4307-somebody trespasses forgiven . [They]3715-they lived together , [these three people]3716-these three people - [the mistress]3717-the mistress , [the chaplain]3718-the chaplain , [the servant]5766-the servant - all old , [all feeble , all sheltered under one kind wing]3720-all feeble , all sheltered under one kind wing . " [He]0-i covered with [his]0-i hand the upper part of [his]0-i face , but did not conceal [his]0-i mouth , where [I]0-i saw hovering an expression [I]0-i liked . "[0-i] [I]0-i see [you]3721-i have entered into [my]0-i secrets , " said [he]0-i , "[3721-i] but how was it done ? " So [I]3721-i told [him]0-i how - the commission on which [I]3721-i had been sent , the storm which had detained [me]3721-i , the abruptness of [the lady]554-the lady , the kindness of [the priest]4890-the priest . "[3721-i] As [I]0-i sat waiting for the rain to cease , [Pere Silas]289-pere silas whiled away the time with a story , " [I]289-pere silas said . "[289-pere silas] A story ! What story ? [Pere Silas]289-pere silas is [no romancist]3722-no romancist . " "[289-pere silas] Shall [I]0-i tell [Monsieur]3723-monsieur the tale ? " "[0-i] Yes : begin at the beginning . Let [me]0-i hear some of [Miss Lucy]142-lucy 's French - [her]142-lucy best or [her]142-lucy worst - [I]0-i do n't much care which : let [us]3724-us have a good poignee of barbarisms , and a bounteous dose of the insular accent . " "[3725-monsieur] [Monsieur]3725-monsieur is not going to be gratified by a tale of ambitious proportions , and the spectacle of [the narrator]3726-the narrator sticking fast in the midst . But [I]0-i will tell [him]3725-monsieur the title - [the ' Priest 's Pupil]3727-the ' priest 's pupil . ' " "[0-i] Bah ! " said [he]3725-monsieur , the swarthy flush again dyeing [his]3725-monsieur dark cheek . "[0-i] [The good old father]3728-the good old father could not have chosen a worse subject ; it is [his]3728-the good old father weak point . But what of [the ' Priest 's Pupil]3727-the ' priest 's pupil ? ' " "[3727-the ' priest 's pupil] Oh ! many things . " [You]0-i may as well define what things . [I]3727-the ' priest 's pupil mean to know . "[3727-the ' priest 's pupil] " There was [the pupil]6966-the pupil 's youth , [the pupil]6966-the pupil 's manhood ; - [his]6966-the pupil avarice , [his]6966-the pupil ingratitude , [his]6966-the pupil implacability , [his]6966-the pupil inconstancy . Such [a bad pupil]7096-a bad pupil , [Monsieur]7097-monsieur ! - so thankless , cold - hearted , unchivalrous , unforgiving ! "[3727-the ' priest 's pupil] Et puis ? " said [he]3725-monsieur , taking a cigar . "[3727-the ' priest 's pupil] Et puis , " [I]3727-the ' priest 's pupil pursued , "[3727-the ' priest 's pupil] [he]3725-monsieur underwent calamities which [one]607-one did not pity - bore them in a spirit [one]607-one did not admire - endured wrongs for which [one]607-one felt no sympathy ; finally took the unchristian revenge of heaping coals of fire on [[his]3725-monsieur adversary]3733-his adversary 's head . " "[3734-you] [You]3734-you have not told [me]0-i all , " said [he]3725-monsieur . "[3734-you] Nearly all , [I]0-i think : [I]0-i have indicated the heads of [Pere Silas]289-pere silas 's chapters . " "[0-i] [You]3734-you have forgotten one - that which touched on [the pupil]6966-the pupil 's lack of affection - on [his]6966-the pupil hard , cold , monkish heart . " "[0-i] True ; [I]0-i remember now . [Pere Silas]289-pere silas did say that [his]289-pere silas vocation was almost that of [a priest]5700-a priest - that [his]289-pere silas life was considered consecrated . " "[289-pere silas] By what bonds or duties ? " "[289-pere silas] By the ties of the past and the charities of the present . " "[3734-you] [You]3734-you have , then , the whole situation ? " "[3734-you] [I]0-i have now told [Monsieur]3737-monsieur all that was told [me]0-i . " Some meditative minutes passed . "[0-i] Now , [Mademoiselle Lucy]333-lucy , look at [me]0-i , and with that truth which [I]0-i believe [you]333-lucy never knowingly violate , answer [me]0-i one question . Raise [your]333-lucy eyes ; rest them on [mine]0-i ; have no hesitation ; fear not to trust [me]0-i - [I]0-i am [a man to be trusted]3738-a man to be trusted . " [I]3738-a man to be trusted raised [my]3738-a man to be trusted eyes . "[3738-a man to be trusted] Knowing [me]0-i thoroughly now - all [my]0-i antecedents , all [my]0-i responsibilities - having long known [my]0-i faults , can [you]333-lucy and [I]0-i still be [friends]533-friends ? " "[333-lucy] If [Monsieur]3740-monsieur wants [a friend]1797-a friend in [me]0-i , [I]0-i shall be glad to have [a friend]1797-a friend in [him]3740-monsieur . " "[1797-a friend] But [a close friend]3743-a close friend [I]0-i mean - intimate and real - kindred in all but blood . Will [Miss Lucy]142-lucy be [the sister of [a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man]3745-a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man]3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man ? " [I]3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man could not answer [him]3740-monsieur in words , yet [I]3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man suppose [I]3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man did answer [him]3740-monsieur ; [he]3740-monsieur took [my]3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man hand , which found comfort , in the shelter of [his]3740-monsieur . [His]3740-monsieur friendship was not a doubtful , wavering benefit - a cold , distant hope - a sentiment so brittle as not to bear the weight of a finger : [I]3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man at once felt or thought [I]3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man felt its support like that of some rock . "[3744-the sister of a very poor , fettered , burdened , encumbered man] When [I]0-i talk of friendship , [I]0-i mean true friendship , " [he]3740-monsieur repeated emphatically ; and [I]0-i could hardly believe that words so earnest had blessed [my]0-i ear ; [I]0-i hardly could credit the reality of that kind , anxious look [he]3740-monsieur gave . If [he]3740-monsieur really wished for [my]0-i confidence and regard , and really would give [me]0-i [his]3740-monsieur - why , it seemed to [me]0-i that life could offer nothing more or better . In that case , [I]0-i was become strong and rich : in a moment [I]0-i was made substantially happy . To ascertain the fact , to fix and seal it , [I]0-i asked - "[0-i] Is [Monsieur]3746-monsieur quite serious ? Does [he]3746-monsieur really think [he]3746-monsieur needs [me]0-i , and can take an interest in [me]0-i as [a sister]1384-a sister ? " "[3746-monsieur] Surely , surely , " said [he]3752-monsieur ; "[3746-monsieur] [a lonely man like [me]0-i , who has [no sister]3749-no sister]3748-a lonely man like me , who has no sister , must be but too glad to find in [some woman]3750-some woman 's heart [a sister]1384-a sister 's pure affection . " "[1384-a sister] And dare [I]0-i rely on [Monsieur]3752-monsieur 's regard ? Dare [I]0-i speak to [him]3752-monsieur when [I]0-i am so inclined ? " "[0-i] [[My]0-i little sister]719-my little sister must make [her]719-my little sister own experiments , " said [he]0-i ; "[719-my little sister] [I]0-i will give no promises . [She]719-my little sister must tease and try [[her]719-my little sister wayward brother]3754-her wayward brother till [she]719-my little sister has drilled [him]3754-her wayward brother into what [she]719-my little sister wishes . After all , [he]3754-her wayward brother is [no inductile material in some hands]3755-no inductile material in some hands . " While [he]0-i spoke , the tone of [his]0-i voice , the light of [his]0-i now affectionate eye , gave [me]3754-her wayward brother such a pleasure as , certainly , [I]3754-her wayward brother had never felt . [I]3754-her wayward brother envied [no girl]7098-no girl [[her]7098-no girl lover]5767-her lover , [no bride]7100-no bride [[her]7098-no girl bridegroom]7101-her bridegroom , [no wife]7102-no wife [[her]7098-no girl husband]509-her husband ; [I]3754-her wayward brother was content with this [[my]3754-her wayward brother voluntary , self - offering friend]7104-my voluntary , self - offering friend . If [he]0-i would but prove reliable , and [he]0-i looked reliable , what , beyond [his]0-i friendship , could [I]3754-her wayward brother ever covet ? But , if all melted like a dream , as once before had happened - ? "[3754-her wayward brother] Qu'est - ce donc ? What is it ? " said [he]0-i , as this thought threw its weight on [my]142-lucy heart , its shadow on [my]142-lucy countenance . [I]142-lucy told [him]0-i ; and after a moment 's pause , and a thoughtful smile , [he]0-i showed [me]142-lucy how an equal fear - lest [I]142-lucy should weary of [him]0-i , [a man of moods so difficult and fitful]7105-a man of moods so difficult and fitful - had haunted [his]0-i mind for more than one day , or one month . On hearing this , a quiet courage cheered [me]142-lucy . [I]142-lucy ventured a word of re - assurance . That word was not only tolerated ; its repetition was courted . [I]142-lucy grew quite happy - strangely happy - in making [him]0-i secure , content , tranquil . Yesterday , [I]142-lucy could not have believed that [earth]4454-earth held , or life afforded , moments like the few [I]142-lucy was now passing . Countless times it had been [my]142-lucy lot to watch apprehended sorrow close darkly in ; but to see unhoped - for happiness take form , find place , and grow more real as the seconds sped , was indeed a new experience . "[142-lucy] [Lucy]142-lucy , " said [M. Paul]196-m. paul , speaking low , and still holding [my]142-lucy hand , "[142-lucy] did [you]142-lucy see a picture in the boudoir of [the old house]3756-the old house ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i did ; a picture painted on a panel . " "[0-i] The portrait of [a nun]6121-a nun ? " "[6121-a nun] Yes . " "[6121-a nun] [You]0-i heard [her]6121-a nun history ? " "[0-i] Yes . " "[0-i] [You]0-i remember what [we]3758-we saw that night in the berceau ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i shall never forget it . " "[0-i] [You]0-i did not connect the two ideas ; that would be folly ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i thought of the apparition when [I]0-i saw the portrait , " said [I]0-i ; which was true enough . "[0-i] [You]0-i did not , nor will [you]0-i fancy , " pursued [he]0-i , "[0-i] that [a saint in heaven]3759-a saint in heaven perturbs [herself]3759-a saint in heaven with rivalries of [earth]4454-earth ? [Protestants]3761-protestants are rarely superstitious ; these morbid fancies will not beset [you]0-i ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i know not what to think of this matter ; but [I]0-i believe a perfectly natural solution of this seeming mystery will one day be arrived at . " "[0-i] Doubtless , doubtless . Besides , [no good - living woman]3762-no good - living woman - much less [a pure , happy spirit]3763-a pure , happy spirit - would trouble amity like [ours]3758-we n'est - il pas vrai ? " Ere [I]3762-no good - living woman could answer , [Fifine Beck]211-fifine burst in , rosy and abrupt , calling out that [I]3762-no good - living woman was wanted . [[Her]211-fifine mother]550-her mother was going into [town]4930-town to call on [some English family]7109-some english family , who had applied for a prospectus : [my]3762-no good - living woman services were needed as [interpreter]7110-interpreter . The interruption was not unseasonable : sufficient for the day is always the evil ; for this hour , its good sufficed . Yet [I]3762-no good - living woman should have liked to ask [M. Paul]196-m. paul whether the "[3762-no good - living woman] morbid fancies , " against which [he]196-m. paul warned [me]3762-no good - living woman , wrought in [his]196-m. paul own brain . CHAPTER XXXVI . [THE APPLE OF DISCORD]7111-the apple of discord . Besides [[Fifine Beck]211-fifine 's mother]7112-fifine beck 's mother , [another power]7113-another power had a word to say to [M. Paul]196-m. paul and [me]3762-no good - living woman , before that covenant of friendship could be ratified . [We]7114-we were under the surveillance of a sleepless eye : [Rome]54-rome watched jealously [[her]7112-fifine beck 's mother son]532-her son through that mystic lattice at which [I]3762-no good - living woman had knelt once , and to which [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul drew nigh month by month - the sliding panel of the confessional . "[3762-no good - living woman] Why were [you]3764-you so glad to be friends with [M. Paul]196-m. paul ? " asks [the reader]759-the reader . "[196-m. paul] Had [he]3765-he not long been [a friend to [you]3764-you]3766-a friend to you ? Had [he]3765-he not given proof on proof of a certain partiality in [his]3765-he feelings ? " Yes , [he]3765-he had ; but still [I]3765-he liked to hear [him]3765-he say so earnestly - that [he]3765-he was [[my]3765-he close , [true friend]7118-true friend]7117-my close , true friend ; [I]3765-he liked [his]3765-he modest doubts , [his]3765-he tender deference - that trust which longed to rest , and was grateful when taught how . [He]3765-he had called [me]3765-he ' [sister]7119-sister . "[3765-he] It was well . Yes ; [he]3765-he might call [me]0-i what [he]3765-he pleased , so long as [he]3765-he confided in [me]0-i . [I]0-i was willing to be [[his]3765-he sister]3478-his sister , on condition that [he]3765-he did not invite [me]0-i to fill that relation to [some future wife of [his]3765-he]3768-some future wife of his ; and tacitly vowed as [he]3765-he was to celibacy , of this dilemma there seemed little danger . Through most of the succeeding night [I]0-i pondered that evening 's interview . [I]0-i wanted much the morning to break , and then listened for the bell to ring ; and , after rising and dressing , [I]0-i deemed prayers and breakfast slow , and all the hours lingering , till that arrived at last which brought [me]0-i the lesson of literature . [My]0-i wish was to get a more thorough comprehension of this fraternal alliance : to note with how much of [the brother]3769-the brother [he]3765-he would demean [himself]3765-he when [we]3770-we met again ; to prove how much of [the sister]3771-the sister was in [my]0-i own feelings ; to discover whether [I]0-i could summon [a sister]1384-a sister 's courage , and [he]3765-he [a brother]2479-a brother 's frankness . [He]3765-he came . Life is so constructed , that the event does not , can not , will not , match the expectation . That whole day [he]3765-he never accosted [me]0-i . [His]3765-he lesson was given rather more quietly than usual , more mildly , and also more gravely . [He]3765-he was fatherly to [[his]3765-he pupils]6651-his pupils , but [he]3765-he was not brotherly to [me]0-i . Ere [he]3765-he left the classe , [I]0-i expected a smile , if not a word ; [I]0-i got neither : to [my]0-i portion fell one nod - hurried , shy . This distance , [I]0-i argued , is accidental - it is involuntary ; patience , and it will vanish . It vanished not ; it continued for days ; it increased . [I]0-i suppressed [my]0-i surprise , and swallowed whatever other feelings began to surge . Well might [I]0-i ask when [he]3765-he offered fraternity - " Dare [I]3765-he rely on [you]0-i ? "[3765-he] Well might [he]3765-he , doubtless knowing [himself]3765-he , withhold all pledge . True , [he]3765-he had bid [me]0-i make [my]0-i own experiments - tease and try [him]3765-he . Vain injunction ! Privilege nominal and unavailable ! [Some women]3775-some women might use it ! Nothing in [my]0-i powers or instinct placed [me]0-i amongst [this brave band]3776-this brave band . Left alone , [I]0-i was passive ; repulsed , [I]0-i withdrew ; forgotten - [my]0-i lips would not utter , nor [my]0-i eyes dart a reminder . It seemed there had been an error somewhere in [my]0-i calculations , and [I]0-i wanted for time to disclose it . But the day came when , as usual , [he]3765-he was to give [me]0-i a lesson . One evening in seven [he]3765-he had long generously bestowed on [me]0-i , devoting it to the examination of what had been done in various studies during the past week , and to the preparation of work for the week in prospect . On these occasions [[my]0-i schoolroom]3777-my schoolroom was anywhere , wherever [the pupils]1102-the pupils and [the other teachers]5049-the other teachers happened to be , or in [[their]3775-some women close vicinage]3780-their close vicinage , very often in [the large second division]3781-the large second division , where it was easy to choose a quiet nook when [the crowding day pupils]3782-the crowding day pupils were absent , and [the few boarders]3783-the few boarders gathered in a knot about the surveillante 's estrade . On the customary evening , hearing the customary hour strike , [I]0-i collected [my]0-i books and papers , [my]0-i pen and ink , and sought [the large division]3784-the large division . In classe there was [no one]2867-no one , and it lay all in cool deep shadow ; but through the open double doors was seen [the carre]4820-the carre , filled with [pupils and with light]3787-pupils and with light ; over hall and figures blushed the westering sun . It blushed so ruddily and vividly , that the hues of the walls and the variegated tints of the dresses seemed all fused in one warm glow . [The , girls]3788-the , girls were seated , working or studying ; in the midst of [their]3788-the , girls circle stood [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , speaking good - humouredly to [a teacher]4895-a teacher . [His]196-m. paul dark paletot , [his]196-m. paul jetty hair , were tinged with many a reflex of crimson ; [his]196-m. paul Spanish face , when [he]196-m. paul turned it momentarily , answered the sun 's animated kiss with an animated smile . [I]0-i took [my]0-i place at a desk . The orange - trees , and several plants , full and bright with bloom , basked also in the sun 's laughing bounty ; [they]3788-the , girls had partaken it the whole day , and now asked water . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul had a taste for gardening ; [he]196-m. paul liked to tend and foster plants . [I]0-i used to think that working amongst shrubs with a spade or a watering - pot soothed [his]196-m. paul nerves ; it was a recreation to which [he]196-m. paul often had recourse ; and now be looked to the orange - trees , the geraniums , the gorgeous cactuses , and revived them all with the refreshment [their]3788-the , girls drought needed . [His]196-m. paul lips meantime sustained [his]196-m. paul precious cigar , that for [him]196-m. paul first necessary and prime luxury of life ; its blue wreaths curled prettily enough amongst the flowers , and in the evening light . [He]196-m. paul spoke no more to [the pupils]1102-the pupils , nor to [the mistresses]3791-the mistresses , but gave many an endearing word to [a small spanieless]3792-a small spanieless if [one]607-one may coin a word , that nominally belonged to [the house]518-the house , but virtually owned [him]196-m. paul as [master]5663-master , being fonder of [him]196-m. paul than [any inmate]3796-any inmate . [A delicate , silky , loving , and lovable little doggie]3797-a delicate , silky , loving , and lovable little doggie [she]3797-a delicate , silky , loving , and lovable little doggie was , trotting at [his]196-m. paul side , looking with expressive , attached eyes into [his]196-m. paul face ; and whenever [he]196-m. paul dropped [his]196-m. paul bonnet - grec or [his]196-m. paul handkerchief , which [he]196-m. paul occasionally did in play , crouching beside it with the air of a miniature lion guarding [a kingdom]3798-a kingdom 's flag . There were many plants , and as [the amateur gardener]3799-the amateur gardener fetched all the water from the well in [the court]1612-the court , with [his]3799-the amateur gardener own active hands , [his]3799-the amateur gardener work spun on to some length . The great school - clock ticked on . Another hour struck . [The carre]4820-the carre and [the youthful group]3802-the youthful group lost the illusion of sunset . Day was drooping . [My]0-i lesson , [I]0-i perceived , must to - night be very short ; but the orange - trees , the cacti , the camelias were all served now . Was it [my]0-i turn ? Alas ! in [the garden]1165-the garden were more plants to be looked after , - favourite rose - bushes , certain choice flowers ; little [Sylvie]444-sylvie 's glad bark and whine followed the receding paletot down [the alleys]4907-the alleys . [I]0-i put up some of [my]0-i books ; [I]0-i should not want them all ; [I]0-i sat and thought ; and waited , involuntarily deprecating the creeping invasion of twilight . [Sylvie]444-sylvie , gaily frisking , emerged into view once more , heralding the returning paletot ; the watering - pot was deposited beside the well ; it had fulfilled [its]3805-its office ; how glad [I]0-i was ! [Monsieur]3806-monsieur washed [his]3806-monsieur hands in a little stone bowl . There was no longer time for a lesson now ; ere long the prayer - bell must ring ; but still [we]3807-we should meet ; [he]3806-monsieur would speak ; a chance would be offered of reading in [his]3806-monsieur eyes the riddle of [his]3806-monsieur shyness . [His]3806-monsieur ablutions over , [he]3806-monsieur stood , slowly re - arranging [his]3806-monsieur cuffs , looking at the horn of a young moon , set pale in the opal sky , and glimmering faint on the oriel of [Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste . [Sylvie]444-sylvie watched the mood contemplative ; its stillness irked [her]444-sylvie ; [she]444-sylvie whined and jumped to break it . [He]3806-monsieur looked down . " Petite exigeante , "[3806-monsieur] said [he]3806-monsieur ; " [you]444-sylvie must not be forgotten one moment , it seems . "[3806-monsieur] [He]3806-monsieur stopped , lifted [her]444-sylvie in [his]3806-monsieur arms , sauntered across [the court]1612-the court , within a yard of the line of windows near one of which [I]0-i sat : [he]3806-monsieur sauntered lingeringly , fondling the spaniel in [his]3806-monsieur bosom , calling [her]444-sylvie tender names in a tender voice . On the front - door steps [he]3806-monsieur turned ; once again [he]3806-monsieur looked at the moon , at [the grey cathedral]3809-the grey cathedral , over the remoter spires and [house - roofs]3810-house - roofs fading into a blue sea of night - mist ; [he]3806-monsieur tasted the sweet breath of dusk , and noted the folded bloom of [the garden]1165-the garden ; [he]3806-monsieur suddenly looked round ; a keen beam out of [his]3806-monsieur eye rased the white facade of [the classes]4828-the classes , swept the long line of croisees . [I]0-i think [he]3806-monsieur bowed ; if [he]3806-monsieur did , [I]0-i had no time to return the courtesy . In a moment [he]3806-monsieur was gone ; the moonlit threshold lay pale and shadowless before the closed front door . Gathering in [my]0-i arms all that was spread on the desk before [me]0-i , [I]0-i carried back the unused heap to [its]3813-its place in [the third classe]3814-the third classe . The prayer - bell rang ; [I]0-i obeyed its summons . The morrow would not restore [him]3806-monsieur to [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette , that day being devoted entirely to [[his]3806-monsieur college]3815-his college . [I]0-i got through [my]0-i teaching ; [I]0-i got over the intermediate hours ; [I]0-i saw evening approaching , and armed [myself]0-i for its heavy ennuis . Whether it was worse to stay with [[my]0-i co - inmates]2337-my co - inmates , or to sit alone , [I]0-i had not considered ; [I]0-i naturally took up the latter alternative ; if there was a hope of comfort for any moment , the heart or head of [no human being]3817-no human being in [this house]5145-this house could yield it ; only under the lid of [my]0-i desk could it harbour , nestling between the leaves of some book , gilding a pencil - point , the nib of a pen , or tinging the black fluid in that ink - glass . With a heavy heart [I]0-i opened [my]0-i desk - lid ; with a weary hand [I]0-i turned up its contents . One by one , well - accustomed books , volumes sewn in familiar covers , were taken out and put back hopeless : they had no charm ; they could not comfort . Is this something new , this pamphlet in lilac ? [I]0-i had not seen it before , and [I]0-i re - arranged [my]0-i desk this very day - this very afternoon ; the tract must have been introduced within the last hour , while [we]3819-we were at dinner . [I]0-i opened it . What was it ? What would it say to [me]0-i ? It was neither tale nor poem , neither essay nor history ; it neither sung , nor related , not discussed . It was a theological work ; it preached and it persuaded . [I]0-i lent to it [my]0-i ear very willingly , for , small as it was , it possessed its own spell , and bound [my]0-i attention at once . It preached Romanism ; it persuaded to conversion . The voice of that sly little book was a honeyed voice ; its accents were all unction and balm . Here roared no utterance of [Rome]54-rome 's thunders , no blasting of the breath of [her]3820-her displeasure . [The Protestant]3821-the protestant was to turn [Papist]3822-papist , not so much in fear of [the heretic]3823-the heretic 's hell , as on account of the comfort , the indulgence , the tenderness [Holy Church]107-holy church offered : far be it from [her]3820-her to threaten or to coerce ; [her]3820-her wish was to guide and win . [She]3820-her persecute ? Oh dear no ! not on any account ! This meek volume was not addressed to [the hardened and worldly]3824-the hardened and worldly ; it was not even strong meat for the strong : it was milk for [babes]3825-babes : the mild effluence of [a mother]4301-a mother 's love towards [her]4301-a mother tenderest and [[her]4301-a mother youngest]3827-her youngest ; intended wholly and solely for [those whose head is to be reached through the heart]3828-those whose head is to be reached through the heart . Its appeal was not to intellect ; it sought to win the affectionate through [their]3828-those whose head is to be reached through the heart affections , the sympathizing through [their]3828-those whose head is to be reached through the heart sympathies : [St. Vincent de Paul]170-st. paul , gathering [[his]170-st. paul orphans]3829-his orphans about [him]170-st. paul , never spoke more sweetly . [I]0-i remember one capital inducement to apostacy was held out in the fact that [the Catholic who had lost [dear friends by death]3831-dear friends by death]3830-the catholic who had lost dear friends by death could enjoy the unspeakable solace of praying [them]3831-dear friends by death out of purgatory . [The writer]2334-the writer did not touch on the firmer peace of [those whose belief dispenses with purgatory altogether]3833-those whose belief dispenses with purgatory altogether : but [I]0-i thought of this ; and , on the whole , preferred the latter doctrine as the most consolatory . The little book amused , and did not painfully displease [me]0-i . It was a canting , sentimental , shallow little book , yet something about it cheered [my]0-i gloom and made [me]0-i smile ; [I]0-i was amused with the gambols of [this unlicked wolf - cub muffled in the fleece , and mimicking the bleat of a guileless lamb]3834-this unlicked wolf - cub muffled in the fleece , and mimicking the bleat of a guileless lamb . Portions of it reminded [me]0-i of certain Wesleyan Methodist tracts [I]0-i had once read when [a child]4415-a child ; they were flavoured with about the same seasoning of excitation to fanaticism . [He]2334-the writer that had written it was [no bad man]3836-no bad man , and while perpetually betraying the trained cunning - the cloven hoof of [his]2334-the writer system - [I]0-i should pause before accusing [himself]2334-the writer of insincerity . [His]2334-the writer judgment , however , wanted surgical props ; it was rickety . [I]0-i smiled then over this dose of maternal tenderness , coming from [the ruddy old lady of the Seven Hills]3837-the ruddy old lady of the seven hills ; smiled , too , at [my]0-i own disinclination , not to say disability , to meet these melting favours . Glancing at the title - page , [I]0-i found the name of " [Pere Silas]289-pere silas . "[0-i] A fly- leaf bore in small , but clear and well - known pencil characters : " From P. C. D. E. to L - y. "[0-i] And when [I]0-i saw this [I]0-i laughed : but not in [my]0-i former spirit . [I]0-i was revived . A mortal bewilderment cleared suddenly from [my]0-i head and vision ; the solution of the Sphinx - riddle was won ; the conjunction of those two names , [Pere Silas]289-pere silas and [Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul , gave the key to all . [The penitent]3838-the penitent had been with [[his]3838-the penitent director]3839-his director ; permitted to withhold nothing ; suffered to keep no corner of [his]3838-the penitent heart sacred to [God]164-god and to [himself]3838-the penitent ; the whole narrative of [our]3840-our late interview had been drawn from [him]3838-the penitent ; [he]3838-the penitent had avowed the covenant of fraternity , and spoken of [[his]3838-the penitent adopted sister]3841-his adopted sister . How could such a covenant , such adoption , be sanctioned by [the Church]108-the church ? Fraternal communion with [a heretic]3842-a heretic ! [I]0-i seemed to hear [Pere Silas]289-pere silas annulling the unholy pact ; warning [his]3838-the penitent penitent of its perils ; entreating , enjoining reserve , nay , by the authority of [[his]3838-the penitent office]3843-his office , and in the name , and by the memory of all [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul held most dear and sacred , commanding the enforcement of that new system whose frost had pierced to the marrow of [my]0-i bones . These may not seem pleasant hypotheses ; yet , by comparison , they were welcome . The vision of [a ghostly troubler hovering in the background]3844-a ghostly troubler hovering in the background , was as nothing , matched with the fear of spontaneous change arising in [M. Paul]196-m. paul [himself]196-m. paul . At this distance of time , [I]0-i can not be sure how far the above conjectures were self - suggested : or in what measure [they]3845-they owed [their]3845-they origin and confirmation to another quarter . [Help]445-help was not wanting . This evening there was no bright sunset : [west and east]3846-west and east were one cloud ; no summer night - mist , blue , yet rose - tinged , softened the distance ; a clammy fog from [the marshes]3847-the marshes crept grey round [Villette]3-villette . To - night the watering - pot might rest in its niche by the well : a small rain had been drizzling all the afternoon , and still it fell fast and quietly . This was no weather for rambling in [the wet alleys]3848-the wet alleys , under the dripping trees ; and [I]0-i started to hear [Sylvie]444-sylvie 's sudden bark in [the garden]1165-the garden - [her]444-sylvie bark of welcome . Surely [she]444-sylvie was not accompanied and yet this glad , quick bark was never uttered , save in homage to one presence . Through the glass door and the arching berceau , [I]0-i commanded [the deep vista of [the allee defendue]3851-the allee defendue]3850-the deep vista of the allee defendue : thither rushed [Sylvie]444-sylvie , glistening through [its]444-sylvie gloom like a white guelder - rose . [She]444-sylvie ran to and fro , whining , springing , harassing little birds amongst the bushes . [I]0-i watched five minutes ; no fulfilment followed the omen . [I]0-i returned to [my]0-i books ; [Sylvie]444-sylvie 's sharp bark suddenly ceased . Again [I]0-i looked up . [She]444-sylvie was standing not many yards distant , wagging [her]444-sylvie white feathery tail as fast as the muscle would work , and intently watching the operations of a spade , plied fast by an indefatigable hand . There was [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , bent over the soil , digging in the wet mould amongst the rain - laden and streaming shrubs , working as hard as if [his]196-m. paul day 's pittance were yet to earn by the literal sweat of [his]196-m. paul brow . In this sign [I]0-i read a ruffled mood . [He]196-m. paul would dig thus in frozen snow on the coldest winter day , when urged inwardly by painful emotion , whether of nervous excitation , or , sad thoughts of self - reproach . [He]196-m. paul would dig by the hour , with knit brow and set teeth , nor once lift [his]196-m. paul head , or open [his]196-m. paul lips . [Sylvie]444-sylvie watched till [she]444-sylvie was tired . Again scampering devious , bounding here , rushing there , snuffing and sniffing everywhere ; [she]444-sylvie at last discovered [me]0-i in classe . Instantly [she]444-sylvie flew barking at the panes , as if to urge [me]0-i forth to share [her]444-sylvie pleasure or [[her]444-sylvie master]3852-her master 's toil ; [she]444-sylvie had seen [me]0-i occasionally walking in [that alley]3853-that alley with [M. Paul]196-m. paul ; and [I]0-i doubt not , considered it [my]0-i duty to join [him]196-m. paul now , wet as it was . [She]444-sylvie made such a bustle that [M. Paul]196-m. paul at last looked up , and of course perceived why , and at whom [she]444-sylvie barked . [He]196-m. paul whistled to call [her]444-sylvie off ; [she]444-sylvie only barked the louder . [She]444-sylvie seemed quite bent upon having the glass door opened . Tired , [I]0-i suppose , with [her]444-sylvie importunity , [he]196-m. paul threw down [his]196-m. paul spade , approached , and pushed the door ajar . [Sylvie]444-sylvie burst in all impetuous , sprang to [my]0-i lap , and with [her]444-sylvie paws at [my]0-i neck , and [her]444-sylvie little nose and tongue somewhat overpoweringly busy about [my]0-i face , mouth , and eyes , flourished [her]444-sylvie bushy tail over the desk , and scattered books and papers far and wide . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul advanced to still the clamour and repair the disarrangement . Having gathered up the books , [he]196-m. paul captured [Sylvie]444-sylvie , and stowed [her]444-sylvie away under [his]196-m. paul paletot , where [she]444-sylvie nestled as quiet as a mouse , [her]444-sylvie head just peeping forth . [She]444-sylvie was very tiny , and had the prettiest little innocent face , the silkiest long ears , the finest dark eyes in [the world]811-the world . [I]0-i never saw [her]444-sylvie , but [I]0-i thought of [Paulina de Bassompierre]141-paulina : forgive the association , [reader]4604-reader , it would occur . [M. Paul]196-m. paul petted and patted [her]444-sylvie ; the endearments [she]444-sylvie received were not to be wondered at ; [she]444-sylvie invited affection by [her]444-sylvie beauty and [her]444-sylvie vivacious life . While caressing the spaniel , [his]196-m. paul eye roved over the papers and books just replaced ; it settled on the religious tract . [His]196-m. paul lips moved ; [he]196-m. paul half checked the impulse to speak . What ! had [he]196-m. paul promised never to address [me]0-i more ? If so , [his]196-m. paul better nature pronounced the vow " more honoured in the breach than in the observance , "[196-m. paul] for with a second effort , [he]196-m. paul spoke . - " [You]0-i have not yet read the brochure , [I]196-m. paul presume ? It is not sufficiently inviting ? "[196-m. paul] [I]0-i replied that [I]0-i had read it . [He]196-m. paul waited , as if wishing [me]0-i to give an opinion upon it unasked . Unasked , however , [I]0-i was in no mood to do or say anything . If any concessions were to be made - if any advances were demanded - that was the affair of [the very docile pupil of [Pere Silas]289-pere silas]3856-the very docile pupil of pere silas , not [mine]0-i . [His]196-m. paul eye settled upon [me]0-i gently : there was mildness at the moment in its blue ray - there was solicitude - a shade of pathos ; there were meanings composite and contrasted - reproach melting into remorse . At the moment probably , [he]196-m. paul would have been glad to see something emotional in [me]0-i . [I]0-i could not show it . In another minute , however , [I]0-i should have betrayed confusion , had [I]0-i not bethought [myself]0-i to take some quill - pens from [my]0-i desk , and begin soberly to mend them . [I]0-i knew that action would give a turn to [his]196-m. paul mood . [He]196-m. paul never liked to see [me]0-i mend pens ; [my]0-i knife was always dull - edged - [my]0-i hand , too , was unskilful ; [I]0-i hacked and chipped . On this occasion [I]0-i cut [my]0-i own finger - half on purpose . [I]0-i wanted to restore [him]196-m. paul to [his]196-m. paul natural state , to set [him]196-m. paul at [his]196-m. paul ease , to get [him]196-m. paul to chide . " [Maladroit]446-maladroit ! "[196-m. paul] [he]196-m. paul cried at last , ' [she]3857-she will make mincemeat of [her]3857-she hands . " [He]196-m. paul put [Sylvie]444-sylvie down , making [her]444-sylvie lie quiet beside [his]196-m. paul bonnet - grec , and , depriving [me]196-m. paul of the pens and penknife , proceeded to slice , nib , and point with the accuracy and celerity of a machine . "[196-m. paul] Did [I]0-i like the little book ? " [he]196-m. paul now inquired . Suppressing a yawn , [I]0-i said [I]0-i hardly knew . "[0-i] Had it moved [me]0-i ? " "[0-i] [I]0-i thought it had made [me]0-i a little sleepy . " After a pause : "[0-i] Allons donc ! It was of no use taking that tone with [him]196-m. paul . Bad as [I]0-i was - and [he]196-m. paul should be sorry to have to name all [my]0-i faults at a breath - [God]164-god and nature had given [me]0-i ' trop de sensibilite et de sympathie ' not to be profoundly affected by an appeal so touching . " "[196-m. paul] Indeed ! " [I]196-m. paul responded , rousing [myself]196-m. paul quickly , "[196-m. paul] [I]0-i was not affected at all - not a whit . " And in proof , [I]196-m. paul drew from [my]196-m. paul pocket a perfectly dry handkerchief , still clean and in its folds . Hereupon [I]196-m. paul was made the object of a string of strictures rather piquant than polite . [I]196-m. paul listened with zest . After those two days of unnatural silence , it was better than music to hear [M. Paul]196-m. paul haranguing again just in [his]196-m. paul old fashion . [I]196-m. paul listened , and meantime solaced [myself]196-m. paul and [Sylvie]444-sylvie with the contents of a bonbonniere , which [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's gifts kept well supplied with chocolate comfits : It pleased [him]196-m. paul to see even a small matter from [his]196-m. paul hand duly appreciated . [He]196-m. paul looked at [me]196-m. paul and the spaniel while [we]7120-we shared the spoil ; [he]196-m. paul put up [his]196-m. paul penknife . Touching [my]196-m. paul hand with the bundle of new - cut quills , [he]196-m. paul said : - "[196-m. paul] Dites donc , [petite soeur]3858-petite soeur - speak frankly - what have [you]3858-petite soeur thought of [me]0-i during the last two days ? " But of this question [I]3858-petite soeur would take no manner of notice ; its purport made [my]3858-petite soeur eyes fill . [I]3858-petite soeur caressed [Sylvie]444-sylvie assiduously . M. [Paul]196-m. paul , leaning - over the desk , bent towards [me]3858-petite soeur : - "[3858-petite soeur] [I]0-i called [myself]0-i [[your]3858-petite soeur brother]3859-your brother , " [he]0-i said : "[0-i] [I]0-i hardly know what [I]0-i am - [brother]3860-brother - [friend]5752-friend - [I]0-i can not tell . [I]0-i know [I]0-i think of [you]3858-petite soeur - [I]0-i feel [I]0-i wish , [you]3858-petite soeur well - but [I]0-i must check [myself]0-i ; [you]3858-petite soeur are to be feared . [[My]0-i best friends]3862-my best friends point out danger , and whisper caution . " "[3862-my best friends] [You]3858-petite soeur do right to listen to [[your]3858-petite soeur friends]3167-your friends . By all means be cautious . " "[3862-my best friends] It is [your]3858-petite soeur religion - [your]3858-petite soeur strange , self - reliant , invulnerable creed , whose influence seems to clothe [you]3858-petite soeur in , [I]0-i know not what , unblessed panoply . [You]3858-petite soeur are good - [Pere Silas]289-pere silas calls [you]3858-petite soeur good , and loves [you]3858-petite soeur - but [your]3858-petite soeur terrible , proud , earnest Protestantism , there is the danger . It expresses itself by [your]3858-petite soeur eye at times ; and again , it gives [you]3858-petite soeur certain tones and certain gestures that make [my]0-i flesh creep . [You]3858-petite soeur are not demonstrative , and yet , just now - when [you]3858-petite soeur handled that tract - [[my]0-i God]3864-my god ! [I]0-i thought [Lucifer]262-lucifer smiled . " "[262-lucifer] Certainly [I]0-i do n't respect that tract - what then ? " "[0-i] Not respect that tract ? But it is the pure essence of faith , love , charity ! [I]0-i thought it would touch [you]3858-petite soeur : in its gentleness , [I]0-i trusted that it could not fail . [I]0-i laid it in [your]3858-petite soeur desk with a prayer : [I]0-i must indeed be [a sinner]3865-a sinner : [Heaven]188-heaven will not hear the petitions that come warmest from [my]0-i heart . [You]3858-petite soeur scorn [my]0-i little offering . Oh , cela [me]0-i fait mal ! " "[3866-monsieur] [Monsieur]3866-monsieur , [I]0-i do n't scorn it - at least , not as [your]3866-monsieur gift . [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , sit down ; listen to [me]0-i . [I]0-i am not [a heathen]3868-a heathen , [I]0-i am not hard - hearted , [I]0-i am not unchristian , [I]0-i am not dangerous , as [they]3869-they tell [you]3866-monsieur ; [I]0-i would not trouble [your]3866-monsieur faith ; [you]3866-monsieur believe in [God]164-god and [Christ]447-christ and the Bible , and so do [I.]0-i " "[0-i] But do [you]3866-monsieur believe in the Bible ? Do [you]3866-monsieur receive Revelation ? What limits are there to the wild , careless daring of [[your]3866-monsieur country]3870-your country and sect . [Pere Silas]289-pere silas dropped dark hints . " By dint of persuasion , [I]289-pere silas made [him]289-pere silas half - define these hints ; they amounted to crafty Jesuit - slanders . That night [M. Paul]196-m. paul and [I]289-pere silas talked seriously and closely . [He]289-pere silas pleaded , [he]289-pere silas argued . [I]289-pere silas could not argue - a fortunate incapacity ; it needed but triumphant , logical opposition to effect all [the director]7121-the director wished to be effected ; but [I]289-pere silas could talk in [my]289-pere silas own way - the way [M. Paul]196-m. paul was used to - and of which [he]289-pere silas could follow the meanderings and fill the hiatus , and pardon the strange stammerings , strange to [him]289-pere silas no longer . At ease with [him]289-pere silas , [I]289-pere silas could defend [my]289-pere silas creed and faith in [my]289-pere silas own fashion ; in some degree [I]289-pere silas could lull [his]289-pere silas prejudices . [He]289-pere silas was not satisfied when [he]289-pere silas went away , hardly was [he]289-pere silas appeased ; but [he]289-pere silas was made thoroughly to feel that [Protestants]412-protestants were not necessarily [the irreverent Pagans [[his]289-pere silas director]3839-his director had insinuated]7122-the irreverent pagans his director had insinuated ; [he]289-pere silas was made to comprehend something of [their]412-protestants mode of honouring the Light , the Life , the Word ; [he]289-pere silas was enabled partly to perceive that , while [their]412-protestants veneration for things venerable was not quite like that cultivated in [[his]289-pere silas Church]7124-his church , it had [its]7124-his church own , perhaps , deeper power - [its]7124-his church own more solemn awe . [I]289-pere silas found that [Pere Silas]289-pere silas [himself]289-pere silas , [I]289-pere silas must repeat , not [a bad man]7125-a bad man , though [the advocate of a bad cause]7126-the advocate of a bad cause had darkly stigmatized [Protestants]412-protestants in general , and [myself]289-pere silas by inference , with strange names , had ascribed to [us]7127-us strange "[289-pere silas] isms ; " [Monsieur Emanuel]384-monsieur paul revealed all this in [his]384-monsieur paul frank fashion , which knew not secretiveness , looking at [me]429-justine marie as [he]384-monsieur paul spoke with a kind , earnest fear , almost trembling lest there should be truth in the charges . [Pere Silas]289-pere silas , it seems , had closely watched [me]429-justine marie , had ascertained that [I]429-justine marie went by turns , and indiscriminately , to [the three Protestant Chapels of [Villette]3-villette]7128-the three protestant chapels of villette - the French , German , and English - [i]429-justine marie d est , [the Presbyterian , Lutheran , Episcopalian]7129-the presbyterian , lutheran , episcopalian . Such liberality argued in [the father]2571-the father 's eyes profound indifference - who tolerates all , [he]289-pere silas reasoned , can be attached to none . Now , it happened that [I]429-justine marie had often secretly wondered at the minute and unimportant character of the differences between [these three sects]7131-these three sects - at the unity and identity of [their]7131-these three sects vital doctrines : [I]429-justine marie saw nothing to hinder [them]7131-these three sects from being one day fused into one grand Holy Alliance , and [I]429-justine marie respected [them]7131-these three sects all , though [I]429-justine marie thought that in each there were faults of form , incumbrances , and trivialities . Just what [I]429-justine marie thought , that did [I]429-justine marie tell [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , and explained to [him]196-m. paul that [my]429-justine marie own last appeal , the guide to which [I]429-justine marie looked , and [the teacher which [I]429-justine marie owned]7132-the teacher which i owned , must always be the Bible itself , rather than any sect , of whatever name or [nation]7133-nation . [He]196-m. paul left [me]429-justine marie soothed , yet full of solicitude , breathing a wish , as strong as a prayer , that if [I]429-justine marie were wrong , [Heaven]188-heaven would lead [me]429-justine marie right . [I]429-justine marie heard , poured forth on the threshold , some fervid murmurings to "[429-justine marie] [Marie]429-justine marie , [Reine du Ciel]448-reine du ciel , " some deep aspiration that [his]196-m. paul hope might yet be [mine]429-justine marie . Strange ! [I]448-reine du ciel had no such feverish wish to turn [him]196-m. paul from the faith of [[his]196-m. paul fathers]7134-his fathers . [I]448-reine du ciel thought Romanism wrong , a great mixed image of gold and clay ; but it seemed to [me]448-reine du ciel that [this Romanist]7135-this romanist held the purer elements of [his]7135-this romanist creed with an innocency of heart which [God]164-god must love . The preceding conversation passed between eight and nine o'clock of the evening , in [a schoolroom of the quiet Rue Fossette]7136-a schoolroom of the quiet rue fossette , opening on [a sequestered garden]7137-a sequestered garden . Probably about the same , or a somewhat later hour of the succeeding evening , its echoes , collected by holy obedience , were breathed verbatim in an attent ear , at the panel of a confessional , in [the hoary church of [the Magi]3534-the magi]7138-the hoary church of the magi . It ensued that [Pere Silas]289-pere silas paid a visit to [Madame Beck]190-madame , and stirred by [I]448-reine du ciel know not what mixture of motives , persuaded [her]190-madame to let [him]289-pere silas undertake for a time [the Englishwoman]1627-the englishwoman 's spiritual direction . Hereupon [I]448-reine du ciel was put through a course of reading - that is , [I]448-reine du ciel just glanced at the books lent [me]448-reine du ciel ; they were too little in [my]448-reine du ciel way to be thoroughly read , marked , learned , or inwardly digested . And besides , [I]448-reine du ciel had a book up - stairs , under [my]448-reine du ciel pillow , whereof certain chapters satisfied [my]448-reine du ciel needs in the article of spiritual lore , furnishing such precept and example as , to [my]448-reine du ciel heart 's core , [I]448-reine du ciel was convinced could not be improved on . Then [Pere Silas]289-pere silas showed [me]448-reine du ciel [the fair side of [Rome]54-rome]7141-the fair side of rome , [her]190-madame good works ; and bade [me]448-reine du ciel judge the tree by its fruits . In answer , [I]448-reine du ciel felt and [I]448-reine du ciel avowed that these works were not the fruits of [Rome]54-rome ; they were but [her]190-madame abundant blossoming , but the fair promise [she]190-madame showed [the world]811-the world , That bloom , when set , savoured not of charity ; the apple full formed was ignorance , abasement , and bigotry . Out of [men]4397-men 's afflictions and affections were forged the rivets of [their]4397-men servitude . [Poverty]449-poverty was fed and clothed , and sheltered , to bind it by obligation to "[448-reine du ciel] [the Church]5217-the church ; " orphanage was reared and educated that it might grow up in the fold of "[5217-the church] [the Church]5217-the church ; " sickness was tended that it might die after the formula and in the ordinance of "[448-reine du ciel] [the Church]5217-the church ; " and [men]4397-men were overwrought , and [women]4398-women most murderously sacrificed , and all laid down a world [God]164-god made pleasant for [[his]164-god creatures]7146-his creatures ' good , and took up a cross , monstrous in its galling weight , that [they]7146-his creatures might serve [Rome]54-rome , prove [her]190-madame sanctity , confirm [her]190-madame power , and spread the reign of [her]190-madame tyrant "[448-reine du ciel] Church . " For [man]618-man 's good was little done ; for [God]164-god 's glory , less . A thousand ways were opened with pain , with blood - sweats , with lavishing of life ; mountains were cloven through [their]4397-men breasts , and rocks were split to their base ; and all for what ? That [a Priesthood]7148-a priesthood might march straight on and straight upward to an all - dominating eminence , whence [they]7148-a priesthood might at last stretch the sceptre of [[their]7148-a priesthood Moloch "[448-reine du ciel] Church]7149-their moloch " church . " It will not be . [God]164-god is not with [Rome]54-rome , and , were human sorrows still for [the Son of God]7150-the son of god , would [he]7150-the son of god not mourn over [her]190-madame cruelties and ambitions , as once [he]7150-the son of god mourned over the crimes and woes of doomed [Jerusalem]109-jerusalem ! Oh , [[lovers of power !]7151-lovers of power !]7151-lovers of power ! Oh , mitred aspirants for [[this world]4390-this world 's kingdoms]7154-this world 's kingdoms ! an hour will come , even to [you]7155-you , when it will be well for [your]7155-you hearts - pausing faint at each broken beat - that there is a Mercy beyond human compassions , a Love , stronger than this strong death which even [you]7155-you must face , and before it , fall ; a Charity more potent than any sin , even [yours]7155-you ; a Pity which redeems worlds - nay , absolves [Priests]7156-priests . [My]0-i third temptation was held out in the pomp of [Rome]54-rome - the glory of [[her]190-madame kingdom]7157-her kingdom . [I]0-i was taken to [the churches]7158-the churches on solemn occasions - days of fete and state ; [I]0-i was shown the Papal ritual and ceremonial . [I]0-i looked at it . [Many people]844-many people - [men]4397-men and [women]4398-women - no doubt far [[my]0-i superiors]7162-my superiors in a thousand ways , have felt this display impressive , have declared that though [their]844-many people Reason protested , [their]844-many people Imagination was subjugated . [I]0-i can not say the same . Neither full procession , nor high mass , nor swarming tapers , nor swinging censers , nor ecclesiastical millinery , nor celestial jewellery , touched [my]0-i imagination a whit . What [I]0-i saw struck [me]0-i as tawdry , not grand ; as grossly material , not poetically spiritual . This [I]0-i did not tell [Pere Silas]289-pere silas ; [he]289-pere silas was old , [he]289-pere silas looked venerable : through every abortive experiment , under every repeated disappointment , [he]289-pere silas remained personally kind to [me]0-i , and [I]0-i felt tender of hurting [his]289-pere silas feelings . But on the evening of a certain day when , from the balcony of [a great house]4783-a great house , [I]0-i had been made to witness a huge mingled procession of [the church]5217-the church and [the army]7165-the army - [priests]7156-priests with relics , and [soldiers with weapons]7167-soldiers with weapons , [an obese and aged archbishop , habited in cambric and lace]7168-an obese and aged archbishop , habited in cambric and lace , looking strangely like a grey daw in bird - of- paradise plumage , and a band of [young girls fantastically robed and garlanded]7169-young girls fantastically robed and garlanded - then [I]0-i spoke [my]0-i mind to [M. Paul]196-m. paul . "[0-i] [I]0-i did not like it , " [I]0-i told [him]196-m. paul ; "[0-i] [I]0-i did not respect such ceremonies ; [I]0-i wished to see no more . " And having relieved [my]164-god conscience by this declaration , [I]164-god was able to go on , and , speaking more currently and clearly than [my]164-god wo nt , to show [him]196-m. paul that [I]164-god had a mind to keep to [my]164-god reformed creed ; the more [I]164-god saw of [Popery]450-popery the closer [I]164-god clung to Protestantism ; doubtless there were errors in [every church]7170-every church , but [I]164-god now perceived by contrast how severely pure was [my]164-god own , compared with [her]7171-her whose painted and meretricious face had been unveiled for [my]164-god admiration . [I]164-god told [him]196-m. paul how [we]7172-we kept fewer forms between [us]7172-we and [God]164-god ; retaining , indeed , no more than , perhaps , the nature of [mankind]7173-mankind in the mass rendered necessary for due observance . [I]164-god told [him]196-m. paul [I]164-god could not look on flowers and tinsel , on wax- lights and embroidery , at such times and under such circumstances as should be devoted to lifting the secret vision to [Him]196-m. paul whose home is [Infinity]110-infinity , and [His]196-m. paul being - Eternity . That when [I]164-god thought of sin and sorrow , of earthly corruption , mortal depravity , weighty temporal woe - [I]164-god could not care for chanting [priests]7156-priests or [mumming officials]7175-mumming officials ; that when the pains of existence and the terrors of dissolution pressed before [me]164-god - when the mighty hope and measureless doubt of the future arose in view - then , even the scientific strain , or the prayer in a language learned and dead , harassed : with hindrance a heart which only longed to cry - "[164-god] [God]164-god be merciful to [me]0-i , [a sinner]3865-a sinner ! " When [I]164-god had so spoken , so declared [my]164-god faith , and so widely severed [myself]164-god , from [him]196-m. paul [I]164-god addressed - then , at last , came a tone accordant , an echo responsive , one sweet chord of harmony in two conflicting spirits . "[164-god] Whatever say [priests]7156-priests or [controversialists]3876-controversialists , " murmured [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , "[7156-priests] [God]164-god is good , and loves all the sincere . Believe , then , what [you]3877-you can ; believe it as [you]3877-you can ; one prayer , at least , [we]3878-we have in common ; [I]0-i also cry - ' O Dieu , sois appaise envers moi qui suis pecheur ! ' " [He]196-m. paul leaned on the back of [my]0-i chair . After some thought [he]196-m. paul again spoke : "[0-i] How seem in the eyes of [that God who made all firmaments , from whose nostrils issued whatever of life is here]3879-that god who made all firmaments , from whose nostrils issued whatever of life is here , or in the stars shining yonder - how seem the differences of [man]618-man ? But as Time is not for [God]164-god , nor Space , so neither is Measure , nor Comparison . [We]3878-we abase [ourselves]3878-we in [our]3878-we littleness , and [we]3878-we do right ; yet it may be that the constancy of one heart , the truth and faith of one mind according to the light [He]164-god has appointed , import as much to [Him]164-god as the just motion of satellites about [[their]3881-their planets]3882-their planets , of planets about [their]3881-their suns , of suns around that mighty unseen centre incomprehensible , irrealizable , with strange mental effort only divined . " [God]164-god guide [us]3878-we all ! [God]164-god bless [you]141-paulina , [Lucy]142-lucy ! "[164-god] CHAPTER XXXVII . SUNSHINE . It was very , well for [Paulina]141-paulina to decline further correspondence with [Graham]135-graham till [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father had sanctioned the intercourse . But [Dr. Bretton]135-graham could not live within [a league of [the Hotel Crecy]2993-the hotel crecy]3884-a league of the hotel crecy , and not contrive to visit [there]512-there often . [Both lovers]3887-both lovers meant at first , [I]0-i believe , to be distant ; [they]3887-both lovers kept [their]3887-both lovers intention so far as demonstrative courtship went , but in feeling [they]3887-both lovers soon drew very near . All that was best in [Graham]135-graham sought [Paulina]141-paulina ; whatever in [him]135-graham was noble , awoke , and grew in [her]141-paulina presence . With [his]135-graham past admiration of [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , [I]0-i suppose [his]135-graham intellect had little to do , but [his]135-graham whole intellect , and [his]135-graham highest tastes , came in question now . These , like all [his]135-graham faculties , were active , eager for nutriment , and alive to gratification when it came . [I]0-i can not say that [Paulina]141-paulina designedly led [him]135-graham to talk of books , or formally proposed to [herself]141-paulina for a moment the task of winning [him]135-graham to reflection , or planned the improvement of [his]135-graham mind , or so much as fancied [his]135-graham mind could in any one respect be improved . [She]141-paulina thought [him]135-graham very perfect ; it was [Graham]135-graham [himself]135-graham , who , at first by the merest chance , mentioned some book [he]135-graham had been reading , and when in [her]141-paulina response sounded a welcome harmony of sympathies , something , pleasant to [his]135-graham soul , [he]135-graham talked on , more and better perhaps than [he]135-graham had ever talked before on such subjects . [She]141-paulina listened with delight , and answered with animation . In each successive answer , [Graham]135-graham heard a music waxing finer and finer to [his]135-graham sense ; in each [he]135-graham found a suggestive , persuasive , magic accent that opened a , scarce - known treasure - house within , showed [him]135-graham unsuspected power in [his]135-graham own mind , and what was better , latent goodness in [his]135-graham heart . [Each]3207-each liked the way in which [the other]641-the other talked ; the voice , the diction , the expression pleased ; each keenly relished the flavour of [the other]641-the other 's wit ; [they]3891-they met [each other]4318-each other 's meaning with strange quickness , [their]3891-they thoughts often matched like carefully - chosen pearls . [Graham]135-graham had wealth of mirth by nature ; [Paulina]141-paulina possessed no such inherent flow of animal spirits - unstimulated , [she]141-paulina inclined to be thoughtful and pensive - but now [she]141-paulina seemed merry as a lark ; in [[her]141-paulina lover]5767-her lover 's genial presence , [she]141-paulina glanced like some soft glad light . How beautiful [she]141-paulina grew in [her]141-paulina happiness , [I]0-i can hardly express , but [I]0-i wondered to see [her]141-paulina . As to that gentle ice of [hers]141-paulina - that reserve on which [she]141-paulina had depended ; where was it now ? Ah ! [Graham]135-graham would not long bear it ; [he]135-graham brought with [him]135-graham a generous influence that soon thawed the timid , self - imposed restriction . Now were the old [Bretton]135-graham days talked over ; perhaps brokenly at first , with a sort of smiling diffidence , then with opening candour and still growing confidence . [Graham]135-graham had made for [himself]135-graham a better opportunity than that [he]135-graham had wished [me]0-i to give ; [he]135-graham had earned independence of the collateral help that disobliging [Lucy]142-lucy had refused ; all [his]135-graham reminiscences of " [little Polly]141-paulina "[135-graham] found [their]3894-their proper expression in [his]135-graham own pleasant tones , by [his]135-graham own kind and handsome lips ; how much better than if suggested by [me]0-i . More than once when [we]3895-we were alone , [Paulina]141-paulina would tell [me]0-i how wonderful and curious it was to discover the richness and accuracy of [his]135-graham memory in this matter . How , while [he]135-graham was looking at [her]141-paulina , recollections would seem to be suddenly quickened in [his]135-graham mind . [He]135-graham reminded [her]141-paulina that [she]141-paulina had once gathered [his]135-graham head in [her]141-paulina arms , caressed [his]135-graham leonine graces , and cried out , " [Graham]135-graham , [I]141-paulina do like [you]135-graham ! "[141-paulina] [He]135-graham told [her]141-paulina how [she]141-paulina would set a footstool beside [him]135-graham , and climb by its aid to [his]135-graham knee . At this day [he]135-graham said [he]135-graham could recall the sensation of [her]141-paulina little hands smoothing [his]135-graham cheek , or burying themselves in [his]135-graham thick mane . [He]135-graham remembered the touch of [her]141-paulina small forefinger , placed half tremblingly , half curiously , in the cleft in [his]135-graham chin , the lisp , the look with which [she]141-paulina would name it " a pretty dimple , "[141-paulina] then seek [his]135-graham eyes and question why they pierced so , telling [him]135-graham [he]135-graham had a " nice , strange face ; far nicer , far stranger , than either [[his]135-graham mamma]7176-his mamma or [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy . "[141-paulina] " Child as [I]141-paulina was , "[141-paulina] remarked [Paulina]141-paulina , " [I]141-paulina wonder how [I]141-paulina dared be so venturous . To [me]141-paulina [he]135-graham seems now all sacred , [his]135-graham locks are inaccessible , and , [Lucy]142-lucy , [I]141-paulina feel a sort of fear , when [I]141-paulina look at [his]135-graham firm , marble chin , at [his]135-graham straight Greek features . [Women]4398-women are called beautiful , [Lucy]142-lucy ; [he]135-graham is not like [a woman]4363-a woman , therefore [I]141-paulina suppose [he]135-graham is not beautiful , but what is [he]135-graham , then ? Do [other people]1151-other people see [him]135-graham with [my]141-paulina eyes ? Do [you]3896-i admire [him]135-graham ? "[141-paulina] " [I]0-i 'll tell [you]3896-i what [I]0-i do , [Paulina]141-paulina , "[0-i] was once [my]0-i answer to [her]3896-i many questions . " [I]3896-i never see [him]135-graham . [I]3896-i looked at [him]135-graham twice or thrice about a year ago , before [he]135-graham recognised [me]3896-i , and then [I]3896-i shut [my]3896-i eyes ; and if [he]135-graham were to cross [their]7180-their balls twelve times between each day 's sunset and sunrise , except from memory , [I]3896-i should hardly know what shape had gone by . "[3896-i] " [Lucy]142-lucy , what do [you]142-lucy mean ? "[3896-i] said [she]3896-i , under [her]3896-i breath . " [I]3896-i mean that [I]3896-i value vision , and dread being struck stone blind . "[3896-i] It was best to answer [her]3896-i strongly at once , and to silence for ever the tender , passionate confidences which left [her]3896-i lips sweet honey , and sometimes dropped in [my]0-i ear - molten lead . To [me]0-i , [she]3896-i commented no more on [[her]3896-i lover]5767-her lover 's beauty . Yet speak of [him]5767-her lover [she]3896-i would ; sometimes shyly , in quiet , brief phrases ; sometimes with a tenderness of cadence , and music of voice exquisite in itself ; but which chafed [me]0-i at times miserably ; and then , [I]0-i know , [I]0-i gave [her]3896-i stern looks and words ; but cloudless happiness had dazzled [her]3896-i native clear sight , and [she]3896-i only thought [Lucy]142-lucy - fitful . " [Spartan girl]7181-spartan girl ! [Proud Lucy]451-lucy ! "[3896-i] [she]3896-i would say , smiling at [me]0-i . " [Graham]135-graham says [you]7181-spartan girl are [the most peculiar , capricious little woman [he]135-graham knows]7182-the most peculiar , capricious little woman he knows ; but yet [you]7181-spartan girl are excellent ; [we]7183-you both think so . "[3896-i] " [You]7183-you both think [you]7183-you know not what , "[0-i] said [I.]0-i " Have the goodness to make [me]0-i as little the subject of [your]7183-you mutual talk and thoughts as possible . [I]0-i have [my]0-i sort of life apart from [yours]7183-you . "[0-i] " But [ours]7184-ours , [Lucy]451-lucy , is a beautiful life , or it will be ; and [you]451-lucy shall share it . "[3896-i] " [I]3896-i shall share [no man]7185-no man 's or [woman]619-woman 's life in [this world]4390-this world , as [you]7183-you understand sharing . [I]3896-i think [I]3896-i have [one friend of [my]3896-i own]7188-one friend of my own , but am not sure ; and till [I]3896-i am sure , [I]3896-i live solitary . "[3896-i] " But solitude is sadness . "[0-i] " Yes ; it is sadness . Life , however ; has worse than that . Deeper than melancholy , lies heart - break . "[3896-i] " [Lucy]451-lucy , [I]3896-i wonder if [anybody]4239-anybody will ever comprehend [you]451-lucy altogether . "[3896-i] There is , in [lovers]3898-lovers , a certain infatuation of egotism ; [they]3898-lovers will have a witness of [their]3898-lovers happiness , cost that witness what it may . [Paulina]141-paulina had forbidden letters , yet [Dr. Bretton]135-graham wrote ; [she]141-paulina had resolved against correspondence , yet [she]141-paulina answered , were it only to chide . [She]141-paulina showed [me]0-i these letters ; with something of [the spoiled child]3899-the spoiled child 's wilfulness , and of [the heiress]3900-the heiress 's imperiousness , [she]141-paulina made [me]0-i read them . As [I]0-i read [Graham]135-graham 's , [I]0-i scarce wondered at [her]141-paulina exaction , and understood [her]141-paulina pride : they were fine letters - manly and fond - modest and gallant . [Hers]141-paulina must have appeared to [him]135-graham beautiful . They had not been written to show [her]141-paulina talents ; still less , [I]0-i think , to express [her]141-paulina love . On the contrary , it appeared that [she]141-paulina had proposed to [herself]141-paulina the task of hiding that feeling , and bridling [[her]141-paulina lover]5767-her lover 's ardour . But how could such letters serve such a purpose ? [Graham]135-graham was become dear as [her]141-paulina life ; [he]135-graham drew [her]141-paulina like a powerful magnet . For [her]141-paulina there was influence unspeakable in all [he]135-graham uttered , wrote , thought , or looked . With this unconfessed confession , [her]141-paulina letters glowed ; it kindled them , from greeting to adieu . " [I]141-paulina wish [papa]4218-papa knew ; [I]141-paulina do wish [papa]4218-papa knew ! "[141-paulina] began now to be [her]141-paulina anxious murmur . " [I]141-paulina wish , and yet [I]141-paulina fear . [I]141-paulina can hardly keep [Graham]135-graham back from telling [him]4218-papa . There is nothing [I]141-paulina long for more than to have this affair settled - to speak out candidly ; and yet [I]141-paulina dread the crisis . [I]141-paulina know , [I]141-paulina am certain , [papa]4218-papa will be angry at the first ; [I]141-paulina fear [he]4218-papa will dislike [me]141-paulina almost ; it will seem to [him]4218-papa an untoward business ; it will be a surprise , a shock : [I]141-paulina can hardly foresee its whole effect on [him]4218-papa . "[141-paulina] The fact was - [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father , long calm , was beginning to be a little stirred : long blind on one point , an importunate light was beginning to trespass on [his]643-her father eye . To [her]141-paulina , [he]643-her father said nothing ; but when [she]141-paulina was not looking at , or perhaps thinking of [him]643-her father , [I]0-i saw [him]643-her father gaze and meditate on [her]141-paulina . One evening - [Paulina]141-paulina was in [[her]141-paulina dressing - room]3903-her dressing - room , writing , [I]0-i believe , to [Graham]135-graham ; [she]141-paulina had left [me]0-i in [the library]2633-the library , reading - [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre came in ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre sat down : [I]0-i was about to withdraw ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre requested [me]0-i to remain - gently , yet in a manner which showed [he]178-m. de bassompierre wished compliance . [He]178-m. de bassompierre had taken [his]178-m. de bassompierre seat near the window , at a distance from [me]0-i ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre opened a desk ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre took from it what looked like a memorandum - book ; of this book [he]178-m. de bassompierre studied a certain entry for several minutes . " [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , "[178-m. de bassompierre] said [he]178-m. de bassompierre , laying it down , " do [you]0-i know [[my]178-m. de bassompierre little girl]4294-my little girl 's age ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " About eighteen , is it not , [sir]976-sir ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " It seems so . This old pocket - book tells [me]178-m. de bassompierre [she]4294-my little girl was born on the 5th of May , in the year 18 - , eighteen years ago . It is strange ; [I]178-m. de bassompierre had lost the just reckoning of [her]4294-my little girl age . [I]178-m. de bassompierre thought of [her]4294-my little girl as twelve - fourteen - an indefinite date ; but [she]4294-my little girl seemed [a child]4415-a child . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [She]4294-my little girl is about eighteen , "[0-i] [I]0-i repeated . " [She]4294-my little girl is grown up ; [she]4294-my little girl will be no taller . "[0-i] " [[My]178-m. de bassompierre little jewel]7196-my little jewel ! "[178-m. de bassompierre] said [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , in a tone which penetrated like some of [[his]178-m. de bassompierre daughter]686-his daughter 's accents . [He]178-m. de bassompierre sat very thoughtful . " [Sir]976-sir , do n't grieve , "[0-i] [I]0-i said ; for [I]0-i knew [his]178-m. de bassompierre feelings , utterly unspoken as they were . " [She]4294-my little girl is the only pearl [I]178-m. de bassompierre have , "[178-m. de bassompierre] [he]178-m. de bassompierre said ; " and now [others]770-others will find out that [she]4294-my little girl is pure and of price : [they]770-others will covet [her]4294-my little girl . "[178-m. de bassompierre] [I]0-i made no answer . [Graham Bretton]135-graham had dined with [us]3906-us that day ; [he]135-graham had shone both in converse and looks : [I]0-i know not what pride of bloom embellished [his]135-graham aspect and mellowed [his]135-graham intercourse . Under the stimulus of a high hope , something had unfolded in [his]135-graham whole manner which compelled attention . [I]0-i think [he]135-graham had purposed on that day to indicate the origin of [his]135-graham endeavours , and the aim of [his]135-graham ambition . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre had found [himself]178-m. de bassompierre forced , in a manner , to descry the direction and catch the character of [his]178-m. de bassompierre homage . Slow in remarking , [he]178-m. de bassompierre was logical in reasoning : having once seized the thread , it had guided [him]178-m. de bassompierre through [a long labyrinth]3907-a long labyrinth . " Where is [she]4294-my little girl ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] [he]178-m. de bassompierre asked . " [She]4294-my little girl is up - [stairs]593-stairs . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " What is [she]4294-my little girl doing ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [She]4294-my little girl is writing . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [She]4294-my little girl writes , does [she]4294-my little girl ? Does [she]4294-my little girl receive letters ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " None but such as [she]4294-my little girl can show [me]178-m. de bassompierre . And - [sir]976-sir - [she]4294-my little girl - [they]7201-they have long wanted to consult [you]976-sir . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [Pshaw]452-pshaw ! [They]7201-they do n't think of [me]178-m. de bassompierre - [an old father]7202-an old father ! [I]178-m. de bassompierre am in the way . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Ah , [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre - not so - that ca n't be ! But [Paulina]141-paulina must speak for [herself]141-paulina : and [Dr. Bretton]135-graham , too , must be [[his]135-graham own advocate]7203-his own advocate . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " It is a little late . Matters are advanced , it seems . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [Sir]976-sir , till [you]976-sir approve , nothing is done - only [they]7201-they love [each other]4318-each other . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Only ! "[3908-he] [he]3908-he echoed . Invested by fate with the part of [confidante and mediator]3909-confidante and mediator , [I]0-i was obliged to go on : " Hundreds of times has [Dr. Bretton]135-graham been on the point of appealing to [you]976-sir , [sir]976-sir ; but , with all [his]135-graham high courage , [he]135-graham fears [you]976-sir mortally . "[0-i] " [He]135-graham may well - [he]135-graham may well fear [me]178-m. de bassompierre . [He]135-graham has touched the best thing [I]178-m. de bassompierre have . Had [he]135-graham but let [her]7207-her alone , [she]7207-her would have remained [a child]4415-a child for years yet . So . Are [they]7201-they engaged ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [They]7201-they could not become engaged without [your]976-sir permission . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " It is well for [you]976-sir , [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , to talk and think with that propriety which always characterizes [you]976-sir ; but this matter is a grief to [me]178-m. de bassompierre ; [[my]178-m. de bassompierre little girl]4294-my little girl was all [I]178-m. de bassompierre had : [I]178-m. de bassompierre have [no more daughters]7210-no more daughters and [no son]6984-no son ; [Bretton]135-graham might as well have looked elsewhere ; there are [scores of rich and pretty women who would not , [I]178-m. de bassompierre daresay , dislike [him]135-graham : [he]135-graham has looks , and conduct , and connection . Would nothing serve [him]135-graham but [[my]178-m. de bassompierre Polly]6396-my polly]7212-scores of rich and pretty women who would not , i daresay , dislike him : he has looks , and conduct , and connection . would nothing serve him but my polly ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " If [he]135-graham had never seen [your]976-sir ' [Polly]141-paulina , ' [others]770-others might and would have pleased [him]135-graham - [[your]976-sir niece]7215-your niece , [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra , for instance . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Ah ! [I]3910-i would have given [him]135-graham [Ginevra]179-ginevra with all [my]3910-i heart ; but [Polly]141-paulina ! - [I]3910-i ca n't let [him]135-graham have [her]141-paulina . No - [I]3910-i ca n't . [He]135-graham is not [her]141-paulina equal , "[3910-i] [he]3910-i affirmed , rather gruffly . " In what particular is [he]135-graham [[her]141-paulina match]7216-her match ? [They]7217-they talk of fortune ! [I]3910-i am not [an avaricious or interested man]7218-an avaricious or interested man , but [the world]811-the world thinks of these things - and [Polly]141-paulina will be rich . "[3910-i] " Yes , that is known , "[0-i] said [I]0-i : " all [Villette]3-villette knows [her]141-paulina as [an heiress]7220-an heiress . "[0-i] " Do [they]7217-they talk of [[my]178-m. de bassompierre little girl]4294-my little girl in that light ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [They]7217-they do , [sir]976-sir . "[3910-i] [He]3910-i fell into deep thought . [I]0-i ventured to say , " Would [you]3910-i , [sir]976-sir , think [any one]1135-any one [Paulina]141-paulina 's match ? Would [you]3910-i prefer any other to [Dr. Bretton]135-graham ? Do [you]3910-i think higher rank or more wealth would make much difference in [your]3910-i feelings towards [a future son - in - law]7225-a future son - in - law ? "[0-i] " [You]0-i touch [me]3910-i there , "[3910-i] said [he]3910-i . " Look at [the aristocracy of [Villette]3-villette]7226-the aristocracy of villette - [you]3910-i would not like [them]7226-the aristocracy of villette , [sir]976-sir ? "[3910-i] " [I]178-m. de bassompierre should not - never [a duc]7228-a duc , [baron]7229-baron , or [vicomte of the lot]7230-vicomte of the lot . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [I]0-i am told [many of [these persons]7232-these persons]7231-many of these persons think about [her]7233-her , [sir]976-sir , "[0-i] [I]0-i went on , gaining courage on finding that [I]0-i met attention rather than repulse . " [Other suitors]7235-other suitors will come , therefore , if [Dr. Bretton]135-graham is refused . Wherever [you]976-sir go , [I]178-m. de bassompierre suppose , [aspirants]7236-aspirants will not be wanting . [Independent of [heiress - ship]7238-heiress - ship]7237-independent of heiress - ship , it appears to [me]178-m. de bassompierre that [Paulina]141-paulina charms [most of those who see [her]141-paulina]7239-most of those who see her . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Does [she]141-paulina ? How ? [[My]178-m. de bassompierre little girl]4294-my little girl is not thought [a beauty]7241-a beauty . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [Sir]976-sir , [Miss de Bassompierre]348-miss de bassompierre is very beautiful . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Nonsense ! - begging [your]976-sir pardon , [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , but [I]178-m. de bassompierre think [you]976-sir are too partial . [I]178-m. de bassompierre like [Polly]141-paulina : [I]178-m. de bassompierre like all [her]141-paulina ways and all [her]141-paulina looks - but then [I]178-m. de bassompierre am [[her]141-paulina father]643-her father ; and even [I]178-m. de bassompierre never thought about beauty . [She]141-paulina is amusing , fairy - like , interesting to [me]178-m. de bassompierre ; - [you]976-sir must be mistaken in supposing [her]141-paulina handsome ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [She]141-paulina attracts , [sir]976-sir : [she]141-paulina would attract without the advantages of [your]976-sir wealth and position . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [My]178-m. de bassompierre wealth and position ! Are these any bait to [Graham]135-graham ? If [I]178-m. de bassompierre thought so - - "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [Dr. Bretton]135-graham knows these points perfectly , as [you]976-sir may be sure , [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , and values them as [any gentleman]7245-any gentleman would - as [you]976-sir would [yourself]976-sir , under the same circumstances - but they are not [his]135-graham baits . [He]135-graham loves [[your]976-sir daughter]7246-your daughter very much ; [he]135-graham feels [her]141-paulina finest qualities , and [they]7247-they influence [him]135-graham worthily . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " What ! has [my]178-m. de bassompierre little pet ' fine qualities ? ' "[178-m. de bassompierre] " Ah , [sir]976-sir ! did [you]976-sir observe [her]141-paulina that evening when [so many men of eminence and learning]7249-so many men of eminence and learning dined [here]4212-here ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [I]178-m. de bassompierre certainly was rather struck and surprised with [her]141-paulina manner that day ; its womanliness made [me]178-m. de bassompierre smile . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " And did [you]976-sir see those accomplished Frenchmen gather round [her]141-paulina in [the drawing - room]568-the drawing - room ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [I]178-m. de bassompierre did ; but [I]178-m. de bassompierre thought it was by way of relaxation - as one might amuse [one]607-one 's self with [a pretty infant]7253-a pretty infant . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [Sir]976-sir , [she]141-paulina demeaned [herself]141-paulina with distinction ; and [I]178-m. de bassompierre heard [the French gentlemen]7255-the french gentlemen say [she]141-paulina was ' petrie d'esprit et de graces . ' [Dr. Bretton]135-graham thought the same . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [She]141-paulina is [a good , dear child]7256-a good , dear child , that is certain ; and [I]3911-i do believe [she]141-paulina has some character . When [I]3911-i think of it , [I]3911-i was once ill ; [Polly]141-paulina nursed [me]3911-i ; [they]7255-the french gentlemen thought [I]3911-i should die ; [she]141-paulina , [I]3911-i recollect , grew at once stronger and tenderer as [I]3911-i grew worse in health . And as [I]3911-i recovered , what a sunbeam [she]141-paulina was in [[my]3911-i sick - room]7257-my sick - room ! Yes ; [she]141-paulina played about [my]3911-i chair as noiselessly and as cheerful as light . And now [she]141-paulina is sought in marriage ! [I]3911-i do n't want to part with [her]141-paulina , "[3911-i] said [he]3911-i , and [he]3911-i groaned . " [You]3911-i have known [Dr. and Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton so long , "[0-i] [I]0-i suggested , " it would be less like separation to give [her]141-paulina to [him]3911-i than to another . "[3911-i] [He]3911-i reflected rather gloomily . " True . [I]3911-i have long known [Louisa Bretton]350-louisa bretton , "[3911-i] [he]3911-i murmured . " [She]141-paulina and [I]3911-i are indeed old , [old friends]7258-old friends ; [a sweet , kind girl [she]141-paulina was when [she]141-paulina was young]7259-a sweet , kind girl she was when she was young . [You]3911-i talk of beauty , [Miss Snowe]142-lucy ! [she]141-paulina was handsome , if [you]3911-i will - tall , straight , and blooming - not [the mere child]7260-the mere child or [elf]7261-elf [[my]3911-i Polly]6396-my polly seems to [me]3911-i : at eighteen , [Louisa]350-louisa bretton had [a carriage]7263-a carriage and stature fit for [a princess]7264-a princess . [She]141-paulina is [a comely and a good woman]7265-a comely and a good woman now . [The lad]7266-the lad is like [her]141-paulina ; [I]3911-i have always thought so , and favoured and wished [him]7266-the lad well . Now [he]7266-the lad repays [me]3911-i by this robbery ! [My]3911-i little treasure used to love [[her]3913-her old father]7267-her old father dearly and truly . It is all over now , doubtless - [I]3911-i am [an incumbrance]7268-an incumbrance . "[3911-i] The door opened - [his]3912-his " little treasure "[3913-her] came in . [She]3913-her was dressed , so to speak , in evening beauty ; that animation which sometimes comes with the close of day , warmed [her]3913-her eye and cheek ; a tinge of summer crimson heightened [her]3913-her complexion ; [her]3913-her curls fell full and long on [her]3913-her lily neck ; [her]3913-her white dress suited the heat of [June]423-june . Thinking [me]0-i alone , [she]3913-her had brought in [her]3913-her hand the letter just written - brought it folded but unsealed . [I]0-i was to read it . When [she]3913-her saw [[her]3913-her father]643-her father , [her]3913-her tripping step faltered a little , paused a moment - the colour in [her]3913-her cheek flowed rosy over [her]3913-her whole face . " [Polly]141-paulina , "[178-m. de bassompierre] said [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre , in a low voice , with a grave smile , " do [you]141-paulina blush at seeing [papa]140-papa ? That is something new . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [I]3913-her do n't blush - [I]3913-her never do blush , "[3913-her] affirmed [she]3913-her , while another eddy from the heart sent up its scarlet . " But [I]178-m. de bassompierre thought [you]141-paulina were in [the dining - room]4338-the dining - room , and [I]178-m. de bassompierre wanted [Lucy]142-lucy . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [You]141-paulina thought [I]178-m. de bassompierre was with [John Graham Bretton]135-graham , [I]178-m. de bassompierre suppose ? But [he]135-graham has just been called out : [he]135-graham will be back soon , [Polly]141-paulina . [He]135-graham can post [your]141-paulina letter for [you]141-paulina ; it will save [Matthieu]453-matthieu a ' course , ' as [he]135-graham calls it . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [I]3913-her do n't post letters , "[3913-her] said [she]3913-her , rather pettishly . " What do [you]141-paulina do with them , then ? - come here and tell [me]3913-her . "[3913-her] Both [her]3913-her mind and gesture seemed to hesitate a second - to say " Shall [I]3913-her come ? "[3913-her] - but [she]3913-her approached . " How long is it since [you]141-paulina became [a letter - writer]7270-a letter - writer , [Polly]141-paulina ? It only seems yesterday when [you]141-paulina were at [your]141-paulina pot - hooks , labouring away absolutely with both hands at the pen . "[3913-her] " [Papa]140-papa , they are not letters to send to the post in [your]140-papa letter - bag ; they are only notes , which [I]178-m. de bassompierre give now and then into [the person]7271-the person 's hands , just to satisfy . "[178-m. de bassompierre] " [The person]7271-the person ! That means [Miss Snowe]142-lucy , [I]3913-her suppose ? "[3913-her] " No , [papa]4218-papa - not [Lucy]142-lucy . "[3913-her] " Who then ? Perhaps [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton ? "[178-m. de bassompierre] " No , [papa]4218-papa - not [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton . "[3913-her] " Who , then , [[my]3913-her little daughter]7275-my little daughter ? Tell [papa]140-papa the truth . "[3913-her] " Oh , [papa]4218-papa ! "[3915-i] [she]3915-i cried with earnestness , " [I]3915-i will - [I]3915-i will tell [you]4218-papa the truth - all the truth ; [I]3915-i am glad to tell [you]4218-papa - glad , though [I]3915-i tremble . "[3915-i] [She]3915-i did tremble : growing excitement , kindling feeling , and also gathering courage , shook [her]3915-i . " [I]3915-i hate to hide [my]3915-i actions from [you]4218-papa , [papa]4218-papa . [I]3915-i fear [you]4218-papa and love [you]4218-papa above everything but [God]164-god . Read the letter ; look at the address . "[3915-i] [She]3915-i laid it on [his]3916-i knee . [He]3916-i took it up and read it through ; [his]3916-i hand shaking , [his]3916-i eyes glistening meantime . [He]3916-i re - folded it , and viewed [the writer]2334-the writer with a strange , tender , mournful amaze . " Can [she]2334-the writer write so - the little thing that stood at [my]3916-i knee but yesterday ? Can [she]2334-the writer feel so ? "[3916-i] " [Papa]140-papa , is it wrong ? Does it pain [you]140-papa ? "[3916-i] " There is nothing wrong in it , [[my]3916-i innocent little [Mary]141-paulina]7278-my innocent little mary ; but it pains [me]3916-i . "[3916-i] " But , [papa]4218-papa , listen ! [You]4218-papa shall not be pained by [me]3916-i . [I]3916-i would give up everything - almost "[3916-i] correcting [herself]3915-i ; " [I]3916-i would die rather than make [you]4218-papa unhappy ; that would be too wicked ! "[3916-i] [She]3915-i shuddered . " Does the letter not please [you]4218-papa ? Must it not go ? Must it be torn ? It shall , for [your]4218-papa sake , if [you]4218-papa order it . "[3915-i] " [I]3916-i order nothing . "[3916-i] " Order something , [papa]4218-papa ; express [your]4218-papa wish ; only do n't hurt , do n't grieve [Graham]135-graham . [I]3916-i can not , can not bear that . [I]3916-i love [you]4218-papa , [papa]4218-papa ; but [I]3916-i love [Graham]135-graham too - because - because - it is impossible to help it . "[3916-i] " This splendid [Graham]135-graham is [a young scamp]7282-a young scamp , [Polly]141-paulina - that is [my]3915-i present notion of [him]135-graham : it will surprise [you]4218-papa to hear that , for [my]3915-i part , [I]3915-i do not love [him]135-graham one whit . Ah ! years ago [I]3915-i saw something in [that lad]7283-that lad 's eye [I]3915-i never quite fathomed - something [[his]135-graham mother]534-his mother has not - a depth which warned [a man not to wade into that stream]7285-a man not to wade into that stream too far ; now , suddenly , [I]3915-i find [myself]3915-i taken over the crown of the head . "[3915-i] " [Papa]140-papa , [you]140-papa do n't - [you]140-papa have not fallen in ; [you]140-papa are safe on [the bank]7286-the bank ; [you]140-papa can do as [you]140-papa please ; [your]140-papa power is despotic ; [you]140-papa can shut [me]3916-i up in [a convent]1396-a convent , and break [Graham]135-graham 's heart to - morrow , if [you]140-papa choose to be so cruel . Now , [autocrat]7288-autocrat , now [czar]7289-czar , will [you]140-papa do this ? "[3916-i] " Off with [him]135-graham to [Siberia]111-siberia , red whiskers and all ; [I]3916-i say , [I]3916-i do n't like [him]135-graham , [Polly]141-paulina , and [I]3916-i wonder that [you]141-paulina should . "[3916-i] " [Papa]140-papa , "[3918-she] said [she]3918-she , " do [you]140-papa know [you]140-papa are very naughty ? [I]3918-she never saw [you]140-papa look so disagreeable , so unjust , so almost vindictive before . There is an expression in [your]140-papa face which does not belong to [you]140-papa . "[3918-she] " Off with [him]135-graham ! "[134-mr. home] pursued [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , who certainly did look sorely crossed and annoyed - even a little bitter ; " but , [I]134-mr. home suppose , if [he]135-graham went , [Polly]141-paulina would pack a bundle and run after [him]135-graham ; [her]141-paulina heart is fairly won - won , and weaned from [[her]141-paulina old father]7267-her old father . "[134-mr. home] " [Papa]140-papa , [I]3916-i say it is naughty , it is decidedly wrong , to talk in that way . [I]3916-i am not weaned from [you]140-papa , and [no human being]3817-no human being and no mortal influence can [wean]7292-wean [me]3916-i . "[3916-i] " Be married , [Polly]141-paulina ! Espouse the red whiskers . Cease to be [a daughter]6240-a daughter ; go and be [a wife]5852-a wife ! "[134-mr. home] " [Red whiskers]7295-red whiskers ! [I]3916-i wonder what [you]140-papa mean , [papa]4218-papa . [You]140-papa should take care of prejudice . [You]140-papa sometimes say to [me]3916-i that [all the Scotch]7297-all the scotch , [[your]140-papa countrymen]7298-your countrymen , are [the victims of prejudice]7299-the victims of prejudice . It is proved now , [I]3916-i think , when no distinction is to be made between red and deep nut - brown . "[3916-i] " Leave [the prejudiced old Scotchman]7300-the prejudiced old scotchman ; go away . "[3919-her] [She]3919-her stood looking at [him]3920-you a minute . [She]3919-her wanted to show firmness , superiority to taunts ; knowing [[her]3919-her father]643-her father 's character , guessing [his]3920-you few foibles , [she]3919-her had expected the sort of scene which was now transpiring ; it did not take [her]3919-her by surprise , and [she]3919-her desired to let it pass with dignity , reliant upon reaction . [Her]3919-her dignity stood [her]3919-her in no stead . Suddenly [her]3919-her soul melted in [her]3919-her eyes ; [she]3919-her fell on [his]3920-you neck : - " [I]3919-her wo n't leave [you]3920-you , [papa]4218-papa ; [I]3919-her 'll never leave [you]3920-you . [I]3919-her wo n't pain [you]3920-you ! [I]3919-her 'll never pain [you]3920-you ! "[3919-her] was [her]3919-her cry . " [[My]3922-the loving though rugged sire lamb]7302-my lamb ! [my]3922-the loving though rugged sire treasure ! "[3922-the loving though rugged sire] murmured [the loving though rugged sire]3922-the loving though rugged sire . [He]3920-you said no more for the moment ; indeed , those two words were hoarse . [The room]600-the room was now darkening . [I]0-i heard a movement , a step without . Thinking it might be [a servant coming with candles]3924-a servant coming with candles , [I]0-i gently opened , to prevent intrusion . In [the ante - room]3925-the ante - room stood [no servant]3623-no servant : [a tall gentleman]3927-a tall gentleman was placing [his]3927-a tall gentleman hat on the table , drawing off [his]3927-a tall gentleman gloves slowly - lingering , waiting , it seemed to [me]0-i . [He]3927-a tall gentleman called [me]0-i neither by sign nor word ; yet [his]3927-a tall gentleman eye said : - " [Lucy]142-lucy , come here . "[3927-a tall gentleman] And [I]0-i went . Over [his]3927-a tall gentleman face a smile flowed , while [he]3927-a tall gentleman looked down on [me]0-i : no temper , save [his]3927-a tall gentleman own , would have expressed by a smile the sort of agitation which now fevered [him]3927-a tall gentleman . " M. [de Bassompierre]141-paulina is there - is [he]3927-a tall gentleman not ? "[3927-a tall gentleman] [he]3927-a tall gentleman inquired , pointing to [the library]2633-the library . " Yes . "[3927-a tall gentleman] " [He]3927-a tall gentleman noticed [me]134-mr. home at dinner ? [He]3927-a tall gentleman understood [me]134-mr. home ? "[134-mr. home] " Yes , [Graham]135-graham . "[134-mr. home] " [I]3927-a tall gentleman am brought up for judgment , then , and so is [she]141-paulina ? "[3927-a tall gentleman] " [Mr. Home]134-mr. home "[134-mr. home] [we]3929-we now and always continued to term [him]3927-a tall gentleman [Mr. Home]134-mr. home at times " is talking to [[his]3927-a tall gentleman daughter]686-his daughter . "[134-mr. home] " Ha ! These are sharp moments , [Lucy]142-lucy ! "[3927-a tall gentleman] [He]3927-a tall gentleman was quite stirred up ; [his]3927-a tall gentleman young hand trembled ; a vital [I]0-i was going to write mortal , but such words ill apply to [one all living like [him]3927-a tall gentleman]3930-one all living like him - a vital suspense now held , now hurried , [his]3927-a tall gentleman breath : in all this trouble [his]3927-a tall gentleman smile never faded . " Is [he]3927-a tall gentleman very angry , [Lucy]142-lucy ? "[3927-a tall gentleman] " [She]141-paulina is very faithful , [Graham]135-graham . "[0-i] " What will be done unto [me]3927-a tall gentleman ? "[3927-a tall gentleman] " [Graham]135-graham , [your]135-graham star must be fortunate . "[3927-a tall gentleman] " Must it ? [Kind prophet]7304-kind prophet ! So cheered , [I]0-i should be a faint heart indeed to quail . [I]0-i think [I]0-i find [all women]1386-all women faithful , [Lucy]142-lucy . [I]0-i ought to love [them]1386-all women , and [I]0-i do . [[My]0-i mother]4268-my mother is good ; [she]4268-my mother is divine ; and [you]135-graham are true as steel . Are [you]135-graham not ? "[0-i] " Yes , [Graham]135-graham . "[0-i] " Then give [me]3931-he [thy]142-lucy hand , [[my]3931-he little god - sister]7307-my little god - sister : it is a friendly little hand to [me]3931-he , and always has been . And now for the great venture . [God]164-god be with the right . [Lucy]142-lucy , say Amen ! "[3931-he] [He]3931-he turned , and waited till [I]0-i said " Amen ! "[0-i] - which [I]0-i did to please [him]3931-he : the old charm , in doing as [he]3931-he bid [me]0-i , came back . [I]0-i wished [him]3931-he success ; and successful [I]0-i knew [he]3931-he would be . [He]3931-he was born victor , as [some are born vanquished]3932-some are born vanquished . " Follow [me]3931-he ! "[3931-he] [he]3931-he said ; and [I]0-i followed [him]3931-he into [Mr. Home]134-mr. home 's presence . " [Sir]976-sir , "[3931-he] [he]3931-he asked , " what is [my]3931-he sentence ? "[3931-he] [The father]2571-the father looked at [him]3931-he : [the daughter]3934-the daughter kept [her]3934-the daughter face hid . " Well , [Bretton]135-graham , "[134-mr. home] said [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , " [you]135-graham have given [me]134-mr. home the usual reward of hospitality . [I]134-mr. home entertained [you]135-graham ; [you]135-graham have taken [my]134-mr. home best . [I]134-mr. home was always glad to see [you]135-graham ; [you]135-graham were glad to see the one precious thing [I]134-mr. home had . [You]134-mr. home spoke [me]134-mr. home fair ; and , meantime , [I]134-mr. home will not say [you]134-mr. home robbed [me]134-mr. home , but [I]134-mr. home am bereaved , and what [I]134-mr. home have lost , [you]135-graham , it seems , have won . "[134-mr. home] " [Sir]976-sir , [I]3931-he can not repent . "[3931-he] " Repent ! Not [you]134-mr. home ! [You]135-graham triumph , no doubt : [John Graham]135-graham , [you]135-graham descended partly from [a Highlander]7310-a highlander and [a chief]7311-a chief , and there is a trace of [the Celt]454-the celt in all [you]135-graham look , speak , and think . [You]135-graham have [his]135-graham cunning and [his]135-graham charm . The red - Well then , [Polly]141-paulina , the fair hair , the tongue of guile , and brain of wile , are all come down by inheritance . "[134-mr. home] " [Sir]976-sir , [I]135-graham feel honest enough , "[135-graham] said [Graham]135-graham ; and a genuine English blush covered [his]135-graham face with its warm witness of sincerity . " And yet , "[135-graham] [he]135-graham added , " [I]135-graham wo n't deny that in some respects [you]976-sir accuse [me]135-graham justly . In [your]976-sir presence [I]135-graham have always had a thought which [I]135-graham dared not show [you]976-sir . [I]135-graham did truly regard [you]976-sir as the possessor of the most valuable thing [the world]811-the world owns for [me]135-graham . [I]135-graham wished for it : [I]135-graham tried for it . [Sir]976-sir , [I]135-graham ask for it now . "[135-graham] " [John]135-graham , [you]135-graham ask much . "[135-graham] " Very much , [sir]976-sir . It must come from [your]976-sir generosity , as a gift ; from [your]976-sir justice , as a reward . [I]135-graham can never earn it . "[135-graham] " Ay ! Listen to the Highland tongue ! "[134-mr. home] said [Mr. Home]134-mr. home . " Look up , [Polly]141-paulina ! Answer this ' braw wooer ; ' send [him]3937-her furrowed sire away ! "[3935-i] [She]3935-i looked up . [She]3935-i shyly glanced at [[her]3935-i eager , handsome suitor]3936-her eager , handsome suitor . [She]3935-i gazed tenderly on [[her]3935-i furrowed sire]3937-her furrowed sire . " [Papa]140-papa , [I]3935-i love [you]140-papa both , "[3935-i] said [she]3935-i ; " [I]3935-i can take care of [you]140-papa both . [I]3935-i need not send [Graham]135-graham away - [he]135-graham can live [here]4212-here ; [he]135-graham will be no inconvenience , "[3935-i] [she]3935-i alleged with that simplicity of phraseology which at times was wo nt to make both [[her]3935-i father]643-her father and [Graham]135-graham smile . [They]3939-i smiled now . " [He]135-graham will be a prodigious inconvenience to [me]3939-i , "[3939-i] still [persisted Mr. Home]134-mr. home . " [I]3939-i do n't want [him]135-graham , [Polly]141-paulina , [he]135-graham is too tall ; [he]135-graham is in [my]3939-i way . Tell [him]135-graham to march . "[3939-i] " [You]141-paulina will get used to [him]135-graham , [papa]4218-papa . [He]135-graham seemed exceedingly tall to [me]3935-i at first - like a tower when [I]3935-i looked up at [him]135-graham ; but , on the whole , [I]3935-i would rather not have [him]135-graham otherwise . "[3935-i] " [I]3935-i object to [him]135-graham altogether , [Polly]141-paulina ; [I]3935-i can do without [a son - in - law]7318-a son - in - law . [I]3935-i should never have requested [the best man in [the land]1701-the land]7319-the best man in the land to stand to [me]3935-i in that relation . Dismiss [this gentleman]5897-this gentleman . "[3935-i] " But [he]135-graham has known [you]141-paulina so long , [papa]4218-papa , and suits [you]141-paulina so well . "[3939-i] " Suits [me]3935-i , forsooth ! Yes ; [he]135-graham has pretended to make [my]3935-i opinions and tastes [his]135-graham own . [He]135-graham has humoured [me]3935-i for good reasons . [I]3935-i think , [Polly]141-paulina , [you]141-paulina and [I]3935-i will bid [him]135-graham good - by . "[3935-i] " Till to - morrow only . Shake hands with [Graham]135-graham , [papa]4218-papa . "[3935-i] " No : [I]3939-i think not : [I]3939-i am not friends with [him]135-graham . Do n't think to coax [me]3939-i between [you]4218-papa . "[3939-i] " Indeed , indeed , [you]4218-papa are [friends]533-friends . [Graham]135-graham , stretch out [your]135-graham right hand . [Papa]140-papa , put out [yours]135-graham . Now , let [them]7325-them touch . [Papa]140-papa , do n't be stiff ; close [your]135-graham fingers ; be pliant - there ! But that is not a clasp - it is a grasp ? [Papa]140-papa , [you]135-graham grasp like a vice . [You]135-graham crush [Graham]135-graham 's hand to the bone ; [you]135-graham hurt [him]135-graham ! "[3935-i] [He]3940-he must have hurt [him]3940-he ; for [he]3940-he wore a massive ring , set round with brilliants , of which the sharp facets cut into [Graham]135-graham 's flesh and drew blood : but pain only made [Dr. John]135-graham laugh , as anxiety had made [him]135-graham smile . " Come with [me]134-mr. home into [[my]134-mr. home study]7326-my study , "[134-mr. home] at last said [Mr. Home]134-mr. home to [the doctor]4288-the doctor . [They]3942-they went . [Their]3942-they intercourse was not long , but [I]0-i suppose it was conclusive . [The suitor]3943-the suitor had to undergo an interrogatory and a scrutiny on many things . Whether [Dr. Bretton]135-graham was at times guileful in look and language or not , there was a sound foundation below . [His]135-graham answers , [I]0-i understood afterwards , evinced both wisdom and integrity . [He]135-graham had managed [his]135-graham affairs well . [He]135-graham had struggled through entanglements ; [his]135-graham fortunes were in the way of retrieval ; [he]135-graham proved [himself]135-graham in a position to marry . Once more [the father]2571-the father and [lover]3945-lover appeared in [the library]2633-the library . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre shut the door ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre pointed to [[his]178-m. de bassompierre daughter]686-his daughter . " Take [her]686-his daughter , "[178-m. de bassompierre] [he]178-m. de bassompierre said . " Take [her]686-his daughter , [John Bretton]135-graham : and may [God]164-god deal with [you]135-graham as [you]135-graham deal with [her]686-his daughter ! "[178-m. de bassompierre] Not long after , perhaps a fortnight , [I]0-i saw [three persons]3948-three persons , [Count de Bassompierre]353-the count de bassompierre , [[his]178-m. de bassompierre daughter]686-his daughter , and [Dr. Graham Bretton]135-graham , sitting on one seat , under a low - spreading and umbrageous tree , in [the grounds of [the palace]3951-the palace at [Bois l'Etang]81-bois l'etang]3950-the grounds of the palace at bois l'etang . [They]3948-three persons had come thither to enjoy a summer evening : outside the magnificent gates [[their]3948-three persons carriage]3952-their carriage waited to take [them]3948-three persons [home]542-home ; the green sweeps of turf spread round [them]3948-three persons quiet and dim ; [the palace]3951-the palace rose at a distance , white as a crag on Pentelicus ; the evening star shone above it ; a forest of flowering shrubs embalmed the climate of [this spot]3955-this spot ; the hour was still and sweet ; the scene , but for [this group]3956-this group , was solitary . [Paulina]141-paulina sat between [the two gentlemen]3957-the two gentlemen : while [they]3957-the two gentlemen conversed , [her]141-paulina little hands were busy at some work ; [I]0-i thought at first [she]141-paulina was binding a nosegay . No ; with the tiny pair of scissors , glittering in [her]141-paulina lap , [she]141-paulina had severed spoils from each manly head beside [her]141-paulina , and was now occupied in plaiting together the grey lock and the golden wave . The plait woven - no silk - thread being at hand to bind it - a tress of [her]141-paulina own hair was made to serve that purpose ; [she]141-paulina tied it like a knot , prisoned it in a locket , and laid it on [her]141-paulina heart . " Now , "[141-paulina] said [she]141-paulina , " there is an amulet made , which has virtue to keep [[you]0-i two always [friends]533-friends]7327-you two always friends . [You]0-i can never quarrel so long as [I]141-paulina wear this . "[141-paulina] An amulet was indeed made , a spell framed which rendered enmity impossible . [She]141-paulina was become a bond to both , an influence over each , a mutual concord . From [them]3957-the two gentlemen [she]141-paulina drew [her]141-paulina happiness , and what [she]141-paulina borrowed , [she]141-paulina , with interest , gave back . " Is there , indeed , such happiness on [earth]4454-earth ? "[0-i] [I]0-i asked , as [I]0-i watched [the father]2571-the father , [the daughter]3934-the daughter , [the future husband]3960-the future husband , now united - all blessed and blessing . Yes ; it is so . Without any colouring of romance , or any exaggeration of fancy , it is so . Some real lives do - for some certain days or years - actually anticipate the happiness of Heaven ; and , [I]0-i believe , if such perfect happiness is once felt by [good people]1789-good people to the wicked it never comes , its sweet effect is never wholly lost . Whatever trials follow , whatever pains of sickness or shades of death , the glory precedent still shines through , cheering the keen anguish , and tinging the deep cloud . [I]0-i will go farther . [I]0-i do believe there are [some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave]3962-some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave , that no excessive suffering penetrates [their]3962-some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave lot , and no tempestuous blackness overcasts [their]3962-some human beings so born , so reared , so guided from a soft cradle to a calm and late grave journey . And often , these are not pampered , [selfish beings]3963-selfish beings , but [Nature]296-nature 's elect , harmonious and benign ; [men]4397-men and [women]4398-women mild with charity , [kind agents of [God]164-god 's kind attributes]3966-kind agents of god 's kind attributes . Let [me]0-i not delay the happy truth . [Graham Bretton]135-graham and [Paulina de Bassompierre]141-paulina were married , and [such an agent]3967-such an agent did [Dr. Bretton]135-graham prove . [He]135-graham did not with time degenerate ; [his]135-graham faults decayed , [his]135-graham virtues ripened ; [he]135-graham rose in intellectual refinement , [he]135-graham won in moral profit : all dregs filtered away , the clear wine settled bright and tranquil . [Bright]455-bright , too , was the destiny of [[his]135-graham sweet wife]3968-his sweet wife . [She]3968-his sweet wife kept [[her]3968-his sweet wife husband]509-her husband 's love , [she]3968-his sweet wife aided in [his]135-graham progress - of [his]135-graham happiness [she]3968-his sweet wife was the corner stone . [This pair]2757-this pair was blessed indeed , for years brought [them]2757-this pair , with great prosperity , great goodness : [they]2757-this pair imparted with open hand , yet wisely . Doubtless [they]2757-this pair knew crosses , disappointments , difficulties ; but these were well borne . More than once , too , [they]2757-this pair had to look on [Him]135-graham whose face flesh scarce can see and live : [they]2757-this pair had to pay [their]2757-this pair tribute to [the King of Terrors]3971-the king of terrors . In the fulness of years , [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre was taken : in ripe old age departed [Louisa Bretton]350-louisa bretton . Once even there rose a cry in [[their]2757-this pair halls]3972-their halls , of [Rachel]456-rachel weeping for [[her]456-rachel children]5002-her children ; but [others]770-others sprang healthy and blooming to replace the lost : [Dr. Bretton]135-graham saw [himself]135-graham live again in [a son who inherited [his]135-graham looks and [his]135-graham disposition]3975-a son who inherited his looks and his disposition ; [he]135-graham had stately daughters , too , like [himself]135-graham : [these children [he]135-graham reared with a suave , yet a firm hand]3976-these children he reared with a suave , yet a firm hand ; [they]3976-these children he reared with a suave , yet a firm hand grew up according to inheritance and nurture . In short , [I]0-i do but speak the truth when [I]0-i say that these two lives of [Graham]135-graham and [Paulina]141-paulina were blessed , like that of [[Jacob]154-jacob 's favoured son]3977-jacob 's favoured son , with " blessings of Heaven above , blessings of [the deep that lies under]7330-the deep that lies under . "[154-jacob] It was so , for [God]164-god saw that it was good . CHAPTER XXXVIII . CLOUD . But it is not so for all . What then ? [His]135-graham will be done , as done it surely will be , whether [we]3978-we humble [ourselves]3978-we to resignation or not . The impulse of creation forwards it ; the strength of powers , seen and unseen , has its fulfilment in charge . Proof of a life to come must be given . In fire and in blood , if needful , must that proof be written . In fire and in blood do [we]3978-we trace the record throughout nature . In fire and in blood does it cross [our]3978-we own experience . [Sufferer]3979-sufferer , faint not through terror of this burning evidence . [Tired wayfarer]3980-tired wayfarer , gird up [thy]3980-tired wayfarer loins ; look upward , march onward . [Pilgrims]3981-pilgrims and [brother mourners]3982-brother mourners , join in friendly company . Dark through [the wilderness of [this world]4390-this world]3983-the wilderness of this world stretches the way for most of [us]3978-we : equal and steady be [our]3978-we tread ; be [our]3978-we cross [our]3978-we banner . For staff [we]3978-we have [His]135-graham promise , whose " word is tried , whose way perfect : "[135-graham] for present hope [His]135-graham providence , " who gives the shield of salvation , whose gentleness makes great ; "[135-graham] for final home [His]135-graham bosom , who " dwells in [the height of Heaven]7331-the height of heaven ; "[135-graham] for crowning prize a glory , exceeding and eternal . Let [us]3978-we so run that [we]3978-we may obtain : let [us]3978-we endure hardness as [good soldiers]3985-good soldiers ; let [us]3978-we finish [our]3978-we course , and keep the faith , reliant in the issue to come off more than [conquerors]3986-conquerors : " Art [thou]7332-thou not from everlasting mine Holy One ? [WE]3978-we SHALL NOT DIE ! "[3987-the master] On a Thursday morning [we]3978-we were all assembled in classe , waiting for the lesson of literature . The hour was come ; [we]3978-we expected [the master]3987-the master . [The pupils of the first classe]3988-the pupils of the first classe sat very still ; the cleanly - written compositions prepared since the last lesson lay ready before [them]3988-the pupils of the first classe , neatly tied with ribbon , waiting to be gathered by the hand of [the Professor]2055-the professor as [he]2055-the professor made [his]2055-the professor rapid round of the desks . The month was July , the morning fine , the glass - door stood ajar , through it played a fresh breeze , and plants , growing at the lintel , waved , bent , looked in , seeming to whisper tidings . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul was not always quite punctual ; [we]3978-we scarcely wondered at [his]196-m. paul being a little late , but [we]3978-we wondered when the door at last opened and , instead of [him]196-m. paul with [his]196-m. paul swiftness and [his]196-m. paul fire , there came quietly upon [us]3978-we the cautious [Madame Beck]190-madame . [She]190-madame approached [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's desk ; [she]190-madame stood before it ; [she]190-madame drew round [her]190-madame the light shawl covering [her]190-madame shoulders ; beginning to speak in low , yet firm tones , and with a fixed gaze , [she]190-madame said , " This morning there will be no lesson of literature . "[190-madame] The second paragraph of [her]190-madame address followed , after about two minutes ' pause . " It is probable the lessons will be suspended for a week . [I]190-madame shall require at least that space of time to find an efficient substitute for [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul . Meanwhile , it shall be [[our]3978-we study]7333-our study to fill the blanks usefully . "[190-madame] [[Your]3990-you Professor]3991-your professor , [ladies]622-ladies , " [she]190-madame went on , "[190-madame] intends , if possible , duly to take leave of [you]3990-you . At the present moment [he]3991-your professor has not leisure for that ceremony . [He]3991-your professor is preparing for a long voyage . A very sudden and urgent summons of duty calls [him]3991-your professor to a great distance . [He]3991-your professor has decided to leave [Europe]17-europe for an indefinite time . Perhaps [he]3991-your professor may tell [you]3990-you more [himself]3991-your professor . [Ladies]622-ladies , instead of the usual lesson with [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , [you]3990-you will , this morning , read English with [Mademoiselle Lucy]333-lucy . " [She]190-madame bent [her]190-madame head courteously , drew closer the folds of [her]190-madame shawl , and passed from [the classe]2648-the classe . A great silence fell : then a murmur went round [the room]600-the room : [I]196-m. paul believe [some pupils]7336-some pupils wept . Some time elapsed . The noise , the whispering , the occasional sobbing increased . [I]196-m. paul became conscious of a relaxation of discipline , a sort of growing disorder , as if [[my]196-m. paul girls]7337-my girls felt that vigilance was withdrawn , and that surveillance had virtually left [the classe]2648-the classe . Habit and the sense of duty enabled [me]196-m. paul to rally quickly , to rise in [my]196-m. paul usual way , to speak in [my]196-m. paul usual tone , to enjoin , and finally to establish quiet . [I]196-m. paul made the English reading long and close . [I]196-m. paul kept [them]7337-my girls at it the whole morning . [I]196-m. paul remember feeling a sentiment of impatience towards [the pupils who sobbed]7339-the pupils who sobbed . Indeed , [their]7339-the pupils who sobbed emotion was not of much value : it was only an hysteric agitation . [I]196-m. paul told [them]7339-the pupils who sobbed so unsparingly . [I]196-m. paul half ridiculed [them]7339-the pupils who sobbed . [I]196-m. paul was severe . The truth was , [I]196-m. paul could not do with [their]7339-the pupils who sobbed tears , or that gasping sound ; [I]196-m. paul could not bear it . [A rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil kept it up when [the others]5058-the others had done ; relentless necessity obliged and assisted [me]196-m. paul so to accost [her]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil , that [she]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil dared not carry on the demonstration , that [she]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil was forced to conquer the convulsion . [That girl]7342-that girl would have had a right to hate [me]196-m. paul , except that , when [school]675-school was over and [[her]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil companions]1668-her companions departing , [I]196-m. paul ordered [her]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil to stay , and when [they]1668-her companions were gone , [I]196-m. paul did what [I]196-m. paul had never done to one among [them]1668-her companions before - pressed [her]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil to [my]196-m. paul heart and kissed [her]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil cheek . But , this impulse yielded to , [I]196-m. paul speedily put [her]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil out of the classe , for , upon that poignant strain , [she]7340-a rather weak- minded , low - spirited pupil wept more bitterly than ever . [I]196-m. paul filled with occupation every minute of that day , and should have liked to sit up all night if [I]196-m. paul might have kept a candle burning ; the night , however , proved a bad time , and left bad effects , preparing [me]196-m. paul ill for the next day 's ordeal of insufferable gossip . Of course this news fell under general discussion . Some little reserve had accompanied the first surprise : that soon wore off ; every mouth opened ; every tongue wagged ; [teachers]1087-teachers , [pupils]4924-pupils , [the very servants]7347-the very servants , mouthed the name of "[196-m. paul] [Emanuel]196-m. paul . " [He]196-m. paul , whose connection with [the school]4856-the school was contemporary with its commencement , thus suddenly to withdraw ! [All]4382-all felt it strange . [They]1668-her companions talked so much , so long , so often , that , out of the very multitude of [their]1668-her companions words and rumours , grew at last some intelligence . About the third day [I]196-m. paul heard it said that [he]196-m. paul was to sail in a week ; then - that [he]196-m. paul was bound for [the West Indies]112-the west indies . [I]196-m. paul looked at [Madame Beck]190-madame 's face , and into [her]3994-her eyes , for disproof or confirmation of this report ; [I]196-m. paul perused [her]3994-her all over for information , but no part of [her]3994-her disclosed more than what was unperturbed and commonplace . "[196-m. paul] This secession was an immense loss to [her]3994-her , " [she]3994-her alleged . "[3994-her] [She]3994-her did not know how [she]3994-her should fill up the vacancy . [She]3994-her was so used to [[her]3994-her kinsman]2823-her kinsman , [he]2823-her kinsman had become [her]3994-her right hand ; what should [she]3994-her do without [him]2823-her kinsman ? [She]3994-her had opposed the step , but [M. Paul]196-m. paul had convinced [her]3994-her it was [his]2823-her kinsman duty . " [She]3994-her said all this in public , in classe , at the dinner - table , speaking audibly to [Zelie St. Pierre]261-mademoiselle . "[196-m. paul] Why was it [his]2823-her kinsman duty ? " [I]196-m. paul could have asked [her]3994-her that . [I]196-m. paul had impulses to take hold of [her]3994-her suddenly , as [she]3994-her calmly passed [me]196-m. paul in classe , to stretch out [my]196-m. paul hand and grasp [her]3994-her fast , and say , "[196-m. paul] Stop . Let [us]3996-us hear the conclusion of the whole matter . Why is it [his]2823-her kinsman duty to go into banishment ? " But [Madame]190-madame always addressed [some other teacher]7350-some other teacher , and never looked at [me]457-basseterre , never seemed conscious [I]457-basseterre could have a care in the question . The week wore on . Nothing more was said about [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul coming to bid [us]3996-us good - by ; and [none]4383-none seemed anxious for [his]2823-her kinsman coming ; [none]4383-none questioned whether or not [he]2823-her kinsman would come ; [none]4383-none betrayed torment lest [he]2823-her kinsman should depart silent and unseen ; incessantly did [they]3996-us talk , and never , in all [their]3996-us talk , touched on this vital point . As to [Madame]190-madame , [she]190-madame of course could see [him]2823-her kinsman , and say to [him]2823-her kinsman as much as [she]190-madame pleased . What should [she]190-madame care whether or not [he]2823-her kinsman appeared in [the schoolroom]5162-the schoolroom ? The week consumed . [We]3996-us were told that [he]2823-her kinsman was going on such a day , that [his]2823-her kinsman destination was "[457-basseterre] [Basseterre]457-basseterre in [Guadaloupe]113-guadaloupe : " the business which called [him]2823-her kinsman abroad related to [a friend]1797-a friend 's interests , not [his]2823-her kinsman own : [I]457-basseterre thought as much . "[457-basseterre] Basseterre in [Guadaloupe]113-guadaloupe . " [I]457-basseterre had little sleep about this time , but whenever [I]457-basseterre did slumber , it followed infallibly that [I]457-basseterre was quickly roused with a start , while the words "[457-basseterre] [Basseterre]457-basseterre , " "[457-basseterre] [Guadaloupe]113-guadaloupe , " seemed pronounced over [my]457-basseterre pillow , or ran athwart the darkness round and before [me]457-basseterre , in zigzag characters of red or violet light . For what [I]457-basseterre felt there was no help , and how could [I]457-basseterre help feeling ? [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul had been very kind to [me]457-basseterre of late days ; [he]2823-her kinsman had been growing hourly better and kinder . It was now a month since [we]7356-we had settled the theological difference , and in all that time there had been no quarrel . Nor had [our]7356-we peace been the cold daughter of divorce ; [we]7356-we had not lived aloof ; [he]2823-her kinsman had come oftener , [he]2823-her kinsman had talked with [me]457-basseterre more than before ; [he]2823-her kinsman had spent hours with [me]457-basseterre , with temper soothed , with eye content , with manner home - like and mild . Kind subjects of conversation had grown between [us]7356-we ; [he]2823-her kinsman had inquired into [my]457-basseterre plans of life , and [I]457-basseterre had communicated them ; the school project pleased [him]2823-her kinsman ; [he]2823-her kinsman made [me]457-basseterre repeat it more than once , though [he]2823-her kinsman called it an Alnaschar dream . The jar was over ; the mutual understanding was settling and fixing ; feelings of union and hope made themselves profoundly felt in the heart ; affection and deep esteem and dawning trust had each fastened its bond . What quiet lessons [I]457-basseterre had about this time ! No more taunts on [my]457-basseterre "[457-basseterre] intellect , " no more menaces of grating public shows ! How sweetly , for [the jealous gibe]7357-the jealous gibe , and the more jealous , half - passionate eulogy , were substituted a mute , indulgent help , a fond guidance , and a tender forbearance which forgave but never praised . There were times when [he]2823-her kinsman would sit for many minutes and not speak at all ; and when dusk or duty brought separation , [he]2823-her kinsman would leave with words like these , "[457-basseterre] Il est doux , le repos ! Il est precieux le calme bonheur ! " One evening , not ten short days since , [he]2823-her kinsman joined [me]457-basseterre whilst walking in [[my]457-basseterre alley]5104-my alley . [He]2823-her kinsman took [my]457-basseterre hand . [I]457-basseterre looked up in [his]2823-her kinsman face . [I]457-basseterre thought [he]2823-her kinsman meant to arrest [my]457-basseterre attention . "[457-basseterre] Bonne petite amie ! " said [he]2823-her kinsman , softly ; "[457-basseterre] douce consolatrice ! " But through [his]2823-her kinsman touch , and with [his]2823-her kinsman words , a new feeling and a strange thought found a course . Could it be that [he]2823-her kinsman was becoming more than [friend]5752-friend or [brother]3860-brother ? Did [his]2823-her kinsman look speak a kindness beyond fraternity or amity ? [His]2823-her kinsman eloquent look had more to say , [his]2823-her kinsman hand drew [me]457-basseterre forward , [his]2823-her kinsman interpreting lips stirred . No . Not now . Here into [the twilight alley]7361-the twilight alley broke an interruption : it came dual and ominous : [we]7362-we faced two bodeful forms - [a woman]4363-a woman 's and [a priest]5700-a priest 's - [Madame Beck]190-madame and [Pere Silas]289-pere silas . The aspect of the latter [I]457-basseterre shall never forget . On the first impulse it expressed a Jean - Jacques sensibility , stirred by the signs of affection just surprised ; then , immediately , darkened over it the jaundice of ecclesiastical jealousy . [He]2823-her kinsman spoke to [me]457-basseterre with unction . [He]2823-her kinsman looked on [[his]2823-her kinsman pupil]7365-his pupil with sternness . As to [Madame Beck]190-madame , [she]190-madame , of course , saw nothing - nothing ; though [[her]190-madame kinsman]2823-her kinsman retained in [her]190-madame presence the hand of [the heretic foreigner]7367-the heretic foreigner , not suffering withdrawal , but clasping it close and fast . Following these incidents , that sudden announcement of departure had struck [me]457-basseterre at first as incredible . Indeed , it was only frequent repetition , and the credence of the hundred and fifty minds round [me]457-basseterre , which forced on [me]457-basseterre its full acceptance . As to that week of suspense , with its blank , yet burning days , which brought from [him]2823-her kinsman no word of explanation - [I]457-basseterre remember , but [I]457-basseterre can not describe its passage . The last day broke . Now would [he]2823-her kinsman visit [us]7368-they . Now [he]2823-her kinsman would come and speak [his]2823-her kinsman farewell , or [he]2823-her kinsman would vanish mute , and be seen by [us]7368-they nevermore . This alternative seemed to be present in the mind of not a living creature in [that school]4771-that school . All rose at the usual hour ; all breakfasted as usual ; all , without reference to , or apparent thought of [[their]7368-they late Professor]7370-their late professor , betook [themselves]7368-they with wonted phlegm to [their]7368-they ordinary duties . So oblivious was [the house]518-the house , so tame , so trained its proceedings , so inexpectant its aspect - [I]457-basseterre scarce knew how to breathe in an atmosphere thus stagnant , thus smothering . Would [no one]2867-no one lend [me]457-basseterre a voice ? Had [no one]2867-no one a wish , [no one]2867-no one a word , [no one]2867-no one a prayer to which [I]457-basseterre could say - Amen ? [I]457-basseterre had seen [them]7368-they unanimous in demand for the merest trifle - a treat , a holiday , a lesson 's remission ; [they]7368-they could not , [they]7368-they would not now band to besiege [Madame Beck]190-madame , and insist on a last interview with [a Master who had certainly been loved , at least by some]7376-a master who had certainly been loved , at least by some - loved as [they]7368-they could love - but , oh ! what is the love of [the multitude]7377-the multitude ? [I]457-basseterre knew where [he]7376-a master who had certainly been loved , at least by some lived : [I]457-basseterre knew where [he]7376-a master who had certainly been loved , at least by some was to be heard of , or communicated with ; the distance was scarce a stone's - throw : had it been in [the next room]7378-the next room - unsummoned , [I]457-basseterre could make no use of [my]457-basseterre knowledge . To follow , to seek out , to remind , to recall - for these things [I]457-basseterre had [no faculty]7379-no faculty . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul might have passed within reach of [my]457-basseterre arm : had [he]196-m. paul passed silent and unnoticing , silent and stirless should [I]457-basseterre have suffered [him]196-m. paul to go by . Morning wasted . Afternoon came , and [I]457-basseterre thought all was over . [My]457-basseterre heart trembled in its place . [My]457-basseterre blood was troubled in its current . [I]457-basseterre was quite sick , and hardly knew how to keep at [my]457-basseterre post - or do [my]457-basseterre work . Yet the little world round [me]457-basseterre plodded on indifferent ; all seemed jocund , free of care , or fear , or thought : [the very pupils who , seven days since , had wept hysterically at a startling piece of news]7380-the very pupils who , seven days since , had wept hysterically at a startling piece of news , appeared quite to have forgotten the news , its import , and [their]7380-the very pupils who , seven days since , had wept hysterically at a startling piece of news emotion . A little before five o'clock , the hour of dismissal , [Madame Beck]190-madame sent for [me]457-basseterre to [[her]190-madame chamber]1070-her chamber , to read over and translate some English letter [she]190-madame had received , and to write for [her]190-madame the answer . Before settling to this work , [I]457-basseterre observed that [she]190-madame softly closed the two doors of [[her]190-madame chamber]1070-her chamber ; [she]190-madame even shut and fastened the casement , though it was a hot day , and free circulation of air was usually regarded by [her]190-madame as indispensable . Why this precaution ? A keen suspicion , an almost fierce distrust , suggested such question . Did [she]190-madame want to exclude sound ? what sound ? [I]457-basseterre listened as [I]457-basseterre had never listened before ; [I]457-basseterre listened like the evening and winter - wolf , snuffing the snow , scenting prey , and hearing far off [the traveller]7383-the traveller 's tramp . Yet [I]457-basseterre could both listen and write . About the middle of the letter [I]457-basseterre heard - what checked [my]457-basseterre pen - a tread in [the vestibule]1004-the vestibule . No door - bell had rung ; [Rosine]203-rosine - acting doubtless by orders - had anticipated such reveillee . [Madame]190-madame saw [me]457-basseterre halt . [She]190-madame coughed , made a bustle , spoke louder . The tread had passed on to [the classes]4828-the classes . "[457-basseterre] Proceed , " said [Madame]190-madame ; but [my]3997-my hand was fettered , [my]3997-my ear enchained , [my]3997-my thoughts were carried off captive . [The classes]4828-the classes formed [another building]7387-another building ; [the hall]573-the hall parted [them]4828-the classes from [the dwelling - house]4822-the dwelling - house : despite distance and partition , [I]3997-my heard the sudden stir of numbers , a whole division rising at once . "[3997-my] [They]3997-my are putting away work , " said [Madame]190-madame . It was indeed the hour to put away work , but why that sudden hush - that instant quell of the tumult ? "[3997-my] Wait , [Madame]190-madame - [I]0-i will see what it is . " And [I]0-i put down [my]0-i pen and left [her]190-madame . Left [her]190-madame ? No : [she]190-madame would not be left : powerless to detain [me]0-i , [she]190-madame rose and followed , close as [my]0-i shadow . [I]0-i turned on the last step of the stair . "[0-i] Are [you]190-madame coming , too ? " [I]190-madame asked . "[190-madame] Yes , " said [she]190-madame ; meeting [my]190-madame glance with a peculiar aspect - a look , clouded , yet resolute . [We]7390-we proceeded then , not together , but [she]190-madame walked in [my]190-madame steps . [He]7391-he was come . Entering [the first classe]1533-the first classe , [I]190-madame saw [him]7391-he . There , once more appeared the form most familiar . [I]190-madame doubt not [they]7393-they had tried to keep [him]7391-he away , but [he]7391-he was come . [The girls]4757-the girls stood in a semicircle ; [he]7391-he was passing round , giving [his]7391-he farewells , pressing each hand , touching with [his]7391-he lips each cheek . This last ceremony , foreign custom permitted at such a parting - so solemn , to last so long . [I]190-madame felt it hard that [Madame Beck]190-madame should dog [me]190-madame thus ; following and watching [me]190-madame close ; [my]190-madame neck and shoulder shrunk in fever under [her]190-madame breath ; [I]190-madame became terribly goaded . [He]7391-he was approaching ; the semicircle was almost travelled round ; [he]7391-he came to [the last pupil]7395-the last pupil ; [he]7391-he turned . But [Madame]190-madame was before [me]190-madame ; [she]190-madame had stepped out suddenly ; [she]190-madame seemed to magnify [her]190-madame proportions and amplify [her]190-madame drapery ; [she]190-madame eclipsed [me]190-madame ; [I]190-madame was hid . [She]190-madame knew [my]190-madame weakness and deficiency ; [she]190-madame could calculate the degree of moral paralysis - the total default of self - assertion - with which , in a crisis , [I]190-madame could be struck . [She]190-madame hastened to [[her]190-madame kinsman]2823-her kinsman , [she]190-madame broke upon [him]2823-her kinsman volubly , [she]190-madame mastered [his]2823-her kinsman attention , [she]190-madame hurried [him]2823-her kinsman to the door - the glass - door opening on [the garden]1165-the garden . [I]190-madame think [he]2823-her kinsman looked round ; could [I]190-madame but have caught [his]2823-her kinsman eye , courage , [I]190-madame think , would have rushed in to aid feeling , and there would have been a charge , and , perhaps , a rescue ; but already [the room]600-the room was all confusion , the semicircle broken into groups , [my]190-madame figure was lost among thirty more conspicuous . [Madame]190-madame had [her]190-madame will ; yes , [she]190-madame got [him]2823-her kinsman away , and [he]2823-her kinsman had not seen [me]190-madame ; [he]2823-her kinsman thought [me]190-madame absent . Five o'clock struck , the loud dismissal - bell rang , [the school]4856-the school separated , [the room]600-the room emptied . There seems , to [my]190-madame memory , an entire darkness and distraction in some certain minutes [I]190-madame then passed alone - a grief inexpressible over a loss unendurable . What should [I]190-madame do ; oh ! what should [I]190-madame do ; when all [my]190-madame life 's hope was thus torn by the roots out of [my]190-madame riven , outraged heart ? What [I]190-madame should have done , [I]190-madame know not , when [a little child]7401-a little child - [the least child in [the school]4856-the school]7402-the least child in the school - broke with its simplicity and its unconsciousness into the raging yet silent centre of that inward conflict . "[190-madame] [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle , " lisped the treble voice , "[190-madame] [I]0-i am to give [you]261-mademoiselle that . M. [Paul]196-m. paul said [I]0-i was to seek [you]261-mademoiselle all over [the house]518-the house , from [the grenier]2381-the grenier to [the cellar]1598-the cellar , and when [I]0-i found [you]261-mademoiselle , to give [you]261-mademoiselle that . " And [the child]4206-the child delivered a note ; the little dove dropped on [my]0-i knee , its olive leaf plucked off . [I]0-i found neither address nor name , only these words : - "[0-i] It was not [my]0-i intention to take leave of [you]261-mademoiselle when [I]0-i said good - by to [the rest]4001-the rest , but [I]0-i hoped to see [you]261-mademoiselle in classe . [I]0-i was disappointed . The interview is deferred . Be ready for [me]0-i . Ere [I]0-i sail , [I]0-i must see [you]261-mademoiselle at leisure , and speak with [you]261-mademoiselle at length . Be ready ; [my]0-i moments are numbered , and , just now , monopolized ; besides , [I]0-i have a private business on hand which [I]0-i will not share with any , nor communicate - even to [you]261-mademoiselle . - [PAUL]196-m. paul . " "[196-m. paul] Be ready ? " Then it must be this evening : was [he]4206-the child not to go on the morrow ? Yes ; of that point [I]196-m. paul was certain . [I]196-m. paul had seen the date of [[his]4206-the child vessel]7405-his vessel 's departure advertised . Oh ! [I]196-m. paul would be ready , but could that longed - for meeting really be achieved ? the time was so short , [the schemers]7406-the schemers seemed so watchful , so active , so hostile ; the way of access appeared strait as a gully , deep as a chasm - [Apollyon]458-apollyon straddled across it , breathing flames . Could [[my]196-m. paul Greatheart]7407-my greatheart overcome ? Could [[my]196-m. paul guide]4697-my guide reach [me]196-m. paul ? Who might tell ? Yet [I]196-m. paul began to take some courage , some comfort ; it seemed to [me]196-m. paul that [I]196-m. paul felt a pulse of [his]4206-the child heart beating yet true to the whole throb of [mine]196-m. paul . [I]196-m. paul waited [my]196-m. paul champion . [Apollyon]458-apollyon came trailing [his]458-apollyon Hell behind [him]458-apollyon . [I]196-m. paul think if [Eternity]459-eternity held torment , its form would not be fiery rack , nor its nature despair . [I]196-m. paul think that on a certain day amongst those days which never dawned , and will not set , [an angel]1143-an angel entered [Hades]460-hades - stood , shone , smiled , delivered a prophecy of conditional pardon , kindled a doubtful hope of bliss to come , not now , but at a day and hour unlooked for , revealed in [his]4206-the child own glory and grandeur the height and compass of [his]4206-the child promise : spoke thus - then towering , became a star , and vanished into [his]4206-the child own Heaven . [His]4206-the child legacy was suspense - a worse boon than despair . All that evening [I]196-m. paul waited , trusting in the dove - sent olive - leaf , yet in the midst of [my]196-m. paul trust , terribly fearing . [My]196-m. paul fear pressed heavy . Cold and peculiar , [I]196-m. paul knew it for the partner of a rarely - belied presentiment . The first hours seemed long and slow ; in spirit [I]196-m. paul clung to the flying skirts of the last . [They]7410-they passed like drift cloud - like the wrack scudding before a storm . [They]7410-they passed . All the long , hot summer day burned away like a Yule - log ; the crimson of its close perished ; [I]196-m. paul was left bent among the cool blue shades , over the pale and ashen gleams of its night . Prayers were over ; it was bed - time ; [[my]196-m. paul co - inmates]2337-my co - inmates were all retired . [I]196-m. paul still remained in the gloomy first classe , forgetting , or at least disregarding , rules [I]196-m. paul had never forgotten or disregarded before . How long [I]196-m. paul paced that classe [I]196-m. paul can not tell ; [I]196-m. paul must have been afoot many hours ; mechanically had [I]196-m. paul moved aside benches and desks , and had made for [myself]196-m. paul a path down [its]7412-its length . There [I]196-m. paul walked , and there , when certain that [the whole household]7413-the whole household were abed , and quite out of hearing - there , [I]196-m. paul at last wept . Reliant on Night , confiding in Solitude , [I]196-m. paul kept [my]196-m. paul tears sealed , [my]196-m. paul sobs chained , no longer ; they heaved [my]196-m. paul heart ; they tore [their]7410-they way . In [this house]5145-this house , what grief could be sacred ? Soon after eleven o'clock - a very late hour in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette - the door unclosed , quietly but not stealthily ; a lamp 's flame invaded the moonlight ; [Madame Beck]190-madame entered , with the same composed air , as if coming on an ordinary occasion , at an ordinary season . Instead of at once addressing [me]196-m. paul , [she]190-madame went to [her]190-madame desk , took [her]190-madame keys , and seemed to seek something : [she]190-madame loitered over this feigned search long , too long . [She]190-madame was calm , too calm ; [my]196-m. paul mood scarce endured the pretence ; driven beyond common range , two hours since [I]196-m. paul had left behind [me]196-m. paul wonted respects and fears . Led by a touch , and ruled by a word , under usual circumstances , no yoke could now be borne - [no curb]7416-no curb obeyed . "[196-m. paul] It is more than time for retirement , " said [Madame]190-madame ; "[0-i] the rule of [the house]518-the house has already been transgressed too long . " [Madame]190-madame met no answer : [I]0-i did not check [my]0-i walk ; when [she]190-madame came in [my]0-i way , [I]0-i put [her]190-madame out of it . "[0-i] Let [me]0-i persuade [you]4003-you to calm , [Meess]4004-meess ; let [me]0-i lead [you]4003-you to [[your]4003-you chamber]4005-your chamber , " said [she]190-madame , trying to speak softly . "[0-i] No ! " [I]0-i said ; "[0-i] neither [you]0-i nor [another]5484-another shall persuade or lead [me]0-i . " "[4003-you] [Your]4003-you bed shall be warmed . [Goton]276-goton is sitting up still . [She]276-goton shall make [you]4003-you comfortable : [she]276-goton shall give [you]4003-you a sedative . " "[276-goton] [Madame]190-madame , " [I]190-madame broke out , "[190-madame] [you]190-madame are [a sensualist]4007-a sensualist . Under all [your]190-madame serenity , [your]190-madame peace , and [your]190-madame decorum , [you]190-madame are [an undenied sensualist]4008-an undenied sensualist . Make [your]190-madame own bed warm and soft ; take sedatives and meats , and drinks spiced and sweet , as much as [you]190-madame will . If [you]190-madame have any sorrow or disappointment - and , perhaps , [you]190-madame have - nay , [I]0-i know [you]190-madame have - seek [your]190-madame own palliatives , in [your]190-madame own chosen resources . Leave [me]0-i , however . Leave [me]0-i , [I]0-i say ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i must send [another]5484-another to watch [you]190-madame , [Meess]187-meess lucie : [I]0-i must send [Goton]276-goton . " "[276-goton] [I]0-i forbid it . Let [me]0-i alone . Keep [your]190-madame hand off [me]0-i , and [my]0-i life , and [my]0-i troubles . Oh , [Madame]190-madame ! in [your]190-madame hand there is both chill and poison . [You]190-madame envenom and [you]190-madame paralyze . " "[190-madame] What have [I]0-i done , [Meess]187-meess lucie ? [You]190-madame must not marry [Paul]196-m. paul . [He]196-m. paul can not marry . " "[196-m. paul] [Dog in the manger]4010-dog in the manger ! " [I]4010-dog in the manger said : for [I]4010-dog in the manger knew [she]190-madame secretly wanted [him]196-m. paul , and had always wanted [him]196-m. paul . [She]190-madame called [him]196-m. paul "[4010-dog in the manger] insupportable : " [she]190-madame railed at [him]196-m. paul for a "[4010-dog in the manger] devot : " [she]190-madame did not love , but [she]190-madame wanted to marry , that [she]190-madame might bind [him]196-m. paul to [her]190-madame interest . Deep into some of [Madame]190-madame 's secrets [I]4010-dog in the manger had entered - [I]4010-dog in the manger know not how : by an intuition or an inspiration which came to [me]4010-dog in the manger - [I]4010-dog in the manger know not whence . In the course of living with [her]190-madame too , [I]4010-dog in the manger had slowly learned , that , unless with [an inferior]7417-an inferior , [she]190-madame must ever be [a rival]7418-a rival . [She]190-madame was [[my]4010-dog in the manger rival]7419-my rival , heart and soul , though secretly , under the smoothest bearing , and utterly unknown to all save [her]190-madame and [myself]4010-dog in the manger . Two minutes [I]4010-dog in the manger stood over [Madame]190-madame , feeling that [the whole woman]7420-the whole woman was in [my]4010-dog in the manger power , because in some moods , such as the present - in some stimulated states of perception , like that of this instant - [her]190-madame habitual disguise , [her]190-madame mask and [her]190-madame domino , were to [me]4010-dog in the manger a mere network reticulated with holes ; and [I]4010-dog in the manger saw underneath a being heartless , self- indulgent , and ignoble . [She]190-madame quietly retreated from [me]4010-dog in the manger : meek and self- possessed , though very uneasy , [she]190-madame said , "[4010-dog in the manger] If [I]0-i would not be persuaded to take rest , [she]4011-i must reluctantly leave [me]0-i . " Which [she]190-madame did incontinent , perhaps even more glad to get away , than [I]4011-i was to see [her]190-madame vanish . This was the sole flash - eliciting , truth - extorting , rencontre which ever occurred between [me]4011-i and [Madame Beck]190-madame : this short night - scene was never repeated . It did not one whit change [her]190-madame manner to [me]4011-i . [I]4011-i do not know that [she]190-madame revenged it . [I]4011-i do not know that [she]190-madame hated [me]4011-i the worse for [my]4011-i fell candour . [I]4011-i think [she]190-madame bucklered [herself]190-madame with the secret philosophy of [her]190-madame strong mind , and resolved to forget what it irked [her]190-madame to remember . [I]4011-i know that to the end of [our]7421-our mutual lives there occurred no repetition of , no allusion to , that fiery passage . That night passed : all nights - even the starless night before dissolution - must wear away . About six o'clock , the hour which called up [the household]1060-the household , [I]4011-i went out to [the court]1612-the court , and washed [my]4011-i face in [its]1612-the court cold , fresh well - water . Entering by [the carre]4820-the carre , a piece of mirror- glass , set in an oaken cabinet , repeated [my]4011-i image . It said [I]4011-i was changed : [my]4011-i cheeks and lips were sodden white , [my]4011-i eyes were glassy , and [my]4011-i eyelids swollen and purple . On rejoining [[my]4011-i companions]3421-my companions , [I]4011-i knew [they]3421-my companions all looked at [me]4011-i - [my]4011-i heart seemed discovered to [them]3421-my companions : [I]4011-i believed [myself]4011-i self - betrayed . Hideously certain did it seem that [the very youngest of [the school]4856-the school]7426-the very youngest of the school must guess why and for whom [I]4011-i despaired . "[4011-i] [Isabelle]221-isabelle , " [the child whom [I]221-isabelle had once nursed in sickness]7428-the child whom i had once nursed in sickness , approached [me]221-isabelle . Would [she]221-isabelle , too , mock [me]221-isabelle ! "[221-isabelle] Que vous etes pale ! Vous etes donc bien malade , [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle ! " said [she]221-isabelle , putting [her]221-isabelle finger in [her]221-isabelle mouth , and staring with a wistful stupidity which at the moment seemed to [me]261-mademoiselle more beautiful than the keenest intelligence . [Isabelle]221-isabelle did not long stand alone in the recommendation of ignorance : before the day was over , [I]261-mademoiselle gathered cause of gratitude towards [the whole blind household]7429-the whole blind household . [The multitude]7377-the multitude have something else to do than to read hearts and interpret dark sayings . Who wills , may keep [his]7431-his own counsel - be [his]7431-his own secret 's sovereign . In the course of that day , proof met [me]261-mademoiselle on proof , not only that the cause of [my]261-mademoiselle present sorrow was unguessed , but that [my]261-mademoiselle whole inner life for the last six months , was still [mine]261-mademoiselle only . It was not known - it had not been noted - that [I]261-mademoiselle held in peculiar value one life among all lives . [Gossip]461-gossip had passed [me]261-mademoiselle by ; curiosity had looked [me]261-mademoiselle over ; both subtle influences , hovering always round , had never become centred upon [me]261-mademoiselle . [A given organization]7432-a given organization may live in a full fever - hospital , and escape typhus . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul had come and gone : [I]261-mademoiselle had been taught and sought ; in season and out of season [he]196-m. paul had called [me]261-mademoiselle , and [I]261-mademoiselle had obeyed [him]196-m. paul : "[261-mademoiselle] M. [Paul]196-m. paul wants [Miss Lucy]142-lucy " - "[196-m. paul] [Miss Lucy]142-lucy is with [M. Paul]196-m. paul " - such had been the perpetual bulletin ; and [nobody]4256-nobody commented , far less condemned . [Nobody]4256-nobody hinted , [nobody]4256-nobody jested . [Madame Beck]190-madame read the riddle : [none else]7436-none else resolved it . What [I]196-m. paul now suffered was called illness - a headache : [I]196-m. paul accepted the baptism . But what bodily illness was ever like this pain ? This certainty that [he]196-m. paul was gone without a farewell - this cruel conviction that fate and pursuing furies - [a woman]4363-a woman 's envy and [a priest]5700-a priest 's bigotry - would suffer [me]196-m. paul to see [him]196-m. paul no more ? What wonder that the second evening found [me]196-m. paul like the first - untamed , tortured , again pacing [a solitary room]7439-a solitary room in an unalterable passion of silent desolation ? [Madame Beck]190-madame did not [herself]190-madame summon [me]196-m. paul to bed that night - [she]190-madame did not come near [me]196-m. paul : [she]190-madame sent [Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra - a more efficient agent for the purpose [she]190-madame could not have employed . [Ginevra]179-ginevra 's first words - "[196-m. paul] Is [your]4012-your headache very bad to - night ? " for [Ginevra]179-ginevra , like the rest , thought [I]190-madame had a headache - an intolerable headache which made [me]190-madame frightfully white in the face , and insanely restless in the foot - [her]179-ginevra first words , [I]190-madame say , inspired the impulse to flee anywhere , so that it were only out of reach . And soon , what followed - plaints about [her]179-ginevra own headaches - completed the business . [I]190-madame went up - [stairs]593-stairs . Presently [I]190-madame was in [my]190-madame bed - [[my]190-madame miserable bed]7441-my miserable bed - haunted with quick scorpions . [I]190-madame had not been laid down five minutes , when [another emissary]7442-another emissary arrived : [Goton]276-goton came , bringing [me]190-madame something to drink . [I]190-madame was consumed with thirst - [I]190-madame drank eagerly ; the beverage was sweet , but [I]190-madame tasted a drug . "[190-madame] [Madame]190-madame says it will make [you]4013-you sleep , chou - chou , " said [Goton]276-goton , as [she]276-goton received back the emptied cup . Ah ! the sedative had been administered . In fact , [they]7443-they had given [me]190-madame a strong opiate . [I]190-madame was to be held quiet for one night . [The household]1060-the household came to bed , the night - light was lit , [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory hushed . Sleep soon reigned : over those pillows , sleep won an easy supremacy : contented sovereign over heads and hearts which did not ache - [he]7442-another emissary passed by the unquiet . The drug wrought . [I]190-madame know not whether [Madame]190-madame had overcharged or under- charged the dose ; its result was not that [she]190-madame intended . Instead of stupor , came excitement . [I]190-madame became alive to new thought - to reverie peculiar in colouring . A gathering call ran among [the faculties]5525-the faculties , [their]5525-the faculties bugles sang , [their]5525-the faculties trumpets rang an untimely summons . [Imagination]316-imagination was roused from [her]316-imagination rest , and [she]316-imagination came forth impetuous and venturous . With scorn [she]316-imagination looked on [Matter]462-matter , [[her]316-imagination mate]7447-her mate - "[190-madame] Rise ! " [she]316-imagination said . "[463-sluggard] [Sluggard]463-sluggard ! this night [I]0-i will have [my]0-i will ; nor shalt [thou]4014-thou prevail . " "[4014-thou] Look forth and view the night ! " was [her]316-imagination cry ; and when [I]261-mademoiselle lifted the heavy blind from the casement close at hand - with [her]316-imagination own royal gesture , [she]316-imagination showed [me]261-mademoiselle a moon supreme , in an element deep and splendid . To [my]261-mademoiselle gasping senses [she]316-imagination made the glimmering gloom , the narrow limits , the oppressive heat of [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory , intolerable . [She]316-imagination lured [me]261-mademoiselle to leave [this den]7449-this den and follow [her]316-imagination forth into dew , coolness , and glory . [She]316-imagination brought upon [me]261-mademoiselle a strange vision of [Villette]3-villette at midnight . Especially [she]316-imagination showed [the park]987-the park , [the summer - park]7451-the summer - park , with [its]987-the park long alleys all silent , lone and safe ; among these lay a huge stone basin - that basin [I]261-mademoiselle knew , and beside which [I]261-mademoiselle had often stood - deep - set in the tree - shadows , brimming with cool water , clear , with a green , leafy , rushy bed . What of all this ? [The park]987-the park - gates were shut up , locked , sentinelled : [the place]5129-the place could not be entered . Could it not ? A point worth considering ; and while revolving [it]5129-the place , [I]261-mademoiselle mechanically dressed . Utterly incapable of sleeping or lying still - excited from head to foot - what could [I]261-mademoiselle do better than dress ? The gates were locked , [soldiers]4680-soldiers set before [them]4680-soldiers : was there , then , no admission to [the park]987-the park ? The other day , in walking past , [I]261-mademoiselle had seen , without then attending to the circumstance , a gap in the paling - one stake broken down : [I]261-mademoiselle now saw this gap again in recollection - saw it very plainly - the narrow , irregular aperture visible between the stems of the lindens , planted orderly as a colonnade . [A man]823-a man could not have made [his]823-a man way through that aperture , nor could [a stout woman]7457-a stout woman , perhaps not [Madame Beck]190-madame ; but [I]261-mademoiselle thought [I]261-mademoiselle might : [I]261-mademoiselle fancied [I]261-mademoiselle should like to try , and once within , at this hour [the whole park]7458-the whole park would be [mine]261-mademoiselle - the moonlight , [midnight park]7459-midnight park ! How soundly [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory slept ! What deep slumbers ! What quiet breathing ! How very still [the whole large house]7461-the whole large house ! What was the time ? [I]261-mademoiselle felt restless to know . There stood a clock in [the classe below]7462-the classe below : what hindered [me]261-mademoiselle from venturing down to consult [it]7463-it ? By such a moon , [its]7463-it large white face and jet black figures must be vividly distinct . As for hindrance to this step , there offered not so much as a creaking hinge or a clicking latch . On these hot July nights , close air could not be tolerated , and the chamber - door stood wide open . Will [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory - planks sustain [my]261-mademoiselle tread untraitorous ? Yes . [I]261-mademoiselle know wherever a board is loose , and will avoid it . [The oak staircase]7465-the oak staircase creaks somewhat as [I]261-mademoiselle descend , but not much : - [I]261-mademoiselle am in the carre . The great classe - doors are close shut : they are bolted . On the other hand , the entrance to [the corridor]1349-the corridor stands open . [The classes]4828-the classes seem to [my]261-mademoiselle thought , [great dreary jails , buried far back beyond thoroughfares]7468-great dreary jails , buried far back beyond thoroughfares , and for [me]261-mademoiselle , filled with spectral and intolerable Memories , laid miserable amongst [their]4828-the classes straw and [their]4828-the classes manacles . [The corridor]1349-the corridor offers a cheerful vista , leading to [the high vestibule which opens direct upon [the street]623-the street]7470-the high vestibule which opens direct upon the street . Hush ! - the clock strikes . Ghostly deep as is the stillness of [this convent]7472-this convent , it is only eleven . While [my]261-mademoiselle ear follows to silence the hum of the last stroke , [I]261-mademoiselle catch faintly from the built - out capital , a sound like bells or like a band - a sound where sweetness , where victory , where mourning blend . Oh , to approach this music nearer , to listen to it alone by [the rushy basin]7473-the rushy basin ! Let [me]261-mademoiselle go - oh , let [me]261-mademoiselle go ! What hinders , what does not aid freedom ? There , in [the corridor]1349-the corridor , hangs [my]261-mademoiselle garden - costume , [my]261-mademoiselle large hat , [my]261-mademoiselle shawl . There is no lock on [the huge , heavy , porte - cochere]7475-the huge , heavy , porte - cochere ; there is no key to seek : it fastens with a sort of spring - bolt , not to be opened from the outside , but which , from within , may be noiselessly withdrawn . Can [I]261-mademoiselle manage it ? It yields to [my]261-mademoiselle hand , yields with [propitious facility]7476-propitious facility . [I]261-mademoiselle wonder as that portal seems almost spontaneously to unclose - [I]261-mademoiselle wonder as [I]261-mademoiselle cross the threshold and step on [the paved street]7477-the paved street , wonder at the strange ease with which [this prison]7478-this prison has been forced . It seems as if [I]261-mademoiselle had been pioneered invisibly , as if some dissolving force had gone before [me]261-mademoiselle : for [myself]261-mademoiselle , [I]261-mademoiselle have scarce made an effort . Quiet [Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette ! [I]261-mademoiselle find on [this pavement]7479-this pavement that wanderer - wooing summer night of which [I]261-mademoiselle mused ; [I]261-mademoiselle see its moon over [me]261-mademoiselle ; [I]261-mademoiselle feel its dew in the air . But [here]4212-here [I]261-mademoiselle can not stay ; [I]261-mademoiselle am still too near [old haunts]7481-old haunts : so close under [the dungeon]7482-the dungeon , [I]261-mademoiselle can hear [the prisoners]7483-the prisoners moan . This solemn peace is not what [I]261-mademoiselle seek , it is not what [I]261-mademoiselle can bear : to [me]261-mademoiselle the face of that sky bears the aspect of a world 's death . [The park]987-the park also will be calm - [I]261-mademoiselle know , a mortal serenity prevails everywhere - yet let [me]261-mademoiselle seek [the park]987-the park . [I]261-mademoiselle took [a route well known]7486-a route well known , and went up towards [the palatial and royal Haute - Ville]7487-the palatial and royal haute - ville ; thence the music [I]261-mademoiselle had heard certainly floated ; it was hushed now , but it might re - waken . [I]261-mademoiselle went on : [neither band]7488-neither band nor bell music came to meet [me]261-mademoiselle ; another sound replaced it , a sound like a strong tide , a great flow , deepening as [I]261-mademoiselle proceeded . Light broke , movement gathered , chimes pealed - to what was [I]261-mademoiselle coming ? Entering on the level of [a Grande Place]7489-a grande place , [I]261-mademoiselle found [myself]261-mademoiselle , with the suddenness of magic , plunged amidst [a gay , living , joyous crowd]7490-a gay , living , joyous crowd . [Villette]3-villette is one blaze , one broad illumination ; [the whole world]4684-the whole world seems abroad ; moonlight and heaven are banished : [the town]1306-the town , by [her]1306-the town own flambeaux , beholds [her]1306-the town own splendour - gay dresses , grand equipages , fine horses and [gallant riders]7493-gallant riders throng [the bright streets]7494-the bright streets . [I]261-mademoiselle see even scores of masks . It is a strange scene , stranger than dreams . But where is [the park]987-the park ? - [I]261-mademoiselle ought to be near [it]987-the park . In the midst of this glare [the park]987-the park must be shadowy and calm - there , at least , are neither torches , lamps , nor [crowd]7497-crowd ? [I]261-mademoiselle was asking this question when [an open carriage]7498-an open carriage passed [me]261-mademoiselle filled with known faces . Through the deep throng it could pass but slowly ; the spirited horses fretted in their curbed ardour . [I]261-mademoiselle saw [the occupants of [that carriage]7500-that carriage]7499-the occupants of that carriage well : [me]261-mademoiselle [they]7499-the occupants of that carriage could not see , or , at least , not know , folded close in [my]261-mademoiselle large shawl , screened with [my]261-mademoiselle straw hat in that motley crowd no dress was noticeably strange . [I]261-mademoiselle saw [the Count de Bassompierre]353-the count de bassompierre ; [I]261-mademoiselle saw [[my]261-mademoiselle godmother]506-my godmother , handsomely apparelled , comely and cheerful ; [I]261-mademoiselle saw , too , [Paulina Mary]141-paulina , compassed with the triple halo of [her]141-paulina beauty , [her]141-paulina youth , and [her]141-paulina happiness . In looking on [her]141-paulina countenance of joy , and eyes of festal light , one scarce remembered to note the gala elegance of what [she]141-paulina wore ; [I]261-mademoiselle know only that the drapery floating about [her]141-paulina was all white and light and bridal ; seated opposite to [her]141-paulina [I]261-mademoiselle saw [Graham Bretton]135-graham ; it was in looking up at [him]135-graham [her]141-paulina aspect had caught its lustre - the light repeated in [her]141-paulina eyes beamed first out of [his]135-graham . It gave [me]261-mademoiselle strange pleasure to follow [these friends]4336-these friends viewlessly , and [I]261-mademoiselle did follow [them]4336-these friends , as [I]261-mademoiselle thought , to [the park]987-the park . [I]261-mademoiselle watched [them]4336-these friends alight [carriages]5011-carriages were inadmissible amidst new and unanticipated splendours . Lo ! the iron gateway , between the stone columns , was spanned by a flaming arch built of massed stars ; and , following them cautiously beneath that arch , where were [they]4336-these friends , and where was [I]261-mademoiselle ? In [a land of enchantment]7505-a land of enchantment , [a garden most gorgeous]7506-a garden most gorgeous , a plain sprinkled with coloured meteors , a forest with sparks of purple and ruby and golden fire gemming the foliage ; a region , not of trees and shadow , but of strangest architectural wealth - of altar and of [temple]7507-temple , of pyramid , obelisk , and sphinx : incredible to say , the wonders and the symbols of [Egypt]115-egypt teemed throughout [the park of Villette]7508-the park of villette . No matter that in five minutes the secret was mine - the key of the mystery picked up , and its illusion unveiled - no matter that [I]261-mademoiselle quickly recognised the material of these solemn fragments - the timber , the paint , and the pasteboard - these inevitable discoveries failed to quite destroy the charm , or undermine the marvel of that night . No matter that [I]261-mademoiselle now seized the explanation of the whole great fete - a fete of which [the conventual Rue Fossette]7509-the conventual rue fossette had not tasted , though [it]7509-the conventual rue fossette had opened at dawn that morning , and was still in full vigour near midnight . In past days there had been , said history , an awful crisis in the fate of [Labassecour]48-labassecour , involving [I]261-mademoiselle know not what peril to the rights and liberties of [[her]48-labassecour gallant citizens]7510-her gallant citizens . Rumours of wars there had been , if not wars themselves ; a kind of struggling in [the streets]983-the streets - a bustle - a running to and fro , some rearing of barricades , [some burgher]7512-some burgher - rioting , some calling out of [troops]7513-troops , much interchange of brickbats , and even a little of shot . Tradition held that [patriots]7514-patriots had fallen : in [the old Basse - Ville]74-the basse - ville was shown an enclosure , solemnly built in and set apart , holding , it was said , the sacred bones of [martyrs]5992-martyrs . Be this as it may , a certain day in the year was still kept as a festival in honour of [the said patriots]7516-the said patriots and [martyrs of somewhat apocryphal memory]7517-martyrs of somewhat apocryphal memory - the morning being given to [a solemn Te Deum in [St.]117-st. [Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste]7518-a solemn te deum in st. jean baptiste , the evening devoted to spectacles , decorations , and illuminations , such as these [I]261-mademoiselle now saw . While looking up at the image of a white ibis , fixed on a column - while fathoming the deep , torch - lit perspective of [an avenue]5586-an avenue , at the close of which was couched a sphinx - [I]261-mademoiselle lost sight of the party which , from the middle of [the great square]7520-the great square , [I]261-mademoiselle had followed - or , rather , [they]7514-patriots vanished like a group of apparitions . On this whole scene was impressed a dream - like character : every shape was wavering , every movement floating , every voice echo - like - half - mocking , half- uncertain . [Paulina]141-paulina and [[her]141-paulina friends]4664-her friends being gone , [I]261-mademoiselle scarce could avouch that [I]261-mademoiselle had really seen [them]7514-patriots ; nor did [I]261-mademoiselle miss [them]7514-patriots as guides through the chaos , far less regret [them]7514-patriots as [protectors amidst the night]7522-protectors amidst the night . That festal night would have been safe for [a very child]7523-a very child . Half [the peasantry]7524-the peasantry had come in from [the outlying environs of [Villette]3-villette]7525-the outlying environs of villette , and [the decent burghers]7526-the decent burghers were all abroad and around , dressed in [their]7526-the decent burghers best . [My]261-mademoiselle straw - hat passed amidst cap and jacket , short petticoat , and long calico mantle , without , perhaps , attracting a glance ; [I]261-mademoiselle only took the precaution to bind down the broad leaf gipsy - wise , with a supplementary ribbon - and then [I]261-mademoiselle felt safe as if masked . Safe [I]261-mademoiselle passed down [the avenues]7527-the avenues - safe [I]261-mademoiselle mixed with [the crowd where it was deepest]7528-the crowd where it was deepest . To be still was not in [my]261-mademoiselle power , nor quietly to observe . [I]261-mademoiselle took a revel of the scene ; [I]261-mademoiselle drank the elastic night - air - the swell of sound , the dubious light , now flashing , now fading . As to Happiness or Hope , [they]7514-patriots and [I]261-mademoiselle had shaken hands , but just now - [I]261-mademoiselle scorned Despair . [My]261-mademoiselle vague aim , as [I]261-mademoiselle went , was to find the stone - basin , with [its]7529-its clear depth and green lining : of that coolness and verdure [I]261-mademoiselle thought , with the passionate thirst of unconscious fever . Amidst the glare , and hurry , and throng , and noise , [I]261-mademoiselle still secretly and chiefly longed to come on that circular mirror of crystal , and surprise the moon glassing therein [her]7530-her pearly front . [I]261-mademoiselle knew [my]261-mademoiselle route , yet it seemed as if [I]261-mademoiselle was hindered from pursuing it direct : now a sight , and now a sound , called [me]261-mademoiselle aside , luring [me]261-mademoiselle down [this alley]4999-this alley and down that . Already [I]261-mademoiselle saw the thick - planted trees which framed this tremulous and rippled glass , when , choiring out of a glade to the right , broke such a sound as [I]261-mademoiselle thought might be heard if [Heaven]188-heaven were to open - such a sound , perhaps , as was heard above [the plain of]7532-the plain of [Bethlehem]118-bethlehem , on the night of glad tidings . The song , the sweet music , rose afar , but rushing swiftly on fast- strengthening pinions - there swept through these shades so full a storm of harmonies that , had no tree been near against which to lean , [I]261-mademoiselle think [I]261-mademoiselle must have dropped . Voices were there , it seemed to [me]261-mademoiselle , unnumbered ; instruments varied and countless - bugle , horn , and trumpet [I]261-mademoiselle knew . The effect was as a sea breaking into song with all its waves . The swaying tide swept this way , and then it fell back , and [I]261-mademoiselle followed its retreat . It led [me]261-mademoiselle towards [a Byzantine building]7533-a byzantine building - [a sort of kiosk near [[the park]987-the park 's centre]7536-the park 's centre]7534-a sort of kiosk near the park 's centre . Round about stood [crowded thousands]7537-crowded thousands , gathered to a grand concert in the open air . What [I]261-mademoiselle had heard was , [I]261-mademoiselle think , a wild Jaeger chorus ; the night , the space , the scene , and [my]261-mademoiselle own mood , had but enhanced the sounds and [their]7537-crowded thousands impression . Here were [assembled ladies]7538-assembled ladies , looking by this light most beautiful : some of [their]7538-assembled ladies dresses were gauzy , and some had the sheen of satin , the flowers and the blond trembled , and the veils waved about [their]7538-assembled ladies decorated bonnets , as that host - like chorus , with its greatly- gathering sound , sundered the air above [them]7538-assembled ladies . [Most of [these ladies]6983-these ladies]7539-most of these ladies occupied the little light park - chairs , and behind and beside [them]7539-most of these ladies stood [guardian gentlemen]7541-guardian gentlemen . The outer ranks of [the crowd]5310-the crowd were made up of [citizens]7543-citizens , [plebeians]7544-plebeians and [police]7545-police . In this outer rank [I]261-mademoiselle took [my]261-mademoiselle place . [I]261-mademoiselle rather liked to find [myself]261-mademoiselle [the silent , unknown , consequently unaccosted neighbour of the short petticoat and the sabot]7546-the silent , unknown , consequently unaccosted neighbour of the short petticoat and the sabot ; and only [the distant gazer at the silk robe]7547-the distant gazer at the silk robe , the velvet mantle , and the plumed chapeau . Amidst so much life and joy , too , it suited [me]261-mademoiselle to be alone - quite alone . Having neither wish nor power to force [my]261-mademoiselle way through a mass so close - packed , [[my]261-mademoiselle station]7548-my station was on the farthest confines , where , indeed , [I]261-mademoiselle might hear , but could see little . "[261-mademoiselle] [Mademoiselle]261-mademoiselle is not well placed , " said a voice at [my]0-i elbow . Who dared accost [me]0-i , [a being in a mood so little social]7549-a being in a mood so little social ? [I]0-i turned , rather to repel than to reply . [I]0-i saw [a man]823-a man - [a burgher]7551-a burgher - [an entire stranger]7552-an entire stranger , as [I]0-i deemed [him]823-a man for one moment , but the next , recognised in [him]823-a man [a certain tradesman]7553-a certain tradesman - a bookseller , whose shop furnished [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette with [its]44-the rue fossette books and stationery ; [a man notorious in [our]7555-our pensionnat]7554-a man notorious in our pensionnat for the excessive brittleness of [his]823-a man temper , and frequent snappishness of [his]823-a man manner , even to [us]7555-our , [[his]823-a man principal customers]7556-his principal customers : but whom , for [my]0-i solitary self , [I]0-i had ever been disposed to like , and had always found civil , sometimes kind ; once , in aiding [me]0-i about some troublesome little exchange of foreign money , [he]823-a man had done [me]0-i a service . [He]823-a man was [an intelligent man]7557-an intelligent man ; under [his]823-a man asperity , [he]823-a man was [a good - hearted man]7558-a good - hearted man ; the thought had sometimes crossed [me]0-i , that a part of [his]823-a man nature bore affinity to a part of M. Emanuel 's whom [he]823-a man knew well , and whom [I]0-i had often seen sitting on [Miret]464-m. miret 's counter , turning over the current month 's publications ; and it was in this affinity [I]0-i read the explanation of that conciliatory feeling with which [I]0-i instinctively regarded [him]823-a man . Strange to say , [this man]4628-this man knew [me]0-i under [my]0-i straw - hat and closely - folded shawl ; and , though [I]0-i deprecated the effort , [he]4628-this man insisted on making a way for [me]0-i through [the crowd]5310-the crowd , and finding [me]0-i a better situation . [He]4628-this man carried [his]4628-this man disinterested civility further ; and , from some quarter , procured [me]0-i a chair . Once and again , [I]0-i have found that the most cross- grained are by no means the worst of [mankind]7173-mankind ; nor the humblest in [station]7562-station , the least polished in feeling . [This man]4628-this man , in [his]4628-this man courtesy , seemed to find nothing strange in [my]0-i being [here]4212-here alone ; only a reason for extending to [me]0-i , as far as [he]4628-this man could , a retiring , yet efficient attention . Having secured [me]0-i a place and a seat , [he]4628-this man withdrew without asking a question , without obtruding a remark , without adding a superfluous word . No wonder that [Professor Emanuel]303-professor emanuel liked to take [his]303-professor emanuel cigar and [his]303-professor emanuel lounge , and to read [his]303-professor emanuel feuilleton in [[M. Miret]464-m. miret 's shop]7565-m. miret 's shop - the two must have suited . [I]0-i had not been seated five minutes , ere [I]0-i became aware that chance and [[my]0-i worthy burgher friend]7566-my worthy burgher friend had brought [me]0-i once more within view of [a familiar and domestic group]7567-a familiar and domestic group . Right before [me]0-i sat [the Brettons]465-the brettons and [de Bassompierres]466-de bassompierres . Within reach of [my]0-i hand - had [I]0-i chosen to extend it - sat a figure like [a fairy - queen]7568-a fairy - queen , whose array , lilies and [their]7568-a fairy - queen leaves seemed to have suggested ; whatever was not spotless white , being forest - green . [[My]0-i godmother]506-my godmother , too , sat so near , that , had [I]0-i leaned forward , [my]0-i breath might have stirred the ribbon of [her]506-my godmother bonnet . [They]7570-they were too near ; having been just recognised by [a comparative stranger]7571-a comparative stranger , [I]0-i felt uneasy at this close vicinage of intimate acquaintance . It made [me]0-i quite start when [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton , turning to [Mr. Home]134-mr. home , and speaking out of a kind impulse of memory , said , - "[0-i] [I]0-i wonder what [[my]0-i steady little [Lucy]142-lucy]4015-my steady little lucy would say to all this if [she]142-lucy were [here]4212-here ? [I]0-i wish [we]4017-we had brought [her]142-lucy , [she]142-lucy would have enjoyed it much . " "[142-lucy] So [she]142-lucy would , so [she]142-lucy would , in [her]142-lucy grave sensible fashion ; it is a pity but [we]4017-we had asked [her]142-lucy , " rejoined [the kind gentleman]7572-the kind gentleman ; and added , "[4017-we] [I]0-i like to see [her]142-lucy so quietly pleased ; so little moved , yet so content . " [Dear]6242-dear were [they]7574-they both to [me]0-i , [dear]6242-dear are [they]7574-they to this day in [their]7574-they remembered benevolence . [Little]239-georgette knew [they]7574-they the rack of pain which had driven [Lucy]142-lucy almost into fever , and brought [her]142-lucy out , guideless and reckless , urged and drugged to the brink of frenzy . [I]0-i had half a mind to bend over [the elders]7576-the elders ' shoulders , and answer [their]7574-they goodness with the thanks of [my]0-i eyes . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre did not well know [me]0-i , but [I]0-i knew [him]7572-the kind gentleman , and honoured and admired [his]7572-the kind gentleman nature , with all its plain sincerity , its warm affection , and unconscious enthusiasm . Possibly [I]0-i might have spoken , but just then [Graham]135-graham turned ; [he]135-graham turned with one of [his]135-graham stately firm movements , so different from those , of [a sharp - tempered under - sized man]7577-a sharp - tempered under - sized man : there was behind [him]135-graham [a throng , a hundred ranks deep]7578-a throng , a hundred ranks deep ; there were [thousands]1876-thousands to meet [his]135-graham eye and divide its scrutiny - why then did [he]135-graham concentrate all on [me]0-i - oppressing [me]0-i with the whole force of that full , blue , steadfast orb ? Why , if [he]135-graham would look , did not one glance satisfy [him]135-graham ? why did [he]135-graham turn on [his]135-graham chair , rest [his]135-graham elbow on its back , and study [me]0-i leisurely ? [He]135-graham could not see [my]0-i face , [I]0-i held it down ; surely , [he]135-graham could not recognise [me]0-i : [I]0-i stooped , [I]0-i turned , [I]0-i would not be known . [He]135-graham rose , by some means [he]135-graham contrived to approach , in two minutes [he]135-graham would have had [my]0-i secret : [my]0-i identity would have been grasped between [his]135-graham , never tyrannous , but always powerful hands . There was but one way to evade or to check [him]135-graham . [I]0-i implied , by a sort of supplicatory gesture , that it was [my]0-i prayer to be let alone ; after that , had [he]135-graham persisted , [he]135-graham would perhaps have seen the spectacle of [Lucy]142-lucy incensed : not all that was grand , or good , or kind in [him]135-graham and [Lucy]142-lucy felt the full amount should have kept [her]142-lucy quite tame , or absolutely inoffensive and shadowlike . [He]135-graham looked , but [he]135-graham desisted . [He]135-graham shook [his]135-graham handsome head , but [he]135-graham was mute . [He]135-graham resumed [his]135-graham seat , nor did [he]135-graham again turn or disturb [me]0-i by a glance , except indeed for one single instant , when a look , rather solicitous than curious , stole [my]0-i way - speaking what somehow stilled [my]0-i heart like "[0-i] the south - wind quieting [the earth]4018-the earth . " [Graham]135-graham 's thoughts of [me]0-i were not entirely those of a frozen indifference , after all . [I]0-i believe in [that goodly mansion]7580-that goodly mansion , [his]135-graham heart , [he]135-graham kept one little place under the sky - lights where [Lucy]142-lucy might have entertainment , if [she]142-lucy chose to call . It was not so handsome as [the chambers where [he]135-graham lodged [[his]135-graham male friends]7582-his male friends]7581-the chambers where he lodged his male friends ; it was not like [the hall where [he]135-graham accommodated [his]135-graham philanthropy]7583-the hall where he accommodated his philanthropy , or [the library where [he]135-graham treasured [his]135-graham science]7584-the library where he treasured his science , still less did it resemble [the pavilion where [his]135-graham marriage feast was splendidly spread]7585-the pavilion where his marriage feast was splendidly spread ; yet , gradually , by long and equal kindness , [he]135-graham proved to [me]0-i that [he]135-graham kept [one little closet , over the door of which was written "[0-i] [Lucy]142-lucy 's Room]7586-one little closet , over the door of which was written " lucy 's room . " [I]0-i kept a place for [him]135-graham , too - a place of which [I]0-i never took the measure , either by rule or compass : [I]0-i think it was like [the tent of Peri - Banou]7587-the tent of peri - banou . All [my]0-i life long [I]0-i carried it folded in the hollow of [my]0-i hand yet , released from that hold and constriction , [I]0-i know not but its innate capacity for expanse might have magnified it into a tabernacle for [a host]7588-a host . Forbearing as [he]135-graham was to - night , [I]0-i could not stay in this proximity ; [this dangerous place]7589-this dangerous place and seat must be given up : [I]0-i watched [my]0-i opportunity , rose , and stole away . [He]135-graham might think , [he]135-graham might even believe that [Lucy]142-lucy was contained within that shawl , and sheltered under that hat ; [he]135-graham never could be certain , for [he]135-graham did not see [my]0-i face . Surely the spirit of restlessness was by this time appeased ? Had [I]0-i not had enough of adventure ? Did [I]0-i not begin to flag , quail , and wish for safety under a roof ? Not so . [I]0-i still loathed [my]0-i bed in [[the school]4856-the school dormitory]7591-the school dormitory more than words can express : [I]0-i clung to whatever could distract thought . Somehow [I]0-i felt , too , that the night 's drama was but begun , that the prologue was scarce spoken : throughout [this woody and turfy theatre]7592-this woody and turfy theatre reigned a shadow of mystery ; [actors]5237-actors and [incidents]7594-incidents unlooked - for , waited behind the scenes : [I]0-i thought so foreboding told [me]0-i as much . Straying at random , obeying the push of every chance elbow , [I]0-i was brought to a quarter where trees planted in clusters , or towering singly , broke up somewhat the dense packing of [the crowd]5310-the crowd , and gave it a more scattered character . [These confines]7596-these confines were far from the music , and somewhat aloof even from the lamps , but there was sound enough to soothe , and with that full , high moon , lamps were scarce needed . [Here]4212-here had chiefly settled [family]3674-family - groups , [burgher - parents]7599-burgher - parents ; some of [them]3674-family , late as was the hour , actually surrounded by [[their]7599-burgher - parents children]7600-their children , with [whom it had not been thought advisable to venture into the closer throng]7601-whom it had not been thought advisable to venture into the closer throng . Three fine tall trees growing close , almost twined stem within stem , lifted a thick canopy of shade above [a green knoll]7602-a green knoll , crowned with a seat - a seat which might have held several , yet it seemed abandoned to one , [the remaining members of the fortunate party in possession of [this site]1402-this site]7603-the remaining members of the fortunate party in possession of this site standing dutifully round ; yet , amongst [this reverend circle]7605-this reverend circle was [a lady]1639-a lady , holding by the hand [a little girl]545-a little girl . When [I]0-i caught sight of [this little girl]549-this little girl , [she]549-this little girl was twisting [herself]549-this little girl round on [her]549-this little girl heel , swinging from [her]549-this little girl conductress 's hand , flinging [herself]549-this little girl from side to side with wanton and fantastic gyrations . These perverse movements arrested [my]0-i attention , [they]7609-they struck [me]0-i as of a character fearfully familiar . On close inspection , no less so appeared [the child]4206-the child 's equipment ; the lilac silk pelisse , the small swansdown boa , the white bonnet - the whole holiday toilette , in short , was the gala garb of a cherub but too well known , of that tadpole , [Desiree Beck]208-desiree - and [Desiree Beck]208-desiree it was - [she]208-desiree , or an imp in [her]208-desiree likeness . [I]0-i might have taken this discovery as a thunder - clap , but such hyperbole would have been premature ; discovery was destined to rise more than one degree , ere it reached its climax . On whose hand could [the amiable Desiree]208-desiree swing thus selfishly , whose glove could [she]208-desiree tear thus recklessly , whose arm thus strain with impunity , or on the borders of whose dress thus turn and trample insolently , if not the hand , glove , arm , and robe of [[her]208-desiree lady - mother]7611-her lady - mother ? And there , in an Indian shawl and a pale - green crape bonnet - there , fresh , portly , blithe , and pleasant - there stood [Madame Beck]190-madame . Curious ! [I]0-i had certainly deemed [Madame]190-madame in [her]190-madame bed , and [Desiree]208-desiree in [[her]208-desiree crib]1373-her crib , at this blessed minute , sleeping , both of [them]7613-them , the sleep of the just , within the sacred walls , amidst the profound seclusion of the Rue Fossette . Most certainly also [they]7613-them did not picture "[0-i] [Meess Lucie]187-meess lucie " otherwise engaged ; and here [we]7614-we all three were taking [our]7614-we "[187-meess lucie] ebats " in the fete - blazing park at midnight ! The fact was , [Madame]190-madame was only acting according to [her]190-madame quite justifiable wo nt . [I]0-i remembered now [I]0-i had heard it said among [the teachers]4800-the teachers - though without at the time particularly noticing the gossip - that often , when [we]7614-we thought [Madame]190-madame in [[her]190-madame chamber]1070-her chamber , sleeping , [she]190-madame was gone , full - dressed , to take [her]190-madame pleasure at operas , or plays , or balls . [Madame]190-madame had no sort of taste for a monastic life , and took care - largely , though discreetly - to season [her]190-madame existence with a relish of [the world]811-the world . [Half a dozen gentlemen of [[her]190-madame friends]4664-her friends]7618-half a dozen gentlemen of her friends stood about [her]190-madame . Amongst these , [I]0-i was not slow to recognise two or three . There was [[her]190-madame brother]6126-her brother , [M. Victor Kint]324-m. victor kint ; there was [another person , moustached and with long hair]7621-another person , moustached and with long hair - [a calm , taciturn man]7622-a calm , taciturn man , but whose traits bore a stamp and a semblance [I]0-i could not mark unmoved . [Amidst reserve and phlegm , amidst contrasts of character and of countenance]7623-amidst reserve and phlegm , amidst contrasts of character and of countenance , something there still was which recalled a face - mobile , fervent , feeling - a face changeable , now clouded , and now alight - a face from [my]0-i world taken away , for [my]0-i eyes lost , but where [my]0-i best spring - hours of life had alternated in shadow and in glow ; that face , where [I]0-i had often seen movements so near the signs of genius - that why there did not shine fully out the undoubted fire , the thing , the spirit , and the secret itself - [I]0-i could never tell . Yes - [this Josef Emanuel]306-m. emanuel - [this man of peace]7624-this man of peace - reminded [me]0-i of [[his]306-m. emanuel ardent brother]7625-his ardent brother . Besides [Messieurs Victor]467-messieurs victor and [Josef]306-m. emanuel , [I]0-i knew [another of [this party]7627-this party]7626-another of this party . [This third person]7628-this third person stood behind and in the shade , [his]7628-this third person attitude too was stooping , yet [his]7628-this third person dress and bald white head made [him]7628-this third person [the most conspicuous figure of [the group]7630-the group]7629-the most conspicuous figure of the group . [He]7628-this third person was [an ecclesiastic]7631-an ecclesiastic : [he]7628-this third person was [Pere Silas]289-pere silas . Do not fancy , [reader]4604-reader , that there was any inconsistency in [the priest]4890-the priest 's presence at this fete . This was not considered a show of Vanity Fair , but a commemoration of patriotic sacrifice . [The Church]108-the church patronised [it]7627-this party , even with ostentation . There were [troops of [priests]7156-priests in [the park]987-the park]7634-troops of priests in the park that night . [Pere Silas]289-pere silas stooped over the seat with its single occupant , the rustic bench and that which sat upon it : a strange mass it was - bearing no shape , yet magnificent . [You]7637-you saw , indeed , the outline of a face , and features , but these were so cadaverous and so strangely placed , [you]7637-you could almost have fancied a head severed from its trunk , and flung at random on a pile of rich merchandise . The distant lamp - rays glanced on clear pendants , on broad rings ; neither the chasteness of moonlight , nor the distance of the torches , could quite subdue the gorgeous dyes of the drapery . Hail , [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens ! [I]0-i think [you]7637-you looked more witch- like than ever . And presently [the good lady]7638-the good lady proved that [she]7638-the good lady was indeed no corpse or ghost , but [a harsh and hardy old woman]7639-a harsh and hardy old woman ; for , upon some aggravation in the clamorous petition of [Desiree Beck]208-desiree to [[her]208-desiree mother]550-her mother , to go to the kiosk and take sweetmeats , [the hunchback]7641-the hunchback suddenly fetched [her]208-desiree a resounding rap with [her]208-desiree gold - knobbed cane . There , then , were [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens , [Madame Beck]190-madame , [Pere Silas]289-pere silas - the whole conjuration , the secret junta . The sight of [them]7642-them thus assembled did [me]0-i good . [I]0-i can not say that [I]0-i felt weak before [them]7642-them , or abashed , or dismayed . [They]7642-them outnumbered [me]0-i , and [I]0-i was worsted and under [their]7642-them feet ; but , as yet , [I]0-i was not dead . CHAPTER XXXIX . [OLD AND NEW ACQUAINTANCE]468-old and new acquaintance . Fascinated as by a basilisk with three heads , [I]0-i could not leave [this clique]7643-this clique ; the ground near [them]7642-them seemed to hold [my]0-i feet . The canopy of entwined trees held out shadow , the night whispered a pledge of protection , and an officious lamp flashed just one beam to show [me]0-i an obscure , safe seat , and then vanished . Let [me]0-i now briefly tell [the reader]759-the reader all that , during the past dark fortnight , [I]0-i have been silently gathering from Rumour , respecting the origin and the object of [M. Emanuel]306-m. emanuel 's departure . The tale is short , and not new : its alpha is [Mammon]469-mammon , and its omega Interest . If [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens was hideous as [a Hindoo idol]7645-a hindoo idol , [she]424-madame walravens seemed also to possess , in the estimation of these [her]424-madame walravens votaries , an idol 's consequence . The fact was , [she]424-madame walravens had been rich - very rich ; and though , for the present , without the command of money , [she]424-madame walravens was likely one day to be rich again . At [Basseterre]457-basseterre , in [Guadaloupe]113-guadaloupe , [she]424-madame walravens possessed [a large estate]7646-a large estate , received in dowry on [her]424-madame walravens marriage sixty years ago , sequestered since [[her]424-madame walravens husband]509-her husband 's failure ; but now , it was supposed , cleared of claim , and , if duly looked after by [a competent agent of integrity]7648-a competent agent of integrity , considered capable of being made , in a few years , largely productive . [Pere Silas]289-pere silas took an interest in this prospective improvement for the sake of religion and the church , whereof [Magliore Walravens]470-magliore walravens was [a devout daughter]7649-a devout daughter . [Madame Beck]190-madame , distantly related to the hunchback and knowing [her]190-madame to be [without [family]3674-family of [her]190-madame own]7650-without family of her own , had long brooded over contingencies with [a mother]4301-a mother 's calculating forethought , and , harshly treated as [she]190-madame was by [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens , never ceased to court [her]190-madame for interest 's sake . [Madame Beck]190-madame and [the priest]4890-the priest were thus , for money reasons , equally and sincerely interested in [the nursing of [the West Indian estate]7655-the west indian estate]7654-the nursing of the west indian estate . But the distance was great , and the climate hazardous . [The competent and upright agent]7656-the competent and upright agent wanted , must be [a devoted man]7657-a devoted man . [Just such a man]7658-just such a man had [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens retained for twenty years in [her]424-madame walravens service , blighting [his]4019-my pupil life , and then living on [him]4019-my pupil , like an old fungus ; [such a man]7659-such a man had [Pere Silas]289-pere silas trained , taught , and bound to [him]4019-my pupil by the ties of gratitude , habit , and belief . [Such a man]7659-such a man [Madame Beck]190-madame knew , and could in some measure influence . "[0-i] [[My]0-i pupil]4019-my pupil , " said [Pere Silas]289-pere silas , "[0-i] if [he]4019-my pupil remains in [Europe]17-europe , runs risk of apostacy , for [he]4019-my pupil has become entangled with [a heretic]3842-a heretic . " [Madame Beck]190-madame made also [her]190-madame private comment , and preferred in [her]190-madame own breast [her]190-madame secret reason for desiring expatriation . The thing [she]190-madame could not obtain , [she]190-madame desired not another to win : rather would [she]190-madame destroy it . As to [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens , [she]190-madame wanted [her]190-madame money and [[her]190-madame land]7661-her land , and knew [Paul]303-professor emanuel , if [he]303-professor emanuel liked , could make [the best and faithfullest steward]7662-the best and faithfullest steward : so [the three self - seekers]7663-the three self - seekers banded and beset [the one unselfish]7664-the one unselfish . [They]7663-the three self - seekers reasoned , [they]7663-the three self - seekers appealed , [they]7663-the three self - seekers implored ; on [his]7664-the one unselfish mercy [they]7663-the three self - seekers cast [themselves]7663-the three self - seekers , into [his]7664-the one unselfish hands [they]7663-the three self - seekers confidingly thrust [their]7663-the three self - seekers interests . [They]7663-the three self - seekers asked but two or three years of devotion - after that , [he]7664-the one unselfish should live for [himself]7664-the one unselfish : one of the number , perhaps , wished that in the meantime [he]7664-the one unselfish might die . [No living being]7665-no living being ever humbly laid [his]7664-the one unselfish advantage at [M. Emanuel]306-m. emanuel 's feet , or confidingly put it into [his]7664-the one unselfish hands , that [he]7664-the one unselfish spurned the trust or repulsed the repository . What might be [his]7664-the one unselfish private pain or inward reluctance to leave [Europe]17-europe - what [his]7664-the one unselfish calculations for [his]7664-the one unselfish own future - none asked , or knew , or reported . All this was a blank to [me]3842-a heretic . [His]7664-the one unselfish conferences with [[his]7664-the one unselfish confessor]7666-his confessor [I]3842-a heretic might guess ; the part duty and religion were made to play in the persuasions used , [I]3842-a heretic might conjecture . [He]7664-the one unselfish was gone , and had made no sign . There [my]3842-a heretic knowledge closed . With [my]3842-a heretic head bent , and [my]3842-a heretic forehead resting on [my]3842-a heretic hands , [I]3842-a heretic sat amidst grouped tree - stems and branching brushwood . Whatever talk passed amongst [[my]3842-a heretic neighbours]7667-my neighbours , [I]3842-a heretic might hear , if [I]3842-a heretic would ; [I]3842-a heretic was near enough ; but for some time , there was scarce motive to attend . [They]7667-my neighbours gossiped about the dresses , the music , the illuminations , the fine night . [I]3842-a heretic listened to hear [them]7667-my neighbours say , "[3842-a heretic] It is calm weather for [his]4021-his voyage ; [the Antigua]120-the antigua " [[his]4021-his ship]7668-his ship "[429-justine marie] will sail prosperously . " No such remark fell ; neither [the Antigua]120-the antigua , nor [her]7668-his ship course , nor [[her]7668-his ship passenger]7669-her passenger were named . Perhaps the light chat scarcely interested [old Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens more than it did [me]429-justine marie ; [she]424-madame walravens appeared restless , turning [her]424-madame walravens head now to this side , now that , looking through the trees , and among [the crowd , as if expectant of an arrival and impatient of delay]7670-the crowd , as if expectant of an arrival and impatient of delay . "[429-justine marie] Ou sont - ils ? Pourquoi ne viennent - ils ? " [I]429-justine marie heard [her]424-madame walravens mutter more than once ; and at last , as if determined to have an answer to [her]424-madame walravens question - which hitherto none seemed to mind , [she]424-madame walravens spoke aloud this phrase - a phrase brief enough , simple enough , but it sent a shock through [me]429-justine marie - "[429-justine marie] Messieurs et mesdames , " said [she]424-madame walravens , "[429-justine marie] ou donc est [Justine Marie]429-justine marie ? " "[429-justine marie] [Justine Marie]429-justine marie ! " What was this ? [Justine Marie]429-justine marie - [the dead nun]7671-the dead nun - where was [she]429-justine marie ? Why , in [her]429-justine marie grave , [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens - what can [you]424-madame walravens want with [her]429-justine marie ? [You]424-madame walravens shall go to [her]429-justine marie , but [she]429-justine marie shall not come to [you]424-madame walravens . Thus [I]429-justine marie should have answered , had the response lain with [me]429-justine marie , but [nobody]4256-nobody seemed to be of [my]429-justine marie mind ; [nobody]4256-nobody seemed surprised , startled , or at a loss . The quietest commonplace answer met the strange , the dead- disturbing , the Witch - of - Endor query of [the hunchback]7641-the hunchback . "[429-justine marie] [Justine Marie]429-justine marie , " said [one]607-one , "[429-justine marie] is coming ; [she]429-justine marie is in [the kiosk]4022-the kiosk ; [she]429-justine marie will be [here]4212-here presently . " Out of this question and reply sprang a change in the chat - chat it still remained , easy , desultory , familiar gossip . Hint , allusion , comment , went round the circle , but all so broken , so dependent on references to [persons not named]7676-persons not named , or circumstances not defined , that listen as intently as [I]429-justine marie would - and [I]429-justine marie did listen now with a fated interest - [I]429-justine marie could make out no more than that some scheme was on foot , in which this ghostly [Justine Marie]429-justine marie - dead or alive - was concerned . [This family]909-this family - junta seemed grasping at [her]429-justine marie somehow , for some reason ; there seemed question of a marriage , of a fortune - for whom [I]429-justine marie could not quite make out - perhaps for [Victor Kint]324-m. victor kint , perhaps for [Josef Emanuel]306-m. emanuel - both were [bachelors]7678-bachelors . Once [I]429-justine marie thought the hints and jests rained upon [a young fair - haired foreigner of [the party]3470-the party , whom [they]3470-the party called [Heinrich Muehler]471-heinrich muehler]7679-a young fair - haired foreigner of the party , whom they called heinrich muehler . Amidst all the badinage , [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens still obtruded from time to time , hoarse , cross - grained speeches ; [her]424-madame walravens impatience being diverted only by an implacable surveillance of [Desiree]208-desiree , who could not stir but [the old woman]7681-the old woman menaced [her]424-madame walravens with [her]7681-the old woman staff . "[429-justine marie] La voila ! " suddenly cried [one of [the gentlemen]6131-the gentlemen]7682-one of the gentlemen , "[429-justine marie] voila [Justine Marie]429-justine marie qui arrive ! " This moment was for [me]4024-she peculiar . [I]4024-she called up to memory [the pictured nun on the panel]7684-the pictured nun on the panel ; present to [my]4024-she mind was the sad love - story ; [I]4024-she saw in thought the vision of the garret , the apparition of [the alley]5354-the alley , the strange birth of [the berceau]4908-the berceau ; [I]4024-she underwent a presentiment of discovery , a strong conviction of coming disclosure . Ah ! when imagination once runs riot where do [we]7687-we stop ? What winter tree so bare and branchless - what way - side , hedge - munching animal so humble , that Fancy , a passing cloud , and a struggling moonbeam , will not clothe it in spirituality , and make of it a phantom ? With solemn force pressed on [my]4024-she heart , the expectation of mystery breaking up : hitherto [I]4024-she had seen [this spectre]7688-this spectre only through a glass darkly ; now was [I]4024-she to behold it face to face . [I]4024-she leaned forward ; [I]4024-she looked . "[4024-she] [She]4024-she comes ! " cried [Josef Emanuel]306-m. emanuel . The circle opened as if opening to admit [a new and welcome member]7689-a new and welcome member . At this instant a torch chanced to be carried past ; its blaze aided the pale moon in doing justice to the crisis , in lighting to perfection the denouement pressing on . Surely those near [me]429-justine marie must have felt some little of the anxiety [I]429-justine marie felt , in degree so unmeted . Of [that group]7690-that group [the coolest]7691-the coolest must have "[429-justine marie] held [his]4025-his breath for a time ! " As for [me]429-justine marie , [my]429-justine marie life stood still . It is over . The moment and [the nun]1581-the nun are come . The crisis and the revelation are passed by . [The flambeau]7693-the flambeau glares still within [a yard]7694-a yard , held up in [a park - keeper]7695-a park - keeper 's hand ; its long eager tongue of flame almost licks the figure of [the Expected]7696-the expected - there - where [she]4024-she stands full in [my]429-justine marie sight . What is [she]4024-she like ? What does [she]4024-she wear ? How does [she]4024-she look ? Who is [she]4024-she ? There are many masks in [the park]987-the park to - night , and as the hour wears late , so strange a feeling of revelry and mystery begins to spread abroad , that scarce would [you]7698-you discredit [me]429-justine marie , [reader]4604-reader , were [I]429-justine marie to say that [she]4024-she is like [the nun of [the attic]1575-the attic]7700-the nun of the attic , that [she]4024-she wears black skirts and white head- clothes , that [she]4024-she looks the resurrection of the flesh , and that [she]4024-she is [a risen ghost]7702-a risen ghost . All falsities - all figments ! [We]7703-we will not deal in this gear . Let [us]7703-we be honest , and cut , as heretofore , from the homely web of truth . Homely , though , is an ill - chosen word . What [I]429-justine marie see is not precisely homely . [A girl of [Villette]3-villette]7704-a girl of villette stands there - [a girl fresh from [her]7704-a girl of villette pensionnat]7705-a girl fresh from her pensionnat . [She]7704-a girl of villette is very comely , with the beauty indigenous to [this country]1824-this country . [She]7704-a girl of villette looks well - nourished , fair , and fat of flesh . [Her]7704-a girl of villette cheeks are round , [her]7704-a girl of villette eyes good ; [her]7704-a girl of villette hair is abundant . [She]7704-a girl of villette is handsomely dressed . [She]7704-a girl of villette is not alone ; [her]7704-a girl of villette escort consists of [three persons]3948-three persons - [two being elderly]7708-two being elderly ; these [she]7704-a girl of villette addresses as "[429-justine marie] [Mon Oncle]472-mon oncle " and "[473-ma tante] [Ma Tante]473-ma tante . " [She]7704-a girl of villette laughs , [she]7704-a girl of villette chats ; good - humoured , buxom , and blooming , [she]7704-a girl of villette looks , at all points , [the bourgeoise belle]7709-the bourgeoise belle . "[473-ma tante] So much for [Justine Marie]429-justine marie ; " so much for ghosts and mystery : not that this last was solved - [this girl]4869-this girl certainly is not [[my]473-ma tante nun]7711-my nun : what [I]473-ma tante saw in [the garret and garden]7712-the garret and garden must have been taller by a span . [We]7713-we have looked at [the city belle]7714-the city belle ; [we]7713-we have cursorily glanced at [the respectable old uncle]7715-the respectable old uncle and [aunt]7716-aunt . Have [we]7713-we a stray glance to give to [the third member of this company]7717-the third member of this company ? Can [we]7713-we spare [him]7717-the third member of this company a moment 's notice ? [We]7713-we ought to distinguish [him]7717-the third member of this company so far , [reader]4604-reader ; [he]7717-the third member of this company has claims on [us]7713-we ; [we]7713-we do not now meet [him]7717-the third member of this company for the first time . [I]473-ma tante clasped [my]473-ma tante hands very hard , and [I]473-ma tante drew [my]473-ma tante breath very deep : [I]473-ma tante held in the cry , [I]473-ma tante devoured the ejaculation , [I]473-ma tante forbade the start , [I]473-ma tante spoke and [I]473-ma tante stirred no more than a stone ; but [I]473-ma tante knew what [I]473-ma tante looked on ; through the dimness left in [my]473-ma tante eyes by many nights ' weeping , [I]473-ma tante knew [him]7717-the third member of this company . [They]7719-they said [he]7717-the third member of this company was to sail by [the Antigua]120-the antigua . [Madame Beck]190-madame said so . [She]190-madame lied , or [she]190-madame had uttered what was once truth , and failed to contradict it when it became false . [The Antigua]120-the antigua was gone , and there stood [Paul Emanuel]303-professor emanuel . Was [I]473-ma tante glad ? A huge load left [me]473-ma tante . Was it a fact to warrant joy ? [I]473-ma tante know not . Ask first what were the circumstances attendant on this respite ? How far did this delay concern [me]473-ma tante ? Were there not [those whom it might touch more nearly]7720-those whom it might touch more nearly ? After all , who may [this young girl]6818-this young girl , this [Justine Marie]429-justine marie , be ? Not [a stranger]874-a stranger , [reader]4604-reader ; [she]6818-this young girl is known to [me]473-ma tante by sight ; [she]6818-this young girl visits at [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette : [she]6818-this young girl is often of [Madame Beck]190-madame 's Sunday parties . [She]6818-this young girl is [a relation of both [the Becks]474-the becks and [Walravens]424-madame walravens]7725-a relation of both the becks and walravens ; [she]6818-this young girl derives [her]6818-this young girl baptismal name from [the sainted nun who would have been [[her]6818-this young girl aunt]2066-her aunt had [she]6818-this young girl lived]7726-the sainted nun who would have been her aunt had she lived ; [her]6818-this young girl patronymic is [Sauveur]429-justine marie ; [she]6818-this young girl is [an heiress]7220-an heiress and [an orphan]7729-an orphan , and [M. Emanuel]306-m. emanuel is [[her]6818-this young girl guardian]7730-her guardian ; [some]5400-some say [[her]6818-this young girl godfather]7732-her godfather . [The family]7733-the family junta wish [this heiress]7734-this heiress to be married to [one of [[their]7733-the family band]7736-their band]7735-one of their band - which is it ? Vital question - which is it ? [I]473-ma tante felt very glad now , that the drug administered in the sweet draught had filled [me]473-ma tante with a possession which made bed and chamber intolerable . [I]473-ma tante always , through [my]473-ma tante whole life , liked to penetrate to the real truth ; [I]473-ma tante like seeking [the goddess]7737-the goddess in [[her]7737-the goddess temple]7738-her temple , and handling the veil , and daring the dread glance . [O Titaness among [deities]7740-deities]7739-o titaness among deities ! the covered outline of thine aspect sickens often through its uncertainty , but define to [us]7741-we one trait , show [us]7741-we one lineament , clear in awful sincerity ; [we]7741-we may gasp in untold terror , but with that gasp [we]7741-we drink in a breath of [thy]7737-the goddess divinity ; [our]7741-we heart shakes , and its currents sway like rivers lifted by earthquake , but [we]7741-we have swallowed strength . To see and know the worst is to take from [Fear]475-fear [her]7737-the goddess main advantage . [The Walravens]424-madame walravens ' party , augmented in numbers , now became very gay . [The gentlemen]6131-the gentlemen fetched refreshments from [the kiosk]4022-the kiosk , [all]4382-all sat down on [the turf under the trees]7745-the turf under the trees ; [they]4382-all drank healths and sentiments ; [they]4382-all laughed , [they]4382-all jested . [M. Emanuel]306-m. emanuel underwent some raillery , half good - humoured , half , [I]473-ma tante thought , malicious , especially on [Madame Beck]190-madame 's part . [I]473-ma tante soon gathered that [his]306-m. emanuel voyage had been temporarily deferred of [his]306-m. emanuel own will , without the concurrence , even against the advice , of [[his]306-m. emanuel friends]706-his friends ; [he]306-m. emanuel had let [the Antigua]120-the antigua go , and had taken [his]306-m. emanuel berth in [the Paul et Virginie]7747-the paul et virginie , appointed to sail a fortnight later . It was [his]306-m. emanuel reason for this resolve which [they]706-his friends teased [him]306-m. emanuel to assign , and which [he]306-m. emanuel would only vaguely indicate as "[473-ma tante] the settlement of a little piece of business which [he]4026-i had set [his]4026-i heart upon . " What was this business ? [Nobody]4256-nobody knew . Yes , there was one who seemed partly , at least , in [his]306-m. emanuel confidence ; a meaning look passed between [him]306-m. emanuel and [Justine Marie]429-justine marie . "[4026-i] La petite va m'aider - n'est - ce pas ? " said [he]306-m. emanuel . The answer was prompt enough , [God]164-god knows ? "[4026-i] Mais oui , je vous aiderai de tout mon coeur . Vous ferez de moi tout ce que vous voudrez , mon parrain . " And [this dear "[4026-i] parrain]7749-this dear " parrain " took [her]429-justine marie hand and lifted it to [his]7749-this dear " parrain grateful lips . Upon which demonstration , [I]4026-i saw [the light - complexioned young Teuton]7750-the light - complexioned young teuton , [Heinrich Muehler]471-heinrich muehler , grow restless , as if [he]7749-this dear " parrain did not like it . [He]7749-this dear " parrain even grumbled a few words , whereat [M. Emanuel]306-m. emanuel actually laughed in [his]7749-this dear " parrain face , and with the ruthless triumph of [the assured conqueror]7751-the assured conqueror , [he]7749-this dear " parrain drew [[his]7749-this dear " parrain ward]7752-his ward nearer to [him]7749-this dear " parrain . [M. Emanuel]306-m. emanuel was indeed very joyous that night . [He]7749-this dear " parrain seemed not one whit subdued by the change of scene and action impending . [He]7749-this dear " parrain was the true life of [the party]3470-the party ; a little despotic , perhaps , determined to be chief in mirth , as well as in labour , yet from moment to moment proving indisputably [his]7749-this dear " parrain right of leadership . [His]7749-this dear " parrain was the wittiest word , the pleasantest anecdote , the frankest laugh . Restlessly active , after [his]7749-this dear " parrain manner , [he]7749-this dear " parrain multiplied [himself]7749-this dear " parrain to wait on all ; but oh ! [I]4026-i saw which was [his]7749-this dear " parrain favourite . [I]4026-i saw at whose feet [he]7749-this dear " parrain lay on the turf , [I]4026-i saw whom [he]7749-this dear " parrain folded carefully from the night air , whom [he]7749-this dear " parrain tended , watched , and cherished as the apple of [his]7749-this dear " parrain eye . Still , hint and raillery flew thick , and still [I]4026-i gathered that while [M. Paul]196-m. paul should be absent , working for [others]770-others , [these others]7755-these others , not quite ungrateful , would guard for [him]7749-this dear " parrain the treasure [he]7749-this dear " parrain left in [Europe]17-europe . Let [him]7749-this dear " parrain bring [them]7755-these others an Indian fortune : [they]7755-these others would give [him]7749-this dear " parrain in return [a young bride]7756-a young bride and a rich inheritance . As for the saintly consecration , the vow of constancy , that was forgotten : the blooming and charming Present prevailed over the Past ; and , at length , [his]7749-this dear " parrain nun was indeed buried . Thus it must be . The revelation was indeed come . [Presentiment]477-presentiment had not been mistaken in [her]7757-her impulse : there is a kind of presentiment which never is mistaken ; it was [I]4026-i who had for a moment miscalculated ; not seeing the true bearing of [the oracle]7758-the oracle , [I]4026-i had thought [she]7757-her muttered of vision when , in truth , [her]7757-her prediction touched reality . [I]4026-i might have paused longer upon what [I]4026-i saw ; [I]4026-i might have deliberated ere [I]4026-i drew inferences . Some , perhaps , would have held the premises doubtful , the proofs insufficient ; [some slow sceptics]7759-some slow sceptics would have incredulously examined ere [they]7759-some slow sceptics conclusively accepted the project of a marriage between [a poor and unselfish man of forty]7760-a poor and unselfish man of forty , and [[his]7749-this dear " parrain wealthy ward of eighteen]7761-his wealthy ward of eighteen ; but far from [me]4026-i such shifts and palliatives , far from [me]4026-i such temporary evasion of the actual , [such coward]7762-such coward fleeing from the dread , the swift - footed , the all - overtaking Fact , such feeble suspense of submission to [her]7757-her the sole sovereign , such paltering and faltering resistance to the Power whose errand is to march conquering and to conquer , such traitor defection from the TRUTH . No . [I]4026-i hastened to accept the whole plan . [I]4026-i extended [my]4026-i grasp and took it all in . [I]4026-i gathered it to [me]4026-i with a sort of rage of haste , and folded it round [me]4026-i , as [the soldier]7763-the soldier struck on the field folds [his]7763-the soldier colours about [his]7763-the soldier breast . [I]4026-i invoked Conviction to nail upon [me]4026-i the certainty , abhorred while embraced , to fix it with the strongest spikes [her]7757-her strongest strokes could drive ; and when the iron had entered well [my]4026-i soul , [I]4026-i stood up , as [I]4026-i thought , renovated . In [my]4026-i infatuation , [I]4026-i said , "[4026-i] Truth , [you]4027-you are [a good mistress to [[your]4027-you faithful servants]4029-your faithful servants]4028-a good mistress to your faithful servants ! While a Lie pressed [me]0-i , how [I]0-i suffered ! Even when the Falsehood was still sweet , still flattering to the fancy , and warm to the feelings , it wasted [me]0-i with hourly torment . The persuasion that affection was won could not be divorced from the dread that , by another turn of the wheel , it might be lost . Truth stripped away Falsehood , and Flattery , and Expectancy , and here [I]0-i stand - free ! " Nothing remained now but to take [my]0-i freedom to [[my]0-i chamber]4944-my chamber , to carry it with [me]0-i to [my]0-i bed and see what [I]0-i could make of it . The play was not yet , indeed , quite played out . [I]0-i might have waited and watched longer that love - scene under the trees , that sylvan courtship . Had there been nothing of love in the demonstration , [my]0-i Fancy in this hour was so generous , so creative , [she]4027-you could have modelled for it the most salient lineaments , and given it the deepest life and highest colour of passion . But [I]0-i would not look ; [I]0-i had fixed [my]0-i resolve , but [I]0-i would not violate [my]0-i nature . And then - something tore [me]0-i so cruelly under [my]0-i shawl , something so dug into [my]0-i side , a vulture so strong in beak and talon , [I]0-i must be alone to grapple with it . [I]0-i think [I]0-i never felt jealousy till now . This was not like enduring the endearments of [Dr. John]135-graham and [Paulina]141-paulina , against which while [I]0-i sealed [my]0-i eyes and [my]0-i ears , while [I]0-i withdrew thence [my]0-i thoughts , [my]0-i sense of harmony still acknowledged in it a charm . This was an outrage . The love born of beauty was not [mine]0-i ; [I]0-i had nothing in common with it : [I]0-i could not dare to meddle with it , but another love , venturing diffidently into life after long acquaintance , furnace - tried by pain , stamped by constancy , consolidated by affection 's pure and durable alloy , submitted by intellect to intellect 's own tests , and finally wrought up , by [his]7765-his own process , to [his]7765-his own unflawed completeness , this Love that laughed at Passion , [his]7765-his fast frenzies and [his]7765-his hot and hurried extinction , in this Love [I]0-i had a vested interest ; and whatever tended either to its culture or its destruction , [I]0-i could not view impassibly . [I]0-i turned from the group of trees and the "[0-i] merrie companie " in its shade . Midnight was long past ; the concert was over , [the crowds]7766-the crowds were thinning . [I]0-i followed the ebb . Leaving [the radiant park]7767-the radiant park and well - lit [Haute - Ville]123-haute - ville still well lit , this it seems was to be a "[0-i] nuit blanche " in [Villette]3-villette , [I]7700-the nun of the attic sought [the dim lower quarter]7768-the dim lower quarter . Dim [I]7700-the nun of the attic should not say , for the beauty of moonlight - forgotten in [the park]987-the park - here once more flowed in upon perception . High [she]7770-her rode , and calm and stainlessly [she]7770-her shone . The music and the mirth of the fete , the fire and bright hues of those lamps had out - done and out - shone [her]7770-her for an hour , but now , again , [her]7770-her glory and [her]7770-her silence triumphed . The rival lamps were dying : [she]7770-her held [her]7770-her course like a white fate . Drum , trumpet , bugle , had uttered [their]7766-the crowds clangour , and were forgotten ; with pencil - ray [she]7770-her wrote on heaven and on earth records for archives everlasting . [She]7770-her and those stars seemed to [me]7700-the nun of the attic at once [the types and witnesses of truth all regnant]7771-the types and witnesses of truth all regnant . The night - sky lit [her]7770-her reign : like its slow - wheeling progress , advanced [her]7770-her victory - that onward movement which has been , and is , and will be from eternity to eternity . [These oil - twinkling streets]7772-these oil - twinkling streets are very still : [I]7700-the nun of the attic like them for [their]7772-these oil - twinkling streets lowliness and peace . Homeward - bound burghers pass [me]7700-the nun of the attic now and then , but [these companies]7773-these companies are [pedestrians]7774-pedestrians , make little noise , and are soon gone . So well do [I]7700-the nun of the attic love [Villette]3-villette under [her]3-villette present aspect , not willingly would [I]7700-the nun of the attic re - enter under a roof , but that [I]7700-the nun of the attic am bent on pursuing [my]7700-the nun of the attic strange adventure to a successful close , and quietly regaining [my]7700-the nun of the attic bed in [the great dormitory]5533-the great dormitory , before [Madame Beck]190-madame comes [home]542-home . Only [one street]7777-one street lies between [me]7700-the nun of the attic and [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette ; as [I]7700-the nun of the attic enter [it]7777-one street , for the first time , the sound of [a carriage]7263-a carriage tears up the deep peace of [this quarter]1398-this quarter . It comes this way - comes very fast . How loud sounds its rattle on [the paved path]7781-the paved path ! [The street]623-the street is narrow , and [I]7700-the nun of the attic keep carefully to [the causeway]7783-the causeway . [The carriage]5783-the carriage thunders past , but what do [I]7700-the nun of the attic see , or fancy [I]7700-the nun of the attic see , as it rushes by ? Surely something white fluttered from that window - surely a hand waved a handkerchief . Was that signal meant for [me]7700-the nun of the attic ? Am [I]7700-the nun of the attic known ? Who could recognise [me]7700-the nun of the attic ? That is not [[M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre 's carriage]7785-m. de bassompierre 's carriage , nor [Mrs. Bretton]130-mrs. bretton 's ; and besides , neither [the Hotel Crecy]86-the hotel crecy nor [the chateau of [La Terrasse]73-la terrasse]7786-the chateau of la terrasse lies in that direction . Well , [I]7700-the nun of the attic have no time for conjecture ; [I]7700-the nun of the attic must hurry [home]542-home . Gaining [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette , reaching [the pensionnat]4723-the pensionnat , all there was still ; [no fiacre]7789-no fiacre had yet arrived with [Madame]190-madame and [Desiree]208-desiree . [I]7700-the nun of the attic had left the great door ajar ; should [I]7700-the nun of the attic find it thus ? Perhaps the wind or some other accident may have thrown it to with sufficient force to start the spring - bolt ? In that case , hopeless became admission ; [my]7700-the nun of the attic adventure must issue in catastrophe . [I]7700-the nun of the attic lightly pushed the heavy leaf ; would it yield ? Yes . As soundless , as unresisting , as if [some propitious genius]7790-some propitious genius had waited on a sesame - charm , in [the vestibule within]7791-the vestibule within . Entering with bated breath , quietly making all fast , shoelessly mounting the staircase , [I]7700-the nun of the attic sought [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory , and reached [my]7700-the nun of the attic couch . Ay ! [I]7700-the nun of the attic reached it , and once more drew a free inspiration . The next moment , [I]7700-the nun of the attic almost shrieked - almost , but not quite , thank [Heaven]188-heaven ! Throughout [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory , throughout [the house]518-the house , there reigned at this hour the stillness of death . [All]4382-all slept , and in such hush , it seemed that [none]4383-none dreamed . Stretched on the nineteen beds lay nineteen forms , at full - length and motionless . On [mine]7700-the nun of the attic - the twentieth couch - nothing ought to have lain : [I]7700-the nun of the attic had left it void , and void should have found it . What , then ; do [I]7700-the nun of the attic see between the half - drawn curtains ? What dark , usurping shape , supine , long , and strange ? Is it [a robber who has made [his]7797-a robber who has made his way through the open street - door , and lies there in wait way through the open street - door , and lies there in wait]7797-a robber who has made his way through the open street - door , and lies there in wait ? It looks very black , [I]7700-the nun of the attic think it looks - not human . Can it be a wandering dog that has come in from [the street]623-the street and crept and nestled hither ? Will it spring , will [it]7799-it leap out if [I]7700-the nun of the attic approach ? Approach [I]7700-the nun of the attic must . Courage ! One step ! - [My]7700-the nun of the attic head reeled , for by the faint night - lamp , [I]7700-the nun of the attic saw stretched on [my]7700-the nun of the attic bed the old phantom - [the NUN]1581-the nun . A cry at this moment might have ruined [me]7700-the nun of the attic . Be the spectacle what it might , [I]7700-the nun of the attic could afford neither consternation , scream , nor swoon . Besides , [I]7700-the nun of the attic was not overcome . Tempered by late incidents , [my]7700-the nun of the attic nerves disdained hysteria . Warm from illuminations , and music , and thronging [thousands , thoroughly lashed up by a new scourge]7801-thousands , thoroughly lashed up by a new scourge , [I]7700-the nun of the attic defied spectra . In a moment , without exclamation , [I]7700-the nun of the attic had rushed on the haunted couch ; nothing leaped out , or sprung , or stirred ; all the movement was [mine]7700-the nun of the attic , so was all the life , the reality , the substance , the force ; as [my]7700-the nun of the attic instinct felt . [I]7700-the nun of the attic tore [her]1581-the nun up - the incubus ! [I]7700-the nun of the attic held [her]1581-the nun on high - the goblin ! [I]7700-the nun of the attic shook [her]1581-the nun loose - the mystery ! And down [she]1581-the nun fell - down all around [me]7700-the nun of the attic - down in shreds and fragments - and [I]7700-the nun of the attic trode upon [her]1581-the nun . Here again - behold the branchless tree , the unstabled [Rosinante]478-rosinante ; the film of cloud , the flicker of moonshine . [The long nun]7802-the long nun proved [a long bolster dressed in a long black stole , and artfully invested with a white veil]7803-a long bolster dressed in a long black stole , and artfully invested with a white veil . The garments in very truth , strange as it may seem , were [genuine nun]7804-genuine nun 's garments , and by some hand they had been disposed with a view to illusion . Whence came these vestments ? Who contrived this artifice ? These questions still remained . To the head - bandage was pinned a slip of paper : it bore in pencil these mocking words - "[7700-the nun of the attic] [The nun of [the attic]1575-the attic]7700-the nun of the attic bequeaths to [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy [her]142-lucy wardrobe . [She]142-lucy will be seen in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette no more . " And what and who was [she]1581-the nun that had haunted [me]142-lucy ? [She]1581-the nun , [I]142-lucy had actually seen three times . Not [a woman of [my]142-lucy acquaintance]7805-a woman of my acquaintance had the stature of that ghost . [She]1581-the nun was not of a female height . Not to [any man [I]142-lucy knew]7806-any man i knew could the machination , for a moment , be attributed . Still mystified beyond expression , but as thoroughly , as suddenly , relieved from all sense of the spectral and unearthly ; scorning also to wear out [my]142-lucy brain with the fret of a trivial though insoluble riddle , [I]142-lucy just bundled together stole , veil , and bandages , thrust them beneath [my]142-lucy pillow , lay down , listened till [I]142-lucy heard the wheels of [[Madame]190-madame 's [home]542-home]7807-madame 's home - returning fiacre , then turned , and worn out by many nights ' vigils , conquered , too , perhaps , by the now reacting narcotic , [I]142-lucy deeply slept . CHAPTER XL . [THE HAPPY PAIR]7809-the happy pair . The day succeeding this remarkable Midsummer night , proved no common day . [I]142-lucy do not mean that it brought signs in [heaven above]7810-heaven above , or portents on [the earth beneath]7811-the earth beneath ; nor do [I]142-lucy allude to meteorological phenomena , to storm , flood , or whirlwind . On the contrary : the sun rose jocund , with a July face . Morning decked [her]1581-the nun beauty with rubies , and so filled [her]1581-the nun lap with roses , that they fell from [her]1581-the nun in showers , making [her]1581-the nun path blush : the Hours woke fresh as nymphs , and emptying on [the early hills]7812-the early hills [their]7809-the happy pair dew - vials , [they]7809-the happy pair stepped out dismantled of vapour : shadowless , azure , and glorious , [they]7809-the happy pair led the sun 's steeds on a burning and unclouded course . In short , it was as fine a day as the finest summer could boast ; but [I]142-lucy doubt whether [I]142-lucy was not [the sole inhabitant of [the Rue Fossette , who cared or remembered to note this pleasant fact]7814-the rue fossette , who cared or remembered to note this pleasant fact]7813-the sole inhabitant of the rue fossette , who cared or remembered to note this pleasant fact . Another thought busied all other heads ; a thought , indeed , which had its share in [my]142-lucy meditations ; but this master consideration , not possessing for [me]142-lucy so entire a novelty , so overwhelming a suddenness , especially so dense a mystery , as it offered to the majority of [[my]142-lucy co - speculators]7815-my co - speculators thereon , left [me]142-lucy somewhat more open than the rest to any collateral observation or impression . Still , while walking in [the garden]1165-the garden , feeling the sunshine , and marking the blooming and growing plants , [I]142-lucy pondered the same subject [the whole house]1327-the whole house discussed . What subject ? Merely this . When matins came to be said , there was a place vacant in [the first rank of [boarders]7819-boarders]7818-the first rank of boarders . When breakfast was served , there remained a coffee - cup unclaimed . When [the housemaid]7820-the housemaid made the beds , [she]7820-the housemaid found in one , a bolster laid lengthwise , clad in a cap and night - gown ; and when [[Ginevra Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's music - mistress]7821-ginevra fanshawe 's music - mistress came early , as usual , to give the morning lesson , [that accomplished and promising young person]7822-that accomplished and promising young person , [[her]7821-ginevra fanshawe 's music - mistress pupil]7823-her pupil , failed utterly to be forthcoming . High and low was [Miss Fanshawe]179-ginevra sought ; through length and breadth was [the house]518-the house ransacked ; vainly ; not a trace , not an indication , not so much as a scrap of a billet rewarded the search ; [the nymph]7825-the nymph was vanished , engulfed in the past night , like a shooting star swallowed up by darkness . Deep was the dismay of [surveillante teachers]7826-surveillante teachers , deeper the horror of [the defaulting directress]7827-the defaulting directress . Never had [I]142-lucy seen [Madame Beck]190-madame so pale or so appalled . Here was a blow struck at [her]190-madame tender part , [her]190-madame weak side ; here was damage done to [her]190-madame interest . How , too , had the untoward event happened ? By what outlet had [the fugitive]7828-the fugitive taken wing ? Not a casement was found unfastened , not a pane of glass broken ; all the doors were bolted secure . Never to this day has [Madame Beck]190-madame obtained satisfaction on this point , nor indeed has [anybody else concerned]7829-anybody else concerned , save and excepting one , [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy , who could not forget how , to facilitate a certain enterprise , a certain great door had been drawn softly to its lintel , closed , indeed , but neither bolted nor secure . [The thundering carriage]7830-the thundering carriage - and - pair encountered were now likewise recalled , as well as that puzzling signal , the waved handkerchief . From [these premises]3247-these premises , and one or two others , inaccessible to any but [myself]142-lucy , [I]142-lucy could draw but one inference . It was a case of elopement . Morally certain on this head , and seeing [Madame Beck]190-madame 's profound embarrassment , [I]142-lucy at last communicated [my]142-lucy conviction . Having alluded to [M. de Hamal]479-m. de hamal 's suit , [I]142-lucy found , as [I]142-lucy expected , that [Madame Beck]190-madame was perfectly au fait to that affair . [She]190-madame had long since discussed it with [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley , and laid [her]190-madame own responsibility in the business on [that lady]577-that lady 's shoulders . To [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley and [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre [she]190-madame now had recourse . [We]7833-we found that [the Hotel Crecy]2993-the hotel crecy was already alive to what had happened . [Ginevra]179-ginevra had written to [[her]179-ginevra cousin]3058-her cousin [Paulina]141-paulina , vaguely signifying hymeneal intentions ; communications had been received from [the family of [de Hamal]479-m. de hamal]7836-the family of de hamal ; [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre was on the track of [the fugitives]7837-the fugitives . [He]178-m. de bassompierre overtook [them]7837-the fugitives too late . In the course of the week , the post brought [me]142-lucy a note . [I]142-lucy may as well transcribe it ; it contains explanation on more than one point : - ' [DEAR OLD TIM]480-dear old tim "[142-lucy] short for [Timon]318-timon , - " [I]318-timon am off [you]480-dear old tim see - gone like a shot . [Alfred]230-alfred and [I]318-timon intended to be married in this way almost from the first ; [we]7833-we never meant to be spliced in the humdrum way of [other people]1151-other people ; [Alfred]230-alfred has too much spirit for that , and so have [I]318-timon - Dieu merci ! Do [you]480-dear old tim know , [Alfred]230-alfred , who used to call [you]480-dear old tim ' the dragon , ' has seen so much of [you]480-dear old tim during the last few months , that [he]230-alfred begins to feel quite friendly towards [you]480-dear old tim . [He]230-alfred hopes [you]480-dear old tim wo n't miss [him]230-alfred now that [he]230-alfred has gone ; [he]230-alfred begs to apologize for any little trouble [he]230-alfred may have given [you]480-dear old tim . [He]230-alfred is afraid [he]230-alfred rather inconvenienced [you]480-dear old tim once when [he]230-alfred came upon [you]480-dear old tim in [the grenier]2381-the grenier , just as [you]480-dear old tim were reading a letter seemingly of the most special interest ; but [he]230-alfred could not resist the temptation to give [you]480-dear old tim a start , [you]480-dear old tim appeared so wonderfully taken up with [[your]480-dear old tim correspondent]7840-your correspondent . En revanche , [he]230-alfred says [you]480-dear old tim once frightened [him]230-alfred by rushing in for a dress or a shawl , or some other chiffon , at the moment when [he]230-alfred had struck a light , and was going to take a quiet whiff of [his]230-alfred cigar , while waiting for [me]318-timon . "[318-timon] Do [you]4032-you begin to comprehend by this time that [M. le Comte de Hamal]479-m. de hamal was [the nun of the attic]7700-the nun of the attic , and that [he]479-m. de hamal came to see [[your]4032-you humble servant]4034-your humble servant ? [I]0-i will tell [you]4032-you how [he]479-m. de hamal managed it . [You]4032-you know [he]479-m. de hamal has the entree of the Athenee , where [two or three of [[his]479-m. de hamal nephews]4036-his nephews]4035-two or three of his nephews , [the sons of [[his]479-m. de hamal eldest sister]4038-his eldest sister]4037-the sons of his eldest sister , [Madame de Melcy]481-madame de melcy , are [students]4039-students . [You]4032-you know [the court of [the Athenee]95-the athenee]4040-the court of the athenee is on the other side of the high wall bounding [your]4032-you walk , [the allee defendue]3851-the allee defendue . [Alfred]230-alfred can climb as well as [he]230-alfred can dance or fence : [his]230-alfred amusement was to make the escalade of [[our]4042-our pensionnat]4043-our pensionnat by mounting , first the wall ; then - by the aid of that high tree overspreading [the grand berceau]4044-the grand berceau , and resting some of its boughs on the roof of [the lower buildings of [[our]4042-our premises]4046-our premises]4045-the lower buildings of our premises - [he]230-alfred managed to scale [the first classe and [the grand salle]1620-the grand salle]4047-the first classe and the grand salle . One night , by the way , [he]230-alfred fell out of this tree , tore down some of the branches , nearly broke [his]230-alfred own neck , and after all , in running away , got a terrible fright , and was nearly caught by [two people]4049-two people , [Madame Beck]190-madame and [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul , [he]230-alfred thinks , walking in [the alley]5354-the alley . From [the grande salle]6723-the grande salle the ascent is not difficult to [the highest block of building]4052-the highest block of building , finishing in [the great garret]4053-the great garret . The skylight , [you]4054-you know , is , day and night , left half open for air ; by the skylight [he]230-alfred entered . Nearly a year ago [I]0-i chanced to tell [him]230-alfred [our]4042-our legend of [the nun]1581-the nun ; that suggested [his]230-alfred romantic idea of the spectral disguise , which [I]0-i think [you]4054-you must allow [he]230-alfred has very cleverly carried out . " But for [the nun]1581-the nun 's black gown and white veil , [he]230-alfred would have been caught again and again both by [you]4054-you and [that tiger - Jesuit]7842-that tiger - jesuit , [M. Paul]196-m. paul . [He]196-m. paul thinks [you]4054-you both capital [ghost - seers]7843-ghost - seers , and very brave . What [I]4054-you wonder at is , rather [your]4054-you secretiveness than [your]4054-you courage . How could [you]4054-you endure the visitations of [that long spectre]7844-that long spectre , time after time , without crying out , telling [everybody]4957-everybody , and rousing [the whole house]1327-the whole house and [neighbourhood]7847-neighbourhood ? "[4054-you] Oh , and how did [you]4054-you like [the nun]1581-the nun as [a bed - fellow]4057-a bed - fellow ? [I]0-i dressed [her]1581-the nun up : did n't [I]0-i do it well ? Did [you]4054-you shriek when [you]4054-you saw [her]1581-the nun : [I]0-i should have gone mad ; but then [you]4054-you have such nerves ! - real iron and bend- leather ! [I]0-i believe [you]4054-you feel nothing . [You]4054-you have n't the same sensitiveness that [a person of]4058-a person of [my]0-i constitution has . [You]4054-you seem to [me]0-i insensible both to pain and fear and grief . [You]4054-you are [a real old Diogenes]4059-a real old diogenes . " Well , [dear grandmother]7848-dear grandmother ! and are [you]4054-you not mightily angry at [my]4054-you moonlight flitting and run away match ? [I]4054-you assure [you]4054-you it is excellent fun , and [I]4054-you did it partly to spite that minx , [Paulina]141-paulina , and [that bear]7849-that bear , [Dr. John]135-graham : to show [them]4054-you that , with all [their]4054-you airs , [I]4054-you could get married as well as [they]4054-you . [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre was at first in a strange fume with [Alfred]230-alfred ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre threatened a prosecution for ' detournement de mineur , ' and [I]4054-you know not what ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre was so abominably in earnest , that [I]4054-you found [myself]4054-you forced to do a little bit of the melodramatic - go down on [my]4054-you knees , sob , cry , drench three pocket - handkerchiefs . Of course , ' mon oncle ' soon gave in ; indeed , where was the use of making a fuss ? [I]4054-you am married , and that 's all about it . [He]178-m. de bassompierre still says [our]7850-our marriage is not legal , because [I]4054-you am not of age , forsooth ! As if that made any difference ! [I]4054-you am just as much married as if [I]4054-you were a hundred . However , [we]7850-our are to be married again , and [I]4054-you am to have a trousseau , and [Mrs. Cholmondeley]223-mrs. cholmondeley is going to superintend it ; and there are some hopes that [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre will give [me]4054-you a decent portion , which will be very convenient , as [dear Alfred]230-alfred has nothing but [his]230-alfred nobility , native and hereditary , and [his]230-alfred pay . [I]4054-you only wish [uncle]4949-uncle would do things unconditionally , in a generous , gentleman - like fashion ; [he]178-m. de bassompierre is so disagreeable as to make the dowry depend on [Alfred]230-alfred 's giving [his]230-alfred written promise that [he]230-alfred will never touch cards or dice from the day it is paid down . [They]7852-they accuse [[my]4054-you angel]1447-my angel of a tendency to play : [I]4054-you do n't know anything about that , but [I]4054-you do know [he]230-alfred is [a dear , adorable creature]7854-a dear , adorable creature . "[4054-you] [I]0-i can not sufficiently extol the genius with which [de Hamal]230-alfred managed [our]4060-our flight . How clever in [him]230-alfred to select the night of the fete , when [Madame]190-madame for [he]230-alfred knows [her]190-madame habits , as [he]230-alfred said , would infallibly be absent at the concert in [the park]987-the park . [I]0-i suppose [you]4062-you must have gone with [her]190-madame . [I]0-i watched [you]4062-you rise and leave [the dormitory]5027-the dormitory about eleven o'clock . How [you]4062-you returned alone , and on foot , [I]0-i can not conjecture . That surely was [you]4062-you [we]4060-our met in [the narrow old Rue St. Jean]4064-the narrow old rue st. jean ? Did [you]4062-you see [me]0-i wave [my]0-i handkerchief from the carriage window ? " Adieu ! Rejoice in [my]4062-you good luck : congratulate [me]4062-you on [my]4062-you supreme happiness , and believe [me]4062-you , [dear cynic and misanthrope]7855-dear cynic and misanthrope , [yours]4062-you , in the best of health and spirits , [GINEVRA LAURA DE HAMAL]271-de hamal , [nee FANSHAWE]179-ginevra . "[4062-you] P.S. - Remember , [I]0-i am [a countess]4065-a countess now . [Papa]140-papa , [mamma]4272-mamma , and [the girls]4757-the girls at [home]542-home , will be delighted to hear that . ' [[My]0-i daughter]1804-my daughter [the Countess]2721-the countess ! ' ' [[My]0-i sister]959-my sister [the Countess]2721-the countess ! ' [Bravo]482-bravo ! Sounds rather better than [Mrs. John Bretton]483-mrs. john bretton , hein ? " In winding up [Mistress Fanshawe]179-ginevra 's memoirs , [the reader]759-the reader will no doubt expect to hear that [she]179-ginevra came finally to bitter expiation of [her]179-ginevra youthful levities . Of course , a large share of suffering lies in reserve for [her]179-ginevra future . A few words will embody [my]483-mrs. john bretton farther knowledge respecting [her]179-ginevra . [I]483-mrs. john bretton saw [her]179-ginevra towards the close of [her]179-ginevra honeymoon . [She]179-ginevra called on [Madame Beck]190-madame , and sent for [me]483-mrs. john bretton into [the salon]1040-the salon . [She]179-ginevra rushed into [my]483-mrs. john bretton arms laughing . [She]179-ginevra looked very blooming and beautiful : [her]179-ginevra curls were longer , [her]179-ginevra cheeks rosier than ever : [her]179-ginevra white bonnet and [her]179-ginevra Flanders veil , [her]179-ginevra orange - flowers and [[her]179-ginevra bride]7858-her bride 's dress , became [her]179-ginevra mightily . "[483-mrs. john bretton] [I]0-i have got [my]0-i portion ! " [she]179-ginevra cried at once ; [Ginevra]179-ginevra ever stuck to the substantial ; [I]0-i always thought there was a good trading element in [her]179-ginevra composition , much as [she]179-ginevra scorned [the "[0-i] bourgeoise]7859-the " bourgeoise ; " "[0-i] and [uncle]4949-uncle [de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre is quite reconciled . [I]0-i do n't mind [his]4949-uncle calling [Alfred]230-alfred a ' nincompoop ' - that 's only [his]4949-uncle coarse Scotch breeding ; and [I]0-i believe [Paulina]141-paulina envies [me]0-i , and [Dr. John]135-graham is wild with jealousy - fit to blow [his]4949-uncle brains out - and [I]0-i 'm so happy ! [I]0-i really think [I]0-i 've hardly anything left to wish for - unless it be [a carriage]7263-a carriage and [an hotel]2576-an hotel , and , oh ! [I]0-i - must introduce [you]230-alfred to ' [mon mari]4076-mon mari . ' [Alfred]230-alfred , come here ! " And [Alfred]230-alfred appeared from [the inner salon]7860-the inner salon , where [he]230-alfred was talking to [Madame Beck]190-madame , receiving the blended felicitations and reprimands of [that lady]577-that lady . [I]230-alfred was presented under [my]230-alfred various names : [the Dragon]7862-the dragon , [Diogenes]227-old crusty - old diogenes , and [Timon]318-timon . [The young Colonel]7863-the young colonel was very polite . [He]7863-the young colonel made [me]230-alfred a prettily - turned , neatly - worded apology , about the ghost - visits , c. , concluding with saying that "[230-alfred] the best excuse for all [his]230-alfred iniquities stood there ! " pointing to [[his]230-alfred bride]7864-his bride . And then [the bride]7865-the bride sent [him]230-alfred back to [Madame Beck]190-madame , and [she]190-madame took [me]4301-a mother to [herself]190-madame , and proceeded literally to suffocate [me]4301-a mother with [her]190-madame unrestrained spirits , [her]190-madame girlish , giddy , wild nonsense . [She]190-madame showed [her]190-madame ring exultingly ; [she]190-madame called [herself]190-madame [Madame la Comtesse de Hamal]320-madame , and asked how it sounded , a score of times . [I]4301-a mother said very little . [I]4301-a mother gave [her]190-madame only the crust and rind of [my]4301-a mother nature . No matter [she]190-madame expected of [me]4301-a mother nothing better - [she]190-madame knew [me]4301-a mother too well to look for compliments - [my]4301-a mother dry gibes pleased [her]190-madame well enough and the more impassible and prosaic [[my]4301-a mother mien]7866-my mien , the more merrily [she]190-madame laughed . Soon after [his]7867-his marriage , [M. de Hamal]479-m. de hamal was persuaded to leave [the army]7165-the army as the surest way of weaning [him]7867-his from [certain unprofitable associates]7869-certain unprofitable associates and habits ; a post of [attache]7870-attache was procured for [him]7867-his , and [he]7867-his and [[his]7867-his young wife]7871-his young wife went abroad . [I]4301-a mother thought [she]190-madame would forget [me]4301-a mother now , but [she]190-madame did not . For many years , [she]190-madame kept up a capricious , fitful sort of correspondence . During the first year or two , it was only of [herself]190-madame and [Alfred]230-alfred [she]190-madame wrote ; then , [Alfred]230-alfred faded in the background ; [herself]190-madame and [a certain , new comer]7872-a certain , new comer prevailed ; [one Alfred Fanshawe de Bassompierre de Hamal]484-one alfred fanshawe de bassompierre de hamal began to reign in [[his]230-alfred father]6272-his father 's stead . There were great boastings about [this personage]7874-this personage , extravagant amplifications upon miracles of precocity , mixed with vehement objurgations against the phlegmatic incredulity with which [I]4301-a mother received them . [I]4301-a mother did n't know "[4301-a mother] what it was to be [a mother]4301-a mother ; " "[4301-a mother] unfeeling thing that [I]0-i was , the sensibilities of the maternal heart were Greek and Hebrew to [me]0-i , " and so on . In due course of nature [this young gentleman]7875-this young gentleman took [his]7875-this young gentleman degrees in teething , measles , hooping - cough : that was a terrible time for [me]4301-a mother - [the mamma]7876-the mamma 's letters became a perfect shout of affliction ; [never woman]7877-never woman was so put upon by calamity : [never human being]7878-never human being stood in such need of sympathy . [I]4301-a mother was frightened at first , and wrote back pathetically ; but [I]4301-a mother soon found out there was more cry than wool in the business , and relapsed into [my]4301-a mother natural cruel insensibility . As to [the youthful sufferer]7879-the youthful sufferer , [he]7879-the youthful sufferer weathered each storm like [a hero]7880-a hero . Five times was [that youth]7881-that youth "[4301-a mother] in articulo mortis , " and five times did [he]7879-the youthful sufferer miraculously revive . In the course of years there arose ominous murmurings against [Alfred]484-one alfred fanshawe de bassompierre de hamal the First ; [M. de Bassompierre]178-m. de bassompierre had to be appealed to , debts had to be paid , some of them of that dismal and dingy order called "[4301-a mother] debts of honour ; " ignoble plaints and difficulties became frequent . Under every cloud , no matter what its nature , [Ginevra]179-ginevra , as of old , called out lustily for sympathy and aid . [She]179-ginevra had no notion of meeting any distress single - handed . In some shape , from some quarter or other , [she]179-ginevra was pretty sure to obtain [her]179-ginevra will , and so [she]179-ginevra got on - fighting the battle of life by proxy , and , on the whole , suffering as little as [any human being]1760-any human being [I]4301-a mother have ever known . CHAPTER XLI . [FAUBOURG CLOTILDE]485-faubourg clotilde . Must [I]4301-a mother , ere [I]4301-a mother close , render some account of that Freedom and Renovation which [I]4301-a mother won on the fete - night ? Must [I]4301-a mother tell how [I]4301-a mother and [the two stalwart companions [I]4301-a mother brought [home]542-home from [the illuminated park]7885-the illuminated park]7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park bore the test of intimate acquaintance ? [I]4301-a mother tried them the very next day . [They]7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park had boasted [their]7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park strength loudly when [they]7883-the two stalwart companions i brought home from the illuminated park reclaimed [me]4301-a mother from love and its bondage , but upon [my]4301-a mother demanding deeds , not words , some evidence of better comfort , some experience of a relieved life - [Freedom]486-freedom excused [himself]486-freedom , as for [the present impoverished and disabled]7886-the present impoverished and disabled to assist ; and [Renovation]487-renovation never spoke ; [he]486-freedom had died in the night suddenly . [I]4301-a mother had nothing left for it then but to trust secretly that conjecture might have hurried [me]4301-a mother too fast and too far , to sustain the oppressive hour by reminders of the distorting and discolouring magic of jealousy . After a short and vain struggle , [I]4301-a mother found [myself]4301-a mother brought back captive to the old rack of suspense , tied down and strained anew . Shall [I]4301-a mother yet see [him]486-freedom before [he]486-freedom goes ? Will [he]486-freedom bear [me]4301-a mother in mind ? Does [he]486-freedom purpose to come ? Will this day - will the next hour bring [him]486-freedom ? or must [I]4301-a mother again assay that corroding pain of long attent - that rude agony of rupture at the close , that mute , mortal wrench , which , in at once uprooting hope and doubt , shakes life ; while the hand that does the violence can not be caressed to pity , because absence interposes [her]7887-her barrier ! It was the Feast of [the Assumption]7888-the assumption ; [no school]7889-no school was held . [The boarders]1097-the boarders and [teachers]1087-teachers , after attending mass in the morning , were gone a long walk into [the country]571-the country to take [their]1097-the boarders gouter , or afternoon meal , at [some farm - house]7893-some farm - house . [I]4301-a mother did not go with [them]1097-the boarders , for now but two days remained ere [the Paul et Virginie]214-virginie must sail , and [I]4301-a mother was clinging to [my]4301-a mother last chance , as the living waif of a wreck clings to [his]486-freedom last raft or cable . There was [some joiners]7894-some joiners ' work to do in the first classe , some bench or desk to repair ; holidays were often turned to account for the performance of these operations , which could not be executed when [the rooms]5260-the rooms were filled with [pupils]4924-pupils . As [I]4301-a mother sat solitary , purposing to adjourn to [the garden]1165-the garden and leave [the coast]7898-the coast clear , but too listless to fulfil [my]4301-a mother own intent , [I]4301-a mother heard [the workmen]7899-the workmen coming . [Foreign artisans]7900-foreign artisans and [servants]1062-servants do everything by [couples]7902-couples : [I]4301-a mother believe it would take [two Labassecourien carpenters]7903-two labassecourien carpenters to drive a nail . While tying on [my]4301-a mother bonnet , which had hitherto hung by its ribbons from [my]4301-a mother idle hand , [I]4301-a mother vaguely and momentarily wondered to hear the step of but one "[4301-a mother] ouvrier . " [I]196-m. paul noted , too - as captives in [dungeons]7904-dungeons find sometimes dreary leisure to note the merest trifles - that [this man]4628-this man wore shoes , and not sabots : [I]196-m. paul concluded that it must be [the master - carpenter]7906-the master - carpenter , coming to inspect before [he]7906-the master - carpenter sent [[his]7906-the master - carpenter journeymen]7907-his journeymen . [I]196-m. paul threw round [me]196-m. paul [my]196-m. paul scarf . [He]4628-this man advanced ; [he]4628-this man opened the door ; [my]196-m. paul back was towards [it]7908-it ; [I]196-m. paul felt a little thrill - a curious sensation , too quick and transient to be analyzed . [I]196-m. paul turned , [I]196-m. paul stood in [the supposed master - artisan]7909-the supposed master - artisan 's presence : looking towards the door - way , [I]196-m. paul saw [it]7908-it filled with [a figure]7910-a figure , and [my]196-m. paul eyes printed upon [my]196-m. paul brain the picture of [M. Paul]196-m. paul . Hundreds of the prayers with which [we]7911-we weary [Heaven]188-heaven bring to the suppliant no fulfilment . Once haply in life , one golden gift falls prone in the lap - one boon full and bright , perfect from [Fruition]488-fruition 's mint . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul wore the dress in which [he]4628-this man probably purposed to travel - a surtout , guarded with velvet ; [I]196-m. paul thought [him]4628-this man prepared for instant departure , and yet [I]196-m. paul had understood that two days were yet to run before [the ship]766-the ship sailed . [He]4628-this man looked well and cheerful . [He]4628-this man looked kind and benign : [he]4628-this man came in with eagerness ; [he]4628-this man was close to [me]196-m. paul in one second ; [he]4628-this man was all amity . It might be [[his]4628-this man bridegroom]7913-his bridegroom mood which thus brightened [him]4628-this man . Whatever the cause , [I]196-m. paul could not meet [his]4628-this man sunshine with cloud . If this were [my]196-m. paul last moment with [him]4628-this man , [I]196-m. paul would not waste it in forced , unnatural distance . [I]196-m. paul loved [him]4628-this man well - too well not to smite out of [my]196-m. paul path even Jealousy [herself]7914-herself , when [she]7914-herself would have obstructed a kind farewell . A cordial word from [his]4628-this man lips , or a gentle look from [his]4628-this man eyes , would do [me]196-m. paul good , for all the span of life that remained to [me]196-m. paul ; it would be comfort in the last strait of loneliness ; [I]196-m. paul would take it - [I]196-m. paul would taste the elixir , and pride should not spill the cup . The interview would be short , of course : [he]4628-this man would say to [me]196-m. paul just what [he]4628-this man had said to [each of [the assembled pupils]7916-the assembled pupils]7915-each of the assembled pupils ; [he]4628-this man would take and hold [my]196-m. paul hand two minutes ; [he]4628-this man would touch [my]196-m. paul cheek with [his]4628-this man lips for the first , last , only time - and then - no more . Then , indeed , the final parting , then the wide separation , the great gulf [I]196-m. paul could not pass to go to [him]4628-this man - across which , haply , [he]4628-this man would not glance , to remember [me]196-m. paul . [He]4628-this man took [my]196-m. paul hand in one of [his]4628-this man , with the other [he]4628-this man put back [my]196-m. paul bonnet ; [he]4628-this man looked into [my]196-m. paul face , [his]4628-this man luminous smile went out , [his]4628-this man lips expressed something almost like the wordless language of a mother who finds [a child greatly and unexpectedly changed , broken with illness , or worn out by want]7917-a child greatly and unexpectedly changed , broken with illness , or worn out by want . A check supervened . "[196-m. paul] [Paul]196-m. paul , [Paul]196-m. paul ! " said [a woman]4363-a woman 's hurried voice behind , "[196-m. paul] [Paul]196-m. paul , come into [the salon]1040-the salon ; [I]0-i have yet a great many things to say to [you]196-m. paul - conversation for the whole day - and so has [Victor]324-m. victor kint ; and [Josef]306-m. emanuel is here . Come [Paul]196-m. paul , come to [[your]196-m. paul friends]3167-your friends . " [Madame Beck]190-madame , brought to the spot by vigilance or an inscrutable instinct , pressed so near , [she]190-madame almost thrust [herself]190-madame between [me]196-m. paul and [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul . "[196-m. paul] Come , [Paul]196-m. paul ! " [she]190-madame reiterated , [her]190-madame eye grazing [me]196-m. paul with its hard ray like a steel stylet . [She]190-madame pushed against [[her]190-madame kinsman]2823-her kinsman . [I]196-m. paul thought [he]2823-her kinsman receded ; [I]196-m. paul thought [he]2823-her kinsman would go . [Pierced]489-pierced deeper than [I]196-m. paul could endure , made now to feel what defied suppression , [I]196-m. paul cried - "[196-m. paul] [My]0-i heart will break ! " What [I]196-m. paul felt seemed literal heart - break ; but the seal of another fountain yielded under the strain : one breath from [M. Paul]196-m. paul , the whisper , "[196-m. paul] Trust [me]0-i ! " lifted a load , opened an outlet . With many a deep sob , with thrilling , with icy shiver , with strong trembling , and yet with relief - [I]196-m. paul wept . "[196-m. paul] Leave [her]4080-her to [me]0-i ; it is a crisis : [I]0-i will give [her]4080-her a cordial , and it will pass , " said the calm [Madame Beck]190-madame . To be left to [her]4080-her and [her]4080-her cordial seemed to [me]0-i something like being left to [the poisoner]7920-the poisoner and [her]4080-her bowl . When [M. Paul]196-m. paul answered deeply , harshly , and briefly - "[0-i] Laissez - moi ! " in the grim sound [I]0-i felt a music strange , strong , but life - giving . "[0-i] Laissez - moi ! " [he]289-pere silas repeated , [his]289-pere silas nostrils opening , and [his]289-pere silas facial muscles all quivering as [he]289-pere silas spoke . "[0-i] But this will never do , " said [Madame]190-madame , with sternness . More sternly rejoined [[her]190-madame kinsman]2823-her kinsman - "[0-i] Sortez d'ici ! " "[0-i] [I]0-i will send for [Pere Silas]289-pere silas : on the spot [I]0-i will send for [him]289-pere silas , " [she]190-madame threatened pertinaciously . "[490-femme] [Femme]490-femme ! " cried [the Professor]2055-the professor , not now in [his]2055-the professor deep tones , but in [his]2055-the professor highest and most excited key , "[490-femme] [Femme]490-femme ! sortez a l'instant ! " [He]2055-the professor was roused , and [I]490-femme loved [him]2055-the professor in [his]2055-the professor wrath with a passion beyond what [I]490-femme had yet felt . "[490-femme] What [you]4081-you do is wrong , " pursued [Madame]190-madame ; "[490-femme] it is an act characteristic of men of [your]4081-you unreliable , imaginative temperament ; a step impulsive , injudicious , inconsistent - a proceeding vexatious , and not estimable in the view of [persons of steadier and more resolute character]4082-persons of steadier and more resolute character . " "[4081-you] [You]4081-you know not what [I]0-i have of steady and resolute in [me]0-i , " said [he]0-i , "[0-i] but [you]4081-you shall see ; the event shall teach [you]4081-you . Modeste , " [he]0-i continued less fiercely , "[4081-you] be gentle , be pitying , be [a woman]4363-a woman ; look at this poor face , and relent . [You]4081-you know [I]0-i am [[your]4081-you friend]5751-your friend , and [the friend of [[your]4081-you friends]3167-your friends]4085-the friend of your friends ; in spite of [your]4081-you taunts , [you]4081-you well and deeply know [I]0-i may be trusted . Of sacrificing [myself]0-i [I]0-i made no difficulty but [my]0-i heart is pained by what [I]0-i see ; it must have and give solace . Leave [me]0-i ! " This time , in the "[0-i] leave [me]0-i " there was an intonation so bitter and so imperative , [I]0-i wondered that even [Madame Beck]190-madame [herself]190-madame could for one moment delay obedience ; but [she]190-madame stood firm ; [she]190-madame gazed upon [him]0-i dauntless ; [she]190-madame met [his]0-i eye , forbidding and fixed as stone . [She]190-madame was opening [her]190-madame lips to retort ; [I]0-i saw over all M. [Paul]196-m. paul 's face a quick rising light and fire ; [I]0-i can hardly tell how [he]0-i managed the movement ; it did not seem violent ; it kept the form of courtesy ; [he]0-i gave [his]0-i hand ; it scarce touched [her]190-madame [I]0-i thought ; [she]190-madame ran , [she]190-madame whirled from [the room]600-the room ; [she]190-madame was gone , and the door shut , in one second . The flash of passion was all over very soon . [He]0-i smiled as [he]0-i told [me]0-i to wipe [my]0-i eyes ; [he]0-i waited quietly till [I]0-i was calm , dropping from time to time a stilling , solacing word . Ere long [I]0-i sat beside [him]0-i once more [myself]0-i - re - assured , not desperate , nor yet desolate ; not friendless , not hopeless , not sick of life , and seeking death . "[0-i] It made [you]4087-you very sad then to lose [[your]4087-you friend]5751-your friend ? " said [he]0-i . "[0-i] It kills [me]0-i to be forgotten , [Monsieur]4089-monsieur , " [I]4089-monsieur said . "[4089-monsieur] All these weary days [I]0-i have not heard from [you]4089-monsieur one word , and [I]0-i was crushed with the possibility , growing to certainty , that [you]4089-monsieur would depart without saying farewell ! " "[0-i] Must [I]0-i tell [you]4089-monsieur what [I]0-i told [Modeste Beck]204-modeste maria beck - that [you]4089-monsieur do not know [me]0-i ? Must [I]0-i show and teach [you]4089-monsieur [my]0-i character ? [You]4089-monsieur will have proof that [I]0-i can be [a firm friend]4090-a firm friend ? Without clear proof this hand will not lie still in [mine]0-i , it will not trust [my]0-i shoulder as a safe stay ? Good . The proof is ready . [I]0-i come to justify [myself]0-i . " "[0-i] Say anything , teach anything , prove anything , [Monsieur]4091-monsieur ; [I]0-i can listen now . " "[4091-monsieur] Then , in the first place , [you]4089-monsieur must go out with [me]0-i a good distance into [the town]1306-the town . [I]0-i came on purpose to fetch [you]4089-monsieur . " Without questioning [his]4091-monsieur meaning , or sounding [his]4091-monsieur plan , or offering the semblance of an objection , [I]0-i re - tied [my]0-i bonnet : [I]0-i was ready . The route [he]4091-monsieur took was by [the boulevards]5051-the boulevards : [he]4091-monsieur several times made [me]0-i sit down on the seats stationed under the lime - trees ; [he]4091-monsieur did not ask if [I]0-i was tired , but looked , and drew [his]4091-monsieur own conclusions . "[0-i] All these weary days , " said [he]4091-monsieur , repeating [my]0-i words , with a gentle , kindly mimicry of [my]0-i voice and foreign accent , not new from [his]4091-monsieur lips , and of which the playful banter never wounded , not even when coupled , as it often was , with the assertion , that however [I]0-i might write [his]4091-monsieur language , [I]0-i spoke and always should speak it imperfectly and hesitatingly . "[0-i] ' All these weary days ' [I]0-i have not for one hour forgotten [you]4093-you . [Faithful women]4094-faithful women err in this , that [they]4094-faithful women think [themselves]4094-faithful women [the sole faithful of [God]164-god 's creatures]4095-the sole faithful of god 's creatures . On a very fervent and living truth to [myself]0-i , [I]0-i , too , till lately scarce dared count , from any quarter ; but - - look at [me]0-i . " , [I]491-constancy lifted [my]491-constancy happy eyes : [they]7925-they were happy now , or [they]7925-they would have been [no interpreters of [my]491-constancy heart]7926-no interpreters of my heart . "[491-constancy] Well , " said [he]4096-monsieur , after some seconds ' scrutiny , "[491-constancy] there is no denying that signature : [Constancy]491-constancy wrote it : [her]491-constancy pen is of iron . Was the record painful ? " "[0-i] Severely painful , " [I]0-i said , with truth . "[0-i] Withdraw [her]491-constancy hand , [Monsieur]4096-monsieur ; [I]0-i can bear its inscribing force no more . " "[4096-monsieur] Elle est toute pale , " said [he]4096-monsieur , speaking to [himself]4096-monsieur ; "[4096-monsieur] cette figure - la [me]0-i fait mal . " "[0-i] Ah ! [I]0-i am not pleasant to look at - - ? " [I]0-i could not help saying this ; the words came unbidden : [I]0-i never remember the time when [I]0-i had not a haunting dread of what might be the degree of [my]0-i outward deficiency ; this dread pressed [me]0-i at the moment with special force . A great softness passed upon [his]4096-monsieur countenance ; [his]4096-monsieur violet eyes grew suffused and glistening under [their]7927-their deep Spanish lashes : [he]4096-monsieur started up ; "[0-i] Let [us]4097-us walk on . " "[0-i] Do [I]0-i displease [your]4096-monsieur eyes much ? " [I]0-i took courage to urge : the point had its vital import for [me]0-i . [He]4096-monsieur stopped , and gave [me]0-i a short , strong answer ; an answer which silenced , subdued , yet profoundly satisfied . Ever after that [I]0-i knew what [I]0-i was for [him]4096-monsieur ; and what [I]0-i might be for the rest of [the world]811-the world , [I]0-i ceased painfully to care . Was it weak to lay so much stress on an opinion about appearance ? [I]0-i fear it might be ; [I]0-i fear it was ; but in that case [I]0-i must avow no light share of weakness . [I]0-i must own great fear of displeasing - a strong wish moderately to please [M. Paul]196-m. paul . Whither [we]4097-us rambled , [I]0-i scarce knew . [Our]4097-us walk was long , yet seemed short ; the path was pleasant , the day lovely . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul talked of [his]4096-monsieur voyage - [he]4096-monsieur thought of staying away three years . On [his]4096-monsieur return from [Guadaloupe]113-guadaloupe , [he]4096-monsieur looked forward to release from liabilities and a clear course ; and what did [I]0-i purpose doing in the interval of [his]4096-monsieur absence ? [he]4096-monsieur asked . [I]0-i had talked once , [he]4096-monsieur reminded [me]0-i , of trying to be independent and keeping a little school of [my]0-i own : had [I]0-i dropped the idea ? "[0-i] Indeed , [I]0-i had not : [I]0-i was doing [my]0-i best to save what would enable [me]0-i to put it in practice . " "[4098-he] [He]4098-he did not like leaving [me]0-i in [the Rue Fossette]4917-the rue fossette ; [he]4098-he feared [I]0-i should miss [him]4098-he there too much - [I]0-i should feel desolate - [I]0-i should grow sad - ? " This was certain ; but [I]4098-he promised to do [my]4098-he best to endure . "[4098-he] Still , " said [he]0-i , speaking low , "[4098-he] there is another objection to [[your]0-i present residence]4100-your present residence . [I]0-i should wish to write to [you]0-i sometimes : it would not be well to have any uncertainty about the safe transmission of letters ; and in [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette - in short , [our]4101-we Catholic discipline in certain matters - though justifiable and expedient - might possibly , under peculiar circumstances , become liable to misapplication - perhaps abuse . " "[4103-twenty directresses] But if [you]0-i write , " said [I]0-i , "[0-i] [I]0-i must have [your]0-i letters ; and [I]0-i will have them : [ten directors]4102-ten directors , [twenty directresses]4103-twenty directresses , shall not keep them from [me]0-i . [I]0-i am [a Protestant]928-a protestant : [I]0-i will not bear that kind of discipline : [Monsieur]4105-monsieur , [I]0-i will not . " "[4105-monsieur] Doucement - doucement , " rejoined [he]0-i ; "[4105-monsieur] [we]4101-we will contrive a plan ; [we]4101-we have [our]4101-we resources : soyez tranquille . " So speaking , [he]0-i paused . [We]4101-we were now returning from the long walk . [We]4101-we had reached [the middle of [a clean Faubourg]7930-a clean faubourg]7929-the middle of a clean faubourg , where [the houses]3524-the houses were small , but looked pleasant . [It]7932-it was before the white door - step of [a very neat abode that [M. Paul]196-m. paul had halted]7933-a very neat abode that m. paul had halted . "[0-i] [I]0-i call [here]4212-here , " said [he]0-i . [He]0-i did not knock , but taking from [his]0-i pocket a key , [he]0-i opened and entered at once . Ushering [me]0-i in , [he]0-i shut the door behind [us]4101-we . [No servant]3623-no servant appeared . [The vestibule]1004-the vestibule was small , like [the house]518-the house , but freshly and tastefully painted ; [its]1004-the vestibule vista closed in a French window with vines trained about the panes , tendrils , and green leaves kissing the glass . Silence reigned in [this dwelling]7937-this dwelling . Opening an inner door , [M. Paul]196-m. paul disclosed [a parlour]7938-a parlour , or [salon]7939-salon - very tiny , but [I]0-i thought , very pretty . [Its]7938-a parlour delicate walls were tinged like a blush ; [its]7938-a parlour floor was waxed ; a square of brilliant carpet covered [its]7938-a parlour centre ; [its]7938-a parlour small round table shone like the mirror over [its]7938-a parlour hearth ; there was a little couch , a little chiffonniere , the half - open , crimson - silk door of which , showed porcelain on the shelves ; there was a French clock , a lamp ; there were ornaments in biscuit china ; the recess of the single ample window was filled with a green stand , bearing three green flower - pots , each filled with a fine plant glowing in bloom ; in one corner appeared a gueridon with a marble top , and upon [it]7938-a parlour a work - box , and a glass filled with violets in water . The lattice of [this room]740-this room was open ; the outer air breathing through , gave freshness , the sweet violets lent fragrance . "[0-i] Pretty , pretty place ! " said I. M. [Paul]196-m. paul smiled to see [me]0-i so pleased . "[0-i] Must [we]4107-we sit down here and wait ? " [I]4107-we asked in a whisper , half awed by the deep pervading hush . "[4107-we] [We]4107-we will first peep into [one or two other nooks of this nutshell]4108-one or two other nooks of this nutshell , " [he]196-m. paul replied . "[4107-we] Dare [you]4109-i take the freedom of going all over [the house]518-the house ? " [I]4109-i inquired . "[4109-i] Yes , [I]0-i dare , " said [he]196-m. paul , quietly . [He]196-m. paul led the way . [I]4109-i was shown [a little kitchen]7941-a little kitchen with a little stove and oven , with few but bright brasses , two chairs and a table . A small cupboard held a diminutive but commodious set of earthenware . "[4109-i] There is a coffee service of china in [the salon]1040-the salon , " said [M. Paul]196-m. paul , as [I]4109-i looked at the six green and white dinner - plates ; the four dishes , the cups and jugs to match . Conducted up [the narrow but clean staircase]7942-the narrow but clean staircase , [I]4109-i was permitted a glimpse of two pretty cabinets of [sleeping - rooms]7943-sleeping - rooms ; finally , [I]4109-i was once more led below , and [we]4107-we halted with a certain ceremony before a larger door than had yet been opened . Producing a second key , [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul adjusted it to the lock of this door . [He]196-m. paul opened , put [me]4109-i in before [him]196-m. paul . "[4109-i] Voici ! " [he]196-m. paul cried . [I]4109-i found [myself]4109-i in [a good - sized apartment]7944-a good - sized apartment , scrupulously clean , though bare , compared with those [I]4109-i had hitherto seen . The well - scoured boards were carpetless ; [it]7944-a good - sized apartment contained two rows of green benches and desks , with an alley down the centre , terminating in an estrade , a [teacher]2435-teacher 's chair and table ; behind them a tableau , On the walls hung two maps ; in the windows flowered a few hardy plants ; in short , here was a miniature classe - complete , neat , pleasant . "[4109-i] It is [a school]939-a school then ? " said [I.]4109-i "[4109-i] Who keeps [it]939-a school ? [I]0-i never heard of [an establishment in [this faubourg]4114-this faubourg]4113-an establishment in this faubourg . " "[0-i] Will [you]4115-his have the goodness to accept of a few prospectuses for distribution in behalf of [a friend of mine]4116-a friend of mine ? " asked [he]196-m. paul , taking from [his]196-m. paul surtout - pocket some quires of these documents , and putting them into [my]4115-his hand . [I]4115-his looked , [I]4115-his read - printed in fair characters : - "[4115-his] Externat de demoiselles . Numero 7 , [Faubourg]124-faubourg Clotilde , Directrice , [Mademoiselle Lucy Snowe]333-lucy . " And what did [I]4115-his say to [M. Paul Emanuel]196-m. paul ? Certain junctures of [our]7946-our lives must always be difficult of recall to memory . Certain points , crises , certain feelings , joys , griefs , and amazements , when reviewed , must strike [us]7946-our as things wildered and whirling , dim as a wheel fast spun . [I]4115-his can no more remember the thoughts or the words of the ten minutes succeeding this disclosure , than [I]4115-his can retrace the experience of [my]4115-his earliest year of life : and yet the first thing distinct to [me]4115-his is the consciousness that [I]4115-his was speaking very fast , repeating over and over again : - "[4115-his] Did [you]4115-his do this , [M. Paul]196-m. paul ? Is this [[your]4115-his house]4117-your house ? Did [you]4115-his furnish it ? Did [you]4115-his get these papers printed ? Do [you]4115-his mean [me]0-i ? Am [I]0-i [the directress]4887-the directress ? Is there another [Lucy Snowe]333-lucy ? Tell [me]0-i : say something . " But [he]4115-his would not speak . [His]4115-his pleased silence , [his]4115-his laughing down - look , [his]4115-his attitude , are visible to [me]0-i now . "[0-i] How is it ? [I]0-i must know all - all , " [I]0-i cried . The packet of papers fell on the floor . [He]4115-his had extended [his]4115-his hand , and [I]0-i had fastened thereon , oblivious of all else . "[0-i] Ah ! [you]0-i said [I]0-i had forgotten [you]0-i all these weary days , " said [he]4115-his . "[0-i] [Poor old Emanuel]196-m. paul ! These are the thanks [he]196-m. paul gets for trudging about three mortal weeks from [house - painter]4119-house - painter to upholsterer , from [cabinet- maker]4120-cabinet- maker to [charwoman]4121-charwoman . [Lucy]333-lucy and [Lucy]333-lucy 's cot , the sole thoughts in [his]196-m. paul head ! " [I]333-lucy hardly knew what to do . [I]333-lucy first caressed the soft velvet on [his]4115-his cuff , and then . [I]333-lucy stroked the hand it surrounded . It was [his]4115-his foresight , [his]4115-his goodness , [his]4115-his silent , strong , effective goodness , that overpowered [me]333-lucy by [their]7947-their proved reality . It was the assurance of [his]4115-his sleepless interest which broke on [me]333-lucy like a light from heaven ; it was [his]4115-his - [I]333-lucy will dare to say it - [his]4115-his fond , tender look , which now shook [me]333-lucy indescribably . In the midst of all [I]333-lucy forced [myself]333-lucy to look at the practical . "[333-lucy] The trouble ! " [I]333-lucy cried , "[333-lucy] and the cost ! Had [you]196-m. paul money , [M. Paul]196-m. paul ? " "[196-m. paul] Plenty of money ! " said [he]4115-his heartily . "[196-m. paul] The disposal of [my]0-i large teaching connection put [me]0-i in possession of a handsome sum with part of it [I]0-i determined to give [myself]0-i the richest treat that [I]0-i have known or shall know . [I]0-i like this . [I]0-i have reckoned on this hour day and night lately . [I]0-i would not come near [you]196-m. paul , because [I]0-i would not forestall it . Reserve is neither [my]0-i virtue nor [my]0-i vice . If [I]0-i had put [myself]0-i into [your]196-m. paul power , and [you]196-m. paul had begun with [your]196-m. paul questions of look and lip - Where have [you]196-m. paul been , [M. Paul]196-m. paul ? What have [you]196-m. paul been doing ? What is [your]196-m. paul mystery ? - [my]0-i solitary first and last secret would presently have unravelled itself in [your]196-m. paul lap . Now , " [he]0-i pursued , "[196-m. paul] [you]196-m. paul shall live [here]4212-here and have [a school]939-a school ; [you]196-m. paul shall employ [yourself]196-m. paul while [I]0-i am away ; [you]196-m. paul shall think of [me]0-i sometimes ; [you]196-m. paul shall mind [your]196-m. paul health and happiness for [my]0-i sake , and when [I]0-i come back - " There [he]0-i left a blank . [I]0-i promised to do all [he]0-i told [me]0-i . [I]0-i promised to work hard and willingly . "[0-i] [I]0-i will be [[your]196-m. paul faithful steward]4124-your faithful steward , " [I]0-i said ; "[0-i] [I]0-i trust at [your]196-m. paul coming the account will be ready . [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [monsieur]1465-monsieur , [you]196-m. paul are too good ! " In such inadequate language [my]1465-monsieur feelings struggled for expression : [they]7948-they could not get it ; speech , brittle and unmalleable , and cold as ice , dissolved or shivered in the effort . [He]0-i watched [me]1465-monsieur , still ; [he]0-i gently raised [his]0-i hand to stroke [my]1465-monsieur hair ; it touched [my]1465-monsieur lips in passing ; [I]1465-monsieur pressed it close , [I]1465-monsieur paid it tribute . [He]0-i was [[my]1465-monsieur king]7949-my king ; royal for [me]1465-monsieur had been that hand 's bounty ; to offer homage was both a joy and a duty . The afternoon hours were over , and the stiller time of evening shaded the quiet faubourg . [M. Paul]196-m. paul claimed [my]1465-monsieur hospitality ; occupied and afoot since morning , [he]0-i needed refreshment ; [he]0-i said [I]1465-monsieur should offer [him]0-i chocolate in [my]1465-monsieur pretty gold and white china service . [He]0-i went out and ordered what was needful from [the restaurant]7950-the restaurant ; [he]0-i placed the small gueridon and two chairs in [the balcony]521-the balcony outside the French window under the screening vines . With what shy joy [i]1465-monsieur accepted [my]1465-monsieur part as [hostess]7952-hostess , arranged the salver , served [the benefactor - guest]7953-the benefactor - guest . [This balcony]7954-this balcony was in [the rear of [the house]518-the house]7955-the rear of the house , [the gardens of [the faubourg]7958-the faubourg]7957-the gardens of the faubourg were round [us]7959-us , fields extended beyond . The air was still , mild , and fresh . Above the poplars , the laurels , the cypresses , and the roses , looked up a moon so lovely and so halcyon , the heart trembled under [her]7960-her smile ; a star shone subject beside [her]7960-her , with the unemulous ray of pure love . In [a large garden near [us]7959-us]7961-a large garden near us , a jet rose from a well , and a pale statue leaned over the play of waters . [M. Paul]196-m. paul talked to [me]1465-monsieur . [His]0-i voice was so modulated that it mixed harmonious with the silver whisper , the gush , the musical sigh , in which light breeze , fountain and foliage intoned their lulling vesper : Happy hour - stay one moment ! droop those plumes , rest those wings ; incline to mine [that brow of [Heaven]188-heaven]7962-that brow of heaven ! [White Angel]492-white angel ! let [thy]492-white angel light linger ; leave its reflection on succeeding clouds ; bequeath its cheer to that time which needs a ray in retrospect ! [Our]7959-us meal was simple : the chocolate , the rolls , the plate of fresh summer fruit , cherries and strawberries bedded in green leaves formed the whole : but it was what [we]7959-us both liked better than a feast , and [I]1465-monsieur took a delight inexpressible in tending [M. Paul]196-m. paul . [I]1465-monsieur asked [him]0-i whether [[his]0-i friends]706-his friends , [Pere Silas]289-pere silas and [Madame Beck]190-madame , knew what [he]0-i had done - whether [they]706-his friends had seen [[my]1465-monsieur house]1813-my house ? "[1465-monsieur] Mon amie , " said [he]0-i , "[1465-monsieur] none knows what [I]0-i have done save [you]4127-you and [myself]0-i : the pleasure is consecrated to [us]4128-us two , unshared and unprofaned . To speak truth , there has been to [me]0-i in this matter a refinement of enjoyment [I]0-i would not make vulgar by communication . Besides " smiling "[0-i] [I]0-i wanted to prove to [Miss Lucy]142-lucy that [I]0-i could keep a secret . How often has [she]142-lucy taunted [me]0-i with lack of dignified reserve and needful caution ! How many times has [she]142-lucy saucily insinuated that all [my]0-i affairs are the secret of [Polichinelle]493-polichinelle ! " This was true enough : [I]142-lucy had not spared [him]0-i on this point , nor perhaps on any other that was assailable . [Magnificent - minded , grand - hearted , dear , faulty little man]7965-magnificent - minded , grand - hearted , dear , faulty little man ! [You]4127-you deserved candour , and from [me]142-lucy always had it . Continuing [my]142-lucy queries , [I]142-lucy asked to whom [the house]518-the house belonged , who was [[my]142-lucy landlord]7967-my landlord , the amount of [my]142-lucy rent . [He]0-i instantly gave [me]142-lucy these particulars in writing ; [he]0-i had foreseen and prepared all things . [The house]518-the house was not M. [Paul]196-m. paul 's - that [I]142-lucy guessed : [he]0-i was hardly [the man to become a proprietor]7969-the man to become a proprietor ; [I]142-lucy more than suspected in [him]0-i a lamentable absence of [the saving faculty]7970-the saving faculty ; [he]0-i could get , but not keep ; [he]0-i needed [a treasurer]7971-a treasurer . [The tenement]7972-the tenement , then , belonged to [a citizen in [the Basse- Ville]5939-the basse- ville]7973-a citizen in the basse- ville - [a man of substance]7975-a man of substance , [M. Paul]196-m. paul said ; [he]196-m. paul startled [me]142-lucy by adding : "[142-lucy] [a friend of yours]4129-a friend of yours , [Miss Lucy]142-lucy , [a person who has a most respectful regard for [you]142-lucy]4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you . " And , to [my]142-lucy pleasant surprise , [I]142-lucy found [the landlord]7976-the landlord was none other than [M. Miret]464-m. miret , [the short - tempered and kind - hearted bookseller , who had so kindly found [me]142-lucy a seat that eventful night in [the park]987-the park]7977-the short - tempered and kind - hearted bookseller , who had so kindly found me a seat that eventful night in the park . It seems [M. Miret]464-m. miret was , in [his]464-m. miret station , rich , as well as much respected , and possessed [several houses in [this faubourg]4114-this faubourg]7979-several houses in this faubourg ; the rent was moderate , scarce half of what it would have been for [a house of equal size nearer [the centre of [Villette]3-villette]7982-the centre of villette]7981-a house of equal size nearer the centre of villette . "[142-lucy] And then , " observed [M. Paul]196-m. paul , ' should [fortune]7983-fortune not favour [you]142-lucy , though [I]142-lucy think [she]7983-fortune will , [I]142-lucy have the satisfaction to think [you]142-lucy are in good hands ; [M. Miret]464-m. miret will not be extortionate : the first year 's rent [you]142-lucy have already in [your]142-lucy savings ; afterwards [Miss Lucy]142-lucy must trust [God]164-god , and [herself]142-lucy . But now , what will [you]142-lucy do for [pupils]4924-pupils ? "[142-lucy] " [I]4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you must distribute [my]4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you prospectuses . "[4130-a person who has a most respectful regard for you] " Right ! By way of losing no time , [I]142-lucy gave one to [M. Miret]464-m. miret yesterday . Should [you]142-lucy object to beginning with [three petite bourgeoises]7985-three petite bourgeoises , [the Demoiselles Miret]494-the demoiselles miret ? [They]7985-three petite bourgeoises are at [your]142-lucy service . "[142-lucy] " [Monsieur]1465-monsieur , [you]142-lucy forget nothing ; [you]142-lucy are wonderful . [Object]495-object ? It would become [me]142-lucy indeed to object ! [I]142-lucy suppose [I]142-lucy hardly expect at the outset to number [aristocrats]7987-aristocrats in [[my]142-lucy little day - school]7988-my little day - school ; [I]142-lucy care not if [they]7987-aristocrats never come . [I]142-lucy shall be proud to receive [[M. Miret]464-m. miret 's daughters]7989-m. miret 's daughters . "[142-lucy] " Besides these , "[4131-he] pursued [he]4131-he , " [another pupil]7990-another pupil offers , who will come daily to take lessons in English ; and as [she]7990-another pupil is rich , [she]7990-another pupil will pay handsomely . [I]4131-he mean [[my]4131-he god]3864-my god - daughter and ward , [Justine Marie Sauveur]429-justine marie . "[4131-he] What is in a name ? - what in three words ? Till this moment [I]0-i had listened with living joy - [I]0-i had answered with gleeful quickness ; a name froze [me]0-i ; three words struck [me]0-i mute . The effect could not be hidden , and indeed [I]0-i scarce tried to hide it . " What now ? "[196-m. paul] said [M. Paul]196-m. paul . " Nothing . "[196-m. paul] " Nothing ! [Your]0-i countenance changes : [your]0-i colour and [your]0-i very eyes fade . Nothing ! [You]0-i must be ill ; [you]0-i have some suffering ; tell [me]0-i what . "[0-i] [I]0-i had nothing to tell . [He]196-m. paul drew [his]196-m. paul chair nearer . [He]196-m. paul did not grow vexed , though [I]0-i continued silent and icy . [He]196-m. paul tried to win a word ; [he]196-m. paul entreated with perseverance , [he]196-m. paul waited with patience . " [Justine Marie]429-justine marie is [a good girl]7992-a good girl , "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul , " docile and amiable ; not quick - but [you]0-i will like [her]429-justine marie . "[196-m. paul] " [I]0-i think not . [I]0-i think [she]429-justine marie must not come [here]4212-here . "[0-i] Such was [my]0-i speech . " Do [you]0-i wish to puzzle [me]196-m. paul ? Do [you]0-i know [her]429-justine marie ? But , in truth , there is something . Again [you]0-i are pale as that statue . Rely on [Paul Carlos]496-paul carlos ; tell [him]496-paul carlos the grief . "[196-m. paul] [His]196-m. paul chair touched [mine]0-i ; [his]196-m. paul hand , quietly advanced , turned [me]0-i towards [him]196-m. paul . " Do [you]0-i know [Marie Justine]7994-marie justine ? "[196-m. paul] said [he]196-m. paul again . The name re - pronounced by [his]196-m. paul lips overcame [me]0-i unaccountably . It did not prostrate - no , it stirred [me]0-i up , running with haste and heat through [my]0-i veins - recalling an hour of quick pain , many days and nights of heart - sickness . Near [me]0-i as [he]196-m. paul now sat , strongly and closely as [he]196-m. paul had long twined [his]196-m. paul life in [mine]0-i - far as had progressed , and near as was achieved [our]4132-our minds ' and affections ' assimilation - the very suggestion of interference , of heart - separation , could be heard only with a fermenting excitement , an impetuous throe , a disdainful resolve , an ire , a resistance of which no human eye or cheek could hide the flame , nor any truth - accustomed human tongue curb the cry . " [I]0-i want to tell [you]196-m. paul something , "[0-i] [I]0-i said : " [I]0-i want to tell [you]196-m. paul all . "[0-i] " Speak , [Lucy]142-lucy ; come near ; speak . Who prizes [you]196-m. paul , if [I]0-i do not ? Who is [[your]196-m. paul friend]5751-your friend , if not [Emanuel]196-m. paul ? Speak ! "[0-i] [I]0-i spoke . All escaped from [my]0-i lips . [I]0-i lacked not words now ; fast [I]0-i narrated ; fluent [I]0-i told [my]0-i tale ; it streamed on [my]0-i tongue . [I]0-i went back to the night in [the park]987-the park ; [I]0-i mentioned the medicated draught - why it was given - its goading effect - how it had torn rest from under [my]0-i head , shaken [me]0-i from [my]0-i couch , carried [me]0-i abroad with the lure of a vivid yet solemn fancy - a summer - night solitude on turf , under trees , near [a deep , cool lakelet]4134-a deep , cool lakelet . [I]0-i told the scene realized ; [the crowd]5310-the crowd , the masques , the music , the lamps , the splendours , the guns booming afar , the bells sounding on high . All [I]0-i had encountered [I]0-i detailed , all [I]0-i had recognised , heard , and seen ; how [I]0-i had beheld and watched [himself]4136-he : how [I]0-i listened , how much heard , what conjectured ; the whole history , in brief , summoned to [his]4136-he confidence , rushed thither , truthful , literal , ardent , bitter . Still as [I]0-i narrated , instead of checking , [he]4136-he incited [me]0-i to proceed [he]4136-he spurred [me]0-i by the gesture , the smile , the half - word . Before [I]0-i had half done , [he]4136-he held both [my]0-i hands , [he]4136-he consulted [my]0-i eyes with a most piercing glance : there was something in [his]4136-he face which tended neither to calm nor to put [me]0-i down ; [he]4136-he forgot [his]4136-he own doctrine , [he]4136-he forsook [his]4136-he own system of repression when [I]0-i most challenged its exercise . [I]0-i think [I]0-i deserved strong reproof ; but when have [we]4137-we [[our]4137-we deserts]4138-our deserts ? [I]0-i merited severity ; [he]4136-he looked indulgence . To [my]0-i very self [I]0-i seemed imperious and unreasonable , for [I]0-i forbade [Justine Marie]429-justine marie [my]0-i door and roof ; [he]4136-he smiled , betraying delight . Warm , jealous , and haughty , [I]0-i knew not till now that [my]0-i nature had such a mood : [he]4136-he gathered [me]0-i near [his]4136-he heart . [I]0-i was full of faults ; [he]4136-he took [them]4139-them and [me]0-i all [home]542-home . For the moment of utmost mutiny , [he]4136-he reserved the one deep spell of peace . These words caressed [my]0-i ear : - " [Lucy]142-lucy , take [my]4141-my love . One day share [my]4141-my life . Be [[my]4141-my dearest]7996-my dearest , first on [earth]4454-earth . "[4141-my] [We]4141-my walked back to [the Rue Fossette]44-the rue fossette by moonlight - such moonlight as fell on [Eden]419-eden - shining through the shades of [the Great Garden]4142-the great garden , and haply gilding a path glorious for a step divine - a Presence nameless . Once in [their]4143-their lives [some men]4144-some men and [women]4398-women go back to these first fresh days of [[our]4141-my great Sire]4146-our great sire and [Mother]4258-mother - taste that grand morning 's dew - bathe in its sunrise . In the course of the walk [I]0-i was told how [Justine Marie Sauveur]429-justine marie had always been regarded with the affection proper to [a daughter]6240-a daughter - how , with [M. Paul]196-m. paul 's consent , [she]429-justine marie had been affianced for months to [one Heinrich Muehler]471-heinrich muehler , [a wealthy young German merchant]4149-a wealthy young german merchant , and was to be married in the course of a year . [Some of [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's relations]4150-some of m. emanuel 's relations and connections would , indeed , it seems , have liked [him]471-heinrich muehler to marry [her]429-justine marie , with a view to securing [her]429-justine marie fortune in [the family]7733-the family ; but to [himself]471-heinrich muehler the scheme was repugnant , and the idea totally inadmissible . [We]4141-my reached [Madame Beck]190-madame 's door . [Jean Baptiste]240-jean baptiste 's clock tolled nine . At this hour , in [this house]5145-this house , eighteen months since , had [this man at [my]0-i side]4153-this man at my side bent before [me]0-i , looked into [my]0-i face and eyes , and arbitered [my]0-i destiny . This very evening [he]4153-this man at my side had again stooped , gazed , and decreed . How different the look - how far otherwise the fate ! [He]4153-this man at my side deemed [me]0-i born under [his]4153-this man at my side star : [he]4153-this man at my side seemed to have spread over [me]0-i its beam like a banner . Once - unknown , and unloved , [I]0-i held [him]4153-this man at my side harsh and strange ; the low stature , the wiry make , the angles , the darkness , the manner , displeased [me]0-i . Now , penetrated with [his]4153-this man at my side influence , and living by [his]4153-this man at my side affection , having [his]4153-this man at my side worth by intellect , and [his]4153-this man at my side goodness by heart - [I]0-i preferred [him]4153-this man at my side before all humanity . [We]4154-we parted : [he]4153-this man at my side gave [me]0-i [his]4153-this man at my side pledge , and then [his]4153-this man at my side farewell . [We]4154-we parted : the next day - [he]4153-this man at my side sailed . CHAPTER XLII . [FINIS]497-finis . [Man]618-man can not prophesy . Love is no oracle . [Fear]475-fear sometimes imagines a vain thing . Those years of absence ! How had [I]0-i sickened over [their]4156-their anticipation ! The woe [they]4156-their must bring seemed certain as death . [I]0-i knew the nature of [their]4156-their course : [I]0-i never had doubt how it would harrow as it went . The juggernaut on [[his]4153-this man at my side car]4157-his car towered there a grim load . Seeing [him]4153-this man at my side draw nigh , burying [his]4153-this man at my side broad wheels in the oppressed soil - [I]0-i , [the prostrate votary]4158-the prostrate votary - felt beforehand [the annihilating craunch]4159-the annihilating craunch . Strange to say - strange , yet true , and owning many parallels in life 's experience - that anticipatory craunch proved all - yes - nearly all the torture . [The great Juggernaut]4160-the great juggernaut , in [[his]4160-the great juggernaut great chariot]4161-his great chariot , drew on lofty , loud , and sullen . [He]4160-the great juggernaut passed quietly , like a shadow sweeping the sky , at noon . Nothing but a chilling dimness was seen or felt . [I]0-i looked up . [Chariot]4162-chariot and [demon charioteer]4163-demon charioteer were gone by ; [the votary]4164-the votary still lived . [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul was away three years . Reader , they were the three happiest years of [my]0-i life . Do [you]4165-you scout the paradox ? Listen . [I]0-i commenced [[my]0-i school]4166-my school ; [I]0-i worked - [I]0-i worked hard . [I]0-i deemed [myself]0-i [the steward of [[his]4160-the great juggernaut property]4168-his property]4167-the steward of his property , and determined , God willing , to render a good account . [Pupils]4924-pupils came - [burghers]4170-burghers at first - a higher class ere long . About the middle of the second year an unexpected chance threw into [my]0-i hands an additional hundred pounds : one day [I]0-i received from [England]19-england a letter containing that sum . It came from [Mr. Marchmont]498-mr. marchmont , [the cousin and heir of [[my]0-i dear and dead mistress]4172-my dear and dead mistress]4171-the cousin and heir of my dear and dead mistress . [He]498-mr. marchmont was just recovering from a dangerous illness ; the money was a peace - offering to [his]498-mr. marchmont conscience , reproaching [him]498-mr. marchmont in the matter of , [I]0-i know not what , papers or memoranda found after [[his]498-mr. marchmont kinswoman]4173-his kinswoman 's death - naming or recommending [Lucy Snowe]142-lucy . [Mrs. Barrett]167-mrs. barrett had given [him]498-mr. marchmont [my]0-i address . How far [his]498-mr. marchmont conscience had been sinned against , [I]0-i never inquired . [I]0-i asked no questions , but took the cash and made it useful . With this hundred pounds [I]0-i ventured to take [the house adjoining [mine]0-i]4174-the house adjoining mine . [I]0-i would not leave that which [M. Paul]196-m. paul had chosen , in which [he]196-m. paul had left , and where [he]196-m. paul expected again to find [me]0-i . [[My]0-i externat]4175-my externat became [a pensionnat]1093-a pensionnat ; that also prospered . The secret of [my]0-i success did not lie so much in [myself]0-i , in any endowment , any power of [mine]0-i , as in a new state of circumstances , a wonderfully changed life , a relieved heart . The spring which moved [my]0-i energies lay far away beyond [seas]6938-seas , in [an Indian isle]4178-an indian isle . At parting , [I]0-i had been left a legacy ; such a thought for the present , such a hope for the future , such a motive for a persevering , a laborious , [an enterprising]4179-an enterprising , [a patient]1888-a patient and a brave course - [I]0-i could not flag . Few things shook [me]0-i now ; few things had importance to vex , intimidate , or depress [me]0-i : most things pleased - mere trifles had a charm . Do not think that this genial flame sustained itself , or lived wholly on a bequeathed hope or a parting promise . [A generous provider]4181-a generous provider supplied bounteous fuel . [I]0-i was spared all chill , all stint ; [I]0-i was not suffered to fear penury ; [I]0-i was not tried with suspense . By every vessel [he]4182-he wrote ; [he]4182-he wrote as [he]4182-he gave and as [he]4182-he loved , in full - handed , full - hearted plenitude . [He]4182-he wrote because [he]4182-he liked to write ; [he]4182-he did not abridge , because [he]4182-he cared not to abridge . [He]4182-he sat down , [he]4182-he took pen and paper , because [he]4182-he loved [Lucy]142-lucy and had much to say to [her]142-lucy ; because [he]4182-he was faithful and thoughtful , because [he]4182-he was tender and true . There was no sham and no cheat , and no hollow unreal in [him]4182-he . Apology never dropped [her]142-lucy slippery oil on [his]4182-he lips - never proffered , by [his]4182-he pen , [her]142-lucy coward feints and paltry nullities : [he]4182-he would give neither a stone , nor an excuse - neither a scorpion ; nor a disappointment ; [his]4182-he letters were real food that nourished , living water that refreshed . And was [I]0-i grateful ? God knows ! [I]0-i believe that scarce [a living being so remembered , so sustained , dealt with in kind so constant , honourable and noble]4183-a living being so remembered , so sustained , dealt with in kind so constant , honourable and noble , could be otherwise than grateful to the death . Adherent to [his]4182-he own religion in [him]4182-he was not the stuff of which is made [the facile apostate]4184-the facile apostate , [he]4182-he freely left [me]0-i [my]0-i pure faith . [He]4182-he did not tease nor tempt . [He]4182-he said : - " Remain [a Protestant]928-a protestant . [My]4182-he little English Puritan , [I]4182-he love Protestantism in [you]0-i . [I]4182-he own its severe charm . There is something in its ritual [I]4182-he can not receive [myself]4182-he , but it is the sole creed for ' [Lucy]142-lucy . ' "[4182-he] All [Rome]54-rome could not put into [him]4182-he bigotry , nor the Propaganda itself make [him]4182-he [a real Jesuit]4185-a real jesuit . [He]4182-he was born honest , and not false - artless , and not cunning - [a freeman]4186-a freeman , and not [a slave]5763-a slave . [His]4182-he tenderness had rendered [him]4182-he ductile in [a priest]5700-a priest 's hands , [his]4182-he affection , [his]4182-he devotedness , [his]4182-he sincere pious enthusiasm blinded [his]4182-he kind eyes sometimes , made [him]4182-he abandon justice to [himself]4182-he to do the work of craft , and serve the ends of selfishness ; but these are faults so rare to find , so costly to [[their]4189-their owner]4190-their owner to indulge , [we]4191-we scarce know whether they will not one day be reckoned amongst the jewels . And now the three years are past : [M. Emanuel]196-m. paul 's return is fixed . It is Autumn ; [he]4182-he is to be with [me]0-i ere the mists of November come . [[My]0-i school]4166-my school flourishes , [[my]0-i house]1813-my house is ready : [I]0-i have made [him]4182-he [a little library]4194-a little library , filled [its]4194-a little library shelves with the books [he]4182-he left in [my]0-i care : [I]0-i have cultivated out of love for [him]4182-he [I]0-i was naturally no florist the plants [he]4182-he preferred , and some of them are yet in bloom . [I]0-i thought [I]0-i loved [him]4182-he when [he]4182-he went away ; [I]0-i love [him]4182-he now in another degree : [he]4182-he is more [my]0-i own . The sun passes the equinox ; the days shorten , the leaves grow sere ; but - -he is coming . Frosts appear at night ; [November]499-november has sent [his]4182-he fogs in advance ; the wind takes its autumn moan ; but - [he]4182-he is coming . The skies hang full and dark - a wrack sails from the west ; the clouds cast themselves into strange forms - arches and broad radiations ; there rise resplendent mornings - glorious , royal , purple as monarch in [his]4182-he state ; the heavens are one flame ; so wild are [they]4195-they , [they]4195-they rival battle at its thickest - so bloody , [they]4195-they shame Victory in [her]4196-her pride . [I]0-i know some signs of the sky ; [I]0-i have noted them ever since childhood . [God]164-god watch that sail ! Oh ! guard it ! The wind shifts to the west . Peace , peace , [Banshee]161-the banshee - " keening "[161-the banshee] at every window ! It will rise - it will swell - it shrieks out long : wander as [I]0-i may through [the house]518-the house this night , [I]0-i can not lull the blast . The advancing hours make it strong : by midnight , [all sleepless watchers]4198-all sleepless watchers hear and fear a wild south - west storm . That storm roared frenzied , for seven days . It did not cease till [the Atlantic]126-the atlantic was strewn with wrecks : it did not lull till the deeps had gorged [their]4199-their full of sustenance . Not till [the destroying angel of tempest]4200-the destroying angel of tempest had achieved [his]4200-the destroying angel of tempest perfect work , would [he]4200-the destroying angel of tempest fold the wings whose waft was thunder - the tremor of whose plumes was storm . Peace , be still ! Oh ! [a thousand weepers]4201-a thousand weepers , praying in agony on waiting shores , listened for that voice , but it was not uttered - not uttered till ; when the hush came , [some]5400-some could not feel it : till , when the sun returned , [his]4182-he light was night to some ! Here pause : pause at once . There is enough said . Trouble no quiet , kind heart ; leave sunny imaginations hope . Let it be theirs to conceive the delight of joy born again fresh out of great terror , the rapture of rescue from peril , the wondrous reprieve from dread , the fruition of return . Let [them]4201-a thousand weepers picture union and a happy succeeding life . [Madame Beck]190-madame prospered all the days of [her]190-madame life ; so did [Pere Silas]289-pere silas ; [Madame Walravens]424-madame walravens fulfilled [her]424-madame walravens ninetieth year before [she]424-madame walravens died . Farewell . THE END .